Original subtitles

I'm Jimmy. I'm the host. Thanks for

I'm Jimmy. I'm the host. Thanks for

I'm Jimmy. I'm the host. Thanks for joining us uh from Hollywood or our

joining us uh from Hollywood or our

joining us uh from Hollywood or our studio here. We are directly

studio here. We are directly

studio here. We are directly for those watching at home. We are

for those watching at home. We are

for those watching at home. We are directly across the street from the

directly across the street from the

directly across the street from the Dolby Theater where last night the stars

Dolby Theater where last night the stars

Dolby Theater where last night the stars were out for the 98th Academy Awards.

were out for the 98th Academy Awards.

were out for the 98th Academy Awards. Monday after the Oscars is one of the

Monday after the Oscars is one of the

Monday after the Oscars is one of the weirdest days of the year around here.

weirdest days of the year around here.

weirdest days of the year around here. It's like Cinderella and the clock

It's like Cinderella and the clock

It's like Cinderella and the clock strikes midnight. Everything turns into

strikes midnight. Everything turns into

strikes midnight. Everything turns into rats and rags. It's that's how I would

rats and rags. It's that's how I would

rats and rags. It's that's how I would describe our neighbor. It's raggy and

describe our neighbor. It's raggy and

describe our neighbor. It's raggy and ratty out there right now. I'm not sure

ratty out there right now. I'm not sure

ratty out there right now. I'm not sure how many people watching around the

how many people watching around the

how many people watching around the world know that the Oscars are held in a

world know that the Oscars are held in a

world know that the Oscars are held in a mall. You guys know the Dolby Theater is

mall. You guys know the Dolby Theater is

mall. You guys know the Dolby Theater is in a mall. There's a Foot Locker.

in a mall. There's a Foot Locker.

in a mall. There's a Foot Locker. There's a Johnny Rockets. Last night,

There's a Johnny Rockets. Last night,

There's a Johnny Rockets. Last night, Barbara Stryisand was like this close to

Barbara Stryisand was like this close to

Barbara Stryisand was like this close to a Hot Topic store. The big winner on the

a Hot Topic store. The big winner on the

a Hot Topic store. The big winner on the show last night was one battle after

show last night was one battle after

show last night was one battle after another, which won six Oscars, including

another, which won six Oscars, including

another, which won six Oscars, including best picture. Sinners had a very strong

best picture. Sinners had a very strong

best picture. Sinners had a very strong night last night. Michael B. Jordan

night last night. Michael B. Jordan

night last night. Michael B. Jordan won best actor. Michael B. Jordan is now

won best actor. Michael B. Jordan is now

won best actor. Michael B. Jordan is now so successful he announced today he's

so successful he announced today he's

so successful he announced today he's retiring from acting to play baseball.

retiring from acting to play baseball.

retiring from acting to play baseball. He's been signed by the White Sox.

He's been signed by the White Sox.

He's been signed by the White Sox. >> Michael beat out Tim Shalamé in one of

>> Michael beat out Tim Shalamé in one of

>> Michael beat out Tim Shalamé in one of the most hotly contested categories of

the most hotly contested categories of

the most hotly contested categories of the night. It was hotly contested,

the night. It was hotly contested,

the night. It was hotly contested, wasn't it, G?

wasn't it, G?

wasn't it, G? >> Yeah, you mean it was

>> Yeah, you mean it was

>> Yeah, you mean it was >> it was so hotly contested. Very hot.

>> it was so hotly contested. Very hot.

>> it was so hotly contested. Very hot. >> I think it was the most hotly contested

>> I think it was the most hotly contested

>> I think it was the most hotly contested thing of the whole night.

thing of the whole night.

thing of the whole night. >> Yeah, I think so. Yeah,

>> Yeah, I think so. Yeah,

>> Yeah, I think so. Yeah, >> GMA was on the red carpet. Uh, we will I

>> GMA was on the red carpet. Uh, we will I

>> GMA was on the red carpet. Uh, we will I got a tip that you may have embibed and

got a tip that you may have embibed and

got a tip that you may have embibed and had some alcohol on the red carpet last

had some alcohol on the red carpet last

had some alcohol on the red carpet last night. True.

night. True.

night. True. >> Just a little bit. Just a little bit.

>> Just a little bit. Just a little bit.

>> Just a little bit. Just a little bit. Just a little bit.

Just a little bit.

Just a little bit. >> So I That's why you're a little slow

>> So I That's why you're a little slow

>> So I That's why you're a little slow maybe, right?

maybe, right?

maybe, right? >> Yeah. Tired.

>> Yeah. Tired.

>> Yeah. Tired. >> To no one's surprise, the K-pop demon

>> To no one's surprise, the K-pop demon

>> To no one's surprise, the K-pop demon hunter song. Golden one. Best original

hunter song. Golden one. Best original

hunter song. Golden one. Best original song.

song.

song. >> Actually, the full title best original

>> Actually, the full title best original

>> Actually, the full title best original song your kids play so much it almost

song your kids play so much it almost

song your kids play so much it almost makes you miss Baby Shark.

makes you miss Baby Shark.

makes you miss Baby Shark. There were no envelope mixups or nude

There were no envelope mixups or nude

There were no envelope mixups or nude intruders or onstage altercations. The

intruders or onstage altercations. The

intruders or onstage altercations. The most unexpected moment of the night was

most unexpected moment of the night was

most unexpected moment of the night was when Kuml Najani presented the award for

when Kuml Najani presented the award for

when Kuml Najani presented the award for liveaction short.

liveaction short.

liveaction short. >> And the Oscar goes to

>> And the Oscar goes to

>> And the Oscar goes to It's a tie. I'm not joking. It's

It's a tie. I'm not joking. It's

It's a tie. I'm not joking. It's actually a tie. So, everyone calm down.

actually a tie. So, everyone calm down.

actually a tie. So, everyone calm down. We're going to get through this. Focus

We're going to get through this. Focus

We're going to get through this. Focus up. I'm calm down. Remain calm.

up. I'm calm down. Remain calm.

up. I'm calm down. Remain calm. >> People were panicking. They were running

>> People were panicking. They were running

>> People were panicking. They were running around the theater.

around the theater.

around the theater. That was the first tie at the Oscars

That was the first tie at the Oscars

That was the first tie at the Oscars since 2013. And I have to say, I don't I

since 2013. And I have to say, I don't I

since 2013. And I have to say, I don't I don't know if I like a tie. They should

don't know if I like a tie. They should

don't know if I like a tie. They should settle ties with a race to the stage.

settle ties with a race to the stage.

settle ties with a race to the stage. Like, we got one Oscar. You want it?

Like, we got one Oscar. You want it?

Like, we got one Oscar. You want it? Come up and get it. And while the

Come up and get it. And while the

Come up and get it. And while the statueets were being handed out here in

statueets were being handed out here in

statueets were being handed out here in Hollywood, President Trump was hard at

Hollywood, President Trump was hard at

Hollywood, President Trump was hard at work on the golf course this weekend. We

work on the golf course this weekend. We

work on the golf course this weekend. We are now on week three of the war Trump

are now on week three of the war Trump

are now on week three of the war Trump claimed we won an hour after he started

claimed we won an hour after he started

claimed we won an hour after he started it. Operation Epsteino Distrato.

it. Operation Epsteino Distrato.

it. Operation Epsteino Distrato. uh has now cost American taxpayers more

uh has now cost American taxpayers more

uh has now cost American taxpayers more than $16 billion and more importantly

than $16 billion and more importantly

than $16 billion and more importantly the lives of 13 US service members.

the lives of 13 US service members.

the lives of 13 US service members. Trump is desperate to convince anybody

Trump is desperate to convince anybody

Trump is desperate to convince anybody who listen that this had to be done. We

who listen that this had to be done. We

who listen that this had to be done. We had to attack and that leaders who

had to attack and that leaders who

had to attack and that leaders who encourage violent acts against peaceful

encourage violent acts against peaceful

encourage violent acts against peaceful protesters are evil and must be stopped.

protesters are evil and must be stopped.

protesters are evil and must be stopped. >> How important would it be to get out

>> How important would it be to get out

>> How important would it be to get out that besiege force, the uh the thugs

that besiege force, the uh the thugs

that besiege force, the uh the thugs that walk the streets and uh the moral?

that walk the streets and uh the moral?

that walk the streets and uh the moral? Are we aiming for them? No, these are

Are we aiming for them? No, these are

Are we aiming for them? No, these are these are bad people. They go out

these are bad people. They go out

these are bad people. They go out shooting protesters. You're a protester.

shooting protesters. You're a protester.

shooting protesters. You're a protester. They shoot you right through the head.

They shoot you right through the head.

They shoot you right through the head. This is an evil group of people.

This is an evil group of people.

This is an evil group of people. >> Oh, now he's against shooting

>> Oh, now he's against shooting

>> Oh, now he's against shooting protesters. That's good. He's evolving.

protesters. That's good. He's evolving.

protesters. That's good. He's evolving. I It's always his self-awareness that

I It's always his self-awareness that

I It's always his self-awareness that impresses me the most about Donald

impresses me the most about Donald

impresses me the most about Donald Trump. He's been talking very tough for

Trump. He's been talking very tough for

Trump. He's been talking very tough for a guy who seems to almost be in a coma

a guy who seems to almost be in a coma

a guy who seems to almost be in a coma right now. Over the weekend, he wrote,

right now. Over the weekend, he wrote,

right now. Over the weekend, he wrote, "Watch what happens to these deranged

"Watch what happens to these deranged

"Watch what happens to these deranged scumbags today. They've been killing

scumbags today. They've been killing

scumbags today. They've been killing innocent people all over the world for

innocent people all over the world for

innocent people all over the world for 47 years. And now I as the 47th

47 years. And now I as the 47th

47 years. And now I as the 47th president am killing them. What a great

president am killing them. What a great

president am killing them. What a great honor it is to do so. Thank you for your

honor it is to do so. Thank you for your

honor it is to do so. Thank you for your attention to this matter. In three

attention to this matter. In three

attention to this matter. In three months he went from where's my Nobel

months he went from where's my Nobel

months he went from where's my Nobel Prize for peace to what a great honor it

Prize for peace to what a great honor it

Prize for peace to what a great honor it is to kill scumbags. Everything is his

is to kill scumbags. Everything is his

is to kill scumbags. Everything is his great honor. It was also his great honor

great honor. It was also his great honor

great honor. It was also his great honor to appear on ESPN, to defend Dennis

to appear on ESPN, to defend Dennis

to appear on ESPN, to defend Dennis Rodman, to sell digital trading cards,

Rodman, to sell digital trading cards,

Rodman, to sell digital trading cards, to win his own golf tournament, to join

to win his own golf tournament, to join

to win his own golf tournament, to join the New Jersey Boxing Hall of Fame, and

the New Jersey Boxing Hall of Fame, and

the New Jersey Boxing Hall of Fame, and now to kill people in Iran. And yet,

now to kill people in Iran. And yet,

now to kill people in Iran. And yet, even with all the killing he is enjoying

even with all the killing he is enjoying

even with all the killing he is enjoying so much, he is very low energy lately.

so much, he is very low energy lately.

so much, he is very low energy lately. He talks like he's a little drunk. He's

He talks like he's a little drunk. He's

He talks like he's a little drunk. He's slurring. He's sleepy. He's double

slurring. He's sleepy. He's double

slurring. He's sleepy. He's double fisting Diet Cokes. All of which feels

fisting Diet Cokes. All of which feels

fisting Diet Cokes. All of which feels more glaring when his friends at Fox

more glaring when his friends at Fox

more glaring when his friends at Fox News nervously take his temperature on

News nervously take his temperature on

News nervously take his temperature on when this war of his might be over.

when this war of his might be over.

when this war of his might be over. >> If Iran, as you said, totally

>> If Iran, as you said, totally

>> If Iran, as you said, totally obliterated, got the missiles, got the

obliterated, got the missiles, got the

obliterated, got the missiles, got the first two rounds of leadership, uh, air

first two rounds of leadership, uh, air

first two rounds of leadership, uh, air force gone, navy gone. Can we wrap this

force gone, navy gone. Can we wrap this

force gone, navy gone. Can we wrap this war up this week?

war up this week?

war up this week? >> Yeah, sure.

>> Yeah, sure.

>> Yeah, sure. >> I don't think so, but it'll be soon.

>> I don't think so, but it'll be soon.

>> I don't think so, but it'll be soon. Won't be long.

Won't be long.

Won't be long. >> Uh, grandpa's blood sugar is low. Will

>> Uh, grandpa's blood sugar is low. Will

>> Uh, grandpa's blood sugar is low. Will somebody get him a biscuit, please?

somebody get him a biscuit, please?

somebody get him a biscuit, please? >> I don't know if it's the stress from all

>> I don't know if it's the stress from all

>> I don't know if it's the stress from all his bad decisions or the fact that he's

his bad decisions or the fact that he's

his bad decisions or the fact that he's rage tweeting all night long and not

rage tweeting all night long and not

rage tweeting all night long and not getting any sleep, but he is spent.

getting any sleep, but he is spent.

getting any sleep, but he is spent. Trump phoned into a podcast hosted by

Trump phoned into a podcast hosted by

Trump phoned into a podcast hosted by his good little boy Brian Kilme who also

his good little boy Brian Kilme who also

his good little boy Brian Kilme who also wanted to gently nudge him towards when

wanted to gently nudge him towards when

wanted to gently nudge him towards when maybe do you think possibly we might

maybe do you think possibly we might

maybe do you think possibly we might know when this war might get wrapped up?

know when this war might get wrapped up?

know when this war might get wrapped up? >> When are you going to know when it's

>> When are you going to know when it's

>> When are you going to know when it's over? It

over? It

over? It >> when I feel it.

>> when I feel it.

>> when I feel it. >> Okay.

>> Okay.

>> Okay. >> I feel it in my bones.

>> I feel it in my bones.

>> I feel it in my bones. >> That's a problem. He uses his bones to

>> That's a problem. He uses his bones to

>> That's a problem. He uses his bones to feel things instead of his brain. He's

feel things instead of his brain. He's

feel things instead of his brain. He's he's a bonehead through and through. And

he's a bonehead through and through. And

he's a bonehead through and through. And the answer is he doesn't know when this

the answer is he doesn't know when this

the answer is he doesn't know when this war is going to be done. The only war

war is going to be done. The only war

war is going to be done. The only war Trump had an exit plan for was Vietnam.

Trump had an exit plan for was Vietnam.

Trump had an exit plan for was Vietnam. He's all over the place. During a a

He's all over the place. During a a

He's all over the place. During a a press conference

press conference

press conference this morning,

this morning,

this morning, Napoleon Bonisber took a break from

Napoleon Bonisber took a break from

Napoleon Bonisber took a break from bragging about his military exploits to

bragging about his military exploits to

bragging about his military exploits to commit a hippo violation.

commit a hippo violation.

commit a hippo violation. >> We had one man who was very ill. It

>> We had one man who was very ill. It

>> We had one man who was very ill. It looked like he wasn't going to make it.

looked like he wasn't going to make it.

looked like he wasn't going to make it. I don't know. I don't I won't mention

I don't know. I don't I won't mention

I don't know. I don't I won't mention his name. Should I? Do other people know

his name. Should I? Do other people know

his name. Should I? Do other people know his name?

his name?

his name? >> Huh? Do you want to mention it? He'll be

>> Huh? Do you want to mention it? He'll be

>> Huh? Do you want to mention it? He'll be proud. Go ahead. Tell him Tell him the

proud. Go ahead. Tell him Tell him the

proud. Go ahead. Tell him Tell him the story.

story.

story. >> Okay. Well, thank you, Mr. President.

>> Okay. Well, thank you, Mr. President.

>> Okay. Well, thank you, Mr. President. Uh, Congressman Neil Dunn of Florida had

Uh, Congressman Neil Dunn of Florida had

Uh, Congressman Neil Dunn of Florida had had some real health challenges and it

had some real health challenges and it

had some real health challenges and it was very serious and uh had had a pretty

was very serious and uh had had a pretty

was very serious and uh had had a pretty grim diagnosis. And I mentioned it to

grim diagnosis. And I mentioned it to

grim diagnosis. And I mentioned it to the president and I said, "Uh,

the president and I said, "Uh,

the president and I said, "Uh, Congressman Don is a real champion and a

Congressman Don is a real champion and a

Congressman Don is a real champion and a patriot because he's still coming to

patriot because he's still coming to

patriot because he's still coming to work and if others got this diagnosis,

work and if others got this diagnosis,

work and if others got this diagnosis, they would be apt to go home and

they would be apt to go home and

they would be apt to go home and retire." What was the diagnosis?

retire." What was the diagnosis?

retire." What was the diagnosis? >> It was uh I mean I think it was a

>> It was uh I mean I think it was a

>> It was uh I mean I think it was a terminal diagnosis.

terminal diagnosis.

terminal diagnosis. >> He would be dead by June.

>> He would be dead by June.

>> He would be dead by June. >> Okay, that went public, but yeah. Okay,

>> Okay, that went public, but yeah. Okay,

>> Okay, that went public, but yeah. Okay, that's um it was it was grim. That's

that's um it was it was grim. That's

that's um it was it was grim. That's what I was going to say.

what I was going to say.

what I was going to say. >> Well, the guy's kids had to find out

>> Well, the guy's kids had to find out

>> Well, the guy's kids had to find out somehow. It might as well have been from

somehow. It might as well have been from

somehow. It might as well have been from the president, you know. Hard to believe

the president, you know. Hard to believe

the president, you know. Hard to believe this is the same guy who was indicted

this is the same guy who was indicted

this is the same guy who was indicted for storing classified documents in the

for storing classified documents in the

for storing classified documents in the shower at his country club. And then it

shower at his country club. And then it

shower at his country club. And then it was off to Air Force One to deal with

was off to Air Force One to deal with

was off to Air Force One to deal with the very rude members of the media, one

the very rude members of the media, one

the very rude members of the media, one of whom had the audacity to ask the

of whom had the audacity to ask the

of whom had the audacity to ask the president for his thoughts on six

president for his thoughts on six

president for his thoughts on six Americans who lost their lives in his

Americans who lost their lives in his

Americans who lost their lives in his war.

war.

war. >> Can you give us a comment on the six

>> Can you give us a comment on the six

>> Can you give us a comment on the six dead?

dead?

dead? >> ABC News,

>> ABC News,

>> ABC News, >> the wor one of the worst, most fake,

>> the wor one of the worst, most fake,

>> the wor one of the worst, most fake, most corrupt.

most corrupt.

most corrupt. >> You know what ABC News? I think it's

>> You know what ABC News? I think it's

>> You know what ABC News? I think it's maybe the most corrupt news

maybe the most corrupt news

maybe the most corrupt news organizations on the planet. I think

organizations on the planet. I think

organizations on the planet. I think they're terrible. Okay, I don't want any

they're terrible. Okay, I don't want any

they're terrible. Okay, I don't want any more from ABC. He's still mad at us for

more from ABC. He's still mad at us for

more from ABC. He's still mad at us for cancing Charlie's Angels back in 1981.

cancing Charlie's Angels back in 1981.

cancing Charlie's Angels back in 1981. Trump is very upset about network news

Trump is very upset about network news

Trump is very upset about network news coverage of his war and so he's called

coverage of his war and so he's called

coverage of his war and so he's called in his attack schnowzer, Mr. We can do

in his attack schnowzer, Mr. We can do

in his attack schnowzer, Mr. We can do this the easy way or the hard way. FCC

this the easy way or the hard way. FCC

this the easy way or the hard way. FCC chairman Brendan Carr, who this weekend

chairman Brendan Carr, who this weekend

chairman Brendan Carr, who this weekend sounded the alarm against freedom of the

sounded the alarm against freedom of the

sounded the alarm against freedom of the press. He wrote, "Broers that are

press. He wrote, "Broers that are

press. He wrote, "Broers that are running hoaxes and news distortions,

running hoaxes and news distortions,

running hoaxes and news distortions, also known as the fake news, have a

also known as the fake news, have a

also known as the fake news, have a chance now to correct course before

chance now to correct course before

chance now to correct course before their license renewals come up. The law

their license renewals come up. The law

their license renewals come up. The law is clear. Broadcasters must operate in

is clear. Broadcasters must operate in

is clear. Broadcasters must operate in the public interest and they will lose

the public interest and they will lose

the public interest and they will lose their licenses if they do not. It is

their licenses if they do not. It is

their licenses if they do not. It is very important to bring trust back into

very important to bring trust back into

very important to bring trust back into the media which has earned itself the

the media which has earned itself the

the media which has earned itself the label of fake news which the media

label of fake news which the media

label of fake news which the media didn't earn themselves the label of fake

didn't earn themselves the label of fake

didn't earn themselves the label of fake news. The first fatso made that up and

news. The first fatso made that up and

news. The first fatso made that up and you ran with it. And then daddy dum dum

you ran with it. And then daddy dum dum

you ran with it. And then daddy dum dum followed with and this is really I like

followed with and this is really I like

followed with and this is really I like this. This is really like a

this. This is really like a

this. This is really like a ventriloquist complimenting his dummy on

ventriloquist complimenting his dummy on

ventriloquist complimenting his dummy on a joke. He wrote, "I am so thrilled to

a joke. He wrote, "I am so thrilled to

a joke. He wrote, "I am so thrilled to see Brendan Carr, chairman of the FCC,

see Brendan Carr, chairman of the FCC,

see Brendan Carr, chairman of the FCC, looking at the licenses of some of these

looking at the licenses of some of these

looking at the licenses of some of these corrupt and highly unpatriotic news

corrupt and highly unpatriotic news

corrupt and highly unpatriotic news organizations. They get billions of

organizations. They get billions of

organizations. They get billions of dollars of free American airwaves and

dollars of free American airwaves and

dollars of free American airwaves and use it to perpetuate lies both in news

use it to perpetuate lies both in news

use it to perpetuate lies both in news and almost all of their shows, including

and almost all of their shows, including

and almost all of their shows, including the late night morons who get gigantic

the late night morons who get gigantic

the late night morons who get gigantic salaries for horrible ratings and never

salaries for horrible ratings and never

salaries for horrible ratings and never get, as I used to say in The Apprentice,

get, as I used to say in The Apprentice,

get, as I used to say in The Apprentice, fired. Thank you for your attention to

fired. Thank you for your attention to

fired. Thank you for your attention to this matter." Uh, you know what? You're

this matter." Uh, you know what? You're

this matter." Uh, you know what? You're welcome.

welcome.

welcome. I don't know if you were thanking me,

I don't know if you were thanking me,

I don't know if you were thanking me, but you are welcome. On behalf of all my

but you are welcome. On behalf of all my

but you are welcome. On behalf of all my fellow late night morons, you are

fellow late night morons, you are

fellow late night morons, you are welcome.

welcome.

welcome. >> I actually think it's pretty criminal

>> I actually think it's pretty criminal

>> I actually think it's pretty criminal because our media companies who have no

because our media companies who have no

because our media companies who have no credibility whatsoever are putting out

credibility whatsoever are putting out

credibility whatsoever are putting out information that they know is false. And

information that they know is false. And

information that they know is false. And it's a very dangerous thing for the

it's a very dangerous thing for the

it's a very dangerous thing for the country. I think it's I think they could

country. I think it's I think they could

country. I think it's I think they could be in serious jeopardy for them.

be in serious jeopardy for them.

be in serious jeopardy for them. >> Look out, Ken Jennings. We are in

>> Look out, Ken Jennings. We are in

>> Look out, Ken Jennings. We are in serious jeopardy. not is not celebrity

serious jeopardy. not is not celebrity

serious jeopardy. not is not celebrity jeopardy. It is serious jeopardy right

jeopardy. It is serious jeopardy right

jeopardy. It is serious jeopardy right now. This to boil it down. He's

now. This to boil it down. He's

now. This to boil it down. He's threatening to pull the licenses from

threatening to pull the licenses from

threatening to pull the licenses from any news channels whose news he doesn't

any news channels whose news he doesn't

any news channels whose news he doesn't like. And I, for one, salute him. From

like. And I, for one, salute him. From

like. And I, for one, salute him. From now on, these so-called news

now on, these so-called news

now on, these so-called news organizations and talk show hosts should

organizations and talk show hosts should

organizations and talk show hosts should take our cues from real journalists like

take our cues from real journalists like

take our cues from real journalists like the fair, balanced, and highly educated

the fair, balanced, and highly educated

the fair, balanced, and highly educated YouTuber/stuntboxer

YouTuber/stuntboxer

YouTuber/stuntboxer Jake Paul.

Jake Paul.

Jake Paul. >> Would you run for office?

>> Would you run for office?

>> Would you run for office? >> I think so. That's that's what I'm

>> I think so. That's that's what I'm

>> I think so. That's that's what I'm asking for some advice. Like how did you

asking for some advice. Like how did you

asking for some advice. Like how did you make that transition?

make that transition?

make that transition? >> You know, the timing was good, but if I

>> You know, the timing was good, but if I

>> You know, the timing was good, but if I waited longer, it wouldn't have been

waited longer, it wouldn't have been

waited longer, it wouldn't have been good because of the clock, you know, the

good because of the clock, you know, the

good because of the clock, you know, the famous clock. Yeah.

famous clock. Yeah.

famous clock. Yeah. >> Father time.

>> Father time.

>> Father time. >> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah. >> My wife actually said, "Do it

>> My wife actually said, "Do it

>> My wife actually said, "Do it >> or don't talk about it." And she said,

>> or don't talk about it." And she said,

>> or don't talk about it." And she said, "All right, so do it

"All right, so do it

"All right, so do it >> or don't do it,

>> or don't do it,

>> or don't do it, >> but don't talk about it."

>> but don't talk about it."

>> but don't talk about it." >> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah. >> But she'd say, "Do it or don't do it.

>> But she'd say, "Do it or don't do it.

>> But she'd say, "Do it or don't do it. It's okay, but don't talk about it." I'm

It's okay, but don't talk about it." I'm

It's okay, but don't talk about it." I'm pretty sure don't talk about it is

pretty sure don't talk about it is

pretty sure don't talk about it is always Melania's advice in any

always Melania's advice in any

always Melania's advice in any situation. Don't talk about it. Don't

situation. Don't talk about it. Don't

situation. Don't talk about it. Don't Donald

Donald

Donald don't ever be talking. I always ask

don't ever be talking. I always ask

don't ever be talking. I always ask people this question. I think it's super

people this question. I think it's super

people this question. I think it's super interesting. If you could come back in

interesting. If you could come back in

interesting. If you could come back in history and reincarnate and like be able

history and reincarnate and like be able

history and reincarnate and like be able to experience someone else's life, who

to experience someone else's life, who

to experience someone else's life, who would you come back in history as?

would you come back in history as?

would you come back in history as? That's a very interesting question.

That's a very interesting question.

That's a very interesting question. Maybe Donald Trump right now. I think

Maybe Donald Trump right now. I think

Maybe Donald Trump right now. I think Donald Trump right now, my life is very

Donald Trump right now, my life is very

Donald Trump right now, my life is very exciting.

exciting.

exciting. >> What a surprise that he would pick

>> What a surprise that he would pick

>> What a surprise that he would pick himself. Isn't that I think it's called

himself. Isn't that I think it's called

himself. Isn't that I think it's called me incarnation. It's And what a news

me incarnation. It's And what a news

me incarnation. It's And what a news flash that Jake Paul wants to run for

flash that Jake Paul wants to run for

flash that Jake Paul wants to run for office. That's ter That's also Trump's

office. That's ter That's also Trump's

office. That's ter That's also Trump's fault. You see what you did? You've

fault. You see what you did? You've

fault. You see what you did? You've inspired a whole generation of muppet

inspired a whole generation of muppet

inspired a whole generation of muppet brain numbum skulls to want to be

brain numbum skulls to want to be

brain numbum skulls to want to be president. I mean, really,

president. I mean, really,

president. I mean, really, >> one day,

>> one day,

>> one day, >> we're going to look back at Donald Trump

>> we're going to look back at Donald Trump

>> we're going to look back at Donald Trump one day like he was Thomas Jefferson.

one day like he was Thomas Jefferson.

one day like he was Thomas Jefferson. And when we have Jake Paul in the White

And when we have Jake Paul in the White

And when we have Jake Paul in the White House, we have President Abraham missing

House, we have President Abraham missing

House, we have President Abraham missing Lincoln running the country. But let's

Lincoln running the country. But let's

Lincoln running the country. But let's get back to the Oscars, shall we? Last

get back to the Oscars, shall we? Last

get back to the Oscars, shall we? Last night, our biggest and brightest stars

night, our biggest and brightest stars

night, our biggest and brightest stars vied to get their hands on a little

vied to get their hands on a little

vied to get their hands on a little golden man, and that man's name is GMO.

golden man, and that man's name is GMO.

golden man, and that man's name is GMO. Year in and year out, no one brings more

Year in and year out, no one brings more

Year in and year out, no one brings more guava or tequila to the Academy Awards

guava or tequila to the Academy Awards

guava or tequila to the Academy Awards than GMO. And here he is once again on

than GMO. And here he is once again on

than GMO. And here he is once again on the red carpet at the Oscars.

Well, open it up.

Well, open it up.

Well, open it up. >> Oh,

>> Oh,

>> Oh, >> you got it.

>> you got it.

>> you got it. >> Oh.

>> Oh.

>> Oh. Ah, there we go. Just slug it back.

Ah, there we go. Just slug it back.

Ah, there we go. Just slug it back. >> Yeah. Do the snake.

>> Yeah. Do the snake.

>> Yeah. Do the snake. >> Here we go.

>> Here we go.

>> Here we go. >> Yeah. And action. I'll say

>> Yeah. And action. I'll say

>> Yeah. And action. I'll say >> YOU WANT TO TAKE TWO.

>> YOU WANT TO TAKE TWO.

>> YOU WANT TO TAKE TWO. >> YEAH.

>> YEAH.

>> YEAH. >> ACTION.

>> ACTION.

>> ACTION. >> I do a lot of takes. Let's just say

>> I do a lot of takes. Let's just say

>> I do a lot of takes. Let's just say that.

that.

that. >> I'm an nominee.

>> I'm an nominee.

>> I'm an nominee. >> Oh, yeah.

>> Oh, yeah.

>> Oh, yeah. >> For editing.

>> For editing.

>> For editing. >> For editing. For which movie?

>> For editing. For which movie?

>> For editing. For which movie? >> One bottle.

>> One bottle.

>> One bottle. >> One bottle. Mhm.

>> One bottle. Mhm.

>> One bottle. Mhm. >> I give you one bottle.

>> I give you one bottle.

>> I give you one bottle. >> I get it. Love that. Thank you. Cheers.

>> I get it. Love that. Thank you. Cheers.

>> I get it. Love that. Thank you. Cheers. >> Thank you.

>> Thank you.

>> Thank you. >> You want another bottle?

>> You want another bottle?

>> You want another bottle? >> Yeah, I would eat one, too.

>> Yeah, I would eat one, too.

>> Yeah, I would eat one, too. >> I WATCH ONE BOTTLE AFTER ANOTHER.

>> I WATCH ONE BOTTLE AFTER ANOTHER.

>> I WATCH ONE BOTTLE AFTER ANOTHER. >> You know the movie Hamnip, right?

>> You know the movie Hamnip, right?

>> You know the movie Hamnip, right? >> Hamn. Yeah.

>> Hamn. Yeah.

>> Hamn. Yeah. >> Hamlet. Yeah. Right.

>> Hamlet. Yeah. Right.

>> Hamlet. Yeah. Right. >> Here's a hamnip here.

>> It's ham and a net.

>> It's ham and a net.

>> It's ham and a net. >> Yeah. A ham and a net.

>> Yeah. A ham and a net.

>> Yeah. A ham and a net. >> Hamnet.

>> Hamnet.

>> Hamnet. >> Hamnet.

>> Hamnet.

>> Hamnet. >> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah. Have you seen the Capri today?

Have you seen the Capri today?

Have you seen the Capri today? >> I've not seen him yet.

>> I've not seen him yet.

>> I've not seen him yet. >> I'm waiting to see him.

>> I'm waiting to see him.

>> I'm waiting to see him. >> I hear we're wearing the same outfit.

>> I hear we're wearing the same outfit.

>> I hear we're wearing the same outfit. >> You are?

>> You are?

>> You are? >> Yeah. I heard he stole my style.

>> Yeah. I heard he stole my style.

>> Yeah. I heard he stole my style. >> Why would he do that?

>> Why would he do that?

>> Why would he do that? >> I don't know.

>> I don't know.

>> I don't know. >> Jealous. Maybe

>> Jealous. Maybe

>> Jealous. Maybe >> exactly.

>> exactly.

>> exactly. >> Leo. Leo. It's me. GMO. Leo Dei Capri.

>> Leo. Leo. It's me. GMO. Leo Dei Capri.

>> Leo. Leo. It's me. GMO. Leo Dei Capri. No.

No.

No. K. How are you, man? Hey, what? HOW ARE

K. How are you, man? Hey, what? HOW ARE

K. How are you, man? Hey, what? HOW ARE YOU? I JUST GOT A little biter.

Uh Asher, are you presenting or you just

Uh Asher, are you presenting or you just

Uh Asher, are you presenting or you just an usher?

an usher?

an usher? I think he just AN USHER. WHO? AMAYA.

I think he just AN USHER. WHO? AMAYA.

I think he just AN USHER. WHO? AMAYA. MAYA, I LOVE YOU GUYS. You want to do a

MAYA, I LOVE YOU GUYS. You want to do a

MAYA, I LOVE YOU GUYS. You want to do a tequila shot?

tequila shot?

tequila shot? >> K.

>> K.

>> K. K. K.

K. K.

K. K. >> She's so likable.

>> She's so likable.

>> She's so likable. Mikey, how are you? Mikey, how you

Mikey, how are you? Mikey, how you

Mikey, how are you? Mikey, how you doing? Quick question. MIKEY. MIKEY,

doing? Quick question. MIKEY. MIKEY,

doing? Quick question. MIKEY. MIKEY, WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE SOUP?

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE SOUP?

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE SOUP? >> YEAH.

>> YEAH.

>> YEAH. >> L.

>> L.

>> L. >> YEAH. L. YEAH. SHE LOVE L LIKE ME. YEAH.

>> YEAH. L. YEAH. SHE LOVE L LIKE ME. YEAH.

>> YEAH. L. YEAH. SHE LOVE L LIKE ME. YEAH. It's GMO from Jimmy Kimmo.

It's GMO from Jimmy Kimmo.

It's GMO from Jimmy Kimmo. He's lost. More tequila for me.

>> I'm trying to go to the the the after

>> I'm trying to go to the the the after

>> I'm trying to go to the the the after party.

party.

party. >> Yeah. I could probably get you into

>> Yeah. I could probably get you into

>> Yeah. I could probably get you into that.

that.

that. >> Oh, yeah.

>> Oh, yeah.

>> Oh, yeah. >> Yeah. Can I be a plus one?

>> Yeah. Can I be a plus one?

>> Yeah. Can I be a plus one? >> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah. >> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah. >> Yeah. Call me, dude.

>> Yeah. Call me, dude.

>> Yeah. Call me, dude. >> I got a call.

>> I got a call.

>> I got a call. >> Just text. Just text me.

>> Just text. Just text me.

>> Just text. Just text me. >> I'll text you.

>> I'll text you.

>> I'll text you. >> Text me on my uh on my cell phone. Yeah.

>> Text me on my uh on my cell phone. Yeah.

>> Text me on my uh on my cell phone. Yeah. I'll give it to you. I'll give it to you

I'll give it to you. I'll give it to you

I'll give it to you. I'll give it to you in a minute.

in a minute.

in a minute. >> All right.

>> All right.

>> All right. >> Great seeing you. See See you at the

>> Great seeing you. See See you at the

>> Great seeing you. See See you at the party tonight.

party tonight.

party tonight. >> Well, SAY YOUR NUMBER NOW.

>> Well, SAY YOUR NUMBER NOW.

>> Well, SAY YOUR NUMBER NOW. >> PLUS ONE. I'LL SAY it out loud.

>> PLUS ONE. I'LL SAY it out loud.

>> PLUS ONE. I'LL SAY it out loud. >> 212 55.

>> 212 55.

>> 212 55. >> All right. Bye.

>> So mysterious.

>> So mysterious.

>> So mysterious. >> So listen, I've been taking improv

>> So listen, I've been taking improv

>> So listen, I've been taking improv classes.

classes.

classes. >> Improv? Yeah. You know the rules are

>> Improv? Yeah. You know the rules are

>> Improv? Yeah. You know the rules are that you have to say yes and

that you have to say yes and

that you have to say yes and >> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah. >> Mexicans are the greatest lovers.

>> Mexicans are the greatest lovers.

>> Mexicans are the greatest lovers. >> Oh, really?

>> Oh, really?

>> Oh, really? >> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah. >> That's a good tip. Thank you.

>> That's a good tip. Thank you.

>> That's a good tip. Thank you. >> You're supposed to say yes and

>> You're supposed to say yes and

>> You're supposed to say yes and >> yes and so are Norwegians.

>> yes and so are Norwegians.

>> yes and so are Norwegians. >> Oh, yeah.

>> Oh, yeah.

>> Oh, yeah. >> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah. >> We should make We should make a baby

>> We should make We should make a baby

>> We should make We should make a baby together.

>> And

>> And

>> And >> and No.

>> and No.

>> and No. >> Hey, you got two ties on or

>> Hey, you got two ties on or

>> Hey, you got two ties on or >> this I just learned the word for this. I

>> this I just learned the word for this. I

>> this I just learned the word for this. I forget what it's called, but this is a

forget what it's called, but this is a

forget what it's called, but this is a more of a scarf.

more of a scarf.

more of a scarf. >> Yeah. Listen, you need one more.

>> Yeah. Listen, you need one more.

>> Yeah. Listen, you need one more. >> Please. Please. I I I can't think of

>> Please. Please. I I I can't think of

>> Please. Please. I I I can't think of anything better. I feel like I'm being

anything better. I feel like I'm being

anything better. I feel like I'm being kned right now. Do you want me to turn

kned right now. Do you want me to turn

kned right now. Do you want me to turn around?

around?

around? >> Oh my god, you did it so well.

>> Oh my god, you did it so well.

>> Oh my god, you did it so well. >> Right there.

>> Right there.

>> Right there. >> I didn't get a full look at it, but it's

>> I didn't get a full look at it, but it's

>> I didn't get a full look at it, but it's you naked. Is that what's happening? Are

you naked. Is that what's happening? Are

you naked. Is that what's happening? Are you butt naked on this?

you butt naked on this?

you butt naked on this? >> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah. >> Good. Good.

>> Good. Good.

>> Good. Good. >> It's very hot today, right?

>> It's very hot today, right?

>> It's very hot today, right? >> It's so hot.

>> It's so hot.

>> It's so hot. >> So, look what I I got something for you.

>> So, look what I I got something for you.

>> So, look what I I got something for you. >> No way. It's a funny

>> No way. It's a funny

>> No way. It's a funny >> Lanning L fanning.

>> Lanning L fanning.

>> Lanning L fanning. >> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah. >> Oh my god.

>> Oh my god.

>> Oh my god. >> I love this

>> I love this

>> I love this >> triple me.

>> triple me.

>> triple me. >> It's amazing. Right.

>> It's amazing. Right.

>> It's amazing. Right. >> There's a rumor going around that you

>> There's a rumor going around that you

>> There's a rumor going around that you have some tequila.

have some tequila.

have some tequila. >> Oh, I do. Here.

>> Oh, I do. Here.

>> Oh, I do. Here. >> Help a brother out.

>> Help a brother out.

>> Help a brother out. >> Yeah, I do.

>> Yeah, I do.

>> Yeah, I do. >> I can hardly breathe in this place.

>> I can hardly breathe in this place.

>> I can hardly breathe in this place. Cheers.

Cheers.

Cheers. >> It's too hot.

>> It's too hot.

>> It's too hot. >> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah. >> I don't want you to drink too much of

>> I don't want you to drink too much of

>> I don't want you to drink too much of this. All right. You got You got a long

this. All right. You got You got a long

this. All right. You got You got a long night ahead of you.

night ahead of you.

night ahead of you. >> Oh, yeah. No, I'm okay. Listen, who will

>> Oh, yeah. No, I'm okay. Listen, who will

>> Oh, yeah. No, I'm okay. Listen, who will win in a fight between you and a hawk?

win in a fight between you and a hawk?

win in a fight between you and a hawk? between me and a hawk.

between me and a hawk.

between me and a hawk. >> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah. >> Well,

>> Well,

>> Well, >> I don't want to fight with a hawk, man.

>> I don't want to fight with a hawk, man.

>> I don't want to fight with a hawk, man. I want I want to I want a hawk to land

I want I want to I want a hawk to land

I want I want to I want a hawk to land on my shoulder. I want to be best

on my shoulder. I want to be best

on my shoulder. I want to be best friends with a hawk. I don't want to

friends with a hawk. I don't want to

friends with a hawk. I don't want to fight with a hawk,

fight with a hawk,

fight with a hawk, >> but I think it probably ripped my eyes

>> but I think it probably ripped my eyes

>> but I think it probably ripped my eyes out.

out.

out. >> Oh, yeah.

>> Oh, yeah.

>> Oh, yeah. >> You You want to try it to kill it?

>> You You want to try it to kill it?

>> You You want to try it to kill it? >> No, no, no, no, no, no, no. My heels are

>> No, no, no, no, no, no, no. My heels are

>> No, no, no, no, no, no, no. My heels are too high. No, no, no. Don't kill me.

too high. No, no, no. Don't kill me.

too high. No, no, no. Don't kill me. >> YOU WANT TO TAKE IT TO GO?

>> YOU WANT TO TAKE IT TO GO?

>> YOU WANT TO TAKE IT TO GO? >> Take it to go.

>> Take it to go.

>> Take it to go. >> Cheers.

>> Cheers.

>> Cheers. >> Cheers, Golden. Up, up, up.

This was exactly what I needed.

This was exactly what I needed.

This was exactly what I needed. >> It's so good, right?

>> You're going to be in bad shape.

>> You're going to be in bad shape.

>> You're going to be in bad shape. >> I've been in bad shape all my life.

>> I feel a LOT OF

>> I feel a LOT OF

>> I feel a LOT OF >> HEY, JIMMY, I SAVED SOMETHING SPECIAL

>> HEY, JIMMY, I SAVED SOMETHING SPECIAL

>> HEY, JIMMY, I SAVED SOMETHING SPECIAL for you. Okay.

for you. Okay.

for you. Okay. >> Yeah. So, I open it

>> Yeah. So, I open it

>> Yeah. So, I open it and you drink it. YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE

and you drink it. YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE

and you drink it. YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE OUT WITH ME.

OUT WITH ME.

OUT WITH ME. >> FINALLY.

>> FINALLY.

>> FINALLY. YEAH, this lime tastes like Don Julio.

YEAH, this lime tastes like Don Julio.

YEAH, this lime tastes like Don Julio. >> Thank you so much.

>> GMO everybody

>> GMO everybody

>> GMO everybody crosses here. Rachel Christ is sitting

crosses here. Rachel Christ is sitting

crosses here. Rachel Christ is sitting in with the three and we'll be right

in with the three and we'll be right

in with the three and we'll be right back with Zenaia. So stick around.