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1
00:00:02,497 --> 00:00:05,697
(answering machine)
Tuesday, 10:03 a.m.
2
00:00:05,697 --> 00:00:07,297
(man #1)
Yeah, Jamie, hi.
3
00:00:07,307 --> 00:00:11,017
Uh, it turns out I'm not really
gonna be around Thursday night,
4
00:00:11,007 --> 00:00:13,007
so, uh--
beep!
5
00:00:13,007 --> 00:00:17,307
(answering machine)
Sunday, 12:29 a.m.
6
00:00:17,317 --> 00:00:19,017
(man #2)
Jamie, you were really great,
7
00:00:19,017 --> 00:00:21,027
but, uh, I met someone else.
8
00:00:21,017 --> 00:00:21,817
beep!
9
00:00:21,817 --> 00:00:23,817
(man #3)
I, uh--I wanted to, um--
10
00:00:23,817 --> 00:00:27,017
I got to work tonight,
but, uh, so maybe--
11
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:31,037
I'm thinking sometime next week
or, uh, week after that or--
12
00:00:31,027 --> 00:00:32,227
I'll give you a ring.
13
00:00:32,227 --> 00:00:34,027
beep!
14
00:00:34,027 --> 00:00:38,127
(man #4)
Listen, I--I hate to leave this
on an answering machine.
15
00:00:38,137 --> 00:00:39,737
I mean--
beep!
16
00:00:39,737 --> 00:00:41,747
(man #5)
I still kind of have
a girlfriend,
17
00:00:41,737 --> 00:00:44,137
but if you're cool with that--
beep!
18
00:00:44,137 --> 00:00:46,537
(man #6)
I'm not ready.
beep!
19
00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:49,747
(man #7)
I don't know how to say this,
so I'm just gonna say it.
20
00:00:49,747 --> 00:00:51,357
beep!
21
00:00:51,347 --> 00:00:53,747
(man #8)
I don't really believe
in monogamy.
22
00:00:53,747 --> 00:00:55,747
beep!
23
00:01:02,657 --> 00:01:05,857
(answering machine)
Monday, 10:32 a.m.
24
00:01:05,857 --> 00:01:07,457
(man #1)
Something's kind of come up,
25
00:01:07,467 --> 00:01:10,677
so, um, I'll call you
on Thursday.
26
00:01:10,667 --> 00:01:14,467
(answering machine)
Thursday, 4:53 p.m.
27
00:01:14,467 --> 00:01:16,467
No messages.
28
00:01:20,477 --> 00:01:21,277
beep!
29
00:01:21,277 --> 00:01:24,077
Tuesday, 10:03 a.m.
30
00:01:24,077 --> 00:01:26,077
(woman)
Hello, this is Marian Simms,
31
00:01:26,077 --> 00:01:28,877
and I'm calling about
your Capital Three credit card.
32
00:01:28,887 --> 00:01:30,897
We have--
beep!
33
00:01:30,887 --> 00:01:32,087
beep!
34
00:01:32,087 --> 00:01:33,687
(answering machine)
No messages.
35
00:01:33,687 --> 00:01:35,687
beep!
No messages.
36
00:01:35,687 --> 00:01:37,187
beep!
37
00:01:37,197 --> 00:01:38,397
beep!
38
00:01:38,397 --> 00:01:40,807
(man #1)
Yeah, uh--
beep!
39
00:01:40,797 --> 00:01:43,397
My sister's boyfriend's
brother's got his--
40
00:01:43,397 --> 00:01:44,397
beep!
41
00:01:44,397 --> 00:01:46,397
I'll call you?
beep!
42
00:01:49,307 --> 00:01:50,717
beep!
43
00:01:50,707 --> 00:01:52,707
I think it's time for us
to see other people.
44
00:01:52,707 --> 00:01:53,907
beep!
45
00:01:53,907 --> 00:01:55,307
(man #9)
I need some time alone.
46
00:01:55,307 --> 00:01:56,507
beep!
47
00:01:56,507 --> 00:01:58,107
(man #10)
It's the timing, really.
48
00:02:04,117 --> 00:02:05,717
beep!
49
00:02:05,717 --> 00:02:07,717
(man #1)
Yeah, um, and if you want,
you can just--
50
00:02:07,727 --> 00:02:09,327
you can keep the TV.
51
00:02:09,327 --> 00:02:12,137
[applause on TV]
52
00:02:12,127 --> 00:02:15,727
(man)
We've been getting a lot
of mail wanting to know more
53
00:02:15,727 --> 00:02:20,937
about my incredible
sexual adventures.
54
00:02:23,237 --> 00:02:25,737
So tonight,
I'd like to invite you
55
00:02:25,737 --> 00:02:27,837
to come to my boudoir,
56
00:02:27,847 --> 00:02:29,947
as we say in the French-speaking
part of Ireland.
57
00:02:29,947 --> 00:02:32,957
[phone ringing]
58
00:02:36,147 --> 00:02:37,347
Hello.
59
00:02:37,357 --> 00:02:40,167
Jamie, I can't go
tomorrow night.
60
00:02:40,157 --> 00:02:42,957
Laura, you promised.
61
00:02:42,957 --> 00:02:44,157
I know,
62
00:02:44,157 --> 00:02:46,557
but Paul and I have to finish
the hospital blueprints
63
00:02:46,557 --> 00:02:47,757
by the end of the week.
64
00:02:47,767 --> 00:02:49,167
We just worked till midnight.
65
00:02:49,167 --> 00:02:50,777
My neck is killing me.
66
00:02:50,767 --> 00:02:52,767
I think my mid-cervicals
just rotated.
67
00:02:52,767 --> 00:02:55,567
I thought they rotated
yesterday.
68
00:02:55,567 --> 00:02:56,967
Well, they rotated yesterday,
69
00:02:56,977 --> 00:02:58,977
and then they rotated back
this morning,
70
00:02:58,977 --> 00:03:00,987
and then they re-rotated
this afternoon.
71
00:03:00,977 --> 00:03:02,977
Come on, Laura,
you have to come with me.
72
00:03:02,977 --> 00:03:05,777
If I go alone, I'm gonna look
like some kind of poetry groupie
73
00:03:05,777 --> 00:03:06,977
trying to pick him up.
74
00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:09,387
You know I ruined
his romantic poetry class?
75
00:03:09,387 --> 00:03:12,597
I used to bring up
Lord Byron's pubic hair.
76
00:03:12,587 --> 00:03:13,787
What?
77
00:03:13,787 --> 00:03:16,987
Lord Byron used to send
pubic hair to his lovers.
78
00:03:16,997 --> 00:03:18,597
You're smoking, aren't you?
79
00:03:18,597 --> 00:03:20,207
I can tell by the way
you're talking.
80
00:03:20,197 --> 00:03:22,197
I am not. It's not lit.
81
00:03:22,197 --> 00:03:24,197
It's just a pacifier.
82
00:03:24,197 --> 00:03:25,397
[softly]
Just a minute.
83
00:03:25,397 --> 00:03:26,997
Jamie, I have to go to bed.
84
00:03:27,007 --> 00:03:29,407
Paul and I are, um,
meeting Daddy for--
85
00:03:29,407 --> 00:03:31,017
for breakfast
tomorrow morning.
86
00:03:31,007 --> 00:03:31,807
You want to come?
87
00:03:31,807 --> 00:03:33,407
No, I just saw Dad.
88
00:03:33,407 --> 00:03:35,807
I'm still recovering.
89
00:03:35,807 --> 00:03:38,207
So are you gonna come with me
to the bookstore tomorrow
90
00:03:38,217 --> 00:03:39,817
at 6:45?
91
00:03:39,817 --> 00:03:41,827
He'd better not be
another one of those--
92
00:03:41,817 --> 00:03:43,817
He's not a jerk. I promise.
93
00:03:45,817 --> 00:03:47,817
(woman)
Hi, everybody.
May I have your attention?
94
00:03:47,827 --> 00:03:49,827
Hi, I'm Tanya Wright.
95
00:03:49,827 --> 00:03:51,837
Tonight we have
John Kalicharan with us.
96
00:03:51,827 --> 00:03:55,827
Doubt Me Not is John's
eighth book of poetry.
97
00:03:55,827 --> 00:03:58,627
Eight books.
98
00:03:58,637 --> 00:04:02,847
[applause]
99
00:04:02,837 --> 00:04:04,237
(woman)
He's brilliant.
100
00:04:04,237 --> 00:04:06,137
He's very attractive.
101
00:04:06,137 --> 00:04:08,537
Well, first of all, I'd like
to thank you all for coming.
102
00:04:08,547 --> 00:04:09,747
[Velcro tearing]
103
00:04:09,747 --> 00:04:12,157
I'm very grateful.
Thank you.
104
00:04:12,147 --> 00:04:15,747
"Her left eye
is only a golden blur,
105
00:04:15,747 --> 00:04:17,347
"her ear a vast
musical instrument
106
00:04:17,357 --> 00:04:20,157
"of flesh.
107
00:04:20,157 --> 00:04:23,767
"The moon
spills off my shoulder,
108
00:04:23,757 --> 00:04:25,757
slides into her face."
109
00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:32,177
Thank you so much for coming.
Enjoy the book.
110
00:04:34,167 --> 00:04:36,167
What should I say?
111
00:04:36,167 --> 00:04:39,367
Just be your adorable self.
112
00:04:39,377 --> 00:04:44,187
[people chatting]
113
00:04:44,177 --> 00:04:48,977
Do you remember me?
114
00:04:48,987 --> 00:04:50,997
Jamie Harris.
115
00:04:50,987 --> 00:04:56,587
The romantic poetry seminar
at Bard.
116
00:04:56,587 --> 00:04:58,987
You were very--
117
00:04:58,997 --> 00:05:03,407
I think you challenged
everything I said.
118
00:05:03,397 --> 00:05:05,797
Well, it was nice
seeing you again.
119
00:05:05,797 --> 00:05:08,997
I don't hold it
against you.
120
00:05:09,007 --> 00:05:12,617
Why not?
121
00:05:12,607 --> 00:05:14,007
When are you going back
to New York?
122
00:05:14,007 --> 00:05:15,607
I'm not.
123
00:05:15,607 --> 00:05:19,607
I moved here
a couple of months ago.
124
00:05:19,617 --> 00:05:22,827
By yourself or--
125
00:05:22,817 --> 00:05:24,817
I lived with a woman
for eight years,
126
00:05:24,817 --> 00:05:26,817
but it ended.
127
00:05:30,427 --> 00:05:33,227
Are you with someone or--
128
00:05:33,227 --> 00:05:37,627
Oh, uh, I'm in a really
destructive relationship--
129
00:05:37,637 --> 00:05:39,637
with myself.
130
00:05:39,637 --> 00:05:41,647
Jamie, do not
sleep with him tonight.
131
00:05:41,637 --> 00:05:43,637
No, I won't.
132
00:05:43,637 --> 00:05:44,837
You don't want
to blow this.
133
00:05:44,837 --> 00:05:46,437
He is very promising,
134
00:05:46,437 --> 00:05:48,037
more than anybody
that you've ever--
135
00:05:48,047 --> 00:05:49,647
Okay, Laura,
I will not fuck him.
136
00:05:49,647 --> 00:05:51,257
Can I kiss him?
137
00:05:51,247 --> 00:05:52,047
No.
138
00:05:55,647 --> 00:05:56,847
Come in.
139
00:06:00,857 --> 00:06:02,957
(John)
Nice big hammock.
140
00:06:02,957 --> 00:06:05,557
Oh, yeah, it's a tanning bed.
141
00:06:05,557 --> 00:06:08,757
It's guaranteed to give you
skin cancer within five years.
142
00:06:08,767 --> 00:06:11,277
I named it,
so they gave me one.
143
00:06:11,267 --> 00:06:12,467
You named it?
144
00:06:12,467 --> 00:06:13,267
Mm-hmm.
145
00:06:13,267 --> 00:06:15,267
I name products.
That's what I do.
146
00:06:16,467 --> 00:06:17,267
Do you want a drink?
147
00:06:17,277 --> 00:06:20,487
Yeah. Have you got any wine?
148
00:06:20,477 --> 00:06:23,677
Uh, I don't think so.
149
00:06:23,677 --> 00:06:27,277
I got some scotch.
150
00:06:27,287 --> 00:06:29,687
Rusty water in tuna brine.
151
00:06:29,687 --> 00:06:31,597
(John)
I saw a liquor store
152
00:06:31,587 --> 00:06:34,987
on Wilshire.
153
00:06:34,987 --> 00:06:36,587
I'll be right back.
154
00:06:56,607 --> 00:06:59,007
No, no. I'm not doing it.
I'm not doing it.
155
00:06:59,017 --> 00:06:59,817
I am not.
156
00:07:05,517 --> 00:07:07,117
No.
157
00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:08,727
And I brought you a gift.
158
00:07:08,727 --> 00:07:09,927
Oh, it's beautiful.
159
00:07:09,927 --> 00:07:13,937
I think it sort of matches
what you're wearing.
160
00:07:13,927 --> 00:07:16,327
Sort of. It--
161
00:07:16,327 --> 00:07:17,127
[laughs]
162
00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:19,137
[chuckles]
163
00:07:19,137 --> 00:07:21,547
Thank you.
164
00:07:24,337 --> 00:07:26,337
I'll be right back.
165
00:07:29,947 --> 00:07:31,557
Have you got an opener?
166
00:08:15,487 --> 00:08:20,287
I'm not having sex.
167
00:08:20,297 --> 00:08:23,907
I'm sorry.
I-I thought--
168
00:08:26,697 --> 00:08:31,107
I mean, I shouldn't
have assumed that--
169
00:08:35,107 --> 00:08:39,107
I feel like an idiot.
170
00:08:41,117 --> 00:08:43,517
I'm really very sorry.
171
00:08:51,927 --> 00:08:53,127
Wait!
172
00:09:13,947 --> 00:09:15,947
You're amazing.
173
00:09:15,947 --> 00:09:17,947
You too.
174
00:09:17,957 --> 00:09:22,767
I can't--I can't believe this.
175
00:09:22,757 --> 00:09:29,157
You can't believe what?
176
00:09:29,167 --> 00:09:34,377
I'll tell you, um,
when I know you better.
177
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:40,787
I will know you better.
178
00:09:40,777 --> 00:09:44,077
Yes.
179
00:09:44,077 --> 00:09:46,877
[lawn mower roaring]
180
00:09:53,387 --> 00:09:55,387
John?
181
00:09:56,987 --> 00:09:59,387
Fuck!
182
00:09:59,397 --> 00:10:00,607
Jamie, why do you always
do this?
183
00:10:00,597 --> 00:10:02,597
It is so self-destructive.
184
00:10:02,597 --> 00:10:03,797
Well, he was leaving,
185
00:10:03,797 --> 00:10:06,197
and I thought I was never
gonna see him again.
186
00:10:06,197 --> 00:10:09,197
I just thought sex
was my last chance.
187
00:10:09,207 --> 00:10:12,917
Well, either you're not
a great fuck--
188
00:10:12,907 --> 00:10:16,507
which I think is unlikely,
given all your practice--
189
00:10:16,507 --> 00:10:21,717
or being a great fuck
doesn't make any difference.
190
00:10:21,717 --> 00:10:22,917
Hey.
191
00:10:22,917 --> 00:10:25,317
Either way,
you're screwed.
192
00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:30,527
Um, James, I got to go.
193
00:11:05,357 --> 00:11:07,357
Good morning.
194
00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:08,967
[laughs]
195
00:11:08,967 --> 00:11:10,567
All right, so how many
196
00:11:10,567 --> 00:11:11,377
did you have yesterday?
197
00:11:11,367 --> 00:11:13,367
I didn't have any all day.
198
00:11:13,367 --> 00:11:14,967
Uh-huh.
199
00:11:14,967 --> 00:11:16,967
And then?
200
00:11:16,967 --> 00:11:18,167
And then I had, like,
10 or 15.
201
00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:19,377
Oh, no!
202
00:11:19,377 --> 00:11:20,577
But less than a pack.
203
00:11:20,577 --> 00:11:22,587
Martin, the circumstances
were extenuating.
204
00:11:22,577 --> 00:11:24,577
Yeah, you smell like sex.
205
00:11:24,577 --> 00:11:26,577
Do I smell
like incredible sex?
206
00:11:26,577 --> 00:11:27,377
[sniffs]
207
00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:29,787
Well, either that
or a lot of average sex.
208
00:11:29,787 --> 00:11:31,397
Rowr-rowr!
209
00:11:31,387 --> 00:11:33,387
[laughs]
210
00:11:33,387 --> 00:11:35,787
[sighs]
211
00:11:35,787 --> 00:11:39,387
Hmm.
212
00:11:39,397 --> 00:11:42,607
All right, who is he?
213
00:11:42,597 --> 00:11:46,197
Does he have a nice soul?
214
00:11:46,197 --> 00:11:48,997
He was my teacher.
215
00:11:49,007 --> 00:11:52,217
And his soul looks good.
216
00:11:52,207 --> 00:11:54,607
An older man.
217
00:11:54,607 --> 00:11:56,607
Well, this could be positive.
218
00:12:05,517 --> 00:12:07,117
[knock at door]
219
00:12:19,137 --> 00:12:20,337
Sorry, sorry!
220
00:12:20,337 --> 00:12:22,747
My fly is stuck.
221
00:12:22,737 --> 00:12:25,937
I have an acupuncture
appointment with Martin Mars.
222
00:12:25,937 --> 00:12:29,537
I'm the headache.
223
00:12:29,547 --> 00:12:32,757
I swear, I'm no more perverted
than the next bloke.
224
00:12:35,147 --> 00:12:37,547
I'll pull my shirt out.
225
00:12:37,557 --> 00:12:40,767
Lucky for you, it's--
it's extra large.
226
00:12:43,957 --> 00:12:46,357
Not that that's so small.
227
00:12:46,357 --> 00:12:49,157
Well, medium, maybe.
228
00:12:53,567 --> 00:12:57,567
You look like me mum's
sewing cushion.
229
00:12:57,577 --> 00:12:59,177
What are you in for?
230
00:12:59,177 --> 00:13:00,377
Smoking.
231
00:13:00,377 --> 00:13:01,987
I'm an addict.
232
00:13:05,177 --> 00:13:06,777
You're Mick McCabe.
233
00:13:06,777 --> 00:13:08,377
That would be me, yeah.
234
00:13:08,387 --> 00:13:09,987
Comedy Central at midnight,
235
00:13:09,987 --> 00:13:11,997
hoping you'll laugh once
before you...
236
00:13:11,987 --> 00:13:13,587
[together]
conk out.
237
00:13:13,587 --> 00:13:15,587
Yeah, I watch you
after The Simpsons.
238
00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:16,787
I love The Simpsons.
239
00:13:16,787 --> 00:13:17,987
Simpsons is brilliant.
240
00:13:17,997 --> 00:13:19,197
Me, I'm just--
241
00:13:19,197 --> 00:13:19,997
You're funny too.
242
00:13:19,997 --> 00:13:22,007
Silly Irish loudmouth.
243
00:13:26,197 --> 00:13:27,797
Do they hurt?
244
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:31,017
Oh, they're like rabies shots,
only worse.
245
00:13:33,007 --> 00:13:34,607
[laughs]
246
00:13:58,037 --> 00:14:01,247
(Grant-Lee Phillips)
♪ Heavenly, heavenly. ♪
247
00:14:01,237 --> 00:14:06,437
♪ What other words
could I use to describe... ♪
248
00:14:10,547 --> 00:14:12,457
There used to be
another one of those,
249
00:14:12,447 --> 00:14:15,247
but my ex, Martha, took it.
250
00:14:15,247 --> 00:14:18,447
(Grant-Lee Phillips)
♪ As it covers my eyes? ♪
251
00:14:18,457 --> 00:14:22,867
Well, you know,
I had a crush on you
252
00:14:22,857 --> 00:14:25,657
which, of course,
I couldn't act on.
253
00:14:25,657 --> 00:14:30,057
Is that why
you totally ignored me?
254
00:14:30,067 --> 00:14:31,677
Yeah.
255
00:14:33,667 --> 00:14:36,467
(Grant-Lee Phillips)
♪ Lovingly, lovingly, ♪
256
00:14:36,467 --> 00:14:42,477
♪ every caress
that you ever gave. ♪
257
00:14:45,277 --> 00:14:47,677
(Jamie)
When I was little,
my mom used to read me
258
00:14:47,687 --> 00:14:50,487
this book
called Goodnight Moon.
259
00:14:50,487 --> 00:14:52,897
Every night, we'd say,
260
00:14:52,887 --> 00:14:56,087
"Night-night, lune.
See you soon."
261
00:14:56,087 --> 00:14:58,087
That's lovely.
262
00:14:58,097 --> 00:15:02,807
(Grant-Lee Phillips)
♪ Brushing my fears away, ♪
263
00:15:02,797 --> 00:15:08,797
♪ knowing just what to say. ♪
264
00:15:08,807 --> 00:15:15,617
♪ Heavenly, heavenly,
heavenly, heavenly. ♪ ♪
265
00:15:41,337 --> 00:15:42,537
[laughter]
266
00:15:42,537 --> 00:15:44,937
I name anything--
colored tampons,
267
00:15:44,937 --> 00:15:47,737
eyedrops that correct
your vision for 13 minutes.
268
00:15:47,747 --> 00:15:49,347
You name it, I name it.
269
00:15:49,347 --> 00:15:50,547
What a brilliant job.
270
00:15:50,547 --> 00:15:52,057
Not really.
271
00:15:52,047 --> 00:15:54,047
Sometimes I get
a brilliant idea;
272
00:15:54,047 --> 00:15:55,347
they never use it.
273
00:15:55,347 --> 00:15:57,347
We should have you on the show.
274
00:15:57,347 --> 00:15:58,947
You're kidding.
275
00:15:58,957 --> 00:16:01,767
No, I'm very serious.
276
00:16:01,757 --> 00:16:03,357
Yeah.
277
00:16:04,957 --> 00:16:07,757
You'll be getting a call
from my producer tomorrow.
278
00:16:10,167 --> 00:16:12,577
So how did you get into
this line of business?
279
00:16:12,567 --> 00:16:13,967
Well, I've been a vegan
280
00:16:13,967 --> 00:16:17,167
since my childhood dog,
Butch, died.
281
00:16:17,167 --> 00:16:19,167
I couldn't reconcile
my love of animals
282
00:16:19,177 --> 00:16:22,687
with my sadomasochistic
lifestyle.
283
00:16:22,677 --> 00:16:23,477
[laughter]
284
00:16:23,477 --> 00:16:27,377
S&M attire is 99% leather.
285
00:16:27,377 --> 00:16:30,277
Though I now believe
that my new line
286
00:16:30,287 --> 00:16:33,097
of nonanimal
all-natural products
287
00:16:33,087 --> 00:16:37,487
will finally bring sadomasochism
to the holistic market.
288
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:41,107
[laughter]
289
00:16:41,097 --> 00:16:42,697
Wonderful.
290
00:16:42,697 --> 00:16:45,997
That's gonna be me
in 48 hours.
291
00:16:47,297 --> 00:16:51,007
What if I can't think
of anything funny to say?
292
00:16:51,007 --> 00:16:55,007
You're much more amusing
than he is.
293
00:16:55,007 --> 00:16:57,007
(man)
I think it went well.
294
00:16:57,007 --> 00:16:58,607
Much more.
295
00:16:58,617 --> 00:17:00,617
(Mick)
Good for you, Tom.
296
00:17:02,617 --> 00:17:05,417
I guess I better get going.
297
00:17:05,417 --> 00:17:07,017
(Jamie)
Okay.
298
00:17:07,017 --> 00:17:08,617
(John)
It was really lovely
to meet you.
299
00:17:08,627 --> 00:17:11,437
It's a shame your husband
couldn't come, though.
300
00:17:11,427 --> 00:17:13,427
Yeah, well, he, uh,
doesn't socialize much.
301
00:17:13,427 --> 00:17:15,427
You know,
he works all the time,
302
00:17:15,427 --> 00:17:17,427
as all architects do.
303
00:17:17,427 --> 00:17:19,427
Does that mean
that you work all the time?
304
00:17:21,837 --> 00:17:24,237
Yeah, pretty much.
305
00:17:26,237 --> 00:17:27,437
With that, we leave you.
306
00:17:27,437 --> 00:17:29,037
We'll be back
in two minutes.
307
00:17:29,047 --> 00:17:30,647
Don't go away.
308
00:18:07,887 --> 00:18:10,287
Oh, man.
309
00:18:17,087 --> 00:18:19,087
Can we please have sex
310
00:18:19,097 --> 00:18:21,907
before I embarrass myself
on national television
311
00:18:21,897 --> 00:18:24,697
and have to move
to a TV-free island?
312
00:18:25,897 --> 00:18:29,097
Jamie, we--
313
00:18:29,107 --> 00:18:32,317
Jamie.
314
00:18:32,307 --> 00:18:33,907
We have to talk.
315
00:18:36,307 --> 00:18:38,707
Oh, what?
316
00:18:38,717 --> 00:18:40,317
Martha just showed up.
317
00:18:45,517 --> 00:18:51,127
She said that she wants
to get back together.
318
00:18:51,127 --> 00:18:53,927
You--why, do you want
to get back together with her?
319
00:18:53,927 --> 00:18:55,127
I thought--
320
00:18:55,127 --> 00:18:57,527
I wasn't expecting this.
321
00:19:05,137 --> 00:19:10,337
I was hoping for this
before I met you.
322
00:19:10,347 --> 00:19:11,957
Oh.
323
00:19:20,757 --> 00:19:23,167
I thought I was gonna have kids
with Martha.
324
00:19:23,157 --> 00:19:26,357
We'd been together
for so long.
325
00:19:26,357 --> 00:19:27,957
No, that's right.
She's--you've--
326
00:19:27,967 --> 00:19:31,977
She's the one,
and I'm just the easy chick.
327
00:19:31,967 --> 00:19:34,767
No, that is not
how I think of you.
328
00:19:34,767 --> 00:19:37,167
That is not
how I think of you, Jamie.
329
00:19:46,377 --> 00:19:48,377
(Laura)
I can't believe John did this.
330
00:19:48,387 --> 00:19:50,787
He seemed so great.
331
00:19:50,787 --> 00:19:53,197
Maybe I'm just gonna cancel.
332
00:19:53,187 --> 00:19:55,987
You know, I'm sure they've got
an obscene parrot
333
00:19:55,987 --> 00:19:58,787
they can call
at the last minute.
334
00:19:58,797 --> 00:20:04,007
I can't find my wallet.
335
00:20:03,997 --> 00:20:07,197
Jamie, is something wrong?
336
00:20:07,197 --> 00:20:11,307
My boyfriend broke up with me.
337
00:20:11,307 --> 00:20:12,507
That's too bad.
338
00:20:12,507 --> 00:20:15,307
But you didn't know him
for very long, did you?
339
00:20:15,307 --> 00:20:17,307
Dad.
340
00:20:17,307 --> 00:20:21,817
Thanks, Dad.
That's a big help.
341
00:20:21,817 --> 00:20:24,217
I just meant that, uh--
342
00:20:24,217 --> 00:20:25,817
I was trying, you know--
343
00:20:25,817 --> 00:20:27,817
It's harder the longer
that you know someone.
344
00:20:27,827 --> 00:20:29,027
That's all.
345
00:20:29,027 --> 00:20:31,437
(woman)
It was in the Xerox machine.
346
00:20:31,427 --> 00:20:33,427
Your 2:00 is on his way up.
347
00:20:33,427 --> 00:20:35,027
I have to go.
348
00:20:37,427 --> 00:20:39,427
Don't worry, Jamie.
349
00:20:39,437 --> 00:20:42,247
There's someone out there
who's right for you.
350
00:20:42,237 --> 00:20:43,837
Yeah, well,
what if I never meet him?
351
00:20:43,837 --> 00:20:46,637
What if he's rotting
in a Peruvian prison?
352
00:20:46,637 --> 00:20:49,037
I know.
You feel hurt right now.
353
00:20:49,047 --> 00:20:51,457
Amber, I do not know
how you can be so optimistic.
354
00:20:51,447 --> 00:20:52,647
I mean,
you date a lot of--
355
00:20:52,647 --> 00:20:54,147
Shitheads,
356
00:20:54,147 --> 00:20:57,747
but eventually
I'll find someone incredible.
357
00:21:03,757 --> 00:21:05,357
I'm gonna cancel.
358
00:21:05,357 --> 00:21:07,357
No, you're not.
359
00:21:27,377 --> 00:21:28,577
(woman)
Hi.
360
00:21:28,587 --> 00:21:30,987
I'm Sandy Clarke,
Mick's producer.
361
00:21:30,987 --> 00:21:32,597
We spoke
on the phone.
362
00:21:32,587 --> 00:21:35,387
This is Big Tex.
363
00:21:35,387 --> 00:21:37,687
Oh, you look great,
364
00:21:37,687 --> 00:21:39,287
especially the lips.
365
00:21:39,297 --> 00:21:41,707
[buzzer]
366
00:21:41,697 --> 00:21:44,097
Uh, just want to let you know
we're gonna end
367
00:21:44,097 --> 00:21:47,697
with the vaginal
odor warning strips.
368
00:21:47,697 --> 00:21:49,297
(Mick)
So tell us, Jamie.
369
00:21:49,307 --> 00:21:51,717
How did you become a namer?
370
00:21:51,707 --> 00:21:55,707
I had a roommate
who sold medical supplies.
371
00:21:55,707 --> 00:21:57,307
She got me my first job.
372
00:21:57,307 --> 00:21:58,507
Which was?
373
00:21:58,517 --> 00:22:00,117
Naming a catheter.
374
00:22:00,117 --> 00:22:01,327
[laughter]
375
00:22:01,317 --> 00:22:02,517
I wanted to call it
Urine Trouble,
376
00:22:02,517 --> 00:22:04,717
but they wanted something
more positive.
377
00:22:04,717 --> 00:22:05,917
It wasn't so negative.
378
00:22:05,917 --> 00:22:08,717
It could have been called
Urine Bloody Deep Shit.
379
00:22:08,727 --> 00:22:09,927
[laughs]
380
00:22:09,927 --> 00:22:12,337
Actually,
you're not allowed to mention
381
00:22:12,327 --> 00:22:14,327
blood or shit
or piss or come,
382
00:22:14,327 --> 00:22:15,927
but gas is fine.
383
00:22:15,927 --> 00:22:18,727
[laughter]
384
00:22:18,737 --> 00:22:21,547
Um, so after catheters,
385
00:22:21,537 --> 00:22:24,737
I moved on to antidepressants.
386
00:22:24,737 --> 00:22:26,737
Ooh.
387
00:22:26,737 --> 00:22:28,737
I named Upanol.
388
00:22:28,747 --> 00:22:31,957
I took Upanol.
389
00:22:31,947 --> 00:22:33,147
I nearly went impotent.
390
00:22:33,147 --> 00:22:34,747
[laughs]
391
00:22:34,747 --> 00:22:35,547
[clears throat]
392
00:22:45,257 --> 00:22:46,857
So you're gonna name an SUV.
393
00:22:46,857 --> 00:22:48,857
Where do you start--
by taking a meeting
394
00:22:48,867 --> 00:22:50,867
with those buggers
at General Motors?
395
00:22:50,867 --> 00:22:52,877
Oh, I don't get those jobs.
396
00:22:52,867 --> 00:22:54,867
I get really weird jobs,
397
00:22:54,867 --> 00:23:00,467
like electric strollers
with global positioning.
398
00:23:00,477 --> 00:23:02,487
But someday, hopefully,
399
00:23:02,477 --> 00:23:06,477
you'll graduate onto
the off-road vehicles.
400
00:23:06,477 --> 00:23:07,677
Maybe.
401
00:23:07,677 --> 00:23:09,277
But those jobs are boring.
402
00:23:09,287 --> 00:23:10,987
They all want the same thing--
403
00:23:10,987 --> 00:23:13,397
a new Cherokee.
404
00:23:13,387 --> 00:23:15,787
There's only one minority
for car manufacturers:
405
00:23:15,787 --> 00:23:16,987
American Indians.
406
00:23:16,987 --> 00:23:18,187
You're never gonna see
407
00:23:18,197 --> 00:23:20,597
a four-door Korean
with air-conditioning
408
00:23:20,597 --> 00:23:21,407
and power steering
409
00:23:21,397 --> 00:23:24,197
or a fully loaded
Black Jeep Jew.
410
00:23:24,197 --> 00:23:25,797
[laughs]
411
00:23:25,797 --> 00:23:29,397
[applause]
412
00:23:38,117 --> 00:23:42,927
You know, someone very important
left me a few years ago,
413
00:23:42,917 --> 00:23:50,117
and it was hell for a while,
414
00:23:50,127 --> 00:23:51,327
but you get over it, and--
415
00:23:51,327 --> 00:23:54,137
and hopefully you do better
next time.
416
00:23:54,127 --> 00:23:57,327
[sighs]
417
00:23:57,327 --> 00:24:00,127
That's probably not
much consolation right now.
418
00:24:04,937 --> 00:24:06,537
Oh.
419
00:24:06,537 --> 00:24:08,537
It's okay.
420
00:24:29,967 --> 00:24:31,577
I'm sorry.
421
00:24:39,977 --> 00:24:41,587
Are you okay?
422
00:25:03,797 --> 00:25:06,797
Hey, I have your rings!
423
00:25:06,797 --> 00:25:08,797
[bell ringing]
424
00:25:11,607 --> 00:25:14,407
[bell ringing]
425
00:25:24,317 --> 00:25:26,717
Hey, wait!
426
00:25:52,747 --> 00:25:55,147
Why--
427
00:25:58,357 --> 00:26:01,567
Why are you doing this?
428
00:26:01,557 --> 00:26:03,557
Please talk to me.
429
00:26:07,557 --> 00:26:11,567
My husband left me.
430
00:26:11,567 --> 00:26:14,367
He said our relationship
had grown stale.
431
00:26:14,367 --> 00:26:17,967
I thought we were happy.
432
00:26:20,377 --> 00:26:24,387
I, uh--
433
00:26:24,377 --> 00:26:25,977
We have a son.
434
00:26:28,387 --> 00:26:31,597
He doesn't talk. He--
435
00:26:31,587 --> 00:26:33,987
We don't talk.
436
00:26:33,987 --> 00:26:36,787
He won't even know I'm gone.
437
00:26:36,787 --> 00:26:39,987
Yes, he will.
438
00:26:41,597 --> 00:26:45,197
You know, my mother died
20 years ago.
439
00:26:50,407 --> 00:26:52,817
I miss her every day.
440
00:26:55,807 --> 00:27:00,207
She killed herself.
441
00:27:10,427 --> 00:27:13,237
I guess that was
a pretty selfish thing to do.
442
00:27:13,227 --> 00:27:16,027
She couldn't help it.
443
00:27:16,027 --> 00:27:19,127
Could you please
come down with me?
444
00:27:25,937 --> 00:27:27,537
That's good.
445
00:27:46,757 --> 00:27:49,557
[screams]
446
00:27:49,567 --> 00:27:51,977
[loud thud]
447
00:27:51,967 --> 00:27:55,067
[siren wailing]
448
00:28:01,877 --> 00:28:04,677
[monitor beeping]
449
00:28:08,287 --> 00:28:13,297
(Tanya)
I, uh, thought you might, uh,
450
00:28:13,287 --> 00:28:14,887
like to read some books.
451
00:28:14,887 --> 00:28:18,487
Well, that's, uh--
that's a nice thing to do.
452
00:28:22,097 --> 00:28:26,897
So, uh,
how do you know Jamie?
453
00:28:26,897 --> 00:28:30,497
She, uh--she's been coming
to my bookstore
454
00:28:30,507 --> 00:28:33,717
since she was
a little girl.
455
00:28:33,707 --> 00:28:37,307
She was some kid.
456
00:28:37,307 --> 00:28:39,307
Yeah.
457
00:28:48,927 --> 00:28:50,927
I know you probably think
that I'm unspeakable,
458
00:28:50,927 --> 00:28:52,537
but I have to see Jamie.
Please go.
459
00:28:52,527 --> 00:28:53,727
Look, I have to see her.
460
00:28:53,727 --> 00:28:55,527
(Laura)
She doesn't want to see you.
461
00:28:55,527 --> 00:28:56,727
(John)
Sometimes people in comas
462
00:28:56,727 --> 00:28:58,327
can hear what you're saying.
463
00:28:58,337 --> 00:29:00,737
I thought if she could hear me,
if she could hear my voice,
464
00:29:00,737 --> 00:29:02,747
she might want to know
how much--
465
00:29:02,737 --> 00:29:05,537
We'll leave them for her.
Thanks very much.
466
00:29:05,537 --> 00:29:07,537
It might make her happy.
467
00:29:36,567 --> 00:29:40,167
I dreamt I fucked Homer Simpson.
468
00:29:56,187 --> 00:30:00,187
Did John come?
469
00:30:00,197 --> 00:30:02,207
No.
470
00:30:02,197 --> 00:30:04,997
But everybody else
has been great.
471
00:30:06,997 --> 00:30:08,997
Tanya's been here
a couple times,
472
00:30:09,007 --> 00:30:12,217
and Mick.
473
00:30:12,207 --> 00:30:15,807
I think I had a dream
about Mick.
474
00:30:15,807 --> 00:30:17,807
So you did it with Mick
and Homer Simpson
475
00:30:17,807 --> 00:30:19,807
at the same time?
476
00:30:19,817 --> 00:30:22,227
That's a little freaky, Jamie.
477
00:30:23,817 --> 00:30:27,017
I could have died.
478
00:30:30,627 --> 00:30:34,537
"Dear Jamie,
479
00:30:34,527 --> 00:30:37,727
"I just wanted to thank you
for saving my life.
480
00:30:37,727 --> 00:30:39,327
"I'm in a hospital,
481
00:30:39,337 --> 00:30:42,147
"so I have
a lot of time to think.
482
00:30:42,137 --> 00:30:44,937
"I hope
you're recovering quickly.
483
00:30:44,937 --> 00:30:50,537
All my best,
Jackie Smithson."
484
00:30:50,547 --> 00:30:53,357
You look like your mother.
485
00:31:00,557 --> 00:31:01,967
beep!
486
00:31:01,957 --> 00:31:04,757
[John on answering machine]
Jamie, Jamie, pick up.
487
00:31:04,757 --> 00:31:07,557
You don't need to deal
with that right now.
488
00:31:07,557 --> 00:31:09,557
Play.
489
00:31:09,567 --> 00:31:11,567
(John)
I've made a terrible mistake.
490
00:31:11,567 --> 00:31:13,077
We don't care.
491
00:31:13,067 --> 00:31:15,867
Play.
492
00:31:15,867 --> 00:31:19,867
(John)
I saw her tonight. I knew.
493
00:31:19,877 --> 00:31:21,887
I really am over her
completely.
494
00:31:21,877 --> 00:31:23,477
What do you think
of that "completely"?
495
00:31:23,477 --> 00:31:25,077
I think he's protesting
too much.
496
00:31:25,077 --> 00:31:27,877
He doesn't need the "really"
and the "completely."
497
00:31:27,877 --> 00:31:29,077
Play it again.
498
00:31:29,087 --> 00:31:30,287
beep!
499
00:31:30,287 --> 00:31:32,297
(John)
I really am over her
completely.
500
00:31:32,287 --> 00:31:34,487
He's clearly not stable.
501
00:31:34,487 --> 00:31:39,287
One minute, he's out the door;
the next, he's on his knees.
502
00:31:39,297 --> 00:31:44,507
Sweetie, you've been
through so much lately.
503
00:31:44,497 --> 00:31:46,897
Maybe you shouldn't
call him back for a while.
504
00:31:46,897 --> 00:31:51,597
Just wait
till you feel stronger.
505
00:31:51,607 --> 00:31:53,617
I've only known him
for two weeks,
506
00:31:53,607 --> 00:31:55,207
not counting
the two years in college
507
00:31:55,207 --> 00:31:57,207
I spent fantasizing about him.
508
00:31:57,207 --> 00:31:59,407
What if, all of a sudden,
509
00:31:59,417 --> 00:32:01,417
he really, truly,
completely decides
510
00:32:01,417 --> 00:32:04,227
he wants to be with Martha?
511
00:32:04,217 --> 00:32:07,817
Here, here.
512
00:32:07,817 --> 00:32:10,217
Here.
513
00:32:10,227 --> 00:32:11,027
There you go.
514
00:32:11,027 --> 00:32:12,237
Thank you.
515
00:32:12,227 --> 00:32:13,427
You're welcome.
516
00:32:13,427 --> 00:32:16,627
You're better off alone
right now.
517
00:32:16,627 --> 00:32:19,427
You don't want
another flaky boyfriend.
518
00:32:30,647 --> 00:32:32,657
(Jamie)
This is my life.
519
00:32:32,647 --> 00:32:37,047
I'm just a pathetic
jerk magnet.
520
00:32:37,047 --> 00:32:39,047
Wow, you're pretty hard
on yourself.
521
00:32:39,057 --> 00:32:40,857
I don't know.
522
00:32:40,857 --> 00:32:43,267
Just trying
to face the facts.
523
00:32:57,267 --> 00:32:59,667
What do you think
about celibacy?
524
00:32:59,677 --> 00:33:00,877
I think it sucks.
525
00:33:00,877 --> 00:33:03,287
I'm not talking about you.
526
00:33:03,277 --> 00:33:06,877
[laughs]
527
00:33:10,087 --> 00:33:12,897
I'm thinking celibacy might be
a really good thing for me.
528
00:33:15,687 --> 00:33:21,687
I just don't want to keep doing
what I've been doing.
529
00:33:21,697 --> 00:33:23,707
It hurts too much.
530
00:33:30,107 --> 00:33:35,317
So I thought maybe
if I just spent time with men
531
00:33:35,307 --> 00:33:37,707
without the possibility
of sex.
532
00:33:37,707 --> 00:33:42,517
I think
that's a beautiful idea.
533
00:33:42,517 --> 00:33:45,717
And it doesn't have to be
for the rest of my life.
534
00:33:45,717 --> 00:33:48,117
I'm thinking, like,
three months.
535
00:33:53,327 --> 00:33:56,127
Think I'm still allowed
to masturbate?
536
00:33:56,127 --> 00:33:57,727
As long as you're alone.
537
00:33:57,727 --> 00:34:00,927
[loud knocking]
538
00:34:00,937 --> 00:34:02,947
I'm turning over a new leaf.
539
00:34:02,937 --> 00:34:05,337
You're trying
to get pregnant?
540
00:34:05,337 --> 00:34:08,137
I've taken a vow of celibacy.
541
00:34:08,137 --> 00:34:09,737
But I brought you
a boyfriend.
542
00:34:12,147 --> 00:34:13,347
Stay.
543
00:34:13,347 --> 00:34:15,347
Stay. Steady.
544
00:34:21,357 --> 00:34:25,367
Oh, Mick.
545
00:34:25,357 --> 00:34:28,957
He's amazing.
546
00:34:32,167 --> 00:34:35,767
Oh, I have always
wanted a pet.
547
00:34:39,377 --> 00:34:41,777
What should I name him?
548
00:34:41,777 --> 00:34:45,387
I don't know.
549
00:34:45,377 --> 00:34:46,177
Isaac Newton?
550
00:34:46,177 --> 00:34:47,377
Hello, Isaac.
551
00:34:47,377 --> 00:34:50,977
I think he was celibate.
552
00:34:50,987 --> 00:34:51,787
Wow.
553
00:34:51,787 --> 00:34:52,997
You got him?
554
00:34:52,987 --> 00:34:54,187
How about Ike?
I like Ike.
555
00:34:57,387 --> 00:34:58,987
What do they eat?
556
00:34:58,997 --> 00:35:03,807
My turtle Molly
eats worms and snails
557
00:35:03,797 --> 00:35:05,797
and squirrels and small--
558
00:35:05,797 --> 00:35:06,597
Okay, here.
559
00:35:06,597 --> 00:35:08,597
I'm joking.
560
00:35:08,607 --> 00:35:11,807
(Jamie)
He's been in there
for two days.
561
00:35:11,807 --> 00:35:16,217
I think he has
botfly infestation.
562
00:35:16,207 --> 00:35:18,207
He's probably just constipated.
563
00:35:18,207 --> 00:35:21,007
I'm calling Mick.
564
00:35:21,017 --> 00:35:23,827
(Mick)
Okay, Ike.
565
00:35:23,817 --> 00:35:27,417
It's called an enema.
566
00:35:29,827 --> 00:35:33,837
Yeah, see?
That wasn't so bad.
567
00:35:33,827 --> 00:35:36,227
Handled that
like a real man.
568
00:35:36,227 --> 00:35:37,027
Ooh.
569
00:35:37,027 --> 00:35:38,627
Couldn't have done better
myself.
570
00:35:38,637 --> 00:35:39,437
He's feeling it now.
571
00:35:39,437 --> 00:35:40,637
[Ike farts]
572
00:35:40,637 --> 00:35:46,247
Oh, fucking hell!
573
00:35:46,237 --> 00:35:47,037
It's okay.
574
00:35:55,847 --> 00:35:58,647
It's okay.
575
00:35:58,657 --> 00:36:00,257
Uh, you know what?
576
00:36:00,257 --> 00:36:02,267
Look, it's okay.
577
00:36:07,857 --> 00:36:11,457
Sorry about that.
578
00:36:11,467 --> 00:36:14,677
I thought we were friends.
579
00:36:14,667 --> 00:36:16,267
And we are friends.
580
00:36:21,177 --> 00:36:25,587
I'm just randy,
and it's been a while.
581
00:36:27,977 --> 00:36:31,577
[blow-dryer whirring]
582
00:36:31,587 --> 00:36:35,997
[knock at door]
583
00:36:46,497 --> 00:36:48,097
Well,
584
00:36:48,097 --> 00:36:48,897
I better be going.
585
00:36:52,507 --> 00:36:53,707
You better change.
586
00:36:57,707 --> 00:37:00,307
(Mick)
I wear skirts after work.
587
00:37:00,317 --> 00:37:01,917
Gives the privates
a bit of fresh air.
588
00:37:24,837 --> 00:37:26,037
I miss you.
589
00:37:26,037 --> 00:37:29,237
Yeah, I miss you too.
590
00:37:36,447 --> 00:37:38,847
That was staggering,
591
00:37:38,857 --> 00:37:40,457
how you saved
that woman's life.
592
00:37:40,457 --> 00:37:43,667
It was so scary.
593
00:38:08,577 --> 00:38:10,977
"I love you"?
You can't write that.
594
00:38:14,187 --> 00:38:16,987
I want you to go.
595
00:38:16,987 --> 00:38:18,587
Please.
596
00:38:20,597 --> 00:38:26,207
[saw buzzing]
597
00:38:26,197 --> 00:38:29,897
I think they look a lot better
in the casts.
598
00:38:31,107 --> 00:38:33,517
You know,
when you were in your coma,
599
00:38:33,507 --> 00:38:35,507
you kept screaming, "Homer."
600
00:38:35,507 --> 00:38:37,107
Oh, no.
601
00:38:37,107 --> 00:38:39,507
I studied Greek in college.
I was just wondering--
602
00:38:39,517 --> 00:38:42,327
Um, it was a different Homer.
603
00:38:45,117 --> 00:38:47,517
Well, um,
come back and see me
604
00:38:47,517 --> 00:38:51,517
if you have any tingling
or numbness
605
00:38:51,527 --> 00:38:57,537
or if you want to get a drink
or something sometime.
606
00:39:00,337 --> 00:39:03,547
Uh, I'm celibate.
607
00:39:05,537 --> 00:39:06,737
What's that like?
608
00:39:29,067 --> 00:39:31,067
[squeaking]
609
00:39:37,667 --> 00:39:40,467
Whoa! No, be careful!
He's handicapped.
610
00:39:40,477 --> 00:39:42,487
This, um,
Ike's lunch?
611
00:39:42,477 --> 00:39:45,277
This is a Ratticus norvegicus.
612
00:39:45,277 --> 00:39:46,077
Huh.
613
00:39:46,077 --> 00:39:49,677
For the kids.
614
00:39:49,687 --> 00:39:53,697
So how'd it go with John?
615
00:39:53,687 --> 00:39:58,087
Not so good.
616
00:39:58,087 --> 00:40:00,887
I saw you at the W.
617
00:40:00,897 --> 00:40:02,907
She your type?
618
00:40:02,897 --> 00:40:05,697
Oh, she was on the show.
619
00:40:05,697 --> 00:40:08,897
But it wasn't a date.
620
00:40:08,907 --> 00:40:11,307
That's good.
621
00:40:11,307 --> 00:40:12,517
Oh, you don't want me
to date?
622
00:40:12,507 --> 00:40:13,707
No, I didn't say that.
623
00:40:13,707 --> 00:40:15,307
I just pictured you
with someone
624
00:40:15,307 --> 00:40:16,507
who would at least
get your jokes.
625
00:40:16,507 --> 00:40:18,107
I married someone
who got my jokes,
626
00:40:18,107 --> 00:40:19,707
and that didn't end up
with a laugh.
627
00:40:19,717 --> 00:40:22,117
You were married?
628
00:40:22,117 --> 00:40:24,927
Oh, the one who left you.
629
00:40:24,917 --> 00:40:26,917
I'm late for Martin,
630
00:40:26,917 --> 00:40:28,917
but I had an idea
I wanted to talk to you about.
631
00:40:28,927 --> 00:40:31,727
Could you stop by
the station tomorrow?
632
00:40:31,727 --> 00:40:35,337
Sure.
633
00:40:35,327 --> 00:40:36,527
You got two arms.
634
00:40:36,527 --> 00:40:38,927
Very nice.
635
00:40:38,937 --> 00:40:40,437
We're doing a home-shopping bit,
636
00:40:40,437 --> 00:40:43,247
and we thought you could name
some of the products.
637
00:40:43,237 --> 00:40:44,437
What do you think?
638
00:40:44,437 --> 00:40:46,837
Uh, yeah, I guess so.
639
00:40:46,837 --> 00:40:47,637
Say yes.
Say yes.
640
00:40:47,637 --> 00:40:48,837
Great!
641
00:40:48,837 --> 00:40:50,037
Okay, yes.
642
00:40:50,047 --> 00:40:51,247
Bye, darling.
643
00:40:51,247 --> 00:40:53,457
Ratman is wanted.
644
00:40:53,447 --> 00:40:56,247
He is such a character.
645
00:40:56,247 --> 00:40:57,047
[chuckles]
646
00:40:57,047 --> 00:41:00,247
How did you guys hook up?
647
00:41:00,257 --> 00:41:02,667
Oh, in London
about ten years ago.
648
00:41:05,857 --> 00:41:07,057
He was doing a sitcom,
649
00:41:07,057 --> 00:41:09,857
and I was
the producer's assistant.
650
00:41:09,867 --> 00:41:12,267
So you must have known him
for a really long time.
651
00:41:12,267 --> 00:41:14,677
Mm-hmm.
652
00:41:14,667 --> 00:41:15,867
I know him pretty well.
653
00:41:15,867 --> 00:41:19,467
I mean, we were married.
654
00:41:19,477 --> 00:41:21,077
Got ya.
655
00:41:21,077 --> 00:41:22,277
It's true.
656
00:41:22,277 --> 00:41:24,687
Wait, do you got me,
or is it true?
657
00:41:24,677 --> 00:41:27,477
We were together
about seven years,
658
00:41:27,477 --> 00:41:29,877
until I fell in love
with his wife--
659
00:41:29,887 --> 00:41:32,287
his wife on the show.
660
00:41:32,287 --> 00:41:33,097
Yeah.
661
00:41:33,087 --> 00:41:34,687
Whoa.
662
00:41:34,687 --> 00:41:37,087
Yeah, it was a little tough
getting through that one,
663
00:41:37,087 --> 00:41:39,887
but, you know, now Mick and me,
we're good again.
664
00:41:39,897 --> 00:41:41,497
Oh.
665
00:41:44,697 --> 00:41:49,497
So, uh, how's that whole
celibacy thing going?
666
00:41:49,507 --> 00:41:52,717
38 days.
667
00:41:52,707 --> 00:41:54,707
It's okay.
668
00:41:54,707 --> 00:41:56,007
(Tanya)
Hmm.
669
00:41:56,007 --> 00:41:58,807
(Jamie)
Sometimes the nights are hard.
670
00:41:58,807 --> 00:42:01,407
(Tanya)
Well, I've been
without a man
671
00:42:01,417 --> 00:42:02,627
for over two years.
672
00:42:02,617 --> 00:42:04,217
[chuckles]
673
00:42:05,817 --> 00:42:09,417
And I'm, uh,
tired of it.
674
00:42:17,027 --> 00:42:19,827
Your casts are off.
675
00:42:19,837 --> 00:42:22,237
Yeah, they cut them off.
676
00:42:27,837 --> 00:42:30,637
I don't want to say
the wrong thing again.
677
00:42:30,647 --> 00:42:31,847
And I was hoping--
678
00:42:31,847 --> 00:42:33,457
I don't think
it's a good idea.
679
00:42:33,447 --> 00:42:35,047
Well, your birthday's
coming up.
680
00:42:35,047 --> 00:42:36,647
How do you know
it's my birthday?
681
00:42:36,647 --> 00:42:38,247
Remember?
682
00:42:38,247 --> 00:42:39,447
You showed me your license
683
00:42:39,457 --> 00:42:41,457
where you looked just like
Homer Simpson.
684
00:42:41,457 --> 00:42:43,067
You didn't even know
who Homer Simpson was.
685
00:42:43,057 --> 00:42:47,457
Right, but couldn't I just
take you out to lunch anyway?
686
00:42:47,457 --> 00:42:49,057
No.
687
00:42:54,167 --> 00:42:56,567
Laura's having a birthday party
for me.
688
00:42:56,567 --> 00:42:59,767
Maybe you could come to that.
689
00:42:59,777 --> 00:43:02,177
[people chatting]
690
00:43:02,177 --> 00:43:06,587
[laughter]
691
00:43:06,577 --> 00:43:08,577
Hey, John,
how are you?
692
00:43:16,187 --> 00:43:17,387
Excuse me.
693
00:43:20,597 --> 00:43:23,407
[Jamie laughing]
694
00:43:29,907 --> 00:43:31,107
(Jamie)
I think he could.
695
00:43:31,107 --> 00:43:32,307
I think he could go
all the way.
696
00:43:37,907 --> 00:43:39,107
Happy birthday.
697
00:43:40,317 --> 00:43:42,727
She's probably been getting
a lot of that today.
698
00:43:42,717 --> 00:43:44,317
Maybe you should try
a better line.
699
00:43:44,317 --> 00:43:45,917
What would you suggest?
700
00:43:45,917 --> 00:43:49,117
Oh, how about,
701
00:43:49,127 --> 00:43:51,527
"Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
702
00:43:51,527 --> 00:43:54,737
My life hasn't been the same
since I met you."
703
00:43:54,727 --> 00:43:56,727
I prefer "Happy birthday."
704
00:43:56,727 --> 00:43:58,327
James,
705
00:43:58,327 --> 00:44:01,127
why don't we go see
how Daddy's doing?
706
00:44:11,947 --> 00:44:13,957
(Mr. Harris)
So you were saying?
707
00:44:13,947 --> 00:44:16,747
(Tanya)
I was saying that your position
on corporate architecture,
708
00:44:16,747 --> 00:44:18,747
if anything,
should be quite different.
709
00:44:18,747 --> 00:44:20,747
I mean, I disagree.
710
00:44:20,757 --> 00:44:23,167
Architecture
is absolutely political.
711
00:44:23,157 --> 00:44:24,357
Right?
712
00:44:24,357 --> 00:44:25,957
What about Albert Speer?
713
00:44:25,957 --> 00:44:30,357
Your friend's been criticizing
my outmoded ideas.
714
00:44:30,367 --> 00:44:31,967
She loves
to criticize.
715
00:44:31,967 --> 00:44:35,177
No, no, no, no--
educate.
716
00:44:35,167 --> 00:44:36,367
Albert Speer.
717
00:44:36,367 --> 00:44:37,567
Oh, Dad.
718
00:44:37,567 --> 00:44:39,167
She played
the Albert Speer card.
719
00:44:39,177 --> 00:44:40,777
I did not.
720
00:44:43,577 --> 00:44:45,977
(Mick)
I thought the unwrapping
would be later,
721
00:44:45,977 --> 00:44:47,177
in private.
722
00:44:47,177 --> 00:44:48,777
Oh, no, no, no,
that's okay.
723
00:44:48,777 --> 00:44:51,177
Everybody knows
that I'm celibate.
724
00:44:51,187 --> 00:44:52,387
[laughter]
725
00:44:52,387 --> 00:44:53,997
I didn't know.
726
00:44:53,987 --> 00:44:56,787
Well, you usually don't like
to know about my sex life.
727
00:44:56,787 --> 00:44:59,187
Maybe I've changed.
728
00:44:59,197 --> 00:45:02,807
Daddy, you're acting weird.
729
00:45:05,597 --> 00:45:08,397
Oh, oh.
730
00:45:08,397 --> 00:45:09,997
Aw.
731
00:45:12,007 --> 00:45:13,617
Thanks.
732
00:45:13,607 --> 00:45:17,207
That is the book,
the one you had, isn't it?
733
00:45:17,207 --> 00:45:19,207
You can get her Hello Sun
next year.
734
00:45:23,217 --> 00:45:26,017
So are you still
with Mick's sitcom wife?
735
00:45:26,017 --> 00:45:26,817
Oh, God, no.
736
00:45:26,817 --> 00:45:29,617
She left me for a man,
her first cousin.
737
00:45:29,627 --> 00:45:31,627
You know, English people
are so sick.
738
00:45:31,627 --> 00:45:33,637
(Laura)
Jamie, Amber's here.
739
00:45:33,627 --> 00:45:34,827
You came.
740
00:45:34,827 --> 00:45:36,027
Yeah, just for a minute.
741
00:45:36,027 --> 00:45:37,627
Your father
left his wallet
742
00:45:37,627 --> 00:45:39,627
in the office last night,
and he just--
743
00:45:39,637 --> 00:45:41,637
Oh, I am so jealous.
744
00:45:41,637 --> 00:45:43,247
I'm dying to have a baby,
745
00:45:43,237 --> 00:45:45,637
but my girlfriend wants me
to wait a bit.
746
00:45:45,637 --> 00:45:46,837
May I?
747
00:45:46,837 --> 00:45:49,637
I want to have it
in the bath.
748
00:45:49,647 --> 00:45:51,247
I've been trying to get Paul
to have a kid,
749
00:45:51,247 --> 00:45:52,857
but he's not ready.
750
00:45:52,847 --> 00:45:54,847
I should go.
I'm really tired.
751
00:45:54,847 --> 00:45:56,047
Jamie, you look great.
752
00:45:56,047 --> 00:45:59,247
You look like you're having
a great party.
753
00:45:59,257 --> 00:46:01,657
At least have some cake
or something to eat.
754
00:46:01,657 --> 00:46:02,867
Come on.
755
00:46:02,857 --> 00:46:04,457
Okay, but I really
have to go home.
756
00:46:04,457 --> 00:46:05,657
I'm so tired.
757
00:46:05,657 --> 00:46:08,057
How about you, Jamie?
Do you want a little one?
758
00:46:08,057 --> 00:46:11,257
Oh, I don't think
I'd be a very good mother.
759
00:46:11,267 --> 00:46:15,277
But if I ever have a kid,
I think it'll be in a hospital
760
00:46:15,267 --> 00:46:17,267
under heavy sedation.
761
00:46:17,267 --> 00:46:18,867
Can I have some water,
please?
762
00:46:18,867 --> 00:46:20,867
Sure.
763
00:46:20,877 --> 00:46:23,687
Do you want with gas
or without?
764
00:46:23,677 --> 00:46:25,677
Whatever you have.
765
00:46:31,687 --> 00:46:34,497
Ah!
766
00:46:34,487 --> 00:46:36,887
Honey, oh, you came.
767
00:46:36,887 --> 00:46:38,487
Got back early
for a change.
768
00:46:38,487 --> 00:46:40,087
[Amber screams]
769
00:46:40,097 --> 00:46:41,297
Oh, God.
770
00:46:41,297 --> 00:46:42,497
You okay?
771
00:46:42,497 --> 00:46:44,507
Aah!
772
00:46:44,497 --> 00:46:45,297
I'll get the car.
773
00:46:45,297 --> 00:46:46,497
(man)
Is she all right?
774
00:46:46,497 --> 00:46:48,197
(woman)
Call an ambulance.
775
00:46:53,407 --> 00:46:58,207
Are you sure you don't want
to call the father?
776
00:46:58,207 --> 00:47:01,007
I have to tell you.
777
00:47:01,017 --> 00:47:02,217
You've been so generous--
778
00:47:02,217 --> 00:47:03,827
Everything's
gonna be fine.
779
00:47:03,817 --> 00:47:05,417
and so maternal,
a friend,
780
00:47:05,417 --> 00:47:06,617
really.
Move on down.
781
00:47:06,617 --> 00:47:08,017
Even though--
What are you doing?
782
00:47:08,017 --> 00:47:09,617
She needs to get into the car.
783
00:47:09,627 --> 00:47:11,827
Leave her alone.
She needs to get
into the car.
784
00:47:11,827 --> 00:47:13,437
For God's sakes,
come on.
785
00:47:13,427 --> 00:47:14,727
(Amber)
I am so sorry.
Amber.
786
00:47:14,727 --> 00:47:16,727
It was only once.
787
00:47:19,537 --> 00:47:21,737
He promised me
he would let you know.
788
00:47:21,737 --> 00:47:24,547
You fucking dick.
789
00:47:26,137 --> 00:47:28,537
Look, I--
790
00:47:31,747 --> 00:47:33,357
What's this?
791
00:47:39,457 --> 00:47:43,067
Oh, that is so sweet.
792
00:47:59,477 --> 00:48:03,487
Maybe I could get some of that--
that kiwi chicken.
793
00:48:03,477 --> 00:48:06,677
You used to love that.
794
00:48:06,677 --> 00:48:07,877
No!
795
00:48:13,887 --> 00:48:17,087
Where do you girls
get these guys?
796
00:48:17,087 --> 00:48:19,087
I wasn't such a bad example.
797
00:48:19,087 --> 00:48:23,497
I mean,
if your mother hadn't--
798
00:48:23,497 --> 00:48:24,697
It's not her fault.
799
00:48:54,327 --> 00:48:56,727
What's today?
800
00:48:56,727 --> 00:49:01,127
It's Tuesday.
801
00:49:01,137 --> 00:49:04,347
What happened
to Sunday and Monday?
802
00:49:09,947 --> 00:49:15,557
You're reading Mommy's diary?
803
00:49:15,547 --> 00:49:16,747
Yeah.
804
00:49:18,347 --> 00:49:21,547
Hey, Jamie.
805
00:49:21,557 --> 00:49:27,967
My mid-cervicals
haven't rotated in a week.
806
00:49:27,957 --> 00:49:31,957
My therapist thinks they were
protesting against Paul.
807
00:49:33,167 --> 00:49:35,167
Thai.
808
00:49:35,167 --> 00:49:37,567
Yeah, she's naming products
for Mick's show.
809
00:49:37,567 --> 00:49:42,767
They're doing a takeoff
on the Home Shopping Network.
810
00:49:42,777 --> 00:49:45,187
All right,
I'll see you at work.
811
00:49:45,177 --> 00:49:47,577
Okay. I love you too, Daddy.
812
00:49:47,577 --> 00:49:49,577
Bye.
813
00:49:49,587 --> 00:49:51,987
I can't think of anything.
814
00:49:51,987 --> 00:49:55,197
Well, maybe Mick
will let you have the weekend.
815
00:49:55,187 --> 00:49:57,987
Just tell him
that you're not feeling well.
816
00:49:57,987 --> 00:50:00,787
Then I can't see him
on Saturday.
817
00:50:00,797 --> 00:50:04,007
Are you going out with him?
818
00:50:03,997 --> 00:50:06,797
No, it's not a date.
819
00:50:06,797 --> 00:50:07,597
It's just, you know--
820
00:50:07,597 --> 00:50:09,997
it's not--
it's a day thing.
821
00:50:10,007 --> 00:50:11,907
We're going to Tanya's party.
822
00:50:11,907 --> 00:50:14,317
That's my celibacy calendar.
823
00:50:14,307 --> 00:50:15,507
Laura gave it to me.
824
00:50:15,507 --> 00:50:17,907
(Mick)
So on day 90,
825
00:50:17,907 --> 00:50:20,307
you plan to break your vows?
826
00:50:20,317 --> 00:50:21,917
I don't know yet.
827
00:50:24,317 --> 00:50:27,117
I've been in so many
fucked-up relationships.
828
00:50:27,117 --> 00:50:29,517
I think I want to know the guy
829
00:50:29,527 --> 00:50:32,327
before I take my clothes off
next time.
830
00:50:32,327 --> 00:50:35,537
Do you know me?
831
00:50:35,527 --> 00:50:39,127
A little.
832
00:50:43,137 --> 00:50:47,937
But we're just friends.
833
00:50:47,937 --> 00:50:52,737
No, um, I like you.
834
00:50:52,747 --> 00:50:55,957
And you're different.
835
00:50:55,947 --> 00:50:59,947
You mean because I talk funny
and I wear rat suits?
836
00:50:59,957 --> 00:51:01,157
[laughs]
837
00:51:01,157 --> 00:51:05,967
Yeah, uh, that
and, um...
838
00:51:05,957 --> 00:51:08,657
you're not a jerk.
839
00:51:08,657 --> 00:51:13,467
Does that mean
you couldn't fancy me
840
00:51:13,467 --> 00:51:16,667
because I'm not a jerk?
841
00:51:16,667 --> 00:51:23,877
No, it means I might fancy you
even though you're not a jerk.
842
00:51:26,277 --> 00:51:32,677
Well, then--
843
00:51:32,687 --> 00:51:34,297
What?
844
00:51:34,287 --> 00:51:35,487
Could I kiss you?
845
00:51:35,487 --> 00:51:38,287
Is that allowed?
846
00:51:42,297 --> 00:51:43,907
No.
847
00:51:49,907 --> 00:51:53,117
[people chatting]
848
00:52:11,727 --> 00:52:14,037
Your father really adores you.
849
00:52:14,027 --> 00:52:17,627
He doesn't adore me.
He adores Laura.
850
00:52:17,627 --> 00:52:20,027
No, I saw the way
he looked at you.
851
00:52:20,037 --> 00:52:23,847
I think my mother
adored me.
852
00:52:23,837 --> 00:52:25,437
I know.
853
00:52:25,437 --> 00:52:29,837
I know,
but your father does too.
854
00:52:29,847 --> 00:52:33,857
[people chatting]
855
00:52:54,167 --> 00:52:55,767
(Laura)
Hi, I'm Laura.
856
00:52:57,867 --> 00:52:59,067
Nice to meet you.
857
00:53:02,877 --> 00:53:05,587
No, that's for ice.
858
00:53:05,577 --> 00:53:06,777
Naughty.
859
00:53:06,777 --> 00:53:08,377
You're naughty.
860
00:53:08,377 --> 00:53:09,177
That hurt.
861
00:53:09,177 --> 00:53:11,977
Let's go.
862
00:53:19,697 --> 00:53:21,197
Did you know
he'd be there?
863
00:53:21,197 --> 00:53:23,607
Well, he's a friend
of Tanya's.
864
00:53:23,597 --> 00:53:26,697
So you thought you'd
bring me along just in case.
865
00:53:26,697 --> 00:53:28,697
No, I really wanted you
to come,
866
00:53:28,697 --> 00:53:31,797
and I told you
John and I are just friends.
867
00:53:31,807 --> 00:53:33,007
Then why did you bolt
868
00:53:33,007 --> 00:53:34,617
when you spotted him
with that woman?
869
00:53:38,207 --> 00:53:40,207
I've done
the triangle thing before.
870
00:53:40,217 --> 00:53:41,817
I didn't like it.
871
00:53:45,717 --> 00:53:46,917
beep!
872
00:53:46,917 --> 00:53:50,517
Laura, who is she?
Call me right away.
873
00:53:50,527 --> 00:53:54,437
(Sandy)
I can't believe it.
874
00:53:54,427 --> 00:54:00,827
I cooked her this incredible
Australian lamb dinner.
875
00:54:00,837 --> 00:54:02,037
You liar.
876
00:54:06,437 --> 00:54:10,037
Okay, I ordered it.
877
00:54:10,047 --> 00:54:12,847
It was still incredible.
878
00:54:12,847 --> 00:54:17,257
She ate three platefuls,
and then she dumped me.
879
00:54:21,657 --> 00:54:27,667
We were gonna
have a baby together.
880
00:54:27,657 --> 00:54:30,057
Don't worry.
881
00:54:30,067 --> 00:54:35,677
You'll find somebody else
tomorrow.
882
00:54:35,667 --> 00:54:37,267
[sighs]
883
00:54:37,267 --> 00:54:39,267
You know,
Jamie's pretty cute.
884
00:54:39,267 --> 00:54:40,867
I'd take her,
885
00:54:40,877 --> 00:54:44,487
except I don't think
she's homosexually inclined.
886
00:54:50,487 --> 00:54:53,297
She doesn't like me either.
887
00:55:11,207 --> 00:55:15,217
It's weird having a living thing
in me again.
888
00:55:15,207 --> 00:55:18,407
Well, it's weird
889
00:55:18,407 --> 00:55:22,007
putting my living thing
in you again.
890
00:55:22,017 --> 00:55:25,627
[whining]
891
00:55:37,727 --> 00:55:39,327
[door slams]
892
00:55:51,247 --> 00:55:55,657
(John)
What are you doing here?
893
00:55:55,647 --> 00:55:59,247
I'm spying on you.
894
00:55:59,247 --> 00:56:01,247
Fuck.
895
00:56:01,257 --> 00:56:02,057
What does it look like?
896
00:56:02,057 --> 00:56:04,867
That's what it looks like.
897
00:56:04,857 --> 00:56:07,657
Where's your boyfriend?
898
00:56:07,657 --> 00:56:09,657
I don't have a boyfriend.
899
00:56:09,657 --> 00:56:11,257
Mick is not my boyfriend.
900
00:56:11,267 --> 00:56:12,867
He's just a friend.
901
00:56:12,867 --> 00:56:15,277
I can't believe that you're
pulling this bullshit
902
00:56:15,267 --> 00:56:17,667
after all that "I'll see you
in the moonlight" bullshit.
903
00:56:17,667 --> 00:56:18,867
You know what?
904
00:56:18,867 --> 00:56:22,067
Just go back to Martha.
905
00:56:22,077 --> 00:56:24,487
If you would just slow down
just for a second,
906
00:56:24,477 --> 00:56:26,077
I'd invite you in
to meet my sister.
907
00:56:28,077 --> 00:56:29,277
Your sister.
908
00:56:29,277 --> 00:56:30,477
Yes, my sister.
909
00:56:30,487 --> 00:56:31,687
I saw you.
910
00:56:31,687 --> 00:56:33,287
You spanked your "sister"
911
00:56:33,287 --> 00:56:34,497
after she slapped you
on the ass.
912
00:56:34,487 --> 00:56:35,687
For Christ's sake,
913
00:56:35,687 --> 00:56:38,487
we've been doing that
since we were kids.
914
00:56:38,487 --> 00:56:40,887
I'm sure it has all sorts
of incestuous connotations,
915
00:56:40,897 --> 00:56:43,297
but I'm not in touch
with them.
916
00:56:43,297 --> 00:56:48,107
I feel like an idiot.
917
00:56:48,097 --> 00:56:51,697
Uh, I'm gonna go now.
918
00:56:51,707 --> 00:56:54,517
She'd really like
to meet you.
919
00:56:54,507 --> 00:56:57,307
No, I'm really gonna go now.
920
00:57:01,717 --> 00:57:03,317
[applause]
921
00:57:03,317 --> 00:57:05,727
[buzzer]
922
00:57:25,937 --> 00:57:28,737
Oh!
923
00:57:28,737 --> 00:57:29,537
Good shot.
924
00:57:29,537 --> 00:57:30,737
You're letting me win.
925
00:57:30,747 --> 00:57:31,947
Absolutely not.
926
00:57:31,947 --> 00:57:35,157
What, are you wearing
women's clothing now?
927
00:57:35,147 --> 00:57:39,547
Only hats and bras.
928
00:57:39,547 --> 00:57:41,547
No, it's, uh--
929
00:57:41,557 --> 00:57:43,967
it's a present from my mom.
930
00:57:43,957 --> 00:57:47,157
She hasn't been with anyone
in 20 years,
931
00:57:47,157 --> 00:57:48,357
since my dad.
932
00:57:48,357 --> 00:57:49,957
Were they divorced?
933
00:57:49,967 --> 00:57:51,967
No.
934
00:57:51,967 --> 00:57:55,177
He just got up and left
one day.
935
00:57:55,167 --> 00:57:57,567
What a jerk.
936
00:57:57,567 --> 00:57:58,767
Not really.
937
00:57:58,767 --> 00:58:01,167
He was a good man,
for an Irishman.
938
00:58:01,177 --> 00:58:04,787
Never touched a drink,
939
00:58:04,777 --> 00:58:09,577
never said "fuck,"
940
00:58:09,577 --> 00:58:12,777
good dad.
941
00:58:14,787 --> 00:58:17,587
Would you mind
looking after Molly
942
00:58:17,587 --> 00:58:19,587
for a while
while I'm gone?
943
00:58:19,587 --> 00:58:21,587
You're going away?
944
00:58:21,597 --> 00:58:24,007
To Dublin.
Dublin!
945
00:58:23,997 --> 00:58:26,397
And then I'm taking my mom
to Paris.
946
00:58:26,397 --> 00:58:27,997
She's never been.
947
00:58:27,997 --> 00:58:30,397
That sounds wonderful.
948
00:58:30,407 --> 00:58:32,407
Yeah, I'd love to take her.
949
00:59:03,837 --> 00:59:05,437
Molly's having babies.
950
00:59:05,437 --> 00:59:08,237
I think I'm gonna vomit.
951
00:59:11,947 --> 00:59:13,557
Oh.
952
00:59:13,547 --> 00:59:14,747
Maybe you need a doctor.
953
00:59:14,747 --> 00:59:18,347
Oh, no, it's--
it's morning sickness.
954
00:59:18,347 --> 00:59:20,347
Congratulations.
955
00:59:20,357 --> 00:59:24,367
That's what you wanted,
right?
956
00:59:24,357 --> 00:59:28,357
Well, I had some artificial
insemination fantasies,
957
00:59:28,357 --> 00:59:31,557
but this one
was heterosexual penetration.
958
00:59:31,567 --> 00:59:32,767
Oh.
959
00:59:32,767 --> 00:59:35,577
I thought you were gay now.
960
00:59:35,567 --> 00:59:39,967
I'm bisexual.
I just prefer women.
961
00:59:39,967 --> 00:59:42,367
Wow, what are you gonna do?
962
00:59:42,377 --> 00:59:45,587
Well, I'm gonna have it.
963
00:59:47,577 --> 00:59:49,977
I'm even thinking
of getting married again.
964
00:59:49,977 --> 00:59:51,577
With the father?
965
00:59:51,587 --> 00:59:52,787
Mm-hmm.
966
00:59:52,787 --> 00:59:54,797
Well, Mick's a good husband.
967
00:59:54,787 --> 00:59:57,187
He'd make a great dad.
968
00:59:57,187 --> 01:00:01,187
Mick?
969
01:00:01,197 --> 01:00:04,007
Mick's the father?
970
01:00:03,997 --> 01:00:06,097
Did you know
he was fucking Sandy?
971
01:00:06,097 --> 01:00:08,097
No.
972
01:00:08,097 --> 01:00:12,097
No, of course not.
I would have told you that.
973
01:00:12,107 --> 01:00:14,517
I thought we were friends.
974
01:00:14,507 --> 01:00:19,307
Friends tell each other
things like that.
975
01:00:47,437 --> 01:00:50,637
You think we should tell Jamie?
976
01:00:50,647 --> 01:00:53,447
What would we say?
977
01:00:53,447 --> 01:00:57,857
That we're friends.
978
01:00:57,847 --> 01:01:01,047
Then she might think
that we're more than friends.
979
01:01:01,057 --> 01:01:03,057
But we're not.
980
01:01:03,057 --> 01:01:04,667
I know, but she could think.
981
01:01:04,657 --> 01:01:06,257
You're right.
982
01:01:06,257 --> 01:01:08,657
You're right.
983
01:01:11,767 --> 01:01:14,677
You're smoking now.
984
01:01:14,667 --> 01:01:18,267
[phone ringing]
985
01:01:18,267 --> 01:01:19,867
(John)
Yeah, this is John.
986
01:01:19,867 --> 01:01:21,867
I'm out,
so please leave a message.
987
01:01:21,877 --> 01:01:23,077
Thank you.
988
01:01:23,077 --> 01:01:24,287
beep!
989
01:01:24,277 --> 01:01:25,077
Oh, God, I can't.
990
01:01:25,077 --> 01:01:30,277
[phone rings]
991
01:01:30,287 --> 01:01:32,287
Hello.
992
01:01:32,287 --> 01:01:34,297
I got back early.
What are you up to tonight?
993
01:01:34,287 --> 01:01:40,287
Uh, I...have a lot of work.
994
01:01:40,297 --> 01:01:44,307
Then I'll just stop by tomorrow
995
01:01:44,297 --> 01:01:47,097
and pick up Molly.
996
01:01:52,707 --> 01:01:54,317
I brought you a present.
997
01:01:57,507 --> 01:02:02,307
My old Irish sweater
from when I was a kid.
998
01:02:02,317 --> 01:02:04,327
No, Irish fisherman's sweater.
999
01:02:04,317 --> 01:02:10,317
But non-Irish non-fishers
are permitted to wear them.
1000
01:02:10,327 --> 01:02:11,927
You know, looks kind of big.
1001
01:02:11,927 --> 01:02:13,127
Maybe you should just keep it.
1002
01:02:13,127 --> 01:02:15,937
[teakettle whistling]
1003
01:02:20,337 --> 01:02:21,537
Molly and Ike are having--
1004
01:02:23,137 --> 01:02:24,847
Babies.
1005
01:02:28,837 --> 01:02:30,837
Jamie,
1006
01:02:30,847 --> 01:02:32,847
I have something
to tell you.
1007
01:02:32,847 --> 01:02:36,057
I already know.
1008
01:02:36,047 --> 01:02:37,247
Why didn't you tell me?
1009
01:02:39,247 --> 01:02:42,047
Well, I only found out about it
last night.
1010
01:02:44,057 --> 01:02:45,257
Why are you lying?
1011
01:02:45,257 --> 01:02:47,257
I found out last week
you were getting married.
1012
01:02:47,257 --> 01:02:48,757
Married?
1013
01:02:48,757 --> 01:02:53,357
You're marrying Sandy.
1014
01:02:53,367 --> 01:02:55,377
Why would I marry
a lesbian,
1015
01:02:55,367 --> 01:02:57,367
especially one
that I've already divorced?
1016
01:02:57,367 --> 01:02:59,567
Last night,
she mumbled something,
1017
01:02:59,567 --> 01:03:01,567
but no.
1018
01:03:05,977 --> 01:03:11,177
So how'd she...get pregnant?
1019
01:03:11,187 --> 01:03:15,997
I went over there one night
1020
01:03:15,987 --> 01:03:18,787
right after her girlfriend
walked out.
1021
01:03:18,787 --> 01:03:20,787
You wanted to make her
feel better?
1022
01:03:20,797 --> 01:03:22,397
No, I wanted me
to feel better.
1023
01:03:22,397 --> 01:03:24,407
It was right after
Tanya's party.
1024
01:03:27,197 --> 01:03:28,797
So it only happened once.
1025
01:03:28,797 --> 01:03:29,997
Oh, yeah.
1026
01:03:29,997 --> 01:03:34,007
We were drunk and--
1027
01:03:34,007 --> 01:03:38,407
the condom fell off inside her
right after.
1028
01:03:38,407 --> 01:03:41,207
Well--
1029
01:03:41,217 --> 01:03:43,217
You get the idea.
1030
01:03:43,217 --> 01:03:45,627
So you happy
about being a father?
1031
01:03:47,417 --> 01:03:48,617
Yeah.
1032
01:03:51,427 --> 01:03:55,037
I'm terrified.
1033
01:03:55,027 --> 01:03:59,027
But, um,
1034
01:03:59,027 --> 01:04:01,827
I'm gonna be here for this kid
no matter what.
1035
01:04:06,237 --> 01:04:09,437
That's great.
1036
01:04:14,647 --> 01:04:16,647
They don't look
like sisters.
1037
01:04:25,457 --> 01:04:27,457
I'm thinking
about breaking my celibacy.
1038
01:04:30,257 --> 01:04:31,457
With who?
1039
01:04:31,467 --> 01:04:34,277
Mick.
1040
01:04:34,267 --> 01:04:37,867
That's great.
1041
01:04:37,867 --> 01:04:39,867
You know what's weird?
1042
01:04:39,867 --> 01:04:41,867
If I hadn't been celibate
and gotten to know Mick,
1043
01:04:41,877 --> 01:04:43,887
I'd probably be with John
right now,
1044
01:04:43,877 --> 01:04:47,877
even though he's really
not right for me.
1045
01:04:47,877 --> 01:04:49,877
Yeah.
1046
01:04:49,877 --> 01:04:53,887
He's not of my world,
you know?
1047
01:04:53,887 --> 01:04:55,487
He doesn't know Homer Simpson.
1048
01:04:55,487 --> 01:04:58,287
Jamie, you've been
with a lot of guys.
1049
01:04:58,287 --> 01:04:59,887
And I'm sure
they all knew Homer Simpson,
1050
01:04:59,887 --> 01:05:02,687
and they were idiots.
1051
01:05:02,697 --> 01:05:05,107
Are you saying
I should be with John?
1052
01:05:05,097 --> 01:05:07,497
I didn't say that.
1053
01:05:13,907 --> 01:05:17,907
Hey, you're probably making
the right choice.
1054
01:05:17,907 --> 01:05:21,607
Mick's a goofball
just like you.
1055
01:05:21,617 --> 01:05:23,217
[laughs]
1056
01:05:23,217 --> 01:05:26,427
Anyway, John, was, you know--
1057
01:05:26,417 --> 01:05:30,017
he was your teacher, and--
1058
01:05:30,017 --> 01:05:34,827
and he's kind of cerebral
like Daddy.
1059
01:05:34,827 --> 01:05:37,627
It's probably an Oedipal thing.
1060
01:05:37,627 --> 01:05:40,427
Yeah, that's your territory.
1061
01:05:40,437 --> 01:05:45,247
Oh, yeah, right.
1062
01:05:45,237 --> 01:05:46,837
Are you gonna tell John?
1063
01:05:46,837 --> 01:05:50,437
It's Mick.
1064
01:05:50,447 --> 01:05:57,257
Um, yup.
1065
01:05:57,247 --> 01:06:02,047
Well, I saw that one coming
a mile off.
1066
01:06:02,057 --> 01:06:05,667
You could be
more disappointed.
1067
01:06:05,657 --> 01:06:08,857
I want you to be happy.
1068
01:06:14,867 --> 01:06:16,867
You could still be
more disappointed.
1069
01:06:16,867 --> 01:06:18,867
I am. I'm crushed.
1070
01:06:24,477 --> 01:06:26,777
So you've got five days
of celibacy left.
1071
01:06:26,777 --> 01:06:29,577
Uh, yeah,
midnight Friday.
1072
01:06:29,577 --> 01:06:31,177
Any plans to celebrate?
1073
01:06:31,187 --> 01:06:33,187
Mm-mm, not yet.
1074
01:06:36,387 --> 01:06:41,487
Would you, uh,
like to celebrate with me?
1075
01:06:41,497 --> 01:06:44,407
Celebrate how?
1076
01:06:44,397 --> 01:06:45,197
We could go somewhere--
1077
01:06:45,197 --> 01:06:47,197
separate bedrooms, of course.
1078
01:06:50,607 --> 01:06:52,607
One would be cheaper.
1079
01:06:54,607 --> 01:06:57,407
I'm pretending to be calm
right now.
1080
01:07:07,317 --> 01:07:08,517
Blue.
1081
01:07:08,517 --> 01:07:11,717
[Jamie laughs]
1082
01:07:43,757 --> 01:07:45,767
I'm nervous.
1083
01:07:47,757 --> 01:07:50,557
It's not like
I haven't done this before.
1084
01:07:53,767 --> 01:07:57,377
I thought the whole idea
was that...
1085
01:07:57,367 --> 01:07:59,367
you hadn't
done this before.
1086
01:08:01,777 --> 01:08:04,187
Are you nervous?
1087
01:08:04,177 --> 01:08:07,777
Fucking hell, yeah.
1088
01:08:14,587 --> 01:08:16,987
Should we lie down?
1089
01:08:25,397 --> 01:08:27,397
Do you want me
to make the first move,
1090
01:08:27,397 --> 01:08:30,597
or would you like to?
1091
01:08:30,607 --> 01:08:32,607
You can.
1092
01:09:13,847 --> 01:09:16,257
What do you like?
1093
01:09:16,247 --> 01:09:20,647
Um, ear kissing.
1094
01:09:20,657 --> 01:09:23,057
Ear kissing.
1095
01:09:23,057 --> 01:09:25,867
Left or right?
1096
01:09:25,857 --> 01:09:26,657
Left.
1097
01:09:26,657 --> 01:09:28,657
Left?
1098
01:09:28,657 --> 01:09:31,457
Come here.
1099
01:09:31,467 --> 01:09:33,467
[laughs]
1100
01:09:44,277 --> 01:09:46,277
How do I look?
1101
01:09:46,277 --> 01:09:49,077
Blue is a very good color
on you.
1102
01:10:13,507 --> 01:10:16,317
I like you a lot,
Jamie Harris.
1103
01:10:21,517 --> 01:10:24,327
Um--
1104
01:10:24,317 --> 01:10:29,117
This, uh--
1105
01:10:29,117 --> 01:10:30,717
What? What's wrong?
1106
01:10:30,727 --> 01:10:33,927
This, uh--this--
1107
01:10:33,927 --> 01:10:36,737
this is weird.
1108
01:10:36,727 --> 01:10:38,327
It's weird.
1109
01:10:42,337 --> 01:10:43,937
Do you want me to stop?
1110
01:10:43,937 --> 01:10:47,547
Why don't you come?
1111
01:10:47,537 --> 01:10:50,337
Not if you're not going to.
1112
01:11:00,347 --> 01:11:04,357
I feel bad.
1113
01:11:58,407 --> 01:12:00,407
Mm.
1114
01:13:34,107 --> 01:13:37,317
Look at me. Look at me.
Look at me. Look at me.
1115
01:13:37,307 --> 01:13:39,707
Thank you.
1116
01:13:39,707 --> 01:13:42,107
Okay, lay back.
Lay back. Lay back.
1117
01:13:58,927 --> 01:14:00,927
[shrieks]
1118
01:14:18,147 --> 01:14:20,847
Jamie, I need to know something.
1119
01:14:20,847 --> 01:14:24,457
What?
1120
01:14:24,457 --> 01:14:26,857
You're not gonna be...
1121
01:14:26,857 --> 01:14:29,257
off having sex
with other blokes, are you?
1122
01:14:29,257 --> 01:14:34,467
Are--are you--
1123
01:14:34,467 --> 01:14:38,867
are you asking, like,
for a commitment?
1124
01:14:38,867 --> 01:14:40,867
Yeah, I am.
1125
01:14:43,677 --> 01:14:46,087
I've never, uh--
1126
01:14:46,077 --> 01:14:50,477
Well, I mean, nobody's--
1127
01:14:50,477 --> 01:14:51,277
I've never done that.
1128
01:14:51,287 --> 01:14:54,497
Well, I don't want
to be worrying
1129
01:14:54,487 --> 01:14:59,287
you're off
with some asshole.
1130
01:14:59,287 --> 01:15:01,287
That would be pretty stupid
1131
01:15:01,297 --> 01:15:03,297
when I could be with you.
1132
01:15:03,297 --> 01:15:06,107
People do stupid things,
1133
01:15:06,097 --> 01:15:10,097
especially when there's nothing
keeping them from doing them.
1134
01:15:17,307 --> 01:15:18,907
Okay.
1135
01:15:18,907 --> 01:15:20,907
Okay what?
1136
01:15:20,907 --> 01:15:23,707
Okay, let's do it.
1137
01:15:34,527 --> 01:15:36,127
Okay.
1138
01:15:38,927 --> 01:15:43,327
Oh, I cannot believe I just went
from celibacy to monogamy
1139
01:15:43,337 --> 01:15:44,947
in one weekend.
1140
01:15:44,937 --> 01:15:47,737
Are you sure that's healthy?
1141
01:15:47,737 --> 01:15:49,737
Only in this case.
1142
01:15:54,547 --> 01:15:58,147
I need a name
for a cleanser,
1143
01:15:58,147 --> 01:16:01,747
something like Mr. Clean.
1144
01:16:01,757 --> 01:16:04,567
What about Mrs. Clean?
1145
01:16:04,557 --> 01:16:08,157
Huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
1146
01:16:19,767 --> 01:16:21,367
I love you.
1147
01:16:23,377 --> 01:16:25,387
You do?
1148
01:16:28,577 --> 01:16:32,577
No one's ever said that to me.
1149
01:16:32,587 --> 01:16:37,497
So you've--
1150
01:16:37,487 --> 01:16:43,087
you've never said it
to anyone?
1151
01:16:49,897 --> 01:16:55,907
Well...
1152
01:16:55,907 --> 01:16:58,707
how do you feel
about giving it a try?
1153
01:16:58,707 --> 01:16:59,507
You don't have to.
1154
01:17:01,917 --> 01:17:05,527
I think I can do it.
1155
01:17:05,517 --> 01:17:07,117
I love you.
1156
01:17:07,117 --> 01:17:08,717
What'd you say?
1157
01:17:34,147 --> 01:17:36,157
Oh, my God, guys,
be careful.
1158
01:17:36,147 --> 01:17:37,347
Whoa!
1159
01:17:40,547 --> 01:17:42,947
(Laura)
Where do you want this?
1160
01:17:42,957 --> 01:17:44,967
(Jamie)
Uh, turtles,
put them over there.
1161
01:17:48,557 --> 01:17:54,967
Mmmmmm.
1162
01:17:54,967 --> 01:17:57,367
Did you hear that?
1163
01:18:00,567 --> 01:18:02,967
I got to go to my birthing class
in five minutes.
1164
01:18:02,977 --> 01:18:04,577
Just when I'm beating you?
1165
01:18:04,577 --> 01:18:05,787
Do you have to?
1166
01:18:05,777 --> 01:18:07,377
Tonight's the umbilical cord.
1167
01:18:07,377 --> 01:18:08,877
I have to learn about that.
1168
01:18:08,877 --> 01:18:11,277
Why?
Just gonna cut it off.
1169
01:18:11,287 --> 01:18:12,087
Jamie!
1170
01:18:12,087 --> 01:18:14,087
Well, you know, I'm sorry.
1171
01:18:14,087 --> 01:18:16,097
You're just always thinking
about the kid,
1172
01:18:16,087 --> 01:18:17,287
and it's not even
been born yet.
1173
01:18:23,297 --> 01:18:26,107
Fuck, I don't think I'm ready
to be a stepmother
1174
01:18:26,097 --> 01:18:28,897
or step-girlfriend, whatever.
1175
01:18:31,407 --> 01:18:33,807
I don't even know
what a mother does.
1176
01:18:40,607 --> 01:18:42,607
You'll learn.
1177
01:18:47,417 --> 01:18:50,617
It's just hard
1178
01:18:50,617 --> 01:18:56,627
'cause you don't have
a mother of your own.
1179
01:18:56,627 --> 01:18:58,627
[phone rings]
1180
01:18:58,627 --> 01:19:01,427
(Jamie)
Hi, leave messages for Jamie
or Mick after the beep.
1181
01:19:01,437 --> 01:19:03,037
You can reach Jamie
at her old number
1182
01:19:03,037 --> 01:19:03,837
during the day.
1183
01:19:03,837 --> 01:19:05,047
beep!
1184
01:19:05,037 --> 01:19:07,437
(Mick)
Hi, I have to work late.
1185
01:19:07,437 --> 01:19:10,237
Don't wait up for me.
Bye.
1186
01:19:13,047 --> 01:19:15,857
[whirring]
1187
01:19:25,857 --> 01:19:29,057
[phone rings]
1188
01:19:29,057 --> 01:19:30,657
Hello.
1189
01:19:30,657 --> 01:19:32,657
(man)
Hi, this is Mark,
Mick's new assistant.
1190
01:19:32,667 --> 01:19:34,667
Is he there?
1191
01:19:34,667 --> 01:19:36,677
He's at work.
1192
01:19:36,667 --> 01:19:39,067
Uh, I'll get him on his cell.
1193
01:19:39,067 --> 01:19:40,667
Okay.
1194
01:19:42,277 --> 01:19:43,477
[touch tones]
1195
01:19:43,477 --> 01:19:45,887
[phone rings]
1196
01:19:45,877 --> 01:19:46,677
(Mick)
Hi.
1197
01:19:46,677 --> 01:19:49,077
Hey. How's work?
1198
01:19:49,077 --> 01:19:50,277
I'm busy.
1199
01:19:50,277 --> 01:19:53,077
I'm the middle--
can I call you back?
1200
01:19:53,087 --> 01:19:55,097
Yeah, you know,
don't bother.
1201
01:20:10,897 --> 01:20:13,697
[woman laughing]
1202
01:20:24,917 --> 01:20:27,317
(Grant-Lee Phillips)
♪ Save your breath. ♪
1203
01:20:27,317 --> 01:20:31,317
♪ Save your promises. ♪
1204
01:20:31,327 --> 01:20:36,937
♪ They'll be
the death of you. ♪ ♪
1205
01:20:36,927 --> 01:20:50,537
♪ ♪
1206
01:20:50,537 --> 01:20:51,337
Hey.
1207
01:20:54,947 --> 01:20:59,347
Your arms look good.
1208
01:20:59,347 --> 01:21:02,547
The casts, remember?
1209
01:21:02,557 --> 01:21:03,357
Zzzz!
1210
01:21:06,957 --> 01:21:10,157
Oh, hey. Yeah, right.
1211
01:21:13,367 --> 01:21:15,377
Want to get a drink?
1212
01:21:19,367 --> 01:21:20,967
[horn honks]
1213
01:21:20,967 --> 01:21:24,977
You know, I've had
a crush on you, uh,
1214
01:21:24,977 --> 01:21:26,577
ever since--
1215
01:21:26,577 --> 01:21:28,977
Since I was a vegetable?
1216
01:21:33,387 --> 01:21:37,397
Yeah, well.
1217
01:21:37,387 --> 01:21:40,187
I promise--
1218
01:21:40,187 --> 01:21:44,587
I never acted on it.
1219
01:21:44,597 --> 01:21:46,207
Why not?
1220
01:21:58,607 --> 01:22:00,207
I can't do this.
1221
01:22:00,207 --> 01:22:01,807
Whoa, go ahead.
1222
01:22:01,817 --> 01:22:05,027
I have to go.
1223
01:22:10,217 --> 01:22:13,817
Where have you been?
1224
01:22:13,827 --> 01:22:17,437
I, um, went for a drink
1225
01:22:17,427 --> 01:22:20,227
after watching you
finger the woman
1226
01:22:20,227 --> 01:22:21,827
who fucked my sister's husband.
1227
01:22:27,837 --> 01:22:31,037
Jamie.
1228
01:22:31,037 --> 01:22:35,047
I was practicing
water birthing.
1229
01:22:35,047 --> 01:22:37,847
Sandy was in the next room
with Amber's baby.
1230
01:22:37,847 --> 01:22:40,647
I don't understand.
1231
01:22:40,647 --> 01:22:45,457
Amber's become
a water birthing coach.
1232
01:22:48,657 --> 01:22:51,057
And she's practicing with you?
1233
01:22:51,057 --> 01:22:53,057
And Sandy.
1234
01:22:53,067 --> 01:22:54,267
What?
1235
01:22:54,267 --> 01:22:55,477
What are--what are--
1236
01:22:55,467 --> 01:22:57,867
Sandy and Amber are an item.
1237
01:22:59,867 --> 01:23:01,467
Amber didn't want you
to know yet
1238
01:23:01,477 --> 01:23:04,677
because she thinks
you and Laura still hate her.
1239
01:23:20,287 --> 01:23:21,887
Where have you been?
1240
01:23:21,897 --> 01:23:24,697
I went for a drink--
1241
01:23:24,697 --> 01:23:29,107
or seven.
1242
01:23:29,097 --> 01:23:30,297
I can smell him.
1243
01:23:33,507 --> 01:23:35,117
I didn't do it.
1244
01:23:35,107 --> 01:23:35,907
No, no, no, no,
1245
01:23:35,907 --> 01:23:37,107
I didn't do it.
1246
01:23:37,107 --> 01:23:37,907
I couldn't.
1247
01:23:37,907 --> 01:23:39,507
I went there.
I tried.
1248
01:23:39,507 --> 01:23:43,507
Oh, he was too drunk
to get it up?
1249
01:23:43,517 --> 01:23:44,717
No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
1250
01:23:44,717 --> 01:23:46,327
I just--we just made out
a little bit.
1251
01:23:46,317 --> 01:23:48,717
I was really, really drunk,
and I couldn't do it.
1252
01:23:48,717 --> 01:23:49,917
I couldn't do it. I'm--
1253
01:23:54,727 --> 01:23:56,737
Fuck.
1254
01:23:56,727 --> 01:23:58,327
Please.
1255
01:24:02,337 --> 01:24:05,147
How am I supposed
to trust you?
1256
01:24:05,137 --> 01:24:09,137
Next time, you'll just
get a little drunker and--
1257
01:24:09,137 --> 01:24:11,937
No, I thought
you didn't love me anymore.
1258
01:24:11,947 --> 01:24:14,347
Well, now you've made sure
of that, haven't you?
1259
01:24:18,347 --> 01:24:20,747
You didn't learn a thing
from celibacy.
1260
01:24:20,747 --> 01:24:21,547
You're still fucked up,
1261
01:24:21,557 --> 01:24:24,357
and now you're
fucking me up too.
1262
01:24:25,557 --> 01:24:27,557
I made a mistake.
1263
01:24:27,557 --> 01:24:29,157
I saw Amber. I--
1264
01:24:29,157 --> 01:24:30,357
Even if I was with her,
1265
01:24:30,357 --> 01:24:32,357
wouldn't you just yell at me
or beat me up?
1266
01:24:32,367 --> 01:24:34,767
But no, you just went off
with some bloke.
1267
01:24:49,177 --> 01:24:51,577
I thought you'd changed.
1268
01:25:26,417 --> 01:25:28,017
Laura?
1269
01:25:43,237 --> 01:25:44,837
What the fuck is this?
1270
01:25:44,837 --> 01:25:48,047
Oh, God, Jamie! Oh!
1271
01:25:48,037 --> 01:25:51,237
Oh, sweetie,
I'm so sorry.
1272
01:25:51,237 --> 01:25:54,837
We meant to tell you,
but it just--
1273
01:25:54,847 --> 01:25:57,657
we just started
running together, and--
1274
01:25:57,647 --> 01:25:59,247
You were already with Mick.
1275
01:26:08,857 --> 01:26:14,457
(Grant-Lee Phillips)
♪ Oh, what a colorful lie, ♪
1276
01:26:14,467 --> 01:26:23,277
♪ leading me on
without ever batting an eye. ♪
1277
01:26:23,277 --> 01:26:26,087
♪ ♪
1278
01:26:26,077 --> 01:26:31,677
♪ How many pecks on the cheek ♪
1279
01:26:31,687 --> 01:26:40,097
♪ before I get wind
that I'm on a losing streak? ♪
1280
01:26:40,087 --> 01:26:44,087
♪ Yeah, too many for me. ♪
1281
01:26:44,097 --> 01:26:46,907
♪ ♪
1282
01:26:46,897 --> 01:26:48,897
♪ Too many for me. ♪ ♪
1283
01:26:50,397 --> 01:26:53,997
(Mr. Harris)
Jamie, you've got
to eat something.
1284
01:26:59,207 --> 01:27:02,407
Not gonna let you--
1285
01:27:02,417 --> 01:27:05,227
Don't worry.
1286
01:27:05,217 --> 01:27:08,017
I'm not killing myself.
1287
01:27:08,017 --> 01:27:12,017
That's what your mother said,
and I believed her.
1288
01:27:16,427 --> 01:27:18,027
What?
1289
01:27:18,027 --> 01:27:21,227
I let your mother kill herself.
1290
01:27:21,227 --> 01:27:25,237
You did not.
1291
01:27:25,237 --> 01:27:27,237
I'm the one who went off
with Mary Marks
1292
01:27:27,237 --> 01:27:28,837
and left Mommy alone.
1293
01:27:28,837 --> 01:27:31,237
It is not your fault.
1294
01:27:31,237 --> 01:27:36,847
It's not your fault either,
Daddy.
1295
01:27:51,057 --> 01:27:52,657
Hi, uh,
1296
01:27:52,667 --> 01:27:56,577
I just--I just wanted
to say that, um,
1297
01:27:56,567 --> 01:27:58,967
you know that stuff
that you said about me
1298
01:27:58,967 --> 01:28:01,367
about how I haven't changed?
1299
01:28:06,677 --> 01:28:09,777
I wanted you to know...
1300
01:28:09,777 --> 01:28:13,377
I've been thinking
about it a lot.
1301
01:28:19,387 --> 01:28:22,187
[baby crying]
1302
01:28:25,397 --> 01:28:27,797
[people chatting]
1303
01:28:27,797 --> 01:28:30,997
He's the right one for her,
1304
01:28:30,997 --> 01:28:32,997
and she's the right one for him.
1305
01:28:33,007 --> 01:28:35,007
Oh, Amber, please.
1306
01:28:51,017 --> 01:28:53,317
[glasses clinking]
1307
01:28:53,327 --> 01:28:56,537
Everyone, I think it's time
for a little toast,
1308
01:28:56,527 --> 01:28:58,127
so everyone grab a drink
1309
01:28:58,127 --> 01:29:02,127
and give me your ear
for a minute.
1310
01:29:02,137 --> 01:29:05,347
Well, my father always liked
to make little deals with me.
1311
01:29:05,337 --> 01:29:06,937
In seventh grade, it was,
1312
01:29:06,937 --> 01:29:10,137
"I'll give you $10
if you're home by midnight
1313
01:29:10,137 --> 01:29:12,137
and you don't smell
like cigarettes."
1314
01:29:12,147 --> 01:29:12,947
[laughter]
1315
01:29:12,947 --> 01:29:14,547
Oh, God, this is bad.
1316
01:29:14,547 --> 01:29:18,157
Okay, he made a big deal today,
and he, um, got married.
1317
01:29:18,147 --> 01:29:20,147
Let's do a toast
to the newlyweds.
1318
01:29:20,147 --> 01:29:21,347
[knocking at door]
1319
01:29:21,347 --> 01:29:23,347
Dad.
1320
01:29:23,357 --> 01:29:24,157
Okay.
1321
01:29:27,357 --> 01:29:29,357
I'll give you $100
1322
01:29:29,357 --> 01:29:31,357
if you'll let us
stay in the bedroom.
1323
01:29:31,357 --> 01:29:35,767
[laughter and applause]
1324
01:29:38,167 --> 01:29:39,367
Toast.
1325
01:29:39,367 --> 01:29:40,567
Cheers.
1326
01:29:55,987 --> 01:29:59,287
Oh, ooh, honey.
1327
01:29:59,287 --> 01:30:03,287
Oh, you're hungry.
1328
01:30:03,297 --> 01:30:05,297
How is Mick?
1329
01:30:05,297 --> 01:30:08,507
Uh, well,
1330
01:30:08,497 --> 01:30:10,497
I promised I wouldn't
talk to you about him,
1331
01:30:10,497 --> 01:30:12,897
but since you asked,
I will.
1332
01:30:12,907 --> 01:30:15,307
Uh, well, at least
he's reading your emails,
1333
01:30:15,307 --> 01:30:16,917
and, uh, well, you know,
he's better.
1334
01:30:16,907 --> 01:30:18,907
At least he's not shouting at me
all the time.
1335
01:30:21,707 --> 01:30:23,307
He's fine, really.
1336
01:30:23,317 --> 01:30:24,517
She has his ears.
1337
01:30:24,517 --> 01:30:26,527
You think so?
1338
01:30:26,517 --> 01:30:28,917
(Mick)
No, they're much nicer ears.
1339
01:30:28,917 --> 01:30:32,117
Oh, Daddy.
1340
01:30:32,127 --> 01:30:33,327
Come here.
1341
01:30:33,327 --> 01:30:34,527
(Sandy)
Daddy's here.
1342
01:30:34,527 --> 01:30:35,327
(Mick)
What's wrong?
1343
01:30:35,327 --> 01:30:37,337
What's wrong?
1344
01:30:37,327 --> 01:30:39,327
Did you miss me?
Did you?
1345
01:30:39,327 --> 01:30:42,127
Cutie. You're so cute.
1346
01:30:43,537 --> 01:30:45,547
Yeah, it's a diaper change.
I'll do it.
1347
01:30:45,537 --> 01:30:47,137
I'll do it.
1348
01:30:58,447 --> 01:31:00,847
Two or three years,
she'll be toilet trained.
1349
01:31:05,657 --> 01:31:08,457
Good to see you. Cheers.
1350
01:31:08,457 --> 01:31:09,657
Cheers.
1351
01:31:20,867 --> 01:31:25,677
I love her more
than I ever could have imagined.
1352
01:31:25,677 --> 01:31:28,477
She's taught me so much.
1353
01:31:28,477 --> 01:31:30,477
Yeah, like what?
1354
01:31:30,477 --> 01:31:37,087
Like...
1355
01:31:37,087 --> 01:31:39,087
I shouldn't hold it
against someone
1356
01:31:39,087 --> 01:31:41,087
if she shits on me
once in a while.
1357
01:31:47,097 --> 01:31:50,297
As long as she's sorry.
1358
01:31:50,297 --> 01:31:52,297
I am.
1359
01:31:52,307 --> 01:31:55,107
Me too.
1360
01:31:57,907 --> 01:31:59,907
I got all high and mighty,
1361
01:31:59,907 --> 01:32:02,707
and I couldn't let go of it.
1362
01:32:05,717 --> 01:32:08,517
I want us back.
1363
01:32:08,517 --> 01:32:10,517
I want us.
1364
01:32:10,517 --> 01:32:14,217
Are you sure?
1365
01:32:14,227 --> 01:32:16,637
Oh, um--
1366
01:32:16,627 --> 01:32:17,827
Shut up!
1367
01:32:24,637 --> 01:32:27,447
[baby crying]
1368
01:32:37,447 --> 01:32:41,447
She's very easy, really.
1369
01:32:49,457 --> 01:32:52,657
Captioning by CaptionMax
www.captionmax.com
1370
01:32:52,667 --> 01:32:55,877
[soft guitar music]
1371
01:32:55,867 --> 01:32:59,867
(Grant-Lee Phillips)
♪ Nothing is for sure, no. ♪
1372
01:32:59,867 --> 01:33:07,077
♪ Sleep still in my eyes. ♪
1373
01:33:07,077 --> 01:33:11,077
♪ Fumbling for the door, oh. ♪
1374
01:33:11,077 --> 01:33:18,287
♪ She doesn't like
to face the morning light. ♪
1375
01:33:18,287 --> 01:33:22,287
♪ Nothing is for sure, oh, ♪
1376
01:33:22,297 --> 01:33:29,507
♪ as I begin my day. ♪
1377
01:33:29,497 --> 01:33:32,297
♪ Glasses are a blur ♪
1378
01:33:32,307 --> 01:33:39,117
♪ as my world's about
to spin the other way. ♪
1379
01:33:39,107 --> 01:33:44,707
♪ Spin me the other way. ♪
1380
01:33:44,717 --> 01:33:50,727
♪ I've got to learn
not to say "always." ♪
1381
01:33:50,717 --> 01:33:56,327
♪ Spin me the other way. ♪
1382
01:33:56,327 --> 01:34:04,727
♪ People on the other half
got no worries. ♪
1383
01:34:04,737 --> 01:34:08,747
♪ Nothing is for sure, no. ♪
1384
01:34:08,737 --> 01:34:15,537
♪ Sleep still in my eyes. ♪
1385
01:34:15,547 --> 01:34:19,557
♪ Fumbling for the door, oh. ♪
1386
01:34:19,547 --> 01:34:26,757
♪ She doesn't like
to face the morning light. ♪
1387
01:34:26,757 --> 01:34:30,757
♪ Nothing is for sure, no, ♪
1388
01:34:30,757 --> 01:34:37,967
♪ as I begin my day. ♪
1389
01:34:37,967 --> 01:34:40,767
♪ Glasses are a blur ♪
1390
01:34:40,767 --> 01:34:49,177
♪ as my world's about
to spin the other way. ♪
1391
01:34:49,177 --> 01:34:54,777
♪ Nothing is for sure, oh, ♪
1392
01:34:54,787 --> 01:35:00,397
♪ and nothing is for sure. ♪
1393
01:35:00,387 --> 01:35:05,997
♪ Nothing is for sure, oh, ♪
1394
01:35:05,997 --> 01:35:10,397
♪ and nothing is for sure. ♪
1395
01:35:10,397 --> 01:35:16,007
♪ Spin me the other way. ♪
1396
01:35:16,007 --> 01:35:23,607
♪ I got to learn
not to say "always." ♪ ♪
1397
01:35:27,617 --> 01:35:30,817
[mellow guitar music]
1398
01:35:30,817 --> 01:35:39,627
♪ ♪
1399
01:35:39,627 --> 01:35:42,427
♪ Heavenly, heavenly. ♪
1400
01:35:42,437 --> 01:35:51,247
♪ What other words
could I use to describe ♪
1401
01:35:51,237 --> 01:35:56,847
♪ the heavenly ivory touch
of your hand ♪
1402
01:35:56,847 --> 01:36:03,247
♪ as it covers my eyes? ♪
1403
01:36:03,257 --> 01:36:08,867
♪ Hushing me off to sleep, ♪
1404
01:36:08,857 --> 01:36:14,857
♪ putting my mind at ease. ♪
1405
01:36:14,867 --> 01:36:18,077
♪ Lovingly, lovingly, ♪
1406
01:36:18,067 --> 01:36:26,877
♪ every caress
that you ever gave, ♪
1407
01:36:26,877 --> 01:36:32,077
♪ all of you knowing me
like no one else ♪
1408
01:36:32,077 --> 01:36:38,487
♪ at the end of the day. ♪
1409
01:36:38,487 --> 01:36:44,487
♪ Brushing my fears away, ♪
1410
01:36:44,497 --> 01:36:50,107
♪ knowing just what to say. ♪
1411
01:36:50,097 --> 01:36:56,907
♪ Heavenly, heavenly,
heavenly. ♪ ♪
88811
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