Original subtitles

I'm bored.

I'm gonna try drug cigarettes and also join a gang!

How about trying football instead?

Yay!

You can discover your love of football

at Reggie Dinkins' MVP Football Camp.

It's free for kids in need--

of money and fun.

'Cause football is the real touchdown!

♪ Reggie Dinkins' Football Camp ♪

♪ Reggie Dinkins' Football Camp ♪

♪ Fresh

I told you.

In 2004, you had the straight hair,

and I had the afro.

Fascinating.

Now, can we get some work things done?

OK. Have fun!

OK.

I told RussiaBet88 you're a no

for their "Even Losers Can Win" campaign.

- Good call. - Tucker Carlson called.

Wants to meet a Black person.

- No, thank you. - Yeah.

Oh, and this one could be a good opportunity.

Listening.

The Boys and Girls Club of Newark wants

to auction off a lunch with you.

Hard pass.

Are you sure?

It's for charity.

The only people that bid on those auctions

be Jets fans that want to throw eggs at me.

What about doing that?

What, straighten my hair again?

I don't know.

People on the streets kept calling me André 1000.

No, the football camp!

That field is still available.

OK, yeah.

Charity, kids.

A food desert, so no eggs.

When people see this, they'll be like,

how could such a hard body contain such a soft heart?

No, Reg, the camp was never for PR.

If we do it again, it's gonna be for the kids.

Just like back in the day.

Maybe you two have gotten so caught up

in chasing what you lost

that you've forgotten who you are.

I mean, maybe so.

I did like working with those kids.

Maybe we get the same ones to come back this time.

Reggie, that was 20 years ago.

They're grown up now.

Yup, new kids.

♪ The Fall and Rise

♪ Of Reggie Dinkins

I have continued to try to convince the NFL

to let me use game footage.

Their latest offer is a hard no.

But they have agreed to let me say the words "Super Bowl,"

provided I have a bowl of soup nearby.

But for a sports documentary, we are,

uh, quite short on action.

Kick!

Brina, where's my shoe pole?

Let's do this.

Reggie Dinkins Football Camp.

When do kids start needing jockstraps?

It's early now, right?

'Cause of milk?

- Who's my next victim? - Come on up.

He don't bite, except me.

Basmati.

Ain't this some--

Jerry Basmati and Reggie?

That rivalry was intense.

I mean, Reggie went to Rutgers,

Jerry went to Penn State.

Reggie played for the Jets,

Jerry played for the Dolphins.

Reggie endorsed Ex-Lax,

Jerry endorsed Imodium A-D.

They were Magic and Bird, but both Black,

so Magic and Magic.

But after Reggie got kicked out of football...

That guy stole my life.

Jerry Basmati could never stop me,

but now he's in the Hall of Fame!

He's calling games and co-hosting

a morning show with a blonde lady named

Kylie or Kelly or something.

A dog that can vape?

That's coming up next on "AM New Jersey."

That should be me.

Ten dollars more, I'll sign it.

Thank you very much.

Welcome to my world.

Let's get out of here.

I don't want to deal with those fake-ass people.

Holy smokes.

Reggie, Monica, Busty!

The Dinkins!

You know it's not Busty.

Boo!

Boo!

I hate you more than my job

I'm supposed to be at right now.

Now, now, now, now, everyone be cool.

This man's a living legend.

He deserves our respect.

Come on over here, Reggie.

Come over here with your boy.

Reggie, come on, man.

How you doing, man?

Look, we all make mistakes,

and we all deserve a second chance.

Plus, us brothers gotta stick together.

Sure, we had beef back in the day,

but we left that on the field.

What's with the cameras?

Making a movie, you know?

About the old days.

Also about my quest to solve my uncle's murder, right?

But we're here 'cause I'm starting up

my old football camp again.

Mm.

As it says in Proverbs 22:6,

"Train up a child in the way he should go,

and when he is old, he will not depart from it."

Bible!

Monica!

Oh, my God, girl, you look exactly the same.

It's so good to see you!

Oh, when are we gonna go get dinner?

Yes, please! OK.

But, um, Jerry and I are actually

taking the kids on a mission trip to Haiti

to build a Sweetgreen,

but I will call you when I get back.

My word, OK?

Reggie, Reggie, Reggie.

My man.

Can't believe how nice it was to see the Basmatis.

Seriously?

Do you remember how he used to drag you?

Reggie Dinkins is a punk

who wouldn't be nothing without that O-line!

His "SNL" with Hoobastank was a season low point.

The Basmatis are the worst.

Both of them.

I mean, sure, our husbands are rivals on the field,

but I feel zero competition with Monica.

And I don't care what anyone says--

she's nice and her teeth don't look like a bear trap.

Come on, let it go.

You can't say she wasn't being nice to you in there.

She said you haven't aged.

Yeah.

I don't know how, but that was a dig.

Like, is she calling me a vampire?

What the hell?

Dinkins!

What are you doing here, Jerry?

Hey, Reg, here's the thing.

I still hate you,

and I'm trying to blow up your spot.

You like it?

It's gonna make yours look like a Taco Bell

next to a Outback Steakhouse.

Is one of those supposed to be better than the other?

I normally do my camp upstate,

but I couldn't resist showing everyone

what a joke you are.

What happened to us brothers gotta stick together?

That was for the crowd, man.

You think the Black community is a monolith?

I'm an individual with my own opinions,

and I hate your ass.

If you use any of this, I'll just say it was AI

and sue you to death.

Ooh, that's too many fingers.

Ain't that some--

Jerry Basmati is two-faced,

like that Batman villain,

the Joker.

He seems all funny and charming.

Turns out, actually,

he's a bad guy.

Basmati has always been a dirty player.

But my dad has always gotten the best of him.

Especially on The Crotchdown.

I mean, I guess we still can't show NFL stuff.

But, uh, one time,

Reggie tried to hurdle Basmati,

and he didn't get all the way over.

And he just landed perfectly on his shoulders

and then rode him into the end zone.

Crotchdown!

Now, look, the Basmatis hate us,

and we hate them, believe me.

But the camp ain't about us.

So we're gonna do this like Michelle Obama.

Wait--we're gonna skip Jimmy Carter's funeral?

No.

When they go low, we go high.

Oh, no way.

I'm not going high with Jerry.

The only way we're doing this like the Obamas

is if I get to order a drone strike

on the Basmati compound.

A rivalry rekindled.

Two aging gladiators face off once again.

Their Colosseum?

A children's sport camp.

Look, I know it's not exactly the Super--

where is my soup?

♪ All my life, been grinding all my life ♪

♪ Sacrificed, hustled, paid the price ♪

♪ Want a slice, got to roll the dice ♪

No fair!

His kids don't even look underprivileged.

There's nothing I love more

than giving back to the community.

After all, you can't spell "community" without,

"Mm, unity."

♪ Don't know a like myself ♪

♪ I say self-made, meaning I designed myself ♪

That man is crazy.

Oh, my word, Monica, it's like you're following me.

Hi, Tisha.

Two days this week!

Yeah, I know.

It is such a gift

to help these kids alongside our husbands.

Oh, I'm sorry, I just get mixed up,

'cause you're not married to him anymore,

and you're not married to him yet.

It's like, is anyone married around here but moi?

I'm sorry, Tisha,

but if you want to drag anyone,

you should drag yourself back to Dr. Miami of Ohio

to make your hands the same age as your face.

See y'all on the field.

Let's go, campers, let's go.

Come on, man!

Hey, I'm just teaching these kids to play the game.

It's all about visualizing your opponent.

Why do they have bats?

This is a football camp.

Man, why are you doing this?

You already have everything.

And you know why I have all of that?

Because I know you want it.

When you won the Heisman over me,

when you were drafted above me,

I took all of that personally,

and I never let it go.

Seems unhealthy.

And now that I'm out front,

I'm never giving it up.

Is this about The Crotchdown?

No.

I don't care about that dumb "Mad Magazine" cover,

or that it was the first-ever meme,

or that Jerry Crotchmati was

the best-selling Halloween costume of 2004.

I never thought about it, but yeah,

you never won anything until I was gone.

You never beat me on the football field,

not one time.

This is a time!

And this is a field.

So let's settle this here and now.

My campers versus yours.

You wanna unleash the dog?

- Yeah. - Well, you got him.

Yip, yip, woof, yip!

The hell was that?

Small dogs are the craziest.

Now get out of here!

Let's go!

OK, yeah.

I wanted action, I am getting it.

Finally, literal conflict.

For the past two months, I have done nothing

but eat, sleep, and breathe this documentary.

And now look.

We are out in the world. - Mm.

Sun is shining, blood is pumping,

and something is about to happen.

I can feel it.

- What you doin'? - I'm just doing my thing.

I'm the director in charge of all this.

What you doin'?

What was that with Tisha?

High road, remember?

I'm sorry, Monica.

I don't start fights, but I do finish them.

Nobody talks to my friend like that and get away with it

just 'cause they smiling.

Maybe it's a generational thing.

Before I learned to read, I learned to read--for filth.

Yeah, I get it.

And this might sound a little old-fashioned,

but grace and poise.

I'm all about grace and poise,

but what has going high ever got anybody?

Mitch McConnell ran all over y'all.

So what do you want me to do?

Go up to Tisha and be all,

"I don't think so, girl,

"but you need to go stand on your head

"and make that smile the frown you should have,

'cause who you are inside is bad, girl."

What would that accomplish?

That would accomplish nothing.

So please, could you do it my way just for the day?

I mean, it's a camp. It's for the kids.

♪ Oh

♪ Say, can you see

♪ By the dawn's early light

- So you make movies? - Mm.

You ever work with Paul Giamatti?

That dude does not miss.

- Oh, I did meet Paul once. - Nice.

Um, on a red carpet at an award show.

OK.

Put on by the Academy.

Which one?

Of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.

Cool.

Yeah, it was the Oscars.

I--I have an Oscar.

- Oh, damn. - Yeah.

OK, now we gotta get out there

and destroy Jerry Basmati--

's team!

Why? He's nice.

Uh, he raps the Bible on "The Miss Janice Show."

♪ Do unto others as you

♪ Would have them do unto you

♪ Break it down

That's an act.

He's the devil!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

This is not about destroying anyone.

That's not who we are.

It's about having fun.

Having fun busting the other team in the mouth!

Stop.

This camp is not about our grudges,

it's about you.

You busting the other team in the mouth!

No.

When they go low, we go high.

Why won't anybody Obama with me?

Yes, we can--

bust the other team in the mouth!

Let's go!

Yeah!

Halftime.

Monica!

Monica!

Do you need a hat?

I'm getting a lot of glare off your forehead.

We have extra-larges.

No, thank you!

I will get you one!

I will get you one.

So sweet.

This sucks.

Your way sucks.

I have a Beyoncé quote you might like.

I'm listening.

Always stay gracious.

The best revenge is your paper.

And we got our paper.

My family is taken care of.

You do handle that paper.

I got in early on Ozempic after they started making

those pizzas where the crust is churros.

- Oh! - Turns out,

our kids actually can't play football,

'cause we never taught them.

That's what doing the football camp was for.

That was brutal.

Man, your campers are even worse than I thought.

What do you want, Basmati?

You bore me, Reggie.

I'm bored.

How about this?

I'll go on TV Monday morning

and tell everyone you're a great guy,

your camp doesn't suck,

and you actually deserve to be in the Hall of Fame.

Really?

If those little unflushed turds you coach...

Jerry, damn.

Could just score one point.

How would you even score just one point?

That makes no sense.

A safety on a two-point conversion.

But whatever. I mean, score any points.

Jeez, Busty. - Oof.

Let's have some fun, kids!

Letters to Santa Claus? - Yeah?

Just going in the trash.

I should let you get back to work.

Oh, no, no. This--this is work.

I'm here to capture everything that happens.

So please, tell me more about your divorce.

And this Hector fellow, is he strong?

Has he moved on?

Does he have a temper?

How strong is he?

Look, Arthur, I got divorced two months ago.

And between work and basically being a single mom,

I've been busy.

But two months...

Is an awfully long time.

OK, good try.

Oh.

Do our kids not know the rules?

What the what?

I want to bring it back. I want to bring it back.

I want to bring it-- now I want to bring it back in.

Muskelgelee? Oh, hell no.

Y'all ever do signs before?

I can't tell.

Oh, yeah.

Wasn't Reggie their spokesman for, like, 20 years?

That's not a coincidence.

She's messing with our paper.

Mm-hmm.

Which means she's not just messing with me.

She's messing with my whole damn family.

Oh, hi.

And how does that make you feel?

Like going over there and saying,

"Hey, nice top!

Where'd you get it, the toilet store?"

Let's go clear this trick.

Hey, hey.

Oh!

Let's go, campers!

Destroy!

Yeah!

Guys, score once!

You know, win one for the Gipper!

Ronald Reagan?

Um, his record on mental health,

AIDS, the crack epidemic, is hardly inspiring.

I need you to focus, nerd.

Listen up!

We are not going high today.

I want you to get out there and do whatever it takes,

you hear me?

Get out there and rip those Basmatis apart!

No mercy!

No.

Going high is exactly what we're gonna do.

They've been stacking the box against us

all game because we have not once

gotten past the line of scrimmage,

so they'll never see it coming when we air it out.

A go route.

Luis, you got an arm.

I seen you throwing acorns at a rat earlier.

That's what's up.

You our quarterback.

Everybody else, go long!

all: Yeah!

That's game.

That didn't work at all!

Damn!

Hey!

Nice top, where'd you get it?

Oh, my God.

I can't take you anymore.

You're seriously gonna come over here

and compliment my top

after everything I've done to you?

I am working so hard to piss you off,

and nothing works.

Wait, what?

You've always been so superior!

With your career and your self-esteem

and your child that respects you.

So what if you're not addicted to pills?

Do you think that makes you better than the rest of us?

Go on.

Everything I do just rolls off your back.

When I started that rumor about Reggie cheating with Shakira,

you didn't say a word!

And when I said my birthday was a costume party,

you just showed up as Jack Sparrow

and enjoyed the party!

And the other day when I said you hadn't aged,

clearly calling you a vampire,

you didn't even bat an eye.

You invited me to dinner!

Girl, you drive me crazy!

Ugh! Ugh!

Oh, my God!

The high road can be diabolical.

Grace and poise, Brina.

Great game, Reg.

Too bad someone's gotta lose, right?

So--

how my ass taste?

Bad!

Bye, kids! Stay in school!

Mwah.

Peace, y'all.

We out.

Hey, Coach.

Ugh, what?

It's over.

Go home.

Uh, but camp isn't supposed to end till 4:00.

We want to keep playing.

For real?

Even though you lost by a lot?

And disappointed me, your hero?

It was still fun.

I've never been on a team before.

I got a shirt!

And I've never seen this much grass before,

or those really big grasses.

Do you mean trees?

OK, yeah.

Let's keep playing.

But first, huddle up.

Nah, this is not for that.

Turn the cameras off.

Great. I'm gonna go get drunk.

Ah.

Ahh, what a match, eh?

I mean, the plays!

I couldn't pick a favorite, so don't ask me.

Just good, good football.

Some have suggested

I was less than professional today,

but I have nothing to apologize for.

I said at the outset I was looking for action,

and, well...

I want to thank you guys.

For the past 20 years, thinking about football

has made me think about what was taken from me.

But what I thought I'd lost,

and what you guys are just now finding,

it can never be taken from you.

'Cause it's here.

And being a part of a team?

Ooh!

It's the greatest feeling in the world.

That's my fire.

And you guys have reignited that here today.

You may hug your hero.

What a beautiful moment,

caught by our own "AM New Jersey" cameras.

And how about that Reggie Dinkins?

Maybe he deserves a second chance after all.

Right, Jerry?

Maybe.

Well, I am--

I mean, that was good, right?

You didn't mean for anyone to see it,

so people know it's genuine,

and now Jerry Basmati said on TV

that you deserve a second chance.

That's exactly what we wanted.

We know all that, Rusty.

Let the moment happen.

I grew up with, like, ten brothers, OK?

I have a need to fill silences.

Up next, a famous rock-and-roller

may not be who he claims.

Is Bon Jovi's Jon Bon Jovi actually just

Perth Amboy native John Francis Bongiovi?

Good night, everybody!

Good night!