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1
00:00:05,434 --> 00:00:08,534
kate, i got home
as fast as i could.
2
00:00:08,601 --> 00:00:10,067
what's the emergency?
3
00:00:10,133 --> 00:00:11,501
what?
4
00:00:11,567 --> 00:00:12,868
i have this message
from the office.
5
00:00:12,934 --> 00:00:14,467
it told me to get home
as fast as i could.
6
00:00:14,534 --> 00:00:16,767
why, i didn't
leave any message.
7
00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:19,801
you?
8
00:00:19,868 --> 00:00:21,400
i didn't say
"rush home."
9
00:00:21,467 --> 00:00:25,067
i told them to ask you to
"get home as soon as possible."
10
00:00:25,133 --> 00:00:26,734
you said it was
an emergency.
11
00:00:26,801 --> 00:00:29,467
yeah! the tv
set is broken.
12
00:00:29,534 --> 00:00:32,033
what!
13
00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:34,267
it's got audio,
but no video.
14
00:00:34,334 --> 00:00:36,968
my guess is, the
picture tube is shot.
15
00:00:37,033 --> 00:00:41,133
you got me into a panic
to tell me that?
16
00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:45,167
sorry, but i began to panic
when i missed "gumby."
17
00:00:45,234 --> 00:00:50,100
you're going to miss a lot
more than "gumby," buster,
18
00:00:50,167 --> 00:00:52,934
because that tv set
stays broken.
19
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:55,200
what? willie,
i'm a shut-in.
20
00:00:55,267 --> 00:00:57,067
tv is my lifeline.
21
00:00:57,133 --> 00:00:59,200
i just pulled
the plug on it.
22
00:00:59,267 --> 00:01:02,734
apparently, it was
a mistake to call you.
23
00:01:02,801 --> 00:01:06,434
we watch too much tv
in this house, anyway.
24
00:01:06,501 --> 00:01:08,801
this will be a good chance
to talk, to read,
25
00:01:08,868 --> 00:01:10,834
to catch up
on some chores--
26
00:01:10,901 --> 00:01:15,133
super. welcome to
"little house on the prairie."
27
00:01:18,100 --> 00:01:22,167
**
28
00:02:10,934 --> 00:02:13,868
yo, lynn!
need some help
with the homework?
29
00:02:13,934 --> 00:02:16,367
thanks, but it's
american history.
30
00:02:16,434 --> 00:02:18,367
pre-civil war?
yep.
31
00:02:18,434 --> 00:02:20,434
not my area.
32
00:02:24,501 --> 00:02:26,200
catching up
on your reading?
33
00:02:26,267 --> 00:02:29,000
isn't it refreshing,
having no tv?
34
00:02:29,067 --> 00:02:31,234
yeah,
invigorating.
35
00:02:31,300 --> 00:02:34,067
i assume you have no plans
to get it repaired?
36
00:02:34,133 --> 00:02:35,934
no immediate plans.
37
00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:39,167
fine. i'll leave it
tuned to "oral roberts".
38
00:02:39,234 --> 00:02:41,300
maybe it'll
heal itself.
39
00:02:43,534 --> 00:02:44,934
dad, i need
some help.
40
00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:47,701
i have to make a project
for the science carnival.
41
00:02:47,767 --> 00:02:49,968
is that anything
like a science fair?
42
00:02:50,033 --> 00:02:52,367
yeah, only
this has clowns.
43
00:02:52,434 --> 00:02:54,000
well, what's the
problem, brian?
44
00:02:54,067 --> 00:02:55,801
i don't know
what to make.
45
00:02:55,868 --> 00:03:00,100
no problem. on melmac,
i was known as "mr. science."
46
00:03:00,167 --> 00:03:04,133
why can't "mr. science" fix
his own spaceship, then?
47
00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:08,133
because "mr. science"
isn't good with tools.
48
00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:10,434
that's why i dropped
out of dental school.
49
00:03:10,501 --> 00:03:12,634
you went to
dental school?
50
00:03:12,701 --> 00:03:15,767
it was the easiest thing
i could think of.
51
00:03:15,834 --> 00:03:18,200
we only have
4 teeth.
52
00:03:19,734 --> 00:03:21,300
what can we
make, alf?
53
00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:25,601
an electric
sandwich caddy.
54
00:03:25,667 --> 00:03:30,400
a machine that brings
you your sandwich?
55
00:03:30,467 --> 00:03:34,701
no, a sandwich that hands
you your golf clubs.
56
00:03:34,767 --> 00:03:36,934
that's a much
better idea.
57
00:03:37,033 --> 00:03:38,767
better than
a rain gauge.
58
00:03:38,834 --> 00:03:41,033
how do you know about
the rain gauge? lynn?
59
00:03:41,100 --> 00:03:43,501
i'm sorry, dad.
he found it in my closet.
60
00:03:43,567 --> 00:03:46,133
nifty piece
of work, too.
61
00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:47,934
i tried it out
last month,
62
00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:52,100
and we experienced
16 feet of rain.
63
00:03:52,167 --> 00:03:54,667
there's no need for you
to insult my rain gauge.
64
00:03:54,734 --> 00:03:58,601
meteorology is a very
fascinating branch of science.
65
00:03:58,667 --> 00:04:00,767
so is taxidermy.
66
00:04:00,834 --> 00:04:03,734
which brings me to
my next suggestion:
67
00:04:03,801 --> 00:04:06,334
let's stuff lucky.
68
00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:09,567
i think i'll work on
my science project alone.
69
00:04:09,634 --> 00:04:11,167
thanks, anyway.
70
00:04:13,467 --> 00:04:17,901
you see what happens
when you're a "butt-inski"?
71
00:04:17,968 --> 00:04:20,501
perhaps, if the
tv were working,
72
00:04:20,567 --> 00:04:22,400
i wouldn't be
a "butt-inski."
73
00:04:22,467 --> 00:04:26,033
i doubt that.
nice try, though.
74
00:04:28,334 --> 00:04:30,601
mind if i read
over your shoulder?
75
00:04:37,434 --> 00:04:39,467
tv is still on
the fritz, i see.
76
00:04:39,534 --> 00:04:41,834
still broken, if
that's what you mean.
77
00:04:41,901 --> 00:04:43,434
here's a petition,
78
00:04:43,501 --> 00:04:46,100
signed by every
member of this family.
79
00:04:46,167 --> 00:04:48,567
it states that
by hurting me,
80
00:04:48,634 --> 00:04:50,200
you're hurting
others...
81
00:04:50,267 --> 00:04:52,534
and ultimately,
hurting yourself.
82
00:04:55,634 --> 00:04:59,334
alf, you signed
all these names.
83
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:02,767
yes, by proxy.
84
00:05:06,567 --> 00:05:08,133
alf, i already said
you could use...
85
00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:09,934
the portable tv
in the bedroom.
86
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,567
it's too small.
87
00:05:11,634 --> 00:05:14,634
it makes everyone
look like danny devito.
88
00:05:14,701 --> 00:05:16,567
for your information,
89
00:05:16,634 --> 00:05:19,300
i'm sending the tv
back to the factory.
90
00:05:19,367 --> 00:05:22,934
the factory? why don't
you just call a repairman?
91
00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:26,200
because it's still
under warranty.
92
00:05:26,267 --> 00:05:27,834
how long is it
going to take?
93
00:05:27,901 --> 00:05:28,968
where is
the factory?
94
00:05:29,033 --> 00:05:34,367
the factory is
in-- libya.
95
00:05:34,434 --> 00:05:38,501
this looks like a job for,
eh-eh-eh,
96
00:05:38,567 --> 00:05:40,267
"consumer ed."
97
00:05:40,334 --> 00:05:41,868
"consumer ed"?
98
00:05:41,934 --> 00:05:43,467
the guy
on the news...
99
00:05:43,534 --> 00:05:46,100
who fights for people
being ripped off.
100
00:05:46,167 --> 00:05:48,734
last week, he helped
a woman in oxnard...
101
00:05:48,801 --> 00:05:50,400
sue a soup company,
102
00:05:50,467 --> 00:05:53,300
after she found a mouse
head in her minestrone.
103
00:05:53,367 --> 00:05:54,567
alf!
104
00:05:54,634 --> 00:05:57,667
the company said
it was a garbanzo bean--
105
00:05:57,734 --> 00:05:59,534
alf, please.
106
00:05:59,601 --> 00:06:01,267
it turned out
to be a finger.
107
00:06:03,567 --> 00:06:04,634
excuse me.
108
00:06:04,701 --> 00:06:06,367
what's wrong?
109
00:06:06,434 --> 00:06:10,100
"consumer ed" got the lady
a year's supply of minestrone.
110
00:06:10,167 --> 00:06:11,501
enough!
111
00:06:11,567 --> 00:06:13,100
i'll give
the guy a call.
112
00:06:13,167 --> 00:06:14,767
just stay
out of this.
113
00:06:14,834 --> 00:06:16,567
come on, brian.
show them.
114
00:06:16,634 --> 00:06:17,801
look at brian's
science project.
115
00:06:17,868 --> 00:06:18,901
it's really good.
116
00:06:18,968 --> 00:06:21,000
and i made it
without any help.
117
00:06:21,067 --> 00:06:24,300
hey, nice job.
118
00:06:24,367 --> 00:06:26,701
what is it?
street lights?
119
00:06:26,767 --> 00:06:29,901
i thought they called
you "mr. science"?
120
00:06:29,968 --> 00:06:31,334
it's a molecule.
121
00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:33,400
it's the solar system.
122
00:06:33,467 --> 00:06:35,901
it's the solar system.
123
00:06:35,968 --> 00:06:37,000
whose solar system?
124
00:06:37,067 --> 00:06:38,801
ours.
125
00:06:38,868 --> 00:06:41,901
you forgot the
2 planets next to pluto.
126
00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:45,434
let me guess:
"mickey" and "donald"?
127
00:06:45,501 --> 00:06:49,167
sure, turn it
into a travesty.
128
00:06:49,234 --> 00:06:51,934
their names are
"dave" and "alvin."
129
00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:53,033
really?
130
00:06:53,100 --> 00:06:55,133
no, brian,
alf's only kidding.
131
00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:57,234
i'm not kidding.
132
00:06:57,300 --> 00:06:59,567
i almost hit "alvin"
on my approach to earth;
133
00:06:59,634 --> 00:07:02,033
it's a sharp turn.
134
00:07:02,100 --> 00:07:03,634
where'd they
be on here?
135
00:07:03,701 --> 00:07:05,501
brian, they're
not on here.
136
00:07:05,567 --> 00:07:06,601
they're not
anywhere.
137
00:07:06,667 --> 00:07:08,667
alf, tell him
the truth.
138
00:07:08,734 --> 00:07:12,434
the truth is, brian,
they're right over here.
139
00:07:12,501 --> 00:07:14,467
dad, can i add
"alvin" and "dave"?
140
00:07:14,534 --> 00:07:17,434
no, i don't think
that's a good idea.
141
00:07:17,501 --> 00:07:18,801
but if you
don't add them,
142
00:07:18,868 --> 00:07:20,968
you're
perpetuating lies!
143
00:07:21,033 --> 00:07:23,400
what if galileo
had listened...
144
00:07:23,467 --> 00:07:26,934
when they told him he couldn't
sail around the world?
145
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:29,467
galileo didn't sail
around the world.
146
00:07:29,534 --> 00:07:32,300
oh, like you
were there.
147
00:07:36,267 --> 00:07:39,200
hey, b., how was
school today?
148
00:07:39,267 --> 00:07:41,300
i failed my
science project.
149
00:07:41,367 --> 00:07:44,734
you should've added
"alvin" and "dave."
150
00:07:44,801 --> 00:07:47,501
- i did.
- and you still failed?
151
00:07:47,567 --> 00:07:48,868
that's why i failed.
152
00:07:48,934 --> 00:07:50,934
i added them
because i believed you,
153
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:54,234
- but all my friends
laughed at me.
- they did?
154
00:07:54,300 --> 00:07:58,501
my teacher won't let my project
be in the science carnival.
155
00:07:58,567 --> 00:08:00,300
it's all your fault.
156
00:08:00,367 --> 00:08:02,067
my fault?
157
00:08:02,133 --> 00:08:03,400
you lied to me.
158
00:08:03,467 --> 00:08:06,200
there really aren't
11 planets, are there?
159
00:08:06,267 --> 00:08:08,667
yes, there are,
brian!
160
00:08:08,734 --> 00:08:11,701
your teacher is the one
who needs an education.
161
00:08:11,767 --> 00:08:14,167
now i'm mad.
162
00:08:14,234 --> 00:08:16,601
i'm mad.
i'm mad.
163
00:08:19,067 --> 00:08:20,701
hello, information?
164
00:08:20,767 --> 00:08:23,234
get me brian's teacher.
165
00:08:23,300 --> 00:08:24,400
oh, wait a minute.
166
00:08:24,467 --> 00:08:28,567
get me the "franklin
elementary school."
167
00:08:28,634 --> 00:08:31,067
i know it's cheaper
to use a directory,
168
00:08:31,133 --> 00:08:34,000
but i don't have
any thumbs!
169
00:08:34,067 --> 00:08:36,934
well, you should
be sorry!
170
00:08:46,434 --> 00:08:48,133
where is
everybody?
171
00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:50,734
they've gone
to the movies.
172
00:08:50,801 --> 00:08:52,367
why didn't you go?
173
00:08:52,434 --> 00:08:54,801
i'm fixing
the tv.
174
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:56,601
now?
175
00:08:56,667 --> 00:08:57,667
yes.
176
00:08:57,734 --> 00:09:00,133
i'm going out
a little later,
177
00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:04,334
and it's dangerous to leave
you alone with nothing to do.
178
00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:07,834
are you referring to
that chemical spill?
179
00:09:07,901 --> 00:09:09,501
chemical spill?
180
00:09:09,567 --> 00:09:12,367
what chemical
spill?
181
00:09:12,434 --> 00:09:14,000
nothing.
182
00:09:14,067 --> 00:09:16,200
willie, how about a game
of "trivial pursuit"?
183
00:09:16,267 --> 00:09:19,601
i promise not to pick
any science questions.
184
00:09:19,667 --> 00:09:21,467
no, thanks.
185
00:09:21,534 --> 00:09:26,067
you should leave this
for a qualified repairman.
186
00:09:26,133 --> 00:09:27,934
well, mr. smarty--
187
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:30,167
it's "mr. science."
188
00:09:30,234 --> 00:09:31,901
for your information,
189
00:09:31,968 --> 00:09:34,133
i've located
the problem:
190
00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:39,234
there's no power going into
the high-voltage transformer.
191
00:09:39,300 --> 00:09:41,234
hey, you want power?
192
00:09:41,300 --> 00:09:42,567
that would help.
193
00:09:42,634 --> 00:09:44,367
your call.
194
00:09:46,634 --> 00:09:48,501
[ka-woom]
195
00:09:49,901 --> 00:09:53,100
willie, it was
an accident.
196
00:09:53,167 --> 00:09:55,000
an accident?
197
00:09:55,067 --> 00:09:58,901
an accident!
you almost killed me,
198
00:09:58,968 --> 00:10:01,367
and you say
it was an accident?
199
00:10:02,767 --> 00:10:04,868
all right, let's
call it a mistake.
200
00:10:04,934 --> 00:10:06,734
[ doorbell rings ]
201
00:10:06,801 --> 00:10:07,868
you want to
get that?
202
00:10:07,934 --> 00:10:09,667
it's probably
"consumer ed."
203
00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:14,434
you called "consumer ed"
after i said not to?
204
00:10:14,501 --> 00:10:15,801
you didn't
say "not to,"
205
00:10:15,868 --> 00:10:18,133
you said
"stay out of this."
206
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:19,968
you should've been
more specific.
207
00:10:20,033 --> 00:10:23,200
i hope it is
"consumer ed,"
208
00:10:23,267 --> 00:10:26,200
because i'm turning
you over to him.
209
00:10:26,267 --> 00:10:31,167
won't that be a great story
for the 6:00 news?
210
00:10:31,234 --> 00:10:34,434
i think i left
the oven on.
211
00:10:34,501 --> 00:10:35,667
yeah?
212
00:10:38,868 --> 00:10:39,701
mr. tanner?
213
00:10:39,767 --> 00:10:41,567
yeah?
214
00:10:41,634 --> 00:10:45,300
i'm mrs. lyman,
brian's principal.
215
00:10:45,367 --> 00:10:48,234
oh, hi.
216
00:10:48,300 --> 00:10:50,367
come in, won't
you? please.
217
00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:55,467
am i interrupting
something?
218
00:10:55,534 --> 00:10:57,234
no, no.
219
00:10:57,300 --> 00:11:00,200
i'm sorry to drop in
on you like this,
220
00:11:00,267 --> 00:11:02,501
but your house
is on my way home,
221
00:11:02,567 --> 00:11:05,167
and i did want to clear up that
little misunderstanding...
222
00:11:05,234 --> 00:11:07,167
between you
and ms. larva.
223
00:11:07,234 --> 00:11:09,200
ms. larva?
224
00:11:09,267 --> 00:11:10,601
brian's teacher.
225
00:11:10,667 --> 00:11:13,567
oh, ms. larva.
226
00:11:13,634 --> 00:11:15,634
you called her
this afternoon.
227
00:11:15,701 --> 00:11:18,801
no, i'm sorry,
i didn't call...
228
00:11:18,868 --> 00:11:21,167
ms. larva this afternoon.
229
00:11:21,234 --> 00:11:23,133
is mrs. tanner home?
230
00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:25,267
no, i'm alone here.
231
00:11:27,100 --> 00:11:28,567
gee, that's odd.
232
00:11:28,634 --> 00:11:30,601
i heard you yelling
at someone,
233
00:11:30,667 --> 00:11:32,434
just before i
rang the doorbell.
234
00:11:32,501 --> 00:11:34,767
oh, that was
probably the tv.
235
00:11:37,834 --> 00:11:41,467
i don't mean
actually the tv.
236
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:44,601
i was yelling at the tv
because it's broken.
237
00:11:44,667 --> 00:11:47,300
i always yell at the
tv when it's broken.
238
00:11:47,367 --> 00:11:50,200
ha ha!
239
00:11:50,267 --> 00:11:52,367
we could talk
some other time,
240
00:11:52,434 --> 00:11:54,300
maybe with a
social worker.
no!
241
00:11:54,367 --> 00:11:55,834
i mean, no.
please, no.
242
00:11:55,901 --> 00:11:57,067
come in,
won't you?
243
00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:59,801
sit down.
let's talk.
244
00:11:59,868 --> 00:12:01,634
this is about my
phone call, isn't it?
245
00:12:01,701 --> 00:12:03,801
sit, sit.
i remember now.
246
00:12:03,868 --> 00:12:07,567
of course,
i remember.
247
00:12:07,634 --> 00:12:09,634
what did i say?
248
00:12:09,701 --> 00:12:11,834
you don't remember?
249
00:12:11,901 --> 00:12:14,634
i don't.
please, forgive me.
250
00:12:14,701 --> 00:12:16,701
my head just exploded.
251
00:12:16,767 --> 00:12:22,133
i mean, the tv exploded
and it was on my head.
252
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:25,901
well, you threatened to
remove brian from school,
253
00:12:25,968 --> 00:12:28,300
you questioned the
credentials of his teacher...
254
00:12:28,367 --> 00:12:29,968
and you refused
to ask him to remove...
255
00:12:30,033 --> 00:12:32,300
the 2 extra planets
from his project.
256
00:12:32,367 --> 00:12:35,701
the 2 extra planets?
257
00:12:35,767 --> 00:12:40,868
yes. on one of which you
"stopped to use the rest room."
258
00:12:40,934 --> 00:12:45,734
could you excuse me,
just for a moment?
259
00:12:45,801 --> 00:12:48,501
oh, certainly.
260
00:12:58,367 --> 00:12:59,634
what do you think?
261
00:13:03,767 --> 00:13:04,934
i'll get--
262
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:09,100
i'll get right
to the point.
263
00:13:09,167 --> 00:13:10,367
you told brian...
264
00:13:10,434 --> 00:13:12,467
to add those 2 extra
planets to his model?
265
00:13:12,534 --> 00:13:13,467
no, i didn't.
266
00:13:13,534 --> 00:13:14,634
he did it
on his own.
267
00:13:14,701 --> 00:13:15,801
didn't you--
268
00:13:15,868 --> 00:13:18,834
i'll admit i was
indirectly involved.
269
00:13:18,901 --> 00:13:22,467
it was wrong of you to
be involved at all.
270
00:13:22,534 --> 00:13:24,701
but i took
care of it.
271
00:13:24,767 --> 00:13:27,501
i called his teacher
and set her straight.
272
00:13:27,567 --> 00:13:28,968
so i heard.
273
00:13:29,033 --> 00:13:30,434
now the principal
is here,
274
00:13:30,501 --> 00:13:33,334
and it's all because of
your ridiculous stories.
275
00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:35,767
ridiculous? ha!
276
00:13:35,834 --> 00:13:37,100
you're going to feel
a little silly...
277
00:13:37,167 --> 00:13:38,634
when i tell you this,
278
00:13:38,701 --> 00:13:42,200
but i called the mount
palomar observatory today,
279
00:13:42,267 --> 00:13:46,133
and they have no knowledge
of the planet "alvin."
280
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:47,367
how surprising.
281
00:13:47,434 --> 00:13:50,968
they do, however,
know of "dave";
282
00:13:51,033 --> 00:13:54,267
only they call
him "chiron."
283
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:55,100
"chiron"?
284
00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:57,801
"object kowal"?
285
00:13:57,868 --> 00:14:00,801
willie?
snap out of it.
286
00:14:00,868 --> 00:14:04,367
no, alf!
in the late '70s...
287
00:14:04,434 --> 00:14:07,167
an object was
spotted in space,
288
00:14:07,234 --> 00:14:09,734
originally called
"object kowal".
289
00:14:09,801 --> 00:14:11,868
it was later
named "chiron,"
290
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:13,000
and the
astronomers thought...
291
00:14:13,067 --> 00:14:15,200
that it could be
a tenth planet,
292
00:14:15,267 --> 00:14:18,300
somewhere,
just beyond pluto.
293
00:14:18,367 --> 00:14:21,133
somewhere? i'll
show you exactly where.
294
00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:23,133
what's this?
295
00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:25,534
"rand-mcnally
guide to the stars."
296
00:14:25,601 --> 00:14:28,334
i keep it in my
glove compartment.
297
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:31,167
this is
incredible!
298
00:14:31,234 --> 00:14:33,601
you have a guide
to the galaxy.
299
00:14:33,667 --> 00:14:35,400
well, it's
3 years old.
300
00:14:35,467 --> 00:14:38,200
a few of the stars
have exploded.
301
00:14:38,267 --> 00:14:42,834
now let's see.
"dave"-- g6.
302
00:14:42,901 --> 00:14:46,901
"mileage between cities"?
melmac, san francisco--
303
00:14:46,968 --> 00:14:48,667
oh, here it is:
"dave". right here.
304
00:14:48,734 --> 00:14:49,834
"dave"?
305
00:14:49,901 --> 00:14:52,367
and there's
"alvin."
306
00:14:52,434 --> 00:14:54,534
what's that
little one?
307
00:14:54,601 --> 00:14:56,033
"alvin heights."
308
00:14:56,100 --> 00:14:59,801
alf, you weren't
making this up.
309
00:14:59,868 --> 00:15:02,834
i owe you
an apology.
310
00:15:05,100 --> 00:15:06,467
i'm waiting.
311
00:15:06,534 --> 00:15:09,300
so is mrs. lyman.
312
00:15:11,434 --> 00:15:12,934
say, could i get
you anything?
313
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:14,367
no, i'm fine.
314
00:15:14,434 --> 00:15:17,634
oh, wax lips.
315
00:15:21,267 --> 00:15:22,534
i have 2
questions for you.
316
00:15:22,601 --> 00:15:23,534
yeah?
317
00:15:23,601 --> 00:15:26,367
first, can i have
my lips back?
318
00:15:26,434 --> 00:15:28,267
thanks.
319
00:15:28,334 --> 00:15:30,033
and second, are you
going to tell her...
320
00:15:30,100 --> 00:15:32,767
the truth about
the planets?
321
00:15:32,834 --> 00:15:34,234
i don't think
i can.
322
00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:37,167
why not?
show her the map.
323
00:15:37,234 --> 00:15:39,701
oh, good idea.
when she asks us...
324
00:15:39,767 --> 00:15:42,534
where we got it,
then where will we be?
325
00:15:42,601 --> 00:15:43,968
all right,
all right.
326
00:15:44,033 --> 00:15:45,601
so you can't
show her the map.
327
00:15:45,667 --> 00:15:48,200
but just because
you don't have any proof,
328
00:15:48,267 --> 00:15:50,000
that ends it?
329
00:15:50,067 --> 00:15:52,167
i mean,
what's with this planet?
330
00:15:52,234 --> 00:15:55,000
here's a chance
to open people's minds.
331
00:15:55,067 --> 00:15:56,734
where are the
free thinkers?
332
00:15:56,801 --> 00:15:58,234
the dreamers?
333
00:15:58,300 --> 00:16:01,100
i don't know;
334
00:16:01,167 --> 00:16:04,267
but apparently not
in brian's school.
335
00:16:04,334 --> 00:16:08,067
i'm afraid i just
have to go out there...
336
00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:10,200
and tell her this
has been a big mistake.
337
00:16:10,267 --> 00:16:12,133
in other words,
you're going to lie.
338
00:16:16,067 --> 00:16:18,601
is everything
all right?
339
00:16:18,667 --> 00:16:19,968
yes, i'm sorry...
340
00:16:20,033 --> 00:16:22,000
to have kept you
waiting so long.
341
00:16:22,067 --> 00:16:24,067
mrs. lyman, this
whole thing has been...
342
00:16:24,133 --> 00:16:27,634
a terrible
misunderstanding.
343
00:16:27,701 --> 00:16:30,234
i'm so sorry
it all happened.
344
00:16:30,300 --> 00:16:31,901
so am i.
345
00:16:31,968 --> 00:16:34,300
we've never had any
problems with brian.
346
00:16:34,367 --> 00:16:37,534
this sort of thing upsets
ms. larva very much.
347
00:16:37,601 --> 00:16:42,801
mrs. lyman, what if we just
displayed the project as it is?
348
00:16:42,868 --> 00:16:46,968
i'm sure ms. larva
would be willing...
349
00:16:47,033 --> 00:16:48,767
to meet you halfway.
350
00:16:48,834 --> 00:16:50,334
if brian removed
the extra planets,
351
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:52,200
i'm sure she would let him
compete with his classmates,
352
00:16:52,267 --> 00:16:53,634
and there'd be
no harm done.
353
00:16:53,701 --> 00:16:57,667
yes, there would be.
354
00:16:57,734 --> 00:17:00,467
i can't ask him
to do that.
355
00:17:00,534 --> 00:17:04,467
then i can't ask my teacher
to change her policy.
356
00:17:04,534 --> 00:17:06,200
oh, sure
you could.
357
00:17:06,267 --> 00:17:07,434
all right,
i could.
358
00:17:07,501 --> 00:17:08,767
but i won't.
359
00:17:08,834 --> 00:17:11,868
wait a minute, mrs. lyman,
you're an educator.
360
00:17:11,934 --> 00:17:15,234
surely there's room
in our system...
361
00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:16,501
for free thinking?
362
00:17:16,567 --> 00:17:18,267
where would
science be...
363
00:17:18,334 --> 00:17:19,901
if there weren't
dreamers?
364
00:17:19,968 --> 00:17:21,767
would the wright
brothers have flown?
365
00:17:21,834 --> 00:17:24,067
would galileo have
sailed around the world?
366
00:17:24,133 --> 00:17:26,567
galileo?
367
00:17:26,634 --> 00:17:28,067
oh, never mind.
368
00:17:28,133 --> 00:17:31,367
[ doorbell rings ]
369
00:17:31,434 --> 00:17:32,601
mr. william tanner?
yes.
370
00:17:32,667 --> 00:17:34,767
"consumer ed"
boganski.
371
00:17:34,834 --> 00:17:36,300
let's start with
a wide shot of the room.
372
00:17:36,367 --> 00:17:37,334
no, wait.
373
00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:39,901
look at
that set.
374
00:17:39,968 --> 00:17:41,200
wait, wait.
375
00:17:41,267 --> 00:17:42,901
we'll take
care of it.
376
00:17:42,968 --> 00:17:48,067
hello, i'm at the home
of mr. william tanner,
377
00:17:48,133 --> 00:17:50,934
who, in a desperate
attempt to fight city hall,
378
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:53,534
has summoned me,
"consumer ed,"
to his corner.
379
00:17:53,601 --> 00:17:55,234
stop!
stop!
380
00:17:55,300 --> 00:17:56,601
take it easy.
381
00:17:56,667 --> 00:17:57,868
this will only
take a minute.
382
00:17:57,934 --> 00:17:59,067
there was no need
to involve...
383
00:17:59,133 --> 00:18:00,767
the media
in this dispute.
384
00:18:00,834 --> 00:18:02,734
dispute? ma'am,
why don't you...
385
00:18:02,801 --> 00:18:03,634
give us your
side--
386
00:18:03,701 --> 00:18:04,934
no,
please--
387
00:18:05,033 --> 00:18:07,934
there's really
nothing to talk about.
388
00:18:09,868 --> 00:18:11,934
willie,
what's going on?
389
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:13,834
oh, nothing.
390
00:18:13,901 --> 00:18:14,767
they were
just leaving.
391
00:18:14,834 --> 00:18:15,801
is this
your family?
392
00:18:15,868 --> 00:18:16,968
that's
"consumer ed."
393
00:18:17,033 --> 00:18:18,534
could we just
stop for a minute?
394
00:18:18,601 --> 00:18:20,000
you shouldn't have
called me...
395
00:18:20,067 --> 00:18:22,167
if you didn't want
to talk about your tv.
396
00:18:22,234 --> 00:18:25,534
this is not about
the tv, mr. ed,
397
00:18:25,601 --> 00:18:27,701
this is about
the extra planets.
398
00:18:27,767 --> 00:18:28,968
what extra planets?
399
00:18:31,868 --> 00:18:34,267
the 2 his son claims
exist beyond pluto.
400
00:18:34,334 --> 00:18:36,033
they do exist.
401
00:18:36,100 --> 00:18:38,534
i mean, who's
to say they don't?
402
00:18:38,601 --> 00:18:39,300
is that
your son?
403
00:18:40,767 --> 00:18:42,100
no!
dad!
404
00:18:42,167 --> 00:18:43,634
i mean, yes.
of course he is.
405
00:18:43,701 --> 00:18:45,934
sid, get a shot
of the kid here.
406
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,968
are you putting
this on tv?
407
00:18:48,033 --> 00:18:49,167
no, brian.
408
00:18:49,234 --> 00:18:50,868
this is great
human interest stuff.
409
00:18:50,934 --> 00:18:52,534
please continue,
mr. tanner.
410
00:18:52,601 --> 00:18:54,167
he has
nothing to say.
411
00:18:54,234 --> 00:18:55,567
yes, i do.
412
00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:57,467
my son, brian,
entered a project...
413
00:18:57,534 --> 00:18:59,133
in a school
science carnival.
414
00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:00,767
is that like
a science fair?
415
00:19:00,834 --> 00:19:02,934
well, this
has clowns.
416
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:04,868
but the school wouldn't
allow the project...
417
00:19:04,934 --> 00:19:06,767
to be displayed
without--
418
00:19:06,834 --> 00:19:07,934
without proper
credit to...
419
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:10,467
the imagination
of brian tanner.
420
00:19:10,534 --> 00:19:11,534
excuse me?
421
00:19:11,601 --> 00:19:13,534
i'm brian's principal
and i want to say...
422
00:19:13,601 --> 00:19:16,167
that this is what our science
carnival is all about:
423
00:19:16,234 --> 00:19:17,100
free thinking!
424
00:19:17,167 --> 00:19:19,167
it is?
it is now.
425
00:19:19,234 --> 00:19:21,534
not to display
brian's project...
426
00:19:21,601 --> 00:19:22,901
would be close-minded.
427
00:19:22,968 --> 00:19:25,467
does this mean
i can enter my project?
428
00:19:25,534 --> 00:19:27,133
absolutely.
429
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:30,100
we encourage open-mindedness
in all of our students.
430
00:19:30,167 --> 00:19:32,267
after all, where would
science be today...
431
00:19:32,334 --> 00:19:34,067
if it weren't
for free thinking?
432
00:19:34,133 --> 00:19:37,334
for the dreamers!
right, brian?
433
00:19:46,801 --> 00:19:49,300
hurry up, brian's science
story is coming on next.
434
00:19:49,367 --> 00:19:51,934
i was just going over the
phone bill and i found--
435
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:53,467
save it for
later, willie.
436
00:19:53,534 --> 00:19:55,667
this is
brian's moment.
437
00:19:55,734 --> 00:20:00,601
do you know someone made
a 2-hour call to libya?
438
00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:02,501
that might
have been me.
439
00:20:02,567 --> 00:20:05,200
"consumer ed" set up
the call to the factory.
440
00:20:05,267 --> 00:20:08,701
this was a
$300 phone call!
441
00:20:08,767 --> 00:20:12,033
hey, i got you a new
tv out of it, didn't i?
442
00:20:12,100 --> 00:20:15,334
i didn't pay $300
for the first one!
443
00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:18,434
which is exactly
why it broke.
444
00:20:18,501 --> 00:20:21,033
shh! brian's story
is on. turn it up.
445
00:20:21,100 --> 00:20:23,267
i'd like to step out of the
consumer corner for a minute,
446
00:20:23,334 --> 00:20:25,167
and share with you
an interesting story...
447
00:20:25,234 --> 00:20:26,868
i recently stumbled upon.
448
00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:29,434
look, there's
my school!
449
00:20:29,501 --> 00:20:30,767
i'm standing
in the auditorium...
450
00:20:30,834 --> 00:20:32,267
of the franklin
elementary school,
451
00:20:32,334 --> 00:20:35,300
where an annual event called a
"science carnival" takes place.
452
00:20:35,367 --> 00:20:38,434
[ horn squeaks ]
move it, clown!
453
00:20:38,501 --> 00:20:40,901
but what makes this
year's event so unusual,
454
00:20:40,968 --> 00:20:42,367
besides the clowns,
455
00:20:42,434 --> 00:20:46,567
is a new category called
"the world of ideas," where--
456
00:20:46,634 --> 00:20:49,434
[ sparks ]
457
00:20:57,167 --> 00:21:00,434
closed-captioned by
captions, inc., los angeles
458
00:21:25,033 --> 00:21:26,801
copyrighted by
alien productions.
all rights reserved.31885
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