All language subtitles for Hazel S01E30 Hazel the Matchmaker.DVDRip.NonHI.cc.en.SNY

Farmer Brown's apple
tree had 12 apples on it.

Boy, he's havin' a bad year.

Four boys climbed the tree
and picked all the apples.

If all of the boys picked the same
number, how many apples did each boy get?

Come on. Twelve
apples, four boys.

How many apples did each boy
get? Can I have a Toll House cookie?

No. You can't have any cookies
until you do your arithmetic.

- Now how many apples
did each boy get?
- Four?

- Well, that's close, but close
ain't good enough. Come on now.
- Five?

Oh, boy. It don't begin with
an "F." It begins with a "T."

Ten? Oh, Harold!

Two? For Pete's sake!

I'm hungry. No. You can't have
any cookies until... Just a minute.

Now, Farmer Brown's apple tree
had 12 of my Toll House cookies on it.

If you and three of your
friends climbed the tree,

what would be your share? Three.

Oh, thank heavens. Now
you can go get your cookie.

I don't know what to say. In reading,
Harold's one of my brightest pupils.

Oh, he's smart as a whip. Miss
Lewis is talking about his arithmetic.

Oh. Well, that ain't his strong
point. He's more the artistic type.

Perhaps so, Hazel, but he
still has to learn arithmetic.

Oh, I been workin' with him. But if
you don't mind a tip from an amateur,

if you got any problems
with apples in them,

change them to Toll House
cookies and he'll do lots better.

Well, if Toll House cookies will help him
understand the principle, I'm all for them.

- Ain't she sweet?
- Yes, she is.

Well, I thank you both. How
come you never got married?

- Hazel.
- Oh, that's all right. Nobody's asked me.

- No men in your life?
- Hazel, really.

I have a lot of men in my life.

I'm with 18 men, all
single, nearly every day.

Well, for Pete's sake,
what's the matter with them?

You're a real good-lookin' girl
if you just took them glasses off.

Hazel, the men I'm referring
to are all eight years old.

Oh, you mean the kids at school.

Oh, well, I'll introduce you down
around the bowlin' alley if you like.

Hazel, that's enough.
Okay. I'm goin'.

I go every Friday night.
Just give me a ring. Hazel!

I'm goin'. I'm goin'.

Terrific bunch of fellas.

But you don't have to
worry about dressin' up.

You know, just wear somethin' comfortable
so you look all right when you bend over.

♪♪

Put it on the table, Al. I hope you
remembered to wipe your feet for once.

Oh! Oh, Mr. Blake.

I thought you was the bread man.

Oh, you back from work so soon?

Yes. I came home early to help my
new housekeeper. She started today.

Yeah, I saw her. I
hope she works out.

Boy, it's tough raisin'
four kids without a mother.

Little Stevie suggested that I
marry you. He's a big fan of yours.

Oh, for Pete's sake. I'm old
enough to be your... older sister.

Hazel. Yes?

Stan, I didn't hear you come in.

That's because I sneaked in to
steal Hazel's recipe for roast beef.

Now seriously, Hazel, we're having
a roast tonight. How do you fix yours?

I want to tell my
new housekeeper.

Well, you set the oven to broil
and keep it there all the while.

Then you cook it for about
an hour for a six-pounder.

Keeps the juices in,
makes it nice and crusty.

Thank you. I'll
tell Mrs. Muldoon.

How's she working out,
Stan? Well, judging from lunch,

I should say she's the
sort of cook who makes

a restaurant meal
seem very inviting. Yeah.

I knew it the minute I
saw her. Too skinny.

I never saw a good cook
yet that didn't jiggle a little.

Well, I'll tell her about the roast
beef. Maybe we can fatten her up.

Come on over after dinner.
We'll play some Scrabble.

Fine. I will.
Thanks, Hazel. Bye.

He's such a nice... widower.

Well, yes... What? Miss Lewis.

And she loves kids.
Well, of course she does.

Hazel, Miss Lewis and Stan
don't even know each other.

Missy, that's a terrific idea.
We'll get them together.

Oh.

Darling, if you stop to
think about it, I'm sure... No.

You'll see I'm right. No.

Now, Miss Lewis is a lovely,
intelligent woman, right?

Right. The answer is no.

And Stan's a lonely widower.
Right? Wrong. The answer is no.

He is too. So why don't we just
have them both over for dinner?

- Dorothy,
don't be a matchmaker.
- Why not?

Hazel, wouldn't you
be more comfortable

eavesdropping in here?
There's a draft in there.

That's 'cause you
never fixed that door.

I told you a dozen times
to put weather strippin' on it.

Mr. B., that Mr. Stan
needs somebody to look

after him. Now listen
to me, both of you.

Stan neither needs nor wants
your interference in his private life.

He's a very successful executive.
He makes a lot of money.

And on top of that,
he's a nice-looking guy.

So don't you think he can
find all the dates he wants?

- But them kids need a mother.
- That's for Stan to decide.

And Miss Lewis is just the
one. What is it with you women?

Is an unattached male some
kind of a challenge to you?

You have a nest-building
instinct, like birds.

Except birds are smarter. They
stick to building their own nests.

Miss Lewis would
be just perfect.

If it comes to introducing somebody
to Stan, it will not be Miss Lewis.

Who then? Well, uh,
Mimi Andrews, for example.

Oh, Mr. B., are you kiddin'?

No, I'm not kidding. She's my partner's
sister, and I've known her for years.

- What's wrong with her?
- Oh, nothin' physical,
I'm sure.

Boy, there's nothin' like the
desert air in Reno for health.

And she's been there so
much, she's a regular commuter.

- She goes through marriages
like they was revolvin' doors.
- Oh, she does not.

She had a couple of marriages that didn't
work out, but that doesn't mean anything.

There's Stan now.

The poor, lonely fella.
Comin' over here to

play Scrabble when
what he really wants is...

Hazel, just answer the door and
don't give him a character reading.

Yes, sir. And then
I'll put on the tea.

Now I don't want you
reading tea leaves.

Dorothy, tell her not to read
tea leaves. Hazel, no tea leaves.

Okay.

Oh, hi, Mr. Blake. Hazel.

How'd the roast come out? It
was crusty, Hazel, clear through.

Oh, well, she
cooked it too long.

I'll drop by tomorrow
and teach her a thing or...

Oh, speakin' of
teachin'... Hazel!

I was just gonna say Harold's teacher came
by 'cause he wasn't so good in arithmetic.

That had nothing to do with
Mr. Blake. How are you, Stan?

Hi, George. Sure it
has somethin' to do.

His Stevie's in the
same class with Harold.

I thought he'd like to know his
boy is bein' taught by someone...

that has a real
feelin' for kids.

I am interested.
Thank you, Hazel.

I didn't say nothin'
about her bein' attractive

or not married, if that's
what you're thinkin'.

Gorgeous, you might
say. Hazel, please.

You have to fight back, Stan. It's the only
way to survive. Oh, it can't be that bad.

Oh, you don't know
Hazel. She knows

everything that goes
on in this neighborhood.

And she'll try to run your life.
Worse things could happen.

Hi, Dorothy. How are
you? Fine. How are you?

Well, just at the moment, I'm
intrigued by this teacher. Tell me.

Stan, forget it.
She's not your type.

She's sweet, smart,
gorgeous and loves kids.

What type do you go for,
Mr. Blake? Hazel, please.

Oh, okay, Mr. B.

We had some lemon meringue pie
left from dinner. Would you like a slice?

The coffee's still hot.
Love some, Hazel.

I'll give you a hand.
I'll have a piece.

- A man needs a woman, you know,
to do things for him like that.
- I'll have a piece too.

Like Missy and me do for Mr. B.

Hazel, I said I'll have
a piece of pie too.

Oh, no. You can't
have any, Mr. B.

You know, he has
this weight problem.

If I didn't watch him,
he'd need license

plates and a driver from
the Teamsters union.

- Honestly, that woman.
- Oh, she's marvelous. And she
thinks the world of you.

Yes, I guess she does. But,
oh, she can be irritating at times.

Well, now, what about
that schoolteacher?

Am I going to meet her?
Hey, Missy, come here.

Oh, forget it. You
know women. Hazel and

Dorothy were trying to
do a little matchmaking,

- and I put a stop to it.
- Why?

A man in your position must have
people matchmaking for him all the time.

I'd think you'd get
a little sick of that.

People don't do too much
matchmaking for widowers with children.

You must know a lot
of women. Oh, a few.

But they're not interested in taking
on the responsibility of four kids.

Well, aren't there any girls
in your office? Oh, sure.

But, well, they're
girls. Nineteen, 20.

Well, where girls are concerned,
that's a pretty good vintage.

George, with wine and women,
I like mine mellowed a bit.

Stan, I've had
the wrong picture.

Hazel and Dorothy were
right. Oh, Mr. B.'s a doozy.

We'll definitely have to
introduce you to someone.

And I think I know just the person.
My partner's sister, Mimi Andrews.

Well, for Pete's sake. Wait till he finds
lumps in his cereal tomorrow morning.

And as you know, the sidewalk
cafés in Rome are simply enchanting.

I've never been in
Rome, Miss Andrews.

Oh, please, call me Mimi.

Actually, I went there
to do the museums, but

I didn't care for them
much. Too touristy.

I wanted to see the real Rome.

The Rome we've all read about.
And I found it in the sidewalk cafés.

Oh, that was living.

- I met Hollywood stars
by the dozens.
- Really?

Oh, yes. And there was one
mad Hungarian producer...

who wanted to star me in a
production of Romulus and Remus.

Hmm. Of course,
I turned him down.

Thank you.

What nice hands you have.
They're so... so masculine. Thank you.

- You like bologna, Mr. Blake?
- Hazel, please.

I was talkin' about the canapés. Them
rolled ones in the center is bologna.

What was you thinkin'
about, Mr. B.? Uh, never mind.

Did somethin' else remind you...
Hazel, will you please serve them?

Them on the left is
the waistline watchers.

Thank you. That's something
I don't have to worry about.

I've stayed the same
size since I was 16.

These three and four-way
stretches is wonderful, ain't they?

Canapé, Mr. Blake?
Yes. Thanks, Hazel.

Well, how's those four healthy,
lively, noisy kids of yours tonight?

Oh, fine. Hazel, please.

Never mind. I'll serve them. You'd better
go in the kitchen. Something's burning.

I don't know what
could be burnin'. Me.

Stan?

I don't understand this part where "A" and
"B" have an equal number and then "C"...

Well, that's easy.
All you need is...

All you need is expert help.
I'm gonna call Miss Lewis.

But you're an expert.

Huh. No, Sport. I'm better at bakin'
apples than I am at dividin' them.

This will solve
all our problems.

Hello, Miss Lewis? Hazel.

I know this is a terrible thing to
ask on a Saturday night, but, uh...

I just don't understand anything
mechanical. That's why I'm so impressed.

- An electrical engineer.
- It's just a job.

Oh, come on, Stan.
Don't be so modest.

He's one of the top men
in his organization. Really?

- Sure. He's just
been offered a partnership.
- Oh, how marvelous.

It's much more comfortable
there in the living room.

The Baxters are
having company, Hazel.

Oh, but you don't take up much
room. And it's so hot and steamy in here.

We're almost
finished. Oh, you are?

Uh, Hazel, we'll have our
coffee in the living room.

I don't want to bother you, Mr. Blake,
but our toaster's actin' up again.

I think the voltage is
loose. Uh, Hazel, not now.

Well, I was just thinkin'
of your toast at breakfast.

It's all right, George.
It won't take a minute.

Now do you understand,
Harold? I think so.

What seems to be the
trouble with it, Hazel?

Well, it didn't pop up. Oh, Miss
Lewis, I forgot. You're still here.

This is Miss Lewis,
Harold's teacher.

This is Mr. Blake... Take off
your glasses... Stevie's father.

- Oh, how do you do?
- How do you do?

It's so hot and steamy in here,
your glasses is all fogged up.

- Got nice eyes, ain't she?
- Well, yes, but...

That ain't mascara, neither. Ask
her how Stevie's doin' in school.

How is Stevie doing?

- Oh, fine, fine. Uh, he's a nice boy.
- Thank you.

- Takes after his father.
- Hazel and I belong to
a mutual admiration society.

Oh, I admire Miss Lewis too. We didn't have
teachers like her when I went to school.

She just wears these,
you know, for readin'.

Oh, Hazel, I can't see
a thing without them.

Stanley, uh, your
coffee's getting cold.

You can fix that
old toaster later.

I'll be over in the morning
before breakfast, Hazel. I promise.

Swell. I mean, sure, Mr. Blake.

Oh, excuse me, Miss Lewis.
I'm glad to have met you.

Say, Miss Lewis, any chance of you
comin' over about 7:00 tomorrow morning...

to help Harold out
with his arithmetic?

Twelve dates in two weeks.
That's a record even for me.

And at the best places in town.

He must be loaded. Honey, George
Baxter says he's practically a partner.

And with the right kind of
wife, he could really go places.

Has he asked you yet? No,
not yet. But it won't be long.

I know all the signs.

Oh, boy. Cute and
smart and loaded.

Huh. It should happen to me.

Well, I may give a course after
I get my own M-R-S degree.

You won't have time, what
with the four kids and all.

I have a feeling they may just
be going to boarding school.

Better put an extra coat on
that one. That's the ring finger.

You're kiddin'? I was just
sitting under the next dryer.

How do you like
it? Oh, gorgeous.

What was she gettin', a
complete overhaul? The works.

Oh, closin' in for the kill.

And, Hazel, after
they're married, she's

going to send the
children to boarding school.

No! What are you going to do?

Oh, I don't know. But this is
a pretty desperate situation.

I may have to do
somethin' fiendish.

They don't look like
pancakes. Pancakes are flat.

They don't smell
like pancakes either.

Oh, well, they'll be better
than Mrs. Muldoon's.

They won't be as
good as Hazel's though.

Well, I'm sure they'll be
delicious whatever they are.

According to the
recipe, they're pancakes.

But any resemblance is purely
coincidental. Mrs. Muldoon's day off.

Oh, well, never mind. I
made a batch of popovers.

Oh, boy, swell! Great!

I doubled the recipe by mistake.
Mr. B. couldn't possibly finish all those.

- It's a shame to
have them go to waste.
- Hazel, I love you.

Why don't you
marry her like I said?

I hear your daddy's
got other plans.

What other plans?
Never you mind.

You just go find your brother
and sister for breakfast. Don! Linda!

Don! Linda! How did you know?

Well, I figured you been
seein' her almost every evenin'...

As long as you
guessed anyway, look.

Oh, gorgeous.

Almost big enough to
hang on a chandelier.

Yeah. I plan to pop the question
at dinner tonight. Wish me luck.

Oh, I do.

I tried to call her a few minutes
ago to make the date for tonight.

- But I guess she isn't up yet.
- Oh, she's up. She's over at our house.

- At this time in the morning?
- Oh, sure. She came over
for breakfast.

She said she had somethin'
she wanted to talk over with Mr. B.

Oh. Well, I'll call
her at home later.

- Have you told the kids?
- No. I wanted to wait and see
if she accepted me first.

And then that gives me a chance
to break it to them kind of gradually.

- They like her?
- Well, I'm sure they will. Who wouldn't?

Of course, they haven't seen much of her.
Mimi and I have been going out to dinner.

- Oh.
- Actually, I guess they've only
seen her a couple of times.

Oh. Well, after you have your breakfast,
why don't you come over to our house?

You could arrange
your date for tonight.

Well, but if she's
talking to George...

Oh, she'll be dyin' to see you.
She can't talk about nothin' else.

Really? Okay, Hazel, I'll come.

Now, sit down. I'll
get your breakfast.

Oh, boy, I ate too many popovers.
Mmm. They were delicious.

Well, now, Mimi, what's this
matter you wish to discuss?

Well, it's just a crazy thought
that came to me during the night.

I'm afraid you're gonna
think I'm a silly girl.

No. No, I won't.
Oh, yes, you will.

You're a lawyer and you have
such a marvelously logical mind.

Silly me. All I'm good for is doing
work for charities and things like that.

Well, uh, tell me about it.

You remember my
ex-husband? Fred.

No. Frank. Fred was the
one before. Oh, excuse me.

Frank is doing very well financially.
Very well. And I'm happy for him.

I am not one to hold a
grudge, you know that, George.

I guess that's why I do so much
for charity. I just love people.

Oh, Mimi, I know you do.

Now Frank is paying me alimony.

Alimony is tax deductible,
isn't it, George? Oh, yes.

So, in effect, you could say that
it really isn't costing him anything.

Isn't that right?
Well, not exactly.

Well, at least it's costing him
very little, and he can afford it.

He's done so well
since we broke up.

Now if I remarry... Oh,
do things look that way?

I think so. Oh, good. Very good.

Thank you, George.

Now I don't want to do anything
illegal or immoral or anything like that.

But I do have to consider
the charities I support.

The orphanages and
hospitals and things like that.

So is there any way...

that we could make Frank
keep on paying me alimony?

You mean, if you remarry?

Yes. No!

Mr. B., Mr. Blake's here.

Oh, hiya, Stan.
Oh, Stan, darling.

Mmm. How are you this morning?

Good morning, Mimi. Now
that I'm with you, I'm fine.

I'm just fine. Oh, don't
they make a terrific couple?

Yes... Yes, they do. I can
almost smell the orange blossoms.

How about dinner
tonight? I'd love it.

This is going to be a
very special evening.

So I want to go
someplace very special.

What about the Candlelight
Room? French cuisine. Oh, it's terrific.

How do you know? I
know the chef. Polish fella.

We went to grammar
school together.

Candlelight Room okay?
Well, I... I don't know.

Oh, it's really snazzy. It's
got soft music and everything.

Even candles on the table. It's so
dark, you can hardly find the plate.

Hazel, don't overdo it. Oh, well,
Mr. Blake couldn't take her to his house.

Those kids would nearly
drive Miss Andrews crazy.

They would not, darling. I
think your children are charming.

Oh, well, maybe I
got kind of out of line.

- Maybe you would like to
spend an evening with them.
- Well, of course I would.

Oh, well, then you can
have dinner there after all.

Well, yes. Oh, but not tonight.

It's Mrs. Muldoon's day off. Oh,
darling, I'm sorry. I would have loved it.

Well, I... I guess we'll just have to
have dinner at the Candlelight Room.

Oh, you wouldn't want to
disappoint her, Mr. Blake.

It's my night off too. So
I can fix dinner for you.

Oh, I couldn't let you do
that, Hazel. Certainly not.

Oh. Well, I was kind of lookin' forward
to makin' a few extra bucks on the side.

- You mean
you'd let me pay you?
- Sure. Five bucks an evenin'.

- It's a deal!
- All right then.

I'll fix your dinner for you
in front of the fireplace.

A little card table
just for the two of you.

You know, soft music,
candles, the works.

Sound nice? Well,
yes. Very nice.

And I'll feed the
kids in the kitchen.

Because if she had to eat at the same table
with them, it'd drive her almost crazy.

Darling, they would not. I
think your children are adorable.

Oh, well, fine. Then I'll feed you
all together at the dining room table.

Okay, Miss Andrews? Well,
of course it's okay. It's perfect.

Sweetheart, you're
upset. Well, yes, darling.

I... I'm... I'm... I have an
appointment and I'm late.

Come on. I'll walk you to the
car. See you later, George, Hazel.

Hazel Burke, you
have a diabolical mind.

I don't know what you're talkin'
about, Mr. B. Oh, yes, you do.

You think Stan will change his mind about
Mimi when he sees her with his family.

Well, you're all wrong,
because she loves children.

Oh, well, then I ain't so
diabolical after all, huh, Mr. B.?

There we are. Now
do you need anything?

Not a thing, Hazel. Thank
you. If you do, just yell out.

Ouch! Stevie
pinched me! I did not.

I was holding my fingers like this
and she stuck her leg in between them.

All right, you two,
that's enough.

- Have you ever had a wart?
- A what?

- A wart.
- Good heavens, no.

- They don't come from toads.
- Well, I didn't say they did.

Where do warts come from?

- Mavis, that's enough
talk about warts.
- Okay.

How old are you? Oh, he
should never have asked that.

- Stan!

- She's over 21 and
that's all you need to know.

Why are your eyelashes so black?

That's makeup, sweetheart.

It looks sticky.
They are sticky.

All right, Stevie.

If you close your eyes,
can you open them again?

Of course, I...

Of course, I can,
sweetheart. See?

Oh. I think your eyes are
beautiful. Oh, thank you, dear.

Daddy, can I have
some eye makeup?

No, Linda, you can't. I've
told you a dozen times.

- But if you don't think it
looks cheap on her, then why...
- Linda, that's enough.

Stanley, I am going out of my...

- It's probably for me.
- Hazel will answer it.

A lot of the kids are comin'
over to play records tonight.

Somebody probably wants
to know what time to come.

Hazel will answer it.

Hi, Mr. B. How you doin'?

I'm doing fine. I just want
to be sure you're doing fine.

Hazel, I want your word of honor
you won't sabotage Miss Andrews.

Oh, Mr. B., I wouldn't
do a thing like that.

I'm just lettin' nature
take its course.

By the sound of things,
nature just took it.

Hold on a sec.

Oh, it's just terrible!
Quickly, give me a towel!

Oh, for Pete's sake, what
happened? Mavis spilled her milk.

That little brat just
ruined a $200 dress.

Brat? Yes, brat! All of them!

They don't belong at a dining
table! They belong in a zoo!

A zoo? Yes, zoo!

And I'm getting out of here!

I see. Well, I'll
drive you home.

Don't bother! I can walk!

That's perfectly
all right with me.

Hi, Mr. B. Was you
gettin' good reception?

See you later. Oh, Mr. B.,
keep out of that refrigerator.

Miss Lewis? Hazel.

I'm over at the Blakes' and little Stevie's
havin' trouble with his arithmetic.

I was wonderin' maybe you could
drop over and give him a hand?

Good. I'll save
you some dessert.

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