All language subtitles for Sex.Life.S01E01.WEB.H264-iNSiDiOUS

? Don't care what you
think about it ?

? Ain't here to please nobody

? I'm running undercover

? Here comes trouble now

? Me and my wicked ways

? I'll get you into
trouble now ?

? It's just so hard to behave

? Got you seeing double, now

? I'm the one
your mama told you ?

? I'll play
the one that's told you ?

? A risk you can't afford

? And here comes trouble now

? Turning it up all night

? Got you feeling all right

? Turning it up all night

? Got you feeling all right

? Get you into trouble, now

- One would imagine
that in America,

we're a lot more liberal
when it comes to sexuality.

In our country,
we're still so judgmental.

Things are very taboo.

- Right now it's not
really happening for me.

I just survived
The Summer of Celibacy.

- I would say my sex life is--

I'm a very, like,
erotic kind of guy,

so I like the--
the slow, passionate--

you know, I like the build-up.

- If I could eat pussy
all day, I would.

But to me,
what I love the most is,

I like to eat pussy,
like to have sex,

When I'm done,
I gotta go have a sandwich.

People know that about me.
When I'm done having sex,

I'm gonna go have a sandwich,
come back,

and have sex again.

And then I'm gonna go get
another sandwich.

- Ideally, I'd have sex
twice a day.

Breakfast,
and fucking dinner.

- I think talking about sex

is highly important

for everyone to do,

because we don't
talk about it enough.

- I'm London.
- I'm Donovan.

- Kelly.
- Michael, and this--

- And this--
- And this--

Both: And this is our sex life.

- Oww!
- But don't tell my mother.

- People come to
these Erotic Sleepovers

because they really need
and want to experience

true freedom and liberation.

- There's a spiritual
component of it.

Really getting into the energy,
learning about energies

and the sensuality
of it all.

Sex is good.
We say "yes" to pleasure.

We say "yes" to variety,
both women and men.

We say "yes" to sharing!

- I want them to leave
with their lives changed

forever at their core.

That's the power of
what we're doing here.

- You have 360 degrees
of access to your partner.

- Right.
- And so you can really

position her in any position
and play

and just have
a really good time.

- We have been married
for three years,

been together for four.

Loving every single
moment of it.

- You better.
- [ chuckles ]

- She's spicy.

Very, very spicy.

- Are you from Atlanta?
- No.

- No?
- We've only been here

for about a year now.
She's from New York.

- New York.
- Louisiana.

- Oh, okay, okay.

- Bringing in an extra toy
or two, whatever,

it's spicy, it's sexy.

It keeps
your relationship alive.

- I think this toy is a really--
an amazing showpiece.

- Hmm.
- It enhances everything.

- Exactly, and that's
what we're about.

We're about enhancing
each other's pleasure.

- Yeah.
- That's what we're here for.

- And if it can enhance

more than what he already does?

- Mm-hmm.
- I'll just be like,

coming on the walls.

- Bring your poncho.
Bring your poncho.

He's just looking at me.

- Hey, if you can work up
to it and you feel

comfortable with it,
I say let's go for it.

- Do you think they'll
have some of those

at the Erotic Sleepover?

- All right, son everybody,

we're gonna go ahead
and get started.

First off, I want to say
thank all of y'all people

for coming and participating
in Erotic Sleepover 3.0.

I don't know how many
of you guys know me,

but I am gonna introduce
myself so you know

who the fuck I am.

I'm Cidney Green.
This is my brain child.

It started off as just
an idea and here we are,

three years later,
doing it.

And this is actually
a bit surreal.

You know what I'm saying?
So it's cool!

An Erotic Sleepover
is an all-inclusive,

luxury, spiritual,
sexual retreat.

The people that come
to the Erotic Sleepover,

you get all walks of life.

I think the common thread
that keeps all of us together

is the desire for sexual
freedom and sexual expression.

And what I provide here
is just really a safe place.

It has to be safe
as far as not being judged,

safe as far as
just physical safety

and it's a very loving,
warm environment.

- I mean...

I've never been on
an Erotic Sleepover before.

- Mm-hmm.

- So I'm just...nervous?

- Nervous?
- Nervous.

- What kind of things
make you nervous about it?

- Being outside of our bedroom.

- Right, that's--

- So, again, we haven't
been outside

of our bedroom, sexually.

So being there
with a bunch of people--

I don't even know
how many people--50 people.

You know what I mean?
It's just gonna be like--

it's--it's not normal,
it seems.

But then, what's normal?

- Yeah, nobody else can
define your normal,

but you.

- I guess.

- So let's go define our normal.

- I guess.

So hopefully, like,
we walk in and just find

the people that we're looking
to hook up with.

- Uh-huh.
- Like, that's the dream.

- That's the dream scenario?

- Like, I don't want
to go searching.

- All right,
so you open the door.

Boom. Pow. Door open.

You walk in.
Describe the person you see.

- Girl or guy?

- Let's start with guy.

- Shirtless.
- Okay.

- Abs.
- All right.

- And he's sweating.
- Okay.

- He's like--

Sweat, sweat, sweat,
sweat, sweat. "You!"

And then I'm just like,
"Oh, ah!"

And then you're like,
"Do you want him?"

And then I'm just like,
"Yeah,"

and then we, like,
attack him.

Like, that's my--
when we walk through the door.

- Uh-huh.
- That's fantasy.

- First thing?
- First thing.

- Okay.
- Soon as we open the door.

And it's just like "Whoa!"

- I think, honestly,
if more people did this,

there'd be a lot less cheating
in relationships.

- There would be,
and people would be together.

- That's one thing I can say.
- People would be together

and people would be happy.

- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

I agree.

- High five! Pow!

- What about this space?

What about--we could
put some maybe in here?

- We have to have a place
for people to sleep.

- Are those
air mattresses fluffy?

This is looking kind of--
it's still looking kind of--

Yeah, like, there needs
to be no wrinkles in it.

Stephanie, do you have all the
alcohol stations planned out?

I can put that
in Milo's quarters

if you want to,
with the trays.

I don't know if you want
the trays to be

already in Milo's quarters or
have the trays at your station.

- Yeah, the trays are
gonna be split up.

- So this year's
Erotic Sleepover,

we're gonna have 30 guests.

And this venue is by far
the best venue we've ever had,

the biggest and the most
grandest venue we ever had.

So I just can't wait
for people to see it.

Thank y'all.
Again, if I'm sharp,

it is not because I don't
love and appreciate y'all.

I'm just--
this is just sharp time.

Like, I gotta be sharp.

I grew up
in Monroe, Louisiana,

obviously the South, okay.

So my mom did not raise
us in the church

like a lot of families were.

Even though my mom was
relatively liberal,

you still get
those ideals that sex is--

you shouldn't do it
and masturbation is bad.

But I started playing
with my pussy young.

I started masturbating young,
okay?

I started figuring out
that things felt good

when you touched
them a certain way

when I was about eight.

And to this day,
you should not trust me

around pool jets
because I will position myself

and act like I'm
reading a book when really,

I'm letting
the water hit my clit.

Yes, I like that.

But, I'm saying all this
to say

I still remember feeling guilt
about sexuality.

I had to figure out a way
to stop giving a fuck

about what I thought
a man wanted or what I thought

society expected of me,
being a black woman.

And I had to sit with myself,
just really figuring out

if there was no such thing
as a social norm at all,

would I like having more
than one man that love me? Yes.

Would I want to be
monogamous? No.

Would I want to have
sex as much as I want

and all this
other time? Yeah.

And I fell in love
with all of it.

And I fell in love with
the person who

had those beliefs
and had those desires.

And so yeah, I figured out
who the fuck I was

and fell in love with
that person and here you are.

I was repressed and now I'm not.

- This is what we've
been waiting for.

- Yep.
- The moment we have

been waiting for.
- Here we go.

Look how huge this house is!

Don't forget your mask.
- I got it. You got yours?

- Yeah.
- All right.

- Sounds loud in there.

- Hello.
- Hello!

Hello! Hello! Hello!

- Cidney is my sister.

- Cidney is your sister, really?
- Yes.

- All right, I'm Mike.
It's nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you.
Welcome, welcome.

- You're in room one.

'Cause you're number one.

- We are number one. Ohh!
- Ohh!

- When people come
to my events,

it's a very freeing,
liberating feeling.

You get to be yourself.

They get to know themselves
on a level

that they've never gotten
to know themselves before.

- Thank you, and your name is?
- Kamia.

- And her titties are not fake.
They are real.

- I see, they're gorgeous!
- They look very real.

- Those are real tits.
- Very, very, real.

- Are yours real too?
- If you need a towel,

if you need your head massaged,
whatever it is.

- Which head, though?

- My name is Princess.

I'm the event manager
and model coordinator

for the Erotic Sleepover
this year.

I'm here for both of you.

I'm here all night
if you need me.

People are really coming
just for that ambiance,

for that freedom,
for the spirituality.

- I'm looking forward
to a whole lot of voyeurism.

Like, I want to see
all sorts of sex.

All sorts of sex--
juicy sex, saucy sex,

morning sex,
nighttime sex.

I want to see sex, sex, sex.

In the room,
in the closet, everywhere.

This event has a spiritual
twist or spin to it.

- Yes, yes, and you are?

- I'm J. Jose!

- J. Jose! All right, man!

Good to meet you, man.
Good to meet you.

- So it's not your typical orgy
or sex party at all.

- That's what I'm talking about.
Get it girl, get it, get it.

- It's my quads.
- I need to get more like you.

I should start twerking more.

- What do you do?

- Eat fish.

- Brown people are
very sexually inhibited.

Don't believe all
the twerk videos you see on TV.

That's not the truth,
not for the mass populace.

We're not liberated in that way.

So if people come and
they just really want

to have good, clean, open fun,

an event like this can
open them up

to another
part of themselves

that they didn't know existed.

- We have a couple of
activities for you guys, okay?

But the first thing we're
gonna do

is introduce
you to King Heff.

- I teach the sensual art
of impact play, right?

So tonight, I'm gonna do
a little demonstration.

We're gonna do a little
breath play, okay?

So if y'all don't
know what breath play is,

breath play is a little
choking, all right?

So before I do this,
consent is very key

and very sexy, all right?

So Junita, do I have your
consent to choke you tonight?

Yes.

- I'm watching everything
you guys do.

- Consent is very important.

Consent for everything,
not even just sex, okay?

If you want to touch somebody,

you have to get a hard "yes."

Anything that's not a "hell yes"
is a "hell no."

A "I guess you can"?

No. That's a "no," okay?

Everything has
to be a hard "yes."

- Oh, yes sir!

- I had strict
Caribbean parents,

and I grew up very private.

In my house,
we always were clothed.

You know, come out the shower,
you have a towel on,

you have a robe on,
you have something on.

So if I ever had anything
little on with company over,

my mom's like,
"Put on some pants."

You know, so we were
very covered.

Very--you know, sex wasn't open.

So just seeing everyone
do that was a lot.

- Remember
that 10,000 years ago,

prior to sexual repression.

Prior to the Victorian Age!

- I could definitely tell

that she was first starting
to get uncomfortable

right when we started
to sit on the beds.

And I think it was just
the overwhelming

of emotions
and sensory overload,

kind of with everything
that was going on.

So it was just a lot for
her to take in

and it was--it just started
going south, unfortunately.

- In societies where people
take care of each other,

all people have sex
together, who want to.

- And that's why I tried
to pay more attention to her,

every once in a while,
reach over and give her a kiss,

grab her hand
and try to hold her close,

let her know that everything's
going to be all right.

- If you would,
come around this way

and we're gonna get into
an exact circle.

Preferably male, female,
male, female.

- I'm going to
the room real quick.

- Say again?

- I'm going to
the room real quick.

- You need me?

- She's in the bathroom.

- Oh.
- She'll be back.

- ...where you're going
to practice consent.

So the woman is going
to ask for a sexual favor.

- How do I kiss two people
at the same time?

- We can kiss you
at the same time.

- Okay, that works for me.

- Four, three, two,
and motherfucking one.

- I felt uptight,
a little prudish.

Like, "Oh my god,
they're naked!"

Like, you know what I mean?

So I just needed something
to loosen up

and nothing was working.

- Where are you at?
Come on, scatter,

scatter, scatter.

Get new groups!
Come on, scatter.

- It was just like,
"Come on, Sunshine."

- Is anybody gonna
come to my bed?

- I would like to have
an ass massage

at the same time
as having a boob massage.

- Okay.

- Is that something
you guys can do?

- We can do that.
- [ laughs ]

- We can do that.

You can take one of each

and I'll take one of each.
- I got you.

Yes!

I'm surrounded by
beautiful, younger men.

- Oh, of course.

- I didn't really know
what was going on out there

but I wasn't comfortable enough
to go back out there.

- Very strong.

Women, you can tell
your guy that they are

very powerful,
they are very strong.

[ voice on phone video ]
...change your expectation

- You're very soft, very silky.

- So I don't know, I didn't
really know how to feel.

...absence of what you want,

you'll get in the presence
of what you want.

It's just that simple.

Distraction from
the absence of what you want.

- What's going on, babe?
Come here.

- Hey, go out there
and have fun.

- It's okay, I do understand
and I thank you.

But I want you to go
out there and enjoy yourself.

- Look...

- For those people
who've never been

to an Erotic Sleepover before,

first thing I would say is,
feel the nervousness,

feel some of the fear
and work through it.

Because on the other side
of fear is everything

that you've ever desired.

- So I know how last night
ended and we continue

to try and support
each other and

make sure we don't get
a repeat of last night.

- In my head, I was like,
"Yeah, we're gonna do this,

"we're gonna do that.
Oh, my God,

what if we had six guys?
What if you had--"

And you know, it was
all of this built-up excitement.

And then when I get there,
it was just a shock.

I didn't know what to expect
and it was just--

it was very overwhelming,
I guess.

- If you're not doing well
and you're not feeling well,

I'll get you up
and I'll bring you out.

You won't even have
to do that on your own.

- Okay, I appreciate that.

- I got you, babe.
- I appreciate that.

- Hey!

- So you guys are ready to play?

- The lovely Miss Princess.

- You look beautiful!
- Thank you!

I'm still gonna give you guys
your massage tonight.

- Princess has just told me
about this massage

since we've been here.

She's like "Oh, my God.

Wait till you feel my massages!"

So we're excited to see
Princess's skills.

Ooh!

- Soft kisses on my leg.

- I don't know what you're
talking about.

- I would like
to feel more open.

I felt like I was closed off
yesterday to almost everything.

To take everything outside
of the bedroom,

into this open forum,
you know,

is completely opposite
of what I'm used to.

So I want to be open about it.

Yeah.

- How does your butt feel?

- So good.

- How does it feel for you?
- So soft.

- Your skin is soft!

I've gotten a lot of massages
in the past,

but like, this was different.

She would rub a leg,
and then Mike would rub a leg,

and it was very soft,
very sensual.

For me to just have a moment
with my husband, Princess,

all in that like, more
comfortable type of setting,

I had more of a calmness to me.

Oh! That felt amazing!

Let me just relax and
everything is going to be okay.

So, it's just
a different mindset

going into the second day.

Ah, I feel so relaxed!
- Yeah, you do.

- People coming to an Erotic
Sleepover for the first time,

your programming and your
conditioning is gonna come up.

You're gonna feel triggered,
you're gonna feel uncomfortable.

- So I support people
in shifting their mindset.

You want to feel that feeling
and push forward anyway.

Or ask for support,
move through it,

so that you can open up,
de-stress,

and come back to
your natural, sexual self.

- Hmm.

- Hey.

- Come hither.

- Hi, what you guys doing?

- It's a special contest.

- Special contest?

- Oh, wow.
- It's one on one.

- Let's go. Let's do it.

- All right, let's go.

- Let's go.

- Ready, ladies?
- Let's go. Let's do it.

- We're on the beds
and they both just

went to town on us,
and that was exciting.

That was definitely exciting.

Oh, shit! [ moans ]

Mike pleasuring me
while another woman

next to me
was definitely new.

We have never
done that before, ever.

It was hot to hear her
moaning from being pleasured

from her guy
and then I'm moaning

from being pleasured
from my guy.

It was all a hot experience.
It's definitely a fantasy

that we didn't
even realize we had.

- At this point, I am wet.

So I was just like "Oh, no,
no, no, no, this has to happen.

"He gon' stick it in.

He gon' stick it in
or I'm gon' stick it in."

We just had to
get into the sex.

There was just
no other way to do it.

- Like, we just toned
everybody out from around us

and we were just doing us,
we were being us.

We did come here
for new sexual experience,

so that was, by golly,
a new experience.

It was so exciting just
to be there and to feel it

and to feel them
and their energy

and what they're going through.

And for it to be
something new for us

that we did together
for the first time,

it was beautiful.
It was wonderful.

- With Erotic Sleepovers,
I'm creating

a culture of acceptance
and really working through

the barriers of things
that society just does not

talk about, especially
in the black community.

We really are
creating a culture

of melananted acceptance
and sex positivity.

That's what we do here.

That's what the fuck
the culture's about.

- I hope we get
to do this again, baby.

It was so much fun with you.

- It was very fun
with you as well,

and it's a maybe
on doing it again.

What I expected it to be,
which was just sex everywhere

and everyone acting crazy
and things like that.

- Right.
- It wasn't like that.

- Okay.
- I mean, there was

sex everywhere and everyone
was acting crazy, yes.

But it was more than that.
It was more than that.

- Right.
- So it surpassed expectation.

We're out of here.

- Ahh! No! Don't leave!

- I thought maybe
there would be another

Erotic Sleepover in the future.

I don't know how soon, though.

- I don't want you guys
to leave, seriously.

- I know.
I wish we didn't have to.

- I didn't get to do anything
strange with y'all.

- I didn't like that.
- I know,

we didn't do
anything with you.

- I feel the same way,

that I would definitely
love to do

another Erotic Sleepover
in the future.

Not too sure when,
but because of what

this experience did for us,
I would love to do it again.

I would love to experience
more new things

and continue to build
on our relationship,

continue to build
on the sexuality,

continue to build
on the community that we found

and just keep going.

So I do believe
we would be back.

- We might.

Thank you so much.

- Oh, Lord, save me.

- We love you!

- I think my ultimate
fantasy man is long hair,

long beard, Viking-like.

- Usually, I tend to like boys

that look like Cindy Crawford.

Sometimes, like, a short-haired
archeologist will pop up.

- My fantasy woman
is a very strong,

dark-skinned woman,

is what I always
thought I was gonna be with.

And I fell in love with
blonde hair, blue-eyed,

all-American woman
and I'm completely happy.

- If I could have
my fantasy man,

he would look exactly like
Michael B. Jordan.

I'm thinking about like 6'3".

I really like tall men,
even though I am 4'11".

We're not gonna talk
about that, though.

We're talking about
the dream guy.

- My ultimate fantasy
woman would be

probably like a '60s
sort of spy movie Bond girl

mixed with
a little bit of a vampire--

like, just a touch.

That's also
like Jennifer Connelly,

"Career Opportunities"
with, like, a little bit

of Sharon Tate going on.

You know, just ballpark.

- When you're watching
VR porn,

you're immersed
in the experience.

- Hello.

You feel like you've
been transported

to this new place.

It's about creating
a sense of connection

in addition to arousal.

- I still can't believe
we're doing this.

- And that's what I think
VR is really, really great at,

is making you feel connected
with the person

that you're watching.

- It's an intensely erotic,
sensual, and sensory experience.

She's right there
in front of you.

She's talking to you,
she wants you,

and you're now
your own porn star, basically.

- I want you feel
your skin against my skin.

- Rolling.

- Rolling.
- Action.

- I've been performing in porn
for about ten years now,

though I don't perform
much anymore.

After I shot my first VR
solo scene,

we watched it
on the early Oculus Rift.

And I hate watching myself
on camera,

I hate watching my own scenes,
but when I watched that,

I felt present and transported

and this sense of awe
and whimsy and wonder.

And that was sort of
the moment that I realized

that this medium is gonna
be really incredible

for the content that I produce.

For this occasion.

- I like that.
- We like this, right.

- So first of all, let me hear
what you were thinking.

- So I want to do
a lot of oral stuff.

I want to do the lollipop.
I want to do the vape.

But I was thinking pantyhose
because I have

a lot of pantyhose fans
and it's something

that makes me feel sexy.
- Okay.

- The adult industry has
been on the forefront

of technology
for quite some time.

And you want to stay
ahead of the game,

you want to give your viewers
something exciting

and something
that entices them

to keep paying
for your content.

And I think that with VR,
that's definitely been the case.

- Alex?
- Yep?

- We're ready.
- Okay.

- When you're watching
something on your phone

or your computer
or on your TV,

there's literally a fourth wall
that is in front of you.

But when you put
the headset on,

all of that goes away.

The fourth wall is broken.

- All I want is for you

to be right here with me,
right now.

And here you are.

- Oh, my God.

- Ana, my colleague, she's
innovative, she's brilliant,

she's pioneered so many things.

And she makes
the best VR porn

that you're ever gonna see.

- Literally, you're gonna
come right in here.

- Okay.

- What I'm looking
to do in VR porn

is to affect you emotionally.

Give you an experience,
so that you feel,

when you come away
from it, like,

just maybe you were
in a different place.

- How did you sleep?

- The big thing
that really blew people away

is your favorite performer
is right there in front of you.

And you look through
the headset

and there is the star
looking at you,

and she feels real.

- And you can look down
and there's a body

that sort of becomes your body.

- I mean, you feel like
you feel good.

It's pretty cool.

- And that's the cool thing
about VR.

It's almost like there's
this physical sensation

that happens when you
watch something

that feels so immersive.

Black Box was born
out of the idea of

taking VR to another level.

We're going to make
VR porn even more immersive.

We're gonna make VR porn
even more realistic.

- Black Box is
a solo VR series.

It's a performer
in literally a black box

with a camera in it
and the performer

is right in front
of the camera.

So when you watch it,
you feel like you're

in this very isolated space

with the performer
in front of you...

- Camera.
- ...talking to you.

- I'm so glad that we can
be here together right now.

- Engaging with you.

- You caught my eye
from the minute you boarded.

Um, I'm not supposed to
give second drinks.

But you're so cute,
I couldn't help myself.

- Enticing you.

Flirting with you.

- Can I place my lips
against your lips?

- What I wanted to
create was an experience

where it's
just you and the girl

and all you can see
and hear

is what she is saying
directly to you.

- Are you feeling relaxed
with me right now?

- You're not distracted
by the other things

that are happening, because
there's nothing else to see.

- I feel so comfortable
with you.

- You feel a sense of reciprocal
affection and attraction.

- You've just got
the most beautiful eyes.

I just can't stop
staring at you.

- The audio plays
a very important role.

So remember, this is
a lot about the audio.

It's way turned up.
- Okay.

- ASMR stands for autonomous
sensory meridian response.

- Cheers.

- It's really big right now.

There's a Super Bowl commercial,

all the kids
are doing it on YouTube.

You're watching and listening

to certain cues and triggers

that create a sensation
within your body.

People describe tingles.

They describe extreme states
of relaxation.

They're affected by it,
physically.

- Mm.

- The ears, I use binaural mics.

It's actually shaped
like ears

and the microphones themselves
are imbedded

within the ear canal
so that the sound quality

is very similar to what
you would hear naturally.

This is like a guy's eyes
and his ear length.

And I thought, "This would
be an incredible way

to use ASMR techniques..."

- ...and adapt that

into a virtual reality
porn scene."

- So you have the ultimate
sensory experience...

- ...and just blow your mind.

Wow.

Action, Ela.

- Combining ASMR and VR,

it seems like kind of
the obvious next step.

With binaural microphones,

with positional sound
within the headset,

you can take
an ASMR experience

and really bring it
to a whole new level.

- Rolling. Action!

- just...yeah.

- I kind of just want to
show you everything about me.

And I just want you
to see me,

not as a stewardess,

but just as a woman

who just wants to be touched.

- What I wanted to do
was to create an experience

that men, women,
or whomever

could watch and feel
like they were included

and being spoken to.

- It's not that I do
this on every flight.

Honestly, I've been
in this business for

two years now and
this is--

you are honestly
the first passenger.

- So I specifically
told the girls,

no "Your cock
is getting hard."

No "I want you to jerk it off."

None of that.

- God, just looking at you,

you just make me want
to touch myself.

- Why not create it
for everybody?

We're already
suspending reality.

- I just feel like you see me.

- And so, that was very
important to me,

to make sure that it
was gender-neutral.

- I want to feel you.

I want to feel your body.

I want to feel your flesh.

Think of a secret
that nobody else knows.

I'm so glad to have you
here with me.

- I'm excited to see
where this goes.

I'm excited to see where--
how it's received.

This project has really
opened up this desire

to keep pushing
the envelope and seeing

where we can take this next
and how we can refine it

and make it
an even better experience.

- Come back and play with me
again soon.

- Cut.

- I think I go both ways
in the bedroom.

I prefer to be submissive
but men are cowards.

Sorry, you guys,
I don't mean all men.

I just mean the ones
I've been with.

- I wear the suit and the tie.
I'm the boss.

She can wear whatever
she wants and,

you know, she's a submissive.
You know, that's how it works.

- I was friends with a couple.

And they had asked me
to partner with the husband

and I was
super uncomfortable with that.

I'm like,
"What if it goes awry?"

- I have introduced Pat
to BDSM

and it is something
that we experiment.

It's good, as long as
you keep it safe

and know
each other's limits.

We do use spanking, yes.

And Pat does enjoy that.

She's sometimes
asked me to do that.

- When I was in
my BDSM relationship,

I was such a bitch,
I would never use the safe word

and it freaked him out.

I wanted to see how far
his boundaries would go

and he was way more of
a chicken than I.

- When you're really sick,
you look at the world

in such a different way.

So many things seem
so trivial

when you're literally
fighting to save your life.

Our association with pain
before was positive.

Kink pain and medical pain

are just two
completely different things

and it was something
that we had to deal with.

- Cool, okay.

Radishes, peppers.

Yeah, that's it.

Have to have that pre-heated.

Medium pot with water.

We'll do orange.

Peel and medium dice, okay.

Hi. I know, you're waiting
for food to drop. Mm-hmm.

How long have we been
doing these for?

- I mean, we started after
you moved in, right?

- Yes.

- So probably two years or so.

We used to say
"kiss girlfriend."

Now it should be--
- "Kiss wife," yeah.

- The extra ingredient

that they don't include
in the recipes.

- Kinzie and I have
been together for

about three and a half years

and married
for the past few months.

- We met on a BDSM
social networking website.

He found me on
the "Kinky Jews" group.

Yeah.

The first date was awesome.

We ended up doing
some spanking

on the roof
of our building.

And I remember just crying,

but it wasn't
a cathartic cry.

I just realized
I had never felt so safe

with another person before.

I mean, when I started

I was mainly
looking for kink stuff.

I had, like, no idea...
- Yeah.

...about the poly world.

- I introduced you to that,
I guess.

- You introduced me
to the poly world.

- We like to say that
we're, you know,

emotionally monogamous
to each other

but physically
non-monogamous.

- I mean, to say
that there's never jealousy,

that's just not accurate.

But jealousy to us isn't
an ugly negative emotion.

It's something
that we can grow from.

- I find it a turn-on
knowing that my partner

is enjoying herself
with other people.

- I've had a lot of friends
tell me,

"I don't know if
I could handle your life."

- It's not for everybody.

- It's definitely
the most work

I've ever put
into a relationship

and it's definitely
the best relationship

I've ever been in.

- Likewise.
- Yeah, so...

- For me, I like that he can
give women positive experiences.

I'm very close with
all of his female partners.

They're very good
friends of mine.

- Come on.

Come on.

August of 2016, I started
feeling pain in my chest

that kind of felt
like a sore muscle.

And then I went
for a breast exam

at Planned Parenthood.

And they said,
"Let's do a biopsy."

'Cause I have a family history
of breast cancer.

We have a family history
of the BRCA1 mutation.

And what the doctor
said to me, she said,

"We found some cancer cells."

So I said,
"So it's a cancerous tumor?"

And she said, "Yes." And I said,
"So it's breast cancer?"

And she said, "Yes."

- It was-- I mean, that
conversation was very surreal.

I don't think it
fully sunk in right away.

I mean, it definitely
took days, weeks, kind of,

to realize, like,
what we were in for.

- He was with me
at every appointment

and was there for me
the entire time

when all of this
was going on.

- It was a long journey
but we made it through it.

- Mm-hmm.

- I mean, we didn't
really have the kink lifestyle

when I was going through
cancer, we couldn't.

- Yeah. I mean, we were just
so preoccupied.

We just needed that simplicity.

That whole part
of our relationship

had to be put on hold.

- The focus wasn't
on us being monogamous.

The focus was on me not dying.

"If I have cancer,
we're getting a dog."

"Okay."

What 25-year-old gets
breast cancer?

- Didn't realize
what I was getting into.

- Into the dog or
into the whole marriage?

- In terms of agreeing
to the dog.

- Do you want to go look
at stuff for tonight?

We don't have to decide now,
we can just look.

- Yeah.
- So tonight,

we're going
to a BYO kink party.

We haven't been to
a kink party since cancer

so this is a big deal for us.

Okay, so we don't want
any floggers

'cause they're gonna be--
we're gonna hit people.

It was really challenging
going through cancer

and being kinky.

My first surgery was
a really big one.

I had a 10-hour surgery.

I had did a total mastectomy
of the left breast.

They took out 12 lymph nodes.

So these are the scars
on my thighs.

When they reconstructed
my left breast,

they took tissue
from both sides of the thigh.

They cut the tissue out and
they made it into a new breast.

This big circle here.

And then I have the scars
on the side of my breasts

that are actually
looking really good.

- This is one that's always fun.

- So right now,
we are slowly getting back

into the kink world.

I like it better, I think,
when it's moved faster.

When it's really slow,
it reminds me of needles

and that's, like,
not a good reminder for me.

- Mm-hmm.
- Not a good image for me.

- We want to get back
to how we were before cancer.

- I'm gonna wear one
of my corsets.

Maybe I'll pare them down
and I can ask Daphne which one.

I'll ask Daphne.

- Okay, which corset?

Because you were saying
that you were thinking--

wait, what happened to the--
oh, no, this is the purple one.

My name is Daphne and
I would identify as

being bi-sexual, kinky,
and ethically non-monogamous

or polyamorous.

You have a lot of corsets.
I did not know

that you had this many.
- I have six corsets.

I have a collection.
I want 12.

- Lady, I have, like, two.

- I found Daphne intriguing,
and, like,

asked her out
on a coffee date.

Kinzie came home.

Daphne and I were
in bed together

and Kinzie just kind of--

- Joined.
- Joined and--

- And then--
- So, I love the design of this,

but I think I look better
in this one.

- I think you should
go with this one.

- She helped me through cancer

and she's always
in our lives.

My thighs are smaller now,
as you see from

the gigantic scars that I have
running down my legs.

- Yes.
- Yeah.

- The scar is numb.
- Yeah.

- That's like the main thing,
is the sensation of my body--

- Is different.
- Feels so different.

When I was going through
physical therapy,

even though my thighs
were completely healed,

it still felt like
there was pain,

even though there wasn't.

In terms of kink
and enjoying positive pain,

my body felt weird
about it but my head

was like, "I really want this."

It's getting my body
back into that.

It's my first time in a corset
since my last surgery.

- Nice.

It's good.

- Oh, my God,
my boobs are so much flatter

than they used to be!

- Correct.
- Elan, I'm so flat now!

What happened to my boobs?

- She says,
with this curvature to her.

- I think going to parties
will help me

feel more comfortable
with my new body.

It's kind of like a first step
back into the kinky world.

I feel nervous, so it's just
a matter of me making sure

I use my safe word and that I
don't push myself too hard.

- Hello.

- Oh, it's warm in here.

- Are you familiar
with our rules?

- Yes.
- We are.

- Of course.
- Thank you.

- Enjoy.
- Thanks.

You know, we walk in.

It was exciting because

there's a good amount
of people there.

It's a space
we're familiar with.

I have to mark my territory.

- Marking your territory?
- Yes.

- I think that Kinzie
wants to get back into impact,

get back into
feeling that she's

reclaiming parts of her kink.

- I'm gonna be doing a lot of...
[ deep breath ] tonight.

- And going into that with
both her partner and with me

is a very comfortable way
of doing that

and feeling like they can

start to reclaim
that part of their lives.

- Oh, I like that thing.

Can we do that thing
with impact?

- Yeah.
- We can.

- Yeah, I want to do that
with impact.

These cuffs hanging
from this metal bar

reminded me of the first time
I was suspended from rope

and that was a really
good experience for me.

- We'll do, you know,
a good warm-up and build-up.

- Yes, please.
- Yes.

- It's been a while since
I've had impact, so...

- I know.
- Okay, I love you.

- It's a challenge for us
getting back to our lifestyle

because finding
that, like, line

between good pain
and bad pain is tricky.

- You look so happy.

- The voyeurism and
exhibitionism of public parties

is a big draw for us.

- Kink for me is definitely
a big stress relief.

I also like the different
personalities that come out,

like my brat persona.

You're gonna mess up my hair.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

Yeah.

Such a brat.
- I'm such a brat.

I love being a brat because
so much of my life

is about being in control.

And when I'm a brat,
I don't have to keep composure.

I don't have expectations.
I don't have to be in control.

- By nature, I am very shy
and introverted.

But when I'm in a scene
at a public party,

I'm focused on my partner,

I'm focused on
the task at hand.

- You're supposed to encourage.
You're not playing tonight.

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

I said "Ow!"

- "Ow" is not a safe word.

- Okay.
- Okay.

I felt some anxiety
building up.

I realized I actually just
needed the scene to be done.

- Yeah.
- That's fine.

- Emotions are kind of
starting to bubble up.

- It is.

- I have to undo
the corset a little bit.

I just need a break.

I need to undo it a little bit.

I got it. I got it.

So much better.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

A lot of the impact we were
doing was pretty light.

It's not something that is
really, really painful.

But after, I came down
a lot harder than I normally do

for bratty scenes.

I don't know why,
but that scene

took more out of me
than I thought it would.

I feel like I'm emotionally
drained right now.

Usually, I can focus
on one type of pain

or one place
the pain's coming from.

It was more of a challenge
than I was anticipating.

I have to know my body's limits.

- Yes.
- Which doesn't always align

with what I
actually want to do, yeah.

There's this huge part
of me that wanted it

and then this other part of me
that was scared of it.

I think something in
your mind triggers, like,

"I'm allowed to be upset
if I'm in physical pain."

- You feeling like this
is very normal.

- I know.
- I would think.

- I'm okay.

I love you a lot.
- I love you a lot.

- I'm glad we're back out here.
- Mm-hmm.

- I feel like I didn't
fully get the release

I'm used to with impact.

Can we do a little more
impact, like on a bed?

- Do you think that's what--
- Yeah.

- Okay.
- I think I need a little more,

just like--
I don't think I hit a peak.

- Straight impact?
- Yeah.

So I want to like,
do straight impact

where I can just relax and
have him hit me

and get out
whatever I need to get out.

? All these choices
that we make ?

? How they leave

? The mended ones to break

- Knowing that I have this
person who's holding my hand...

- You can squeeze.

- ...and helping me through
something that I chose to do

is very important for me.

And I think really,
mentally healing

past the cancer process.

? And I despise
your wicked love ?

? Your

? Your wicked love

Aah!
Yellow, yellow.

I was in so much pain
for so long,

for me to be able to get
that cathartic release,

to do some impact
and experience positive pain

and feel safe again,

reaffirms "Oh, this is stuff
that we dolike to do."

And it's almost nostalgic
in a way.

- Did I do good?
- You did very good.

- You did good.

? Your wicked love

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

- This one's really good.

- I like mine better.

- Well, I like mine better.
- Well, fine, then.

We'll just both be happy.
- Okay.

- It was really nice to, like,
get back out there tonight.

- Mm-hmm.

- Um.

- I liked the bratty scene.
- Mm-hmm.

The night at House of Scorpio
was a lot of fun.

It was really nice
to get back out there

and feel more like ourselves
again and feel that bonding.

- It's a good reset for us.

The party atmosphere, like,
helped me get in the headspace.

- Yay.
- That was good.

- Yeah, you felt, like,
back to your old self,

which was nice.
- Mm-hmm.

- I haven't felt that
excitement for play in a while.

- Yay.
- So it's nice to, like,

go and be excited about things.

- Mm-hmm.
- It's nice to feel excited.

- Yeah.
We deserve nights like this.

- Yeah.

It's something
that we owe to ourselves,

to make sure that we're
keeping up with who we are

and what makes
us feel good.

- Overall, being at
that party was really great,

I think in that it makes
us remember

that cancer didn't destroy
that part of our relationship.

- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.

I'm a cancer survivor.

We're two people
who grow and communicate

and love each other.

And I think that no matter
what happens, like,

we're gonna get through it.