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Zulu

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.BZ 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.BZ 3 00:02:03,208 --> 00:02:05,380 We need to call it, right? 4 00:02:07,545 --> 00:02:08,717 I think so too. 5 00:02:24,077 --> 00:02:25,652 - Hey. Hey, hey. - What? 6 00:02:28,452 --> 00:02:29,219 Hey. 7 00:02:30,162 --> 00:02:31,396 They're sleeping. 8 00:02:31,498 --> 00:02:33,434 I know. Do you think that-- 9 00:02:33,537 --> 00:02:34,907 Should I pack a bag and check into a hotel? 10 00:02:35,009 --> 00:02:36,173 No, no. That's dramatic. What? 11 00:02:36,275 --> 00:02:38,110 No, I know, just with the... 12 00:02:38,212 --> 00:02:39,479 - Or I could-- - What? 13 00:02:39,582 --> 00:02:40,976 I could make up a bed down on the couch too, 14 00:02:41,078 --> 00:02:42,846 - if that's gonna be... - No, no, no. 15 00:02:42,949 --> 00:02:43,889 - Really? - That's not necessary. 16 00:02:43,991 --> 00:02:45,157 Let's just... 17 00:02:45,259 --> 00:02:46,857 - Okay, what-- - Oh... 18 00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:48,864 - Hey, buddy, - TESS: Hey. Hey, buddy. 19 00:02:48,966 --> 00:02:51,136 - What are you doing up? - Are you guys fighting? 20 00:02:51,471 --> 00:02:52,974 - No. - No. No, no, no. 21 00:02:53,711 --> 00:02:55,375 No, actually, we're not-- we're not fighting at all. 22 00:02:55,477 --> 00:02:57,045 We never fight. 23 00:02:57,480 --> 00:02:58,448 That's true. 24 00:02:58,550 --> 00:03:00,350 Go back to bed, baby, okay? 25 00:03:00,887 --> 00:03:03,529 Come here, Charlie. Come on. Outside. 26 00:03:07,601 --> 00:03:10,008 Come on, Charlie. Charlie, come. 27 00:03:10,544 --> 00:03:11,639 Come on, Charlie, let's go. 28 00:03:29,248 --> 00:03:30,782 - Our last hurrah. - What? 29 00:03:32,389 --> 00:03:33,954 - You know, just with the-- - Yeah, yeah. 30 00:03:34,925 --> 00:03:36,427 The other day, we were watching this, like, 31 00:03:36,529 --> 00:03:37,792 just one of those doomsday docs, right? 32 00:03:37,894 --> 00:03:39,093 You know, meteors, the Earth, wars, 33 00:03:39,196 --> 00:03:40,093 - everything, all that stuff. - Uh-huh. 34 00:03:40,195 --> 00:03:41,105 And so, you know, he had 35 00:03:41,207 --> 00:03:42,473 the weirdest look on his face. 36 00:03:42,575 --> 00:03:43,736 And at the end of the doc, I looked at him, 37 00:03:43,838 --> 00:03:45,372 and I said, you know, 38 00:03:45,474 --> 00:03:47,913 "How do you feel about that? Does that bother you? Does it--" 39 00:03:48,015 --> 00:03:49,751 You know, fully expecting him to be like, 40 00:03:49,853 --> 00:03:51,453 "Hey, what-- What do we do about this?" 41 00:03:51,555 --> 00:03:52,957 Nothing. 42 00:03:53,059 --> 00:03:55,065 He's perfectly fine with the world coming to an end. 43 00:03:55,167 --> 00:03:56,800 He literally said, 44 00:03:56,902 --> 00:03:58,700 "Well, you know, I've had a good life up until now. 45 00:03:58,803 --> 00:04:00,109 What's there to be sad about?" 46 00:04:00,211 --> 00:04:03,283 Jalen, my 17-year-old boy. 47 00:04:03,385 --> 00:04:04,616 First of all, he's brilliant, right? 48 00:04:04,719 --> 00:04:07,019 He excels at everything he puts his mind to. 49 00:04:07,121 --> 00:04:09,285 But I just thought, "What kind of mindset is that?" 50 00:04:09,387 --> 00:04:12,897 My body does not say it, but I still feel... 51 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:15,735 like I'm 24 years old, at best. 52 00:04:15,838 --> 00:04:17,508 Thank you, babe. Shut up, Stephen. 53 00:04:17,610 --> 00:04:18,676 But, you know, seriously, though. 54 00:04:18,779 --> 00:04:20,282 I'm not ready for shit to end, right? 55 00:04:20,385 --> 00:04:22,180 - Are you? No? - No. 56 00:04:22,382 --> 00:04:25,086 Well, because he lives in a world with the likelihood 57 00:04:25,189 --> 00:04:26,687 that we may blow ourselves up at any moment. 58 00:04:26,790 --> 00:04:27,826 What? 59 00:04:27,928 --> 00:04:28,994 But that's nothing new. 60 00:04:29,096 --> 00:04:29,927 We all grew up during the Cold War. 61 00:04:30,029 --> 00:04:31,296 Guys, it isn't that. 62 00:04:31,399 --> 00:04:32,340 Yeah, but remember, we were scared. 63 00:04:32,442 --> 00:04:33,538 It's not that. He's alive. 64 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:35,679 You know? He just goes. 65 00:04:35,782 --> 00:04:39,048 He goes for it every day. He crushes it every day. 66 00:04:39,151 --> 00:04:40,148 - That's true. - Mm. Yeah. 67 00:04:40,250 --> 00:04:41,850 And he's in joy because of it. 68 00:04:41,952 --> 00:04:43,228 How 'bout joy? 69 00:04:43,330 --> 00:04:45,491 I mean, it's beautiful. 70 00:04:45,593 --> 00:04:48,063 Not giving a fuck about trying to be like other people 71 00:04:48,165 --> 00:04:49,741 or trying to be a grown-up. 72 00:04:50,011 --> 00:04:52,073 Uh! Fuck! 73 00:04:52,175 --> 00:04:53,249 Wait, are you talking about me? 74 00:04:53,351 --> 00:04:54,813 No, somebody alive! 75 00:04:54,915 --> 00:04:56,148 - Shit. - Jesus. 76 00:04:56,250 --> 00:04:57,755 - I was joking! - Also dead. 77 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:01,425 Just joking. 78 00:05:01,928 --> 00:05:03,897 You are so alive, darling. 79 00:05:04,300 --> 00:05:05,169 - Hey, I found it! - "Darling"? 80 00:05:05,271 --> 00:05:06,508 Yes. 81 00:05:06,610 --> 00:05:08,404 - Oh, shit! - Oh, my God! 82 00:05:08,506 --> 00:05:10,009 - Oh, my gosh. - Are you all right? 83 00:05:10,111 --> 00:05:11,011 You all right? 84 00:05:11,113 --> 00:05:13,151 Oh, my God. Are you okay? 85 00:05:13,253 --> 00:05:15,723 - Oh, the rug. I'm sorry-- - Fuck. What the absolute fuck? 86 00:05:15,826 --> 00:05:17,022 - Balls! - I'm sorry! 87 00:05:17,125 --> 00:05:18,800 I'll go. No, no, no, it's okay. 88 00:05:18,903 --> 00:05:20,768 - No, no! There's milk in it! - I'll get more. I'll get more. 89 00:05:20,871 --> 00:05:22,397 - Balls. No. - It's right around the corner. 90 00:05:22,499 --> 00:05:23,609 - She doesn't need it. - Stay, it's fine. 91 00:05:23,711 --> 00:05:24,771 - It's like every week. - I'm sorry. Sorry. 92 00:05:24,874 --> 00:05:26,175 God. 93 00:05:26,278 --> 00:05:27,350 Don't cry over spilled oat milk, okay? 94 00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:28,946 Yeah, this is fine for you. 95 00:05:29,048 --> 00:05:30,690 - Jesus. - Oh, my God. 96 00:05:30,792 --> 00:05:32,859 - It's literally everyday. - Balls, it's perfect. 97 00:05:32,962 --> 00:05:34,491 - Thank you. - You all right? 98 00:05:34,593 --> 00:05:37,836 Uh, yeah. I'm a little... I'm just, like, a little nervous. 99 00:05:37,939 --> 00:05:39,170 - Yeah, you seem it. - 'Cause, uh... 100 00:05:40,169 --> 00:05:41,812 one of the guys is, uh... 101 00:05:43,652 --> 00:05:44,846 not gonna be there next Saturday matinee, 102 00:05:44,948 --> 00:05:46,715 so if you wanna come... 103 00:05:47,319 --> 00:05:49,793 Oh, wow. Shit. Do you know all his lines? 104 00:05:49,897 --> 00:05:51,900 His lines? Yeah, I know all the disciples' lines. 105 00:05:52,336 --> 00:05:54,101 - Of Christ? - Yeah. 106 00:05:54,203 --> 00:05:56,269 I'm just so grateful I can grow such a hefty beard. 107 00:05:56,371 --> 00:05:57,845 You know what I mean? Do I look like a disciple? 108 00:05:57,948 --> 00:05:59,147 - Babe, what? What? - Am I doing it wrong? I'm sorry. 109 00:05:59,249 --> 00:06:00,607 No? I'm sorry. 110 00:06:00,709 --> 00:06:02,379 - Oh, my God. - This always happens. 111 00:06:02,481 --> 00:06:04,150 Half of me is always living in the play. 112 00:06:04,252 --> 00:06:05,318 - Jesus. - Yeah. 113 00:06:05,420 --> 00:06:06,526 It's the burden of my beautiful wife. 114 00:06:06,628 --> 00:06:07,927 Oh, God. 115 00:06:08,029 --> 00:06:09,492 You got it, St. Paul. 116 00:06:09,761 --> 00:06:12,968 Mm. Living with an artist, guys. Living with an artist. 117 00:06:13,070 --> 00:06:14,576 By the way, Oyster Bay? 118 00:06:14,679 --> 00:06:15,811 - Yeah? - We call the primary. 119 00:06:15,914 --> 00:06:16,876 Wait, you can't call it this far out. 120 00:06:16,979 --> 00:06:17,880 Yes, we just did actually. 121 00:06:17,983 --> 00:06:19,049 Why not? Let them. 122 00:06:19,151 --> 00:06:20,382 What do you mean? It's not forever. 123 00:06:20,485 --> 00:06:22,257 Let them. Babe, they're literally newlyweds. 124 00:06:22,359 --> 00:06:24,190 Plus, y'all two always take the love shack attic anyway. 125 00:06:24,292 --> 00:06:25,533 It's actually perfect. I love it. 126 00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:26,997 - Hey, you wanna know why? - Yeah. 127 00:06:27,099 --> 00:06:28,833 Because we made Jalen there. 128 00:06:29,137 --> 00:06:30,233 We're not making any more babies. 129 00:06:30,335 --> 00:06:31,569 - Yeah. - No. 130 00:06:31,671 --> 00:06:33,047 Well, you never know-- Oh no, that's true. 131 00:06:33,149 --> 00:06:34,043 You didn't even make your first two that way, right? 132 00:06:34,145 --> 00:06:35,312 Okay, wow. 133 00:06:35,414 --> 00:06:36,879 - Dude. - That's enough. 134 00:06:36,982 --> 00:06:38,288 - No, please. Babe, stop, stop. - All right. It's okay. 135 00:06:38,390 --> 00:06:39,393 - No, but you have to have sex. - Please stop talking. 136 00:06:39,495 --> 00:06:40,453 Okay. Sorry, sorry. 137 00:06:40,555 --> 00:06:41,860 We have sex, we just didn't-- 138 00:06:41,963 --> 00:06:43,230 You know what, you guys, 139 00:06:43,333 --> 00:06:44,263 maybe we should just kinda wrap this thing up? 140 00:06:44,365 --> 00:06:45,432 Wait, you did have sex to make--? 141 00:06:45,534 --> 00:06:46,499 Yeah, yeah. You know what? We gotta-- 142 00:06:46,601 --> 00:06:48,177 That's too much gardening for you, please. 143 00:06:48,279 --> 00:06:50,780 I thought that they put it-- No, I thought you created a zygote. 144 00:06:50,882 --> 00:06:52,587 - I'm so tired. - Christine. 145 00:06:52,689 --> 00:06:55,192 - What? - You baking your cookies? 146 00:06:55,294 --> 00:06:56,552 Oh, um... 147 00:06:56,654 --> 00:06:58,330 Why? Why? Does it smell like cookies? 148 00:06:58,432 --> 00:06:59,299 Mm-hmm. 149 00:06:59,401 --> 00:07:00,393 Really? 150 00:07:00,496 --> 00:07:01,639 No, I just-- I think my kitchen 151 00:07:01,741 --> 00:07:03,768 just always smells like that. You know? 152 00:07:03,870 --> 00:07:06,214 And you know what? Also, I was heating the food in the oven. 153 00:07:06,549 --> 00:07:08,076 Do you want dessert? 154 00:07:08,746 --> 00:07:10,918 - We called an Uber. - We have fortune cookies. 155 00:07:11,321 --> 00:07:12,585 Do you remember Macaulay Culkin? 156 00:07:12,688 --> 00:07:14,898 When they came back, he was changed forever. 157 00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:16,894 - And I believed it. - Babe. Let's walk them out. 158 00:07:17,498 --> 00:07:18,900 You asked her about it specifically? 159 00:07:19,003 --> 00:07:20,141 Yeah. She lied. 160 00:07:20,410 --> 00:07:21,469 Oh... 161 00:07:21,771 --> 00:07:24,679 She was hiding 'em till after we'd all gone. 162 00:07:25,416 --> 00:07:28,018 When they get even higher as fuck. Right? 163 00:07:31,296 --> 00:07:33,200 And Christine, when she's not high? 164 00:07:34,300 --> 00:07:35,534 - So grumpy. - Ugh. 165 00:07:39,410 --> 00:07:40,511 Good thing we didn't tell 'em. 166 00:07:42,482 --> 00:07:43,957 Would've been too much for them to take. 167 00:07:59,990 --> 00:08:02,094 Maybe I laid it on a little too thick. 168 00:08:02,363 --> 00:08:03,326 Too thick? 169 00:08:04,795 --> 00:08:06,029 What? 170 00:08:06,531 --> 00:08:09,099 Why, 'cause one time you called me darling? 171 00:08:09,201 --> 00:08:10,142 That's like... 172 00:08:11,780 --> 00:08:13,410 I mean, if that's your idea 173 00:08:13,512 --> 00:08:15,584 of laying it on too thick, I mean, that's-- 174 00:08:15,686 --> 00:08:17,082 Okay, okay! 175 00:08:27,545 --> 00:08:28,541 You took one? 176 00:08:28,976 --> 00:08:30,241 Fuck yeah. 177 00:08:30,910 --> 00:08:35,225 When I went to the bathroom, I was stealing it. 178 00:08:37,692 --> 00:08:38,924 It's gonna make you really fucking high. 179 00:08:40,362 --> 00:08:41,864 That's the idea. 180 00:08:46,647 --> 00:08:47,745 Mm. 181 00:09:01,073 --> 00:09:02,345 Fuck it. 182 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:13,466 You ate more than I did. 183 00:09:19,743 --> 00:09:21,850 Oh shit, that was probably really stupid. 184 00:09:21,952 --> 00:09:24,047 I love it. 185 00:09:24,957 --> 00:09:26,327 Oh, my God. 186 00:09:36,542 --> 00:09:37,784 Wait. What are you doing? 187 00:09:37,886 --> 00:09:38,912 Oh, my God. What am I doing? 188 00:09:39,623 --> 00:09:41,423 Sorry. Shit. 189 00:09:43,893 --> 00:09:44,860 Oh! 190 00:09:44,962 --> 00:09:45,860 Shit. 191 00:09:46,427 --> 00:09:47,864 Hey. Hey! 192 00:09:49,576 --> 00:09:50,573 You okay? 193 00:09:51,176 --> 00:09:52,843 Are you gonna be okay? 194 00:09:54,710 --> 00:09:56,552 - I think so. - Yeah? 195 00:09:57,791 --> 00:09:58,992 You're okay? 196 00:09:59,094 --> 00:10:00,923 Yeah. The cookie hasn't hit me yet. 197 00:10:02,868 --> 00:10:04,494 I'm gonna be okay. 198 00:10:04,596 --> 00:10:05,537 I'll be okay. 199 00:10:20,199 --> 00:10:21,595 Holy shit. 200 00:11:11,003 --> 00:11:12,200 What's up? 201 00:11:12,803 --> 00:11:14,404 I just wanna come in and get a drink. 202 00:11:14,506 --> 00:11:15,545 Yeah, 15 buck cover. 203 00:11:17,118 --> 00:11:18,815 - To get a drink? - It's comedy. 204 00:11:21,486 --> 00:11:22,361 Is it funny? 205 00:11:24,063 --> 00:11:25,391 It's 15 bucks, man. 206 00:11:25,827 --> 00:11:27,236 Yeah, you already said that. 207 00:11:27,338 --> 00:11:29,273 Look, man, I don't have any money on me. 208 00:11:29,375 --> 00:11:30,806 Yeah, I don't know what to tell you. 209 00:11:31,737 --> 00:11:32,981 - Hey. - Yo. 210 00:11:33,083 --> 00:11:34,109 - Good luck. - Thank you. 211 00:11:35,619 --> 00:11:36,889 How come she didn't have to pay 15 bucks? 212 00:11:36,991 --> 00:11:38,084 She put her name down. 213 00:11:42,500 --> 00:11:43,726 Well, you're welcome. 214 00:11:44,429 --> 00:11:46,805 All right. Alex Novak, downstairs in two minutes. 215 00:11:48,573 --> 00:11:49,747 That's me. 216 00:11:50,351 --> 00:11:51,585 Well, you better head down there, then. 217 00:11:52,256 --> 00:11:53,954 - Where? - Just straight behind you. 218 00:11:54,056 --> 00:11:55,223 Down the stairs. 219 00:12:03,074 --> 00:12:04,744 Hey, hey. Hey. 220 00:12:04,846 --> 00:12:06,780 Why don't you leave that right over there with the other ones? 221 00:12:07,451 --> 00:12:08,882 - Right here? - Yeah. They'll watch it. 222 00:12:12,796 --> 00:12:13,859 Okay. 223 00:12:21,746 --> 00:12:22,908 Oh, my God. It's completely different. 224 00:12:23,011 --> 00:12:24,776 Like, you cannot have casual sex with a woman. 225 00:12:24,878 --> 00:12:26,145 Okay? You can't do it. 226 00:12:26,248 --> 00:12:29,621 You have to buy her dinner, um, at least. 227 00:12:29,723 --> 00:12:31,325 With men, I am the dinner. 228 00:12:32,998 --> 00:12:36,040 It's easy. It's easy. It's simple. It's simple. 229 00:12:36,142 --> 00:12:37,703 - Sorry. - What up, man? 230 00:12:37,805 --> 00:12:39,515 - They called me. - Yeah. 231 00:12:40,552 --> 00:12:42,283 When you see the light, just get off, all right? 232 00:12:43,887 --> 00:12:45,924 There you go. Just talk to 'em, have fun. 233 00:12:46,026 --> 00:12:47,495 ...orgasm from a man who embarrasses you. 234 00:12:47,597 --> 00:12:50,233 No, I'm leaving. I'm leaving. I'm going. 235 00:12:53,109 --> 00:12:54,511 Okay. 236 00:12:54,613 --> 00:12:57,043 That's Rolo, everybody! That was really funny. 237 00:12:57,145 --> 00:12:59,946 Alrighty, I got a lot of familiar names on here, 238 00:13:00,048 --> 00:13:01,722 but I'm gonna shake it up a bit. 239 00:13:01,825 --> 00:13:05,394 Uh, let's put your hands together for Alec Novak? 240 00:13:05,496 --> 00:13:06,694 Alec Novak. 241 00:13:09,098 --> 00:13:10,533 Alec Novak, everybody. 242 00:13:12,412 --> 00:13:13,175 Alec! 243 00:13:28,310 --> 00:13:29,615 Um... 244 00:13:34,458 --> 00:13:36,056 I don't have a ton of jokes. 245 00:13:38,727 --> 00:13:40,229 And, uh... 246 00:13:40,332 --> 00:13:43,676 Actually my name is Alex Novak, uh, for that lady. 247 00:13:45,512 --> 00:13:47,210 It's okay. 248 00:13:48,353 --> 00:13:49,787 My parents won't be mad. 249 00:13:52,963 --> 00:13:54,191 Um... 250 00:13:56,059 --> 00:13:57,263 What do I tell ya? 251 00:13:58,502 --> 00:13:59,972 Um... 252 00:14:03,339 --> 00:14:05,048 I think I'm getting a divorce. 253 00:14:07,024 --> 00:14:08,153 Yeah. 254 00:14:11,598 --> 00:14:13,161 What tipped me off was that, uh, 255 00:14:13,263 --> 00:14:15,764 I'm living, um, in an apartment on my own. 256 00:14:17,639 --> 00:14:19,008 Yeah. 257 00:14:19,111 --> 00:14:21,313 And my wife and kids don't live there. So... 258 00:14:24,891 --> 00:14:26,487 That was probably the-- the biggest clue. 259 00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:30,197 Um... 260 00:14:38,645 --> 00:14:40,790 I was, uh... Well, I was married for 20 years. 261 00:14:42,286 --> 00:14:44,094 Yeah. 262 00:14:44,865 --> 00:14:46,835 Uh, engaged-- Uh, engaged for two years. 263 00:14:47,964 --> 00:14:49,235 Dated for three. 264 00:14:52,305 --> 00:14:55,677 And... met a year before that. 265 00:14:58,083 --> 00:14:59,553 So, 26 years. 266 00:15:02,334 --> 00:15:03,395 Which makes sense... 267 00:15:04,972 --> 00:15:06,936 now, because my wife used to say being married to me 268 00:15:07,038 --> 00:15:08,573 was like running a marathon. 269 00:15:12,448 --> 00:15:14,649 I don't really know what happened, um... 270 00:15:17,321 --> 00:15:18,489 to my marriage. Uh... 271 00:15:18,591 --> 00:15:23,171 I came home one day, um... and my... 272 00:15:25,548 --> 00:15:27,245 I guess, still wife, but... 273 00:15:28,553 --> 00:15:30,251 Uh, Tess was her name. 274 00:15:32,123 --> 00:15:35,393 Her name is still Tess. 275 00:15:37,103 --> 00:15:39,470 I plan on, uh, letting her keep that in the divorce. 276 00:15:44,284 --> 00:15:45,509 Um... 277 00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:48,358 Yeah, I-- I came home, and, um... 278 00:15:49,061 --> 00:15:51,855 there was a conversation, I remember, and somebody said... 279 00:15:54,299 --> 00:15:58,274 It, um... "Should we end this thing?" 280 00:15:58,911 --> 00:16:00,576 And then there was an agreement. 281 00:16:02,250 --> 00:16:04,253 Um, I'm pretty sure she said-- 282 00:16:06,392 --> 00:16:08,362 This is what she meant about not paying attention. 283 00:16:11,363 --> 00:16:13,602 Yeah, she-- I came home. 284 00:16:15,138 --> 00:16:16,677 And, uh... 285 00:16:17,180 --> 00:16:20,049 I guess we both agreed it was over. 286 00:16:20,519 --> 00:16:23,626 Which is awesome... that at least we agreed on that. 287 00:16:27,002 --> 00:16:28,769 It was less awesome for our two kids. 288 00:16:28,871 --> 00:16:31,103 Yeah. 289 00:16:31,205 --> 00:16:32,408 It's okay. They're ten. 290 00:16:35,018 --> 00:16:36,648 The-- They're not-- They're not twins. 291 00:16:37,624 --> 00:16:38,850 They're Irish twins. 292 00:16:41,124 --> 00:16:42,263 Which is... 293 00:16:44,169 --> 00:16:46,034 ...why I pulled an Irish goodbye when I left. 294 00:16:48,446 --> 00:16:49,809 Oh, come on. 295 00:16:50,278 --> 00:16:51,575 I thought you guys told-- 296 00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:52,883 I thought this was a comedy... 297 00:16:52,985 --> 00:16:55,025 ...show. 298 00:16:57,762 --> 00:16:59,066 Anyway, um... 299 00:17:00,365 --> 00:17:02,898 I think I earned my keep here. Um... 300 00:17:06,045 --> 00:17:07,780 What do I say? My name's Alex. 301 00:17:12,518 --> 00:17:14,027 Alex Novak, everybody. 302 00:17:14,129 --> 00:17:15,527 Sorry. Is there a bathroom here? 303 00:17:15,630 --> 00:17:19,667 Wow. All right, let's hear it for Jill McKenzie. 304 00:17:19,769 --> 00:17:22,872 There she is. There she is. 305 00:17:24,382 --> 00:17:26,485 Keep it going for Kemp, you guys. Kemp rules. 306 00:17:26,589 --> 00:17:27,689 What's up? 307 00:17:28,158 --> 00:17:30,656 The side part is the skinny part. Agreed? 308 00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:33,464 Now, the skinny part, the side part-- same part. 309 00:17:33,567 --> 00:17:35,837 Same size, same part. You know what I'm talking about? 310 00:17:35,939 --> 00:17:37,567 You take it out and-- 311 00:17:37,669 --> 00:17:39,973 ♪ Allez, allez, allez ♪ 312 00:17:40,576 --> 00:17:42,848 ♪ Allez, allez, allez ♪ 313 00:17:43,283 --> 00:17:45,216 You have to favor a labia? 314 00:17:45,820 --> 00:17:47,957 ♪ We've conquered All of Europe ♪ 315 00:17:48,460 --> 00:17:50,267 ♪ We're never gonna stop ♪ 316 00:17:51,873 --> 00:17:53,670 ♪ Allez, allez, allez ♪ 317 00:17:55,110 --> 00:17:57,149 ♪ Allez, allez, allez ♪ 318 00:17:58,019 --> 00:17:59,316 because she wants me to feel good. 319 00:17:59,418 --> 00:18:01,254 Like, for instance, she's like a hot girl. 320 00:18:01,357 --> 00:18:02,619 You know what I mean? Like, she has the vagina 321 00:18:02,721 --> 00:18:04,193 that fits the little underwear, okay? 322 00:18:04,295 --> 00:18:05,623 She goes... And she... 323 00:18:05,725 --> 00:18:07,296 What was the advice she gave me? 324 00:18:07,398 --> 00:18:08,498 Oh, she said, "Boundaries?" 325 00:18:08,601 --> 00:18:09,666 You guys know about these boundaries? 326 00:18:09,768 --> 00:18:11,172 You guys talk about these boundaries? 327 00:18:11,274 --> 00:18:12,675 - She goes... - First time? 328 00:18:12,777 --> 00:18:14,339 She goes, um, "You need to learn how to set boundaries." 329 00:18:14,441 --> 00:18:15,778 Yeah. 330 00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:17,219 Stick around. Support your fellow comics. 331 00:18:17,321 --> 00:18:18,890 "I told my boyfriend he has to text me 332 00:18:18,992 --> 00:18:20,456 every night before bed, 333 00:18:20,558 --> 00:18:22,157 'Goodnight, I love you' or it's over." 334 00:18:24,196 --> 00:18:26,670 And she goes, "Now, he texts me every night before bed, 335 00:18:26,772 --> 00:18:28,871 'Goodnight, I love you.' And now everything's great." 336 00:18:28,973 --> 00:18:31,175 And I was like, "Oh, thank-- thank you. Thanks." 337 00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:33,847 If I said that to any man I've ever dated, they would be like, 338 00:18:33,949 --> 00:18:35,220 "Oh, perfect. I was on the fence anyway. 339 00:18:35,322 --> 00:18:36,317 Get the fuck outta here, bitch." 340 00:18:37,958 --> 00:18:40,059 You know what, I'm not fucking calling in favors. 341 00:18:40,161 --> 00:18:41,995 With me in a relationship, it's me going, "No, dude." 342 00:18:42,097 --> 00:18:44,869 I... I gotta date better men. I have to. 343 00:18:44,972 --> 00:18:46,773 My girlfriends are dating men who are, like, 344 00:18:46,875 --> 00:18:49,277 running 10Ks on the weekends for fun. 345 00:18:49,379 --> 00:18:51,884 My ex wouldn't let me touch his Magic: The Gathering cards 346 00:18:51,986 --> 00:18:54,021 'cause he was worried that I would bend them. 347 00:18:54,123 --> 00:18:56,467 They didn't say nothing about my sister's new ass. 348 00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:57,993 Not even a warning. 349 00:18:58,095 --> 00:18:59,270 Just a warning would have been nice. 350 00:18:59,372 --> 00:19:00,700 Something. Anything. 351 00:19:00,803 --> 00:19:02,803 "Hey Reggie, go in the kitchen. 352 00:19:02,906 --> 00:19:04,746 Meg Thee Stallion is in there." 353 00:19:04,848 --> 00:19:07,315 Now, I don't feel bad for looking at my sister's new butt. 354 00:19:07,451 --> 00:19:09,418 ...on PS5. Kung fu game. 355 00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:10,526 Got it right now? 356 00:20:08,210 --> 00:20:09,706 So, what happens now? 357 00:20:09,809 --> 00:20:12,178 Between, you know, Mom and you? 358 00:20:12,647 --> 00:20:13,983 What do you mean? 359 00:20:14,085 --> 00:20:17,355 Well, you know, you guys told us that you separated? 360 00:20:17,457 --> 00:20:18,826 Yeah. 361 00:20:18,929 --> 00:20:20,931 Does that mean you're going to get divorced? 362 00:20:22,138 --> 00:20:23,670 Well, I... 363 00:20:23,773 --> 00:20:25,241 - Remember that dragon? - What dragon? 364 00:20:25,343 --> 00:20:27,348 At the... at the assembly. 365 00:20:27,450 --> 00:20:29,513 The school assembly. The big red dragon. 366 00:20:29,615 --> 00:20:31,484 You mean the lion? 367 00:20:31,854 --> 00:20:33,260 Was it a lion? Looked like a dragon. 368 00:20:33,362 --> 00:20:34,585 It only had two people in it. 369 00:20:34,687 --> 00:20:36,190 Huh. 370 00:20:36,292 --> 00:20:38,095 What does a dragon have to do with anything? 371 00:20:38,197 --> 00:20:39,732 - It was a lion. - Whatever it was, 372 00:20:39,835 --> 00:20:41,373 - lion or dragon. - Lion. 373 00:20:41,475 --> 00:20:43,478 It was big and it was brave, 374 00:20:43,580 --> 00:20:45,513 and that's what I need you guys to be. 375 00:20:45,615 --> 00:20:47,154 That's not it at all. 376 00:20:47,256 --> 00:20:48,656 The lion chews up the lettuce, 377 00:20:48,759 --> 00:20:50,956 and that brings us wealth and prosperity for the new year. 378 00:20:51,058 --> 00:20:53,525 Right. That's it. That's exactly it. Right. 379 00:20:54,129 --> 00:20:55,697 Are you going to feed the lion, Dad? 380 00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:57,300 Me? I don't know, I... 381 00:20:57,911 --> 00:20:59,536 Are you? 382 00:20:59,638 --> 00:21:02,051 I fed it because I have goals this year I want to achieve. 383 00:21:02,153 --> 00:21:03,417 Do you have goals, Dad? 384 00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:04,786 No, of course I do. Of course-- 385 00:21:04,889 --> 00:21:06,626 - Dad, you should have goals. - We have goals. 386 00:21:08,924 --> 00:21:09,792 Good night, guys. 387 00:21:09,894 --> 00:21:10,727 - Settle in. - Dad-- 388 00:21:10,830 --> 00:21:11,763 Settle in. All right. 389 00:21:11,866 --> 00:21:13,437 - Love you. - Love you, too. 390 00:21:13,540 --> 00:21:15,344 Get down there. Get down there. 391 00:21:15,446 --> 00:21:17,307 All right, you guys. Good night, guys. 392 00:21:18,749 --> 00:21:20,346 - No talking, all right, guys? - Okay. 393 00:21:28,869 --> 00:21:30,765 I haven't told your father. 394 00:21:30,868 --> 00:21:31,911 What? 395 00:21:32,013 --> 00:21:33,571 Entre nous. 396 00:21:33,673 --> 00:21:36,048 No, Mom, there is no entre nous. We don't have any secrets. 397 00:21:36,150 --> 00:21:37,652 The boys know everything. You don't have to whisper. 398 00:21:37,754 --> 00:21:39,052 Well, you don't have to embarrass me. 399 00:21:39,154 --> 00:21:40,152 I just told you your father doesn't know. 400 00:21:40,254 --> 00:21:41,824 - Okay-- - What doesn't Grandpa know? 401 00:21:41,926 --> 00:21:43,492 That Mom and I are splitting up. 402 00:21:43,594 --> 00:21:44,962 Oh. 403 00:21:45,064 --> 00:21:46,164 Think you should tell him, Dada. 404 00:21:46,266 --> 00:21:47,637 - Great. - Yes, son, that's up to you. 405 00:21:47,740 --> 00:21:48,740 It's got nothing to do with me. 406 00:21:48,843 --> 00:21:49,971 Yeah, well tell that to our marriage. 407 00:21:50,073 --> 00:21:51,540 Look how you're going on. 408 00:21:51,642 --> 00:21:54,817 And stop being jealous of my friendship with Tess. 409 00:21:54,919 --> 00:21:57,285 I adore her. I love her so much. 410 00:21:57,387 --> 00:21:58,891 - Dad! Dad? - Yeah. I know it. What? 411 00:21:58,994 --> 00:22:00,259 - And you know something? - Dad! 412 00:22:00,362 --> 00:22:02,536 Look, you two have always been very different. 413 00:22:02,638 --> 00:22:03,369 Yeah, and you and Dad are twins? 414 00:22:03,471 --> 00:22:04,740 Dad? Dad? 415 00:22:04,843 --> 00:22:06,337 Your father is an immigrant to this country. 416 00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:08,274 - I know that. - And I've always been a woman 417 00:22:08,376 --> 00:22:09,652 who wants the taste of the exotic. 418 00:22:09,754 --> 00:22:11,414 - And that's what makes it work. - Mom! Jesus, Mom. 419 00:22:11,516 --> 00:22:12,423 I'm just saying this in front of the children... 420 00:22:12,526 --> 00:22:13,959 Can I have another apple juice? 421 00:22:14,061 --> 00:22:15,156 - I already said no. - ...because there's no secrets, 422 00:22:15,258 --> 00:22:18,195 - so... Just pick a lane, okay? - I know. 423 00:22:18,297 --> 00:22:20,103 - Why not? - For crying out loud. 424 00:22:20,805 --> 00:22:21,836 Felix, it's your turn. 425 00:22:21,939 --> 00:22:23,580 Mom, do you have any... 426 00:22:23,682 --> 00:22:25,108 Do you have any more of those juice boxes? 427 00:22:25,210 --> 00:22:27,048 Your father drank them all. 428 00:22:27,150 --> 00:22:29,052 It's got little pretzels on it. 429 00:22:29,154 --> 00:22:31,054 They're all individual pretzels? 430 00:22:31,156 --> 00:22:32,664 They all started individual, 431 00:22:32,767 --> 00:22:34,993 and then I, uh, glued most of them together. 432 00:22:35,095 --> 00:22:36,164 Oh, oh. 433 00:22:36,266 --> 00:22:37,798 There's one or two separate. 434 00:22:37,901 --> 00:22:39,377 And you have the mustard and the ketchup there, too. 435 00:22:39,479 --> 00:22:40,479 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 436 00:22:40,581 --> 00:22:42,043 But the guy's got the day off. 437 00:22:42,145 --> 00:22:43,445 You know? 438 00:22:43,547 --> 00:22:44,850 He's got the day off like the rest of the town. 439 00:22:44,953 --> 00:22:46,826 Everybody's taking today off. 440 00:22:47,696 --> 00:22:49,832 She thinks I don't know, but I know. 441 00:22:50,435 --> 00:22:51,827 Here, put that there. 442 00:22:51,931 --> 00:22:52,695 And, uh... 443 00:22:54,377 --> 00:22:55,944 For me, it's no big deal. 444 00:22:56,881 --> 00:22:59,750 Well, it is kind of a big deal, Dad. 445 00:22:59,852 --> 00:23:01,145 I think that we're gonna get divorced. 446 00:23:01,247 --> 00:23:03,017 Ah, okay. Slow down. 447 00:23:03,119 --> 00:23:05,259 Slow down. 448 00:23:07,030 --> 00:23:08,897 Clean your plates everyone. 449 00:23:09,399 --> 00:23:10,935 Grandma, do you have any Jell-O? 450 00:23:11,304 --> 00:23:12,812 - In the fridge. - Okay. 451 00:23:14,807 --> 00:23:17,017 That's not what's going on. Nobody cheated. 452 00:23:17,119 --> 00:23:19,524 Yeah, well, so what is the problem then? 453 00:23:19,626 --> 00:23:20,388 I don't know, it's... 454 00:23:22,564 --> 00:23:23,764 ...complicated. 455 00:23:23,866 --> 00:23:25,068 It's complicated. 456 00:23:27,005 --> 00:23:28,503 You don't have to tell me that. 457 00:25:28,446 --> 00:25:30,683 Is Dada going to be okay? 458 00:25:31,153 --> 00:25:33,520 Of course. What do you mean? 459 00:25:33,622 --> 00:25:36,763 I don't know, he's just out there. On his own. 460 00:25:36,865 --> 00:25:38,100 But he's not alone. 461 00:25:38,202 --> 00:25:40,434 He loves when you boys stay with him. 462 00:25:40,536 --> 00:25:43,304 - But he sleeps on the couch. - Huh? 463 00:25:43,406 --> 00:25:44,911 We sleep in his bed. 464 00:25:45,013 --> 00:25:46,515 Yeah, it's awesome. 465 00:25:47,049 --> 00:25:48,090 Great. 466 00:26:07,862 --> 00:26:10,233 For fuck's sake. 467 00:26:15,339 --> 00:26:17,037 Hey there, I'm Alex Novak. 468 00:26:17,882 --> 00:26:19,111 How you doing tonight? 469 00:26:19,780 --> 00:26:22,150 Once again I didn't want to pay the 15 bucks, 470 00:26:22,252 --> 00:26:24,294 so... here I am. 471 00:26:26,768 --> 00:26:28,297 No, I'm joking, and... 472 00:26:28,399 --> 00:26:30,363 No, no, no, I'm joking. I, uh... 473 00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:33,537 I didn't pay last time, but I was willing to pay this time, 474 00:26:33,639 --> 00:26:34,644 but I wanted to, uh... 475 00:26:36,285 --> 00:26:38,713 I said, uh, I wanted to have fun. 476 00:26:38,815 --> 00:26:39,957 Wanted to have fun here tonight. 477 00:26:40,059 --> 00:26:41,460 Anybody else wanna have fun? 478 00:26:42,092 --> 00:26:43,662 Yeah? 479 00:26:43,764 --> 00:26:46,237 You know, I recently got fired. 480 00:26:46,339 --> 00:26:49,002 It's the fucking fifth time I've been fired. 481 00:26:50,442 --> 00:26:52,176 I've only had three jobs. 482 00:26:55,657 --> 00:26:58,320 That means I've gotten fired from two jobs fucking twice. 483 00:27:00,363 --> 00:27:01,431 Funny how things change... 484 00:27:01,533 --> 00:27:02,563 Bathroom's straight down and to the right. 485 00:27:02,665 --> 00:27:04,031 No, I think I'm next on the... 486 00:27:04,134 --> 00:27:04,939 How things become cool and uncool. 487 00:27:05,041 --> 00:27:06,108 They called my name. 488 00:27:06,212 --> 00:27:08,373 I drive a Tesla. 489 00:27:08,476 --> 00:27:09,450 And, um... 490 00:27:11,087 --> 00:27:12,255 I just have one question. 491 00:27:12,357 --> 00:27:15,655 Can you stop keying my fucking car? 492 00:27:15,757 --> 00:27:17,431 So, a couple months into it, 493 00:27:17,534 --> 00:27:21,033 they bring my folks in for like a parent's day. 494 00:27:21,135 --> 00:27:23,674 They kind of catch them up on our progress, you know? 495 00:27:23,776 --> 00:27:26,212 I'm-- I'm a teenager at this point and, uh... 496 00:27:26,848 --> 00:27:29,418 So they come in and, and Pete says, you know, 497 00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:30,853 "Alex has been great. 498 00:27:30,956 --> 00:27:32,394 He's opened up, and this is what's going on, 499 00:27:32,496 --> 00:27:33,924 and this is how he feels about this 500 00:27:34,026 --> 00:27:36,565 and this dynamic that's going on at home." 501 00:27:36,668 --> 00:27:38,567 My parents just kind of listen. 502 00:27:39,103 --> 00:27:41,608 We're driving home, little while later. 503 00:27:41,711 --> 00:27:43,076 And I remember this so clearly. 504 00:27:43,179 --> 00:27:46,522 I was in the back seat of my mom's station wagon. 505 00:27:46,624 --> 00:27:47,987 But my dad was driving. Doesn't matter. 506 00:27:48,089 --> 00:27:49,792 If my Dad was in the car, he was always driving, 507 00:27:49,894 --> 00:27:52,369 even though it was my mom's station wagon. 508 00:27:52,472 --> 00:27:55,839 And I remember her being in the passenger seat 509 00:27:55,941 --> 00:27:59,518 and spinning around, and looking at me and saying, 510 00:28:00,522 --> 00:28:03,252 "How dare you tell this stranger all our family secrets." 511 00:28:06,258 --> 00:28:09,129 And I was like, "You made go talk to the guy. 512 00:28:09,232 --> 00:28:12,110 You literally paid the guy to listen to the problem. 513 00:28:12,213 --> 00:28:14,674 You set this up. You drove me there." 514 00:28:14,777 --> 00:28:15,950 That's insane. 515 00:28:16,052 --> 00:28:17,344 That would be like... 516 00:28:18,414 --> 00:28:19,650 That would be like-- That'd be like your partner 517 00:28:19,752 --> 00:28:21,695 driving you to an orgy... 518 00:28:23,396 --> 00:28:24,763 ...and then saying, 519 00:28:24,866 --> 00:28:27,002 "I can't believe you fucked all those people." 520 00:28:29,006 --> 00:28:31,482 "That was the point of being there in the-- 521 00:28:31,584 --> 00:28:35,084 You knew where I was going. I was naked in the car." 522 00:28:36,819 --> 00:28:38,494 Anyway, uh, this is, uh... 523 00:28:38,596 --> 00:28:39,756 Boy, this is starting to actually get good 524 00:28:39,858 --> 00:28:41,125 and now my time is up. 525 00:28:41,229 --> 00:28:43,135 This is so awesome. I will see you next time. 526 00:28:44,941 --> 00:28:46,676 Same place. I'm coming back. We'll meet here, all right? 527 00:28:46,778 --> 00:28:48,278 We'll all meet here. All right, I've been Alex Novak. 528 00:28:48,380 --> 00:28:49,677 Thank you so much. 529 00:28:49,779 --> 00:28:51,588 Sad guy, you hanging out? 530 00:28:51,690 --> 00:28:53,182 Everyone's hanging out in the back booth to the right. 531 00:28:53,285 --> 00:28:54,361 We got some actually funny people 532 00:28:54,463 --> 00:28:56,088 - coming to the stage next. - Okay, thank you. 533 00:28:56,190 --> 00:28:57,397 Good. It takes the pressure off. 534 00:28:57,500 --> 00:28:58,769 That's how I feel about my dog. 535 00:28:58,872 --> 00:28:59,930 Hey. 536 00:29:00,032 --> 00:29:01,266 - Cool to sit down here? - Yeah. 537 00:29:01,368 --> 00:29:03,168 - Look who's back. - Just talked to Rolo upstairs. 538 00:29:03,271 --> 00:29:04,907 Hey, I remember you from my-- Yeah. 539 00:29:05,009 --> 00:29:07,353 - What up? Dan. What up? - Alex. 540 00:29:07,455 --> 00:29:09,683 How'd it go? I'm surprised you back. 541 00:29:09,785 --> 00:29:10,687 - Really? - Yeah. 542 00:29:10,789 --> 00:29:12,129 - That bad? - Yeah, I mean... 543 00:29:12,232 --> 00:29:13,565 - It wasn't bad. - It wasn't. 544 00:29:13,667 --> 00:29:15,029 - What do you even do? - Just say it. 545 00:29:15,131 --> 00:29:16,499 - He's gonna ask for a job. - Come on, what is it? 546 00:29:16,601 --> 00:29:18,003 I work in finance. 547 00:29:18,105 --> 00:29:19,273 If you wanna do it again, I'll tell you the website. 548 00:29:19,375 --> 00:29:20,510 Just DM me. 549 00:29:20,612 --> 00:29:22,015 - All right. - Yeah. Just... 550 00:29:22,551 --> 00:29:24,846 All the mics in the city, badsaliva.com. 551 00:29:24,948 --> 00:29:26,717 And just, keep going up. 552 00:29:27,554 --> 00:29:29,697 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta go up five, six times a week. 553 00:29:31,269 --> 00:29:32,502 - Yeah. - Five or six times? 554 00:29:32,604 --> 00:29:34,271 No, sometimes we go five a night. 555 00:29:34,374 --> 00:29:35,641 On long nights, yeah. 556 00:29:35,743 --> 00:29:36,873 If you have like a bit you wanna work out, 557 00:29:36,975 --> 00:29:38,549 you go five times by the end of the night. 558 00:29:38,651 --> 00:29:40,646 You got a spot. Five minutes around the corner. 559 00:29:40,748 --> 00:29:42,016 - I'm Alex. - Lovely. 560 00:29:42,119 --> 00:29:43,523 That's the manager, and this is the one-- 561 00:29:43,625 --> 00:29:44,725 - Oh. - So, yeah, I have-- 562 00:29:44,827 --> 00:29:46,331 Don't make eye contact with her. Jesus. 563 00:29:46,433 --> 00:29:47,762 - Yeah, look down. - Shut up. 564 00:29:47,864 --> 00:29:49,162 - I have four rooms. - Sorry. 565 00:29:49,264 --> 00:29:51,666 You can see downstairs where you just were. 566 00:29:51,768 --> 00:29:52,838 Yeah. 567 00:29:53,073 --> 00:29:54,204 Stop showing off in front of your friend 568 00:29:54,307 --> 00:29:55,542 with Laverne and Shirley back there. 569 00:29:55,644 --> 00:29:57,079 Fuck you! 570 00:29:57,181 --> 00:29:58,914 - We got jobs. - I'm Laverne. I'm Laverne. 571 00:29:59,016 --> 00:30:00,158 What's your name again? 572 00:30:00,260 --> 00:30:01,989 - Alex. - Alex, come here. 573 00:30:02,091 --> 00:30:03,856 - Hey man, that's my white slave. - Shut up. 574 00:30:05,129 --> 00:30:06,304 You can have him. Take him. 575 00:30:06,407 --> 00:30:08,272 Come talk to some real comedians. 576 00:30:08,375 --> 00:30:09,510 What's up, man? 577 00:30:09,612 --> 00:30:11,208 Yo, you hold my pocket when we leave. 578 00:30:13,578 --> 00:30:16,115 You can't treat comedy like prison, man, Dan. 579 00:30:16,217 --> 00:30:17,727 He's Scared Straight -ing him. 580 00:30:17,829 --> 00:30:19,790 - Dan, don't Scared Straight him. - He's scared straight. 581 00:30:19,892 --> 00:30:21,394 He's scared white. 582 00:30:21,496 --> 00:30:23,099 You gonna be all right. How often are you getting up? 583 00:30:23,201 --> 00:30:25,642 I don't know, man. Tonight was my second time. 584 00:30:25,745 --> 00:30:27,071 I put it to you like, my pop used to let me 585 00:30:27,173 --> 00:30:28,947 watch Def Jam when I was six, 586 00:30:29,049 --> 00:30:31,479 but he would act like he was telling me not to watch it. 587 00:30:31,581 --> 00:30:34,121 "Hey, me and your stepmom are watchin' the program. 588 00:30:34,223 --> 00:30:36,666 It's on HBO. Go upstairs and watch something else." 589 00:30:36,768 --> 00:30:38,368 And then wink at me. And I'll be like, "Oh, shit." 590 00:30:38,470 --> 00:30:40,537 I actually got caught by my dad. 591 00:30:40,639 --> 00:30:42,202 I was trying to watch porn. 592 00:30:42,304 --> 00:30:43,776 You know, like, the, the late night HBO, 593 00:30:43,878 --> 00:30:45,475 the Taxicab Confessions or whatever. 594 00:30:45,577 --> 00:30:47,381 - Oh, yeah. Real Sex. - I was trying to watch porn, 595 00:30:47,483 --> 00:30:50,716 and it was Def Comedy Jam, and I saw Greer Barnes on stage 596 00:30:50,818 --> 00:30:53,155 doing a joke about Mike Tyson and Arnold Schwarzenegger 597 00:30:53,257 --> 00:30:54,498 sharing a jail cell together. 598 00:30:54,600 --> 00:30:56,132 I was dying laughing, 599 00:30:56,234 --> 00:30:58,072 and I asked my dad, I was like, "Is that a job?" 600 00:30:58,174 --> 00:31:00,538 And he was like, "Yeah. You gotta go to college first." 601 00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:02,517 - Been doing jokes ever since. - Gotta get up everyday. 602 00:31:02,619 --> 00:31:04,880 Open that diary, Anne Frank. Get to it. 603 00:31:04,982 --> 00:31:06,283 What? What's wrong? 604 00:31:06,387 --> 00:31:07,828 You guys just write stuff down all day? 605 00:31:07,930 --> 00:31:09,531 I said to open up his diary if he gonna write any jokes. 606 00:31:09,633 --> 00:31:10,990 - You gotta write. - Work on your craft. 607 00:31:11,092 --> 00:31:13,233 You gotta write. 608 00:31:28,763 --> 00:31:31,941 Just-- I was just watching CNN, and they say it's official, 609 00:31:33,336 --> 00:31:35,105 according to scientists... 610 00:31:35,642 --> 00:31:38,145 No. According to scientists, it's official, 611 00:31:38,247 --> 00:31:39,715 guys get hotter with age. 612 00:31:40,953 --> 00:31:42,523 Big win. 613 00:31:42,625 --> 00:31:44,859 Then we convinced them, you know what's really hot? 614 00:31:44,961 --> 00:31:45,870 Dad bods. 615 00:31:46,837 --> 00:31:48,037 You kiddin' me? We're on a roll. 616 00:31:48,140 --> 00:31:49,777 It's like, we're playing with house money now. 617 00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:51,978 What else-- What else can we get away with? 618 00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:54,117 You know what's super hot? Being poor. 619 00:32:11,789 --> 00:32:13,387 - He stole it. - You can't take-- 620 00:32:13,490 --> 00:32:14,657 - Hello. Good morning. Hi. - He doesn't even need it. 621 00:32:14,759 --> 00:32:15,594 - Hey. Hi. - Hey. 622 00:32:15,696 --> 00:32:16,927 Hey. Look who's here? 623 00:32:17,030 --> 00:32:18,228 - Hi, guys! Hi! Hi, guys. - Dad? 624 00:32:18,330 --> 00:32:19,671 I thought Mom was taking us to school. 625 00:32:19,773 --> 00:32:20,937 - Yeah, me too. - Yeah, I know. 626 00:32:21,039 --> 00:32:22,975 But maybe there's a surprise outside 627 00:32:23,077 --> 00:32:24,611 and maybe this has something to do with it. 628 00:32:24,713 --> 00:32:25,813 Is that a new car? 629 00:32:25,915 --> 00:32:26,949 I don't know if the term "car" 630 00:32:27,051 --> 00:32:28,149 really does it any kind of justice. 631 00:32:28,251 --> 00:32:29,517 - Alex. - Let's go. It's right outside. 632 00:32:29,619 --> 00:32:30,517 Let's go, let's go, let's go. Come check it out. 633 00:32:30,619 --> 00:32:31,317 Hold on! We're eating breakfast here. 634 00:32:31,419 --> 00:32:32,524 Come on, here we go. 635 00:32:34,130 --> 00:32:35,865 - This is sick. - Look at that! 636 00:32:35,967 --> 00:32:37,568 Oh, wait, wait, wait. 637 00:32:37,670 --> 00:32:38,910 - Hey! Hold on a second! - Whoa, this is cool. 638 00:32:39,012 --> 00:32:40,241 - Hang on. Let me get your mom. - Whoa. This is cool. 639 00:32:40,343 --> 00:32:42,576 - What? What did you do? - I am gonna immortalize 640 00:32:42,678 --> 00:32:45,249 the first moment that you lay eyes on this beauty. 641 00:32:45,351 --> 00:32:46,750 This is not how it's gonna work. 642 00:32:46,852 --> 00:32:48,420 Look at this thing. This gives you the morning off. 643 00:32:48,523 --> 00:32:50,593 From what? The morning off from what? 644 00:32:50,695 --> 00:32:52,334 I don't know. The Olympics are here in two years. 645 00:32:52,436 --> 00:32:53,696 What? 646 00:32:53,798 --> 00:32:54,774 Who knows what you're capable of? 647 00:32:54,876 --> 00:32:56,206 - What did you say? - All right. 648 00:32:56,409 --> 00:32:59,346 The fucking Olympics? Does he think that's funny? 649 00:33:00,012 --> 00:33:01,347 Fuck him. 650 00:33:01,449 --> 00:33:03,487 I mean, does he think this is about me? 651 00:33:04,661 --> 00:33:06,427 No, 'cause it's not. 652 00:33:07,331 --> 00:33:10,237 No, he didn't say it. He never says anything. 653 00:33:10,807 --> 00:33:12,235 I mean, isn't that typical? 654 00:33:12,505 --> 00:33:14,905 My God, you should know, you're his mom! 655 00:33:16,044 --> 00:33:17,151 Marilyn! 656 00:33:17,921 --> 00:33:19,313 - Hey. - I rang the doorbell. 657 00:33:19,415 --> 00:33:21,450 I hate the phone. 658 00:33:21,553 --> 00:33:22,963 I just wanted to see you. 659 00:33:23,065 --> 00:33:24,195 - Come inside. You're sweet. - No, no, no. 660 00:33:24,297 --> 00:33:25,800 Jan doesn't even know I left the house. 661 00:33:25,902 --> 00:33:27,032 I gotta get right back. 662 00:33:27,134 --> 00:33:29,004 - Okay. - I just... 663 00:33:29,106 --> 00:33:30,369 You're both in shock. 664 00:33:30,471 --> 00:33:31,842 - Yeah. - That's all. 665 00:33:31,945 --> 00:33:33,081 It's okay. 666 00:33:33,183 --> 00:33:34,918 And I just wanted to tell you one thing. 667 00:33:35,020 --> 00:33:37,226 - Okay. - Well, two things. 668 00:33:37,328 --> 00:33:38,391 One... 669 00:33:40,558 --> 00:33:43,798 Give yourself the grace... 670 00:33:44,775 --> 00:33:46,440 to feel what you feel. 671 00:33:47,371 --> 00:33:48,812 Unfiltered. 672 00:33:48,914 --> 00:33:50,448 And number two... 673 00:33:52,089 --> 00:33:54,393 The Olympics are here in two years. 674 00:33:54,495 --> 00:33:55,991 Oh, my God. 675 00:33:56,093 --> 00:33:57,727 Marilyn, fuck you! 676 00:34:00,135 --> 00:34:01,737 - But I get it. - Do you? 677 00:34:01,839 --> 00:34:02,808 I get it. 678 00:34:02,910 --> 00:34:04,906 I think so. Come here. 679 00:34:08,582 --> 00:34:09,556 Are you gonna start fucking? 680 00:34:09,658 --> 00:34:10,423 Immediately. 681 00:34:10,525 --> 00:34:12,025 Yes! 682 00:34:12,128 --> 00:34:13,698 New dick. That's what you need. 683 00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:15,127 Some new deep dickin' too. 684 00:34:15,229 --> 00:34:16,429 No pity fucks. 685 00:34:16,531 --> 00:34:18,207 Maybe that's what you need. 686 00:34:18,309 --> 00:34:20,070 It's like the one good thing Balls and I have left. 687 00:34:20,172 --> 00:34:21,170 Really? 688 00:34:21,607 --> 00:34:23,348 Y'all ever fuck sober? 689 00:34:23,450 --> 00:34:25,347 No. I hate him too much to be able to do that. 690 00:34:25,449 --> 00:34:26,653 Well, that's a red flag. 691 00:34:27,461 --> 00:34:28,524 No duh. 692 00:34:28,894 --> 00:34:30,528 Hey. 693 00:34:31,398 --> 00:34:33,270 I'm gonna play for a club team, again. 694 00:34:34,837 --> 00:34:37,443 And I've been reaching out to people about coaching. 695 00:34:38,212 --> 00:34:40,781 - I just worry. - About what? 696 00:34:41,284 --> 00:34:43,748 Look, you have a full life. 697 00:34:44,251 --> 00:34:47,225 You're not defined by this one amazing thing you did. 698 00:34:47,327 --> 00:34:49,264 So, I just hope... 699 00:34:49,901 --> 00:34:53,945 that enough time has passed that you can re-enter this world, 700 00:34:54,047 --> 00:34:55,775 without giving it too much meaning. 701 00:34:55,877 --> 00:34:57,445 Yeah, but I'm not gonna be able to do that 702 00:34:57,547 --> 00:34:58,789 now that you said it out loud. 703 00:34:58,891 --> 00:35:00,354 I'm just reminding you, babe, 704 00:35:00,456 --> 00:35:01,891 you have done other amazing things. 705 00:35:01,993 --> 00:35:02,828 Like? 706 00:35:02,930 --> 00:35:04,765 Like being a mother. 707 00:35:04,867 --> 00:35:06,336 Like this house. 708 00:35:06,438 --> 00:35:09,067 I don't give a fuck about volleyball. You're great. 709 00:35:30,678 --> 00:35:31,849 Come on, puppies. 710 00:35:33,319 --> 00:35:34,590 Come on, babies. 711 00:35:36,223 --> 00:35:38,459 Come on, Charlie. Charlie, come to me. 712 00:35:38,561 --> 00:35:40,272 Come, Charlie. Yeah. 713 00:35:40,906 --> 00:35:42,507 Yes, baby. 714 00:35:44,243 --> 00:35:45,348 Come on. Come on. 715 00:35:46,278 --> 00:35:47,551 Yeah. 716 00:36:03,282 --> 00:36:05,252 - Don't move. - Hi, Mom. 717 00:36:05,354 --> 00:36:07,018 - Hey. - Are you lice free yet? 718 00:36:07,120 --> 00:36:09,490 - Yeah, I mean, I got it, but... - Mom. Mom, mom, mom! 719 00:36:09,827 --> 00:36:11,758 This guy's good. I'm just checking this guy. 720 00:36:12,294 --> 00:36:13,802 We're probably gonna have to check each other. 721 00:36:13,904 --> 00:36:15,368 - He's gonna give you lice. - Ew, that's disgusting. 722 00:36:15,470 --> 00:36:17,244 I gotta see if we... 723 00:36:17,346 --> 00:36:19,039 I can't tell if that's dandruff or... 724 00:36:19,141 --> 00:36:20,914 You got some more paper towels? 725 00:36:21,016 --> 00:36:23,081 I do have more paper towels. Just did a Costco run. 726 00:36:23,184 --> 00:36:24,788 There should some in the bedroom in the back. 727 00:36:24,890 --> 00:36:26,253 All right. 728 00:36:26,355 --> 00:36:27,496 - Dad, why do you have-- - See what I mean? 729 00:36:27,598 --> 00:36:28,993 Why are they in a doctor's office? 730 00:36:29,095 --> 00:36:32,036 So, you... using our old armoire? 731 00:36:33,107 --> 00:36:35,279 Yeah, I took it out of storage until I get some more furniture. 732 00:36:35,381 --> 00:36:36,378 Why, you want me to put it back? 733 00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:38,014 Immediately. 734 00:36:38,116 --> 00:36:40,357 No, it's just that hadn't talked about that kind of stuff. 735 00:36:40,460 --> 00:36:42,420 Yeah. Sorry. Probably should have asked first. 736 00:36:42,523 --> 00:36:43,960 It's fine. 737 00:36:45,030 --> 00:36:47,362 So, what do you think about your new style? 738 00:36:47,464 --> 00:36:48,703 You know what, I gotta get more paper towels. 739 00:36:48,806 --> 00:36:49,870 I think we should just go with this. 740 00:36:49,972 --> 00:36:50,771 - All the time. - Don't move. Don't move. 741 00:36:50,873 --> 00:36:52,372 - All right? - Don't move. 742 00:36:52,474 --> 00:36:52,948 You're lice-free, and we'll just keep this look. 743 00:36:57,853 --> 00:36:59,321 I think I might have lice. 744 00:36:59,423 --> 00:37:00,994 Hmm. 745 00:37:01,096 --> 00:37:03,028 Any-- Aren't you seeing it jump off me? Why are you-- 746 00:37:03,130 --> 00:37:04,435 Yeah, let's get you in the chair. 747 00:37:04,537 --> 00:37:06,004 I think that's what we gotta do. 748 00:37:06,106 --> 00:37:07,539 Yeah, you look-- One just crawled in between-- 749 00:37:07,641 --> 00:37:09,216 - No-- - Mom's pregnant. 750 00:37:09,318 --> 00:37:10,314 - You are so pregnant. - What? 751 00:37:10,416 --> 00:37:11,714 You hooked up with a bug. 752 00:37:11,817 --> 00:37:13,588 - All right, guys, enough. - Guys. 753 00:37:13,690 --> 00:37:14,987 But Dad, that's how you said you get lice. 754 00:37:15,090 --> 00:37:16,596 - Yeah... yeah. - Oh, is that how you said it? 755 00:37:16,698 --> 00:37:19,269 No. It's bec-- It was a joke, because the video said 756 00:37:19,371 --> 00:37:20,464 we're looking for baby eggs, all right? 757 00:37:20,566 --> 00:37:21,803 It was a joke. 758 00:37:21,905 --> 00:37:23,302 - Did you hook up with a bug? - No. 759 00:37:23,404 --> 00:37:25,604 - Well, you've got lice so... - Yeah, you did. 760 00:37:25,706 --> 00:37:27,584 - You hooked up with a bug - You promised not to tell them. 761 00:37:27,686 --> 00:37:29,854 - You have lice, too. - Yeah, sorry. I couldn't resist. 762 00:37:29,956 --> 00:37:31,193 All right, you know what? You guys need to rehearse. 763 00:37:31,295 --> 00:37:32,956 - Let's go. Let's go. - Okay. 764 00:37:33,058 --> 00:37:34,456 - Get busy. - I already know it. 765 00:37:34,558 --> 00:37:36,732 - Keep the volume down, too. - Turn the volume up? Okay. 766 00:37:36,835 --> 00:37:38,200 No, not up. Keep the volume down. 767 00:37:38,302 --> 00:37:38,999 Dad, do you know where the loudspeaker is? 768 00:37:39,101 --> 00:37:40,168 I'm serious about the volume. 769 00:37:40,270 --> 00:37:41,844 So you're really not seeing anything? 770 00:37:41,946 --> 00:37:44,412 - There's no little bites or... - I don't think so. 771 00:37:45,049 --> 00:37:46,554 To be honest, just looking-- 772 00:37:46,656 --> 00:37:48,118 Now, it's making me itch. I think I-- 773 00:37:48,220 --> 00:37:49,387 I must have it. Would you check me? 774 00:37:50,097 --> 00:37:51,226 Sure. 775 00:37:53,330 --> 00:37:54,967 You can get like little bites or... 776 00:37:55,069 --> 00:37:57,010 Yeah, make sure to really check. 777 00:37:57,112 --> 00:37:58,481 Yeah. 778 00:37:58,583 --> 00:38:00,277 "Under Pressure"? 779 00:38:01,386 --> 00:38:03,219 Oh. That's what that is. 780 00:38:04,593 --> 00:38:05,992 You didn't recognize it? 781 00:38:06,094 --> 00:38:08,264 No. The first 40 million times I didn't recognize it. 782 00:38:08,366 --> 00:38:09,967 They're obsessed. 783 00:38:10,503 --> 00:38:11,670 It's all they talk about. 784 00:38:11,772 --> 00:38:13,236 That performance is so far from now too. 785 00:38:13,338 --> 00:38:15,410 I wonder where they get their work ethic from. 786 00:38:15,512 --> 00:38:17,212 Mm. Poor boys. 787 00:38:18,256 --> 00:38:20,085 Just check one more in here. 788 00:38:24,194 --> 00:38:28,641 I'm gonna dip my toe into the coaching world. 789 00:38:30,975 --> 00:38:32,440 Is that why you were in the city? 790 00:38:33,411 --> 00:38:35,655 No. I was in the city 'cause you called me. 791 00:38:37,121 --> 00:38:38,956 Oh. I just figured you were in the city, 792 00:38:39,058 --> 00:38:40,695 because you said you'd come right over. 793 00:38:40,797 --> 00:38:42,897 Yeah. I wanted to see the halfway house 794 00:38:42,999 --> 00:38:44,640 our kids are living in part time. 795 00:38:44,742 --> 00:38:46,241 I'm glad you got the vibe that I'm going for. 796 00:38:46,343 --> 00:38:47,637 Yeah, you did great. 797 00:38:48,374 --> 00:38:51,345 I haven't talked to any programs yet, just... 798 00:38:54,394 --> 00:38:55,693 I think that's great. 799 00:38:55,796 --> 00:38:57,589 Any program would die to have you, I'm sure. 800 00:38:58,299 --> 00:38:59,670 Yeah. 801 00:39:00,240 --> 00:39:01,300 I think it's great, too. 802 00:39:03,874 --> 00:39:06,046 Um, I think you're good. 803 00:39:07,153 --> 00:39:08,578 Good. Okay. 804 00:39:09,821 --> 00:39:11,187 Do you wanna take a shower with-- 805 00:39:11,289 --> 00:39:13,625 and rinse off with some of that special shampoo? 806 00:39:13,727 --> 00:39:14,760 Oh, oh... 807 00:39:14,863 --> 00:39:15,629 - Might as well. - Yeah. 808 00:39:15,731 --> 00:39:16,967 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 809 00:39:17,069 --> 00:39:18,601 Bathroom's right down there on the left. 810 00:40:04,797 --> 00:40:06,232 You got this. 811 00:40:07,873 --> 00:40:09,308 So I read that the number one 812 00:40:09,410 --> 00:40:10,501 fantasy for guys... 813 00:40:10,603 --> 00:40:11,413 - Can I help you? - Hey, man. 814 00:40:11,515 --> 00:40:12,916 Yeah, I'm here for the open mic. 815 00:40:13,018 --> 00:40:14,514 Yeah, right here. Just write your name down there. 816 00:40:14,616 --> 00:40:15,484 Okay. 817 00:40:15,586 --> 00:40:16,620 You're next. 818 00:40:16,855 --> 00:40:17,992 - I'm next? - Yup, be ready. 819 00:40:18,756 --> 00:40:19,960 Fuck. 820 00:40:20,062 --> 00:40:21,058 I'm getting the light, so I gotta go. 821 00:40:21,160 --> 00:40:22,292 Oh, the light. The light. 822 00:40:22,394 --> 00:40:23,633 The light. Yeah, the light. 823 00:40:37,165 --> 00:40:38,901 Ladies and gentlemen... 824 00:40:42,273 --> 00:40:43,568 - Yo, man. What's up? - Hey. 825 00:40:43,670 --> 00:40:44,843 I was actually hoping that I could just, 826 00:40:44,946 --> 00:40:46,210 you know, watch and hang tonight? 827 00:40:46,312 --> 00:40:48,712 - Yeah. - Yeah? I got 15 bucks on me. 828 00:40:48,814 --> 00:40:51,460 Nah. Keep your 15 bucks. Get yourself something nice. 829 00:40:51,562 --> 00:40:53,196 - Go on in. - Thanks, man. 830 00:40:53,298 --> 00:40:55,792 You got it-- Just... Yeah, just finish that before you go in. 831 00:40:56,868 --> 00:40:58,263 - Finish it? - Yeah. 832 00:40:59,301 --> 00:41:01,539 - Hey. - Hey. 833 00:41:01,641 --> 00:41:02,674 - There he is. - Make yourself comfortable. 834 00:41:03,386 --> 00:41:04,777 Am I okay here? 835 00:41:04,879 --> 00:41:06,620 - Yeah. No one's sittin' here. - You're fine. 836 00:41:06,755 --> 00:41:07,849 How was your night? 837 00:41:08,385 --> 00:41:09,727 It was pretty good. 838 00:41:10,130 --> 00:41:12,929 I went and did a different open mic and... 839 00:41:15,133 --> 00:41:16,436 Yeah. 840 00:41:16,538 --> 00:41:18,010 You know, I've been doing this for 25 years. 841 00:41:18,112 --> 00:41:19,342 You know what I mean? And I love it. 842 00:41:19,444 --> 00:41:20,676 I wouldn't wanna be anywhere else. 843 00:41:20,778 --> 00:41:22,721 But what I like about you is you're so innocent. 844 00:41:22,823 --> 00:41:23,986 You're not naive, you're innocent. 845 00:41:24,088 --> 00:41:25,355 And that's why it works. 846 00:41:25,457 --> 00:41:26,854 So that's good. It comes outta your head, 847 00:41:26,956 --> 00:41:28,264 you put it on a piece of paper, and you get up there. 848 00:41:28,366 --> 00:41:30,368 It's like therapy. But, people can relate to that. 849 00:41:30,470 --> 00:41:31,464 - I don't know what it is. - You don't know anything. 850 00:41:31,566 --> 00:41:33,243 But I just do know that coming here 851 00:41:33,345 --> 00:41:35,737 - has ended up making me feel... - Yeah. It's a safe space. 852 00:41:35,839 --> 00:41:36,781 - Well, a lot better. - Yeah. 853 00:41:37,185 --> 00:41:38,683 You are good-- I mean, you're bad at stand-up, 854 00:41:38,785 --> 00:41:40,254 but you're good. 855 00:41:40,356 --> 00:41:42,787 You have a good heart. You seem like a pure... 856 00:41:42,889 --> 00:41:44,557 like I believe you that you just found this thing, 857 00:41:44,659 --> 00:41:46,729 and now you're in love with stand-up. 858 00:41:46,831 --> 00:41:49,336 Other than the fact that I'm really insulted, thank you. 859 00:41:49,438 --> 00:41:51,713 But you're bad. You're really bad. 860 00:41:51,815 --> 00:41:53,048 Okay. 861 00:41:53,151 --> 00:41:54,445 So I was waxing. It didn't hurt, right? 862 00:41:54,547 --> 00:41:56,284 And then she finished really quickly, 863 00:41:56,386 --> 00:41:57,784 like I didn't even know what happened. 864 00:41:57,886 --> 00:42:00,728 And I was like, she goes, "Your triangle's done." Okay. 865 00:42:01,198 --> 00:42:03,096 "Your triangle's done." 866 00:42:03,198 --> 00:42:04,399 What she gave me... 867 00:42:04,501 --> 00:42:06,274 Okay, wait. Can I use your napkin? 868 00:42:07,604 --> 00:42:10,445 What I was expecting was this. 869 00:42:10,547 --> 00:42:12,754 This is what, what I was expecting. Okay? 870 00:42:13,057 --> 00:42:15,818 You see this? Reasonable. Reasonable. 871 00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:18,256 What she gave me... 872 00:42:25,912 --> 00:42:27,009 ...is this. 873 00:42:27,680 --> 00:42:30,419 - It is ridi-- Look at this. - No! 874 00:42:30,521 --> 00:42:32,092 Look at what I'm showing you. 875 00:42:32,194 --> 00:42:34,998 I'm not-- This is not-- It is tiny. 876 00:42:35,101 --> 00:42:37,129 Well, I brought my drink up. Um... 877 00:42:37,765 --> 00:42:39,374 - It's okay. - Is that all right? 878 00:42:39,476 --> 00:42:41,138 Hang on. Do you guys mind? I'm gonna put this right here. 879 00:42:41,240 --> 00:42:42,675 Use it! 880 00:42:42,777 --> 00:42:45,313 You okay? I'm watching it, all right? So, don't-- 881 00:42:45,415 --> 00:42:47,184 Oh, please roofie me. 882 00:42:47,286 --> 00:42:48,553 Oh. 883 00:42:48,655 --> 00:42:50,730 Please, I'd love to get roofie'd tonight. 884 00:42:50,832 --> 00:42:52,659 Please! 885 00:42:53,196 --> 00:42:56,302 Hey, is it true that you do magic? Is that a true story? 886 00:42:56,404 --> 00:42:58,476 Yes. That is my day job. 887 00:42:58,578 --> 00:43:00,808 One of my kids, he's obsessed with-with magic. 888 00:43:00,910 --> 00:43:02,448 - Oh, no. - Yeah, his birthday's coming up, 889 00:43:02,550 --> 00:43:03,683 and his mom's doing this thing, 890 00:43:03,785 --> 00:43:05,250 and I want to kinda add something to it. 891 00:43:05,352 --> 00:43:07,558 Would you ever consider doing something like that? Is that...? 892 00:43:07,660 --> 00:43:09,296 - Uh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah? 893 00:43:09,398 --> 00:43:10,198 - I'd be down. Sure. - Okay. 894 00:43:16,711 --> 00:43:17,911 The driveway's okay? 895 00:43:20,184 --> 00:43:22,723 Okay in front of the driveway. They're not going anywhere. 896 00:43:33,049 --> 00:43:34,516 Shit doesn't even look gold. 897 00:43:36,090 --> 00:43:37,324 I should have picked the balloons. 898 00:43:41,097 --> 00:43:42,896 What? 899 00:43:43,332 --> 00:43:44,700 - Hey! - Hey. Hey. 900 00:43:44,802 --> 00:43:45,832 What are you doing out here? The door was open. 901 00:43:45,934 --> 00:43:46,533 I didn't know what the protocol was. 902 00:43:46,635 --> 00:43:47,903 What? Get in here. 903 00:43:48,006 --> 00:43:50,113 You guys all right? 904 00:43:50,216 --> 00:43:51,549 Wow. 905 00:43:51,651 --> 00:43:53,047 - It's gonna be so good. - You really went all out. 906 00:43:53,150 --> 00:43:55,426 Hey, will you help me actually put some more food out? 907 00:43:56,061 --> 00:43:57,623 Crudités in the fridge. 908 00:43:57,725 --> 00:43:59,167 - There's two of 'em. - Okay. 909 00:43:59,269 --> 00:44:01,094 I just really need the carrots 910 00:44:01,197 --> 00:44:02,802 because they have not touched one vegetable. 911 00:44:02,904 --> 00:44:06,038 Hi, buddy. Oh, hey. Hi, hi, hi. You having fun? 912 00:44:06,140 --> 00:44:07,345 - Yeah. - Yeah? How's the magician? 913 00:44:07,447 --> 00:44:08,611 - Good. - Yeah? 914 00:44:09,014 --> 00:44:11,057 Your father's sorry he couldn't make it. 915 00:44:11,160 --> 00:44:13,092 - He's on one of his walks. - Okay. 916 00:44:13,195 --> 00:44:15,829 Hey! There he is. 917 00:44:17,296 --> 00:44:18,769 Hey, Charlie doesn't like to be picked up. 918 00:44:19,668 --> 00:44:20,936 Is that his name? 919 00:44:21,038 --> 00:44:21,910 Yeah. Did you really not know Charlie's name? 920 00:44:22,012 --> 00:44:23,315 No. 921 00:44:23,418 --> 00:44:25,017 - After all this time? - Dude, you look so good. 922 00:44:25,119 --> 00:44:26,288 - For real? - Yeah, yeah. 923 00:44:26,390 --> 00:44:27,924 Is that-- You look-- Did you lose weight? 924 00:44:28,026 --> 00:44:29,294 Is that a new sweater? 925 00:44:29,396 --> 00:44:31,625 Honestly, no, I've had this sweater for... 926 00:44:31,728 --> 00:44:33,158 Well, you should keep wearing it. 927 00:44:33,262 --> 00:44:34,830 It's the guilt eating away at you, I'm sure. 928 00:44:34,932 --> 00:44:36,171 - The guilt? - Christine. 929 00:44:36,274 --> 00:44:37,237 - What? - Don't say that. 930 00:44:37,339 --> 00:44:38,875 What? 931 00:44:38,977 --> 00:44:40,708 Guilt about what? What are you talking about, Christine? 932 00:44:40,810 --> 00:44:42,077 Is that your name? 933 00:44:42,181 --> 00:44:44,018 Christine, have I done something to offend you? 934 00:44:44,120 --> 00:44:46,558 Because if I have, or like upset you or something, then I'm-- 935 00:44:46,660 --> 00:44:47,888 No, no, no. You know what? Forget it. 936 00:44:47,990 --> 00:44:49,123 I'm not going to Oyster Bay. 937 00:44:49,226 --> 00:44:50,001 Don't apologize to me. What? 938 00:44:50,103 --> 00:44:51,104 - Guys. - Why not? 939 00:44:51,207 --> 00:44:52,436 - It's a birthday party. - Because. 940 00:44:52,538 --> 00:44:53,836 Go! Run, run, run! 941 00:44:53,938 --> 00:44:55,337 Go Judey, go Judey, go Jude! 942 00:44:57,252 --> 00:44:58,946 Oh, you got my... She got my... 943 00:44:59,048 --> 00:45:00,785 You're gonna be part of this trick, okay? 944 00:45:00,887 --> 00:45:01,991 - All right. - Can all three of us do it? 945 00:45:02,093 --> 00:45:03,195 - Yeah. - Yeah, 946 00:45:03,298 --> 00:45:04,824 all three of you can do it. Okay. 947 00:45:05,193 --> 00:45:07,565 - I think I took too much. - Honey. Oh. 948 00:45:09,268 --> 00:45:11,446 I didn't... I didn't know I was holding the dog. 949 00:45:12,577 --> 00:45:14,114 Well, this is pretty good. 950 00:45:15,018 --> 00:45:17,854 I'm not the reason you're not coming to Oyster Bay, am I? 951 00:45:19,294 --> 00:45:20,525 Oh, God, no. Not at all. 952 00:45:20,627 --> 00:45:22,090 I mean, 'cause we can all go. 953 00:45:22,192 --> 00:45:23,700 It doesn't have to be awkward. Right? 954 00:45:23,802 --> 00:45:26,706 No... you mean like it is now? 955 00:45:26,808 --> 00:45:29,645 Hey, sorry that I just kinda lost it earlier. 956 00:45:29,747 --> 00:45:30,574 I felt really attacked by all those guys. 957 00:45:30,676 --> 00:45:32,379 Yeah. 958 00:45:32,481 --> 00:45:33,254 I mean, why are we even talking about Oyster Bay now at all? 959 00:45:33,356 --> 00:45:35,226 - I know. - It's so far away. 960 00:45:35,329 --> 00:45:36,627 - They're crazy. - Those guys, 961 00:45:36,729 --> 00:45:37,855 you know they're psychos when it comes to planning. 962 00:45:37,957 --> 00:45:39,929 Yes. 963 00:45:40,032 --> 00:45:42,569 All I know is we made a couple wonderful boys. 964 00:45:42,671 --> 00:45:44,104 Right? 965 00:45:44,704 --> 00:45:45,846 Yeah. 966 00:45:48,081 --> 00:45:53,361 ♪ Happy birthday, dear Jude ♪ 967 00:45:53,463 --> 00:45:58,038 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 968 00:46:47,298 --> 00:46:50,138 - You got it all over you. - I know! I-- 969 00:46:50,708 --> 00:46:52,643 You got it all over you, too. 970 00:46:53,245 --> 00:46:55,415 What does that have to do with, like, opening wine? 971 00:46:55,517 --> 00:46:56,845 - Hi. - Hi. 972 00:46:57,449 --> 00:46:58,525 Thank you so much for coming. 973 00:46:58,627 --> 00:46:59,126 Thank you so much for having me. 974 00:46:59,228 --> 00:47:00,587 You were awesome. 975 00:47:00,689 --> 00:47:01,896 - Yeah, I really appreciate it. - The kids loved it. 976 00:47:01,998 --> 00:47:02,695 - Hey, that was amazing. - Thank you. Thank you. 977 00:47:02,797 --> 00:47:03,731 Oh. My balance is off. 978 00:47:03,834 --> 00:47:04,933 - Nice to meet you. - You okay? 979 00:47:05,035 --> 00:47:05,500 - This is my buddy. - Nice to meet you. 980 00:47:05,602 --> 00:47:06,471 Balls. 981 00:47:06,573 --> 00:47:07,945 - Balls? - Yeah. 982 00:47:08,047 --> 00:47:09,510 Cool. Okay. 983 00:47:09,612 --> 00:47:10,480 Happens every time. 984 00:47:10,582 --> 00:47:11,719 Don't make my mom do that. 985 00:47:13,248 --> 00:47:15,426 - What happens every time? - Nothin'. 986 00:47:15,528 --> 00:47:16,663 Okay, what's the deal? 987 00:47:18,394 --> 00:47:19,866 You mean with why you still have that beard 988 00:47:19,968 --> 00:47:21,164 even though the play's been over for two months? 989 00:47:21,267 --> 00:47:22,868 I can't choose when the character leaves me. 990 00:47:22,970 --> 00:47:24,236 Characters, you mean. 991 00:47:24,339 --> 00:47:26,548 Actually, I feel like maybe it's providing, 992 00:47:26,650 --> 00:47:28,446 like, a new thing for casting directors, 993 00:47:28,548 --> 00:47:30,354 now that I'm working again. Thank you for coming by the way. 994 00:47:30,456 --> 00:47:31,954 Twice. I came twice. 995 00:47:32,056 --> 00:47:33,457 And you didn't even go on the second time. 996 00:47:33,559 --> 00:47:35,095 I know. 997 00:47:35,197 --> 00:47:38,735 It's because that asshole Paul said he was gonna be sick 998 00:47:38,837 --> 00:47:40,104 and then he showed up anyway. 999 00:47:40,206 --> 00:47:42,943 But I was psyched because he got St. Paul sick, 1000 00:47:43,045 --> 00:47:44,209 and I went up for two weeks straight. 1001 00:47:44,311 --> 00:47:45,883 - It was amazing. - Yeah, that's a bonus. 1002 00:47:45,985 --> 00:47:47,488 And people said that I was, like... 1003 00:47:47,590 --> 00:47:48,984 - Yeah. - ...better. 1004 00:47:49,086 --> 00:47:50,161 - Than him? - Yeah. 1005 00:47:50,263 --> 00:47:51,355 Yeah. I bet. 1006 00:47:51,458 --> 00:47:53,000 - I got recognized on the street. - Did you? 1007 00:47:53,102 --> 00:47:55,037 Somebody literally thought I was a disciple. It was great. 1008 00:47:55,139 --> 00:47:57,406 But I think maybe they were, like, a Jesus freak. But... 1009 00:47:58,042 --> 00:47:59,480 They're not a fan of the play necessarily. 1010 00:47:59,582 --> 00:48:01,214 Well, they saw the play a lot. 1011 00:48:01,316 --> 00:48:04,584 I think they saw the play almost all the two weeks that I did it. 1012 00:48:04,686 --> 00:48:06,662 So, I didn't really tell them that I was the understudy. 1013 00:48:06,764 --> 00:48:08,359 - But anyway, this is about you. - Right. 1014 00:48:08,462 --> 00:48:11,498 Don't fucking... Don't fucking change the subject. 1015 00:48:13,641 --> 00:48:14,603 Let me rephrase it. 1016 00:48:15,844 --> 00:48:17,543 What's the deal, man? 1017 00:48:18,647 --> 00:48:20,516 Yeah, I don't know what to tell you, man. There is no deal. 1018 00:48:21,126 --> 00:48:22,289 Okay. 1019 00:48:22,926 --> 00:48:24,094 You don't want to tell me her name? 1020 00:48:26,368 --> 00:48:27,166 All right. 1021 00:48:29,604 --> 00:48:30,741 If I tell you something, you promise you won't tell anybody? 1022 00:48:30,843 --> 00:48:32,308 No. Keep going. What's her name? 1023 00:48:34,276 --> 00:48:35,612 I've been doing stand-up. 1024 00:48:36,221 --> 00:48:37,356 Oh. 1025 00:48:37,459 --> 00:48:38,759 I don't know who that is. 1026 00:48:38,861 --> 00:48:40,361 That's a crazy handle. What? Is she famous? 1027 00:48:40,464 --> 00:48:41,899 No, no, no. Dude, 1028 00:48:42,001 --> 00:48:44,334 I've been doing stand-up comedy on stage downtown. 1029 00:48:44,437 --> 00:48:45,301 Okay. 1030 00:48:46,474 --> 00:48:47,673 What? 1031 00:48:47,775 --> 00:48:48,803 Is it like a hobby? 1032 00:48:50,513 --> 00:48:52,714 Well, I'm not about to quit my job and go on tour. 1033 00:48:52,816 --> 00:48:53,648 Okay. 1034 00:48:56,323 --> 00:48:58,327 Yeah. It's just, I-I mean, I love it, man. 1035 00:48:58,429 --> 00:49:01,234 It's great. I-- You know, it's actually pretty amazing. 1036 00:49:01,336 --> 00:49:04,138 And it's terrifying, but I love every aspect of it, 1037 00:49:04,240 --> 00:49:06,039 and it's something I look forward to. 1038 00:49:06,141 --> 00:49:07,279 - Fuck. - What? 1039 00:49:12,791 --> 00:49:13,556 I knew it. 1040 00:49:15,125 --> 00:49:15,901 Knew what? 1041 00:49:17,462 --> 00:49:19,667 Just like... 1042 00:49:22,711 --> 00:49:25,275 You've always been the funniest guy in the room forever, right? 1043 00:49:25,377 --> 00:49:26,780 Ever since college, 1044 00:49:26,882 --> 00:49:28,249 and now that you're actually fucking pursuing it... 1045 00:49:28,351 --> 00:49:29,519 I'm not pursing anything. 1046 00:49:29,621 --> 00:49:31,321 You're gonna kill it. It's inevitable. 1047 00:49:32,058 --> 00:49:36,936 And it kills me that I hate it so much because I-I have... 1048 00:49:37,471 --> 00:49:39,008 ...always gotten comfort 1049 00:49:39,110 --> 00:49:40,240 in knowing that you settled. 1050 00:49:40,342 --> 00:49:41,678 That you're a settler. 1051 00:49:43,315 --> 00:49:46,060 And I-I'm the guy who... 1052 00:49:47,693 --> 00:49:50,060 Even though, you know, is going for it. That's my thing. 1053 00:49:50,162 --> 00:49:51,763 Jesus, Balls. 1054 00:49:51,865 --> 00:49:53,875 I know. It's been a lot for me to carry around. 1055 00:49:53,977 --> 00:49:55,513 Just so nothing gets misconstrued, 1056 00:49:55,615 --> 00:49:56,848 I don't have a girlfriend. 1057 00:49:56,950 --> 00:49:58,585 - Oh, you do whatever you want. - I don't. 1058 00:49:58,687 --> 00:49:59,688 Look, it doesn't matter. 1059 00:49:59,790 --> 00:50:00,922 You don't have to justify yourself. 1060 00:50:01,024 --> 00:50:02,484 You're famous now, anyway. So, whatevs. 1061 00:50:02,587 --> 00:50:03,786 What are you talking about, man? 1062 00:50:03,888 --> 00:50:05,191 Look, you don't have to justify yourself. 1063 00:50:05,293 --> 00:50:06,366 Listen to me. To anybody. 1064 00:50:06,803 --> 00:50:08,302 Not to Tess, not to anybody. 1065 00:50:08,404 --> 00:50:11,044 Just like Tess doesn't have to justify herself to you. 1066 00:50:11,942 --> 00:50:12,872 Justify what? 1067 00:50:15,211 --> 00:50:16,253 Nothing. 1068 00:50:16,823 --> 00:50:19,186 - Is Tess seeing someone? - No. 1069 00:50:19,288 --> 00:50:20,421 I mean, is she open to it? 1070 00:50:20,524 --> 00:50:21,454 I wouldn't know. I don't think so. 1071 00:50:21,557 --> 00:50:23,630 But is she? Yeah. Maybe. 1072 00:50:24,597 --> 00:50:25,734 Did Christine say something? 1073 00:50:25,836 --> 00:50:26,902 Who? 1074 00:50:27,005 --> 00:50:27,902 Christine? 1075 00:50:28,877 --> 00:50:29,879 Ab-About what? 1076 00:50:29,981 --> 00:50:31,307 About Tess seeing somebody. 1077 00:50:31,409 --> 00:50:32,449 No. Did she? 1078 00:50:32,919 --> 00:50:34,156 I'm asking you. 1079 00:50:35,755 --> 00:50:37,058 - What are you-- - Well, did you hear anything? 1080 00:50:37,160 --> 00:50:38,256 What did Christine say about it? 1081 00:50:38,358 --> 00:50:39,895 What did she say? 1082 00:50:40,198 --> 00:50:41,633 Dude, I'm asking you. 1083 00:50:46,149 --> 00:50:48,547 Hey, Olga? I just put a bunch of trash there. 1084 00:50:48,649 --> 00:50:50,281 - Is there anything else? - No. All good. Thank you. 1085 00:50:50,383 --> 00:50:52,093 Good. Okay. Thank you. 1086 00:50:55,499 --> 00:50:56,332 Hey. 1087 00:50:57,972 --> 00:50:59,404 - Yeah? - Are you leaving? 1088 00:51:01,738 --> 00:51:03,181 I was just finishing cleaning up. 1089 00:51:04,609 --> 00:51:06,011 Yeah, I-I gotta go. 1090 00:51:15,134 --> 00:51:16,099 How you doing? 1091 00:51:17,843 --> 00:51:19,037 All right. 1092 00:51:21,852 --> 00:51:24,086 Oh, man. I'm Alex. 1093 00:51:24,188 --> 00:51:25,416 How's everybody feeling tonight? 1094 00:51:26,589 --> 00:51:28,596 Good. I'm feeling pretty good. 1095 00:51:29,466 --> 00:51:32,831 I, uh-- I'm recently separated from my wife. 1096 00:51:32,933 --> 00:51:35,203 No. Oh, thank you. 1097 00:51:36,845 --> 00:51:41,452 And, uh, I think that she's maybe seeing someone. 1098 00:51:41,554 --> 00:51:42,925 Yeah, I just found out the possibility 1099 00:51:43,027 --> 00:51:44,260 that she's seeing someone, 1100 00:51:44,362 --> 00:51:46,067 and I'm handling it just fine, I think. 1101 00:51:46,169 --> 00:51:48,432 Right? And, uh... 1102 00:51:48,534 --> 00:51:50,904 So I just made up a list of, uh... 1103 00:51:51,006 --> 00:51:54,108 possible worst case scenarios, which I think is really healthy. 1104 00:51:54,410 --> 00:51:55,951 Number one. 1105 00:51:56,053 --> 00:51:59,024 This guy is a radiologist. 1106 00:51:59,394 --> 00:52:03,096 Because that would mean he's knowledgeable, 1107 00:52:03,666 --> 00:52:07,400 he's noble, and he makes a ton of money. 1108 00:52:08,171 --> 00:52:11,810 Terrible. So, that's number one. Number two. He surfs. 1109 00:52:11,912 --> 00:52:13,484 Because surfing is so fucking cool, 1110 00:52:13,586 --> 00:52:16,621 and those guys seem like they're really cool, 1111 00:52:16,724 --> 00:52:18,990 and that they, like, can do anything, 1112 00:52:19,092 --> 00:52:21,634 and they drive old trucks. 1113 00:52:21,737 --> 00:52:24,303 You know, and they don't care, they never wear shoes. 1114 00:52:25,007 --> 00:52:27,979 And, uh, they never met a jar they couldn't open. 1115 00:52:28,348 --> 00:52:29,882 You know what I mean? 1116 00:52:29,984 --> 00:52:32,191 And they don't need to cut their hair, or do anything. 1117 00:52:32,293 --> 00:52:34,823 And they're always suntanned. Um... 1118 00:52:35,192 --> 00:52:37,195 And they look like they got really strong forearms, 1119 00:52:37,297 --> 00:52:38,300 you know? 1120 00:52:38,402 --> 00:52:41,033 Which is, thinking about, um, 1121 00:52:41,135 --> 00:52:43,104 someone you love, like a lady you love, 1122 00:52:43,206 --> 00:52:45,180 with a guy with really strong forearms. 1123 00:52:46,720 --> 00:52:50,793 Uh, my forearms are basically atrophied. Um... 1124 00:52:51,897 --> 00:52:54,360 No, that's not true. I actually do work out a fair bit. 1125 00:52:55,264 --> 00:52:58,509 I've got, um, what I would describe as, um, 1126 00:52:58,611 --> 00:53:00,739 and a lot of ladies would describe, as a dad bod. 1127 00:53:03,656 --> 00:53:06,890 By the way, it occurs to me that men have done a really good job 1128 00:53:06,992 --> 00:53:11,101 of convincing women that dad bods are a good thing. 1129 00:53:11,705 --> 00:53:13,971 You know? Like, we go, like, "Oh, he's got a dad bod." 1130 00:53:14,073 --> 00:53:18,281 We're like, "Okay." It's like we all got together and conspired. 1131 00:53:18,383 --> 00:53:19,786 You know what I mean? Anyway. 1132 00:53:19,888 --> 00:53:21,113 Um... 1133 00:53:21,215 --> 00:53:24,661 So, yeah, so... radiologist, surfer. 1134 00:53:26,094 --> 00:53:28,704 Nightmare if he was a surfing radiologist. 1135 00:53:30,002 --> 00:53:32,545 Because that would be... that would be... 1136 00:53:39,189 --> 00:53:42,297 It would, like-- Like, what, he's gonna pull up to my house 1137 00:53:42,399 --> 00:53:45,998 with his dumb, beautiful Porsche. 1138 00:53:46,100 --> 00:53:49,647 Um, and take her out on-- on a date? 1139 00:53:51,919 --> 00:53:52,817 I mean... 1140 00:53:54,521 --> 00:53:56,792 Jill, this is where I got stuck. 1141 00:53:57,658 --> 00:53:59,065 Keep-- Keep going? 1142 00:53:59,167 --> 00:54:00,425 Yeah, I don't... Okay. 1143 00:54:01,136 --> 00:54:02,470 This is the... 1144 00:54:02,572 --> 00:54:04,404 What did I write on my thing after...? 1145 00:54:04,506 --> 00:54:05,608 You wrote-- 1146 00:54:05,710 --> 00:54:07,841 What did I say after I take them, uh... 1147 00:54:07,943 --> 00:54:08,811 I take them on a date? 1148 00:54:08,913 --> 00:54:10,013 It's right there on the thing. 1149 00:54:10,115 --> 00:54:11,819 It says "I have small penis." 1150 00:54:11,921 --> 00:54:13,658 It does not say I have a small penis! 1151 00:54:13,761 --> 00:54:15,797 "I have a very small penis." 1152 00:54:17,499 --> 00:54:19,001 Oh, I follow them. 1153 00:54:19,103 --> 00:54:21,069 I follow them. I follow them. Thank you very much. 1154 00:54:21,172 --> 00:54:22,177 - You're welcome. - That's my friend Jill 1155 00:54:22,279 --> 00:54:24,008 who's very helpful, um... 1156 00:54:24,110 --> 00:54:25,715 By the way, if I had a small penis, 1157 00:54:25,819 --> 00:54:27,620 I wouldn't need to remind myself. 1158 00:54:27,722 --> 00:54:30,192 I feel like I would, um... 1159 00:54:30,294 --> 00:54:31,621 By the way, I don't. 1160 00:54:31,723 --> 00:54:32,755 Anyway. 1161 00:54:34,930 --> 00:54:36,464 I don't know. Uh... 1162 00:54:37,108 --> 00:54:38,138 And... 1163 00:54:38,672 --> 00:54:39,847 So, anyway... 1164 00:54:41,419 --> 00:54:43,378 I-I left you a little something. 1165 00:54:43,480 --> 00:54:46,460 Just to for you to remember to have confidence. 1166 00:54:46,562 --> 00:54:49,093 The folder is unacceptable. Bright yellow? 1167 00:54:49,195 --> 00:54:50,835 Why? This is where I keep everything organized. 1168 00:54:50,937 --> 00:54:54,506 It's just, "I'm a dad coming to--" We don't do that. 1169 00:54:54,608 --> 00:54:57,111 We have it in here, like adults. 1170 00:54:57,213 --> 00:54:59,586 I like the way that you even wrote it in uppercase 1171 00:54:59,688 --> 00:55:01,214 just to make sure that it looks like I wrote it. 1172 00:55:01,316 --> 00:55:02,591 - Like a dude wrote it. - Yeah, yeah. 1173 00:55:02,693 --> 00:55:05,362 I embossed it. I matched your handwriting. 1174 00:55:05,464 --> 00:55:07,937 It's untraceable. To me. 1175 00:55:09,708 --> 00:55:12,377 I think we should fuck. I think we should fuck. 1176 00:55:12,479 --> 00:55:13,877 - You and me? - Yeah. 1177 00:55:13,979 --> 00:55:15,710 Is that crazy? I think we should fuck. 1178 00:55:15,812 --> 00:55:16,953 Is that crazy? 1179 00:55:17,256 --> 00:55:18,658 We're gonna fuck. 1180 00:55:48,515 --> 00:55:49,687 Are you a nurse? 1181 00:55:50,487 --> 00:55:52,049 No, I'm a comedian. 1182 00:55:52,151 --> 00:55:53,425 Are you a fucking nurse? 1183 00:55:53,527 --> 00:55:54,763 Don't let my cat out. 1184 00:56:14,170 --> 00:56:15,494 Jill? 1185 00:56:15,596 --> 00:56:17,975 And don't answer my buzzer. 1186 00:56:26,090 --> 00:56:28,526 I understand it now, so I'm good. 1187 00:56:28,628 --> 00:56:29,931 Same. 1188 00:56:30,033 --> 00:56:30,762 No, you don't understand it now, dude. 1189 00:56:30,864 --> 00:56:32,334 Yes, I do, anyways. 1190 00:56:32,436 --> 00:56:34,433 You guys gonna crush this "Under Pressure" thing or what? 1191 00:56:34,535 --> 00:56:36,312 - Gonna crush it. - You're screwing me up. 1192 00:56:36,414 --> 00:56:37,714 - Dad? - Yeah? 1193 00:56:37,816 --> 00:56:40,118 - Are you sad? - No. Why, do I look sad? 1194 00:56:44,225 --> 00:56:47,266 Hey! No, hey, hey. What the fuck, guys? 1195 00:56:47,368 --> 00:56:48,662 Sorry. 1196 00:56:49,805 --> 00:56:52,445 Guys, where'd you find this? 1197 00:56:52,548 --> 00:56:53,446 - By your bed. - By your bed. 1198 00:56:53,548 --> 00:56:55,083 Like where the stand is. 1199 00:56:55,185 --> 00:56:57,479 Okay. You're not supposed to touch other people's stuff. 1200 00:56:57,581 --> 00:56:59,155 But it was like, right on your side table. 1201 00:56:59,257 --> 00:57:01,187 - I know, I know, I know. - It's right where I sleep. 1202 00:57:01,289 --> 00:57:02,456 I know, but when peop-- 1203 00:57:02,558 --> 00:57:03,634 It was right next to where we sleep. 1204 00:57:03,736 --> 00:57:05,132 I know, but when people leave stuff-- 1205 00:57:05,234 --> 00:57:06,969 When it's other people's personal property 1206 00:57:07,071 --> 00:57:08,476 that's obviously their property, 1207 00:57:08,578 --> 00:57:10,010 you don't touch it, okay? 1208 00:57:10,112 --> 00:57:11,674 Like, that's just like a rule in life. 1209 00:57:11,776 --> 00:57:13,113 Yeah, but it's weird. Like, really weird. 1210 00:57:13,215 --> 00:57:15,014 Okay, I know. But it's just... 1211 00:57:15,617 --> 00:57:17,929 It's just a joke book, okay? 1212 00:57:18,925 --> 00:57:20,225 Jokes? 1213 00:57:20,660 --> 00:57:23,369 No, more like... just maybe... 1214 00:57:24,778 --> 00:57:26,139 jokes that I've been thinking about. 1215 00:57:26,242 --> 00:57:27,980 You know, like, like made up... 1216 00:57:28,082 --> 00:57:29,480 - funny stories. - They aren't funny, Dad. 1217 00:57:29,582 --> 00:57:32,192 You write about so much stuff, like... radio-ologist. 1218 00:57:32,294 --> 00:57:33,521 And surfer. 1219 00:57:35,693 --> 00:57:39,402 - What's a radio-ologist? - And talk about us and Mom. 1220 00:57:40,306 --> 00:57:42,545 I know, I know, but you guys-- you guys are real. 1221 00:57:42,647 --> 00:57:44,081 And me and your mom are real. 1222 00:57:44,183 --> 00:57:47,051 And the radiologist is made up. He's a kind of doctor. 1223 00:57:47,153 --> 00:57:49,092 And the surfer... The surfer's made up. 1224 00:57:49,194 --> 00:57:51,590 Those are just characters, okay? And-- and it's like, I'm... 1225 00:57:54,101 --> 00:57:57,335 It's like I'm making up stories, you know, 1226 00:57:57,437 --> 00:57:59,705 because a lot of stuff is changing. 1227 00:57:59,807 --> 00:58:02,542 Right? And it's-- and it's kind of a way to process it all. 1228 00:58:02,644 --> 00:58:04,319 - Do you know what I mean? - Mm-hmm. 1229 00:58:04,421 --> 00:58:07,523 Oh, no. Come on. Come on, come on. Hey, hey. 1230 00:58:08,665 --> 00:58:10,260 Hey, listen. Hey, hey. 1231 00:58:10,362 --> 00:58:11,900 No, listen, none of it's real. 1232 00:58:12,004 --> 00:58:13,873 That's all made-up stuff, okay? 1233 00:58:13,975 --> 00:58:15,877 Come on. Come on. It's just made up. 1234 00:58:15,979 --> 00:58:19,147 None of it's real life, really. Okay? 1235 00:58:19,583 --> 00:58:21,585 You know how sometimes you use your imagination... 1236 00:58:22,589 --> 00:58:25,856 to make up stories, you know? And games and stuff? 1237 00:58:26,667 --> 00:58:27,695 It's like that. 1238 00:58:29,138 --> 00:58:31,333 It's like the grown-up version of that. 1239 00:58:31,435 --> 00:58:32,837 And I'm-- I'm just-- 1240 00:58:36,152 --> 00:58:38,057 I don't know what I'm doing. 1241 00:58:39,992 --> 00:58:41,158 But you can ask me anything 1242 00:58:41,260 --> 00:58:42,565 and I'll tell you the truth, okay? 1243 00:58:42,667 --> 00:58:44,998 Okay, but it's weird, Dad. 1244 00:58:45,101 --> 00:58:47,240 I know. Life's weird. 1245 00:58:58,065 --> 00:59:00,158 - Hey, Kemp. - Hey. I got a set for you. 1246 00:59:00,260 --> 00:59:01,467 O-Okay. 1247 00:59:01,769 --> 00:59:03,305 It's so weird. 1248 00:59:03,407 --> 00:59:05,873 - Like an open mic thing? - No, no, no, guest spot. 1249 00:59:06,110 --> 00:59:07,414 - Really? - Yep. 1250 00:59:07,517 --> 00:59:09,041 Wow. Okay. 1251 00:59:10,186 --> 00:59:12,420 - When? Is... - Tonight, 8:00. 1252 00:59:12,522 --> 00:59:14,386 - Tonight, as in today, tonight? - Yeah. 1253 00:59:15,858 --> 00:59:17,331 No, I don't know. I don't know if I can-- 1254 00:59:17,434 --> 00:59:19,635 I don't know if I can really step-- step away. 1255 00:59:20,439 --> 00:59:22,176 No, no. Wait. Sorry. Sorry. 1256 00:59:22,278 --> 00:59:23,538 No, no, no. Wait. I'll do it. I'll do it. 1257 00:59:23,640 --> 00:59:24,347 Fuck it. I'll do it. I'll do it. 1258 00:59:26,249 --> 00:59:27,416 - Hey. Hey. - Hey. 1259 00:59:27,518 --> 00:59:29,024 What's going on? Is everything okay? 1260 00:59:29,128 --> 00:59:30,021 Yeah, everything's great. Everything's great. 1261 00:59:30,124 --> 00:59:31,459 Everything's good. 1262 00:59:31,561 --> 00:59:32,896 - Are the boys okay? - Yeah, the boys are great. 1263 00:59:32,998 --> 00:59:34,266 Hey, listen, do you mind 1264 00:59:34,369 --> 00:59:35,797 if I drop them off here for a couple hours? 1265 00:59:35,899 --> 00:59:37,909 - I know it's last minute, but-- - What the fuck? 1266 00:59:38,011 --> 00:59:39,443 No, no, I-- Listen, Tess, please-- 1267 00:59:39,545 --> 00:59:41,909 Listen, don't ambush me like this in front of the boys 1268 00:59:42,011 --> 00:59:44,355 as though they can't come home whenever they want. 1269 00:59:44,457 --> 00:59:47,419 Like I'm trying to keep them from being inside? 1270 00:59:47,521 --> 00:59:49,529 Come on. That sucks. 1271 00:59:50,231 --> 00:59:51,863 - Look-- - You suck. 1272 00:59:53,334 --> 00:59:54,641 You suck! 1273 00:59:55,311 --> 00:59:56,912 - What the fuck? - Hey, where are you going? 1274 00:59:57,014 --> 00:59:58,679 You know, I got it covered. 1275 00:59:58,781 --> 01:00:00,383 - No, where are you going? - No, no, forget it. Forget it. 1276 01:00:00,485 --> 01:00:01,449 - Hey, Lucy! No! - Yeah. Good. 1277 01:00:01,551 --> 01:00:02,784 Let's go, Charlie, let's go! 1278 01:00:02,886 --> 01:00:04,719 - No, Charlie, stay! - No, I got 'em all. 1279 01:00:04,821 --> 01:00:05,897 - What? - I got it covered. 1280 01:00:05,999 --> 01:00:07,133 You don't even have leashes. 1281 01:00:07,235 --> 01:00:09,334 No, it's okay. I got my own leashes. 1282 01:00:09,436 --> 01:00:11,474 I got lots of leashes. 1283 01:00:13,913 --> 01:00:15,149 Okay. 1284 01:00:15,251 --> 01:00:17,179 - Hi, Grandma! - Puppy dogs! 1285 01:00:18,249 --> 01:00:21,092 - Hi, darlin's. - I'm sorry. Sorry about this. 1286 01:00:21,196 --> 01:00:22,494 I know it's last minute. Come on. 1287 01:00:22,597 --> 01:00:24,993 Please. I'm so happy that you thought of us. 1288 01:00:25,095 --> 01:00:27,063 Are you kidding? Who else would we think of? 1289 01:00:27,167 --> 01:00:29,369 - Please do not feed the dogs. - Hi, Grandpa. 1290 01:00:29,471 --> 01:00:30,641 Okay. 1291 01:00:30,743 --> 01:00:33,080 - Hey, Dad. Hi. Hey. - Hey, son. Hi. 1292 01:00:33,183 --> 01:00:34,483 No, no, no. 1293 01:00:34,585 --> 01:00:36,083 - I can't stay for dinner. - What? 1294 01:00:36,186 --> 01:00:38,086 - I gotta go back to the city. - Well, yes, you can. 1295 01:00:38,189 --> 01:00:41,599 It's not good to run around on an empty stomach. 1296 01:00:41,701 --> 01:00:44,205 Read between the lines, Marilyn. He's got a hot date. 1297 01:00:44,307 --> 01:00:45,938 - Dad, don't-- - Hot date? 1298 01:00:46,040 --> 01:00:47,982 - You can stay for a quick bite. - Dad has a hot date? 1299 01:00:48,084 --> 01:00:49,484 No, I can't stay for a quick bite. 1300 01:00:49,586 --> 01:00:51,221 - I gotta get back to the city. - Do you have any Jell-O? 1301 01:00:51,323 --> 01:00:53,522 I told you-- No, no, no. I have to go-- 1302 01:00:53,624 --> 01:00:55,392 If you must know, I gotta get changed 1303 01:00:55,495 --> 01:00:56,856 and I'm going to a comedy club. 1304 01:00:56,958 --> 01:00:58,761 What? Well, you can go later. 1305 01:00:58,864 --> 01:01:00,370 You know, you want to go later, 1306 01:01:00,472 --> 01:01:02,044 because they usually put the guys 1307 01:01:02,146 --> 01:01:03,478 who ain't so funny at the beginning, 1308 01:01:03,580 --> 01:01:05,415 and then... so the pros look better later on. 1309 01:01:05,518 --> 01:01:08,218 No, I can't-- I can't be late because I'm... 1310 01:01:08,720 --> 01:01:10,658 - I'm one of the guys going up. - What? 1311 01:01:11,824 --> 01:01:13,334 I've been doing open mic nights. 1312 01:01:13,436 --> 01:01:15,368 - What's an open mic? - I just-- And, they-- 1313 01:01:15,470 --> 01:01:16,535 I just got a call that one of the comics 1314 01:01:16,637 --> 01:01:18,199 who's emceeing at the club tonight, 1315 01:01:18,302 --> 01:01:20,379 they agreed to give me ten minutes on stage. 1316 01:01:20,482 --> 01:01:21,707 I'm one of the acts. One of the comedy acts. 1317 01:01:21,809 --> 01:01:23,410 - You? - Yeah, me. 1318 01:01:23,512 --> 01:01:27,593 Well-- so, I don't know-- What do you do, you tell jokes? 1319 01:01:28,264 --> 01:01:30,266 I mean, sort of. Well, kind of... 1320 01:01:30,368 --> 01:01:31,995 more like funny stories about my life. 1321 01:01:32,097 --> 01:01:33,569 - Oh, honey. - What's funny about your life? 1322 01:01:33,671 --> 01:01:35,174 I had no idea your life was so bad. 1323 01:01:35,277 --> 01:01:36,943 No, no, no, it's not so bad. 1324 01:01:37,045 --> 01:01:39,176 - This is why she threw you out! - What's funny about your life? 1325 01:01:39,279 --> 01:01:41,486 - She threw you out? - Nobody threw me out, guys. 1326 01:01:41,588 --> 01:01:43,821 No, I love her. Mom, what are you doing? 1327 01:01:43,923 --> 01:01:45,530 Nobody threw me out. Nobody threw me out. 1328 01:01:45,632 --> 01:01:46,861 - I left by mutual consent. - She threw you out? 1329 01:01:46,963 --> 01:01:49,372 No. Everybody knows that. I left by mutual consent. 1330 01:01:49,474 --> 01:01:52,166 And, by the way, I'm not in a bad place. I'm happy. 1331 01:01:52,269 --> 01:01:54,883 And doing this, it makes me feel good. 1332 01:01:55,386 --> 01:01:58,653 - You know? It helps. - How? How does it help 1333 01:01:58,755 --> 01:02:01,493 to have a roomful of people laughing at you? 1334 01:02:01,595 --> 01:02:03,023 - They're not laughing at me. - Son. Son. 1335 01:02:03,125 --> 01:02:04,700 And it's not bad to have them laugh. 1336 01:02:04,802 --> 01:02:07,206 Son, you know what this is? This is a mid-life crisis. 1337 01:02:07,309 --> 01:02:08,674 - That's what it is. - Oh, Dad... 1338 01:02:08,776 --> 01:02:11,346 So, why you... Just go get yourself a motorcycle. 1339 01:02:11,449 --> 01:02:12,878 I don't know. A leather jacket. 1340 01:02:12,980 --> 01:02:14,079 No. Dad, listen. I love you very much. 1341 01:02:14,181 --> 01:02:15,688 - I love you all. Love you guys. - Come on. 1342 01:02:15,790 --> 01:02:17,385 I will see you in the morning. Thank you so much. 1343 01:02:17,487 --> 01:02:19,296 Remember to pick us up on your new motorcycle! 1344 01:02:19,398 --> 01:02:20,925 Nobody's getting a motorcycle. 1345 01:02:21,027 --> 01:02:24,172 No, it is definitely not a date. 1346 01:02:24,676 --> 01:02:28,314 Because he has a wife, and he's had children. 1347 01:02:28,417 --> 01:02:30,245 They've been together for ages. 1348 01:02:30,882 --> 01:02:33,087 Yes, yes. Always just friends. 1349 01:02:33,724 --> 01:02:34,989 He called because he heard that 1350 01:02:35,091 --> 01:02:36,731 I was putting out feelers about coaching. 1351 01:02:54,100 --> 01:02:55,097 Okay. 1352 01:03:01,748 --> 01:03:03,946 - Hey. I'm meeting... - Hi, welcome. 1353 01:03:04,048 --> 01:03:06,020 I see him right there. Thank you. 1354 01:03:10,862 --> 01:03:12,902 Excuse me. Hey. 1355 01:03:13,702 --> 01:03:14,837 How you doing? 1356 01:03:14,939 --> 01:03:16,211 "We're gonna need that hand, Roche!" 1357 01:03:16,315 --> 01:03:19,076 Stop. 1358 01:03:19,178 --> 01:03:21,750 I used to slam the floor so fucking hard 1359 01:03:21,852 --> 01:03:23,723 and pretend it didn't hurt. 1360 01:03:23,825 --> 01:03:25,760 Look, that's what made you a champion. 1361 01:03:25,862 --> 01:03:28,229 Your singular focus, your dedication. 1362 01:03:29,299 --> 01:03:31,966 That's why I heard you wanted to get into coaching, 1363 01:03:32,068 --> 01:03:33,244 I had to reach out. 1364 01:03:33,347 --> 01:03:34,877 It's very flattering. 1365 01:03:34,979 --> 01:03:36,584 I was really excited you reached out. 1366 01:03:36,686 --> 01:03:38,850 Half the US Women's volleyball team 1367 01:03:38,952 --> 01:03:41,219 has come out of our program. 1368 01:03:41,322 --> 01:03:43,365 And the truth is, I've been missing it 1369 01:03:43,468 --> 01:03:45,495 every single day since I retired. 1370 01:03:46,039 --> 01:03:47,598 I just... 1371 01:03:47,700 --> 01:03:50,577 Yeah, I knew coaching would be a great way back in. 1372 01:03:50,880 --> 01:03:52,680 I guess part of me didn't want to accept 1373 01:03:52,783 --> 01:03:54,488 that I wasn't a player anymore. 1374 01:03:54,891 --> 01:03:57,360 You know, so much of my identity was wrapped up in it and... 1375 01:03:57,462 --> 01:03:59,529 I get that. But I'm telling you, 1376 01:03:59,632 --> 01:04:02,127 coaching fills that void for you. 1377 01:04:02,229 --> 01:04:03,905 It forces you to shift gears. 1378 01:04:04,007 --> 01:04:06,508 You stop using the phrase, "Hey, back when I played..." 1379 01:04:06,610 --> 01:04:07,678 Right. 1380 01:04:07,780 --> 01:04:10,516 You learn to make everyone better 1381 01:04:10,985 --> 01:04:13,290 without comparing them to yourself. 1382 01:04:13,393 --> 01:04:15,295 Right. Amazing. 1383 01:04:15,398 --> 01:04:17,127 Is-- Is it frustrating? 1384 01:04:17,229 --> 01:04:20,139 - Yes! Absolutely frustrating. - Oh. Okay. 1385 01:04:20,241 --> 01:04:21,409 That's just a given. 1386 01:04:21,511 --> 01:04:23,140 I think it'll always be that way. 1387 01:04:23,242 --> 01:04:26,345 But for me, I can't tell you how gratifying it is 1388 01:04:26,448 --> 01:04:30,686 to be part of a sport as it evolves, despite not playing. 1389 01:04:31,289 --> 01:04:33,028 - Wow. - That's what does it for me. 1390 01:04:33,130 --> 01:04:35,900 The best part, my three daughters, they love it. 1391 01:04:36,002 --> 01:04:38,234 They actually think their dad is cool. 1392 01:04:38,336 --> 01:04:41,147 Hey, how's Tracy? What a beast she was. 1393 01:04:41,249 --> 01:04:42,374 She's good. 1394 01:04:42,477 --> 01:04:44,784 She's, uh, in Salt Lake, doing her thing. 1395 01:04:44,886 --> 01:04:46,487 Oh, yeah. Is she skiing or...? 1396 01:04:46,589 --> 01:04:47,520 Polygamy. 1397 01:04:50,232 --> 01:04:51,826 Oh! 1398 01:04:51,928 --> 01:04:53,703 Yeah, look. It threw us for a loop. Don't get me wrong. 1399 01:04:53,805 --> 01:04:56,270 But... it's all worked out. 1400 01:04:56,507 --> 01:04:59,511 - I-I didn't know you'd split. - Seven years now. 1401 01:05:00,147 --> 01:05:01,919 I have to admit, being single 1402 01:05:02,021 --> 01:05:03,893 in your mid-to-late-forties is, uh... 1403 01:05:04,829 --> 01:05:06,692 What's the word here? Interesting? 1404 01:05:07,866 --> 01:05:09,467 - Okay? - Is that the word? 1405 01:05:09,569 --> 01:05:10,533 But... 1406 01:05:12,171 --> 01:05:14,313 I'd be lost without coaching. 1407 01:05:14,416 --> 01:05:15,774 It-- It saved me. 1408 01:05:17,017 --> 01:05:18,752 So... All right. Enough about me. 1409 01:05:18,854 --> 01:05:20,283 Alex. How's he doing? 1410 01:05:20,385 --> 01:05:22,155 - Two boys, right? - Two boys. 1411 01:05:22,258 --> 01:05:24,166 - How are they? - They are great. 1412 01:05:24,636 --> 01:05:26,871 Well, adjusting, 'cause, uh, 1413 01:05:26,973 --> 01:05:28,670 Alex and I decided to take a little break. 1414 01:05:28,772 --> 01:05:30,143 Oh, no. 1415 01:05:30,946 --> 01:05:32,578 I'm sorry. I hadn't heard that. 1416 01:05:32,947 --> 01:05:34,581 Yeah. No, it's... 1417 01:05:35,657 --> 01:05:37,554 Wait, it's not a break. 1418 01:05:38,498 --> 01:05:40,394 We split. He moved out. 1419 01:05:41,902 --> 01:05:43,667 - Wow. - Uh, it's over. Yeah. 1420 01:05:43,770 --> 01:05:45,272 Wow. Okay. 1421 01:05:45,875 --> 01:05:46,946 Yeah, it's actually good. 1422 01:05:48,243 --> 01:05:50,214 I gotta admit, I'm shocked. 1423 01:05:50,316 --> 01:05:52,584 You two just seemed like a perfect fit to me. 1424 01:05:53,957 --> 01:05:57,058 Yeah. Me too, but, um... 1425 01:06:00,673 --> 01:06:01,910 I guess we just... 1426 01:06:04,343 --> 01:06:06,209 ...slowly grew away from each other. 1427 01:06:06,311 --> 01:06:07,448 If that makes any sense. 1428 01:06:08,082 --> 01:06:09,056 I get that. 1429 01:06:10,219 --> 01:06:11,456 Jeez, Tess, I'm... 1430 01:06:12,896 --> 01:06:14,190 I'm glad I reached out. 1431 01:06:19,940 --> 01:06:20,910 Yeah. 1432 01:06:21,012 --> 01:06:23,514 Are you tired? 'Cause I'm not. 1433 01:06:24,150 --> 01:06:25,757 I'm not tired. Absolutely not. 1434 01:06:25,859 --> 01:06:26,989 My buddy says there's a great place 1435 01:06:27,091 --> 01:06:28,452 right around the corner, actually. 1436 01:06:28,555 --> 01:06:31,902 Oh. Amazing. I'm gonna just... 1437 01:06:32,004 --> 01:06:33,203 - Yeah. Okay. - ...use the restroom and... 1438 01:06:33,870 --> 01:06:34,767 Be right back. 1439 01:06:50,308 --> 01:06:51,107 Yeah. 1440 01:06:52,005 --> 01:06:53,543 Fuck it. 1441 01:06:55,852 --> 01:06:57,218 - All right. Following you. - Okay. 1442 01:06:58,854 --> 01:07:00,223 Sounds fun. 1443 01:07:00,325 --> 01:07:02,122 No, I'm not gonna do it, but... 1444 01:07:02,224 --> 01:07:03,465 Absolutely not. 1445 01:07:08,670 --> 01:07:10,009 - They letting you go up tonight? - Yeah. 1446 01:07:10,111 --> 01:07:11,477 We'll see. I'm a little bit late. 1447 01:07:12,710 --> 01:07:14,015 - Fuck. Cutting it close. - Sorry. 1448 01:07:14,117 --> 01:07:15,952 I got held up. I'm sorry. 1449 01:07:17,658 --> 01:07:18,828 I was starting to think you were bailing on me. 1450 01:07:18,930 --> 01:07:20,261 What? No, no, no. No. 1451 01:07:20,363 --> 01:07:21,525 - Whatever, I just-- - You want a drink? 1452 01:07:21,629 --> 01:07:22,835 - No, no, no. I'm good. - Okay. 1453 01:07:22,937 --> 01:07:24,606 Oh, my God, I need a beer. 1454 01:07:26,877 --> 01:07:28,146 Big night. 1455 01:07:28,248 --> 01:07:29,778 - Big night tonight. - Oh, my God. 1456 01:07:29,880 --> 01:07:31,955 - You're gonna kill it. - I know, I know. 1457 01:07:32,057 --> 01:07:33,854 Then we'll see. I'll meet you up here. 1458 01:07:34,557 --> 01:07:35,960 I'll meet you back here when we're done. 1459 01:07:42,939 --> 01:07:46,113 ♪ I needed to know where The river came out, come on ♪ 1460 01:07:46,616 --> 01:07:48,520 Uh, Sam Jay has the light. You have two minutes. 1461 01:07:48,623 --> 01:07:49,686 Okay. 1462 01:07:51,158 --> 01:07:52,422 You're gonna be great. 1463 01:08:07,826 --> 01:08:10,424 We can't just fuck and make a kid. We can't do that. 1464 01:08:10,761 --> 01:08:12,060 So it's like, how we gonna do it? 1465 01:08:12,162 --> 01:08:14,033 Someone's gotta go buy nut and I'm not buying nut. 1466 01:08:15,608 --> 01:08:16,811 I'm not. I'm not goin' to the nut store, 1467 01:08:16,913 --> 01:08:18,014 ask nobody for no nut. 1468 01:08:18,116 --> 01:08:19,443 And she got upset when I told her that. 1469 01:08:19,545 --> 01:08:21,220 She's, like, "You're an asshole. 1470 01:08:21,322 --> 01:08:23,556 We don't just have to buy a nut. We can just adopt." 1471 01:08:23,659 --> 01:08:25,062 I'm like, "All right." Now we're going to the baby store 1472 01:08:25,164 --> 01:08:27,331 and buying a whole one, so... 1473 01:08:27,433 --> 01:08:29,427 Hey, my name's been Sam Jay. Thank you so much. 1474 01:08:33,042 --> 01:08:34,809 Yeah! 1475 01:08:36,217 --> 01:08:37,613 You guys, give it up for Sam Jay! 1476 01:08:37,716 --> 01:08:39,284 I hope there's somebody else. 1477 01:08:39,754 --> 01:08:41,823 - She was great. - She was great. 1478 01:08:43,033 --> 01:08:44,357 - This is so fun. - It's cool, right? 1479 01:08:44,459 --> 01:08:45,829 Love it. 1480 01:08:45,931 --> 01:08:46,495 Next comedian coming to the stage... 1481 01:08:46,597 --> 01:08:47,667 I'm glad we're here. 1482 01:08:47,769 --> 01:08:49,068 ...first time on this show. 1483 01:08:49,170 --> 01:08:51,245 Yeah, so I need you guys to give him a lot of energy. 1484 01:08:51,347 --> 01:08:52,908 Start clapping, make a lot of noise... 1485 01:08:53,010 --> 01:08:54,217 All right. Somebody else coming. 1486 01:08:54,319 --> 01:08:56,886 ...and give it up for Alex Novak! 1487 01:09:00,394 --> 01:09:01,591 How you doing? 1488 01:09:03,866 --> 01:09:06,504 Oh! How you guys doing tonight? 1489 01:09:06,606 --> 01:09:08,543 Yeah! Give it up for our host. 1490 01:09:08,646 --> 01:09:10,145 - Wait. - He's doing great, huh? 1491 01:09:10,581 --> 01:09:12,518 What the fuck is happening? 1492 01:09:12,620 --> 01:09:13,852 Give it up for me. I'm doing great! 1493 01:09:13,954 --> 01:09:15,694 I can promise you, I did not know... 1494 01:09:15,863 --> 01:09:17,022 I don't-- 1495 01:09:17,124 --> 01:09:17,801 My personal life's in the shitter... 1496 01:09:17,903 --> 01:09:19,366 - Does he do--? - No! 1497 01:09:19,803 --> 01:09:22,034 Yeah, I mean, I'm paying rent on a shitty apartment 1498 01:09:22,136 --> 01:09:24,908 and mortgage on a house I don't live in anymore. 1499 01:09:25,010 --> 01:09:27,285 You know? It's fine. And one of my teeth hurts. 1500 01:09:27,387 --> 01:09:29,749 And I don't even know where my dentist is. 1501 01:09:29,851 --> 01:09:31,689 My ex used to handle all that. 1502 01:09:31,791 --> 01:09:34,290 But other than that, you know... Hey... 1503 01:09:35,227 --> 01:09:37,139 I had sex with a woman. 1504 01:09:37,241 --> 01:09:39,502 Yeah, so like I said, I'm doing great. 1505 01:09:41,442 --> 01:09:42,616 Yeah. 1506 01:09:44,380 --> 01:09:47,485 I never thought I'd get applause for having sex with a woman. 1507 01:09:48,055 --> 01:09:50,459 Like, "You finally did it!" 1508 01:09:50,561 --> 01:09:51,869 Yeah! 1509 01:09:52,538 --> 01:09:56,635 Uh, yeah. No, I had sex with a... with a woman, um... 1510 01:09:57,339 --> 01:09:59,774 after, you know, being married for a number of years. 1511 01:09:59,876 --> 01:10:01,785 And... and it was... 1512 01:10:02,784 --> 01:10:04,055 ...scary. 1513 01:10:04,157 --> 01:10:05,393 Yeah. 1514 01:10:05,495 --> 01:10:07,931 But at least I was not very good at it. 1515 01:10:10,102 --> 01:10:13,876 I think that after-- I think after 20 years of marriage, 1516 01:10:13,978 --> 01:10:17,418 you know, you just get used to doing things a certain way. 1517 01:10:17,521 --> 01:10:19,421 You know what I mean? Like, sex with your wi-- 1518 01:10:19,523 --> 01:10:21,327 It's-- It's fine. It was great with my-- 1519 01:10:21,430 --> 01:10:23,863 It's like, you know when you go to an Airbnb, 1520 01:10:23,965 --> 01:10:27,437 and you go into the kitchen, and it kind of looks the same, like, 1521 01:10:27,539 --> 01:10:29,475 but it's just a little bit different? 1522 01:10:29,578 --> 01:10:32,314 Like, certain spoons are in different drawers? 1523 01:10:32,416 --> 01:10:33,879 So you're kind of looking around, 1524 01:10:33,981 --> 01:10:35,552 you're opening stuff up, and you're like-- 1525 01:10:35,654 --> 01:10:37,517 And I was doing that on a human body. 1526 01:10:39,126 --> 01:10:41,896 I don't know, I feel like sex now has really changed 1527 01:10:41,999 --> 01:10:46,071 since back when I was out there in the game 20-- 1528 01:10:46,173 --> 01:10:48,113 I never cheated on my wife, so this is the first-- 1529 01:10:48,215 --> 01:10:49,779 And it feels like now... 1530 01:10:49,881 --> 01:10:50,913 Are you sure you don't want to leave? 1531 01:10:51,015 --> 01:10:51,913 ...there are so many noises 1532 01:10:52,015 --> 01:10:53,415 - that she was making. - No. 1533 01:10:53,517 --> 01:10:54,624 - ...so animalistic. - I don't want to go anywhere. 1534 01:10:54,727 --> 01:10:56,463 And it just felt like two apes fucking. 1535 01:10:56,565 --> 01:10:58,631 Obviously, apes do not make love, right? 1536 01:10:58,733 --> 01:11:00,801 Nobody imagines that apes are like this, 1537 01:11:00,903 --> 01:11:02,541 staring in each other's eyes, saying, 1538 01:11:02,644 --> 01:11:05,708 "I love you. And let's come at the same time." 1539 01:11:05,811 --> 01:11:07,585 Apes don't do that shit. 1540 01:11:07,687 --> 01:11:10,788 Apes are doing it, fucking, you know, dog-style. 1541 01:11:10,890 --> 01:11:13,296 Or ape-style. Whatever the fuck it is. 1542 01:11:13,398 --> 01:11:15,963 I don't know. 1543 01:11:16,065 --> 01:11:17,802 I gotta tell you, the whole experience, 1544 01:11:17,904 --> 01:11:19,673 to be honest, made me miss my wife. 1545 01:11:19,775 --> 01:11:21,475 It really did. Yeah. 1546 01:11:21,978 --> 01:11:25,622 Which was, um, surprising because... 1547 01:11:26,489 --> 01:11:27,718 we had a lot of fights. 1548 01:11:27,821 --> 01:11:30,298 Listen... And, um... 1549 01:11:30,868 --> 01:11:33,871 And I actually kind of ended up missing some of our fights, too. 1550 01:11:34,640 --> 01:11:37,008 Yeah, they were... Our fights were... 1551 01:11:37,277 --> 01:11:38,342 Uh... 1552 01:11:38,912 --> 01:11:40,884 ...psychological? 1553 01:11:40,986 --> 01:11:42,590 Do you know what I mean? Do you know what I mean by that? 1554 01:11:43,990 --> 01:11:46,496 All the dudes know what I mean. 1555 01:11:46,598 --> 01:11:48,291 They're like, "Yeah. Every interaction 1556 01:11:48,393 --> 01:11:50,905 is a fucking psychological minefield." 1557 01:11:51,708 --> 01:11:53,441 You know when your wife or your partner 1558 01:11:53,543 --> 01:11:55,239 gets really, really quiet, 1559 01:11:55,341 --> 01:11:57,980 and now you gotta guess what's wrong? 1560 01:11:58,316 --> 01:12:02,195 So, you have to ask a blanket, like, question. 1561 01:12:02,297 --> 01:12:03,731 Keep it really gener-- 1562 01:12:03,834 --> 01:12:06,966 I remember one time, my ex-wife and I were driving, 1563 01:12:07,068 --> 01:12:08,499 coming home from a friend's place. 1564 01:12:09,475 --> 01:12:11,946 And she is so quiet. 1565 01:12:12,945 --> 01:12:14,616 She's so quiet, like... 1566 01:12:14,719 --> 01:12:16,319 Do you remember Jacob's Ladder? 1567 01:12:17,558 --> 01:12:19,224 It was like that. Right? 1568 01:12:19,326 --> 01:12:21,725 I'm sort of dating myself a little bit, but it was... 1569 01:12:21,827 --> 01:12:24,831 It was like I was questioning my own existence on the planet, 1570 01:12:24,934 --> 01:12:26,002 it was so quiet. 1571 01:12:26,105 --> 01:12:28,338 Just the two of us, in the car, 1572 01:12:28,440 --> 01:12:32,151 and I'm so scared of what she's gonna say. 1573 01:12:32,786 --> 01:12:34,622 So I just go... 1574 01:12:34,724 --> 01:12:36,093 I muster up the courage. 1575 01:12:38,293 --> 01:12:39,662 "Honey, are you mad at me?" 1576 01:12:42,204 --> 01:12:43,635 And she looks at me and she goes, 1577 01:12:43,737 --> 01:12:47,983 "You know, sometimes I just wish that you'd talk to me 1578 01:12:48,085 --> 01:12:50,125 the same way that you talk to your friends." 1579 01:12:51,890 --> 01:12:53,226 And I go, "Okay." 1580 01:12:56,672 --> 01:12:58,571 "Dude, my wife is driving me crazy." 1581 01:13:01,814 --> 01:13:03,276 Awesome. You guys have been so great. 1582 01:13:03,378 --> 01:13:05,446 Thanks so much. I've been Alex Novak. 1583 01:13:05,548 --> 01:13:06,915 All right, guys, thanks so much. Good night. 1584 01:13:07,017 --> 01:13:08,220 Let's go. 1585 01:13:11,968 --> 01:13:14,672 You guys, give it up for Alex Novak! 1586 01:13:14,774 --> 01:13:17,169 Oh, my God! Alex, that was fantastic! 1587 01:13:17,271 --> 01:13:18,912 Yes! You were so good! 1588 01:13:19,014 --> 01:13:20,242 Hey, can I get some water, please? 1589 01:13:20,344 --> 01:13:21,819 Absolutely, man. Yeah. 1590 01:13:21,922 --> 01:13:23,581 - Yeah. - This is Laird. Sorry. 1591 01:13:23,683 --> 01:13:25,353 I'm Nina. Nice to meet you. Good to see you. 1592 01:13:25,455 --> 01:13:26,861 Good to-- Yeah, we're gonna... 1593 01:13:26,964 --> 01:13:28,762 Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I get it. 1594 01:13:29,199 --> 01:13:30,597 - It's a lot. - All right. 1595 01:13:30,699 --> 01:13:31,803 You guys ready for this next comedian? Say, "Hell yeah." 1596 01:13:31,905 --> 01:13:33,740 Hell yeah! 1597 01:13:33,842 --> 01:13:35,177 Start clapping right now. 1598 01:13:35,279 --> 01:13:40,181 Give it up right now for the legend, Mr. Dave Attell! 1599 01:13:43,157 --> 01:13:45,032 Wow! What a night! 1600 01:13:45,134 --> 01:13:47,166 - Hey! How was it? - It was so good. 1601 01:13:47,268 --> 01:13:48,700 - Was it good? - I'm so proud of you. 1602 01:13:48,802 --> 01:13:50,406 - I just opened for Dave Attell! - You ballsy motherfucker. 1603 01:13:50,508 --> 01:13:52,440 Yeah, you just did that set in front of your wife. 1604 01:13:52,542 --> 01:13:54,113 - I respect that. - What are you mean? 1605 01:13:54,215 --> 01:13:55,513 Tess is here with Laird. The tall-- 1606 01:13:55,615 --> 01:13:57,021 What do you mean, Tess? Tess is here now? 1607 01:13:57,123 --> 01:13:58,188 What are you talking about? Where? 1608 01:13:58,290 --> 01:13:58,889 Yeah, just saw them. They went outside. 1609 01:13:58,992 --> 01:13:59,993 Did you not invite them? 1610 01:14:00,095 --> 01:14:00,759 No, I didn't fucking invite them! 1611 01:14:00,861 --> 01:14:02,130 Jesus Christ. 1612 01:14:05,505 --> 01:14:08,010 - Holy shit. Okay. - 'Cause I said so. 1613 01:14:08,112 --> 01:14:10,650 - Take it easy there, bruh. - Whoa! 1614 01:14:10,752 --> 01:14:12,613 - What? - You found a sitter? 1615 01:14:12,882 --> 01:14:14,790 No, I got them working at the falafel place right here. 1616 01:14:14,892 --> 01:14:16,020 They're at your folks' place? 1617 01:14:16,122 --> 01:14:16,965 Yeah. 1618 01:14:18,298 --> 01:14:20,397 - What the fuck are you--? - What the fuck? 1619 01:14:20,499 --> 01:14:22,003 What the fuck, me? What the fuck are--? 1620 01:14:22,105 --> 01:14:23,570 You've been moving on, huh? 1621 01:14:23,672 --> 01:14:25,944 Me, moving on? You show up with fucking Laird? 1622 01:14:26,047 --> 01:14:27,312 Who I just said goodbye to. 1623 01:14:27,414 --> 01:14:28,278 Okay, but Laird, of all fucking people. 1624 01:14:28,380 --> 01:14:29,315 What the fuck do you care? 1625 01:14:29,417 --> 01:14:30,081 How long have you been fucking him? 1626 01:14:30,184 --> 01:14:31,051 For years. 1627 01:14:31,153 --> 01:14:32,259 - No. - No. 1628 01:14:32,528 --> 01:14:34,131 Oh, fuck. 1629 01:14:34,733 --> 01:14:36,332 How long you been doing... 1630 01:14:36,434 --> 01:14:37,835 - stand-up comedy? - No, I only did that one time. 1631 01:14:37,937 --> 01:14:39,738 - Jesus Christ. - Oh. 1632 01:14:40,141 --> 01:14:41,475 Mmm. 1633 01:14:44,511 --> 01:14:45,516 Sorry, I thought you... 1634 01:14:46,993 --> 01:14:48,621 Yeah, stand-up I've been doing for a while. 1635 01:14:51,201 --> 01:14:52,802 So I'm the only one who doesn't know you do this? 1636 01:14:52,904 --> 01:14:54,435 Actually, tonight was kind of a big night. 1637 01:14:56,044 --> 01:14:58,806 I mean, it's obviously bigger now that... 1638 01:15:00,578 --> 01:15:02,350 I usually only do open mic nights, 1639 01:15:02,452 --> 01:15:03,717 and they're, like, half the crowd, and... 1640 01:15:05,028 --> 01:15:06,126 I don't know why I never told you. 1641 01:15:06,228 --> 01:15:07,623 I haven't even really told myself 1642 01:15:07,725 --> 01:15:08,925 that it's becoming a thing, you know? 1643 01:15:11,738 --> 01:15:12,867 It's hot. 1644 01:15:14,414 --> 01:15:15,246 Really? 1645 01:15:17,686 --> 01:15:18,978 Give me a drag. 1646 01:15:32,242 --> 01:15:33,744 Mmm. 1647 01:15:37,127 --> 01:15:38,718 Hey, will you pass me my smokes? 1648 01:15:38,820 --> 01:15:39,594 I think they're on the table there. 1649 01:15:41,434 --> 01:15:43,228 If you hit the light. The button's right on the... 1650 01:15:43,330 --> 01:15:44,570 You got it. 1651 01:15:45,274 --> 01:15:46,542 I think the lighter's there too, right? 1652 01:15:46,644 --> 01:15:47,542 Yeah. 1653 01:15:47,744 --> 01:15:48,609 Thanks. 1654 01:15:56,229 --> 01:15:57,825 What's with all the smoking? 1655 01:15:59,268 --> 01:16:01,267 I feel like we're in our twenties again. 1656 01:16:01,369 --> 01:16:03,243 Mmm. 1657 01:16:04,678 --> 01:16:05,841 Mmm. 1658 01:16:09,923 --> 01:16:11,686 I'm just, you know... 1659 01:16:11,788 --> 01:16:13,962 allowing myself the grace to... 1660 01:16:14,064 --> 01:16:16,401 - Marilyn? - Yeah. 1661 01:16:18,867 --> 01:16:20,904 Let's talk about Marilyn. 1662 01:16:22,113 --> 01:16:23,580 Sorry. 1663 01:16:26,926 --> 01:16:30,858 What the absolute fuck? 1664 01:16:31,998 --> 01:16:33,733 Oh, my God. 1665 01:16:33,835 --> 01:16:36,201 Look, I think we're just gracing the shit out of each other. 1666 01:16:36,670 --> 01:16:38,544 Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry... 1667 01:16:39,276 --> 01:16:40,611 Sorry. 1668 01:16:40,713 --> 01:16:43,082 I promise I won't bring my mom up again. 1669 01:16:44,851 --> 01:16:47,298 No, it's hot. No. 1670 01:16:50,903 --> 01:16:51,801 Oh. 1671 01:16:52,939 --> 01:16:54,136 Hey. 1672 01:16:57,985 --> 01:16:59,713 What about the boys? 1673 01:16:59,815 --> 01:17:01,524 Like, we can't tell anybody. 1674 01:17:03,296 --> 01:17:05,059 - No. No, of course. - Right? 1675 01:17:05,529 --> 01:17:07,062 We can't confuse them. 1676 01:17:07,999 --> 01:17:11,037 'Cause, I mean, yeah. This is confusing. 1677 01:17:12,077 --> 01:17:13,314 Yeah. No. 1678 01:17:13,416 --> 01:17:15,420 Of course. Yeah, it is. It is confusing. 1679 01:17:18,554 --> 01:17:19,791 I'm sleeping over. 1680 01:17:21,065 --> 01:17:22,734 - Okay. Yeah. - Yeah. 1681 01:17:23,304 --> 01:17:25,368 Uh, there's, like, boxers and T-shirts 1682 01:17:25,470 --> 01:17:26,710 in that top drawer there. 1683 01:17:26,812 --> 01:17:28,005 - Here? - Yeah. 1684 01:17:29,015 --> 01:17:30,650 I feel shaky. 1685 01:17:32,416 --> 01:17:33,317 Fuck. 1686 01:17:43,807 --> 01:17:45,909 I can't believe you fucked somebody! 1687 01:17:56,301 --> 01:17:58,506 Oh, my God. 1688 01:18:00,843 --> 01:18:04,111 Did you fuck her right here? In front of our armoire? 1689 01:18:04,214 --> 01:18:07,383 Come on. I never would have done it in front of our armoire. 1690 01:18:08,187 --> 01:18:10,329 Do-- Do you know how sick and twisted that'd be 1691 01:18:10,431 --> 01:18:12,265 if I did it in front of the armoire? 1692 01:18:19,875 --> 01:18:21,513 That was fucking insane. 1693 01:18:21,615 --> 01:18:23,148 That was fucking insane. 1694 01:18:24,320 --> 01:18:25,318 Mmm. 1695 01:18:27,759 --> 01:18:29,193 You kept looking at me. 1696 01:18:31,534 --> 01:18:32,838 I always do. 1697 01:18:34,547 --> 01:18:36,615 Have you upped your parenting since we split? 1698 01:18:37,481 --> 01:18:39,119 Out of necessity. 1699 01:18:39,522 --> 01:18:41,625 Well, yeah, that. But, I mean, like... 1700 01:18:42,856 --> 01:18:44,224 Do you find that you'll, like... 1701 01:18:45,763 --> 01:18:47,163 Do you find that you'll, like... 1702 01:18:48,802 --> 01:18:50,172 I don't know. You'll-- You'll... 1703 01:18:50,809 --> 01:18:53,408 get off your phone if the boys are around, 1704 01:18:53,510 --> 01:18:58,053 thinking that maybe they'll see you on it less than me? 1705 01:18:59,195 --> 01:19:00,892 Just, like, you know-- 1706 01:19:00,994 --> 01:19:03,093 being more attentive to be better than me? 1707 01:19:03,195 --> 01:19:06,775 To, like... to beat me at parenting? 1708 01:19:07,345 --> 01:19:08,943 Yeah. But I always do that. 1709 01:19:10,343 --> 01:19:12,116 Yeah, but, I mean, isn't that ridiculous? 1710 01:19:12,218 --> 01:19:13,318 Yeah. 1711 01:19:13,620 --> 01:19:14,988 But I always want to win. 1712 01:19:16,264 --> 01:19:18,963 Yeah, of course. 1713 01:19:25,950 --> 01:19:26,814 Fuck. 1714 01:19:29,655 --> 01:19:30,923 Yeah. I knew you'd say that. 1715 01:19:32,320 --> 01:19:34,599 Unbelievable. The passive aggressive. 1716 01:19:35,668 --> 01:19:38,237 My mom said that she didn't want to, uh, 1717 01:19:38,340 --> 01:19:41,040 meddle in-in my marriage. 1718 01:19:42,582 --> 01:19:44,476 Which is exactly what meddlers say... 1719 01:19:45,720 --> 01:19:47,317 before they meddle in your marriage. 1720 01:19:48,656 --> 01:19:51,126 Uh... My kids, um... 1721 01:19:52,370 --> 01:19:54,166 My kids though, I know... 1722 01:19:54,268 --> 01:19:57,169 They'd probably be happy to know that we're together. You know? 1723 01:19:57,271 --> 01:19:58,806 I mean, I think this would make them... 1724 01:19:58,908 --> 01:20:00,949 But we cannot tell 'em. 1725 01:20:01,051 --> 01:20:05,353 Because what if the wheels come off this particular bus? 1726 01:20:07,123 --> 01:20:08,491 That's what I'm worried about. 1727 01:20:09,528 --> 01:20:14,404 But until then, I'm just enjoying this wild ride... 1728 01:20:15,642 --> 01:20:16,650 of... 1729 01:20:19,248 --> 01:20:22,662 ...having an affair with my ex-wife. 1730 01:20:24,567 --> 01:20:26,031 Hey, man, just came down on my break. 1731 01:20:26,133 --> 01:20:28,374 I wanted to watch your act. It's good. Getting better. 1732 01:20:28,676 --> 01:20:30,437 - Come on. One more time! - Thanks, man. 1733 01:20:30,640 --> 01:20:31,442 Excuse me. 1734 01:20:31,544 --> 01:20:33,476 Well, well, well. 1735 01:20:33,578 --> 01:20:36,382 I heard you crushed the other night with some new material. 1736 01:20:38,056 --> 01:20:39,321 You smoked my weed and you owe me money. 1737 01:20:39,424 --> 01:20:41,331 Just gonna go out on a limb and say I think-- 1738 01:20:41,434 --> 01:20:42,867 Novak, let me get it straight. 1739 01:20:42,969 --> 01:20:46,142 So, your main is your side and your side is the main. 1740 01:20:46,244 --> 01:20:47,167 The new main. 1741 01:20:47,269 --> 01:20:48,202 - The new main. - Yeah. 1742 01:20:48,304 --> 01:20:49,439 That's like going to Popeyes 1743 01:20:49,541 --> 01:20:50,616 and gettin' chicken and chicken on the side. 1744 01:20:50,718 --> 01:20:53,015 "Let me get wings with a side of wings." 1745 01:20:53,318 --> 01:20:55,553 My grandma used to say gettin' back with a ex 1746 01:20:55,655 --> 01:20:57,591 is like taking a shit and trying to put it back in your asshole. 1747 01:20:59,031 --> 01:21:00,667 - Fuck you guys. - Just let go! 1748 01:21:00,769 --> 01:21:01,803 Fuck you too, Novak! 1749 01:21:01,905 --> 01:21:03,436 Hey, love you, young Novak. 1750 01:21:05,076 --> 01:21:07,044 Yeah. Here we go! Ready? Cover, cover! 1751 01:21:07,146 --> 01:21:09,049 Wait, you aced five. 1752 01:21:09,151 --> 01:21:11,149 I mean, she could not pass the float serve. 1753 01:21:11,251 --> 01:21:12,660 And our hitter was on fire, too. 1754 01:21:12,762 --> 01:21:14,392 Well, you had that great last swing. 1755 01:21:22,744 --> 01:21:24,015 You're nuts! 1756 01:21:27,219 --> 01:21:28,860 - What are you doing? - What? 1757 01:21:31,198 --> 01:21:33,868 You drove all this way from the city just to drive me home? 1758 01:21:33,971 --> 01:21:35,841 It's a 47-minute drive. It's not a big deal. 1759 01:21:39,415 --> 01:21:40,510 This is scary. 1760 01:21:41,420 --> 01:21:42,987 But fuck, it's fun. 1761 01:21:44,788 --> 01:21:45,685 Yeah. 1762 01:21:49,738 --> 01:21:50,802 - Is that Mom? - Is that Mom? 1763 01:21:50,904 --> 01:21:52,737 - Yeah. - Whoa! That's cool. 1764 01:21:52,839 --> 01:21:53,738 What do you think? 1765 01:21:53,840 --> 01:21:54,776 Pretty cool. 1766 01:21:54,878 --> 01:21:55,771 That's really cool, yeah. 1767 01:21:59,450 --> 01:22:00,848 Is that when she was in the Olympics? 1768 01:22:00,950 --> 01:22:03,227 Yeah. What do you think? It's pretty awesome right? 1769 01:22:03,664 --> 01:22:04,459 - Yeah. - Hi, Mom. 1770 01:22:24,504 --> 01:22:25,908 Oh, shit. 1771 01:22:27,278 --> 01:22:28,411 Shit. 1772 01:22:30,710 --> 01:22:32,785 Just like every year. There he is. 1773 01:22:32,887 --> 01:22:35,826 Oh! 1774 01:22:35,928 --> 01:22:37,926 I thought you guys didn't make it. 1775 01:22:38,028 --> 01:22:39,601 I was looking at all the-- 1776 01:22:39,704 --> 01:22:41,666 - Hey, buddy. - Hey, hey, hey! 1777 01:22:41,768 --> 01:22:45,240 Somebody actually fell asleep on my shoulder while I was there. 1778 01:22:45,342 --> 01:22:46,815 - Hey. - Hey. Can I give you a hand? 1779 01:22:46,917 --> 01:22:48,209 No, man, I got these. They're light. 1780 01:22:48,311 --> 01:22:49,613 How are you? 1781 01:22:49,716 --> 01:22:50,917 - I'm good. How are you doing? - Great. 1782 01:22:52,855 --> 01:22:54,993 - You like my 'stache? - Yeah. What's with the look? 1783 01:22:55,095 --> 01:22:56,770 The look? I've got a... 1784 01:22:56,872 --> 01:22:59,673 I got a fourth callback of a ranch hand 1785 01:22:59,775 --> 01:23:01,271 in a western TV series. 1786 01:23:01,373 --> 01:23:02,573 - What? No! - Good. 1787 01:23:02,676 --> 01:23:03,883 - Yeah. - It's a strong 'stache. 1788 01:23:03,986 --> 01:23:05,886 - Yeah, yeah. I'm just grateful. - Nice. 1789 01:23:05,988 --> 01:23:07,148 - Here. - Thanks, man. 1790 01:23:07,250 --> 01:23:08,223 Shotgun! 1791 01:23:10,622 --> 01:23:11,932 Yeah, I know where it is. 1792 01:23:12,035 --> 01:23:14,136 - Yeah. Yeah. - Jesus. Wow. 1793 01:23:14,238 --> 01:23:15,634 I'm just excited. What do you want me to say? 1794 01:23:15,736 --> 01:23:16,743 - Yeah, all right. - Wow, thrilling. 1795 01:23:16,845 --> 01:23:18,474 What do you know? 1796 01:23:19,173 --> 01:23:20,082 Jesus. 1797 01:23:23,790 --> 01:23:24,586 Where's she at? 1798 01:23:26,028 --> 01:23:27,631 Hey! Welcome to Oyster Bay! 1799 01:23:27,733 --> 01:23:29,334 - Hey! - Whoo! 1800 01:23:30,935 --> 01:23:32,071 My God. 1801 01:23:32,173 --> 01:23:33,404 I can't believe it's been a year already. 1802 01:23:33,506 --> 01:23:34,970 - I know. - Did that Hopkins thing. 1803 01:23:35,072 --> 01:23:36,076 - You've been working hard. - Learn it 250 times. 1804 01:23:36,179 --> 01:23:37,709 You're in the attic, of course. 1805 01:23:37,812 --> 01:23:39,086 - Great. - I'm so happy to be back here. 1806 01:23:39,188 --> 01:23:41,052 Geoffrey, Stephen, you guys are in the primary. 1807 01:23:41,154 --> 01:23:42,728 Game night tonight still? 1808 01:23:42,830 --> 01:23:44,062 - Are we still doing that? - Yeah. 1809 01:23:44,164 --> 01:23:45,626 - For sure. - What are we playing? 1810 01:23:45,728 --> 01:23:47,169 Alex, you want something to drink? 1811 01:23:47,271 --> 01:23:48,872 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Same thing we play every year. 1812 01:23:49,408 --> 01:23:51,238 - Why don't we play... - Same thing we... 1813 01:23:51,340 --> 01:23:52,440 Why don't we do Bananagrams? 1814 01:23:52,543 --> 01:23:53,842 - I got all the-- - What? 1815 01:23:53,944 --> 01:23:55,118 - What did you say? - Are you unhappy wi-- 1816 01:23:55,220 --> 01:23:56,487 Whoa, whoa, whoa. We know what game we're playing. 1817 01:23:58,294 --> 01:23:59,491 I'm just saying, why don't we start with Bananagrams? 1818 01:23:59,594 --> 01:24:00,721 No! 1819 01:24:00,823 --> 01:24:01,999 Why would we change it? 1820 01:24:02,101 --> 01:24:03,366 What are you talking about? 1821 01:24:03,468 --> 01:24:04,603 It's the best game in the-- It's why we come here. 1822 01:24:04,705 --> 01:24:05,564 Okay. 1823 01:24:05,666 --> 01:24:06,802 Hey, hey, hey... 1824 01:24:17,362 --> 01:24:18,991 Hey guys, wait, don't start without me. 1825 01:24:23,535 --> 01:24:25,011 Come on, y'all. 1826 01:24:25,113 --> 01:24:26,806 None of this fighting shit. Come on. 1827 01:24:26,908 --> 01:24:28,685 Fun weekend. Let's go. Come on, honey. 1828 01:24:28,787 --> 01:24:29,920 - Yeah. - Okay. 1829 01:24:30,023 --> 01:24:31,419 - Remember what I said. - I know. 1830 01:24:31,521 --> 01:24:33,060 - Jesus. - Did they start without us? 1831 01:24:33,162 --> 01:24:34,890 - No. I told them not to. - Okay. 1832 01:24:34,992 --> 01:24:36,425 - Yeah, so, it's our time to ask. - All right. 1833 01:24:36,527 --> 01:24:37,526 Obviously I meant... 1834 01:24:37,629 --> 01:24:38,730 Are you sure? Okay. 1835 01:24:38,832 --> 01:24:40,135 Look, I have four left. 1836 01:24:40,237 --> 01:24:41,538 Well, you think. 1837 01:24:41,641 --> 01:24:42,910 Wait, wait. I can't see. I can't see. 1838 01:24:43,412 --> 01:24:45,611 I-- Ho-- Whoa, whoa, whoa. 1839 01:24:45,714 --> 01:24:47,585 - Mm-mmm. - Hold on. 1840 01:24:47,688 --> 01:24:48,925 God, I'd love to know what this process is. 1841 01:24:49,027 --> 01:24:51,564 Second floor-- I know! Gosh! 1842 01:24:51,667 --> 01:24:53,697 I know. What? 1843 01:24:53,799 --> 01:24:56,106 - Does this person-- - Guys, we gotta get serious now. 1844 01:24:56,208 --> 01:24:58,238 Does your person hold on to library books 1845 01:24:58,340 --> 01:24:59,270 past their due date? 1846 01:24:59,372 --> 01:25:00,743 Yes! 1847 01:25:00,846 --> 01:25:02,386 - That's a good one! - Yes, yes. 1848 01:25:02,488 --> 01:25:03,447 - No, no, no. No. - No. That's a librarian. 1849 01:25:03,549 --> 01:25:04,618 - Yeah. - Keep her up. 1850 01:25:04,720 --> 01:25:05,551 - No. - You know, every year, 1851 01:25:05,654 --> 01:25:07,063 - this does not end well. - No. 1852 01:25:07,165 --> 01:25:08,723 - No. Does not keep it past the-- - These two. 1853 01:25:08,825 --> 01:25:09,933 This person does not. 1854 01:25:10,035 --> 01:25:11,300 No. It's this person does. 1855 01:25:11,402 --> 01:25:12,468 It's this person, it's this person. 1856 01:25:12,570 --> 01:25:13,401 Okay, we're ready to make a guess. 1857 01:25:13,503 --> 01:25:14,501 Okay. Is your person... 1858 01:25:14,603 --> 01:25:15,478 - ...Joan? - Joan. 1859 01:25:15,748 --> 01:25:18,282 Joan! Oh my God! 1860 01:25:18,384 --> 01:25:20,353 Yes! Yeah! 1861 01:25:20,455 --> 01:25:22,324 How good was that! 1862 01:25:22,426 --> 01:25:23,626 How good was that! 1863 01:25:26,527 --> 01:25:27,336 Hey. 1864 01:25:29,638 --> 01:25:30,904 - Hey, man. - What are you doing? 1865 01:25:32,707 --> 01:25:34,108 Just having a smoke. 1866 01:25:36,748 --> 01:25:38,457 - Sit with you? - Yeah. 1867 01:25:41,558 --> 01:25:42,664 Starting to rain. 1868 01:25:49,445 --> 01:25:50,676 Not gonna ask me what I was doing 1869 01:25:50,778 --> 01:25:52,251 coming out of the fucking darkness? 1870 01:25:52,353 --> 01:25:55,051 Sorry, man. What were you doing? 1871 01:25:59,232 --> 01:26:00,865 I just want to say... 1872 01:26:02,205 --> 01:26:03,573 I gotta hand it to you. 1873 01:26:05,181 --> 01:26:07,449 - You do? - Yeah. You look happy. 1874 01:26:09,851 --> 01:26:13,120 Happier than you've been in a... long time. 1875 01:26:15,900 --> 01:26:16,996 Okay. 1876 01:26:17,833 --> 01:26:19,607 If anything, you're an inspiration. 1877 01:26:20,511 --> 01:26:22,371 I mean, you're proof positive that it's never too late 1878 01:26:22,473 --> 01:26:24,748 for a man of a certain age to turn his life around, you know? 1879 01:26:25,613 --> 01:26:26,686 Make a fresh start. 1880 01:26:27,322 --> 01:26:29,857 Find out who you really are. 1881 01:26:31,901 --> 01:26:32,833 Thank you, man. 1882 01:26:32,935 --> 01:26:34,437 Right. 1883 01:26:34,539 --> 01:26:36,841 Which is why I'm gonna ask Christine for a divorce. 1884 01:26:36,943 --> 01:26:37,974 What? 1885 01:26:38,076 --> 01:26:39,106 Yeah. 1886 01:26:39,541 --> 01:26:40,946 No. I hear ya. 1887 01:26:41,716 --> 01:26:43,455 I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna take control. 1888 01:26:44,259 --> 01:26:46,092 No, what are you talking about, man? 1889 01:26:46,295 --> 01:26:47,592 I just told you. You inspired me. 1890 01:26:47,694 --> 01:26:49,096 No, no, no. I didn't inspire you... 1891 01:26:49,198 --> 01:26:50,403 Yeah. You did. 1892 01:26:53,773 --> 01:26:55,337 I've been unhappy for such a long time. 1893 01:26:55,439 --> 01:26:57,115 I was just too chicken-shit to ever do anything about it. 1894 01:26:57,217 --> 01:26:58,479 No. Don't do this, man. 1895 01:26:58,581 --> 01:26:59,421 - Don't do it. - Why not? 1896 01:27:00,388 --> 01:27:01,587 Our son's going to college. 1897 01:27:01,689 --> 01:27:04,587 If I get this job, it shoots in Texas. 1898 01:27:05,524 --> 01:27:07,369 I've never auditioned for anything outside the city 1899 01:27:07,471 --> 01:27:09,103 'cause I never wanted to be away from Jay. 1900 01:27:09,205 --> 01:27:10,300 That's over. 1901 01:27:11,937 --> 01:27:13,477 I want to be happy. 1902 01:27:13,914 --> 01:27:15,586 Okay, that's fine. But that doesn't mean that you-- 1903 01:27:15,688 --> 01:27:18,152 - Don't you want me to be happy? - No, of course I do, man. 1904 01:27:18,455 --> 01:27:19,858 Look... 1905 01:27:21,862 --> 01:27:23,502 Give me one good reason why I shouldn't. 1906 01:27:30,779 --> 01:27:33,379 'Stache feels right. Feels good. 1907 01:27:39,931 --> 01:27:43,036 - Sorry. Kinda small, right? - Hmm. 1908 01:27:47,151 --> 01:27:48,478 You need more blankets? 1909 01:27:48,981 --> 01:27:50,220 - No. I think I'm-- - Are you sure? 1910 01:27:50,322 --> 01:27:51,687 This one's kinda old. 1911 01:27:51,790 --> 01:27:53,690 No, they seem, they seem okay. That's-- 1912 01:27:53,793 --> 01:27:54,996 - Okay. Any more pillows? - I'm good. 1913 01:27:55,098 --> 01:27:56,296 Anything? 1914 01:27:56,665 --> 01:27:58,132 No, this is great. Thank you. 1915 01:27:58,234 --> 01:28:00,609 Sorry. I know it's not the biggest couch in the world. 1916 01:28:01,378 --> 01:28:02,944 It's gonna be fine. Thank you. 1917 01:28:04,043 --> 01:28:05,245 You want to know my secret? 1918 01:28:08,091 --> 01:28:08,989 Do I? 1919 01:28:09,324 --> 01:28:10,156 Yeah. 1920 01:28:11,662 --> 01:28:13,734 The real reason I despise you. 1921 01:28:16,141 --> 01:28:17,170 Yeah, I guess. 1922 01:28:19,581 --> 01:28:21,277 It's because you remind me of myself. 1923 01:28:23,387 --> 01:28:25,087 Surprise. 1924 01:28:26,486 --> 01:28:29,128 And watching you wither away all these years 1925 01:28:29,230 --> 01:28:32,435 just keeps reminding me of how hot you used to be. 1926 01:28:32,537 --> 01:28:34,142 How funny you were. 1927 01:28:34,244 --> 01:28:35,470 Just, magnetic. 1928 01:28:38,345 --> 01:28:40,051 I was even attracted to you back in the day. 1929 01:28:40,153 --> 01:28:42,121 And I'm not hitting on you, I'm just making a point. 1930 01:28:43,829 --> 01:28:45,730 Watching you disappear in front of my eyes 1931 01:28:45,833 --> 01:28:49,939 has just been this fucking reminder to me. 1932 01:28:51,976 --> 01:28:53,440 That marriage doesn't fucking work. 1933 01:28:55,510 --> 01:28:57,052 I mean, it didn't work for my parents. 1934 01:28:58,251 --> 01:29:00,624 I literally watched it kill them. 1935 01:29:00,726 --> 01:29:02,027 And then it killed you. 1936 01:29:02,129 --> 01:29:04,330 And now it's doing the same thing to me. 1937 01:29:06,738 --> 01:29:10,273 And I wake up every day, 1938 01:29:10,375 --> 01:29:13,645 and the first thing I feel is anger. 1939 01:29:15,385 --> 01:29:17,730 I'm just fucking angry all the time. 1940 01:29:19,260 --> 01:29:21,163 So, yes, when I see you, I see me. 1941 01:29:21,265 --> 01:29:23,203 And I just fucking lash out, you know? 1942 01:29:26,011 --> 01:29:27,640 I'll deny we ever had this conversation. 1943 01:29:29,154 --> 01:29:29,986 Okay. 1944 01:29:31,987 --> 01:29:33,361 But I'm glad we talked. 1945 01:29:33,463 --> 01:29:34,963 It's like we needed it, maybe? 1946 01:29:36,864 --> 01:29:38,299 Yeah. Get some sleep. 1947 01:30:24,729 --> 01:30:29,205 ♪ Amazing grace ♪ 1948 01:30:29,307 --> 01:30:30,673 Morning. 1949 01:30:31,210 --> 01:30:35,919 ♪ How sweet the sound ♪ 1950 01:30:38,285 --> 01:30:43,694 ♪ That saved a wretch ♪ 1951 01:30:44,130 --> 01:30:48,472 ♪ Like me ♪ 1952 01:30:49,241 --> 01:30:54,814 ♪ I once was lost ♪ 1953 01:30:55,418 --> 01:31:00,964 ♪ But now am found ♪ 1954 01:31:01,066 --> 01:31:03,639 ♪ Was blind ♪ 1955 01:31:03,741 --> 01:31:09,414 ♪ But now I see ♪ 1956 01:31:09,516 --> 01:31:12,382 Ooh. 1957 01:31:12,484 --> 01:31:17,999 ♪ Amazing grace ♪ 1958 01:31:18,101 --> 01:31:23,477 ♪ How sweet the sound ♪ 1959 01:31:24,014 --> 01:31:29,459 ♪ That saved a wretch ♪ 1960 01:31:29,561 --> 01:31:33,727 ♪ Like me ♪ 1961 01:31:35,598 --> 01:31:36,563 How'd you sleep? 1962 01:31:36,666 --> 01:31:38,209 - Amazing. - Yeah? 1963 01:31:39,772 --> 01:31:41,608 - Really good. - Did you? 1964 01:31:41,710 --> 01:31:43,551 - The couch is good. - Is it? 1965 01:31:45,692 --> 01:31:47,057 I got it. 1966 01:31:47,259 --> 01:31:52,404 ♪ Was blind, but now... ♪ 1967 01:31:53,910 --> 01:31:55,045 - Yeah. - You know? 1968 01:31:56,082 --> 01:31:59,812 I know it's been a difficult time for... some. 1969 01:32:00,457 --> 01:32:01,750 A lot of change. 1970 01:32:02,692 --> 01:32:04,321 But that's okay. 1971 01:32:04,857 --> 01:32:08,061 Um... You know, I read a line in a book once. 1972 01:32:08,764 --> 01:32:10,333 I don't remember exactly how it goes, 1973 01:32:10,435 --> 01:32:11,735 but it was something like, 1974 01:32:11,838 --> 01:32:15,283 "People change. But love always stays the same." 1975 01:32:16,752 --> 01:32:17,918 Anybody? 1976 01:32:18,788 --> 01:32:22,429 Mmm. Yeah, I don't see how that relates exactly, but okay. 1977 01:32:22,531 --> 01:32:24,595 - No. I loved it. I loved it. - It's really nice. 1978 01:32:24,697 --> 01:32:25,605 - I think it's nice. - Actually, 1979 01:32:25,707 --> 01:32:27,235 since you brought it up. 1980 01:32:27,771 --> 01:32:30,276 I have my own toast that I would like to make 1981 01:32:30,378 --> 01:32:31,615 to a very special friend of mine. 1982 01:32:31,717 --> 01:32:32,619 Oh, thank you. 1983 01:32:32,721 --> 01:32:33,983 - Her name is Tess. - Oh. 1984 01:32:34,086 --> 01:32:35,585 Um, as you all know, 1985 01:32:35,688 --> 01:32:37,593 she recently returned to her life's passion. 1986 01:32:37,696 --> 01:32:38,931 Mmm. Okay. 1987 01:32:39,033 --> 01:32:40,361 And even though she's only been at it 1988 01:32:40,463 --> 01:32:42,000 for a short period of time... 1989 01:32:42,103 --> 01:32:43,199 What, like a few months? 1990 01:32:43,301 --> 01:32:44,342 Yeah, but-- 1991 01:32:44,777 --> 01:32:46,807 No, this is amazing. 1992 01:32:46,909 --> 01:32:50,380 She has already been asked to be the assistant coach 1993 01:32:50,482 --> 01:32:52,923 for the US Women's Team, 1994 01:32:53,025 --> 01:32:54,922 - LA '28! - What? 1995 01:32:55,024 --> 01:32:56,967 - What? Oh my God! - No decisions, guys. 1996 01:32:57,069 --> 01:32:58,067 No. It's just... 1997 01:32:58,170 --> 01:32:59,403 - You! Get up here! - No. 1998 01:32:59,505 --> 01:33:01,136 - Yes, please. - Come here. Oh, my God. 1999 01:33:01,238 --> 01:33:02,205 That is so... 2000 01:33:04,911 --> 01:33:08,321 Okay. So, it was not supposed to go down like that. 2001 01:33:08,423 --> 01:33:09,255 Don't worry about it. It's totally fine. 2002 01:33:09,357 --> 01:33:10,422 I'm really sorry she announced it. 2003 01:33:10,524 --> 01:33:11,796 She happened to be at the house. 2004 01:33:11,898 --> 01:33:12,895 It's okay. It's great. 2005 01:33:12,997 --> 01:33:14,134 It's great news! 2006 01:33:14,236 --> 01:33:15,067 It's just such a big deal to tell you. 2007 01:33:15,171 --> 01:33:16,537 - I know. - But it is a big deal. 2008 01:33:16,639 --> 01:33:17,809 - It's big-- a huge deal. - Right? That they asked me. 2009 01:33:17,911 --> 01:33:19,177 That's so-- You deserve it, too. 2010 01:33:19,279 --> 01:33:20,948 But I have no idea if I want to do it. 2011 01:33:21,050 --> 01:33:22,610 - You should. - It would be a lot. 2012 01:33:22,712 --> 01:33:25,581 It would be a lot. You know. 2013 01:33:25,683 --> 01:33:27,228 And the boys. And... 2014 01:33:27,330 --> 01:33:28,954 - Actually, you know what? - I don't know how I feel. 2015 01:33:29,056 --> 01:33:30,466 I don't even know what it would be like, 2016 01:33:30,568 --> 01:33:32,206 - or what the commitment is. - Look at, look at this. 2017 01:33:33,438 --> 01:33:34,906 - What? - Something funny I just-- 2018 01:33:35,008 --> 01:33:36,139 Look at that. 2019 01:33:36,742 --> 01:33:38,511 - That's you. - Wait. Where is this? 2020 01:33:38,613 --> 01:33:40,553 That's-- I found that photo of you 2021 01:33:40,655 --> 01:33:43,289 and I blew it up and I put it on the wall of my apartment. 2022 01:33:43,392 --> 01:33:44,491 'Cause I wanted the boys to see 2023 01:33:44,593 --> 01:33:46,157 what a fucking legend their mom is. 2024 01:33:48,000 --> 01:33:51,602 Why didn't you pick a photo of me with the kids for your wall? 2025 01:33:52,206 --> 01:33:56,052 No, because I got a photo of you at the height of your power. 2026 01:33:56,155 --> 01:33:58,089 Look at you. Look how high you are. 2027 01:33:58,192 --> 01:33:59,816 That is sick! I mean, are you kidding? 2028 01:33:59,918 --> 01:34:03,025 Just be like... Smash! You know? 2029 01:34:03,127 --> 01:34:05,832 Like, that's unbelievable. It's their favorite thing. 2030 01:34:05,934 --> 01:34:08,509 I love it, too. I think-- That photo is awesome. 2031 01:34:10,111 --> 01:34:11,284 It's not me now. 2032 01:34:15,155 --> 01:34:16,051 Yeah, it is. 2033 01:34:18,733 --> 01:34:19,828 No, it isn't. 2034 01:34:21,033 --> 01:34:21,865 Here. 2035 01:34:25,976 --> 01:34:27,806 Do you have to sleep till like two fucking thirty every day? 2036 01:34:27,908 --> 01:34:29,113 Why? Did people wake up already? 2037 01:34:29,216 --> 01:34:30,278 Oh, my God. 2038 01:34:30,914 --> 01:34:32,755 What are we looking at? Oh! 2039 01:34:33,891 --> 01:34:34,794 I'm not sure what's happening right now. 2040 01:34:34,897 --> 01:34:35,827 I'm upset. 2041 01:34:36,826 --> 01:34:37,930 That's what's happening. 2042 01:34:38,399 --> 01:34:39,263 Okay. 2043 01:34:41,101 --> 01:34:43,205 You can upset me, and I can upset you. 2044 01:34:44,046 --> 01:34:45,143 Right? 2045 01:34:45,814 --> 01:34:47,589 It's what happens in a relationship. 2046 01:34:48,460 --> 01:34:51,364 I never said that we couldn't get upset. 2047 01:34:54,029 --> 01:34:55,900 I know you were trying to do a nice thing. 2048 01:35:00,317 --> 01:35:03,344 It hurt my feelings. Let's go in. 2049 01:35:05,617 --> 01:35:08,192 Are you... Do you still want me to come to the attic tonight? 2050 01:35:08,295 --> 01:35:10,468 What? 2051 01:35:12,305 --> 01:35:13,069 What about this? 2052 01:35:13,171 --> 01:35:14,333 That's fine. 2053 01:35:15,111 --> 01:35:16,370 - Space? - Okay. Jesus. 2054 01:35:19,681 --> 01:35:20,886 I'm starving. 2055 01:35:21,723 --> 01:35:23,757 Well, why don't you use a spoon like a person? 2056 01:35:23,859 --> 01:35:26,129 Oh. Well, I don't want to dirty any more dishes. 2057 01:35:26,599 --> 01:35:28,429 Well, we can wash them in the morning. 2058 01:35:28,531 --> 01:35:29,704 Oh, okay. 2059 01:35:31,442 --> 01:35:32,974 It's so good with my fingers. 2060 01:35:36,281 --> 01:35:37,855 Shouldn't have done that one thing, you know? 2061 01:35:37,957 --> 01:35:39,559 Jesus Christ. 2062 01:36:01,604 --> 01:36:04,140 House is busy tonight. 2063 01:36:04,242 --> 01:36:05,837 Anybody see you come up? 2064 01:36:06,240 --> 01:36:08,078 No, everybody was kind of in their own world. 2065 01:36:08,180 --> 01:36:11,389 I was watching this video of a therapist talking to couples, 2066 01:36:11,491 --> 01:36:14,992 and had them, as a healthy exercise, 2067 01:36:15,094 --> 01:36:17,029 ask each other what they don't like about each other. 2068 01:36:19,399 --> 01:36:21,470 That you slept with somebody, for starters. 2069 01:36:22,073 --> 01:36:23,706 Well, I only did because I thought you were 2070 01:36:23,808 --> 01:36:24,616 and I was jealous. 2071 01:36:26,148 --> 01:36:28,288 How you never respond to photos I send you. 2072 01:36:28,390 --> 01:36:29,956 Photos you always ask for. 2073 01:36:30,058 --> 01:36:32,155 I always send a thumbs-up or a heart emoji or something. 2074 01:36:32,257 --> 01:36:33,864 I'm sitting there, rushing around, 2075 01:36:33,966 --> 01:36:37,467 trying to get some perfect angle of a photo for them. 2076 01:36:37,969 --> 01:36:39,838 Just so that... You know, 2077 01:36:39,940 --> 01:36:41,440 I just felt like a psycho. 2078 01:36:41,542 --> 01:36:43,916 Feel like an idiot, knowing you could care less. 2079 01:36:44,018 --> 01:36:45,515 I love getting those photos. That's not true. 2080 01:36:47,086 --> 01:36:48,928 How quiet you got at home. 2081 01:36:50,964 --> 01:36:52,371 As if you were a different person 2082 01:36:52,473 --> 01:36:53,700 than you are with everybody else. 2083 01:36:53,802 --> 01:36:55,341 That drove me crazy. 2084 01:36:55,443 --> 01:36:58,040 Well... no, first... 2085 01:36:58,143 --> 01:36:59,911 Jeez, you're good at this game. 2086 01:37:00,013 --> 01:37:01,715 First that confused me. 2087 01:37:02,284 --> 01:37:04,520 Then made me sad, then drove me crazy. 2088 01:37:07,364 --> 01:37:09,805 As if we clearly weren't interesting enough for you. 2089 01:37:10,737 --> 01:37:12,404 I wasn't. 2090 01:37:14,518 --> 01:37:15,982 It was like you weren't even there. 2091 01:37:17,751 --> 01:37:19,054 I wasn't there? 2092 01:37:19,954 --> 01:37:22,123 - You checked out. - Me? 2093 01:37:22,225 --> 01:37:23,698 Just like you would after a loss. 2094 01:37:23,800 --> 01:37:24,995 Except for I wouldn't know the cause, 2095 01:37:25,097 --> 01:37:26,630 and so I'm just like, alone. 2096 01:37:28,436 --> 01:37:30,847 Well, good thing we aren't together. 2097 01:37:34,652 --> 01:37:35,851 Aren't we? 2098 01:37:36,388 --> 01:37:40,190 Well, I don't think us hiding is us back together. 2099 01:37:40,727 --> 01:37:42,805 Well, what do you care what anyone thinks, anyway? 2100 01:37:44,575 --> 01:37:45,976 Maybe I'm embarrassed. 2101 01:37:46,906 --> 01:37:48,013 By what? 2102 01:37:50,111 --> 01:37:51,614 - Me. - Why? 2103 01:37:54,588 --> 01:37:56,459 'Cause I don't know if you even love me. 2104 01:38:00,634 --> 01:38:03,243 You love some idea of me, hanging on your wall. 2105 01:38:05,016 --> 01:38:06,914 But not the woman you're looking at right now, 2106 01:38:07,017 --> 01:38:08,414 - in front of you - Don't tell me 2107 01:38:08,516 --> 01:38:09,620 - in this moment. - how I feel and think. 2108 01:38:09,722 --> 01:38:10,861 That's not-- 2109 01:38:12,724 --> 01:38:15,000 I mean, maybe I don't love you. I don't know. 2110 01:38:15,102 --> 01:38:17,167 Maybe I fucked you because you fucked that woman, 2111 01:38:17,269 --> 01:38:19,105 or 'cause it felt good to hear you say 2112 01:38:19,207 --> 01:38:20,505 you missed me in front of strangers, 2113 01:38:20,608 --> 01:38:22,214 - which is... embarrassing. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 2114 01:38:22,316 --> 01:38:24,347 It was a stupid fucking thing I did, and I hate myself for it. 2115 01:38:24,451 --> 01:38:28,090 Why? We had no responsibility to each other. 2116 01:38:28,192 --> 01:38:29,960 Even now, there's no real commitment. 2117 01:38:30,063 --> 01:38:31,766 - Of course there is. - To what? 2118 01:38:31,868 --> 01:38:33,707 To making each other happy. 2119 01:38:33,810 --> 01:38:35,375 Because we're doing things that make us happy 2120 01:38:35,478 --> 01:38:36,776 as individuals now. 2121 01:38:36,878 --> 01:38:38,783 And if we're happy, that's it. 2122 01:38:38,885 --> 01:38:41,348 Then we make the people we love happy too. 2123 01:38:41,451 --> 01:38:43,321 That's it? What are you, eight years old? 2124 01:38:44,187 --> 01:38:46,327 A real relationship 2125 01:38:46,430 --> 01:38:49,405 is finding somebody you can also be unhappy with. 2126 01:38:49,508 --> 01:38:50,798 Somebody who has your back. 2127 01:38:52,273 --> 01:38:54,639 We stopped having each other's backs. 2128 01:38:54,875 --> 01:38:57,415 I always tried to have your back. Are you kidding me? 2129 01:38:58,118 --> 01:38:59,516 There just wasn't enough room 2130 01:38:59,618 --> 01:39:00,860 because had to have your own back. 2131 01:39:00,962 --> 01:39:02,931 There wasn't any room left on your back. 2132 01:39:03,033 --> 01:39:05,436 Trust me, I heard. "Alex, he loves it so much. 2133 01:39:05,539 --> 01:39:06,805 He's always there for you. 2134 01:39:06,907 --> 01:39:08,842 He goes to everything. He loves it." 2135 01:39:08,944 --> 01:39:11,741 - I did. - Yeah? And when I retired? 2136 01:39:14,948 --> 01:39:18,185 When I let go of the thing I loved since I was 11? 2137 01:39:18,287 --> 01:39:19,360 You shut off. 2138 01:39:21,505 --> 01:39:23,072 You said you felt alone? 2139 01:39:23,174 --> 01:39:25,945 Baby, you left me alone years ago in this relationship. 2140 01:39:30,822 --> 01:39:32,221 Okay, you want to know the truth? 2141 01:39:32,853 --> 01:39:33,919 Yes. 2142 01:39:34,221 --> 01:39:35,392 I wasn't the downer. 2143 01:39:37,027 --> 01:39:37,969 You were. 2144 01:39:44,574 --> 01:39:47,813 You're right. I was a downer. 2145 01:39:50,688 --> 01:39:53,395 After years of dedicating myself to a thing, 2146 01:39:54,131 --> 01:39:55,499 I thought I could just stop. 2147 01:39:57,506 --> 01:40:00,740 And have my own children, and you be the replacement. 2148 01:40:04,687 --> 01:40:05,915 I did. 2149 01:40:08,790 --> 01:40:09,965 Never acknowledging 2150 01:40:10,068 --> 01:40:12,531 that it was the end of this whole other life, 2151 01:40:12,634 --> 01:40:14,940 or where I was gonna put all those feelings. 2152 01:40:15,242 --> 01:40:17,608 And then I was doing six years of in vitro, 2153 01:40:17,710 --> 01:40:19,750 and injecting myself full of all those chemicals, 2154 01:40:19,852 --> 01:40:21,515 whatever that was doing. 2155 01:40:21,618 --> 01:40:23,885 And by the way, and I love that challenge. 2156 01:40:25,658 --> 01:40:30,599 But I was having trouble with you and them 2157 01:40:30,701 --> 01:40:34,246 being the only thing fulfilling me. 2158 01:40:37,483 --> 01:40:40,126 And you knew I was struggling. 2159 01:40:41,824 --> 01:40:43,958 But that I was too proud to ever ask for help. 2160 01:40:45,672 --> 01:40:47,140 You hid behind that. 2161 01:40:49,107 --> 01:40:50,911 And I felt relieved. 2162 01:40:51,013 --> 01:40:52,709 That you never asked. 2163 01:40:52,811 --> 01:40:55,521 Because then I could avoid it too. 2164 01:40:55,891 --> 01:40:57,157 I couldn't ask you that. 2165 01:40:57,259 --> 01:40:58,996 - Of course you could. - No! 2166 01:40:59,098 --> 01:41:00,331 - Of course you could. - Baby, baby... 2167 01:41:01,770 --> 01:41:03,000 You left me alone. 2168 01:41:03,102 --> 01:41:04,607 I left you alone? 2169 01:41:04,709 --> 01:41:06,373 You checked out. 2170 01:41:06,475 --> 01:41:08,047 You think that was fun to be around? 2171 01:41:08,149 --> 01:41:10,746 I don't want to go back to that. I won't! 2172 01:41:10,849 --> 01:41:12,547 - So what are you saying then? - What I'm s-- 2173 01:41:12,650 --> 01:41:14,253 Fuck! Oh, fucking stupid-- 2174 01:41:14,355 --> 01:41:15,423 What the fuck? 2175 01:41:15,525 --> 01:41:17,266 Jesus fucking Christ, Christine! 2176 01:41:17,368 --> 01:41:19,736 Why don't you mind your own fucking business for once? 2177 01:41:19,838 --> 01:41:21,107 Whoa. 2178 01:41:21,209 --> 01:41:22,878 Maybe take care of your own shit first. 2179 01:41:23,247 --> 01:41:24,476 What the fuck is that supposed to mean? 2180 01:41:24,580 --> 01:41:26,212 ...comedy, make some noise right now! 2181 01:41:26,849 --> 01:41:30,151 For my main man, the one and only, Alex Novak everybody! 2182 01:41:58,051 --> 01:41:59,581 Fucking relationships suck. 2183 01:42:02,888 --> 01:42:04,486 And I don't mean that they-- they're like a downer. 2184 01:42:04,588 --> 01:42:06,058 I mean, they fucking suck. 2185 01:42:08,262 --> 01:42:10,171 I don't think you're fucking hearing what I'm trying to say. 2186 01:42:10,273 --> 01:42:12,277 I'm telling you that relationships suck. 2187 01:42:12,379 --> 01:42:15,048 Like, if you are in a relationship with somebody, 2188 01:42:15,150 --> 01:42:16,412 they are literally trying to suck 2189 01:42:16,514 --> 01:42:17,717 the fucking life out of you. 2190 01:42:19,720 --> 01:42:21,758 Okay? They're fucking vampires. 2191 01:42:25,361 --> 01:42:27,535 And the moment that you're happy, fucking look out. 2192 01:42:27,637 --> 01:42:29,475 The moment that you are fucking happy, 2193 01:42:29,577 --> 01:42:33,143 they see that as pure, unfiltered fucking blood, 2194 01:42:33,245 --> 01:42:35,354 and they will suck it right out of your fucking body 2195 01:42:35,456 --> 01:42:38,054 until you are gaunt and fucking drained. 2196 01:42:38,156 --> 01:42:40,631 And they will take every fucking morsel of it out. 2197 01:42:40,734 --> 01:42:44,235 Because you know why? Because happiness is the sun to them. 2198 01:42:45,038 --> 01:42:47,671 Okay? Happiness is like a stake to the fucking heart. 2199 01:42:47,773 --> 01:42:49,008 They don't want it. 2200 01:42:49,110 --> 01:42:51,212 They don't want you to be fucking happy. 2201 01:42:52,455 --> 01:42:53,952 And there are only two ways out 2202 01:42:54,055 --> 01:42:57,565 of this fucking bleak, miserable existence. 2203 01:42:57,667 --> 01:43:00,538 You either become one of them or you fucking die. 2204 01:43:02,440 --> 01:43:03,610 Well, I don't want it. 2205 01:43:05,042 --> 01:43:08,356 I don't wanna be a fucking vampire. Okay? 2206 01:43:10,796 --> 01:43:12,893 I don't want it. 2207 01:43:31,331 --> 01:43:32,503 Dad. 2208 01:43:33,340 --> 01:43:34,234 What the fuck are you doing here? 2209 01:43:34,337 --> 01:43:35,472 Son, uh... 2210 01:43:35,776 --> 01:43:39,244 Well, I just came down to see what the fuss is. 2211 01:43:39,346 --> 01:43:40,748 Jesus... 2212 01:43:40,850 --> 01:43:44,186 You... really yelled at those guys. 2213 01:43:46,732 --> 01:43:49,428 Yeah, sorry, I don't really know what that all was. 2214 01:43:49,530 --> 01:43:54,613 Yeah, well, I wouldn't say it was funny, but it was, uh... 2215 01:43:55,909 --> 01:43:57,113 ...a bit dangerous. 2216 01:43:59,455 --> 01:44:00,323 - Dad, look-- - Son. 2217 01:44:00,425 --> 01:44:01,319 - No, Dad, listen-- - Son. 2218 01:44:02,858 --> 01:44:05,393 You're a decent man, Alex. 2219 01:44:06,502 --> 01:44:08,407 And you can give yourself 2220 01:44:08,509 --> 01:44:10,744 the grace to work through all of this. 2221 01:44:11,575 --> 01:44:12,815 You know? 2222 01:44:13,710 --> 01:44:15,314 Mom. 2223 01:44:15,416 --> 01:44:18,153 Yeah, well, we rub off on each other. That's a good thing. 2224 01:44:18,255 --> 01:44:21,965 Your mother and I, we're lucky like that. 2225 01:44:22,907 --> 01:44:24,002 It's rare. 2226 01:44:25,939 --> 01:44:29,818 It's really rare. You understand? 2227 01:44:36,625 --> 01:44:37,534 Okay. 2228 01:44:38,730 --> 01:44:40,100 It's okay. Come on. 2229 01:44:41,338 --> 01:44:42,269 Come on. 2230 01:44:43,572 --> 01:44:44,471 Hey. 2231 01:44:45,446 --> 01:44:46,684 There you go. 2232 01:44:50,256 --> 01:44:52,053 Now. 2233 01:44:52,156 --> 01:44:53,995 I'm sorry... I'm sorry about... 2234 01:44:54,097 --> 01:44:56,270 You-- You don't have to be sorry about anything. 2235 01:44:56,372 --> 01:44:59,705 Life happens to us, you know? 2236 01:44:59,809 --> 01:45:02,306 What we have to do is recognize 2237 01:45:02,408 --> 01:45:04,588 where we stand and what's good about it. 2238 01:45:06,919 --> 01:45:07,892 It's gonna be okay. 2239 01:45:08,858 --> 01:45:10,732 Yeah? You work it through. 2240 01:45:13,570 --> 01:45:15,610 As for this, next time... 2241 01:45:17,412 --> 01:45:18,682 a few more jokes. 2242 01:45:19,581 --> 01:45:21,017 - See you. - See ya. 2243 01:45:22,081 --> 01:45:23,651 I'll add a joke. 2244 01:46:08,273 --> 01:46:11,210 Hey, man. I got bagels. 2245 01:46:11,312 --> 01:46:12,647 Oh, for fuck's sake. 2246 01:46:14,157 --> 01:46:16,798 So, they didn't say it, like, outright, 2247 01:46:17,668 --> 01:46:19,900 but my agent did tell me that production 2248 01:46:20,002 --> 01:46:22,209 called them, like, several times. 2249 01:46:22,512 --> 01:46:23,942 Maybe they want their hat back. 2250 01:46:24,044 --> 01:46:26,214 Will you just let me dream, bro? 2251 01:46:26,749 --> 01:46:28,211 No, you're probably right. 2252 01:46:28,880 --> 01:46:30,482 Look, man, I think it's great that you got the job 2253 01:46:30,584 --> 01:46:33,324 and that you had that experience, but... 2254 01:46:33,427 --> 01:46:34,801 I don't know, now that you're back in town, 2255 01:46:34,904 --> 01:46:37,537 don't you think maybe it's time that you face reality? 2256 01:46:37,639 --> 01:46:40,846 I have no delusions. Okay? 2257 01:46:40,949 --> 01:46:44,745 I know they killed my character, but just think about it. 2258 01:46:44,847 --> 01:46:47,659 What if they bring him back as a ghost seeking revenge? 2259 01:46:47,761 --> 01:46:49,056 I sketched out this little storyline 2260 01:46:49,158 --> 01:46:50,424 I'm gonna send to production. 2261 01:46:50,527 --> 01:46:52,562 But I'm definitely gonna give the hat back first. 2262 01:46:53,399 --> 01:46:55,502 But you never know. I'm a good writer. 2263 01:46:56,878 --> 01:46:58,212 I was talking about your marriage. 2264 01:46:58,748 --> 01:47:01,154 Oh. What about it? 2265 01:47:02,024 --> 01:47:04,286 Well, I mean, just, everything, you know, with Christine 2266 01:47:04,388 --> 01:47:07,024 and you leaving her and all that. 2267 01:47:07,393 --> 01:47:09,293 Oh, no, no, no. No, we're good. 2268 01:47:10,440 --> 01:47:11,870 - Really? - Yeah. 2269 01:47:11,973 --> 01:47:13,837 Yeah, yeah. We talked it out. 2270 01:47:13,940 --> 01:47:14,909 Yeah. 2271 01:47:15,013 --> 01:47:16,684 She said her piece-- 2272 01:47:16,786 --> 01:47:19,647 ...which was hard to hear, was good. 2273 01:47:19,749 --> 01:47:22,688 And then I said mine and then, yeah. Yeah. 2274 01:47:23,829 --> 01:47:25,395 Oh. Check this out. 2275 01:47:25,497 --> 01:47:28,271 She wants me to go back more than I do. 2276 01:47:28,373 --> 01:47:29,975 Yeah, she keeps saying, "You should just write them. 2277 01:47:30,077 --> 01:47:31,805 They need to bring back your character." 2278 01:47:33,245 --> 01:47:35,153 - Is that crazy? - Mmm. 2279 01:47:36,920 --> 01:47:37,784 Yeah. 2280 01:47:40,666 --> 01:47:42,134 Hey, man, is there, um... 2281 01:47:44,974 --> 01:47:46,802 Is there a chance that she's... 2282 01:47:48,278 --> 01:47:49,544 I don't know, that she wants you to... 2283 01:47:51,519 --> 01:47:53,222 I don't know, she wants to get some time away from you? 2284 01:47:55,428 --> 01:47:56,430 Why? 2285 01:47:56,699 --> 01:47:58,162 You'll be out of town or... 2286 01:47:58,264 --> 01:47:59,938 She came with me to Texas. 2287 01:48:00,574 --> 01:48:01,339 - Really? - Yeah. 2288 01:48:01,441 --> 01:48:02,633 She did? 2289 01:48:02,735 --> 01:48:04,244 Yeah. She was there all nine days. 2290 01:48:06,280 --> 01:48:07,712 It was her idea to steal the hat. 2291 01:48:08,922 --> 01:48:10,921 Yeah, she's like, thinks I look... 2292 01:48:11,024 --> 01:48:12,821 you know, really handsome. 2293 01:48:13,896 --> 01:48:15,200 Wow, I'm confused. 2294 01:48:16,706 --> 01:48:18,201 Yeah, well, confused is good. 2295 01:48:18,303 --> 01:48:20,069 I'm confused most of the time. 2296 01:48:20,705 --> 01:48:22,115 I just like being confused with her. 2297 01:48:24,019 --> 01:48:25,688 Who would have thought Jalen... 2298 01:48:25,790 --> 01:48:27,684 I love that guy... 2299 01:48:27,786 --> 01:48:29,855 but going away would be actually good for us? 2300 01:48:32,001 --> 01:48:33,698 - Hmm. - What is that behind me? 2301 01:48:35,811 --> 01:48:37,871 - That's a picture of Tess. - Oh. 2302 01:48:39,014 --> 01:48:40,649 I can't see her face. 2303 01:48:41,319 --> 01:48:42,747 Well, yeah, the photo's taken from behind. 2304 01:48:42,849 --> 01:48:44,858 Yeah, well, you should just turn her around. 2305 01:48:45,395 --> 01:48:47,231 Yeah, I don't think-- I don't think they can do that. 2306 01:48:49,339 --> 01:48:50,468 Someday. 2307 01:49:17,325 --> 01:49:19,564 She's competed every single night 2308 01:49:19,666 --> 01:49:21,100 of her college career. 2309 01:49:21,202 --> 01:49:22,994 She doesn't have as much international experience, 2310 01:49:23,097 --> 01:49:25,337 but to be able to grind through the Big Ten season 2311 01:49:25,439 --> 01:49:28,181 and make a big run in the tournament... 2312 01:49:28,283 --> 01:49:29,716 - She's got what it takes. - Played for John Cook too. 2313 01:49:29,818 --> 01:49:31,084 - John Cook. - Exactly. 2314 01:49:31,186 --> 01:49:32,890 Is that Rachel, 2315 01:49:32,992 --> 01:49:34,823 who Arch was saying came out of UVA? 2316 01:49:42,843 --> 01:49:43,938 - Hi. - Hey. 2317 01:49:44,842 --> 01:49:46,478 - Uh, is everything-- - Everything's fine, yeah. 2318 01:49:46,580 --> 01:49:47,852 I just dropped the boys off at school, 2319 01:49:47,954 --> 01:49:49,021 but I wanted to come by here 2320 01:49:49,124 --> 01:49:50,451 before I drove back to the city-- 2321 01:49:50,553 --> 01:49:52,019 I'm just in the middle of it 2322 01:49:52,122 --> 01:49:53,527 - with the coaching staff, so I-- - Okay. Okay, I just want-- 2323 01:49:53,629 --> 01:49:55,092 I just wanna show you something really quick. 2324 01:49:57,073 --> 01:49:59,705 - Look at that. - What is that, Alex? 2325 01:49:59,807 --> 01:50:01,846 It's you. It's you. First time you saw the minivan. 2326 01:50:01,948 --> 01:50:03,377 Look how unhappy you are. 2327 01:50:03,479 --> 01:50:04,748 It's my favorite thing. 2328 01:50:06,725 --> 01:50:07,589 I see that. 2329 01:50:09,495 --> 01:50:11,465 I realize that I was the one who was unhappy. 2330 01:50:14,370 --> 01:50:16,941 I was unhappy in our marriage. 2331 01:50:17,377 --> 01:50:20,075 I wasn't unhappy with our marriage. 2332 01:50:28,596 --> 01:50:30,129 I wanna be unhappy with you. 2333 01:50:33,836 --> 01:50:35,105 Let's be unhappy together. 2334 01:50:54,755 --> 01:50:57,021 Fuck! 2335 01:50:57,123 --> 01:50:58,218 I'll think about it. 2336 01:51:31,758 --> 01:51:35,167 ♪ Pressure Pushing down on me ♪ 2337 01:51:35,270 --> 01:51:38,375 ♪ Pressing down on you No man ask for ♪ 2338 01:51:39,411 --> 01:51:41,279 And in that moment, I stood up and I said, 2339 01:51:41,381 --> 01:51:44,816 "Hey. Your mom is not going anywhere... 2340 01:51:45,619 --> 01:51:47,553 till she helps me open this jar." 2341 01:51:55,910 --> 01:52:00,110 ♪ That's the terror of knowing What this world is about ♪ 2342 01:52:00,212 --> 01:52:02,780 ♪ Watching some good friends Screaming ♪ 2343 01:52:02,882 --> 01:52:04,325 ♪ "Let me out!" ♪ 2344 01:52:04,427 --> 01:52:07,998 ♪ Pray tomorrow takes us higher ♪ 2345 01:52:08,702 --> 01:52:12,107 ♪ Pressure on people People on streets ♪ 2346 01:52:12,210 --> 01:52:14,977 Mmm. 2347 01:52:18,220 --> 01:52:19,314 ♪ Okay ♪ 2348 01:52:21,492 --> 01:52:23,562 ♪ Chippin' around ♪ 2349 01:52:23,665 --> 01:52:25,326 ♪ Kick my brains 'Round the floor ♪ 2350 01:52:25,428 --> 01:52:29,174 ♪ These are the days It never rains, it just pours ♪ 2351 01:52:29,277 --> 01:52:30,877 ♪ People on streets ♪ 2352 01:52:33,450 --> 01:52:34,586 ♪ People on streets ♪ 2353 01:52:37,091 --> 01:52:41,358 ♪ It's the terror of knowing What this world is about ♪ 2354 01:52:41,460 --> 01:52:43,763 ♪ Watching some good friends Screaming ♪ 2355 01:52:43,865 --> 01:52:45,305 ♪ "Let me out!" ♪ 2356 01:52:45,407 --> 01:52:47,302 ♪ Pray tomorrow ♪ 2357 01:52:47,405 --> 01:52:49,583 ♪ Takes us Higher, higher, high ♪ 2358 01:52:49,685 --> 01:52:53,084 ♪ Pressure on people People on streets ♪ 2359 01:52:55,895 --> 01:52:59,228 ♪ Turned away from it all Like a blind man ♪ 2360 01:53:00,265 --> 01:53:03,208 ♪ Sat on a fence But it don't work ♪ 2361 01:53:04,079 --> 01:53:07,382 ♪ Keep coming up with love But it's so slashed and torn ♪ 2362 01:53:07,484 --> 01:53:12,788 ♪ Why, why, why ♪ 2363 01:53:18,710 --> 01:53:22,440 ♪ Love, love, love Love, love, love, love ♪ 2364 01:53:22,542 --> 01:53:26,316 ♪ Insanity laughs under pressure We're cracking ♪ 2365 01:53:26,418 --> 01:53:30,158 ♪ Can't we give ourselves One more chance? ♪ 2366 01:53:30,260 --> 01:53:34,098 ♪ Why can't we give love That one more chance? ♪ 2367 01:53:34,201 --> 01:53:38,043 ♪ Why can't we give love Give love ♪ 2368 01:53:38,145 --> 01:53:41,917 ♪ Give love, give love, Give love, give love... ♪ 2369 01:53:43,683 --> 01:53:48,358 ♪ 'Cause love's Such an old-fashioned word ♪ 2370 01:53:48,461 --> 01:53:52,938 ♪ And love dares you To care for ♪ 2371 01:53:53,041 --> 01:53:58,677 ♪ The people on The edge of the night ♪ 2372 01:53:58,779 --> 01:54:03,488 ♪ And love dares you to change Our way of ♪ 2373 01:54:03,590 --> 01:54:07,933 ♪ Caring about ourselves ♪ 2374 01:54:08,035 --> 01:54:11,941 ♪ This is our last dance ♪ 2375 01:54:12,043 --> 01:54:16,014 ♪ This is our last dance ♪ 2376 01:54:16,116 --> 01:54:17,352 ♪ This is ourselves ♪ 2377 01:54:20,696 --> 01:54:21,932 ♪ Under pressure ♪ 2378 01:54:24,407 --> 01:54:25,808 ♪ Under pressure ♪ 2379 01:54:29,008 --> 01:54:30,245 ♪ Pressure ♪ 162966