Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,540 --> 00:00:10,980
Okay, gang. Okay, gang. Anyone has to use the bathroom.
2
00:00:11,199 --> 00:00:13,800
Do it now. We've got another two hours before we
3
00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:16,100
get to grandma's. I'm just going to fill up the
4
00:00:16,100 --> 00:00:22,980
tank. Fill up. Not all the way though, right? We
5
00:00:22,980 --> 00:00:27,100
have to. But it's five dollars a gallon. I said
6
00:00:27,100 --> 00:00:32,020
we have to. Kids, we're going to have to leave
7
00:00:32,020 --> 00:00:40,920
one of you behind. What? Why? Gas crisis, darling. God,
8
00:00:41,460 --> 00:00:46,280
why does gas cost so much? The F -steen fire.
9
00:00:48,220 --> 00:00:54,759
Kidding. The possibly not. It's called butterfly effect, right? Epstein
10
00:00:54,759 --> 00:00:58,399
was first domino. Epstein, bing -bing -bong -bong. Byg -bong
11
00:00:58,399 --> 00:01:02,659
-bong -bong. War. Anyway, hi as to me, Donald Trump.
12
00:01:03,060 --> 00:01:07,040
You might remember me from such campaign promises as lower
13
00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:13,340
gas prices and no more wars. sites. We love to
14
00:01:13,340 --> 00:01:16,519
make promises because a promise is just a lie that
15
00:01:16,519 --> 00:01:20,459
hasn't happened yet. But now it has and gas costs
16
00:01:20,459 --> 00:01:23,459
like a million billion dollars a gallon. And as for
17
00:01:23,459 --> 00:01:25,500
the start market, let me put it in a way
18
00:01:25,500 --> 00:01:28,700
that the Harry Styles fans in the crowd tonight won't
19
00:01:28,700 --> 00:01:33,459
understand. You guys are going to love this one, that
20
00:01:33,459 --> 00:01:39,299
the stock market is going in one direction. Down! Down,
21
00:01:39,540 --> 00:01:45,000
I said. You don't know your broke ass hell. Sorry,
22
00:01:45,180 --> 00:01:48,180
I'm not familiar with his newer music. I am straight.
23
00:01:48,799 --> 00:01:52,219
Anyway, what were we talking about? Oh, yes, gas prices,
24
00:01:52,819 --> 00:01:56,780
which are very high because of war with Iran, which
25
00:01:56,780 --> 00:01:58,879
is where they make gas. I wish someone had told
26
00:01:58,879 --> 00:02:02,280
me that. But we won't win this war, because Iran
27
00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:05,939
is old, and nobody likes him. Iran is like ballet
28
00:02:05,939 --> 00:02:11,539
and opera, and we're Timmy Shalamet. Wow, kicking him wilder
29
00:02:11,539 --> 00:02:17,139
down, Timmy. Which is, frankly, best time to kick. Look
30
00:02:17,139 --> 00:02:20,400
at the gas back there. Frozen in one of these.
31
00:02:20,699 --> 00:02:24,939
Look at Marcelo, he's still playing kids. Does that sound
32
00:02:24,939 --> 00:02:29,360
a little too outweigh? That sounds racist, but it is.
33
00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:34,800
Moralesis guys, they're racist stuff. And how about Ashley Padilla?
34
00:02:35,419 --> 00:02:37,740
Last name sounds Spanish, but take a look at her,
35
00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:42,259
folks. That's the whitest white band in the world. Haircut!
36
00:02:43,219 --> 00:02:49,819
We love haircuts! Point is, I have everything under control.
37
00:02:49,819 --> 00:02:52,219
Look, I have been meeting with the nation's top minds,
38
00:02:52,900 --> 00:02:57,840
Jake Paul. He was booed very badly at the Mike
39
00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:01,759
Dyson fight. We hate to hear booze. So would say
40
00:03:01,759 --> 00:03:16,180
booze. So I had a couple road sodas, chill. Beat
41
00:03:16,180 --> 00:03:20,539
Hankseth as I live and struggle to breathe. It's great
42
00:03:20,539 --> 00:03:22,900
to see you, Mr. President, before I begin, I just
43
00:03:22,900 --> 00:03:26,580
want to thank you sincerely for these beautiful, size 16
44
00:03:26,580 --> 00:03:32,199
floor -shime shoes. They fit me like a glove. Happy
45
00:03:32,199 --> 00:03:36,080
to do it. Like a clown's glove. If you're wondering
46
00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:38,379
why I was in the backseat of this random family's
47
00:03:38,379 --> 00:03:40,740
car, I'll tell you the same thing I say when
48
00:03:40,740 --> 00:03:43,539
people ask about our plans for Iran. I don't know.
49
00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:52,560
Isn't that wonderful? Well, I'm going to wander around. Great.
50
00:03:52,860 --> 00:03:56,960
Thank you for everything, sir. President, call me here today
51
00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:58,740
to give you news on the war. OK, so listen
52
00:03:58,740 --> 00:04:06,159
up. To know this, we won. Hashtag winning. So you
53
00:04:06,159 --> 00:04:08,539
can stop asking me all about it, OK? Don't even
54
00:04:08,539 --> 00:04:15,139
worry about it. Forget about it. The real problem is,
55
00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:21,579
all you Gaby's... Gaby's copy, right? All you Gaby's in
56
00:04:21,579 --> 00:04:25,800
the media are completely unpatriotic. OK? They're using what I
57
00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:28,420
do and say to make me look like a fool.
58
00:04:28,939 --> 00:04:33,879
Been there. I've been there before, but... Yeah, I've been
59
00:04:33,879 --> 00:04:38,300
there a lot. The press says we bombed the school.
60
00:04:38,699 --> 00:04:40,920
I just blame it on the a -a -a -a
61
00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:41,579
-a -a -a -a -a -a -a -a -a -a
62
00:04:41,579 --> 00:04:43,959
-a -a -a -a -a -a. And also on the
63
00:04:43,959 --> 00:04:48,459
alcohol. All you dweeb, stop saying the straight -of -war
64
00:04:48,459 --> 00:04:51,959
moose is closed. It's wide open. Sure, there's a bunch
65
00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:54,879
of land mines floating in the water. Water mines, I
66
00:04:54,879 --> 00:04:58,860
guess. But if you're an oil tanker and you're driving
67
00:04:58,860 --> 00:05:00,899
it and you see one of the mines, just do
68
00:05:00,899 --> 00:05:03,819
what I used to do at every DUI checkpoint. Close
69
00:05:03,819 --> 00:05:09,000
your eyes and gun it. Great advice, Pete. OK, anyway,
70
00:05:09,399 --> 00:05:13,279
back to the gas station scene. Getting, of course. And
71
00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:15,860
I, from New York, it's Henry. Hi!
6079
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof