Original subtitles

Oh, hi, Barney! Oh, hi, Hazel.

It turned out to be a nice day after all, huh?

Yeah. But it's awful hot to be packing a load like this.

How does this sound to you?

I got a whole pitcherful inside. Sour, the way you like it.

And ginger cookies to go with it.

Oh, well, thanks, Hazel, but Rosie filled me all up with ice tea and cake.

- Oh. - Sure was a relief to sit down over there and cool off.

They've had the house air-conditioned, you know.

No, I didn't. She didn't say a word to me about it.

Well, they just put it in. I gotta mosey along.

I gotta make up the time that I lost at Rosie's.

Keep cool.

How do you like that Rosie,

getting herself air-conditioned without telling me.

Well, two can play that game.

An air-conditioned house this size would cost $2,000 or $3,000.

Oh, sure it would, Mr. B., if you was to pay cash.

But I know you don't want to set out a lump sum like that.

Well, Hazel, I'm glad you realize that.

If you was to stagger it over three years, that

would bring it to something like 73.83 a month.

- Hazel... - Now, George.

Why "Now, George"? Did I raise my voice?

Do I look angry? Well...

What could be more comfortable than an air-conditioned house?

Now, if we can figure out some way to pay

for it, I think we should go ahead and do it.

Now that's using the old bean, Mr. B.

How much do you pay for lunches? Not less than a dollar and a half, I bet.

Now, if I was to pack you a nice, nourishing sandwich and a thermos...

Hazel! George can't take his lunch to the office in a paper bag.

Why not?

If there's something we really want, we should be willing to sacrifice to get it.

- Right, Hazel? - Right.

However, Hazel, you must realize...

that the $73.83 monthly payment does not represent the entire expense.

You see, there'll be the cost of electricity to run it,

depreciation, interest that we could earn on the money, et cetera.

What et cetera? You named everything in the book.

All I'm getting at is, would you be willing to assume some of the financial burden...

by taking a slight cut in salary?

Well, uh, how much?

$73.83 per month.

Boy, it sure feels like it's going to turn out to be a scorcher, huh?

The weatherman predicts a very pleasant 76 degrees.

Oh, yeah? You know where they take those official temperature readings?

Down the basement at city hall,

which is probably air-conditioned.

City hall doesn't have a basement.

They do have air-conditioning though.

I know, because when I went to get our dog licenses...

Dorothy, that has nothing to do with the case.

They do not take temperature readings in an air-conditioned room.

Well, they certainly don't take them in my kitchen.

Harold, don't shovel in your food.

I want to go out and play before it gets too hot.

All right. You may be excused.

Thanks, Dad. Hey, Mother, can I wear my trunks over to Jimmy's?

No, dear, it isn't warm enough yet to go without your shirt.

No, your mother is right.

If you take off your shirt this early in

summer, what will you do when it's really hot?

Okay, Hazel.

Boy, it's sure going to be hot here this August. That's what I was telling Rosie.

Oh, how is Rosie? Oh, she's fine.

Boy, she gives me a pain though.

Always bragging about her job and the folks she's working for.

The Craigs are nice. Oh, sure.

But they're not the only ones that have got air-conditioning.

Oh, I didn't know they were putting it in. Oh, well, I didn't either.

That Rosie is a sly one. I never would've known it if Barney hadn't told me.

Hazel, I'll have some hot coffee.

Oh, sure.

And I'm not interested in Rosie or the Craigs or their air-conditioning.

Okay, but don't blame me if the mail is late.

If the mail is late?

What's the connection between the mail and the Craigs' air-conditioning?

I don't know. It must have something to do with Barney.

Have you ever thought of getting a portable air conditioner?

No.

I could use it in my kitchen in the daytime,

and you could use it in your bedroom at night.

Hazel, once and for all, finally and unequivocally,

no matter what happens to the mail, I cannot afford to air-condition this house.

I may not even have a job in a couple of months.

George, what do you mean?

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pop off. It's not that serious.

Not serious?

George, darling, if there's something wrong, why haven't you told me?

There's nothing wrong.

All I meant was that I've been with

Butterworth, Hatch and Noll for five years now.

And if they don't make me a full partner soon, I'm going to resign.

Is that all? Boy, for a minute there you had me worried.

"Is that all"?

I hadn't intended telling you yet, but you both might as well be prepared.

George, they should've made you a partner a long time ago.

Sure. You're the best lawyer in the whole city.

And if Mr. Butterworth doesn't realize that,

there are plenty of other places that will.

I was thinking we might have the

Butterworths over for dinner some night soon.

Good idea. And I could have it out with him in a nice, friendly way.

Sure. If one of my dinners don't give you a full partnership, nothin' will.

Hazel, I'm counting on that.

I'll call Mrs. Butterworth right now.

I better start planning my menu.

Mr. Butterworth's crazy about seafood.

Maybe I'll have curried crab and then first a little cold vichyssoise.

No, maybe I better have broiled lobster.

Curried food don't set so good on some people.

We don't want to give him heartburn. That's the one thing we don't want to give him.

Hazel, we're going to leave the menu entirely up to you.

I wouldn't have nagged you if I knowed you had something important on your mind.

I know, Hazel.

From now on you ain't going to hear one more word about air-conditioning,

no matter what happens to my social life.

Now, let's see.

I think I'll have cracked crab...

instead of the broiled lobster...

It's so hot.

And, uh, grapefruit and avocado cocktail.

Boy, how am I ever going to raise $249.95?

And it just might be that I've got a nice piece of apple pie.

Oh, no, Rosie. Rosie, please!

I couldn't do it. I've had enough.

As soon as I finish my tea, I've gotta be on my way.

Rosie! Oh, Hazel!

Come on in and cool off. Oh, I...

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you was entertaining.

Oh, take my chair, Hazel. I've gotta be going.

Oh, no, you don't have to run on my account.

I just dropped in for a minute to ask if I could borrow something.

Oh, I was just going. Not that I want to.

I could stay around here all day if I didn't have my job to do.

Rosie, thanks a lot for the delicious refreshments.

I'll see you tomorrow. Bye, Barney.

You too, Hazel. See you around.

I hope you're not mad at me, Hazel.

Mad? No. Why? What for?

Finding Barney here. Oh, I got no strings on Barney.

Don't matter to me where he spends his time.

I got more important things to think about. Oh. Like what?

Like planning a dinner for Mr. B.'s boss.

It's so hot today, I'm gonna have cracked crab.

I wanted to borrow the ice crusher. That's why I come over.

Oh, sure. Hi, Hazel!

Oh, hi, Charlie.

Well, what a pleasant surprise for my eyes.

How's the antique business? Oh, splendid, splendid.

Sorry I can't stay and chat, but I can't wait to hook up this air conditioner.

I sure need it.

Air conditioner? You sold him the air conditioner?

Well, I didn't, Hazel. I only work here.

Well, it was in the master bedroom.

Naturally they don't need it now they got the whole house done.

How much did he pay them for it?

Forty dollars. Forty dollars? Do you know what them things cost?

You might've given me a chance at it. I'd have done as much for you.

I had no idea you'd be interested.

Oh, like heck you didn't.

Charlie... Oh, he's gone.

A fine friend you turned out to be, Rosie Hammacker.

I knew you were mad.

I knew the minute you walked through that door

and saw Barney visiting that you were mad.

I could tell by the expression on your face.

I said to myself, "Rosie, Hazel's going to be mad.

She's going to try to pick a fight with you,

just as sure as your name's Rosie Hammacker."

Oh, go turn down your thermostat.

42.50, cash on the barrelhead.

If I were a rich man, I'd give you the air conditioner.

Forty-five.

I would have it wrapped in a box and tied up with a silk ribbon three inches wide.

Fifty.

I would have it delivered to your doorstep in a shiny new truck...

with gold lettering on the side...

Charlie's Antique Shoppe, with two "P's" and an "E." But...

You ain't a rich man, Charlie, and you ain't never gonna be...

unless you make up your mind to take a fast 25% profit on your merchandise.

But, my dear lady, that air conditioner is not merchandise.

It's a capital investment.

You mean it ain't for sale at any price?

When I had a junk shop, it didn't matter how hot it got in here.

People don't expect modern conveniences in a junk shop.

Okay, Charlie.

But now that I am the proprietor of a fancy antique business, Hazel,

I've got to compete with Merryweather down the street.

She has air-conditioning, and I have to have air-conditioning.

And I gotta have air-conditioning.

But I see your point. I don't blame you, Charlie. Wait. Wait a minute.

I have here the solution to your whole problem.

A genuine antique Spanish fan.

Handmade lace and mother-of-pearl on the end.

For one person, how much air-conditioning do you need?

Oh, no, thanks, Charlie.

At Merryweather they would charge you $15 or $16 for this.

But to you, one dollar and a quarter.

I'll give you a dollar if you'll throw in this cup and saucer.

Hazel, that's Haviland!

3.25 would be my rock-bottom price. Hmm.

Oh, this is nice.

22.50?

Oh, these are pretty plates.

What an eye you have. I should make you a partner.

Do you only have five of them?

Do you know how long it took me to collect those five plates?

Longer than I have been in business.

Dresden. See on the back here? See this mark?

It means they were made in 1725.

Oh. They're pretty.

Sometimes I get discouraged, Hazel.

I look around me and say,

"Charlie, the junk man, who are you trying to

impress calling yourself an antique dealer?"

And then I dust off my Dresden fruit plates...

and all my dreams are possible again.

You're really crazy about them, ain't you, Charlie?

I'd give anything for more of these plates.

Someday I will complete my set.

And who is going to call me a junk man then?

Well, nobody calls you one now. Not when I'm around.

For you, Hazel, my very good friend,

I will sell this Haviland cup and saucer for a dollar and a quarter.

Oh. And this fan is a present from me.

Oh, thanks, Charlie.

Here you are.

You know, gift wrapping I don't have.

Oh, that's all right. I got the car parked just down the block.

Any time you're in the neighborhood, drop in and cool off.

Thanks.

Oh, good afternoon. May I help you?

Uh, oh, yes.

Uh, do you have any cups and saucers in Haviland in this pattern?

Well, let's see, shall we?

You're a collector of Haviland?

Well, in a small way.

No, I'm afraid I don't have this particular pattern.

But I do have something you'll like,

and it's very chic to mismatch.

Well, I ain't the chic type.

How about some dinner plates? I don't know.

That's a nice cut glass bowl you have in the window. How much is that?

Oh, it's the star pattern.

Isn't it lovely?

I can see you have excellent taste.

It's $75. Oh.

But I've had it in stock for quite a while, so I'll let you have it for 60.

Well, I'd have to think about it.

What's that old dish?

You do have good taste.

But it's a fruit bowl.

Oh, isn't it lovely? Old Dresden. Very rare.

Yes, that's very pretty. But I don't have any use for it.

Well, it's really a museum piece.

I could use a couple of plates... fruit plates.

You don't happen to have any in that design.

Well, it just so happens that I do. Four.

One has an edge cracked, but the other three are in excellent condition.

Uh, just for kicks, what are you asking for them?

Well, in order to make a new customer,

and if you take all five pieces,

that would be $30 for the bowl and 24.50 times four.

Let's say $125.

Well, I'd have to think about it. How much is this?

Six dollars. You couldn't touch it for a penny under 12 in New York.

Oh, I really shouldn't, but I'll let you have it for four dollars and a half.

Well, it's very pretty, and the price is right at 4.50.

Yes, I couldn't let it go for a penny under that.

But I spent so much for the cup and saucer.

Well, I'm really getting kind of tired of Haviland.

What about a trade? Well...

This cup and saucer's worth at least three and a quarter.

And I'll give you this and 50 cents cash on the barrelhead.

A dollar.

Seventy-five?

How much is this star pattern compote dish?

Twelve dollars you'd pay for this at Merryweather.

But I'll give it to you for what it cost me... 8.50.

Well, this is worth six dollars, but I'll give it to you for five.

I'll give you seven for the compote. That's two dollars cash money.

All right.

Here we are.

Two.

Hello?

- Hi, darling! - Hi.

- I was wondering if you wanted me to bring anything home. - No, not a thing.

You want to ask Hazel? I'll hang on.

- She isn't home. - She isn't home?

Doesn't she realize we've got company coming tonight?

Now, George, don't get excited.

Dinner is all prepared. I looked.

She must've gotten up at the crack of dawn.

Well, where is she? When's she coming back?

Dorothy, if anything goes wrong tonight with the Butterworths there...

Stop worrying. Hazel wouldn't let us down.

She better not.

Well, okay. Call me if you need anything. Bye, honey.

Bye-bye. And don't worry.

And that's worth 12 bucks. And it'll go with the punch bowl in the window.

And besides, this chair needs a lot of work done on it, you know.

Miss Burke, I enjoy doing business with a woman who appreciates fine things.

All you have to do is tighten the legs and just sand it down a little...

and you could get at least $25 for that.

I'm out of my mind, but all right.

Two, three, four, five...

That's, uh, seven dollars you owe me.

There you are.

And five is seven. Oh, swell.

Thanks.

Oh!

Oh, it's lovely!

I have a customer who'll give her eyeteeth for it.

I'm asking 125 for it.

I'll take it on consignment.

I'll split the profit with you.

No. Them Dresden fruit plates ain't doing you no good.

It's going to be years before you complete a whole set.

Give me $10 cash and it's a deal.

My fruit plates?

Hazel, you found my fruit plates!

Hazel, my friend, how did you ever get ahold of them?

Oh, it wasn't easy.

Hazel, you can have anything you want... my whole shop, my life!

Just your air conditioner. Oh, gladly! Gladly!

This is a little present I'm throwing in extra.

Oh, no!

Look out for my air conditioner.

That's to be delivered in good condition, or the whole deal is off.

I'll guard it with my life. I shall install it with my own two hands.

I shall never forget your kindness.

I shall take you to the movies tonight, if you'll do me the honor.

Oh, thanks, Charlie. Not tonight.

We're having company for dinner. Some other time.

Oh, Mr. B.! Where you been?

Holy cow, it's hot in here. The Butterworths is here already.

Missy is giving them a cool drink inside.

I got held up in traffic. Everything all right?

Oh, sure. Here, freshen yourself up with this cool towel.

If you're going to be a full partner, you gotta look like one.

A night like this, I'll be lucky if he doesn't fire me.

Ooh, that feels good. Yeah.

I saw that trick in a Japanese movie on the late show. Ain't it a doozy?

It's terrific.

You all right? Yeah. Here.

There we go. Okay, thank you, Hazel.

Oh, wait a minute. Would you take these in for me?

Hot hors d'oeuvres on a night like this?

Any time anything I serve ain't satisfactory,

I can always get a job as a geisha girl.

Thank you, Mr. Butterworth.

After a day like this, it's a real pleasure to be in this lovely cool home.

George? Is that you? Oh, George is here.

Yes, darling. Sorry to be late.

Good evening, Mrs. Butterworth. Hello.

Mr. Butterworth. So glad we could come.

You must be very glad to get home and cool off, George.

Yes. Yes, I am.

Walter, just look at this beautiful flower arrangement.

It's exquisite.

It's George's taste that I admire.

After all, he picked Dorothy. Oh, well, thank you both.

Dorothy, where did that come from? Hazel.

Well, it's a lifesaver, but where did Hazel find money to...

Shh. Well, according to her, she got it for nothing and made a $10 profit on it.

Mr. Butterworth.

You're a lucky young man, George.

Nice home, beautiful wife, cook like Hazel.

Hope you appreciate your good fortune.

Oh, I do. Believe me, I do. Good night. Good night.

Oh, wasn't that marvelous?

I'm so proud of you. Me too.

The old boy was sure in a good humor, wasn't he?

Hazel, guess what. George has been made a full partner.

Butterworth, Hatch, Noll and Baxter.

Oh, doesn't that sound wonderful?

I didn't even have to ask him. He asked me.

They should've put your name first.

You're the best darn lawyer in the whole city, and they know it.

Oh, come on, Hazel. Well, I guess my dinner didn't hurt either.

Oh, it was delicious, Hazel.

My hollandaise sauce with cracked crab is one of my specialties.

I hope you don't mind.

I invited Barney over for a snack tonight.

He's almost as crazy about cracked crab as Mr. Butterworth.

Of course we don't mind.

Hazel, I just don't know how to thank you. Oh, no thanks is necessary.

Just help me get my air conditioner out to my kitchen where it belongs...

before Barney gets here.

Oh, sure, Hazel. And thanks very much for letting us use it.

Oh, I'm glad to give you the loan of it. It was awfully nice of you.

Well, now that Mr. B.'s a full partner,

maybe you can afford to get one of your own.

There we are.

You know, Missy, you couldn't ask for a more lovable, kinder, smarter man.

If only he didn't have that little stubborn streak.

This has been a Screen Gems Film Production...

from the Hollywood Studios of Columbia Pictures.