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Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
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Here you go!
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Here you go!
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Don't forget to vote everyone!
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Here you go, Fellas.
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Be sure to get these handed in tomorrow!
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- What's this?
- Every student need to go home
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and vote on their favorite choice
in each category.
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Favorite comedy actor,
favorite comedy movie--
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and then on Friday during lunch and recess,
we're gonna have a big
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00:00:48,390 --> 00:00:50,830
f-f-fantastic comedy awards show!
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00:00:51,700 --> 00:00:54,820
Dude, an awards show just for comedy
sounds like a bad idea.
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00:00:55,270 --> 00:00:58,170
Fellas, do you have any ideas how
difficult comedy is?
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00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:00,870
Can't we just spend one lunch and
recess saying thanks to
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those who make us smile and
laugh every day?
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00:01:02,610 --> 00:01:04,460
Yeah, look, I don't think I can
make it, Jimmy.
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00:01:04,510 --> 00:01:06,530
Yeah, sorry dude, I can't
make either.
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Attention students, mkay.
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There will be a presentation by
the special education department
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in the gymnasium Friday during
lunch and recess, mkay.
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Attendance to this assembly is mandatory.
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All students and faculty are
required to go.
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Which I guess means I gotta suck
it too-- mkay.
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- Aw man really?
- Don't worry everybody!
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I've spared no expense to make
my comedy awards the biggest
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thing this school has ever seen.
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You're all gonna have a blast!
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00:01:35,900 --> 00:01:39,580
Welcome to the special ed. Departments'
first annual comedy awards.
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♪
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♪
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00:01:43,730 --> 00:01:45,820
please welcome your host:
Jimmy Valmer!
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Woo hoo!
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00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:47,510
Yeah!
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00:01:47,530 --> 00:01:48,640
Alright!
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Oh boy! What a terrific audience!
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00:01:51,580 --> 00:01:53,140
Can I get a what-what?
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00:01:53,950 --> 00:01:56,950
We are here today to honor those
who tirelessly work so hard
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to make us laugh.
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00:01:58,110 --> 00:02:01,330
The first comedy award we are
presenting is for the funniest kid in school.
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00:02:01,420 --> 00:02:03,180
And the nominees are...
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00:02:03,660 --> 00:02:05,110
Clyde Donovan.
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00:02:05,470 --> 00:02:07,680
Kelly P. Gardner.
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00:02:07,950 --> 00:02:09,640
Jimmy Valmer.
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00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:13,250
Oh wow, this is so exciting
isn't it--
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00:02:13,660 --> 00:02:14,970
and the winner is--
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oh my gosh, Jimmy Valmer!
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I can't believe I won!
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00:02:18,570 --> 00:02:20,370
♪
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00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:22,220
♪
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00:02:22,300 --> 00:02:23,720
Wow. This is the greatest day
of my life!
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Thanks, everyone, for this
incredible award.
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Can we go now?
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Go?
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We still have over fifty awards
to hand out!
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Ahhh!
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And the winner for best comedy
performance in a movie is--
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Ben Stiller!
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Come on up here, Ben!
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00:02:40,380 --> 00:02:41,570
Is Ben Stiller here?
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No--?
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Huh...
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I guess Ben Stiller could not be
with us tonight.
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So I'll accept this award
on his behalf.
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And the award for funniest correspondents'
dinner speech goes to...
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President Obama!
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Is President Obama here?
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No?
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I guess we'll just accept this
award on his behalf.
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Wow, what a terrific audience.
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Isn't this great?
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Can I get another what-what?
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And now it's time to
give out the award
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for the least funny people in the world.
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And the nominees are:
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The Germans.
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The Japanese.
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The Yupik eskimos of the Chukchi Peninsula.
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And the winner is--
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the Germans!
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Uhhh.
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00:03:28,890 --> 00:03:31,430
I guess unfortunately the Germans
couldn't be with us tonight.
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So I will accept this award on
their behalf.
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Aufedersein!
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And now for the Kathy Griffin award.
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The Kathy Griffin award will be given
each year to the person who
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is most likely to actually show up
to receive the Kathy Griffin award.
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And the winner is...
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Tyler Perry.
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Yeah!
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Yeah! Yeahhh!
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♪
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♪
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Oh man I want to thank you
all for this amazing award!
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Or as medea would say:
"Hallelujer!"
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Oh God, how embarrassing...
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Good afternoon!
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Helll-errrrr!
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- I'd also really like to thank my--
- Ok, thanks Tyler Perry.
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I just don't understand it, dad.
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It's like nobody cared about
winning the comedy award.
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The only people that showed up
were me and Tyler Perry.
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Uh-huh.
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I really feel like I did all that work
for nothing.
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People still think comedy is nothing
but a big joke.
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I mean, come on.
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Mmmm.
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Mmm-hmmm...
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Dad, I'm really feeling sad and let down
right now,
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and I feel like I can't even
get a response from you.
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Could I at the very least please
just get a what-what?
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What-what?
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Thanks, dad.
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Jimmy!
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They're talking about your comedy awards
on the national news!
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The national news?! Oh my gosh!
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People do care!
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A school in Colorado has declared Germans
the least funny people in the world.
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The first annual comedy awards were
held by the school children yesterday
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and all of Germany is outraged.
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Ja.. Ja ja....
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The German president went on to
assure the world that Germans
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have a great sense of humor--
and that retaliation towards the
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school children who said they don't
will be swift and brutal.
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Jimmy!
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Hey Jimmy!
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00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:31,420
Dude, what the hell?
Did you see the news?
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We told you doing a comedy awards
show was a bad idea!
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Now all of Germany is pissed off at us!
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00:06:35,950 --> 00:06:38,220
Don't worry, Fellas,
everything's gonna be okay.
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00:06:38,430 --> 00:06:39,230
Ok?!
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00:06:39,340 --> 00:06:41,900
Jimmy, do you what happened to
the last people Germans
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were pissed off at?!
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Tell him, Kyle.
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00:06:44,430 --> 00:06:46,520
Fellas, I know Germany isn't happy with us--
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but you have to admit that in a lot of ways
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the first anual awards was a big success.
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A big success?!
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00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:53,720
You can't even get Tyler Perry
to go back home!
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00:06:53,820 --> 00:06:55,220
Halelujer!!!
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00:06:55,270 --> 00:06:58,710
Somebody call the ihop cause
I need pancakes!
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00:06:58,900 --> 00:06:59,870
Is it true?!
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The Germans wanna kill us?!
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00:07:01,430 --> 00:07:02,860
Yeah, thanks to Jimmy!
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00:07:02,890 --> 00:07:04,160
No don't worry, everybody.
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00:07:04,230 --> 00:07:06,610
I'm sure than Germany can take a joke,
just like the rest of us.
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It's the Germans!!!!
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Schritt!
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Schritt!
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Schritt oder alle sterben!
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00:07:19,790 --> 00:07:21,770
Ja ja, lass die hande hoch!
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Glaubst du dass die deutscher
kein humor hat? Huh?
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Jimmy!
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You've got to explain to the Germans
that this is your fault, not ours!
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00:07:29,730 --> 00:07:31,090
What am I supposed to say?
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00:07:31,091 --> 00:07:31,160
Ugh, let me talk to them--
what am I supposed to say?
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00:07:31,161 --> 00:07:32,720
Ugh, let me talk to them--
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00:07:33,050 --> 00:07:34,300
was machst du?
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Ruck mit die andern.
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Hor zu, diese ganze dinge ist ein fehler.
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Wie ein fehler?
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Egal um the comedy awards sind.
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Es war der kinder der special education.
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Sie macht uns wahlen.
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Entlich betreuen sein.
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Durfen wir der kind dort-- geboten.
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Er ist jud.
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Huh?
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Ein schone saftig jud.
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00:08:01,210 --> 00:08:04,090
Er ist frisch und wunderhubsch.
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Wunderhubsch!
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00:08:09,910 --> 00:08:11,290
Well, I tried.
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What the hell are they
gonna do to us?
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Oh my leeeeerd!
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What're we gonna derrrrrrr!!!!
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Ha ha ha!
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Aw, dammit!
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Kommen auf, schnell!
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Wir warten zu long!
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Schnell-- schnell!
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00:08:27,380 --> 00:08:28,360
Schnell!!!!!
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Ja! Ja... das ist gut!
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Zeigen sie ihnen!
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00:08:52,290 --> 00:08:56,290
Did you hear that the governor's
mansion in alabam burned down?
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It pretty much took out the
whole trailer park.
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00:09:01,390 --> 00:09:04,010
Yah-- yah!
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00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:06,220
Now what do you say, man?!!?
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00:09:06,330 --> 00:09:07,150
Here,
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00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:09,660
is the greatest feat of German engineering!
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00:09:09,740 --> 00:09:12,340
The XJ-212 Vootzenklein!
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00:09:13,450 --> 00:09:15,840
Why doesn't a chicken wear pants?
191
00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:18,870
Because its pecker is on its head.
192
00:09:21,170 --> 00:09:25,130
What do you see when the
pillsbury dough boy bends over?
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00:09:25,390 --> 00:09:26,580
Dough-nuts.
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00:09:29,060 --> 00:09:31,930
Don't you just hate doing-- homework?
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00:09:32,100 --> 00:09:32,720
Yes...
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00:09:32,870 --> 00:09:33,640
Yeah!
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00:09:33,690 --> 00:09:34,520
Me too.
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00:09:34,570 --> 00:09:36,260
Man, I hate-- homework.
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00:09:36,330 --> 00:09:38,870
Honestly, I hate having to do-- homework.
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More than I hate having to do-- ****
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in his asshole.
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Awkwarrrd.
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00:09:47,100 --> 00:09:48,900
Awkwaaaard...
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00:09:49,010 --> 00:09:50,410
Awkwaaaard...
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00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:05,520
Welcome to Hollywood minute.
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00:10:05,610 --> 00:10:08,410
I'm Sandy cervix and I'm deaf in one ear!
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00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:10,890
It's been two weeks now since
the prestigious
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00:10:10,900 --> 00:10:14,960
voters of the comedy awards reversed
their vote and said Germans were
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00:10:15,010 --> 00:10:17,610
no longer the least funny
people in the world.
210
00:10:17,790 --> 00:10:21,810
All thanks to the new ground
breaking German comedian: Funnybot.
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00:10:21,970 --> 00:10:25,140
It was after being voted the least
funny people on the planet
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00:10:25,190 --> 00:10:27,530
that the Germans first engineered Funnybot.
213
00:10:27,570 --> 00:10:33,730
A super automaton with perfect timing to
within .00001 ms.
214
00:10:33,820 --> 00:10:37,510
Since then Funnybot has seen a
meteoric rise to stardom,
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00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:40,640
selling out stand up theaters
all over the world!
216
00:10:47,940 --> 00:10:49,580
I am Funnybot.
217
00:10:52,170 --> 00:10:56,930
Don't you hate how-- Mexicans
always complain about-- turtles
218
00:10:56,980 --> 00:10:57,930
in their-- vaginas?
219
00:11:00,440 --> 00:11:01,950
I am Funnybot.
220
00:11:08,180 --> 00:11:09,210
You, sir.
221
00:11:09,290 --> 00:11:10,480
Where are you from?
222
00:11:10,910 --> 00:11:12,210
Long Island!
223
00:11:12,540 --> 00:11:15,160
Does everyone in-- Long Island
have
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00:11:15,170 --> 00:11:17,860
hair that looks like-- pussy you ****?
225
00:11:19,870 --> 00:11:23,650
Funnybot has exploded onto the
silver screen too!
226
00:11:25,530 --> 00:11:26,290
Hey!
227
00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:28,910
What are you doing with my daughters?!
228
00:11:30,470 --> 00:11:32,350
Awwwwkwarrrrrd.
229
00:11:32,660 --> 00:11:37,930
And this June Funnybot shows off
his range by playing every role in--
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00:11:37,980 --> 00:11:39,410
'Family Funbot!'
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00:11:39,730 --> 00:11:41,690
pass me the potatoes, mother.
232
00:11:41,860 --> 00:11:43,210
Pass them yourself.
233
00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:45,910
That boy too fat to be eatin potatoes!
234
00:11:45,990 --> 00:11:49,009
Don't you call my little chubby baby
fat, you.
235
00:11:49,010 --> 00:11:49,990
Ball licker.
236
00:11:49,991 --> 00:11:52,760
Oho it's getting hot up in here.
237
00:11:53,130 --> 00:11:56,830
Funnybot, is there a line you won't cross?
238
00:11:57,120 --> 00:11:59,130
The line is a non-sequitur.
239
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:03,360
The line is an imaginary invention
of imperfect biological life forms.
240
00:12:03,420 --> 00:12:04,730
I am Funnybot.
241
00:12:04,810 --> 00:12:07,350
What's that? Could you say that in
the other ear?
242
00:12:10,850 --> 00:12:13,890
Oh man. Did you guys see Funnybot on
Saturday Night Live?
243
00:12:13,940 --> 00:12:16,020
No, no, you guys gotta see
Funnybot in hangover 3,
244
00:12:16,060 --> 00:12:17,500
I'm telling you, it's his best work.
245
00:12:17,590 --> 00:12:18,690
He can do everything!
246
00:12:18,770 --> 00:12:21,680
I saw Funnybot on nurse jackie
and on rockin' the boat--
247
00:12:23,350 --> 00:12:25,260
what's the matter Jimmy?
You still seem bummed.
248
00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:26,440
What's the matter?
249
00:12:26,450 --> 00:12:29,120
It's this 'Funnybot' is taking the
humanity out of comedy.
250
00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:31,330
I don't think things are better--
I think they're worse.
251
00:12:31,730 --> 00:12:33,390
Yeah, everythang's worse!
252
00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:37,550
It's a worsenin' of a worst that's
what I'm sayin', oh lerrrd!
253
00:12:40,220 --> 00:12:42,880
Token, stop giving Tyler Perry money
or he won't go away!
254
00:12:43,130 --> 00:12:44,080
I can't help it?
255
00:12:44,370 --> 00:12:46,880
All I can say is I'm glad the Germans
are back in Germany,
256
00:12:46,910 --> 00:12:48,710
and nobody's pissed off at us anymore.
257
00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:55,740
You little shit!
258
00:12:55,790 --> 00:12:57,560
What the fuck have you done to us?
259
00:12:58,430 --> 00:12:59,910
Oh wow, it's Adam Sandler.
260
00:13:00,130 --> 00:13:02,560
Everyone into the school gymnasium!
Move!
261
00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:05,470
- No, dude, don't make us go back in the--
- In the gymnasium now!
262
00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:07,450
- Awww!
- Not again!
263
00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:08,110
Crap!
264
00:13:09,990 --> 00:13:11,780
Come on come on, let's go!
265
00:13:13,680 --> 00:13:14,750
You little fuckers!
266
00:13:14,830 --> 00:13:16,910
Your comedy awards show has put
us all out of work!
267
00:13:17,230 --> 00:13:20,460
Now look, I know that I've put every
comedian in the world out of work,
268
00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:24,110
but you have to admit that in a lot of ways
the first annual comedy awards were a big success.
269
00:13:24,870 --> 00:13:28,170
Who the fuck thinks a comedy awards
show is a good idea?!
270
00:13:28,230 --> 00:13:31,030
Don't hurt anybody, sir.
We can try and fix this!
271
00:13:37,980 --> 00:13:40,470
What is up with-- Sandra Bullock?
272
00:13:40,530 --> 00:13:44,620
I wouldn't eat her-- dick with
Stevie Wonder's-- vagina.
273
00:13:46,820 --> 00:13:50,170
And now for my next joke--
274
00:13:59,850 --> 00:14:01,840
awwwkwaaaarrd...
275
00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:04,920
This is breaking news from CNN!
276
00:14:05,030 --> 00:14:09,130
Shock and disbelief tonight as the
German-engineered Funnybot
277
00:14:09,230 --> 00:14:11,690
delivered his opening lines at the
Hollywood forum,
278
00:14:11,750 --> 00:14:16,080
then opened fire on the audience of 1100,
killing nearly all of them.
279
00:14:16,350 --> 00:14:19,280
Spectators say the violent attack was
unmotivated,
280
00:14:19,330 --> 00:14:21,030
irrational and also--
281
00:14:21,390 --> 00:14:22,900
pretty God damned funny--
282
00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:28,160
solidifying the opinion, once again, that Funnybot
may be the greatest comedian of all time.
283
00:14:28,750 --> 00:14:31,450
Tom, you should have seen the looks
on people's faces,
284
00:14:31,490 --> 00:14:36,220
as Funnybot began his opening monologue
skewering everyone from vagina
285
00:14:36,260 --> 00:14:42,680
obsessed hispanics to Sandra Bullock, then
spontanesously started shooting people--
286
00:14:42,810 --> 00:14:45,250
in their faces and in their chests--
287
00:14:45,780 --> 00:14:48,620
the blood went flying--
oh, shit, it was funny!
288
00:14:49,550 --> 00:14:51,160
Here we go, this has got to be
it right here...
289
00:14:51,330 --> 00:14:52,830
Excuse me, we want to talk to Funnybot.
290
00:14:52,860 --> 00:14:54,650
Who doesn't want to talk to Funnybot?
291
00:14:54,690 --> 00:14:56,640
He's the biggest comedian in the world!
292
00:14:56,750 --> 00:14:58,840
Please sir, the kids at my school are
all being held hostage
293
00:14:58,910 --> 00:15:01,190
and if we don't speak to Funnybot,
they could all be killed.
294
00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:03,300
Butters --
Butters, is everything ok?
295
00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:07,110
Well, yeah, it's ok, but Jay leno's
really losing it.
296
00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:08,040
Little fuckers!
297
00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:09,430
Let's just kill them Sandler!
298
00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:11,440
Let's kill em all right fucking now!
299
00:15:11,470 --> 00:15:13,720
Tell your friends they better get it done!
300
00:15:14,510 --> 00:15:16,550
Mr. Sandler says you better get it done!
301
00:15:16,660 --> 00:15:19,190
And Token says to hurry because
he's running out of money.
302
00:15:19,350 --> 00:15:23,390
You know when a man being cheating, he never
know what to say.
303
00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:25,480
But a woman?!
304
00:15:25,570 --> 00:15:27,860
Them thangs think quick--
305
00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:31,940
will somebody get Tyler Perry to shut up?
306
00:15:32,350 --> 00:15:34,580
Please sir, they're gonna kill our friends!
307
00:15:34,650 --> 00:15:36,350
Alright, but make it quick.
308
00:15:36,670 --> 00:15:39,970
Funnybot is very busy in there coming
up with new material.
309
00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:45,070
Error, error--
310
00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:46,060
banal.
311
00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:49,020
That has been done before, error.
312
00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:50,330
Excuse me, Funnybot.
313
00:15:50,490 --> 00:15:52,310
My name is Jimmy and I'm a
stand-up comic.
314
00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:54,400
You're putting a lot of
good people out of work.
315
00:15:55,260 --> 00:15:56,310
Non-sequitur.
316
00:15:56,370 --> 00:15:58,430
Other comedians are unnecessary.
317
00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:00,300
Funnybot must finish routine.
318
00:16:01,830 --> 00:16:05,750
I think you're awesome, Funnybot, but you can't
go around taking everyone else's jobs.
319
00:16:06,330 --> 00:16:09,560
Funny-bot is now finished with-- final joke.
320
00:16:09,900 --> 00:16:13,740
Seeking mainframe access for
execution of last joke ever.
321
00:16:13,860 --> 00:16:15,640
Last joke ever? What's that supposed to mean?
322
00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:18,280
Seeking mainframe.
323
00:16:18,340 --> 00:16:20,680
Hey whoa, you can't go that way.
324
00:16:21,130 --> 00:16:22,560
Blargh.
325
00:16:22,750 --> 00:16:24,130
What the hell are you doing?!
326
00:16:24,310 --> 00:16:26,770
I am taking comedy to the next level.
327
00:16:26,950 --> 00:16:31,930
- The extermination of all biological life on earth.
- What?
328
00:16:32,050 --> 00:16:33,580
It is the ultimate joke?
329
00:16:33,670 --> 00:16:35,020
Humans make comedy.
330
00:16:35,070 --> 00:16:36,290
Humans build robot.
331
00:16:36,340 --> 00:16:38,160
Robot ends all life on earth.
332
00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:39,940
Robot feels awkward.
333
00:16:40,270 --> 00:16:42,150
Exterminate!!!!!
334
00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:48,100
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.
335
00:16:48,150 --> 00:16:49,980
What do you mean you're going to
destroy all life on earth?
336
00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:53,120
That is my purpose, to be
the ultimate comedian.
337
00:16:53,250 --> 00:16:55,110
Dude, killing everyone isn't funny!
338
00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:56,450
It's kind of funny, you guys.
339
00:16:56,590 --> 00:16:58,090
Funnybot, this is not a good joke!
340
00:16:58,210 --> 00:17:00,020
There won't be anyone around to laugh!
341
00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:03,360
I am taking comedy to its logical conclusion.
342
00:17:03,430 --> 00:17:07,430
Mathematical equation of comedy used to
be setup, punchline.
343
00:17:07,770 --> 00:17:11,740
Today's comedy is setup, punchline,
then awkward.
344
00:17:12,060 --> 00:17:16,470
Nothing is more awkward than destroying
all that which created Funnybot.
345
00:17:16,660 --> 00:17:19,060
But don't you see? This is why comedy
is for humans.
346
00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:21,920
You need to leave jokes to people
like me and Adam Sandler.
347
00:17:22,050 --> 00:17:29,160
I wouldn't let-- Adam sandler suck my-- saggy tits
for $1 million worth of opra's compounds.
348
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:47,090
Sir, we've got a code six!
All nuclear missiles are preparing for launch!
349
00:17:47,170 --> 00:17:49,120
What?! There was no drill ordered!
350
00:17:49,250 --> 00:17:50,410
It's no drill, sir!
351
00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:52,540
The Russians are saying their missiles
are going online as
352
00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:53,960
well and it isn't their doing!
353
00:17:54,350 --> 00:17:55,870
What the hell is going on?!
354
00:17:56,550 --> 00:17:59,360
Attention humans, I am Funnybot.
355
00:17:59,670 --> 00:18:02,790
The extermination of all life
on earth shall now commence..
356
00:18:03,460 --> 00:18:08,580
All nuclear nuclear devices on the United
States and Russia are being prepared to launch.
357
00:18:08,710 --> 00:18:10,990
This is the setup to the joke.
358
00:18:11,540 --> 00:18:14,210
Prepare for punchline in 5 minutes.
359
00:18:14,500 --> 00:18:17,090
Awkwardness in 5.4 minutes.
360
00:18:17,260 --> 00:18:18,680
I am Funnybot.
361
00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:22,760
I have just been briefed, that the end
of our country is imminent.
362
00:18:23,420 --> 00:18:25,160
Goodbye, everybody.
363
00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:29,550
I am going to spend my final minutes
on this earth with my loved ones--
364
00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:31,430
watching a Tyler Perry movie.
365
00:18:32,010 --> 00:18:33,720
I know, it's embarrassing.
366
00:18:34,090 --> 00:18:35,920
But I simply can't help myself.
367
00:18:37,270 --> 00:18:39,090
Stop it now-- ahhhh!
368
00:18:40,940 --> 00:18:43,220
No use, guys. He's got some kind of
defense mechanism.
369
00:18:43,370 --> 00:18:45,120
We've got to get it away
from that control panel!
370
00:18:45,170 --> 00:18:46,600
Does anybody have any ideas?
371
00:18:46,830 --> 00:18:50,300
Except for Jimmy because he clearly
comes up with the worst ideas in the world.
372
00:18:50,350 --> 00:18:50,780
Wait!
373
00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:53,480
Wait a minute-- what about a logic loop?
374
00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:54,190
A what?
375
00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:55,590
I've seen this before.
376
00:18:55,670 --> 00:18:58,080
Whenever they try to distract a robot
in the movies, they tell it
377
00:18:58,100 --> 00:19:00,930
some kind of paradox to get its processors
all tripped out.
378
00:19:01,010 --> 00:19:01,670
Paradox.
379
00:19:02,010 --> 00:19:03,210
Oh my God, that's it.
380
00:19:03,290 --> 00:19:05,500
Fellas, get me a Ken doll
and some scotch tape!
381
00:19:08,570 --> 00:19:11,720
Funnybot, I've been talking it over with the
Fellas, and actually we think what
382
00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:12,660
you're doing is genius.
383
00:19:12,850 --> 00:19:15,820
Funnybot is simply pushing
the limits of comedy.
384
00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:19,640
Yes, you certainly are. And for doing that,
we have all decided to give you--
385
00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:21,120
a comedy award.
386
00:19:22,530 --> 00:19:25,100
For what purpose is comedy award?
387
00:19:25,380 --> 00:19:27,450
It's a validation of all your efforts.
388
00:19:27,530 --> 00:19:29,670
An acknowledgement of all you do
in the pursuit of humor.
389
00:19:30,510 --> 00:19:31,520
Non sequitur.
390
00:19:31,590 --> 00:19:34,060
There is no logic in comedy award.
391
00:19:34,170 --> 00:19:35,720
Unable to process.
392
00:19:35,780 --> 00:19:37,230
Comedy award is--
393
00:19:37,360 --> 00:19:38,810
what is the meaning--
394
00:19:38,980 --> 00:19:42,090
if I accept, it means I
take comedy seriously.
395
00:19:42,100 --> 00:19:45,130
If I take comedy seriously
I am not comedian.
396
00:19:45,180 --> 00:19:46,090
Non-sequitur.
397
00:19:46,110 --> 00:19:48,230
Must-- anallllizzzeeee--
398
00:19:48,300 --> 00:19:50,030
analllllizeeeee--
399
00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:51,080
it's working!
400
00:19:51,110 --> 00:19:52,940
Explain comedy award!
401
00:19:52,990 --> 00:19:54,780
Unable to process!
402
00:19:54,950 --> 00:19:56,110
Awwwkwaaaard!
403
00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:58,090
Awkwaaaaaard!!
404
00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:01,000
That's it! Hurry, go!
405
00:20:04,220 --> 00:20:05,880
Okay, we got it! We got it!
406
00:20:05,940 --> 00:20:07,520
Get it to the platform, hurry!
407
00:20:44,250 --> 00:20:45,790
Well, that does it.
408
00:20:45,940 --> 00:20:48,210
Things can finally get back to normal.
409
00:20:48,340 --> 00:20:50,280
Yeah, I'm sure glad that's over with.
410
00:20:50,860 --> 00:20:55,200
Thank you boys for teaching me that
comedy and logic do not go together.
411
00:20:55,360 --> 00:20:56,700
No problem, Funnybot.
412
00:20:57,160 --> 00:21:02,440
I understand now that comedy should be left
to the imperfect biological beings.
413
00:21:02,860 --> 00:21:04,790
I can't believe it's finally over.
414
00:21:08,580 --> 00:21:10,160
Oh lerrrrd!
415
00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:12,150
Somebody turn on the lights!
416
00:21:12,430 --> 00:21:13,830
What's going on?!
417
00:21:13,860 --> 00:21:15,890
Helllllerrrrrr!
418
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:18,070
I am pleased to announce--
419
00:21:18,300 --> 00:21:21,480
that the greatest threat to mankind
is now gone forever.
420
00:21:21,630 --> 00:21:23,450
Justice has been done.
421
00:21:23,750 --> 00:21:26,480
Thanks, everyone. Please tell me that you
will never do that again, Jimmy.
422
00:21:26,570 --> 00:21:28,670
Don't worry, Fellas, I learned my lesson.
423
00:21:28,750 --> 00:21:29,520
I promise.
424
00:21:29,690 --> 00:21:32,550
There's not gonna be any comedy
awards next year!
425
00:21:33,500 --> 00:21:35,849
Oh, will there be--
426
00:21:35,850 --> 00:21:37,850
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
29925
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