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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:29,837 Ho-ho-ho! Merry Christmas! 2 00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:31,797 Hey, guys! 3 00:00:49,160 --> 00:00:52,550 - Ho! Merry Christmas. - Thanks. - Hey! 4 00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:55,598 Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention? 5 00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:59,116 This has been our best year ever thanks to Do-It-All-For-You-Dolly. 6 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:03,872 A- And I think we should give a special thanks to the people... 7 00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:06,520 responsible for our record-breaking sales, 8 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:10,229 our Midwest marketing and distribution team, 9 00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:12,754 - Scott Calvin and Susan Perry! - Yeah! 10 00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:16,958 Let's hear it for 'em! Come on! 11 00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:20,555 Susan, darling, come on up here. Aren't they adorable? 12 00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:22,989 Say a few words. 13 00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:25,674 Thank you very much. This was really a team effort, 14 00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:28,314 and I would just want to thank every one of you individually... 15 00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:31,039 But we don't have time for that, do we? 16 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:33,236 In all seriousness, um, here at B&R Toys, 17 00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:36,397 we're not just about makin' a profit in quality toys. 18 00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:38,954 We're also about families. 19 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:41,355 But our families aren't here with us right now. 20 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:44,995 Which is probably why Johnson's secretary is sittin' in his lap. 21 00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:47,548 You guys have a great party, have a great year. 22 00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:50,359 Drive safe. Thanks very much. 23 00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:54,910 Aren't they wonderful? 24 00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:00,195 Laura, I was hopin' to catch you before you'd left your house. 25 00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:05,070 I ran real late today. You wouldn't believe the traffic out here. 26 00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:09,875 Yeah, same to you! And that's not very ladylike! 27 00:02:09,920 --> 00:02:12,115 Anyway, I'll try to get to my house as soon as I can. 28 00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:14,754 Oh, there's the problem right there. 29 00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:17,155 Three car pile-up. I'm really gonna be late. 30 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:21,034 Hark, carol bells, sweet silver bells All seem to sing throw cares away 31 00:02:21,080 --> 00:02:25,312 Christmas is here bringing good cheer To young and old, meek and the bold 32 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:29,234 Ding dong and dong, balance in song Ring joyful ring, all caroling 33 00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:33,233 One seems to hear words of good cheer from everywhere filling the air 34 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:37,233 Oh, how they pound, raising the sound go hand in hand calling in the town 35 00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:41,478 Gaily they ring while people sing songs of good cheer, Christmas is here 36 00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:43,471 Merry, merry, merry merry Christmas 37 00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:45,397 Merry, merry, merry merry Christmas 38 00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:49,228 On we will sing, dawn with a hymn Angel will come to every home 39 00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:53,398 Hark, carol bells, sweet silver bells All seem to sing throw cares away 40 00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:56,995 Hark, carol bells, sweet silver bells one seems to hear words of good cheer 41 00:02:57,080 --> 00:03:00,868 From everywhere, filling the air Oh, how they pound, raising the sound 42 00:03:00,920 --> 00:03:02,831 Go hand in hand Calling in the town 43 00:03:02,920 --> 00:03:06,754 Gaily they ring while people sing songs of good cheer, Christmas is here 44 00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:08,751 Merry, merry, merry merry Christmas 45 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:10,870 Merry, merry, merry merry Christmas 46 00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:14,589 On we will sing, dawn with a hymn Angel will come to every home 47 00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:19,879 On we will sing, dawn with a hymn Angel will come to every home 48 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:24,516 Ding dong ding 49 00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:27,478 Dong 50 00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:34,910 All right. Let's go. 51 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:37,673 - Bye, Charlie. - Bye, Neal. 52 00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:44,112 - Oh, sorry I'm late. Hi. - Hi. 53 00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:46,993 - Did you want to come in for a minute? - Neal's waiting in the car, so... 54 00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:50,914 - Why doesn't he come in? - 'Cause, Daddy, he says you'll just end up saying something snotty. 55 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:54,754 Not necessarily. Could be rude or sarcastic. Whatever it takes. 56 00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:56,751 - See? I gotta go. Here. - Oh, come on. Come on. 57 00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:59,473 Christmas Eve. Just for a minute. 58 00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:04,354 Watch those steps. They're real slippery. 59 00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:06,874 - Ooh! - Told ya. 60 00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:15,998 - So... - Well... 61 00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:18,958 - You goin' to your mom's for dinner? - Actually, we're gonna be with Neal's family. 62 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:20,911 Ah, Christmas at the pound. 63 00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:25,956 There aren't that many presents over there. 64 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:28,076 Well, that's because Santa isn't here yet. 65 00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:30,315 Neal doesn't believe in Santa. 66 00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:32,555 Well, Neal's head comes to a point. 67 00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:36,513 - He's smart. He's a doctor. - He's not a doctor. He's a psychiatrist. 68 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:38,511 Take your coat off. You're stickin' around, aren't ya? 69 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:44,630 I'll be right there. Just a sec. 70 00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:48,076 - I just want to... - Did that jerk tell Charlie there was no Santa Claus? 71 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:52,750 What? No. Oh, Charlie came home from school the other day in tears, 72 00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:56,156 because some big kid told him there was no such thing as Santa. 73 00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:58,356 And, you know Neal. Well, he sat him down and... 74 00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:00,271 He told him that there was a Santa Claus. 75 00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:03,318 Well, all he said was that Santa was more like a feeling. 76 00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:05,834 You know, more like a state of mind than a person. 77 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:10,954 Kind of like Neal. And who gave you permission to tell Charlie there's no Santa Claus? 78 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:14,436 I think if we're gonna destroy our son's illusions, I should be a part of it. 79 00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:16,829 - Yeah, but you're never around, are you, Scott? - Oh, oh, please. 80 00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:20,959 Listen, all we are trying to do is give Charlie a firm grasp on reality. 81 00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:24,430 That's a good idea. You don't want kids runnin' around usin' their imaginations. 82 00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:27,353 Oh, yeah. This from the guy responsible for the Do-It-All-For-You-Dolly. 83 00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:29,795 - Leave her out of this. - Don't you burp me, don't you change me 84 00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:33,111 - I'm the dolly... - Why do you guys always have to fight? 85 00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:35,270 I, uh, swear we're not fighting. It's your mom's singing. 86 00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:38,710 It sounds a lot like fighting, doesn't it? Cats even. 87 00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:42,998 The trouble is, Neal and your mom, they don't believe in Santa because they were real naughty. 88 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:45,554 Which is why they'll probably get lumps of coal in their stockings. 89 00:05:45,640 --> 00:05:50,395 I don't know. It seems kind of babyish to believe in that kind of stuff. 90 00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:53,631 What are you talkin' about? I believe in Santa Claus. I'm not a baby. 91 00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:55,676 - Well... - Maybe it's time you left. 92 00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:59,230 We don't want to keep Dr Pinhead waiting. 93 00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:03,828 Come here. 94 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:08,272 Do I gotta stay? 95 00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:13,878 Listen, you and your daddy are gonna have a great Christmas, okay? 96 00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:16,514 - Will you pick me up tomorrow? - Of course. 97 00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:18,431 - Early? - Yes. 98 00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:20,670 We're talking sunup? You're here? 99 00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:26,352 You'll be fine. Ah, merry Christmas, Charlie. I love you. 100 00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:28,510 I love you too, Mom. 101 00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:34,318 - You be a good boy, okay? - Bye, Mom. 102 00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:36,996 Four hours? 103 00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:50,991 I'm dreamin' of a white Christmas 104 00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:55,312 - Your Christmas will be perfect... - Just like the ones I used to know 105 00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:57,834 ... with its own built-in turkey timer. 106 00:06:57,880 --> 00:07:01,555 Where those treetops glisten 107 00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:05,155 - And now, we return to the most cherished of Christmas stories, - And children listen 108 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:09,716 - Miracle On 34th Street, starring Natalie Wood and... - To hear sleigh bells in the snow... 109 00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:28,716 That is exactly why you want a high-quality fire extinguisher right in the kitchen. 110 00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:31,155 Those flames were really big, Dad. 111 00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:34,198 - Yeah, turkey's funny that way. - Dad! 112 00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:37,270 'Ey! 113 00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:47,232 It's done. 114 00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:53,877 You like osso buco, Charlie? They're closed. 115 00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:56,918 You know, Neal's a real good cook. 116 00:07:57,000 --> 00:08:00,117 Yeah, and you should see him walk on water. 117 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:02,839 - You don't like him very much, do ya, Dad? - Charlie, yeah... 118 00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:04,996 I was joking, okay? I'm sorry. I was just kiddin' around. 119 00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:08,436 I like him a lo... Yeah, sure, I like him. You know, there... 120 00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:11,472 There's just something about him that makes me wanna... 121 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:13,676 Lash out irrationally? 122 00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:16,951 - Where did you hear that? - From Neal. 123 00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:19,395 I learn a lot from him. He listens to me. 124 00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:21,914 Yeah. Then he charges ya for it. 125 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:32,676 I'm dreaming 126 00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:37,231 - Of a white Christmas - All right. Denny's. 127 00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:42,189 - Just like the ones I used to know - It's always open. - I don't wanna eat here. 128 00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:44,430 - What are you talkin' about? Everybody likes Denny's. - Where those treetops 129 00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:46,357 - It's an American institution. - Glisten 130 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:57,230 - Are you with Hatsutashi? - No! 131 00:08:57,280 --> 00:09:00,511 - Dad burnt the turkey. - Oh, yeah. This way. Come on. 132 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:07,150 - Right over there. - Thank you. 133 00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:19,559 - Here we go. - Burn the turkey? 134 00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:27,389 - Coffee? - No, thank you, Judy. 135 00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:31,712 What do you say we start out with cold glasses... 136 00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:35,634 of delicious seasonal favourite eggnog? 137 00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:38,359 - I don't like eggnog. - We're out. 138 00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:40,749 - Coffee. Decaf. - Mm-hmm. 139 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:44,349 - I'll have chocolate milk, please. - We're out. 140 00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:47,637 - Plain milk's fine. - Okay. 141 00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:50,678 - At least we know they got hot apple pie. - We did. 142 00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:52,990 Mm-hmm! 143 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:03,389 This is nice. 144 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:09,832 "And Mama in her kerchief and I in my cap... 145 00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:12,474 - I'm dreaming - "had just settled down for a long winter's nap. 146 00:10:12,560 --> 00:10:14,994 - Of a white - "When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter, 147 00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:17,548 - Christmas - "I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter. 148 00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:21,070 "Away to the window I flew like a flash. 149 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:26,513 "With a miniature sleigh and St. Nich... and Prancer and Dancer... 150 00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:28,955 ...and to all a good night." 151 00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:39,670 - What's that? - What's what? 152 00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:41,751 "A Rose Suchak ladder"? 153 00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:45,435 It's not a ladder. I said, "arose such a clatter." 154 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,636 It means, eh, "came a big noise." 155 00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:49,557 What? 156 00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:54,958 Charlie, "arose" is a word that means "it came," 157 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:56,911 and "clatter" is a big noise. 158 00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:58,837 Now, please, go to sleep. Shut your eyes. 159 00:11:00,680 --> 00:11:03,638 How do reindeer fly? They don't have any wings. 160 00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:07,076 - Fairy dust? - That's from Peter Pan, Dad. 161 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:09,720 - Horns. - Antlers. 162 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:13,429 Whatever. Their, uh, antlers give them... 163 00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:16,478 You know, ther... ther... there's a slipstream effect... The air go... 164 00:11:16,560 --> 00:11:18,391 T-They move fa... They're weightless. 165 00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:22,996 - But if Santa's so fat, how did he get down the chimneys? - He sucks it in like Grandpa. 166 00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:26,271 But what about people who don't have fireplaces? How does he get into their house? 167 00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:30,797 Charlie, sometimes believing in something means you... 168 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:34,871 means you just believe in it. 169 00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:38,714 Santa uses reindeer to fly because that's how he has to get around. 170 00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:41,712 But you do believe in Santa, right, Dad? 171 00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:47,159 Of course I believe in Santa. Now, please, go to sleep. 172 00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:57,392 - Dad? - What is it, Charlie? 173 00:11:57,440 --> 00:12:01,718 Maybe you better leave some cookies and milk out, just in case, okay? 174 00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:05,673 Great. I'll just go preheat the oven. 175 00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:09,235 And don't forget the fire extinguisher. 176 00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:11,675 Good night, Charlie. 177 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:28,274 Ho! 178 00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:32,350 Now, settle down there. 179 00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:46,190 Dad! Dad! 180 00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:49,869 - W-What? - I heard a clatter. 181 00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:52,434 - What, Charlie? - There! A clatter! 182 00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:56,274 - Charlie, what are you talkin' about? - You know, "it came a big noise." 183 00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:58,237 It's coming from outside. 184 00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:00,436 Charlie, it's just the wind or somethin'. 185 00:13:00,520 --> 00:13:03,080 Come on. Let's go back to bed. 186 00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:08,508 - Somebody's on the roof. - Maybe it's Santa. 187 00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:12,434 Not now, Charlie. I want you to sit here, and I want you to stay right there. 188 00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:18,756 - Charlie, do you know how to call 911? - Sure. 911. 189 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:21,229 Yeah. Great. Stay there. 190 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,719 - Hey, you! - What's that... 191 00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:41,150 Whoa! Whoa! Wh-Whoa! 192 00:13:57,560 --> 00:14:01,758 Whoo-hoo! Hey, buddy. 193 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:07,312 All right, you should just stay still. Perfect. 194 00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:11,996 - You got him! - Charlie, stay where you are. 195 00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:14,992 Charlie, would you listen to me? Stay up there! 196 00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:18,629 It is Santa! You killed him. 197 00:14:18,680 --> 00:14:21,274 Did not. And he's not Santa. 198 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:23,794 Well, he was. 199 00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:27,157 He's got some I.D. On him, I bet. 200 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:30,351 Fella, if you can hear me, I'm just lookin' for your identification. 201 00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:35,673 Once I figure out who ya are, I'll... I'll give you a lift back to the mall. 202 00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:39,150 "If something should happen to me, put on my suit. The reindeer will know what to do." 203 00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:42,471 Yeah, right. 204 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:56,270 Whoa. 205 00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:26,512 - Dad! - Hey. 206 00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:28,511 He disappeared. 207 00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:33,549 - Whoa! - He's naked somewhere. 208 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:36,353 - You gonna put on the suit like the card said? Are you? - No. No. 209 00:15:36,440 --> 00:15:39,716 - Come on, Dad. I wanna go too. - Stop it, Charlie. We're not goin' anywhere. 210 00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:44,112 - You never do what I wanna do! - Would you please be quiet for a minute so I can figure this out? 211 00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:50,353 Reindeer up on the roof. Santa suit layin' on the ground. 212 00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:54,228 Guy fell. Not my fault. 213 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:57,995 Reindeer on the roof. That is hard to explain. 214 00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:01,749 It's the ladder. 215 00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:06,597 Where the hell'd this come from? 216 00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:10,116 Look here, Dad. "The Rose Suchak Ladder Company." 217 00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:14,716 - Huh? - "Out by the roof there's a Rose Suchak ladder." 218 00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:18,839 - Just like the poem. - Just like the poem? 219 00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:21,673 Charlie, come on down from there. Charlie, get down from there! 220 00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:25,349 Dad! You gotta see this! 221 00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:27,516 - Don't touch anything! - It's great! 222 00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:31,309 I'm just gonna call the police. I'll carry this stuff up there. Let them deal with it, okay? 223 00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:38,033 Whoa! This guy was huge. 224 00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:40,111 Dad, isn't this neat? 225 00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:43,869 Charlie. Charlie! Stay away from those things. 226 00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:46,190 They're reindeer. You don't know where they've been. 227 00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:49,955 They all look like they've got key lime disease. 228 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:55,796 Easy, Rudolph. 229 00:16:58,120 --> 00:17:00,156 Excuse me, Comet. 230 00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:02,993 Dad! Check out Santa's sleigh. 231 00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:05,594 There's no such thing as Santa's sleigh. 232 00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:10,754 - Sure there is. You said you believed in Santa, right? - I did? I do. 233 00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:15,311 What about the reindeer? These are Santa's reindeer, aren't they? 234 00:17:15,360 --> 00:17:18,511 I hope not. These are, uh, 235 00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:23,635 a gift. 236 00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:26,831 Probably from the cable company. 237 00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:29,872 We're getting the Disney Channel now. Merry Christmas. 238 00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:33,077 - Now, hop out of there, please. - I don't wanna go. 239 00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:36,590 Listen, Charlie. I'm not kidding. Let's go! 240 00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:41,389 - Whoa! Whoa! - Yeah! Let's go! Whoa! 241 00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:51,877 Charlie! Hold on, Charlie! 242 00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:57,392 Whoa! 243 00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:03,749 Giddyap, Comet! Whoa, let's go! 244 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:09,394 Dad! Climb up here! 245 00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:11,839 There we go! 246 00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:15,629 So, uh, if we go straight on this road, and we hit I-94... 247 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:37,795 Well, we made good time. Now what do we do? 248 00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:40,348 - Get the bag of toys. - And do what? 249 00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:43,477 - Go down the chimney. - Down the chimney? 250 00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:46,199 You want me to take the toys down the chimney... 251 00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:49,238 into a strange house in my underwear? 252 00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:52,278 No. You gotta put the suit on first. 253 00:18:52,360 --> 00:18:55,636 You know what we're gonna do is we're gonna get outta here, 254 00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:59,235 because this whole thing is stupid. 255 00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:02,357 How come everything I wanna do is stupid? 256 00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:08,271 I didn't say that. 257 00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:28,030 Freezing my nubs off out here, and you want me to get into a Santa costume. 258 00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:30,350 This is great. A Santa costume. 259 00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:34,518 Oh, this thing. You never know where it's been. 260 00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:36,636 A thousand malls. 261 00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:41,157 Well, I hope you're happy, Comet. Hope you're happy. But most of all, 262 00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:44,516 I hope the guy that lives here is a tailor! 263 00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:46,989 Nice coat. 264 00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:51,549 Well, how do I look? Nice? 265 00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:54,200 - You forgot the sash. - You're right. 266 00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:56,271 This completes the ensemble. 267 00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:00,914 All right. Got my boots. 268 00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:03,952 Now I've got the suit on. How am I supposed to know what to leave? 269 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:06,833 - Maybe there's a list. - A list. How silly of me. 270 00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:09,599 Of course there's a list. 271 00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:15,159 Careful, Dad! 272 00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:18,915 - I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay! - Look! You're flying! 273 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,560 It's okay. I'm used to it. I lived through the '60s. 274 00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:22,874 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 275 00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:09,917 Nice teeth. 276 00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:14,830 Who's down there? 277 00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:18,918 It's the holidays. Come on. Come on. 278 00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:26,269 Charlie, I need a little help down here! 279 00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:33,478 Whoa! How'd you do that? What'd it feel like, Dad? 280 00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:36,597 It felt like America's Most Wanted. 281 00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:40,798 Now, pull me in, quick. We gotta get outta here. 282 00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:43,792 Thanks. We gotta go home. How do you start this thing? 283 00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:46,832 Just like that! 284 00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:54,478 Whoa! 285 00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:57,830 This could be a really long night. 286 00:21:57,880 --> 00:22:01,873 Do it again, Dad. Please. 287 00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:05,077 I can't. That thing's empty. 288 00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:09,228 There's nothin' in the bag. 289 00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:11,953 Even if there was, d-didn't you notice there's no chimney? 290 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:14,355 Where there's no chimney, there's no fireplace. 291 00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:17,397 Are you growling at me? 292 00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:21,315 Look, Comet, like I said, 293 00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:24,358 there is nothing left... 294 00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:27,637 That's so weird, 'cause I know when I did... that... 295 00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:30,353 No, no, no, no, no! Hold it! 296 00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:34,035 There's no chimney here. Can you hear me? No chimney, all right? 297 00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:36,640 Lookin' good, Dad. 298 00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:39,518 You have got to be kidding! Come on! 299 00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:42,114 Look at the size of this thing. 300 00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:55,916 Weird! Ow! 301 00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:02,039 Ouch! Oh! 302 00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:10,833 - Santa? - Scott Calvin. 303 00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:13,559 How come your clothes are so baggy? 304 00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:18,191 Because Santa is watchin' his saturated fats. 305 00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:22,671 - How come you don't have a beard? - Because I shaved! 306 00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:26,998 Do you want this doll or not? Go back to sleep. 307 00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:34,430 You're supposed to drink the milk. 308 00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:37,080 Look, I am lactose intolerant. 309 00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:41,870 And I am just about this close to taking all those presents back up the chimney with me. 310 00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:46,234 "Supposed to drink the milk." 311 00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:49,313 Shut your eyes. 312 00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:52,915 Yo! 313 00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:58,151 How do you get in without a fireplace? 314 00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:00,589 I don't know. One just kind of appeared. 315 00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:03,473 Awesome! 316 00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:12,830 Oh, boy! 317 00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:53,789 Charlie, look at the clouds over here. Aren't they pret... 318 00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:55,836 Charlie! 319 00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:23,553 All right. Mornin', fellas. 320 00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:27,155 Mornin', sport. We're done, Comet. Ho-ho-ho. 321 00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:29,270 Back to the house. 322 00:25:29,360 --> 00:25:32,670 Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night. 323 00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:35,558 When I wake up, I'm gettin' a CAT scan! 324 00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:59,911 - Is this okay, Dad? - No, it's not okay! 325 00:25:59,960 --> 00:26:04,112 Hey, does this look like home to you guys? 326 00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:07,960 No, no, no, no, no! Hey, hey, hey! 327 00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:11,350 Where you goin'? Come back here! Aww! 328 00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:23,150 In the silence of the night 329 00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:25,708 - When the snow - Hey, hey! 330 00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:28,399 - Lies soft and still - Hey, buddy! 331 00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:32,991 - You, sir! Hey! - You can see a magic light 332 00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:37,232 And hear the ring of Christmas bells 333 00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:42,917 - Can you hear me? - Though the night seems long and dark 334 00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:45,753 - It is the earth - What's that? 335 00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:47,876 - Just gone to sleep - I don't know. 336 00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:50,394 - I think it's the North Pole. - The stars that dot 337 00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:52,596 - That's the North Pole? - The sky above 338 00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:55,074 - Hey, buddy, we need some help. - Hold you in 339 00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:57,469 - Hello! - Their precious keep 340 00:26:57,560 --> 00:27:02,873 - What are you doing? - So close your eyes and come with me 341 00:27:04,160 --> 00:27:10,190 The Christmas bells will bring you home 342 00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:31,794 Hey, look! Here comes the new Santa! 343 00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:35,071 And now with song we fill the night 344 00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:38,232 While magic dances in the light 345 00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:41,392 To wish you now and all the year 346 00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:43,710 Thejoy that comes with Christmas cheer 347 00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:47,509 - Sit back. - Hear our voices fill the air 348 00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:50,717 To drive the winter's cold away 349 00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:53,917 And so our hearts with all will share 350 00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:57,072 The love that comes with Christmas day 351 00:27:57,120 --> 00:28:00,317 The love that comes with Christmas day 352 00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:05,758 The Christmas bells will bring you home 353 00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:16,589 - Where are all the grown-ups? - This is so cool. 354 00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:18,517 Stay here. 355 00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:21,916 Hey, kid, kid. Kid, who's in charge here? 356 00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:26,357 You are. And I'm not a kid. I've pointy shoes that are older than you. 357 00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:28,271 I'm an elf. 358 00:28:28,360 --> 00:28:31,796 Uh, you guys, or you girls... Who gives the orders? Who's your boss? 359 00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:33,711 - You are. - No, no, no. Uh... 360 00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:35,950 - W-Who's the head elf? - You are. 361 00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:38,355 Hey! Who's causin' all the trouble around here? 362 00:28:38,440 --> 00:28:39,793 - He is. - She is. 363 00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:42,070 Excuse me. Are we on a coffee break? 364 00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:45,550 - We don't drink coffee. - Then I guess the break is over! 365 00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:47,909 Back to work. Thanks. 366 00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:50,679 Take it easy on her, will ya? Who are you? 367 00:28:50,720 --> 00:28:53,712 I'm Bernard. Nice to meet ya, Santa. 368 00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:58,151 I'm not Santa! I've had a rough night. There's been dogs barkin', guns goin' off. 369 00:28:58,200 --> 00:29:01,397 Look, my back's killin' me. Have you ever tried to shove a sea kayak down a chimney? 370 00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:03,789 - I'm tired of this small talk. - Hmm. 371 00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:07,833 The other Santa disappeared, right? 372 00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:11,469 Wait a minute. Hey, I know where this is goin'. 373 00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:14,432 It wasn't my fault. The other guy fell. It was an accident. 374 00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:17,512 I've got homeowner's insurance and a good attorney. 375 00:29:17,560 --> 00:29:20,518 Not as good as my wife's, but let's not open up that wound. 376 00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:23,478 Hold it a minute. Wh-Whoa, whoa, whoa. 377 00:29:23,520 --> 00:29:25,556 How did you know the other guy was gone? 378 00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:28,108 - Can I get you a drink? - No, I don't want a drink. 379 00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:30,555 I'm thirsty and hungry too. 380 00:29:30,640 --> 00:29:33,074 Charlie, I thought I told you to stay in the sleigh. 381 00:29:33,120 --> 00:29:37,398 - Who's this? - This... This is my son, Charlie. 382 00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:39,556 I'm sorry. Charlie, this is Buh, Beh, Beh... 383 00:29:39,640 --> 00:29:41,153 - Bernard. - Bernard. 384 00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:44,073 - Hi, Bernard. - Hiya, sport. 385 00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:47,078 - Hey, Dad, he called me "sport" just like you. - Wonderful. 386 00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:49,720 Hey, you know what. I got somethin' for you. 387 00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:52,758 Okay, now hold out your hand, all right? 388 00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:56,918 Now, be very careful. This is very old, just like me. 389 00:29:59,960 --> 00:30:02,428 Shake it up, Charlie. 390 00:30:12,680 --> 00:30:14,113 Wow. 391 00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:16,668 Why don't you, uh, hold onto it for me for a while. 392 00:30:16,760 --> 00:30:22,392 - It might come in handy. - Thanks. Thanks a lot. 393 00:30:22,480 --> 00:30:24,914 I promise I'll take real good care of it. 394 00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:29,988 - Make sure you do. - I will. 395 00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:32,838 Hey, Dad, look! 396 00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:35,309 Huh. Fabulous ball. 397 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:37,709 - Hey, Barabbas. - Bernard! 398 00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:42,112 Bernard. Can we take a direct flight back to reality, or do we have to change planes in Denver? 399 00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:44,111 Uh, Larry, take Charlie here and get him some chow. 400 00:30:44,160 --> 00:30:46,435 - No, Larry, don't do that. Charlie! - He'll be okay. 401 00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:48,351 Follow me. You'll want to get out of those clothes. 402 00:30:48,440 --> 00:30:51,432 I... Uh... No, look, Barnaby, I just wanna go home. 403 00:31:14,760 --> 00:31:19,515 Look, I am not Santa Claus! Ahh! 404 00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:21,591 Did you or did you not read the card? 405 00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:23,955 - Yeah, I read the card. - Then you're the new Santa. 406 00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:26,355 In putting on the hat and jacket you accepted the contract. 407 00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:30,513 - What contract? - The card in the Santa suit. You said you read it, right? 408 00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:33,398 So when you put on the suit, you fell subject to the Santa Clause. 409 00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:34,993 - Here. - The Santa Claus? 410 00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:37,071 Oh, you mean the guy that fell off my roof? 411 00:31:37,120 --> 00:31:40,430 No, no, no, not Santa Claus, the person. Santa Clause, the clause. 412 00:31:40,480 --> 00:31:42,550 What? 413 00:31:42,640 --> 00:31:44,358 - Look, you're... you're a businessman, right? - Yeah. 414 00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:47,955 Okay. A clause, as in the last line of a contract. 415 00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:52,155 - You got the card? - Oh! 416 00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:54,390 Okay, look. 417 00:31:54,480 --> 00:31:57,392 The Santa Clause: "In putting on this suit and entering the sleigh... 418 00:31:57,480 --> 00:32:00,995 "the wearer waives any and all rights to any previous identity, real or implied, 419 00:32:01,080 --> 00:32:04,277 "and fully accepts the duties and responsibilities of Santa Claus... 420 00:32:04,360 --> 00:32:08,114 "in perpetuity until such time that wearer becomes unable to do so... 421 00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:10,589 by either accident or design." 422 00:32:10,680 --> 00:32:13,752 - What does that mean? - It means you put on the suit, you're the big guy. 423 00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:17,071 - That's ridiculous. I didn't put on the suit just to... - Try to understand this! 424 00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:19,993 Oo-oo-ooh! 425 00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:22,196 Let me explain something to you, okay? 426 00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:26,199 Toys have to be delivered. I'm not gonna do it. It's not my job. I'm just an elf. 427 00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:29,391 It's Santa's job, but Santa fell off a roof, your roof. 428 00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:32,796 You read the card, you put on the suit. That clearly falls under the Santa Clause. 429 00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:35,030 - So now you're Santa, okay? - A question. 430 00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:36,758 - What? - When can I get outta here? 431 00:32:36,840 --> 00:32:40,150 - Dad, you gotta see this place. - You leave tomorrow morning. 432 00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:43,676 You have 11 months to get your affairs in order, and you're due back here Thanksgiving. 433 00:32:43,760 --> 00:32:47,309 - I'm not comin' back here on Thanksgiving. - I'll ship the list to your house. 434 00:32:47,360 --> 00:32:50,352 - What list? - Come on, now. The list. 435 00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:57,591 - He's makin'a list - Checkin'it twice 436 00:32:57,680 --> 00:33:01,673 Gonna find out who's naughty or nice 437 00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:05,076 Look, you put a "P" next to the kids who are nice and a "C" next to the naughty ones. 438 00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:09,312 - "P" and "C"? - Yeah. "P" for present, "C" for coal, right, Bernard? 439 00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:11,960 - Right. - Wait a minute. How do I know who's good and bad? 440 00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:15,675 - You'll know. - What if I don't want to do this? 441 00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:18,274 - Don't even kid about a thing like that. - Why not? 442 00:33:18,360 --> 00:33:23,229 What if I don't buy into this Santa Clause thing? What if I choose not to believe it? 443 00:33:34,360 --> 00:33:38,911 Then there would be millions of disappointed children around the world. 444 00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:43,152 You see, children hold the spirit of Christmas within their hearts. 445 00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:47,837 You wouldn't want to be responsible for killing the spirit of Christmas, 446 00:33:47,920 --> 00:33:50,878 now, would you, Santa? 447 00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:56,749 Judy will take you to your room. Get out of the suit. It needs to be cleaned. 448 00:33:56,800 --> 00:33:59,189 - And taken in. - Then get some sleep. 449 00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:02,477 We've got a lot of work to do and only a year in which to do it. 450 00:34:10,240 --> 00:34:13,073 - Judy. - Santa. 451 00:34:13,120 --> 00:34:17,875 - Scott Calvin. - Follow me. 452 00:34:17,920 --> 00:34:20,912 - I'll just take the next train. - Dad, come on! 453 00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:23,872 Charlie! 454 00:34:23,960 --> 00:34:26,872 - Come on, Dad! - Charlie, wait up! 455 00:34:29,720 --> 00:34:32,917 - That's funny. I like that. - I like that too. But I don't like... 456 00:34:46,600 --> 00:34:49,114 Wow! 457 00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:58,195 Can I get you anything? The kitchen's always open. 458 00:34:58,240 --> 00:35:00,117 How about a stiff drink? 459 00:35:01,760 --> 00:35:03,876 You should get some sleep. 460 00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:08,672 Here are your pyjamas. I'll be right back. 461 00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:17,391 Oh, oh, look, Judy. Look. Look over there. 462 00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:20,238 There's a... 463 00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:23,113 Look. Look over there. I know. 464 00:35:23,160 --> 00:35:27,915 Look. Look over there. There's a canoe. Aha, it's true. 465 00:35:28,920 --> 00:35:30,911 Oh, look, there's an emu. 466 00:35:36,040 --> 00:35:38,190 - Look at him. - Shoo. 467 00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:43,994 - Santa? - Scott Calvin. 468 00:35:51,160 --> 00:35:54,835 - I brought you some cocoa. - No, thanks. 469 00:35:54,920 --> 00:35:58,993 My own recipe. Took me 1200 years to get it right. 470 00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:04,117 - 1200 years? - That's right. 471 00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:10,718 You know, I must say, you look pretty good for your age. 472 00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:13,712 Thanks, but I'm seeing someone in wrapping. 473 00:36:22,160 --> 00:36:24,594 This is good. 474 00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:26,511 This is really good. 475 00:36:26,600 --> 00:36:31,515 Not too hot, extra chocolate, shaken, not stirred. 476 00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:36,510 You look distressed. 477 00:36:36,600 --> 00:36:39,068 Distressed? I'm way past distressed. 478 00:36:39,160 --> 00:36:43,312 - Why's that? - I'm talking to an elf. 479 00:36:43,360 --> 00:36:45,749 And I stopped believing in Santa Claus a long time ago. 480 00:36:45,840 --> 00:36:49,628 That's not surprising. Most grown-ups can't believe in magic. 481 00:36:49,720 --> 00:36:53,713 It just... sort of grows out of them. 482 00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:56,678 Look, you're a nice little elf. 483 00:36:56,760 --> 00:36:59,069 - Thanks. - But this is a dream. 484 00:36:59,160 --> 00:37:01,071 I mean, this is fabulous. 485 00:37:01,160 --> 00:37:04,596 Is that a polar bear directin' traffic down there? 486 00:37:04,640 --> 00:37:09,236 I... I see it, but I don't believe it. 487 00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:12,113 - You're missing the point. - What is the point? 488 00:37:12,200 --> 00:37:14,839 Seeing isn't believing; believing is seeing. 489 00:37:14,880 --> 00:37:18,668 Kids don't have to see this place to know that it's here. 490 00:37:18,720 --> 00:37:21,598 They just... know. 491 00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:27,599 Well, you should get some rest. Good night, sir. 492 00:38:01,320 --> 00:38:03,959 Dad! 493 00:38:04,040 --> 00:38:05,678 Dad! 494 00:38:07,880 --> 00:38:09,950 Wake up, sleepy! 495 00:38:10,040 --> 00:38:11,871 Come on, get up! 496 00:38:13,560 --> 00:38:15,630 Dad! 497 00:38:15,680 --> 00:38:17,557 Dad! 498 00:38:17,600 --> 00:38:20,239 Dad! 499 00:38:20,280 --> 00:38:23,477 Come on, Dad! Come on! 500 00:38:23,560 --> 00:38:25,437 You should see all the neat toys. 501 00:38:25,520 --> 00:38:27,636 - Stop shakin' me, Charlie. - Come on. Get up. Get up! 502 00:38:27,720 --> 00:38:30,029 - Okay! - Come on. It's Christmas morning. 503 00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:33,192 - Great! G-Go and make some coffee. - Come on, Dad. Let's go! 504 00:38:33,240 --> 00:38:35,310 Okay. Okay. 505 00:39:53,080 --> 00:39:56,197 - Are you okay, Dad? - Yeah. Just fine. Just fine. 506 00:39:56,280 --> 00:39:59,078 Are you having a heart attack? I know CPR. 507 00:39:59,160 --> 00:40:00,991 No, I was just... 508 00:40:02,360 --> 00:40:05,511 - S. C? - Yeah, Santa Claus. 509 00:40:05,560 --> 00:40:09,394 Hey. Same initials as your name, Dad. 510 00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:11,954 Scott Calvin. 511 00:40:12,040 --> 00:40:14,349 What? 512 00:40:17,800 --> 00:40:21,076 Oh, Charlie! Oh, merry Christmas, honey! 513 00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:23,918 - Did you have a good time? - Great time! The best! 514 00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:28,636 Great... Oh, ho, Scott. Nice P.J.s. Very festive. 515 00:40:28,720 --> 00:40:32,030 - Where'd you get them? - I don't know. 516 00:40:32,120 --> 00:40:35,590 - Judy gave them to you. - Judy. Really. 517 00:40:35,640 --> 00:40:37,551 - Who? - Up in the North Pole. 518 00:40:37,640 --> 00:40:39,790 Ah, one of Santa's little helpers. 519 00:40:39,840 --> 00:40:43,753 Last night, Dad and me went with the flying reindeer. 520 00:40:43,800 --> 00:40:48,749 It was really neat, Mom. Dad was Santa, and Larry showed me the workshop. 521 00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:51,473 - You know, where they make all the toys? - Gee, thanks for... 522 00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:54,353 - keeping his feet on the ground. - You bet. 523 00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:58,871 Honey, you go wait in the car for a minute, okay? I'll be right there. 524 00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:02,191 - Merry Christmas. - Bye, Dad. Thanks for a great night at the North Pole. 525 00:41:05,120 --> 00:41:08,795 So, uh, what have you been telling him? 526 00:41:08,880 --> 00:41:13,715 Nothing. It's just... I had this really strange dream. 527 00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:17,275 And I... I must have told him all about it. 528 00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:19,476 Wait! 529 00:41:21,240 --> 00:41:23,151 - Charlie. - Scott. - Hi, Dad. 530 00:41:23,200 --> 00:41:26,431 - Nice jammies. - Thanks. About what you said in the house. 531 00:41:26,520 --> 00:41:28,351 - Who showed you the workshop? - The elf. 532 00:41:28,440 --> 00:41:31,512 - How'd I get the pyjamas? - I told you. Judy. 533 00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:36,594 Oh, wait. Wait. Judy was the name of the waitress at the restaurant last night. 534 00:41:36,640 --> 00:41:40,189 - Some waitress gave you pyjamas? - What's this all about? 535 00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:43,317 Dad took me to the North Pole, and Larry showed me the workshop. 536 00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:47,188 - The North Pole. - Yeah. Dad's the new Santa. 537 00:41:47,280 --> 00:41:50,113 The regular Santa fell off the roof, and Dad put on the suit. 538 00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:53,158 Charlie, we'll discuss this at home. 539 00:41:59,640 --> 00:42:03,792 The clause. The Santa Clause. 540 00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:06,991 It's just a dream. Stuff like that doesn't happen. 541 00:42:07,080 --> 00:42:10,834 It was a dream. Come on! 542 00:42:10,880 --> 00:42:14,998 I don't even wear pyjamas! Normally I sleep naked. Buck naked. 543 00:42:15,080 --> 00:42:17,196 Ha! Morning, Mrs McGloin. Mary Catherine. 544 00:42:17,240 --> 00:42:19,117 Eyes front, Mary Catherine. 545 00:42:19,160 --> 00:42:21,469 Sometimes boxer shorts. You know. 546 00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:27,033 So, remember, kids, there is nothing more painful than third degree burns. 547 00:42:29,920 --> 00:42:33,071 Well, thank you, Fireman O'Hara. 548 00:42:33,160 --> 00:42:36,197 And I think the whole class will join me in saying... 549 00:42:36,280 --> 00:42:38,111 sorry about your partner. 550 00:42:41,240 --> 00:42:44,949 Well, perhaps this is a good time to bring up the psychiatrist. 551 00:42:45,040 --> 00:42:49,238 Charlie, would you like to introduce your, um... 552 00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:52,595 Dr Miller? 553 00:42:52,680 --> 00:42:55,274 Can I ask Dad to go first? 554 00:42:55,320 --> 00:42:58,039 Well, if that's how you feel, Charlie. 555 00:42:58,120 --> 00:43:02,272 That's how he feels, Neal. Come on. Nice sweater, buddy. 556 00:43:04,960 --> 00:43:08,794 This is my dad, Scott Calvin. He's got a really neat job. 557 00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:12,270 - Thank you, Charlie. - My dad is Santa Claus. 558 00:43:13,880 --> 00:43:18,908 Oh, boy! I think what he means is, I'm like Santa Claus. 559 00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:22,197 We're both giving. We're both jolly. 560 00:43:22,240 --> 00:43:26,028 And we both work very hard one day a year. 561 00:43:26,120 --> 00:43:29,351 - Oh, boy. - That's not what I mean, Dad. 562 00:43:29,400 --> 00:43:32,597 Look, on Christmas Eve, my dad pushed Santa off the roof. 563 00:43:32,680 --> 00:43:35,433 - No, Charlie... Ch... Charlie. - Santa disappeared and my dad took his place. 564 00:43:35,480 --> 00:43:38,677 - Charlie! - Then I went with him to deliver all the presents. 565 00:43:38,720 --> 00:43:41,439 Then the reindeer flew us to the North Pole where the head elf, 566 00:43:41,520 --> 00:43:44,751 - Charlie. - Bernard, gave me this. 567 00:43:44,800 --> 00:43:48,952 Look, I work for a toy company. I deliver toys all over the country. 568 00:43:49,040 --> 00:43:53,158 So, in a way, I'm like Santa Claus. 569 00:43:53,240 --> 00:43:55,834 - Yes, sweetheart? - Do you make the toys? 570 00:43:55,920 --> 00:43:58,195 No, stupid, the elves do! 571 00:43:58,280 --> 00:44:03,798 Bobby, we don't say "stupid," and we don't say "elves." They're little people. 572 00:44:03,840 --> 00:44:07,674 - No, but they really are elves. - Whatever, honey. 573 00:44:07,760 --> 00:44:11,036 - Which one's your favourite reindeer? - Comet. 574 00:44:11,120 --> 00:44:13,839 Uh, I, I, I don't have a favourite. 575 00:44:13,880 --> 00:44:16,599 So, let me get this straight, Santa. 576 00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:19,592 You mean, when I grow up, if I wanna be Santa Claus, 577 00:44:19,640 --> 00:44:21,756 all I gotta do is push you off a roof? 578 00:44:21,840 --> 00:44:24,274 All right, he said that. He said that it was the best Christmas he ever had. 579 00:44:24,320 --> 00:44:27,073 - Oh, big surprise. What do you think? - It's just nice to hear it from him. 580 00:44:27,160 --> 00:44:30,914 - Is that a problem with you? - That's my responsibility, isn't it? - All right. So? 581 00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:34,037 May I speak, please? I am a doctor. 582 00:44:34,120 --> 00:44:36,680 No, he's not. He's a psychiatrist. 583 00:44:36,760 --> 00:44:39,399 Please. Go ahead, Dr Miller. 584 00:44:39,480 --> 00:44:41,914 I guess we know who's the teacher's pet. 585 00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:44,355 Scott! Oh, grow up. 586 00:44:44,440 --> 00:44:47,716 The reason we're here is that this is far more serious... 587 00:44:47,800 --> 00:44:50,837 than a boy believing or not believing in Santa Claus. 588 00:44:50,880 --> 00:44:54,475 That's right, because Charlie thinks that this whole thing actually happened. 589 00:44:54,520 --> 00:44:58,354 Scott, what was the last thing you and Charlie did... 590 00:44:58,400 --> 00:45:00,550 before you went to bed Christmas Eve? 591 00:45:00,600 --> 00:45:04,275 We shared a bowl of sugar; did some shots of brown liquor; 592 00:45:04,360 --> 00:45:06,999 played with my shotguns; field dressed a cat; 593 00:45:08,040 --> 00:45:10,554 looked for women. 594 00:45:10,640 --> 00:45:13,473 - I read him a book. - What book? 595 00:45:13,560 --> 00:45:15,516 Uh, Hollywood Wives. 596 00:45:15,600 --> 00:45:17,795 The Night Before Christmas, folks. Come on! 597 00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:20,115 And did you go to the North Pole? 598 00:45:20,200 --> 00:45:22,031 T-This is ridiculous. I don't have time for this. 599 00:45:22,120 --> 00:45:26,352 Ridiculous or not, Scott, for Charlie, this isn't some dream. 600 00:45:26,440 --> 00:45:28,032 It is real. 601 00:45:28,120 --> 00:45:30,509 You need to sit down with Charlie. Explain to him... 602 00:45:30,560 --> 00:45:33,597 you are not Santa Claus. 603 00:45:33,680 --> 00:45:36,592 They're like the bears at the North Pole, Dad. 604 00:45:36,680 --> 00:45:40,275 Charlie, I already told ya. We did not go to the North Pole. 605 00:45:40,360 --> 00:45:42,669 - That was a dream. - You're in denial, Dad. 606 00:45:42,720 --> 00:45:44,597 Denial. You don't even know what that means. 607 00:45:44,680 --> 00:45:47,797 Well, you are. I know what happened. 608 00:45:47,840 --> 00:45:52,118 How do you know that? How? You don't have any proof. 609 00:45:52,200 --> 00:45:56,113 - Proof? - Why can't we both think of it as just a great dream and forget about it? 610 00:45:56,200 --> 00:45:59,829 What about this? Remember all the neat stuff inside? 611 00:45:59,920 --> 00:46:03,833 Charlie, this is a toy. 612 00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:07,549 We used to make things like this at work, but no one bought 'em. 613 00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:11,315 Here. I don't wanna talk about this any more. 614 00:46:11,400 --> 00:46:15,359 I know who you are, Dad. You'll figure it out soon enough. 615 00:46:15,440 --> 00:46:19,991 There are a lot of kids that believe in you. You can't let them down. 616 00:46:20,080 --> 00:46:22,355 Charlie, you're wrong. 617 00:46:28,960 --> 00:46:31,838 - What's so funny? - Nothing. 618 00:46:38,520 --> 00:46:40,988 He sees you when you're sleeping 619 00:46:41,080 --> 00:46:43,640 He knows when you're awake 620 00:46:43,720 --> 00:46:46,314 He knows if you've been bad or good 621 00:46:46,360 --> 00:46:48,316 Rollin' Keep those reindeer rollin' 622 00:46:48,400 --> 00:46:51,870 Okay, you better watch out You better not cry 623 00:46:51,960 --> 00:46:54,520 - You better not pout I'm tellin' you why - Come on, Dancer. Come on, Prancer. 624 00:46:54,560 --> 00:46:56,949 - Santa Claus is coming - Whoa! We can't stop. 625 00:46:57,040 --> 00:46:59,793 - To town - But I have to go to the bathroom. 626 00:46:59,880 --> 00:47:03,316 I told you, you should've gone before we left the North Pole. 627 00:47:03,360 --> 00:47:06,033 And rummy tum-tums 628 00:47:06,120 --> 00:47:10,398 Whoa! Right here. Turn over here. 629 00:47:10,480 --> 00:47:12,835 Curly-haired dolls that toddle and coo 630 00:47:12,920 --> 00:47:15,480 Elephant spokes and kiddie cars too 631 00:47:22,600 --> 00:47:25,398 - Where is he? - Well, he could be in his room, 632 00:47:25,480 --> 00:47:28,517 jumping up and down on his bed wearing a red hat and galoshes. 633 00:47:28,600 --> 00:47:31,034 I don't care what Neal's doing. Where's Charlie? 634 00:47:31,120 --> 00:47:33,554 Oh, ho, ho. Oh, I see, I see. 635 00:47:33,600 --> 00:47:36,478 Well, if you can't be father of the year, why not be Father Christmas, huh? 636 00:47:36,640 --> 00:47:39,313 Charlie, it's just not logical. 637 00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:43,638 How can one man in one night... 638 00:47:43,680 --> 00:47:45,557 visit all the children of the world? 639 00:47:45,640 --> 00:47:47,551 Not everyone celebrates Christmas. 640 00:47:47,640 --> 00:47:52,760 And I think there's some sort of time continuum that breaks down once Santa's in his sleigh. 641 00:47:52,800 --> 00:47:58,352 What about fireplaces? A lot of people don't have them. 642 00:47:58,440 --> 00:48:00,749 How does Santa visit those people? 643 00:48:00,840 --> 00:48:03,479 He turns into Jell-O and... 644 00:48:03,520 --> 00:48:07,069 The fireplace kind of appears, and he goes through it like this. 645 00:48:07,160 --> 00:48:11,278 What about the reindeer? 646 00:48:11,320 --> 00:48:15,791 - Have you ever seen a reindeer fly? - Yes. 647 00:48:15,840 --> 00:48:19,628 - Well, I haven't. - Have you ever seen a million dollars? 648 00:48:19,680 --> 00:48:21,591 No! 649 00:48:21,680 --> 00:48:25,719 Just because you haven't seen it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. 650 00:48:25,760 --> 00:48:28,069 Hey, Neal. Howdy, sport. 651 00:48:28,120 --> 00:48:30,509 - Hi, Dad. - You wanna take a walk? I wanna talk to you. 652 00:48:30,560 --> 00:48:33,791 - Sure. I'll get my coat. - Okay. Hustle up. 653 00:48:33,880 --> 00:48:36,792 Scott? Can I have a minute? 654 00:48:36,880 --> 00:48:39,519 Sure. 655 00:48:39,600 --> 00:48:43,115 I think Charlie is conflicted at the moment. 656 00:48:43,160 --> 00:48:45,628 Wow. Really? 657 00:48:45,720 --> 00:48:49,679 Boy. Hmm. Appreciate your analysis. I really do. 658 00:48:49,720 --> 00:48:53,429 But, boy, you got more important things to worry about, you know. 659 00:48:53,520 --> 00:48:57,877 Like, where are you gonna get more sweaters after the circus pulls outta town? 660 00:48:57,920 --> 00:49:01,435 Scott! I mean, you're not listening. 661 00:49:01,520 --> 00:49:03,829 We are very concerned about this. 662 00:49:03,920 --> 00:49:06,115 Concerned about what? 663 00:49:06,200 --> 00:49:07,792 This... 664 00:49:07,880 --> 00:49:10,838 If Charlie spending time with you is the best thing for him. 665 00:49:19,840 --> 00:49:22,638 You were right about the sweater, okay? 666 00:49:25,080 --> 00:49:28,152 Do you think by next year I'll be big enough to drive the sleigh all by myself? 667 00:49:28,240 --> 00:49:31,198 - No! - But I've been practising. 668 00:49:31,280 --> 00:49:33,555 No, that's not what I'm talkin' about. Charlie, hold on a second. 669 00:49:33,600 --> 00:49:36,672 We've got to talk about this Santa Claus thing. 670 00:49:40,640 --> 00:49:42,710 Charlie, there... there is no... 671 00:49:44,880 --> 00:49:47,235 No what, Dad? 672 00:49:49,960 --> 00:49:54,909 There's no reason why we have to tell anybody about the North Pole. 673 00:49:54,960 --> 00:49:59,988 - Why not? - Well, sometimes some things, big things, 674 00:50:00,040 --> 00:50:04,670 should remain un... unsaid, like between two people... 675 00:50:04,720 --> 00:50:09,510 - Oh, you mean like a secret. - Yes. Like a secret. Let's keep it a secret. 676 00:50:09,600 --> 00:50:12,273 How come? 677 00:50:12,360 --> 00:50:15,352 Because of Mom and Neal. 678 00:50:15,400 --> 00:50:18,039 Not just because of them. There's school. 679 00:50:18,120 --> 00:50:20,839 Everybody thinks... Well, it's not important what they think. 680 00:50:20,920 --> 00:50:23,992 It... 681 00:50:24,040 --> 00:50:27,396 How does five bucks sound to ya? 682 00:50:27,480 --> 00:50:31,473 This is something I really want you to do for me, sport. 683 00:50:31,560 --> 00:50:36,350 I want to keep this secret. Will ya do that, please? 684 00:50:36,440 --> 00:50:39,557 - Okay, Dad. - All right. 685 00:50:39,600 --> 00:50:42,068 Great. 686 00:50:42,120 --> 00:50:46,636 You don't have to worry about the Santa Claus thing any more. 687 00:50:46,720 --> 00:50:49,109 So when do I get the five bucks? 688 00:50:49,160 --> 00:50:52,516 ... 15 in the morning. It's gonna be a beautiful day. 689 00:50:55,680 --> 00:50:58,877 Spend the day with me, Larry B. 690 00:51:12,480 --> 00:51:14,357 Huh? 691 00:51:21,120 --> 00:51:24,112 Something's wrong with the mirror. 692 00:51:26,960 --> 00:51:30,270 What? Something's wrong with the scale. 693 00:51:35,080 --> 00:51:36,911 Excuse me. Excuse me. Uh... 694 00:51:37,000 --> 00:51:41,391 Hmm. I'll have a field green salad and... Oh, my God. 695 00:51:42,760 --> 00:51:45,069 - What the... - What? Scott? 696 00:51:46,600 --> 00:51:48,989 Calvin? 697 00:51:51,560 --> 00:51:55,951 Sorry, um, the dry cleaner in my neighbourhood went up in smoke. 698 00:51:56,040 --> 00:51:59,476 Some big chemical fire. All my clothes, poof, gone. 699 00:51:59,560 --> 00:52:02,836 God. Your... Your weight. 700 00:52:02,920 --> 00:52:05,832 What happened? 701 00:52:05,920 --> 00:52:09,674 Bee sting. Evidently I'm allergic. 702 00:52:09,760 --> 00:52:13,799 Almost killed me. But the guy at the emergency room says... 703 00:52:13,880 --> 00:52:16,155 the swelling will go down. 704 00:52:16,200 --> 00:52:19,715 I hope. So, did I miss anything? 705 00:52:19,800 --> 00:52:21,916 No, we were, uh, just about to order lunch. 706 00:52:21,960 --> 00:52:23,916 Great! I'm starving. 707 00:52:24,000 --> 00:52:27,675 I'll have a salad and iced tea and dressing on the side. 708 00:52:27,720 --> 00:52:31,793 Uh, pasta and tomatoes, uh, and very light on the oil. Can you do that? 709 00:52:31,880 --> 00:52:34,792 And I'll have a Caesar. No dressing. 710 00:52:34,880 --> 00:52:37,314 And one of those home-made cookies, the warm chocolate chip. No nuts. 711 00:52:37,400 --> 00:52:40,039 And, uh, a little slice of cheesecake. Uh, creme brulee... 712 00:52:40,080 --> 00:52:44,437 and, um, hot fudge sundae, extra hot fudge. 713 00:52:46,240 --> 00:52:48,356 On the side. 714 00:52:48,400 --> 00:52:52,712 - Anything to drink? - Ice-cold milk. 715 00:52:52,800 --> 00:52:57,237 - Stung by a bee, Scott? - A big bee. 716 00:53:13,800 --> 00:53:15,153 Finished? 717 00:53:20,760 --> 00:53:25,197 Okay, now, remember. This is just a storyboard. 718 00:53:25,280 --> 00:53:28,317 But here is our preliminary... 719 00:53:28,360 --> 00:53:31,113 Total Tank TV spot. 720 00:53:31,200 --> 00:53:33,714 Okay, now, we've got Santa. He's up in the North Pole. 721 00:53:33,800 --> 00:53:37,634 He's gettin' ready for... Christmas! 722 00:53:37,720 --> 00:53:41,076 - Oh, no. - Problem? 723 00:53:41,160 --> 00:53:44,596 It's just a little thing. The elves. 724 00:53:44,680 --> 00:53:47,990 - What about the elves? - They look so funny. 725 00:53:48,040 --> 00:53:51,350 They're supposed to look funny. They're elves. 726 00:53:51,400 --> 00:53:54,756 Just my opinion. Can't they look a little younger... 727 00:53:54,840 --> 00:53:57,354 with silver specks on their cheeks? 728 00:53:57,440 --> 00:54:00,512 - Can we continue here? - Okay. 729 00:54:00,560 --> 00:54:03,632 Now, this year Santa's not goin' out in a sleigh. 730 00:54:03,720 --> 00:54:07,759 This time he's goin' Total Tank. 731 00:54:07,840 --> 00:54:11,549 Wait a minute! No way! No way Santa's goin' anywhere without his sleigh. 732 00:54:11,640 --> 00:54:14,029 He would if he's tryin' to sell the Total Tank. 733 00:54:14,120 --> 00:54:16,315 Well, isn't that a pretty picture. 734 00:54:16,360 --> 00:54:18,874 Santa's rollin' down the block in a panzer. 735 00:54:18,920 --> 00:54:22,071 Well, kids, I... I certainly hope you've been good this year. 736 00:54:22,120 --> 00:54:24,680 'Cause it looks like Santa just took out the Pearson home. 737 00:54:24,760 --> 00:54:26,352 - Incoming! - Oh, please. 738 00:54:26,440 --> 00:54:28,874 And another thing. What about the reindeer? 739 00:54:28,960 --> 00:54:32,509 Reindeer and Santa. Santa and reindeer. I-It's kind of a package deal. 740 00:54:32,600 --> 00:54:35,512 - Calvin. - You don't believe in Santa, do ya? 741 00:54:35,560 --> 00:54:38,358 Calvin, can we get back to the presentation? 742 00:54:38,440 --> 00:54:40,476 I'm not done yet. Since we've opened this box, 743 00:54:40,520 --> 00:54:42,909 have any of you tried to build the Total Tank? 744 00:54:42,960 --> 00:54:46,919 It's got 10,000 parts, and even if you do get it together, it breaks ten minutes later. 745 00:54:46,960 --> 00:54:49,758 - Then you gotta spend more money just to buy new parts. - I thought that was the whole point. 746 00:54:49,800 --> 00:54:51,711 No, no, no, no. 747 00:54:51,760 --> 00:54:56,197 What we gotta do is develop a, a basic, simple, inexpensive toy... 748 00:54:56,240 --> 00:54:58,595 that will nurture a child's creative thinking. 749 00:54:58,640 --> 00:55:01,916 - Calvin... - Here, try the brown ones. 750 00:55:01,960 --> 00:55:03,871 Can I see you outside a minute? 751 00:55:10,120 --> 00:55:12,350 I don't know what's happening to you. 752 00:55:12,400 --> 00:55:15,278 You're starting to look like the Pillsbury dough boy. 753 00:55:15,360 --> 00:55:19,478 - Y-You're falling apart. - I know! I know. 754 00:55:19,560 --> 00:55:22,120 - I don't know what came over me. - W-Well, just get some help. 755 00:55:22,160 --> 00:55:26,278 You know, y-you should s-see a doctor, a shrink, a dietician, anything. 756 00:55:26,360 --> 00:55:29,909 Just get some help. 757 00:55:50,160 --> 00:55:52,037 Okay, Scott. Time is up. 758 00:55:52,080 --> 00:55:55,709 - Let's get over here and check your pulse. - All right. 759 00:55:57,440 --> 00:56:00,193 Okay, hmm? 760 00:56:04,080 --> 00:56:07,470 Huh? Well, nuts. I... 761 00:56:07,560 --> 00:56:10,120 Oh, no, uh, your pulse is great. I... 762 00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:12,668 Well, I-I don't know, Scott. Y-You're as healthy as a horse. 763 00:56:12,760 --> 00:56:15,274 Yeah, Clydesdale. 764 00:56:15,360 --> 00:56:18,591 Okay, look. So, what? You put on a little weight. 765 00:56:18,640 --> 00:56:20,915 A little weight? Does this look like a little weight to you? 766 00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:24,117 Well, weight can fluctuate from year to year. 767 00:56:24,200 --> 00:56:27,317 Fluctuate? You make it sound like I'm retainin' water. 768 00:56:27,400 --> 00:56:31,359 I've gained 45 pounds in a week. Pete, what's happenin' to me? 769 00:56:31,400 --> 00:56:34,198 - Well, what's your diet like? - Milk and cookies. 770 00:56:34,280 --> 00:56:36,236 - Really? - But I don't finish all the milk. 771 00:56:36,320 --> 00:56:41,713 Well, then, there is your problem. Just try to cut back on the sweets, okay? 772 00:56:41,800 --> 00:56:44,519 - Anything else? - Yeah. 773 00:56:44,560 --> 00:56:47,074 How fast does hair grow? Facial hair? 774 00:56:47,160 --> 00:56:52,712 - What? - I shave in the morning and in the afternoon I look like this. 775 00:56:52,800 --> 00:56:57,157 Well, it could be a hormonal imbalance. 776 00:56:57,200 --> 00:57:00,033 - That would explain the mood swings. - Mood swings? 777 00:57:00,080 --> 00:57:02,514 - Yeah, well, look at my hair. It's turnin' grey. - Oh, it's middle age, buddy. 778 00:57:02,600 --> 00:57:07,071 It happens. And with that body, you should be thankful you have hair. 779 00:57:07,120 --> 00:57:10,430 Look, i-if it bothers you, you can dye it, and you should diet! 780 00:57:12,040 --> 00:57:15,077 Ah, just kidding. Okay, up with the shirt. 781 00:57:15,120 --> 00:57:19,079 Let's take a listen to the old ticker. Whoa. Okay. 782 00:57:19,160 --> 00:57:20,991 Ooh, it's cold. 783 00:57:41,400 --> 00:57:44,517 Over here, Steve! I'm open! 784 00:58:08,360 --> 00:58:10,271 What? 785 00:58:11,880 --> 00:58:14,997 I want some ballet slippers. 786 00:58:32,080 --> 00:58:35,709 - Hi, Mom. - Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 787 00:58:35,800 --> 00:58:38,030 - Hold on now. - Wait a minute. Wait, I'm not done. 788 00:58:38,120 --> 00:58:41,954 Fax me. Hi. Hey, this probably looks pretty odd, doesn't it? 789 00:58:42,040 --> 00:58:45,350 - These kids lined up all by themselves. - Scott, 790 00:58:45,440 --> 00:58:50,434 I think it's safe to say you're taking this Santa thing to an unhealthy level. 791 00:58:50,480 --> 00:58:54,029 Here's my card. Call me. 792 00:58:54,120 --> 00:58:57,874 Scott, I... I really have to tell you that this is beginning to scare me. 793 00:58:57,960 --> 00:59:01,475 I never in my wildest... Well, no, okay, maybe my wildest... 794 00:59:01,520 --> 00:59:04,239 But certainly never in my normal dreams would I... 795 00:59:04,320 --> 00:59:07,039 - But then this is Scott we're talking about and I... - Laura, the point. 796 00:59:07,080 --> 00:59:10,197 It's just I never thought you would stoop to changing your physical appearance... 797 00:59:10,280 --> 00:59:12,840 in order to make Charlie like you. 798 00:59:12,920 --> 00:59:16,515 - Do you have any concept of how dangerous this is to a little boy? - Whoa. 799 00:59:16,560 --> 00:59:19,120 - Whoa, whoa. "How dangerous"? - Mom, what's the matter? 800 00:59:19,200 --> 00:59:22,237 - Come on, Charlie, we're going home. - But we just started. 801 00:59:22,280 --> 00:59:24,157 Well, a... You let him stay. I'll go. 802 00:59:24,200 --> 00:59:27,237 If you don't get your act together, Scott, so help me... 803 00:59:27,320 --> 00:59:31,552 - Watch it, folks. - I will just... Oh! - Mom! - Come on. Move it, lady! 804 00:59:32,600 --> 00:59:34,909 Kick it! 805 00:59:39,440 --> 00:59:42,557 - Hi there. - Hi. I got a delivery for S.C. 806 00:59:42,600 --> 00:59:44,511 - You S. C? - Scott Calvin, that's me. 807 00:59:44,600 --> 00:59:47,034 Sign here, please. 808 00:59:49,320 --> 00:59:51,788 - All right. - Thanks. I'll get your packages. 809 00:59:51,880 --> 00:59:53,836 - Packages? - Yeah, there's quite a few of them. 810 00:59:53,920 --> 00:59:57,151 Great. I'll leave the door open. Just leave them inside here. 811 00:59:57,200 --> 00:59:59,953 Will do. 812 01:00:30,760 --> 01:00:32,830 It's the list. 813 01:00:42,120 --> 01:00:44,839 "Armand Assante"? 814 01:00:44,880 --> 01:00:47,474 Yo! 815 01:00:47,560 --> 01:00:50,438 Hold it! Hold... Oh! Hold it! 816 01:00:50,520 --> 01:00:54,229 - You! You! Take that! Come on! Come on! - Stay away from the truck. 817 01:00:54,280 --> 01:00:58,159 What am I supposed to do with all these packages, guys? Come on. 818 01:00:59,280 --> 01:01:01,271 Aah. 819 01:01:03,160 --> 01:01:08,154 You know, I knew it. I knew that... that something was going on. I just... I... 820 01:01:08,200 --> 01:01:11,875 What I can't believe is that he would go behind our backs all this time, 821 01:01:11,960 --> 01:01:15,999 confusing Charlie again just... 822 01:01:16,040 --> 01:01:20,431 I... I... What are we... What are we supposed to do? 823 01:01:20,520 --> 01:01:23,478 Well, there's one obvious alternative. 824 01:01:27,760 --> 01:01:29,637 Okay. 825 01:01:29,720 --> 01:01:31,551 Aah. 826 01:01:34,200 --> 01:01:36,998 - Annie, nice. - Beep! 827 01:01:37,040 --> 01:01:39,838 - Johnny, naughty. - Johnny, wait up. 828 01:01:39,880 --> 01:01:42,474 Gary, nice. 829 01:01:42,560 --> 01:01:44,835 Veronica, very nice. 830 01:01:44,880 --> 01:01:47,075 In your dreams, sleigh boy. 831 01:01:47,160 --> 01:01:49,879 Huh? 832 01:02:13,040 --> 01:02:15,429 I'm in big trouble. Mm-hmm. 833 01:02:15,600 --> 01:02:17,318 Thank you. 834 01:02:18,920 --> 01:02:21,798 Judge Wayland's office. 835 01:02:21,880 --> 01:02:24,997 Charlie, do you mind if I talk to you for a minute? 836 01:02:25,080 --> 01:02:27,674 It's okay, honey. Come on. 837 01:02:30,280 --> 01:02:32,840 We won't be long. 838 01:02:36,880 --> 01:02:40,111 Are we doing the right thing, Neal? 839 01:02:40,200 --> 01:02:42,430 - Something needs to shake Scott. - Yeah, but... 840 01:02:42,480 --> 01:02:45,313 But to... to take away his visitation rights. 841 01:02:45,400 --> 01:02:48,198 Honey, the man is delusional. 842 01:02:48,240 --> 01:02:52,358 Okay, okay, so maybe I'm having second thoughts, kind of. I just... 843 01:02:52,440 --> 01:02:55,671 I mean, what was so bad about Charlie believing in Santa? 844 01:02:55,720 --> 01:02:57,711 Well, he's a little old. 845 01:02:58,960 --> 01:03:04,034 Oh, come on, Laura. Don't you remember when you stopped believing in Santa Claus? 846 01:03:04,120 --> 01:03:08,193 I was Charlie's age, I guess, I... 847 01:03:08,240 --> 01:03:11,630 I wrote Santa a letter every week that year. 848 01:03:13,960 --> 01:03:17,111 Well, you know, okay, you know, maybe... 849 01:03:17,160 --> 01:03:19,720 Maybe not every week, but... 850 01:03:21,200 --> 01:03:25,273 Boy, I really wanted a "Mystery Date" game. 851 01:03:25,320 --> 01:03:28,073 Do you remember those? 852 01:03:28,160 --> 01:03:31,152 No. Of course you don't. 853 01:03:31,240 --> 01:03:33,629 You know, no one does. 854 01:03:33,720 --> 01:03:36,678 I... I don't even think they make them any more, but... 855 01:03:38,760 --> 01:03:41,035 Well, anyway... 856 01:03:41,120 --> 01:03:44,351 Christmas morning came and... 857 01:03:44,400 --> 01:03:47,039 Oh, I got dozens of presents. 858 01:03:47,080 --> 01:03:50,038 Oh, I got everything. 859 01:03:52,200 --> 01:03:55,636 Except "Mystery Date." 860 01:03:58,480 --> 01:04:03,554 I was three, and it was an Oscar Meyer wienie whistle. 861 01:04:05,800 --> 01:04:09,156 Christmas came. No wienie whistle. 862 01:04:11,600 --> 01:04:13,477 And that's when I stopped believing. 863 01:04:13,520 --> 01:04:15,636 You were three? 864 01:04:16,760 --> 01:04:19,228 Yeah. 865 01:04:19,280 --> 01:04:21,794 Oh, Neal. 866 01:04:24,440 --> 01:04:27,398 - Where's Charlie? I want to talk to him. - He's with the judge. 867 01:04:29,600 --> 01:04:31,556 Dad! 868 01:04:33,160 --> 01:04:37,278 It's all okay. I told the judge everything... 869 01:04:37,320 --> 01:04:39,880 about you and the North Pole. 870 01:04:39,960 --> 01:04:42,394 After reviewing all of your testimonies, 871 01:04:42,440 --> 01:04:45,352 I've come to a very difficult decision. 872 01:04:45,440 --> 01:04:48,876 I'm sorry to do this in light of the holiday season, 873 01:04:48,960 --> 01:04:52,999 but in the best interest of the child, 874 01:04:53,080 --> 01:04:56,789 I'm granting the petition of Dr and Mrs Miller. 875 01:04:57,960 --> 01:05:00,269 Mr Calvin, as of today, 876 01:05:00,360 --> 01:05:03,238 all of your visitation rights are suspended... 877 01:05:03,320 --> 01:05:07,029 pending a hearing after the first of the year. 878 01:05:45,080 --> 01:05:46,991 - Hey, Neal. - Scott. 879 01:05:47,080 --> 01:05:50,755 - You're not supposed to be here. - Don't make me beat you up, Neal. 880 01:05:50,800 --> 01:05:53,473 Oh, would Santa really beat someone up? 881 01:05:53,520 --> 01:05:56,990 - I'm this close. - So you still believe you're Santa? 882 01:05:57,040 --> 01:05:59,713 - I don't know. - What do you mean you don't know? 883 01:05:59,800 --> 01:06:03,236 Of course you are, Dad. How can you say that? 884 01:06:03,280 --> 01:06:07,068 - Think of all those kids. - The only kid I'm thinkin' about is you. 885 01:06:07,160 --> 01:06:10,755 Dad, I'm fine. You can't let them down. 886 01:06:10,800 --> 01:06:13,758 - They all believe in you! - Charlie, listen. 887 01:06:13,840 --> 01:06:17,833 You listen! You think you know who he is. You don't! 888 01:06:17,880 --> 01:06:21,031 Charlie. Honey, listen. You're confused. 889 01:06:21,080 --> 01:06:22,957 I know exactly who he is. 890 01:06:23,000 --> 01:06:25,355 Charlie, he's not Santa! 891 01:06:25,400 --> 01:06:29,473 He is too, Santa! We went to the North Pole together. 892 01:06:29,520 --> 01:06:33,638 I saw it. The elves are real old even though they look like me. 893 01:06:33,680 --> 01:06:37,355 Bernard called me sport, 'cause he knew everything. 894 01:06:37,400 --> 01:06:39,630 Right, Dad? 895 01:06:39,720 --> 01:06:42,234 Remember! 896 01:07:05,080 --> 01:07:07,355 Thank you, Charlie. Thank you. 897 01:07:09,360 --> 01:07:11,555 I love you, Dad. 898 01:07:13,200 --> 01:07:16,033 Could you guys leave us alone for a minute? 899 01:07:16,080 --> 01:07:19,993 I mean, so I can say goodbye to him properly? 900 01:07:28,480 --> 01:07:31,392 You saw! You saw the ball come to life. 901 01:07:31,440 --> 01:07:33,795 You bet I did. 902 01:07:33,840 --> 01:07:37,196 - Well, Charlie, I guess I... I better go. - I'll get my stuff. 903 01:07:37,280 --> 01:07:40,397 Well, wait, sport. Sport. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 904 01:07:40,440 --> 01:07:44,558 I think it's a much better idea if you just stayed here with your mom. 905 01:07:44,600 --> 01:07:47,319 I wanna be with you, Dad. 906 01:07:47,400 --> 01:07:49,595 Boy, I love hearing you say that. 907 01:07:49,680 --> 01:07:51,989 You mean I can go? 908 01:07:54,480 --> 01:07:57,836 Boy, this bird is dry. Haven't you people heard about basting? 909 01:07:57,920 --> 01:08:00,718 Bernard! 910 01:08:00,800 --> 01:08:04,634 - Hiya, sport. - Bernard, can I go? Please, can I go, Bernard? 911 01:08:04,720 --> 01:08:07,029 It's okay with me. 912 01:08:07,120 --> 01:08:10,351 Charlie, if, uh... 913 01:08:14,320 --> 01:08:16,197 Charlie? 914 01:08:21,840 --> 01:08:23,717 Scott! 915 01:08:25,000 --> 01:08:27,116 Charlie! 916 01:08:30,720 --> 01:08:32,995 This is our perpetrator. 917 01:08:33,040 --> 01:08:35,918 Scott Calvin, 38 years old. 918 01:08:35,960 --> 01:08:38,474 Believes himself to be Santa Claus. 919 01:08:38,520 --> 01:08:41,990 Ladies and gentlemen, this one's not gonna be easy to find. 920 01:08:42,040 --> 01:08:44,474 Uh, won't the bright red suit and beard give him away? 921 01:08:46,160 --> 01:08:49,596 Charlie's got some great ideas on how to keep you safe. 922 01:08:49,680 --> 01:08:52,035 Santa, this is Quintin, head of research and development. 923 01:08:52,080 --> 01:08:54,469 - Quintin, good to meet ya. - Hello, Santa. 924 01:08:54,520 --> 01:08:58,399 Charlie and I have put our heads together, and I think we've got a few surprises for you. 925 01:08:58,480 --> 01:09:01,950 This is some of the best stuff that's come out of the workshop since the ball. 926 01:09:02,000 --> 01:09:04,195 Fabulous. What happens if I fall off the roof? 927 01:09:04,240 --> 01:09:08,199 Is this the most current photo you have? 928 01:09:08,240 --> 01:09:10,117 Hold on. 929 01:09:14,840 --> 01:09:18,833 - Hello? - Mom. - Oh, Charlie. Oh, my God. 930 01:09:18,920 --> 01:09:22,515 Honey, how are you? Are you... Are... Where are you? Are you okay? 931 01:09:22,600 --> 01:09:25,592 I'm fine. We're up at the North Pole. 932 01:09:25,680 --> 01:09:28,148 Charlie, are you sure you're okay? 933 01:09:28,240 --> 01:09:31,437 I'm terrific! I'm helping the elves build a new sleigh. 934 01:09:31,480 --> 01:09:34,995 We're trying for a vertical takeoff. Well, gotta go. The elves need me. 935 01:09:35,080 --> 01:09:37,469 - No, Charlie, wait. No, don't hang up the phone, honey. - Don't worry, Mom. Everything's fine. 936 01:09:37,520 --> 01:09:40,717 - See you at Christmas. - Charlie, don't... Ah. 937 01:09:40,760 --> 01:09:43,752 Fireplaces will no longer be a problem. 938 01:09:48,760 --> 01:09:52,389 It's a new fabric. Completely flame retardant. 939 01:09:52,440 --> 01:09:57,116 - It's light, yet durable. - And you can wear the jumpsuit under your coat and pants. 940 01:09:57,200 --> 01:10:00,715 But what do I do if I fall off a roof? 941 01:10:00,760 --> 01:10:05,629 We'll cordon off a three-block radius around Dr Miller's house. 942 01:10:05,680 --> 01:10:08,353 Now, Calvin is to be apprehended unharmed. 943 01:10:08,400 --> 01:10:12,393 And remember, he'll probably be dressed like Santa Claus. 944 01:10:32,120 --> 01:10:35,749 Give it your best shot 945 01:10:35,800 --> 01:10:38,519 'Cause what you got is oh, so sweet 946 01:10:42,440 --> 01:10:44,590 - Freeze! - What the... 947 01:10:44,680 --> 01:10:48,832 I need a routine So gimme all your lovin' 948 01:10:48,880 --> 01:10:52,668 - It's not even my suit. It's a rental. - All your hugs and kisses too 949 01:10:55,240 --> 01:10:59,756 Gimme all your lovin' Don't let up until we're through 950 01:10:59,800 --> 01:11:03,509 "From Comet, To Santa." Did you make the card? 951 01:11:03,560 --> 01:11:05,835 It's a nice rope. Just in case I fall off the roof? 952 01:11:07,520 --> 01:11:10,557 Comet, this means a lot to me. Thanks, buddy. 953 01:11:10,640 --> 01:11:12,676 And if I blow my top 954 01:11:14,480 --> 01:11:16,914 Will you let it go to your head 955 01:11:18,320 --> 01:11:21,596 Gimme all your lovin' All your hugs and kisses too 956 01:11:21,680 --> 01:11:24,911 All right, let's go! 957 01:11:25,000 --> 01:11:27,434 - You ready to go, sport? - You betcha, Dad. - Gimme all your lovin' 958 01:11:27,520 --> 01:11:30,318 - Now Dasher, now Dancer! Now Prancer and Vixen! - All your hugs and kisses too 959 01:11:30,400 --> 01:11:33,676 On Comet, on Cupid! On Donner and Blitzen! 960 01:11:37,120 --> 01:11:41,193 Bye-bye. Bye, Quintin. Bye, Peewee. 961 01:11:41,240 --> 01:11:43,071 Merry Christmas. 962 01:11:55,960 --> 01:11:57,871 Take your time. 963 01:11:59,840 --> 01:12:02,832 Turn to your right. Hello! 964 01:12:05,840 --> 01:12:07,398 No. 965 01:12:09,040 --> 01:12:11,759 - Charlie, stay in your seat. - I gotta show you this. 966 01:12:11,800 --> 01:12:15,554 Radar-jamming jingle bells, snow screen, 967 01:12:15,600 --> 01:12:18,114 DC-10 alert and air freshener. 968 01:12:18,160 --> 01:12:22,312 - Wow. - And most important of all, your hat. 969 01:12:22,360 --> 01:12:25,591 - My hat? - It's lined with a two-way radio. 970 01:12:25,680 --> 01:12:29,389 Microphone's in here. It connects you directly to Judy. 971 01:12:29,480 --> 01:12:32,358 - Wait a minute. What's this? - Oh, that's a C.D. 972 01:12:32,400 --> 01:12:36,552 - Compact disc. - No. Cookie/ cocoa dispenser. 973 01:12:36,600 --> 01:12:38,795 The cocoa comes out nice and hot. 974 01:12:38,840 --> 01:12:42,799 - And... out pops the cookie. - Gimme all your lovin' 975 01:12:42,880 --> 01:12:47,112 - How could I have done this without you, Charlie? - You couldn't. 976 01:13:10,960 --> 01:13:16,080 - You're fatter this year. - Thank you very much. You've grown too. 977 01:13:16,160 --> 01:13:20,472 And you were a very good girl this year, but I want you to go back to sleep, okay? 978 01:13:33,200 --> 01:13:36,556 - I think the milk's a little sour. - It's soy milk. 979 01:13:36,640 --> 01:13:41,031 - Huh? - You said you were lactose intolerant. 980 01:13:41,080 --> 01:13:43,719 I did say that, didn't I? Thanks for remembering. 981 01:13:43,760 --> 01:13:45,990 Go to sleep. 982 01:13:50,000 --> 01:13:54,152 - Merry Christmas, Sara. - Merry Christmas, Santa. 983 01:13:55,640 --> 01:13:59,110 Look, there's Mom and Neal's street! Can we go there next? 984 01:13:59,160 --> 01:14:02,311 - Sure. - I made something for them at the workshop. 985 01:14:24,240 --> 01:14:26,071 Freeze! 986 01:14:27,160 --> 01:14:29,310 Ah, ho, ho. 987 01:14:29,360 --> 01:14:32,079 You officers really gave me a start. Merry Christmas, guys. 988 01:14:32,120 --> 01:14:35,874 - Not for you, fat boy. - "Fat boy"? Guys. 989 01:14:35,920 --> 01:14:39,595 - Uh-uh-uh. Nice and easy now. - Oh! 990 01:14:39,680 --> 01:14:42,319 Guys, guys, I got a lot of work to do. This is a big mistake, really. 991 01:14:42,400 --> 01:14:45,437 You gotta watch the suit too. This is so old. It's an antique, you know. 992 01:14:45,520 --> 01:14:47,476 - Where's the boy? - He's in the sleigh. 993 01:14:47,560 --> 01:14:49,710 We got Calvin. We're bringing him out. 994 01:14:49,800 --> 01:14:53,031 Santa, are you okay? Over. Over. 995 01:15:00,760 --> 01:15:03,752 - Watch your head. - Santa, are you all right? - Santa? 996 01:15:03,800 --> 01:15:08,237 - It'll be okay, kids. - Let him go! Let Santa go! 997 01:15:23,640 --> 01:15:26,313 Honey, I'm sure Charlie's fine. 998 01:15:35,680 --> 01:15:39,468 We've got a problem. Santa was at the Miller's, but he's not responding. 999 01:15:39,560 --> 01:15:43,235 Well, time to deploy E.L.F.S. 1000 01:15:48,720 --> 01:15:50,915 - Let's go! - Go! 1001 01:15:54,640 --> 01:15:57,029 Go, go, go, go! Move it! 1002 01:16:23,760 --> 01:16:26,718 Look, I know you're Scott Calvin. 1003 01:16:26,800 --> 01:16:30,952 You know you're Scott Calvin. So let's make this simple. 1004 01:16:31,040 --> 01:16:34,635 I say, name. You say, Scott Calvin. 1005 01:16:36,880 --> 01:16:39,075 Name? 1006 01:16:39,120 --> 01:16:41,350 Kriss Kringle. 1007 01:16:41,400 --> 01:16:44,358 - Name? - Sinter Klas. 1008 01:16:44,400 --> 01:16:46,868 - Name? - Pere Noel. 1009 01:16:46,960 --> 01:16:50,191 Buono Natale. Pelz-Nicole. 1010 01:16:50,280 --> 01:16:52,714 Topo Gigio. 1011 01:16:52,800 --> 01:16:57,954 Okay, Calvin. Maybe a couple of hours in the tank will change your mind. 1012 01:17:17,760 --> 01:17:19,751 - Charlie? - Yeah? 1013 01:17:19,840 --> 01:17:22,400 Don't worry. We're the good guys. 1014 01:17:22,480 --> 01:17:24,869 Come on. Let's go save Santa. 1015 01:17:28,720 --> 01:17:32,793 We can't. The police are watching this place. 1016 01:17:32,880 --> 01:17:37,078 Yeah, they probably are. But you see, we weren't figuring on walking out the front door. 1017 01:17:37,120 --> 01:17:41,352 We find that we can get around a lot faster if we fly. 1018 01:17:41,400 --> 01:17:44,233 Now... grab hold of my hand. 1019 01:17:44,280 --> 01:17:47,158 And hang on tight. 1020 01:17:47,240 --> 01:17:49,310 - And Charlie? - Yeah? 1021 01:17:49,360 --> 01:17:51,828 Don't ever try this without elf supervision. 1022 01:18:02,280 --> 01:18:04,157 Hmm? Ah! 1023 01:18:31,400 --> 01:18:33,277 We're looking for Santa Claus. 1024 01:18:33,360 --> 01:18:36,079 Go home, kids. Visiting hours are over. 1025 01:18:36,160 --> 01:18:39,709 We're not kids, and we're not visiting. 1026 01:18:39,760 --> 01:18:44,072 - We're here to bust out my dad. - You're the Calvin boy. 1027 01:18:47,440 --> 01:18:49,032 Who... Who are these other kids? 1028 01:18:49,080 --> 01:18:51,594 We're your worst nightmare. 1029 01:18:51,640 --> 01:18:54,234 Elves with attitude. 1030 01:19:07,160 --> 01:19:10,675 Shouldn't have had that doughnut. Oh! 1031 01:19:11,800 --> 01:19:13,836 Untie me! I mean it! 1032 01:19:13,920 --> 01:19:16,229 Untie... 1033 01:19:18,720 --> 01:19:20,915 - Charlie! - Are you okay, Dad? 1034 01:19:21,000 --> 01:19:23,230 I am now. 1035 01:19:30,320 --> 01:19:34,154 - How'd you do that? - Tinsel. Not just for decoration. 1036 01:19:34,200 --> 01:19:35,758 Hmm. 1037 01:19:35,840 --> 01:19:39,594 Hey, excuse me. Can I get some of that tinsel? 1038 01:19:44,760 --> 01:19:47,274 Mom? 1039 01:19:47,320 --> 01:19:49,436 Mom! 1040 01:19:49,520 --> 01:19:52,876 Neal. I'm home! 1041 01:19:52,920 --> 01:19:56,117 Charlie? 1042 01:19:56,200 --> 01:19:58,953 - Charlie? - Charlie. - Oh, my God, Charlie. 1043 01:19:59,000 --> 01:20:02,231 Sweetheart. Oh, God. Come here. Come here. 1044 01:20:02,320 --> 01:20:04,709 Oh, my boy. Oh, my sweetheart. 1045 01:20:04,760 --> 01:20:08,196 Oh! My boy, you're home! 1046 01:20:08,240 --> 01:20:11,232 Oh, I missed you so much. How are you? 1047 01:20:11,280 --> 01:20:14,875 - I'm fine, Mom. - Are you okay? Look at me. 1048 01:20:14,960 --> 01:20:17,997 - Oh, Charlie. I missed you, honey. - Mom, I'm fine. It's okay. 1049 01:20:18,040 --> 01:20:22,033 - We were so worried about you. Look at you. - Mom, put me down. Stop kissing me! 1050 01:20:22,120 --> 01:20:24,475 I don't have a lot of time. 1051 01:20:26,800 --> 01:20:29,553 Did you leave the gifts I made under the tree? 1052 01:20:29,640 --> 01:20:31,676 - You bet I did. - We better go. 1053 01:20:31,760 --> 01:20:33,990 - No, Charlie. No, no, no. - No! No, wait, Charlie. 1054 01:20:34,080 --> 01:20:36,071 It's okay, Laura. 1055 01:20:39,080 --> 01:20:40,957 Actually, I... 1056 01:20:41,040 --> 01:20:43,873 I think it's a much better idea... 1057 01:20:43,920 --> 01:20:47,595 - that you stay here with your Mom and Neal. - Really? 1058 01:20:47,640 --> 01:20:50,791 - But, Dad... - No buts, Charlie. 1059 01:20:50,880 --> 01:20:54,429 I can't be selfish. I can't be with you all the time. 1060 01:20:54,480 --> 01:20:56,596 We're a family. 1061 01:20:56,680 --> 01:20:58,875 You, me, your mom... 1062 01:21:01,040 --> 01:21:02,598 and Neal. 1063 01:21:02,640 --> 01:21:05,552 And they need to be with you too. 1064 01:21:05,640 --> 01:21:08,074 I miss you too much. 1065 01:21:10,280 --> 01:21:12,714 Come here a minute. 1066 01:21:15,280 --> 01:21:18,670 Ah, listen to me. 1067 01:21:18,760 --> 01:21:20,876 Come on, listen. There's... There's a lot of kids out there. 1068 01:21:20,920 --> 01:21:23,957 Okay? Millions of kids. 1069 01:21:24,040 --> 01:21:28,795 And they're... They all... They all believe in me. They're countin' on me, Charlie. And I... 1070 01:21:28,880 --> 01:21:32,919 I'm not gonna let them down. I got a lot of work to do. 1071 01:21:33,000 --> 01:21:37,596 So I can't be selfish either. 1072 01:21:37,680 --> 01:21:41,832 You gave me a wonderful gift, Charlie. Listen, a wonderful gift. 1073 01:21:41,920 --> 01:21:44,354 You believed in me when nobody else did. 1074 01:21:44,400 --> 01:21:46,755 You helped make me Santa. 1075 01:21:47,920 --> 01:21:50,673 Selfish? Come on. 1076 01:21:50,760 --> 01:21:54,230 You're the least... the least selfish person I know. 1077 01:21:57,680 --> 01:22:00,353 I love you, Santa Claus. 1078 01:22:01,960 --> 01:22:04,554 I love you, son. 1079 01:22:06,400 --> 01:22:08,834 Shh. 1080 01:22:08,880 --> 01:22:11,110 It's okay. 1081 01:22:11,160 --> 01:22:13,116 Okay. It's okay. Shh. 1082 01:22:21,240 --> 01:22:24,357 Laura, what do you think? Christmas Eve you guys spend with Charlie? 1083 01:22:26,960 --> 01:22:28,916 Oh, my God. 1084 01:22:31,400 --> 01:22:33,755 It's you. 1085 01:22:35,320 --> 01:22:37,436 It really is you. 1086 01:22:38,520 --> 01:22:41,353 You really are... 1087 01:22:41,440 --> 01:22:44,159 Santa Claus. 1088 01:22:44,240 --> 01:22:46,071 Pretty cool, huh? 1089 01:22:46,160 --> 01:22:48,230 Oh, my God. 1090 01:22:48,320 --> 01:22:51,630 And your parents thought I'd never amount to anything. 1091 01:22:51,720 --> 01:22:55,679 Oh, wait. Don't go yet. I have something for you. I... 1092 01:22:56,640 --> 01:22:58,471 It's Santa! 1093 01:23:01,600 --> 01:23:04,717 - Scott. - Neal. 1094 01:23:14,880 --> 01:23:17,235 - Santa? - It's okay, Neal. 1095 01:23:20,920 --> 01:23:23,115 Here. 1096 01:23:23,160 --> 01:23:25,515 It's, um... Well, it's... 1097 01:23:25,600 --> 01:23:29,354 It's my Christmas present for you. It's the, um... It's the custody papers. 1098 01:23:30,800 --> 01:23:35,237 And I want you to come and see Charlie as often as you can. 1099 01:23:35,280 --> 01:23:38,909 You can count on it. Thanks, Laura. 1100 01:23:43,840 --> 01:23:45,990 Merry Christmas. 1101 01:23:46,080 --> 01:23:49,356 What's all this boo-hooing goin' on here? Hey, how ya doin'? 1102 01:23:49,400 --> 01:23:51,675 It's nothin', Bernard. I'm just saying goodbye to Charlie. 1103 01:23:51,760 --> 01:23:55,309 What goodbye? Charlie, you still got the glass ball, right? 1104 01:23:55,400 --> 01:23:57,755 - Yeah. - Well, all you gotta do... 1105 01:23:57,840 --> 01:24:00,229 is shake it whenever you want to see your dad. 1106 01:24:00,320 --> 01:24:03,153 - Really? - He can come back to see you... 1107 01:24:03,240 --> 01:24:05,231 anytime day or night. 1108 01:24:05,320 --> 01:24:08,630 Hey, have I ever steered ya wrong? 1109 01:24:10,080 --> 01:24:11,911 Nice sweater. 1110 01:24:12,000 --> 01:24:14,878 Hey, did we make this? 1111 01:24:14,960 --> 01:24:17,315 Laura. 1112 01:24:17,360 --> 01:24:19,828 He's sucking us into his delusions. 1113 01:24:19,920 --> 01:24:23,595 Look at the elaborate measures he's taken. 1114 01:24:23,680 --> 01:24:27,229 Neal, relax. 1115 01:24:27,280 --> 01:24:29,271 I'll explain it to you later. 1116 01:24:31,600 --> 01:24:33,477 Where'd he go? 1117 01:24:45,360 --> 01:24:49,353 Go, go, go, go! Team one, heads up! 1118 01:24:56,640 --> 01:24:59,108 - Okay, stand back, folks. Give us some room. - I'm scared, Dad. 1119 01:24:59,160 --> 01:25:02,152 - Here you go, sir. - Thanks. Return to your homes! 1120 01:25:02,240 --> 01:25:05,949 - Stay off the street. Come on, folks. Let us do our job here. - Oh, my gosh. Um... 1121 01:25:06,000 --> 01:25:08,673 Excuse me. Excuse me. Hi. 1122 01:25:08,720 --> 01:25:12,076 Um, you know, you don't have to send anybody... Oh, my gosh, wait! 1123 01:25:12,120 --> 01:25:15,271 - Hey! - He's my ex-husband, and he's already up the chimney. 1124 01:25:15,360 --> 01:25:17,669 Chief, look up there. 1125 01:25:19,080 --> 01:25:21,230 Oh, Santa! 1126 01:25:22,480 --> 01:25:24,198 Santa Claus. 1127 01:25:26,360 --> 01:25:29,033 Look! 1128 01:25:34,240 --> 01:25:36,231 What is it? 1129 01:25:38,320 --> 01:25:41,118 Oh, wow! 1130 01:25:41,200 --> 01:25:43,760 Up there! Do you see it? Hey, do you see it? 1131 01:25:47,480 --> 01:25:49,994 - Goodbye, Charlie. - Bye, Dad. 1132 01:25:50,080 --> 01:25:53,834 Merry Christmas to all! And to all a good night! 1133 01:25:58,320 --> 01:26:01,437 - I'm sorry, Charlie. - That's okay, Neal. 1134 01:26:01,520 --> 01:26:05,195 You were just denying your inner child. 1135 01:26:05,280 --> 01:26:09,239 You're gonna make a great psychiatrist one day, kid. 1136 01:26:09,320 --> 01:26:13,757 No, I think I'm going to go into the family business. 1137 01:26:19,760 --> 01:26:22,832 Look out below! 1138 01:26:33,320 --> 01:26:36,073 My wienie whistle. 1139 01:27:02,480 --> 01:27:05,074 Bye, Santa Claus. Bye. 1140 01:27:05,160 --> 01:27:08,072 - Merry Christmas. - See you next year. 1141 01:27:24,360 --> 01:27:26,794 Charlie? Time to come inside. 1142 01:27:28,760 --> 01:27:31,274 Mom, this stupid ball's not working. 1143 01:27:37,760 --> 01:27:39,591 Shoot. 1144 01:27:45,200 --> 01:27:48,636 - Hey, sport. - Dad! 1145 01:27:48,720 --> 01:27:52,235 You miss me already? I've been gone, what? Ten minutes. 1146 01:27:52,280 --> 01:27:54,874 Gimme a break. I was on my way to Cleveland. 1147 01:27:55,960 --> 01:27:58,428 Come here and give me a hug. 1148 01:28:01,200 --> 01:28:03,077 Oh! 1149 01:28:05,840 --> 01:28:09,150 - Do you wanna go for a quick ride? - Yeah! 1150 01:28:09,200 --> 01:28:12,078 - Uh... - Of course, it's up to your mom. 1151 01:28:12,120 --> 01:28:14,315 Please, Mom. 1152 01:28:16,200 --> 01:28:19,431 Go on. Get outta here. 1153 01:28:19,520 --> 01:28:22,080 All right. Hold on. 1154 01:28:26,480 --> 01:28:29,358 - On our way. - Bye, Mom. 1155 01:28:33,920 --> 01:28:36,309 Just... Just a quick one. 1156 01:28:36,400 --> 01:28:40,439 And, uh, not over any oceans, Scott. 1157 01:28:40,520 --> 01:28:42,476 - Bye, Mom! - Scott. 1158 01:28:42,520 --> 01:28:46,433 - Bye. - Scott! 1159 01:28:46,960 --> 01:28:48,951 Santa! 1160 01:29:26,560 --> 01:29:29,836 All the brightly colored paper 1161 01:29:29,920 --> 01:29:33,037 Lies around the Christmas tree 1162 01:29:33,120 --> 01:29:35,350 While mothers shake their heads 1163 01:29:35,440 --> 01:29:39,956 And pack the decorations carefully 1164 01:29:46,520 --> 01:29:49,910 All the little children know that 1165 01:29:50,000 --> 01:29:53,117 Monday's just another day 1166 01:29:53,200 --> 01:29:56,431 They feel a little sad to think 1167 01:29:56,520 --> 01:29:59,717 That Santa's gone away 1168 01:29:59,800 --> 01:30:03,031 But Christmas will return 1169 01:30:03,120 --> 01:30:06,430 And joyful hearts like candles burn 1170 01:30:06,520 --> 01:30:09,796 With love for all the little ones 1171 01:30:09,880 --> 01:30:13,111 In countries far and near 1172 01:30:13,200 --> 01:30:16,431 And if we live and learn 1173 01:30:16,520 --> 01:30:19,796 To show the world our real concern 1174 01:30:19,880 --> 01:30:22,713 Then Christmas will return, yeah 1175 01:30:22,800 --> 01:30:25,792 Every year 1176 01:30:25,880 --> 01:30:29,634 Every year 1177 01:30:29,720 --> 01:30:32,029 Yeah 1178 01:30:33,320 --> 01:30:36,710 Take a little Christmas spirit 1179 01:30:36,800 --> 01:30:40,031 With you into each new year 1180 01:30:40,120 --> 01:30:43,237 Make a little Christmas spirit 1181 01:30:43,320 --> 01:30:47,677 Last till Easter Sunday's here 1182 01:30:50,040 --> 01:30:53,476 Take it with you through the summer 1183 01:30:53,560 --> 01:30:56,632 Till the autumn leaves arrive 1184 01:30:56,720 --> 01:30:59,871 In the bitter cold of winter 1185 01:30:59,960 --> 01:31:03,191 The spark is still alive 1186 01:31:03,280 --> 01:31:06,556 Christmas will return 1187 01:31:06,640 --> 01:31:09,950 And joyful hearts like candles burn 1188 01:31:10,040 --> 01:31:13,191 With love for all the little ones 1189 01:31:13,280 --> 01:31:16,556 In countries far and near 1190 01:31:16,640 --> 01:31:19,871 And if we live and learn 1191 01:31:19,960 --> 01:31:23,270 To show the world our real concern 1192 01:31:23,360 --> 01:31:26,477 Then Christmas will return 1193 01:31:26,560 --> 01:31:30,189 Every year 1194 01:31:30,280 --> 01:31:33,397 Christmas will return 1195 01:31:35,080 --> 01:31:37,435 So much 1196 01:31:37,520 --> 01:31:40,956 Love for the little ones 1197 01:31:42,680 --> 01:31:46,673 Oh, they can live and learn 1198 01:31:55,560 --> 01:31:57,835 Yeah 1199 01:31:57,920 --> 01:32:00,115 Yeah 1200 01:32:00,200 --> 01:32:03,510 Take it with you through the summer 1201 01:32:03,600 --> 01:32:07,070 Till the autumn leaves arrive 1202 01:32:07,160 --> 01:32:10,118 In the bitter cold of winter 1203 01:32:10,200 --> 01:32:15,877 See the spark is still alive 1204 01:32:15,960 --> 01:32:20,192 Oh, oh Christmas will return 1205 01:32:20,280 --> 01:32:23,397 Joyful hearts like candles burn 1206 01:32:23,480 --> 01:32:26,756 With love for all the little ones 1207 01:32:26,840 --> 01:32:30,116 In counties far and near 1208 01:32:30,200 --> 01:32:33,476 If we live and learn 1209 01:32:33,560 --> 01:32:36,313 To show the world our real concern 1210 01:32:36,400 --> 01:32:39,756 Christmas will return 1211 01:32:39,840 --> 01:32:42,149 Every year 1212 01:32:42,240 --> 01:32:45,391 Every year 1213 01:32:49,440 --> 01:32:54,230 Every year 99984