All language subtitles for SupermanXXX A PornParody 2011

Throughout recorded history, the people
of Krypton

have existed in perfect harmony with one
another, with our planet.

But that precious balance would have
been undermined if, had General Zod, our

own security minister, succeeded in his
plan to start a new order.

This new order, as he called it, would
have sown chaos throughout the planet,

turning our own good people of Krypton
against the ruling council of elves.

disposing of eons of diplomatic
principles.

If Zod's plan had worked, the people of
Krypton would have not only accepted

this tyranny, they would have begged.

I now place the fate of these three in
the hands of the ruling council.

What say you?

Guilty.

Guilty.

Guilty.

Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. The verdict must
be unanimous, Joel.

The final decision now rests with you,
and I will hold you alone responsible

if we are condemned.

Guilty.

You have not heard the last of me, Jor
-El. There is no prison that can hold

You and your heirs will kneel before me.

You will kneel before Zod.

Ladies and gentlemen, the captain has
turned on the seatbelt sign. We are

expecting just a tiny bit of turbulence
up ahead.

So please, return to your seats and keep
your seatbelts fastened. Thank you.

I'm not liking this weather a bit.

Ah, who gives a shit?

Wine transcontinental special.

Roger that.

Can I get you two anything before I take
my seat?

More jet fuel.

Guys, I am not bringing you any more
whiskey.

How else are we going to pass the time?

Maybe Jenny could show us what's under
her blouse.

Come on, again?

It's a long flight.

But the turbulence, I need to take my
seat.

It's a 747, it's a plane flight, so...
You need to take your seat right here.

That's an order.

Well,

she put it that way.

All right!

Cocky party!

If you put all the numbers together...

Statistically speaking, airline travel
is still the safest way to fly.

I mean, the chances of anything actually
happening are almost slim to none.

Statistically speaking.

Let me go ahead and get my balls out of
the hangar.

there we go yeah that's winning some
crap there oh yeah here

let

me get a little closer for you there you
go

Fuck you, right there. Did it hurt you?

Yeah.

Yeah, why not hurt you with my penis?

You're not even trying. There you go.

That's flying the friendly.

Woo!

Oh, yeah.

Oh,

yeah.

Getting right back on my co -pilot
stick.

Let's get up on mine here. Turn around.

They didn't get up there?

Oh, yes!

Change the flight plan. I think so. Get
your hats up there.

Take control of that thing.

All right, all right, Cap.

Oh,

my goodness.

I am such a dirty co -pilot. Oh, my
goodness.

Who's the dirty co -pilot? Who's the
dirty co -pilot? I'm the dirty co

I think I should get up to the top of
the door. You want some of this? Yeah.

me get in there for a cup.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh.

You like it right there?

Yeah! Fuck yeah, came out of my fucking
car. Get in there.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

I'm gonna try and take it up 10 ,000
feet. You're the captain.

I don't even know what I'm gonna do.

I watch Gage as I can.

Bye.

You, sir.

Yeah. We need to check the guidance
control.

Have a seat right here.

We're going to have to do it manually.

Take my chair.

You know what? You want to be quiet?

Take my chair. I get to be quiet? Sit
here.

Sit here.

You.

Climb up on that.

That's what it's like in Thailand.

You got no idea.

You know, this is really no good. I'm
going to take us up to a thousand feet.

After that, I don't know what I'm going
to do.

Oh. Oh.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes.

You are the captain. Oh, I'm the
captain. You are the captain.

I'm the captain. Oh, good.

Captain. Oh, yes.

Mutiny. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Oh, good. Fucking captain. Captain.

Try to get this altitude.

Yeah, keep it fast. Keep it fast.

More turbulence.

More turbulence.

Oh, yeah.

He's coming apart.

Oh,

yeah,

yeah.

Oh, God, yeah.

Fuck.

Oh, you need some water? Thank you. Hey.

I got you.

A little bit more of this.

Yeah, hold on.

I'll get it on the intercom. I'll get
you some water.

Only those do it. Only those do it.
Yeah,

I know. That's what's funny about it.

Captain speaking.

Students, please attend to the main
cabin.

Students, please attend to the main
cabin.

We're needing some refreshments.

Thank you very much.

You're almost going to be caught.

I can fix this.

I'm the captain. I know how everything
works.

There you go.

Oh yeah, fucking Halloween soon.

We got a fire engine too! Fire control!

Buckle up! Fire control!

And freeze!

Lock and roll. Flight 303.

Hydraulics are out.

Ensign number three is out.

We're going down.

It's the Mayday. Mayday.

Oh,

I shouldn't have had that beef.

Ladies and gentlemen, it's your captain
speaking.

We're experiencing some technical
difficulties with the formula.

I'm taking the plane to a lower
altitude.

Please refrain from moving out of the
cabin and fasten your seatbelts.

Can't light it.

Reiterate.

Throttle down.

I want photos of this so -called flying
man. You got it, kid? I don't care how

you do it. Just bring him to me. I want
photos of him up in the air. I want

photos of him on the ground.

I want photos of him with his mother.

I don't care. Get me every angle, but
get him to me like yesterday. You got

I'm on it, Chief.

Don't call me Chief.

Chief, I got one of the bankers to talk.

I'm going to break this story wide open.

Front page, banner headline.

Jeepers, Lois. You always get the best
scoop.

Every time.

Is that a story I can't break, Jimmy?

Listen, the bankers are ass on page two.
I got something better for page one.

Flying man saves doomed 747.

Flying man? Listen, find out who he is.
I want to know everything about him. I

want to know what he had for breakfast.
I want to know what color his shoes are.

I want to know where he lives. I want to
know everything. You understand that?

Hey, and listen, I got a new reporter
coming. His name is Clark.

Clark Kent.

He'll be sharing your desk.

Why don't you show him around?

So I was looking at it, and it kind of
looked like he had a rash.

No, it wasn't white. It was yellow and
kind of slimy on overalls.

Yeah? Clark Kent?

I'm the new reporter.

Oh, Mr. White is not away.

Oh, swell.

Thank you.

So, did you actually be the flying man?

Uh -huh.

About six foot four?

Dark hair.

And what was he wearing?

Pajamas?

All right.

The story keeps getting weirder and
weirder.

Hey, you must be the new guy.

Hi.

I'm Jimmy, the on -site photographer.
This is Lois, the best investigative

reporter in the city.

Call me Lois.

Your desk is right there.

And be a doll, Clark, and fetch me a
coffee, black, two sugars.

Sure thing, Lois.

That Clark Kent guy seems like a neat
fella.

Yeah, you two are perfect for each
other.

He was more powerful than a locomotive.

Here you go, Lois.

Gee, Lois, I'm so sorry.

How did you do that?

Greetings, citizens of America. It is I,
Lex Luthor, the greatest criminal mind

of the century.

You're probably wondering why I've
interrupted every television channel to

you with my sublime presence.

I've come to give the people of
Metropolis fair warning. You have but...

Fifteen minutes left to live.

I've sent you a gift, a Minuteman
missile, and it's on its way now.

The great city of Metropolis and all of
its people will be little more than a

pile of ash.

Unless you deposit $100 million into my
Swiss bank account.

Tick -tock, America, the clock is
ticking.

Tick -tock, tick -tock.

Who the hell is this idiot?

15 minutes?

What are we going to do in 15 minutes?

We run another headline. That's what.

Excuse me. I think I'm going to be ill.

I'm sorry.

Didn't mean anything.

It's not a big shot.

It's a bird.

It's a flame.

No, it's... It's a guy in red
underpants. It is.

Gibbon, that flying man just dropped a
missile.

Can you remember sucking your dick for
nothing?

Uh... Look at that. A second missile?

We're doomed.

Doomed!

Thank you.

God. Oh my God.

Tell me what you are. Tell me.

Tell me.

I don't want to do it.

Yes. Oh, my God. Yes, it has to grow.

Fuck. Yes.

Thank you.

Oh my god, please tell me I'm gonna cum!

Please tell me! Yes, yes, yes!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Thank you.

How was it that good?

Yes.

oh my god

Oh my god!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh my god, yes.

Holy shit. Holy shit. Just stroke my
cock. Just stroke it. Just stroke it.

stroke it.

I'm gonna fucking cum.

Damn it! Who is this man in red
underpants?

And what business does he have
interfering in the plans of the great

I'm sure it's just a temporary setback,
Lex, baby.

You can destroy Metropolis next time.

But first I must destroy this Superman.

If anyone can do it, you can, Lexi.

Miss Tessmacher, are you patronizing me?

Of course. Of course not, Lex.

I just think that you need to take some
more time off.

You know, relax, unwind.

The world will be here tomorrow, and
then you can destroy it.

For once, Miss Tessmacher, I think you
may have a point.

Amen.

Yeah, I'm going to test my butt.

Yes, Lexi, baby.

Oh, yes, Mrs. Walker.

Oh, good.

I love you.

You like that, don't you? Yes, I do.

Yeah, look how hard that cock is.

That little mouth makes you want to bite
your mouth.

It's real hard.

You're so very good at your job, Ms.
Testlocker.

Yeah, take that cock from you.

Make that dick sound so good.

Oh, God.

Yeah. You like the way I grab that
fucking cock? Mm -hmm.

Yeah. The sound you make when it's in
your mouth.

You like that, Ms. Tess Moffitt?

Oh, I love it, Lexi.

Oh, yes.

Oh.

Oh, you beat my dad.

Who's the greatest criminal mind of our
century?

You are, Lex.

Lexi, baby, you're a genius.

Oh.

Oh.

I'm going to tell you that I'll hold
you. You're going to give it to me.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.
Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.
Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.
Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.
Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.
Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh

hit my fucking -

Big ass chicken.

There he is, Mr. Tessmacher.

Oopsie. Mr.

Tessmacher, what are you doing?

Yeah, get inside that pussy.

Yeah.

I want you deep in that fucking pussy.

I want you deep in that pussy.

Just fucking that fat fucking pussy.

Fuck me now.

Yeah. Mm -hmm.

Fucking crazy

I feel their fucking dick. I feel their
fucking dick. They're rubbing me in the

pussy. Oh, yes.

Oh, yes. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, I couldn't fucking think that.

I make you want to fucking come.

I make you want to come. Are you going
to give it to me, Lexi, baby? Are you

going to give it to me, Lexi, baby?

All over my fucking pretty little face?

Yes.

Give it to me.

What types of miserable creatures could
possibly live here?

We will have our answer shortly.

Kneel, creature.

Kneel on this, Zorro.

It's Zod.

Not particularly bright creatures.

Kill them? They can't kneel.

Look Zod, this Superman wears the emblem
of Jor -El.

So he does.

We seem to have landed on a planet that
bears the kin of Jor -El.

Daily Planet must be the seat of this
world's government headquarters.

We will go there.

There is much kneeling to be done.

I want you to find Superman, Lois.

Get me an exclusive interview, and I
guarantee you'll be looking at the next

Pulitzer. A Pulitzer?

You sure know how to talk to a lady,
Chief.

Great Caesar's ghost!

Your government's defenses are pitiful.

This planet will be ours within the
hour.

Who's in charge here?

She's our head writer.

Head writer?

That's an interesting term for a world
leader.

World leader?

Listen, Bob, I don't know what planet
you're from, but... Violent!

Show them who's in charge now.

Now, head writer, kneel before Zod.

Listen, I don't know what you're trying
to accomplish here, but... Pay homage to

the new head writer. Now.

Of course I couldn't act like I really
enjoyed it, but in reality, it took so

long and I couldn't wait to get fucked
by these three super villains.

Knock knock knock knock knock

Witch!

You dirty crap.

I don't know.

You like that don't you?

Nancy? Oh, Clark.

There are three people in Perry's
office. I think Perry's dead.

And... And Lois!

Lois is... Lois?

Ha ha!

You're too late.

Son of Joel, I've already claimed
authority over this planet and its

leader. Just look at her face.

It's not what it looks like, Superman. I
mean, it was just a blowjob, and

technically, that's not even sex.

Before this day is done, you too will
kneel before me, Superman.

No, Zod. I'm going to finish the job my
father started.

Kneel! Kneel, super fraud!

Kneel!

Kneel, super fraud!

Superman? No!

At last, my revenge is complete!

This is impossible!

There's one thing you'll never
understand, Thud.

In Metropolis, Superman always wins.

It's a good thing I always keep an extra
Phantom Zone crystal on my cape.

Not to mention... an extra baby wipe.

Superman, thank you so much. I just need
to come through.

I'll see you in the news.

But what about an interview?

Perry!

Chief, it's all over. Chief!

Take her. She's in charge. It's over,
Chief. They're gone.

Forget

it, Clark.

Superman already saved the day.

Are you hurt?

No, but... I think I'm in love.

In love?

That's super!

Superman? I hope I'm not interrupting.

No, no, not at all.

I was just... I was afraid I'd never see
you again.

I thought you'd like an interview.

I've been thinking it's probably a good
idea for the people of Metropolis to

know who I am.

Will you help me tell my story?

Would I?

I... I... Is that a yes?

Of course.

Here, have a seat.

Thank you.

My pleasure.

Would you like a glass of wine?

No, thank you.

I never drink when I fly.

Okay.

Let's start from the very beginning.

Where were you born?

I was born in a faraway galaxy, on a
planet named Krypton, though it had been

engulfed by a dying star.

Before my planet died, however, my
father sent me to Earth.

Hmm.

And why do you have a superpower?

Well, my molecular structure is far more
dense than Earth's humans.

That's what makes me virtually
indestructible.

Okay, well, other than flying and your
super strength, do you possess any other

superpowers?

I can see through pretty much anything.

You can?

Only when I try, of course.

Okay, Superman.

What color panties am I wearing?

Pink.

And you're, um, shaved.

Superman?

Do you always fly solo?

Yes. Oh.

Would you like to fly with me?

I thought you'd never ask.

Can you hear my thoughts?

Do you know how much I want to fuck you?

I bet you have a super cock.

Oh.

Well,

they don't call me the man of steel for
nothing.

Hmm.

I'm off to defend truth justice in the
American way.

But will I ever see you again?

I've only just begun to tell you my
story.

Miss Tessmacher, I believe we found
Superman's one weakness.

Lex, baby, you're a genius.

Oh, I know.

I know.