subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for VulgarDVDRip

Afrikaans

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bengali

Bosnian

Bulgarian

Catalan

Cebuano

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional)

Corsican

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Dutch

English

Esperanto

Estonian

Filipino

Finnish

French

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German Download

Greek

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian

Irish

Italian

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Khmer

Korean

Kurdish (Kurmanji)

Kyrgyz

Lao

Latin

Latvian

Lithuanian

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy

Malay

Malayalam

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Nepali

Norwegian

Pashto

Persian

Polish

Portuguese

Punjabi

Romanian

Russian

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian

Sesotho

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhala

Slovak

Slovenian

Somali

Spanish

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish

Tajik

Tamil

Telugu

Thai

Turkish

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Odia (Oriya)

Kinyarwanda

Turkmen

Tatar

Uyghur

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:38,054 --> 00:01:40,488 Shit! Where are we going? 2 00:01:40,556 --> 00:01:42,820 - How did you get in my car? - What? 3 00:01:42,892 --> 00:01:45,258 You said I could sleep here. 4 00:01:45,328 --> 00:01:47,853 - You said it was comfortable too. - No! 5 00:01:47,930 --> 00:01:50,296 - You didn't say that? - No. Get out. 6 00:01:50,366 --> 00:01:54,166 - This is crap. Come on! - Get out. I'm late. 7 00:01:54,237 --> 00:01:57,070 Stop pulling. You're hurting me. 8 00:01:57,139 --> 00:01:59,437 You know what you could do? Eat it! 9 00:01:59,508 --> 00:02:01,738 - You lied, man. - Yeah, yeah. 10 00:02:01,811 --> 00:02:04,075 - That's great. - F you, pal. 11 00:02:04,146 --> 00:02:06,637 F you, buddy! 12 00:02:25,134 --> 00:02:26,761 Hey! Hey! 13 00:02:26,836 --> 00:02:28,861 I'm looking for Cheerful Place. 14 00:02:33,276 --> 00:02:35,870 - What are you looking for? - Cheerful Place. 15 00:02:35,945 --> 00:02:37,435 Isn't it right there? 16 00:02:42,318 --> 00:02:43,580 Jesus, no. 17 00:02:43,653 --> 00:02:45,951 Christ Almighty. 18 00:02:46,022 --> 00:02:47,284 Oh, fuck. 19 00:03:02,605 --> 00:03:06,268 Don't worry, kids. Flappy's here! 20 00:03:08,411 --> 00:03:10,743 Hurry up, we're gonna miss it. 21 00:03:10,813 --> 00:03:12,678 I'm trying! 22 00:03:15,718 --> 00:03:17,913 Get the hell off of me! 23 00:03:17,987 --> 00:03:20,979 There's no reason for all this. We can handle this ourselves. 24 00:03:21,057 --> 00:03:23,218 It was an accident. 25 00:03:23,292 --> 00:03:25,123 It's a goddamn misunderstanding. 26 00:03:25,194 --> 00:03:29,062 Jill, would you tell them we can handle this ourselves? 27 00:03:29,131 --> 00:03:32,191 What the fuck are you looking at? 28 00:03:32,268 --> 00:03:35,328 It's your call. You give me the say-so, he's gone. 29 00:03:35,404 --> 00:03:37,668 Excuse me! Perhaps you didn't hear me. 30 00:03:37,740 --> 00:03:41,471 For Christ's sakes, Jill, open up your mouth! 31 00:03:47,316 --> 00:03:49,784 - Could you take him away? - What?! 32 00:03:49,852 --> 00:03:53,049 - Get up! - Just for a while, Travis. 33 00:03:53,122 --> 00:03:57,456 - Just until you cool down. - You coerced her into saying that! 34 00:03:57,526 --> 00:04:00,893 - Simmer down, shitbag! - Fine. Come on, you bitch! 35 00:04:00,963 --> 00:04:04,831 - Stop! - Take him away already! 36 00:04:04,900 --> 00:04:06,094 Come on. 37 00:04:10,272 --> 00:04:12,365 Come on, get in there. 38 00:04:12,441 --> 00:04:14,204 Get in there. 39 00:04:14,276 --> 00:04:15,607 Mrs. Lee? 40 00:04:17,313 --> 00:04:19,975 - I'm so sorry. - Oh, no. Don't be. 41 00:04:20,049 --> 00:04:21,880 If you can wait, I'll get you your money. 42 00:04:21,951 --> 00:04:24,749 - Is he giving you a hard time? - No. 43 00:04:24,820 --> 00:04:28,312 - Not at all. - Call me if you need anything. 44 00:04:30,426 --> 00:04:32,553 - The money... - No. Don't. 45 00:04:32,628 --> 00:04:36,462 I understand. You won't be too old for a clown next year. 46 00:04:36,532 --> 00:04:39,330 - Will I, Mommy? - No. 47 00:04:40,436 --> 00:04:43,200 There it is, then. Same time next year, Mom? 48 00:04:43,272 --> 00:04:46,207 - Sure. Thank you, Mr... - Flappy. 49 00:04:46,275 --> 00:04:48,436 It's the illusion. It's for the kids. 50 00:04:50,112 --> 00:04:51,807 I almost forgot. 51 00:04:51,881 --> 00:04:53,815 They would have taken away my clown license 52 00:04:53,883 --> 00:04:55,544 if I'd let this one slip by. 53 00:04:55,618 --> 00:04:57,609 - You wouldn't rat on me, though? - No. 54 00:04:57,686 --> 00:04:59,119 Here! 55 00:05:00,489 --> 00:05:02,889 And eat an extra piece of cake for Flappy. 56 00:05:02,958 --> 00:05:05,222 You need it more than I do. 57 00:05:16,539 --> 00:05:20,100 - Twice in one day, loser! - Fuck you, bastard! 58 00:05:37,593 --> 00:05:39,925 Free refill, please! 59 00:05:39,995 --> 00:05:42,088 Aren't you supposed to be at a gig today? 60 00:05:42,164 --> 00:05:45,691 Well, it was canceled at the zero hour. 61 00:05:45,768 --> 00:05:48,328 No wonder you are so damned testy. What happened? 62 00:05:48,404 --> 00:05:51,339 The abridged version goes something like this... 63 00:05:51,407 --> 00:05:53,500 will you cut it out?! 64 00:05:53,576 --> 00:05:56,340 Husband pounds wife. Wife screams. 65 00:05:56,412 --> 00:05:59,279 Neighbors call cops. Cops come, bust him. 66 00:05:59,348 --> 00:06:01,407 - The party's over. - Raw deal. 67 00:06:01,484 --> 00:06:03,748 You got the cash, though? 68 00:06:03,819 --> 00:06:06,253 She didn't pay you? Fuck that shit. 69 00:06:06,322 --> 00:06:08,415 Time is money, spousal abuse or not. 70 00:06:08,491 --> 00:06:11,051 I'd be in small claims court, if I were you. 71 00:06:11,126 --> 00:06:13,856 - Humanitarian to the last. - Never mind her. 72 00:06:13,929 --> 00:06:15,590 I almost forgot the big news. 73 00:06:15,664 --> 00:06:18,827 - My grandmother kicked me out. - I've heard this before. 74 00:06:18,901 --> 00:06:20,391 She was pretty official about it this time. 75 00:06:20,469 --> 00:06:24,098 Her lawyer sent me a letter saying she doesn't want me around anymore 76 00:06:24,173 --> 00:06:27,802 because I don't pay bills or get up before 12:00. 77 00:06:27,877 --> 00:06:29,970 - Nice. - She can bite me anyway. 78 00:06:30,045 --> 00:06:32,775 I'll be flying solo soon. I got a job. 79 00:06:32,848 --> 00:06:33,940 Where? 80 00:06:34,016 --> 00:06:36,814 Tuott the Basehead hooked me up with Suds 'N' Stuff over the weekend. 81 00:06:36,886 --> 00:06:39,411 Watch yourself on that corporate ladder. 82 00:06:39,488 --> 00:06:42,218 Listen to this bull. Is that your limo outside? 83 00:06:42,291 --> 00:06:44,122 Driving around in that little shitbox. 84 00:06:44,193 --> 00:06:46,821 That shitbox totes your ass to and fro. 85 00:06:46,896 --> 00:06:51,196 You walk around with empty pockets like some poor-ass church mouse. 86 00:06:51,267 --> 00:06:53,895 You know you need the extra cash. Come work with me. 87 00:06:53,969 --> 00:06:56,199 - You get your own jumpsuit. - No, thanks. 88 00:06:56,272 --> 00:06:58,706 That's how it starts. Crappy job here, crappy job there, 89 00:06:58,774 --> 00:07:00,605 next thing you know, you're 70 years old, 90 00:07:00,676 --> 00:07:03,338 living on the dole wondering where your life went, 91 00:07:03,412 --> 00:07:06,347 and your best friend comes cable-ready with a remote. 92 00:07:06,415 --> 00:07:08,815 That's beneath even you. 93 00:07:09,885 --> 00:07:12,149 - What's up your ass? - Nothing. 94 00:07:12,221 --> 00:07:13,813 Shine bumpers if you want. 95 00:07:13,889 --> 00:07:16,050 Nobody's stopping you. I'm sure you'll do well. 96 00:07:16,125 --> 00:07:18,753 You're right. I should hinge my future on dancing around 97 00:07:18,827 --> 00:07:22,558 like a mongoloid on a bad acid trip for a bunch of spoiled dick-heads. 98 00:07:22,631 --> 00:07:24,997 - You think what I do is stupid? - All I'm saying 99 00:07:25,067 --> 00:07:28,093 is your life expectations as far as clowning is concerned 100 00:07:28,170 --> 00:07:31,071 are far-fetched, dare I say, totally unrealistic. 101 00:07:31,140 --> 00:07:34,268 It's what I want to do. And I believe things will work out, 102 00:07:34,343 --> 00:07:38,040 and one day I'll make a good living at it. Clich�, but humor me. 103 00:07:38,113 --> 00:07:40,138 How long did it take to build Rome? 104 00:07:40,215 --> 00:07:42,945 Your problem is, zero patience. 105 00:07:43,018 --> 00:07:47,011 I can see how the rise and fall of Rome parallel your existence. 106 00:07:47,089 --> 00:07:48,249 You're barely surviving. 107 00:07:48,324 --> 00:07:50,087 The money you make... sporadic at best. 108 00:07:50,159 --> 00:07:52,491 How much of your monthly take goes for that nursing home? 109 00:07:52,561 --> 00:07:56,190 $200. But I only pay half, 'cause Uncle Sam picks up the rest. 110 00:07:56,265 --> 00:07:58,028 - How much do you make? - It depends. 111 00:07:58,100 --> 00:08:00,660 I usually bring in... 112 00:08:00,736 --> 00:08:03,603 - maybe $500-$600. - So, in other words, four. 113 00:08:03,672 --> 00:08:06,038 How do you pay rent, car insurance and eat 114 00:08:06,108 --> 00:08:07,837 on 200 or 300 bucks a month? 115 00:08:07,910 --> 00:08:09,844 Mosier knocks a couple of bucks off 116 00:08:09,912 --> 00:08:12,346 if I mow the lawn or do some maintenance. 117 00:08:12,414 --> 00:08:16,248 Plus, to be honest, I don't exactly pay insurance on that shitbox, 118 00:08:16,318 --> 00:08:17,808 as you so fondly referred to it. 119 00:08:17,886 --> 00:08:22,050 I'm in a quandary about the resting home deal. 120 00:08:22,124 --> 00:08:24,115 Not for nothing, but your mom... 121 00:08:24,193 --> 00:08:26,058 - she's a bitch. - Hey! 122 00:08:26,128 --> 00:08:27,686 That's my mom! 123 00:08:27,763 --> 00:08:29,492 My mother had a hard life. 124 00:08:29,565 --> 00:08:31,362 Her mother died when she was three, 125 00:08:31,433 --> 00:08:33,628 and her father expected her to take on the wifely duties... 126 00:08:33,702 --> 00:08:36,432 - all of them. - I've heard this before. 127 00:08:36,505 --> 00:08:39,303 Why should you atone for his shortcomings? 128 00:08:39,375 --> 00:08:42,208 - Plus, you call her names all the time. - I know. 129 00:08:42,277 --> 00:08:45,804 But she's still my mom. And there's a difference between 130 00:08:45,881 --> 00:08:48,042 calling your mother a bitch and someone else saying it. 131 00:08:48,117 --> 00:08:51,780 Sorry. She's such a bitch. 132 00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:06,968 William, Sam Mosier. 133 00:09:07,036 --> 00:09:09,197 I don't want to be a nut-biter, 134 00:09:09,271 --> 00:09:11,603 but I'll need some money from you soon. 135 00:09:11,674 --> 00:09:13,938 There's just not that much grass to mow. 136 00:09:14,009 --> 00:09:15,203 Guess what, 137 00:09:15,277 --> 00:09:17,837 Mr. Flappy-the-Jerk-Off? Your message sucks! 138 00:09:17,913 --> 00:09:20,177 - Clowns suck too. - Tell him to eat shit. 139 00:09:22,084 --> 00:09:23,483 Pick up the phone! 140 00:09:23,552 --> 00:09:24,985 I know you're there! 141 00:09:25,054 --> 00:09:27,386 I want to thank you for being so goddamn worthless! 142 00:09:27,456 --> 00:09:29,788 They are asking me for the money you owe! 143 00:09:29,858 --> 00:09:32,383 They want to know why the rent hasn't been paid 144 00:09:32,461 --> 00:09:35,555 for this fucking cesspool you've thrown me in! 145 00:09:35,631 --> 00:09:38,327 Bring the money today! 146 00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:40,800 Now! 147 00:09:40,869 --> 00:09:42,962 You have no more messages. 148 00:09:45,274 --> 00:09:46,832 Do you mind? 149 00:09:46,909 --> 00:09:49,139 Rumor has it that backseat's comfortable. 150 00:09:49,211 --> 00:09:50,803 Get away! 151 00:09:50,879 --> 00:09:52,904 What is he, your boss? 152 00:09:52,981 --> 00:09:55,211 - Are you his bitch? - No! 153 00:10:01,223 --> 00:10:03,384 Who's ready for bingo? 154 00:10:03,459 --> 00:10:05,484 Are you ready for bingo? 155 00:10:05,561 --> 00:10:09,622 The fun starts at 7:00 in the cafeteria. 156 00:10:09,698 --> 00:10:12,223 Don't forget your markers. 157 00:10:29,451 --> 00:10:31,976 Excuse me, ladies. 158 00:10:32,054 --> 00:10:33,885 How rude. 159 00:10:42,531 --> 00:10:45,193 - Get I get you anything else? - No, not unless 160 00:10:45,267 --> 00:10:48,259 - you have a cure for my rheumatism. - I wish. 161 00:10:53,809 --> 00:10:55,800 Hi, Mom. 162 00:10:58,180 --> 00:11:00,876 It's my nap time. Why don't you follow suit, 163 00:11:00,949 --> 00:11:02,814 and make like that irritating little bitch? 164 00:11:02,885 --> 00:11:05,046 What are you talking about? I just got here. 165 00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:09,614 I'm talking about you being a source of embarrassment, 166 00:11:09,691 --> 00:11:11,488 a colossal disappointment! 167 00:11:11,560 --> 00:11:15,656 I wish I'd had the courage to take that trip down the back alley. 168 00:11:15,731 --> 00:11:18,131 Come on. I paid up some of the bill, 169 00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:20,794 so please, can we have a nice visit? 170 00:11:20,869 --> 00:11:24,828 - Don't start with that. - I am going to start. 171 00:11:24,907 --> 00:11:27,535 This room, if that's what you want to call it, 172 00:11:27,609 --> 00:11:30,169 isn't provided by some divine entity. 173 00:11:30,245 --> 00:11:33,146 I've had it up to here with that bitch of a secretary, 174 00:11:33,215 --> 00:11:35,775 reminding me daily that you're too stupid 175 00:11:35,851 --> 00:11:38,786 to remember that I have to pay to live here. 176 00:11:38,854 --> 00:11:40,617 It's not that I don't remember... 177 00:11:40,689 --> 00:11:44,284 Don't interrupt me. God damn it, don't you dare contradict me! 178 00:11:44,359 --> 00:11:46,623 You show me the respect I deserve. 179 00:11:46,695 --> 00:11:47,923 If your father were alive, 180 00:11:47,996 --> 00:11:50,328 I'd have him slap you in your snotty little mouth. 181 00:11:50,399 --> 00:11:52,390 - Here we go. - What did you say?! 182 00:11:52,467 --> 00:11:55,868 - How dare you? Get over here... - Relax. I didn't mean it. 183 00:11:55,938 --> 00:11:58,998 - Get your ass over here! - I won't let you hit me! 184 00:11:59,074 --> 00:12:01,542 Forget it, I'll leave before that happens. 185 00:12:02,778 --> 00:12:06,714 Well, it wouldn't be the first time, would it? 186 00:12:06,782 --> 00:12:09,148 That's always the way it's been with you. 187 00:12:09,218 --> 00:12:11,584 Couldn't stand on your own two feet to defend yourself, 188 00:12:11,653 --> 00:12:13,848 if your worthless life depended on it. 189 00:12:13,922 --> 00:12:17,050 Run away, William. It's your answer to everything. 190 00:12:18,227 --> 00:12:20,787 You don't have to stay! 191 00:12:21,864 --> 00:12:24,890 I know you don't want to come to see me. 192 00:12:24,967 --> 00:12:26,935 Yes, I do. 193 00:12:27,002 --> 00:12:28,697 I like to come and see you. 194 00:12:28,770 --> 00:12:32,729 I just wish you'd relax a little and not get so short-tempered. 195 00:12:33,809 --> 00:12:37,245 I get so lonely around here. 196 00:12:37,312 --> 00:12:39,610 Nobody talks to me. 197 00:12:40,682 --> 00:12:42,616 Nobody bothers with me at all. 198 00:12:42,684 --> 00:12:44,618 They have their own little circles. 199 00:12:44,686 --> 00:12:46,654 They don't want to know from anyone. 200 00:12:46,722 --> 00:12:49,486 - They think they're better than me. - Come on, Mom. 201 00:12:49,558 --> 00:12:51,583 You know that's not true. 202 00:12:51,660 --> 00:12:54,424 So, suddenly, you're some kind of big man? 203 00:12:54,496 --> 00:12:56,828 Not so big that you can earn a decent living, 204 00:12:56,899 --> 00:12:58,628 let alone take care of your own mother! 205 00:12:58,700 --> 00:13:01,828 I am so happy that God showed grace enough to take your father away, 206 00:13:04,773 --> 00:13:07,970 - The account is nearly paid up... - You know what you are? 207 00:13:08,043 --> 00:13:10,841 - A whole lot of nothing! - I'm trying... 208 00:13:10,913 --> 00:13:13,211 Trying won't get you through life! 209 00:13:13,282 --> 00:13:15,477 Actions will get you through it. 210 00:13:15,550 --> 00:13:17,381 I thought you'd have learned that by now. 211 00:13:17,452 --> 00:13:19,886 - If your father... - Enough about him! 212 00:13:19,955 --> 00:13:22,355 What do you have to canonize that son of a bitch?! 213 00:13:22,424 --> 00:13:26,451 I know the way he was. I know what you went through! 214 00:13:26,528 --> 00:13:29,964 I'm sick of listening to how fucking great he was! 215 00:13:33,402 --> 00:13:35,393 I'm sorry. 216 00:13:35,470 --> 00:13:40,066 - I shouldn't have said that. - Get out! 217 00:13:40,142 --> 00:13:42,610 It was out of line. I apologize. 218 00:13:43,912 --> 00:13:46,676 I said, get the hell out! 219 00:13:46,748 --> 00:13:49,046 Oh God! Somebody... 220 00:13:49,117 --> 00:13:50,846 get him out of here! 221 00:13:50,919 --> 00:13:54,548 I can't stand to look at you. Get the fuck out! 222 00:13:58,026 --> 00:14:00,494 Don't let him get away. 223 00:14:00,595 --> 00:14:02,961 You and me, go round to round, Jersey style. 224 00:14:03,031 --> 00:14:05,295 Take it on, you smelly bitch. 225 00:14:06,969 --> 00:14:09,130 Hey, it's clowny! 226 00:14:09,204 --> 00:14:11,434 - Give me a dollar! - Yeah, give him a dollar. 227 00:14:11,506 --> 00:14:14,566 Those boys giving you some trouble, Willie? 228 00:14:14,643 --> 00:14:17,544 - Nothing I can't handle. - Bunch of roughnecks. 229 00:14:17,612 --> 00:14:19,910 - Did you get my message? - Yeah. I'm sorry. 230 00:14:19,982 --> 00:14:22,382 I lost a couple of jobs this past week. 231 00:14:22,451 --> 00:14:26,615 Will, I need your help. Somebody's stealing my utilities. 232 00:14:26,688 --> 00:14:29,680 - Oh yeah? - Maybe you overheard something? 233 00:14:29,758 --> 00:14:32,556 No, I haven't. But I'll let you know if I do. 234 00:14:33,895 --> 00:14:35,760 I know your word, Will. 235 00:15:15,937 --> 00:15:17,837 ♪ I wish I was a fry cook ♪ 236 00:15:17,906 --> 00:15:20,568 ♪ Hurray, hurray. ♪ 237 00:15:20,642 --> 00:15:23,736 "Parking attendants. " No. 238 00:15:24,813 --> 00:15:28,476 "Recreational Center counselor. " No. 239 00:15:28,550 --> 00:15:31,815 "Office manager. " Hell no. 240 00:15:31,887 --> 00:15:36,450 No. 241 00:15:36,525 --> 00:15:38,015 And no. 242 00:15:44,332 --> 00:15:46,766 "Let me watch you fuck my wife"?! 243 00:15:46,835 --> 00:15:48,826 "Her, deliciously plump. 244 00:15:48,904 --> 00:15:51,464 You, big and Black with huge set. " 245 00:15:53,675 --> 00:15:56,166 "You supply the bathroom brownies, 246 00:15:56,244 --> 00:15:58,178 I sample them. " 247 00:16:00,082 --> 00:16:03,074 "Why settle for less when you can have three holes going? 248 00:16:03,151 --> 00:16:06,780 Call Katlyn for an unforgettable bachelor party. " 249 00:16:06,855 --> 00:16:09,380 Sick, sick people. 250 00:16:13,895 --> 00:16:15,385 Bachelor parties. 251 00:16:34,082 --> 00:16:37,108 What's the occasion? This place is fucking posh. 252 00:16:37,185 --> 00:16:40,450 What took you so long? Why is your hair wet? 253 00:16:40,522 --> 00:16:43,457 Because I took a shower. Good thing I did. 254 00:16:43,525 --> 00:16:46,119 - Check this out. - What's this? 255 00:16:46,194 --> 00:16:49,789 An epiphany. The single greatest idea I've ever had. 256 00:16:53,034 --> 00:16:54,695 What do you want? 257 00:16:54,769 --> 00:16:57,203 - Hi... - Order something. 258 00:16:57,272 --> 00:17:00,207 Oh. Could I have a burger... charbroiled... 259 00:17:00,275 --> 00:17:02,675 with an order of fries and a coke? 260 00:17:08,083 --> 00:17:10,847 - What are you looking at? - Nothing. 261 00:17:10,919 --> 00:17:13,149 Can I get a coffee? Black. 262 00:17:13,221 --> 00:17:14,711 I'm buying. Order something. 263 00:17:16,958 --> 00:17:18,289 Nah. 264 00:17:21,463 --> 00:17:23,090 What? 265 00:17:23,165 --> 00:17:24,792 - What's wrong? - You are invited. 266 00:17:24,866 --> 00:17:26,766 Come to my poop party"? 267 00:17:26,835 --> 00:17:28,826 You'll let people take a dump on you? 268 00:17:28,904 --> 00:17:31,099 - What? - You're sick. 269 00:17:31,173 --> 00:17:33,334 I thought I knew you, man. 270 00:17:33,408 --> 00:17:35,808 No. That's where I got the idea from. 271 00:17:35,877 --> 00:17:39,176 - Nobody's gonna crap in your face? - Of course not, you idiot. 272 00:17:39,247 --> 00:17:42,444 I changed my mind. Give me the same as him, with two free refills. 273 00:17:42,517 --> 00:17:44,109 - Too late. - Quit screwing around and listen. 274 00:17:44,186 --> 00:17:47,553 Picture this. It's the night before your wedding, 275 00:17:47,622 --> 00:17:50,887 and your friends have gotten together to throw you a bachelor party. 276 00:17:50,959 --> 00:17:53,359 You expect some booze and bawdy behavior, 277 00:17:53,428 --> 00:17:56,056 and of course, the requisite buxom babe. Standard. 278 00:17:56,131 --> 00:17:58,656 This guy will eat your boogers free, for nothing. 279 00:17:58,733 --> 00:18:02,863 That's where I come in. The groom-to-be is expecting a bimbo 280 00:18:02,938 --> 00:18:05,566 with tits from here till Tuesday and a gyrating lap dance. 281 00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:10,134 Instead, it's a male clown with fishnets and garters and a bustier, 282 00:18:19,421 --> 00:18:22,720 Did you eat crack for breakfast? What's the matter with you? 283 00:18:22,791 --> 00:18:25,225 It's a joke. Get it? 284 00:18:25,293 --> 00:18:28,023 Instead of the stripper, I show up to the party 285 00:18:28,096 --> 00:18:29,723 and shock the shit out of the groom! 286 00:18:29,798 --> 00:18:31,993 You're confident there's a calling for that? 287 00:18:32,067 --> 00:18:34,661 No one will be ripping my door off the hinges at first, 288 00:18:34,736 --> 00:18:37,102 but word of mouth advertising. 289 00:18:37,172 --> 00:18:39,572 I could develop a cult following. 290 00:18:39,641 --> 00:18:42,576 Admit, you've never heard anything like this before. 291 00:18:42,644 --> 00:18:45,704 - You got me there. - Everyone except the groom-to-be 292 00:18:45,780 --> 00:18:47,042 is in on the joke. 293 00:18:47,115 --> 00:18:49,709 I show up 20 minutes before the real entertainment, 294 00:18:49,784 --> 00:18:53,015 put on a show, then take off. It'll be funny! 295 00:18:53,088 --> 00:18:54,612 Will you still use the name Flappy? 296 00:18:54,689 --> 00:18:57,624 - 'Cause that will cause confusion. - What do you think? 297 00:18:57,692 --> 00:18:59,922 What's your stage name? You need a moniker. 298 00:18:59,995 --> 00:19:02,190 You can help me out with that. 299 00:19:04,299 --> 00:19:08,827 I know. How about " Will, the naked and retarded clown"? 300 00:19:08,903 --> 00:19:12,066 I won't be naked. Think of something else. 301 00:19:12,140 --> 00:19:15,166 Call a spade a spade. What you're proposing is vulgar. 302 00:19:17,312 --> 00:19:18,802 Vulgar. 303 00:19:20,548 --> 00:19:23,016 It has sort of a nice ring to it. 304 00:19:24,686 --> 00:19:28,019 - That might work, actually. - Work it. 305 00:20:07,762 --> 00:20:09,957 37. 306 00:20:10,031 --> 00:20:13,364 Well, here goes something. 307 00:20:24,045 --> 00:20:25,808 Hello, boys! 308 00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:27,745 Guess who! 309 00:20:33,955 --> 00:20:36,480 Oh. I'm sorry. 310 00:20:36,558 --> 00:20:39,584 - I must have the wrong place. - Not if you're ready to get down. 311 00:20:41,229 --> 00:20:44,198 - Looks like you are. - I got him! 312 00:20:46,234 --> 00:20:49,067 You and my dad, you're going to do the dog. 313 00:20:49,137 --> 00:20:51,867 Frankie, back off! He don't need to know that just yet. 314 00:20:51,940 --> 00:20:53,737 You don't come near him until I give the say so. 315 00:20:53,808 --> 00:20:56,538 This is my goddamn party! I run the show. 316 00:20:56,611 --> 00:20:58,442 Get your pajamas on. 317 00:21:00,715 --> 00:21:04,173 I didn't get to do anything! 318 00:21:04,252 --> 00:21:06,345 You promised he'd be pretty. 319 00:21:06,421 --> 00:21:09,857 - He's fucking ugly. - Close the lips, monkey balls! 320 00:21:09,924 --> 00:21:11,824 - He's Daddy's treat! - Shut up, Frankie! 321 00:21:11,893 --> 00:21:14,487 - You're trying to kiss up... - You're jealous, Gino, 322 00:21:14,562 --> 00:21:16,894 because Daddy let me hit the clown. He likes me better! 323 00:21:16,965 --> 00:21:20,401 He doesn't like you better. 324 00:21:20,468 --> 00:21:23,733 Where do you think you're going? This party ain't over. 325 00:21:23,805 --> 00:21:26,933 There's a shitload of fun to be had before you call this a night. 326 00:21:28,009 --> 00:21:29,601 Help me. 327 00:21:29,677 --> 00:21:32,976 Get that, Gino. This ain't no spectator sport. 328 00:21:43,525 --> 00:21:45,755 - I can do that. - Well, do it. 329 00:21:49,197 --> 00:21:51,722 Gino, show your brother a couple of steps over there. 330 00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:55,201 That boy has two left feet. 331 00:21:56,271 --> 00:21:58,171 Stop that kind of dancing. 332 00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:16,313 - Why do you get to be the clown? - Because I'm older. 333 00:22:16,391 --> 00:22:19,019 And I don't want any more lip from you. 334 00:22:19,093 --> 00:22:24,156 - What is going on over there? - He won't let me be the clown. 335 00:22:24,232 --> 00:22:28,134 I'm older. I'm pretending I'm the clown. 336 00:22:28,203 --> 00:22:31,172 Frankie's Daddy's little boy. That's all. 337 00:22:31,239 --> 00:22:34,333 Frankie, listen to your brother. He is the boss. 338 00:22:34,409 --> 00:22:35,842 No! 339 00:22:37,545 --> 00:22:41,003 What the fuck are you saying? Shut the fuck up! 340 00:22:41,082 --> 00:22:44,108 - I'll beat your ass! - If you motherfuckers can't get along, 341 00:22:44,185 --> 00:22:46,085 I am never bringing you with me ever again. 342 00:22:46,154 --> 00:22:47,951 Is that what you want? 343 00:22:48,022 --> 00:22:49,649 - No. - No. 344 00:22:49,724 --> 00:22:52,056 You know it's sweet. 345 00:22:52,126 --> 00:22:55,254 Do you want to miss out on your chance to... 346 00:22:55,330 --> 00:22:57,389 Shut your mouths! 347 00:22:58,633 --> 00:23:01,158 I want you to watch him. Can you do that? 348 00:23:01,236 --> 00:23:03,966 - I can. - Dad, he's getting away. 349 00:23:04,038 --> 00:23:08,134 - Will somebody stop him? - I could have stopped him. 350 00:23:18,253 --> 00:23:20,721 Save some for us. 351 00:23:20,788 --> 00:23:23,222 Where did you put my dust pipe? 352 00:23:23,291 --> 00:23:26,590 - In the shitbag. - Oh, the shitbag. 353 00:23:26,661 --> 00:23:29,152 I almost forgot about the shitbag. 354 00:23:29,230 --> 00:23:32,427 Gino... get the camera. 355 00:23:32,500 --> 00:23:34,491 I want to make a record of this. 356 00:23:34,569 --> 00:23:37,697 If I'm not mistaken, Mr. Fuckface here is... 357 00:23:37,772 --> 00:23:39,034 cherry. 358 00:23:42,744 --> 00:23:47,408 Daddy, you want it on SP, LP or SLP? 359 00:23:47,482 --> 00:23:49,575 I don't give a fat rat's ass, stupid bastard. 360 00:23:49,651 --> 00:23:51,846 - Just turn it on. - It is on. 361 00:23:53,154 --> 00:23:56,146 Shut the fuck up. I'm gonna start the show. 362 00:23:56,224 --> 00:24:00,183 What's your name? I asked you a question, sweet ass. 363 00:24:02,297 --> 00:24:03,730 Vulgar. 364 00:24:03,798 --> 00:24:07,529 - Vulgar the Clown. - Suck my daddy, swine fuck! 365 00:24:08,603 --> 00:24:11,265 Daddy! He's ruining everything! 366 00:24:11,339 --> 00:24:14,536 Shut the fuck up, Gino! You fucking pussy! 367 00:24:14,609 --> 00:24:16,577 Get your sphincter out of my frame, asshole! 368 00:24:16,644 --> 00:24:18,475 Cut it out! 369 00:24:18,546 --> 00:24:21,106 I mean, your real name, funny man! 370 00:24:21,182 --> 00:24:24,674 Stop laughing. Set him back up, you cocks. 371 00:24:24,752 --> 00:24:27,186 We'll just take that part out. 372 00:24:27,255 --> 00:24:29,416 All right, asshole. Same question. 373 00:24:29,490 --> 00:24:32,789 - What the fuck is your name? - William. 374 00:24:32,860 --> 00:24:35,090 - Why are you doing this? - Okay, William. 375 00:24:35,163 --> 00:24:36,152 Willy. Willy Billy. 376 00:24:36,230 --> 00:24:39,961 - What is it that you do? - I'm a party clown for kids. 377 00:24:40,034 --> 00:24:41,934 No, you're not. You're a cocksucker! 378 00:24:42,003 --> 00:24:43,527 You want me blowing it down your throat. 379 00:24:43,605 --> 00:24:46,267 - No. - Liar. I know faggots like you. 380 00:24:46,341 --> 00:24:49,868 Nothing like the feeling of some fucker's shaft down your throat? 381 00:24:49,944 --> 00:24:51,809 Could be some basehead. What do you care? 382 00:24:51,879 --> 00:24:53,744 Probably suck down his infected manstuff, 383 00:24:53,815 --> 00:24:55,783 smile and call it cherry pie. 384 00:24:55,850 --> 00:24:58,011 You get off on that shit, don't you? 385 00:24:58,086 --> 00:25:01,112 - No... - Yes, you do! 386 00:25:09,063 --> 00:25:10,963 Come on, let me go. 387 00:25:11,032 --> 00:25:12,556 I don't even know who you are. 388 00:25:12,634 --> 00:25:17,367 - My daddy's name is Edwina. - Shut your hole, you moron! 389 00:25:17,438 --> 00:25:19,531 You always do that. 390 00:25:19,607 --> 00:25:22,167 I won't try to press charges. 391 00:25:22,243 --> 00:25:24,768 You're goddamn right you won't. 392 00:25:24,846 --> 00:25:27,781 He's afraid of Dad. Look at him. 393 00:25:27,849 --> 00:25:30,215 He should be afraid of Dad. Dad's tough. 394 00:25:30,284 --> 00:25:33,048 - Let me fuck his cock pouch. - Not yet. 395 00:25:33,121 --> 00:25:35,555 - Now! - Soon, though. 396 00:25:35,623 --> 00:25:36,851 Soon you'll taste what's good. 397 00:25:36,924 --> 00:25:39,415 But first, I want him to say the words. 398 00:25:39,494 --> 00:25:43,191 Say, "I love to suck cock. " 399 00:25:45,099 --> 00:25:47,033 All right. All right. 400 00:25:47,101 --> 00:25:50,161 I love to suck cock. 401 00:25:50,238 --> 00:25:55,073 "My name is William, and I love to suck cock. " 402 00:25:55,143 --> 00:25:57,611 My name is William, 403 00:25:57,679 --> 00:25:59,738 and I love to suck cock. 404 00:25:59,814 --> 00:26:02,749 - Tonight's the night. - Please, stop. 405 00:26:02,817 --> 00:26:05,513 What we have here is a failure to communicate. 406 00:26:05,586 --> 00:26:09,078 - Some men you just can't reach. - Please, Edwina. 407 00:26:10,158 --> 00:26:11,648 Turn that thing off! 408 00:26:11,726 --> 00:26:13,819 What the fuck did you say to me? 409 00:26:13,895 --> 00:26:17,387 - Tonight's the night. - Before that. 410 00:26:17,465 --> 00:26:19,797 - You said my name. - I'm sorry. 411 00:26:19,867 --> 00:26:23,462 - I didn't know. - All right. Ass on the bed. Now! 412 00:26:23,538 --> 00:26:25,369 If I have to tell you again, 413 00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:28,841 the wind will be whistling Dixie through a hole in your face. 414 00:26:28,910 --> 00:26:31,276 Me and you are going to bed. That's a fact! 415 00:26:31,345 --> 00:26:34,508 I'm going to make hate to you! Get your ass up there! 416 00:26:43,291 --> 00:26:46,158 What do you think? We're going to kiss? 417 00:26:46,227 --> 00:26:48,092 Get him on his fucking stomach! 418 00:26:48,162 --> 00:26:50,426 Quit holding me up, Gino. Come on. 419 00:26:51,432 --> 00:26:53,024 Get away from me. 420 00:26:53,101 --> 00:26:54,591 No! 421 00:26:56,104 --> 00:26:58,800 - Time for the dog, Pop. - Don't rush me. 422 00:26:58,873 --> 00:27:01,967 - Daddy's going to cock him hard. - Damn right, I am! 423 00:27:02,043 --> 00:27:05,376 And you boys will toss the salad! 424 00:27:05,446 --> 00:27:08,313 - You never had it so good, did you? - He never did. 425 00:27:08,382 --> 00:27:09,974 Rim job! 426 00:27:11,152 --> 00:27:14,121 Now, the shame. 427 00:27:14,188 --> 00:27:16,452 Daddy's making his move! 428 00:27:33,841 --> 00:27:35,468 You know what you are, William? 429 00:27:35,543 --> 00:27:37,238 A whole lot of nothing. 430 00:27:40,481 --> 00:27:43,644 Do you know? Who got the shitbag? 431 00:27:43,718 --> 00:27:46,186 You're holding it, Dad. 432 00:27:51,292 --> 00:27:53,283 He was good. 433 00:30:34,288 --> 00:30:35,915 You... 434 00:30:35,990 --> 00:30:38,481 you fucking nobody! 435 00:32:30,604 --> 00:32:33,129 Open up, Will. 436 00:32:33,207 --> 00:32:36,074 When was last time you cleaned this place? 437 00:32:37,144 --> 00:32:38,941 What are you doing? 438 00:32:39,013 --> 00:32:41,709 Shit, what happened? 439 00:32:41,782 --> 00:32:43,773 Who did this? 440 00:32:43,851 --> 00:32:47,218 Did somebody rob you? One of those fucks outside? 441 00:32:47,288 --> 00:32:50,621 You sit there, all right? You'll be fine. 442 00:32:50,691 --> 00:32:53,251 - I'll call the cops. - No! 443 00:32:53,327 --> 00:32:55,625 Don't call anyone. 444 00:32:56,697 --> 00:32:59,791 - You couldn't, even if I let you. - Why? 445 00:33:02,570 --> 00:33:06,062 Will, tell me what happened to you. 446 00:33:06,140 --> 00:33:07,835 I'll tell you. 447 00:33:07,908 --> 00:33:11,071 I'll tell you. Just... 448 00:33:11,145 --> 00:33:13,909 don't say a word, 'cause once I tell you, that's it, 449 00:33:13,981 --> 00:33:16,415 it's never mentioned again. 450 00:33:16,484 --> 00:33:19,612 - I don't think... - I don't care about what you think 451 00:33:19,687 --> 00:33:21,780 at this precise moment. 452 00:33:23,791 --> 00:33:25,622 What I'm about to tell you... 453 00:33:25,693 --> 00:33:27,786 is not to leave this room. 454 00:33:27,862 --> 00:33:30,456 It can't and it won't. 455 00:33:31,532 --> 00:33:33,591 I'll deal with it in my own way. 456 00:33:33,667 --> 00:33:37,159 So, please, no questions or suggestions about what I should do. 457 00:33:37,238 --> 00:33:39,729 As far as anyone else is concerned, 458 00:33:39,807 --> 00:33:41,536 I was down by Gravely Point, 459 00:33:41,609 --> 00:33:44,237 and got jumped by some guy with a limp and a. 44 460 00:33:44,311 --> 00:33:47,041 who pistol-whipped my ass and took my wallet. 461 00:33:47,114 --> 00:33:48,445 All right? 462 00:33:49,884 --> 00:33:52,045 What choice do I have? 463 00:33:53,220 --> 00:33:54,551 This is what happened. 464 00:33:54,622 --> 00:33:57,523 - I must have the wrong place. - Not if you're ready to get down. 465 00:33:59,393 --> 00:34:01,520 Now, the shame. 466 00:34:01,829 --> 00:34:05,560 What happened after that, I don't remember so hot. 467 00:34:05,633 --> 00:34:08,932 All I know is that I woke up this morning alive, 468 00:34:09,003 --> 00:34:12,632 and I'm still trying to decide whether I should be thankful for that. 469 00:34:12,706 --> 00:34:15,368 I don't believe this. 470 00:34:15,442 --> 00:34:17,239 What did the doctor say? 471 00:34:18,546 --> 00:34:21,106 You didn't go to the hospital? 472 00:34:21,182 --> 00:34:24,640 - I just wanted to be home. - Somebody has to look at you. 473 00:34:24,718 --> 00:34:26,618 No questions, no suggestions. 474 00:34:26,687 --> 00:34:29,554 One of those scumbags could have given you a disease. 475 00:34:29,623 --> 00:34:32,592 - You agreed! - I know what I said! 476 00:34:32,660 --> 00:34:35,458 But we have to find these guys. They're sick! 477 00:34:35,529 --> 00:34:38,464 - You could have AIDS! - You think I haven't thought of that? 478 00:34:38,532 --> 00:34:41,057 You don't think that was my first thought? 479 00:34:41,135 --> 00:34:43,831 Fucking A, right, it was! But you know what? 480 00:34:43,904 --> 00:34:47,601 If one of them did have it, there's nothing I can do. 481 00:34:47,675 --> 00:34:50,439 - Will... - Will you shut the fuck up?! 482 00:34:50,511 --> 00:34:52,979 You're leaving them out there to do it to somebody else! 483 00:34:53,047 --> 00:34:55,413 - Not my problem. - It is your problem! 484 00:34:55,482 --> 00:34:57,916 Cops can track dogshit like these guys down. 485 00:34:57,985 --> 00:35:00,510 - You can help. - How would that look? 486 00:35:00,588 --> 00:35:03,751 - How would what look? - A man dressed as a perverted clown, 487 00:35:03,824 --> 00:35:06,520 shows up to a party for three men and cries foul 488 00:35:06,594 --> 00:35:08,926 - after being roughed up a bit? - A bit?! 489 00:35:08,996 --> 00:35:12,898 - There's more to it than that. - Do you want to know why? 490 00:35:12,967 --> 00:35:15,197 Because that's what a lawyer would do. 491 00:35:15,269 --> 00:35:17,362 And I won't sit in front of a jury who thinks 492 00:35:17,438 --> 00:35:20,339 I'm some degenerate defending my character. 493 00:35:20,407 --> 00:35:24,503 - You're not honest with yourself. - Will you stop reacting, 494 00:35:24,578 --> 00:35:28,776 and think about it?! They held me down and raped me! 495 00:35:28,849 --> 00:35:31,750 Exactly! That's why you shouldn't let them walk! 496 00:35:31,819 --> 00:35:35,585 - You should... - Syd, I don't want anyone to know! 497 00:35:35,656 --> 00:35:37,590 That's why. 498 00:35:39,093 --> 00:35:41,459 I don't want anyone to know. 499 00:35:41,528 --> 00:35:44,622 I just don't want anyone to know. 500 00:35:44,698 --> 00:35:48,190 - I don't want anyone to know! - All right. It's okay. 501 00:35:48,269 --> 00:35:49,600 No one else, right? 502 00:35:49,670 --> 00:35:53,898 Nobody else. 503 00:37:08,015 --> 00:37:11,178 Mrs. Affleck? This is Will Carlson, 504 00:37:11,251 --> 00:37:14,084 the party clown. I know it's short notice, 505 00:37:14,154 --> 00:37:15,917 I won't be able to make it. 506 00:37:15,989 --> 00:37:18,184 I'm sorry, something came up. 507 00:37:18,258 --> 00:37:21,694 No, I can't. I can't. 508 00:37:24,998 --> 00:37:28,024 Yes, this is really Flappy. 509 00:37:28,102 --> 00:37:30,468 No, it really is. 510 00:37:30,537 --> 00:37:32,004 L... 511 00:37:32,072 --> 00:37:33,801 I'll be there, Benny. 512 00:37:33,874 --> 00:37:35,899 See you soon. 513 00:37:48,555 --> 00:37:50,580 Hold up! 514 00:37:52,559 --> 00:37:56,222 Watch where you're going, fuckstick! 515 00:37:56,296 --> 00:37:57,957 Sorry! 516 00:37:58,031 --> 00:37:59,555 - Hurry up! - What's going on? 517 00:37:59,633 --> 00:38:02,261 Some dickhead got his walking papers. 518 00:38:02,336 --> 00:38:05,066 That thing friggin' rules! Let's go! 519 00:38:05,139 --> 00:38:07,505 - Walking papers? - Divorce papers, dumbass! 520 00:38:09,443 --> 00:38:11,741 Where do you think you're going? 521 00:38:11,812 --> 00:38:14,576 I'll have that shitbox towed right out of here! 522 00:38:18,886 --> 00:38:21,286 Don't you people have jobs? Let's go. 523 00:38:21,355 --> 00:38:22,913 Move it back. Let's go. 524 00:38:22,990 --> 00:38:25,117 I repeat, put the weapon down. 525 00:38:25,192 --> 00:38:26,887 Let Ashley go, Travis. 526 00:38:26,960 --> 00:38:29,793 I repeat, go fuck yourself! 527 00:38:29,863 --> 00:38:31,922 She's in charge here, not me! 528 00:38:31,999 --> 00:38:34,968 Not you, her! Jill started all this shit! 529 00:38:35,035 --> 00:38:37,026 Ashley knows it too! 530 00:38:37,104 --> 00:38:38,594 You hear that?! She knows! 531 00:38:40,140 --> 00:38:43,200 You think you can sneak around on me and get a divorce? 532 00:38:43,277 --> 00:38:46,678 I want what's rightfully mine! I want what's coming to me. 533 00:38:46,747 --> 00:38:49,011 I know you don't want to hurt your daughter. 534 00:38:49,082 --> 00:38:52,176 We both know that. This is about something else. 535 00:38:52,252 --> 00:38:55,278 Just talk to me. Maybe we can figure something out. 536 00:38:55,355 --> 00:38:58,085 - It'd be better... - I'll tell you what'd be better. 537 00:38:58,158 --> 00:38:59,785 Send that bitch in here! 538 00:38:59,860 --> 00:39:02,055 She comes in, Ashley comes out. 539 00:39:02,129 --> 00:39:04,461 Get your damn hands off me! I have to go! 540 00:39:04,531 --> 00:39:07,898 If your mother would listen, we wouldn't have to go through this. 541 00:39:13,106 --> 00:39:14,630 You think I'm fucking with you? 542 00:39:14,708 --> 00:39:16,437 You're talking about clearing this shit up, 543 00:39:16,510 --> 00:39:18,068 you've got cops skulking around! 544 00:39:18,145 --> 00:39:20,045 Don't jerk me off, Captain! 545 00:39:29,256 --> 00:39:31,247 It doesn't have to be this way. 546 00:39:31,325 --> 00:39:33,316 That's the way it's gotta be! 547 00:39:33,393 --> 00:39:35,691 If I go out, I ain't going out alone! 548 00:39:35,762 --> 00:39:38,253 I'll take a few of you fucks with me! 549 00:39:38,332 --> 00:39:41,995 No one's been hurt. Walk away with a clean conscience. 550 00:39:42,069 --> 00:39:44,970 - It'll be better for us both. - I'm better than you! 551 00:39:45,038 --> 00:39:47,563 - Better than all of you! - Talk to me, Travis. 552 00:39:47,641 --> 00:39:49,734 I need to know everything's okay in there. 553 00:39:49,810 --> 00:39:51,903 We're going to arrange a meeting with your wife. 554 00:39:51,979 --> 00:39:53,674 Nobody else, just her! 555 00:39:53,747 --> 00:39:55,612 You know I can't promise that. 556 00:39:55,682 --> 00:39:58,207 You think I'm some kind of asshole?! 557 00:39:58,285 --> 00:40:01,948 You think I don't know I'm fucked? You're fucked too! 558 00:40:02,022 --> 00:40:03,250 No matter what you think, 559 00:40:03,323 --> 00:40:05,757 you're not walking away from this a winner. No way! 560 00:40:05,826 --> 00:40:08,158 Is there anything you'd like? 561 00:40:08,228 --> 00:40:09,627 Some sandwiches, coffee maybe? 562 00:40:09,696 --> 00:40:11,823 - Something for Ashley? - No! 563 00:40:11,899 --> 00:40:14,265 There's only one thing on my mind. 564 00:40:14,334 --> 00:40:16,962 You have the power to grant me one request? 565 00:40:17,037 --> 00:40:18,800 Within reason. What do you want? 566 00:40:18,872 --> 00:40:21,397 Bitch's head on a stake. 567 00:40:36,557 --> 00:40:38,582 A deranged father. 568 00:40:38,659 --> 00:40:40,854 An innocent young girl. 569 00:40:40,928 --> 00:40:43,590 It could have ended up yet another statistic 570 00:40:43,664 --> 00:40:47,225 in the growing holocaust of violent domestic unrest 571 00:40:47,301 --> 00:40:49,667 that plagues this country. 572 00:40:49,736 --> 00:40:52,136 But a hometown hero got involved. 573 00:40:52,205 --> 00:40:55,072 Or rather, a hometown clown. 574 00:40:55,142 --> 00:40:58,236 A clown who's got something to smile about, 575 00:40:58,312 --> 00:41:01,611 one eternally grateful little girl. 576 00:41:01,682 --> 00:41:04,480 Let's please welcome Will Carlson, 577 00:41:04,551 --> 00:41:08,419 better known as Flappy the Clown. Welcome to the show. 578 00:41:20,267 --> 00:41:21,427 Will... 579 00:41:21,501 --> 00:41:23,628 what I'd like you to do now 580 00:41:23,704 --> 00:41:25,672 is to take us back. 581 00:41:25,739 --> 00:41:28,003 Tell me what was going through your mind, 582 00:41:28,075 --> 00:41:30,669 what the catalyst, one might say, 583 00:41:30,744 --> 00:41:34,874 was that led you to confront this maniac? 584 00:41:34,948 --> 00:41:38,884 I've given this some thought over the past few days. 585 00:41:38,952 --> 00:41:40,977 To be totally honest, 586 00:41:41,054 --> 00:41:43,147 I still don't know. 587 00:41:43,223 --> 00:41:45,623 There was a little girl that you saved. 588 00:41:45,692 --> 00:41:48,160 - A little eight-year-old girl. - Yeah. 589 00:41:48,228 --> 00:41:50,321 Then the fact that it was a child, 590 00:41:50,397 --> 00:41:52,729 perhaps, that moved you in some way? 591 00:41:52,799 --> 00:41:56,860 Call me old-fashioned, but I've always had a soft spot 592 00:41:56,937 --> 00:41:59,167 for kids with guns pointed at their heads. 593 00:42:00,841 --> 00:42:02,536 But seriously, 594 00:42:02,609 --> 00:42:04,907 you could have easily have been killed. 595 00:42:04,978 --> 00:42:08,880 I can't tell you how many times I've been told that, 596 00:42:08,949 --> 00:42:12,248 - but here I am. - And here you are. 597 00:42:12,319 --> 00:42:14,583 Let's take a few questions from the audience. 598 00:42:14,655 --> 00:42:16,282 Yes, ma'am. 599 00:42:17,357 --> 00:42:19,291 Hi, Flappy. 600 00:42:19,359 --> 00:42:21,156 Hi. 601 00:42:21,228 --> 00:42:25,028 I'm glad you killed that worthless piece of trash. 602 00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:28,934 I didn't kill him. 603 00:42:29,002 --> 00:42:32,494 - I didn't kill him. - You're no hero. 604 00:42:32,572 --> 00:42:35,234 Now, is there a ceiling on how much crap 605 00:42:35,308 --> 00:42:38,038 we, as Americans, have to tolerate from like this? 606 00:42:39,546 --> 00:42:41,912 Also, I was wondering 607 00:42:41,982 --> 00:42:45,679 if you'd consider doing another kind of party? 608 00:42:45,752 --> 00:42:49,745 Umm... I didn't quite catch the first part of that question. 609 00:42:49,823 --> 00:42:52,883 And as for the latter... I didn't get that either. 610 00:42:52,959 --> 00:42:55,393 I still do parties for kids! 611 00:42:59,866 --> 00:43:02,334 Only humans can he heroes, right? 612 00:43:02,402 --> 00:43:04,893 Tell that to Walt Flannigan's dog, 613 00:43:04,971 --> 00:43:07,599 a gutsy pooch who pulled his screaming master 614 00:43:07,674 --> 00:43:09,574 from a burning comic book store. 615 00:43:09,643 --> 00:43:12,441 That story and other hometown heroes... 616 00:43:18,485 --> 00:43:19,679 Don't. 617 00:43:27,227 --> 00:43:28,319 Flappy. 618 00:43:29,696 --> 00:43:33,427 - May I suggest a sandwich, sir? - You may suggest nothing. 619 00:43:33,500 --> 00:43:36,230 Please... he's a fucking party clown. There's not too many of them. 620 00:43:36,303 --> 00:43:38,237 Now find him and get back to me. 621 00:43:38,305 --> 00:43:41,069 Jesus H. Christ, are you still out here from last week? 622 00:43:41,141 --> 00:43:43,769 - Well, if it isn't Mr. Funny Pants. - It's not his fault. 623 00:43:43,844 --> 00:43:45,607 There's been a horrible wind shear all morning. 624 00:43:45,679 --> 00:43:47,670 Relax. 625 00:43:47,748 --> 00:43:49,739 Where have you been? You're an hour late. 626 00:43:49,816 --> 00:43:51,545 Somebody's got to secure our positions 627 00:43:51,618 --> 00:43:53,586 at the top of the entertainment biz. 628 00:43:53,653 --> 00:43:54,585 Damn. 629 00:43:54,654 --> 00:43:56,622 You're not even fucking listening. 630 00:43:57,958 --> 00:43:59,425 All right, Marty, what's on your mind? 631 00:43:59,493 --> 00:44:02,985 Well, Gil, how would you like to be responsible for programming 632 00:44:03,063 --> 00:44:06,089 one of the most popular kiddie shows of all time? 633 00:44:06,166 --> 00:44:07,565 Well, Marty, I'd love it. 634 00:44:07,634 --> 00:44:09,499 Kind of missed my window, though. 635 00:44:09,569 --> 00:44:12,003 Sesame Street's been on for quite some time. 636 00:44:12,072 --> 00:44:15,701 I'm talking about now, about a new show. 637 00:44:15,776 --> 00:44:16,765 Gil? 638 00:44:17,944 --> 00:44:19,673 I'm talking about Flappy. 639 00:44:19,746 --> 00:44:21,373 - Who? - He said Flappy. 640 00:44:21,448 --> 00:44:24,417 I know what he said. Stand over there, please. 641 00:44:24,484 --> 00:44:27,044 You've got to tell me what you're talking about 642 00:44:27,120 --> 00:44:30,988 - before I can give you an appraisal. - First off, it's not a what. 643 00:44:31,057 --> 00:44:34,857 It's a who. And he's making a big splash, Orca-style. 644 00:44:34,928 --> 00:44:37,795 It's the hero clown. The one who saved the little girl. 645 00:44:37,864 --> 00:44:40,355 - The father and guns and everything. - Boring. 646 00:44:40,433 --> 00:44:42,401 He's become a media darling. 647 00:44:42,469 --> 00:44:44,596 It's already transcended the local networks. 648 00:44:44,671 --> 00:44:47,265 This guy has been on two nationwide tabloid shows. 649 00:44:47,340 --> 00:44:49,308 And he's scheduled for prime time tonight. 650 00:44:49,376 --> 00:44:52,311 And what did you say his name is again? 651 00:44:52,379 --> 00:44:54,176 Flappy. 652 00:44:54,247 --> 00:44:56,181 How can you not love that? 653 00:44:56,249 --> 00:44:57,944 Not loving it. 654 00:44:58,018 --> 00:44:59,178 Fine. 655 00:44:59,252 --> 00:45:01,914 It's all right. Just work on your... 656 00:45:01,988 --> 00:45:05,219 let me tell you about this one time I brought this other kid's show 657 00:45:05,292 --> 00:45:07,157 - to Gil's attention. - Hey! Hey! 658 00:45:07,227 --> 00:45:09,559 We agreed never to bring that up again. 659 00:45:09,629 --> 00:45:11,324 Not even in jest. 660 00:45:11,398 --> 00:45:13,958 Nobody knew that big, fat purple bastard 661 00:45:14,034 --> 00:45:15,899 would have such staying power. 662 00:45:15,969 --> 00:45:17,800 Who is this Flappy guy? 663 00:45:17,871 --> 00:45:21,500 People save kids every day of the week. 664 00:45:21,575 --> 00:45:23,634 I heard some flea-footed dog saved his master. 665 00:45:23,710 --> 00:45:27,373 - You want to give him a TV show too? - People love him. 666 00:45:27,447 --> 00:45:29,244 If you're a parent and you haven't secured him 667 00:45:29,316 --> 00:45:31,250 for your kids' party, forget it. 668 00:45:31,318 --> 00:45:33,411 You're meat. They hate you. 669 00:45:33,486 --> 00:45:36,387 This guy's gonna be big! I can feel it. 670 00:45:36,456 --> 00:45:38,583 That prehistoric shitbag, dude, he's scrapnel. 671 00:45:38,658 --> 00:45:40,751 This Flappy is prime fucking rib! 672 00:45:40,827 --> 00:45:44,092 - Strike while the iron's hot! - All right. Listen. 673 00:45:44,164 --> 00:45:46,962 We've got two months until our contracts are re-upped. 674 00:45:47,033 --> 00:45:49,399 - If he's still as hot then... - Listen. 675 00:45:49,469 --> 00:45:53,030 - ♪ I love you, you love me... ♪ - All right! 676 00:45:53,106 --> 00:45:56,735 All right, you pushy bastard. Get this Flappy guy on board. 677 00:45:56,810 --> 00:45:58,869 - Yes! - No... and I repeat... 678 00:45:58,945 --> 00:46:01,880 no long-term deal, standard contract only. 679 00:46:01,948 --> 00:46:04,644 I'm not marrying some wet-behind-the-ears rookie. 680 00:46:04,718 --> 00:46:06,481 Gil? 681 00:46:06,553 --> 00:46:08,783 Flappy's the word. 682 00:46:08,855 --> 00:46:11,346 ♪ Flappy's the word, is the word ♪ 683 00:46:11,424 --> 00:46:13,119 - ♪ Have you heard... ♪ - Marty, do you mind? 684 00:46:13,193 --> 00:46:14,125 It's cool. 685 00:46:18,331 --> 00:46:19,559 Flappy... 686 00:46:19,633 --> 00:46:21,430 you had better have me golfing 687 00:46:21,501 --> 00:46:24,061 with some players in Hawaii by year's end. 688 00:46:25,272 --> 00:46:27,433 He will, sir. He will. 689 00:46:27,507 --> 00:46:30,340 - The wedge! - Wise choice, sir. 690 00:46:45,525 --> 00:46:48,050 Look, I don't know who you're collecting for, 691 00:46:48,128 --> 00:46:51,154 but they can save a cell for me down in debtors prison. 692 00:46:51,231 --> 00:46:52,789 Oh. Mr. Carlson. 693 00:46:52,866 --> 00:46:55,357 Hi. No, I'm Martan Ingram. 694 00:46:55,435 --> 00:46:56,959 Jayram Television. 695 00:46:57,037 --> 00:46:58,937 You know, out at the highlands. 696 00:46:59,005 --> 00:47:01,872 - Oh. I'm sorry. Come in. - Thank you. 697 00:47:01,942 --> 00:47:03,466 Come in. 698 00:47:05,011 --> 00:47:07,571 You know how those bill collectors can be, 699 00:47:07,647 --> 00:47:10,741 wanting payment on goods and services, the nerve. 700 00:47:10,817 --> 00:47:13,308 They can be trying. Ummm... 701 00:47:13,386 --> 00:47:15,877 let me cut right to the chase. 702 00:47:15,956 --> 00:47:18,186 Have you ever done any television before? 703 00:47:18,258 --> 00:47:20,226 A ton in the past few weeks. 704 00:47:20,293 --> 00:47:23,490 Oh, the news, but I'm talking about before that. 705 00:47:23,563 --> 00:47:26,555 Well, once I was eating at Ray's Ribtip Grill, 706 00:47:26,633 --> 00:47:28,430 and this old dude smashed through the window 707 00:47:28,501 --> 00:47:30,992 and killed this retarded kid, and they asked me for a comment 708 00:47:31,071 --> 00:47:32,265 on the 11:00 news. 709 00:47:33,340 --> 00:47:34,671 Well... I... 710 00:47:37,410 --> 00:47:40,208 I meant, have you thought of hosting your own show? 711 00:47:40,280 --> 00:47:44,148 Well, I was trying to set up something on cable access, 712 00:47:44,217 --> 00:47:48,779 - but air time doesn't come cheap. - It can be pricey. 713 00:47:48,855 --> 00:47:52,985 I was thinking that I... we, at Jayram... 714 00:47:53,059 --> 00:47:56,495 we're extremely enthusiastic about you hosting your own show. 715 00:47:56,563 --> 00:47:58,793 Yeah, right. Where's the camera? 716 00:47:58,865 --> 00:48:00,890 Who are you, Allen Funt's evil twin? 717 00:48:03,269 --> 00:48:06,067 - You're serious? - As a heart attack. 718 00:48:07,374 --> 00:48:10,468 I always wanted to say that. You'd be syndicated, 719 00:48:10,543 --> 00:48:12,909 which means that every kid, from Portland, Oregon 720 00:48:12,979 --> 00:48:15,607 to Portland, Maine, would be watching your show, 721 00:48:15,682 --> 00:48:17,877 or more specifically, you, the Flappy. 722 00:48:19,352 --> 00:48:23,254 - I don't know what to think. - I brought a contract along, 723 00:48:23,323 --> 00:48:27,259 and it's spelled out fairly clearly. I was hoping we could... 724 00:48:28,495 --> 00:48:29,655 jeez... 725 00:48:29,729 --> 00:48:31,924 I'm rushing you, aren't I? 726 00:48:31,998 --> 00:48:34,831 God, I'm not even thinking this is sudden for you. 727 00:48:36,069 --> 00:48:38,833 That's one way of putting it. Surreal might be another. 728 00:48:38,905 --> 00:48:41,066 Why don't we do this like real people? 729 00:48:41,141 --> 00:48:42,904 Do you want to have dinner tonight? 730 00:48:42,976 --> 00:48:46,468 If you want, feel free to bring your agent along. 731 00:48:46,546 --> 00:48:50,004 - That's fine with me. - I don't exactly have an agent. 732 00:48:51,785 --> 00:48:54,777 Well... if we had to, we could wait. 733 00:48:54,854 --> 00:48:57,448 No! I mean, no. 734 00:48:57,524 --> 00:48:59,992 Why give those guys 10%? 735 00:49:00,060 --> 00:49:03,723 It's just that my car is a bit on the fritz. 736 00:49:03,797 --> 00:49:06,322 Not a problem. We'll send a car to pick you up. 737 00:49:06,399 --> 00:49:09,732 - 7:00? - That would be great. 738 00:49:09,803 --> 00:49:11,930 Ummm... why, though? 739 00:49:12,005 --> 00:49:14,337 If you're partial to public transportation, 740 00:49:14,407 --> 00:49:18,468 - by all means, take the bus. - No, no. Why the show? 741 00:49:18,545 --> 00:49:21,480 Why me? I know I helped a little girl... 742 00:49:21,548 --> 00:49:23,106 Helped her? 743 00:49:23,183 --> 00:49:25,708 You saved her. 744 00:49:25,785 --> 00:49:28,049 People remember things like that. 745 00:49:30,190 --> 00:49:31,953 Have you ever heard of karma? 746 00:49:32,025 --> 00:49:34,960 - Yeah. - Okay, then. 747 00:49:42,068 --> 00:49:44,298 Hi, Mom. 748 00:49:44,370 --> 00:49:46,838 Visiting hours are over. You have to leave. 749 00:49:46,906 --> 00:49:49,739 The secretary said I could drop by. 750 00:49:49,809 --> 00:49:52,471 I'm sorry I haven't been by in a few days. I've been busy. 751 00:49:52,545 --> 00:49:55,070 - I saw you on the television. - You did? 752 00:49:55,148 --> 00:49:56,877 That's what I'm here to talk about. 753 00:49:56,950 --> 00:49:59,680 Of course, I was watching it in the community room. 754 00:49:59,752 --> 00:50:02,721 I don't have a TV of my own, like everyone else here. 755 00:50:02,789 --> 00:50:05,690 You will soon. I have some pretty good news. 756 00:50:05,758 --> 00:50:08,090 - Sure. - No, I do. 757 00:50:08,161 --> 00:50:11,358 Someone from one of the networks saw what I did. 758 00:50:11,431 --> 00:50:13,729 It was a very stupid thing to do. 759 00:50:13,800 --> 00:50:15,859 Some people think that. 760 00:50:15,935 --> 00:50:18,335 It might not have been one of my smartest moves... 761 00:50:18,404 --> 00:50:20,497 I don't know that you've ever made a smart move 762 00:50:20,573 --> 00:50:22,871 in your whole miserable existence. 763 00:50:22,942 --> 00:50:26,105 I'm sorry about what I said. When you talk about him... 764 00:50:26,179 --> 00:50:29,706 I didn't mean it. I got a little mad. 765 00:50:29,782 --> 00:50:33,013 Can we forget it happened and start fresh? 766 00:50:33,086 --> 00:50:35,179 I don't have to stand for that. 767 00:50:35,255 --> 00:50:38,156 I know. I said I'm sorry. I didn't come here to fight. 768 00:50:38,224 --> 00:50:41,057 I came to tell you that I got a job. 769 00:50:41,127 --> 00:50:42,651 On television! 770 00:50:42,729 --> 00:50:44,754 Television? 771 00:50:44,831 --> 00:50:48,198 They must have put you on as a maintenance man. 772 00:50:48,268 --> 00:50:49,997 You have no skills. 773 00:50:50,069 --> 00:50:52,196 What could you be qualified for? 774 00:50:52,272 --> 00:50:56,106 I'm a clown, just like I've always wanted to be. 775 00:50:56,176 --> 00:50:57,871 It finally worked out. 776 00:50:57,944 --> 00:50:59,741 For a while, it looked bleak, 777 00:50:59,812 --> 00:51:02,280 and I thought I might have to give it up, but I'm glad I didn't! 778 00:51:02,348 --> 00:51:05,317 Still with the clown business? 779 00:51:05,385 --> 00:51:07,285 You'll go nowhere with that. 780 00:51:07,353 --> 00:51:11,722 I've tried to drum some sense into that skull of yours for years... 781 00:51:11,791 --> 00:51:13,918 Mom, you're not listening. 782 00:51:13,993 --> 00:51:17,053 I have my own show, my own regular TV show. 783 00:51:17,130 --> 00:51:20,190 It will be called, Flappy's Fun House. 784 00:51:20,266 --> 00:51:22,200 That's an absurd name. 785 00:51:22,268 --> 00:51:25,431 They thought of the name. But it'll be pretty good. 786 00:51:25,505 --> 00:51:28,133 It has some positive messages, and no violence. 787 00:51:28,208 --> 00:51:31,507 The idea is that it teaches and entertains at the same time. 788 00:51:31,578 --> 00:51:33,978 What parent in their right mind 789 00:51:34,047 --> 00:51:37,016 would let their child watch such foolishness? 790 00:51:37,083 --> 00:51:39,381 It won't last. Even I can see that. 791 00:51:39,452 --> 00:51:42,546 You'll end up right back where you started. 792 00:51:42,622 --> 00:51:45,352 Seems you were born to be a bumbling idiot. 793 00:51:46,526 --> 00:51:50,257 What is so hard about being happy for me? 794 00:51:50,330 --> 00:51:54,323 Why can't you say anything nice? 795 00:51:54,400 --> 00:51:56,425 Why bother telling you? 796 00:51:56,502 --> 00:51:58,060 I'd just as soon you didn't annoy me 797 00:51:58,137 --> 00:52:00,332 with such asinine fairy tales. 798 00:52:00,406 --> 00:52:03,637 - Television! - Want me to show you the contracts? 799 00:52:03,710 --> 00:52:07,305 - What do you need? Written proof? - Maven on the move. 800 00:52:07,380 --> 00:52:12,909 What you need to learn is what you do is nothing more than a hobby. 801 00:52:12,986 --> 00:52:15,546 It's a job, not a hobby. 802 00:52:15,622 --> 00:52:19,080 Yes, well, you've overstayed your welcome. 803 00:52:20,593 --> 00:52:22,493 Go on, get out! 804 00:52:22,562 --> 00:52:24,462 Bring some good news back with you next time, 805 00:52:24,530 --> 00:52:26,930 not some bullshit about having a real job! 806 00:52:27,000 --> 00:52:30,766 I'll believe you have a real job the day you can walk in, 807 00:52:30,837 --> 00:52:33,362 and your hands aren't softer than a newborn's ass. 808 00:52:33,439 --> 00:52:37,170 Out! I don't want to hear it. You make me ill. 809 00:52:54,761 --> 00:52:57,594 Well, kids, you won't believe this, 810 00:52:57,664 --> 00:53:00,690 but that's all the time we have for today. 811 00:53:03,002 --> 00:53:05,869 Have no fear. We'll do it all again tomorrow, 812 00:53:05,938 --> 00:53:09,465 with more fun and excitement on Flappy's Fun House! 813 00:53:09,542 --> 00:53:11,407 Yeah! 814 00:53:12,478 --> 00:53:15,140 Now, I want to thank you, 815 00:53:15,214 --> 00:53:18,307 and you, 816 00:53:18,384 --> 00:53:22,218 for helping me make this first show a big success. 817 00:53:22,288 --> 00:53:24,518 I want you to do what Flappy did. 818 00:53:24,590 --> 00:53:27,354 Stay in school and take care of yourself, 819 00:53:27,427 --> 00:53:31,659 because you know what? You're the only you you've got. 820 00:53:31,731 --> 00:53:34,256 And I'm not clowning around! 821 00:53:38,705 --> 00:53:41,765 - Excuse me. - You are a natural. 822 00:53:41,841 --> 00:53:44,867 - You realize that, don't you? - Hello, Flappy. Martan 823 00:53:44,944 --> 00:53:47,708 Cinnamon, get the door. These kids, they just... 824 00:53:47,780 --> 00:53:50,613 - they love you. - They do, don't they? 825 00:53:50,683 --> 00:53:52,617 Absolutely. I'm no psychic friend, 826 00:53:52,685 --> 00:53:55,950 but I'll bet that within a year, you'll be more popular 827 00:53:56,022 --> 00:53:59,389 than "It's Scotty" and those powerful Rangers. 828 00:53:59,459 --> 00:54:01,927 - Really? - Yes. 829 00:54:05,498 --> 00:54:07,056 Fuck. 830 00:55:12,932 --> 00:55:14,729 It came, Mommy! 831 00:55:14,801 --> 00:55:17,361 - Flappy sent the video! - So he did. 832 00:55:17,437 --> 00:55:19,769 - Want me to open it for you? - "Want me to open it for you?" 833 00:55:19,839 --> 00:55:22,433 Would you two shut up? I'm trying to watch a picture here. 834 00:55:22,508 --> 00:55:25,671 - Shut up, you old fool. - Shut up, old fool. 835 00:55:25,745 --> 00:55:29,181 Hey, I don't want her talking to me like that. 836 00:55:29,248 --> 00:55:32,183 - Can I watch it now? - You certainly can. 837 00:55:32,251 --> 00:55:35,345 What? I was watching something. 838 00:55:35,421 --> 00:55:37,685 I noticed. 839 00:55:37,757 --> 00:55:39,691 It's just that I don't care. 840 00:55:41,160 --> 00:55:45,529 - What? I pay the damn rent! - Watch your English around her. 841 00:55:45,598 --> 00:55:47,361 What does that say? Volume eight? 842 00:55:47,433 --> 00:55:50,163 Have you been buying that crap and not telling me? 843 00:55:51,938 --> 00:55:54,338 - What is it? - It's Flappy's Funhouse! 844 00:55:54,407 --> 00:55:56,432 I can read. What's a Flappy? 845 00:55:56,509 --> 00:55:58,500 I like and love Flappy. 846 00:56:00,446 --> 00:56:02,710 - That tells me nothing... - Leave her alone. 847 00:56:02,782 --> 00:56:06,115 Leave me alone. He's mad 'cause Flappy's better than him. 848 00:56:06,185 --> 00:56:08,949 All right, that's it. I'm going out with my boys. 849 00:56:09,021 --> 00:56:10,750 We're bowling tonight. 850 00:56:10,823 --> 00:56:13,451 - League champs, I might add. - Oh, I care. 851 00:56:13,526 --> 00:56:16,120 Do they have social lives? 852 00:56:16,195 --> 00:56:17,787 I have never seen two grown men 853 00:56:17,864 --> 00:56:20,492 who'd rather hang out with their father constantly 854 00:56:20,566 --> 00:56:24,332 instead of going on dates, or at least attempting to meet women. 855 00:56:24,403 --> 00:56:26,496 Oh yeah? Maybe that's what we're doing. 856 00:56:26,572 --> 00:56:29,132 - Have you considered that? - Who in their right mind 857 00:56:29,208 --> 00:56:30,698 would be interested in you? 858 00:56:30,776 --> 00:56:33,244 I can't believe I was for that fleeting moment. 859 00:56:33,312 --> 00:56:35,746 You know, that front door hasn't moved. 860 00:56:38,885 --> 00:56:41,513 Look at this. A clown. 861 00:56:41,587 --> 00:56:42,679 How unique. 862 00:56:42,755 --> 00:56:45,315 No one has ever thought of putting a clown on TV before. 863 00:56:45,391 --> 00:56:48,656 You people are so easily taken, 864 00:56:48,728 --> 00:56:50,320 especially you. 865 00:57:13,019 --> 00:57:14,577 My name's William, 866 00:57:14,654 --> 00:57:18,317 and I love to suck cocks. I love... 867 00:57:18,391 --> 00:57:20,325 to suck cock. 868 00:57:21,594 --> 00:57:22,891 For kids. 869 00:57:33,873 --> 00:57:36,967 Gee, Ed, if I had known you were gonna develop 870 00:57:37,043 --> 00:57:38,271 such an affinity for it, 871 00:57:38,344 --> 00:57:41,006 I'd have signed you up for his fan club. 872 00:57:45,818 --> 00:57:48,082 - Mom! - What's the matter, jackass?! 873 00:57:48,154 --> 00:57:50,349 He sure is one. 874 00:58:01,834 --> 00:58:05,668 I was like, " 10 grand for a store opening?" 875 00:58:05,738 --> 00:58:07,729 I felt like I was robbing the guy. 876 00:58:07,807 --> 00:58:10,207 I half expected him to ask me for help trafficking 877 00:58:10,276 --> 00:58:12,301 black market babies to Mexico. 878 00:58:12,378 --> 00:58:15,814 I'd do it for 10 grand. Which way to the border? 879 00:58:15,881 --> 00:58:18,475 I'm getting another call. 880 00:58:18,551 --> 00:58:21,577 Don't forget we're having dinner with Phil at Raskin's tonight. 881 00:58:21,654 --> 00:58:23,781 I'll give you a call around 8:00. 882 00:58:23,856 --> 00:58:25,619 Talk to you then. 883 00:58:25,691 --> 00:58:27,124 Hello? 884 00:58:27,193 --> 00:58:29,957 Hello, fuckface! 885 00:58:30,029 --> 00:58:32,759 - Who is this? - Say it isn't so. 886 00:58:32,832 --> 00:58:34,322 You've forgotten me already. 887 00:58:37,136 --> 00:58:39,570 And after we were so... 888 00:58:39,639 --> 00:58:41,266 familiar. 889 00:58:47,747 --> 00:58:51,080 - What the hell do you want? - It's all coming back to you now? 890 00:58:51,117 --> 00:58:54,245 I thought it might. What do I want? 891 00:58:54,320 --> 00:58:56,515 That's a good question. 892 00:58:56,589 --> 00:58:59,990 Immortality? Legendary status? 893 00:59:00,059 --> 00:59:03,085 Wait! I've got it! $50,000! 894 00:59:03,162 --> 00:59:07,599 For what?! Count yourself fortunate your ass isn't in jail. 895 00:59:07,667 --> 00:59:10,397 I should have called the cops on you, you sick fuck! 896 00:59:10,469 --> 00:59:12,801 Who the fuck do you think you're talking to? 897 00:59:12,872 --> 00:59:16,137 I'll show them the goddamn tape. I'll bury you! 898 00:59:16,208 --> 00:59:18,176 What tape? 899 00:59:18,244 --> 00:59:20,542 You put on a good performance that night. 900 00:59:20,613 --> 00:59:22,581 You took off the clown garments... 901 00:59:22,648 --> 00:59:24,377 did it all. 902 00:59:24,450 --> 00:59:27,283 The show was good. Worth the money. 903 00:59:27,353 --> 00:59:29,981 I didn't put on any show. You know it. 904 00:59:30,056 --> 00:59:32,581 What does your tape show? What you did to me? 905 00:59:32,658 --> 00:59:35,525 Go ahead, shoot yourself in the foot, by all means. 906 00:59:35,594 --> 00:59:37,619 You're trying to call my bluff. 907 00:59:37,697 --> 00:59:39,927 That's not all the tape shows, handsome. 908 00:59:39,999 --> 00:59:41,830 It shows you getting down, 909 00:59:41,901 --> 00:59:44,961 but it seems you like talking about what you do. 910 00:59:45,037 --> 00:59:47,699 - I don't believe you. - That's fine. 911 00:59:47,773 --> 00:59:49,707 It's just that my boy Gino, 912 00:59:49,775 --> 00:59:52,972 if there's one thing he likes it's fooling around with that camera, 913 00:59:53,045 --> 00:59:56,276 making little movies, editing... 914 00:59:57,349 --> 01:00:01,479 I knew it. Give me my video. 915 01:00:02,621 --> 01:00:05,488 Now listen. You'll want to work with me on this. 916 01:00:05,558 --> 01:00:07,822 If I show that tape to a few people... 917 01:00:07,893 --> 01:00:11,056 the right people or the wrong people, depending on how you look at it... 918 01:00:11,130 --> 01:00:13,928 Flappy's in for a world of trouble, wouldn't you say? 919 01:00:13,999 --> 01:00:17,162 What assurance do I have that this tape even exists? 920 01:00:17,236 --> 01:00:20,034 - Once you get the money, then what? - You get the tape. 921 01:00:20,106 --> 01:00:21,164 This is the only one? 922 01:00:21,240 --> 01:00:24,573 How can I be certain another one won't mysteriously pop up? 923 01:00:24,643 --> 01:00:27,635 - You can't be. - Then why would I agree? 924 01:00:27,713 --> 01:00:29,943 Because you have no choice, Mr. Fuck-face! 925 01:00:30,015 --> 01:00:32,381 Stop calling me that! 926 01:00:34,186 --> 01:00:35,949 - When? - Tomorrow. 927 01:00:36,021 --> 01:00:37,921 How about the corner phone at Snub and Cornwall? 928 01:00:37,990 --> 01:00:41,187 - I suggest you be there and wait. - I want to know now. 929 01:00:41,260 --> 01:00:43,785 I'd let you know right now, but I have my eye... 930 01:00:43,863 --> 01:00:46,058 on the most delicious young gentleman. 931 01:00:46,132 --> 01:00:50,296 Couldn't be more than seven. So supple at that age, so... 932 01:00:50,369 --> 01:00:52,360 goodbye, fuck-face! 933 01:01:02,948 --> 01:01:04,415 What? 934 01:01:06,685 --> 01:01:08,710 When you told me what happened that night, 935 01:01:08,788 --> 01:01:11,348 you didn't mention a video camera. 936 01:01:11,423 --> 01:01:14,722 Think hard. Are you sure you don't remember? 937 01:01:14,794 --> 01:01:16,887 I'm sure. 938 01:01:16,962 --> 01:01:19,123 I could barely remember anything the next day, 939 01:01:19,198 --> 01:01:21,132 let alone a year later. 940 01:01:23,269 --> 01:01:25,897 What are the chances he would hold on to something like that? 941 01:01:25,971 --> 01:01:27,962 I think he's bullshitting you. 942 01:01:28,040 --> 01:01:31,601 That's the thing. I don't know. 943 01:01:31,677 --> 01:01:34,043 I'd like to believe he is... 944 01:01:35,114 --> 01:01:36,945 but I'm not sure. 945 01:01:38,184 --> 01:01:39,947 I don't think he is. 946 01:01:41,253 --> 01:01:43,414 What are you going to do? 947 01:01:43,489 --> 01:01:46,185 I'll pay him the money. What do you think? 948 01:01:46,258 --> 01:01:48,249 - Why? - Why? 949 01:01:48,327 --> 01:01:51,819 Take a look around you. I worked hard to get where I am, 950 01:01:51,897 --> 01:01:53,489 and I won't let some puissant take it away. 951 01:01:53,566 --> 01:01:57,434 - $50,000 is a lot of money. - It's a gamble. 952 01:01:57,503 --> 01:01:59,767 I just hope this is it after this. 953 01:01:59,839 --> 01:02:03,138 Then we can threaten him with extortion after paying him. 954 01:02:03,209 --> 01:02:06,838 That's insane! Why should we give him anything after what he did?! 955 01:02:06,912 --> 01:02:09,437 - "We" aren't giving him anything. - Fine. 956 01:02:09,515 --> 01:02:12,450 Then what you should do is use the money 957 01:02:12,518 --> 01:02:14,679 to hire somebody to storm into his shitty house, 958 01:02:14,753 --> 01:02:18,018 beat his ass, get the video and then we'd be done with him. 959 01:02:18,090 --> 01:02:20,854 He's a crazy old fuck. How much of a threat can he be? 960 01:02:20,926 --> 01:02:21,893 Are these yours? 961 01:02:24,830 --> 01:02:28,322 You should never have cut school today, young man. 962 01:02:28,400 --> 01:02:32,530 See what happens when you're truant? 963 01:02:37,977 --> 01:02:40,912 Dad, he don't look so good. 964 01:02:40,980 --> 01:02:43,210 And you do? 965 01:02:43,282 --> 01:02:45,978 - Right now, let's go! - Dad! 966 01:02:46,051 --> 01:02:47,951 He smells like shit again. 967 01:02:48,020 --> 01:02:50,318 - I do not! - Stop. 968 01:02:50,389 --> 01:02:54,223 Gino, do you plan on fucking it sometime today? 969 01:02:55,828 --> 01:02:57,887 Well, I was thinking, 970 01:02:57,963 --> 01:03:01,660 since he doesn't look so great... 971 01:03:02,968 --> 01:03:06,631 - what if I just finger-fuck it? - Oh God. 972 01:03:06,705 --> 01:03:10,505 Dad, Gino's scared of the little man's tiny hole. 973 01:03:12,912 --> 01:03:14,641 I wish you would, fecal freak! 974 01:03:14,713 --> 01:03:16,738 Did you ever see that movie? 975 01:03:16,815 --> 01:03:19,215 This little guy around his age... 976 01:03:19,285 --> 01:03:21,344 he's walking to school and gets kidnapped. 977 01:03:21,420 --> 01:03:23,012 Next thing you know, 978 01:03:23,088 --> 01:03:25,818 some psychic sticks her nose where it doesn't belong. 979 01:03:25,891 --> 01:03:27,756 In the end, the kid gets saved, 980 01:03:27,826 --> 01:03:30,260 lives to see the light of another day. 981 01:03:30,329 --> 01:03:32,160 Damned her clairvoyant ass anyway. 982 01:03:32,231 --> 01:03:34,222 No fortuneteller will come busting through that door 983 01:03:34,300 --> 01:03:36,427 to save your sweet little hide. 984 01:03:36,502 --> 01:03:38,436 I'll tell you what will happen. 985 01:03:38,504 --> 01:03:40,768 You will take my man-size cock 986 01:03:40,839 --> 01:03:42,704 between your pretty little lips. 987 01:03:42,775 --> 01:03:44,675 Then, it's time to give up the ghost. 988 01:03:44,743 --> 01:03:47,109 I'm not sure you know what that means. 989 01:03:47,179 --> 01:03:49,579 It's pain. It's darkness... 990 01:03:49,648 --> 01:03:50,945 forever. 991 01:03:51,016 --> 01:03:52,984 You're gonna die, you dainty little fuck! 992 01:04:01,060 --> 01:04:04,359 This is how I kiss. 993 01:04:09,301 --> 01:04:12,634 And I'm gonna kiss you all over. 994 01:04:15,841 --> 01:04:18,401 If there was a way to be certain... 995 01:04:19,645 --> 01:04:22,842 You should have done something at the time. 996 01:04:22,915 --> 01:04:24,849 It's fucking ironic is what it is. 997 01:04:24,917 --> 01:04:27,750 A year ago, we could have nailed his ass to the wall. 998 01:04:29,188 --> 01:04:32,521 It's a little too late for "should haves" and "could haves. " 999 01:04:33,826 --> 01:04:37,387 What I have to worry about now is how to get the money to him 1000 01:04:37,463 --> 01:04:39,795 without any traces back to me. 1001 01:04:41,033 --> 01:04:43,593 This is unreal. 1002 01:04:43,669 --> 01:04:45,796 He's going to get away with it. 1003 01:04:57,616 --> 01:04:59,743 Clean it up. 1004 01:05:04,556 --> 01:05:08,048 - He means you too, genius. - Go on and clean. 1005 01:05:08,127 --> 01:05:09,389 Quit it, Frankie. 1006 01:05:24,543 --> 01:05:25,908 Hello? 1007 01:05:25,978 --> 01:05:29,436 I know you have it. You would never let me down. 1008 01:05:29,515 --> 01:05:32,109 - No. - Your mama didn't raise no fool. 1009 01:05:32,184 --> 01:05:34,414 Cut the shit! This ain't no tea party! 1010 01:05:34,486 --> 01:05:37,284 Feisty. Don't get wise with me, Mr. Fuckface! 1011 01:05:37,356 --> 01:05:40,814 You're fucking with the bull. You know where I'll stick those horns. 1012 01:05:40,893 --> 01:05:45,853 Here's the news. You'll be looking for a '64 Skylark. 1013 01:05:45,931 --> 01:05:47,865 Damn, that was a good year. 1014 01:05:47,933 --> 01:05:50,902 My Frankie had his first piece of dick in a car like that. 1015 01:05:50,969 --> 01:05:54,097 Anyway, pull up the back-seat and put the case in. 1016 01:05:54,173 --> 01:05:56,835 After that, tell that old bastard Barron 1017 01:05:56,909 --> 01:06:00,572 that's not quite what you wanted. Can he suggest something else? 1018 01:06:00,646 --> 01:06:04,377 When he does, that's where you'll find your end of the deal. 1019 01:06:04,450 --> 01:06:08,147 That yard has ears, boy. So don't try pulling any slick shit. 1020 01:06:08,220 --> 01:06:09,949 Money, then the tape. 1021 01:06:10,022 --> 01:06:13,082 Anything else would be a tragic fucking mistake. 1022 01:06:13,158 --> 01:06:14,785 Capice? 1023 01:06:15,894 --> 01:06:18,055 "Do not enter. " That's what you read. 1024 01:06:18,130 --> 01:06:19,461 Back it up. 1025 01:06:30,309 --> 01:06:33,301 Skylark? I've got one. A '64. 1026 01:06:33,378 --> 01:06:36,870 I got to shoot straight shit with you. She's an ugly old whore. 1027 01:06:36,949 --> 01:06:39,281 - Ain't much to look at it. - That's fine. 1028 01:06:45,591 --> 01:06:48,424 Joe-Joe, run to the pharmacy and get me some eye douche. 1029 01:06:48,494 --> 01:06:51,258 - You do it! - Chop! Chop! 1030 01:06:51,330 --> 01:06:53,730 Got to keep these monkeys dancing. 1031 01:06:54,800 --> 01:06:56,461 What's with the case? Are you a stockbroker? 1032 01:06:56,535 --> 01:06:57,627 No. 1033 01:06:57,703 --> 01:07:01,605 Holy shit! You're not in the syndicate, are you? 1034 01:07:01,673 --> 01:07:03,903 One of those La Costra Nostra? 1035 01:07:03,976 --> 01:07:05,841 You got a machine gun in there? 1036 01:07:07,980 --> 01:07:09,845 No, I sell pools. 1037 01:07:09,915 --> 01:07:12,145 - Where's the car? - You might as well be in the mob. 1038 01:07:12,217 --> 01:07:14,344 The prices you charge ain't nothing but a shakedown anyway. 1039 01:07:14,419 --> 01:07:16,444 I sell them, I don't own the company. 1040 01:07:16,522 --> 01:07:18,353 I heard that before. 1041 01:07:19,791 --> 01:07:21,053 Well... 1042 01:07:22,494 --> 01:07:24,621 here she is. What do you think? 1043 01:07:27,232 --> 01:07:28,824 Last one in the yard. 1044 01:07:28,901 --> 01:07:30,368 At least in this yard. 1045 01:07:30,435 --> 01:07:33,768 Yo, Pops, you got a problem with one of Tony's aftermarkets. 1046 01:07:33,839 --> 01:07:36,603 Tell him to hold his water. I'm with a customer. 1047 01:07:36,675 --> 01:07:39,542 He said, " Go to hell and get your wrinkled ass on the phone. " 1048 01:07:40,812 --> 01:07:43,679 Kick the tires. Look it over, do something. 1049 01:07:43,749 --> 01:07:45,808 I'll be right back. 1050 01:08:07,039 --> 01:08:09,303 So what do you think? Want me to gift-wrap her? 1051 01:08:09,374 --> 01:08:12,172 I was hoping you could suggest something else. 1052 01:08:12,244 --> 01:08:14,940 Listen, Mr. Pool, I have hundreds of cars. 1053 01:08:15,013 --> 01:08:16,947 You have to tell me what you're looking for. 1054 01:08:17,015 --> 01:08:19,506 I'm not the Kreskin of the junkyard. 1055 01:08:19,585 --> 01:08:21,553 You are Mr. Barron, right? 1056 01:08:21,620 --> 01:08:23,645 I sure as shit ain't jolly Saint Nick. 1057 01:08:27,292 --> 01:08:28,691 Shit. 1058 01:08:28,760 --> 01:08:30,591 I'd hate to be that guy. 1059 01:08:48,814 --> 01:08:51,009 Shit! 1060 01:08:51,083 --> 01:08:52,311 Fuck! 1061 01:08:52,384 --> 01:08:54,011 Damn! 1062 01:08:58,056 --> 01:09:00,547 What I'm saying is he fucking ripped me off! 1063 01:09:00,626 --> 01:09:02,685 There still could be a tape. 1064 01:09:02,761 --> 01:09:04,626 Why wouldn't he at least give you a copy, 1065 01:09:04,696 --> 01:09:06,823 just to let you know he has one? 1066 01:09:06,898 --> 01:09:09,196 I think he's full of shit. It doesn't make sense. 1067 01:09:09,268 --> 01:09:12,203 The fact that you think this guy deals with anything on a rational level 1068 01:09:12,271 --> 01:09:15,263 speaks volumes of how stupid you can be! 1069 01:09:17,709 --> 01:09:20,234 I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. 1070 01:09:21,513 --> 01:09:24,175 I know you're not used to me being the voice of reason, 1071 01:09:24,249 --> 01:09:26,240 but you have to do something. 1072 01:09:26,318 --> 01:09:29,048 You gave him a chance, you didn't get the tape. 1073 01:09:29,121 --> 01:09:30,952 You don't want to hear this, 1074 01:09:31,023 --> 01:09:34,288 - but you should go to the cops. - Let's get something straight. 1075 01:09:34,359 --> 01:09:36,384 Calling the cops is not an option. 1076 01:09:36,461 --> 01:09:38,691 Not until I decide it is. 1077 01:09:38,764 --> 01:09:41,961 He won't go away by himself. You haven't given him a reason. 1078 01:09:43,402 --> 01:09:45,029 I know. 1079 01:09:46,672 --> 01:09:48,663 I'll be right back. 1080 01:09:56,315 --> 01:09:58,510 - Hey! - Shitting with the common man? 1081 01:09:58,583 --> 01:10:00,813 I thought they built a throne for your golden asshole? 1082 01:10:00,886 --> 01:10:03,286 - What do you want? - An autograph! 1083 01:10:03,355 --> 01:10:06,119 We got your money. We spent some already. 1084 01:10:06,191 --> 01:10:10,525 We were talking over dinner on how you were a sweet boy, 1085 01:10:10,595 --> 01:10:12,859 so beautiful before the consummation. 1086 01:10:12,931 --> 01:10:16,128 We want an encore performance, 1087 01:10:16,201 --> 01:10:18,829 - where you get fucked hard. - Fuck this shit! 1088 01:10:18,904 --> 01:10:22,203 Easy. I wouldn't recommend declining the invite. 1089 01:10:22,274 --> 01:10:25,209 If I show that tape, you go back to being a party whore. 1090 01:10:25,277 --> 01:10:28,212 You don't show up, you get fucked in more ways than one. 1091 01:10:28,280 --> 01:10:30,908 I want to taste you again. 1092 01:10:30,982 --> 01:10:33,473 - Get your hands off me! - Oooh... 1093 01:10:33,552 --> 01:10:36,953 that's how I like it. I'll be in touch, Vulgar... 1094 01:10:38,123 --> 01:10:42,856 to let you know about the party. Make sure your tits hang out. 1095 01:10:42,928 --> 01:10:44,589 If you don't follow my rules, 1096 01:10:44,663 --> 01:10:47,962 people might see things that could get a corn-holler like yourself 1097 01:10:48,033 --> 01:10:50,558 into some pretty hot water. 1098 01:10:50,635 --> 01:10:52,899 I'm going to fuck you again! 1099 01:11:13,592 --> 01:11:16,026 Shit! What happened? 1100 01:11:16,094 --> 01:11:17,721 What happened? 1101 01:11:17,796 --> 01:11:19,263 He was waiting for me in the bathroom. 1102 01:11:19,331 --> 01:11:20,491 Shit! 1103 01:11:20,565 --> 01:11:23,329 - Did you call security? - They're gone. 1104 01:11:23,402 --> 01:11:24,767 Fuck. 1105 01:11:24,836 --> 01:11:26,497 What did he say? 1106 01:11:26,571 --> 01:11:28,038 He said... 1107 01:11:30,308 --> 01:11:33,004 he said he wants us to kill him. 1108 01:11:40,152 --> 01:11:42,120 Hey, man! 1109 01:11:42,187 --> 01:11:45,281 - Have you seen my shirt? - You're wearing a shirt. 1110 01:11:45,357 --> 01:11:47,086 Get back inside. 1111 01:11:48,160 --> 01:11:51,687 Good to see you. Haven't been down at the car wash in a while. 1112 01:11:51,763 --> 01:11:53,287 You know that tall jigger Lamont, 1113 01:11:53,365 --> 01:11:55,196 started working there about a month ago? 1114 01:11:55,267 --> 01:11:57,565 No. Can we go inside? 1115 01:11:57,636 --> 01:12:00,833 He's this big jerk-off claims I owe him 20 bucks. 1116 01:12:00,906 --> 01:12:02,464 "Fuck that shit," I said. 1117 01:12:02,541 --> 01:12:05,009 That's when... bam!... he hits me in the mouth! 1118 01:12:05,076 --> 01:12:07,271 Like I said, he's pretty tall, 1119 01:12:07,345 --> 01:12:11,179 so I'm going to stay away till he cools down. 1120 01:12:11,249 --> 01:12:12,807 Sounds like a good idea. 1121 01:12:12,884 --> 01:12:14,681 Yeah, Lamont, he's... 1122 01:12:14,753 --> 01:12:19,053 as tall as Jay James, but he's got the muscles of James, Sr. 1123 01:12:19,124 --> 01:12:21,888 He walks around like he owns the place, 1124 01:12:21,960 --> 01:12:25,225 slapping people in the mouth, taking people's jumpsuits. 1125 01:12:25,297 --> 01:12:28,266 I fucking hate it when that fuck's there. 1126 01:12:28,333 --> 01:12:30,563 Anybody around? 1127 01:12:37,809 --> 01:12:39,777 Don't mind the mess. 1128 01:12:39,845 --> 01:12:41,540 Hey, boy. 1129 01:12:42,814 --> 01:12:44,475 This is Larry. 1130 01:12:44,549 --> 01:12:46,642 I'm thinking of changing it to something else. 1131 01:12:46,718 --> 01:12:49,152 That name reminds me too much of Lamont. 1132 01:12:49,221 --> 01:12:52,213 - If only you were Lamont. - Tuott. 1133 01:12:52,290 --> 01:12:53,621 Sorry. 1134 01:12:53,692 --> 01:12:55,717 Can you give me a hand over here? 1135 01:12:59,531 --> 01:13:01,556 Can you believe I found this? 1136 01:13:01,633 --> 01:13:05,125 Right near the garbage just waiting for pick-up day. 1137 01:13:06,471 --> 01:13:09,963 Between you and me, I found it in some guy's garage. 1138 01:13:10,041 --> 01:13:12,066 I'm sure he would have thrown them out. 1139 01:13:12,143 --> 01:13:14,043 What an idiot. 1140 01:13:14,112 --> 01:13:17,104 These two don't have any bullets. 1141 01:13:17,182 --> 01:13:18,843 That's a BB gun. 1142 01:13:18,917 --> 01:13:19,884 Oh. 1143 01:13:19,951 --> 01:13:23,352 These two do have bullets. 1144 01:13:23,421 --> 01:13:26,151 And they come with these things that go on the end. 1145 01:13:26,224 --> 01:13:28,215 - Silencers? - Yeah. 1146 01:13:28,293 --> 01:13:30,386 They make the gunshots... 1147 01:13:30,462 --> 01:13:32,760 My friend told me that. 1148 01:13:32,831 --> 01:13:36,631 He said it's good because they don't have serial numbers. 1149 01:13:36,701 --> 01:13:38,760 You need any skag? 1150 01:13:38,837 --> 01:13:40,361 No, I'm good. 1151 01:13:46,211 --> 01:13:48,441 Do you feel like you're going to throw up? 1152 01:13:48,513 --> 01:13:50,811 I do. 1153 01:13:50,882 --> 01:13:53,373 Where did you get this car? Whose is it? 1154 01:13:53,451 --> 01:13:56,648 Would you calm down? You're making me nervous. 1155 01:13:56,721 --> 01:13:59,815 I bought it for cash. It's untraceable. 1156 01:13:59,891 --> 01:14:02,985 One of Tuott's associates helped me a little. 1157 01:14:03,061 --> 01:14:05,325 I can't believe so much of our faith 1158 01:14:05,397 --> 01:14:07,661 is placed in an arch-junkie. 1159 01:14:07,732 --> 01:14:10,326 We wouldn't have gotten this far if it weren't for him. 1160 01:14:10,402 --> 01:14:12,427 Thank God for Tuott. 1161 01:14:13,672 --> 01:14:16,505 I want to be certain of one thing. 1162 01:14:16,575 --> 01:14:18,372 Are you still 100% on this? 1163 01:14:18,443 --> 01:14:21,276 Yes. I told you that already. 1164 01:14:21,346 --> 01:14:23,906 I'm not going in there to have you pussy on me. 1165 01:14:23,982 --> 01:14:27,145 - We have to be in and out. - I know. 1166 01:14:27,218 --> 01:14:30,381 The longer we stay, the better chance we have of getting caught. 1167 01:14:30,455 --> 01:14:32,616 And if we get caught, we go to jail. 1168 01:14:32,691 --> 01:14:34,682 And what they did to you will seem like 1169 01:14:34,759 --> 01:14:37,057 a church social compared to what goes on in prison. 1170 01:14:37,128 --> 01:14:39,153 You've never even gotten a speeding ticket. 1171 01:14:39,230 --> 01:14:40,663 How would you know? 1172 01:14:40,732 --> 01:14:43,701 Did you ever see "Caged Heat"? It is the same thing, 1173 01:14:43,768 --> 01:14:46,635 except totally different, because you're with guys. 1174 01:14:49,341 --> 01:14:52,105 - Got some coffee change? - Sure don't. 1175 01:14:52,177 --> 01:14:55,374 Come on, just a quarter. It won't break your bank. 1176 01:14:55,447 --> 01:14:57,745 Fuck you, tightfist! 1177 01:15:00,785 --> 01:15:02,980 My legs feel like rubber. 1178 01:15:03,054 --> 01:15:05,454 Maybe they thought we called the cops. 1179 01:15:05,523 --> 01:15:08,287 - I doubt they're even in there. - They're in there. 1180 01:15:08,360 --> 01:15:11,488 - I'm scared. - So am I. 1181 01:15:11,563 --> 01:15:15,431 All right. Just walk in, do what you have to do... 1182 01:15:15,500 --> 01:15:18,333 in and out. Can't be any more dramatic than that. 1183 01:15:18,403 --> 01:15:21,998 - I'll be right behind you. - I sure hope so. 1184 01:15:38,356 --> 01:15:40,051 Hold on. 1185 01:15:40,125 --> 01:15:41,922 Is it him, Dad? 1186 01:15:41,993 --> 01:15:44,359 - Please God, let it be him. - Hold on. 1187 01:15:48,466 --> 01:15:52,027 Gentlemen, the hole has arrived. 1188 01:15:54,372 --> 01:15:56,772 Calm down! 1189 01:15:56,841 --> 01:15:58,536 Don't go blowing your loads yet. 1190 01:16:01,112 --> 01:16:03,580 Boom-boom, in and out. 1191 01:16:10,655 --> 01:16:13,283 - Are you alone? - What do you think? 1192 01:16:15,960 --> 01:16:18,258 Get your candy ass in here, then! 1193 01:16:26,371 --> 01:16:28,931 You must think your shit smells like a spring rain. 1194 01:16:29,007 --> 01:16:31,066 Walk right by me like I wasn't a person. 1195 01:16:31,142 --> 01:16:34,077 Next time I ask you a question, answer me. 1196 01:16:34,145 --> 01:16:36,045 - Got it? - Yeah. 1197 01:16:40,385 --> 01:16:42,979 It's mine now, motherfucker! 1198 01:16:47,459 --> 01:16:50,917 What do we have here? 1199 01:16:50,995 --> 01:16:54,226 Look at you and all your finery. 1200 01:16:54,299 --> 01:16:56,995 Isn't he easy on the eyes? 1201 01:16:57,068 --> 01:17:00,265 Not really, Pop. 1202 01:17:03,975 --> 01:17:06,068 Give me a hand, buttercup. 1203 01:17:06,144 --> 01:17:08,704 Let me lead you on a trip down on memory lane. 1204 01:17:08,780 --> 01:17:10,907 Do him like you did last time, Dad. 1205 01:17:10,982 --> 01:17:13,450 Gino, last time, Daddy had him... 1206 01:17:13,518 --> 01:17:18,080 - I know, because I was there. - No, you weren't, liar! 1207 01:17:18,156 --> 01:17:20,818 You're such an idiot! You know what I'm going to do? 1208 01:17:20,892 --> 01:17:23,224 I'll take you to court for slander. 1209 01:17:23,294 --> 01:17:27,492 - You're a law-breaking freak. - What are you talking about? 1210 01:17:31,236 --> 01:17:33,329 Shut up! You're scaring him! 1211 01:17:40,612 --> 01:17:43,206 Show us what you got hiding under there. 1212 01:17:54,192 --> 01:17:57,684 - Gino, are you getting this? - Yes. I'm not stupid. 1213 01:17:58,763 --> 01:18:00,731 A little more. 1214 01:18:10,241 --> 01:18:12,072 Shut that goddamn thing off! 1215 01:18:13,778 --> 01:18:16,872 I think somebody was fuzzy with the instructions. 1216 01:18:16,948 --> 01:18:18,939 What were you thinking when you got dressed? 1217 01:18:19,017 --> 01:18:21,042 You're here for me tonight. 1218 01:18:21,119 --> 01:18:24,919 Did that slip by you? Are you brain damaged? 1219 01:18:27,192 --> 01:18:30,218 Turn it on. Don't miss one second of this. 1220 01:18:30,295 --> 01:18:32,490 High and hard until we beat the shit out of him. 1221 01:18:32,564 --> 01:18:35,328 High and hard. No other way with a fuck like this. 1222 01:18:35,400 --> 01:18:36,662 You treat him... 1223 01:18:37,635 --> 01:18:39,364 Don't shoot. 1224 01:18:39,437 --> 01:18:41,462 We're sorry. 1225 01:18:41,539 --> 01:18:43,029 Oh God. 1226 01:18:44,876 --> 01:18:46,434 Is that the game we're playing? 1227 01:18:46,511 --> 01:18:49,036 You try to kill my boys, my flesh and blood? 1228 01:18:49,113 --> 01:18:52,241 As it stands, you've got the hardest night of your life ahead of you. 1229 01:18:52,317 --> 01:18:54,683 I hope you watched the sun rise this morning, 1230 01:18:54,752 --> 01:18:57,186 - 'cause it was your last chance. - Suck it! 1231 01:18:57,255 --> 01:18:58,347 Want me to shoot him? 1232 01:18:58,423 --> 01:19:00,220 Let me fucking shoot him, Daddy! 1233 01:19:00,291 --> 01:19:03,260 How does it feel? You know what's coming? 1234 01:19:04,429 --> 01:19:07,592 Don't fool with that thing. Dad, tell him to put it down. 1235 01:19:07,665 --> 01:19:09,633 Shut up, chicken-shit! 1236 01:19:09,701 --> 01:19:12,363 Cut it out! Dad, he's gonna hurt somebody. 1237 01:19:12,437 --> 01:19:15,270 Frankie, listen to your brother and put the gun away! 1238 01:19:19,544 --> 01:19:21,205 Frankie? 1239 01:19:22,280 --> 01:19:23,338 Frankie? 1240 01:19:23,414 --> 01:19:25,245 Frankie! You'll be all right. 1241 01:19:25,316 --> 01:19:26,908 Just a couple of stitches you'll need. 1242 01:19:27,986 --> 01:19:29,886 Frankie. 1243 01:19:29,954 --> 01:19:31,888 Listen to your dad! 1244 01:19:31,956 --> 01:19:34,424 Why did you do that to my brother? 1245 01:19:35,894 --> 01:19:39,125 My brother! You fucking, fuckhead! 1246 01:19:39,197 --> 01:19:40,425 You fucking pervert! 1247 01:19:45,703 --> 01:19:47,796 I got your man. I want some money! 1248 01:19:55,580 --> 01:19:58,140 Syd, get up! 1249 01:19:58,216 --> 01:19:59,911 I fucked up. We're going to get caught. 1250 01:19:59,984 --> 01:20:02,544 - What were we thinking? - Stop it. You didn't fuck up. 1251 01:20:02,620 --> 01:20:06,215 - Yes, I did! - You didn't! We won't get caught! 1252 01:20:11,362 --> 01:20:14,923 Get into the car and out of here, all right? 1253 01:20:14,999 --> 01:20:17,194 - Get out of here! - What about you? 1254 01:20:17,268 --> 01:20:20,362 I'll meet you back at the house. Go! 1255 01:21:09,988 --> 01:21:11,546 All right. You caught me. 1256 01:21:11,622 --> 01:21:13,453 Now what are you gonna do? Shoot me? 1257 01:21:13,524 --> 01:21:16,493 Go ahead, you piece of shit. Do it. 1258 01:21:16,561 --> 01:21:19,724 It doesn't matter anyway. You're finished, fuck-face! 1259 01:21:19,797 --> 01:21:21,731 Finished! You're a murderer now. 1260 01:21:21,799 --> 01:21:25,257 You killed my boys. You're going to prison. I have proof. 1261 01:21:26,337 --> 01:21:28,601 You don't have it in you anyway. 1262 01:21:30,608 --> 01:21:33,202 You're shaking. Even in this light I can see it. 1263 01:21:33,277 --> 01:21:36,144 You're scared. Just lie down and take it. 1264 01:21:36,214 --> 01:21:38,341 I know you haven't got the guts. 1265 01:21:38,416 --> 01:21:39,781 So do you. 1266 01:21:45,456 --> 01:21:47,219 Not like this. 1267 01:21:47,291 --> 01:21:49,851 By this fuck. 1268 01:21:53,831 --> 01:21:56,425 Goddamn you, fuck-face! 1269 01:22:48,953 --> 01:22:51,080 Fuck you! 1270 01:23:24,255 --> 01:23:26,723 Flappy! Flappy! 1271 01:23:31,395 --> 01:23:33,590 Get down! 1272 01:23:50,214 --> 01:23:54,207 Well, once again, injustice KO'd by Flappy, 1273 01:23:54,285 --> 01:23:58,949 of Flappy Funhouse fame and our Special Girl Friday, Bella. 1274 01:23:59,023 --> 01:24:02,151 Let's have a big round of applause! 1275 01:24:02,226 --> 01:24:05,252 And let's have a bigger round of good-natured boos 1276 01:24:05,329 --> 01:24:07,490 for our purveyors of quite a bit of nastiness 1277 01:24:07,565 --> 01:24:09,192 around Flappy's Funhouse. 1278 01:24:09,267 --> 01:24:11,633 Our criminal clown brigade! 1279 01:24:16,474 --> 01:24:18,772 Thanks, Bella. 1280 01:24:20,711 --> 01:24:24,010 Now, that's all the time we have for today, kids. 1281 01:24:26,484 --> 01:24:29,214 Don't be like these guys. Stay in school, 1282 01:24:29,287 --> 01:24:32,654 and take care of yourselves. 'Cause you know what? 1283 01:24:32,723 --> 01:24:36,124 You're the only you you've got. 1284 01:24:36,194 --> 01:24:38,685 And I'm not clowning around. 1285 01:24:44,535 --> 01:24:47,561 ♪ Kids, don't feel down, 'cause guess who's in town? ♪ 1286 01:24:47,638 --> 01:24:50,539 ♪ You know who's around? Flappy the clown ♪ 1287 01:24:50,608 --> 01:24:53,441 ♪ If you feel blue, he'll smile for you ♪ 1288 01:24:53,511 --> 01:24:56,446 ♪ He knows what to do, flappin' at you ♪ 1289 01:24:56,514 --> 01:24:59,415 ♪ When you're not sure if you'll see the light of day ♪ 1290 01:24:59,483 --> 01:25:03,385 ♪ He'll make you smile and play with you, he does it every day ♪ 1291 01:25:03,454 --> 01:25:06,719 ♪ Hey! Kids, don't feel down, 'cause guess who's in town? ♪ 1292 01:25:06,791 --> 01:25:10,283 ♪ You know who's around? Flappy the clown ♪ 1293 01:25:34,952 --> 01:25:37,853 ♪ Kids, don't feel down, 'cause guess who's in town? ♪ 1294 01:25:37,922 --> 01:25:40,982 ♪ You know who's around? Flappy the clown ♪ 1295 01:25:41,058 --> 01:25:43,856 ♪ If you feel blue he'll smile for you ♪ 1296 01:25:43,928 --> 01:25:46,829 ♪ He knows what to do, flappin' at you ♪ 1297 01:25:46,897 --> 01:25:49,991 ♪ When you're not sure if you'll see the light of day ♪ 1298 01:25:50,067 --> 01:25:53,434 ♪ He'll make you smile and play with you, he does it every day ♪ 1299 01:25:55,306 --> 01:25:56,933 ♪ Hey! ♪ 1300 01:26:03,347 --> 01:26:06,248 ♪ Kids, don't feel down, guess who's in town? ♪ 1301 01:26:06,317 --> 01:26:09,650 ♪ You know who's around? Flappy the clown ♪ 1302 01:26:09,720 --> 01:26:12,052 ♪ If you feel blue, he'll smile for you ♪ 1303 01:26:12,123 --> 01:26:15,320 ♪ He knows what to do, flappin' at you ♪ 1304 01:26:15,393 --> 01:26:18,362 ♪ So when you're not sure if you'll see the light of day ♪ 1305 01:26:18,429 --> 01:26:23,560 ♪ He'll make you smile and play with you, he does it every day ♪ 1306 01:26:23,634 --> 01:26:27,126 ♪ Hey! Kids, don't feel down, 'cause guess who's in town? ♪ 1307 01:26:27,204 --> 01:26:30,435 ♪ You know who's around? Flappy the clown ♪ 1308 01:26:41,352 --> 01:26:44,651 ♪ Hey! Kids don't feel down, 'cause guess who's in town? ♪ 1309 01:26:44,722 --> 01:26:48,522 ♪ You know who's around? Flappy the clown. ♪ 100898