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This is Hoffman's Head.
2
00:00:31,250 --> 00:00:32,416
Hey, Headlights,
3
00:00:32,417 --> 00:00:34,958
I'm gonna open up your Fanmail.
4
00:00:34,959 --> 00:00:37,083
"To Garrett Hoffman."
Well, that's me!
5
00:00:38,458 --> 00:00:40,249
Oh!
6
00:00:40,250 --> 00:00:42,124
And the note says, "Garrett,
7
00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:44,124
"My pet earthworm had babies,
8
00:00:44,125 --> 00:00:47,666
and I'm giving them
to you to raise."
9
00:00:47,667 --> 00:00:48,667
From Tony.
10
00:00:48,668 --> 00:00:51,958
Alright, I'm just going
fucking crazy!
11
00:00:51,959 --> 00:00:55,749
I can't control
this fucking car!
12
00:00:55,750 --> 00:00:57,624
What's the first word
that comes to your mind
13
00:00:57,625 --> 00:00:59,124
when you think of air?
14
00:00:59,125 --> 00:01:00,666
It's lightweight, see.
15
00:01:00,667 --> 00:01:01,792
What is it?
16
00:01:02,834 --> 00:01:03,959
What is it?!
17
00:01:06,458 --> 00:01:10,624
In our laboratories, we did
scientific side-by-side tests.
18
00:01:10,625 --> 00:01:12,416
Breathing air
versus breathing...
19
00:01:12,417 --> 00:01:13,791
Chicken broth.
20
00:01:13,792 --> 00:01:15,958
Air is better.
21
00:01:15,959 --> 00:01:17,666
You literally brought
a cane to a gunfight.
22
00:01:17,667 --> 00:01:19,708
Why don't you just
derail the train, Garrett?
23
00:01:19,709 --> 00:01:21,624
Some things shall be easy.
24
00:01:21,625 --> 00:01:23,582
It's "Assassins Creed."
It must be a dance.
25
00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:25,708
Babe, who's... ah!
Who's winning?
26
00:01:25,709 --> 00:01:26,874
So... so he's good.
27
00:01:26,875 --> 00:01:28,457
Oh!
28
00:01:30,959 --> 00:01:33,499
Oh my God! They're on my face.
They're on my face.
29
00:01:33,500 --> 00:01:34,624
You know, I have no idea why,
30
00:01:34,625 --> 00:01:36,165
but the first thing
that comes to my mind
31
00:01:36,166 --> 00:01:37,499
when I think of the word "air"
32
00:01:37,500 --> 00:01:39,666
is "airy."
33
00:01:39,667 --> 00:01:40,708
Talcum powder.
34
00:01:42,875 --> 00:01:43,958
Air is better.
35
00:01:43,959 --> 00:01:45,916
Hey, thanks for letting us
into your devices.
36
00:01:45,917 --> 00:01:47,874
Next time on
"Cooking with Serial Killers"
37
00:01:47,875 --> 00:01:51,499
Jeffrey Dahmer is back
with tips on summer grilling.
38
00:01:51,500 --> 00:01:52,708
It's gonna be great.
39
00:01:52,709 --> 00:01:54,666
Check here for
bloopers and outtakes.
40
00:01:54,667 --> 00:01:58,332
And like, share,
follow, and subscribe.
41
00:01:58,333 --> 00:01:59,999
Like, share, follow.
42
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:02,958
For more, please
like, share, follow.
43
00:02:02,959 --> 00:02:03,999
Like, Share...
44
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:05,666
Follow, and of course...
45
00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:06,958
Subscribe.
46
00:02:06,959 --> 00:02:09,207
Okay!
Rolling!
47
00:02:10,458 --> 00:02:11,708
We hit two million!
48
00:02:11,709 --> 00:02:14,749
The antimatter hyperdrive
can't take those numbers!
49
00:02:14,750 --> 00:02:18,249
For the love of God, man,
tell them to stop subscribing.
50
00:02:18,250 --> 00:02:20,207
Wait, what?
How many?
51
00:02:20,208 --> 00:02:22,541
Two million!
52
00:02:22,542 --> 00:02:24,582
Yes! Two million
of you insaniacs
53
00:02:24,583 --> 00:02:26,416
have volunteered to get my head
54
00:02:26,417 --> 00:02:28,332
delivered to your heads
on a daily basis.
55
00:02:28,333 --> 00:02:29,874
So, I just wanna say thank you,
56
00:02:29,875 --> 00:02:32,332
gracias, Merci, danke, arigato.
57
00:02:32,333 --> 00:02:33,874
And while this is
Hoffman's Head,
58
00:02:33,875 --> 00:02:37,332
it would not be possible
without Kiki Lee
59
00:02:37,333 --> 00:02:39,207
and the incurable Lyle Burris.
60
00:02:39,208 --> 00:02:41,499
Give 'em some love. Whoo!
61
00:02:41,500 --> 00:02:43,207
But of course, Oh.
62
00:02:43,208 --> 00:02:45,374
The real people I couldn't
have done this without...
63
00:02:45,375 --> 00:02:46,416
is you guys.
64
00:02:46,417 --> 00:02:48,249
My Headlights.
The Hoffman-heads.
65
00:02:48,250 --> 00:02:50,958
I mean it. I-I really can't
believe you're all out there
66
00:02:50,959 --> 00:02:52,457
carrying my head
around in your pockets,
67
00:02:52,458 --> 00:02:54,249
and checking in with my head
at your desks.
68
00:02:54,250 --> 00:02:55,916
It's... it's crazy.
69
00:02:55,917 --> 00:02:56,999
But you have changed my life,
70
00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:59,749
and you have made
my dreams come true.
71
00:02:59,750 --> 00:03:01,582
And I love you guys.
72
00:03:01,583 --> 00:03:04,708
I really do!
I really do.
73
00:03:04,709 --> 00:03:06,249
Like a lot.
74
00:03:09,959 --> 00:03:11,249
That's gross.
75
00:03:24,083 --> 00:03:25,125
Hello.
76
00:03:26,375 --> 00:03:27,582
Hi.
77
00:03:27,583 --> 00:03:29,374
Hi.
78
00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:32,499
Uh, Box 1754, please.
79
00:03:32,500 --> 00:03:34,624
Oh.
80
00:03:34,625 --> 00:03:36,332
Yeah, I've been trying
to figure you out.
81
00:03:36,333 --> 00:03:38,834
Oh, don't do that.
82
00:03:39,917 --> 00:03:42,958
I really couldn't resist.
83
00:03:42,959 --> 00:03:45,458
So, what did you come up with?
84
00:03:48,458 --> 00:03:49,749
Well, I...
85
00:03:49,750 --> 00:03:52,708
I thought you might run
a mental hospital for teenagers.
86
00:03:52,709 --> 00:03:53,959
Kind of, yeah.
87
00:03:55,041 --> 00:03:56,666
Uh, I'm on YouTube.
88
00:03:56,667 --> 00:03:58,708
Well, what are you?
A LOLcat?
89
00:03:58,709 --> 00:04:01,207
What, you don't think I could
be a LOLcat?
90
00:04:01,208 --> 00:04:02,332
I can haz cheeseburger.
91
00:04:02,333 --> 00:04:03,624
Oh, really?
Yeah.
92
00:04:04,709 --> 00:04:06,791
This is America, and you
can be whatever you dream.
93
00:04:06,792 --> 00:04:08,625
Thank you.
Yeah, rock on.
94
00:04:12,083 --> 00:04:13,499
I'm Garrett.
95
00:04:13,500 --> 00:04:15,332
Shell.
96
00:04:15,333 --> 00:04:17,666
"Shell"?
97
00:04:17,667 --> 00:04:19,458
I'm Michelle, but...
98
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:22,000
Uh...
99
00:04:23,333 --> 00:04:25,165
Hydrology.
100
00:04:25,166 --> 00:04:26,708
Your... your book.
101
00:04:26,709 --> 00:04:28,582
You like fluid mechanics?
102
00:04:28,583 --> 00:04:29,999
You... yeah!
103
00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:31,290
Yes! It's great. I love it.
104
00:04:31,291 --> 00:04:33,125
What is your favorite
thing about it?
105
00:04:35,291 --> 00:04:36,250
One thing.
106
00:04:36,251 --> 00:04:37,332
One thing.
One thing.
107
00:04:37,333 --> 00:04:39,040
Um...
108
00:04:39,041 --> 00:04:41,375
My favorite thing about
fluid mechanics... Yes?
109
00:04:42,417 --> 00:04:44,124
Is?
Is
110
00:04:44,125 --> 00:04:46,005
the mechanics of it all.
The mechanics.
111
00:04:48,291 --> 00:04:49,416
Hoffman's Head? That's you?
112
00:04:49,417 --> 00:04:51,499
Mm-hmm. That's my head.
113
00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:53,124
I will check it out.
114
00:04:53,125 --> 00:04:55,666
And if I like it, I'll put
kissy lips on a postcard
115
00:04:55,667 --> 00:04:57,083
and... and leave it in your box.
116
00:04:58,375 --> 00:04:59,417
Okay.
117
00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:02,542
Okay!
118
00:05:11,083 --> 00:05:12,709
Can I borrow that?
119
00:05:14,375 --> 00:05:17,249
Um, this is my number.
120
00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:19,332
You know, just in case.
121
00:05:19,333 --> 00:05:21,000
Something happens?
122
00:05:23,667 --> 00:05:26,249
Uh, that's private, okay?
123
00:05:26,250 --> 00:05:27,875
Sure.
124
00:05:29,166 --> 00:05:30,208
Okay.
125
00:05:34,917 --> 00:05:36,916
So what happens
after all of this ends?
126
00:05:36,917 --> 00:05:38,457
Because you know, spoiler alert!
127
00:05:38,458 --> 00:05:41,582
Okay. You know, what if
YouTube isn't just some fad?
128
00:05:41,583 --> 00:05:42,583
What if it's like...
129
00:05:42,584 --> 00:05:44,708
It's the invention
of the printing press?
130
00:05:44,709 --> 00:05:45,958
And I'm in on it.
131
00:05:45,959 --> 00:05:48,582
Well, then, that makes me
a monk in a monastery
132
00:05:48,583 --> 00:05:50,999
illuminating manuscripts.
133
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:52,082
Please just promise me
134
00:05:52,083 --> 00:05:54,833
you'll consider
a teaching degree.
135
00:05:54,834 --> 00:05:57,290
I just think you should have
something to fall back on.
136
00:05:58,333 --> 00:06:00,792
Would you just stop
for a minute, Dad?
137
00:06:02,083 --> 00:06:03,374
Try the sandwich.
138
00:06:03,375 --> 00:06:04,916
I'll have it for dinner.
139
00:06:04,917 --> 00:06:07,290
It's your favorite
from Arthur's.
140
00:06:09,083 --> 00:06:11,541
Can you please just look at it?
141
00:06:11,542 --> 00:06:13,291
Look at the sandwich?
Yeah.
142
00:06:25,917 --> 00:06:27,750
What is this?
Open it.
143
00:06:34,125 --> 00:06:35,582
Huh!
144
00:06:35,583 --> 00:06:37,291
I told you things
were going really well.
145
00:06:40,125 --> 00:06:42,207
I can't take this, Garrett.
146
00:06:42,208 --> 00:06:43,290
You put it away.
No!
147
00:06:43,291 --> 00:06:44,624
Put it away for yourself.
No, no, no.
148
00:06:44,625 --> 00:06:46,499
I'm fine. I'm investing...
149
00:06:46,500 --> 00:06:47,792
in your store.
150
00:06:51,458 --> 00:06:54,625
Whoever's giving you
financial advice is a moron.
151
00:06:55,875 --> 00:06:57,541
Look, I know you don't get it,
152
00:06:57,542 --> 00:06:59,708
but all my life...
153
00:06:59,709 --> 00:07:02,499
everybody's been worried about how I
was gonna survive in the real world.
154
00:07:02,500 --> 00:07:04,457
Right? Including me.
155
00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:07,791
Now all of a sudden, all that stuff
everyone told me to quit doing,
156
00:07:07,792 --> 00:07:09,666
like clowning around,
playing video games,
157
00:07:09,667 --> 00:07:12,542
that's like... that's a
real thing that people do.
158
00:07:14,667 --> 00:07:17,290
I'm good at this.
I'm really good at this.
159
00:07:17,291 --> 00:07:19,208
Have you seen any of my videos?
160
00:07:20,250 --> 00:07:21,999
A lot of people like them.
161
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:24,166
A lot of people
like a lot of things.
162
00:07:31,375 --> 00:07:32,833
Thanks for the sandwich.
163
00:07:32,834 --> 00:07:34,667
You're welcome.
164
00:07:44,041 --> 00:07:46,040
Come on, little goblins!
165
00:07:46,041 --> 00:07:47,499
Good job, man. Good.
166
00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:48,624
How did you just do that?
167
00:07:48,625 --> 00:07:51,124
Unlocked the goblin outrage.
168
00:07:51,125 --> 00:07:54,416
Yes. Fuck you. Fuck you.
169
00:07:54,417 --> 00:07:55,709
And I'm large!
170
00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:59,040
But why is he dead?
171
00:07:59,041 --> 00:08:01,249
I won, but the guy's like...
172
00:08:01,250 --> 00:08:03,457
on the floor, dead.
173
00:08:03,458 --> 00:08:05,000
Okay.
174
00:08:06,542 --> 00:08:07,749
Alright.
175
00:08:07,750 --> 00:08:11,374
Okay, so we got about 4,000
people on the stream right now.
176
00:08:11,375 --> 00:08:13,541
Live here in Hoffman's Head.
177
00:08:13,542 --> 00:08:16,040
Streaming from 9:00 p.m. until
"I just can't take it anymore"
178
00:08:16,041 --> 00:08:17,874
every Friday night.
179
00:08:17,875 --> 00:08:21,666
So, I've been trying
to cope with some existential issues.
180
00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:23,207
I'm just gonna throw
that out to you guys.
181
00:08:23,208 --> 00:08:26,374
You night birds and mysterians
out there in the webisphere.
182
00:08:26,375 --> 00:08:29,958
Um, the topic is my life.
183
00:08:29,959 --> 00:08:31,582
What do I do with it?
184
00:08:31,583 --> 00:08:33,082
After YouTube? Chime in.
185
00:08:33,083 --> 00:08:36,582
Dude, you're, like,
living the dream, okay?
186
00:08:36,583 --> 00:08:38,416
I am. I am.
187
00:08:38,417 --> 00:08:41,916
But sometimes people
in your life can be...
188
00:08:41,917 --> 00:08:43,249
human alarm clocks.
189
00:08:43,250 --> 00:08:46,290
Are we talking about girlfriends,
Garrett, or relatives?
190
00:08:46,291 --> 00:08:48,165
Relatives, yes, exactly!
191
00:08:48,166 --> 00:08:49,416
Emotional kryptonite.
192
00:08:49,417 --> 00:08:51,916
They... they come from
the same distant planet as you,
193
00:08:51,917 --> 00:08:53,749
so they can just take away
your powers.
194
00:08:53,750 --> 00:08:55,958
Garrett, you can always
come live with us.
195
00:08:55,959 --> 00:08:57,416
Can I?
196
00:08:57,417 --> 00:08:59,499
And who is "us" exactly?
197
00:08:59,500 --> 00:09:02,916
Me, my mother,
my father, my brother.
198
00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:04,207
Okay.
199
00:09:04,208 --> 00:09:06,040
That sounds awful, thank you.
200
00:09:06,041 --> 00:09:07,958
Oh, hey, it's FanGirl!
201
00:09:07,959 --> 00:09:09,499
Just what you need.
Hey, FanGirl.
202
00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:12,374
Hey, Garrett.
I'm in your head again.
203
00:09:12,375 --> 00:09:14,040
Yes, you are.
204
00:09:14,041 --> 00:09:15,374
Been a while.
Where have you been?
205
00:09:15,375 --> 00:09:17,499
Making some moves.
206
00:09:17,500 --> 00:09:19,082
But I'm back.
207
00:09:19,083 --> 00:09:20,958
I'm here for you, Garrett,
just say the word,
208
00:09:20,959 --> 00:09:23,374
and I am at your door.
209
00:09:23,375 --> 00:09:25,708
As always, FanGirl,
you're turning me on,
210
00:09:25,709 --> 00:09:28,624
and creeping me out in equal measure.
It's a gift.
211
00:09:28,625 --> 00:09:31,207
Yo, she's probably
like 50 years old and ugly.
212
00:09:31,208 --> 00:09:33,332
Only one way to find out.
213
00:09:33,333 --> 00:09:35,249
You do know I have a rule,
right, FanGirl?
214
00:09:35,250 --> 00:09:37,791
Well, rules
are made to be broken.
215
00:09:37,792 --> 00:09:39,082
Thing is, FanGirl,
216
00:09:39,083 --> 00:09:41,082
I made up the rule
for your benefit.
217
00:09:41,083 --> 00:09:43,708
It protects you from the
inevitable disappointment,
218
00:09:43,709 --> 00:09:45,332
because you guys already
get the best of me.
219
00:09:45,333 --> 00:09:46,749
What's left in the day
is just, like,
220
00:09:46,750 --> 00:09:48,666
14 hours swinging the mouse.
221
00:09:48,667 --> 00:09:50,833
I am not...
I'm not interesting.
222
00:09:50,834 --> 00:09:53,791
Well, I could give
you a back rub as you work.
223
00:09:53,792 --> 00:09:56,165
Or I could get on my knees...
224
00:09:56,166 --> 00:09:58,708
in front of your chair
and use my...
225
00:09:58,709 --> 00:10:00,249
Okay, okay!
226
00:10:00,250 --> 00:10:01,999
As delightful
as that would be...
227
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:04,332
Oh, now...
Now Raveon's jealous.
228
00:10:04,333 --> 00:10:06,332
See, this is why
we have the rule.
229
00:10:06,333 --> 00:10:07,999
I love you all equally.
230
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:10,082
I can't pick one Headlight
over another.
231
00:10:10,083 --> 00:10:11,249
Just can't.
232
00:10:11,250 --> 00:10:13,207
But there's no
one else like me, Garrett.
233
00:10:13,208 --> 00:10:15,458
And deep down, you know it.
234
00:10:16,625 --> 00:10:18,791
You know, I honestly don't know
235
00:10:18,792 --> 00:10:20,542
what I know anymore, FanGirl.
236
00:10:21,834 --> 00:10:24,040
Except that you're
all out there.
237
00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:27,542
And that makes me feel
like I'm home.
238
00:10:29,375 --> 00:10:33,582
Okay, imagine,
like, living in this world.
239
00:10:33,583 --> 00:10:35,457
And having to actually, like,
240
00:10:35,458 --> 00:10:37,374
fight these goblins.
241
00:10:37,375 --> 00:10:39,082
Just on a daily basis.
242
00:10:59,875 --> 00:11:01,208
It's really good.
243
00:11:05,250 --> 00:11:07,207
It's the worst date food
ever, right?
244
00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:08,916
I didn't want to say anything,
245
00:11:08,917 --> 00:11:10,749
but it is!
Oh! What was I thinking?
246
00:11:10,750 --> 00:11:13,833
Gosh! No, no, no. It's
really delicious.
247
00:11:13,834 --> 00:11:15,040
I know.
Really good.
248
00:11:15,041 --> 00:11:17,250
I love it.
That's why I come here, but...
249
00:11:18,333 --> 00:11:19,457
I'm an idiot.
250
00:11:19,458 --> 00:11:20,749
Yeah.
251
00:11:20,750 --> 00:11:22,250
But the good kind.
252
00:11:25,250 --> 00:11:28,499
Okay, so, what the fuck
is hydrology?
253
00:11:28,500 --> 00:11:30,332
Um, it is the, uh...
254
00:11:30,333 --> 00:11:33,124
the part of fluid mechanics
that tries to make sense
255
00:11:33,125 --> 00:11:37,291
of how liquids, gasses and
plasmas react to applied forces.
256
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:40,791
You say "plasmas" so casually.
257
00:11:40,792 --> 00:11:43,249
Most people I know
use plasmas to blast aliens.
258
00:11:43,250 --> 00:11:45,375
Well, you say "aliens"
so casually.
259
00:11:46,917 --> 00:11:48,040
True.
260
00:11:53,458 --> 00:11:55,625
Are you with anyone?
261
00:11:57,083 --> 00:11:59,417
Lately it kind of feels
like I'm with everyone.
262
00:12:00,458 --> 00:12:02,165
If that makes any sense.
263
00:12:02,166 --> 00:12:03,582
Yeah.
264
00:12:03,583 --> 00:12:05,290
Just haven't found
the one yet, huh?
265
00:12:05,291 --> 00:12:07,999
I don't even know
if there is a one.
266
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:10,124
I mean, yes, of course,
to control the Matrix.
267
00:12:10,125 --> 00:12:11,791
Mm-hmm.
You know, but...
268
00:12:11,792 --> 00:12:14,874
Yeah, but, you... you don't think
there's such a thing as true love?
269
00:12:14,875 --> 00:12:17,625
Yeah. Yeah, I do.
270
00:12:18,625 --> 00:12:20,582
But is it forever?
271
00:12:20,583 --> 00:12:24,249
I don't know.
Do you only get one?
272
00:12:24,250 --> 00:12:26,250
Well, more than one
would be complicated.
273
00:12:30,792 --> 00:12:32,500
Sorry. Excuse me, I...
274
00:12:36,083 --> 00:12:38,624
And what are you doing?
Texting Number Two?
275
00:12:38,625 --> 00:12:41,916
No, you... you gave me
an idea for a bit.
276
00:12:41,917 --> 00:12:43,499
So, we all have this mythology
277
00:12:43,500 --> 00:12:45,666
that there's, like, one perfect
person out there for us.
278
00:12:45,667 --> 00:12:48,040
Mm-hmm. But what if
there's, like, five?
279
00:12:48,041 --> 00:12:49,290
Five?
Yes.
280
00:12:49,291 --> 00:12:51,499
So you could have, like, four...
Four perfect girlfriends,
281
00:12:51,500 --> 00:12:53,125
but you still need
a number five!
282
00:12:55,625 --> 00:12:57,500
Sorry, hang on.
283
00:13:15,333 --> 00:13:17,542
So this... this is where
it all happens.
284
00:13:24,041 --> 00:13:26,624
So... the "Rule."
285
00:13:26,625 --> 00:13:27,833
Is that real?
286
00:13:27,834 --> 00:13:31,624
Uh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
It's real.
287
00:13:31,625 --> 00:13:34,457
You wouldn't go out
with one of those girls?
288
00:13:34,458 --> 00:13:36,541
It just...
It doesn't feel right,
289
00:13:36,542 --> 00:13:39,165
like it would be taking
advantage somehow.
290
00:13:39,166 --> 00:13:42,250
That girl, who sent you
her panties every week?
291
00:13:43,250 --> 00:13:45,040
And um...
292
00:13:45,041 --> 00:13:46,791
FanGirl on the livestream?
293
00:13:46,792 --> 00:13:49,124
Y-you're not tempted?
294
00:13:49,125 --> 00:13:51,207
I don't know what they want.
295
00:13:51,208 --> 00:13:53,165
Maybe just to make you happy.
296
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:54,791
They don't even know me!
297
00:13:54,792 --> 00:13:56,375
What don't they know?
298
00:14:00,709 --> 00:14:01,749
Well...
299
00:14:01,750 --> 00:14:04,041
not that much, actually.
300
00:14:05,750 --> 00:14:07,165
You okay with all this?
301
00:14:07,166 --> 00:14:08,499
What do you mean?
302
00:14:08,500 --> 00:14:10,416
You know, if you get
involved with me,
303
00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:12,958
you get involved in all this.
304
00:14:12,959 --> 00:14:16,332
My whole life,
it gets likes and comments.
305
00:14:16,333 --> 00:14:19,792
So you think
we are getting involved.
306
00:14:21,583 --> 00:14:22,875
I like you.
307
00:14:24,250 --> 00:14:25,250
Yeah?
308
00:14:26,834 --> 00:14:28,875
Yeah, you seem real.
309
00:14:30,250 --> 00:14:31,709
I am real.
310
00:15:41,583 --> 00:15:43,125
Good morning.
311
00:15:45,667 --> 00:15:48,165
Yeah. Yeah, it is.
312
00:15:48,166 --> 00:15:49,542
I knew it would be.
313
00:15:52,208 --> 00:15:54,834
I told you rules
were made to be broken.
314
00:15:57,500 --> 00:15:59,374
What do you mean?
315
00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:01,375
Oh, come on. You're telling
me you didn't know?
316
00:16:03,750 --> 00:16:05,249
Know what?
317
00:16:08,500 --> 00:16:12,709
Hey, Garrett. I'm in your head again...
and in your bed.
318
00:16:13,667 --> 00:16:15,040
What the hell are you doing?
319
00:16:15,041 --> 00:16:16,709
Being me.
320
00:16:21,166 --> 00:16:23,541
I'm sorry, um...
321
00:16:23,542 --> 00:16:25,416
I'm kinda freaking out here.
322
00:16:25,417 --> 00:16:27,374
You really didn't know?
No!
323
00:16:27,375 --> 00:16:30,708
Jesus, no! FanGirl lives
in... in Chicago!
324
00:16:30,709 --> 00:16:32,791
Not anymore. I moved here.
325
00:16:32,792 --> 00:16:35,749
I quit school, and I moved
here, and I took that job
326
00:16:35,750 --> 00:16:37,666
so we could do this
with no rules.
327
00:16:37,667 --> 00:16:39,708
You... you what? I'm sorry?
328
00:16:39,709 --> 00:16:41,207
You can't tell me
it wasn't good.
329
00:16:41,208 --> 00:16:42,750
No, that... that was fucked up.
330
00:16:44,083 --> 00:16:45,374
Is you name even
really Michelle?
331
00:16:45,375 --> 00:16:46,582
Of course it is.
332
00:16:46,583 --> 00:16:47,791
I didn't lie to you.
333
00:16:47,792 --> 00:16:50,416
I-I just told you some truths
you didn't know yet.
334
00:16:50,417 --> 00:16:52,749
What?
335
00:16:52,750 --> 00:16:55,416
Listen, y-you gotta go. Sorry.
336
00:16:55,417 --> 00:16:57,040
Are you kidding me?
337
00:16:57,041 --> 00:16:59,499
No, seriously. You gotta
get the fuck outta here.
338
00:16:59,500 --> 00:17:02,124
Why? Because you
fucking stalked me.
339
00:17:02,125 --> 00:17:04,332
No. I met you.
340
00:17:04,333 --> 00:17:06,207
How else was I supposed
to meet you, Garrett?
341
00:17:06,208 --> 00:17:08,582
I don't know. Honestly?
How?
342
00:17:08,583 --> 00:17:09,542
You had a rule,
343
00:17:09,543 --> 00:17:10,999
and if... if I didn't
do something,
344
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:12,416
we would never
have had last night.
345
00:17:12,417 --> 00:17:14,249
Last night was bullshit.
346
00:17:14,250 --> 00:17:16,165
You know that's not true.
347
00:17:16,166 --> 00:17:17,958
You felt something.
I know you did.
348
00:17:17,959 --> 00:17:20,207
Actually, I don't know
what the fuck I felt.
349
00:17:20,208 --> 00:17:21,208
Okay?
350
00:17:21,209 --> 00:17:23,165
Then why don't we figure it out?
351
00:17:23,166 --> 00:17:25,791
Sometimes people
just click, Garrett.
352
00:17:25,792 --> 00:17:27,625
And you can't make
rules for that.
353
00:17:28,750 --> 00:17:29,791
Knock, knock!
354
00:17:29,792 --> 00:17:31,959
Dude, you're not up?
We brought coffee!
355
00:17:36,625 --> 00:17:38,791
What happened to the clock?
356
00:17:38,792 --> 00:17:40,792
This was our special
time together.
357
00:17:59,959 --> 00:18:01,916
Nice almost meeting you.
358
00:18:01,917 --> 00:18:03,916
You, too.
359
00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:05,125
Take care.
360
00:18:20,375 --> 00:18:21,333
You know, sometime soon,
361
00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:23,041
you're going
to regret this, Garrett.
362
00:18:24,542 --> 00:18:27,375
And when that happens,
just know that I'm waiting.
363
00:18:29,500 --> 00:18:30,625
Okay?
364
00:18:31,667 --> 00:18:33,333
Goodbye, Michelle.
365
00:18:35,792 --> 00:18:36,792
Yeah.
366
00:18:46,166 --> 00:18:47,708
I don't know, bro.
367
00:18:47,709 --> 00:18:48,709
I mean...
368
00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:50,124
what'd she do wrong exactly?
369
00:18:50,125 --> 00:18:53,165
So you met online. How's that
any different than Tinder?
370
00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:55,374
Because only one
of us signed up.
371
00:18:55,375 --> 00:18:57,749
Love that doesn't listen.
372
00:18:57,750 --> 00:18:59,708
You like her.
373
00:18:59,709 --> 00:19:03,833
I mean, you guys have been
talking for, what, a year?
374
00:19:03,834 --> 00:19:05,249
You texted.
375
00:19:05,250 --> 00:19:07,833
She... sexted you.
376
00:19:07,834 --> 00:19:09,375
What's your point, Lyle?
377
00:19:10,375 --> 00:19:12,375
Did you ever tell her to stop?
378
00:19:16,625 --> 00:19:18,290
Can we just get to work?
379
00:19:18,291 --> 00:19:20,000
Yeah?
Mm-hmm.
380
00:19:21,041 --> 00:19:22,582
Yeah.
381
00:19:24,375 --> 00:19:27,457
Hey, it's Garrett.
Do what you gotta do.
382
00:19:27,458 --> 00:19:28,917
Garrett, listen.
383
00:19:30,500 --> 00:19:33,833
I'm in the top two percentile.
384
00:19:33,834 --> 00:19:35,583
Me and all of my friends.
385
00:19:36,709 --> 00:19:39,208
And we're all so fucked up.
386
00:19:41,250 --> 00:19:45,208
And nobody cares, just as long as
you're perfect on the outside.
387
00:19:49,041 --> 00:19:50,959
I was going
to kill myself, Garrett.
388
00:19:51,917 --> 00:19:54,332
I went to this guy
who sold pills,
389
00:19:54,333 --> 00:19:56,374
and when I got there...
390
00:19:56,375 --> 00:19:58,041
he was watching
your live stream.
391
00:19:59,083 --> 00:20:01,124
And you were just...
392
00:20:01,125 --> 00:20:03,417
connecting with all
of these people.
393
00:20:04,792 --> 00:20:06,374
You didn't give a fuck
what anyone thought.
394
00:20:06,375 --> 00:20:08,749
You were just... connecting.
395
00:20:08,750 --> 00:20:11,416
It didn't matter what
grade you got or...
396
00:20:11,417 --> 00:20:13,458
Or who was going
to stop loving you.
397
00:20:17,500 --> 00:20:18,874
So instead of taking the pills,
398
00:20:18,875 --> 00:20:21,250
I started coming
on the stream as FanGirl.
399
00:20:22,625 --> 00:20:24,749
And then last month,
I decided we had to meet.
400
00:20:24,750 --> 00:20:26,291
We had to see
what it would be like.
401
00:20:27,750 --> 00:20:29,834
Because you saved
my life, Garrett.
402
00:20:33,125 --> 00:20:34,249
I know you have a rule,
403
00:20:34,250 --> 00:20:36,250
but I also know
that I'm in love with you.
404
00:20:38,166 --> 00:20:40,624
And last night,
I think you let yourself
405
00:20:40,625 --> 00:20:42,625
be in love with me, too.
406
00:20:45,291 --> 00:20:46,458
Just a little.
407
00:20:49,500 --> 00:20:51,999
And last
night, I think you let yourself
408
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,500
be in love with me, too.
409
00:20:56,667 --> 00:20:57,792
Just a little.
410
00:20:59,500 --> 00:21:02,208
Call me. Okay?
411
00:21:13,583 --> 00:21:16,708
Do I have a raging
marionette doll fetish?
412
00:21:16,709 --> 00:21:17,667
Yes, I do.
413
00:21:17,668 --> 00:21:19,208
Am I in therapy for it?
Yes, I am.
414
00:21:20,333 --> 00:21:21,374
My therapist recommends having
415
00:21:21,375 --> 00:21:23,124
as many one-night stands
as possible
416
00:21:23,125 --> 00:21:24,958
to help cure me
of my puppet perversion,
417
00:21:24,959 --> 00:21:26,290
but I can't, I won't. I just...
418
00:21:26,291 --> 00:21:28,332
I could never be with a
girl, no strings attached.
419
00:21:30,834 --> 00:21:32,332
♪ It's been a week ♪
420
00:21:32,333 --> 00:21:36,875
♪ Since I've seen you smile ♪
421
00:21:38,625 --> 00:21:43,332
♪ Leaving your heart
outside my room ♪
422
00:21:43,333 --> 00:21:44,374
How ya doing?
423
00:21:44,375 --> 00:21:45,916
Hi, yeah, you were great.
424
00:21:45,917 --> 00:21:47,874
Thank you. Wasn't he?
Wasn't he awesome?
425
00:21:47,875 --> 00:21:49,666
Yeah, he's awesome.
Stop it, guys.
426
00:21:49,667 --> 00:21:51,207
But seriously, more.
427
00:21:51,208 --> 00:21:53,417
How... did you... you're
not... I loved it.
428
00:21:54,458 --> 00:21:57,542
♪ Don't make me feel this way ♪
429
00:21:58,500 --> 00:22:00,040
♪ Told my heart ♪
430
00:22:00,041 --> 00:22:01,749
♪ It should stay ♪
431
00:22:01,750 --> 00:22:06,249
Okay. Really?
♪ Don't make me feel this way ♪
432
00:22:06,250 --> 00:22:09,499
I'm just going to go use
the restroom.
433
00:22:09,500 --> 00:22:12,582
♪ Let me go,
let me go, let me go ♪
434
00:22:12,583 --> 00:22:16,791
♪ Oh, let me go,
let me go, let me go ♪
435
00:22:16,792 --> 00:22:18,165
♪ Oh ♪
436
00:22:25,458 --> 00:22:26,582
♪ Let me go ♪
437
00:22:26,583 --> 00:22:28,249
Whoa! Hello.
438
00:22:28,250 --> 00:22:30,040
Hi. How are you?
I'm good now.
439
00:22:30,041 --> 00:22:34,082
Hey, hold up. I'm not exactly
a bathroom kinda guy.
440
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:38,082
I am so drunk.
441
00:22:38,083 --> 00:22:39,666
Really?
442
00:22:40,668 --> 00:22:44,582
I'll, uh...
I'll take you home.
443
00:23:48,375 --> 00:23:50,374
Whoa! Come on.
444
00:23:53,166 --> 00:23:56,124
Fucking man-eaters
everywhere I turn.
445
00:23:56,125 --> 00:23:58,667
Eat me! You're not gonna
eat me today!
446
00:24:00,041 --> 00:24:01,791
Everywhere.
447
00:24:01,792 --> 00:24:03,833
Okay, please, God.
448
00:24:05,208 --> 00:24:07,040
Zombies.
449
00:24:07,041 --> 00:24:08,499
All up in it.
450
00:24:09,959 --> 00:24:12,458
Alright, where are we now?
451
00:24:14,834 --> 00:24:17,040
It's dark. I can't...
452
00:24:17,041 --> 00:24:19,208
really see anything
in this hallway.
453
00:24:25,709 --> 00:24:26,709
Okay.
454
00:24:28,041 --> 00:24:29,709
I see some sort of light.
455
00:24:31,333 --> 00:24:33,040
It's like a...
456
00:24:33,041 --> 00:24:34,916
A doorway.
457
00:24:34,917 --> 00:24:37,207
Boo!
458
00:24:37,208 --> 00:24:39,207
Oh, what the fuck?
459
00:24:39,208 --> 00:24:40,666
I said "hello" like ten times.
460
00:24:40,667 --> 00:24:42,207
I didn't...
I didn't hear you.
461
00:24:42,208 --> 00:24:43,833
Anyways, brought
your drive back.
462
00:24:43,834 --> 00:24:45,999
Thanks.
Whatcha playing?
463
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:48,290
"Dead Rising." Fuck!
464
00:24:48,291 --> 00:24:50,082
You fucking scared me.
465
00:24:50,083 --> 00:24:51,250
Sorry, dude.
466
00:25:14,625 --> 00:25:16,040
Garrett Hoffman?
467
00:25:16,041 --> 00:25:18,040
Yeah.
Police.
468
00:25:18,041 --> 00:25:19,958
Detective Yarden.
469
00:25:19,959 --> 00:25:21,958
And then...
470
00:25:21,959 --> 00:25:23,625
after she threw up?
471
00:25:24,709 --> 00:25:25,749
I left.
472
00:25:25,750 --> 00:25:27,082
I was home before midnight.
473
00:25:27,083 --> 00:25:30,290
Don't suppose there's anyone
who can confirm that for us?
474
00:25:30,291 --> 00:25:33,040
Yeah. Uh, the girl
that was here before.
475
00:25:33,041 --> 00:25:34,624
She was over late.
476
00:25:34,625 --> 00:25:36,666
Pink hair?
Yeah, we work together.
477
00:25:36,667 --> 00:25:38,249
Editing till around 2:00.
478
00:25:38,250 --> 00:25:40,749
She can testify to that.
We... we have edit logs,
479
00:25:40,750 --> 00:25:44,249
and you can see when we uploaded.
Alright.
480
00:25:44,250 --> 00:25:45,917
Write down her name and number.
481
00:25:48,792 --> 00:25:50,959
Looks like this was
just a botched robbery.
482
00:25:52,166 --> 00:25:53,457
But you were the last person
483
00:25:53,458 --> 00:25:55,749
seen with the victim
at the club.
484
00:25:55,750 --> 00:25:58,040
I... I didn't even know
her last name.
485
00:25:58,041 --> 00:25:59,207
Well, I hate to say it,
486
00:25:59,208 --> 00:26:01,749
but in this case,
that's a good thing.
487
00:26:01,750 --> 00:26:05,833
First person we look for
is someone who knew the victim.
488
00:26:05,834 --> 00:26:08,791
Yeah, it doesn't really feel
like a good thing.
489
00:26:08,792 --> 00:26:11,374
That's because
you're not an asshole,
490
00:26:11,375 --> 00:26:13,458
which is the second thing
that we look for.
491
00:26:20,792 --> 00:26:23,624
How many people
watch your, uh, show?
492
00:26:23,625 --> 00:26:25,374
Two million.
493
00:26:25,375 --> 00:26:27,165
That's about a million girls.
494
00:26:27,166 --> 00:26:29,499
No, I don't do that.
495
00:26:29,500 --> 00:26:30,542
Not with fans.
496
00:26:31,834 --> 00:26:33,333
Why the hell not?
497
00:27:23,542 --> 00:27:25,917
Hi, this is, um...
498
00:27:27,750 --> 00:27:29,708
FanGirl.
499
00:27:29,709 --> 00:27:31,541
Found it.
500
00:27:31,542 --> 00:27:34,999
- Got it. Found the lock.
- Great job.
501
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:37,709
One second,
one second. Hold on.
502
00:27:40,208 --> 00:27:41,624
Um...
503
00:27:41,625 --> 00:27:44,749
welcome to the casa de Lyle.
504
00:27:44,750 --> 00:27:46,541
Uh...
505
00:27:46,542 --> 00:27:48,874
One second, one second.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
506
00:27:55,250 --> 00:27:56,999
Mmm. Hey!
507
00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:58,917
Where's that, uh, killer scotch?
508
00:28:00,083 --> 00:28:01,417
Right!
509
00:28:05,750 --> 00:28:07,208
So...
510
00:28:08,917 --> 00:28:10,417
about Garrett.
511
00:28:11,417 --> 00:28:12,583
Well, fuck him.
512
00:28:14,417 --> 00:28:16,291
I thought the idea was fuck me.
513
00:28:17,625 --> 00:28:18,875
Same thing.
514
00:28:20,291 --> 00:28:21,625
Yes, it is.
515
00:28:23,500 --> 00:28:25,290
Is your bathroom clean?
Absolutely.
516
00:28:25,291 --> 00:28:26,416
Mm-hmm.
517
00:28:26,417 --> 00:28:28,416
I'm not going to, uh...
To run into anything
518
00:28:28,417 --> 00:28:30,416
we're both going
to regret, am I?
519
00:28:30,417 --> 00:28:32,499
No.
Oh.
520
00:28:32,500 --> 00:28:34,125
But hang on.
521
00:29:18,458 --> 00:29:20,207
Oh!
522
00:29:20,208 --> 00:29:21,916
Oh! No!
523
00:29:21,917 --> 00:29:23,833
No, Moose, no!
524
00:29:23,834 --> 00:29:25,499
Get off me! Get off!
525
00:29:25,500 --> 00:29:26,833
Oh!
526
00:29:26,834 --> 00:29:29,000
Die!
527
00:29:34,375 --> 00:29:37,416
Okay! Thank you for letting
us into your devices.
528
00:29:37,417 --> 00:29:39,958
For Behind the Scenes
and bloopers, click here.
529
00:29:39,959 --> 00:29:41,708
And please like, share, follow,
530
00:29:41,709 --> 00:29:43,333
and of course, subscribe.
531
00:29:46,166 --> 00:29:47,290
We good?
532
00:29:47,291 --> 00:29:48,291
Got it!
533
00:29:48,292 --> 00:29:49,708
That is a wrap.
534
00:29:51,208 --> 00:29:52,499
Catch, much?
535
00:29:52,500 --> 00:29:55,249
I... I had a rough night.
536
00:29:55,250 --> 00:29:56,874
You okay?
537
00:29:56,875 --> 00:29:59,249
Yeah, it's just... allergies.
538
00:29:59,250 --> 00:30:00,582
I'll be fine.
539
00:30:02,834 --> 00:30:03,958
You okay?
540
00:30:03,959 --> 00:30:06,000
Yeah, um...
541
00:30:07,667 --> 00:30:10,666
I'm just trying to figure out
if I screwed something up.
542
00:30:10,667 --> 00:30:12,874
Well, don't be a wuss.
543
00:30:12,875 --> 00:30:15,667
I mean, don't be an asshole,
but don't be a wuss.
544
00:30:17,333 --> 00:30:19,082
That's not really helping.
545
00:30:19,083 --> 00:30:20,208
Not really my job.
546
00:30:39,834 --> 00:30:43,165
Hey, this is Garrett Hoffman.
547
00:30:43,166 --> 00:30:45,083
Hey, this is Garrett Hoffman.
548
00:30:46,250 --> 00:30:48,208
Hey, this is Garrett Hoffman.
549
00:30:49,250 --> 00:30:51,291
Hey, this is Garrett Hoffman.
550
00:30:52,333 --> 00:30:53,583
Hey, this is...
551
00:30:59,125 --> 00:31:00,291
Hey there, you.
552
00:31:01,417 --> 00:31:03,290
Hey.
553
00:31:03,291 --> 00:31:05,416
Uh, your text yesterday.
554
00:31:05,417 --> 00:31:08,165
I'm sorry. There was
some stuff going on.
555
00:31:08,166 --> 00:31:10,290
Are you okay?
556
00:31:10,291 --> 00:31:11,582
Yeah.
557
00:31:11,583 --> 00:31:13,082
No, it's just...
558
00:31:13,083 --> 00:31:14,874
What is it?
559
00:31:14,875 --> 00:31:18,290
I met this girl, and...
560
00:31:18,291 --> 00:31:21,500
And she died. Uh, she was
killed in, like, a robbery.
561
00:31:26,458 --> 00:31:27,666
Were you close?
562
00:31:27,667 --> 00:31:29,499
No, I was just
at this club for Lyle,
563
00:31:29,500 --> 00:31:31,499
and she was drunk,
so I took her home,
564
00:31:31,500 --> 00:31:33,874
you know, because
she couldn't drive.
565
00:31:33,875 --> 00:31:35,125
And then...
566
00:31:36,458 --> 00:31:38,624
It's just so insane.
It's like being on the corner
567
00:31:38,625 --> 00:31:39,958
and seeing somebody
get hit by a bus.
568
00:31:39,959 --> 00:31:42,416
It was just this random...
569
00:31:42,417 --> 00:31:44,416
I'm so sorry.
570
00:31:44,417 --> 00:31:46,207
No, it's... it's okay.
571
00:31:46,208 --> 00:31:48,457
It was like
a wake-up call.
572
00:31:48,458 --> 00:31:49,458
You know?
573
00:31:49,459 --> 00:31:50,958
I just wanted to call you
and let you know
574
00:31:50,959 --> 00:31:53,416
that I wasn't blowing you off.
575
00:31:53,417 --> 00:31:55,792
Uh, I have been thinking
about what happened with us.
576
00:31:57,083 --> 00:31:58,249
Me too.
577
00:31:58,250 --> 00:31:59,499
I was really freaked out.
578
00:31:59,500 --> 00:32:01,499
And maybe I overreacted,
579
00:32:01,500 --> 00:32:03,375
or I'm not being fair.
580
00:32:04,375 --> 00:32:06,000
I don't know. I just...
581
00:32:07,166 --> 00:32:08,667
So, what do we do?
582
00:32:09,625 --> 00:32:11,375
Maybe we try again.
583
00:32:12,959 --> 00:32:14,291
And take it slow.
584
00:32:15,583 --> 00:32:16,709
I'd like that.
585
00:32:24,166 --> 00:32:27,749
Uh, listen, I gotta go,
but I'll call you later, okay?
586
00:32:27,750 --> 00:32:29,208
I'm here.
587
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:39,249
Hi.
588
00:32:39,250 --> 00:32:40,791
We love your videos.
We love your videos.
589
00:32:40,792 --> 00:32:42,791
Thank you. Thanks.
590
00:32:42,792 --> 00:32:44,499
You wanna do...
591
00:32:59,625 --> 00:33:01,083
I'm here.
592
00:34:36,542 --> 00:34:38,457
This is Garrett Hoffman.
593
00:34:38,458 --> 00:34:41,291
This is Garrett Hoffman.
594
00:34:42,333 --> 00:34:44,417
This is Garrett Hoffman.
595
00:34:45,291 --> 00:34:47,834
This is Garrett Hoffman.
596
00:34:48,834 --> 00:34:50,375
This is Garrett Hoffman.
597
00:34:51,834 --> 00:34:53,458
This is Garrett Hoffman.
598
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:56,625
This is Garrett Hoffman.
599
00:34:57,750 --> 00:34:59,709
This is Garrett Hoffman.
600
00:35:00,875 --> 00:35:02,542
This is Garrett Hoffman.
601
00:35:03,750 --> 00:35:05,667
This is Garrett Hoffman.
602
00:35:07,041 --> 00:35:08,792
This is Garrett Hoffman.
603
00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:11,709
This is Garrett Hoffman.
604
00:35:12,917 --> 00:35:14,667
This is Garrett Hoffman.
605
00:35:15,834 --> 00:35:17,625
This is Garrett Hoffman.
606
00:35:29,375 --> 00:35:31,083
I let it go to voicemail.
607
00:35:33,041 --> 00:35:34,583
I'm wet.
608
00:35:40,375 --> 00:35:41,750
Garrett?
609
00:35:55,333 --> 00:35:56,375
What the fuck?
610
00:35:57,667 --> 00:35:59,207
Shh, it's okay.
611
00:35:59,208 --> 00:36:00,499
No, no, no. It's not okay!
612
00:36:00,500 --> 00:36:01,874
Hey.
613
00:36:01,875 --> 00:36:03,499
You called me.
614
00:36:03,500 --> 00:36:05,040
What?
615
00:36:05,041 --> 00:36:07,708
You called me. You said
you wanted to try again.
616
00:36:07,709 --> 00:36:10,332
I... yeah! Like coffee.
617
00:36:10,333 --> 00:36:12,625
Come on, Garrett.
We're way beyond coff...
618
00:36:14,917 --> 00:36:16,709
How the hell did you
even get in here?
619
00:36:17,750 --> 00:36:20,874
Okay, fine. Forget it!
620
00:36:20,875 --> 00:36:22,541
Wait, what? You're mad?
621
00:36:22,542 --> 00:36:24,749
I am giving you everything,
622
00:36:24,750 --> 00:36:26,916
and you are giving me nothing.
623
00:36:26,917 --> 00:36:28,958
You're playing fucking
mind games, Garrett!
624
00:36:28,959 --> 00:36:30,124
You know what? Fuck you!
625
00:36:30,125 --> 00:36:31,541
I deserve better.
Nuh-uh.
626
00:36:31,542 --> 00:36:33,332
I'm not playing
mind games, Michelle.
627
00:36:33,333 --> 00:36:34,499
Shell!
Shell. Fuck.
628
00:36:34,500 --> 00:36:37,582
I'm fucking confused.
No shit.
629
00:36:37,583 --> 00:36:38,624
Could you just wait a second?
630
00:36:38,625 --> 00:36:41,124
No, fuck you!
You're a fucking sociopath!
631
00:36:41,125 --> 00:36:44,082
Y-y-you're selfish,
and you... you use people!
632
00:36:44,083 --> 00:36:45,958
You use everybody!
633
00:36:45,959 --> 00:36:47,917
I gave up everything for you!
634
00:36:49,250 --> 00:36:50,416
Who asked you to?
635
00:36:50,417 --> 00:36:52,040
Oh my God!
636
00:36:52,041 --> 00:36:53,290
Whoa. Whoa!
637
00:36:56,792 --> 00:36:57,999
Oh my...
638
00:36:58,000 --> 00:37:00,165
Jesus, Garrett.
I didn't do that.
639
00:37:00,166 --> 00:37:02,124
God!
I swear I did not do that.
640
00:37:02,125 --> 00:37:03,958
I'm sorry.
No, it's okay, it's okay.
641
00:37:03,959 --> 00:37:05,749
Let me see, let me see.
I'm sorry.
642
00:37:05,750 --> 00:37:07,416
Sorry.
Shit.
643
00:37:11,291 --> 00:37:13,082
I'm getting blood on everything.
644
00:37:13,083 --> 00:37:14,958
No, no, no.
It's okay, it's okay.
645
00:37:14,959 --> 00:37:17,499
Yeah, I think we need
to get you to a doctor though.
646
00:37:17,500 --> 00:37:19,708
No, no. We can just
wrap it up. It's fine.
647
00:37:19,709 --> 00:37:21,624
You're gonna need stitches.
It's fine.
648
00:37:21,625 --> 00:37:24,207
Shell...
I can't.
649
00:37:24,208 --> 00:37:26,916
They'll ask me how it happened
and who did this to me,
650
00:37:26,917 --> 00:37:29,667
and I am bad at lying, Garrett.
651
00:37:32,875 --> 00:37:34,500
Just help me get home.
652
00:38:01,458 --> 00:38:03,666
I feel so stupid.
653
00:38:03,667 --> 00:38:05,833
No, it was an accident.
654
00:38:05,834 --> 00:38:07,874
The... no, the whole thing...
655
00:38:07,875 --> 00:38:10,499
Moving here, finding you.
656
00:38:10,500 --> 00:38:14,457
You need help going back?
Like, expenses or anything?
657
00:38:14,458 --> 00:38:16,333
No, thank you.
658
00:38:18,458 --> 00:38:19,875
I love you.
659
00:38:21,250 --> 00:38:22,374
Okay.
660
00:38:22,375 --> 00:38:23,499
I... I mean, I get it.
661
00:38:23,500 --> 00:38:25,499
I wasn't talking about
anything happening.
662
00:38:25,500 --> 00:38:26,875
I was just, you know...
663
00:38:27,917 --> 00:38:29,542
expressing a feeling.
664
00:38:31,667 --> 00:38:33,041
You're a good guy, and...
665
00:38:34,917 --> 00:38:36,417
I'm gonna be okay.
666
00:38:37,542 --> 00:38:39,083
Yeah.
667
00:38:43,125 --> 00:38:44,542
Do you know what I need?
668
00:38:46,375 --> 00:38:47,875
An ice cream soda.
669
00:38:49,458 --> 00:38:50,542
Do you want one?
670
00:38:52,417 --> 00:38:54,667
Just a parting ice cream soda.
671
00:38:57,417 --> 00:38:59,083
Yeah. Yeah, sounds good.
672
00:39:47,625 --> 00:39:50,040
You slept with a girl
that you met on the Internet.
673
00:39:50,041 --> 00:39:52,833
You don't want to sleep with
her anymore, so she's pissed.
674
00:39:52,834 --> 00:39:55,165
No, no, no.
This is like a stalker.
675
00:39:55,166 --> 00:39:57,207
Okay? I'm famous.
676
00:39:57,208 --> 00:39:59,207
Has she threatened you?
677
00:39:59,208 --> 00:40:01,959
Yeah. Yeah, she told me
she'll never stop loving me.
678
00:40:02,959 --> 00:40:05,791
Has she threatened you
with anything bad?
679
00:40:05,792 --> 00:40:07,958
No.
Alright, look.
680
00:40:07,959 --> 00:40:11,791
Son, with all due
respect to your fame,
681
00:40:11,792 --> 00:40:14,040
this is more or less
a domestic situation.
682
00:40:14,041 --> 00:40:16,541
Okay, yes, but...
Well, we hate those.
683
00:40:16,542 --> 00:40:17,624
It's all he-said, she-said,
684
00:40:17,625 --> 00:40:19,874
and then someone
recants in the next day.
685
00:40:19,875 --> 00:40:22,082
Alright, well if she drugged
me, is that not a crime?
686
00:40:22,083 --> 00:40:23,749
Absolutely.
Then do a blood test.
687
00:40:23,750 --> 00:40:25,374
It only proves that
you took a drug,
688
00:40:25,375 --> 00:40:26,457
not that she gave it to you.
689
00:40:26,458 --> 00:40:28,290
Well, then, what about
a restraining order?
690
00:40:28,291 --> 00:40:30,165
On what grounds?
691
00:40:30,166 --> 00:40:31,791
Well, she broke into my house.
692
00:40:31,792 --> 00:40:33,332
He said.
693
00:40:33,333 --> 00:40:35,374
She said,
"He invited me in."
694
00:40:35,375 --> 00:40:36,875
Oh, God.
695
00:40:38,709 --> 00:40:39,958
We had this girl,
696
00:40:39,959 --> 00:40:41,999
very bright,
697
00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:43,457
putting herself
through medical school
698
00:40:43,458 --> 00:40:45,374
working at a lap dance joint.
699
00:40:45,375 --> 00:40:46,708
She gets this customer
700
00:40:46,709 --> 00:40:50,124
who has a bad sense
of boundaries.
701
00:40:50,125 --> 00:40:51,374
This is a very determined girl,
702
00:40:51,375 --> 00:40:54,499
and she's not gonna let
some loser derail her dreams.
703
00:40:54,500 --> 00:40:57,791
So, one night when
she sees him in the parking lot
704
00:40:57,792 --> 00:40:59,499
waiting for her after work,
705
00:40:59,500 --> 00:41:03,040
I'll bet that the last thing
that went through her head...
706
00:41:03,041 --> 00:41:04,874
I mean before the bullet...
707
00:41:04,875 --> 00:41:07,750
Was "No, I have
a restraining order."
708
00:41:08,834 --> 00:41:10,250
Don't fuel the fire.
709
00:41:11,208 --> 00:41:13,165
Don't communicate.
710
00:41:13,166 --> 00:41:16,207
Don't go where you might
run into each other.
711
00:41:16,208 --> 00:41:18,582
We run into each other
on the Internet.
712
00:41:18,583 --> 00:41:22,249
Well, maybe you should take
a couple months off of that.
713
00:41:22,250 --> 00:41:24,917
A couple of months? It'll
be there when you get back.
714
00:43:28,834 --> 00:43:30,582
Man, just got trashed.
715
00:43:30,583 --> 00:43:31,791
Uh, I'm in a lake of ooze here.
716
00:43:31,792 --> 00:43:33,207
Is somebody gonna
come heal me please?
717
00:43:33,208 --> 00:43:34,624
What was that?
718
00:43:34,625 --> 00:43:36,582
That was like a giant worm at
the end of the tunnel. Mom!
719
00:43:36,583 --> 00:43:38,708
- I'm playing a game!
- The game can wait.
720
00:43:38,709 --> 00:43:40,165
Please tell Jerry
to take out the trash.
721
00:43:40,166 --> 00:43:41,166
Jerry did it yesterday.
722
00:43:41,167 --> 00:43:43,499
Fine, fine, fine. Sorry, guys.
723
00:43:43,500 --> 00:43:45,082
I'm out. I'm out.
724
00:43:45,083 --> 00:43:47,165
Bye, Brute.
Later, Brute.
725
00:43:47,166 --> 00:43:49,833
Welcome RealGirl.
Maybe we can cheer you up.
726
00:43:49,834 --> 00:43:52,541
Petunia's in some trouble
on her quest over by the...
727
00:43:52,542 --> 00:43:55,290
Garrett, you can't keep
shutting me out.
728
00:43:55,291 --> 00:43:57,457
We made love, and...
And you were inside me,
729
00:43:57,458 --> 00:43:59,000
and I know you felt it too.
730
00:43:59,959 --> 00:44:01,499
What the fuck was that?
731
00:44:01,500 --> 00:44:03,332
That was sudden.
732
00:44:03,333 --> 00:44:05,207
You okay, Garrett?
733
00:44:05,208 --> 00:44:07,207
Uh...
734
00:44:07,208 --> 00:44:08,499
I'm sorry. I, uh...
735
00:44:08,500 --> 00:44:10,749
I gotta cut it short tonight,
Headlights. I gotta go.
736
00:44:17,083 --> 00:44:18,500
Fuck!
737
00:44:20,250 --> 00:44:22,040
Um...
738
00:44:22,041 --> 00:44:23,582
this is a public video
739
00:44:23,583 --> 00:44:25,041
for Garrett Hoffman.
740
00:44:27,875 --> 00:44:29,583
I didn't want to do this, but...
741
00:44:30,583 --> 00:44:32,417
you won't talk to me.
742
00:44:34,458 --> 00:44:38,250
It feels like my heart
has been ripped out of my body.
743
00:44:42,417 --> 00:44:45,542
We both made mistakes,
so please, please...
744
00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:48,624
I'm sorry I upset you.
745
00:44:48,625 --> 00:44:51,582
I'm begging you,
let's just try again.
746
00:44:54,333 --> 00:44:55,749
I'm begging you...
747
00:44:55,750 --> 00:44:57,874
let's just try again.
748
00:44:57,875 --> 00:45:00,582
My heart has
been ripped right out of my body.
749
00:45:00,583 --> 00:45:02,916
Oh God! oh!
750
00:45:02,917 --> 00:45:04,416
It has!
751
00:45:04,417 --> 00:45:06,666
It causes friction between
me and my girlfriend.
752
00:45:06,667 --> 00:45:08,791
Then she gets involved
in a... "Friction."
753
00:45:08,792 --> 00:45:11,374
Then she gets involved in a
threesome with my girl and I.
754
00:45:11,375 --> 00:45:13,958
Why haven't you stalked me?
755
00:45:13,959 --> 00:45:15,541
Why, Shell? What?
756
00:45:15,542 --> 00:45:16,999
Watching this video
757
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:18,290
was just cringe-worthy.
758
00:45:18,291 --> 00:45:20,249
No wonder this guy's
not calling you back, girl.
759
00:45:20,250 --> 00:45:21,499
You be crazy.
760
00:45:21,500 --> 00:45:23,582
I didn't want to do this,
but you won't talk to me.
761
00:45:23,583 --> 00:45:24,958
Oh my God, oh my God.
762
00:45:24,959 --> 00:45:27,874
It feels like my heart
has been ripped out of my body.
763
00:45:27,875 --> 00:45:30,833
Sword. Sword is not working.
Axe! Axe is not working.
764
00:45:30,834 --> 00:45:33,082
We both made mistakes.
I'm sorry I upset you.
765
00:45:33,083 --> 00:45:34,791
Okay, just gonna get
the big ol' bazooka.
766
00:45:34,792 --> 00:45:37,124
Let's just try again.
Ah! I'm out of ammo!
767
00:45:37,125 --> 00:45:38,749
This game is torture.
768
00:45:38,750 --> 00:45:41,207
Maybe we just have
more feelings than other people.
769
00:45:41,208 --> 00:45:42,624
You know,
I've always been like that.
770
00:45:42,625 --> 00:45:44,124
Everything is...
Is more intense.
771
00:45:44,125 --> 00:45:46,666
I understand.
772
00:45:46,667 --> 00:45:48,708
You can have...
773
00:45:48,709 --> 00:45:51,624
anybody you want, and...
And why give that up?
774
00:45:51,625 --> 00:45:55,416
Because having everything
is like having nothing, Garrett.
775
00:45:55,417 --> 00:45:57,207
What defines you?
776
00:45:57,208 --> 00:45:58,332
Your choices.
777
00:45:58,333 --> 00:45:59,958
Who are you, Garrett?
778
00:45:59,959 --> 00:46:03,582
There's this Garrett that people
see, and that's not you, is it?
779
00:46:03,583 --> 00:46:06,999
You know how hard it is
to see you here every day?
780
00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:10,040
I... I can't move on,
781
00:46:10,041 --> 00:46:12,499
because you won't
let me, Garrett.
782
00:46:12,500 --> 00:46:13,624
You said like you.
783
00:46:13,625 --> 00:46:15,916
You said to share
and follow you.
784
00:46:15,917 --> 00:46:17,457
You fucking lied.
785
00:46:23,125 --> 00:46:24,332
Look, Miss.
786
00:46:24,333 --> 00:46:26,124
What you need
to understand is that
787
00:46:26,125 --> 00:46:28,040
he does not see what happened
788
00:46:28,041 --> 00:46:29,958
in the same way that you do.
789
00:46:29,959 --> 00:46:31,625
But he told me to move here.
790
00:46:33,125 --> 00:46:34,207
I beg your pardon?
791
00:46:34,208 --> 00:46:37,165
Well, he, like, practically
begged me for months.
792
00:46:37,166 --> 00:46:41,250
Look, what you may have misinterpreted
as his... No, no, look for yourself.
793
00:46:49,792 --> 00:46:51,457
These are your emails, correct?
794
00:46:51,458 --> 00:46:52,791
That you sent?
795
00:46:52,792 --> 00:46:55,290
Six months ago?
Eight months ago?
796
00:46:55,291 --> 00:46:57,749
Asking her to move here
because you love her.
797
00:46:57,750 --> 00:46:58,999
No, no, no.
She messed with it.
798
00:46:59,000 --> 00:47:00,541
I... I did not write these.
799
00:47:00,542 --> 00:47:02,165
She was here, I told you that.
800
00:47:02,166 --> 00:47:03,791
Kid, you remember
when I told you
801
00:47:03,792 --> 00:47:06,332
about why we hate
domestic situations?
802
00:47:06,333 --> 00:47:08,708
I swear to God, this is
not "he said, she said."
803
00:47:08,709 --> 00:47:09,791
This... this is "he said,"
804
00:47:09,792 --> 00:47:11,457
and then "she broke
into his fucking house
805
00:47:11,458 --> 00:47:14,374
and is fucking with his life because
she's a fucking psychotic stalker."
806
00:47:14,375 --> 00:47:15,833
You expect me to believe that
807
00:47:15,834 --> 00:47:17,165
she got into your email account
808
00:47:17,166 --> 00:47:18,207
somehow and wrote all these?
809
00:47:18,208 --> 00:47:20,374
She backdated your emails?
810
00:47:20,375 --> 00:47:21,582
Come on!
811
00:47:21,583 --> 00:47:23,416
I'll take a lie detector test.
812
00:47:23,417 --> 00:47:25,416
There's gotta be some
kinda forensic way
813
00:47:25,417 --> 00:47:26,582
that you can check when these
814
00:47:26,583 --> 00:47:28,041
were actually written, right?
815
00:47:29,709 --> 00:47:31,874
Alright, I will look into it.
816
00:47:31,875 --> 00:47:35,750
In the meantime,
stay away from this girl.
817
00:47:37,458 --> 00:47:38,999
Okay.
818
00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:41,791
But you do understand
the irony of that, right?
819
00:47:41,792 --> 00:47:43,250
Fuck your irony.
820
00:47:44,375 --> 00:47:45,833
Stay put.
821
00:47:55,333 --> 00:47:57,291
He loves me.
822
00:47:59,083 --> 00:48:00,291
We're lovers.
823
00:48:01,458 --> 00:48:02,959
Jesus.
824
00:48:12,458 --> 00:48:13,833
It's gone viral.
825
00:48:13,834 --> 00:48:15,791
Every time I get it
taken down in one place,
826
00:48:15,792 --> 00:48:17,333
it pops up in five more.
827
00:48:18,792 --> 00:48:20,749
We got fan art already.
828
00:48:20,750 --> 00:48:21,999
And remixes.
829
00:48:25,875 --> 00:48:28,040
Channel views way up,
830
00:48:28,041 --> 00:48:30,417
likes way up, subscribes...
831
00:48:32,458 --> 00:48:33,916
Garrett.
832
00:48:33,917 --> 00:48:36,374
It's just this thing you do.
833
00:48:36,375 --> 00:48:37,625
You can walk away.
834
00:48:40,500 --> 00:48:42,625
I connected with
two million people.
835
00:48:43,834 --> 00:48:45,875
I can't just let one
of them destroy that.
836
00:48:46,917 --> 00:48:48,332
No.
837
00:48:48,333 --> 00:48:50,374
Then I'm out.
838
00:48:50,375 --> 00:48:51,500
I can't enable this.
839
00:48:52,542 --> 00:48:53,999
Overreact much?
840
00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:55,333
Shut up, Lyle!
841
00:48:57,667 --> 00:49:00,333
You have to do
what you have to do.
842
00:49:14,083 --> 00:49:16,333
This is so fucked up.
843
00:49:17,375 --> 00:49:19,040
Lyle, can you give me
some space?
844
00:49:19,041 --> 00:49:20,792
Please?
845
00:49:23,542 --> 00:49:24,917
Can you go?
Okay.
846
00:49:38,166 --> 00:49:39,666
Hey.
847
00:49:39,667 --> 00:49:41,040
This is Garrett Hoffman.
848
00:49:41,041 --> 00:49:42,874
As I think you all know by now,
849
00:49:42,875 --> 00:49:44,499
I hooked up with FanGirl,
850
00:49:44,500 --> 00:49:47,207
and it went really badly.
851
00:49:47,208 --> 00:49:48,541
You know, my first instinct is
852
00:49:48,542 --> 00:49:50,958
that this is none of
anybody's fucking business.
853
00:49:50,959 --> 00:49:52,708
Except it is.
854
00:49:52,709 --> 00:49:54,666
You know, I put my life online,
855
00:49:54,667 --> 00:49:56,249
I ask you guys to share.
856
00:49:56,250 --> 00:49:59,332
So, I'm not gonna give up
on what we're doing here,
857
00:49:59,333 --> 00:50:02,916
and I really hope that
you guys don't give up on me.
858
00:50:02,917 --> 00:50:07,249
But I am asking you
to stop making fun of FanGirl.
859
00:50:07,250 --> 00:50:09,916
I believe that this girl
is mentally ill.
860
00:50:09,917 --> 00:50:12,374
This is a damaged person,
and she needs medication,
861
00:50:12,375 --> 00:50:14,708
and I do not mean
that, like, funny.
862
00:50:14,709 --> 00:50:16,082
It's real.
863
00:50:16,083 --> 00:50:17,582
She needs help.
864
00:50:17,583 --> 00:50:20,750
So please...
please lay off.
865
00:50:22,041 --> 00:50:24,833
I believe that this girl
is mentally ill.
866
00:50:24,834 --> 00:50:26,914
This is a damaged person and
she...
867
00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:30,958
I believe that this girl
is mentally ill.
868
00:50:30,959 --> 00:50:32,541
This is a damaged person,
and she...
869
00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:36,249
I believe that this girl
is mentally ill.
870
00:52:49,667 --> 00:52:50,750
Hello?
871
00:52:54,583 --> 00:52:55,833
Jesus.
872
00:53:22,417 --> 00:53:24,458
I might cash that check now.
873
00:53:26,625 --> 00:53:28,083
I'm so sorry.
874
00:53:29,458 --> 00:53:32,333
I didn't... I didn't think
that this could get to you.
875
00:53:34,500 --> 00:53:35,959
What are you talking about?
876
00:53:39,792 --> 00:53:41,582
I'm having a thing...
877
00:53:41,583 --> 00:53:42,959
with a fan. She's...
878
00:53:44,083 --> 00:53:45,750
She's disturbed.
879
00:53:47,417 --> 00:53:51,374
And you think this fan, she...
880
00:53:51,375 --> 00:53:54,332
Wait, wait. How would
she even know that
881
00:53:54,333 --> 00:53:56,290
you father owns a bookstore?
882
00:53:56,291 --> 00:53:57,791
They know everything about me.
883
00:53:57,792 --> 00:53:59,625
Brave new world, Dad.
884
00:54:06,583 --> 00:54:08,834
You know where that's from?
885
00:54:10,000 --> 00:54:11,417
"The Tempest."
886
00:54:12,667 --> 00:54:16,000
"A brave new world
that has such people in it."
887
00:54:19,166 --> 00:54:21,125
I'll take care of this.
I'll stop it.
888
00:54:54,208 --> 00:54:55,667
Shell.
889
00:54:57,959 --> 00:54:59,208
Shell, open up!
890
00:55:03,709 --> 00:55:05,417
Shell, open the fucking door!
891
00:55:50,959 --> 00:55:52,625
You posted the ad?
892
00:56:51,458 --> 00:56:52,458
Hey!
893
00:56:54,041 --> 00:56:55,333
You're dead.
894
00:56:56,750 --> 00:56:59,040
You scared the shit out of me.
Yeah, that was the idea.
895
00:56:59,041 --> 00:57:01,165
Did you get my messages?
Have you been getting mine?
896
00:57:01,166 --> 00:57:02,833
She's gone.
I went to her place.
897
00:57:02,834 --> 00:57:04,457
You broke into her motel room.
898
00:57:04,458 --> 00:57:07,290
Are you serious? She burns down my
father's store and I'm in trouble?
899
00:57:07,291 --> 00:57:09,124
Yeah, you are in trouble.
900
00:57:09,125 --> 00:57:10,332
Are you ready to listen?
901
00:57:10,333 --> 00:57:12,290
Because I've been looking
into your girlfriend
902
00:57:12,291 --> 00:57:13,416
as best I could.
903
00:57:13,417 --> 00:57:15,290
She was a minor,
so the records are sealed.
904
00:57:15,291 --> 00:57:19,290
But there was a fire at the home
of a girl that she didn't like,
905
00:57:19,291 --> 00:57:22,457
and a hit and run against
a boy who broke up with her.
906
00:57:22,458 --> 00:57:23,666
No proof.
907
00:57:23,667 --> 00:57:26,249
Parents put her into a private
psych ward for a while.
908
00:57:26,250 --> 00:57:28,708
Everybody looked the other way.
909
00:57:28,709 --> 00:57:30,124
But that girl at the bar?
910
00:57:31,959 --> 00:57:33,375
The one we thought
was a robbery?
911
00:57:38,792 --> 00:57:40,290
Jesus.
Mm-hmm.
912
00:57:40,291 --> 00:57:42,916
Or the mailbox shop
where you met her.
913
00:57:42,917 --> 00:57:44,958
A woman works there six years,
914
00:57:44,959 --> 00:57:46,749
never misses a day,
then all of a sudden,
915
00:57:46,750 --> 00:57:48,709
she vanishes and a job opens up.
916
00:57:50,125 --> 00:57:52,290
You see this?
You can go online.
917
00:57:52,291 --> 00:57:56,082
Find instructions on how to make
one of these out of a coat hanger.
918
00:57:56,083 --> 00:57:58,207
If that girl really is gone,
919
00:57:58,208 --> 00:57:59,624
count yourself lucky.
920
00:57:59,625 --> 00:58:01,999
And if she comes back, run.
921
00:58:02,000 --> 00:58:04,624
Grow a beard, change your name.
922
00:58:04,625 --> 00:58:05,666
She is bright.
923
00:58:05,667 --> 00:58:08,208
You will not see it coming.
924
00:58:25,083 --> 00:58:27,249
I... I need help.
Somebody's been shot.
925
00:58:27,250 --> 00:58:28,457
A police officer!
926
00:58:28,458 --> 00:58:31,416
He was sh...
Shot with an arrow.
927
00:58:31,417 --> 00:58:32,999
Yes, yes! An arrow.
928
00:58:33,000 --> 00:58:34,000
It was a crossbow.
929
00:58:34,001 --> 00:58:35,917
It was set up...
in the door.
930
00:58:37,458 --> 00:58:39,958
Please hurry.
931
00:58:53,083 --> 00:58:54,959
Hey, Garrett. How
are you holding up?
932
00:59:01,166 --> 00:59:03,416
Got some things
you need to sign.
933
00:59:03,417 --> 00:59:06,999
That's an evidence inventory
for your computers...
934
00:59:07,000 --> 00:59:08,874
and the damages waiver.
935
00:59:08,875 --> 00:59:10,457
You keep the pink one.
936
00:59:10,458 --> 00:59:15,207
And here is a list of places
that do crime scene clean up
937
00:59:15,208 --> 00:59:16,333
and some counseling.
938
00:59:17,375 --> 00:59:19,541
You should talk to someone...
939
00:59:19,542 --> 00:59:21,291
even if you think you're fine.
940
00:59:23,250 --> 00:59:24,458
I don't think I'm fine.
941
00:59:26,083 --> 00:59:29,082
Uh-huh. Good. Okay.
942
00:59:29,083 --> 00:59:31,749
Now you're sure
that nobody knows
943
00:59:31,750 --> 00:59:33,290
that you go to this place?
944
00:59:33,291 --> 00:59:35,124
I don't go there.
945
00:59:35,125 --> 00:59:37,165
It's, um... it's my
friend's uncle's place.
946
00:59:37,166 --> 00:59:38,416
We went there once to visit
947
00:59:38,417 --> 00:59:40,416
in the 10th grade
with their family.
948
00:59:40,417 --> 00:59:41,958
The road's barely on a map.
949
00:59:41,959 --> 00:59:43,834
It's out in the middle
of nowhere.
950
00:59:44,917 --> 00:59:47,333
He's... he's an artist.
951
00:59:48,500 --> 00:59:50,332
Alright, even still.
952
00:59:50,333 --> 00:59:52,040
Keep your head down.
953
00:59:52,041 --> 00:59:53,207
She won't last long.
954
00:59:53,208 --> 00:59:55,332
She messed up.
She has nowhere to go.
955
00:59:55,333 --> 00:59:58,499
We got a reward out, a tip line.
956
00:59:58,500 --> 01:00:00,833
And the media
cluster-fuck on this
957
01:00:00,834 --> 01:00:02,124
is actually gonna help.
958
01:00:02,125 --> 01:00:04,624
We will find her.
959
01:00:04,625 --> 01:00:06,791
And we'll get you
your life back.
960
01:00:06,792 --> 01:00:08,000
Hmm?
961
01:00:11,166 --> 01:00:12,375
Keep it.
962
01:00:29,083 --> 01:00:30,333
Hey.
963
01:00:31,750 --> 01:00:32,917
Hey.
964
01:00:34,083 --> 01:00:35,416
Are you sure about this?
965
01:00:35,417 --> 01:00:37,791
I... I can't go home.
966
01:00:37,792 --> 01:00:39,457
Come stay with us.
967
01:00:39,458 --> 01:00:41,165
Raylene won't mind.
968
01:00:41,166 --> 01:00:42,709
Puts you in danger.
969
01:00:54,542 --> 01:00:55,916
You know what I love about you?
970
01:00:55,917 --> 01:00:57,749
Don't fuck our shit up now.
971
01:00:57,750 --> 01:00:59,333
You haven't said,
"I told you so."
972
01:01:01,041 --> 01:01:02,750
No fun if I say it.
973
01:01:06,083 --> 01:01:07,207
Go.
974
01:01:29,709 --> 01:01:31,749
How much for a room?
975
01:01:31,750 --> 01:01:33,417
Uh, $63.97.
976
01:01:35,417 --> 01:01:36,874
Um, can I see your license?
977
01:01:36,875 --> 01:01:38,417
Oh.
978
01:01:39,750 --> 01:01:42,249
Oh my God, I left it in the car.
979
01:01:42,250 --> 01:01:43,582
Oh, no.
980
01:01:43,583 --> 01:01:45,374
Yeah.
981
01:01:45,375 --> 01:01:47,958
Can I show it to you later?
982
01:01:47,959 --> 01:01:49,749
Yeah, yeah. Sure. Sure.
983
01:01:49,750 --> 01:01:50,750
Thank you.
984
01:01:50,751 --> 01:01:52,541
Yeah.
Thank you so much.
985
01:02:22,875 --> 01:02:25,124
A national manhunt is underway
986
01:02:25,125 --> 01:02:28,624
prompted by the murder of a
police detective here in Fresno.
987
01:02:28,625 --> 01:02:30,791
It seems to have started
with viral videos,
988
01:02:30,792 --> 01:02:34,791
but has blown up into tragic,
real world consequences.
989
01:02:34,792 --> 01:02:35,833
Detect...
990
01:04:04,083 --> 01:04:06,249
Okay, so...
991
01:04:06,250 --> 01:04:07,374
no one knows we're here.
992
01:04:07,375 --> 01:04:08,917
No one can hear us scream.
993
01:04:11,083 --> 01:04:12,750
Okay, great. Thank you.
994
01:04:23,959 --> 01:04:25,583
Oh. Yes.
995
01:04:26,667 --> 01:04:27,874
Security system.
996
01:05:01,250 --> 01:05:02,291
Okay, go!
997
01:05:04,291 --> 01:05:06,124
Yes!
998
01:05:08,417 --> 01:05:11,082
I mean it. I really can't
believe you're all out there
999
01:05:11,083 --> 01:05:12,624
carrying my head
around in your pockets,
1000
01:05:12,625 --> 01:05:14,541
and checking in
with my head in your desks.
1001
01:05:14,542 --> 01:05:15,958
It's... it's crazy.
1002
01:05:15,959 --> 01:05:17,290
But you have changed my life,
1003
01:05:17,291 --> 01:05:18,959
and you have made
my dreams come true.
1004
01:05:19,875 --> 01:05:21,791
And I love you guys.
1005
01:05:21,792 --> 01:05:24,999
I really do.
I really do.
1006
01:05:25,000 --> 01:05:26,332
Like a lot.
1007
01:05:56,834 --> 01:05:58,958
Hey, so Uncle Ray's
cable account.
1008
01:05:58,959 --> 01:06:00,666
It's his ISP.
1009
01:06:00,667 --> 01:06:02,541
We don't have to log in
to anything.
1010
01:06:02,542 --> 01:06:04,541
No one'll know it's us.
1011
01:06:04,542 --> 01:06:07,791
We could just be on
the Internet as civilians.
1012
01:06:07,792 --> 01:06:10,124
This isn't just about
hiding out, Lyle.
1013
01:06:10,125 --> 01:06:12,999
You know, I...
I have to figure out who I am.
1014
01:06:13,000 --> 01:06:14,582
Offline.
1015
01:06:14,583 --> 01:06:17,541
Every day, every day,
this is all I've done.
1016
01:06:17,542 --> 01:06:21,332
I just need some kind of time...
1017
01:06:21,333 --> 01:06:22,750
to myself.
1018
01:06:27,709 --> 01:06:29,041
Okay.
1019
01:06:30,291 --> 01:06:33,499
If we're gonna do this
whole self-reflective,
1020
01:06:33,500 --> 01:06:36,791
cleansing sweat lodge thing...
1021
01:06:36,792 --> 01:06:39,750
there's something
I have not entirely told you.
1022
01:06:43,208 --> 01:06:44,875
I went out with her.
1023
01:06:46,750 --> 01:06:48,083
With who?
1024
01:06:54,083 --> 01:06:55,582
She called me,
1025
01:06:55,583 --> 01:06:57,165
and, um...
1026
01:06:57,166 --> 01:07:00,291
we got together.
I think.
1027
01:07:01,625 --> 01:07:02,666
It's all kind of fuzzy.
1028
01:07:02,667 --> 01:07:04,250
There was a lot
of drinking involved.
1029
01:07:06,250 --> 01:07:07,250
Oh.
1030
01:07:08,458 --> 01:07:11,709
Thing is, I think that's
how she got your keys.
1031
01:07:14,625 --> 01:07:16,124
Okay.
1032
01:07:16,125 --> 01:07:17,583
That's not your fault.
1033
01:07:18,583 --> 01:07:20,416
No.
1034
01:07:20,417 --> 01:07:21,917
No, it's not.
1035
01:07:27,375 --> 01:07:29,791
But I was jealous.
1036
01:07:29,792 --> 01:07:31,541
Ever since we were
nine years old,
1037
01:07:31,542 --> 01:07:32,959
we were a team.
1038
01:07:34,291 --> 01:07:37,083
In it together,
and now we're not.
1039
01:07:40,250 --> 01:07:42,749
So what was I supposed to do?
1040
01:07:42,750 --> 01:07:43,791
Stop?
1041
01:07:43,792 --> 01:07:45,125
No.
1042
01:07:46,333 --> 01:07:48,124
No, it's all good.
1043
01:07:48,125 --> 01:07:49,792
That's what I'm trying to say.
1044
01:07:52,291 --> 01:07:55,125
I am so glad
I'm not you right now.
1045
01:08:05,291 --> 01:08:07,040
Wa, wa, wa, wa, wa, wa, wa.
1046
01:08:12,625 --> 01:08:15,165
This is my
recipe for macaroni and cheese.
1047
01:08:15,166 --> 01:08:17,165
You get the macaroni,
you cook the macaroni.
1048
01:08:17,166 --> 01:08:19,457
You might think gravity's
just for the birds, Rocko,
1049
01:08:19,458 --> 01:08:21,791
but it's the law, and it goes
the same for everybody.
1050
01:08:21,792 --> 01:08:23,457
Oh, yeah?
I'm gonna stick...
1051
01:08:23,458 --> 01:08:26,374
Okay, I'm genuinely trying now.
1052
01:08:26,375 --> 01:08:28,249
I'm actually putting
in some effort,
1053
01:08:28,250 --> 01:08:29,582
and I'm... oh! It's dead!
1054
01:08:29,583 --> 01:08:31,582
I can grow out of it if I
want, but I probably won't,
1055
01:08:31,583 --> 01:08:35,499
so this is my head...
currently.
1056
01:08:35,500 --> 01:08:37,332
Zombie apocalypse, guys.
What would you do?
1057
01:08:37,333 --> 01:08:39,708
What would you
do in a zombie apocalypse?
1058
01:08:39,709 --> 01:08:41,667
Wait, but who's... ah! Who's winning?
1059
01:08:45,250 --> 01:08:46,499
Ah.
1060
01:08:46,500 --> 01:08:48,207
Point. Looting.
1061
01:08:48,208 --> 01:08:50,541
I... you know, zombies
start walking the Earth?
1062
01:08:50,542 --> 01:08:53,791
I'll be the first at the mall
with a sledgehammer.
1063
01:08:53,792 --> 01:08:56,165
What are you gonna do
in the zombie apocalypse?
1064
01:08:57,709 --> 01:08:59,040
Uncle Ray's.
Half a point.
1065
01:08:59,041 --> 01:09:00,541
What?!
What? No!
1066
01:09:00,542 --> 01:09:02,040
Really?
No, say it ain't so.
1067
01:09:02,041 --> 01:09:03,666
Oh my God.
So, Kiki has this...
1068
01:09:03,667 --> 01:09:06,207
This uncle lives up
in a cabin by...
1069
01:09:06,208 --> 01:09:07,416
Lake Frontier.
1070
01:09:07,417 --> 01:09:08,624
Lake Frontier, yes.
1071
01:09:08,625 --> 01:09:09,874
The guy was crazy.
1072
01:09:09,875 --> 01:09:11,165
No, he's an artist.
1073
01:09:11,166 --> 01:09:12,374
He is a little weird.
1074
01:09:12,375 --> 01:09:13,874
Yeah, he's
completely off the grid.
1075
01:09:13,875 --> 01:09:15,374
We had to, like,
take this unmarked road
1076
01:09:15,375 --> 01:09:17,749
- past the fire... past the
fire county dump. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
1077
01:09:17,750 --> 01:09:20,249
Anyway, that's where I
would go for the zombie apocalypse.
1078
01:09:20,250 --> 01:09:21,999
Really? Yes.
Uncle Ray's.
1079
01:09:22,000 --> 01:09:23,541
You know when you can't...
1080
01:09:27,625 --> 01:09:30,000
That's where I would
go for the zombie apocalypse.
1081
01:09:33,083 --> 01:09:34,749
Lives up in a cabin by...
1082
01:09:34,750 --> 01:09:35,833
Lake Frontier.
1083
01:09:35,834 --> 01:09:37,083
Lake Frontier, yes.
Point.
1084
01:09:42,417 --> 01:09:44,582
We had to, like,
take this unmarked road
1085
01:09:44,583 --> 01:09:47,083
past the fire... the fire county dump.
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
1086
01:10:45,375 --> 01:10:47,290
So, I've been out here a week,
1087
01:10:47,291 --> 01:10:49,791
and they still can't find her,
1088
01:10:49,792 --> 01:10:53,874
so I gotta figure out what
I'm gonna do from now on.
1089
01:10:55,000 --> 01:10:56,709
Cannot live without YouTube.
1090
01:10:58,291 --> 01:10:59,333
Yeah, I can't.
1091
01:11:00,375 --> 01:11:01,833
I can't.
1092
01:11:01,834 --> 01:11:03,165
It was fine.
1093
01:11:03,166 --> 01:11:05,207
I don't want to live
without YouTube.
1094
01:11:05,208 --> 01:11:07,499
I don't think that
we're too... connected.
1095
01:11:07,500 --> 01:11:09,165
I don't think that
we share too much.
1096
01:11:09,166 --> 01:11:10,166
I think that this...
1097
01:11:10,167 --> 01:11:11,582
This technology
we have in the world
1098
01:11:11,583 --> 01:11:13,165
is bringing us
all closer together.
1099
01:11:13,166 --> 01:11:16,374
And yeah, that's...
That's... it's dangerous,
1100
01:11:16,375 --> 01:11:18,749
and it's a risk
to open yourself up,
1101
01:11:18,750 --> 01:11:20,958
and to trust. I get that.
1102
01:11:20,959 --> 01:11:22,041
Um...
1103
01:11:23,917 --> 01:11:26,207
I may never get
to go home again,
1104
01:11:26,208 --> 01:11:29,249
I may never be able
to use my real name again
1105
01:11:29,250 --> 01:11:30,833
in the world,
1106
01:11:30,834 --> 01:11:33,165
and my life could suck.
1107
01:11:33,166 --> 01:11:36,290
As long as this is real,
what... what we're doing here,
1108
01:11:36,291 --> 01:11:38,332
as long as this is good,
1109
01:11:38,333 --> 01:11:39,874
then I'm good.
1110
01:11:39,875 --> 01:11:41,500
So if I have to choose...
1111
01:11:42,875 --> 01:11:44,958
I choose to live online.
1112
01:11:44,959 --> 01:11:47,708
Hoffman Heads, you may
never know where I am,
1113
01:11:47,709 --> 01:11:49,374
you may not know who I am,
1114
01:11:49,375 --> 01:11:50,916
but I'm still gonna be here,
1115
01:11:50,917 --> 01:11:52,958
every day, with you.
1116
01:11:52,959 --> 01:11:54,708
So I'm gonna post this video,
1117
01:11:54,709 --> 01:11:57,040
What the fuck, man?
Holy fuck!
1118
01:11:57,041 --> 01:11:59,041
What are you doing?
Where did you go?
1119
01:12:00,375 --> 01:12:01,708
I was making a video.
1120
01:12:01,709 --> 01:12:03,541
You... oh. Okay, great.
1121
01:12:03,542 --> 01:12:05,207
I thought you died.
1122
01:12:05,208 --> 01:12:07,290
I almost pissed my pants, man.
1123
01:12:07,291 --> 01:12:09,040
That's disgusting.
Yeah.
1124
01:12:09,041 --> 01:12:10,082
I need a beer.
Yeah, me too.
1125
01:12:10,083 --> 01:12:14,124
And with that deeply
philosophical conclusion
1126
01:12:14,125 --> 01:12:16,749
to my meditation
on man and nature,
1127
01:12:16,750 --> 01:12:19,624
Headlights, it's alive!
1128
01:12:19,625 --> 01:12:21,416
Yes!
1129
01:12:21,417 --> 01:12:23,749
Neither sleet nor snow,
nor dark of night,
1130
01:12:23,750 --> 01:12:26,207
Hoffman's Head is broadcasting
to you guys
1131
01:12:26,208 --> 01:12:27,833
live from an
undisclosed location.
1132
01:12:27,834 --> 01:12:30,124
Nothing stops the livestream!
1133
01:12:30,125 --> 01:12:31,916
Nothing!
1134
01:12:31,917 --> 01:12:32,999
Yes!
1135
01:12:33,000 --> 01:12:35,082
Glad you're back, dude.
Oh! Yes!
1136
01:12:35,083 --> 01:12:38,374
Where are you guys?
It looks kinda freaky.
1137
01:12:38,375 --> 01:12:40,082
Dude, did you just
seriously just ask me
1138
01:12:40,083 --> 01:12:42,708
to disclose
the undisclosed location?
1139
01:12:42,709 --> 01:12:44,290
And I almost did it as well,
1140
01:12:44,291 --> 01:12:46,207
like a knee-jerk reaction.
1141
01:12:46,208 --> 01:12:47,624
Are you guys okay?
1142
01:12:47,625 --> 01:12:49,290
We heard FanGirl killed a cop.
1143
01:12:49,291 --> 01:12:50,582
I bet it's a scam.
1144
01:12:50,583 --> 01:12:51,791
It was on the news.
1145
01:12:51,792 --> 01:12:53,457
He's gonna end up
just like LonelyGirl.
1146
01:12:53,458 --> 01:12:55,708
What, are you... you trying
to get more views, Hoffman?
1147
01:12:55,709 --> 01:12:58,749
Um, a good man lost his life
1148
01:12:58,750 --> 01:13:00,082
trying to protect and serve,
1149
01:13:00,083 --> 01:13:01,332
and when...
1150
01:13:01,333 --> 01:13:03,165
I know how to process that
1151
01:13:03,166 --> 01:13:04,332
the right way...
1152
01:13:04,333 --> 01:13:06,499
we can talk about it, okay?
1153
01:13:06,500 --> 01:13:07,917
We love you, Garrett.
1154
01:13:09,625 --> 01:13:10,999
You know,
let's just try and have
1155
01:13:11,000 --> 01:13:13,207
some really stupid fun
tonight, yes?
1156
01:13:13,208 --> 01:13:15,082
Let's blow some shit up.
Okay.
1157
01:13:15,083 --> 01:13:16,541
Let's blow some shit up.
1158
01:13:19,667 --> 01:13:20,958
Can't stay covered like that.
1159
01:13:20,959 --> 01:13:22,165
10-9, 40.
1160
01:13:22,166 --> 01:13:25,207
We got a... got a clear path
to the blow-up zone.
1161
01:13:25,208 --> 01:13:26,666
Clear path to the blow-up zone.
1162
01:13:26,667 --> 01:13:28,207
Okay, clear a path.
Alright, little girl.
1163
01:13:28,208 --> 01:13:30,457
Three, two, one.
1164
01:13:47,375 --> 01:13:48,499
Hey, Garrett.
1165
01:13:48,500 --> 01:13:49,791
Have you seen this?
1166
01:13:49,792 --> 01:13:51,999
Holy shit.
1167
01:13:52,000 --> 01:13:53,375
FanGirl uploaded a new video.
1168
01:14:06,166 --> 01:14:07,709
Garrett...
1169
01:14:09,250 --> 01:14:11,166
I think I know where you are.
1170
01:14:13,291 --> 01:14:14,291
But...
1171
01:14:15,375 --> 01:14:16,874
I don't think
we'll get to talk much
1172
01:14:16,875 --> 01:14:18,959
when we see each other again.
1173
01:14:20,625 --> 01:14:22,749
So I'm saying this here,
1174
01:14:22,750 --> 01:14:25,041
because I want you
to understand.
1175
01:14:26,375 --> 01:14:28,500
My life is over.
1176
01:14:30,208 --> 01:14:32,667
And I'm...
I'm so ready.
1177
01:14:34,125 --> 01:14:36,375
But I keep thinking about you...
1178
01:14:37,458 --> 01:14:38,583
forgetting me...
1179
01:14:41,250 --> 01:14:44,000
and that makes me
unbearably lonely.
1180
01:14:48,542 --> 01:14:50,000
So...
1181
01:14:51,792 --> 01:14:54,041
If we can't be united in life...
1182
01:14:56,542 --> 01:14:58,542
we will be united in death.
1183
01:15:06,709 --> 01:15:08,125
No way.
1184
01:15:10,583 --> 01:15:12,082
Be right back.
1185
01:15:12,083 --> 01:15:14,833
- What was that?
- What's going on?
1186
01:15:14,834 --> 01:15:16,666
It's nothing. There's
nothing out there.
1187
01:15:16,667 --> 01:15:19,791
It's the... it's the woods. It's the wind.
Garrett, it's probably...
1188
01:15:22,875 --> 01:15:24,416
It's squirrels in the wind.
1189
01:15:24,417 --> 01:15:26,082
The fuck's going on here?
1190
01:15:26,083 --> 01:15:27,249
Nothing.
1191
01:15:27,250 --> 01:15:29,999
Garrett just thought he heard
something out there,
1192
01:15:30,000 --> 01:15:31,416
but there's nothing out there.
1193
01:15:31,417 --> 01:15:33,249
I'm pretty sure,
but not exactly sure.
1194
01:15:33,250 --> 01:15:34,749
- You guys okay?
- We're good.
1195
01:15:34,750 --> 01:15:36,583
We're safe. You see anything?
I bet you don't.
1196
01:15:40,667 --> 01:15:42,749
Fuck. She's out there.
1197
01:15:42,750 --> 01:15:44,582
What?
She's out there.
1198
01:15:44,583 --> 01:15:46,249
Oh, God. Mom, I love you.
1199
01:15:46,250 --> 01:15:47,917
If you're watching,
I love you so much.
1200
01:15:52,291 --> 01:15:54,082
Everybody, listen.
FanGirl is here.
1201
01:15:54,083 --> 01:15:55,708
We need you guys to call 911.
1202
01:15:55,709 --> 01:15:57,124
We don't have any service.
1203
01:15:57,125 --> 01:15:59,457
Lyle, where are we? Lyle:
County access road just outside
1204
01:15:59,458 --> 01:16:01,207
Country access road...
1205
01:16:01,208 --> 01:16:03,083
outside of Lake Frontier.
Off the 168.
1206
01:16:08,792 --> 01:16:10,082
Off 168.
1207
01:16:10,083 --> 01:16:11,923
You gotta go past the
quarry and then the dump.
1208
01:16:13,959 --> 01:16:15,499
Off the 168. Past the
quarry and the dump,
1209
01:16:15,500 --> 01:16:16,624
off the 168, alright?
1210
01:16:16,625 --> 01:16:17,833
There's no fucking address,
1211
01:16:17,834 --> 01:16:19,291
because Uncle Ray is a fucknut!
1212
01:16:23,083 --> 01:16:24,958
This is fucking hysterical.
1213
01:16:24,959 --> 01:16:28,666
Is this some horror sketch livestream?
1214
01:16:28,667 --> 01:16:29,875
We're in actual danger!
1215
01:16:35,667 --> 01:16:37,166
Oh, fuck.
1216
01:16:40,667 --> 01:16:42,124
What the...?
1217
01:16:42,125 --> 01:16:43,375
Hello?
1218
01:16:55,959 --> 01:16:58,124
Oh, fuck. We're fucked.
1219
01:16:58,125 --> 01:16:59,582
Fuck. Shit. Fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck.
1220
01:16:59,583 --> 01:17:02,333
Goddamn son
of a bitch, fucking...
1221
01:17:03,500 --> 01:17:04,999
Oh, fuck. Goddammit.
1222
01:17:05,000 --> 01:17:06,207
Fuck.
1223
01:17:06,208 --> 01:17:07,624
Shit.
1224
01:17:07,625 --> 01:17:10,041
Ow. Fuck.
1225
01:17:15,917 --> 01:17:17,375
Shit. Motherfucker.
1226
01:17:24,542 --> 01:17:25,875
Garrett?
1227
01:17:27,208 --> 01:17:30,082
Garrett. Shh. Come
here for a second.
1228
01:17:30,083 --> 01:17:31,624
Don't fucking do that.
1229
01:17:31,625 --> 01:17:33,583
Shh, then don't fucking yell.
1230
01:17:42,583 --> 01:17:43,875
This is insane.
1231
01:17:45,208 --> 01:17:46,750
We should make
a run for the car.
1232
01:17:48,041 --> 01:17:49,207
No.
1233
01:17:49,208 --> 01:17:50,374
No, you don't leave the castle.
1234
01:17:50,375 --> 01:17:52,040
You stay inside the walls.
1235
01:17:52,041 --> 01:17:54,040
What fucking castle?
1236
01:17:54,041 --> 01:17:56,457
If we go outside,
1237
01:17:56,458 --> 01:17:57,959
she's gonna kill us.
1238
01:17:59,417 --> 01:18:01,582
If she has to come in here,
1239
01:18:01,583 --> 01:18:02,875
we kill her.
1240
01:18:09,458 --> 01:18:10,749
I have a plan.
1241
01:18:10,750 --> 01:18:12,290
It's a little outside the box,
1242
01:18:12,291 --> 01:18:15,958
but what if you stay here
1243
01:18:15,959 --> 01:18:17,666
and... and...
1244
01:18:17,667 --> 01:18:20,207
And make her think
that she's got us trapped?
1245
01:18:20,208 --> 01:18:22,792
I'll slip out, and, uh...
And I'll go for help.
1246
01:18:24,208 --> 01:18:27,125
Your plan is to leave
me here and run away?
1247
01:18:29,000 --> 01:18:30,625
But she's not in love with me.
1248
01:19:04,625 --> 01:19:07,291
Son of a bitch. Okay.
1249
01:19:39,083 --> 01:19:41,291
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
1250
01:20:59,208 --> 01:21:00,417
Shit.
1251
01:21:30,166 --> 01:21:31,290
Shell!
1252
01:22:34,083 --> 01:22:36,834
Why couldn't you just love me?
1253
01:22:37,792 --> 01:22:39,709
Why couldn't you just let me go?
1254
01:22:48,625 --> 01:22:50,375
That's not love.
1255
01:24:39,917 --> 01:24:41,083
Hello?
1256
01:24:50,500 --> 01:24:51,709
Hello?
1257
01:24:58,834 --> 01:25:00,749
Oh my God.
1258
01:25:00,750 --> 01:25:03,291
Oh my God. I'm so sorry.
I've been driving all night.
1259
01:25:04,834 --> 01:25:06,666
It's me. It's Petunia.
1260
01:25:06,667 --> 01:25:07,958
Petunia4ever.
1261
01:25:07,959 --> 01:25:09,166
Can you move? Are...
1262
01:25:10,333 --> 01:25:12,374
We have to get you...
We have to get you out of here.
1263
01:25:12,375 --> 01:25:13,582
Come on, okay?
1264
01:25:13,583 --> 01:25:15,708
You just...
Alright. We're gonna go.
1265
01:25:15,709 --> 01:25:16,833
It's okay.
1266
01:25:16,834 --> 01:25:18,208
It's okay.
1267
01:25:19,583 --> 01:25:21,792
Okay. Come on.
1268
01:25:38,333 --> 01:25:39,999
Keep talking to me, okay?
1269
01:25:40,000 --> 01:25:43,040
Um, just don't... don't, like,
go into the light or anything.
1270
01:25:43,041 --> 01:25:44,082
Okay?
1271
01:25:44,083 --> 01:25:46,040
Alright? We'll just talk.
1272
01:25:46,041 --> 01:25:47,791
Um, I'm gonna take care of you.
1273
01:25:47,792 --> 01:25:49,374
I'm gonna get you some fluids,
1274
01:25:49,375 --> 01:25:51,582
some, like, electrolytes.
1275
01:25:51,583 --> 01:25:54,208
Just as soon as I
get you home safe.
1276
01:25:56,750 --> 01:25:58,166
Hospital.
1277
01:26:00,000 --> 01:26:02,416
I once took care
of a dog with a broken leg,
1278
01:26:02,417 --> 01:26:04,332
and I...
1279
01:26:04,333 --> 01:26:06,874
I rescued it, and I found
all these videos on YouTube
1280
01:26:06,875 --> 01:26:09,874
about how to take care
of a dog with a broken leg.
1281
01:26:09,875 --> 01:26:10,999
And I did it,
1282
01:26:11,000 --> 01:26:12,582
and... and it lived with me,
1283
01:26:12,583 --> 01:26:15,290
and I... I took care of it
for six months.
1284
01:26:25,375 --> 01:26:28,582
I can't believe
you're here, Garrett,
1285
01:26:28,583 --> 01:26:30,416
in my car with me.
1286
01:26:30,417 --> 01:26:32,708
Oh, I wanna show you
some of my drawings.
1287
01:26:32,709 --> 01:26:35,125
I think you're gonna...
Really gonna like them.
1288
01:26:38,750 --> 01:26:41,542
I am gonna take
such good care of you.
1289
01:27:15,417 --> 01:27:18,082
♪ Walking around this place ♪
1290
01:27:18,083 --> 01:27:21,959
♪ For miles ♪
1291
01:27:23,208 --> 01:27:24,958
♪ It's been a week ♪
1292
01:27:24,959 --> 01:27:29,166
♪ Since I've seen you smile ♪
1293
01:27:30,959 --> 01:27:32,874
♪ Leave my heart ♪
1294
01:27:32,875 --> 01:27:37,792
♪ Outside your room ♪
1295
01:27:39,000 --> 01:27:40,749
♪ Finding our love ♪
1296
01:27:40,750 --> 01:27:45,333
♪ An ashened ruse ♪
1297
01:27:46,875 --> 01:27:50,916
♪ Don't make me
feel this way ♪
1298
01:27:50,917 --> 01:27:54,791
♪ Take my heart,
it should stay ♪
1299
01:27:54,792 --> 01:27:58,541
♪ Don't make me
feel this way ♪
1300
01:27:58,542 --> 01:28:00,416
♪ I'm telling my heart ♪
1301
01:28:00,417 --> 01:28:02,249
♪ It can't stay ♪
1302
01:28:02,250 --> 01:28:05,165
♪ Let me go,
let me go, let me go ♪
1303
01:28:05,166 --> 01:28:06,207
♪ Oh ♪
1304
01:28:06,208 --> 01:28:08,999
♪ Let me go,
let me go, let me go ♪
1305
01:28:09,000 --> 01:28:10,542
♪ Oh ♪
1306
01:28:17,959 --> 01:28:19,874
♪ Let me go, let me go ♪
1307
01:28:19,875 --> 01:28:22,040
♪ Let me
go, oh ♪
1308
01:28:22,041 --> 01:28:24,874
♪ Let me go,
let me go, let me go ♪
1309
01:28:24,875 --> 01:28:26,208
♪ Oh ♪
1310
01:28:34,041 --> 01:28:36,207
♪ Staring
at faces ♪
1311
01:28:36,208 --> 01:28:40,166
♪ On the
walls ♪
1312
01:28:41,792 --> 01:28:44,541
♪ When did I let you make ♪
1313
01:28:44,542 --> 01:28:47,834
♪ Me
smile ♪
1314
01:28:49,875 --> 01:28:52,332
♪ Hiding me out of this ♪
1315
01:28:52,333 --> 01:28:55,834
♪ Nightmare ♪
1316
01:28:57,625 --> 01:28:59,457
♪ Wishing for someone ♪
1317
01:28:59,458 --> 01:29:03,750
♪ Who isn't there ♪
1318
01:29:05,583 --> 01:29:09,416
♪ Don't make me feel this way ♪
1319
01:29:09,417 --> 01:29:11,249
♪ It's only my heart ♪
1320
01:29:11,250 --> 01:29:13,249
♪ It should stay ♪
1321
01:29:13,250 --> 01:29:17,124
♪ Don't make me feel this way ♪
1322
01:29:17,125 --> 01:29:18,874
♪ I'm telling my heart ♪
1323
01:29:18,875 --> 01:29:20,791
♪ It can't
stay ♪
1324
01:29:20,792 --> 01:29:22,833
♪ Let me go,
let me go ♪
1325
01:29:22,834 --> 01:29:25,040
♪ Let me
go, oh ♪
1326
01:29:25,041 --> 01:29:26,833
♪ Let me go,
let me go ♪
1327
01:29:26,834 --> 01:29:28,917
♪ Let me
go, oh ♪
1328
01:29:36,583 --> 01:29:38,582
♪ Let me go,
let me go ♪
1329
01:29:38,583 --> 01:29:40,749
♪ Let me
go, oh ♪
1330
01:29:40,750 --> 01:29:42,582
♪ Let me go,
let me go ♪
1331
01:29:42,583 --> 01:29:45,000
♪ Let me
go, oh ♪
90709
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