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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday 2 00:00:38,746 --> 00:00:42,044 There is one graduate here today 3 00:00:42,083 --> 00:00:47,919 that has won every single honor and award this school gives out. 4 00:00:47,955 --> 00:00:54,587 That graduate, our friend, is Van Wilder! 5 00:01:13,914 --> 00:01:18,351 Standing here today, I cannot help but wish I could stay 6 00:01:18,352 --> 00:01:20,843 in high school forever. 7 00:01:20,855 --> 00:01:24,586 I mean, there are so many warm mammories... 8 00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:29,486 Memories I have of this place. 9 00:01:30,631 --> 00:01:34,157 But, you see, change, like life, 10 00:01:34,602 --> 00:01:37,866 has a way of sneaking up on us. 11 00:01:43,978 --> 00:01:47,743 When we least expect it, yeah. 12 00:01:49,950 --> 00:01:55,444 Sure, the timing may seem very, very bad, 13 00:01:57,591 --> 00:02:02,824 but yet it feels good, so good, 14 00:02:03,831 --> 00:02:06,800 to be graduating with some of the sharpest minds 15 00:02:06,801 --> 00:02:12,568 and swiftly darting tongues that this school has to offer. 16 00:02:13,340 --> 00:02:18,140 Listen to me ramble. I am really giving you a mouthful. 17 00:02:18,212 --> 00:02:22,048 But before I'm finished, it is my extreme pleasure 18 00:02:22,049 --> 00:02:28,188 to recognize someone who has aced her oral exams, 19 00:02:28,189 --> 00:02:32,325 who has always been head of the class, 20 00:02:32,326 --> 00:02:38,492 graduating summa cum 21 00:02:44,405 --> 00:02:49,638 laude. Our very own valedictorian. 22 00:03:01,188 --> 00:03:03,747 Congratulations, graduates! 23 00:03:10,164 --> 00:03:12,599 - Congratulations, Son. - Thanks. 24 00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:15,068 Now, let's get out of here. The sooner we get to Amsterdam, 25 00:03:15,069 --> 00:03:17,670 the sooner we won't be able to remember it. 26 00:03:17,671 --> 00:03:19,229 Yeah. 27 00:03:22,309 --> 00:03:25,278 - You're not going to Amsterdam. - I can't. 28 00:03:25,279 --> 00:03:28,214 Sheik Mohammad is building an island outside of Dubai. 29 00:03:28,215 --> 00:03:31,251 And I'm gonna help him import a million tons of sand. 30 00:03:31,252 --> 00:03:33,553 It's a huge opportunity, Van. 31 00:03:33,554 --> 00:03:36,356 Come on. You're gonna have a great time without me. 32 00:03:36,357 --> 00:03:38,691 Exploring nether regions in the Netherlands 33 00:03:38,692 --> 00:03:42,128 is not a bad way to spend your summer before college. 34 00:03:42,129 --> 00:03:44,898 I still don't know why I can't just skip college and come work for you. 35 00:03:44,899 --> 00:03:46,699 I mean, I know the business, we could hang out... 36 00:03:46,700 --> 00:03:50,470 Van, every Wilder man has graduated from Coolidge. 37 00:03:50,471 --> 00:03:55,203 It's tradition. And tradition is something you just don't break. 38 00:03:55,910 --> 00:03:57,677 I gotta run. Hey, have a great time, 39 00:03:57,678 --> 00:03:59,546 do everything I wouldn't do, and remember, 40 00:03:59,547 --> 00:04:03,107 - "Banging, broke or blitzed"... - "A Wilder never quits". 41 00:04:03,784 --> 00:04:05,842 Write that down. 42 00:06:06,073 --> 00:06:09,770 Well, well. Look who just arrived. 43 00:06:20,821 --> 00:06:23,690 Van, do you have to go back to the college? 44 00:06:23,691 --> 00:06:26,557 Come back to Amsterdam with us. 45 00:06:26,894 --> 00:06:32,832 Dulia, Babette, I'm sorry, ladies, but I must. 46 00:06:43,677 --> 00:06:46,771 I've been waiting 30 years for this. 47 00:07:05,999 --> 00:07:09,491 It's a little small, but I can work with it. 48 00:07:20,714 --> 00:07:23,978 Van Wilder. I'm your new roommate. 49 00:07:25,753 --> 00:07:28,380 All right. Farley. 50 00:07:30,991 --> 00:07:32,685 Smoke? 51 00:07:34,795 --> 00:07:37,363 Man, am I glad we are roommates, man! 52 00:07:37,364 --> 00:07:40,264 This place is a pimper's paradise. 53 00:07:41,902 --> 00:07:45,200 I'm gonna make some of my special brownies. 54 00:08:08,462 --> 00:08:11,998 My God! We've been invaded by Supercuts! 55 00:08:11,999 --> 00:08:16,595 - Lieutenant Dirk Arnold, ROTC. - Corporal Benedict, ROTC. 56 00:08:17,070 --> 00:08:20,173 Van Wilder, WTF? 57 00:08:20,174 --> 00:08:24,210 The Honorable Dean Charles Reardon requests your presence immediately. 58 00:08:24,211 --> 00:08:26,906 But I just put my slippers on. 59 00:08:31,518 --> 00:08:33,386 Van Wilder, sir, as you ordered. 60 00:08:33,387 --> 00:08:35,684 Return to your squad. 61 00:08:35,689 --> 00:08:38,123 Well, well, Mr. Wilder. 62 00:08:38,625 --> 00:08:40,560 Nice of you to join us. 63 00:08:40,561 --> 00:08:43,196 Colonel Charles Reardon, Dean, Coolidge College. 64 00:08:43,197 --> 00:08:45,031 How's it hanging, Chuck? 65 00:08:45,032 --> 00:08:47,166 You see these fine young men, Wilder? 66 00:08:47,167 --> 00:08:48,935 These are Reardon's Raiders. 67 00:08:48,936 --> 00:08:51,871 They've won every ROTC war game for the past three years. 68 00:08:51,872 --> 00:08:54,340 They're my pride and joy. 69 00:08:55,676 --> 00:09:00,203 Good doggies. I especially like your Chihuahua. 70 00:09:01,648 --> 00:09:05,485 Lady Liberty is a purebred Italian greyhound. 71 00:09:05,486 --> 00:09:08,716 Actually, I was talking about that guy. 72 00:09:09,223 --> 00:09:10,951 Arnold! 73 00:09:11,458 --> 00:09:13,687 Secure Lady Liberty. 74 00:09:14,027 --> 00:09:17,291 Let's you and me take a little ride, son. 75 00:09:20,133 --> 00:09:21,691 Stay. 76 00:09:23,003 --> 00:09:26,063 - Good dog. - Get the lead out, Wilder! 77 00:09:28,675 --> 00:09:30,877 You know, I went to school here with your father. 78 00:09:30,878 --> 00:09:31,978 He acted like he owned the place, 79 00:09:31,979 --> 00:09:35,414 just 'cause his family's name was on that building over there. 80 00:09:35,415 --> 00:09:37,283 You know what that name means to me? 81 00:09:37,284 --> 00:09:40,820 About as much as titties on a mule, son. I run this outfit now. 82 00:09:40,821 --> 00:09:44,123 And while you're here, you'll follow Reardon's Rules. 83 00:09:44,124 --> 00:09:48,116 No drinking, no fornicating, and no partying, period. 84 00:09:48,829 --> 00:09:52,498 Or you'll be the first Wilder who fails to graduate from Coolidge. 85 00:09:52,499 --> 00:09:54,333 Now, do you follow me? 86 00:09:54,334 --> 00:09:57,701 Yes, sir! You prefer your mules titless! 87 00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:01,474 Let's get one thing straight, son. 88 00:10:01,475 --> 00:10:04,977 I may not be able to kick you out of here 'cause of your daddy and his dough. 89 00:10:04,978 --> 00:10:09,437 But you screw with me, and I'll make it so you'll pray to leave. 90 00:10:09,449 --> 00:10:11,211 Out. 91 00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:14,453 I'm glad we had this talk. 92 00:10:14,454 --> 00:10:18,014 Means there won't be any problems in the future. 93 00:10:19,293 --> 00:10:24,628 Party tonight, party tonight. Party tonight, party tonight, thank you. 94 00:10:25,232 --> 00:10:29,101 You smell that, Farley? That's the smell of opportunity. 95 00:10:29,102 --> 00:10:33,172 The smell of thousands of new girls. The... Hello. 96 00:10:33,173 --> 00:10:36,742 Van Wilder, Chairman of Freshman Relations, self-appointed. 97 00:10:36,743 --> 00:10:38,477 This is my partner, Farley Marley. 98 00:10:38,478 --> 00:10:42,880 - Jah Rastafari. - He's from Jamaica. 99 00:10:42,983 --> 00:10:44,250 - Right. - We're having a little 100 00:10:44,251 --> 00:10:47,286 room-warming soiree tonight. Nothing big, just a few hundred friends, 101 00:10:47,287 --> 00:10:50,856 foam machine, nitrous, frappuccinos. We would love it if you ladies came. 102 00:10:50,857 --> 00:10:53,689 - A party? - You're joking, right? 103 00:10:59,533 --> 00:11:03,469 No! 104 00:11:04,438 --> 00:11:06,269 It's okay. 105 00:11:10,010 --> 00:11:13,070 Wow. This is embarrassing. 106 00:11:13,614 --> 00:11:16,514 I can't believe nobody showed up. 107 00:11:17,451 --> 00:11:20,044 Well, it's about time. 108 00:11:24,091 --> 00:11:25,751 Party? 109 00:11:30,564 --> 00:11:35,234 So, Yu Dum Fok! You came all the way here from China. 110 00:11:35,235 --> 00:11:39,138 Yes. Village I grow up in boring as shit. 111 00:11:39,139 --> 00:11:46,010 No party. I dream of beer bong, bimbos, and boob on my butt. 112 00:11:46,013 --> 00:11:49,615 So, I work in sweatshop, save money, come here. 113 00:11:49,616 --> 00:11:53,853 Cannot even afford room, have to sleep in janitor closet. 114 00:11:53,854 --> 00:11:58,024 That's one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard, Yu Dum Fok. 115 00:11:58,025 --> 00:12:03,295 No offense to your ancestors, but maybe we'll just call you Yu, Yu. 116 00:12:03,296 --> 00:12:06,999 Van, how come no hot, young, American cat? 117 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:10,025 Coolidge is number one party school! 118 00:12:10,237 --> 00:12:14,036 1979. Wow! 119 00:12:15,075 --> 00:12:17,600 Girls used to have hair? 120 00:12:20,047 --> 00:12:23,315 I hate to break it to you, Yu, 121 00:12:23,316 --> 00:12:26,580 but I don't think that's the case anymore. 122 00:12:26,953 --> 00:12:28,943 No party? 123 00:12:29,690 --> 00:12:31,623 No beer bong? 124 00:12:32,526 --> 00:12:35,586 - No boob on butt? - No. 125 00:12:36,296 --> 00:12:39,663 I go to janitor closet now. Drink "breach". 126 00:12:42,102 --> 00:12:43,660 Forget the "breach". 127 00:12:47,274 --> 00:12:50,709 Boys, it's toga time. 128 00:13:18,171 --> 00:13:22,869 Friends, Romans, grunting women, lend me your beers. 129 00:13:51,204 --> 00:13:52,898 Welcome. 130 00:13:54,341 --> 00:13:55,574 Nice jugs. 131 00:13:55,575 --> 00:13:58,444 They contain the sacred blood of the lamb. 132 00:13:58,445 --> 00:14:00,613 Do you wish to be purified? 133 00:14:00,614 --> 00:14:03,548 We here for boob on butt. 134 00:14:03,750 --> 00:14:06,912 Actually, I think we're lost. 135 00:14:07,788 --> 00:14:12,657 Come with me. My sisters will take care of your friends. 136 00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:16,462 I'm not sure if you're aware, but in the past few years 137 00:14:16,463 --> 00:14:20,866 Coolidge has become a more religious and conservative campus 138 00:14:20,867 --> 00:14:23,130 than it used to be. 139 00:14:24,204 --> 00:14:26,438 I'd better take these. 140 00:14:26,439 --> 00:14:29,241 Alcohol is the devil's mouthwash. 141 00:14:29,242 --> 00:14:31,377 At Coolidge, we're dry. 142 00:14:31,378 --> 00:14:34,046 You know, science has made incredible advancements 143 00:14:34,047 --> 00:14:36,048 in personal lubrication. 144 00:14:36,049 --> 00:14:39,040 You won't be needing these, either. 145 00:14:39,286 --> 00:14:43,882 Orgasms are the devil's heroin. Just once, and you're hooked. 146 00:14:45,826 --> 00:14:51,864 "O daughters of Jerusalem, do not awaken love until it is ready". 147 00:14:51,865 --> 00:14:53,732 - Amen. - Amen. 148 00:14:53,733 --> 00:14:56,167 Song of Solomon, 8:4. 149 00:14:57,604 --> 00:15:02,598 Let she who is without sin grasp the first bone. 150 00:15:04,911 --> 00:15:07,436 Wilder, 69. 151 00:15:09,249 --> 00:15:13,152 Perhaps you and your friends should look into a different school. 152 00:15:13,153 --> 00:15:15,087 We have enough sinners here. 153 00:15:15,088 --> 00:15:17,690 You wouldn't happen to have their phone numbers, would you? 154 00:15:17,691 --> 00:15:20,421 You have a very impure spirit. 155 00:15:20,527 --> 00:15:26,090 There's a dark, wretched hole waiting for you. 156 00:15:26,533 --> 00:15:30,264 Okay, but you have to buy me a drink first. 157 00:15:30,470 --> 00:15:33,131 I think that can be arranged. 158 00:15:33,673 --> 00:15:36,698 Now I know what a tampon feels like. 159 00:15:37,410 --> 00:15:39,879 This is a complete fuckery, you know, man. 160 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:42,648 No poom poom, no ganja. 161 00:15:42,649 --> 00:15:46,352 Vampires for Jesus, throwing blood on us? 162 00:15:46,353 --> 00:15:50,489 - I can't take four years of this bullshit. - We drink "breach," get sent home. 163 00:15:50,490 --> 00:15:55,689 Hey! No one's drinking "breach!" And no one's going home. 164 00:15:56,062 --> 00:15:58,723 So what did you have in mind? 165 00:16:05,772 --> 00:16:07,500 We shake things up a bit. 166 00:16:18,952 --> 00:16:21,511 Why don't we just buy some? 167 00:16:22,022 --> 00:16:24,456 Where's the fun in that? 168 00:16:25,358 --> 00:16:28,656 This almost as good as boob on butt. 169 00:17:35,228 --> 00:17:37,923 Say hello to my little friend. 170 00:17:53,580 --> 00:17:55,240 Sorry. 171 00:17:57,017 --> 00:17:58,609 Don't forget to floss. 172 00:18:03,289 --> 00:18:06,692 Hi, Dirk. How's that big gun of yours? 173 00:18:06,693 --> 00:18:09,962 - Hey, honeybear. - Hey, honeybear! 174 00:18:09,963 --> 00:18:15,560 Kaitlin. So nice you could make it. We missed you in Bible study again. 175 00:18:15,802 --> 00:18:17,963 - Hymnal? - Whoa! 176 00:18:18,905 --> 00:18:21,703 Nice arm, Jezebel. 177 00:18:22,275 --> 00:18:25,010 - I believe this is yours. - Thanks. 178 00:18:25,011 --> 00:18:28,537 Van Wilder, hopeless romantic. 179 00:18:30,350 --> 00:18:33,410 - Kaitlin Hayes. - My girlfriend. 180 00:18:33,420 --> 00:18:35,254 Well, it's nice to see there are some Christians 181 00:18:35,255 --> 00:18:37,814 who still do charity work. 182 00:18:38,725 --> 00:18:41,284 Come on, Kaitlin, let's go. 183 00:18:42,595 --> 00:18:45,859 Yeah, before all the good seats are taken! 184 00:18:45,965 --> 00:18:48,933 No, thanks. I brought my own. 185 00:18:51,404 --> 00:18:52,604 Thank you. 186 00:18:52,605 --> 00:18:56,809 Today, I wanna talk about something that's all over this school, 187 00:18:56,810 --> 00:19:02,347 and it isn't pencils, no. And it isn't books. But it's sin. 188 00:19:02,348 --> 00:19:05,373 S- I-N. Sin. 189 00:19:05,418 --> 00:19:10,089 You know, it seems like they'll let just about anybody in school these days. 190 00:19:10,090 --> 00:19:12,057 Except Jesus. 191 00:19:12,058 --> 00:19:15,394 And, you know, I took the time to check Jesus' transcripts, 192 00:19:15,395 --> 00:19:19,631 and I find out that Jesus has a perfect GPA. 193 00:19:19,632 --> 00:19:22,828 Yeah, that stands for God Point Average. 194 00:19:24,637 --> 00:19:27,172 Amen, amen. 195 00:19:27,173 --> 00:19:29,675 - Amen. - Amen. 196 00:19:29,676 --> 00:19:34,078 But what is the number one sin on campus today? 197 00:19:35,215 --> 00:19:37,649 Quite plainly, it's sex. 198 00:19:37,917 --> 00:19:39,885 - Sex. - S-E-X. 199 00:19:39,886 --> 00:19:41,785 - Sex. - Sex. 200 00:19:41,855 --> 00:19:46,258 Even as we're speaking, the sinning is beginning. Amen! 201 00:19:46,259 --> 00:19:48,093 - Amen. - Amen. 202 00:19:48,094 --> 00:19:49,228 Amen, sisters. 203 00:19:49,229 --> 00:19:51,130 - Gentlemen, the Lord is... - Hallelujah, sister! 204 00:19:51,131 --> 00:19:52,498 - ... about to work in very... - Hallelujah! 205 00:19:52,499 --> 00:19:53,832 - ... mysterious ways. - Hallelujah! 206 00:19:53,833 --> 00:19:58,201 That's right, sisters. I want you to feel the Lord inside you. 207 00:19:59,005 --> 00:20:05,110 Because fornication, copulation and the king of all sins, masturbation, 208 00:20:05,111 --> 00:20:09,214 is happening all around us, even at this very moment. 209 00:20:09,215 --> 00:20:11,876 - Amen! - Amen! 210 00:20:12,051 --> 00:20:17,921 But we've got a secret because we've got Jesus on our side. 211 00:20:18,992 --> 00:20:20,325 Can I get an amen? 212 00:20:20,326 --> 00:20:21,793 - Amen! - Amen! 213 00:20:21,794 --> 00:20:25,097 Amen, sisters! Yes, they're feeling it right now! 214 00:20:25,098 --> 00:20:28,534 They got the power of the Lord deep down inside them. 215 00:20:28,535 --> 00:20:30,400 - Amen! - Amen! 216 00:20:30,603 --> 00:20:32,838 Hallelujah, sister, hallelujah. 217 00:20:32,839 --> 00:20:35,273 - Hallelujah! - Hallelujah! 218 00:20:36,109 --> 00:20:38,443 - I want each of you out there to pray. - Amen. 219 00:20:38,444 --> 00:20:41,413 Pray that you might be feeling what they're feeling. 220 00:20:41,414 --> 00:20:42,681 - Amen! - Amen! 221 00:20:42,682 --> 00:20:45,150 Yes, they're talking to the big guy. 222 00:20:45,151 --> 00:20:46,752 - Amen! - Amen! 223 00:20:46,753 --> 00:20:49,321 Oh, the sisters are feeling mighty good right now. 224 00:20:49,322 --> 00:20:51,790 - Amen, sisters! - Amen! 225 00:20:51,791 --> 00:20:54,691 It's time for some tits and mass. 226 00:20:56,829 --> 00:20:59,398 - Amen! - Amen! 227 00:20:59,399 --> 00:21:01,200 - Amen! - Amen! 228 00:21:01,201 --> 00:21:02,568 Amen, sisters! 229 00:21:02,569 --> 00:21:04,236 That's what I'm talking about! 230 00:21:04,237 --> 00:21:05,971 - Amen! - Amen! 231 00:21:05,972 --> 00:21:08,941 You might as well open up your pearly gates, dear Lord. 232 00:21:08,942 --> 00:21:12,411 'Cause these sisters are coming! These sisters are coming! 233 00:21:12,412 --> 00:21:14,446 These sisters are coming! 234 00:21:14,447 --> 00:21:16,346 - Amen! - Amen! 235 00:21:17,750 --> 00:21:18,746 You know what these are? 236 00:21:18,747 --> 00:21:20,175 You know what these are? 237 00:21:21,354 --> 00:21:23,185 Yes, sir. 238 00:21:23,923 --> 00:21:27,459 And I think experimentation is healthy for any marriage. 239 00:21:27,460 --> 00:21:32,192 You listen to me, funny man. I can't prove it, but I know it was you. 240 00:21:32,465 --> 00:21:36,134 And you can rest assured, I will get to the bottom of this. 241 00:21:36,135 --> 00:21:39,934 In this case, Chuck, may I recommend some Vaseline. 242 00:21:42,542 --> 00:21:47,945 You know, nowadays, the Dean has much more influence 243 00:21:48,147 --> 00:21:50,616 over a student's curriculum. 244 00:21:50,617 --> 00:21:54,314 And I have got something special in store for you. 245 00:21:54,420 --> 00:21:58,947 Something to build character. Something to make you a man. 246 00:21:59,325 --> 00:22:03,729 - Left, left, left, left, left, left... - Left, left, left, left, left, left... 247 00:22:03,730 --> 00:22:05,497 I'm gonna take a stab in the dark and say 248 00:22:05,498 --> 00:22:08,865 that none of you signed up for this, either. 249 00:22:12,105 --> 00:22:15,073 Well, if they think that we came to college 250 00:22:15,074 --> 00:22:17,976 to waste our time playing soldier 251 00:22:17,977 --> 00:22:23,181 to some slack-jawed, pituitary-pumping, testosterone-tweaking Neanderthal, 252 00:22:23,182 --> 00:22:25,343 then they... 253 00:22:28,254 --> 00:22:30,822 Are 100% correct. 254 00:22:30,823 --> 00:22:34,156 Attention! Straight line! Eyes forward! 255 00:22:35,328 --> 00:22:38,897 I'm Corporal Hayes. I will be your drill instructor. 256 00:22:38,898 --> 00:22:42,701 It's my job to guide you through your ROTC physical training, 257 00:22:42,702 --> 00:22:46,467 which is required to graduate from this institution. 258 00:22:46,506 --> 00:22:48,940 Are there any questions? 259 00:22:49,876 --> 00:22:51,176 Yes, soldier. 260 00:22:51,177 --> 00:22:55,113 Do you, by chance, drill in private? 261 00:22:55,715 --> 00:22:57,182 Well, Mr. Wilder, if you'd like, 262 00:22:57,183 --> 00:23:02,120 I'm sure I can arrange for us to spend a little one-on-one time together. 263 00:23:02,822 --> 00:23:05,517 This a new experience for you? 264 00:23:06,492 --> 00:23:08,050 Yeah. 265 00:23:08,428 --> 00:23:12,591 I usually go electric. Helps get those hard-to-reach spots. 266 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:17,367 Hilarious. I've met guys like you before. 267 00:23:17,403 --> 00:23:20,701 The only person you care about is yourself. 268 00:23:21,607 --> 00:23:23,972 - Something funny? - Yeah. 269 00:23:24,510 --> 00:23:27,546 I just can't wait to prove you wrong. 270 00:23:27,547 --> 00:23:29,014 We'll see. 271 00:23:29,015 --> 00:23:32,143 Oh, and by the way, you missed a spot. 272 00:23:32,819 --> 00:23:34,547 Enjoy. 273 00:23:43,996 --> 00:23:47,294 I'm sorry. I ordered mine well-done. 274 00:23:50,770 --> 00:23:52,804 I have better food in sweatshop. 275 00:23:52,805 --> 00:23:55,500 Oh, it can't be that bad, Yu. 276 00:24:06,619 --> 00:24:12,079 - What? I had the munchies. - Well, look what we have here. 277 00:24:12,992 --> 00:24:14,326 I haven't seen this many turds 278 00:24:14,327 --> 00:24:17,887 since I won that campus hot-dog eating contest. 279 00:24:18,231 --> 00:24:23,201 Yeah, I haven't seen this many pansies since I was picking flowers yesterday. 280 00:24:23,202 --> 00:24:26,238 Remember, I was making that arrangement, and the... 281 00:24:26,239 --> 00:24:28,440 So how's the chow, ladies? 282 00:24:28,441 --> 00:24:32,010 I give the presentation three stars, I really do, 283 00:24:32,011 --> 00:24:35,173 but the pseudo meat, it's a little dry. 284 00:24:50,763 --> 00:24:54,255 - There you go. All better. - Yum, yum, yum. 285 00:24:57,804 --> 00:24:59,971 You know, I heard they were looking for a few good men, 286 00:24:59,972 --> 00:25:03,532 but I guess they'll take whatever they can get. 287 00:25:05,745 --> 00:25:10,375 - Hey, Dirk. - Kaitlin! Hey, honeybear, hi! 288 00:25:11,117 --> 00:25:12,284 What are you boys up to? 289 00:25:12,285 --> 00:25:15,587 Well, we were just congratulating these fine young soldiers here 290 00:25:15,588 --> 00:25:19,854 on their first day of duty. You know me, Lieutenant Friendly. 291 00:25:20,026 --> 00:25:23,595 Lieutenant Friendly here even volunteered to switch meals with me. 292 00:25:23,596 --> 00:25:25,859 Oh, what a nice guy. 293 00:25:33,773 --> 00:25:37,208 Yum, yum. That is so good. 294 00:25:38,611 --> 00:25:40,738 How's yours, Dirk? 295 00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:49,048 Oh, God. 296 00:25:59,098 --> 00:26:01,190 Well, how was it? 297 00:26:05,471 --> 00:26:07,962 Always leading by example. 298 00:26:09,242 --> 00:26:12,978 - So, are we still going to the game? - Oh, I... 299 00:26:12,979 --> 00:26:15,003 You bet we are! 300 00:26:15,481 --> 00:26:16,715 What game? 301 00:26:16,716 --> 00:26:19,451 - There's a football game this weekend. - Really? 302 00:26:19,452 --> 00:26:21,686 These losers haven't won a game in years. 303 00:26:21,687 --> 00:26:22,921 Come on, it's not about winning or losing. 304 00:26:22,922 --> 00:26:25,223 It's about supporting your school. 305 00:26:25,224 --> 00:26:28,226 You know what? You are so right, babe. School spirit. 306 00:26:28,227 --> 00:26:29,594 Okay, well I'm gonna get back to class. 307 00:26:29,595 --> 00:26:31,619 Okay. Bye. 308 00:26:32,798 --> 00:26:37,394 All right, guess what, queerbait? You're officially on my bad side. 309 00:26:48,781 --> 00:26:53,650 The team's a joke, but the concessions will probably buy me a new Humvee. 310 00:26:56,822 --> 00:26:58,056 Right. 311 00:26:58,057 --> 00:27:01,822 I take bigger hits than these guys for breakfast. 312 00:27:02,028 --> 00:27:03,728 No, it's not the team's fault. 313 00:27:03,729 --> 00:27:07,357 - You guys, come on! - They've got no inspiration. 314 00:27:07,533 --> 00:27:10,502 It looks like the cheerleaders are asking for a little divine intervention. 315 00:27:10,503 --> 00:27:12,698 I'll be right back. 316 00:27:13,406 --> 00:27:15,669 Where you going, man? 317 00:27:16,008 --> 00:27:17,873 To fix this. 318 00:27:22,381 --> 00:27:26,373 I have never seen such a sorry display in all my life. 319 00:27:26,452 --> 00:27:28,887 I mean, where's the fire? Where is the intensity? 320 00:27:28,888 --> 00:27:33,222 And for God's sake, where are the tight ends? 321 00:27:33,593 --> 00:27:35,627 Your team needs you out there. 322 00:27:35,628 --> 00:27:40,131 Okay, being a cheerleader isn't about pigtails and pompoms. 323 00:27:40,132 --> 00:27:43,735 It's about standing by your team, even when they suck. 324 00:27:43,736 --> 00:27:47,105 Especially when they suck. 325 00:27:47,106 --> 00:27:48,206 - Yeah. - Yeah. 326 00:27:48,207 --> 00:27:49,641 Now, do you think you can do that? 327 00:27:49,642 --> 00:27:50,809 - Yes. - Yes. 328 00:27:50,810 --> 00:27:53,545 Do you think you can give it the old college try? 329 00:27:53,546 --> 00:27:54,679 - Yes. - Yes. 330 00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:59,317 Do you think maybe, just maybe, you can help those guys score? 331 00:27:59,318 --> 00:28:00,719 - Yes! - Yes! 332 00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:03,415 That's what I'm talking about. 333 00:28:03,756 --> 00:28:08,352 But first, we're gonna have to make a few cuts. 334 00:28:17,737 --> 00:28:19,604 Who knew our cheerleaders were hot? 335 00:28:19,605 --> 00:28:22,596 Who knew our cheerleaders were women? 336 00:28:23,442 --> 00:28:26,678 Hey, guys. The girls have done their part. 337 00:28:26,679 --> 00:28:28,942 Now it's your turn. 338 00:28:30,616 --> 00:28:33,618 Oh, and they said that if you win this thing, 339 00:28:33,619 --> 00:28:36,713 they're throwing you a victory party. 340 00:28:37,356 --> 00:28:41,526 Victory party, guys. All right, let's go. One, two, three... 341 00:28:41,527 --> 00:28:43,756 - Coolidge! - Coolidge! 342 00:28:45,464 --> 00:28:48,660 Come on! I know you can do it, now. 343 00:28:49,101 --> 00:28:50,802 I tell you, I don't know whose idea it was, 344 00:28:50,803 --> 00:28:55,637 but these cheerleaders are grinding it harder than Juan Valdez. 345 00:28:56,909 --> 00:28:58,774 What the... 346 00:28:59,879 --> 00:29:01,778 Sweet Jesus! 347 00:29:28,574 --> 00:29:31,542 Now, that's what I'm talking about! 348 00:30:44,083 --> 00:30:46,210 Watch your head! 349 00:30:53,859 --> 00:30:56,122 Guys, give me a ride. 350 00:31:13,145 --> 00:31:14,669 Hey! 351 00:31:15,181 --> 00:31:17,808 - School spirit? - No, thanks. 352 00:31:17,950 --> 00:31:20,042 How about a beer? 353 00:31:24,623 --> 00:31:26,522 In a bottle. 354 00:31:30,129 --> 00:31:32,358 I shouldn't be here. 355 00:31:49,281 --> 00:31:51,248 Hey, wait up! 356 00:31:53,252 --> 00:31:54,686 I'll walk you back to your dorm. 357 00:31:54,687 --> 00:31:58,256 I'm sorry. I just... I can't afford to do anything that might jeopardize 358 00:31:58,257 --> 00:32:02,215 - getting into officer-training school. - Understandable. 359 00:32:02,962 --> 00:32:05,096 I must seem like such a Goody Two-shoes. 360 00:32:05,097 --> 00:32:06,655 No. 361 00:32:06,832 --> 00:32:09,197 I was gonna say prude. 362 00:32:16,542 --> 00:32:21,172 You know, you should read The Art of War by Sun Tzu. 363 00:32:22,381 --> 00:32:26,749 He say, "All great warfare is based on deception. 364 00:32:27,486 --> 00:32:30,386 "Offer the enemy bait to lure him. 365 00:32:30,389 --> 00:32:34,188 "Feign disorder and crush him". 366 00:32:36,996 --> 00:32:38,656 Or her. 367 00:32:39,398 --> 00:32:41,466 He also says we cannot enter alliances 368 00:32:41,467 --> 00:32:45,425 until we know the designs of our neighbors. Good night. 369 00:32:48,908 --> 00:32:52,110 You're not even going to let me escort you to your room? 370 00:32:52,111 --> 00:32:55,546 Now, what kind of a prude would that make me? 371 00:33:31,650 --> 00:33:35,051 Hey, where'd you come from? 372 00:33:37,623 --> 00:33:40,591 Broke out of your little cage, huh? 373 00:33:42,027 --> 00:33:44,051 What the hell? 374 00:33:45,397 --> 00:33:47,728 Oh, my God. 375 00:33:49,535 --> 00:33:52,060 You're my new best friend. 376 00:33:52,204 --> 00:33:54,171 Here's to you. 377 00:33:56,241 --> 00:33:58,003 Colossus. 378 00:33:58,210 --> 00:33:59,243 - Hey. - Hey. 379 00:33:59,244 --> 00:34:00,778 Hi! Great party. 380 00:34:00,779 --> 00:34:04,009 Don't thank me. Thank tequila. 381 00:34:06,838 --> 00:34:11,775 Hey, guys, guys, guys, I will get to all of you later, I promise. 382 00:34:13,911 --> 00:34:15,435 Wow! 383 00:34:17,281 --> 00:34:20,807 Hey, big man on campus. 384 00:34:21,219 --> 00:34:27,419 - A blessing and a curse. - Van! Van, I need your help. 385 00:34:27,992 --> 00:34:30,322 - Calm down, Yu. - I meet girl in class, "berry" sexy. 386 00:34:30,323 --> 00:34:33,085 - Calm down, Yu. - I meet girl in class, "berry" sexy. 387 00:34:33,131 --> 00:34:37,067 So I say she beautiful. She say, "Get lost!" 388 00:34:37,068 --> 00:34:41,138 So I say she smart. She say, "Get lost!" 389 00:34:41,139 --> 00:34:47,010 So I say, "I know Van Wilder," and she say, "Where your room?" 390 00:34:47,011 --> 00:34:50,747 Things heating up, but first I give her Connie ring ass. 391 00:34:50,748 --> 00:34:53,150 - Connie who? - Connie ring ass! 392 00:34:53,151 --> 00:34:55,185 - Ring ass? - Ring ass! 393 00:34:55,186 --> 00:34:58,746 - Cunnilingus! - Oh, right! 394 00:34:59,023 --> 00:35:02,117 So next thing, she cry, she run out! 395 00:35:05,730 --> 00:35:08,027 Show me what you did. 396 00:35:24,515 --> 00:35:29,349 Jesus, man! You're lucky you didn't send her to the fucking hospital. 397 00:35:30,555 --> 00:35:33,023 Where did you learn that? 398 00:35:34,225 --> 00:35:38,320 - Sex "crass". - What sex "crass"? 399 00:35:38,763 --> 00:35:42,632 Now, sex is achieved when a male's sin stick is in, on, 400 00:35:42,633 --> 00:35:44,634 or in the same room as 401 00:35:44,635 --> 00:35:46,837 a female's hell hole. 402 00:35:46,838 --> 00:35:48,605 Now, no matter what the woman says, 403 00:35:48,606 --> 00:35:52,735 the act of procreation should only last for a few seconds. 404 00:35:53,111 --> 00:35:57,047 And remember, if it feels good, you're doing it wrong. 405 00:35:57,715 --> 00:36:01,151 Professor Downs! There's an emergency phone call. 406 00:36:01,152 --> 00:36:05,055 - Your wife was in an accident. - Tell her I'll call her later. 407 00:36:05,056 --> 00:36:08,354 - And she totaled your Mustang. - That bitch! 408 00:36:08,359 --> 00:36:12,659 - Class, turn to pages 20 to 22 and... - Hello. 409 00:36:13,831 --> 00:36:15,525 Wake up! 410 00:36:15,833 --> 00:36:21,066 My name is Professor Wilder. 411 00:36:21,339 --> 00:36:27,607 I have BA, an MA and a PhD. And I received a BJ from a double-D. 412 00:36:30,748 --> 00:36:33,648 These are my teaching assistants. 413 00:36:35,686 --> 00:36:38,450 Welcome to Sex 101. 414 00:36:39,857 --> 00:36:41,224 This is hot. 415 00:36:41,225 --> 00:36:43,090 - Yeah! - Yeah! 416 00:36:44,562 --> 00:36:45,829 This is not. 417 00:36:45,830 --> 00:36:47,695 - No! - No! 418 00:36:49,667 --> 00:36:51,293 Hand? 419 00:36:52,036 --> 00:36:53,594 Bad! 420 00:36:54,246 --> 00:36:56,839 Who can name this position? 421 00:36:58,350 --> 00:37:01,152 - Yu. - Glass Bottom Boat! 422 00:37:01,153 --> 00:37:03,120 And this one. 423 00:37:04,323 --> 00:37:06,057 Analingus! 424 00:37:06,058 --> 00:37:10,195 - And that one. - Mississippi Kiss the Gypsy. 425 00:37:10,196 --> 00:37:15,463 Spraying Mantis. Horny Dancer. Superman. 426 00:37:15,701 --> 00:37:18,931 The Gizzard of Oz! 427 00:37:19,738 --> 00:37:21,933 That's my favorite. 428 00:37:23,209 --> 00:37:27,011 - Ladies. - Hello, hands, meet the glans. 429 00:37:27,012 --> 00:37:30,709 - And? - Don't be daft, work the shaft. 430 00:37:31,083 --> 00:37:35,610 - Guys. - Don't be a twit, rub that clit. 431 00:37:35,821 --> 00:37:37,913 You're learning! 432 00:37:38,390 --> 00:37:41,326 Now, remember, always practice safe sex. 433 00:37:41,327 --> 00:37:45,363 But clean up after yourselves. Condoms are like newspapers. 434 00:37:45,364 --> 00:37:46,998 They may be filled with important stuff now, 435 00:37:46,999 --> 00:37:50,935 but you don't want them lying around tomorrow morning. 436 00:37:50,936 --> 00:37:53,028 Write that down. 437 00:37:56,875 --> 00:37:58,740 Miss Hayes. 438 00:38:00,279 --> 00:38:03,548 I'll let it slide this time, but if you plan on being teacher's pet 439 00:38:03,549 --> 00:38:07,018 - you really should stay after class. - Class? 440 00:38:07,886 --> 00:38:09,220 You're kidding, right? 441 00:38:09,221 --> 00:38:13,825 Nothing from that soft-core seminar would actually work in real life. 442 00:38:13,826 --> 00:38:16,886 Okay, I give you tongue if you like. 443 00:38:18,163 --> 00:38:21,766 The point is you put on a disgusting display of vulgar anatomy, 444 00:38:21,767 --> 00:38:23,568 crude stereotypes and dirty limericks. 445 00:38:23,569 --> 00:38:26,367 Which you took copious notes on. 446 00:38:27,139 --> 00:38:28,606 This is all a game to you. 447 00:38:28,607 --> 00:38:32,010 It's a lot of smooth talk, and then it's wham, bam, thank you, Van. 448 00:38:32,011 --> 00:38:34,812 Well, my father taught me, if it's something worth doing, 449 00:38:34,813 --> 00:38:36,848 it's worth doing right. 450 00:38:36,849 --> 00:38:39,484 Well, my father taught me that the best things in life 451 00:38:39,485 --> 00:38:41,816 are worth waiting for. 452 00:38:44,423 --> 00:38:47,255 - Wait. - Catch you later, teach. 453 00:38:47,259 --> 00:38:52,753 Van! Van! Okay, thank you, thank you. 454 00:38:57,569 --> 00:39:01,368 - I'm Yu. - I'm Dongmei. 455 00:39:10,749 --> 00:39:15,982 You know, I am not sure what it is, but there is something in the air tonight. 456 00:39:16,522 --> 00:39:17,722 Something called... 457 00:39:17,723 --> 00:39:19,554 Love, girl. 458 00:39:20,125 --> 00:39:22,927 See, that's what the reggae music is all about. 459 00:39:22,928 --> 00:39:24,062 Love and... 460 00:39:24,063 --> 00:39:25,723 Shrimp? 461 00:39:40,546 --> 00:39:41,913 Look at those. 462 00:39:41,914 --> 00:39:44,974 Flamethrowers! Use the flamethrowers! 463 00:39:49,088 --> 00:39:51,886 Permission to come inside, sir? 464 00:39:52,424 --> 00:39:54,459 Kaitlin, you look like a... 465 00:39:54,460 --> 00:39:56,188 Tramp! 466 00:39:56,395 --> 00:39:59,329 That's what I feel like sometimes. 467 00:39:59,431 --> 00:40:03,230 I mean, I know she has a boyfriend, but it's like... 468 00:40:04,203 --> 00:40:07,934 I'm sorry. I shouldn't be boring you with all this. 469 00:40:09,708 --> 00:40:13,336 Here. I have a little surprise for us. 470 00:40:25,124 --> 00:40:28,491 Sweet and sour. 471 00:40:36,306 --> 00:40:38,007 Kaitlin, what's gotten into you? 472 00:40:38,008 --> 00:40:41,875 Let's just say I learned a few things in class today. 473 00:40:43,380 --> 00:40:45,948 Kaitlin, I need my energy. 474 00:40:45,949 --> 00:40:48,684 I have to pass that obstacle course in the morning. 475 00:40:48,685 --> 00:40:51,176 I'll give you an obstacle. 476 00:40:53,256 --> 00:40:54,984 Don't. 477 00:41:28,458 --> 00:41:31,620 I am so glad you weren't busy tonight. 478 00:41:37,901 --> 00:41:39,732 Go ahead. 479 00:42:07,297 --> 00:42:09,128 God. 480 00:42:12,569 --> 00:42:15,237 Put some of Professor Van's methods to the test last night? 481 00:42:15,238 --> 00:42:17,072 You wish. What about you? 482 00:42:17,073 --> 00:42:21,703 I figured you'd be in Wilder Hall sucking beers with Susie Sorority. 483 00:42:21,845 --> 00:42:23,778 Travel books. 484 00:42:25,315 --> 00:42:28,550 I always had you pegged as more of a Soldier of Fortune girl. 485 00:42:28,551 --> 00:42:31,353 Traveling's one of the reasons why I wanna be in the military. 486 00:42:31,354 --> 00:42:32,754 To see the world. 487 00:42:32,755 --> 00:42:37,089 You know, there are vacations that don't involve machine guns. 488 00:42:37,193 --> 00:42:38,990 Oh, right. 489 00:42:39,028 --> 00:42:41,497 Spring break in Mexico, winters in the Caribbean. 490 00:42:41,498 --> 00:42:44,592 You probably spent summer in Amsterdam. 491 00:42:45,768 --> 00:42:51,501 I think it's important to familiarize oneself with international tongues. 492 00:42:52,142 --> 00:42:56,772 - Life's just one big party, isn't it? - Why shouldn't it be? 493 00:42:56,913 --> 00:42:59,781 Last time I checked, we only go around once, right? 494 00:42:59,782 --> 00:43:02,251 Unless you believe in reincarnation. 495 00:43:02,252 --> 00:43:06,848 In that case, I wanna come back as a ThighMaster. 496 00:43:08,858 --> 00:43:10,518 What? 497 00:43:13,630 --> 00:43:16,257 Hey! Wait up! 498 00:43:16,399 --> 00:43:19,101 You know, you could be a great leader if you just learned 499 00:43:19,102 --> 00:43:20,702 how to follow orders first. 500 00:43:20,703 --> 00:43:23,305 Not a big fan of authority figures, actually. 501 00:43:23,306 --> 00:43:26,475 - Someone has father issues. - That makes two of us. 502 00:43:26,476 --> 00:43:28,910 - Excuse me? - Come on. 503 00:43:29,145 --> 00:43:32,481 The whole military routine, the tough exterior. 504 00:43:32,482 --> 00:43:34,583 You don't know anything about my father or me. 505 00:43:34,584 --> 00:43:37,352 - You just see a uniform and... - You just see a name on a building. 506 00:43:37,353 --> 00:43:40,022 Well, why don't you surprise me? 507 00:43:40,023 --> 00:43:44,926 All right. First of all, I've never even been in Wilder Hall. 508 00:43:45,428 --> 00:43:49,091 And secondly, for someone who's so big on rules, 509 00:43:51,834 --> 00:43:53,168 here it is. 510 00:43:53,169 --> 00:43:55,671 "Student undergarments should be as modest 511 00:43:55,672 --> 00:43:58,606 "and unrevealing as possible". 512 00:43:58,808 --> 00:44:02,744 - So? - So my sixth sense is telling me... 513 00:44:05,348 --> 00:44:08,749 - You're a thong girl. - What? No, I'm not. 514 00:44:08,818 --> 00:44:11,954 - My sixth sense does not lie. - Well, it does this time. 515 00:44:11,955 --> 00:44:13,956 And in the future, you might want to keep it, 516 00:44:13,957 --> 00:44:18,951 and the rest of your senses to yourself. Some things are private, Private. 517 00:44:24,033 --> 00:44:29,664 Corporal, I think it's time we take things to the next level. 518 00:44:29,706 --> 00:44:32,708 I have waited so long to hear you say that. 519 00:44:32,709 --> 00:44:35,177 - What? - Nothing, I... 520 00:44:36,446 --> 00:44:39,314 Eve! Jesus, you almost scared the courage out of me. 521 00:44:39,315 --> 00:44:42,184 Hey, Dirk, I was just wondering if you could help me. 522 00:44:42,185 --> 00:44:44,786 - With what? - I need to talk to God. 523 00:44:44,787 --> 00:44:46,488 So go talk to him. I'm busy. 524 00:44:46,489 --> 00:44:49,457 I need to feel him inside of me. 525 00:44:52,061 --> 00:44:54,263 Don't you wanna help me find God? 526 00:44:54,264 --> 00:44:58,200 - Listen. I don't know what you're on... - Just fuck me! 527 00:44:59,269 --> 00:45:00,736 Get away from me, devil woman! 528 00:45:00,737 --> 00:45:01,870 - Dirk! - Faster! 529 00:45:01,871 --> 00:45:03,338 You get back here! 530 00:45:03,539 --> 00:45:05,974 Yes, I bought you toilet paper. 531 00:45:05,975 --> 00:45:09,205 No, it's not quilted. Golly! 532 00:45:13,283 --> 00:45:16,013 I won't ask if you don't tell? 533 00:45:18,888 --> 00:45:22,482 What the... Hey, put me down! 534 00:45:26,296 --> 00:45:28,630 Is this where you bring all the boys? 535 00:45:28,631 --> 00:45:31,066 Oh, yeah, you're a real comedian. 536 00:45:31,067 --> 00:45:35,270 You like cracking your jokes, throwing your little parties, 537 00:45:35,271 --> 00:45:38,240 sticking your tongue in other people's property? 538 00:45:38,241 --> 00:45:41,209 Can someone get this guy a Tic Tac? 539 00:45:41,511 --> 00:45:45,013 Well, I got news for you, Mr. Cool Guy, 540 00:45:45,014 --> 00:45:50,417 Mr. Rock 'n' Roll, Mr. Hot Crotch! 541 00:45:51,621 --> 00:45:56,625 Your party-boy bullshit has no place here at Coolidge. 542 00:45:56,626 --> 00:45:59,127 And you're about to find out the hard way. 543 00:45:59,128 --> 00:46:00,228 I wanna watch! 544 00:46:00,229 --> 00:46:03,755 This should teach you not to mess with my girl. 545 00:46:08,104 --> 00:46:09,832 Hold him! 546 00:46:12,508 --> 00:46:15,067 Come on, Wilder. Drink up! 547 00:46:19,449 --> 00:46:21,348 Had enough? 548 00:46:21,718 --> 00:46:25,813 You wouldn't happen to have a pale ale on tap, would you? 549 00:46:27,457 --> 00:46:29,185 Screw it. 550 00:46:32,412 --> 00:46:34,470 How your face feel? 551 00:46:35,815 --> 00:46:38,010 Like a punching bag. 552 00:46:38,151 --> 00:46:41,176 Maybe you should find another girl. 553 00:46:41,421 --> 00:46:44,389 No, it's not just the girl, Farley. 554 00:46:44,524 --> 00:46:49,161 Dirk and Reardon and all the rest of those Cro-Magnon crotch diggers 555 00:46:49,162 --> 00:46:53,257 need to learn they can't run this place like Guantanamo U. 556 00:46:58,238 --> 00:47:02,640 Oh, man! Who's been feeding that dog corn again? 557 00:47:06,413 --> 00:47:09,381 Farley, get some gloves. 558 00:47:13,153 --> 00:47:15,280 All right, girls! 559 00:47:17,524 --> 00:47:21,360 This is covert ops! I want it by the book! 560 00:47:21,361 --> 00:47:22,795 Now camo up! Let's go! 561 00:47:22,796 --> 00:47:25,491 - Sir, yes, sir! - Sir, yes, sir! 562 00:47:26,132 --> 00:47:29,863 - Jesus, it smells. - Come on! Faster! Move! Yeah! 563 00:47:29,936 --> 00:47:31,733 Put it on! 564 00:47:32,272 --> 00:47:34,467 Mother of God! 565 00:47:35,175 --> 00:47:37,609 Sir, he's right. It smells like... 566 00:47:37,610 --> 00:47:40,779 What do you want it to smell like? Roses? 567 00:47:40,780 --> 00:47:42,611 Put it on! 568 00:47:51,858 --> 00:47:55,885 All right, troops, one mile left. Double time! Let's go! 569 00:47:58,131 --> 00:48:01,964 - What happened to your face? - I ran into a tool. 570 00:48:08,675 --> 00:48:10,275 Oh, Dirk! 571 00:48:10,276 --> 00:48:14,234 Not now, honeybear, we're in the middle of covert ops! 572 00:48:14,280 --> 00:48:16,815 - What's that smell? - That smell? 573 00:48:16,816 --> 00:48:19,614 - Yeah. - It's the smell of war! 574 00:48:21,988 --> 00:48:24,479 Well, it smells like crap. 575 00:48:29,496 --> 00:48:34,023 - Is that corn? - Back to base showers now! 576 00:48:36,035 --> 00:48:38,298 Ran into a tool, huh? 577 00:48:47,480 --> 00:48:50,149 - Wilder is dead! - Dirk, what are you doing here? 578 00:48:50,150 --> 00:48:53,152 - It's against the rules. - I don't care about the rules. 579 00:48:53,153 --> 00:48:55,721 - Now you sound like Van. - No. No, no, no. 580 00:48:55,722 --> 00:48:58,557 Don't you dare say that name to me! I don't even wanna... 581 00:48:58,558 --> 00:49:02,828 I don't even wanna hear that name! 582 00:49:02,829 --> 00:49:06,331 - Dirk, calm down. - You're forbidden to see him again. 583 00:49:06,332 --> 00:49:08,467 Excuse me? You can't tell me who to see. 584 00:49:08,468 --> 00:49:09,868 Oh, you heard me, Corporal. 585 00:49:09,869 --> 00:49:13,805 I don't want you to see him. You don't talk to him. Period! 586 00:49:14,274 --> 00:49:17,242 Or what? You'll beat him up again? 587 00:49:17,243 --> 00:49:20,610 He's not one of us, Kaitlin! 588 00:49:21,281 --> 00:49:23,271 - Yeah? - Yeah. 589 00:49:24,017 --> 00:49:27,819 Well, then, I don't wanna be one of us, either. Get out, Dirk! 590 00:49:27,820 --> 00:49:30,989 Wait, what? You can't break up with me. 591 00:49:30,990 --> 00:49:34,193 We have cuddle-wuddle time at 2100 hours. 592 00:49:34,194 --> 00:49:36,389 Cuddle your gun. 593 00:49:41,901 --> 00:49:44,892 Oh, and you can keep Major McHuggles! 594 00:49:59,352 --> 00:50:01,615 Where are the others? 595 00:50:01,621 --> 00:50:03,322 Just you and me today, soldier. 596 00:50:03,323 --> 00:50:06,792 Figured you need a little one-on-one training. 597 00:50:07,560 --> 00:50:09,261 You have 10 minutes to run the course. 598 00:50:09,262 --> 00:50:11,957 Let's see if you can keep up. 599 00:50:12,098 --> 00:50:14,600 Care to make it interesting? 600 00:50:14,601 --> 00:50:17,769 If I win, you have to let me take you out. 601 00:50:17,770 --> 00:50:21,103 Nothing sexual, just a tour around campus. 602 00:50:21,274 --> 00:50:22,741 And if you don't? 603 00:50:22,742 --> 00:50:25,611 I'll do latrine duty for a month. 604 00:50:25,612 --> 00:50:29,047 - You're on. - Great. When do I start? 605 00:50:29,048 --> 00:50:31,175 You already have. 606 00:51:49,295 --> 00:51:51,396 You're running out of time! 607 00:51:51,397 --> 00:51:53,498 I can't. I don't have any... 608 00:51:53,499 --> 00:51:58,170 Come on. You have 10 seconds. Ten, nine, eight... 609 00:51:58,171 --> 00:52:00,070 Hey, Wilder! 610 00:52:00,807 --> 00:52:03,366 Do you want this, or what? 611 00:52:10,483 --> 00:52:12,551 I knew you had it in you. 612 00:52:12,552 --> 00:52:14,519 Piece of cake. 613 00:52:14,887 --> 00:52:18,156 Let me know if you find my right testicle. 614 00:52:18,157 --> 00:52:21,592 Come on, milk dud. I'll buy you an ice cream. 615 00:52:22,562 --> 00:52:24,029 Mother! 616 00:52:24,564 --> 00:52:26,395 All right. 617 00:52:29,936 --> 00:52:32,304 Look at 'em, Lieutenant. 618 00:52:32,305 --> 00:52:35,507 Morons, listening to their retard rock. 619 00:52:35,508 --> 00:52:39,144 Horn dogs, tongue-dancing, like cousins in a closet. 620 00:52:39,145 --> 00:52:41,213 You see what's happening down there, don't you? 621 00:52:41,214 --> 00:52:44,046 Chaos, anarchy, ironic T-shirts. 622 00:52:45,718 --> 00:52:49,688 I'm losing control, damn it, and I refuse to let that happen. 623 00:52:49,689 --> 00:52:52,555 Do you know who's behind it, sir? 624 00:52:52,792 --> 00:52:54,659 I know who's behind it, all right. 625 00:52:54,660 --> 00:52:59,221 It's that same rooster that's been sniffing around your hen house. 626 00:53:02,902 --> 00:53:06,605 Looks like somebody needs another beating! 627 00:53:06,606 --> 00:53:08,173 Forget it. 628 00:53:08,174 --> 00:53:10,108 Beating him up is like beating off. 629 00:53:10,109 --> 00:53:12,477 It might feel good doing it, but in the end, 630 00:53:12,478 --> 00:53:14,646 we're just standing there with our dicks in our hands. 631 00:53:14,647 --> 00:53:18,310 - No. We need something more. - I could... 632 00:53:19,051 --> 00:53:20,886 Beat up his roommate, sir. 633 00:53:20,887 --> 00:53:23,855 God damn it, boy. You stupid? 634 00:53:24,257 --> 00:53:26,247 Wait a minute. 635 00:53:26,726 --> 00:53:28,727 Isn't his roommate that pothead? 636 00:53:28,728 --> 00:53:30,627 - Yeah. - Yeah. 637 00:53:31,564 --> 00:53:34,362 Lieutenant, I have got an idea. 638 00:54:10,903 --> 00:54:14,306 Milady, your chariot awaits. 639 00:54:14,307 --> 00:54:17,833 - How did you get this? - Chuck lent it to me. 640 00:54:18,044 --> 00:54:20,068 We go way back. 641 00:54:21,180 --> 00:54:22,840 Thanks. 642 00:54:30,456 --> 00:54:31,990 This is incredible. 643 00:54:31,991 --> 00:54:34,125 You said you always wanted to see the world. 644 00:54:34,126 --> 00:54:36,595 I thought we'd start with the tropics. 645 00:54:36,596 --> 00:54:40,998 Oh, I almost forgot, the most important part. 646 00:54:43,736 --> 00:54:46,338 - What is it? - It's my own concoction. 647 00:54:46,339 --> 00:54:49,207 - I call it the amputated leg. - Why? 648 00:54:49,208 --> 00:54:53,439 'Cause if you have more than one, you're flat on your ass. 649 00:55:08,928 --> 00:55:12,955 Christ! Look at this place. It's like a homo's paradise. 650 00:55:14,300 --> 00:55:17,502 - You want a cosmo? - Put that down! Put it down! 651 00:55:17,503 --> 00:55:20,062 Get over here! Stupid ass. 652 00:55:21,707 --> 00:55:23,936 You have the stuff? 653 00:55:24,610 --> 00:55:28,011 You have no idea where I had to hide this. 654 00:55:30,583 --> 00:55:32,551 Put it over there in that plant thingy. 655 00:55:32,552 --> 00:55:36,351 Technically, that's a variegated ficus. It really... 656 00:55:46,299 --> 00:55:47,899 Yes, hello. I'd like to report the possession 657 00:55:47,900 --> 00:55:50,391 of some illegal narcotics. 658 00:55:50,736 --> 00:55:53,805 I can't believe I'm doing this, blowing off my homework, 659 00:55:53,806 --> 00:55:57,008 drinking and riding in a stolen vehicle, no less. 660 00:55:57,009 --> 00:55:59,204 God bless America. 661 00:56:00,112 --> 00:56:03,615 You know, what you've done here, it's pretty great. 662 00:56:03,616 --> 00:56:06,284 Well, Farley's the one who scooped out the pineapple. 663 00:56:06,285 --> 00:56:10,152 Shut up. I mean here, this, Coolidge. 664 00:56:10,556 --> 00:56:13,718 I don't know. People seem happier. 665 00:56:13,793 --> 00:56:15,961 That's because they're thinking for themselves. 666 00:56:15,962 --> 00:56:18,363 They don't have some father figure telling them what to do. 667 00:56:18,364 --> 00:56:21,059 Oh, back to the father issues. 668 00:56:22,535 --> 00:56:24,569 You know a little bit about mine. 669 00:56:24,570 --> 00:56:27,572 - What about yours? - Well, let's see. 670 00:56:27,573 --> 00:56:30,442 My father's a sergeant. His father was a sergeant. 671 00:56:30,443 --> 00:56:32,744 He always wanted a son who was an officer. 672 00:56:32,745 --> 00:56:34,913 Guess I'm just trying to get it half right. 673 00:56:34,914 --> 00:56:39,145 Yeah, but the real question is, is this what makes you happy? 674 00:56:39,785 --> 00:56:42,320 Family makes me happy. Tradition. 675 00:56:42,321 --> 00:56:45,924 Tradition is something that keeps greeting-card companies in business. 676 00:56:45,925 --> 00:56:50,028 I think at some point you gotta say, "I'm gonna do what I wanna do, Dad. 677 00:56:50,029 --> 00:56:52,597 "So quit busting my balls". 678 00:56:52,598 --> 00:56:56,001 Yeah, I'll be sure to mention that when I have dinner with him this weekend. 679 00:56:56,002 --> 00:56:59,198 You might wanna leave out the balls part. 680 00:56:59,605 --> 00:57:01,970 We should have a toast. 681 00:57:07,580 --> 00:57:10,241 - To Coolidge. - To you. 682 00:57:11,617 --> 00:57:13,311 To us. 683 00:57:22,695 --> 00:57:24,963 Shall I take you home? 684 00:57:24,964 --> 00:57:28,400 Actually, there's something that I've heard about 685 00:57:28,401 --> 00:57:30,994 that I've been dying to see. 686 00:57:32,438 --> 00:57:34,929 My God, it's huge. 687 00:57:36,575 --> 00:57:39,635 Well, Farley and I both live here. 688 00:57:39,712 --> 00:57:41,246 Yu uses the hot tub. 689 00:57:41,247 --> 00:57:46,241 I think this is the bigger than some of the military housing I grew up in. 690 00:57:46,752 --> 00:57:49,020 I think it's a lot like me. 691 00:57:49,021 --> 00:57:53,753 Simple yet elegant. Coarse but refined, 692 00:57:54,093 --> 00:57:57,653 and it could definitely use a woman's 693 00:57:58,597 --> 00:58:00,131 touch. 694 00:58:00,132 --> 00:58:02,862 I've always wanted to do that. 695 00:58:12,078 --> 00:58:14,876 The amputated leg strikes again. 696 00:58:15,681 --> 00:58:19,451 - Are your roommates around? - I sent them to the movies. 697 00:58:19,452 --> 00:58:23,421 - So they'll be back soon. - I sent them to all the movies. 698 00:58:23,422 --> 00:58:24,956 That's good. 699 00:58:24,957 --> 00:58:28,526 With Dirk, I always felt like someone was gonna break down the door. 700 00:58:28,527 --> 00:58:30,392 Don't move! 701 00:58:31,063 --> 00:58:33,190 Search the place. 702 00:58:33,466 --> 00:58:35,633 Are you in some kind of trouble? 703 00:58:35,634 --> 00:58:40,305 Either that, or the library has seriously changed its overdue-book policy. 704 00:58:40,306 --> 00:58:43,074 We got an anonymous tip that there are some illegal narcotics 705 00:58:43,075 --> 00:58:45,941 being hidden in the plant thingy. 706 00:58:48,280 --> 00:58:51,681 There's nothing in the bag. It's empty, sir. 707 00:58:52,585 --> 00:58:54,575 False alarm. 708 00:58:56,122 --> 00:58:58,852 You kids have a nice evening. 709 00:59:00,659 --> 00:59:03,787 Oh, and don't forget to wrap it up. 710 00:59:07,600 --> 00:59:09,897 What just happened? 711 00:59:12,605 --> 00:59:15,232 What wrong with Colossus? 712 00:59:15,941 --> 00:59:19,177 Damn, yo, that dog is mad blazed. 713 00:59:19,178 --> 00:59:21,976 He must've eaten a whole pound. 714 00:59:22,648 --> 00:59:27,847 Hey, don't be lookin' at me, man. I keep my stuff right here. 715 00:59:29,655 --> 00:59:31,055 Hydroponic. 716 00:59:31,056 --> 00:59:33,491 You know, messing with me is one thing, 717 00:59:33,492 --> 00:59:36,051 but nobody screws my pooch. 718 00:59:36,061 --> 00:59:37,896 It's Dirk. It's gotta be. 719 00:59:37,897 --> 00:59:40,999 He's trying to get even with me for breaking up with him. 720 00:59:41,000 --> 00:59:43,067 You two broke up? 721 00:59:43,068 --> 00:59:44,936 Sorry to hear that. 722 00:59:44,937 --> 00:59:48,065 I just can't believe he'd go this far. 723 00:59:49,008 --> 00:59:51,042 I don't think he did. 724 00:59:51,043 --> 00:59:55,343 I think old Dirky boy's playing Vanna to someone else's Sajak. 725 00:59:55,681 --> 00:59:58,843 And now it's our turn to spin the wheel. 726 00:59:59,185 --> 01:00:01,352 What do you mean, he wasn't arrested? 727 01:00:01,353 --> 01:00:03,121 We didn't find any drugs. 728 01:00:03,122 --> 01:00:06,457 Officer, can you tell me why, at such a fine institute 729 01:00:06,458 --> 01:00:10,052 of higher learning, I'm surrounded by idiots? 730 01:00:10,062 --> 01:00:13,364 - It's time for your massage, sir. - Send them in. 731 01:00:13,365 --> 01:00:16,026 Get out. You're incompetent. 732 01:00:21,607 --> 01:00:24,439 One? I usually have two girls. 733 01:00:25,477 --> 01:00:28,207 Me no disappoint. 734 01:00:30,449 --> 01:00:32,644 Holy Schwarzkopf. 735 01:00:32,985 --> 01:00:34,747 Oh, yeah. 736 01:00:42,595 --> 01:00:44,410 Hairy, hairy chest. I like it! 737 01:00:44,411 --> 01:00:46,264 Hairy, hairy chest. I like it! 738 01:00:46,265 --> 01:00:48,995 Hello. Is this Mrs. Reardon? 739 01:00:52,538 --> 01:00:56,872 Big, strong Gl. 740 01:00:57,376 --> 01:01:00,378 You know, you Charlie ain't so bad. 741 01:01:00,379 --> 01:01:03,313 Shame we had to beat you in 'Nam. 742 01:01:06,785 --> 01:01:11,381 - You want happy ending? - Does an Arab shit in the sand? 743 01:01:16,228 --> 01:01:21,131 - What's this? - Not polite to watch, only to feel. 744 01:01:25,537 --> 01:01:28,767 Why your soldier not stand at attention? 745 01:01:28,941 --> 01:01:31,033 It will, it will. 746 01:01:39,318 --> 01:01:41,376 Very good. 747 01:01:48,861 --> 01:01:52,091 This is something you'll like very much! 748 01:01:52,197 --> 01:01:54,688 I cannot wait very much. 749 01:01:55,901 --> 01:01:57,368 Yeah. 750 01:01:57,569 --> 01:02:01,561 Your soldier stand at attention now. 751 01:02:01,774 --> 01:02:04,876 - You likey, likey? - Oh, yeah, yeah. 752 01:02:04,877 --> 01:02:09,438 - You ready for mouth massage? - Bring it on. 753 01:02:10,182 --> 01:02:12,582 Here it come. 754 01:02:19,992 --> 01:02:22,483 Easy there, easy there. 755 01:02:22,995 --> 01:02:25,725 - Feel good? - Watch it. 756 01:02:25,831 --> 01:02:27,231 Watch Huck and Buck, there. 757 01:02:27,232 --> 01:02:29,097 No touching. 758 01:02:31,337 --> 01:02:33,429 That feels good. 759 01:02:40,879 --> 01:02:43,176 That is so hot. 760 01:02:51,824 --> 01:02:53,586 Charles! 761 01:03:04,703 --> 01:03:06,670 So dirty. 762 01:03:06,772 --> 01:03:10,969 I promise I will never make you do anything like that ever again. 763 01:03:12,311 --> 01:03:17,839 Given the events of this afternoon, 764 01:03:18,217 --> 01:03:20,785 there is only one thing in the world that I want. 765 01:03:20,786 --> 01:03:23,654 - A rabies shot, sir? - No, God damn it! 766 01:03:23,655 --> 01:03:25,189 I want Wilder. 767 01:03:25,190 --> 01:03:29,057 He's turned my wife against me, my school against me, 768 01:03:30,929 --> 01:03:33,795 he even turned my dog against me. 769 01:03:34,400 --> 01:03:36,167 Wish we could just kick him out! 770 01:03:36,168 --> 01:03:39,170 There's gotta be some way I could just force him to leave. 771 01:03:39,171 --> 01:03:43,574 Oh, I would love to see the look on his dad's face 772 01:03:43,575 --> 01:03:45,410 when he finds out his son is expelled. 773 01:03:45,411 --> 01:03:48,179 I would love to see the look on Kaitlin's dad's face 774 01:03:48,180 --> 01:03:50,782 when he realizes that his daughter's new boyfriend 775 01:03:50,783 --> 01:03:52,417 isn't joining the Army. 776 01:03:52,418 --> 01:03:55,011 Will you shut the hell... 777 01:03:56,622 --> 01:03:59,181 - Whose dad? - Kaitlin's. 778 01:04:02,461 --> 01:04:04,159 Lieutenant! I've got it. 779 01:04:04,730 --> 01:04:06,564 We are gonna finish Wilder. 780 01:04:06,565 --> 01:04:10,134 - And your former squeeze, too. - Yes, sir! 781 01:04:10,135 --> 01:04:13,404 In order to do that, I have a very important mission for you. 782 01:04:13,405 --> 01:04:16,305 I need you to find me some skanks. 783 01:04:17,109 --> 01:04:20,278 Well, I'm sorry Kaitlin, but it's your turn for guard duty. 784 01:04:20,279 --> 01:04:22,770 No more special treatment. 785 01:04:25,484 --> 01:04:28,782 Nothing personal, Corporal. Just be there. 786 01:04:29,621 --> 01:04:33,648 It's set. You think you can get your friends to go along? 787 01:04:34,259 --> 01:04:37,095 They'll do whatever I tell them to do. 788 01:04:37,096 --> 01:04:38,824 Awesome. 789 01:04:39,131 --> 01:04:44,364 Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God. Oh, Satan! 790 01:04:49,374 --> 01:04:52,502 What? What are you doing? Don't stop! 791 01:04:53,879 --> 01:04:55,778 Out of ammo. 792 01:04:57,382 --> 01:04:58,906 Hand me your gun! 793 01:05:05,891 --> 01:05:07,824 Ten-hut! 794 01:05:09,595 --> 01:05:11,756 I taught him that. 795 01:05:17,970 --> 01:05:19,960 What's wrong? 796 01:05:20,806 --> 01:05:22,568 It's Dirk. 797 01:05:22,908 --> 01:05:25,009 He knew I was going to dinner tonight with my father, 798 01:05:25,010 --> 01:05:28,604 and he deliberately scheduled me for guard duty. 799 01:05:28,747 --> 01:05:30,612 So don't go. 800 01:05:30,983 --> 01:05:34,085 Van, guard duty isn't something you can just shrug off. 801 01:05:34,086 --> 01:05:37,955 If you miss it, or screw up, it can ruin your career. It's serious. 802 01:05:37,956 --> 01:05:41,619 Which is exactly how the boys and I will treat it. 803 01:05:41,827 --> 01:05:45,363 - You're gonna do it? - Hey, I know it's not toilets, 804 01:05:45,364 --> 01:05:47,957 but I think I can handle it. 805 01:05:49,835 --> 01:05:52,326 What, don't you trust me? 806 01:05:52,571 --> 01:05:54,436 I trust you. 807 01:06:13,219 --> 01:06:16,354 You will not get inside Colonel Reardon's Humvee. 808 01:06:16,355 --> 01:06:21,485 You do not touch the Humvee. You do not look at the Humvee. 809 01:06:21,493 --> 01:06:22,961 Then how are we supposed to guard them? 810 01:06:22,962 --> 01:06:25,692 You do not look at the Humvee! 811 01:06:27,566 --> 01:06:29,090 Now, 812 01:06:30,469 --> 01:06:34,769 this guard duty better come out smooth as a bran muffin shit, 813 01:06:35,307 --> 01:06:38,901 or somebody's gonna have their ass handed to 'em. 814 01:06:39,511 --> 01:06:41,279 Any questions? 815 01:06:41,280 --> 01:06:44,578 Will you be the one doing the ass handling? 816 01:06:47,386 --> 01:06:51,117 Don't worry, Wilder. Yours is coming. 817 01:06:55,894 --> 01:06:59,022 I am really starting to like that guy. 818 01:07:06,305 --> 01:07:11,075 - So, how's college? - It's great. 819 01:07:11,076 --> 01:07:14,679 I'm taking a lot of interesting courses. Military history, psychology... 820 01:07:14,680 --> 01:07:17,181 You know, Dirk called me the other day. 821 01:07:17,182 --> 01:07:19,980 Said you had broken up with him. 822 01:07:20,119 --> 01:07:22,450 Yeah, well, 823 01:07:23,188 --> 01:07:25,485 I met somebody else. 824 01:07:26,392 --> 01:07:28,026 He a military man? 825 01:07:28,027 --> 01:07:31,860 He respects the military. 826 01:07:34,333 --> 01:07:36,027 Ladies. 827 01:07:36,435 --> 01:07:40,234 Irving! You invited the "dick" girls? 828 01:07:40,506 --> 01:07:42,573 This is a bad idea. 829 01:07:42,574 --> 01:07:45,167 Van, don't be such a dork. 830 01:07:46,879 --> 01:07:48,937 Howdy, heathen. 831 01:07:52,584 --> 01:07:54,419 Well, honey, with school and Dirk, 832 01:07:54,420 --> 01:07:56,788 and everything that's been going on around here, 833 01:07:56,789 --> 01:07:59,290 I just wanna know one thing. Are you... 834 01:07:59,291 --> 01:08:02,282 - Yes, Dad. I'm happy. - That's great. 835 01:08:02,428 --> 01:08:06,386 But are you still on track for officer training school? 836 01:08:11,103 --> 01:08:12,570 Listen, guys. 837 01:08:12,571 --> 01:08:15,673 Maybe we should slow down just a little bit. 838 01:08:15,674 --> 01:08:19,110 I am Mars, god of war! 839 01:08:19,111 --> 01:08:23,240 Who amongst you shall engage in body shots? 840 01:08:25,918 --> 01:08:29,649 Hey, soldier! Wanna fuck? 841 01:08:32,791 --> 01:08:34,525 No. Thank you. 842 01:08:34,526 --> 01:08:36,459 I do anal. 843 01:08:39,398 --> 01:08:42,667 Corporal Hayes. As you were, as you were. 844 01:08:42,668 --> 01:08:45,036 I was on the other side of the restaurant. I didn't see you. 845 01:08:45,037 --> 01:08:47,171 It's a pleasure to meet you, sir. 846 01:08:47,172 --> 01:08:49,273 The pleasure's all mine, Sergeant. I didn't realize Miss Hayes 847 01:08:49,274 --> 01:08:51,742 came from such good stock. 848 01:08:51,877 --> 01:08:55,847 Well, hopefully she will climb a bit higher up the ladder than I did, sir. 849 01:08:55,848 --> 01:08:59,283 I have no doubt, Sergeant. Kaitlin is officer material all the way. 850 01:08:59,284 --> 01:09:01,119 Her record is flawless. 851 01:09:01,120 --> 01:09:03,254 Say, you're about done here. I was just heading back to the base. 852 01:09:03,255 --> 01:09:06,924 Would you like a tour? You could see your daughter's unit in action. 853 01:09:06,925 --> 01:09:08,593 I don't think that's such a good idea. 854 01:09:08,594 --> 01:09:11,221 - I'd love to, sir. - Dad! 855 01:09:11,363 --> 01:09:13,765 I'm really proud of you. Love to see it. 856 01:09:13,766 --> 01:09:15,466 Come on. Show off for your old man. Let's go. 857 01:09:15,467 --> 01:09:16,934 - Please? - Okay. 858 01:09:16,935 --> 01:09:20,233 - You're gonna enjoy this. - Thank you, sir. 859 01:09:22,107 --> 01:09:24,776 Oh, you know what? I forgot my purse, so I'll meet you outside, okay? 860 01:09:24,777 --> 01:09:26,869 - All right. - Okay. 861 01:09:28,313 --> 01:09:30,214 You know what I wanna do to you? 862 01:09:30,215 --> 01:09:32,750 Leave me alone permanently? 863 01:09:32,751 --> 01:09:36,087 Hey, watch that! Hey, stop... Hey! 864 01:09:36,088 --> 01:09:37,953 No means no. 865 01:09:48,167 --> 01:09:50,760 Come on, Van. Pick up. 866 01:09:53,639 --> 01:09:55,504 Miss Hayes. 867 01:09:55,707 --> 01:09:57,504 Shall we? 868 01:10:13,125 --> 01:10:16,890 You're about to be very proud about what you'll see. 869 01:10:22,100 --> 01:10:24,932 What in God's name... 870 01:10:26,672 --> 01:10:30,300 Kaitlin, this is your unit? 871 01:10:30,909 --> 01:10:33,240 For the last time, no! 872 01:10:33,312 --> 01:10:34,972 Van? 873 01:10:37,783 --> 01:10:40,478 You must be Kaitlin's father. 874 01:10:41,186 --> 01:10:45,056 Corporal Hayes, I thought you were a better leader than this. 875 01:10:45,057 --> 01:10:47,758 I thought you were officer material. 876 01:10:47,759 --> 01:10:50,094 Do you understand what the consequences of this will be? 877 01:10:50,095 --> 01:10:52,263 - Colonel Reardon, I... - She will accept 878 01:10:52,264 --> 01:10:55,597 any punishment you deem fit, sir. 879 01:10:55,767 --> 01:10:57,996 Wait. I can explain. 880 01:10:58,103 --> 01:11:00,537 Kaitlin, let me explain. 881 01:11:01,974 --> 01:11:05,034 - That a boy, Dirk. - My pleasure, sir. 882 01:11:05,077 --> 01:11:07,272 Let's go, Kaitlin. 883 01:11:08,113 --> 01:11:09,637 Now. 884 01:11:09,748 --> 01:11:11,909 You're disgusting. 885 01:11:14,419 --> 01:11:16,147 Call me. 886 01:11:20,225 --> 01:11:23,694 You realize it's my duty to make a report of this. 887 01:11:23,695 --> 01:11:27,532 Gonna put a pretty big stain on her pretty little record. 888 01:11:27,533 --> 01:11:30,735 But it's about time you learn there are some people you don't fuck with. 889 01:11:30,736 --> 01:11:32,637 What do you want from me? 890 01:11:32,638 --> 01:11:36,140 Isn't it obvious? I want you gone, out, quit. 891 01:11:36,141 --> 01:11:39,110 Running home to Daddy with your tail between your legs. 892 01:11:39,111 --> 01:11:40,845 What if I say no? 893 01:11:40,846 --> 01:11:43,381 Well, then I guess Miss Hayes' military career will be coming 894 01:11:43,382 --> 01:11:46,476 to a rather premature and ignoble end. 895 01:11:47,486 --> 01:11:48,920 Tell you what. 896 01:11:48,921 --> 01:11:50,755 Having some people over for dinner tomorrow night 897 01:11:50,756 --> 01:11:52,657 to discuss our annual war games. 898 01:11:52,658 --> 01:11:54,959 Why don't you give me your decision then? 899 01:11:54,960 --> 01:11:57,052 Good seeing you. 900 01:13:40,532 --> 01:13:42,829 A Wilder never quits. 901 01:13:43,402 --> 01:13:46,203 So I said, "I've got some affirmative action for you. 902 01:13:46,204 --> 01:13:48,239 "I can affirm that your dumbass kid won't be getting 903 01:13:48,240 --> 01:13:50,765 "any action at my school". 904 01:13:52,344 --> 01:13:53,833 Yo! 905 01:13:53,845 --> 01:13:55,812 Cap'n Crunch! 906 01:13:57,249 --> 01:13:59,183 I've made my decision. 907 01:13:59,184 --> 01:14:02,219 I've decided we should settle this, once and for all. 908 01:14:02,220 --> 01:14:05,890 Like men. No more sneaking, no more backstabbing. 909 01:14:05,891 --> 01:14:09,383 Let's just get it all right out in the open. 910 01:14:10,028 --> 01:14:11,796 I'm sorry, I don't know what you're talking about. 911 01:14:11,797 --> 01:14:14,665 You've got a problem with my father, 912 01:14:14,666 --> 01:14:18,235 a problem with my name, and that's too bad. 913 01:14:18,236 --> 01:14:21,772 But I'll be damned if I'm gonna sit around and let you 914 01:14:21,773 --> 01:14:25,743 and your little peons flush this school down the toilet 915 01:14:25,744 --> 01:14:27,344 and hurt the people I care about, 916 01:14:27,345 --> 01:14:29,947 because, even though you dragged her into this, 917 01:14:29,948 --> 01:14:33,150 this has never really been about Kaitlin, who, 918 01:14:33,151 --> 01:14:37,883 on her worst day, will be a better officer than you ever were. 919 01:14:38,824 --> 01:14:43,727 That girl's got bigger balls than you, me, and my freakish dog combined. 920 01:14:44,162 --> 01:14:49,066 I have had enough of these little games, Wilder. 921 01:14:49,067 --> 01:14:50,761 Get out. 922 01:14:51,036 --> 01:14:52,798 Games? 923 01:14:53,438 --> 01:14:55,172 You wanna play games? 924 01:14:55,173 --> 01:14:58,870 How about one of your precious little war games? 925 01:14:59,578 --> 01:15:02,880 Loser leaves Coolidge. For good. 926 01:15:02,881 --> 01:15:05,542 What do you think about that? 927 01:15:05,784 --> 01:15:09,754 I think you're in for an old-fashioned ass-kicking, son. 928 01:15:09,755 --> 01:15:12,985 If I was your son, I'd kick my own ass. 929 01:15:19,231 --> 01:15:21,028 I'm sorry. 930 01:15:25,871 --> 01:15:28,965 You're finished, Wilder. Finished. 931 01:15:30,442 --> 01:15:33,677 Miss Hayes, in light of Mr. Wilder's behavior 932 01:15:33,678 --> 01:15:36,947 I am going to remove last night's incident from your record, 933 01:15:36,948 --> 01:15:40,684 and I am giving you my official recommendation 934 01:15:40,685 --> 01:15:42,820 for officer training school. 935 01:15:42,821 --> 01:15:44,811 Thank you, sir. 936 01:15:44,990 --> 01:15:47,558 But I'm afraid I'll have to decline. 937 01:15:47,559 --> 01:15:49,827 The officer training school only accepts those who have 938 01:15:49,828 --> 01:15:52,029 received the most honorable training. 939 01:15:52,030 --> 01:15:56,125 Your name on my recommendation would render me ineligible. 940 01:15:57,402 --> 01:16:00,530 In other words, sir, go fuck yourself! 941 01:16:05,388 --> 01:16:07,323 None of this is gonna work. 942 01:16:07,324 --> 01:16:10,392 We need a man who actually knows what the hell he's doing. 943 01:16:10,393 --> 01:16:12,520 How about a woman? 944 01:16:19,736 --> 01:16:23,603 Kaitlin, I swear to God, I never touched her. 945 01:16:24,241 --> 01:16:27,039 Okay? It was man rape. 946 01:16:27,577 --> 01:16:30,807 Save it. I only wanna know one thing. 947 01:16:32,282 --> 01:16:35,717 Are you ready to enter an alliance, neighbor? 948 01:16:41,358 --> 01:16:43,587 It seems he is. 949 01:16:43,727 --> 01:16:46,457 Okay, enough of the soft stuff. 950 01:16:47,230 --> 01:16:49,298 Reardon's got us outnumbered five to one, 951 01:16:49,299 --> 01:16:52,234 so there's no way we can take him head on. 952 01:16:52,235 --> 01:16:54,169 We're gonna fight him on our own terms. 953 01:16:54,170 --> 01:16:55,838 What do we do? 954 01:16:55,839 --> 01:16:59,968 We do the only thing you guys know how to do. We have fun. 955 01:17:03,613 --> 01:17:07,549 Anyone who loses an armband will be considered captured. 956 01:17:07,550 --> 01:17:10,252 Whoever captures the other team's general wins. 957 01:17:10,253 --> 01:17:13,055 Reardon's Raiders, who's your general? 958 01:17:13,056 --> 01:17:15,491 Charles Stonewall Reardon, sir! 959 01:17:15,492 --> 01:17:18,360 Your team will wear the yellow bands. 960 01:17:18,361 --> 01:17:21,295 Team Maverick, who's your general? 961 01:17:23,233 --> 01:17:25,325 That would be me. 962 01:17:26,903 --> 01:17:30,201 How's it hanging, Chuck? You miss me? 963 01:17:32,208 --> 01:17:33,834 Hey. 964 01:17:34,844 --> 01:17:37,904 Your team will wear the orange bands. 965 01:17:38,281 --> 01:17:41,443 The game begins when you hear the siren. 966 01:17:42,385 --> 01:17:44,853 I hope you're prepared, gentlemen. 967 01:17:44,854 --> 01:17:47,413 Someone's going home today. 968 01:17:50,560 --> 01:17:54,296 All right, let's listen up. First squad, take the left flank, 969 01:17:54,297 --> 01:17:58,665 past the lake. Second squad, right flank. 970 01:17:58,902 --> 01:18:01,427 Third squad, head on. 971 01:18:01,938 --> 01:18:04,201 And our recon team, 972 01:18:04,341 --> 01:18:07,676 well, let's just say they have a head start. 973 01:18:07,677 --> 01:18:09,211 Lieutenant Arnold will stay with me. 974 01:18:09,212 --> 01:18:11,613 Corporal Benedict, you'll guard the Humvee. 975 01:18:11,614 --> 01:18:13,182 All right, men, there's the siren. 976 01:18:13,183 --> 01:18:14,950 Now, let's get these bastards! 977 01:18:14,951 --> 01:18:17,078 - Raiders! - Raiders! 978 01:18:18,388 --> 01:18:20,689 Colonel, we got recon on the radio for you. 979 01:18:20,690 --> 01:18:23,158 Recon, report. Can you see their base? 980 01:18:23,159 --> 01:18:25,361 - I have a visual, sir. - What's going on? 981 01:18:25,362 --> 01:18:27,830 - Shots, sir. - Jesus Christ, they're firing at us? 982 01:18:27,831 --> 01:18:30,165 No, sir. Jell-O shots. 983 01:18:30,166 --> 01:18:32,534 I repeat, Jell-O shots. They've got the blast! 984 01:18:32,535 --> 01:18:35,037 - They've got explosives? - No, sir. 985 01:18:35,038 --> 01:18:39,440 The Jell-O shots with a blueberry blast. It's my favorite, sir. 986 01:18:39,642 --> 01:18:40,709 What the hell's he talking about? 987 01:18:40,710 --> 01:18:41,844 Sounds like they're having a goddamn... 988 01:18:41,845 --> 01:18:45,337 Party! 989 01:18:54,824 --> 01:18:57,952 So, where did all this sand come from? 990 01:18:58,061 --> 01:19:00,859 Thank Sheik Mohammad. 991 01:19:01,865 --> 01:19:03,389 Who? 992 01:19:07,637 --> 01:19:09,538 - How we doing? - We're up. 993 01:19:09,539 --> 01:19:11,973 Give Reardon the feed. 994 01:19:14,010 --> 01:19:15,811 Recon report. 995 01:19:15,812 --> 01:19:18,313 Sir. Something's happening with the monitor. 996 01:19:18,314 --> 01:19:19,982 Testing, testing, check, check, hello. 997 01:19:19,983 --> 01:19:23,646 I'm sorry, they can't come to the phone right now. 998 01:19:23,653 --> 01:19:24,987 Would you like to leave a message? 999 01:19:24,988 --> 01:19:27,623 How the hell did you eliminate my men? 1000 01:19:27,624 --> 01:19:31,651 Chuck, "eliminate" is such an ugly word. 1001 01:19:32,062 --> 01:19:34,496 Van Wilder rules! 1002 01:19:40,336 --> 01:19:42,538 You tell first squad to move in. 1003 01:19:42,539 --> 01:19:45,507 And have Benedict on standby with my Humvee. 1004 01:19:45,508 --> 01:19:47,703 Corporal Benedict! 1005 01:19:49,913 --> 01:19:51,246 Yes, sir! 1006 01:19:51,247 --> 01:19:53,015 Stand by for deployment. 1007 01:19:53,016 --> 01:19:54,249 Yes, sir. 1008 01:19:54,250 --> 01:19:56,518 You heard him! Stand by for deployment! 1009 01:19:56,519 --> 01:19:58,247 That way! 1010 01:20:10,133 --> 01:20:12,032 Hey, guys! 1011 01:20:14,704 --> 01:20:17,069 Come skinny-dipping! 1012 01:20:22,712 --> 01:20:24,509 What the hell? 1013 01:20:26,116 --> 01:20:28,982 I seen this in a porno once. 1014 01:20:29,352 --> 01:20:31,720 - Have you seen this before? - Don't be scared. 1015 01:20:31,721 --> 01:20:33,688 Jump in, baby. 1016 01:20:39,996 --> 01:20:41,861 Wait for me! 1017 01:20:58,781 --> 01:21:01,841 First squad, report! Report, damn it! 1018 01:21:02,986 --> 01:21:06,455 Sorry about your troops, Chuck, but they decided to make love, 1019 01:21:06,456 --> 01:21:08,150 not war. 1020 01:21:11,861 --> 01:21:13,851 Son of a bitch. 1021 01:21:14,998 --> 01:21:16,829 Gotta conga. 1022 01:21:29,579 --> 01:21:31,239 Hello! 1023 01:21:31,281 --> 01:21:35,918 - Sir, we found their general. - I hooked myself into a sand trap. 1024 01:21:35,919 --> 01:21:39,555 Well, don't just stand there, capture him, you jackass! 1025 01:21:39,556 --> 01:21:41,284 Grab him! 1026 01:21:45,295 --> 01:21:47,990 Give me the armband, General. 1027 01:21:48,431 --> 01:21:51,126 I told you it was a sand trap. 1028 01:21:54,404 --> 01:21:56,064 Ladies. 1029 01:22:02,845 --> 01:22:04,835 I still got it. 1030 01:22:05,048 --> 01:22:07,607 Well, did they get him? 1031 01:22:07,717 --> 01:22:09,582 Not exactly. 1032 01:22:15,391 --> 01:22:17,659 - Permission to get angry, sir. - Denied. 1033 01:22:17,660 --> 01:22:19,457 Denied! 1034 01:22:31,874 --> 01:22:34,433 Wet your whistle? 1035 01:22:36,212 --> 01:22:39,514 Where the hell is third squad? They should've been there by now. 1036 01:22:39,515 --> 01:22:44,418 Hey, Chuck! I just wanna let you know, third squad took a little detour. 1037 01:22:50,093 --> 01:22:52,561 God damn you, Wilder! 1038 01:22:54,330 --> 01:22:55,731 Well, what are you doing just standing there? 1039 01:22:55,732 --> 01:22:58,634 Why don't you pussies get out there and get me Van Wilder? 1040 01:22:58,635 --> 01:23:01,262 - Go! - Get out there! Move! Move! 1041 01:23:08,411 --> 01:23:10,746 I can't feel my hair anymore, man. 1042 01:23:10,747 --> 01:23:13,181 That means it's working. 1043 01:23:16,653 --> 01:23:19,621 I wouldn't go any farther if I were you. 1044 01:23:19,622 --> 01:23:22,420 Yeah, who's gonna stop us? You? 1045 01:23:27,530 --> 01:23:29,224 Exactly. 1046 01:23:44,514 --> 01:23:46,879 Is that all you've got? 1047 01:24:20,083 --> 01:24:22,451 - I'll go after them, sir. - No! 1048 01:24:22,452 --> 01:24:24,386 Get me Corporal Benedict. 1049 01:24:24,387 --> 01:24:27,856 We'll take the Humvee and run right over 'em. 1050 01:24:29,592 --> 01:24:31,593 You're a genius. 1051 01:24:31,594 --> 01:24:33,721 Corporal Benedict. 1052 01:24:34,564 --> 01:24:36,691 Corporal Benedict! 1053 01:24:37,433 --> 01:24:40,669 Dirk, have I ever told you I love you, man? 1054 01:24:40,670 --> 01:24:43,538 We all love you. Yeah! 1055 01:24:43,539 --> 01:24:45,741 - What? - It's so soft, sir. 1056 01:24:45,742 --> 01:24:48,676 Have you felt the helmets? 1057 01:24:49,612 --> 01:24:52,672 Rub your helmet with me, it's so soft. 1058 01:24:52,682 --> 01:24:55,241 You fucking fruitcake! 1059 01:24:58,054 --> 01:25:01,250 - What was that? - Don't ask, don't tell. 1060 01:25:02,492 --> 01:25:06,928 Okay, Chuck. We got your boys. Why don't you and little Dirky 1061 01:25:06,929 --> 01:25:08,296 surrender and join the party? 1062 01:25:08,297 --> 01:25:12,233 Never. Surrender? Surrender? 1063 01:25:12,635 --> 01:25:15,228 I'd rather see my uncle naked again. 1064 01:25:22,078 --> 01:25:23,545 It was an accident. 1065 01:25:23,546 --> 01:25:27,311 If you want me, Wilder, you have to come and get me. 1066 01:25:28,317 --> 01:25:30,682 - Shall we? - Let's. 1067 01:25:32,889 --> 01:25:36,984 Get out there and stop them! Now! Go! 1068 01:25:37,026 --> 01:25:39,460 He's a little pissant! 1069 01:25:40,997 --> 01:25:42,464 Let me go with you. 1070 01:25:42,465 --> 01:25:46,799 Sorry, Dad, but this is one fight I need to finish on my own. 1071 01:25:49,972 --> 01:25:52,702 - Go get him. - Let's do it. 1072 01:26:05,655 --> 01:26:07,144 There's the base! 1073 01:26:12,662 --> 01:26:14,424 Kaitlin. 1074 01:26:15,198 --> 01:26:17,399 I knew you'd come back for me. 1075 01:26:17,400 --> 01:26:20,302 What do you say? I go high, you go low? 1076 01:26:20,303 --> 01:26:24,398 No. This asshole's all mine. Go. 1077 01:26:24,740 --> 01:26:27,299 - You sure? - Yep, I got it. 1078 01:26:32,949 --> 01:26:35,383 Come to papa, honeybear. 1079 01:26:39,589 --> 01:26:41,681 You got nothin'. 1080 01:26:45,294 --> 01:26:48,763 - I could do this all day. - That'd be a first. 1081 01:26:48,764 --> 01:26:53,166 Your hair smells really nice. What is that, Essence of Traitor? 1082 01:27:01,577 --> 01:27:03,840 - Not so fast. - Chuck. 1083 01:27:04,313 --> 01:27:05,973 Get up. 1084 01:27:07,483 --> 01:27:09,245 Hot stuff. 1085 01:27:10,319 --> 01:27:12,343 You smell good. 1086 01:27:12,355 --> 01:27:15,585 Wish you fought this hard in the bedroom. 1087 01:27:18,160 --> 01:27:21,963 See, this is why women will never make it in the military. 1088 01:27:21,964 --> 01:27:24,864 You got nothing between your legs. 1089 01:27:26,002 --> 01:27:27,469 Shit! 1090 01:27:29,739 --> 01:27:33,231 Yeah? Well, that makes two of us, honeybear. 1091 01:27:38,514 --> 01:27:40,181 Nice BB gun. 1092 01:27:40,182 --> 01:27:43,048 I got one just like it at home. 1093 01:27:44,554 --> 01:27:45,754 Maybe not. 1094 01:27:45,755 --> 01:27:48,490 Let me tell you what's wrong with you Wilders. 1095 01:27:48,491 --> 01:27:52,661 You think you can change the world just because people like you. 1096 01:27:52,662 --> 01:27:56,498 Well, here's a tip, son, people are like cockroaches. 1097 01:27:56,499 --> 01:27:59,763 You crush a few, the rest will scatter. 1098 01:28:03,005 --> 01:28:04,471 - I'm sorry, what? I was texting. - Funny. 1099 01:28:04,472 --> 01:28:06,369 - I'm sorry, what? I was texting. - Funny. 1100 01:28:06,876 --> 01:28:09,207 But the last laugh is mine. 1101 01:28:14,784 --> 01:28:16,774 God damn dog! 1102 01:28:20,489 --> 01:28:24,015 Like I said, nobody screws my pooch. 1103 01:28:25,494 --> 01:28:27,052 Sit! 1104 01:28:27,730 --> 01:28:29,492 Good boy. 1105 01:28:37,039 --> 01:28:39,166 Orange team wins! 1106 01:28:43,512 --> 01:28:46,081 Wilder, this isn't over. 1107 01:28:46,082 --> 01:28:48,717 And if you think I'm quitting, you are screwed in the head. 1108 01:28:48,718 --> 01:28:53,455 Hey! Listen up! I am doubling security! 1109 01:28:53,456 --> 01:28:55,256 And I am rewriting the rule book! 1110 01:28:55,257 --> 01:28:59,090 I'm gonna make the old Coolidge look like Candy Land! 1111 01:28:59,595 --> 01:29:01,896 And you can't stop me. 1112 01:29:01,897 --> 01:29:04,365 No. But he can. 1113 01:29:07,103 --> 01:29:09,237 Thomas, what the hell are you doing? You can't side with him. 1114 01:29:09,238 --> 01:29:12,374 - He's not one of us. - You made your bed, soldier. 1115 01:29:12,375 --> 01:29:15,935 Now you're gonna have to sleep in it. Officer! 1116 01:29:16,212 --> 01:29:18,313 - Get him out of here. - Hey, I'm not going anywhere. 1117 01:29:18,314 --> 01:29:20,181 Remember who stamps your paycheck. 1118 01:29:20,182 --> 01:29:23,118 - Are you resisting arrest? - You're damned right I am! 1119 01:29:23,119 --> 01:29:24,916 Thank you. 1120 01:29:27,590 --> 01:29:30,888 This is for putting up with your bullshit. 1121 01:29:31,093 --> 01:29:32,855 And this 1122 01:29:34,163 --> 01:29:37,097 is for denying my kid's admission. 1123 01:29:37,199 --> 01:29:40,361 How affirmative is that action, bitch? 1124 01:29:47,743 --> 01:29:52,747 Corporal, those were about some of the most outrageous tactics I've ever seen. 1125 01:29:52,748 --> 01:29:54,949 I'll be sure to note that in my recommendation 1126 01:29:54,950 --> 01:29:57,543 for officer training school. 1127 01:30:04,201 --> 01:30:06,336 I'm proud of you, Son. 1128 01:30:06,337 --> 01:30:07,937 - Hey. - Hey. 1129 01:30:07,938 --> 01:30:12,374 Van, I'd like you to meet Stephen Walker, my head of security. 1130 01:30:14,312 --> 01:30:18,942 Mr. Wilder, I'm hereby tendering my resignation for this assignment. 1131 01:30:19,016 --> 01:30:20,116 Very good. 1132 01:30:20,117 --> 01:30:22,852 It's been the utmost pleasure working with you, sir. 1133 01:30:22,853 --> 01:30:25,722 - Yeah. - Great work, Steve. 1134 01:30:25,723 --> 01:30:29,351 I'll see you back at the office, all right? Good. 1135 01:30:30,367 --> 01:30:33,269 - So, what do you think? - About what? 1136 01:30:33,270 --> 01:30:37,473 Oh, I think you've proven yourself here. Wanna come to work with me? 1137 01:30:37,474 --> 01:30:40,643 Actually, I've been giving it a lot of thought, 1138 01:30:40,644 --> 01:30:42,846 and I've decided to stay in school. 1139 01:30:42,847 --> 01:30:45,748 A smart man once told me that tradition 1140 01:30:45,749 --> 01:30:48,649 is something you just don't break. 1141 01:30:50,321 --> 01:30:52,379 Write that down. 1142 01:30:52,656 --> 01:30:54,418 Let's go. 1143 01:31:02,366 --> 01:31:06,495 - So, you wanna get out of here? - And miss the party? 1144 01:31:07,304 --> 01:31:09,032 Trust me. 1145 01:31:10,007 --> 01:31:12,134 There'll be more. 1146 01:31:17,948 --> 01:31:21,076 Wait, where's that batti boy, Dirk? 1147 01:31:23,220 --> 01:31:27,590 Sir, I don't mean to alarm you, but something's about to come up. 1148 01:31:27,591 --> 01:31:29,893 What do you mean, something's about... 1149 01:31:29,894 --> 01:31:31,828 - Stand down, Corporal! - I can't. 1150 01:31:31,829 --> 01:31:33,557 Stand... 1151 01:31:45,876 --> 01:31:48,611 Remember when I said the best things in life are worth waiting for? 1152 01:31:48,612 --> 01:31:51,781 - Yeah. - I think I've waited long enough. 1153 01:31:51,782 --> 01:31:53,374 Van! 1154 01:31:54,985 --> 01:31:58,454 Van, what are you doing? Put that away. 1155 01:31:59,490 --> 01:32:02,151 You're insane. Not here. 1156 01:32:03,305 --> 01:32:09,688 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.SubtitleDB.org 87970