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1
00:00:01,102 --> 00:00:03,647
Okay, only six more days
2
00:00:03,672 --> 00:00:06,589
till you, me, Andi and Marcy
are on a plane to Vegas.
3
00:00:06,650 --> 00:00:07,667
Oh,
4
00:00:07,669 --> 00:00:10,059
we have been planning
this trip for three years
5
00:00:10,084 --> 00:00:12,773
and something always,
always screws it up.
6
00:00:12,775 --> 00:00:14,665
Well, it was your fault
we canceled last year.
7
00:00:14,690 --> 00:00:16,543
You had to go out and
get food poisoning.
8
00:00:17,125 --> 00:00:20,213
Yeah, because you cooked me fish
you bought from a guy in a van.
9
00:00:20,952 --> 00:00:24,181
He was wearing a captain's
hat. He seemed legit.
10
00:00:24,697 --> 00:00:27,264
And the year before that,
you had to pet that coyote.
11
00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:29,322
He came right up to me.
12
00:00:29,956 --> 00:00:33,945
Okay, for the next six
days, we play it safe.
13
00:00:33,970 --> 00:00:36,846
No dares, no bets,
14
00:00:36,906 --> 00:00:40,205
no making the crew laugh
with your nail gun tricks.
15
00:00:40,536 --> 00:00:42,622
Nothing is gonna get
in the way of our trip.
16
00:00:42,647 --> 00:00:43,458
All right?
17
00:00:43,483 --> 00:00:45,147
Did you confirm the hotel reservation?
18
00:00:45,172 --> 00:00:46,371
Yeah, I even talked them into
19
00:00:46,396 --> 00:00:47,929
giving us the convention discount.
20
00:00:47,931 --> 00:00:49,430
Uh-huh.
21
00:00:49,432 --> 00:00:50,999
Okay, what's the catch?
22
00:00:51,001 --> 00:00:52,892
No catch. Just, someone's gonna have to
23
00:00:52,917 --> 00:00:54,335
pretend to be a podiatrist.
24
00:00:54,337 --> 00:00:56,804
And, um, possibly give
a quick 90-minute speech.
25
00:00:59,843 --> 00:01:02,176
Hey, Emme, how was ballet?
26
00:01:02,178 --> 00:01:04,279
Great, I was the cutest one.
27
00:01:06,049 --> 00:01:08,416
She's gonna be trouble, isn't she?
28
00:01:08,418 --> 00:01:09,717
Yeah, a little bit.
29
00:01:10,247 --> 00:01:12,799
Six days to Vegas.
30
00:01:12,824 --> 00:01:14,155
I know, I'm excited.
31
00:01:14,190 --> 00:01:14,673
Oh, but,
32
00:01:14,698 --> 00:01:16,258
- uh, guess what I heard at ballet?
- Hmm?
33
00:01:16,259 --> 00:01:18,345
Chad Thompson had a
birthday party last week
34
00:01:18,370 --> 00:01:19,769
and Teddy wasn't invited.
35
00:01:19,771 --> 00:01:22,338
What? Wait, which one's Chad Thompson?
36
00:01:22,340 --> 00:01:23,773
The one that calls you "toots"?
37
00:01:23,775 --> 00:01:25,226
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
38
00:01:25,251 --> 00:01:27,444
He's the one who's got the head
that's too big for his body.
39
00:01:27,446 --> 00:01:29,256
Oh, yeah, yeah,
Bubblehead Thompson, yeah.
40
00:01:29,281 --> 00:01:32,883
Yeah. I just... I
hope Teddy's not upset.
41
00:01:32,908 --> 00:01:34,617
Oh, well, let's find out.
42
00:01:34,619 --> 00:01:35,663
I don't suggest this often,
43
00:01:35,688 --> 00:01:37,320
but let's go talk to our children.
44
00:01:43,829 --> 00:01:44,961
Okay, you go.
45
00:01:46,932 --> 00:01:49,666
Why don't you go? You're closer.
46
00:01:52,005 --> 00:01:53,636
Teddy?
47
00:01:55,261 --> 00:01:58,341
Listen, uh, Mom wants to talk to you.
48
00:02:02,447 --> 00:02:04,647
So, Teddy...
49
00:02:05,190 --> 00:02:08,061
Hey, what's going on with
Chad Thompson these days?
50
00:02:08,086 --> 00:02:10,487
I-I heard he had a
birthday party last week?
51
00:02:10,952 --> 00:02:12,319
I didn't want to go to that.
52
00:02:12,344 --> 00:02:13,944
We don't really hang out anymore.
53
00:02:14,059 --> 00:02:15,592
Oh, oh.
54
00:02:15,594 --> 00:02:17,193
Well, so, who do you hang out with?
55
00:02:17,195 --> 00:02:18,928
The guys who play Astroline Rebellion,
56
00:02:18,930 --> 00:02:20,929
the greatest computer game of all time.
57
00:02:20,954 --> 00:02:22,086
Oh. Huh.
58
00:02:22,206 --> 00:02:24,206
So, kids at your school play that?
59
00:02:24,231 --> 00:02:26,147
No. I've never met them in person.
60
00:02:26,172 --> 00:02:27,438
They're online friends.
61
00:02:28,385 --> 00:02:30,373
Oh. Wow.
62
00:02:30,375 --> 00:02:33,309
That is, um... troubling?
63
00:02:34,529 --> 00:02:35,661
They're great guys...
64
00:02:35,686 --> 00:02:38,687
SpaceBoss, LonerZero, TheGoobs43.
65
00:02:38,712 --> 00:02:41,914
The-the goobs? What-what's a goobs?
66
00:02:41,987 --> 00:02:43,520
Wh-What kind of kids are these?
67
00:02:43,522 --> 00:02:44,821
They're called dorks.
68
00:02:46,460 --> 00:02:47,780
All right, but, um, sweetie,
69
00:02:47,782 --> 00:02:51,117
you-you hang out with actual
kids at your school, too, right?
70
00:02:51,119 --> 00:02:53,186
Yeah, yeah, kids you
definitely know aren't, like,
71
00:02:53,188 --> 00:02:56,055
grown men in some
Internet cafe in Bangkok.
72
00:02:57,625 --> 00:03:01,360
Not really. I'm more of an
online presence these days.
73
00:03:01,362 --> 00:03:03,162
- Oh.
- Hmm.
74
00:03:03,164 --> 00:03:06,132
Oh, I should have
taken him fishing more.
75
00:03:08,999 --> 00:03:10,352
Okay, I didn't do it sooner
76
00:03:10,377 --> 00:03:11,443
because I didn't want to jinx it.
77
00:03:11,655 --> 00:03:13,573
But I booked our flights to Vegas.
78
00:03:13,575 --> 00:03:16,409
Great news: all middle seats.
79
00:03:17,203 --> 00:03:19,180
Okay, how come we let
Don plan these trips?
80
00:03:19,205 --> 00:03:20,455
Next year, we got to make sure
81
00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:22,647
someone's in charge of making
sure he's not in charge.
82
00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:25,632
I don't if now is the
right time to go, you know?
83
00:03:25,657 --> 00:03:28,488
I mean, what, with Teddy
and the space goobers.
84
00:03:28,513 --> 00:03:31,397
What? So he's a nerd. He's happy.
85
00:03:33,194 --> 00:03:34,637
You're just saying that
'cause you want to go to Vegas.
86
00:03:34,662 --> 00:03:37,763
Yes. Yes, but also, he seems fine.
87
00:03:37,765 --> 00:03:39,866
Yeah, the world needs nerds.
88
00:03:39,868 --> 00:03:41,868
What do you think would have
happened if Bill Gates' parents
89
00:03:41,870 --> 00:03:43,669
had freaked out about
him being a nerd, huh?
90
00:03:43,671 --> 00:03:45,705
There'd be no Angry
Birds, I'll tell you that.
91
00:03:46,501 --> 00:03:48,035
I just don't want the
other kids to think
92
00:03:48,060 --> 00:03:50,085
he's weird and then
give him a hard time.
93
00:03:50,110 --> 00:03:51,878
Growing up is tough.
94
00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:54,313
You know, I don't have
any personal experience
95
00:03:54,315 --> 00:03:56,582
being an outsider, 'cause I've
always been hot and athletic.
96
00:03:56,584 --> 00:03:58,117
- Mm-hmm.
- But, um,
97
00:03:58,119 --> 00:04:00,553
- I think Don can relate.
- Mm.
98
00:04:01,523 --> 00:04:02,822
Yeah. In high school,
99
00:04:02,824 --> 00:04:04,390
Jimmy Dugan used to follow me around
100
00:04:04,392 --> 00:04:05,758
and call me a shaved gorilla.
101
00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:07,460
Oh...
102
00:04:08,728 --> 00:04:11,063
Oh, a shaved gorilla. That's a...
103
00:04:12,482 --> 00:04:15,468
Yeah, well, I was a nerd
growing up and it wasn't easy.
104
00:04:15,470 --> 00:04:17,101
You know, you're always saying that,
105
00:04:17,126 --> 00:04:18,326
but I am not buying it.
106
00:04:18,351 --> 00:04:19,939
If anything, you were a hot nerd.
107
00:04:19,941 --> 00:04:22,141
Like, uh, like Velma on Scooby-Doo.
108
00:04:24,045 --> 00:04:25,578
Ah, you think so, huh?
109
00:04:25,580 --> 00:04:26,812
Oh, yeah.
110
00:04:26,814 --> 00:04:28,147
When you wear your reading glasses...
111
00:04:29,117 --> 00:04:30,750
All right...
112
00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:34,248
Well, that's because I didn't
go to the same high school
113
00:04:34,273 --> 00:04:35,628
as the three of you.
114
00:04:35,653 --> 00:04:37,590
Okay, I am gonna tell you guys something
115
00:04:37,592 --> 00:04:39,892
I have never told anyone before.
116
00:04:40,429 --> 00:04:41,541
My freshman year...
117
00:04:41,543 --> 00:04:43,409
You slept with a teacher?
You got a boob job?
118
00:04:43,434 --> 00:04:44,964
Why is no one else guessing?
119
00:04:45,791 --> 00:04:47,099
Okay, I had just moved here
120
00:04:47,101 --> 00:04:49,322
from Virginia and I
hadn't made many friends.
121
00:04:49,347 --> 00:04:52,015
I thought, "I'm gonna make a big
splash at the homecoming game."
122
00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:53,539
So, I go to the mall.
123
00:04:53,541 --> 00:04:57,255
And there, in the window,
is a leather suit. Okay?
124
00:04:57,257 --> 00:05:00,111
Just like the one Eddie Murphy
wore in his stand-up special.
125
00:05:00,136 --> 00:05:00,989
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
126
00:05:01,014 --> 00:05:03,416
It was shiny, skintight
127
00:05:03,418 --> 00:05:04,970
and bright red.
128
00:05:04,995 --> 00:05:05,822
Oh, no.
129
00:05:05,847 --> 00:05:07,820
Oh, yeah.
130
00:05:07,968 --> 00:05:09,857
And I spent all my
babysitting money on it
131
00:05:09,882 --> 00:05:10,923
'cause I thought...
132
00:05:10,925 --> 00:05:13,125
"With this suit, I can't lose."
133
00:05:13,127 --> 00:05:15,661
I hope this works out for her.
134
00:05:16,355 --> 00:05:18,264
You're not good with tone, are you?
135
00:05:18,266 --> 00:05:19,303
Yeah,
136
00:05:19,328 --> 00:05:20,318
I realized my mistake
137
00:05:20,343 --> 00:05:21,891
as soon as I hit the bleachers.
138
00:05:22,079 --> 00:05:23,502
You see...
139
00:05:23,504 --> 00:05:25,137
leather makes a sound.
140
00:05:27,285 --> 00:05:29,609
It's a sound that-that
makes people stop
141
00:05:29,611 --> 00:05:31,611
and stare.
142
00:05:31,613 --> 00:05:33,613
Why do I know this story?
143
00:05:33,615 --> 00:05:36,082
And that's when I
started to sweat. A lot.
144
00:05:36,084 --> 00:05:37,133
And then,
145
00:05:37,158 --> 00:05:38,985
a cheerleader from the other school
146
00:05:38,987 --> 00:05:41,053
saw me in my Eddie Murphy suit
147
00:05:41,055 --> 00:05:43,187
and she flipped her little
ponytail at me and she said,
148
00:05:43,212 --> 00:05:44,690
"Oh, hey, look, it's... "
149
00:05:44,692 --> 00:05:45,791
- Sweaty Murphy.
- Sweaty Murphy.
150
00:05:45,793 --> 00:05:47,059
What?
151
00:05:52,567 --> 00:05:54,200
But how did you know that?
152
00:05:54,202 --> 00:05:55,339
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
153
00:05:55,364 --> 00:05:57,831
You're Sweaty Murphy?
154
00:05:59,869 --> 00:06:01,769
I played in that game.
155
00:06:01,794 --> 00:06:03,160
We talked about you in the huddle.
156
00:06:03,185 --> 00:06:05,185
We laughed so hard, they threw a flag.
157
00:06:06,468 --> 00:06:07,396
No, no, no, no,
158
00:06:07,421 --> 00:06:09,792
the only way you would
know that is if...
159
00:06:11,656 --> 00:06:13,032
Oh, my God.
160
00:06:14,589 --> 00:06:17,089
You're the girl with the ponytail.
161
00:06:17,091 --> 00:06:18,291
Oh!
162
00:06:18,293 --> 00:06:19,425
And you're the girl in the suit,
163
00:06:19,427 --> 00:06:21,093
this is so funny!
164
00:06:22,964 --> 00:06:25,131
You don't think it's funny.
165
00:06:25,573 --> 00:06:26,896
Well, I'm just glad
166
00:06:26,921 --> 00:06:28,534
you're okay, because
word on the street was
167
00:06:28,536 --> 00:06:29,835
that Sweaty Murphy went crazy
168
00:06:29,837 --> 00:06:31,500
and ended up in a home somewhere.
169
00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:32,872
Yeah, my home.
170
00:06:33,730 --> 00:06:35,875
I can't believe I married Sweaty Murphy!
171
00:06:37,278 --> 00:06:38,147
It's not funny.
172
00:06:38,172 --> 00:06:39,160
It's a little funny.
173
00:06:39,185 --> 00:06:40,546
Funny.
174
00:06:40,791 --> 00:06:42,524
I can't believe we have been friends
175
00:06:42,549 --> 00:06:44,950
all these years and that was you.
176
00:06:44,952 --> 00:06:47,153
You are not really mad
about this, are you?
177
00:06:47,155 --> 00:06:48,487
It was years ago.
178
00:06:48,489 --> 00:06:50,151
No, no, I'm not mad.
179
00:06:51,776 --> 00:06:53,803
I mean, I guess I would
have recognized you sooner,
180
00:06:53,828 --> 00:06:56,395
but your hair's too
thin for a ponytail now.
181
00:06:58,299 --> 00:07:00,366
Oh, yeah, I said it.
182
00:07:05,306 --> 00:07:06,486
Don, car.
183
00:07:06,511 --> 00:07:08,708
No, no, no, don't bother leaving,
184
00:07:08,710 --> 00:07:10,476
I'm going upstairs.
185
00:07:14,682 --> 00:07:16,315
Wow.
186
00:07:16,317 --> 00:07:17,652
Yeah. Well, I'm glad
187
00:07:17,677 --> 00:07:20,353
none of that was Marcy's fault.
188
00:07:21,261 --> 00:07:23,069
What are you talking about?
189
00:07:23,094 --> 00:07:25,206
Well, I'm just practicing
for the car ride home.
190
00:07:25,231 --> 00:07:27,460
Ah...
191
00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:35,074
AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back
Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday
192
00:07:36,132 --> 00:07:38,465
Oh, boy. How was your night?
193
00:07:38,467 --> 00:07:39,419
Bad.
194
00:07:39,444 --> 00:07:41,302
Marcy wanted to talk.
195
00:07:41,327 --> 00:07:43,438
I spent years training
her not to depend on me
196
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:46,011
for emotional support.
That's all out the window!
197
00:07:46,881 --> 00:07:48,447
After you guys left,
198
00:07:48,449 --> 00:07:50,783
Andi went off about Marcy.
199
00:07:50,785 --> 00:07:52,652
She went through all
the English curse words,
200
00:07:52,677 --> 00:07:55,411
then started swearing in
Portuguese like her grandmother.
201
00:07:55,995 --> 00:07:58,273
This Vegas trip is
starting to feel very shaky.
202
00:07:58,298 --> 00:08:00,592
Oh, don't even say
that. I need this trip.
203
00:08:00,594 --> 00:08:02,107
All year, I've been
working in this dump...
204
00:08:02,132 --> 00:08:05,487
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
This is our business.
205
00:08:05,542 --> 00:08:07,259
I'm sorry, you know I love this place,
206
00:08:07,284 --> 00:08:08,749
but the thought of
Vegas is the only thing
207
00:08:08,774 --> 00:08:10,469
that gets me through
the day in this hellhole.
208
00:08:11,309 --> 00:08:12,823
Look, I want to go, too.
209
00:08:12,848 --> 00:08:14,006
But I don't think it's gonna happen,
210
00:08:14,008 --> 00:08:15,974
unless Marcy apologizes.
211
00:08:15,976 --> 00:08:18,534
Well, there's two
things Marcy never does:
212
00:08:18,559 --> 00:08:20,323
one of them, she did
before we got married
213
00:08:20,348 --> 00:08:21,947
and then she stopped.
214
00:08:23,017 --> 00:08:26,118
The one you're talking
about, she's never done.
215
00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:28,720
Well, we got to figure out
a way to talk her into it.
216
00:08:28,722 --> 00:08:30,722
Yeah, I'll be fine.
217
00:08:30,724 --> 00:08:33,125
You know, it's been so long,
I don't even miss it anymore.
218
00:08:37,247 --> 00:08:39,380
Oh, you mean the other thing.
219
00:08:41,001 --> 00:08:42,924
You want me to apologize?
220
00:08:42,949 --> 00:08:44,382
That's a great idea.
221
00:08:45,535 --> 00:08:47,669
Adam, you know I love Andi.
222
00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:51,510
She's one of my best friends,
but she totally overreacted.
223
00:08:51,512 --> 00:08:53,178
All right, between you and me,
224
00:08:53,180 --> 00:08:54,479
I totally agree.
225
00:08:54,481 --> 00:08:56,715
Also between you and
me, I never said that.
226
00:08:57,839 --> 00:09:00,452
She also said a very
hurtful thing to me.
227
00:09:00,454 --> 00:09:03,948
My hair is thick and
luxurious, right, Don?
228
00:09:03,973 --> 00:09:06,725
Like a yak's chest, baby.
229
00:09:06,727 --> 00:09:08,193
Thank you.
230
00:09:09,024 --> 00:09:10,404
Well, look, Marcy,
231
00:09:10,429 --> 00:09:12,030
you are a very powerful woman.
232
00:09:12,032 --> 00:09:13,498
Like a yak!
233
00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:19,404
Okay, uh, Don here is a shell of a man,
234
00:09:19,406 --> 00:09:20,873
so job well done.
235
00:09:21,207 --> 00:09:24,109
But with that power
comes responsibility.
236
00:09:24,111 --> 00:09:27,779
You have the opportunity
now to be the bigger person.
237
00:09:27,781 --> 00:09:30,382
Hmm. Appealing to my vanity, I like it.
238
00:09:31,834 --> 00:09:33,077
Okay, I'll do it.
239
00:09:33,078 --> 00:09:35,846
Yes! Great. This'll mean a lot to Andi.
240
00:09:35,871 --> 00:09:36,913
Oh, and when you do it,
241
00:09:36,938 --> 00:09:38,839
if she starts talking in Portuguese,
242
00:09:38,841 --> 00:09:41,408
just power through,
that's all compliments.
243
00:09:44,506 --> 00:09:45,873
There she is.
244
00:09:45,898 --> 00:09:47,547
Surprise!
245
00:09:47,549 --> 00:09:50,016
Look who came to see you.
246
00:09:51,612 --> 00:09:52,962
Hello, Marcy.
247
00:09:52,987 --> 00:09:55,688
That was in English, that's a good sign.
248
00:09:56,251 --> 00:09:58,391
So, Andi, I just wanted to say...
249
00:09:58,393 --> 00:10:01,127
Oh, you know what? Nothing you
say can change what happened.
250
00:10:01,129 --> 00:10:02,099
All right? I mean,
251
00:10:02,124 --> 00:10:03,496
all these years, I have regretted
252
00:10:03,498 --> 00:10:05,065
not thinking of the perfect comeback
253
00:10:05,067 --> 00:10:06,499
for when you called
me "Sweaty Murphy"...
254
00:10:06,501 --> 00:10:07,899
but I see now
255
00:10:07,924 --> 00:10:10,270
that I'm not small and mean like you.
256
00:10:10,272 --> 00:10:13,373
I don't have to blow out
other people's candles
257
00:10:13,375 --> 00:10:14,908
to make mine shine brighter.
258
00:10:16,278 --> 00:10:18,812
I saw that on a poster
in the dentist's office,
259
00:10:18,814 --> 00:10:20,013
I thought it was quite something.
260
00:10:20,015 --> 00:10:22,003
- Mm-hmm.
- You know what?
261
00:10:22,028 --> 00:10:24,551
I cannot believe that you are
still upset about something
262
00:10:24,553 --> 00:10:26,553
that happened when we were kids!
263
00:10:26,555 --> 00:10:27,754
It's kind of crazy.
264
00:10:28,270 --> 00:10:30,031
Who are you calling crazy, doll hair?
265
00:10:30,056 --> 00:10:31,656
- Oh!
- Okay, okay, okay,
266
00:10:31,681 --> 00:10:33,682
I think we're moving in
the wrong direction here.
267
00:10:33,707 --> 00:10:36,032
Honey, Marcy came over to apologize.
268
00:10:36,057 --> 00:10:37,664
No, no, I am not apologizing anymore.
269
00:10:37,666 --> 00:10:39,515
She's completely overreacting again.
270
00:10:39,540 --> 00:10:42,502
Overreact... uh.
A-Are you hearing this?
271
00:10:42,504 --> 00:10:44,570
Do you think I'm overreacting?
272
00:10:44,827 --> 00:10:45,835
Me?
273
00:10:47,223 --> 00:10:49,214
Uh... do I think you're overreacting?
274
00:10:49,239 --> 00:10:50,790
She's looking right at
you. Everyone in the room
275
00:10:50,815 --> 00:10:52,215
knows she's talking to you.
276
00:10:53,883 --> 00:10:55,048
Adam?
277
00:10:56,711 --> 00:10:58,395
Well, you are reacting.
278
00:10:59,314 --> 00:11:02,186
And it's definitely not too little.
279
00:11:02,483 --> 00:11:05,825
It's... well, there's underreacting.
280
00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:09,296
Right? Then there's
regular reacting. You know.
281
00:11:09,298 --> 00:11:12,065
Then there's, uh... you.
282
00:11:12,067 --> 00:11:13,266
That means over!
283
00:11:13,268 --> 00:11:14,785
I never said it!
284
00:11:14,810 --> 00:11:16,569
All right. I gave it a shot, Adam.
285
00:11:16,571 --> 00:11:18,204
I'm out. Don, car.
286
00:11:22,964 --> 00:11:24,998
I never get to stay anywhere.
287
00:11:28,286 --> 00:11:30,550
I can't believe you didn't back me up.
288
00:11:30,552 --> 00:11:32,686
Come on, Andi. I always have your back.
289
00:11:32,826 --> 00:11:34,525
I just don't think that
something that happened
290
00:11:34,550 --> 00:11:37,701
in high school should cause
all these problems today.
291
00:11:37,726 --> 00:11:39,343
Because you turned out awesome.
292
00:11:39,368 --> 00:11:41,571
Well, yeah. I am pretty great.
293
00:11:41,596 --> 00:11:44,864
You know, but it was a
long road to get here.
294
00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:47,219
When she said,
295
00:11:47,244 --> 00:11:48,868
"Don, car," I guess she meant,
296
00:11:48,870 --> 00:11:50,637
"Don, I'm taking the car."
297
00:11:51,038 --> 00:11:52,170
Okay, well, good. I'm glad you're back,
298
00:11:52,195 --> 00:11:53,306
because you can help me.
299
00:11:53,308 --> 00:11:54,561
Okay, don't you think everybody
300
00:11:54,586 --> 00:11:58,079
would be better off if
Andi just let this go?
301
00:11:58,134 --> 00:12:01,918
Be the bigger person,
and just forgive Marcy.
302
00:12:02,019 --> 00:12:03,871
Yeah, I-I mean, I did that
to the guy from high school
303
00:12:03,896 --> 00:12:05,368
who used to call me a shaved gorilla.
304
00:12:05,393 --> 00:12:06,286
- Really?
- Yeah.
305
00:12:06,288 --> 00:12:07,890
Wait, you're not just making
this up as you go along?
306
00:12:07,915 --> 00:12:09,504
- No.
- 'Cause I need something good here.
307
00:12:09,738 --> 00:12:11,940
No. I-It's a nice story, actually.
308
00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:14,194
Couple years ago, he came
to me looking for a job,
309
00:12:14,196 --> 00:12:16,696
and I took that opportunity
to be the bigger man.
310
00:12:16,698 --> 00:12:18,531
I told him to go to hell.
311
00:12:19,701 --> 00:12:21,334
How does that make you the bigger man?
312
00:12:21,624 --> 00:12:23,646
Well, he's like five-seven.
I'm way bigger.
313
00:12:24,521 --> 00:12:25,191
I knew it.
314
00:12:25,216 --> 00:12:28,174
All the parts of a good
story, but still useless.
315
00:12:28,895 --> 00:12:30,635
Don, why are you on his side?
316
00:12:30,660 --> 00:12:33,591
You were a nerd in high school,
too, and he doesn't get it.
317
00:12:33,616 --> 00:12:34,614
I get it.
318
00:12:34,616 --> 00:12:36,861
Oh, really? Have you
ever been so desperate
319
00:12:36,886 --> 00:12:39,158
to get out of a leather suit
that you broke the zipper?
320
00:12:39,183 --> 00:12:41,237
And then your dad had to cut you out
321
00:12:41,262 --> 00:12:42,906
with an electric carving knife?
322
00:12:43,484 --> 00:12:45,892
Okay. To be fair, that's
a really small club.
323
00:12:47,195 --> 00:12:49,195
You know, now that I think about it,
324
00:12:49,197 --> 00:12:50,630
Adam sailed through high school.
325
00:12:50,632 --> 00:12:52,632
He was always the
winner, always popular.
326
00:12:52,634 --> 00:12:55,135
Okay. Look, I can't help it
if people are drawn to me.
327
00:12:55,137 --> 00:12:58,204
I'm... magnetic. I don't know.
328
00:12:58,206 --> 00:12:59,672
Life's been easy for you, hasn't it?
329
00:12:59,674 --> 00:13:01,274
It's... it's been a good run, yeah.
330
00:13:02,556 --> 00:13:04,190
Well, you remember at dinner,
331
00:13:04,215 --> 00:13:06,582
when I told you they
called me a shaved gorilla?
332
00:13:07,215 --> 00:13:08,214
He laughed.
333
00:13:08,216 --> 00:13:10,283
Oh, no. I do remember that.
334
00:13:10,285 --> 00:13:12,485
It's a funny idea.
335
00:13:12,699 --> 00:13:14,065
I mean, picture a gorilla.
336
00:13:14,090 --> 00:13:17,357
Then, you shave him. You never see that.
337
00:13:18,567 --> 00:13:19,237
You know,
338
00:13:19,261 --> 00:13:21,116
I think I'm on Andi's side now.
339
00:13:21,117 --> 00:13:22,571
And I don't think she
overreacted at all.
340
00:13:22,596 --> 00:13:23,963
I think you underreacted.
341
00:13:24,066 --> 00:13:25,632
You're an underreactor.
342
00:13:26,802 --> 00:13:29,129
You are on the right
side of history, Don.
343
00:13:29,154 --> 00:13:32,240
What? What is happening
here? Now you got him nuts?
344
00:13:32,265 --> 00:13:34,898
Just because of one day,
like, a million years ago?
345
00:13:34,923 --> 00:13:36,843
Adam, it wasn't just one day.
346
00:13:36,845 --> 00:13:39,459
I mean, people called me
Sweaty Murphy for months.
347
00:13:39,484 --> 00:13:40,947
All right? Even my homeroom teacher.
348
00:13:40,949 --> 00:13:42,515
She'd do roll call in the
morning, she'd be, like,
349
00:13:42,517 --> 00:13:44,690
"Murphy," comma, "Sweaty?"
350
00:13:44,715 --> 00:13:46,830
And I'd have to be, like, "Here."
351
00:13:47,613 --> 00:13:49,956
Oh. Okay. I didn't know any of that.
352
00:13:51,214 --> 00:13:52,943
I think it's time you leave, Adam.
353
00:13:55,788 --> 00:13:57,019
It's my house, Don.
354
00:13:57,044 --> 00:13:59,421
Well, it looks like you
win again, doesn't it?
355
00:14:05,379 --> 00:14:06,578
Hey, Marcy.
356
00:14:06,580 --> 00:14:07,846
Why are you here?
357
00:14:07,848 --> 00:14:09,242
Apparently, I'm on your team, now.
358
00:14:09,267 --> 00:14:11,186
Oh, ho, ho. We're gonna be unstoppable!
359
00:14:11,211 --> 00:14:13,006
What? No... No! It's not good.
360
00:14:13,031 --> 00:14:14,430
So how do you want to get 'em?
361
00:14:14,432 --> 00:14:15,796
Okay, we're getting them.
362
00:14:15,821 --> 00:14:18,205
Look, Andi is really upset.
363
00:14:18,206 --> 00:14:18,944
And now,
364
00:14:18,969 --> 00:14:21,194
she's got Don all worked up, too.
365
00:14:21,219 --> 00:14:23,641
She even took him to the
school-parent mixer tonight,
366
00:14:23,666 --> 00:14:26,209
instead of me, because he's on her team.
367
00:14:26,211 --> 00:14:29,234
I had no idea this would
be such a big deal to her.
368
00:14:29,259 --> 00:14:31,341
Okay, look. I don't think either
one of us really understood
369
00:14:31,366 --> 00:14:33,277
her point of view before,
because she's right.
370
00:14:33,302 --> 00:14:34,646
We haven't gone through it.
371
00:14:34,671 --> 00:14:36,887
And I definitely didn't handle things
372
00:14:36,912 --> 00:14:37,966
the way I should've.
373
00:14:37,991 --> 00:14:40,882
Well, to be honest, I feel terrible.
374
00:14:41,053 --> 00:14:42,521
I mean, I love Andi.
375
00:14:42,546 --> 00:14:45,585
But I think the reason that
I got so upset was because I...
376
00:14:46,077 --> 00:14:48,792
I wasn't proud of the
way I behaved back then.
377
00:14:48,831 --> 00:14:51,440
I was young and selfish, and
I... I didn't care who I hurt,
378
00:14:51,465 --> 00:14:54,537
so, maybe Andi's right about me.
379
00:14:54,798 --> 00:14:56,105
Wow.
380
00:14:56,447 --> 00:14:59,512
Wow. You just said a lot
of really great things
381
00:14:59,537 --> 00:15:02,545
at a really unhelpful time.
382
00:15:02,547 --> 00:15:04,625
Okay, look. I think the question is...
383
00:15:04,650 --> 00:15:06,442
How do we get her to forgive us?
384
00:15:06,467 --> 00:15:07,917
How would I know how to do that?
385
00:15:07,919 --> 00:15:10,081
Okay, Marcy. Look, it's...
everyone in town knows
386
00:15:10,106 --> 00:15:11,654
you hold a hell of a grudge.
387
00:15:11,656 --> 00:15:13,463
Oh, that's nice that people notice.
388
00:15:13,488 --> 00:15:16,458
Yeah, okay, well. So, if
the roles were reversed,
389
00:15:16,483 --> 00:15:18,061
what would it take or you to forgive?
390
00:15:18,063 --> 00:15:20,674
Well, talking's not gonna do it.
391
00:15:20,699 --> 00:15:22,080
We need something to let her know
392
00:15:22,105 --> 00:15:24,168
that we understand how she feels.
393
00:15:24,193 --> 00:15:25,569
Right? A big gesture.
394
00:15:25,594 --> 00:15:28,343
Would that by any chance
be... a trip to Vegas?
395
00:15:28,368 --> 00:15:29,913
- No. No.
- Oh.
396
00:15:29,938 --> 00:15:31,781
No. What I would need
397
00:15:31,976 --> 00:15:33,904
is something that would
make me feel better,
398
00:15:34,334 --> 00:15:36,650
while at the same time,
making you feel bad.
399
00:15:36,675 --> 00:15:39,320
You know, preferably, in a public
place with a lot of people watching.
400
00:15:39,523 --> 00:15:41,433
Okay? And on top of that,
401
00:15:41,458 --> 00:15:44,068
making a profound statement
about the underlying issue
402
00:15:44,093 --> 00:15:45,355
that started the problem.
403
00:15:46,098 --> 00:15:47,023
That's all.
404
00:15:48,270 --> 00:15:49,158
Wow.
405
00:15:49,779 --> 00:15:51,794
My brother Don is a saint.
406
00:15:54,724 --> 00:15:56,232
So I told Adam,
407
00:15:56,234 --> 00:15:57,767
I'm gonna go to the parent mixer
408
00:15:57,769 --> 00:15:59,302
with someone who's on my team:
409
00:15:59,304 --> 00:16:01,304
Don.
410
00:16:01,306 --> 00:16:04,207
And I misplayed my hand
terribly, so I'm here.
411
00:16:05,243 --> 00:16:06,923
Well, this may come as a shock to you,
412
00:16:06,948 --> 00:16:09,003
but I was not the most popular person
413
00:16:09,028 --> 00:16:10,243
in high school either.
414
00:16:10,268 --> 00:16:13,102
Oh, I believe it. You seem soft, son.
415
00:16:24,545 --> 00:16:26,072
Oh, my God.
416
00:16:26,764 --> 00:16:28,318
Now we got a party.
417
00:16:30,633 --> 00:16:32,630
Why are you dressed like that?
418
00:16:32,655 --> 00:16:36,172
You... sweet, ridiculous man.
419
00:16:37,380 --> 00:16:40,343
I want to be on Team Sweaty Murphy.
420
00:16:41,474 --> 00:16:43,980
Even though you have
really bad uniforms.
421
00:16:44,572 --> 00:16:46,038
Honey, you didn't have to do this.
422
00:16:46,063 --> 00:16:47,483
Yes. I did.
423
00:16:48,245 --> 00:16:49,278
And believe me,
424
00:16:49,303 --> 00:16:50,259
now I understand
425
00:16:50,284 --> 00:16:51,821
how you must've felt.
426
00:16:52,096 --> 00:16:52,795
Sweaty...
427
00:16:52,820 --> 00:16:55,491
in every area.
428
00:16:56,141 --> 00:16:58,241
And humiliated.
429
00:16:58,337 --> 00:16:59,770
Hey, Jim.
430
00:17:00,330 --> 00:17:02,198
Oh...
431
00:17:02,546 --> 00:17:06,135
Oh... you do get me.
432
00:17:06,988 --> 00:17:08,571
This team sucks. Take me home.
433
00:17:08,573 --> 00:17:11,074
- Ugh.
- Look what he wore for me.
434
00:17:11,076 --> 00:17:12,945
Is he not the cutest?
435
00:17:13,242 --> 00:17:15,978
Well, we wanted to make a point.
436
00:17:16,213 --> 00:17:18,347
We? W-We who?
437
00:17:18,372 --> 00:17:19,248
We...
438
00:17:19,900 --> 00:17:20,883
Marcy?
439
00:17:21,025 --> 00:17:24,861
I don't want to do this anymore, Adam!
440
00:17:26,403 --> 00:17:27,690
Marcy!
441
00:17:31,117 --> 00:17:33,229
That's the stuff!
442
00:17:36,051 --> 00:17:37,291
Okay, I got my keys,
443
00:17:37,316 --> 00:17:38,151
I got the tickets.
444
00:17:38,176 --> 00:17:39,578
Vegas, here we come!
445
00:17:39,603 --> 00:17:41,071
I got to tell you, I didn't think
446
00:17:41,096 --> 00:17:42,121
this would actually happen.
447
00:17:42,146 --> 00:17:43,396
Hey, are we still getting
448
00:17:43,421 --> 00:17:44,678
the fake doctor discount?
449
00:17:44,703 --> 00:17:46,707
Yeah. I just got to
write a 90-minute speech
450
00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:48,544
about feet. I got the title.
451
00:17:48,546 --> 00:17:51,380
"Feet: The Hands of Your Legs."
452
00:17:51,405 --> 00:17:53,376
Okay, guys. Come on. We're
gonna drop you at Nana's
453
00:17:53,401 --> 00:17:54,400
on the way to the airport.
454
00:17:54,425 --> 00:17:55,454
All right.
455
00:17:55,861 --> 00:17:57,297
Daddy, my throat hurts.
456
00:17:57,322 --> 00:17:59,878
What? No. No, no, no.
457
00:17:59,903 --> 00:18:03,092
Aw, honey. Come here.
458
00:18:03,414 --> 00:18:05,161
Oh, Adam. She's got a fever.
459
00:18:05,163 --> 00:18:07,207
No! No, no, no.
460
00:18:08,934 --> 00:18:10,959
Yep. Teddy's warm, too.
461
00:18:10,984 --> 00:18:13,669
Every year.
462
00:18:13,671 --> 00:18:15,307
What are we gonna do? Uh...
463
00:18:16,733 --> 00:18:18,499
Don't look at me. I'm a foot doctor.
464
00:18:23,154 --> 00:18:24,586
Goobs, watch your tail.
465
00:18:24,588 --> 00:18:26,555
This guy's level 30 xenomorph.
466
00:18:26,557 --> 00:18:28,242
Nice shot, LonerZero!
467
00:18:28,267 --> 00:18:29,699
High five, guys.
468
00:18:33,297 --> 00:18:35,692
Okay, that's it. We're
going fishing next weekend.
469
00:18:35,717 --> 00:18:37,262
And I'm buying you a BB gun.
470
00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:39,796
And this is how you high five.
471
00:18:39,821 --> 00:18:40,987
With another hand.
472
00:18:47,267 --> 00:18:48,710
Good morning, folks.
473
00:18:48,712 --> 00:18:51,037
Von Burns, foot doctor.
474
00:18:51,062 --> 00:18:52,461
Foot specialist.
475
00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:55,984
Footballer, if you will.
476
00:18:56,593 --> 00:18:58,453
Let's break down the word "feet."
477
00:18:58,697 --> 00:19:02,958
From the Latin word "feetatoe."
478
00:19:04,610 --> 00:19:08,297
Ten toes, two feet.
479
00:19:08,299 --> 00:19:11,508
Five toes, one foot.
480
00:19:13,537 --> 00:19:15,804
I'm gonna let that
sink in for the next...
481
00:19:16,391 --> 00:19:18,507
88 minutes.
482
00:19:18,509 --> 00:19:20,108
In the meantime,
483
00:19:20,110 --> 00:19:22,388
I'm gonna walk with my
feet to the back bar,
484
00:19:22,910 --> 00:19:25,981
get myself a nice little rum and Coke.
485
00:19:26,614 --> 00:19:28,194
These are my feet, right
here, ladies and gentlemen.
486
00:19:28,219 --> 00:19:30,527
My feet are walking
toward the bar in the back.
487
00:19:30,552 --> 00:19:32,968
Thank you for coming out.
Enjoy the next 88 minutes.
488
00:19:33,484 --> 00:19:38,484
Synced and corrected by Octavia
- www.addic7ed.com -
489
00:19:39,305 --> 00:19:45,732
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