Original subtitles

The pictures didn't do it justice.

Oh.

- I sense danger. - It's fine.

I'm fine.

Were you carsick?

- Of course not. - Of course I wasn't carsick.

That's...

Richard, I'm not sure you fully understand

what you're walking into here.

There are countless unknowns.

I can handle this, okay?

Please, just give me some credit.

There's gonna be crying.

I'm having trouble believing how great this is.

You comin'?

Whoa! Good Lord.

Claire.

Oh, poor thing.

Well, at least it was quick.

It's a clean thoracic tear.

We should give him a proper burial.

I feel like I just lost my bearings.

Oh, thanks.

Yeah.

Oh, this is charming.

Oh, the water works.

Good.

I don't know if the stove works.

Maybe they have take-out menus.

Ah, listen!

Come here, come here, come here.

There she is, the mighty sea.

Still in there.

Wow.

- Yeah? - Yeah, yeah.

That's so... that's...

I'm gonna look around.

Oh, they've got plenty of towels.

We didn't need to bring any.

Oh, well.

The fuse box is in the linen closet, Richard.

Oh, there's a skylight.

Richard?

The couch

could be a problem.

Don't fixate.

You're right.

Wonderful, everything.

Good, that's right.

You want to grab the luggage out of the car?

I'll do it.

Phil Turley is very concerned, Claire,

about the community's efforts to protect the nesting grounds

of the native tern.

As he should be.

Listen, I put all my numbers

on the top sheet of that memo pad by the phone,

so if you want to tear that off and tape it up somewhere.

I'm in surgery from 9:00 till noon.

So I'll check in after that, okay?

Great, good.

Are you sure you don't want to rent a car?

Didn't they say there was a bike?

I'll dig it out of the garage.

It's ten minutes to town.

This will be ideal.

Okay, it's up to you.

So what does your schedule look like for tomorrow?

I'll start at the very beginning.

That's a very good place to start.

Speaking of which...

Close your eyes.

Okay, you can open them.

Oh.

Mark just got one of these.

He said a five-year-old could use it.

Richard, use your words.

Actually, I was thinking of writing on the Corona.

Oh.

No, but this is good.

No, this is... you're right.

This is better.

Yeah.

Okay.

Richard.

These fabrics.

Oh, I talked to Peter and Lucy,

and they said they might come out the weekend of the 2nd.

Great, great.

Who?

Peter and Lucy?

Oh, good, yeah.

They're always fun.

Yeah, yeah.

You didn't bring...

you didn't bring him out here, did you?

What? No.

No, of course not.

No. Okay.

All right.

Have a productive week, okay?

Save some lives!

Ding!

Beep!

Hot wheels.

Let go of me.

Do you remember the time

that you ran over the neighbor's guinea pig, Little Fluff?

No, I do not.

Now will you let me go?

Look, we both know that you're not equipped to deal

with your current circumstances.

And until you prove otherwise, I feel compelled to be on hand.

- Could you step aside? - I have things to do.

I sense danger.

Would you stop saying that?

Be careful!

Why aren't you a cheerleader, anyway?

'Cause I'm not.

Later.

You could so easily be a cheerleader.

You could so easily drop dead.

Ugh!

Oh, no!

No, it's not like that.

Hand soap?

No, it's for your wheels.

The squeaks drive me nuts.

It's a nice bike, though.

I used to have one of these when I was your age.

So how come you're following me?

I'm not.

Are too.

I'm not.

I'm not.

Are too. How come?

- Well, I was just... - I kind of...

I just moved into town.

And I need a babysitter.

I just thought... you know,

I thought maybe you might know somebody who...

Yeah, okay.

When do you need me for?

Oh, um...

Friday night.

6:00.

Address and phone number?

18 Sag Harbor Road.

I don't know the phone number yet.

Sorry.

All right, I'll see you Friday.

I'm Mister...

I'm Richard.

Ding!

Merton regarded his solitude as something sacred.

Merton regarded his solitude as something 3...

Face it.

You can't live without me.

Do you mind?

I'm communing with nature here.

Why are you so incapable of believing

I can do things perfectly fine on my own?

Because you never have.

Excuse me?

Oh, Richard, Richard, Richard.

How many times, huh?

Huh? How many times?

"I'm gonna go through these ballet lessons alone."

Do not mock me.

"I'm gonna, like, go through the college years, like, alone."

Okay, that...

"You know, I don't need you, Captain.

I'm gonna resuscitate my half-dead marriage alone."

Zip it. You kindly zip it.

Please, for once in your life, go it alone.

Gladlyl Good day, sir.

A good day.

You just don't like it because I'm on an upswing.

Oh, my God.

Merton regarded his solitude as something sacred.

Merton?

Burton.

Milton? Milton.

Milton regarded his solitude as something sacred.

Hey.

Sorry, I'm a little early.

No, no problem.

I'm sorry, I forgot your name.

Oh, that's okay.

I forgot yours too,

but I was thinking that it was Paul

or Steve or Dave, maybe?

Richard.

Oh, okay.

That works.

Oh, here.

It's a Love-A-Lot for the kid.

Oh, well...

Actually...

Um, so you just moved here?

Where from?

Just the city.

Oh.

Yeah, it's only temporary.

My wife Claire is at New York Presbyterian.

She's a vascular surgeon.

Oh, wow.

Is that her?

She's cute.

Oh, yeah, that's the doctor.

My parents went through a trial separation once too.

What? Oh, no, no. No, no, no.

That's not what's happening here.

No, that's... no.

That's...

I don't... is it?

Well, you should probably find out.

Huh.

Is it sleeping, the baby?

The thing about that baby is...

are you thirsty?

Um, no.

Oh, look.

The baby is not here.

What do you mean?

Basically, I guess,

there is no baby...

as such.

There's no kid?

Nope.

Well, shit.

Then this will be easy.

So when do you think you'll be home?

Oh, 9:00, 9:30.

Okay, I got a lot of homework.

So have fun.

Okay.

Chickenshit.

”Self-loathing is an underrated form

"'of psychological checks and balances:

"Never too high, never too low, '

"thought Merton to himself

as he gazed into the rapidly reddening bathwater."

Jesus.

Don't say it.

Say what?

I know what you're thinking.

No, you don't.

I was thinking about pantaloons.

What are you doing?

You ass!

How did you get in here?

The door was open,

which is extremely unsafe, by the way.

You don't need to keep checking up on me.

Isn't this the guy you said was following you?

Who does that?

You do.

It's just babysitting.

Where's the kid?

He doesn't have a kid.

Abby, this guy is a perv.

We got to get out of here now.

Okay, he's a famous writer, okay?

Get a life.

You are my life.

You've got a problem with men.

No, I have got a problem with you.

- What about Bryce? - What about him?

He treats you like shit.

- When? - Always.

- No. - Yes.

Shut up.

Oh, you are not.

I'm not what?

What are you doing?

Making soup.

You've known this stalker guy five minutes.

You're already making him soup?

I told you, Christopher.

He is a writer.

I love you.

What are you doing out here?

I told her 9:00, 9:30.

No, I mean what are you doing out here with the girl?

Nothing.

That doesn't strike you as odd somehow?

A babysitter?

I'm under a lot of pressure, okay, to produce.

People expect literature:

The doctor, my publisher.

I've got three months,

three months to crack this thing.

And the girl helps how?

Was I popular in high school, in retrospect?

And the girl helps how?

Do you have to question every decision I make?

Make better decisions.

Just do the voice.

Oh.

Oh, now he needs me.

At this juncture, yes.

- Juncture? - Yes.

- Oh. - Yes, just do it.

When the world is in peril,

when evil surrounds you,

when danger is lurking,

who do you call?

Captain Excellent!

I'm bolstered!

There's something out there in the woods.

Oh, my God.

The wolf. Didn't you hear?

It escaped from the zoo this morning.

There's a zoo here?

No, I'm just...

Well, whatever it is, I won't let it get you.

Come on, there's soup.

What?

Yeah, I made soup.

I thought that you might be cold.

What did you do tonight?

I went to the shore, did some thinking.

Oh, for three hours in the freezing cold?

You made this?

Yeah.

How?

I don't know.

A couple of carrots,

an onion, one of your beers.

Oh, I hope that's okay.

I just kind of helped myself.

No, it's fantastic.

Oh, well, you haven't even tasted it yet.

No, no, no, I mean, the fact of it is fantastic,

that you made something from nothing.

Oh, you can, you know,

kind of make soup out of anything.

That's the great thing about it.

Just whatever's left laying around, you know.

You can take all the crap

that's rotting in your fridge and throw out,

or you could toss it into a pot and make soup out of it.

So I go with soup.

Oh.

It's superb.

Thank you.

No, really.

It's excellent.

Do you remember the moment when you realized

that soup didn't have to come out of a can,

you know, like all manufactured,

that your chicken noodle could kick.

Campbell's chicken noodle's ass any day of the week?

I think I'm having that moment right now.

Plus, it's very nutritious,

which is good.

What... what happened there?

Oh.

Sorry.

It's just... it's a boyfriend thing.

Just, um,

the bird kind of reminded me of him.

He's chickenshit.

Oh.

Actually, it's not a chicken.

It's the North American heath hen.

Related to the greater prairie chicken,

but not technically a chicken.

Oh.

It's extinct now.

The last few lived out here

out on the nature preserve at Camp Hero.

Hmm.

I did not know that.

I'm not a birder or anything.

It's just, the last surviving heath hen

is a character in...

In what?

That bird's just...

it's the main character of this book that,

you know, I'm attempting to produce, to write,

finish.

Actually, to start.

Saying it out loud just sounded kind of stupid.

Well, there's Chicken Little,

you know, and Little Red Hen.

Henny Penny.

Yeah, exactly.

Exactly.

Oh, you know, there's a lot of books out there

about poultry.

We should settle up.

Okay.

Is that about right?

Actually, I'm $12 an hour.

Oh, okay.

I only have a $10.

Do you have change?

Let me check.

So how come your boyfriend's a chickenshit?

None of my business.

Sorry.

No, he just...

He just bugs.

You know, it's like when he's with me, it's all,

"Oh, you know."

And when he's with his friends, he's all, "Ugh, whatever."

It's just... you know, he's a fucking chickenshit.

Right.

Okay, so thank you.

Mmm-hmm.

Thank you.

Can I ask you a quick question?

Sure.

Does this couch make me look fat?

I wouldn't sit there.

Hmm.

So okay.

Good luck with the chicken book.

Same time next week?

Um...

Okay.

You didn't tell me your name.

Richard?

Richard.

Are we separated?

What?

Is this a trial separation, what we're doing?

What makes you think that?

I don't know.

Our separateness.

Sweetie, if we were separating,

you'd be the first to know.

G

Well, we would have discussed it.

Trust me.

Okay.

Whew, good.

It just moved.

Well, that's not possible.

It's been boiled to death.

Poor little Louie.

Well, don't name it, Richard.

I mean, do whatever you want.

No, don't... don't name your food.

Here.

Oh.

There. Okay?

Hmm?

There you go.

Hmm?

If only everything in the world

could be covered in butter.

What a world that would be.

I guess.

What a buttery world.

He any good?

I don't know.

It's kind of wordy.

So what does the tenderer render?

I haven't gotten to that part yet.

Well, let me know.

I'm sure it's something brilliant.

What were you doing in my gym class?

Nothing.

You think I didn't see you?

I was just there for moral support.

I suck at volleyball.

You do not.

I suck at everything.

No, you don't.

You're fantastic across the board.

Would you just shut up?

We never go out anymore.

Look, you got to leave, okay?

I'm meeting Bryce later.

He's beneath you, you know.

Why you got to wear so much shit?

'Cause it's freezing in here.

Run the heater.

You want to pay for the gas?

Are you done?

Yeah.

See you later.

Okay.

Well, just go for it.

I... I... I'm going.

Okay, well, he's dead now.

Why don't you go?

Damn it. It's your turn.

I don't know how you do this all day.

I mean, there's so much pressure.

Well, it's just a game.

- I know. - No one's dying here.

Go ahead.

We can play something else.

- No, it's fine. - It's... you know.

All right.

Let's see.

That one's on my side.

Yeah.

Well, that was fun.

Yes, it was.

Fun-packed weekend.

Okay, well, have a productive week.

And I'll see you on the 15th.

Yeah.

What?

You're standing.

Oh.

Really?

Really?

That's enough of that.

You remember when you stuck that dime up your nose

and tried to snort it out your mouth?

The cowboy outfit for your seventh grade school picture?

You remember?

The horny toads, the hunger strike?

I cautioned you against those decisions,

but you didn't listen to me,

which is fine, 'cause you were just a kid.

But now it's grow-up time.

The babysitter?

Bad, Richard.

Very, very bad, Richard.

That chair's gonna be a problem.

Sakes alive.

“Making the monkey.

"A humorous monkey is popular in zoological gardens."

"For example, it is lovely that you make a baby monkey"

"with small paper and that you put it on a mother monkey."

"Fold A. Top right corner."

Why origami?

Why now?

I needed something to do with my hands.

I'm having trouble telling which is the monkey

and which is the swan.

Oh, that can't be all of them.

No, no, there's a bunch more in the truck.

Oh, great.

Start bringing them in.

Horton r...

Richard, Richard,

for the love of God, don't do this please.

Listen to me.

You're making a huge mistake.

You're going for it.

It's Abby.

My name.

Oh, you got rid of the couch.

Yeah, the couch was a problem.

Um...

This is for you.

Oh.

It's...

it's a fish.

A dead fish.

A whole dead fish.

Yeah.

My dad fishes, like, for a living.

It's a fluke.

In what sense?

It's called a fluke.

It's... the water around here is swimming with them.

Ah, yeah.

So it's edible?

Yeah.

A fluke.

That's great.

Thanks.

So I read that book you wrote.

I hope that's okay.

Reading my book?

Of course.

You may be one of the few.

So are you going out tonight?

Out on the town?

Uh, I don't know.

What do the people of Montauk do on a Friday night?

The Yardarm's totally dead.

So you'd probably like that.

It's down by the harbor.

You can't miss it.

What did you think of the book?

I don't know.

What did you think of it?

Me? Oh, I...

you know, it's got its strengths,

got its moments.

I hate it.

You should probably put that fish in the fridge,

'cause it'll stink up the whole house.

Trust me. I know.

What?

Soup ingredients.

You know, if you feel like it.

You bought me a rutabaga.

You're making this too easy on me.

Well, like I said, you know, if you feel like it.

No pressure.

Your book was cool, actually.

It kind of blew me away.

You planning on having something to eat?

Thanks, no.

I've got soup at home: Homemade.

Can't beat that.

Another beer?

Sure.

So what brings you down to the South Shore, then?

A book.

A bird.

A book about a bird.

Research work, you know.

My wife makes a good chowder.

Not so much a clam chowder like you'd expect,

more of a corn chowder.

My Lorraine, she can shuck a dozen oysters

in a minute and a half.

Local Malpeque oyster?

That's the one.

My wife invented and patented a lifesaving polymer shunt.

Shunt, you say?

Shunt.

So there's our heath hen,

hunkered down at Camp Hero.

Just down the road here?

Yep. As game warden...

The Alfred guy.

Yeah, correct.

Alfred is his actual name.

In the book, I am going to call him Horton or Morton.

Anyway, so he's brought his flock of heath hens

back from the brink of extinction.

Awesome.

I mean, he was down to 11 of them.

11, you know, but now with care, and dare I say, love,

and incubators,

he's got 200.

And it's like the hen is saved.

Safe, thank God.

But because our story is a tragedy,

- you know what happens? - What?

Fire.

- No! - Come on!

Oh, yeah, it sweeps across the preserve.

Of course, the heath hen,

not nature's most intelligent bird to begin with...

I hear ya.

She just sits in her nest.

You know, and she doesn't have the sense to run

or fly or waddle.

You know, when the fire runs out,

there's just five birds remaining.

Roast chicken.

What happens to the five?

They dwindle.

They dwindle

till there's just one left, you know?

Just one.

Just one poor stupid little thing.

You know, it's just a stupid bird.

Just one.

It's a true story.

Another round for my friend here, Mike.

Chicken shit.

Oh, you did make soup.

Bless your heart.

Oh.

Mm, oh.

Such a small act of kindness,

but I can't tell you what that means to me.

Well, it's no big deal.

It's just soup.

You are such a beautiful girl.

You are such a beautiful child.

You're loaded.

No, no, no, I

well, yes.

Okay, I should go.

Since tonight was a little longer...

You know what I am?

Let me tell you what I am, just in case you're interested.

This is what I am.

What?

I am the only child of an only child

and an only child.

And you know what that means.

No cousins?

It means I am the end of a bloodline,

the last of my kind.

Okay, well, then have some kids.

Said the babysitter.

If you only knew.

Okay.

Look, it's gonna be 60 bucks.

Okay, you should go to bed.

I don't blame her, the doctor.

You know, she's just... she's a human mechanic.

You know, she's got her hands inside human beings every day.

They're just machines to her, you know.

They're machines that break,

like rot factories.

So how can you create life

when you know it's gonna end up in death?

I mean, I get that.

I get it!

I don't blame her, but...

Hey, I'm sorry.

Eh.

See, she doesn't realize that human beings are warm.

You know, they need contact.

They need, you know...

you are such a beautiful girl.

You are such a beautiful child.

Thud!

No, no!

No, no!

Thud!

Shit.

I'm gonna go.

Why are men such dicks?

Beats me.

I just thought he was lonely.

We're all lonely.

I don't know.

Maybe I shouldn't have hit him.

No, you definitely should have.

Okay, would you rather?

I don't want to play.

Oh, come on.

Would you rather

have no TV for a year

or only be able to watch The Golf Channel?

Golf Channel.

Yeah, me too.

At least it's TV.

Your turn.

Okay, would you rather have no friends or no parents?

Claire?

Richard, the couch is outside.

Is it the 15th already?

Are you okay?

Yes, I am.

There's soup in the kitchen.

Have you been making soup?

I'll be right back.

All right.

You made the soup.

What babysitter?

Work is going great, and I'm still not here.

Drink it up.

There you go.

Now get out there.

You know the funny thing about soup?

You get the ingredients basically into the pot

along with the sauce and the... not the sauce.

The juice.

You mean the broth?

Right, right, and then it just needs some cooking.

Richard, is anything wrong?

I'm not...

I'm concerned.

Oh, well, thank you for your concern, Claire.

Speaking of... how are your patients?

Are they doing well?

And what are some of their names?

You know, you've got a bruise right here.

Oh, well, you know, beaten down by life.

You know, winds of change.

Anyway, I want to do some unloading of boxes

if you want to pitch in.

Then we can grab some brunch.

Oh, no, Richard, no.

Are these all...

Oh, yes.

Why?

Why would you do that to yourself?

Well, I just thought as I embarked

on the writing of my second...

my much anticipated second novel,

that I should be reminded of the remarkable,

I mean, really quite noteworthy failure

of my first novel to sell any copies whatsoever.

Richard, I can't go down this road with you.

No, no, no, it's gonna be very motivational, really.

That was smooth.

Hey, I got through it.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

What?

My super senses are telling me something.

- What? - Yes.

I think the doctor may be on to you.

Oh, hush your mouth.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Shit.

What do you want?

I came to see if you were okay,

'cause your head was...

It's fine. I'm fine.

You need to go.

What?

You need to go now.

Well, screw you too.

And you were the one who came on to me,

by the way.

What?

Last night, asshole.

I was gonna apologize for hitting you,

but forget it.

You're a creep.

Wait, Abby.

The doctor's out of her shower, FYI.

Richard, who was that?

Girl scout.

Girl scout.

Oh, okay.

Horton regarded his solitude as something sacred.

Horton, Norton,

Norwood.

Norwood.

Norwood regarded his solitude as S...

How's it coming?

Norwood regarded his solitude as some...

Richard, what's this?

It's a fluke.

In what way?

The fish. It's called a fluke.

The water around here is swimming with them.

Oh, okay.

What were you planning on doing with it?

Do I have to have a plan?

Can't I just have a fish in the house?

Yes, fine. I'm sorry.

I thought we could cook it then eat it.

How's that?

I guess I just hadn't caught up with the fact

that you're a cook now.

Okay, stop. Stop it.

You can stop.

Please stop now.

Stop it.

Stop, stop, please!

Stop!

Abby.

Who the hell is that?

What the hell is she doing?

I don't think I got a chance to pay you the other night.

How's $60?

Keep it.

You don't even have a kid, so...

I think there was kind of a misunderstanding

about some of my actions or intentions.

I'm pretty sure I said some things.

Whatever.

I'm sure you're sorry that you said all that stuff.

I'm not sorry, actually, about all that.

What I'm sorry about is that I was so abrupt at the house.

It was just...

Your wife was there.

Yeah, I figured that out.

Yes, it would have been, you know,

awkward, you know?

No, actually, I don't know.

Well, Claire wouldn't really understand our...

Our what?

Uh...

our friendship.

Abby.

Come on.

We're out of here.

Anyway, I wanted to let you know that I respect you.

And is that Chickenshit?

Yeah.

He's a good-looking guy.

Yeah, he sure thinks so.

You coming or what?

We're going to Turner's house, smoke a jay.

Yeah, just a minute.

I'm Richard.

Look, you said you wanted to hang out more.

You in or out?

It's okay, Abby.

I don't want to keep you from your jay.

Who's your friend with the bike?

Abby's been babysitting for me.

How's Wednesday night?

Sure.

Damn, girl, move your ass.

Sorry.

What's wrong with you?

Richard!

Hello!

Don't you do it!

Richard, are you here?

Yeah, I'll be right there.

Listen to me.

Hey, this won't end well.

Hey, how you doing?

Come on.

I want to show you something.

Great, okay.

I have a problem with my hands.

What do you mean?

They won't do what I want them to do.

What do you want them to do?

Anything.

I don't know, something useful.

I want them to build something or make something.

Like what?

Even Jesus, I mean, he was a carpenter.

You know, it wasn't enough for him to save mankind.

He needed a trade.

I'm a flimsy man, an insubstantial.

Well, compared to Jesus.

I'm a paper man.

No, you're a writer.

Yeah, that's crucial.

No, it is.

Here we are.

Where?

"It is possible to be so at sea

"when life and land have slipped under the horizon.

I quietly wish to never see either again."

Did I write that?

I wrote that.

Hold this.

Abby?

Abby!

Abby!

Come on.

Abby!

Abby.

Abby!

Jesus, what are you doing?

What are you doing?

Come here.

You cannot do this.

You can't do that.

It was me

that dared her to go in.

It was really cold.

It was much, much colder than today.

But you know, she wasn't gonna turn down a dare.

We were like that.

And I had eaten 23 oysters.

Hmm.

So I don't know

why she went in in her clothes.

Um...

I guess maybe we thought it would be warmer.

Kids.

And she was laughing,

and, you know, fine.

And then she was...

And then she was gone.

Just under and gone.

And I just stood there.

And then a couple hours later my mom came

and found me.

And I guess, you know,

I was waiting for her to swim back in.

But she never did.

How old?

Same age as me.

We're twins.

Oh.

Oh, my God.

That was a long time ago.

I like to go out there every year

and swim back to shore.

You know, I like to feel the cold.

It must have...

I don't know what to say.

So we're both only children.

That was our thing every year,

and you know it.

And you take that guy out there on this day.

He didn't even know her.

I know.

Remember when I was the only one that would talk to you

for a long time?

I know, but...

He doesn't love you.

If that's what you think, you're wrong.

What do you want me to say?

I could so move to California.

You shouldn't just assume

I'll always be around, 'cause one day

maybe I won't.

Stop it.

Is that what you want?

I don't have much of a story, do I?

It's all relative, I suppose.

Exactly.

Other people seem to have had events.

Things have happened to them,

life-altering occurrences.

I used to do things.

Remember?

This isn't about you.

Amazing things.

What do you want me to say?

I don't know.

No, no, no, no.

Tell me what you want me to say, literally,

'cause, frankly, at this point, I got nothing.

But you have touched several lives, Richard,

through your work.

It's not about your happiness

but the happiness you've brought to others.

Hey, look, it's the fund-raiser

for the children's hospital tomorrow night.

And I was thinking of donating that bottle of wine,

the '71 Chateau Petrus.

I know we were saving it for a special occasion,

but, well, it's for a good cause.

So what do you think?

Richard, did you drink that wine,

that $5,000 bottle of wine?

It's not in the rack.

It was for the children.

Will you call me, please?

Come in.

Whoa.

Check out the couch.

You like?

I made it with these.

All right!

That's awesome.

- Yeah, sit. - Sit, sit, sit, sit, sit.

Uh!

Huh?

It's nice.

- Oh, those... - just ideas for titles.

For your new book?

- Mm-hmm. - Cool, what have you got?

Uh...

Cloudscape,

Death and Desolation,

The Daffodil.

Memoirs of an Amnesiac,

Bolero.

Bolero?

Okay.

Ad Nauseam,

Balm of Silence.

No?

Old Miss Ptarmigan's Blackberry Wine?

Whoa.

Let's forget it.

Titles are impossible.

Paper Man.

You seem a lot more interesting than me.

I'm not.

It just seems that way because I have a dead sister.

Where you been all day?

I don't know.

Whatever.

So the party's off this weekend.

Turner's mom busted him.

So what about the cove?

It's fucking cold out there.

Big deal.

So the party's off.

What kind of party?

What do mean "What kind of party?"

- A fucking party. - Just nothing.

Just some friends hanging out.

You could use my place.

What?

Seriously?

Yeah, why not?

This weekend's not so good.

My wife's back.

But you know, we could do next week.

Friday?

Friday is cool.

Really?

Yeah, I'll get a keg.

Nice! Nice.

What else do you guys need?

Appetizers, you know, paper plates and stuff?

No, no, no.

We're okay.

We've got it covered.

Great, we're on.

Righteous.

Thanks, man.

You didn't have to do that.

Ah, it'll be fun.

Richard!

Richard?

Richard, please.

Hi.

When the world is in peril,

when evil surrounds you, when dange...

Okay.

Richard, help me.

You don't like it?

All the furniture is outside.

And what the hell is this?

You seem disappointed, going off your body language.

You don't pick up the phone once this week.

You don't call me once.

I drive all the way out here, and there's this.

Richard, say something.

What's this?

What's what?

This. Whose is this?

Will you just tell her?

Claire?

Yes?

Are we unhappy,

or are we just pretending to be unhappy?

What do you mean?

Are we just pretending to be unhappy

to add drama to our lives

so that we seem somehow more substantial?

I mean, think about it.

Our lives are embarrassingly easy.

We've got plenty of money.

We got friends.

Well, you've got friends.

There are people out there

who have real problems, you know,

real reasons to be unhappy.

I mean, I could be a coal miner

dying of black lung or something.

You could be 3 Cincinnati crack whore on food stamps.

- What? - I don't know.

Doesn't it feel like we're faking it,

our unhappiness?

No-

No, it's real.

It's very real.

I'm going home now.

I think you think this is still charming.

We're not 23 anymore.

You need to pull it together.

Pick up the phone this week.

And bring the fucking furniture in from the lawn.

Norwood regarded his solitude as something...

Norwood, Norman, Richmond?

Richmond, Richmond.

Richmond regarded his solitude as something...

Ew!

Richmond.

Hitchmond.

Shmichmond.

Shmichmond.

Richmond regarded his solitude as something...

Unbearable!

Richmond regarded his...

Unbearable!

Richmond regarded his solitude as something unbearable.

Ptoo!

Come on.

Scalpel.

No, you're starting too high.

You need to go down at the base of the chin.

Oh.

And then cut up from there.

Good.

Careful, careful, careful.

Let me help you.

All right. Ready?

Yeah.

And there.

Good, good, good, good.

Okay, would you rather always walk backwards

or stub your toe every time you took a step?

Why would I want to do either?

It's a game.

Just pick one.

Ah!

Oh, drop that in the pan.

Beautiful.

You are really good at this.

My wife reattached a leg today.

Oh.

Maybe I should have been a fishmonger.

I could have, you know, mongered some fish.

Okay, which one is it?

Is it walk backwards or stub your toe?

Well, could I just design a special kind of shoe...

Mm-mm-No-

Oh, wait. Here. Flip that in a minute.

Gently, gently, gently.

I guess I would walk backwards.

I'm not good with pain.

You?

I like to see where I'm going.

Okay, come here.

You hold this end.

Ahh, paper men.

You know, for your book.

Oh, yes!

Oh.

I got something for you too.

Yeah, close your eyes.

Oh!

A camel.

A peacock.

It's the swan,

the beautiful, graceful swan.

Oh, sorry.

Aw.

Come in.

Whoa.

Oh.

We look good.

Yeah.

Wow.

You really went all out.

Yeah, too much?

No, mm-mm-

No, it looks great.

Party town.

Mm-hmm, the keg's in here.

And I put the hors d'oeuvres in the kitchen.

I think it will flow well that way.

Yeah, oh.

That's a pinata.

Yeah, I went for the donkey.

You know, go classic.

You don't really do parties much, do you?

No, I'm a little nervous.

Well, relax.

- It will be fun. - Okay.

No-

Hey.

Hey.

Shit.

Yeah, I know.

Where's the freak?

- Don't be an asshole. - What a dickweed.

Hey, Bryce.

What's up, man?

Where do I put these?

Kitchen.

What about the box?

Whatever, man.

Whatever feels right, you know.

Mi casa, you know.

What?

Where's the cups?

Nice.

Hey, welcome to party central.

Come on in.

That's it.

Hey, what's... hey.

What grade are you guys in?

Wow... oop, I'm sorry.

Somebody wants to party.

What's up?

Hey, come on in.

Let me see some ID.

I'm kidding.

Hey!

Hey, hey.

Having fun, huh?

What's happening?

All right, line up. Get 'em up here.

Stop dicking around.

Watch this.

Drink, drink, drink!

Whoo, when, one, cool.

High school for me was a time of self-discovery.

There you go.

When I look back on it...

though, got to say, wouldn't want to be 17 again.

We're 15.

Ah.

Okay.

Oh, what?

Come on.

Oh, sorry.

Dude, do you mind?

What are you doing?

What?

What the fuck are you doing?

What about Abby?

What about Abby?

You don't do this to her.

You don't do this to that little girl.

Mind your own business, you fucking pervert.

Chickenshit.

What did you call me?

Chickenshit bastard.

You don't talk to me like that.

Who the hell are you?

Who the fuck do you think you are?

You don't talk to me like that, you fucking freak.

- You think you can threaten me? - You're a child.

I'm a child, huh?

Is that what I am?

Bryce, get the fuck off of him.

What are you doing? Stop it.

Are you okay?

- What's the deal? - What's the deal here?

- You fucking him? - Stop it, Bryce.

Seriously, are you fucking her?

No-

- I don't give a shit.

He can have her.

She's fucking crazy anyway.

Why don't you go back to the looney bin

where you belong?

And take him with you.

Get the fuck out.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Get the fuck out now!

Go!

What the fuck are you looking at?

Get out of here. Party's over.

Chickenshit is an asshole.

Yeah.

Great party.

Yeah.

I love you.

What?

Not in any inappropriate way,

nothin| that's not, you know, decent or...

I just find when I examine my heart

I find...

I think that there's love there...

For you.

Yeah.

I love you.

It was...

It wasn't really a looney bin.

It was...

I mean, I was only there for a couple months,

you know, just until I...

My parents thought...

I don't know.

I never told them.

I never told anyone.

Me and Amy.

Me and Amy

were both supposed to go

into the water, and she did it.

And I swam back.

I swam back.

I couldn't...

I don't know what we were so unhappy about.

I mean...

what could we have been so unhappy about?

Eight.

I guess you're too young to know that you can get over anything.

He's always made poor decisions.

Same with her.

You feel helpless.

How long you been with her?

Since she was eight.

You?

Oh, Christ.

That's got to be over 40 years.

Second grade.

Isn't he a little old for you?

I keep telling him that.

He never listens.

They never do.

No-

- What's your gig?

I've pretty much done it all.

Battled monsters under the bed, been a cheerleader,

confidant.

These days, it's a bit of a mystery, to tell you the truth.

You?

I'm crazy in love with her.

Tough one.

Yeah.

It's been all right.

I think she's almost done with me.

Good.

Great.

Get out while you can.

I tell you, they open the door, you run.

You don't want to end up like me.

Guess not.

Captain Excellent.

Christopher.

Nice to meet you.

See you around.

Oh.

What? What? What? What?

You son of a bitch!

You son of a bitch!

Don't overreact here.

Shut up.

- Don't tell me how to react. - It's not like that.

Shut up!

What is this, Richard?

What... who is that?

Who the fuck is that?

She's the babysitter.

Get out.

Get out.

Get out!

Hi, Lucy.

Hi, Peter.

Hi.

Claire, we'll just be...

I didn't sleep with the babysitter,

if that's what you're thinking.

Oh, that's so comforting.

Why do we even have a babysitter?

It's just a kegger, Claire.

That's all.

Just a kegger?

And with whom exactly did you have a kegger?

Just some kids from the high school.

Richard, just stop.

None of this is okay.

Okay.

You knew we were coming this weekend.

Why are you doing this?

I've been at a bit of a loss.

That's a bullshit answer.

I've been floundering,

and Abby has been...

What? Abby's been what?

A friend.

For God's sake.

That's not a friend; That's a child.

- You have friends. - No, I don't.

Do think that was a chipmunk that we hit?

- I think they hibernate. - Yeah.

'Cause you don't know how to relate to other human beings.

Yeah, you isolate yourself.

Oh, you could talk.

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

You can be cold, Claire.

Let's just maybe get out of here.

Can we just get out of here? Can we leave this area?

What do you mean by that?

I don't know if it's your profession or what.

But it's made you hard.

- I can't... - I don't accept that.

I wanted to have a baby.

Is that what this is all about?

We could have had a baby, Claire.

Why didn't we have a baby?

Why? Because you are a baby!

You're an infant.

You still have an imaginary friend.

I just wanted a little warm thing,

something simple I could start with,

a single relationship with a person that was new and pure,

where I could be me and they could be them,

and that was all that was expected.

And we could build this world

where there was someone else other than me

to think about and be about,

the relief of being able to give the world to someone else

and just let it be theirs,

let them have their turn,

so it doesn't end with me.

Well, that's all you.

Where do I come in?

What do you mean?

God, you're the mother.

Uh, I'm so sorry, you guys.

But we're gonna go.

We're just gonna go.

B&B just anywhere?

Anywhere.

I'm sorry.

- No, it's fine. - No, no, no, no, no.

- We're just gonna... - Okay, I'll walk you out.

We should all go on a cruise or something.

Okay.

Take care.

All right, if we're gonna do this, let's...

all right, by the way, what is she, like, 13, 14?

Let's at least get our facts straight, though.

Okay, it was you, Richard.

You didn't want to have a baby.

You weren't ready.

So that little fuzzy fucking speech

my friends had to hear was bullshit.

And now I'm... I can't.

So I guess I'm the bad guy.

No, not the novel.

Look, I'd rather you didn't...

What is this?

What is this?

That's it.

After all this time out here,

this is it?

This?

Maybe if you'd spent more time working

instead of fucking the babysitter...

No-

- You're useless. - Yes.

You're totally useless.

Yes, I am.

What is wrong with you?

I don't know what to do with my hands!

Everyone, Jen and my sister and Liv all envied me.

I had the one who made me laugh.

What happened?

I don't know what happened.

You stopped laughing.

Help you?

Yeah, I came to pay my respects.

Sorry?

The heath hen, the North American heath hen.

This is where the last one lived, died.

Oh.

I wouldn't know anything about a heath hen.

But you're welcome to look around.

We've got several varieties of plover.

Thank you.

So this is what the end of something looks like.

The world went on, Richard.

But never the same.

Who knows how she might have changed things

with her just being here, the ripple effect.

And if that chicken hadn't died out,

you'd be perfectly well adjusted.

Maybe.

Doubtful.

Instead, I'm a childless loser.

I'm condemned to oblivion, Captain,

just like our little hen.

It's time for you to go.

No-

- You know what I'm saying, Captain.

I mean, go and never come back.

I'm not ready.

It doesn't matter.

You can't help me anymore.

The doctor's right.

But you'll be all alone.

Yes.

Last of my kind.

Okay.

Do the voice

one last time.

Please.

When the world is in peril,

when evil surrounds you,

when danger is lurking...

Who do you call?

Captain Excellent.

I wish I had a really amazing

fucked-up father like him.

Captain.

Richmond regarded his solitude...

Merton regarded... Horton regarded...

Richmond?

Richmond?

Richard.

Richard.

Richard regarded his solitude as something sacred.

I had this dream last night.

And you were in it.

Oh, was I interesting?

You were you.

You're leaving, aren't you?

Yeah, you know,

'cause of the situation.

Yeah.

I figured.

You know, spring is my favorite time,

'cause summer people aren't here yet.

It's not so fucking cold.

Yeah.

Um, I made you something.

That's the swan.

The beautiful, graceful swan.

It's... Richard, it's perfect.

Yeah, well...

Thank you.

It seems like we were just getting started.

Here.

Okay.

Okay.

I'm a horse's ass.

Yes, you are.

I'm sorry.

I'm gonna need some help Getting this couch in.

Richard regarded his solitude as something sacred,

as a well-earned badge of honor,

a cloak to be worn to ward off life,

as his safety.

Solitude is who he was.

This caused those in his life

to view him with a barely veiled contempt.

Richard was certain that he was not liked,

which is hard on a man.

Maybe it was because he gave nothing

that he received nothing in return.

In any case, his situation had become intolerable.

The closest things he had to friends

were either imaginary or extinct.

Richard had reached a point in his life

where this was no longer enough.

And then he met a girl,

and she was warm, and she was sad,

and she was maybe lonely in a way

that reminded him of himself.

She'd lost things that a girl should never have lost.

And she knew things, and she taught him.

And Richard thought,

"Maybe this is what friendship feels like.

Maybe."

It was just a glimpse.

They'd barely begun, really.

But in those long few winter days,

she'd given him so much,

enough so that Richard could go on.

And what had he given her?

Just a few words on a page.

Not much, perhaps.

But for Abby, he hoped it was enough.

Okay.