Original subtitles

I'll take Sweden

ya, ya, ya.

I'll take Sweden

ya, ya, ya.

It feels great to be getting home.

2 big weeks on the road for the company,

3 postcards from jojo, my daughter.

I remember the last thing she said to me before I left:

"Daddy, I'm givin' up boys and beach parties.

This time I mean it."

Oh, no. Not again.

That's what I like. Judo with a beat.

Jojo.

Daddy! You're home.

Yeah, what's left of it.

Where's Eloise?

Well, this is her day off.

I wish I had her timing.

Hey, gang. This is my daddy.

I guess they don't want any truck with earth people.

Oh, never mind them.

The only one I want you to meet is Kenny.

Who's Kenny?

He's only Mr. Right.

Oh, I think I know a bill Wright.

No, no, that's not his name.

That's the way I feel about him.

Oh.

His name is klinger.

It figures.

That's him.

Oh, isn't he somethin' else?

You could say that, yes.

Hey, wait a second, gang. Wait a second.

Dig this.

Would you like my last name?

Will it go with your first name?

Ah, jojo, Mary, Peggy-sue

which one shall I give it to?

You, you, you, you?

Or you, you, or you?

Would you like my last name?

If you take my last name

I'll hug you, kiss you, squeeze you tight

which one of you is right?

You, you, or you?

Nobody knows better than me

how to make a little girl happy

on your little finger I'll give you a ring

I'll give my little girl everything

would you like my last name?

Forever, my last name

oh, Betty, jojo, Peggy-sue

which one shall I give it to?

You, you, you, you?

Or you, you, you, you?

You? You? You? You?

It's you!

Yes!

I'm dying for you to meet him.

I'll bring him right over.

What do you want to see, my I.D. card?

This is Kenny.

Hi! Hi.

Seen jojo around since she was nothin'.

Suddenly, wham.

Yeah, that "wham" is what's aging me rapidly.

You still going to school?

No, I blew it.

That's a big mistake. Shouldn't quit school.

Oh, he didn't quit. He was kicked out.

Just couldn't make that study route.

Well, the work route isn't bad.

Kenny doesn't have to work.

His grandmother left him $1,200.

$1,200?

With that kind of dough and a credit card, you've got it made.

Gee, glad you're home, Mr. Holcomb.

There's something jojo and I want to talk to you about.

I... I don't think now's the time.

Daddy's had a trip and he's tired.

Oh, I think the news might pep him up.

You see, Mr. Holcomb,

jojo and I want to get married.

You?

Yeah, we're gonna make a stab at holy deadlock.

Come on outside. I need some air.

Hey, wait a minute.

Did I hear you right in there?

Yes, he asked me to marry him.

Isn't it dreamy?

Yeah, the kind of dream I have after I've eaten

a chiliburger with everything on it.

Daddy.

Well, you can't just go plunging into marriage.

We're not plunging.

You haven't even got a job.

I told you, his grandmother left him $1,200.

That's nice work, but it isn't very steady.

Oh, when that's gone, we can play it by ear.

Oh, I'd be proud of you,

you'd be the youngest couple on relief.

Where are you gonna live? In the park?

In my trailer.

Trailer?

Yeah.

Look, look. This all happened too suddenly.

I'd like to know you better, Kenny.

I'd like to know you better too, dad.

Dad.

Hey, look, I got a great idea.

Why don't come up to my place tomorrow

and we'll kinda kick things around?

In the trailer?

Oh, yes. You'd love the trailer.

It's got everything.

And, uh, I can say the same for your daughter, dad.

Dad?

Hey, come on, man!

Let's pick up the beat, the party's pooping.

Yeah! Right, man, right!

Dang, dang, dang-a-dang, dang, dang, dang, dang-a-dang

bells keep on ringing

in my ding, ding, a-ding-a-ding, ding ding

bells keep a ringin'

in my ding ding, a-ding-a-ding, ding ding

bells keep a ringin' in my head, dang

dang-a-dang, dang dang down down

a-dang-a-dang down

dang-a-dang down dang-a-dang, dang dang

bells keep a ringing in my head

ding, ding, dang-a-dang dang.

Why do we have to meet Kenny here?

Well, it's a little tricky getting to his place.

He thought it'd be easier if he picked us up.

You know, honey, I've been thinking that you and Kenny

ought to have a little more time to know each other.

You're pretty young to get married.

Well, mother was my age when you married her.

Yeah, but I was no retired dropout,

I had a job.

From everything you told me about her,

I think she would have married you

even if you didn't have one.

Yeah, well, I can't argue with that.

I just want to make sure

that you're gonna be as happy as we were.

Daddy, you don't really know Kenny.

You just saw him cutting loose at a party.

There's another side to him.

He's steady and reliable.

I'm sorry we didn't have time to lengthen the runway.

Excuse me, just want to show you what kind of brakes I have,

so you won't worry about jojo driving with me.

Oh.

Well, where do I sit,

or do I just run along the side?

Well, I'll take jojo up first, then I'll come back for you.

Hop aboard, Mr. Holcomb.

I wear this?

Uh,

you don't have the regular containers, huh?

Here we go.

I hope you've got insurance.

They won't give me any till I get my driver's license.

I'd like to see the chaplain.

You all right, Mr. Holcomb?

Chrome kneecaps.

If you've got a glove compartment,

I'd like to crawl in.

Don't take any shortcuts.

Hey, look, a road block.

Hi, daddy.

What's your zip code?

Next time I come, I'll mail myself.

Come on in and look around.

Who designed this thing? Toulouse-lautrec?

Oh, you get used to it, Mr. Holcomb.

It's just a little small at first.

What happens later? We all shrink?

Oh, it may seem tiny, daddy,

but it has everything we need.

Look at the kitchen.

Oh, that's nice and petite.

Where do you keep your dish?

Listen, Mr. Holcomb, why don't you sit down and just take it easy?

Oh, boy.

Oh.

You see, w-when you sit, you'll have to sit softly.

Where were you when my head was hard?

Where'd you buy this thing?

He didn't have to buy it.

His grandmother left it to him.

Had she loved him, she'd have taken it with her when she left.

She also left me the ground it's on.

Oh, goody.

Another crazy man, crazy.

I don't believe we've been introduced.

Granny also left him to me.

Crazy Daisy.

Never knew the lady.

And we have all the modern conveniences.

See? A telephone.

A telephone up in this trap?

Yeah, man, I gotta keep in touch with the world.

And homemade electricity.

Kenny put it in himself so we'd save money.

Oh, it's no big deal. I just...

I just converted a generator from a submarine.

Here, I'll show you.

If you're looking for the cellar,

there isn't any.

Wait till you see the light it gives.

Turn it off, it's blinding me.

Don't stand there, turn me off, too.

Why do you always have to knock everything?

I think it's a wonderful trailer.

And you plan to spend the rest of your life

in this reject from a gypsy caravan?

Well, speaking of nights, where do you sleep in this lobster trap?

Oh, I've got a great bed.

Yes, it's real comfortable.

How do you know it's comfortable?

He told me.

Oh, good, take his word for it.

Why don't you try it, Mr. Holcomb?

It's got a great mattress and terrific Springs.

Lie down, daddy.

It will make your head feel better.

I should have it examined first.

Well,

that's not bad.

Help! Daddy!

Get me out of here.

I'll have you out in a jiff! Daddy!

Call the plumber.

Daddy!

All right, do something.

Call the fire department, anything.

Get me out of here.

Help!

Are you all right?

Oh, that does it.

You must be kidding about this place.

Look, take my advice, don't live in it.

Sell it to Disneyland.

Good evening, Mr. Holcomb.

You worked late tonight?

Yeah, it's been a rough day.

I've kept your dinner heated for you.

Thanks, Eloise.

Where's jojo?

She's out with Kenny.

Oh, they're probably at another drive-in movie.

How wrong can you go on a motor scooter?

They didn't go to a movie.

He took her someplace called the pink kitten.

The pink kitten?

You mean that place where the girls take off the...

You let Kenny take her to a strip joint?

How did I know? I thought it was a pet store

and they were going to look at pussycats.

Some pussycats.

Just a minute, mister.

You got a student-body card?

A what?

A student-body card. This is college night.

You need an education to know what's going on in there?

Just kids tonight.

Yeah, well, my daughter's in there,

and I'm taking her home.

Sorry. My orders are not to let anybody in

but kids.

But you come back

when we have a night for medicare.

Hey!

Oh.

Oh, pardon me.

Would you mind dimming your brights?

I have a... I'm looking for my daughter.

Oh. What's her specialty?

Oh, she doesn't work here. She's in the audience.

That's where I'm trying to get.

Oh, well, that's that way.

I don't think that's what Edison had in mind.

Listen, tell him to call me right away.

It's very important.

That's daddy!

Yeah.

Go!

Daddy! Daddy, down here.

What are you doing here?

How could you bring jojo to a place like this?

Why not? It's college night and all the cats are here.

And besides, she's not gonna see anything

she wouldn't see down at the beach.

Come on, take it off!

Yeah, come on!

But at the beach, they don't light up.

Come on, honey. Twirl.

Oh, no. She wouldn't.

She would.

Oh, she did it great, too.

Daddy, have you ever tried to twirl...

look, honey. You don't need this kind of entertainment.

That's it, folks!

The show's over. This is a raid.

Oh, that's just what we needed.

A raid.

Fine thing! Come on, honey.

Officer, I just brought...

serves you right for running around with a chick that young.

No, no, this is my daughter.

Of course.

And you left the adoption papers in your other suit.

Tell him you're my daughter.

Cool it, Clyde. They're hip to your action.

Oh, loan me your gun.

Let's go, chick.

No, really, it's my daughter.

And who's that up there? Your mother?

Mother.

This is you, sir. From bumper to rail-pipe.

And it does 120 in second.

I've got enough trouble getting out of low these days.

What I'm really looking for

is something for a getaway job.

A getaway job?

To get my daughter away

from a motorcycle built for 2.

Sorry I'm late, dad.

But I couldn't shake the fuzz off my trail.

You know somethin'? Those guys drive pretty good.

Yeah.

Well, I'm glad I caught up with you, Kenny.

Even if the cops couldn't.

But why here? I'm strictly a 2-wheel man.

2 wheels and one chick.

Well, Kenny, I've been thinking...

It shows.

Now, i... I know you love jojo.

I appreciate that. I really do.

And jojo loves you. Or thinks she does.

You must be a pretty nice guy.

Now the shiv.

What I really wanna say is that

young people should be ready for love.

Mr. Holcomb, we're ready.

I mean in a practical way.

I know all this trailer and travel stuff

is adventurous and romantic.

But jojo's used to comfort, luxury.

So, if you'd really loved her,

you'd wait a little longer.

No, wait too long

and all you want to do is go bowling.

Isn't that right?

I've got nothing against you, Kenny.

It's just that jojo is

so young and immature and impulsive.

Not where it counts.

She's very impulsive.

You mean you're gonna try to stop us?

No, I just want you

to postpone things for a while.

You can go on seeing each other

as often as you like.

Like day and night?

No, I mean, like, uh,

give yourself another year or 2.

Then if you both still feel the same way

as you do now,

I'll not only give you my blessing,

I'll give you one of these for a wedding present.

This one?

With a stick shift and 4 forward speeds?

Why not?

Will it really do over 100?

In neutral,

something you can really stamp and steer.

Right through a safety zone.

I think you're beginnin' to read me, boy.

Well, I've been reading you all along, Mr. Holcomb.

You're trying to bribe me.

Now where'd you get that idea?

From you.

Look, let's cut the car talk, Mr. Holcomb.

I'll postpone getting married

if that's the way jojo wants it.

Can I tell her that?

No, I'll tell her.

We talk the same language.

Well, I'd like to throw in a little fatherly advice.

Better watch how you handle it.

You know, most girls think their fathers are l7.

L7?

Yeah.

"L," 7. Put them together and what have you got?

A square?

You said it, Mr. Holcomb.

Gentlemen, ahem,

this, uh, this chart shows conclusively

that our revenue from the Scandinavian countries

is dipping dangerously.

Now, uh, our products

are as good as those of our competitors.

So quality can't be the answer.

What does this indicate?

To me, it spells manpower,

or more accurately, lack of it.

How do we solve this problem?

Simply by coming up

with the right man for the right job.

Problem is to

find the right man for the right job in Sweden.

I'll check your files as quickly as possible

and let me have your recommendations.

Thank you.

Got somebody in mind, Bob?

There's no way out. I have to step in right now.

You, why you?

Well, they're too young to... You...

I mean, Sweden's a very young country

and someone has to...

Well,

what I mean is... I don't know what I mean,

I hardly slept a wink last night.

Well, you'll have to talk to my doctor.

He can't sleep either.

What about Sweden, Bob?

Who are we going to send?

It's not fair to most of our good men,

uprooting them and their families,

shipping them off to a strange country.

True.

On top of that,

you'll have to work day and night.

Sounds rough.

It's really the worst assignment

in our entire organization.

Good, I'll take it.

You'll what?

It's my daughter, Mr. Dow.

Sweden's a good 6,000 miles from here,

and that's how far I want to take her.

Well, what kind of boy

don't you think is right for her?

He's a trailer nut, plays guitar and sings.

That's all I need for a son-in-law,

a poor beatle.

You're lucky.

Mine runs around with a barefoot poet

who spouts iambic pentameter

to the beat of a bongo drum.

I'll trade you even.

You think Sweden's far enough?

I think so. His trailer doesn't have pontoons.

You're making a great sacrifice

to leave here.

Another year, you'd be a vice president.

I appreciate that, Mr. Dow,

but I couldn't be happy as a vice president,

if I wasn't happy with myself as a father.

It's your life, Bob.

Thank you.

Now, to tackle something a lot tougher than the vice presidency.

Getting my daughter on that plane to Sweden.

That means, "Sweden, here we come."

Thanks for the news bulletin.

A little hors d'oeuvre before dinner?

Oh, thanks, I think I will. Jojo?

Hey, you know what you are in Swedish?

You're a flicka.

In america, I'm a schnook.

Oh, come on, honey. Study your dictionary,

so you'll understand all the compliments

those handsome Swedish men will be paying you.

Men.

I hope I never see Kenny again

as long as I live.

Has he upset you?

How could he do this to me?

A girl can't trust anyone anymore.

Does that include me?

If I told you what happened, would you be sympathetic?

Would you understand?

No, but tell me anyway.

Look at this.

This is the telegram he sent me.

And I was dumb enough to cry over it.

"Bye-bye, baby.

"Ran into a chick who digs me but deep,

"so I'm off to leave my heart in San Francisco,

"if my bike can make it.

"It was fun while it lasted.

Kenny."

Fun.

I loved him and he calls it fun.

Oh, come on, honey, now stop that.

Look,

would it make you feel any better

if I told you I sent that telegram?

That's a good try.

No, it's true.

After all, you're so young and he's so wrong for you.

I had to do something to break it up.

Well, if you sent the telegram,

and he didn't know about it,

why didn't he answer the phone when I called him to tell him

that I was never going to see him again?

Because he was in San Francisco

at the time.

I sent him a telegram, too.

I offered him a job singing at the purple radish.

I even wired him money for the trip.

You're a monster.

I'm a father.

Same thing.

Why didn't he call before he left?

He did.

But Eloise told him you couldn't come to the phone

on account of your measles.

And he didn't even send me flowers?

He did that, too. Wild flowers.

And they were lovely.

I burned them at midnight in the incinerator.

Is there anything you forgot to do?

Now, that's the last question I'll ask

since I'll never speak to you again.

Oh, honey.

You just need a little time to cool off.

Kidnapping your own daughter.

If you weren't my father, I'd report you to the f.B.I.

You'll get over it, you just wait and see.

You'll love Sweden. It's a great spot.

Marriage? I'm not the type.

I'm too busy living up

to what your American magazines say

about our morals here in Sweden.

With every girl you meet?

One lives only once.

Lufthansa flight 212 from Los Angeles

is now arriving.

There is the plane I have to meet.

See you next Tuesday.

Your apartment or mine?

Did he give you the same bit he gave me?

"Darling, don't you know I love you.

Why don't you let me try to prove it to you?"

That's standard equipment for him.

Why doesn't he try his line on Swedish girls?

He's a firm believer in international trade.

Oh, Mr. Holcomb.

I'm Erik stenson, your office manager.

Oh, nice to meet you, Erik.

How did you recognize me?

I was told you'd be accompanied

by your lovely young daughter.

Welcome to Sweden.

Remember what I told you on the plane?

Shall we? Oh, uh.

That means, "with pleasure."

You're right.

Oh, allow me.

In our country, we place our women on pedestals.

You'd be surprised

how much fun you can have on a pedestal.

I'm engaged to be married.

I may go back to america tomorrow.

Oh, that would be Sweden's loss.

Also mine.

Maybe we'd better put the car

in the luggage.

Mr. Holcomb.

Yes?

I'm sorry there was not room enough in the car

for both you and the luggage.

Oh, that's all right.

Every car should have a lookout.

That is our royal palace,

of which naturally we are very proud.

It's nice, if you like a lot of rooms.

We are even more proud of our art museums.

Are you interested in art?

Have you got the wrong girl.

She just digs the watusi and motorcycles.

I'm nuts about art.

I mean, i... well, I adore it.

Naturally, beauty attracts beauty.

I hope I can teach you to like Sweden.

As long as I'm stuck here,

I might just give you the chance.

I hope you like your new home.

I took the Liberty of having it redecorated for you.

Does it have high ceilings,

or will I have to sit with my head through the roof?

I'll say one thing.

Sweden's a very beautiful country.

Oh.

And the people are friendly, too.

They don't have a rest stop on that bus?

Well, Mr. Holcomb, how do you like it?

Oh, it's great. It doesn't have

jalopies or motor scooters piled up in front of it.

Hello.

How do you do? How do you do?

How do you do? Hello.

Hilda. Ingemar. This is miss holcomb.

Oh, welcome. How do you do?

And her father, Mr. Holcomb.

Welcome to Sweden.

Oh.

You just said his mother is a goat.

Oh, strike that.

Uh.

Very good, sir.

Come, I'll show you the rest of the house.

Say, that's very thoughtful, having 2 phones.

Oh, yeah, I understand that in america

you cannot live in a house with a teenager

without 2 phones.

That's right. One for each ear.

Uh, this, of course, is the living room.

Oh, it's very attractive.

And right through there is...

Very attractive.

I was just trying some materials

for the porch chairs.

Hello, Mrs. Martoni.

May I introduce you to miss holcomb.

How do you do?

And to Mr. Holcomb.

How do you do?

How do you do, Mr. Holcomb?

The office recommended Mrs. Martoni

as an excellent decorator.

Remind me to give the office a raise.

Miss holcomb, may I show you the rest of the house?

Yes, fine.

Martoni sounds Italian, but you sound Swedish.

My husband was Italian.

Was?

I'm divorced.

Oh, on you, it looks lovely.

You care to sit down, Mrs. Martoni?

If you don't mind,

I prefer to use my maiden name,

granstedt.

You speak excellent English for a Swede.

Thank you.

And you speak excellent English for an American.

Touche.

Oh, Mr. Holcomb. We bring in the luggage,

then we go to our room?

You seem like a very happy couple.

You've been married long?

2 days, sir.

Well, skip the luggage.

You don't want to be too tired for your honeymoon.

You will stay for lunch?

Thank you, yes.

Jackass?

Oh, not exactly.

That's good.

And it's not an easy language.

Much too beautiful a day

to spend looking for furniture.

How about cocktails at the maritim?

We did that yesterday.

How about a ride through djurgarden park?

We did that the day before yesterday.

Then, how about you and I just...

Bob, if they're going to redecorate your house,

we have to look at furniture sometime.

I'd rather look at the sun glistening in your hair.

Do you talk to all your interior decorators that way?

Well, it's the first time I've ever had my interiors

done by anyone with your exterior.

Well, I think we've found nearly everything you need.

I feel the same way.

Now, for me,

that's the most important piece of furniture

in the house.

I don't know where the world would be without it.

Even the neighbors would enjoy it.

It could form the cultural center of your home.

I beg your pardon?

Don't you play?

Well, I like to kid around a little.

And I know just where to put it in the living room.

In the where?

In the corner by the window, under the large mirror.

I'm sure you'll be doing a lot of entertaining,

and it could bring something to your parties

that nothing else can.

Yeah, the vice squad.

Oh,

I think I was in the wrong key.

Oh, don't be embarrassed.

After all, I'm a woman and you're a man.

I'm glad I fit in there somewhere.

What's his problem?

He said we should take it home and try it.

Yeah, but I don't play the piano.

No. He meant the bed.

Say,

what you said,

that's pretty racy, even for a Swede.

Who's a Swede? I'm from Brooklyn.

When you're raising a daughter without the help of a mother,

you feel twice as responsible.

I've been doing it since she was 5.

She told me.

I've seen her through dolls, roller skates,

and those braces on her teeth.

For about 4 years,

she looked like she'd swallowed a t.V. Antenna.

You've done a beautiful job.

She's not only lovely,

but she's sensitive, intelligent.

She thinks you're pretty special, too.

And I second the emotion.

Daddy, I'll be home in time for dinner.

Oh, you're talking to me again?

Yes. Erik thought it was a good idea.

He hates his father, too, and he says it's wiser

to maintain a friendly relationship.

Otherwise, a parent can get a complex.

You mean I'm the one who's mixed up.

Well, I think maybe

you should talk to karin about it.

She understands.

Talk.

Where are you going?

I'm meeting Erik at the library.

The library?

Can you trust a man

who takes a girl to the library?

Daddy.

You know, I've just finished

these 2 books of Byron's poems,

and they are marvelous.

And Erik's gonna help me pick out some more.

Bye-bye.

Bye.

Boy, my daughter reading Byron.

Before she met Erik,

she never read anything deeper than li'l abner.

She's certainly learned a lot from that fellow.

Is that the continental approach?

In Stockholm, yes.

In Paris...

Ah,

I think you'd better stop before you get to Vienna.

Well,

back to Byron.

Do we have to go out?

Good night.

Erik again?

Yes. He's taking me to the national museum

to see a sculpture exhibit.

I couldn't think of a better way

to spend an evening.

Have fun, kids.

It must be your system of education over here.

No American boy would be this interested in culture.

Now I see why the sculptor

posed his models in this position.

It's so natural.

Hmm.

You have a very keen insight about sculpture.

Thank you.

This should brighten up the entrance.

Not as much as you do.

Well, how do I look?

Hey.

You sure you don't have blue jeans and sneakers under that?

No. I'm growing up now, thanks to Erik.

Wherever you go tonight,

I'm sure you'll be the prettiest girl.

Only if you're not there.

Where are you going?

Erik's taking me to the opera.

To the opera? Now that's the way a girl should spend an evening.

Oh, that's probably Erik now.

Have a good time.

You, too.

Good night. Good night.

Good night.

My jojo going to the opera.

You know what she'd be doing at home?

She'd be sitting with Kenny,

listening to records and smooching.

I love good music. And good books.

And I love...

What a difference 6,000 miles can make.

What a difference 6,000 miles can make.

What a difference the right man can make.

Daddy? I...

oh, I'm sorry, but I had to tell you something.

Both of you.

Tell us what?

Remember when I asked you

whether you could be in love with one person one day,

and another person the next?

Yeah.

Well, i... I found out you can.

Erik is Mr. Right.

Erik? Are you sure?

The last time you found Mr. Right,

he was the wrong right.

Daddy, I'm mature now.

I've crossed an ocean

to find the most wonderful man in the world.

Has he asked you to marry him?

Any day now. Any day.

"I have sighed for many, but I have loved just one."

Byron.

I'd better call Erik and kiss him goodnight

before he goes to sleep.

I'm very happy for you, Bob.

Oh, thanks, karin.

Looks like the smartest decision I ever made

was to come to Sweden.

For more reasons than one.

Thank you.

To us.

To us.

Darling, I want to ask you something.

Something very important.

Yes?

How would you like to spend my 2-week vacation with me?

You mean, like, on a honeymoon?

Like on a pre-honeymoon.

Is it better that way?

It's more sensible.

That is why there is such little divorce in Sweden.

People do not marry strangers.

Well, I should hope not.

They must first find out

if they are suited each other.

And are we suited for each other?

I'm sure we will discover that we are.

Just as my friends Greta and Axel found out

they were not.

So, they didn't get married?

Oh, they are happily married now,

but not to each other.

Uh, wasn't it fortunate

that they spent 2 weeks together

in kronbaden at the youth festival?

Erik, at these youth festivals...

In Sweden, we are very tolerant of nature.

That's very tolerant.

I have many interesting theories on the subject.

Would you care to hear about them?

I'm not sure.

Mmm.

Probably too shocking for a child like you.

I am not a child. I am a full-grown woman.

To that, I drink. Skal.

Skal.

Oh, good morning.

Oh, good morning.

I love to hear Swedish spoken as it should be.

It's like a good foreign movie.

I better get back to my desk.

So, tell me, how are things going?

I mean with you and jojo?

Couldn't be better.

Well, come into my office and tell me all about your plans.

Thank you.

You know, Mr. Holcomb, uh,

jojo and I have been seeing a lot of each other.

And I couldn't be more pleased.

Well, uh, we've talked things over

and we've come to a decision.

I think we ought to drink to that.

Oh, thank you, no. Not during business hours.

Oh, just one little one.

Besides, you're with the boss.

And what you're about to say isn't business, it's a pleasure.

Well,

times have changed, Mr. Holcomb.

They certainly have.

To progress.

Skal.

In the old days, a young girl, uh,

she would hardly take a walk with a fellow

unless she were properly chaperoned.

The last time that happened to me,

I wound up with the chaperone.

Hmm?

Just a little joke.

The sauce makes me a little gay.

But you're right.

Chaperones are primitive, absolutely primitive.

I'm glad to hear you say that.

Uh, am I interrupting anything?

No, no, come on in, jojo.

Alskling. I...

I was just going to tell you father about our plans.

You were?

Yeah, but, uh, now that you're here,

perhaps it would be wiser if you told him.

Well, somebody tell me so we can drink to it.

Oh, honestly, Erik, I don't think that my father

is quite ready for...

oh, come on, kids.

June is a beautiful month for you-know-what.

Well, you see, daddy,

every year they have a youth festival.

And Erik has asked me to go with him.

That sounds like good fun.

There's nothing more romantic than a day in the country.

This day lasts 2 weeks.

Yeah, well, you deserve a 2-weeks va...

2 weeks?

Well, its all the way to kronbaden.

Just the 2 of you?

You just drank to progress.

I don't call that progress.

I call it immoral and habit forming.

Daddy, I'm a big girl now.

And I don't want you getting any bigger.

You're not going anywhere with her

for 2 weeks unless it's on a honeymoon.

Oh, but, that would spoil it.

Spoil it?

Erik, tell him

about the low divorce rates in Sweden and why.

I know why. Nobody bothers to get married.

Jojo, how can you be so willing?

You're making me out a loose woman.

And I resent it.

You resent it? You're the one who's trying to loosen her,

you Scandinavian svengali.

You're being old-fashioned.

Don't give me that old-fashioned jazz.

Times have changed.

People think differently about sex than they used to.

Don't you lecture me about the birds and the bees.

The birds and the bees are younger now.

They have different ideas.

Yeah, your American teenagers

go to Miami or to palm Springs.

Ours go to kronbaden. What's the difference?

The difference is, it's my daughter

who's involved in this hayride.

You are trying to keep me a child.

I'm trying to keep you from having one.

Why must you be so provincial?

Go figure it.

We both left California on the same plane.

Well, no one,

absolutely no one is going to force me

into a marriage with a stranger.

Let's go, Erik.

Skal.

The most stupid decision I ever made

was to come to Sweden,

so jojo wouldn't make the mistake of her life.

Oh, I made the mistake of my life.

Karin, jojo thinks the world of you.

She really loves you, she respects you and,

well, she needs a mother desperately.

I would love to be

your wife and jojo's mother.

I accept.

Now, now, wait a minute, Bob.

Marriage isn't that simple.

There are things about me

you don't know.

I love everything about you.

As jojo's future mother,

you can talk her out of this.

I don't have the right to do that.

Sure you have.

Soon as I get a marriage license,

you'll be her mother.

Hello.

Hello, ingemar?

Will you call jojo to the phone?

Here. Just say what you'd say as her mother.

Well, I don't know too much about Erik,

but if they're really in love,

then it's none of my business.

You should be kicked out of the mother's union.

I thought you liked Erik.

Not when he talks like he's buying an automobile

and he won't buy one unless he tries it out.

Bob, the world is full of eriks.

Yeah, well, nobody's gonna chalk up

any mileage on jojo

without getting a driver's license first.

People are the same

the whole world over

one day you'll admit

you're just a rover

please come back

and then

and then

there'll be rainbows

again.

Snap out of it, Kenny.

How long can you let a torch burn?

I'd like to try to help you forget her.

If I ever get out of this mood,

I'll give you a jingle.

Take the hint, man. Jojo canceled you out.

Hello.

Who? From where?

Oh, come off it, lady,

I don't know anybody in Sweden.

Mr. Holcomb? Hey, gang, it's papa-bird.

Well, put him on, operator,

it's way past the man's bedtime.

Oh, hello, Mr. Holcomb. Yeah.

What're you doing up in the middle of the night?

Middle of the...

Oh yeah, well, that's the time difference.

Look, Kenny. Jojo needs you.

She's... she's on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

And if you still love her...

You do, don't you?

Well, sure thing, man.

You still want to marry her?

Of course.

Then I want you to hop the first plane over here.

But I can't go flying off to Sweden.

You mean you got a job?

No. But I'm due in traffic court.

I got a ticket for driving my motorcycle

into a theater that wasn't a drive-in.

Well, you call my office.

They'll take care of the ticket and give you the plane fare.

I'll cable Mr. Reiger there and he'll arrange everything.

I'll be waiting for you, son.

Whoo-hoo! Hey, gang, I'm gonna go to Sweden!

I'm gonna go to Sweden, I'm gonna go to Sweden.

Like I told you on the phone, Kenny,

jojo needs you.

Not as much as I need her.

Of course she may play a little hard to get, but don't let that throw you.

I don't throw easy, Mr. Holcomb.

You still love her, don't you?

The most.

But are you sure it's right surprising her this way?

This kind of shock in her delicate condition.

Please, don't use that expression.

We've gotta save this wonderful girl, Kenny.

You and I can do it.

Yeah.

Poor mixed-up kid. If I'd known she was that whacked out, i'd...

Kenny! I'm so surprised.

That makes 2 of us.

Pretty sneaky.

Why wasn't your car parked out front?

I always walk 5 miles a day to keep in shape.

For your specialty,

you ought to practice running.

Kenny, what are you doing in Sweden?

I made a wrong turn on the freeway

to San Francisco.

Yes, and I was shanghaied to Stockholm.

All I know is that you ran out on me. Not even a postcard!

I know I should've written, but I've been terribly busy.

Yeah, busy forgetting me.

Oh, she didn't forget you.

She never stops talking to Erik about you. Right, honey?

I didn't hear any conversation

when I walked in.

Oh, she was only warming up till you got here.

Perhaps, I should introduce myself.

I couldn't care less who you are.

That's no way to talk to my fiance.

And you said she was having a nervous breakdown.

No, she's all mixed up. Her lips are on Erik's, but her mind is on you.

A nervous breakdown?

Do you actually think I could fall apart

because of some silly childish romance?

It wasn't a silly childish romance.

Honey, you're a nice, wholesome, American girl.

And Kenny is a nice, wholesome, American boy.

He wants to marry you.

Without any youth festivals.

Perhaps it would be better if I took a walk.

Arrivederci.

You stay right here.

Fine. You stay, I'm leavin'.

Hey, Kenny. Kenny,

you're not gonna give up just like that?

Look, man, I know when I'm crowding the scene.

But, I know she doesn't love Erik.

Just like you knew she didn't love me.

You broke us up and now, you're trying to use me

to break them up.

Kenny. I'm tired of playing 3rd act

in your kooky combo, pop.

Look, Kenny, as soon as you calm down, go over and talk to Erik.

Tell him you really love jojo,

and as a gentleman he should step aside.

In his own ratfink way, he is a gentleman.

Still whaling the same lick, huh, pops?

Well, lemme tell you somethin'. You better play it solo

because this cat's going to go

to the nearest bar and get juiced!

I'm not in.

It's Mr. Klinger. He wants to talk to you.

Oh, send him in.

Well, Kenny, my boy.

Hi.

Here, sit down.

What're you here for, I hope?

Well, I took your advice, Mr. Holcomb.

When I calmed down,

I went to see Erik in his pad.

Did you tell him that, as a gentleman,

he should step aside and let you marry jojo?

Yeah, I told him.

But he said that he and jojo have an understanding

and that if I was any kind of a gentleman,

I'd step aside.

Yeah, but you won't, will you?

You got Erik all wrong, Mr. Holcomb.

He's a pretty nice guy.

In fact, he invited me to have dinner with him

and his English cousin, marti.

Well, if Erik's cousin's anything like Erik,

he must be pretty bad.

Marti is a girl.

She makes the playmate of the month look like a boy.

How can you be thinkin' about another girl

when you're in love with jojo?

What's to think about?

Jojo's got herself another guy

and she digs him.

So that makes me on the rebound, man.

And if I'm gonna bound,

marti's going to make a mighty soft landing field.

So I'm gonna stay right here and blow grandma's loot.

And another thing.

Marti's convinced me you were absolutely right.

Oh, that's a thinkin' girl.

She said young people

shouldn't go leaping into marriage.

And she invited me to a youth festival.

Kronbaden?

I guess jojo told you all about it, huh?

I hear it's the greatest.

Get me Mr. Dow in Los Angeles. Right away.

All right, all right, I'll send a replacement.

But it might take a while.

For this, you had to call me in the middle of the night?

Oh, I'm sorry.

It's, uh, just early afternoon here in Sweden.

I wasn't asleep in Sweden.

What kind of nuts

do you have working for you?

Holcomb is the best man in the entire company.

Tomorrow, I'm selling my stock.

I was a sane man

until my daughter hit her teens.

If she ever gets married, they'll have to take me

out of my straightjacket long enough to give her away.

Darling, try to be calm.

How can I be calm about a thing like this?

I was raised in america, where virtue triumphs

or the sponsor won't buy it.

So was jojo,

and her values are basically sound.

I'm sure she will do what is right for her,

eventually.

A lot of things can happen to her

between now and eventually.

Oh, no, jojo and I are goin' back to the states.

I'll be sorry to see you go.

You're not gonna see us go.

You're coming with us.

How long does is take to get married over here?

Bob, darling, i... I want us to be married.

You know that, but...

But what?

Marriage is too important to me.

I already lost once.

Then this is your chance to get even.

I made the mistake of marrying a stranger.

Stranger?

Well, my husband and I had known each other

for a year, but...

Bob, if we get married,

I don't want us to be strangers.

Erik.

Erik?

A female Erik. That's what you are.

This country is bed-happy.

This country?

And what about your country and all those motels?

Motels? Well, we drive a lot.

Yeah, you certainly do.

From the motels to the license bureau

to the divorce courts.

Or don't you believe in statistics?

I only believe in 2 things:

You and me.

But, how can I tell jojo

not to do what you want me to do?

Fine example I'd be showing her.

Then maybe we'd better forget about us.

Forget about us? Not a chance.

I'll do anything not to lose you.

No, no, Bob.

You've made it very plain how you feel.,

it'd be wrong of me not to respect your feelings.

Oh, now, wait a minute.

I gotta respect your feelings, too.

After all, I'm in your country.

What kind of a guest would I be

if I didn't have the decency to follow your quaint little customs?

No, no, i... I couldn't ask you to do anything

so much against your natural instincts.

It might create guilt feelings that would make you neurotic.

Other things can make you neurotic, too.

Oh, I see what you mean.

Why don't we both give in a little?

I'll be a little Swedish, you be a little American

and we'll meet on neutral territory,

Switzerland.

But discreetly, like,

I'll be on a business trip and guess who I bump into?

I hear it's very beautiful in Zurich,

but is it necessary to travel so far?

Not really, as long as jojo thinks I'm there.

But, I still can't do it.

I can't leave jojo in the same town

with Erik.

Why not?

Well, if I go away, he might decide to hold

his own youth festival right here in town.

Well, I guess there's no solution for us.

Wait a minute.

While I'm away on a phony business trip,

I'll send Erik on a real one.

International oil has some pressing business

in Saudi Arabia

and I'll send Erik there to press it.

I know just where we can go.

It's in the mountains. Hotel idyllen in dalarna.

Oh, it'll be a perfect weekend.

I won't have to worry about Erik and jojo.

Anyone who wants her will have to marry her.

The good old American way, no samples.

Perhaps you'd like to change your mind

about us, Mr. Holcomb,

since you're such a good American.

Meet a defector.

I still don't see why you won't let me take you to the airport.

Well, no need to bother.

Well, have a good trip and don't work too hard.

Oh, I'll be all right.

Oh, and behave yourself.

I won't do anything you wouldn't do.

I'll get it, hilda.

Yes. Erik!

Daddy said you were in Saudi Arabia.

I sent my subordinate in my place.

Oh, won't you get in trouble? No.

Anybody can do

what your father sent me to do.

Jojo, my darling, I have decided.

While your father is in Zurich,

you will be in the mountains with me.

But what if daddy finds out? If he calls?

You've gone away with my sister, Greta.

Ingemar and hilda will understand.

They'll say you've gone off to the mountains.

And it will be true.

There's a beautiful summer resort.

Erik, I don't know if i...

you don't know?

After I took the chance of losing my job just to be with you?

I want to go...

Then I'll pick you up in half an hour.

Half an hour.

Please, don't look so sad.

I was worrying about poor daddy.

I'm glad you are so happy, Bob.

Why shouldn't I be?

I'm here with you

and Erik's in the desert with a rented camel.

So, this is hotel idyllen.

No, this is a summer resort for young people.

I want you to see

how innocent and wholesome everything is.

Ok, it's a wonderful place.

So let's get on to hotel idyllen.

After lunch.

I want you to see

how our young people enjoy sports.

The accent here is on athletics.

What do they specialize in, deep breathing?

To think of all the years I wasted on golf.

What was that?

The 100-yard dash or the running broad-jump?

What are you staring at?

It's only a bathhouse.

Co-ed?

Is that bathing or group therapy?

Bob, a famous king once said,

"evil to him who thinks evil."

If he was right, I'm in big trouble.

Crazy!

The scenery?

What's in front of the scenery.

Now I dig what they mean by foreign relations.

You are not sorry you gave up jojo for me?

What's to compare?

She's a pint, you're a full quart.

Uh, shall we check in and, uh, make a little history?

You Americans are so impatient.

We're a young country. Got a lot of time to make up.

I'll take Sweden, ya, ya, ya

I'll make Sweden home sweet home.

Swedish girls, ya, they're for me

ya, ya, ya, they're for me

I'll never get too bored

on smorgasbord

so many different lips

to taste

the dishes, ya, ya, ya

are delicious

and not a one

will go to waste

oh, I'll take Sweden, ya, ya, ya

I'll take Sweden home with me.

Swedish girls though miles apart

will always be in my heart

yeah

ya.

Yeah

ya.

Ya, ya

yeah, yeah

ya, ya, ya

yeah, yeah, yeah

I'll take Sweden

ya, ya

I'll take Sweden

ya, ya

mountains high

ya, ya

touch the sky

ya, ya

mountains high, touch the sky

I'll take Sweden

ya, ya

I'll take Sweden

ya, ya

bright and sunny

ya, ya

it's the land of

ya, ya

milk and honey

ya, ya

days so sunny, milk and honey

I'll take Sweden

ya, ya

I'll take Sweden, ya, ya

I'll take Sweden, ya, ya

got the things

ya, ya

I've been needin'

ya, ya

cows and cheese and girls so pleasin'

I'll take Sweden

ya, ya

mountain slopes

ya, ya

love to ski

ya, ya

buxom blondes

ya, ya

they're for me

ya, ya

long ones, tall ones, short ones, small ones

I'll take Sweden

ya, ya

ya ya

ya ya

ya, ya, ya, ya ya, ya, ya, ya.

Well, we are here. Happy?

I'll get us a room with a view, huh?

Erik, can you get 2 rooms?

2 rooms?

Please.

Why not?

If it would make you feel better, 2 rooms.

Oh, good.

One for the luggage.

Uh, Erik, before we check in, why don't we have some lunch?

Lunch?

Yes, I'm very hungry.

All right, but, uh,

nothing that will take too long to cook, huh?

No.

You Swedish people really know how to live.

You eat well. You...

What's the matter?

It just hit me. You know, jojo looks as healthy

as any of those young athletes we saw.

She certainly does.

Erik is in Arabia

and I left her in a town full of eriks.

Now, stop worrying about jojo.

She told me

she was going to catch up on her reading

over the weekend.

And I said I was going to Zurich.

Don't you trust her?

If I can't trust me, how can I trust her?

Oh, waiter,

would you bring me the phone?

See anything you like, alskling?

Hmm?

Is there something wrong?

I... I was thinking about daddy.

I can't do this to him.

I fail to see what we are doing to him.

I can't go through with it.

Would you mind taking me home?

I certainly would,

after bringing you all the way up here.

It's like leading me to the smorgasbord table

and... and taking away the herring.

I'm sorry, Erik,

but this little herring wants to go home.

All right. I'll check out.

Well, don't you want some lunch first?

I might never eat again.

Waiter, may I please have a phone?

Yeah.

Yeah. Mr. Holcomb.

I'd like to talk to jojo.

Just a minute, please.

What did miss jojo say we tell her father if he calls?

I not remember exactly.

Uh, just one moment please, Mr. Holcomb.

Hello.

Ingemar, this is jojo.

Oh, uh, good you call, miss jojo.

Your father is on the other phone.

Oh no, what did you tell him?

Nothing.

Uh, I'll fix so you'll tell him.

Uh, Mr. Holcomb, uh, she just come in.

Daddy.

Oh, hello, honey.

I just called to see if you were lonesome.

Hi, daddy, nice of you to call.

You don't mind being alone?

Oh, I'm not alone.

You're not?

No, ingemar and hilda are here.

Oh.

How are things in Zurich?

Well, you know how a business trip is.

Pressing.

Well, don't overdo it.

I'll try not to,

but everything gets dumped into my lap.

You wouldn't believe how exhausted I am at night.

Yes, I would.

Oh, don't you worry about me.

But, I do worry.

You forgot your vitamins and with the kind of work you're doing,

a man needs all the vitamins he can get.

Well, I'm really not working that hard.

Oh, I believe you are,

I think you should take the day off tonight.

What?

Oh, we have a bad connection here, honey.

I... I don't think I heard you right.

It was sweet of you to call. I know you're busy.

Goodbye, daddy.

Hey, she sounds great.

Ah, there's nothing like a phone.

It's the next thing to being there in person.

Excuse me.

Is that couple stopping here?

No, miss. I heard them say

they're going to the hotel idyllen in dalarna.

Thank you.

The Porter is putting the bags in the car.

I should have you home by 6:00.

Who wants to go home?

But you said...

oh, since when do you believe everything

a woman says?

I'd like to go to the hotel idyllen...

in dalarna? Yes.

Are you saying you really want to...

There is no place I'd rather go.

Suddenly, my appetite has come back.

Uh, waiter. Uh, bring us 2 steaks, please. Rare.

Yes, sir.

I'm glad you feel better about jojo.

Now, how about an aquavit?

Oh, make it a double. I can relax now.

What's the matter?

Who did I just talk to on the phone?

Jojo.

Then, how can I see her just now with Erik?

Right over there.

Our aquavit is stronger than you think.

Yeah, I guess so.

Don't tell me you saw them again.

Karin, I know jojo is in Stockholm.

But she's also right here with Erik.

Excuse me.

All right. On your feet, young lady.

You ought to be ashamed...

Who are you?

Oh, uh...

I'm the, uh,

new social director, and, uh,

I just wanted to make sure that you were

socially inclined.

Just go right ahead. Enjoy.

And, uh, if you need anything,

just check with me.

A deck of cards, or a puzzle pegboard.

I'll be around.

Oh.

I'm delighted we're going to the hotel idyllen.

How did you happen to think of it?

There was a couple in the dining room

that just couldn't wait to get there.

It is a very romantic place.

You will not be disappointed.

Me and my father.

What?

Oh, never mind. Will you get the car?

Yeah.

It's a very simple explanation.

I'm going nuts.

With jojo on the brain and aquavit in your stomach,

the combination must have been too much.

Just run over me. It might clear my head.

What are you staring at?

I was seeing pink jojos again.

All aboard for the hotel idyllen.

Well, the lovebirds.

Kenny!

Kenneth.

Erik, old buddy.

Thanks for introducing me to your cousin marti.

Kenny is very cute and loveable.

And available.

Long way from California, isn't it?

Yes, long way.

Kenny, I think maybe...

have fun. All the way.

Well, what are we waiting for?

You're still in love with her, aren't you?

Who's her?

Of course you are.

Just as I'm still in love with that stinker, Erik.

With Erik?

But, I thought you were his cousin.

How else could he introduce me

when I came barging into his apartment

that evening?

But why go along with the guy?

Because I thought you were cute.

And if I made a fuss over you,

it might make Erik jealous.

Oh. Oh, I see.

So, you just brought me up here for the ride.

I've been taken. But what about jojo?

Is she being taken?

In a month from now,

Erik won't even remember who she is.

Does that answer your question?

In capital letters.

Move over.

We're going to go to hotel idyllen.

Miss granstedt is one of our most regular patrons.

Oh, really?

This time, I'm glad she has company.

Is that better?

You two work well together.

Sweden is a very friendly country.

You've sold me.

I will escort you personally.

Erik, let's not register under our real names.

Why not?

Hmm, it's more intriguing.

Yeah. What's in a name?

This is the best in the house.

Thank you.

Well, enjoy.

Thank you.

Oh-oh, I forget your key. I bring it right back.

What took him so long?

Luggage.

Yeah, put it right over there. Tout de suite.

Here you are.

Oh, no, no, thanks. Enjoy.

You heard what the man said.

Maybe he changed his mind about the tip.

Enjoy.

All I ask is half a chance.

Excuse.

Tiger.

Sick 'em.

I'll go and change.

I bought a special negligee, just for you.

If you're in it, it's bound to be special.

Hey.

Don't come near the champagne.

It'll melt the ice.

How sweet of you to think of champagne.

1954. It was a very good year.

My idea of a good year

is the one when you were born.

Come here, you.

If this were in america,

that'd probably be some rating survey

asking us what television show

we're watching.

Don't you think you should answer it?

What do you think?

We are not watching television.

Neither are we, daddy.

Daddy. Have you got the wrong number.

Jojo? Where are you?

You mean we, don't you?

We? Yes.

We're in a room

at the hotel idyllen in dalarna. Erik and I.

Erik? But he's in Saudi Arabia.

No, he's not. He's right here with me.

In this hotel? What are you doing here?

The same thing you are doing.

That was jojo. She's here with Erik.

Well, where are you going?

Well, I've gotta stop her.

From what?

Oh, she's about to do the same thing you're about to do

and that's a terrible thing for a girl to be doin'.

Well, that's a fine thing to say to me.

No, no, i... I didn't mean that.

Karin, i... I mean, you're much older.

Older?

No, no, i... I didn't mean it that way either.

What I meant was, well, she's much younger.

What?

Look... look, honey, i-I'll explain

the whole thing to you later.

You gotta help me stop jojo.

Well, i... I can't go like this.

I'll go and change.

I deserve this. I knew it was wrong.

Now I'm paying the penalty.

Your father was not upset?

What has he got to be upset about?

He is here with the woman he loves.

Just like you are.

He is, uh, almost as wise and as understanding

as his daughter.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Stay in your own Lane.

I just found out my daughter's registered here

with a man. What room are they in?

What does she look like?

Oh, she's about 5'4", blond, very pretty,

and she's built like a...

Oh, that one.

Well, she's in room 110,

room 118, room 223, and room...

ah, never mind.

All I know is my daughter is about to "enjoy-enjoy"

and I wanna find her before she does.

Did everybody on this page

register today?

Yeah.

Uh-huh. Aha!

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith.

There's a phony if I ever saw one.

But you cannot...

give me that passkey.

Mr. Holcomb, you can't break in.

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith.

How unclever can you get?

All right, jojo.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm... I'm the house detective, and I just wanted to make sure

you had a girl in here.

Well, how dreadful!

Oh, sorry. 102.

All right, you two, come out of there!

Well?

Oh.

You dropped your slingshot.

I, uh,

I just want to warn you,

you're hanging around with a litterbug.

Watch it.

Mr. Holcomb,

if you don't stop this nonsense,

I'm going to have to call the police.

Nonsense? My daughter's in one of these rooms

with a man.

You're lucky.

Mine just sits in her room and cries.

You know, I think that

that champagne makes me a little dizzy.

You underestimate me, alskling.

I... I don't want to crush your lovely jacket.

I thought I'd help you out of it.

Oh, you're such a gentleman.

Maybe it would be better

if you changed into something a little less...

Less formal.

You think of everything.

Open up in there or I'll break this door down.

I'll give you to the count of 3.

3.

And all I asked for was a hot-water bottle.

No, please, let go.

I'll buy you an electric blanket.

Long live foreign aid.

You let go of him.

No, no. This one's mine.

All you have to do is call room service.

Look, these are the guests who registered today.

You take these rooms and I'll take these.

I hope we find jojo soon.

I don't want to marry a grandfather.

Grandfather?

I just want to be a father again.

Alskling.

I was just looking at the moon and the stars.

They pale next to the loveliness of you.

An American man

would never say anything that beautiful.

I have something beautiful to inspire me.

This crazy American is breaking into all my rooms

looking for his sensible daughter.

Now, you'll have to arrest him but with discretion.

The calls I have been receiving.

Psst.

You can't believe

what this man is doing to my respectable hotel.

Ah, froken granstedt!

Have you seen your friend, Mr. Holcomb?

Uh, he... he went up the hall.

Is there something wrong?

I just want to catch him and lock him in your room.

Nothing would please me more.

Let's go.

Oh, I wish you would save some of this energy for me.

Until we meet again.

I'm sorry for both of you.

Did you find them?

No, but there must be

a great show on television.

From the moment you stepped off the plane

and into my life I...

I knew this was meant to be.

What's the matter?

Um, please forgive me,

but I've changed my mind again.

Why?

Why do you keep saying yes when you really mean no?

Well, I thought I'd acquired a new set of morals,

but I guess I haven't.

Neither have I.

Well, I hope you don't hate yourself

for what you're trying to do.

I promise you I won't.

You won't what?

Hate yourself or won't try?

Jojo.

Now listen, I don't think you're getting my message.

You cannot get away from me.

I was 2nd in the olympic high hurdles.

Well, congratulations.

Any luck?

I think we just hit pay dirt.

We found them.

Only that sneaky Casanova would think of this.

Bob, this is our room.

Oh.

Hmm.

Mr. Holcomb! Boy, am I glad to see you!

Jojo's in this hotel with Erik.

And he doesn't intend to marry her.

I know, he's got other ideas.

If you knew Erik like I know...

I don't want to. We don't even know what room they're in.

I still have 2 more on my list.

Here, you check those.

That's my future father-in-law.

Bye, now.

Bye.

I don't know what it is that men don't see in me.

No, Erik! Yeah, jojo.

No!

Yeah.

No!

No!

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Say, any luck?

No. Oh, there's one we didn't check.

Don't get up. We're just passing through.

Now what?

I have one more left. 108.

108.

No!

Jojo, you're ruining my vacation.

Finally.

Mr. Holcomb? Yes.

We've had some complaints about you.

Later. Later. Not later.

Now, Mr. Holcomb.

Oh.

Enjoy.

Sure. Enjoy.

Ahhh, help!

Let me go!

No!

The lady said let her go.

Kenny!

Later, honey.

I'm gonna give loverboy his first guitar lesson.

Please, I have no ear for music.

Kenny, my boy,

that's the best number you ever played.

Oh! Kenny, you were marvelous.

I have the feeling I got here just in time.

Yes, just in time for me to tell you

that I'm going to marry Kenny.

I've been looking all over for you.

Well, you're a little late.

Just a minute.

I'll thank you to keep your lovely hands

off my future son-in-law.

Hadn't you better take care of your cousin?

Erik, darling.

What have these Americans done to you?

Would you mind moving over please?

Oh.

Look at 'em. Staring at each other

like they were 2 television sets.

Hey, why don't you kids hit the road?

It's getting kinda late.

It's not late. It's only 7:30.

You're still on bachelor time.

Oh, yeah. It is kind of married, uh, late.

Well... Good night.

Bye for now.

That was sweet of you.

Giving them a chance to be alone.

Well, when you're in love all you really think about

are those 3 little words:

Do not disturb.

Attention, please, Mr. Robert holcomb.

Would Mr. Holcomb please report

to the captain's office?

Hey, that's us, Mrs. Holcomb.

Oh, Mr. Holcomb. I was just having you paged.

There is a slight embarrassment.

Uh, at the time that I married you and the other couples

it seems that we were still

within the territorial waters of Sweden.

So, if we can just repeat the vows.

Repeat the vows?

Are you trying to tell me we're not married?

Well, not legally.

It seems the second mate

made a slight navigational error.

And my daughter's not married?

Oh, it's nothing serious.

It's just that something went wrong

with his sextant.

Jojo, Kenny!

Uh, what's the number of their stateroom?

I... I don't remember.

Oh, you... you Swede, you!

Now hear this. Now hear this.

To the couple who just hung out

that "do not disturb" sign,

her father just found out you're not married

and he will meet you on the starboard side of the ship.

Like I said before, it feels great

to be getting home.

Especially in this wonderful position.

I've seen the river boats in Holland

I'll take Sweden ya, ya, ya

and London kissed with morning dew

I'll take Sweden ya, ya, ya

and from a silver plain

I've seen it rain in Spain

but nothing can compare with you

I've seen that scenic ocean shining

I'll take Sweden ya, ya, ya

the Caribbean dressed in blue

I 'll take Sweden ya, ya, ya

and now as I recall

I guess I've seen it all

but nothing can compare

with you