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1
00:01:48,902 --> 00:01:51,154
কত তারকা
আকাশে উজ্জ্বলতা?
2
00:01:51,696 --> 00:01:53,948
কখনও তাদের গণনা চেষ্টা?
3
00:01:54,574 --> 00:02:01,956
এটা 6,000 বছর ধরে নিতে হবে
শুধুমাত্র আমাদের ছায়াপথ যারা গণনা
4
00:02:02,665 --> 00:02:04,793
কতগুলি ছায়াপথ বিদ্যমান?
5
00:02:05,043 --> 00:02:08,797
বিজ্ঞানীরা মনে করেন
দুই বিলিয়ন আরো
6
00:02:09,172 --> 00:02:14,469
Isn't it possible that amongst
these billions of celestial bodies
7
00:02:14,844 --> 00:02:18,139
a planet with people
like us exists?
8
00:02:18,640 --> 00:02:22,310
As we explore space
looking for them,
9
00:02:22,685 --> 00:02:26,940
couldn't they be coming here,
looking for us?
10
00:04:27,602 --> 00:04:57,966
Hindi pop $0119
11
00:06:16,627 --> 00:06:20,965
What the thief stole was the
gadget to recall his spaceship
12
00:06:21,215 --> 00:06:24,844
Without this remote
he could not return home
13
00:06:25,136 --> 00:06:29,557
He neither knew our language,
nor had a friend here
14
00:06:29,891 --> 00:06:33,811
Alone, anguished,
his only thought was...
15
00:06:34,187 --> 00:06:35,980
...how will I return home?
16
00:06:58,878 --> 00:07:03,925
On the pathway of Time
Life is but a brief flame
17
00:07:04,967 --> 00:07:09,972
In its luminous mist
We wish, we dream, we exist
18
00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:13,309
But on a beautiful bend
19
00:07:13,726 --> 00:07:16,354
A stranger may we meet
20
00:07:16,646 --> 00:07:19,649
Life after life
21
00:07:19,899 --> 00:07:22,944
Whose memory may persist
22
00:07:41,963 --> 00:07:43,965
Extra ticket.
Anyone extra ticket?
23
00:07:43,965 --> 00:07:46,134
- Yes sir...
- I'll take it!
24
00:07:46,968 --> 00:07:48,886
Sorry, I raised my hand first
25
00:07:48,886 --> 00:07:51,556
But I called out first
26
00:07:51,764 --> 00:07:54,809
I'm a big fan of
Mr Bachchan, the poet
27
00:07:54,809 --> 00:07:57,478
I'm a bigger fan of his son,
the actor
28
00:07:57,854 --> 00:08:00,648
From age ten, I know all his poems.
Fully memorized
29
00:08:00,982 --> 00:08:03,985
From age five, I know his son's
dialogues - without memorizing
30
00:08:03,985 --> 00:08:05,820
Hello, who wants it?
31
00:08:06,112 --> 00:08:08,489
Give me.
Poetry's not his cup of tea
32
00:08:08,906 --> 00:08:09,949
€100
33
00:08:10,533 --> 00:08:13,953
€100 for a €40 ticket?
Black market of poetry!
34
00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:16,164
Queued up
six long hours for this
35
00:08:16,497 --> 00:08:17,790
Time is money
36
00:08:24,755 --> 00:08:29,510
- Go for the dialogues.
- All yours. Ladies first
37
00:08:30,636 --> 00:08:33,264
Just a sec!
Why not split the ticket?
38
00:08:33,639 --> 00:08:40,313
1st half you enjoy the poetry.
2nd half I'll savor the acting
39
00:08:41,731 --> 00:08:43,941
That's a damn good idea!
40
00:08:46,277 --> 00:08:48,112
10, 20, 30, 40
41
00:08:48,112 --> 00:08:48,821
50 more
42
00:08:49,780 --> 00:08:50,781
-96
-96
43
00:08:52,575 --> 00:08:55,953
€96. How about a discount?
We're from the same country
44
00:08:56,162 --> 00:08:58,414
Hail India, bro!
45
00:08:58,414 --> 00:09:01,584
Long live motherland!
€100
46
00:09:03,586 --> 00:09:05,796
Extra ticket.
Anyone extra ticket?
47
00:09:07,089 --> 00:09:08,007
Sir!
48
00:09:08,674 --> 00:09:10,927
Can I borrow €4?
Please!
49
00:09:11,177 --> 00:09:13,971
Keep my watch till I repay
50
00:09:13,971 --> 00:09:15,973
Please, Sir,
it's the last ticket
51
00:09:16,265 --> 00:09:19,519
Show is sold out, child.
No tickets left
52
00:09:19,977 --> 00:09:23,606
There is one left
with that black marketer
53
00:09:24,148 --> 00:09:28,194
Scoundrel!
Giving India a bad name
54
00:09:28,194 --> 00:09:29,028
So true!
55
00:09:29,362 --> 00:09:32,657
Wait here.
I'll get you that ticket
56
00:09:32,657 --> 00:09:33,783
OK, Sir
57
00:09:34,033 --> 00:09:35,076
Thank you
58
00:09:44,502 --> 00:09:45,920
Yes!
59
00:09:57,515 --> 00:09:59,141
- Sir!
- Do I know you?
60
00:09:59,642 --> 00:10:00,851
Where's my ticket?
61
00:10:01,018 --> 00:10:03,938
Ticket?
Yours for € 100
62
00:10:04,146 --> 00:10:05,982
You bloody cheat!
63
00:10:06,315 --> 00:10:08,901
Decaying dacoit!
Senile snake! Capitalist!
64
00:10:08,901 --> 00:10:09,986
Mind your language!
65
00:10:09,986 --> 00:10:12,321
Mind your coat first!
66
00:10:13,656 --> 00:10:16,033
- Now enjoy the show!
- Security!
67
00:10:16,367 --> 00:10:18,661
- Wrinkled wreck!
- Security!
68
00:10:19,328 --> 00:10:21,831
Let's get outta here
69
00:10:22,373 --> 00:10:24,959
I'll get you for this!
70
00:10:25,585 --> 00:10:27,795
Don't chase me...
catch him!
71
00:10:41,851 --> 00:10:44,937
Oldies these days!
It's a spoilt generation!
72
00:10:45,313 --> 00:10:48,065
Forget it
73
00:10:48,399 --> 00:10:49,317
How can I?
74
00:10:49,900 --> 00:10:52,278
That bandit basks in poetry
and here I am
75
00:10:52,278 --> 00:10:53,237
Drop it
76
00:10:54,989 --> 00:10:57,950
Why pine for the party
that shuns us?
77
00:10:58,284 --> 00:11:01,537
Follow the moment
that beckons us
78
00:11:01,996 --> 00:11:04,123
I too dabble in poetry
79
00:11:04,498 --> 00:11:06,208
It's nice. Go on
80
00:11:07,501 --> 00:11:13,215
No. If I go on,
you'll propose to me
81
00:11:14,634 --> 00:11:16,594
- You crazy?
- I mean it!
82
00:11:17,219 --> 00:11:18,971
Your favorite poet,
senior Mr Bachchan
83
00:11:19,263 --> 00:11:21,932
met a lady one morning,
wooed her with verse
84
00:11:22,350 --> 00:11:24,644
By dusk they were married.
So I've read
85
00:11:24,894 --> 00:11:26,062
Really?
86
00:11:26,562 --> 00:11:29,148
And boy!
Look what they produced -
87
00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:31,609
Amitabh Bachchan -
the great actor
88
00:11:33,486 --> 00:11:34,320
Jaggu
89
00:11:34,987 --> 00:11:35,863
Jaggu?
90
00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:37,490
My name
91
00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:40,993
Papa named me Jagat Janani:
world's mother
92
00:11:41,410 --> 00:11:45,373
I got mocked at school
so I shortened it - Jaggu
93
00:11:45,873 --> 00:11:47,458
- From Mumbai?
- No. Delhi
94
00:11:47,792 --> 00:11:49,335
I'm studying TV production
95
00:11:49,585 --> 00:11:50,628
And you?
96
00:11:50,961 --> 00:11:53,756
Sarfaraz. I study architecture
97
00:11:54,382 --> 00:11:56,926
and work part time
at the Pakistan Embassy
98
00:11:57,468 --> 00:11:59,345
Pakistan Embassy? Why?
99
00:11:59,845 --> 00:12:01,931
Well, I'm from Pakistan
100
00:12:02,181 --> 00:12:05,726
Unlikely the Indian Embassy
will employ me!
101
00:12:08,145 --> 00:12:09,522
What's wrong?
102
00:12:10,189 --> 00:12:11,482
Nothing
103
00:12:15,236 --> 00:12:20,241
My being from Pakistan
perturbs you?
104
00:12:22,702 --> 00:12:24,245
Alright then
105
00:12:24,870 --> 00:12:26,747
Goodbye
106
00:12:42,221 --> 00:12:48,310
Ask not my name,
nor my country
107
00:12:49,145 --> 00:12:54,775
From bondage of
borders break free
108
00:12:55,818 --> 00:13:01,282
A few steps
on this brief journey
109
00:13:01,991 --> 00:13:07,204
Come,
just walk with me
110
00:13:17,298 --> 00:13:20,926
Ask not my name,
nor my country
111
00:13:21,469 --> 00:13:24,513
From bondage of
borders break free
112
00:13:25,306 --> 00:13:29,101
A few steps
on this brief journey
113
00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:32,688
Come,
just walk with me
114
00:13:33,522 --> 00:13:36,942
Past the realms of
word and speech
115
00:13:37,526 --> 00:13:40,488
Hand in hand,
nowhere to reach
116
00:13:41,530 --> 00:13:44,950
A few steps
on this brief journey
117
00:13:45,534 --> 00:13:48,162
Come,
just walk with me
118
00:13:48,996 --> 00:13:52,875
Past the realms of
word and speech
119
00:13:53,626 --> 00:13:56,629
Hand in hand,
nowhere to reach
120
00:13:57,755 --> 00:14:01,217
A few steps
on this brief journey
121
00:14:01,717 --> 00:14:05,554
Come,
just walk with me
122
00:14:25,658 --> 00:14:29,286
If the sun scorches
the pathway
123
00:14:29,745 --> 00:14:32,957
A carpet of shade
will I lay
124
00:14:33,624 --> 00:14:37,253
If darkness
fills you with dismay
125
00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:41,131
I'll conjure up
a moon in the sky
126
00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:45,302
If dejection fills up
your day
127
00:14:45,761 --> 00:14:49,098
With laughter
I'll shoo it away
128
00:14:49,765 --> 00:14:53,352
Laughing, frolicking,
humming a song
129
00:14:53,727 --> 00:14:57,064
Together we shall
walk along
130
00:15:15,541 --> 00:15:19,003
With you,
my fellow traveler
131
00:15:19,503 --> 00:15:22,256
Nothing in this world I fear
132
00:15:23,382 --> 00:15:27,261
Why a few steps,
a whole lifelong
133
00:15:27,553 --> 00:15:30,723
With you I'll walk along
134
00:15:31,265 --> 00:15:35,019
Past the realms of
word and speech
135
00:15:35,477 --> 00:15:38,772
Hand in hand,
nowhere to reach
136
00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:43,068
A few steps
on this brief journey
137
00:15:43,485 --> 00:15:47,197
Come,
just walk with me
138
00:16:28,989 --> 00:16:30,950
- Thank you
- Thank you
139
00:16:32,117 --> 00:16:33,243
Mom!!
140
00:16:33,243 --> 00:16:34,161
Papa!
141
00:16:34,161 --> 00:16:35,746
She's fallen in love!
142
00:16:36,205 --> 00:16:38,374
Fallen in love?
143
00:16:38,999 --> 00:16:40,084
He's so cute!
144
00:16:40,668 --> 00:16:41,794
More photos please!
145
00:16:42,127 --> 00:16:44,755
What's his job?
What's his family like?
146
00:16:45,297 --> 00:16:47,132
Calm down Mom.
I'll tell you
147
00:16:47,508 --> 00:16:49,468
First, the name
148
00:16:49,885 --> 00:16:51,303
Sarfaraz
149
00:16:51,804 --> 00:16:53,555
Muslim?
150
00:16:54,264 --> 00:16:57,935
Yes. Studies architecture.
Family is in Pakistan
151
00:16:58,185 --> 00:17:00,521
Pakistan!
Which Pakistan?
152
00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:02,272
There's just
one Pakistan, Mom
153
00:17:02,564 --> 00:17:03,357
You'll wear burkhas?
154
00:17:03,732 --> 00:17:05,693
Read the Quran?
Have you gone mad?
155
00:17:05,901 --> 00:17:08,696
Don't you disconnect.
Stay put
156
00:17:08,988 --> 00:17:10,239
Start the car
157
00:17:10,614 --> 00:17:12,533
All's doomed, Your Holiness.
Help!
158
00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:15,619
I knew exactly
where Papa was headed
159
00:17:15,995 --> 00:17:20,374
Since childhood one face had
surrounded us: His Holiness
160
00:17:20,666 --> 00:17:22,126
Bye Mom
161
00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:25,754
From bags to bathroom walls,
162
00:17:26,005 --> 00:17:28,966
he was omnipresent
163
00:17:30,092 --> 00:17:34,930
Even for a root canal
he would set the auspicious time
164
00:17:36,598 --> 00:17:41,520
He had gifted Papa a God box
with a deity for every task
165
00:17:42,646 --> 00:17:46,483
Goddess of Wealth
for the stock market
166
00:17:47,568 --> 00:17:51,530
God of Health for workouts
167
00:17:52,114 --> 00:17:55,325
Web-based worship and
sacred sweets by courier
168
00:17:55,617 --> 00:17:59,705
were his innovations
169
00:18:03,709 --> 00:18:06,670
Hail, Your Holiness
170
00:18:08,756 --> 00:18:10,049
Hail, Your Holiness
171
00:18:12,176 --> 00:18:14,636
Touch his feet Jaggu
172
00:18:24,188 --> 00:18:27,941
Why this fatal infatuation?
173
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:31,612
Pick up a pen and write
174
00:18:32,029 --> 00:18:33,363
God
175
00:18:34,364 --> 00:18:36,075
Enlighten me
176
00:18:40,913 --> 00:18:42,289
Yes...
177
00:18:43,874 --> 00:18:44,958
Yes...
178
00:18:46,001 --> 00:18:48,420
Your wish is our command
179
00:18:49,046 --> 00:18:50,964
Write down the prophecy
180
00:18:51,381 --> 00:18:53,467
This Pakistani boy,
181
00:18:53,842 --> 00:18:55,302
Sarfaraz,
182
00:18:56,678 --> 00:18:57,930
will betray you
183
00:18:58,180 --> 00:19:00,432
I know he won't
184
00:19:02,017 --> 00:19:08,524
History stands witness:
these people scheme and betray
185
00:19:08,816 --> 00:19:12,319
He will pursue
carnal pleasures
186
00:19:12,486 --> 00:19:15,739
But will never marry you.
He'll vanish
187
00:19:16,031 --> 00:19:20,911
Come home now! One more
night there, and you're dead to us
188
00:19:20,911 --> 00:19:23,789
Mr Sahni,
I'll talk to her
189
00:19:24,248 --> 00:19:27,793
Child, hit the delete button
190
00:19:28,252 --> 00:19:31,213
Banish him
from your system
191
00:19:35,551 --> 00:19:36,927
Hello!
192
00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:40,764
What happened?
193
00:19:42,307 --> 00:19:43,934
Do you love me?
194
00:19:44,643 --> 00:19:46,186
Of course I do. Why?
195
00:19:47,062 --> 00:19:49,940
- Will you marry me?
- What's the matter?
196
00:19:50,149 --> 00:19:51,108
Yes or no, Sarfaraz?
197
00:19:51,483 --> 00:19:53,277
- Yes, but...
- Tomorrow
198
00:19:53,652 --> 00:19:54,570
Tomorrow?
199
00:19:55,237 --> 00:19:57,364
Tomorrow we get married
200
00:19:58,615 --> 00:20:01,994
His prophecy is wrong.
I'll prove it
201
00:20:15,215 --> 00:20:18,177
Mr James Herrick and
Miss Oprah Brown, you're next
202
00:20:18,594 --> 00:20:21,471
- James isn't here, yet.
- Oh, talk to the registrar
203
00:20:22,472 --> 00:20:24,183
Could you just
hold this please?
204
00:20:24,558 --> 00:20:25,767
- Yes of course.
- Thank you
205
00:20:27,144 --> 00:20:28,437
Hello...
206
00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:31,523
This is for you
207
00:20:32,232 --> 00:20:33,734
- For me?
- Yeah
208
00:20:34,109 --> 00:20:35,527
Thank you
209
00:20:40,407 --> 00:20:41,617
It was from Sarfaraz
210
00:20:42,159 --> 00:20:45,204
He said: marriage isn't just
between individuals, but families
211
00:20:45,746 --> 00:20:48,665
Our faiths, countries,
cultures are different
212
00:20:49,082 --> 00:20:51,585
We can never be happy
if our families are unhappy
213
00:20:51,835 --> 00:20:54,046
Don't try to contact me
214
00:20:54,379 --> 00:20:55,839
I'm sorry
215
00:21:16,610 --> 00:21:18,153
Where to go young lady?
216
00:21:18,987 --> 00:21:19,696
New Delhi
217
00:21:23,992 --> 00:21:27,955
I came back to my city, but
my parents refused to see me
218
00:21:28,247 --> 00:21:30,123
I joined a news channel
as a reporter
219
00:21:30,499 --> 00:21:32,668
Today's story:
a depressed dog
220
00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:34,211
That's our breaking news!
221
00:21:34,711 --> 00:21:38,090
Some days we had news,
some days we fabricated it
222
00:21:58,610 --> 00:22:01,863
Missing: God
223
00:22:02,781 --> 00:22:05,450
If found, contact Tipsy
224
00:22:09,204 --> 00:22:11,707
There's a story in this man.
I'll see you at office
225
00:22:11,999 --> 00:22:13,709
Don't be late!
226
00:22:27,139 --> 00:22:28,265
Excuse me?
227
00:22:28,765 --> 00:22:30,267
Why are you
handing these out?
228
00:22:30,976 --> 00:22:32,936
I have a case
pending with Him
229
00:22:33,270 --> 00:22:35,188
He neither solves it,
nor meets me
230
00:22:35,605 --> 00:22:37,816
My life is kaput
231
00:22:38,984 --> 00:22:41,570
He's gone into hiding
232
00:22:42,988 --> 00:22:45,198
Have you seen Him around?
233
00:22:46,241 --> 00:22:47,951
No
234
00:22:50,746 --> 00:22:59,087
Hail Goddess,
Hail Holy Mother
235
00:22:59,338 --> 00:23:03,759
Hail Goddess,
Hail Holy Mother
236
00:23:04,009 --> 00:23:06,219
By the way,
what's with the helmet?
237
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:08,597
Got the idea from taxi-tops
238
00:23:08,972 --> 00:23:11,725
Yellow yells out from miles
239
00:23:12,017 --> 00:23:14,978
Taxis are spotted
easily in traffic
240
00:23:15,562 --> 00:23:18,940
- So?
- So God can spot me easy!
241
00:23:19,316 --> 00:23:23,362
How else will he spot me
in this crowd?
242
00:23:31,703 --> 00:23:34,039
A bit to your left - perfect!
243
00:23:34,331 --> 00:23:35,665
Ok, background?
244
00:23:36,166 --> 00:23:37,542
Cue Jaggu
245
00:23:38,377 --> 00:23:41,129
They say
animals are not suicidal
246
00:23:41,630 --> 00:23:45,717
Here's Nikku.
Mr Sweetie Singh's dog
247
00:23:46,301 --> 00:23:49,971
Nikku has attempted
suicide thrice
248
00:23:49,971 --> 00:23:55,602
Jumping off a roof, licking sleeping
pills, hopping onto a gas burner
249
00:23:55,977 --> 00:23:57,938
What's wrong with Nikku?
250
00:23:58,146 --> 00:24:01,358
Is Nikku prey to a
mental problem?
251
00:24:01,983 --> 00:24:03,318
Is Nikku...
252
00:24:05,570 --> 00:24:07,197
What's wrong Jaggu?
253
00:24:07,739 --> 00:24:09,366
What is this shit, Mitu?
254
00:24:13,745 --> 00:24:17,165
Our chat with famed industrialist
Mr Ratan continues
255
00:24:17,165 --> 00:24:18,917
right after this break
256
00:24:20,293 --> 00:24:22,587
Going well, Ratan?
Some coffee?
257
00:24:22,963 --> 00:24:24,214
Get him some coffee
258
00:24:24,506 --> 00:24:26,550
- Cherry...
- Oh no!
259
00:24:26,758 --> 00:24:30,011
What's your guess? This dog has
depression, anxiety disorder,
260
00:24:30,345 --> 00:24:33,598
schizophrenia, or ADHD?
261
00:24:34,015 --> 00:24:35,767
Whatever,
why would I care?
262
00:24:35,976 --> 00:24:36,935
Exactly
263
00:24:37,227 --> 00:24:41,940
Why would anyone care?
Then why do we air such bull?
264
00:24:42,858 --> 00:24:44,568
What would you rather air?
265
00:24:44,776 --> 00:24:46,945
Hold him please
266
00:24:48,864 --> 00:24:49,865
See this?
267
00:24:50,115 --> 00:24:53,160
I met a guy distributing
these pamphlets
268
00:24:53,660 --> 00:24:56,329
- He is searching for God.
- Found Him?
269
00:24:56,997 --> 00:24:58,540
No... but
270
00:24:58,748 --> 00:25:02,961
Searching for God - that's religion.
Finding God - that's news
271
00:25:02,961 --> 00:25:05,547
If he finds God, get him.
I'll put him on air
272
00:25:05,881 --> 00:25:07,632
You know the Company policy
273
00:25:07,966 --> 00:25:10,302
No news on religion,
no news on God. Finished
274
00:25:10,969 --> 00:25:12,137
Man, you've changed!
275
00:25:12,679 --> 00:25:14,723
Where's the fighter,
Cherry Bajwa?
276
00:25:15,098 --> 00:25:17,559
You wanna see the fighter?
277
00:25:18,143 --> 00:25:19,686
Take a good look
278
00:25:20,187 --> 00:25:22,606
There are three marks here
279
00:25:23,106 --> 00:25:24,608
These aren't birthmarks
280
00:25:24,816 --> 00:25:28,987
I ran a show against His Holiness,
your Dad's Guru
281
00:25:29,362 --> 00:25:32,616
His devotees shoved a trident
right here in my bum
282
00:25:33,033 --> 00:25:35,494
Anchor coming to you
in 10 seconds
283
00:25:35,744 --> 00:25:38,163
That day I swore -
if you want to live in this country
284
00:25:38,538 --> 00:25:40,123
don't mess with religion.
That's it
285
00:25:40,332 --> 00:25:42,209
- I've got a show to run now.
- 5... 4...
286
00:25:42,375 --> 00:25:42,959
3...
287
00:25:42,959 --> 00:25:43,835
2...
288
00:25:44,127 --> 00:25:44,753
1...
289
00:25:45,128 --> 00:25:46,213
Welcome back from the break
290
00:25:46,588 --> 00:25:49,591
We were chatting with
famed industrialist Mr Ratan...
291
00:25:49,883 --> 00:25:52,677
The boss killed my story
292
00:25:52,969 --> 00:25:56,932
But it came back to life
two weeks later
293
00:26:37,180 --> 00:26:39,349
[DONATION BOX]
294
00:26:45,313 --> 00:26:47,148
Stop! Thief!
295
00:26:47,607 --> 00:26:51,528
He's stealing
from the donation box!
296
00:27:09,337 --> 00:27:10,797
Don't let him go!
297
00:27:18,179 --> 00:27:20,807
Lifting from the
donation box, you fool?
298
00:27:20,974 --> 00:27:21,683
Yes
299
00:27:21,683 --> 00:27:23,351
He's no thief!
300
00:27:23,810 --> 00:27:27,022
While donating
my wallet fell in the box
301
00:27:27,188 --> 00:27:29,482
He was getting it out for me
302
00:27:30,150 --> 00:27:31,276
Trust me
303
00:27:31,651 --> 00:27:36,114
Check for yourself.
It has Rs. 5,000 in it
304
00:27:52,672 --> 00:27:54,341
- That's mine!
- It was
305
00:27:54,716 --> 00:27:56,843
Once in the box,
it's donated
306
00:27:57,093 --> 00:28:00,180
Now, it's God's.
Let them go
307
00:28:01,181 --> 00:28:03,892
Dude, what the hell
were you up to?
308
00:28:03,892 --> 00:28:05,143
Claiming my refund
309
00:28:05,393 --> 00:28:07,354
God took His fee
but didn't deliver
310
00:28:07,354 --> 00:28:08,938
Hang on...
311
00:28:09,564 --> 00:28:13,568
I saw you fish out some money,
then put some back in
312
00:28:13,568 --> 00:28:18,323
I took back what I'd paid
at this branch. Returned the rest
313
00:28:19,366 --> 00:28:21,618
You used to wear
beads and amulets?
314
00:28:21,618 --> 00:28:23,703
Rejected. Gone for good
315
00:28:24,079 --> 00:28:26,706
Why the stickers then?
316
00:28:27,165 --> 00:28:29,292
Self-defense!
317
00:28:30,001 --> 00:28:32,962
God pics on walls - prevent peeing
318
00:28:33,296 --> 00:28:36,466
on face - prevent punches
319
00:28:42,472 --> 00:28:43,932
Mitu, where are you?
320
00:28:44,265 --> 00:28:46,685
Pick me up.
I've no money to get home
321
00:28:47,018 --> 00:28:48,269
I'll fill you in later
322
00:28:48,645 --> 00:28:51,981
I'm at Mudrika,
outside the temple
323
00:28:52,565 --> 00:28:54,484
Hurry.
Thanks,bye
324
00:28:56,111 --> 00:28:57,529
Here you go
325
00:28:57,987 --> 00:29:01,032
- For what?
- For the ride home
326
00:29:01,491 --> 00:29:05,954
When someone can't
get home, I feel sad
327
00:29:07,831 --> 00:29:10,917
- Wait.
- That's all I had
328
00:29:11,292 --> 00:29:13,294
I can't accept this
329
00:29:13,837 --> 00:29:17,674
- Why?
- Won't you need it to get home?
330
00:29:22,178 --> 00:29:25,932
Money can't get me home
331
00:29:26,099 --> 00:29:28,977
Why? Where do you live?
332
00:29:36,985 --> 00:29:40,572
In the step-well ruins
333
00:29:41,865 --> 00:29:46,828
But in this rainy season,
I check into a lock-up
334
00:29:47,495 --> 00:29:49,956
Lock-up!
As in police lock-up?
335
00:29:50,290 --> 00:29:53,918
There are 122 in the city.
I yo-yo between them
336
00:29:54,169 --> 00:29:57,464
And they let you check in,
like a hotel?
337
00:29:57,839 --> 00:30:00,258
Come.
I'll give you a demo
338
00:30:03,970 --> 00:30:05,680
[Sign: DO NOT URINATE HERE]
339
00:30:09,684 --> 00:30:11,102
Just watch!
340
00:30:12,145 --> 00:30:14,814
[Sign: DO NOT URINATE HERE]
341
00:30:15,148 --> 00:30:18,067
Hey, copper -
look here proper!
342
00:30:33,416 --> 00:30:35,794
I'll show you proper!
343
00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:47,263
Jaggu!
344
00:30:49,974 --> 00:30:51,935
We have to
follow that van
345
00:30:52,143 --> 00:30:55,063
- Who are we chasing?
- A story
346
00:31:09,410 --> 00:31:12,121
Gimme your wallet.
I need cash
347
00:31:13,289 --> 00:31:15,708
Hurry!
Thanks. Bye
348
00:31:28,054 --> 00:31:29,430
Excuse me?
349
00:31:30,473 --> 00:31:31,307
Yes?
350
00:31:31,558 --> 00:31:34,060
I want to go
inside the lock-up
351
00:31:34,269 --> 00:31:35,478
Why?
352
00:31:36,396 --> 00:31:38,565
To meet that guy
353
00:31:40,191 --> 00:31:42,819
You think this is the
local coffee joint, huh?
354
00:31:42,986 --> 00:31:46,322
Saunter in and chillax
with your buddies?
355
00:31:46,698 --> 00:31:48,074
This is a lock-up, get it?
356
00:31:48,616 --> 00:31:52,328
Only offenders get in
357
00:31:54,163 --> 00:31:56,249
Bribing is an offence!
358
00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:59,919
That's why I'm committing it!
359
00:32:00,128 --> 00:32:01,170
I can lock you in
360
00:32:01,170 --> 00:32:03,256
Please do... ASAP!
361
00:32:10,597 --> 00:32:13,600
- Thank you, Mr Pandey.
- One hour, that's it
362
00:32:13,850 --> 00:32:15,226
Hi
363
00:32:16,477 --> 00:32:20,857
I want your story.
Will you share it?
364
00:32:21,733 --> 00:32:22,483
Why?
365
00:32:22,859 --> 00:32:25,945
I'm a TV reporter.
It's my job
366
00:32:38,708 --> 00:32:43,421
- Go on, ask.
- Awesome!
367
00:32:48,176 --> 00:32:50,470
Your name?
368
00:32:51,346 --> 00:32:53,139
Don't have a name
369
00:32:53,348 --> 00:32:56,017
They call me Tipsy here.
Beats me why
370
00:32:56,017 --> 00:32:58,478
And what do you do?
371
00:33:00,897 --> 00:33:03,107
I'm an astronaut
372
00:33:04,817 --> 00:33:06,277
Astronaut!
373
00:33:06,653 --> 00:33:08,947
Those who shoot off
to the moon?
374
00:33:09,322 --> 00:33:12,533
Been there once.
It's kaput
375
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:15,828
Sure!
376
00:33:16,412 --> 00:33:18,247
So what's your
favorite planet?
377
00:33:18,247 --> 00:33:21,125
- My own.
- I meant besides Earth?
378
00:33:21,459 --> 00:33:23,503
Earth is mega-kaput
379
00:33:23,836 --> 00:33:26,214
I meant my own planet
380
00:33:29,968 --> 00:33:33,930
It'll show up there at night
381
00:33:34,555 --> 00:33:36,808
We went bananas,
382
00:33:37,183 --> 00:33:42,063
when we found another planet
with people like us
383
00:33:42,814 --> 00:33:45,191
I was sent here
on a research mission
384
00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:47,235
Boy, what a welcome I got!
385
00:33:47,610 --> 00:33:49,779
My remote got robbed
386
00:33:50,613 --> 00:33:54,117
Without it,
I can't signal my people
387
00:33:54,117 --> 00:33:57,245
and without a signal
they won't come for me
388
00:33:57,704 --> 00:34:00,289
They'll think
it's a perilous planet
389
00:34:00,540 --> 00:34:03,001
That I'm dead as a dodo
390
00:34:07,630 --> 00:34:08,297
Hello!
391
00:34:08,673 --> 00:34:09,924
- Listen...
- What?
392
00:34:10,258 --> 00:34:11,843
Let me out.
I want to go home
393
00:34:12,135 --> 00:34:16,055
Your Highness, convicts
don't decide that. Cops do
394
00:34:16,347 --> 00:34:17,765
I'm not a thief
395
00:34:17,974 --> 00:34:19,434
So say all the thieves
396
00:34:19,851 --> 00:34:21,978
Where's officer Pandey?
397
00:34:21,978 --> 00:34:23,604
Out on his rounds
398
00:34:24,313 --> 00:34:25,940
Officer Pandey!
399
00:34:27,066 --> 00:34:27,734
Officer Pandey!
400
00:34:27,734 --> 00:34:30,778
Shut up, or you get
a knuckle sandwich
401
00:34:50,506 --> 00:34:53,217
You think
I'm talking baloney?
402
00:34:53,968 --> 00:34:55,511
Obviously!
403
00:34:55,970 --> 00:34:58,097
Is Hindi the official language
of your planet?
404
00:34:58,306 --> 00:35:00,058
On our planet...
405
00:35:00,850 --> 00:35:03,436
...there's no language!
406
00:35:03,853 --> 00:35:06,439
We read minds.
There's no confusion
407
00:35:06,773 --> 00:35:09,776
Here, you utter something
and mean something else
408
00:35:09,776 --> 00:35:11,944
A two-letter word can have
four different meanings
409
00:35:12,528 --> 00:35:17,241
When you nod and say "oh",
it means "Oh, that's cool"
410
00:35:18,618 --> 00:35:21,871
When your eyes pop out,
"oh!" means bad news
411
00:35:22,163 --> 00:35:24,957
"Your mother-in-law
is moving in." "Oh!"
412
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:28,503
When angry, you thunder
413
00:35:28,878 --> 00:35:32,131
"Oh! You'll pay
for that blunder!"
414
00:35:32,632 --> 00:35:35,468
And when your thought is deep,
your "oh" is long!
415
00:35:36,260 --> 00:35:38,679
"Ohhhhhhh! I see!"
416
00:35:39,639 --> 00:35:42,975
As you hear the words,
you gotta watch the expression
417
00:35:42,975 --> 00:35:45,019
to get the real meaning
418
00:35:45,019 --> 00:35:49,190
It's torture!
Took full 6 hours to learn Hindi
419
00:35:49,398 --> 00:35:52,568
A whole language in 6 hours?
420
00:35:52,568 --> 00:35:55,029
No one let me hold hands
421
00:35:55,613 --> 00:35:57,907
Finally, a nice lady
lent her hand
422
00:35:57,907 --> 00:36:01,911
I held it and transferred
her language into my system
423
00:36:01,911 --> 00:36:06,707
Man, there's no limit
to your whoppers!
424
00:36:06,874 --> 00:36:09,168
Is your hand a USB cable,
425
00:36:09,585 --> 00:36:13,172
that transfers files
between computers?
426
00:36:13,631 --> 00:36:17,218
And your clothes? Are faded jeans
the rage on your planet too?
427
00:36:17,510 --> 00:36:18,928
Noooo!
428
00:36:19,303 --> 00:36:20,429
On our planet...
429
00:36:20,763 --> 00:36:24,767
...no one wears clothes.
There we go bare
430
00:36:25,143 --> 00:36:27,937
Here, at first I thought
431
00:36:28,604 --> 00:36:31,941
your skins were
different from ours
432
00:36:32,567 --> 00:36:34,735
Some had sparkly hides,
433
00:36:34,986 --> 00:36:37,655
some jet black
434
00:36:38,823 --> 00:36:41,742
Some hides were colorful,
some white
435
00:36:42,660 --> 00:36:46,664
Some hides sticky-tight,
some baggy
436
00:36:48,749 --> 00:36:51,544
Then one day
I found a car
437
00:36:51,878 --> 00:36:53,004
A dancing car
438
00:36:59,343 --> 00:37:04,849
That day I realized
our skins were the same
439
00:37:05,141 --> 00:37:09,937
but yours are covered
with a thing called fashion
440
00:37:15,276 --> 00:37:17,945
Radio Commercial
441
00:37:18,196 --> 00:37:21,490
Now I could mingle
442
00:37:21,908 --> 00:37:25,494
Yet I was mocked
443
00:37:26,287 --> 00:37:29,665
Look here -
half man, half woman!
444
00:37:30,917 --> 00:37:32,293
Slowly I got it
445
00:37:32,543 --> 00:37:35,546
There's man - fashion
and woman - fashion
446
00:37:36,297 --> 00:37:37,632
There was day fashion...
447
00:37:37,965 --> 00:37:39,550
...and night fashion
448
00:37:39,967 --> 00:37:41,302
Sporting fashion...
449
00:37:41,302 --> 00:37:42,929
...and serving fashion
450
00:37:45,973 --> 00:37:49,936
With the clothes,
I found some photos
451
00:38:02,406 --> 00:38:07,870
It hit me - these photos
meant survival
452
00:38:08,663 --> 00:38:11,332
You could
swap them for food
453
00:38:11,624 --> 00:38:14,919
So I built a portfolio
of this old man's photos
454
00:38:30,685 --> 00:38:32,353
What's this?
455
00:38:36,565 --> 00:38:38,818
What are these for?
456
00:38:41,237 --> 00:38:44,323
Why are you giving me
this junk?
457
00:38:46,993 --> 00:38:49,328
Right! Now we're talking!
458
00:38:49,745 --> 00:38:51,372
Here you go
459
00:38:52,415 --> 00:38:56,544
I got it: this photo had value
on just one kind of paper
460
00:38:56,961 --> 00:39:01,257
On any other paper,
it was worthless
461
00:39:03,592 --> 00:39:06,971
For cash and clothes,
dancing cars were widely available
462
00:39:07,179 --> 00:39:10,266
They were my bank,
they were my tailor!
463
00:39:12,101 --> 00:39:14,437
Once, I got
such magnetic attire
464
00:39:14,770 --> 00:39:17,815
that no photos
were needed
465
00:39:17,815 --> 00:39:19,942
Food was pulled to me
466
00:39:20,151 --> 00:39:21,944
For you, Sir
467
00:39:24,238 --> 00:39:28,159
Now, to find my remote, I had to
learn this planet's language
468
00:39:28,409 --> 00:39:31,495
Without it,
every task was a trial
469
00:39:31,996 --> 00:39:33,622
Like telling this gentleman
470
00:39:33,831 --> 00:39:37,251
there was a defect
in his fashion
471
00:39:44,133 --> 00:39:47,470
I felt I had spoilt his fashion
472
00:39:49,055 --> 00:39:52,058
So I put it back
where it was
473
00:40:13,120 --> 00:40:19,001
[Radio Announcement]
474
00:40:22,963 --> 00:40:24,507
Found him on the road
475
00:40:25,091 --> 00:40:27,134
Some scumbag
hit him and bolted
476
00:40:27,968 --> 00:40:29,929
Seems pretty okay,
477
00:40:31,180 --> 00:40:33,307
but isn't responding
478
00:40:34,100 --> 00:40:36,477
Has his eardrum
called it a day?
479
00:40:36,894 --> 00:40:38,771
Are you deaf?
480
00:40:39,230 --> 00:40:42,650
Can hear alright,
but isn't talking
481
00:40:43,317 --> 00:40:45,528
Seems in a state of shock
482
00:40:45,861 --> 00:40:48,948
Memory loss, I'm afraid
483
00:40:59,583 --> 00:41:02,586
Remember the scumbag
who hit you?
484
00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:07,049
Remember the license plate?
485
00:41:08,300 --> 00:41:11,512
Remember anything at all?
486
00:41:39,915 --> 00:41:43,127
Come my friend.
Come with me
487
00:41:44,336 --> 00:41:48,340
Be my guest till you
get your memory back
488
00:41:50,593 --> 00:41:52,636
Keep slamming your head
489
00:41:52,970 --> 00:41:58,350
One knock took your memory away,
another might bring it back
490
00:41:58,642 --> 00:42:00,311
Seen it in the movies
491
00:42:00,311 --> 00:42:02,813
To figure what he was
yapping about,
492
00:42:02,813 --> 00:42:06,942
I had to hold his hand
and transfer his language
493
00:42:09,320 --> 00:42:10,946
Hey!
494
00:42:12,656 --> 00:42:15,951
With memory loss your gender
sense went for a toss?
495
00:42:16,243 --> 00:42:17,077
Wait a moment...
496
00:42:18,204 --> 00:42:19,705
See this - my license
497
00:42:20,080 --> 00:42:21,582
Sex: MALE
498
00:42:21,957 --> 00:42:22,625
Man...
499
00:42:22,958 --> 00:42:25,753
rogue, rascal, scumbag
500
00:42:27,338 --> 00:42:32,343
To return home
I had to hold someone's hand
501
00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:52,363
Here comes my zany guest
502
00:42:55,574 --> 00:42:59,078
Can't tell guy from gal
Happily hits on all
503
00:43:02,665 --> 00:43:05,709
Here comes my zany guest
504
00:43:06,043 --> 00:43:09,255
Can't tell guy from gal
Happily hits on all
505
00:43:09,630 --> 00:43:13,008
Your frantic antics if not stilled,
will surely get me killed!
506
00:43:13,300 --> 00:43:15,970
Don't be a scourge
Do curb your urge
507
00:43:16,971 --> 00:43:23,769
Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad
508
00:43:25,312 --> 00:43:32,945
Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad
509
00:44:09,898 --> 00:44:13,444
Tourist in tacky gear
are you from near or far
510
00:44:13,694 --> 00:44:16,864
From Mumbai, Madrid
or Madagascar
511
00:44:17,323 --> 00:44:20,451
Tourist in tacky gear
are you from near or far
512
00:44:20,784 --> 00:44:24,038
From Mumbai, Madrid
or Madagascar
513
00:44:24,038 --> 00:44:30,961
What was your name at school
Was it nerdy or was it cool?
514
00:44:31,211 --> 00:44:37,926
What was your name at school
Was it nerdy or was it cool?
515
00:44:38,260 --> 00:44:41,847
What's the zip code
Of your abode
516
00:44:42,056 --> 00:44:45,643
Did you alight from a cloud
Or sprout from underground
517
00:44:45,643 --> 00:44:49,146
Your frantic antics if not stilled,
will surely get me killed!
518
00:44:49,480 --> 00:44:52,107
Don't be a scourge
Do curb your urge
519
00:44:52,983 --> 00:44:59,990
Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad
520
00:45:01,992 --> 00:45:08,248
Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad
521
00:45:10,793 --> 00:45:14,630
This memory loss is a blessing
522
00:45:17,966 --> 00:45:21,053
This memory loss is a blessing
523
00:45:21,220 --> 00:45:24,682
Feuds forgotten
lenders left guessing
524
00:45:24,848 --> 00:45:26,266
Lovable lad
525
00:45:26,642 --> 00:45:28,060
Innocent lad
526
00:45:28,644 --> 00:45:31,647
Don't be a scourge
Do curb your urge
527
00:45:32,189 --> 00:45:38,237
Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad
528
00:45:40,989 --> 00:45:47,663
Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad
529
00:46:17,693 --> 00:46:23,949
Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad
530
00:46:24,408 --> 00:46:26,076
Here comes the lusty lad!
531
00:46:26,285 --> 00:46:27,828
Here comes the lusty lad!
532
00:46:27,828 --> 00:46:31,039
Here comes the lusty lad
My guest with this crazy fad
533
00:46:41,091 --> 00:46:43,177
I feel your pain, bro
534
00:46:43,844 --> 00:46:45,596
But don't go grabbing hands
535
00:46:46,680 --> 00:46:51,477
You may end up in bed,
but most likely a hospital bed
536
00:46:54,855 --> 00:46:58,525
Don't give up,
I know place for you
537
00:47:10,662 --> 00:47:13,916
Hand, foot -
hold whatever
538
00:47:14,124 --> 00:47:15,918
No one will bash you here
539
00:47:16,251 --> 00:47:17,252
Come
540
00:47:17,628 --> 00:47:22,216
What a neighbourhood!
Virtuous, welcoming women
541
00:47:22,800 --> 00:47:26,011
All reaching for my hand,
inviting me home
542
00:47:26,512 --> 00:47:30,808
Here I met a serene and
gentle woman, Pepper
543
00:47:30,974 --> 00:47:34,603
Pepper, take him
to the honeymoon suite
544
00:48:23,819 --> 00:48:25,863
Pepper sat patiently all night
545
00:48:26,071 --> 00:48:31,118
For full 6 hours,
I transferred her language files
546
00:48:31,743 --> 00:48:36,999
ABC - X YZ,
I drew in everything
547
00:48:47,634 --> 00:48:52,639
First time?... Kaput before you kicked off?
548
00:48:57,853 --> 00:48:59,813
Y...y... yes!
549
00:49:01,189 --> 00:49:03,650
Where are you from?
550
00:49:06,653 --> 00:49:09,072
Far, far away
551
00:49:09,990 --> 00:49:12,993
From an unheard of village
552
00:49:13,285 --> 00:49:15,829
But you speak my lingo!
553
00:49:16,246 --> 00:49:20,959
Because I learnt it from you,
Sister
554
00:49:21,126 --> 00:49:24,963
Sister! You think
this is a convent? Out!
555
00:49:27,174 --> 00:49:27,925
Bro!
556
00:49:29,301 --> 00:49:31,178
Bro, wake up!
557
00:49:31,970 --> 00:49:33,430
Bro, wake up!
558
00:49:34,222 --> 00:49:34,973
Bro!
559
00:49:36,475 --> 00:49:37,976
You're talking!
560
00:49:37,976 --> 00:49:40,729
Bro, I need your help
561
00:49:40,979 --> 00:49:42,981
Pepper cleared up your throat!
562
00:49:43,231 --> 00:49:44,983
Bro, come with me quick
563
00:49:44,983 --> 00:49:47,819
Memory and making out
have a direct connection!
564
00:49:48,654 --> 00:49:52,950
Update the docs:
get laid, get well!
565
00:49:53,116 --> 00:49:55,494
It's urgent, bro!
566
00:49:55,827 --> 00:49:56,828
Okay, let's go
567
00:50:03,961 --> 00:50:05,295
Stop... stop!
568
00:50:05,587 --> 00:50:07,422
Stop, bro!
569
00:50:10,968 --> 00:50:14,763
The jerk robbed me
right here
570
00:50:15,263 --> 00:50:17,933
I need my chain, bro.
I must get it back
571
00:50:18,225 --> 00:50:20,060
- Precious?
- It's priceless!
572
00:50:20,769 --> 00:50:23,355
The thief must be a local
573
00:50:23,855 --> 00:50:26,525
But he'll sell
the loot in Delhi
574
00:50:26,733 --> 00:50:30,237
If he sold pricey stuff here,
he'd get caught
575
00:50:31,321 --> 00:50:33,115
Then I must go
576
00:50:33,490 --> 00:50:35,075
Where?
577
00:50:35,909 --> 00:50:36,952
Delhi
578
00:51:00,976 --> 00:51:02,561
- Officer!
- Yeah?
579
00:51:03,103 --> 00:51:06,148
- My remote control is stolen.
- Are you tipsy?
580
00:51:06,523 --> 00:51:09,359
Expect the police force
to track your TV remote?
581
00:51:09,985 --> 00:51:12,779
- It's not a TV remote!
- Then?
582
00:51:13,822 --> 00:51:17,159
Can't tell you.
But it's like a chain
583
00:51:17,159 --> 00:51:18,618
Really precious
584
00:51:18,994 --> 00:51:21,538
- Where was it stolen?
- In Mandawa
585
00:51:22,581 --> 00:51:26,460
And you're searching
in Delhi, you idiot?
586
00:51:26,960 --> 00:51:28,795
The thief came to Delhi
587
00:51:28,962 --> 00:51:30,964
- So?
- So where's the thief?
588
00:51:30,964 --> 00:51:33,925
Blockhead!
It's a city of 15 million
589
00:51:34,092 --> 00:51:39,014
Police are human,
not God
590
00:51:40,599 --> 00:51:44,102
Only God can help you
591
00:51:45,228 --> 00:51:50,692
Surrender to God,
you'll succeed
592
00:51:51,026 --> 00:51:55,363
Only God knows
593
00:51:55,655 --> 00:51:59,284
Ask God, not me!
594
00:52:00,285 --> 00:52:03,747
Trust in God, my child
595
00:52:04,081 --> 00:52:09,503
Who was this God chap?
All said only He could help
596
00:52:10,087 --> 00:52:13,048
What I saw blew my mind
597
00:52:13,465 --> 00:52:17,177
Earthlings had figured out
who had manufactured them!
598
00:52:17,719 --> 00:52:21,932
Their creator lived with them.
He had millions of houses
599
00:52:22,265 --> 00:52:28,647
Earthlings took their problems to Him,
which He solved for a small fee
600
00:52:29,106 --> 00:52:32,734
My planet had no such facility
601
00:52:33,068 --> 00:52:37,948
I could not believe it!
So decided to test it
602
00:52:39,991 --> 00:52:42,035
One take-away God
603
00:52:42,035 --> 00:52:45,455
Which one?
Rs. 20, 50, 100, 500?
604
00:52:45,997 --> 00:52:49,251
Any difference?
In the Rs.. 20 and Rs.. 500 ones?
605
00:52:49,584 --> 00:52:51,753
Just the size.
Otherwise ditto
606
00:52:51,753 --> 00:52:55,173
Rs.. 20 God is
equally efficient?
607
00:52:56,258 --> 00:52:59,928
OK, gimme Rs 15!
Nothing less
608
00:53:12,858 --> 00:53:17,070
God, I am famished.
Get me some food please
609
00:53:29,040 --> 00:53:30,667
I went bananas
610
00:53:31,126 --> 00:53:35,172
God actually worked!
Now I could go home
611
00:53:35,172 --> 00:53:38,133
God, my remote is stolen
612
00:53:38,508 --> 00:53:41,636
Please find it.
I want to go home
613
00:53:54,983 --> 00:53:59,154
God's battery died.
Worked once, then kaput
614
00:53:59,154 --> 00:54:00,906
What do you mean?
615
00:54:00,906 --> 00:54:03,283
Stick a new battery in.
Where does it go?
616
00:54:03,283 --> 00:54:06,369
- It needs no battery.
- Then why is it off?
617
00:54:06,828 --> 00:54:10,373
- Manufacturing defect?
- I make no defective stuff
618
00:54:11,458 --> 00:54:16,129
- You made this God?
- Of course! With my own hands
619
00:54:16,838 --> 00:54:19,758
You made God,
or God made you?
620
00:54:19,966 --> 00:54:24,930
He made us all-
I only make His statues
621
00:54:25,138 --> 00:54:27,349
Why the statues?
622
00:54:27,515 --> 00:54:31,269
To worship Him.
To voice our problems
623
00:54:31,686 --> 00:54:35,941
ls there a transmitter inside?
How can He hear us?
624
00:54:36,983 --> 00:54:41,780
God needs no transmitter.
He hears directly
625
00:54:41,780 --> 00:54:44,741
Directly?
Then why the statue?
626
00:54:44,991 --> 00:54:47,535
What's with him?
627
00:54:48,495 --> 00:54:52,165
Want to bust my business?
What's your problem?
628
00:54:52,958 --> 00:54:54,918
My remote is stolen, Sir
629
00:54:55,126 --> 00:54:58,463
I'm requesting God.
But He doesn't reply
630
00:54:58,964 --> 00:55:01,007
. Are you tipsy?
- Meaning?
631
00:55:01,007 --> 00:55:04,261
You're overloading
this pint-sized God
632
00:55:04,261 --> 00:55:07,055
His itty-bitty feet
can't chase the thief
633
00:55:07,055 --> 00:55:10,100
Bother the big God
inside the temple
634
00:55:10,642 --> 00:55:13,019
He'll run fast
635
00:55:13,019 --> 00:55:16,856
Offer Him coconut and money -
He'll deliver
636
00:55:16,856 --> 00:55:18,692
That'll be Rs.. 200
637
00:55:24,155 --> 00:55:28,368
Earthlings waited with fees
to get their work done
638
00:55:28,868 --> 00:55:31,538
Full 2 hours later
I got the appointment
639
00:55:31,830 --> 00:55:33,123
God,
640
00:55:34,833 --> 00:55:38,128
please get my remote back
641
00:55:40,171 --> 00:55:42,215
- Where is it?
- Move!
642
00:55:42,549 --> 00:55:44,342
Wait,
He didn't deliver my stuff
643
00:55:44,759 --> 00:55:49,097
He didn't deliver!
See, I paid His fee
644
00:55:49,097 --> 00:55:51,057
- Your work will be done.
- But when?
645
00:55:51,224 --> 00:55:53,685
Can't say when,
but it will be done
646
00:55:53,893 --> 00:55:56,730
- Move on.
- But when will I get it?
647
00:55:56,730 --> 00:55:58,315
Don't block the line, scram!
648
00:55:58,481 --> 00:56:01,234
If I scram,
someone else may get it
649
00:56:01,234 --> 00:56:02,110
Are you tipsy?
650
00:56:02,110 --> 00:56:06,072
Lady, please!
Where will I get my stuff?
651
00:56:06,072 --> 00:56:08,074
At the mental hospital!
652
00:56:08,074 --> 00:56:11,995
What? Cash here,
delivery at mental hospital!
653
00:56:11,995 --> 00:56:14,247
- Throw him out!
- OK, give me a receipt
654
00:56:14,414 --> 00:56:15,081
Cut!
655
00:56:15,248 --> 00:56:18,710
Without a receipt
how do I claim my delivery?
656
00:56:18,710 --> 00:56:21,129
Get out!
657
00:56:21,129 --> 00:56:22,297
But my remote?
658
00:56:22,547 --> 00:56:23,715
Leave!
659
00:56:31,639 --> 00:56:34,309
I can't find my shoes
660
00:56:34,893 --> 00:56:37,979
Someone's taken them.
Now you take your pick
661
00:56:38,396 --> 00:56:41,232
Rotation is routine
at temples
662
00:56:54,746 --> 00:56:59,084
He took the payment,
didn't deliver
663
00:57:03,088 --> 00:57:04,547
What's his name?
664
00:57:04,547 --> 00:57:06,674
- They call Him God
- Real name?
665
00:57:07,008 --> 00:57:08,551
No idea
666
00:57:10,136 --> 00:57:11,346
Where does he live?
667
00:57:12,055 --> 00:57:14,015
In that temple
668
00:57:14,349 --> 00:57:18,186
- You handed him the cash?
- No. Put it in His box
669
00:57:18,186 --> 00:57:20,980
- Said he'd do the job?
- He says nothing
670
00:57:20,980 --> 00:57:22,524
ls he mute?
671
00:57:22,774 --> 00:57:24,359
Perhaps... maybe
672
00:57:24,984 --> 00:57:26,569
Oh...
673
00:57:28,154 --> 00:57:30,198
Describe him
674
00:57:32,992 --> 00:57:34,953
Ditto
675
00:57:36,871 --> 00:57:39,207
But a bigger chap
676
00:57:40,208 --> 00:57:41,543
Come near...
677
00:57:43,461 --> 00:57:44,838
Are you tipsy?
678
00:57:45,630 --> 00:57:48,341
Yes.
How do you all know?
679
00:57:48,508 --> 00:57:52,011
Think I'm a jackass?
20 years a cop!
680
00:57:52,220 --> 00:57:55,181
Who's tipsy who's not
I can tell in a snap
681
00:57:56,266 --> 00:57:59,185
Frisk him
682
00:58:00,895 --> 00:58:03,273
Let me have a look
683
00:58:04,774 --> 00:58:06,443
Dr D'Mello...
684
00:58:07,152 --> 00:58:11,990
Doc, why get so buzzed
you forget your faith?
685
00:58:12,282 --> 00:58:16,077
Mistook temple for a church!
Wanna rouse a riot?
686
00:58:16,828 --> 00:58:21,082
Go to church.
To your own God
687
00:58:23,168 --> 00:58:24,919
Church?
688
00:59:13,468 --> 00:59:14,969
Get out of here
689
00:59:14,969 --> 00:59:17,931
My stuff!
My remote!
690
00:59:18,348 --> 00:59:21,476
God was crucified for your sins.
Ungrateful man!
691
00:59:21,976 --> 00:59:25,939
Crucified! When?
692
00:59:26,314 --> 00:59:29,692
2,000 years ago.
For your sins!
693
00:59:30,235 --> 00:59:33,321
What did I do?
I just got here
694
00:59:35,031 --> 00:59:37,200
- Are you tipsy?
- Yes!
695
00:59:37,200 --> 00:59:39,953
God is watching you.
Behave
696
00:59:40,703 --> 00:59:42,163
Where?
697
00:59:42,539 --> 00:59:43,873
Where is God?
698
00:59:44,249 --> 00:59:45,959
What's in the mug?
699
00:59:45,959 --> 00:59:47,252
Wine
700
00:59:47,627 --> 00:59:51,464
Wine!
Now I got it!
701
00:59:52,340 --> 00:59:54,926
God was bored of
coconut water
702
00:59:55,218 --> 00:59:59,013
Now He preferred wine.
But wine was expensive
703
00:59:59,347 --> 01:00:01,349
So I had to muster money
704
01:00:03,017 --> 01:00:07,647
I got some from the dancing car,
some from a gentleman
705
01:00:07,981 --> 01:00:10,608
who held out a bowl
of dole everyday
706
01:00:11,025 --> 01:00:14,153
You could withdraw
as per need
707
01:00:25,748 --> 01:00:31,004
[Radio Announcement]
708
01:00:34,465 --> 01:00:36,509
Sir, any God house
around here?
709
01:00:36,718 --> 01:00:38,636
Right there
710
01:00:38,845 --> 01:00:47,854
Preacher, let me drink
in God's abode
711
01:00:51,399 --> 01:00:58,072
Or show me a place
where there is no God
712
01:00:59,032 --> 01:01:01,701
Stop!
What's that?
713
01:01:01,993 --> 01:01:03,953
Wine, for God
714
01:01:04,329 --> 01:01:06,164
Where is He?
715
01:01:46,371 --> 01:01:48,623
This lady looked very sad
716
01:01:48,956 --> 01:01:51,751
To know why,
I grabbed her hand
717
01:01:52,043 --> 01:01:54,504
Hitting on a widow,
you lech!
718
01:01:54,837 --> 01:01:56,923
Widow?
How do you know?
719
01:01:57,131 --> 01:01:59,092
Don't you see
she's clad in white?
720
01:02:11,062 --> 01:02:12,146
Is everything fine?
721
01:02:12,146 --> 01:02:14,065
Everything is fine.
722
01:02:15,274 --> 01:02:17,151
Just relax. Smile.
723
01:02:18,653 --> 01:02:21,322
So sorry
your husband's dead
724
01:02:21,322 --> 01:02:22,740
- What?
- When?
725
01:02:22,990 --> 01:02:26,035
How do I know?
You are clad in white
726
01:02:26,035 --> 01:02:28,037
Brides wear white!
727
01:02:28,037 --> 01:02:30,790
No, widows wear white
728
01:02:30,957 --> 01:02:32,583
Widows wear black,
stupid!
729
01:02:32,583 --> 01:02:35,712
Now don't
stress her out. Go!
730
01:02:45,763 --> 01:02:48,099
All three lost your husbands?
731
01:02:48,558 --> 01:02:50,768
I'm alive you moron!
Want a whack?
732
01:02:52,395 --> 01:02:54,647
After many whacks,
I learnt
733
01:02:54,647 --> 01:02:58,067
there wasn't one God.
There were many Gods
734
01:02:58,234 --> 01:03:00,653
Each with His own
set of rules
735
01:03:01,028 --> 01:03:03,322
Each God had floated
His own Company
736
01:03:03,990 --> 01:03:05,950
They called it religion
737
01:03:06,367 --> 01:03:09,454
Each Company had
its own agents
738
01:03:09,787 --> 01:03:14,751
All Earthlings belonged to
some religion
739
01:03:15,084 --> 01:03:19,714
and followed the God
of that religion alone
740
01:03:20,298 --> 01:03:23,926
What was my religion,
who was my God?
741
01:03:24,594 --> 01:03:27,346
To find the remote
I had to know my God
742
01:03:43,154 --> 01:03:45,031
What are you doing?
743
01:03:45,364 --> 01:03:46,949
Where is the label?
744
01:03:47,200 --> 01:03:48,951
What label?
745
01:03:49,577 --> 01:03:51,120
The Religion label
746
01:03:52,079 --> 01:03:54,707
How do you know which
Company he belongs to?
747
01:03:55,249 --> 01:03:57,835
Where does God
label them?
748
01:03:58,503 --> 01:03:59,420
Security!
749
01:04:06,969 --> 01:04:09,555
Finding my religion
was tough
750
01:04:10,097 --> 01:04:14,936
So I decided to
worship all Gods
751
01:04:15,228 --> 01:04:18,940
One of them would be
my God, who'd help me
752
01:04:19,190 --> 01:04:25,530
It's You who governs
The world I hear
753
01:04:25,988 --> 01:04:31,786
Do listen to my plea
My home beckons me
754
01:04:32,161 --> 01:04:37,291
God where are You
755
01:04:38,960 --> 01:04:44,799
Tell me where are You
756
01:04:45,967 --> 01:04:52,682
You guide back to sanity
Those who've lost their way
757
01:04:52,682 --> 01:04:58,729
I too am completely lost
Guide me too, I pray
758
01:04:59,146 --> 01:05:04,193
God where are You
759
01:05:05,862 --> 01:05:11,659
Tell me where are You
760
01:05:39,353 --> 01:05:42,273
Shall I worship You
in temples
761
01:05:42,815 --> 01:05:45,735
In mosques
do my faith I show
762
01:05:46,068 --> 01:05:52,033
Or to a gurudwara
would You like me to go
763
01:05:52,867 --> 01:05:59,290
Temples and churches,
I looked everywhere
764
01:05:59,624 --> 01:06:05,630
My hope now,
has turned to despair
765
01:06:06,339 --> 01:06:11,552
My hope now,
has turned to despair
766
01:06:13,137 --> 01:06:19,143
My hope now,
has turned to despair
767
01:06:23,356 --> 01:06:29,153
Not a single ritual
Did I ever flout
768
01:06:30,321 --> 01:06:36,118
Like millions around
I submit without a doubt
769
01:06:36,661 --> 01:06:41,540
God where are You
770
01:06:43,209 --> 01:06:48,297
Tell me where are You
771
01:07:16,867 --> 01:07:23,165
You have many names
And many faces too
772
01:07:23,624 --> 01:07:29,672
I've walked each of the myriad
paths which lead to You
773
01:07:30,297 --> 01:07:36,470
In no shrine did I find You
774
01:07:36,971 --> 01:07:42,101
What else should I do
To find you give a clue
775
01:07:43,769 --> 01:07:49,025
What else should I do
To find you give a clue
776
01:07:50,651 --> 01:07:55,948
What else should I do
To find you give a clue
777
01:08:01,078 --> 01:08:06,792
I blindly follow and
With reverence treasure
778
01:08:07,793 --> 01:08:13,549
Your every whim and fancy
In more than ample measure
779
01:08:14,133 --> 01:08:18,637
God where are you
780
01:08:20,765 --> 01:08:25,144
Tell me where are you
781
01:08:27,563 --> 01:08:32,651
God where are you
782
01:08:34,236 --> 01:08:40,451
Tell me where are you
783
01:08:49,668 --> 01:08:52,671
God - I'm all confused
784
01:08:54,507 --> 01:08:59,178
What's my fault?
Why can't my voice reach you?
785
01:09:00,846 --> 01:09:03,349
Understand my plight
786
01:09:03,891 --> 01:09:05,935
Give me some guidance
787
01:09:06,519 --> 01:09:08,479
Please
788
01:09:10,856 --> 01:09:13,234
Shall I talk to you
with hands clasped,
789
01:09:13,651 --> 01:09:18,614
or on bent knees,
head to the ground?
790
01:09:20,991 --> 01:09:23,119
Do I wake you
with temple bells?
791
01:09:23,577 --> 01:09:25,496
Or call out on a loudspeaker?
792
01:09:26,622 --> 01:09:31,919
The Geeta, the Quran,
the Bible - what do I read?
793
01:09:32,503 --> 01:09:36,465
Your different managers
say different things
794
01:09:37,049 --> 01:09:41,637
Some insist fast on Monday,
others urge on Tuesday
795
01:09:42,054 --> 01:09:46,934
Some forbid food after sunset,
some after sunrise
796
01:09:47,768 --> 01:09:51,647
Some say, worship the cow.
Others say slaughter her
797
01:09:52,314 --> 01:09:57,778
Some send me barefoot to the temple,
some wearing shoes to the church
798
01:09:58,195 --> 01:10:00,948
What is right,
what is wrong
799
01:10:01,323 --> 01:10:03,701
I am clueless
800
01:10:05,327 --> 01:10:07,955
I'm at breaking point
801
01:10:10,291 --> 01:10:12,459
I want to go home
802
01:10:12,960 --> 01:10:17,131
I'll do whatever you ask.
Just get me home
803
01:10:17,631 --> 01:10:19,425
Please
804
01:10:21,051 --> 01:10:22,928
Say something
805
01:10:23,971 --> 01:10:25,931
At least one of you...
806
01:10:26,765 --> 01:10:28,934
...give me some answer
807
01:10:29,351 --> 01:10:30,728
Please
808
01:10:32,813 --> 01:10:34,190
Please
809
01:10:35,900 --> 01:10:37,610
Please
810
01:10:48,704 --> 01:10:51,540
Missing: God
811
01:10:58,297 --> 01:10:59,924
Missing: God
812
01:11:09,183 --> 01:11:10,100
Missing: God
813
01:11:45,552 --> 01:11:47,054
Why the lock man?
814
01:11:47,221 --> 01:11:49,223
I gotcha today
815
01:11:49,974 --> 01:11:51,225
on It's my entry! Ty!
816
01:11:51,225 --> 01:11:53,269
Lord Shiva, slayer of sins
817
01:11:53,811 --> 01:11:55,062
who fears none
818
01:11:55,562 --> 01:11:58,023
Security!
Who are you?
819
01:11:58,023 --> 01:12:00,192
Don't you recognize me?
820
01:12:00,818 --> 01:12:02,945
I'm Tipsy!
821
01:12:04,321 --> 01:12:06,699
Where the hell is security?
822
01:12:06,991 --> 01:12:10,452
Do I perform
for boozards in the toilet?
823
01:12:12,121 --> 01:12:14,206
Unlock that door now!
824
01:12:14,456 --> 01:12:16,166
My remote first!
825
01:12:16,166 --> 01:12:19,420
- What remote?
- Of my spaceship
826
01:12:19,837 --> 01:12:20,921
space... ship?
827
01:12:21,171 --> 01:12:24,508
Memory loss?
For the zillionth time,
828
01:12:24,967 --> 01:12:27,803
I'm not from here.
I'm from a far off planet
829
01:12:27,970 --> 01:12:29,013
Scooch!
830
01:12:29,346 --> 01:12:33,183
Gimme my remote,
and I go home. Got it?
831
01:12:33,767 --> 01:12:37,021
Brother let me go.
I've little kids at home
832
01:12:37,021 --> 01:12:39,565
I know!
You fathered two Gods
833
01:12:39,565 --> 01:12:42,359
Both are centuries old.
They can be home alone
834
01:12:42,359 --> 01:12:44,987
First my remote,
then your family reunion
835
01:12:45,988 --> 01:12:47,489
Oh God, save me please...
836
01:12:47,656 --> 01:12:49,325
There's a God
above you too?
837
01:12:49,325 --> 01:12:50,617
Lord Shiva, help
838
01:12:50,826 --> 01:12:52,494
Where?
839
01:12:54,621 --> 01:12:58,125
Now presenting the dance of Shiva,
the fearless
840
01:12:58,125 --> 01:12:59,209
Help!
841
01:12:59,877 --> 01:13:00,836
Help!
842
01:13:02,963 --> 01:13:04,131
Help!
843
01:13:10,971 --> 01:13:13,474
Help!
844
01:13:14,641 --> 01:13:15,601
Help!
845
01:13:32,618 --> 01:13:35,954
Hail Lord Shiva
846
01:13:54,765 --> 01:13:58,519
Hail Lord Shiva
847
01:13:59,144 --> 01:14:04,775
I was meditating on the
snowy peaks of the Himalayas
848
01:14:05,150 --> 01:14:08,320
when, suddenly - light!
849
01:14:08,737 --> 01:14:10,948
Dazzling light!
850
01:14:11,740 --> 01:14:16,954
It came from a bead
lying in the snow
851
01:14:17,871 --> 01:14:22,334
I shut my eyes
and invoked God
852
01:14:22,334 --> 01:14:25,546
Next moment,
I was connected
853
01:14:25,546 --> 01:14:28,298
I said,
"God, enlighten me,"
854
01:14:28,632 --> 01:14:30,968
What is this
miraculous object,
855
01:14:30,968 --> 01:14:34,096
that is warm
even in this biting cold?
856
01:14:34,763 --> 01:14:35,973
God said,
857
01:14:35,973 --> 01:14:40,978
it's a divine bead
from Lord Shiva's necklace
858
01:14:40,978 --> 01:14:46,859
Take it and enshrine it
in a grand temple
859
01:14:47,025 --> 01:14:53,574
Sighting this bead
will heal all suffering
860
01:14:53,574 --> 01:14:56,326
Hail Lord Shiva
861
01:14:57,119 --> 01:14:59,580
Are you ready
for the sighting?
862
01:14:59,997 --> 01:15:02,833
The divine bead from
Lord Shiva's necklace!
863
01:15:06,628 --> 01:15:11,049
Hail Lord Shiva
864
01:15:11,758 --> 01:15:15,846
Hail Lord Shiva
865
01:15:24,771 --> 01:15:27,232
Hail Lord Shiva
866
01:15:27,649 --> 01:15:29,443
Hail Lord Shiva
867
01:15:29,735 --> 01:15:30,694
Stop.
868
01:15:30,694 --> 01:15:34,990
Let him through.
He's awed by the sight
869
01:15:34,990 --> 01:15:37,075
Come.
- Hail Lord Shiva
870
01:15:37,075 --> 01:15:40,204
Not there child.
Come here
871
01:15:40,579 --> 01:15:42,289
Express your ecstasy
872
01:15:42,539 --> 01:15:44,791
Hail Lord Shiva
873
01:15:45,042 --> 01:15:48,545
Hail Lord Shiva
874
01:15:48,962 --> 01:15:51,381
God, where are you?
Please step out,
875
01:15:51,381 --> 01:15:53,634
I want to thank you
876
01:15:54,968 --> 01:15:56,428
He's right here
877
01:15:56,887 --> 01:15:58,680
I met Him in the toilet
878
01:15:58,680 --> 01:16:01,266
I asked for my property
and He bolted
879
01:16:01,642 --> 01:16:03,435
I thought He vamoosed
880
01:16:03,810 --> 01:16:07,314
But no!
He led me to my property
881
01:16:07,648 --> 01:16:10,025
Hail Lord Shiva
882
01:16:10,984 --> 01:16:13,028
This isn't Lord Shiva's bead
883
01:16:13,278 --> 01:16:16,281
It's my property,
misdelivered to you
884
01:16:16,281 --> 01:16:18,242
Your bead must be
misdelivered too
885
01:16:18,575 --> 01:16:23,288
Ask God, He is right here.
God, do step forward, clarify
886
01:16:25,332 --> 01:16:28,210
Anyway,
I'll take my property
887
01:16:30,254 --> 01:16:33,173
That's mine!
Why're you stopping me?
888
01:16:35,217 --> 01:16:39,054
Hail Lord Shiva
889
01:17:38,989 --> 01:17:44,578
Since when have you felt
you're from another planet?
890
01:17:46,913 --> 01:17:52,919
Listen. You need to see
a psychiatrist
891
01:17:53,962 --> 01:17:58,050
Time up! Rs.. 500 can buy
only this much jail time
892
01:18:04,973 --> 01:18:06,933
Here's my card
893
01:18:07,726 --> 01:18:11,772
My number's on it. I'll get you
an appointment if you wish
894
01:18:12,189 --> 01:18:14,691
Feel free to call. Okay?
895
01:18:15,984 --> 01:18:17,819
Take care
896
01:18:19,821 --> 01:18:21,948
Thank you officer Pandey
897
01:18:23,575 --> 01:18:26,578
You don't believe my story?
898
01:18:28,789 --> 01:18:32,918
Then go back to
the suicidal dog, Nikku
899
01:18:33,502 --> 01:18:35,921
That's the story for you
900
01:18:42,719 --> 01:18:46,306
I need to go back in
for 2 minutes
901
01:18:47,099 --> 01:18:50,268
Quit these entry - exits
902
01:18:50,811 --> 01:18:55,482
Another Rs.. 500,
he's all yours
903
01:18:55,774 --> 01:18:59,319
When did I mention Nikku,
the suicidal dog?
904
01:18:59,903 --> 01:19:01,446
You didn't
905
01:19:01,863 --> 01:19:03,657
So how do you know?
906
01:19:04,032 --> 01:19:08,870
When you held my hands,
I read your thoughts
907
01:19:09,913 --> 01:19:11,540
You thought:
this story is dead
908
01:19:11,790 --> 01:19:13,208
I got to live with the
Nikku story
909
01:19:13,542 --> 01:19:16,420
Don't lie!
I must have mentioned it
910
01:19:16,628 --> 01:19:19,923
I cannot lie.
Lies need language
911
01:19:20,132 --> 01:19:23,719
On our planet
we hold hands, read minds
912
01:19:24,761 --> 01:19:25,971
- Gimme your hand.
- No way
913
01:19:26,221 --> 01:19:28,432
- Try it...
- Help me, son
914
01:19:28,765 --> 01:19:33,937
My wife's ill. Hospital wants
a deposit of Rs.. 10,000
915
01:19:34,187 --> 01:19:38,358
I'm Rs.. 500 short.
If you can help...
916
01:19:38,567 --> 01:19:40,110
I'll give you
917
01:19:40,986 --> 01:19:42,028
Here
918
01:19:42,195 --> 01:19:44,990
Give your address.
I'll courier a check
919
01:19:44,990 --> 01:19:48,118
Courier can't reach my home.
Please keep it
920
01:19:48,368 --> 01:19:49,995
Thank you
921
01:19:50,996 --> 01:19:51,997
Sir...
922
01:19:52,706 --> 01:19:55,709
Here's another Rs.. 100.
For the tip
923
01:19:57,961 --> 01:19:59,921
Bless you
924
01:20:01,089 --> 01:20:04,926
Confirmed.
You are no mind reader
925
01:20:05,302 --> 01:20:10,348
You got conned.
There is no hospital around here
926
01:20:10,640 --> 01:20:11,933
I know!
927
01:20:12,100 --> 01:20:15,020
He's gifting his wife
a five star dinner
928
01:20:15,020 --> 01:20:17,230
It's her 75th birthday
929
01:20:17,230 --> 01:20:19,983
She'd never been
to a fancy place
930
01:20:20,233 --> 01:20:23,028
He's been saving from
his pension for months
931
01:20:23,195 --> 01:20:26,573
She ordered ice-cream
and his budget went kaput
932
01:20:26,782 --> 01:20:29,743
With a restroom excuse,
he ran out for some bucks
933
01:20:29,743 --> 01:20:31,119
Another yarn!
934
01:20:32,245 --> 01:20:35,415
On our planet, we don't lie
935
01:20:36,374 --> 01:20:38,084
Anyway, it's up to you
936
01:21:38,728 --> 01:21:40,272
- Here.
- Thank you Sir
937
01:21:40,272 --> 01:21:42,941
One moment. Tip him
938
01:21:43,149 --> 01:21:47,612
Why hold back -
it's your birthday!
939
01:21:47,904 --> 01:21:48,947
Thank you
940
01:22:17,976 --> 01:22:19,978
Address: Step-well ruins
941
01:22:44,336 --> 01:22:47,672
I told you.
On my planet, we don't lie
942
01:22:49,758 --> 01:22:51,927
Hope you haven't told anyone...
943
01:22:58,975 --> 01:23:01,019
...that you're an alien?
944
01:23:01,311 --> 01:23:02,479
No way!
945
01:23:02,729 --> 01:23:07,359
They'd lock me in a lab,
and rip me up for research!
946
01:23:09,319 --> 01:23:12,072
How come you told me?
947
01:23:13,698 --> 01:23:15,283
Ever since
I set foot on this planet
948
01:23:15,575 --> 01:23:18,536
everyone has taken
money from me
949
01:23:18,870 --> 01:23:22,123
You were the first to give it up
for me - dumping Rs.. 5,000 in a box
950
01:23:22,832 --> 01:23:26,336
I thought you are a good egg.
I could trust you
951
01:23:29,881 --> 01:23:32,258
I'll get your remote back, Tipsy
952
01:23:33,551 --> 01:23:34,928
How?
953
01:23:35,387 --> 01:23:39,474
I haven't figured it out yet,
but you'll go back home
954
01:23:39,891 --> 01:23:42,143
That's my promise
955
01:24:29,482 --> 01:24:31,526
What are you goggling at?
956
01:24:32,068 --> 01:24:33,069
You
957
01:24:34,112 --> 01:24:36,364
Aliens don't drop by everyday
958
01:24:37,699 --> 01:24:41,828
Everyone on your planet
has stick-out ears?
959
01:24:44,080 --> 01:24:45,582
Yup, ditto
960
01:24:45,582 --> 01:24:50,587
And they roam around naked?
Isn't it weird?
961
01:24:51,296 --> 01:24:54,924
That crow is naked -
does he look weird?
962
01:24:55,216 --> 01:24:58,386
If he dons a tie,
he'd look weird
963
01:25:00,472 --> 01:25:03,516
Tipsy, I was awake all night...
964
01:25:04,392 --> 01:25:07,520
...thinking how to get
your remote back
965
01:25:08,396 --> 01:25:09,147
Hello
966
01:25:09,397 --> 01:25:12,067
Connect to Balbir Singh.
Room No. 4
967
01:25:12,650 --> 01:25:13,777
Wrong number
968
01:25:14,277 --> 01:25:15,904
Isn't this Fortis Hospital?
969
01:25:16,237 --> 01:25:19,199
Since yesterday you've been
dialing this wrong number
970
01:25:19,199 --> 01:25:23,244
Impossible!
I can't be wrong every time!
971
01:25:24,412 --> 01:25:26,873
So how do we get
the remote?
972
01:25:30,168 --> 01:25:33,046
Connect to Balbir Singh.
Room No. 4
973
01:25:33,046 --> 01:25:36,007
Sorry, Sir.
You've called too late
974
01:25:36,382 --> 01:25:38,176
Balbir died this morning
975
01:25:38,635 --> 01:25:42,764
Huh! How can a
piles surgery be fatal?
976
01:25:43,098 --> 01:25:45,475
Embarrassing,
but don't worry
977
01:25:45,850 --> 01:25:47,936
Death Certificate
will say heart attack
978
01:25:48,228 --> 01:25:50,146
so the family saves face
979
01:25:50,522 --> 01:25:52,565
- Come for the body.
- On my way
980
01:25:52,982 --> 01:25:54,734
Ok, bye
981
01:25:57,612 --> 01:25:59,072
Why did you say that?
982
01:25:59,405 --> 01:26:00,782
Doling out joy
983
01:26:00,990 --> 01:26:05,161
When he finds his friend alive,
imagine his joy!
984
01:26:05,161 --> 01:26:06,037
What!
985
01:26:06,246 --> 01:26:10,333
I was sick of his calls.
So I played a prank
986
01:26:10,959 --> 01:26:14,170
- A prank?
- Tipsy, I was just kidding!
987
01:26:21,136 --> 01:26:22,554
L sot it!
988
01:26:23,596 --> 01:26:26,891
Someone is playing pranks
989
01:26:27,267 --> 01:26:29,727
When His Holiness dials God,
990
01:26:30,061 --> 01:26:33,231
cocking his head,
'God, enlighten me',
991
01:26:33,523 --> 01:26:35,650
his calls are going
to a Wrong Number
992
01:26:36,109 --> 01:26:38,945
Someone out there
plays pranks
993
01:26:39,237 --> 01:26:43,283
The real God won't call
my remote a bead
994
01:26:44,617 --> 01:26:51,332
Looks like the phone lines
to God have gone kaput
995
01:26:51,666 --> 01:26:54,043
All calls to God are going
to a Wrong Number!
996
01:26:54,377 --> 01:26:55,837
As in?
997
01:26:55,837 --> 01:27:00,216
Think - would the real God
give such weird solutions?
998
01:27:00,758 --> 01:27:04,596
Like - come rolling to me,
then I'll help you!
999
01:27:05,013 --> 01:27:07,348
Aren't we God's children?
1000
01:27:07,640 --> 01:27:12,812
Would a father make his kids
roll for help?
1001
01:27:13,438 --> 01:27:18,359
Your Dad ever said - kiddo,
want a new dress? Start rolling!
1002
01:27:19,194 --> 01:27:23,615
Another prank - bathe me
with cow's milk! What bull!
1003
01:27:24,240 --> 01:27:30,246
And if these calls went to
the real God, what would He say?
1004
01:27:30,538 --> 01:27:35,210
He'd say - millions of my children
are starving on streets
1005
01:27:35,501 --> 01:27:38,504
Give them milk.
Don't give me a lactose shower
1006
01:27:39,088 --> 01:27:42,634
I'm sure someone's playing
pranks, like you just did
1007
01:27:43,218 --> 01:27:45,970
Tipsy thought His Holiness
was a victim of pranks
1008
01:27:46,304 --> 01:27:48,223
I didn't clear his confusion
1009
01:27:48,681 --> 01:27:51,351
for a crazy idea was
forming in my head
1010
01:27:51,684 --> 01:27:55,480
An idea that would
get back Tipsy's remote
1011
01:27:56,564 --> 01:27:57,607
Who's this Tipsy?
1012
01:27:58,233 --> 01:28:00,068
That's a mystery
1013
01:28:00,401 --> 01:28:03,238
But the way he sees
this world is unique
1014
01:28:03,613 --> 01:28:06,783
- As in?
- If he saw you smoking,
1015
01:28:07,116 --> 01:28:09,577
he'd call the cops to say
you're attempting suicide
1016
01:28:09,953 --> 01:28:10,662
Why?
1017
01:28:10,662 --> 01:28:13,665
The pack says 'Smoking Kills'
yet you puff away
1018
01:28:15,166 --> 01:28:17,085
So what's the big idea?
1019
01:28:18,920 --> 01:28:20,171
Face-off
1020
01:28:20,546 --> 01:28:23,341
Between
Tipsy and His Holiness.
1021
01:28:23,841 --> 01:28:26,469
We'll take
the face-off to TV
1022
01:28:27,095 --> 01:28:29,389
Ratings will go
through the roof!
1023
01:28:30,223 --> 01:28:32,976
I have three trident marks
on my right bum
1024
01:28:33,434 --> 01:28:36,062
You want three more on my
left for balance?
1025
01:28:36,437 --> 01:28:37,355
Don't worry
1026
01:28:37,563 --> 01:28:42,527
Tipsy won't fight His Holiness
but gently explain, that...
1027
01:28:42,986 --> 01:28:45,947
...his calls to God are going to
a Wrong Number
1028
01:28:46,489 --> 01:28:49,409
His Holiness will be stumped
1029
01:28:50,034 --> 01:28:50,785
Cherry!
1030
01:28:51,244 --> 01:28:54,580
Tipsy's here.
Just meet him once
1031
01:28:55,039 --> 01:28:57,417
I bet his queries
will baffle you
1032
01:28:57,792 --> 01:28:59,377
Trust me. Please!
1033
01:29:10,096 --> 01:29:12,056
Excuse me,
you dropped this
1034
01:29:12,056 --> 01:29:13,391
Oh, thank you
1035
01:29:16,978 --> 01:29:19,105
That's not mine
1036
01:29:20,606 --> 01:29:23,359
Kamasutra condoms,
strawberry flavor
1037
01:29:24,736 --> 01:29:27,697
I hate strawberries, man.
Ask these guys
1038
01:29:28,114 --> 01:29:30,491
It's not mine.
Buzzed bozo!
1039
01:29:32,744 --> 01:29:34,954
- Ma'am, yours?
- How dare you!
1040
01:29:35,246 --> 01:29:39,375
- Check your purse if it's missing.
- Shameless lad!
1041
01:29:40,376 --> 01:29:43,212
- Has to be yours.
- No, not mine
1042
01:29:43,546 --> 01:29:45,214
Tipsy, it's his
1043
01:29:45,506 --> 01:29:49,969
Ask him all you want
to know about it. Come on in
1044
01:29:54,390 --> 01:29:55,516
What's this?
1045
01:29:56,642 --> 01:29:58,186
It's a condom
1046
01:29:58,519 --> 01:30:03,232
- What does it do?
- Controls the world's population
1047
01:30:03,941 --> 01:30:04,901
How?
1048
01:30:05,401 --> 01:30:09,697
It has to be worn
while having sex
1049
01:30:12,075 --> 01:30:15,244
How does your wearing it
control the world's population?
1050
01:30:15,411 --> 01:30:18,539
Not just me...
millions wear it
1051
01:30:18,831 --> 01:30:20,750
They all borrow it from you?
1052
01:30:21,042 --> 01:30:22,877
No. Everyone has it
1053
01:30:23,252 --> 01:30:27,048
- I've a question
- Go on Tipsy, shoot
1054
01:30:27,382 --> 01:30:31,552
If money is dropped,
all run for it
1055
01:30:31,761 --> 01:30:37,016
If a condom is dropped,
all run away from it. Why?
1056
01:30:37,558 --> 01:30:39,936
Sex is a very private matter
1057
01:30:40,103 --> 01:30:41,396
Why?
1058
01:30:41,646 --> 01:30:44,982
You don't tell the whole town -
I'm having sex today
1059
01:30:45,441 --> 01:30:50,488
But, then at weddings,
with fireworks and music bands
1060
01:30:50,488 --> 01:30:55,410
why do they tell the whole town -
I'm having sex today?
1061
01:30:57,578 --> 01:30:58,913
What's the matter?
1062
01:30:59,664 --> 01:31:04,669
I have no answer for you
but I have a job for you
1063
01:31:05,628 --> 01:31:07,171
Thank you!
1064
01:31:08,214 --> 01:31:11,676
Let's beat it before
he changes his mind
1065
01:31:13,636 --> 01:31:16,139
Shield your holy bum,
Your Holiness
1066
01:31:16,389 --> 01:31:18,349
My trident is on its way
1067
01:31:22,311 --> 01:31:25,731
At this place His Holiness
connects his devotees to God
1068
01:31:25,940 --> 01:31:27,692
for solutions to their woes
1069
01:31:28,109 --> 01:31:31,070
Listen carefully to his calls
1070
01:31:31,070 --> 01:31:37,410
If you think the calls are going
to a Wrong Number, alert him
1071
01:31:37,869 --> 01:31:41,456
- Will that get me my remote?
- Once he realises...
1072
01:31:41,456 --> 01:31:46,210
...the bead story is a prank
he'll return your remote
1073
01:31:46,210 --> 01:31:49,255
Good plan. Let's go
1074
01:31:50,631 --> 01:31:53,843
To build a home for someone
is a holy deed
1075
01:31:53,843 --> 01:31:58,347
To build a home for God
is the holiest deed
1076
01:31:58,931 --> 01:32:01,476
So donate for the temple
1077
01:32:01,809 --> 01:32:04,604
And see
your woes flee
1078
01:32:05,396 --> 01:32:08,941
Son, voice your woe
1079
01:32:09,942 --> 01:32:11,277
Your Holiness,
1080
01:32:11,986 --> 01:32:14,447
my wife's been paralyzed
for six months
1081
01:32:14,822 --> 01:32:18,451
The doctors have given up.
What shall I...
1082
01:32:20,077 --> 01:32:21,579
God
1083
01:32:22,371 --> 01:32:23,664
Enlighten me
1084
01:32:30,796 --> 01:32:32,173
Yes...
1085
01:32:35,510 --> 01:32:37,720
What place?
1086
01:32:42,558 --> 01:32:44,477
What transport?
1087
01:32:47,146 --> 01:32:49,398
Your wish is our command
1088
01:32:52,193 --> 01:32:54,862
Have you heard of
the Rathong glacier?
1089
01:32:54,862 --> 01:32:56,030
No
1090
01:32:56,489 --> 01:33:00,952
It's in the Himalayas.
Take a train to Silliguri
1091
01:33:01,786 --> 01:33:04,497
then a bus to Gangtok
1092
01:33:05,373 --> 01:33:09,919
then an eight day trek
1093
01:33:10,461 --> 01:33:15,049
You'll reach a grand temple
1094
01:33:16,008 --> 01:33:19,178
Pray there,
your problem will be solved
1095
01:33:19,387 --> 01:33:21,764
Wrong Number!
This is a Wrong Number!
1096
01:33:22,139 --> 01:33:23,933
- What?
- Wrong Number
1097
01:33:24,308 --> 01:33:29,605
Your Holiness, your phone line
to God has gone kaput
1098
01:33:30,398 --> 01:33:32,441
Your calls are going to
a Wrong Number
1099
01:33:32,733 --> 01:33:36,487
and a fake God is
playing pranks
1100
01:33:36,696 --> 01:33:39,907
What are you trying to say?
1101
01:33:40,283 --> 01:33:43,119
I'll explain.
Aren't we God's children?
1102
01:33:43,786 --> 01:33:44,704
Yes, so?
1103
01:33:44,996 --> 01:33:48,583
Say your kid's in a jam
and comes to you
1104
01:33:49,041 --> 01:33:51,669
Will you help promptly,
or will you say
1105
01:33:51,919 --> 01:33:55,172
kiddo, I've another house
2,000 miles away
1106
01:33:55,381 --> 01:33:58,384
Come there, tell me
the same problem again
1107
01:33:58,718 --> 01:34:01,095
Then I'll solve it.
What bull!
1108
01:34:01,429 --> 01:34:06,684
If the call went to real God, He'd
say: Son, tend to your ailing wife,
1109
01:34:07,101 --> 01:34:09,395
don't run after me
1110
01:34:09,729 --> 01:34:12,648
after death
you'll come to me anyway
1111
01:34:12,857 --> 01:34:16,444
give her your time now. Right?
1112
01:34:20,740 --> 01:34:23,242
I can prove it's a prank
1113
01:34:23,451 --> 01:34:26,704
Call this fake God
again and ask
1114
01:34:27,038 --> 01:34:29,498
What's the guarantee
she will get well
1115
01:34:29,790 --> 01:34:33,878
Sir, till you get it in writing,
don't leave her side
1116
01:34:34,086 --> 01:34:37,006
Just call,
and clear all doubt
1117
01:34:38,007 --> 01:34:41,260
It's time for His Holiness'
holy silence
1118
01:34:43,012 --> 01:34:52,104
Praise be to God
Glory be to God
1119
01:34:54,774 --> 01:34:59,695
This fake God is passing off
my property as a holy bead
1120
01:35:00,071 --> 01:35:02,948
He's playing a prank
1121
01:35:04,492 --> 01:35:07,119
He is no God.
He is a fraud
1122
01:35:07,745 --> 01:35:09,664
He is a FRAUD
1123
01:35:09,955 --> 01:35:13,501
God doesn't talk
to us mortals
1124
01:35:14,251 --> 01:35:17,880
He communicates
through His managers
1125
01:35:18,381 --> 01:35:21,801
- Tipsy has raised a big question.
- What?
1126
01:35:23,302 --> 01:35:26,597
Is God really talking
to the managers?
1127
01:35:26,597 --> 01:35:27,556
No
1128
01:35:27,556 --> 01:35:31,811
So where do the commands
for us come from?
1129
01:35:32,186 --> 01:35:35,731
- From a Wrong Number!
- So what should the public do?
1130
01:35:35,981 --> 01:35:39,860
Till phone lines are fixed,
don't depend on God's managers
1131
01:35:39,860 --> 01:35:42,446
Help each other
in difficult times
1132
01:35:42,863 --> 01:35:49,912
A great tip from Tipsy:
Don't rely on God's managers
1133
01:35:50,204 --> 01:35:53,124
Rely on each other
1134
01:35:55,292 --> 01:35:59,046
Hail Lord Shiva
1135
01:36:00,381 --> 01:36:04,927
Tipsy says don't make the temple,
the bead belongs to him
1136
01:36:05,094 --> 01:36:07,138
What's in your pocket?
1137
01:36:09,640 --> 01:36:12,351
- Do you smoke?
- Yes
1138
01:36:12,643 --> 01:36:16,772
- You consume alcohol?
- Occasionally
1139
01:36:17,022 --> 01:36:20,317
You smoke cigarettes,
consume alcohol
1140
01:36:20,317 --> 01:36:23,904
despite knowing
their fatal effects
1141
01:36:24,780 --> 01:36:26,949
Governments
permit these poisons,
1142
01:36:27,450 --> 01:36:32,580
factories manufacture them,
stores sell them
1143
01:36:32,747 --> 01:36:34,915
Nobody questions this
1144
01:36:35,249 --> 01:36:42,715
But in this sacred land of
Lord Ram and Krishna
1145
01:36:42,923 --> 01:36:45,509
if I wish to build a temple
1146
01:36:46,385 --> 01:36:48,220
why these questions?
1147
01:36:49,054 --> 01:36:56,395
Why not question the man
who is trying to stall this temple?
1148
01:36:56,771 --> 01:36:58,355
Who's this Tipsy?
1149
01:36:58,856 --> 01:37:00,900
What's his real name?
1150
01:37:02,234 --> 01:37:06,363
Why's he hiding it?
ls he a Muslim?
1151
01:37:07,114 --> 01:37:11,452
If question you must,
go ask Tipsy
1152
01:37:11,452 --> 01:37:13,162
what is his religion?
1153
01:37:13,496 --> 01:37:17,708
Find out his religion,
Find out his faith
1154
01:37:20,628 --> 01:37:23,547
Centuries ago,
Mohammad of Ghazni
1155
01:37:24,423 --> 01:37:26,425
came and destroyed
our temples
1156
01:37:27,051 --> 01:37:31,514
Today another invader
wants to repeat history
1157
01:37:31,806 --> 01:37:32,932
But we won't allow...
1158
01:37:59,834 --> 01:38:04,338
Your God asks my religion.
Let's ask Him...
1159
01:38:04,505 --> 01:38:07,049
...the religions of these people
1160
01:38:07,049 --> 01:38:11,428
- What nonsense?
- Call up your God!
1161
01:38:11,428 --> 01:38:15,933
Why bother God?
I'll tell you
1162
01:38:16,267 --> 01:38:18,102
This one is a Hindu.
He's a Christian...
1163
01:38:18,435 --> 01:38:20,145
...Sikh, Jain and...
1164
01:38:20,479 --> 01:38:23,148
...that one is of your religion
1165
01:38:24,942 --> 01:38:27,528
Enlighten him
1166
01:38:28,028 --> 01:38:31,407
Hello. I'm Sikh
1167
01:38:31,740 --> 01:38:34,994
Greetings.
I'm Muslim
1168
01:38:35,411 --> 01:38:37,496
I'm Jain
1169
01:38:37,496 --> 01:38:39,915
Hi,
I'm Christian
1170
01:38:40,499 --> 01:38:43,752
Hello! I'm Hindu
1171
01:38:44,378 --> 01:38:45,713
Bamboozled!
1172
01:38:46,130 --> 01:38:49,758
I swapped their robes.
Get it?
1173
01:38:50,009 --> 01:38:52,094
Faith is connected
to fashion
1174
01:38:52,094 --> 01:38:55,180
Want a demo?
Check the math
1175
01:38:55,848 --> 01:38:58,475
Beard + moustache + turban = Sikh
1176
01:38:58,976 --> 01:39:01,604
Minus turban = Hindu
1177
01:39:01,854 --> 01:39:05,024
Minus moustache = Muslim!
1178
01:39:05,774 --> 01:39:08,736
This difference is
made by the fake God
1179
01:39:09,069 --> 01:39:11,530
If real God wanted it,
He'd put a label on us
1180
01:39:11,530 --> 01:39:14,617
- ls there a label on your body?
- Mine?
1181
01:39:14,617 --> 01:39:17,703
Don't gape, strip and check!
1182
01:39:18,120 --> 01:39:19,955
Why be coy?
1183
01:39:20,497 --> 01:39:25,336
Strip everyone, show His Holiness.
ls there any label?
1184
01:39:25,753 --> 01:39:29,590
Cut the coyness.
OK, I'll go first
1185
01:39:32,092 --> 01:39:34,637
See the bare facts
1186
01:39:35,846 --> 01:39:40,684
ls there a label?
1187
01:39:41,477 --> 01:39:43,020
Nothing! You see!
1188
01:39:43,312 --> 01:39:44,939
Check some more...
1189
01:39:45,439 --> 01:39:47,524
Remove this ruffian
1190
01:39:47,983 --> 01:39:51,070
Hey!
I'm proving a point
1191
01:39:51,236 --> 01:39:53,238
Start the chants!
1192
01:39:53,489 --> 01:39:56,033
Praise be to God
Glory be to God
1193
01:39:56,283 --> 01:40:00,120
That's no divine bead
1194
01:40:08,087 --> 01:40:09,129
Jaggu!
1195
01:40:10,297 --> 01:40:11,632
Stop this farce!
1196
01:40:12,132 --> 01:40:13,092
Papa!
1197
01:40:15,427 --> 01:40:19,515
You were all of 40 days, when
His Holiness christened you
1198
01:40:19,765 --> 01:40:23,477
Remember, he who gives you
a name, can ruin it too
1199
01:40:24,186 --> 01:40:26,397
He named me
Jagat Janani
1200
01:40:26,730 --> 01:40:28,148
How can he ruin it further?
1201
01:40:28,482 --> 01:40:31,443
You!
Name your price
1202
01:40:31,777 --> 01:40:32,361
Papa!
1203
01:40:32,611 --> 01:40:35,406
Trying to scare His Holiness
to extort money
1204
01:40:35,656 --> 01:40:36,198
No, no
1205
01:40:36,532 --> 01:40:41,370
You'll burn in Hell!
Fear the wrath of God!
1206
01:40:46,458 --> 01:40:49,086
Thank you Papa!
Thank you
1207
01:40:49,962 --> 01:40:53,424
I'd solved only half the puzzle.
You pieced it together
1208
01:40:53,757 --> 01:40:55,342
Fear is the key
1209
01:40:55,634 --> 01:41:00,973
The prankster is
cashing in on fear. Get it?
1210
01:41:01,515 --> 01:41:04,018
Not exactly,
but can you explain to Papa?
1211
01:41:04,184 --> 01:41:08,105
You bet! I can prove it.
Follow me
1212
01:41:09,398 --> 01:41:11,400
I don't have time
for this nonsense
1213
01:41:11,775 --> 01:41:15,738
If it turns out to be nonsense,
I'll call off the show
1214
01:41:28,542 --> 01:41:32,921
Exams are on at this college.
The students are scared stiff
1215
01:41:33,213 --> 01:41:38,093
Now, we'll establish our business -
The Fear Factory
1216
01:41:49,313 --> 01:41:51,648
Machine installed
1217
01:41:56,737 --> 01:41:59,531
A little seed capital
1218
01:42:03,494 --> 01:42:06,997
Now the inauguration
1219
01:42:16,173 --> 01:42:21,011
Just watch!
Capital doubles in 15 minutes
1220
01:42:26,975 --> 01:42:28,435
Look there
1221
01:42:30,562 --> 01:42:32,147
The first customer!
1222
01:42:32,815 --> 01:42:36,068
Tea... piping hot tea
1223
01:42:36,527 --> 01:42:38,821
Check the investment
of the tea vendor
1224
01:42:39,196 --> 01:42:42,491
Kettle, tea, sugar, bike,
thermos
1225
01:42:42,950 --> 01:42:46,495
And here -
a rock and a red mark
1226
01:42:46,787 --> 01:42:48,455
Hot and piping tea...
1227
01:42:48,705 --> 01:42:50,916
There, you gotta
woo the clients
1228
01:42:51,208 --> 01:42:54,002
Here you shoo them away
1229
01:42:54,211 --> 01:42:58,382
Hey, scram.
Give others a chance
1230
01:43:01,051 --> 01:43:03,345
There you bow
before the customer
1231
01:43:03,637 --> 01:43:05,931
Here the customer
bows before you
1232
01:43:08,433 --> 01:43:12,521
If he's in deep trouble,
he goes horizontal
1233
01:43:13,605 --> 01:43:17,985
The Wrong Number guy
trades in fear
1234
01:43:18,402 --> 01:43:21,405
He knows - those in dread
to the temple head
1235
01:43:22,197 --> 01:43:25,075
You too seem afraid!
Off with these...
1236
01:43:26,410 --> 01:43:28,912
Do not question religion
1237
01:43:29,496 --> 01:43:31,623
It's a matter of faith!
1238
01:43:31,957 --> 01:43:34,334
If God didn't want us
to raise questions
1239
01:43:34,668 --> 01:43:38,505
He wouldn't give us
the power to reason
1240
01:43:39,173 --> 01:43:42,676
Guardians of religion use violence
when they can't answer us
1241
01:43:43,177 --> 01:43:46,763
They scare us into silence.
But now we won't be silent
1242
01:43:47,431 --> 01:43:51,768
So far one Tipsy raised questions.
Now there'll be a thousand
1243
01:43:52,519 --> 01:43:55,022
Friends, pick up your phones
1244
01:43:55,397 --> 01:44:00,277
When you spot a Wrong Number,
shoot it and send it to us
1245
01:44:00,736 --> 01:44:02,946
We'll put it on TV
1246
01:44:03,405 --> 01:44:05,365
Dump your fear,
ask questions
1247
01:44:15,125 --> 01:44:17,002
Holy Sir!
1248
01:44:17,419 --> 01:44:18,795
One question
1249
01:44:18,795 --> 01:44:21,131
If you can conjure gold
from thin air
1250
01:44:21,423 --> 01:44:24,176
why don't you end
the nation's poverty?
1251
01:44:24,468 --> 01:44:26,345
Answer please
1252
01:44:27,137 --> 01:44:28,222
Holy Sir!
1253
01:44:28,222 --> 01:44:33,018
Since you're a walking gold mine,
why ask us for donations?
1254
01:44:35,520 --> 01:44:37,814
God is great!
1255
01:44:38,106 --> 01:44:40,359
This is a Wrong Number
1256
01:44:40,567 --> 01:44:44,029
- Jaggu... come with me
- Cherry give me a moment
1257
01:44:44,404 --> 01:44:48,242
Come with me
1258
01:44:48,408 --> 01:44:50,285
The Wrong Number idea
is a national rage
1259
01:44:50,786 --> 01:44:54,122
- What!
- It's spread like wild fire
1260
01:44:59,586 --> 01:45:02,339
Guru says - to land a job,
feed a cow
1261
01:45:02,631 --> 01:45:06,134
ls this cow
an employment agent?
1262
01:45:06,385 --> 01:45:10,097
Or posts CVs on Monster.com?
Wrong Number
1263
01:45:10,264 --> 01:45:11,348
Watch this one!
1264
01:45:12,057 --> 01:45:14,518
He says, convert to
Christianity, or be damned
1265
01:45:14,977 --> 01:45:18,522
If God wanted,
I'd be Christian by birth
1266
01:45:18,981 --> 01:45:21,525
Why convert now?
Wrong Number
1267
01:45:22,901 --> 01:45:24,486
These girls want to
go to school
1268
01:45:24,861 --> 01:45:27,948
A new dictat says:
kill them if they do
1269
01:45:28,156 --> 01:45:32,744
ls God so small,
He'll deny children knowledge?
1270
01:45:33,412 --> 01:45:34,955
Wrong Number
1271
01:45:35,539 --> 01:45:38,917
What God has destined for you
will happen
1272
01:45:39,376 --> 01:45:43,422
He has a master plan
for the Universe
1273
01:45:44,006 --> 01:45:45,632
Accept it
1274
01:45:45,966 --> 01:45:50,387
Your disciples say:
to get a male child,
1275
01:45:50,595 --> 01:45:55,058
buy this book,
and chant the mantras
1276
01:45:55,392 --> 01:45:59,021
So buy a Rs.. 10 book
1277
01:45:59,021 --> 01:46:01,815
and bust
God's master plan!
1278
01:46:11,158 --> 01:46:15,287
Tipsy! Your show's a hit!
Messages are pouring in
1279
01:46:15,495 --> 01:46:17,164
Here's one more
1280
01:46:22,169 --> 01:46:23,337
What happened?
1281
01:46:24,254 --> 01:46:28,175
It's Papa. He's ashamed
I'm his daughter
1282
01:46:32,012 --> 01:46:34,639
I was in tenth grade
1283
01:46:35,932 --> 01:46:38,518
when I wrote my first poem
1284
01:46:39,227 --> 01:46:41,271
For Papa
1285
01:46:42,272 --> 01:46:47,611
They say my Mom I resemble.
I say possible,
1286
01:46:48,445 --> 01:46:51,573
but I'm my Daddy's girl
1287
01:46:51,990 --> 01:46:54,368
I recited it
on the Annual Day
1288
01:46:54,993 --> 01:46:56,912
All parents clapped
1289
01:46:57,371 --> 01:47:01,333
but one whistled with joy
1290
01:47:02,542 --> 01:47:06,588
The applause ended,
the whistling continued
1291
01:47:07,589 --> 01:47:09,132
It was Papa
1292
01:47:09,633 --> 01:47:11,676
He was so proud of me
1293
01:47:13,136 --> 01:47:17,599
And now this message.
Ashamed of you
1294
01:47:18,266 --> 01:47:23,397
There's a Wrong Number
in your Papa's head
1295
01:47:24,147 --> 01:47:29,694
The day he gets rid of it,
he'll whistle for you again
1296
01:47:30,153 --> 01:47:31,822
It won't happen
1297
01:47:32,447 --> 01:47:35,450
Don't be sad. Come with me
1298
01:47:35,450 --> 01:47:39,621
On my planet when people are sad,
know what they do?
1299
01:47:40,122 --> 01:47:41,456
What?
1300
01:47:41,790 --> 01:47:44,459
Recharge the battery!
1301
01:47:44,793 --> 01:47:47,504
- What!
- Just copy me
1302
01:47:52,759 --> 01:47:54,344
What are we doing?
1303
01:48:00,392 --> 01:48:02,102
Shut your eyes!
1304
01:48:02,269 --> 01:48:04,104
How do I copy then?
1305
01:48:04,104 --> 01:48:05,939
Right.
Keep them open
1306
01:49:40,242 --> 01:49:43,203
To steal glances at you all day
1307
01:49:43,495 --> 01:49:46,206
To strain for every word you say
1308
01:49:46,581 --> 01:49:49,459
To put every chore aside
1309
01:49:49,834 --> 01:49:52,796
And follow your every stride
1310
01:49:53,004 --> 01:49:55,549
That's nothing but a
waste of time
1311
01:49:56,132 --> 01:49:58,927
Love is a waste of time
1312
01:49:59,386 --> 01:50:01,930
Amore is nothing more
1313
01:50:02,389 --> 01:50:05,350
Love is a waste of time
1314
01:50:05,934 --> 01:50:08,895
But my mind and heart insist
1315
01:50:09,145 --> 01:50:11,898
Once in this life at least
1316
01:50:12,399 --> 01:50:14,693
I must waste my time
1317
01:50:15,110 --> 01:50:17,779
Without reason or rhyme
1318
01:50:18,321 --> 01:50:21,116
I want to waste my time
1319
01:50:21,449 --> 01:50:24,035
I love this waste of time
1320
01:50:41,177 --> 01:50:45,515
A zillion peeps into the mirror
1321
01:50:47,475 --> 01:50:52,230
A million times
I've styled my hair
1322
01:50:53,982 --> 01:50:59,112
Countless sets of
clothes I've tried
1323
01:51:00,405 --> 01:51:04,951
Emptied perfume
bottles with flair
1324
01:51:06,578 --> 01:51:12,334
Dressing up is all I did
Did nothing else worthwhile
1325
01:51:13,209 --> 01:51:15,962
Now I understand
1326
01:51:16,296 --> 01:51:18,923
That love is waste of time
1327
01:51:19,382 --> 01:51:22,344
But my mind and heart insist
1328
01:51:22,636 --> 01:51:25,639
Once in this life at least
1329
01:51:25,972 --> 01:51:28,391
I must waste my time
1330
01:51:28,683 --> 01:51:31,478
Without reason or rhyme
1331
01:51:31,978 --> 01:51:34,731
I want to waste my time
1332
01:51:35,106 --> 01:51:38,360
I love this waste of time
1333
01:52:13,978 --> 01:52:18,525
My world has
topsy-turvy turned
1334
01:52:20,610 --> 01:52:25,490
I know not how to tell you
1335
01:52:26,991 --> 01:52:31,913
I smile without rhyme
or reason
1336
01:52:33,206 --> 01:52:37,752
What's happening
I have no clue
1337
01:52:39,587 --> 01:52:45,343
The mind just wants to soar
And from rooftops yell
1338
01:52:46,010 --> 01:52:52,100
Now I understand
Love is a waste of time
1339
01:52:52,392 --> 01:52:55,520
But my mind and heart insist
1340
01:52:55,729 --> 01:52:58,523
Once in this life at least
1341
01:52:58,857 --> 01:53:00,984
I must waste my time
1342
01:53:01,943 --> 01:53:04,487
Without reason or rhyme
1343
01:53:04,738 --> 01:53:07,782
I want to waste my time
1344
01:53:08,074 --> 01:53:11,453
I love this waste of time
1345
01:53:51,117 --> 01:53:54,245
The donation box is getting
more questions than cash
1346
01:53:54,579 --> 01:53:59,417
Your relics don't sell anymore
1347
01:53:59,959 --> 01:54:04,047
Millions of abuses on
Facebook and Twitter
1348
01:54:05,548 --> 01:54:08,885
- Just five?
- Those are in support
1349
01:54:09,302 --> 01:54:11,221
The abuses are in here
1350
01:54:11,930 --> 01:54:18,061
It's time for action, Sir.
Avoiding the issue can be disastrous
1351
01:54:22,690 --> 01:54:24,234
Missing: God
1352
01:54:24,567 --> 01:54:25,985
Call Cherry Bajwa
1353
01:54:26,694 --> 01:54:30,490
Tipsy has asked many questions.
I'll ask him just one
1354
01:54:30,740 --> 01:54:33,618
- Hey Jaggu
- What happened?
1355
01:54:34,619 --> 01:54:38,039
His Holiness wants to come
on the show. To debate with Tipsy
1356
01:54:38,248 --> 01:54:40,917
- Tipsy'll rip him!
- It'll be a mother of a show!
1357
01:54:41,251 --> 01:54:44,546
Get Tipsy ready.
Put the promos out
1358
01:54:44,963 --> 01:54:48,675
'The Final Question'
Sunday 6:00 pm
1359
01:54:50,552 --> 01:54:55,098
Don't miss, 'The Final Question'
Sunday 6:00 pm
1360
01:54:55,265 --> 01:55:00,019
My pal's become a star!
Hey look, he's a rock star
1361
01:55:00,228 --> 01:55:03,940
Rock star was
roaming butt naked
1362
01:55:04,232 --> 01:55:09,362
I made him a star.
The bloke's on TV
1363
01:55:09,946 --> 01:55:15,994
and me - in this shanty town,
this crappy shack
1364
01:55:16,411 --> 01:55:20,748
guzzling booze with
a jackass like you
1365
01:55:20,957 --> 01:55:23,084
Star my foot!
1366
01:55:39,183 --> 01:55:41,644
Tipsy, some
Bhairon Singh for you
1367
01:55:41,978 --> 01:55:43,062
Bhairon!
1368
01:55:43,271 --> 01:55:44,981
Take that line
1369
01:55:46,399 --> 01:55:48,735
- Bro!
- You lusty lad
1370
01:55:48,985 --> 01:55:50,945
You're a rock star!
1371
01:55:51,112 --> 01:55:53,364
Bro, where are you?
1372
01:55:53,531 --> 01:55:56,618
In Mandawa.
Coming to Delhi tomorrow
1373
01:55:56,951 --> 01:55:59,579
With a gift for you
1374
01:56:00,038 --> 01:56:04,334
I've nabbed the thief
who stole your stuff
1375
01:56:04,709 --> 01:56:07,629
He sold it for 40 grand
1376
01:56:08,296 --> 01:56:10,423
- Guess to whom.
- Whom?
1377
01:56:11,049 --> 01:56:14,344
His Holiness!
1378
01:56:16,596 --> 01:56:23,561
God said: it's a divine bead
from Lord Shiva 's necklace. Take it...
1379
01:56:24,103 --> 01:56:29,817
...and enshrine it in a grand temple.
Sighting this bead...
1380
01:56:30,026 --> 01:56:31,361
HEY;
1381
01:56:32,654 --> 01:56:34,822
what happened?
1382
01:56:35,323 --> 01:56:38,993
The thief who stole
my remote is caught
1383
01:56:39,285 --> 01:56:40,620
What! Really?
1384
01:56:40,870 --> 01:56:46,209
Bro said, the thief sold it to
His Holiness
1385
01:56:46,376 --> 01:56:48,211
Then His Holiness is finished!
1386
01:56:48,962 --> 01:56:52,674
We'll tell him -
return the remote,
1387
01:56:53,049 --> 01:56:55,343
or the thief tells all on TV
1388
01:56:56,135 --> 01:57:01,599
So he didn't find my remote
in the Himalayas! He's lying
1389
01:57:02,642 --> 01:57:06,813
Wrong Numbers are not
floated by some fake God...
1390
01:57:07,313 --> 01:57:09,482
...but by His Holiness
1391
01:57:11,943 --> 01:57:14,237
You knew this Jaggu?
1392
01:57:14,404 --> 01:57:16,739
Remember the day
you mentioned Wrong Number
1393
01:57:17,073 --> 01:57:21,995
All his calls are going
to a Wrong Number
1394
01:57:22,286 --> 01:57:26,916
I knew then you were on the
wrong track. But I kept mum
1395
01:57:27,250 --> 01:57:30,920
If you'd called him a fraud,
people would have killed you
1396
01:57:31,170 --> 01:57:33,256
People crave for the unique
1397
01:57:33,464 --> 01:57:35,091
Wrong Number!
1398
01:57:35,383 --> 01:57:38,219
Your Wrong Number
concept was unique
1399
01:57:38,511 --> 01:57:41,055
Today the world supports you
1400
01:57:41,264 --> 01:57:45,810
Tipsy, my plan worked!
You're going home!
1401
01:57:50,481 --> 01:57:53,901
You'll fly away tomorrow,
my friend
1402
01:57:54,193 --> 01:57:56,946
Whoosh... gone
1403
01:57:58,656 --> 01:58:01,451
We'll never meet again
1404
01:58:03,036 --> 01:58:06,164
There will be such a void
1405
01:58:07,373 --> 01:58:10,126
I'll really miss you
1406
01:58:11,919 --> 01:58:13,921
Shall I stay back?
1407
01:58:16,841 --> 01:58:19,343
How can you?
1408
01:58:20,219 --> 01:58:23,514
Simple,
I have a job
1409
01:58:24,098 --> 01:58:27,143
I'll get some ID made
and settle here
1410
01:58:27,602 --> 01:58:31,773
I'll find someone to
'waste time' with me
1411
01:58:32,398 --> 01:58:34,817
I'll marry her
1412
01:58:35,151 --> 01:58:37,820
- Who'll marry you!
- Why not?
1413
01:58:38,237 --> 01:58:42,617
Your wife will go nuts
introducing you -
1414
01:58:43,409 --> 01:58:46,996
Meet my husband.
He's Tipsy!
1415
01:58:47,997 --> 01:58:51,209
That's not my name!
1416
01:58:51,375 --> 01:58:54,087
- Tipsyyy!
- I'll get a real name
1417
01:58:55,379 --> 01:59:01,135
Why don't you suggest one?
A name you love
1418
01:59:01,928 --> 01:59:07,558
A man's name must
match his personality
1419
01:59:07,850 --> 01:59:09,352
Right!
1420
01:59:09,602 --> 01:59:12,146
So how is my personality?
1421
01:59:12,480 --> 01:59:14,357
I'll explain
1422
01:59:15,066 --> 01:59:17,652
A poet once wrote...
1423
01:59:19,403 --> 01:59:22,365
Irony of mismatched names...
1424
01:59:22,615 --> 01:59:25,910
No poetry, please!
I've something to say
1425
01:59:26,536 --> 01:59:30,998
Who says
'What's in a name?'
1426
01:59:32,500 --> 01:59:36,254
If you don't get the right one,
what a pain
1427
01:59:37,296 --> 01:59:41,175
Mr Burns is in fact so cool
1428
01:59:41,551 --> 01:59:44,345
With violence alone
Mr Peace does rule
1429
01:59:45,847 --> 01:59:51,352
His name is Mr Fox
But has no bushy tail
1430
01:59:52,395 --> 01:59:57,024
"I love you Jaggu"
1431
01:59:57,400 --> 02:00:01,362
One whole ton is the
weight of Mr Flower
1432
02:00:01,988 --> 02:00:05,783
At his mere sight,
the poor chair does cower
1433
02:00:05,992 --> 02:00:07,618
Very nice... very nice
1434
02:00:07,952 --> 02:00:11,372
Here's a bunch of cards
with different names
1435
02:00:11,789 --> 02:00:15,209
Pick the one you like
1436
02:00:15,418 --> 02:00:18,045
Danduram Thatte?
1437
02:00:18,504 --> 02:00:20,965
- Disaster!
- Next!
1438
02:00:21,716 --> 02:00:23,384
Tutari Singh?
1439
02:00:23,843 --> 02:00:25,469
phooey!
1440
02:00:26,596 --> 02:00:28,181
Sarfaraz
1441
02:00:32,643 --> 02:00:35,229
- Sarfaraz...
- What happened?
1442
02:00:35,521 --> 02:00:38,274
Keep going,
find a good name
1443
02:00:41,694 --> 02:00:43,279
What's the matter?
1444
02:00:43,946 --> 02:00:45,489
Nothing
1445
02:01:38,042 --> 02:01:39,919
"I love you Jaggu"
1446
02:01:54,058 --> 02:01:55,768
Brother!
1447
02:02:28,384 --> 02:02:32,054
God is in His Heaven
We mortals on ground
1448
02:02:32,430 --> 02:02:35,766
God is in His Heaven
We mortals on ground
1449
02:02:36,392 --> 02:02:40,354
Nowadays He doesn't have
Time to look around
1450
02:02:40,563 --> 02:02:44,525
God is in His Heaven
We mortals on ground
1451
02:02:52,658 --> 02:02:56,120
Whatever may happen here
He does not reprimand
1452
02:02:56,537 --> 02:03:00,499
Thousand evils, million wrongs
He does not take a stand
1453
02:03:00,791 --> 02:03:05,171
Plundering is all around
Bombs come to hound
1454
02:03:52,760 --> 02:03:56,097
A terrorist outfit has claimed
responsibility for the blast
1455
02:03:56,430 --> 02:03:59,600
They say this was
a mock drill
1456
02:04:00,184 --> 02:04:02,812
Persecute our people,
and real war will follow
1457
02:04:03,187 --> 02:04:06,065
We shall protect our God
1458
02:04:27,420 --> 02:04:29,588
Where are you
going, Tipsy?
1459
02:04:30,423 --> 02:04:31,632
On the show
1460
02:04:32,007 --> 02:04:34,009
You don't have to
1461
02:04:36,387 --> 02:04:38,931
I must.
More than ever
1462
02:04:53,446 --> 02:04:58,701
'The Final Question'
Welcome to our special show
1463
02:04:58,993 --> 02:05:00,536
in which we meet Tipsy...
1464
02:05:00,536 --> 02:05:02,496
Wait a minute
1465
02:05:08,461 --> 02:05:10,337
Bring it
1466
02:05:15,968 --> 02:05:17,720
What is this?
1467
02:05:18,053 --> 02:05:22,641
God says: it's a divine bead
from His necklace
1468
02:05:22,975 --> 02:05:26,520
This man claims,
it's his property
1469
02:05:27,396 --> 02:05:30,774
God says: build a temple
1470
02:05:31,400 --> 02:05:34,820
And this man opposes it
1471
02:05:35,112 --> 02:05:40,451
Who do I listen to?
God, or this gentleman
1472
02:05:40,951 --> 02:05:46,582
who used to hand out these
blasphemous pamphlets?
1473
02:05:48,083 --> 02:05:51,086
First he claimed,
God is missing
1474
02:05:51,754 --> 02:05:53,714
Then said, God is a fraud
1475
02:05:54,006 --> 02:05:57,718
Next he'll say,
God is dead
1476
02:05:59,220 --> 02:06:04,725
What do you want, son?
A world without God?
1477
02:06:06,977 --> 02:06:11,398
Do you have any clue
how people suffer?
1478
02:06:11,857 --> 02:06:14,109
No food to eat
1479
02:06:14,818 --> 02:06:16,779
No place to live
1480
02:06:17,696 --> 02:06:20,407
No friend to talk to
1481
02:06:20,991 --> 02:06:27,498
People kill themselves.
Slit their wrists, jump off buildings
1482
02:06:27,915 --> 02:06:31,919
Why?
Because they have no hope
1483
02:06:32,378 --> 02:06:36,924
If bowing before God,
smearing holy ash,
1484
02:06:37,633 --> 02:06:42,346
wearing amulets,
gives them hope to live,
1485
02:06:42,680 --> 02:06:47,351
then who are you
to snatch away that hope?
1486
02:06:47,977 --> 02:06:56,026
And if you snatch away their God,
how will you fill that void?
1487
02:06:56,986 --> 02:07:00,990
This man rants about
Wrong Numbers
1488
02:07:01,407 --> 02:07:07,246
Today he must tell us:
what is the Right Number?
1489
02:07:15,087 --> 02:07:18,132
You are right, Your Holiness
1490
02:07:18,924 --> 02:07:24,346
There was a time
I too had no food to eat
1491
02:07:25,180 --> 02:07:26,932
No place to live
1492
02:07:27,474 --> 02:07:32,521
I cried a lot
because I had no friend
1493
02:07:33,981 --> 02:07:37,192
I had only one hope then -
1494
02:07:39,737 --> 02:07:41,488
God
1495
02:07:42,531 --> 02:07:45,659
Each day I hoped:
tomorrow will be better
1496
02:07:46,076 --> 02:07:48,746
God will find a solution
1497
02:07:50,539 --> 02:07:57,254
I agree
belief in God gives hope,
1498
02:07:58,589 --> 02:08:02,760
the strength to face ordeals
1499
02:08:04,011 --> 02:08:06,430
But I have one question
1500
02:08:09,475 --> 02:08:12,394
Which God shall I believe in?
1501
02:08:13,395 --> 02:08:16,649
You say there is ONE God
1502
02:08:17,608 --> 02:08:19,526
I say no
1503
02:08:20,569 --> 02:08:22,071
There are TWO Gods
1504
02:08:23,614 --> 02:08:25,741
One who created us
1505
02:08:27,493 --> 02:08:31,205
And the other
whom you created
1506
02:08:32,164 --> 02:08:35,376
We know nothing about
the God who made us
1507
02:08:35,918 --> 02:08:40,547
But the God YOU made up,
is just like you
1508
02:08:40,964 --> 02:08:45,427
Petty.
Takes bribes, makes false promises
1509
02:08:45,636 --> 02:08:49,640
Readily meets the rich,
keeps the poor waiting
1510
02:08:50,057 --> 02:08:53,394
Thrives on flattery.
Makes you live in fear
1511
02:08:55,437 --> 02:08:57,690
My Right Number is simple
1512
02:08:59,233 --> 02:09:03,946
The God who created us all,
believe in Him
1513
02:09:05,447 --> 02:09:08,784
The God YOU created -
1514
02:09:09,743 --> 02:09:11,912
abolish him
1515
02:09:12,287 --> 02:09:13,580
Yes!
1516
02:09:14,123 --> 02:09:18,085
You'll abolish my God
and I'll keep quiet?
1517
02:09:18,460 --> 02:09:22,464
I know how to
protect my God
1518
02:09:22,756 --> 02:09:24,550
You will protect God?
1519
02:09:25,300 --> 02:09:27,136
You!
1520
02:09:27,428 --> 02:09:29,096
This is a puny planet
1521
02:09:29,847 --> 02:09:32,683
Billions of bigger planets
float in space
1522
02:09:32,975 --> 02:09:37,688
And you, sitting in a tiny corner of this
puny planet, have the nerve to say
1523
02:09:37,980 --> 02:09:41,567
you will protect Him,
who created the Universe?
1524
02:09:42,693 --> 02:09:47,364
He doesn't need your protection.
He can protect Himself
1525
02:09:50,993 --> 02:09:56,373
Today someone tried to
protect God and my friend died
1526
02:09:57,374 --> 02:10:00,127
This is all that's left-
his shoe
1527
02:10:00,794 --> 02:10:03,088
Stop protecting God
1528
02:10:03,672 --> 02:10:07,092
Or this planet will have
no humans, only shoes
1529
02:10:07,426 --> 02:10:09,803
A Muslim terrorist
blows up a train
1530
02:10:10,721 --> 02:10:16,101
and a Hindu guru endures
your sermon. That's nice
1531
02:10:16,393 --> 02:10:21,273
What's this Hindu, Muslim?
Show me the label
1532
02:10:22,441 --> 02:10:25,235
You created these differences.
Not God
1533
02:10:25,986 --> 02:10:31,909
This is the deadliest
Wrong Number of this planet
1534
02:10:32,201 --> 02:10:34,787
It kills people,
separates them
1535
02:10:35,287 --> 02:10:40,167
Like your Wrong Number
separated Jaggu from Sarfaraz
1536
02:10:40,375 --> 02:10:46,340
- What Wrong Number?
- That Sarfaraz will betray
1537
02:10:46,673 --> 02:10:49,176
He did betray her
1538
02:10:49,384 --> 02:10:53,764
- What's going on?
- Hold it
1539
02:10:55,808 --> 02:11:02,940
You say my prediction
about Sarfaraz was wrong?
1540
02:11:03,232 --> 02:11:04,483
Exactly!
1541
02:11:04,483 --> 02:11:08,612
Then prove it-
prove my prophecy wrong!
1542
02:11:08,821 --> 02:11:13,283
Failing that,
fall at my feet and admit
1543
02:11:13,534 --> 02:11:17,371
that you are a liar.
You tried to defame me
1544
02:11:18,163 --> 02:11:20,207
What if I prove it?
1545
02:11:20,499 --> 02:11:22,251
Tipsy... don't!
1546
02:11:28,257 --> 02:11:29,925
Then this is yours
1547
02:11:35,973 --> 02:11:37,474
I accept
1548
02:11:38,016 --> 02:11:42,688
Turn the cameras towards
Jagat Janani
1549
02:11:48,944 --> 02:11:55,534
I hope you will answer
my questions truthfully
1550
02:11:58,036 --> 02:12:03,083
In Belgium you fell in love
with a Pakistani boy
1551
02:12:04,543 --> 02:12:05,752
True or false?
1552
02:12:06,169 --> 02:12:08,380
Please spare my personal life
1553
02:12:08,589 --> 02:12:17,139
On Friday, at 3:21 pm
I predicted this boy will betray you
1554
02:12:17,556 --> 02:12:21,935
The next day you went to the
Marriage Registrar's office
1555
02:12:22,436 --> 02:12:24,146
but he didn't show up
1556
02:12:24,730 --> 02:12:27,107
True or false?
1557
02:12:27,316 --> 02:12:30,485
Yes, he didn't come.
Please stop this
1558
02:12:31,987 --> 02:12:38,160
Now will you come to my feet
or do I walk my feet to you?
1559
02:12:38,493 --> 02:12:42,456
- Sarfaraz did not betray.
- Please let it go!
1560
02:12:42,456 --> 02:12:45,042
No. Tell us
what happened that day
1561
02:12:45,375 --> 02:12:46,668
Please!
1562
02:12:46,960 --> 02:12:50,422
Just once,
for my sake
1563
02:12:55,385 --> 02:12:58,388
I was at the Marriage
Registrar's office and
1564
02:12:58,847 --> 02:13:00,724
a letter was brought to me
1565
02:13:00,724 --> 02:13:02,935
Did Sarfaraz bring it?
1566
02:13:04,937 --> 02:13:08,982
No.
He sent it through a kid
1567
02:13:09,274 --> 02:13:12,152
- Was it signed?
- No
1568
02:13:12,402 --> 02:13:16,198
How do you know
Sarfaraz sent it?
1569
02:13:19,326 --> 02:13:23,455
It could have been
for some other girl
1570
02:13:26,166 --> 02:13:30,754
There was another girl.
With a cat, right?
1571
02:13:32,714 --> 02:13:36,677
She gave you the cat
to hold for a while
1572
02:13:37,678 --> 02:13:41,348
The kid who gave you the letter-
did he know you?
1573
02:13:41,598 --> 02:13:44,351
- No!
- Did you know him?
1574
02:13:44,935 --> 02:13:45,769
No
1575
02:13:45,936 --> 02:13:49,523
Then how would he know
the letter was for you?
1576
02:13:50,816 --> 02:13:57,406
Maybe he was told to give
the letter to the girl with the cat
1577
02:13:59,616 --> 02:14:06,039
You read the letter,
but didn't call Sarfaraz
1578
02:14:06,581 --> 02:14:08,875
Did you?
1579
02:14:09,626 --> 02:14:16,800
Because this man planted
a Wrong Number - that Muslims betray
1580
02:14:17,217 --> 02:14:19,386
Sarfaraz didn't betray you
1581
02:14:19,594 --> 02:14:20,929
What's going on?
1582
02:14:21,430 --> 02:14:26,435
You expect us to believe
these cat and bull stories?
1583
02:14:26,435 --> 02:14:27,728
One minute
1584
02:14:28,186 --> 02:14:32,190
We'll get to the truth right now.
Call Sarfaraz
1585
02:14:32,441 --> 02:14:34,568
Hurry UP!
1586
02:14:36,737 --> 02:14:40,240
This number does not exist
1587
02:14:41,116 --> 02:14:44,327
Any other number?
Friend, college, something?
1588
02:14:44,619 --> 02:14:47,664
- C'mon Jaggu!
- Belgium University
1589
02:14:52,252 --> 02:14:54,129
- Hello.
- Hello!
1590
02:14:54,129 --> 02:14:58,133
I actually need to get in touch with
one of your grad students
1591
02:14:58,383 --> 02:14:59,926
Sarfaraz Yousuf
1592
02:15:00,093 --> 02:15:02,345
Oh yeah.
He left for Pakistan last year
1593
02:15:03,388 --> 02:15:05,015
Has he left a number?
1594
02:15:05,015 --> 02:15:07,601
Sorry, we are not authorized
to give out information
1595
02:15:07,934 --> 02:15:09,644
This is really important
1596
02:15:09,644 --> 02:15:12,439
E-mail us your request and
I can forward it to Student Affairs
1597
02:15:12,814 --> 02:15:14,191
Have a nice day dear
1598
02:15:14,441 --> 02:15:16,401
His Pakistan number?
1599
02:15:16,401 --> 02:15:19,446
- Don't know.
- Think, Jaggu darling
1600
02:15:20,405 --> 02:15:22,908
I work at the
Pakistan Embassy
1601
02:15:23,408 --> 02:15:26,036
His job -
Pakistan Embassy, Belgium
1602
02:15:26,703 --> 02:15:29,081
Mitu, call the Pakistan Embassy,
Belgium
1603
02:15:29,081 --> 02:15:31,333
- Copy sir.
- Put it on the speakers
1604
02:15:34,711 --> 02:15:36,546
Greetings.
Pakistan Embassy
1605
02:15:37,255 --> 02:15:38,673
Hello
1606
02:15:40,300 --> 02:15:43,386
A student from Lahore
worked with you
1607
02:15:43,720 --> 02:15:47,432
- Sarfaraz Yousuf.
- ls your name Jaggu?
1608
02:15:50,227 --> 02:15:52,562
Hello... is your name Jaggu?
1609
02:15:53,105 --> 02:15:54,689
How do you know?
1610
02:15:55,148 --> 02:15:58,819
She's called!
The girl from Delhi has called
1611
02:15:58,985 --> 02:16:00,779
Farah, it's Jaggu calling
1612
02:16:00,779 --> 02:16:04,366
Mr Sayyed, hurry,
it's Jaggu's call from India
1613
02:16:04,699 --> 02:16:07,202
On the double everyone!
1614
02:16:09,955 --> 02:16:15,669
Sarfaraz Yousuf calls us
from Lahore, every day at 9 am
1615
02:16:16,628 --> 02:16:20,715
And with impeccable politeness
asks just one question:
1616
02:16:21,133 --> 02:16:25,887
Was there a call for me
from India - from Jaggu?
1617
02:16:26,179 --> 02:16:29,182
We say "No",
and he disconnects
1618
02:16:29,516 --> 02:16:31,351
He's driven us crazy
1619
02:16:31,685 --> 02:16:34,271
Wait.
I'll connect you to him
1620
02:16:49,578 --> 02:16:50,662
Hello...
1621
02:16:51,621 --> 02:16:54,875
- Mr Sarfaraz Yousuf?
- Yes, speaking
1622
02:16:55,250 --> 02:16:59,087
- Where are you?
- In Lahore. Why?
1623
02:16:59,504 --> 02:17:04,467
- Where are you right now?
- At home. Why?
1624
02:17:05,051 --> 02:17:08,763
Is there a chair or
a bench nearby?
1625
02:17:09,181 --> 02:17:13,393
Please sit down.
You're about to get a jolt
1626
02:17:14,686 --> 02:17:16,646
Pardon me?
1627
02:17:18,273 --> 02:17:20,483
You have a call from Delhi
1628
02:17:26,406 --> 02:17:28,992
Please speak here
1629
02:17:29,534 --> 02:17:31,745
Hello...
1630
02:17:32,662 --> 02:17:35,373
Sarfaraz...
1631
02:17:38,752 --> 02:17:40,378
Jaggu...
1632
02:17:42,422 --> 02:17:43,924
Hello...
1633
02:17:45,133 --> 02:17:48,261
...hello Jaggu,
what's the matter?
1634
02:17:50,138 --> 02:17:52,557
Had you come to the
Marriage Registrar's office?
1635
02:17:52,557 --> 02:17:56,353
I had,
but you had left
1636
02:17:57,270 --> 02:17:58,980
Why didn't you call?
1637
02:17:59,314 --> 02:18:04,569
I got your letter.
You'd said, 'Don't contact me'
1638
02:18:05,528 --> 02:18:08,031
I knew you were
under family pressure
1639
02:18:08,281 --> 02:18:14,579
But deep down I knew,
one day you would contact me
1640
02:18:17,082 --> 02:18:20,418
What took you so long?
1641
02:18:21,378 --> 02:18:25,674
I am sorry.
I had your Wrong Number
1642
02:18:33,014 --> 02:18:37,519
Just got the right number
from a friend
1643
02:19:03,044 --> 02:19:04,754
Thank you son
1644
02:19:39,581 --> 02:19:41,374
Here, hold this
1645
02:20:05,648 --> 02:20:08,943
Tipsy! You're taking
batteries home?
1646
02:20:09,277 --> 02:20:13,948
- Don't get them there.
- So many! For what?
1647
02:20:14,282 --> 02:20:18,119
Back home, I'll listen
to the sounds I've recorded
1648
02:20:18,411 --> 02:20:19,704
What sounds?
1649
02:20:20,080 --> 02:20:24,417
Earth sounds -
crows, traffic honking
1650
02:20:24,626 --> 02:20:26,961
Up there, you'll listen
to cars honking?
1651
02:20:27,295 --> 02:20:32,175
Now and then -
when I miss this planet
1652
02:20:34,511 --> 02:20:38,014
Hey, wait!
There's one more bag
1653
02:20:38,181 --> 02:20:39,766
Forget it, Tipsy!
1654
02:20:39,766 --> 02:20:43,436
You kidding?
It's stuffed with batteries
1655
02:20:43,686 --> 02:20:46,064
Wait!
1656
02:20:49,109 --> 02:20:52,404
Driver... please stop!
1657
02:21:06,126 --> 02:21:09,879
Everyone on your planet
has stick-out ears?
1658
02:21:11,131 --> 02:21:14,259
And they roam around naked?
1659
02:21:15,760 --> 02:21:18,721
Why are you staring?
Something on my face?
1660
02:21:22,934 --> 02:21:28,356
I was in tenth grade,
when I wrote my first poem,
1661
02:21:30,024 --> 02:21:31,818
for Papa
1662
02:21:32,944 --> 02:21:38,283
They say my Mom I resemble.
I say possible...
1663
02:21:45,665 --> 02:21:49,419
Poetry means
sparse words, soaring thoughts
1664
02:21:52,046 --> 02:21:53,923
Pal, you're really cute
1665
02:21:55,717 --> 02:21:59,179
Here's to the
teetotaler called Tipsy
1666
02:22:00,096 --> 02:22:03,975
Who says
"What's in a name?"
1667
02:22:05,185 --> 02:22:09,189
No tape had sounds of
crows or traffic honking
1668
02:22:09,981 --> 02:22:13,067
Every tape had
just my voice
1669
02:22:20,783 --> 02:22:22,744
"I love you Jaggu"
1670
02:22:27,290 --> 02:22:28,917
Got it!
1671
02:22:34,297 --> 02:22:36,799
He sure made me run!
1672
02:22:40,053 --> 02:22:43,348
Tipsy, what's in these tapes?
1673
02:22:43,973 --> 02:22:47,018
Told you -
crows, traffic honking
1674
02:22:59,405 --> 02:23:03,785
Every night, when your planet
rises, I'll play these tapes
1675
02:23:05,078 --> 02:23:10,542
And wave at you.
Like this
1676
02:23:12,752 --> 02:23:16,589
Will you wave back...
now and then?
1677
02:23:18,633 --> 02:23:21,553
Haven't you recorded my voice?
1678
02:23:22,053 --> 02:23:24,514
Your voice?
1679
02:23:24,973 --> 02:23:29,102
I think I have...
that one poem you recited
1680
02:23:30,270 --> 02:23:32,939
One poem? That's it?
1681
02:23:36,025 --> 02:23:38,528
I'm not exactly
in love with you...
1682
02:23:38,987 --> 02:23:41,990
...to waste all my time
over you!
1683
02:24:00,967 --> 02:24:04,137
He didn't look back.
Not once
1684
02:24:04,429 --> 02:24:06,639
He was hiding his tears
1685
02:24:07,557 --> 02:24:12,437
One thing he learnt from us.
One thing he taught us
1686
02:24:12,937 --> 02:24:15,440
He learnt from us
how to lie...
1687
02:24:15,940 --> 02:24:20,069
...and taught us
how to love
1688
02:24:21,029 --> 02:24:23,990
He loved me enough
to let me go
1689
02:24:24,657 --> 02:24:29,954
He came here naked.
As children do
1690
02:24:31,164 --> 02:24:36,919
Asked a lot of questions.
As children do
1691
02:24:39,130 --> 02:24:42,216
And then one day...
1692
02:24:43,676 --> 02:24:46,763
...he went away
1693
02:24:47,597 --> 02:24:52,060
Four billion miles away
1694
02:24:53,394 --> 02:24:57,523
He left me two parting gifts
1695
02:24:59,400 --> 02:25:01,653
Sarfaraz
1696
02:25:02,445 --> 02:25:05,365
and Papa
1697
02:25:07,533 --> 02:25:14,666
Till I live... every night I'll look
at his planet and wave
1698
02:25:16,751 --> 02:25:21,506
I'm sure,
he'll do the same
1699
02:25:24,467 --> 02:25:27,470
I miss him
1700
02:26:06,300 --> 02:26:10,680
Fellow astronauts,
prepare to land on Earth
1701
02:26:10,680 --> 02:26:14,726
Remember the four
Earth Survival Commandments
1702
02:26:15,017 --> 02:26:17,812
One:
Do not roam around naked
1703
02:26:18,187 --> 02:26:23,568
Cuddling, making love etc.
must be done in closed rooms
1704
02:26:23,776 --> 02:26:27,655
But fighting, making war etc.
is allowed in the open
1705
02:26:28,030 --> 02:26:31,826
Two: Beware of language,
it's confusing
1706
02:26:31,826 --> 02:26:35,538
If Earthlings say,
'I love chicken and fish,'
1707
02:26:35,788 --> 02:26:39,333
it doesn't mean
they love animals,
1708
02:26:39,667 --> 02:26:44,046
but that animals are
on the lunch menu
1709
02:26:44,380 --> 02:26:49,135
The gap between thought and
speech is our topic of research
1710
02:26:49,761 --> 02:26:53,473
Three: On landing,
find dancing cars for clothes
1711
02:26:53,473 --> 02:27:00,646
Hide your remotes deep in your
underwear, safe from thieves
1712
02:27:00,980 --> 02:27:04,233
Four: the mother commandment
1713
02:27:04,233 --> 02:27:08,571
If anyone says:
I'll connect you to God,
1714
02:27:08,821 --> 02:27:13,242
dump the research, take a U-turn
and run for your life
1715
02:27:25,713 --> 02:27:28,424
Come, don't be afraid
1716
02:27:33,679 --> 02:27:36,349
What are you goggling at?
1717
02:27:37,141 --> 02:27:39,894
- I have a question.
- What?
1718
02:27:40,978 --> 02:27:45,691
On your last visit,
how often were you whacked?
1719
02:27:53,658 --> 02:27:56,327
- What's this?
- Self-defense!
1720
02:27:56,702 --> 02:27:58,788
Safety gadgets?
1721
02:27:59,121 --> 02:28:02,416
- Let's go.
- Not there! This way
1722
02:28:02,625 --> 02:28:03,793
Kaput!
121922
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