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La Fabrique
www.sous-titres.eu
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00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:34,780
And so then, it turns out
the Terminator secretly had a kid,
3
00:00:34,910 --> 00:00:38,530
ten years ago, meaning Terminator
could be his own father,
4
00:00:38,660 --> 00:00:42,540
and then Skeletor gets angry
and wants to fight him!
5
00:00:45,330 --> 00:00:47,880
That’s not the trailer for Terminator 5.
That really happened.
6
00:00:48,500 --> 00:00:50,000
Skeletor’s real?
7
00:00:50,420 --> 00:00:52,710
That’s not Skeletor.
That’s Terminator’s wife.
8
00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:54,510
Skeletor’s a lady?
9
00:00:54,970 --> 00:00:57,890
God dammit!
Who the fuck do they think they are?
10
00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:03,140
This is the last fucking straw!
I am going to fucking kill everybody!
11
00:01:04,980 --> 00:01:07,810
I am so sick of this fucking school!
12
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:14,400
This stupid school and principal
have gone too far this time!
13
00:01:15,150 --> 00:01:19,160
– You get in trouble again?
– I didn’t do a damn thing!
14
00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:21,830
I told you.
This school is a den of snakes!
15
00:01:21,950 --> 00:01:23,790
You won’t believe
what they did this time.
16
00:01:23,910 --> 00:01:25,040
We’re trying to eat.
17
00:01:25,370 --> 00:01:28,670
You think I’m overreacting again?
Not this time!
18
00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:35,050
The school has gone too far,
and it affects everyone of you.
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00:01:36,470 --> 00:01:39,050
You remember the school physical
we all took last week?
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The school put the sizes
of all our penises
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00:01:43,890 --> 00:01:46,480
up on a big chart
in the school hallway!
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00:01:47,520 --> 00:01:49,900
– No, they didn’t.
– Yeah, they fucking did!
23
00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:52,520
Why would they put up
the sizes of our wieners?
24
00:01:52,820 --> 00:01:55,110
Because they don’t fucking care!
I’ve told you this.
25
00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:57,900
They don’t give a shit about us.
They live to make us miserable.
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00:01:58,280 --> 00:02:01,490
– That doesn’t make any sense.
– Go look for yourselves!
27
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There, you see?
Can you fucking believe it?
28
00:02:07,290 --> 00:02:10,920
– Is that really all our wiener sizes?
– Yeah! Look at it!
29
00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:14,340
It says right there,
Eric Cartman 1.2″.
30
00:02:14,710 --> 00:02:16,340
Why would they tell everybody?
31
00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:19,260
They wanna measure my wiener, fine,
but don’t put me on blast!
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00:02:19,550 --> 00:02:22,800
Craig Tucker, 2.4″.
That’s about right.
33
00:02:22,930 --> 00:02:25,680
Butters Stotch, 2.2″.
Is that good?
34
00:02:26,060 --> 00:02:27,560
How big do they say mine is?
35
00:02:29,270 --> 00:02:32,020
I told you they would be interested
in how much they grew
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since their last physical.
37
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You’re right.
They really seem into it.
38
00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:41,200
It says mine’s only 2.1″.
That doesn’t seem right.
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00:02:41,450 --> 00:02:45,160
No shit, Sherlock!
My dick isn’t 1.4″ either.
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It isn’t!
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00:02:46,620 --> 00:02:49,330
This is another conspiracy
by the school faculty.
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A conspiracy?
43
00:02:50,830 --> 00:02:52,790
They’re trying to stir up
some big thing again.
44
00:02:52,920 --> 00:02:56,960
Get all the girls all heated up
over which boy has the biggest shlong!
45
00:02:57,090 --> 00:02:58,800
This has to be dealt with!
46
00:02:58,920 --> 00:03:01,220
Everyone’s already seen it.
Nothing we can do about it.
47
00:03:02,010 --> 00:03:03,800
There’s something we can do about it.
48
00:03:03,930 --> 00:03:07,020
If they’re gonna put us on blast,
they’re at least getting it right.
49
00:03:07,140 --> 00:03:09,100
We are going to remeasure!
50
00:03:13,650 --> 00:03:16,230
All right.
Clyde Donovan, 2.3″.
51
00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:19,700
You see, witnesses?
That’s .2″ more than what they said.
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00:03:19,820 --> 00:03:21,450
– All right!
– Nice one.
53
00:03:21,570 --> 00:03:22,700
All right, next.
54
00:03:24,450 --> 00:03:25,580
Whip it out.
55
00:03:28,540 --> 00:03:30,000
It’s a little chilly in here.
56
00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:32,120
Let’s see what you got going on
down there.
57
00:03:32,420 --> 00:03:34,330
Wait.
The cold is making it shrink some.
58
00:03:34,460 --> 00:03:37,130
– Where you going, little feller?
– I don’t have time for this.
59
00:03:37,250 --> 00:03:39,590
I can’t wait if your wiener
is pulling a scared turtle.
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00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,050
He’s coming back out.
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00:03:41,510 --> 00:03:43,800
There he is!
Who’s a little guy?
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All right.
Looks like we have… 2.4″.
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00:03:47,930 --> 00:03:50,020
– Really nice.
– I’m hung like a horse!
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00:03:50,180 --> 00:03:52,770
That’s everybody.
Let’s go post these numbers.
65
00:03:56,060 --> 00:03:58,360
– What?
– Didn’t you forget something?
66
00:03:58,480 --> 00:03:59,480
What?
67
00:03:59,610 --> 00:04:02,070
You measured everyone’s wiener
except for yours.
68
00:04:02,490 --> 00:04:05,030
I measured mine this morning.
It’s right here at the top.
69
00:04:06,490 --> 00:04:08,370
13.7″?
70
00:04:08,530 --> 00:04:09,830
It’s pretty good.
71
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:12,000
Your wiener is not 13″ long!
72
00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:14,630
We all got measured with witnesses.
You have to too.
73
00:04:14,750 --> 00:04:17,750
What are you guys gonna do?
Measure my penis yourselves?
74
00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:20,670
– Are you homos?
– You just did that to everybody!
75
00:04:21,050 --> 00:04:22,880
Fine, whatever!
Go ahead!
76
00:04:25,090 --> 00:04:27,100
That’s good.
A little higher on Craig’s side.
77
00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:34,480
– “Actual boys’ penis sizes”?
– Gross!
78
00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:38,230
You see?
My wiener isn’t 1.2″, it’s 1.4!
79
00:04:39,860 --> 00:04:40,820
What?
80
00:04:40,940 --> 00:04:43,950
My wiener’s smaller than the others’?
I don’t care!
81
00:04:44,700 --> 00:04:46,740
Clearly, I’m very happy
with my wiener.
82
00:04:46,870 --> 00:04:50,240
Or else, why would I have called
for this poster to be put up at all?
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00:04:50,370 --> 00:04:52,870
Don’t forget
that this was all my idea!
84
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,920
Eric Cartman to the principal’s office
immediately.
85
00:04:56,420 --> 00:04:57,540
God dammit!
86
00:04:59,130 --> 00:05:00,800
Let me guess.
I’m in trouble again.
87
00:05:01,130 --> 00:05:03,420
– You’re darn right.
– For what?
88
00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:06,390
Why did you measure
all the boy students’ penis sizes
89
00:05:06,510 --> 00:05:09,010
and put the results
on the school bulletin board?
90
00:05:09,260 --> 00:05:12,640
Why did you do it and put the results
on the school bulletin board?
91
00:05:13,850 --> 00:05:16,100
– What?
– I don’t care if Obama is president.
92
00:05:16,230 --> 00:05:18,360
You don’t go around
putting little boys on blast,
93
00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:20,440
telling the world
the lengths of their dicks!
94
00:05:21,020 --> 00:05:25,150
Are you talking about the numbers
we published from the physicals?
95
00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:27,860
You’re damn right!
1.2″!
96
00:05:28,030 --> 00:05:31,160
I’ll have you know
that my penis is a respectable 1.4″!
97
00:05:31,410 --> 00:05:35,120
Maybe it’s still the smallest,
but it’s .2″ bigger that you said!
98
00:05:35,370 --> 00:05:38,960
The numbers we put up
were height differentials.
99
00:05:43,420 --> 00:05:45,800
We thought it would be fun
to put up how much each student
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00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:48,590
has grown in height
since their physical last year.
101
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You grew 1.2″.
102
00:05:52,890 --> 00:05:54,520
Those weren’t our dick sizes?
103
00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:59,020
Why would we publish the length
of our students’ private parts?
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00:05:59,310 --> 00:06:02,150
– I don’t know. Why would you?
– We didn’t!
105
00:06:02,980 --> 00:06:03,820
Crap!
106
00:06:03,940 --> 00:06:06,860
Everyone knows my wiener is smaller
because of me?
107
00:06:06,990 --> 00:06:10,160
This is exactly the kind of thing
we are always talking about.
108
00:06:10,280 --> 00:06:12,370
You get angry about something,
you don’t think,
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00:06:12,490 --> 00:06:14,370
and you cause bad things to happen.
110
00:06:14,490 --> 00:06:16,830
This time,
you’ve done it to yourself!
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00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:18,290
Oh, God!
112
00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:20,460
Why couldn’t I have taken
a minute to think?
113
00:06:20,580 --> 00:06:23,210
Because you have an anger problem.
114
00:06:23,340 --> 00:06:24,920
Fuck you!
No, I don’t!
115
00:06:26,300 --> 00:06:28,010
What we need to figure out,
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00:06:28,170 --> 00:06:31,550
is are we dealing with bipolarism,
some rage addiction…
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It could be a lot of things.
118
00:06:33,390 --> 00:06:36,470
He has a temper sometimes,
but he’s not all bad.
119
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Let’s try an experiment.
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00:06:37,980 --> 00:06:41,440
I wanna see
what kind of things trigger you.
121
00:06:41,980 --> 00:06:45,440
How do you think you would react
if I said negative things about you?
122
00:06:45,900 --> 00:06:47,570
Honestly, I wouldn’t really care.
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00:06:47,900 --> 00:06:50,820
What if I were to tell you
that I think you’re fat?
124
00:06:50,950 --> 00:06:52,870
I think you’re a fat little boy.
125
00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:55,950
I think you’re way too fat
for your age.
126
00:06:56,450 --> 00:06:58,290
Does that make you feel any anger?
127
00:06:58,410 --> 00:07:00,670
Huh, fatty?
Jelly belly?
128
00:07:00,790 --> 00:07:03,710
You got jelly in your belly,
you little fat fuck.
129
00:07:04,460 --> 00:07:09,090
You get angry when someone tells you
you got tits like a 40-year-old woman?
130
00:07:09,260 --> 00:07:10,380
Fat boy?
131
00:07:12,130 --> 00:07:14,470
You like that?
Shitty titty jelly belly?
132
00:07:15,470 --> 00:07:17,100
He’s a big boy!
133
00:07:17,220 --> 00:07:20,310
Get that fatty
some mud flaps for his ass!
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Big ol’ jiggly fatty butt!
135
00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:33,070
I just don’t see it.
136
00:07:33,410 --> 00:07:35,870
Your son doesn’t seem
to be triggered by anger at all.
137
00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:39,250
He’s one of the more
even tempered children I’ve ever seen.
138
00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:42,620
Your wife’s on the phone,
says it’s an emergency.
139
00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:43,920
Excuse me.
140
00:07:44,920 --> 00:07:46,000
Carol, what…
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00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:47,960
Calm down.
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What do you mean?
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00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:51,470
Web chat with what…
144
00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:54,090
What 14-year-old girl?
Carol, I would never…
145
00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:56,640
I don’t have a criminal record…
146
00:07:57,010 --> 00:07:58,350
Who is Mitch Connor?
147
00:07:58,850 --> 00:08:01,270
There can’t be a police report.
There’s no…
148
00:08:01,980 --> 00:08:03,770
Put down the gun!
Sweetie…
149
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:04,980
Put down the…
150
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:12,570
I’m not fat.
I’m big-boned.
151
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Thank you for coming.
152
00:08:15,990 --> 00:08:19,240
We called you in, because we’ve had
a little incident at the school.
153
00:08:19,370 --> 00:08:21,790
The 4th-grade boys
measured their penises
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and posted results
in the school hallway.
155
00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:26,040
Oh, dear.
156
00:08:26,630 --> 00:08:30,590
This issue can have a troubling effect
that can get blown out of proportion.
157
00:08:30,750 --> 00:08:32,880
Did they measure
from the base or from the balls?
158
00:08:38,140 --> 00:08:40,010
How did this school let this happen?
159
00:08:40,180 --> 00:08:43,810
Now, boys’ fascination
with their genitalia is a natural thing.
160
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:45,310
We simply need to find a way
161
00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:47,770
to help the students
understand what they’ve done.
162
00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:51,440
I’m a scientist.
I think it’s best I handle this.
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00:08:52,860 --> 00:08:54,910
Hello, students.
My name is Dr. Marsh.
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00:08:55,030 --> 00:08:58,530
I’m gonna talk to you a little bit
about what happened yesterday.
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How do a man and woman
make a baby?
166
00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:04,120
Anybody?
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00:09:04,250 --> 00:09:06,960
A man and a woman,
what do they do to make a baby?
168
00:09:07,290 --> 00:09:09,380
How about the girl in the brown coat.
Yeah, you.
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– They have sex.
– Good!
170
00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:14,340
The man puts his penis…
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00:09:15,010 --> 00:09:17,340
into the woman’s vagina.
172
00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:20,060
Sometimes, a man…
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00:09:20,180 --> 00:09:24,140
can feel like how long his penis is
is actually important.
174
00:09:24,430 --> 00:09:25,270
But is it?
175
00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:28,020
When you boys
measured your penis length,
176
00:09:28,150 --> 00:09:30,730
the truth is
it doesn’t really matter.
177
00:09:30,860 --> 00:09:32,650
What does matter is…
178
00:09:33,190 --> 00:09:36,950
length times diameter,
plus weight over girth,
179
00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:39,740
divided by angle of the tip squared.
180
00:09:40,700 --> 00:09:44,370
When we are talking about penis size,
we can’t just use a tape measure.
181
00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:47,960
We need a scale
and a protractor as well.
182
00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:49,630
Let’s look at it on the graph.
183
00:09:51,130 --> 00:09:53,380
Follow along with me
on your study sheet.
184
00:09:56,220 --> 00:09:59,220
I want to congratulate all of you
for making the effort to come
185
00:09:59,340 --> 00:10:01,050
to anger management class.
186
00:10:01,220 --> 00:10:03,470
We didn’t make any effort.
We didn’t have a choice!
187
00:10:04,390 --> 00:10:05,680
This is bullshit!
188
00:10:05,850 --> 00:10:09,100
Together, we’re gonna learn
what makes us angry,
189
00:10:09,230 --> 00:10:12,400
and how to better deal with it
so we don’t get into trouble anymore.
190
00:10:12,650 --> 00:10:15,070
So lame.
Why doesn’t everyone just die?
191
00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:17,820
If somebody order the city beef,
192
00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:20,950
and complain, because they say
they ordered the city shrimp,
193
00:10:21,070 --> 00:10:22,330
it’s not a my fault
194
00:10:22,450 --> 00:10:25,080
he gets a city chicken
poured all over his fucking head!
195
00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:27,750
We have good reason to be angry.
196
00:10:27,870 --> 00:10:30,080
This country is going to shit!
197
00:10:30,210 --> 00:10:33,170
We have exactly twelve days
before the oil is gone,
198
00:10:33,290 --> 00:10:37,050
and our president is a socialist
who wasn’t even born in America!
199
00:10:37,210 --> 00:10:38,220
Right.
200
00:10:38,340 --> 00:10:41,680
What we all need to do
is channel our reasons for anger
201
00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:43,260
and learn to control it.
202
00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:46,810
Man, this shit is whack, mah.
I just seen all this shit front in, mah.
203
00:10:46,930 --> 00:10:49,440
Don’t understand.
Ain’t no fucking good, mah.
204
00:10:49,560 --> 00:10:51,770
Bitch be coming.
Tappin’ that shit, mah.
205
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:53,610
Why the fuck am I here?
206
00:10:54,570 --> 00:10:58,240
I know you want to control your anger
and become a better person.
207
00:10:58,490 --> 00:11:00,530
I got problems
like these fucking people?
208
00:11:01,530 --> 00:11:03,030
I’m not saying that at all.
209
00:11:03,990 --> 00:11:07,080
I’m saying how amazing you are
for wanting to…
210
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,000
lessen some of your more…
211
00:11:09,410 --> 00:11:11,210
less awesome attributes.
212
00:11:11,710 --> 00:11:12,710
That’s cool.
213
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:17,050
And so, by dividing the weight
and the girth of the penis
214
00:11:17,170 --> 00:11:19,550
by the angle or the…
What do we call it again?
215
00:11:19,670 --> 00:11:22,180
The yaw of the shaft,
216
00:11:22,300 --> 00:11:27,220
what we finally get
is the adjusted penis size or TMI.
217
00:11:27,350 --> 00:11:30,270
Any questions so far?
Yes, little girl over there.
218
00:11:31,690 --> 00:11:33,310
What’s a penis?
219
00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:41,110
Good question.
The penis is…
220
00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:44,660
the thing we’re talking about
that boys have that we’re measuring.
221
00:11:44,780 --> 00:11:46,240
Any other questions?
222
00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:50,710
So let’s move on
to the example on your study sheet.
223
00:11:50,830 --> 00:11:53,250
How about you,
could you read it for the class?
224
00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:58,590
Example one, young lady,
please read the problem out loud.
225
00:12:00,510 --> 00:12:01,760
“Example one:
226
00:12:01,880 --> 00:12:06,260
“Randy has a penis
that is 4.4″ in length.”
227
00:12:06,550 --> 00:12:08,470
4.4″.
228
00:12:08,890 --> 00:12:11,060
“Its angle is 32°.
229
00:12:11,180 --> 00:12:14,270
“Its flaccid girth is 1″ in diameter.
230
00:12:14,560 --> 00:12:17,400
“His balls are 7 cm from the base.”
231
00:12:17,560 --> 00:12:19,150
7 cm.
232
00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:22,280
“Randy notes
that the drift of his penis
233
00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:24,660
“is 4 cm to penis right,
234
00:12:24,780 --> 00:12:27,780
“and its dead weight is .5 kg.”
235
00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:32,040
And so, divide by the 17,
carry the one and we can see that…
236
00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:35,880
Randy’s adjusted penis size
or TMI is…
237
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:38,460
6.3″.
238
00:12:38,590 --> 00:12:39,750
Do we got that?
239
00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:42,510
Randy’s length is 4.4″,
240
00:12:42,630 --> 00:12:45,470
but his adjusted length is 6.3.
241
00:12:45,590 --> 00:12:48,010
So how does
our example person Randy
242
00:12:48,140 --> 00:12:50,640
compare to others on the TMI scale?
243
00:12:50,890 --> 00:12:52,890
By referring again to the TMI chart,
244
00:12:53,060 --> 00:12:57,440
we see that a TMI of 6.3 is .8″ more
245
00:12:57,560 --> 00:12:59,360
than the national average.
246
00:13:01,230 --> 00:13:05,030
What we’re going to do now
is get to the root of all your anger.
247
00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:06,740
Daniel, could you stand up?
248
00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:11,160
What makes you the angriest?
249
00:13:11,330 --> 00:13:13,040
Stupid ass blind liberals!
250
00:13:13,620 --> 00:13:16,830
Chase, could you stand up and pretend
to be a stupid ass blind liberal?
251
00:13:18,420 --> 00:13:20,090
And what makes you angriest?
252
00:13:20,250 --> 00:13:21,750
Scrawny ass sissies!
253
00:13:22,340 --> 00:13:23,800
Daniel’s a scrawny ass sissy.
254
00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:27,180
He just cut in front of you
in line at the bank. Go!
255
00:13:28,050 --> 00:13:29,850
What?
You think I got a small dick?
256
00:13:30,430 --> 00:13:34,100
I don’t have a small penis!
My wife thinks it’s perfectly fine!
257
00:13:36,980 --> 00:13:39,610
Why don’t we do
some role playing with Wayne D?
258
00:13:39,730 --> 00:13:41,270
Who gets angriest at his mom.
259
00:13:44,570 --> 00:13:46,530
Gretchen, could you play
Wayne D’s mom?
260
00:13:48,030 --> 00:13:48,910
Yo bitch!
261
00:13:49,030 --> 00:13:50,660
You think you bad just cuz you a mom
262
00:13:50,780 --> 00:13:53,200
don’t mean I can’t put a cap
in your ass, bitch, mah!
263
00:13:53,330 --> 00:13:55,080
I may be female on the outside,
264
00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:57,420
but I still have
a bigger penis than you!
265
00:13:57,540 --> 00:14:01,130
I don’t have a small penis.
It isn’t true!
266
00:14:01,380 --> 00:14:02,300
Enough!
267
00:14:02,420 --> 00:14:05,800
I’m sick of everyone
talking about penis size!
268
00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:08,720
It doesn’t matter!
269
00:14:11,430 --> 00:14:15,060
Does everyone here
have an issue with their penis size?
270
00:14:16,890 --> 00:14:19,690
– Not me.
– My shit be packin’, mah.
271
00:14:19,980 --> 00:14:21,730
My penis is 13″ long!
272
00:14:23,730 --> 00:14:25,440
My name is Rebecca Turnoud.
273
00:14:25,570 --> 00:14:29,490
I’m an actual doctor
of human sexuality and behavior.
274
00:14:29,610 --> 00:14:30,780
Unfortunately,
275
00:14:30,910 --> 00:14:34,540
you have been taught very wrong ideas
in the past couple of days,
276
00:14:34,660 --> 00:14:36,660
and I’m here to set things straight.
277
00:14:36,910 --> 00:14:37,790
Thank, God!
278
00:14:37,950 --> 00:14:41,380
I want you to try and forget
these wild theories
279
00:14:41,500 --> 00:14:44,000
and understand
that all that’s important
280
00:14:44,130 --> 00:14:48,090
when it comes to a man and a woman
making love is actually…
281
00:14:48,380 --> 00:14:51,590
length times girth,
over angle of the shaft,
282
00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:53,850
divided by mass over width…
283
00:15:08,690 --> 00:15:11,320
We all want to welcome
our new member, Randy.
284
00:15:11,490 --> 00:15:12,740
Say hi to everyone.
285
00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:14,280
Suck it, all of you!
286
00:15:14,530 --> 00:15:18,080
We’ve been trying to channel our anger
in more constructive ways.
287
00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:19,960
Why don’t you share
what’s bothering you?
288
00:15:20,290 --> 00:15:22,630
You don’t just go around
changing math!
289
00:15:22,750 --> 00:15:26,460
Who is this chick Surgeon General
appointed by Obama?
290
00:15:26,630 --> 00:15:29,220
God damn right!
Socialist fascists!
291
00:15:30,300 --> 00:15:33,050
Power to the people!
Burn it down!
292
00:15:33,180 --> 00:15:34,550
Burn it down!
293
00:15:35,350 --> 00:15:37,810
This is what we are here
to try and work on.
294
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:40,480
Fuck you!
We’re burning this shit!
295
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:43,150
If you take a minute
to think about your anger…
296
00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:46,900
Yeah, dude!
297
00:15:47,020 --> 00:15:49,280
Mah, that shit
be burnin’ ’n’ shit, mah!
298
00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:02,540
Welcome to FedEx.
How can I help you today?
299
00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:05,040
I’ve got some birthday presents
I need shipped.
300
00:16:05,210 --> 00:16:07,090
Alrighty, let’s see what kind of…
301
00:16:07,590 --> 00:16:09,920
– Burn it down!
– Burn it down, dude!
302
00:16:16,340 --> 00:16:18,890
Let’s see how the government likes it
303
00:16:19,020 --> 00:16:21,850
when we shut down
their Federal Express!
304
00:16:23,690 --> 00:16:27,020
I’m standing outside the FedEx
in Fairplay, Colorado,
305
00:16:27,150 --> 00:16:30,490
where a radical political group
has taken several people hostage.
306
00:16:30,610 --> 00:16:33,280
They call themselves
“The pissed off and angry party,”
307
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:35,870
and they allowed me
to speak with them moments ago.
308
00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:39,040
This is a call to all angry people.
We’ve had enough!
309
00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:42,960
We’ll hit the government where it hurts.
Right in the Federal Express!
310
00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:45,420
What exactly are you angry about?
311
00:16:45,540 --> 00:16:48,540
We’re angry
about this stupid liberal government
312
00:16:48,670 --> 00:16:51,760
and fascist lies,
media control and…
313
00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:52,880
And Jews!
314
00:16:53,380 --> 00:16:56,220
Jews and all the stuff
that the government’s doing!
315
00:16:56,470 --> 00:16:59,310
You’ve got a lot of people scared.
What are your demands?
316
00:16:59,430 --> 00:17:03,140
First of all, we want
that Surgeon General to step down!
317
00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:07,100
– And we want…
– Obama’s real birth certificate!
318
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:10,020
We wanna see
Obama’s real birth certificate!
319
00:17:10,150 --> 00:17:11,030
And…
320
00:17:11,150 --> 00:17:14,820
And my mom gotta stop trippin’, mah.
Bitch be trippin’ all the time, mah!
321
00:17:15,070 --> 00:17:17,160
We want our moms
to stop tripping, man,
322
00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:19,240
’cause them bitches
be tripping all the time!
323
00:17:19,370 --> 00:17:20,580
And I think that…
324
00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:23,370
– Is that it?
– And fuck Kyle!
325
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:25,120
And fuck Kyle!
326
00:17:25,250 --> 00:17:28,380
Surgeon General’s resignation,
Obama’s real birth certificate,
327
00:17:28,500 --> 00:17:31,380
moms to stop tripping and fuck Kyle.
You got that?
328
00:17:31,500 --> 00:17:34,920
Or else, we’re gonna bring
the Federal Express to a grinding halt!
329
00:17:35,050 --> 00:17:38,050
Does it bother you that the FedEx
is not affiliated at all
330
00:17:38,180 --> 00:17:39,720
with the federal government?
331
00:17:44,020 --> 00:17:45,350
That doesn’t matter.
332
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:47,770
Fuck, really?
333
00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:58,530
What are you doing?
334
00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:00,700
Homework.
I just don’t get it.
335
00:18:00,870 --> 00:18:04,290
That is the fourth time I’ve calculated,
and it’s below average.
336
00:18:04,410 --> 00:18:08,040
I thought I was hung,
but my TMI says I have a micropenis.
337
00:18:08,210 --> 00:18:10,420
– Your TMI?
– I don’t understand it.
338
00:18:10,540 --> 00:18:13,500
I’m starting to feel angry!
339
00:18:14,710 --> 00:18:15,880
Put your clothes on!
340
00:18:16,170 --> 00:18:17,300
What’s the point?
341
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:20,090
What’s the point of life anyways?
All you do is yell at me!
342
00:18:20,220 --> 00:18:22,600
And the government!
It’s lead by fascists!
343
00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:24,600
And everyone’s
a Justin Bieber wannabe!
344
00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:27,020
I wanna go and drive a hummer.
That’s what I wanna do!
345
00:18:27,140 --> 00:18:29,730
I wanna drive a car
that goes vram vram vram!
346
00:18:30,150 --> 00:18:33,270
What does driving a car have to do
with your penis being small?
347
00:18:36,820 --> 00:18:39,860
Everyone who’s pissed off and angry
is rallying to take down America.
348
00:18:39,990 --> 00:18:41,160
Join the fight!
349
00:18:43,910 --> 00:18:45,910
We’re gonna take down
the Federal Expresses,
350
00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:47,500
the American Apparels
351
00:18:47,620 --> 00:18:49,790
and the American
Furniture Warehouse!
352
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,050
We are fed up, and we’ve had enough!
353
00:18:57,760 --> 00:19:00,220
Surgeon General, twelve more FedExes
have been taken over.
354
00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:02,470
The pissed off and angry party’s
gaining support.
355
00:19:02,890 --> 00:19:04,470
They’ve shut down American Airlines
356
00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:06,810
and American Apparels
all over the country.
357
00:19:06,930 --> 00:19:08,640
We have to ask you to step down.
358
00:19:08,810 --> 00:19:11,560
Are you seriously saying
we’re going to give in?
359
00:19:11,850 --> 00:19:14,690
They’re all really angry.
We have to make them stop.
360
00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:17,280
Is the team standing by
to fuck that little boy Kyle?
361
00:19:17,730 --> 00:19:18,780
Team standing by.
362
00:19:19,490 --> 00:19:22,030
– Let me through!
– Who is this?
363
00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:24,990
Surgeon General, I believe
I know why this is happening.
364
00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:29,290
I have found a direct correlation
between anger and TMI.
365
00:19:31,710 --> 00:19:33,710
Anger equals length times width,
366
00:19:33,830 --> 00:19:36,590
over mass squared
minus angle of the shaft,
367
00:19:36,710 --> 00:19:37,840
plus yaw.
368
00:19:38,460 --> 00:19:42,050
We all get angry, but when someone
is consistently angry,
369
00:19:42,180 --> 00:19:44,220
or always finding
new reasons to be angry,
370
00:19:44,510 --> 00:19:48,310
it means they have
a very, very, very, very small dick.
371
00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:51,100
Your theory is fine,
but it doesn’t matter.
372
00:19:51,350 --> 00:19:54,770
The TMI equation is true solid science,
which cannot be changed.
373
00:19:54,900 --> 00:19:56,480
There’s nothing we can do.
374
00:19:56,730 --> 00:19:57,860
Isn’t there?
375
00:19:58,940 --> 00:19:59,940
Isn’t…
376
00:20:00,990 --> 00:20:01,990
there?
377
00:20:02,530 --> 00:20:05,950
We’ve waited long enough.
Let’s kill these sons of bitches!
378
00:20:07,580 --> 00:20:09,330
They aren’t gonna give us
what we want.
379
00:20:09,490 --> 00:20:10,960
Let’s cap these bitches
380
00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:13,000
’n’ leave ’em
in the back of the buildin’.
381
00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:15,130
Come over here.
382
00:20:15,290 --> 00:20:18,420
We’re interrupting for a message
from the Surgeon General.
383
00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:20,800
Fellow Americans, as you all know,
384
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:23,340
the TMI scale
was implemented long ago
385
00:20:23,590 --> 00:20:27,600
to assure that each and every American
could accurately measure their junk.
386
00:20:27,970 --> 00:20:30,810
The established equation
is a hundred percent accurate.
387
00:20:32,810 --> 00:20:35,770
However,
due to recently collected data,
388
00:20:35,900 --> 00:20:37,650
we are making one change.
389
00:20:37,900 --> 00:20:41,490
The national average for penis length
is now officially moved,
390
00:20:41,610 --> 00:20:44,570
from 6″ to 1.5″.
391
00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:47,910
Anyone with a TMI of over 1.5″
392
00:20:48,030 --> 00:20:50,450
is considered above average.
393
00:20:55,250 --> 00:20:58,340
The winds of change are blowin’
394
00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:02,300
There’s excitement in the air
395
00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:04,180
Can you feel it?
396
00:21:04,300 --> 00:21:07,220
It’s electric and magical
397
00:21:07,390 --> 00:21:10,510
The happy train’s on track
398
00:21:11,020 --> 00:21:14,390
Because America is back!
399
00:21:16,940 --> 00:21:19,020
– Come on!
– Wait, what?
400
00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:25,240
America is back!
401
00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:31,330
According to that scale,
I still have a small wiener.
402
00:21:34,370 --> 00:21:35,870
I’m still fucking angry!
403
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:37,170
And we’re back!
30598
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