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1
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♪ I might have to get paid for this
Kinda feel like I was made for this
2
00:00:04,200 --> 00:00:05,879
♪ Kitty feel like I was made for it
3
00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:07,519
♪ I might have to say grace to this
4
00:00:07,520 --> 00:00:09,279
♪ Think I'm 'bout to be late
for this
5
00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:11,199
♪ She knows I can't wait for this
6
00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:13,159
♪ Take the pic,
but don't filter this
7
00:00:13,160 --> 00:00:14,799
♪ I might have to say grace to this
8
00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:16,399
♪ I might have to get high for this
9
00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:18,159
♪ Might have to swing by for this
10
00:00:18,160 --> 00:00:20,199
♪ She gonna have me on my righteous
11
00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:22,039
♪ Cut the dairy
out the diet tips... ♪
12
00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:23,679
MAN SPEAKS JAPANESE ON COMPUTER
13
00:00:23,680 --> 00:00:24,920
HE RESPONDS IN JAPANESE
14
00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:30,679
MAN SPEAKS JAPANESE ON COMPUTER
15
00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:31,959
Uh, yeah.
16
00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:33,519
HE CONVERSES IN JAPANESE
17
00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:35,479
♪ Realer than a momentary
intercourse
18
00:00:35,480 --> 00:00:37,319
♪ I was hoping it was you
19
00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:39,279
♪ You might tell me that it's mine
20
00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:41,079
♪ I was hoping
there was something deeper
21
00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:42,840
♪ That would keep me digging
over time
22
00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:46,280
♪ Bitch, I just hit the scene
23
00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:50,199
♪ All white on my body
I'm super clean
24
00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:52,159
♪ Sugar, Daddy
25
00:00:52,160 --> 00:00:53,640
♪ Out here with the sheen... ♪
26
00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:02,440
Fem-a-licious!
27
00:01:04,520 --> 00:01:06,359
Are you running for the Dom?
28
00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:09,319
Look, I know you must hate me,
but I just need you to understand...
29
00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:10,919
Fem-Fems...
30
00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:12,439
Femme le bush!
31
00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:13,959
Hate you?
32
00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:16,719
You're not mad? No, of course not.
33
00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:18,879
Look at you. You're playing
with the big boys now.
34
00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:20,599
St Gilbert's most coveted position.
35
00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:22,319
It's David versus Goliath.
36
00:01:22,320 --> 00:01:23,999
Potter versus Voldemort.
37
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:26,119
Frodo versus Sauron.
38
00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:30,599
You do realise that the small guys
won in each of those scenarios?
39
00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:33,640
I am looking forward to going
head-to-head at the hustings.
40
00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:36,759
But I'll warn you,
41
00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:38,719
I play dirty.
42
00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:40,359
Dirty, how?
43
00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:41,800
You'll see.
44
00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:02,640
PHONE CHIMES
45
00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:16,600
Fuck!
46
00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:19,400
KNOCK AT DOOR
47
00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:24,959
Felix? Yo, what are you doing here?
48
00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:26,599
This ARP isn't going to
complete itself.
49
00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:29,439
Look, I already apologised to you
about the whole dinner thing
50
00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:31,919
with the parents,
but just don't be wasting my time.
51
00:02:31,920 --> 00:02:33,279
Exams start soon.
52
00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:36,079
Spit in my drink,
call me two-two slurs, I don't care.
53
00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:38,039
But just don't play with my work.
I'm serious.
54
00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:39,519
Hey, I'm being... I'm being serious,
OK?
55
00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:41,199
I need this grade as much as you do.
56
00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:42,959
That's not what you said
the last time we spoke.
57
00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:44,239
Do you want my help or not?
58
00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:46,159
I just want the connect
from the British Library.
59
00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:49,240
Well, I can do you one better.
60
00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:53,920
First-hand sources and documents,
courtesy of...
61
00:02:56,560 --> 00:02:57,679
...my godfather.
62
00:02:57,680 --> 00:02:59,239
Shit,
this must have taken you forever.
63
00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:00,599
Yeah.
64
00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:02,599
I don't even think we've got
time to complete this.
65
00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:04,959
With this source material,
plus if we're both pitching in...
66
00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:07,079
PHONE CHIMES
67
00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:08,479
All right.
68
00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,879
No fucking about.
We've got to get this done by today.
69
00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:12,679
Preferably by 6.00. Great, yeah.
70
00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:14,360
I'm going to go shower. Cool.
71
00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:18,799
Meet at the library? Yeah.
72
00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:20,080
Cool.
73
00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:28,280
♪ Mmm, mmm, sweet like honey
74
00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:30,959
♪ I know what that gimme
Gimme!
75
00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:32,959
♪ You want me in your tummy? ♪
76
00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:35,319
No, no, no.
77
00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:36,360
Ah!
78
00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:41,840
Mm-mm-mmm.
79
00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:45,559
MUSIC STOPS
80
00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:47,199
You thirsty.
81
00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:50,839
What if the Dominus Calami was more
than just a popularity contest?
82
00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:53,839
The Dominus Calami is basically just
a popularity contest,
83
00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:56,519
so you'd be pretty cray-cray
to not vote for me-me. Ha!
84
00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:59,759
Chunk of Cheddar for a vote
for Cheddar. Thank you very much.
85
00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:02,839
Oh! Get out my face! Ouch!
86
00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:04,959
Femi for Dom.
87
00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:07,320
Say cheese for Cheddar!
Femi for Dom.
88
00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:10,199
Get Cheddar started.
89
00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:12,319
Make St Gilbert's great again.
90
00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:14,120
Cheddar for life.
91
00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:37,359
Oh, God, yeah, you look like death.
92
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,559
What was I thinking?
I can't win this.
93
00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:41,359
The Dom's a popularity contest.
94
00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:43,479
I hardly think my brother's
top of the food chain.
95
00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:45,199
But he's bribing people
for the vote.
96
00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:47,279
What, with fun-sized dairy snacks?
97
00:04:47,280 --> 00:04:49,559
Look, I think
you've got every chance of winning.
98
00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:50,919
Hi, ladies.
99
00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:52,919
THEY SNIGGER
Don't need that!
100
00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:57,839
Oh, the Dom is the only vaguely
political thing
101
00:04:57,840 --> 00:05:00,599
I can put on my application
to your dad.
102
00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:02,319
PHONE CHIMES
103
00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:04,000
OK, well, I...
104
00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:08,559
What is it? What's wrong?
105
00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:10,399
My family's going to find out
that I've lied.
106
00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:11,999
I've already told them
I've got the internship.
107
00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:14,559
I'm sure they'll understand.
You don't know my family.
108
00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:16,639
Popularity is fickle, Femi. It's...
109
00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:18,879
I know, but it means
everything in this place.
110
00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:21,720
If you have the gift of the gab,
you have the masses.
111
00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:26,999
Femi?
112
00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:29,880
Femi, where are you going?
113
00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:33,319
Ah, Jesus.
114
00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:35,439
Omar! Hey, hey, hey.
115
00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:38,399
Mmm, musky, au naturel. I like it.
116
00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:40,039
Yeah, I've not had a chance
to shower.
117
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:42,159
It's taken me countless hours,
but I finished my final piece.
118
00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:43,839
Oh, my God, no way!
119
00:05:43,840 --> 00:05:46,239
Wait, so the peaches are, like...?
Dead. Gone.
120
00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:48,639
Oh, thank God. I'm so happy for you.
Is this it? Can I see it?
121
00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:49,999
Hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey.
122
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:53,119
It's all about the anticipation,
the drama, the reveal.
123
00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:55,559
Like, I've never been
so consumed by a project.
124
00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:58,959
Like, this piece is a representation
of me or, like, who I am
125
00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:01,679
and that... that... that isn't
arrogant of me, right?
126
00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:05,159
An artist without an ego
is like a bird without wings.
127
00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:06,719
Who said that? Me.
128
00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:08,799
I did. Just now. Mm, yeah.
Just now, yeah.
129
00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:10,679
But I'm just, I'm so proud of you.
Seriously.
130
00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:11,999
Well, don't get too excited.
131
00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:13,919
I was told I need to get
permission from Carol
132
00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:15,759
if I want to switch it out.
OK, well, make sure you do.
133
00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:17,359
The streets are saying
that the top reps
134
00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:20,439
from all the art schools are coming
to our final exhibition.
135
00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:21,919
It's all falling into place.
136
00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:24,920
Oh, my God. We should do, like,
a joint art show over the summer.
137
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:31,759
Imagine, two queer black artists
baring their soul
138
00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:33,199
for unapologetic art.
139
00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:35,320
HER VOICE FADES
140
00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:42,200
PHONE RINGS
141
00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:45,759
Toby, we need to talk.
142
00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:48,159
Uh, not now, Miss K.
Urgent revision.
143
00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:49,839
Hey, it's Abby.
Please leave a message.
144
00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:51,239
It's important.
VOICEMAIL BEEPS
145
00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:53,399
Yo, Abby, it's me again.
146
00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:55,839
Listen, there's really
low availability
147
00:06:55,840 --> 00:06:57,959
on these economy flights,
and can't lie,
148
00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:59,879
I can't afford these
business class flights.
149
00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:03,279
So, uh, call me back. Toby.
What? You're looking fine.
150
00:07:03,280 --> 00:07:04,679
Fine, boy.
151
00:07:04,680 --> 00:07:07,439
What? No pimple.
♪ And I like your dimple simple... ♪
152
00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:09,719
Has anyone told you you're
looking fine today? A few people.
153
00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:11,679
OK, listen...
Move, man, I'm booking flights.
154
00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:13,199
You going somewhere nice?
155
00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:15,959
Femi, what do you want?
OK, so, uh, it turns out
156
00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:19,799
being the Dominus Calami means
I have to get people to like me.
157
00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:23,479
I was thinking, like, "Oh,
who's the most likeable person I..."
158
00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:25,039
OK, let me stop you right there. No.
159
00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:26,559
Just a few hours of your time!
160
00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:28,039
Brudda, I ain't got no few hours.
161
00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:29,799
I've got revision to do. Mm.
162
00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:32,359
I'm working the graveyard shift
tonight with this Japanese job,
163
00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:36,279
and Abby's hiding from me and that.
164
00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:38,599
Move out my way! Look...
165
00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:40,280
Air miles.
166
00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:44,759
What do you mean "air miles"?
167
00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:46,759
Well, if you're going to be
travelling all over Europe,
168
00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:48,039
it's going to be pretty expensive.
169
00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:49,319
OK. So, get to the point.
170
00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:51,119
What are you talking about,
air miles? All right.
171
00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:54,119
London to Lagos,
a family of four, twice a year.
172
00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:56,319
My dad has thousands.
So what are you offering?
173
00:07:56,320 --> 00:08:01,919
If I'm the Dom, I'm pretty sure
my proud dad will slip me a few,
174
00:08:01,920 --> 00:08:04,400
which means I can slip a few to you.
175
00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:10,999
Two hours. I'll help you.
176
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:12,719
Ha! Yeah? Yeah.
177
00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:15,039
Yeah! Oh, my days!
Oh, what you doing?
178
00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:16,919
What are you doing? Put me down!
FEMI LAUGHS
179
00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:18,360
Put me down!
180
00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:28,679
Absolutely not! But, Mistress...
181
00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:32,319
This is not the sort of art
I want associated with St Gilbert's.
182
00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:35,399
OK. Maybe it needs a little
bit of explaining...
183
00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:37,279
Top art schools are coming
to this exhibition,
184
00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:38,959
and it's a big deal for students.
185
00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:41,120
It is not all about you.
186
00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:44,040
Yes, Mistress.
187
00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:05,519
What are those? Um, C-supplements.
188
00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:07,199
They're caffeine tablets.
189
00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:09,479
And, no, there aren't enough
to share.
190
00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:11,199
Why would I want to put
that shit in my body?
191
00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:12,559
How many of these have you had?
192
00:09:12,560 --> 00:09:14,159
How much have you written?
193
00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:16,079
Uh, 761 words.
194
00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:18,119
Really? Mm-hm.
195
00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:19,560
Damn.
196
00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:23,400
Oh.
HIS STOMACH GURGLES
197
00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:26,239
You hungry?
198
00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:28,040
It's all good.
I've got some stuff here.
199
00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:30,960
Want some?
200
00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:34,680
Thanks.
201
00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:44,039
I really am sorry, you know,
for being at your yard,
202
00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:45,399
intruding like that.
203
00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:47,239
You don't need to keep
bringing it up.
204
00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:51,239
I know, but that's the reason
you're doing this project, no?
205
00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:53,600
Cos Hong Kong isn't an option?
206
00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:58,680
I don't know why you'd want
to live with your dad anyway.
207
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,159
He seems like a dickhead.
208
00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:05,439
I'm not apologising for calling him
a dickhead. You know I'm right.
209
00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:06,839
Dads are shit.
210
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,199
HE CHUCKLES
211
00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:09,720
It's a fact of life.
212
00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:13,599
You know, I actually thought
he'd come home to see me,
213
00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:17,040
but it was just about the divorce.
214
00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:20,960
Left before the ink on Mum's
signature was even dry.
215
00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:27,039
So, it's either Cambridge
or staying at home with her.
216
00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:28,679
Can't you get a place?
217
00:10:28,680 --> 00:10:31,039
I'm sure some that divorce money
is yours.
218
00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:33,319
Yeah, my mum's using it
on school equipment.
219
00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:35,719
Anything to prove
she's good at the job.
220
00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:38,359
God knows what I'll have left
in my trust fund.
221
00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:40,720
What a tragedy. Yeah, I know.
222
00:10:42,680 --> 00:10:44,280
Why don't we just get back to work?
223
00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:50,719
After all, you're doing really well.
224
00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:52,319
Yeah?
225
00:10:52,320 --> 00:10:54,080
Yeah.
226
00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:56,640
SCHOOL BELL RINGS
227
00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:03,599
Each candidate has their own thing.
228
00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:05,639
Mabel has cupcakes.
229
00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:07,359
Cheddar's got cheese.
230
00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:09,879
Like, obviously, they've been
working on their campaign for weeks,
231
00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:11,999
and I'm just a little bit behind.
232
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:16,559
So, everything rests on my hustings
speech, which I've been working on.
233
00:11:16,560 --> 00:11:20,599
Yeah. I...I just feel like
it's missing that vim, that, uh...
234
00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:22,119
...that X factor, that...
235
00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:24,079
...Toby-ism. Mm. Right.
236
00:11:24,080 --> 00:11:26,839
Well, I am one of one
and can't be replicated. Mm-hm.
237
00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:28,359
But...
238
00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:29,959
...we'll try.
Let's see what you've got.
239
00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:33,160
So, I figured everybody loves
somebody that's funny.
240
00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:36,920
So, uh, I'm going to start with
a joke.
241
00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:41,360
Knock, knock.
242
00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:49,999
Bro, that's when you're supposed
to say, "Who's there?"
243
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,519
OK. What else have you got?
244
00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:55,759
Well, after everybody laughs
and it breaks the ice,
245
00:11:55,760 --> 00:11:57,359
I go on to say,
246
00:11:57,360 --> 00:12:00,159
"Hello, ladies and gentlemen,
my name is Femi Adebayo.
247
00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:04,279
"I'm here for your vote
to elect me as your Dominus Calami."
248
00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:06,199
Bro, I'm bored.
Bro, because you're not listening.
249
00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:08,839
I'm not listening because I'm bored.
250
00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:10,319
It's about presentation.
251
00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:12,559
For starters, you're there
mumbling into your chest.
252
00:12:12,560 --> 00:12:13,999
Because, bro,
you're making me anxious.
253
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,720
OK, so what's a room full of rowdy
students going to make you feel?
254
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:22,000
Bro, this doesn't come easy to me
like it does for you.
255
00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:25,440
Pick up your top lip.
256
00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:27,919
You're the actor.
257
00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:29,319
OK?
258
00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:33,679
You might not be confident,
but you can, you know, I don't know,
259
00:12:33,680 --> 00:12:35,479
act like you're confident.
260
00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:37,120
How? Stand up.
261
00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:42,279
Chin up.
262
00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:43,719
Chest out.
263
00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:45,679
Deep breath.
264
00:12:45,680 --> 00:12:47,640
Sell it to me.
265
00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:51,559
Hello, ladies and gentlemen.
266
00:12:51,560 --> 00:12:53,479
My name is Femi Adebayo.
267
00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:54,879
Adebayo!
268
00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:56,319
And I'm here to tell you why
269
00:12:56,320 --> 00:13:00,119
I should be elected
as your Dominus Calami.
270
00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:02,119
Better.
Less of the gun fingers, but good.
271
00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:04,159
OK. Again.
HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
272
00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:05,559
♪ Promises, promises, promises
273
00:13:05,560 --> 00:13:07,159
♪ Said you'd do it later
but later never came
274
00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:08,439
♪ I've abolished astonishment
275
00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:09,879
♪ Don't be surprised when you hear
my name
276
00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:11,119
♪ In a room that you hobbled in
277
00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:13,039
♪ I'm made of diamonds,
you're made of cobblestone
278
00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:14,680
♪ I'm in alignment,
you're in a trouble zone... ♪
279
00:13:16,600 --> 00:13:19,199
OK. Not too bad.
OK!
280
00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:21,799
OK. OK!
281
00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:24,359
How's yours getting on?
Yeah. Pretty good.
282
00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:25,719
OK. Can I hear it?
283
00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:27,599
Y-Yeah, sure.
284
00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:30,359
Um, OK.
285
00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:33,199
Colonialism inflicted deep
and lasting harm on colonised
286
00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:34,919
nations, disrupting societies,
287
00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:37,919
economies, and cultures.
Mm-hm.
288
00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:40,199
European powers exploited
indigenous resources,
289
00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:44,159
enriching themselves while
impoverishing local populations.
290
00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:47,519
Sounds familiar. Yeah. Cos I got it
from one of these.
291
00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:48,759
Which one?
292
00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:49,800
I don't know.
293
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:52,120
You haven't cited it?
294
00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:55,639
I thought you only cited quotes.
295
00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:58,519
OK. But it's word for word.
So, it is a quote.
296
00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:00,959
Bloody hell,
it's what I would have said anyway.
297
00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:03,999
OK, so how much of this is
actually yours?
298
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:05,360
Um...
299
00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:08,839
Not on this page.
300
00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:11,359
KEYS CLACK
Not on this page.
301
00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:13,119
This stuff is my own.
302
00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:14,959
Uh, this is mostly AI, so...
303
00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:16,119
AI? Bro!
304
00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:19,599
Yeah. You can't be using AI -
they will find out.
305
00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:22,079
How do you not know this?
306
00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:24,719
Ah!
307
00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:28,519
Have I completely fucked it?
No. No, no, no.
308
00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:31,359
Not at all. It just... I'm not an
idiot - I know you're lying.
309
00:14:31,360 --> 00:14:33,319
I'm not lying.
It just needs some massaging.
310
00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:35,639
You know what? Send it over to me,
um,
311
00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:38,519
and... I'll have a play around
with it.
312
00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:39,560
OK.
313
00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:48,480
SHE BREATHES RAGGEDLY
314
00:14:57,640 --> 00:14:58,680
Sorry, sorry.
315
00:14:59,960 --> 00:15:02,039
Oi! What are you doing?
316
00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:04,679
Wait, whoa! Let's not go round the
houses, Mr Graham,
317
00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:05,959
you're always holding.
318
00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:07,559
I don't know what you're
talking about, sir.
319
00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:09,319
Oh, "I don't know what you're
talking about, sir."
320
00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:11,679
Honestly, sir,
I don't know how that got there.
321
00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:14,479
Right, open your bag.
No, not that bag...
322
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:16,000
Hey, hey!
323
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:19,279
Just what the doctor ordered.
324
00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:20,479
THEY CHUCKLE
325
00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:23,520
Ladies and gentlemen,
my name is Femi Adebayo.
326
00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:38,599
KNOCK ON DOOR
327
00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:39,719
Yeah.
328
00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:42,479
Uh, what you doing?
Uh... nothing. Good.
329
00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:44,799
We have to go and support Femi,
because every vote counts.
330
00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:46,519
So, let's go. W-What, now?
331
00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:48,240
Talking about now? Yes, now.
332
00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,879
Brudda, I can't lie though, spray
some Lynx or something cos it's
333
00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:58,519
smelling a little funky in here.
Yeah, no, I've just been working
334
00:15:58,520 --> 00:16:00,400
and I just didn't have time
to shower.
335
00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:06,000
Yo, Leah. Come here.
336
00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:09,239
What?
Toby said we have to help Femi out.
337
00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:10,959
Yeah,
and it's happening right now, so...
338
00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:12,599
Yeah, I can't, cos I'm busy.
339
00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:13,919
A-Are you OK?
340
00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:17,399
No, because the dead weight that is
Felix has somehow
341
00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:20,399
become even deader.
So, just ditch him.
342
00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:22,679
I can't, we're being
marked on working together.
343
00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:25,839
Plus... I kind of feel bad for him.
344
00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:28,719
Be like kicking a puppy.
345
00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:31,680
A spoilt,
entitled, problematic puppy.
346
00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:34,959
I don't know, I just think he needs
to feel like
347
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:36,719
he's not fucking useless right now.
348
00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:39,279
OK, so let me just get this
straight so we both can understand.
349
00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:42,199
So, you're going to do the lion's
share of the work on a project
350
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:44,119
talking about the ills
of colonialism
351
00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:46,119
so that you can help your privileged
white boy buddy.
352
00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:48,039
Why do you have to say it like that?
353
00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:49,599
Listen, I've got tons of shit to do,
354
00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:51,999
and I even said
I was going to meet Benjamin.
355
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:54,439
Look, I'm sure he'll understand.
Just get...
356
00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:56,679
No, but I was planning to get
dicked down and just...
357
00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:57,999
I beg your pardon? Yo, why so...?
358
00:16:58,000 --> 00:16:59,839
The hustings is just an excuse
to get wasted.
359
00:16:59,840 --> 00:17:02,319
Wish Femi the best from me.
360
00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:04,239
I've got shit to do.
But Leah, look...
361
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:06,959
No buts apart from you two's
getting out of the library.
362
00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:09,119
That's rude. Come...
Thank you, goodbye.
363
00:17:09,120 --> 00:17:11,279
Let's just go.
OK, visual's sorted.
364
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:14,839
What's next? Do you know what?
I think you're good from here.
365
00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:16,079
I've got everything.
366
00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:17,279
Really?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
367
00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:19,079
Um... I thought you said there was
a bunch of stuff to do?
368
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,319
On my part.
369
00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:22,479
You can just leave me with it,
I promise.
370
00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:24,639
OK. Cool.
371
00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:26,320
Great.
372
00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:33,080
Well, I'll see you... later.
373
00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:48,640
SHE EXHALES
374
00:17:57,320 --> 00:17:59,959
Yo, you good?
375
00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:02,759
Right. Settle down, settle down.
APPLAUSE AND SCATTERED CHEERING
376
00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:04,879
Settle down. Up you come.
377
00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:05,920
CHEERING
378
00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:27,079
Now, I know it's tradition to get
a little rowdy, but choosing the
379
00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:30,319
Dominus Calami, well,
it's an opportunity
380
00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:32,119
to take a break from
the, uh, stresses of revision.
381
00:18:32,120 --> 00:18:34,199
However...
Yes!
382
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:35,999
LAUGHTER
See me afterwards, Quentin.
383
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:41,519
However, becoming the Dominus Calami
is a great St Gilbert's tradition.
384
00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:43,999
In fact, it's an incredible honour.
385
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:49,319
You not only get to do the speech at
the graduation ceremony, but you get
386
00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:54,319
to represent the school at future
events as official ambassador.
387
00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:56,879
Miss McDonald.
388
00:18:56,880 --> 00:18:58,720
CHEERING
389
00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:08,959
Down, boys.
390
00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:11,559
And thank you, Jonathan.
391
00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:15,559
Welcome to the hustings
for the 106th selection
392
00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:17,559
of the Dominus Calami!
393
00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:19,160
Whoo!
CHEERING AND WHOOPING
394
00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:23,999
Whoo! The first to receive...
395
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:25,919
Tits!
396
00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:27,999
I've already got some,
but thanks, Quentin.
397
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,479
The first to receive
two thirds of the vote wins.
398
00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:34,319
But first, a few words
from our candidates!
399
00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:36,920
Whoo!
CHEERING
400
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:43,879
My best friend Leah and my
girlfriend Devonye
401
00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:46,519
for checking my privilege.
402
00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:52,879
You took a flawed acorn and turned
her into a fully fledged ally tree.
403
00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:55,800
Boring! Boring!
GRUMBLING
404
00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:59,679
I'm really excited to bring
the entire year group into
405
00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:02,679
the future with diversity and...
THEY PLAY
406
00:20:02,680 --> 00:20:04,239
Are you playing me off?
407
00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:06,479
Well, I did just say a few words.
408
00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:07,520
LAUGHTER
409
00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:13,119
Urgh.
410
00:20:13,120 --> 00:20:17,679
Not to mention, I know how to throw
a ruddy good party.
411
00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:21,199
To vote for any of my competitors -
412
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:24,159
cheese boy, Flemmy, or the ginger -
413
00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:26,880
would be a vote for mediocracy.
414
00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:30,879
But I'll let you decide.
415
00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:32,599
Thank you.
416
00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:33,760
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
417
00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:40,199
Thank you, Chaplin-Jones -
you have my vote.
418
00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:42,719
Up next we have Semi-Femi...
419
00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:45,119
Oh, sorry.
LAUGHTER
420
00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:46,240
Femi Adebayo.
421
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:58,399
Hello, ladies and gentlemen,
my name is Femi Adebayo
422
00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:02,240
and I'm here to tell you exactly why
I should be your Dominus Calami.
423
00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:04,799
Some of you may see this
424
00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:06,279
as a position...
HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
425
00:21:06,280 --> 00:21:08,279
SCATTERED THROAT CLEARING
426
00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:11,439
Uh, as a-a position,
a popularity contest...
427
00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:13,919
THROAT CLEARING BECOMES LOUDER
428
00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:15,839
But what if you selected someone
429
00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:18,319
who could help you lay the
foundations...
430
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:20,359
CACOPHONY OF THROAT CLEARING
431
00:21:20,360 --> 00:21:22,679
Uh, foundations of a legacy
432
00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:25,239
that will be remembered
forever...
433
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:26,600
THEY PLAY
434
00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:32,519
Wow, that was uninspiring.
435
00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:33,879
LAUGHTER
436
00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:38,119
Up next, we have Charles Tramley!
437
00:21:38,120 --> 00:21:39,280
CHEERING AND WHOOPING
438
00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:49,359
Let's get a round of applause
for our very own Semi-Femi, yeah?
439
00:21:49,360 --> 00:21:52,919
APPLAUSE AND WHOOPS
Yeah, yeah.
440
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:56,279
I mean, uh,
bit of a shaky speech there.
441
00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:59,079
He gives the impression of someone
who'd be better as a sub
442
00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:00,759
rather than a Dom.
443
00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:01,839
LAUGHTER
444
00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:03,679
Yeah, I'm joking.
I am joking.
445
00:22:03,680 --> 00:22:05,199
I mean, nice effort.
446
00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:09,399
I mean, that's Femi all over, isn't
it, really? Resilient, resourceful.
447
00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:11,799
I know that better than anyone.
448
00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:14,999
I mean, like the time he forgot
to pack boxers
449
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:18,479
so he just wore dirty ones
inside out for a week.
450
00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:20,479
GASPS AND GROANS
Yeah. No, I know.
451
00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:23,319
Gross. I think it got so bad
that he even asked me
452
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:26,119
if he could borrow mine...
453
00:22:26,120 --> 00:22:28,839
...which is not unusual for Femi.
454
00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:31,639
Before you know it,
he's walking like you,
455
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:34,919
he's talking like you
and he's dressing like you.
456
00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:39,599
If you don't have a personality,
you just take someone else's.
457
00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:43,119
Isn't that right, Semi-Femi?
458
00:22:43,120 --> 00:22:44,720
LAUGHTER AND SCATTERED WHOOPS
459
00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:47,480
APPLAUSE
460
00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:52,239
What else?
461
00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:53,959
Oh, yes.
462
00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:55,640
Vote for me.
463
00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:11,719
So, I think we've got
all the information we need.
464
00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:15,760
And now it's time to vote!
465
00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:20,200
LIVELY CHATTER
466
00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:24,920
Please vote.
467
00:23:35,360 --> 00:23:37,199
Yo, Omar, where you going?
468
00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:38,639
Brudda, where are you going?
469
00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:41,639
Hey, Omar, where are you going? Yo,
listen, I know it's embarrassing.
470
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:43,279
Fuck,
it's embarrassing by association.
471
00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:44,959
But, brudda,
we can't just bail on Femi now.
472
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:46,519
Look, it's me and Jonny.
He wanted to talk to me,
473
00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:48,719
I don't want to talk to him
right now. All right, cool.
474
00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:50,599
At least hand in your vote.
Bro, I-I got to go.
475
00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:52,999
Sorry. Just cast your vote, bro!
476
00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:54,880
Omar, cast your vote, man!
477
00:23:56,360 --> 00:23:59,839
You're a snake! Snake, ain't he?
478
00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:01,759
Mr Staithes.
479
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:03,559
Yeah, Miss.
480
00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:06,319
Oh, this doesn't look like revision.
481
00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:09,399
It's biology. Cos I'm studying
the... the cortisol levels under...
482
00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:10,639
...under high-pressure situations.
483
00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:12,519
So, this is actually, yeah,
it's good for that.
484
00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:14,759
Right, well, I was going to pop
this in your pigeonhole.
485
00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:15,800
Thank you.
486
00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:19,639
Uh, sorry, Miss? Sorry, excuse me.
487
00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:22,960
Are you sure this is...? You might
have handed me the wrong paper here.
488
00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:27,319
No, that's correct.
489
00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:29,079
I've never got a B in my life.
490
00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:30,479
This was a mock exam.
491
00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:32,679
Imagine
if it had been the real thing.
492
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:35,199
I've been warning
about this for weeks
493
00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:37,799
and I've got nothing but arrogance
and cocksure answers,
494
00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:39,719
distracted by this and that.
Sorry, that's not, that's not true.
495
00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:41,719
I've been... I've been focused, Miss.
I've been focused.
496
00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:44,839
PHONE BUZZES
I have been focused. I just...
497
00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:46,439
Toby...
498
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:48,519
...have you
changed your mind about Cambridge?
499
00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:50,079
No. Why you asking that?
500
00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:51,439
Cos unless you pick it up,
501
00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:53,839
you're not going to get the grades
you need to get in.
502
00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:56,919
I suggest you actually go
and revise.
503
00:24:56,920 --> 00:24:58,760
Let this be a wake-up call.
504
00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:17,279
Oh... my God.
505
00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:19,759
Sorry. I was trying to be...
506
00:25:19,760 --> 00:25:21,680
...cool and romantic and shit.
507
00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:25,519
Everything I do seems to
come across as creepy.
508
00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:27,279
Why are you here?
509
00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:29,520
You said six o'clock.
I cancelled.
510
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:34,600
Shit, I...meant to cancel.
511
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:43,039
I'm sorry. Um, I promise the last
thing I wanted to do was spend
512
00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:45,840
all night in a library,
but I have no choice.
513
00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:50,799
I don't think I've ever seen you
without a book in your hand.
514
00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:53,199
Listen, I'm sorry that
I fucked up your evening,
515
00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:55,159
but I actually got work to put in.
516
00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:57,239
Good grades don't just
fall from the sky, you know?
517
00:25:57,240 --> 00:26:00,799
Yeah, I know. I don't think you do,
because if you did you'd understand
518
00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:02,879
the amount of pressure that
I'm under here.
519
00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:07,359
Or, if you weren't
so self-absorbed and listened,
520
00:26:07,360 --> 00:26:09,319
you'd know
I was up at 5am today just
521
00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:11,279
so I can get
the night off to see you.
522
00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:13,399
I need three As to get to
Bristol Uni,
523
00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:15,679
but that doesn't give me
an excuse to be shitty...
524
00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:17,079
SHE SCOFFS
...and judge everyone around me
525
00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:18,960
if they're not up to my standards.
You can leave now.
526
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:23,320
Yeah, I'm gone. Cool.
527
00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:28,960
DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES
528
00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:42,120
LAUGHTER
529
00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:49,240
Are you from Severstone? Get him.
530
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:08,040
ONE BELLOWS
531
00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:12,160
Whoa!
532
00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:17,679
All right, clear. Thanks.
Bro, what are you doing here?
533
00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:19,199
Don't let their floppy heads
fool you, you know.
534
00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:21,199
They can mess you up.
I was visiting Leah.
535
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:24,200
Well... until she kicked me out.
536
00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:28,479
Why did she kick you out?
I should go. You sure?
537
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:31,319
But you probably want to wait
until the coast is clear, you know,
538
00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:32,440
just in case.
539
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:41,920
Um, do you want a drink?
I brought them for Leah.
540
00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:47,760
Yeah. Yeah, sure. Why not?
541
00:27:49,880 --> 00:27:53,119
The votes have been verified.
542
00:27:53,120 --> 00:27:55,399
Ooh!
543
00:27:55,400 --> 00:28:00,279
And I can confirm
the candidate in last place is...
544
00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:01,840
Sorry.
545
00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:05,239
...Miss Chaplin-Jones.
546
00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:06,680
GASPS AND CHATTER
547
00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:14,159
Are you fucking serious?
548
00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:15,599
Don't shoot the messenger, babe.
549
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:18,239
You will rue this day! Move.
550
00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:22,239
Useless, useless, and you know what,
Annabel? You were adopted.
551
00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:24,120
UPROAR
Move! Move!
552
00:28:25,320 --> 00:28:27,479
This is an unprecedented vote.
553
00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:32,119
No candidate has yet reached
the required threshold to win.
554
00:28:32,120 --> 00:28:34,999
As a result,
after a brief intermission,
555
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:39,559
we will hear from our candidates
one last time, and then vote again.
556
00:28:39,560 --> 00:28:42,079
Oh, fuck my life.
557
00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:43,680
Yes! Yes!
558
00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:48,879
Femi! Dom-Dom.
Well done, you made it through.
559
00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:51,599
Good effort. It looks like your
smear campaign didn't work.
560
00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:55,039
Oh, that was nothing.
That was just the mere tip.
561
00:28:55,040 --> 00:28:59,439
The next round,
we're going in the entire...
562
00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:01,439
...shaft and balls.
563
00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:02,799
Mm!
564
00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:04,360
Shaft and balls.
Yeah.
565
00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:32,559
Man like Toby!
Yo, bro, what you telling me?
566
00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:34,359
I thought you man were starting to
forget me.
567
00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:36,239
Busy, bro. Busy.
568
00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:37,919
How's it all going, though?
569
00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:40,759
Well, I did a mock exam.
570
00:29:40,760 --> 00:29:42,399
I got a B.
HE CHUCKLES
571
00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:44,199
Oh, so you think that's funny?
572
00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:46,599
No, no, no.
I'm just... I'm surprised.
573
00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:48,559
I don't associate you with Bs, innit?
574
00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:50,239
It's more of Femi's ting.
575
00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:53,199
I was choosing not to go to
Cambridge this year.
576
00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:55,239
Me. I had that choice.
577
00:29:55,240 --> 00:29:58,399
So I could go travelling with
Abby or whatever.
578
00:29:58,400 --> 00:30:01,519
And now it's looking like I ain't
even got the option.
579
00:30:01,520 --> 00:30:04,279
Well, it's a mock.
Like, you can bounce back.
580
00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:08,119
J, even if I can scrape it back
I've already told Abby
581
00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:10,519
I'm paying for the flights
and all of that shit.
582
00:30:10,520 --> 00:30:13,159
But, bro, she is currently
ghosting me right now,
583
00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:15,359
so I don't even know
what's going on.
584
00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:17,039
Fuck me, man.
585
00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:20,399
What if I've done all this just
so I can lose Cambridge AND Abby?
586
00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:22,919
Come on, man.
It's Cambridge.
587
00:30:22,920 --> 00:30:24,599
Big, big Cambridge, bro.
588
00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:27,719
If she don't understand then I don't
know, man. She will, though.
589
00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:29,879
You reckon?
Yeah.
590
00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:34,239
And look, man, it's a big leap,
but you have to face it.
591
00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:35,799
Even me coming here,
592
00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:39,359
bro, I'm still feeling out of place
and out of sorts.
593
00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:42,039
But I'm glad I did it.
594
00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:45,240
Bro, if I didn't, I'd be kicking
myself for life, that's for sure.
595
00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:50,639
Yo, people are moving, innit, so,
let me, let me bell you back, yeah?
596
00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:53,360
All right. All right.
Be safe. In a bit.
597
00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:03,360
So, this is it.
598
00:31:05,200 --> 00:31:07,079
No!
Nah, you said you wouldn't laugh.
599
00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:08,199
I-I'm not laughing.
It's shock, bro.
600
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:09,799
Shock?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, in a good way.
601
00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:13,839
All right. Different emotions
and sides in all of us fighting
602
00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:15,959
and harmonising simultaneously.
603
00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:17,159
Thanks.
604
00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:18,599
I'm sure the coast is clear.
605
00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:21,120
You can go now.
I'm in no rush, bro.
606
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:25,919
You know, it would've been cheaper
to buy her one big bottle.
607
00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:27,799
I mean,
my sister works in promotion.
608
00:31:27,800 --> 00:31:29,599
She said she had
a shitload left over.
609
00:31:29,600 --> 00:31:32,519
Treating Leah to leftover
promotional bottles of Prosecco.
610
00:31:32,520 --> 00:31:35,440
Hmm. And they say romance is dead.
611
00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:39,199
So, what's going on with you
and Leah?
612
00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:42,279
We're just different people,
different priorities,
613
00:31:42,280 --> 00:31:43,679
if that makes sense.
614
00:31:43,680 --> 00:31:45,800
Yeah, makes a lot of sense.
615
00:31:47,680 --> 00:31:50,839
There's this guy I'm seeing,
and he's great.
616
00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:53,919
Really lovely in fact, and...
And...?
617
00:31:53,920 --> 00:31:55,719
He's got me jumping behind pillars.
618
00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:57,759
What? In a good way?
619
00:31:57,760 --> 00:31:59,320
I keep hiding from him.
620
00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:03,559
I think I like him
because he's safe.
621
00:32:03,560 --> 00:32:05,559
And I thought that's good for me
because, you know,
622
00:32:05,560 --> 00:32:07,119
safe is my happy place.
I love safe.
623
00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:08,879
What makes you think you're safe?
624
00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:10,439
I'm not exactly chaotic, am I?
625
00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:11,760
Your art is.
626
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:15,079
I'm not fooled by the buttoned-up
look.
627
00:32:15,080 --> 00:32:17,559
OMAR GROANS
I think you're attracted
628
00:32:17,560 --> 00:32:19,279
to messiness.
629
00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:21,919
Yeah, no, that's enough
Prosecco for you.
630
00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:24,119
Wait, nah...
I think it's you.
631
00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:27,479
Oh? I don't think you should be
hiding it under a blanket,
632
00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:30,840
or jumping behind pillars
to avoid what you really want.
633
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:37,640
Mmm... Mmm? Mmm. Mmm, mmm!
634
00:32:40,760 --> 00:32:43,239
Thank you, man.
Of course.
635
00:32:43,240 --> 00:32:45,439
You're wise. I watch a lot of
Married at First Sight
636
00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:47,359
with my grandma.
637
00:32:47,360 --> 00:32:48,759
You're on that? Yeah, bro.
638
00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:50,999
I don't get how anybody
watches that.
639
00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:53,439
What? Everyone watches that.
640
00:32:53,440 --> 00:32:54,719
See you later, man.
641
00:32:54,720 --> 00:32:56,880
DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES
642
00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:06,559
Oh, hi.
643
00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:08,040
Leah.
644
00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:12,119
Not even an apology?
645
00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:14,119
Apology for...?
646
00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:16,319
For standing me up the other night.
647
00:33:16,320 --> 00:33:20,479
I'm sorry, Xiang. I thought
it was just a whole study thing.
648
00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:22,079
But it was for a good reason.
I promise.
649
00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:23,679
Well, I thought
it was a good reason,
650
00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:25,559
but then it turns out that
he is a dickhead.
651
00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:27,400
You... You met up with someone else?
652
00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:31,160
Xiang, am I missing something?
Really, Leah?
653
00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:39,519
SHE SIGHS
654
00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:41,079
That is just blatant nepotism.
655
00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:43,319
Your sense of entitlement is
astounding.
656
00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:44,959
Just because your dad was a Dom
657
00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:47,599
doesn't make you
the best person for the job.
658
00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:50,279
And anyway, it's about time
this role went to a woman.
659
00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:51,320
WHOOPING
660
00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:56,239
Sorry. Sorry. Are you even from
here?
661
00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:58,519
Xenophobic. Oh, that's
not even a word.
662
00:33:58,520 --> 00:34:00,039
Yes, it is. And you're an idiot.
663
00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:05,679
Thank you very much. Objection and
overruled, but sustained. Tramley.
664
00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:07,959
Like, like,
it doesn't even make any sense.
665
00:34:07,960 --> 00:34:10,559
Like, because the Dom has like,
like, like n-never...
666
00:34:10,560 --> 00:34:13,279
..been a woman,
so that would make it fair.
667
00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:15,519
Oh, bless you.
Pathetic.
668
00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:18,319
And this one - look at him -
as the Dom? Ugh.
669
00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:21,919
Stiff, wooden, lifeless.
670
00:34:21,920 --> 00:34:24,159
And those were
just his King Lear reviews.
671
00:34:24,160 --> 00:34:25,759
Is that all you've got? Insults?
672
00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:28,039
Shut up, mate.
Haven't you got a bed to piss in?
673
00:34:28,040 --> 00:34:29,399
Which is a true story, by the way.
674
00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:31,680
CHATTER
Yeah. Thank you very much.
675
00:34:34,960 --> 00:34:38,679
Order, order! Adebayo.
676
00:34:38,680 --> 00:34:42,879
Yeah, I wore the same pants
for a week.
677
00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:44,159
SCATTERED LAUGHTER
678
00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:48,839
Yeah, I got pissed and pissed my bed
and hid my sheets.
679
00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:50,279
SCATTERED LAUGHTER
680
00:34:50,280 --> 00:34:52,719
Let's see -
what else do you know about me?
681
00:34:52,720 --> 00:34:56,320
Sometimes I suck my thumb
when I'm sleeping.
682
00:34:58,640 --> 00:35:00,560
I piss sitting down.
683
00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:05,639
You'll probably tell them that...
684
00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:06,999
...I'm a virgin.
685
00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:08,520
CHEERING
686
00:35:11,440 --> 00:35:15,919
So, beyond the put-downs,
you've got nothing.
687
00:35:15,920 --> 00:35:17,359
HE CHUCKLES
688
00:35:17,360 --> 00:35:19,999
Just like you will have nothing to
offer being the Dom
689
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:22,239
because it doesn't mean
anything to you.
690
00:35:22,240 --> 00:35:26,439
Just like, I'm guessing, it doesn't
mean anything to most of you.
691
00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:28,280
CHEERING AND WHOOPING
692
00:35:31,280 --> 00:35:34,919
Well, it means something to me.
693
00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:37,919
I want to do our year justice.
694
00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:42,279
I want our future years to look
back at our year as the best year -
695
00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:44,839
full of absolute legends!
696
00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:45,880
CHEERING
697
00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:53,839
So, instead of voting for
Mr I Don't Really Give A Shit,
698
00:35:53,840 --> 00:35:56,519
vote for someone who does.
699
00:35:56,520 --> 00:35:58,560
CHEERING
700
00:36:03,720 --> 00:36:06,000
Femi! Femi! Femi!
701
00:36:10,520 --> 00:36:12,160
APPLAUSE
702
00:36:14,040 --> 00:36:15,800
Any final words?
703
00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:28,119
Vote for me and I'll get all of you
twats into Glastonbury!
704
00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:30,639
Yes! That's right!
705
00:36:30,640 --> 00:36:32,639
Tent orgies.
706
00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:35,560
Unlimited wet wipes for everyone!
707
00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:46,840
CHEERING AND SHOUTING
708
00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:05,839
Hi, uh...
709
00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:10,239
Hi, Abby. Um, you know,
I'm not sure.
710
00:37:10,240 --> 00:37:12,639
I'm not sure
if we're still together.
711
00:37:12,640 --> 00:37:15,039
I hope we are.
712
00:37:15,040 --> 00:37:16,559
I just want to talk to you.
713
00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:18,199
Uh, I need to talk to you.
714
00:37:18,200 --> 00:37:19,959
It's about the travelling.
715
00:37:19,960 --> 00:37:21,439
Uh, I'm not sure where your
716
00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:23,760
head is at with any of it, but...
DOOR OPENS
717
00:37:27,080 --> 00:37:29,039
Uh, what are you doing here?
718
00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:30,559
Is now a bad time?
719
00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:32,080
No.
720
00:37:34,280 --> 00:37:36,000
It's just, uh...
721
00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:40,439
...you have kind of like...
722
00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:43,479
...left me on read for the past,
like, three days.
723
00:37:43,480 --> 00:37:44,879
Yeah, I know. I'm sorry.
724
00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:47,840
Well, I was about to send
you a message... Me first.
725
00:37:49,880 --> 00:37:52,319
Your mum said that you were getting
cold feet about Cambridge,
726
00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:54,879
and that you weren't going because
of me. And so I thought I could
727
00:37:54,880 --> 00:37:57,199
stay away from you.
And I tried, but I couldn't.
728
00:37:57,200 --> 00:38:00,200
I can't. So, I think
that's because I love you.
729
00:38:05,280 --> 00:38:08,720
Y-You don't need to
say it back or anything.
730
00:38:14,640 --> 00:38:15,680
SHE EXHALES
731
00:38:19,640 --> 00:38:21,399
But, I mean, you could say
something.
732
00:38:21,400 --> 00:38:23,599
Yeah. No. Shit.
733
00:38:23,600 --> 00:38:25,120
Um...
734
00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:30,200
...I love you too.
735
00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:41,480
I proper love you.
736
00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:45,440
I love you.
737
00:38:55,120 --> 00:38:56,520
But Cambridge.
738
00:38:58,480 --> 00:39:02,480
I don't know about you, but I don't
know if I can do long-distance.
739
00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:08,520
Me neither.
740
00:39:28,080 --> 00:39:31,960
Are we all in agreement? Hmm?
741
00:39:36,680 --> 00:39:39,280
The votes have been verified.
742
00:39:45,080 --> 00:39:49,240
And I can confirm that the candidate
in third place is...
743
00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:52,399
...Johnson.
744
00:39:52,400 --> 00:39:53,519
What?
745
00:39:53,520 --> 00:39:55,519
No, no, no, honey, it's OK.
It'll be fine.
746
00:39:55,520 --> 00:39:57,919
Remember, my illustrious spectators,
747
00:39:57,920 --> 00:40:01,639
there can only be one winner.
I worked so hard.
748
00:40:01,640 --> 00:40:05,080
Which means the candidate
in second place is...
749
00:40:10,160 --> 00:40:11,999
...Tramley.
750
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:13,839
GASPS AND CHATTER
751
00:40:13,840 --> 00:40:16,919
Meaning our new Dominus Calami
752
00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:18,640
is Femi Adebayo.
753
00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:22,440
What?
754
00:40:23,600 --> 00:40:26,959
Congratulations, Semi-Femi.
755
00:40:26,960 --> 00:40:28,719
Woo!
756
00:40:28,720 --> 00:40:30,160
SCATTERED CHEERING
757
00:40:31,440 --> 00:40:33,120
Well, come on up, dickhead.
758
00:40:50,920 --> 00:40:53,239
How did you do it?
759
00:40:53,240 --> 00:40:54,959
You were there.
760
00:40:54,960 --> 00:40:57,119
Confidence, character and charisma.
761
00:40:57,120 --> 00:41:00,959
Come on. No way they chose you over
Glasto tickets.
762
00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:03,319
They saw through your lie.
I wasn't lying.
763
00:41:03,320 --> 00:41:06,239
I have connects and everyone
in that room knows that -
764
00:41:06,240 --> 00:41:09,359
that's why something
isn't adding up here.
765
00:41:09,360 --> 00:41:10,959
I smell a rat.
766
00:41:10,960 --> 00:41:14,199
Well, I know it's hard to accept,
but David beat Goliath.
767
00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:15,240
HE CHUCKLES
768
00:41:17,320 --> 00:41:19,799
Oh, you know that something
isn't adding up here, Fem-Fems,
769
00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:22,119
and I will find the truth!
770
00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:23,320
You trust me!
771
00:41:30,640 --> 00:41:31,959
Hey.
772
00:41:31,960 --> 00:41:33,999
Hear my man about "hey" -
is this not you?
773
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:36,559
"Meet me in my room 10pm,
life or death?"
774
00:41:36,560 --> 00:41:37,959
It is.
775
00:41:37,960 --> 00:41:40,999
So, are you going to tell us,
or are you just going to...?
776
00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:43,559
Yeah, no, I need help
breaking into the exhibition hall.
777
00:41:43,560 --> 00:41:45,879
It's where everyone's
showing their final pieces.
778
00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:47,319
Why?
779
00:41:47,320 --> 00:41:48,560
This.
780
00:41:53,920 --> 00:41:55,919
Everyone's showing
their A-level pieces
781
00:41:55,920 --> 00:41:58,999
and what I've got in the exhibition
is just not good enough.
782
00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:01,759
It gives a... I don't, uh...
783
00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:03,039
Leah?
784
00:42:03,040 --> 00:42:04,320
What is, what is it?
785
00:42:05,600 --> 00:42:08,679
It's me.
Not so much showing who I am
786
00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:11,479
but rather revealing
how I experience me.
787
00:42:11,480 --> 00:42:13,279
So, yeah.
788
00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:14,639
What do you think?
789
00:42:14,640 --> 00:42:17,999
It's giving me motion sickness.
And we're not even moving.
790
00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:20,439
Look, guys, Carol said
I couldn't show it but fuck that.
791
00:42:20,440 --> 00:42:23,119
I'm going to break in and make sure
this is what the art school reps
792
00:42:23,120 --> 00:42:24,319
will see, but I can't do it alone.
793
00:42:24,320 --> 00:42:25,879
You guys need to help.
So, we've got to do it now.
794
00:42:25,880 --> 00:42:29,879
I don't usually agree with Carol,
but...
795
00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:31,279
...I agree with Carol.
796
00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:32,679
LAUGHTER
797
00:42:32,680 --> 00:42:36,119
Omar, you took me
out of my studying for this?
798
00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:38,919
You're lying. I-I thought you guys
would come and help me out.
799
00:42:38,920 --> 00:42:40,319
This is us helping you.
800
00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:43,479
Brudda, don't let anyone ever see
this in your entire lifespan.
801
00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:45,959
You know what? What do you know?
802
00:42:45,960 --> 00:42:48,159
You sabotaged your entire
A-levels for a girl that you can't
803
00:42:48,160 --> 00:42:50,559
admit you've got feelings for.
He got you there.
804
00:42:50,560 --> 00:42:53,239
You, yeah, you crash and burn
every relationship you're in.
805
00:42:53,240 --> 00:42:55,599
Yo, take the bass out of your voice.
And then you, Femi -
806
00:42:55,600 --> 00:42:58,199
you can't get no girl because
you don't change your underpants.
807
00:42:58,200 --> 00:43:00,959
Whoa! What are you trying to say?
I can explain that.
808
00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:04,199
He just ragged us. You know what,
guys, guys? Can you guys please go?
809
00:43:04,200 --> 00:43:05,759
Omar, listen - our bad...
810
00:43:05,760 --> 00:43:07,480
Yeah, please, in fact, get out.
811
00:43:08,720 --> 00:43:10,480
Cool. Van Gogh.
812
00:43:11,520 --> 00:43:12,800
Huh.
813
00:43:20,920 --> 00:43:23,200
Sweet Danger
by Obongjayar
814
00:44:12,640 --> 00:44:13,959
ALARM BEEPS
815
00:44:13,960 --> 00:44:15,279
BELL RINGS
816
00:44:15,280 --> 00:44:16,679
Oh, shit!
817
00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:18,359
Oh! Shit, shit, shit!
818
00:44:18,360 --> 00:44:20,440
Oh, oh! Ah!
819
00:44:22,880 --> 00:44:25,360
CACOPHONY OF ALARMS
60832
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