Original subtitles

Who is it, Ed?

Somebody left a baby on our doorstep.

Well, get rid of it.

Marilyn, I think you better come out here.

There's nobody around.

Oh, Walter.

Oh, my God.

Baby. That's perfect.

Like a miracle.

Samantha?

Please come downstairs. The guests are all arriving

and you don't want to disappoint them.

Honey, I know that you're upset,

but you, and daddy and I, we can all talk about it

after the party, all right?

There's nothing to talk about, Mom.

Honey, you know we love you.

Just leave me alone.

Hello, Mom and Dad.

Or should I say Mr. and Mrs. Stigg?

Today is May 19th.

You say it's my birthday.

You just told me the worst news of my life.

Samantha, you've always been a good daughter to us.

Honey, the very best.

As good a daughter as one could possibly hope for.

Thanks. You've been okay parents.

Thanks. You want a beer, Sam?

Dad, it's 10:00 in the morning.

Oh. So it is.

What is it? What's wrong?

You know, after your mother and I got married,

we tried for several years to have children,

but I guess... I guess it...

just wasn't meant to be, huh?

And finally after we stopped trying...

you came along.

Yeah, I know that, Dad.

Yeah, of course you do, Sam.

That's why I'm telling you.

Get to the point.

Honey, I really think that you know, we could

just wait 'til after the party.

She has the right to know. Know what?

Samantha, as much as your mother and I have always wanted children,

but really the truth is that...

Well, we never could.

So, we adopted you.

Walter, we didn't adopt her.

Honey, you're not adopted.

Yeah, you're not really adopted, but...

you see, we've always loved you

as if you were our own flesh and blood.

But, the fact of the matter is that we're not your real parents.

Walter, we are her real parents.

I mean, we've loved her, we've raised her.

Honey, you belong to us.

Stop it. Stop it. I don't believe this.

Well, it's true, honey.

So, where did I come from?

We don't know, Sam. Somebody left you on our doorstep

in a wicker basket.

Oh, honey, you were the most adorable little baby

all wrapped up in a blue blanket. Tell me this isn't happening.

This is not happening. I have a birth certificate.

Uh, no you don't. Father O'Rourke took care of that.

It's forged.

So much for Samantha Stigg.

I have no more identity than Fenisha, or Herman or Mildred over here.

And what's worse is that I spent 21 years thinking I'm someone I'm not.

Honey, you're not abusing the goldfish, are you?

Mom! All right. All right. All right. Look, I just...

Honey, I just wanna make sure you're all right, okay?

So, now, I'm gonna go downstairs.

I'm gonna be with the guests,

and we're gonna be waiting for you, all right?

As I look back on my pathetic excuse for a life,

I think I always suspected that something about me was...

different.

Don't do it, fathead.

You're just gonna kill yourself.

While my best friend Henry,

sat in is room, chained to his cello,

I was struggling with life's great mysteries.

If he can do it, I can do it.

Or it can't be done at all.

Okay, but if you end up in the Perlmutter's roses, you are done for.

Ow!

You set her. Set her, Grumpers.

I told you never to come to my yard again.

This is your last warning! Let go, you stupid mutt!

Did you hear me? I said Stop it!

I think this belongs to you.

Only, I never solved any mysteries.

Samantha.

I just struggled.

This is nuts!

Come on, Henry. Bombs away.

It's hot in here!

How you gonna get out of those handcuffs?

If Houdini could do it. I can do it.

Or it can't be done at all.

Fine.

See you next weekend, huh?

Sure. All right.

Samantha, can you hear me?

Get out of there. Samantha!

Sam! Henry, what's the matter?

Walter, Samantha's in there.

Oh, no. Not again!

Sam?

Sam?

Samantha?

Go away, Henry.

Happy Birthday, fathead.

You know, Sam, you're probably not aware of it, but there are

about 30 people downstairs, and they've come to celebrate your birthday.

So far, no one seems to notice that you're not there,

Eventually, someone's bound to catch on.

I was just wondering what you want me to tell them.

I know.

I'll just tell them that you're glad they could all make it.

And they should all go screw themselves, is that about it?

Oh,

you're not messing with the goldfish, are you, Sam?

Up yours, Henry.

Two gallons of holy water

needs twenty amps of current.

I'm going to find out once and for all who's strong.

God or science?

I'm gettin' out of here.

If he can do it, maybe I can do it.

It can't be done at all.

Murder!

Father O'Rourke!

Father O'Rourke, where are you?

Father O'Rourke!

Hey!

Hey!

Mrs. Schtumer!

Mrs. Schtumer!

Stop!

Stop!

Mrs. Schtumer.

Stop!

Help!

No, Henry, I'm not messing with the goldfish.

I wish I never had.

Henry?

Henry?

Oh, Milos. Henry.

Where's the birthday girl?

She's here.

She just couldn't make it.

Excuse me. Marilyn.

I don't think she's gonna come down at all.

Sounds like the name of a ball player, right? Yeah.

Is Samantha ill?

Ooh, what a shame.

Samantha's ill?

Samantha's ill.

Aw.

Mrs. Schtumer doesn't hear very well.

Especially when she's composing.

It's a miracle she heard the child at all.

Young Samantha might just as easily have passed on up there.

I told her not to do it.

Of course, you did, honey.

What did Dr. Lorwyn say?

He said that, her hearing will return gradually over the next few days.

Oh, thank God.

Yeah. Her senses were pushed way beyond their normal capacity

and that's why she's a little disconnected.

I should have talked her out of it.

No, you did what you could.

Now, all we can do now is to be encouraging and supportive and...

see where she lands.

See where she lands?

Samantha, the doctors says you're gonna be fine, honey.

She can't hear you, Walter.

Samantha, you're gonna be fine darling.

Samantha, am I getting through to you?

Honey, it's no use. Don't yell, okay?

She can't hear. I'm not done yet.

Samantha, see... No, no... Now I am yelling.

You're gonna be fine, honey.

Am I coming through to you?

You're gonna be all right. Believe me.

Samantha?

Now she's a miracle worker and yet another phase.

One day we're gonna come home and find a nail to a cross,

waiting to be resurrected.

I know. I know. Be more patient, I understand.

Sometimes the child is just... just plain odd.

Samantha, you little twit.

Young lady, now you come down off there right now.

Shut up.

Now, did you hear me? I said come down off there. Come now.

Samantha, come down off there right now!

I'm conducting.

Walter, let's just remain calm

and supportive until we see where she lands.

- Marilyn, this isn't landing. - She's taking off.

Catchy tune.

It was lovely.

Henry. Samantha.

But you must tell us what was it?

Schtumer's Fifth Symphony.

Schtumer's Fifth?

Schtumer's Fifth.

Oh... Schtumer's Fifth.

Well, you play this well.

Very well.

Samantha, what is this?

I never lied to you.

You are a gifted musician.

And a big baby, as well.

Now, are you coming out of there?

Or should we celebrate your birthday without you?

What's it going to be?

♪ She's a jolly good fellow For she's a jolly good fellow

♪ For she's a jolly good fellow

♪ Which nobody can deny

♪ Which nobody can deny Which nobody can deny

♪ For she's a jolly good fellow

♪ Which nobody can deny ♪

Well, since you wouldn't come down,

we decided to bring the party up to you, Sam.

Right. So...

What do you say? Can we come in?

Piss off. All of you.

She didn't mean that.

Sam? Now, honey, we're coming in, okay?

Please let us in right now.

All right. All right. Fine.

But I think you should know,

that if you open that door, the gun will go off.

Gun? Gun?

What gun?

Oh, honey. She has your musket?

That old thing doesn't work. Come on now. What?

Wait!

Just a second, Walter. Just in case it does work.

Maybe she really is losing her marbles in there.

We can't pull the cork on her.

Let me just get outside her window and see what she's got going on in there.

How? We don't have a ladder big enough.

Just get her out of there.

The roof is simple and then I can just roll down from the chimney.

Don't be a fool, Henry. You're going to break your neck.

Just keep her occupied.

Get her out of there.

Have you tried bathroom door? No. Good idea.

Come on. Come on. Yeah. Go to the bathroom.

Nice try, Dad. But no dice.

If anybody has to go, you'd just have to use the bathroom downstairs.

Henry.

Oh, right. Ivan.

Hey, thanks for coming.

I want you to meet my pal, Samantha stigg.

Oh, hello, Samantha.

Hi. Nice to meet you.

What a great building. Yes.

Henry's very lucky.

Ivan won the Hirschfeld competition last year.

Really. Wow. You're kidding. What piece did you play?

The Beethoven Concerto.

No kidding. Oh, my God.

That might just be my favorite piece in the whole world.

Really? Mine, too.

Ivan. Ivan.

The thing is I'm kinda new at this. So...

Would you just be gentle, okay?

Oh, yes, of course.

Absolutely, yes.

Oh, God.

I just don't understand what it is that guys want.

Well, for starters they wanna cast their own vote.

Well, who's stopping them?

I just... I don't get it

I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

What do you think this is, The Dr. Henry show?

I can't answer that.

There are no rules here.

Am I too aggressive?

Is that it? No. It's not just that.

Well, then I talk too much, that's it.

You don't, maybe feel that we're communicating well.

I think if it were just the talking, we could probably work it out.

But I'm too possessive? Yes.

But that's not really the problem.

Well, what is it?

I'm in love with someone else.

Uh-huh.

Did it ever occur to you that maybe you're expecting a little too much?

No. No. All I expect from a guy is that he be

completely and utterly devoted to me when we're together.

And pining over me when we're not.

Oh, that's certainly not too much to ask. Good luck.

I've just had it with men, Henry.

Come on, Sam. Don't be ridiculous.

There's nothing wrong with you.

You know... What?

What? What?

You're really, very attractive.

Henry. Well, you are.

Really? Yeah.

Yeah. Strange but attractive.

The right guy is gonna come along, just hang in there.

Samantha. Hi, Eric.

I have to talk to you. I know. It's over.

You don't wanna see me anymore.

How did you know?

It was a fluke, Milos.

Just like everything else.

I've had it with music.

With only one month left before your senior recital.

You're going to take four years of hard work

and throw them in the toilet?

You got it, Milos.

I'm not a musician.

Who told you that?

I never was a musician. Sam.

Then what about Henry?

It's his recital. Sam.

Sam. Samantha...

Ow.

I will never be a musician.

I wasn't meant to be.

Oh, look, dear, she's beautiful.

She has your nose. And your eyes, darling.

She's just too lovable for words.

We'll give her the most wonderful life a child could possibly have.

Of course, she'll have the prettiest clothes. And nicest toys.

The best friends money can buy.

And when she's old enough we'll send her to the finest schools.

Unless, of course, she doesn't want to go.

Well, then she won't have to.

She'll stay at home. Watch TV.

Invite boys over. Have meaningless sex.

Mmm-hmm.

She'll never have an unpleasant moment.

Oh, let's get her some ice-cream. Good idea.

We love you. We love you.

Okay, coast is clear.

She's alone. Come on. Watch it. Watch your step.

Oh, Walter. I am so excited.

I can't wait to... Oh, it's a little girl.

Oh, what are we gonna call her? Oh, here quick. Put her in the bag.

Okay, get back. Yeah. Call her, let's see.

I know, something dumb like...

Samantha. Perfect.

We'll send her to a Catholic school.

You know what? What?

Make her play the violin.

Oh, got it. She'll be an outcast. A weirdo.

Perfect. She won't have a chance with the boys.

Just when she thinks she's had all she can take,

we'll tell her she's adopted. Adopted That's perfect.

Oh, honey, she's gonna be so unhappy, she won't know what hit her.

Listen, she's miserable already. Isn't it beautiful?

Come on. I hope she's colic. Watch your step there.

So let the record show

that I am not Samantha Stigg.

The apparent daughter of Walter and Marilyn Stigg.

But, in fact a nameless victim

held hostage for 21 years

by two cold blooded impostors.

And I never had a chance.

So that's it, Mom and Dad.

The water is off. Now I know why...

The water is off.

And all this time I thought it was my fault.

I have no past,

no future and no choice

but to die an anonymous failure.

Maybe, Sam.

But what if you don't.

What?

This isn't to criticize, but before you sent me face down to the bushes,

I did happen to notice a couple of flaws in your design.

Take for instance that little eye hook you have of your bed there.

Now, it's just my opinion.

But I think it's six or eight inches too close to the door.

What about that temperamental gang leader that sits above the trailer,

I mean, who knows the last time that sucker was oiled.

I could be wrong.

But what if I'm not?

I mean, suppose you've...

miscalculated and you just...

There was an ear lobe or a couple of fingers.

Are you prepared to walk around with half a nose?

That's enough, Henry.

Think about it, Sam. I said cut it, Henry.

Hey, what's going on?

Who turned off the water?

Who turned off the water?

Now! Now!

Shit.

What's she doing up there?

I don't know.

Did you throw away all the sleeping pills?

Mmm-hmm.

And the rat poison and the razor blades.

Insecticide.

The liquid plumber.

And all the pantyhose I could find.

The pantyhose? Mmm-hmm.

I don't know, honey. It's something I saw in a prison movie.

Marilyn, what did you do with my musket?

I put it right in the chipper shredder.

Okay, well, that about covers it.

Samantha, honey?

Samantha, where are you going?

I don't know, but I can't stay here.

Oh, honey, don't say that. This is you home.

This isn't my home. This isn't even my life.

Come on. What about school? I'm quitting.

What you mean quitting? Yes, and I will pay you back every dime.

What do you mean pay me back?

Honey, where are you going to live? I don't know.

Well, when will we see you again? I don't know.

How can we get in touch with you?

I don't know! What do you know?

I know that life stops here until I find out who I am.

And you can't help me with that.

Samantha, you are not gonna ever find them.

Then I have to try, Mom.

Let's go.

It's gonna be all right.

This isn't just another phase, is it, Walter? No, I don't think so. No.

What if we never... She'll be back.

She'll be back, darling.

The first time she tastes her own cooking, she'll be back.

I hope you're right.

It's just the way it has to be now.

It'll be all right.

So, I took this thing and arranged it to a duet.

But you want a drummer, I'm sure.

So I think we're rehearsing today.

You should come, certainly in the end.

It goes pretty fast and the

placement's all stretched up.

So the way I arranged your part,

I made it absolutely impossible.

But, let's start here.

And watch the tempo change there.

Okay.

It's a little piece I like to call Steamer's Fifth Amendment.

It' something a little like this. Ready? All set.

What'd you think?

It's interesting, but, uh...

Are you sure it's the right piece for the recital?

I guess we're gonna have to play it.

But we've been rehearsing it all along.

Oh, you certainly have better choices.

Hi.

Oh, Sam, hi. You remember Elaine Callow, right?

Oh, yeah, yeah. Didn't you graduate?

Yeah, a couple of years ahead of us.

That's right. Yeah.

Um, Elaines agreed to fill in for you at the recital while you're...

trying to find yourself.

Oh. Great. That's great.

That's really nice of her.

Well, it's nothing. Really.

Bye. Bye.

Thanks.

Bye-bye, Samantha.

Oh, goodbye. It was nice to see you again.

Yeah and, um, good luck. I hope...

I hope you turn up somewhere.

Bye.

So, Henry, what do you think of the name

Abigail Harrington.

For what? For me.

What's wrong with Samantha Stigg?

Why? Is there something wrong with this? It's not my real name.

Seriously. Since I don't have anything to go on and I... You know,

I don't know who I am. I think I should try on some new hats

and see if anything fits.

Oh, I see. A whole new start.

A clean slate like you were born yesterday, is that the idea?

Right.

Okay. Abigail Harrington Yeah.

Let's see...

Daughter of Cecil and Winford Harrington.

Heirs to the Harrington empire.

Thrust into a life of leisure and luxury,

All the best schools, summers in Europe, debutante boss.

You would have had it all, Sam. So, why didn't I?

Well, I suppose as soon as you're old enough to crawl

you tried to blow your brains out

with your brother's pearl handled Derringer and shot the nanny instead.

Your parents couldn't afford another scandal, so they had to get rid of you. Good plan.

You're such an asshole, Henry.

And you, Samantha, are a fathead by any name.

So, why Elaine?

She's a professional musician. I'm lucky to have her.

If your recital piece is turkey in the straw.

She's the third chair in the city chamber orchestra.

We both know how she got that job.

She's a damn good musician.

And mostly, she shows up.

So, what about, um...

Esmeralda Guadalupe Gonsalves.

Not in this lifetime.

So, who am I?

Who are my parents and where in the world are they now?

What's going on? Who are you guys?

We're your parents.

Mom? Dad? Is it really you?

Yes, sweetheart. And we've come to take you home.

Home. Really? I thought I'd never see you again.

Your mother and I have been training for 21 years for this mission.

We even learnt karate.

Come on, darling. We don't have much time.

What about the Stiggs? Shouldn't I say goodbye to them?

You'll drop them a post card.

Mmm, raspberry sherbet. Your favorite.

How'd you know? Just like we know purple is your favorite color.

Not green as you may have been told.

And don't believe that nonsense about cabbage and brussel sprouts.

Carrots are your favorite vegetable.

You're absolutely right.

And you like your men bright, witty and very physical.

Exactly. You guys are amazing. You know everything about me.

Of course, we do, darling. We're your parents.

You don't have much to go on.

If you've been legally adopted,

it'd be a lot easier.

There'd be records somewhere.

I'm not saying it's impossible.

People like you have found their parents before.

But, usually it's been both parties are searching.

You need more information.

Talk to the Stiggs. Why?

There might be a detail they forgot to mention

that could lead you in the right direction.

For example, you said something about a...

bogus birth certificate. Now, where did that come from?

O'Rourke.

Dammit. Barbara. I thought I told you to get rid of it.

No.

No.

I wish we could be more encouraging.

Don't you lose heart, young lady.

I haven't.

I've been looking for my daughter for 16 years.

Why has it been so difficult?

Because I left her in the back of a gas station

in the mens room.

That's horrendous.

You don't think I know that?

You don't think I haven't been haunted by that memory everyday for 16 years?

I have.

And I will never forget that night.

Never.

It was 4:00 in the morning and it was five degrees above zero, and...

My little Amy...

My little Amy was a very beautiful child.

What did you say you daughters name was?

What? Her name?

Um, Amy. Why?

Last week as I recall, her name was Lucy.

You sure? Yeah. I'm sure.

And you left her at a supermarket, not a gas station.

Well, I think you're mistaken.

Before that it was Cindy It was five below zero.

And instead of toilet paper, you wrapped her in aluminum foil.

Oh, my God.

You never ever had a daughter.

Don't take my baby.

Give me that thing. No baby's allowed at prison.

You are here. Use my pantyhose.

Sam? Hi, Um...

I was watching a movie.

Something good for the whole family I hope.

Hello, Samantha.

Hi. Actually, it's Katya now.

Oh, all right.

Katya? Katya Volenza.

Nice to meet you.

Oh, Katya if you see Samantha,

can you tell her that this very large package came from her mother today?

"Dear, Samantha, I'm guessing that Henry has been kind enough"

"to put you up, I thought you might need a few things to get you bind"

"until you land a job."

"So I put together this care package."

Not bad. Chocolate rundowns.

"Also, enclosed, you'll find a wicker basket,"

"the very same one in which you first came to us."

I don't believe it.

God. She even saved the blanket. Henry, look at this.

Do you realize what this means, this is exactly what I needed.

That's great, Sam. It's a lot of meatloaf sandwich

and you got yourself a picnic.

Thanks a lot.

"Samantha, I understand what you're trying to do."

"You wish you didn't have to, but maybe, this will help."

"Please remember that we love you and no matter what happens,"

"you will always be Samantha Stigg."

Michiko Hishikawa.

Hi. Hi.

Well, it appears that you are a multi-talented young woman.

A dishwasher, a courier, a gardener, janitor,

security guard. A house painter?

Anything else you can do?

Oh, yeah. I used to be a country violinist.

But I don't do that anymore.

Can you handle a stick shift?

Yes.

You really expect this to lead anything to you?

It's worth a try. I need more information.

Oh, Samantha. Henry.

How nice to see you especially at my age.

Hello, Mrs. Higgins.

I have a bit of a problem and I'm wondering if maybe you could help me.

Well, I'll certainly try.

Great. Well, you see I'm trying to locate my parents, and...

Well, they're not here, dear.

And I've been here whole afternoon.

Oh, no, no. You... You don't understand. You see, uh...

Ooh, my. My...

Am I going to be on TV?

No, no. This is just for my personal use.

My friend Milly Millerton was on TV twice.

Once when her husband died,

and once when her house burnt down.

Would you mind if I asked you a couple of questions?

No, go right ahead.

I'm easy. Great. Um,

You see I recently found out

that the Stiggs are not my real parents.

Well, then who's parents are they?

I don't know. I mean... I mean, No ones.

I mean, they're not my parents.

Um, you see what happened was,

uh, somebody left me on a doorstep 21 years ago.

And those are my parents that's who I'm looking for,

and since you live right across the street, I thought maybe...

Well, they're not here with me, dear.

No. No. You don't...

Samantha, I may be old, but if they were here,

in 21 years I certainly would have bumped into them once or twice.

Yeah. Yeah. You're right.

Okay.

Yeah. Okay.

Forgive me, father. It's probably a sin,

but this conversation is being recorded.

I don't know... I mean...

People in this neighborhood have been living here for like, yo know, 25 years.

Of course they've seen something, right?

Yeah. No.

No. Not there, Sam.

Come on, Henry. Don't be such a chicken shit.

Grumpers has been dead for years.

I don't care. I still have nightmares about that dog.

Not to mention the Perlmutters. Henry. Henry.

We have to talk to them, okay?

What do you want?

Hi, Mr. Perlmutter. Um...

I was wondering if maybe I could ask you and your wife a few questions.

Certainly not.

Where did you get that outfit?

It looks like shit.

Oh... Oh, no.

It's Grumpers.

So, let the record show that I am speaking to Walter and Marilyn Stigg

recently self confessed non-parents.

That's it. That's it. I will...

I'm not gonna be talked to like a common criminal. I'm not gonna do this.

All right. All right. I'll strike that last mark. Stricken.

And I'm not gonna answer another question until you turn that damn thing off.

Dad, Come on. I need this for my search.

Honey. All right.

You know what... Henry where are you going?

You're on your own with this one, fathead.

Now, just relax, honey, okay? We promised we would do this. Let's just do it.

Thank you.

Now...

when exactly was I left on your doorstep?

Uh, May 19th. At what time?

In some time between the morning paper and the afternoon mail.

I mean, what the hell difference does it make?

What did you do when you first found me?

Well, we took you in, uh,

and, you know, because you were cold and hungry and...

And then? We fed you.

Then what? Then you made kaka in your pants.

I'm sure. I mean, what kind of question?

Did it appear as if I've been abused in any way?

No. No. You weren't abused.

Would you describe me as an unhappy baby?

Oh, no, honey.

You were sweet. Not until five days ago

since which time you've become a colossal pain in the ass.

A pain in the ass.

Shit.

Henry? God.

What the hell are you doing?

I'm trying to recreate my birth experience.

I was halfway down the birth canal.

Trying to recognize somebody.

I think you're trying to short circuit here, Sam.

You gotta grab a hold of yourself.

I can't help it.

I can't help it. I have to do something.

Why?

What do you expect to gain from all of this?

I don't know.

A reason, you know. An explanation.

And why is it that most people...

begin their lives, securely nestled

in their mothers arms.

And I began mine in a picnic basket...

on someone's doorstep.

I really do understand how hard this must be for you to accept.

And up until now I've been more than willing to

put up with your endless nonsense

because I really do see how desperate you are to find out where you came from?

Thanks. That's real compassion from you right now...

But, you know what really burns me, Sam?

What?

Ever since we were kids,

all I wanted to be was a musician and it never came easy to me.

I had to practice twice as hard as you to be half this good.

That's not true. Let me finish.

You get locked in the bell free and bingo.

A musical genius is born.

You were given... Listen to me.

An incredible gift.

And I never realized how much I resented you for it,

until I saw you throw it away.

I didn't realize you felt that way.

Now you know.

And if you insist on trashing

everything you had for something that may not even exist.

I mean, that's upto you,

but if you ask me, you're pissing in the wind.

Sam, being adopted isn't the end of the world.

It's not the end of your life.

Good night, Sam. Good night.

Oh, and one more thing.

As long as you're staying at my place I'd rather you didn't wander around naked.

Henry, I'm really sorry, I...

I thought you were sleeping. I didn't mean to bother you.

I didn't say it bothered me. I said don't do it.

"I'm 21 years old and I have only two months to live."

"Sadly I've never known the love of my parents."

"I was left on a doorstep on a May morning, 21 years ago."

"If this sounds familiar and you have any compassion,"

"please contact me before it is too late."

"Sincerly."

"Helplessly Hoping."

Esmeralda Guadalupe Gonsalves.

As you know,

each week we devote a segment of the news to Thursdays child.

Many of these children are orphans.

Words of the state.

Shuffled about between one foster home and the next.

And all of them hoping to find parents who will love them.

This weeks Thursdays child has a problem of a different nature

which was brought to our attention by an ad

that ran in last Sundays classifieds.

She is a 21 year old orphan.

And she's dying.

She too is looking for her parents.

Her biological parents.

She calls herself Helplessly Hoping.

And she's here with us now to share her remarkable story.

Helplessly, thanks for joining us.

Thanks for having me, Jane.

No, the blanket was blue.

Helplessly Hoping?

Right. Blue And the basket was wicker.

No. No. No. No. Wicker. Wicker. Not rattan.

Helplessly Hoping.

Look, I'm obviously not your daughter.

Helplessly Hoping?

Well, if you don't like doing the laundry

you should never have given her away in the first place.

Helplessly Hoping.

Well, let me be the judge of that.

Um, where is it exactly...

Helplessly Hoping. Helplessly...

Wait, wait, wait.

Well, I'm sorry. But that's incorrect.

What is this? Fathead central?

Yeah. Thank you.

Helplessly Hoping.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, Elaine, Hi. Hold on a minute. He's here. Hold on.

It's for you.

Thanks.

Hi, yeah. Well, The phone's been kinda busy today.

Okay.

"Dear Helplessly Hoping,"

"I may know who you're looking for."

"Many years ago though she never admitted."

"Gladys Cray left her baby in a garbage can."

Sounds like a lovely woman.

Oh, I forgot to tell you.

The Cornea institute also called. They can't wait for you to die.

When'd you give your eyes away?

I don't know. I don't know. I was tired.

They promised me a new VCR.

God. I'm starving.

Do you wanna get some tacos or Chinese or something?

I can't. I'm meeting Elaine for dinner.

Again?

I'll leave you the truck though. The keys are in the dresser if you can...

get to it.

It's the third time this week.

Remember, feather the clutch.

And don't park in a loading zone or anything. I can't afford another ticket.

What's the deal with Elaine all of a sudden?

Will you forget about Elaine?

I will if you will.

Hi. Oh... For you.

"Dear, Helplessly Hoping,"

"I don't know quite how to begin."

"Twenty one years ago, I was too young to know what was right."

"You see shortly after you were born,"

"your mother left me for another man."

"I was so brief stricken that I felt incapable of taking care of you."

"So I wrapped you in a blanket,"

"put you in a basket"

"and left you with people who seemed to have more to offer than I did."

"I've regretted it for years and I often wanted to contact you but never had the courage."

"Then last year God granted me a miracle."

"Sophie came home."

"We talked about it and both realized"

"how much we longed to be a happy family again."

"Now that your tragic end is here, there's not a moment to lose."

"If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, please respond."

"Sincerely, Herman Hathaway."

Did you hear that? Herman.

See that.

Mr. Hathaway. Herman.

Oh, God.

Hello, Samantha.

Milos.

I see you're doing well for yourself especially for someone who's dying.

No, no, don't get up on my account.

I didn't mean to aggravate your condition.

What a surprise.

You look surprised.

You have a tissue?

I don't think so. Never mind.

Life has not been particularly easy for you lately. I know that.

I can't make it any easier.

I'm sorry I disappointed you.

But I will not allow you to make it any worse than it has to be.

I want to see you back in my class first thing tomorrow morning,

or I don't want to see you at all.

Milos... This is your last chance. I advice you to take it.

You see, Samantha. I'm of a peculiarly old fashioned view

that the grade should be given only to students who actually attend school.

I'm not ready to go back.

I can't.

Samantha, do you know

how many musicians would sacrifice their right arms to have what you have.

No. You have no idea. Do you?

You think this is all just a big mistake.

Some kind of a terrible curse visited upon you

to make your life miserable.

Yes, I do. Well, you're wrong.

What you have been endowed with, is no accident.

It's a very rare and precious gift.

Something meant to be embraced, nurtured and cherished.

Something meant to be celebrated, for God's sake.

And until you learn that,

you'll never be worthy of the gift.

Milos.

Oh, by the way,

I'll be expecting Samantha Stigg.

Helplessly Hoping will not be allowed on the premises.

I'm coming, honey.

I'm coming baby. Your daddy's here.

Oh, shit.

You slimy little...

Open the door! You get out of here or I'll call the cops.

Open the door. You're not gonna call anybody.

Get out of here.

Coming.

All right. Okay, okay, I'm coming.

A spineless, tiny amoebic little bastard. I can cut his balls off.

Sam. Samantha! What?

Hello, Samantha.

What is this, some kind of conspiracy?

Now don't blame Henry. We came here on our own.

I don't really feel like talking right now.

Well, that's all right. We didn't come here to talk to you.

We better leave, Walter.

Marilyn, wait. Maybe just not yet.

Since she's graced us with her presence,

there are few things I like to get straightened out.

I don't see what there is to talk about.

You've got some hell of a nerve with this attitude of yours.

Who do you think you're talking to strangers or morons or what?

I don't have to listen to this.

Well, you're gonna listen. You're gonna listen, all right.

See, we gave you a loving home,

an education, your music.

Nobody else gave you that.

And I said I would pay you back.

That's not the point, Samantha.

I mean, we're not looking for gratitude.

These are things parents do out of love.

And what do you do?

You turned your birthday into a suicide carnival.

You put an ad in the paper humiliating your mother and me.

And you throw away your music to deliver pizzas?

What business is that of yours?

We're your parents. I mean, It comes with the territory.

Let me tell you something else, Hopelessly Hoping.

You can call yourself Olenska, Yoshikawa or Yo-Yo Ma.

You'll always be Samantha Stigg.

She never existed! Our daughter.

I'm not! No matter what you think.

Get out of my life!

You don't mean that.

All right. Come on. Let's go.

Come on, darling.

You know, your father and I have feelings, too.

Maybe we should have told you, We're not perfect.

We made a mistake.

We did the best we could.

Oh, shit, Henry.

Here's where I get off this ride.

You can cross me off your list, too,

because I just don't think it's amusing anymore.

Um, Elaine's moving in this weekend.

So that gives you and your circus exactly five days to find somewhere else to live.

You wanna find out what it's like to be alone in this world?

Here's your chance, Sam.

Can I ask you a question?

What was so wrong with me at two weeks old?

Did I cry too much?

I have bad table manners.

Why did you keep me that long?

I'm surprised you didn't bill me for room and board.

What if they didn't want me?

What if I died out there, you know. I could have starved to death.

That's what you wanted. At least you cared.

Well, I've got news for you.

I didn't pick you either.

At least I've got the guts to admit it.

Hello. Elaine, it's me Samantha.

There's no one here by that name.

No, listen, Elaine.

I'm really sorry to wake you, but...

What time is it?

Beats me.

What do you want, Samantha?

Elaine, I'm looking for Henry. Is he there?

Yes, he's here.

Well, can I speak to him, please?

He's asleep.

Well, would you mind waking him up? It's very important.

What? Is one of your little wooden friend's running a fever?

Elaine, please, just put him on the phone.

No, Samantha. If you have something to tell him,

I'll give him the message myself.

Okay, okay, okay. Just... Can you tell him that...

that I'm sorry and that I miss him.

And I think his girlfriend's a real asshole.

Adios Amigos.

Morning.

What are you doing here?

The door was locked. I didn't wanna wake you.

Samantha? Look at this.

Hi. Here.

Honey... Where you out here all night?

No, no, no. Just a couple of hours.

Well, you could have awaken us. Sure.

I don't know. Actually, this doorstep isn't a bad place to hang out?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, too, honey.

Dad. I'm sorry, baby.

It's just good to have you home, darling.

Look a this. Well, um, you hungry? Come on in.

Yeah. Let's have some breakfast.

This calls for a celebration. Come on. Come on.

Sam, you want a beer? I'd love one, Dad.

Come on. Come on.

Milos.

I'm sorry.

I will just be a second.

Nice place.

Hey. Hey.

What happened to fathead central?

Oh, the search is over.

You're giving up? Yeah.

Why?

Well, 'cause my mother was right.

I'm just, you know. I'm not gonna find them.

I'm sorry. Yeah, so am I.

Yeah, well...

I don't know. Maybe they'll come looking for me.

I heard what happened with Milos.

What are you gonna do?

I don't know. I don't know. Maybe I'll, um...

Maybe I'll come to your recital and...

watch.

Good. Yeah.

I'm sorry about all this, Henry. I really am.

I don't know how you put up with me.

I didn't, Sam, I moved out. Yeah. I know.

Henry?

Henry?

Good riddance.

Helen Otto.

Listen, I wanna make it up to you though.

Uh, no, no.

I wanna make you dinner tonight.

No, really I prefer that you didn't, actually.

Come on. I'm making an effort here, you know. And I'm sorry.

And you know how I love your spaghetti and yum yums.

Anything you want. You name it, you got it.

Actually, I can't tonight at all, anyway.

Why? Is it Elaine?

Yeah.

Well, bring her along.

Are you serious? Completely.

I still don' know why we're doing this.

She's just trying to be nice.

Look, Henry, I know she's your friend,

but quite frankly, I think she's unstable.

Maybe even schizophrenic.

Oh, come on, she's a little up the wall but she's hardly schizophrenic.

Ouch. Shit.

Don't be so sure.

You have no idea who her real parents are.

For all we know, she could come from deviant chromosomes.

Oh, my God. You think we should call and exterminator?

Almost ready. No hurry.

Henry, I'm serious. Well, then maybe, you should call the exterminator.

Dinner is served.

And then I met this other woman

who wanted to be my mother, but only on a part time basis.

And only if I was wiling to sleep in her attic

and let her call me Snookums.

What's worse is that I actually considered her offer.

You want wine, Elaine?

Oh, sure. Why not?

I don't know what came over me. I guess I was just...

I don't know. I felt that my whole world had sort of collapsed or something

and I went a little bit crazy.

Well, I'm sure that anyone would have been upset.

Well, no, Elaine. I was much more than upset.

I was down right unstable.

Right, Henry? Yes?

Oh, thank you. I'd love some.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Anyway, now that I've got this whole ordeal out of my system,

I'm thinking a lot more clearly.

Well, I'm sure that when you don't know where you've come from,

it's hard to know where you're going.

Exactly, Elaine. Exactly.

Which is why I've been doing a lot of thinking about where I'm going.

And what's most important to me.

That's great, Sam.

Yeah, I know. And I realized that what's most important to me

is that I'm in love with Henry.

I knew it!

And although, he'd never admit it with you sitting right here, Elaine.

I'm quite certain that Henry's in love with me also.

You conniving little bitch.

Elaine, where are you going?

Elaine, don't leave. We haven't had dessert yet.

Elaine?

You don't look so good, Henry.

What is it? Do you need some help?

Oh, God. There. Oh, thank you.

Feeling better? Much better.

And where do you think you're going?

Hi, I... I've... I thought...

Please, Samantha, spare me your thoughts and come inside.

But, before you do...

I need to know something. What?

Is this another impostor or is this the real Samantha Stigg?

It's the one and only.

Samantha!

Downstairs. Now!

Excuse me. I think Henry wants to talk to me.

What?

I don't know what your demented little mind is upto,

but there's no way you're playing that recital.

What are you talking about?

Don't play dumb, Sam. I talked to Milos.

What did he say? He said it was upto me.

So? So forget about it.

I can't do that to Elaine.

The recital is tomorrow night. She's got a lot of people coming.

Henry, you know what this recital means to me.

Maybe you should have thought of that a couple of weeks ago.

Just forget it, Sam. It's not gonna happen.

And there's nothing you can do to change things between me and you.

So stop harassing me. It's not gonna work.

I disagree, Henry. I think you're on the verge of cracking.

Dammit, Samantha.

What makes you think you can get whatever you want

just by bulldozing anyone that gets in your way.

You can't blame me for following my heart.

Well, go follow it somewhere else.

Don't tell me you don't love me, Henry, because I know you do.

Don't tell me how I feel.

Just admit it, Henry. You love me.

Please, Sam. Why do you always have to be so...

Just say it.

You love me.

Yes, I love you.

Like a sister.

And I like it that way.

And I don't know why you had to go and screw up a good thing.

Good morning.

What do you want?

What do I want?

Not a thing.

I'm here to give you something. A gift.

It's quite a magnanimous gift really.

What is it? Well,

it appears to be a baby's hospital bracelet.

Why are you giving it to me?

See, the amazing thing is,

this little bracelet popped out of your wicker basket a few days ago.

And I've been meaning to give it to you ever since,

but I've been so busy rehearsing for Henry's music recital,

that I just plain forgot.

What are you talking about?

Lo and behold, last night I stumbled on it.

And I said to myself,

this could be important to Samantha.

So, here it is from me to you with all my heart.

Livingston's only three hours from here,

and if any luck you can find Mommy and Daddy before dinner time.

I believe the hall of records is on Oak street.

Happy hunting, Samantha.

Or should I say, Helen.

Helen Otto.

Helen Otto?

It's unacceptable.

Hi, this is Elaine.

Leave a message and I'll call you back as soon as I can. Thanks.

Yes, Elaine. This is Mrs. Waters calling

from the Livingston hall of records.

In response to your request, I have located a birth record

for Helen Otto.

And it matches your information on the hospital ID bracelet.

If you'd like a copy of the birth certificate,

I can either send you an application

or you can apply in person. Thank you.

Can I help you?

Are you Mrs. Otto? Yes.

I'm Helen.

Helen Otto.

Oh, my.

What a pleasant surprise.

Please. Come on in.

Neil?

Neil.

Come on down. You'll never guess who's here.

Who? Helen.

Helen who?

Helen Otto. You remember, dear. She was our daughter.

Helen?

For some reason the name Sheryl sticks in my mind.

Oh, no, dear. That was the Coopermans baby.

Oh, yes. Of course.

Well, Helen. Nice to meet you.

How have you been?

Okay.

So, I suppose you must be 18 or 19 years old by now.

Twenty one.

According to the birth certificate, I was born in 1970.

Where does the time go?

Well, you know, she's right. It was '70, honey.

That was a very busy year for you and me.

We redecorated the house and oh...

That was the year we took that wonderful vacation to Lake Tayatogo, remember?

Wasn't that the year we bought the Austin?

I believe it was. Yes.

What a luxurious car.

I don't believe this.

No, really. It had a remarkable ride.

Do you mind if I ask you a question?

Not at all.

Why?

The suspension system I suppose.

No. No.

Why did you abandon me?

Oh.

Well... Well, Helen, um,

as I recall,

Neil and I never planned on having any children,

so when you came along,

we felt it would be inappropriate to keep you.

So, we um,

we wrapped you in a nice warm blanket,

and we put you in our favorite wicker basket...

Oh, I remember that basket.

We used to take it on picnics.

Concerts at the park. Mmm-hmm.

Those were lovely afternoons.

Oh, it was a wonderful basket.

You know, I once fit an entire turkey in that basket.

Turkey?

And a cucumber salad. I loved that salad.

Why didn't you just put me up for adoption?

And give you to just anybody? Hmm.

No. We wanted more for you than that, dear.

And after all, Helen, you were our daughter.

So, what made you think the Stiggs would want me?

Stiggs?

We didn't leave you with any Stiggs.

We gave you to that nice couple we met at Tayatogo. What was their name?

Perlmutter. I'm certain of that. That's right.

Ed and Phyllis Perlmutter. Lovely couple.

Oh, and they had that cute little doggie. What was his name?

Oh, gee.

Grumpers. Grumpers. That's right.

Ed, Phyllis and Grumpers. They seemed like a lovely family.

Well, Walter and Marilyn Stiggs is who I ended up with.

Could we have gotten the address wrong?

Possibly.

But I'm sure it all worked out for the best.

Yeah.

Now, Helen, come see us again.

You're welcome here anytime.

And say hello to your folks whoever they are.

Elaine, somebody sent you flowers.

Oh, really? Yeah.

But hurry. We're up next. Okay.

We're on in ten minutes. What are you doing on the phone?

I know. I'm trying to reach Samantha.

Why in the world would you want to talk to Samantha?

Elaine, who's Helen Otto?

Helen Otto? Mmm-hmm.

You got me.

Some woman called from Livingston, about a birth certificate.

And something about a hospital bracelet.

Oh, right. Helen Otto. I was just doing a little research for Samantha.

Research for Samantha?

I was cleaning up her junk and I found this hospital bracelet.

And you kept it from her?

I gave it to her last night.

The night before the recital?

Henry, you may not care if she sabotages your recital,

but I wasn't taking any chances, okay?

What the hell is the matter with you?

What do you mean?

Elaine.

Samantha may have her faults but she's still happens to be my friend.

Well, that's your problem, Henry.

No, Elaine.

Now it's our problem.

Shit.

Henry, I'm locked in.

Henry, I'm locked in.

Open the door.

Hurry. We're on soon.

Come on, Henry.

Come on. Open the door, Henry.

Henry?

Henry?

This isn't very funny, Henry.

Henry!

Where's Henry and Elaine?

I don't know. They should have been here ten minutes ago.

Henry, where the hell have you been? And where's Elaine?

Trevor, listen, do you remember the Beethoven trio op

because we are now a threesome.

You've got to be kidding. No. No.

We haven't played that piece in over years. I know,

but we're just gonna have to do the best we can.

Dig up the sheet musicians.

Hey. Hey, honey.

Hendricks.

I need to borrow your violin. I need to borrow it.

Now where's he going?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right.

Henry, aren't you up next? What are you doing here?

I was just about to ask you the same thing.

I came here to see your recital.

What happened at Livingston?

How did you know about that? Well, Elaine told me.

So, did you find out what you were looking for?

Well, yeah. Yeah.

But not at Livingston.

Did I miss something? I'm sorry. What?

No, Dad. No. It's nothing.

Here's the deal. We've got an empty chair up there now. And we need...

a violinist. What do you say?

What are you talking about? Where's Elaine?

Elaine's having an anxiety attack.

And she locked herself in the dressing room and she refuses to come out.

You're kidding me. That's too bad.

No.

Well... Think about it.

I can't. I can't. What do you say?

I can't. I can't 'Cause Elaine's practiced really hard for this.

But she practiced and invited all the people.

Remember you told me. Yeah, you're right.

I just feel bad. Okay. We'll do the trio.

But it's no problem, really. I can work something out.

Well, here's your violin.

Well, whose is this? It's Hendricks.

Welcome back.

Help!

Help.

Milos, thank God.

Elaine? Good grief.

Are you locked in? Yes.

Do you have a key? No.

Don't panic, I'll try to find one.

I'll be back in an hour.

Oh!

Bravo. Bravo.

Bravo. Bravo.

That's my daughter up there.

Milos.

Let me out of here.

We're trying darling. We're gonna do it.

We have an expert working on this.

Just calm down, honey.

Breath and... Oh, do you know a little song you can hum or something?

Take your mind of it, 'cause I have every confidence.

All set at this end, Milos.

Okay.

Do you really think this is gonna work?

If anyone can do it, we can do it. Or it can't be done at all.

Hit it, fathead.