Original subtitles

Fixed & Synced by bozxphd. Enjoy The Flick.

Mary.

Mary.

Yes ma'am.

Mary, I think my baby's coming.

- Call sir immediately. - Yes, ma'am.

Take it easy, Ankita.

You've been eagerly waiting for the day to arrive.

When you would be a mother.

Just come down here quickly, please.

- Yes, Ankita, I've boarded. - Mary, do something.

Mam please you don't panic.

Take deep breaths.

Please ma'am.

Sir, can you please check-off your phone.

- Sir. - Yeah...

We're running late because of you.

Just take your seat and fasten your seat belt.

Sorry.

- Here you are. Thank you. - I am sorry.

- Good morning. - Good morning.

- First child? - Yes...

It's normal.

Poor thing has no one else to vent her frustration somewhere.

- Charles. - Rajeev... Rajeev Malhotra.

I'll pray to God for your child.

Thank you.

And anyway, we are going to fly quite high.

- God will hear us sooner. Yeah... - Yeah.

Relax.

Hello, Rajeev. Where are you?

Ankita, I've reached Mumbai Airport.

One of the passengers has gone to the washroom.

And, I'm looking after his luggage.

Rajeev, I am entering the operation theater...

and you are looking after some stupid passengers...

Please Ankita, don't say that.

He wishes our child well. He's a very kind-hearted man.

Ankita, I am on my way. Yes... you... yeah

- Sorry, Mr. Malhotra. - He's back. I am leaving.

- Sorry. - No, no, it's alright.

- Come. - Please come.

So, you have a business in London, Mr. Malhotra?

Yes.

Excuse me?

- Yes, officer? - You can go.

Thank you. See you Charles.

Welcome, Mr. Charles. Let's go.

Even after we had such a strong lead...

- we didn't find anything. - Excuse me, officer. My watch.

Can I take it?

My time seems to be great.

Now, with your permission, can I wear my clothes...

or, do you have anything else in mind?

Congratulations, Ankita!

Congratulations.

Wow... I was elated thinking there's just one. But, you've given me twins.

Time for double celebrations.

Congratulations to you too.

Yes?

Doctor why is there a bandage on their arms?

Mr. Malhotra, your children were conjoined.

We had to operate.

One child is healthy, but the other one is a little weak.

And yes, the most important thing...

Even after being separated, whenever they are close to each other...

their reflexes will also connect with each other.

How?

Like...

If one child cries, the other one will cry too.

If one feels pain, the other one will feel pain too.

I'll show you...

Look at this.

You mean, when one laughs, the other one will laugh too.

Yes.

When one jumps, the other one will jump too.

Mr. Malhotra, such cases are only one in eight million.

- Wow! - Yes.

- Did you hear that Ankita? - One in eight million.

Of course. Our children are one in a million...

I mean, two

Sir, someone is here to see you.

Many, many, many, congratulations, Mr. Malhotra.

I couldn't control myself.

See... I even bought gifts for the new born.

You shouldn't have taken the trouble.

And, what's this? Seems like you ran all the way here.

Here, drink some water.

I already know exactly why you've come here, Charles.

Actually, water doesn't have any color.

But this water exposed your true colors.

What now?

Same old outdated confrontational drama!

The usual, blah-blah-blah.

Let's straight come to the point, Mr. Malhotra.

You don't sc*** me, I will not sc*** you.

I've got a gift for you.

Officers!

Take a look.

Clever. Very-very clever...

No-no-no... down.

Gun down.

Officer, this one's real.

- Go back and I'll run. - No!

Catch him!

- Who are you? - Quiet.

Charles.

Charles, let my son go.

Go back... go back, Malhotra.

Or else only one out of these twins will remain.

Eh, officer...

You don't listen.

I said this one's real.

Should I shoot?

Charles.

Charles, for God's sake, let my child go.

Go back.

- Please, Charles. - Go back.

- Charles... - You go back and I'll Jump.

Charles!

Charles, we know you're inside.

The Police has you surrounded.

Surrender yourself Charles.

- Malhotra, calm down. - Leave me.

Listen to me...

Charles, where's my son?

Where is my son?

No...

- Charles. - Malhotra.

My son.

No Malhotra - Leave me.

Bye-bye Malhotra.

My Son!

My son...

What is that child doing in your hand?

Come on. Huh!

- Whose child is that? - Where did you find him?

I found this child on an auspicious day.

If l can't find his family, I shall raise him.

Great. Okay.

He stopped crying when Kashi took him in her arms.

- Sister, what are you going to call him? - Name.

- His name is going to be Raja. - Raja.

Charles has been sentenced to 22 years.

Very good.

Malhotra, I'll get straight to the point.

You screwed with me, I'll screw you.

See you soon.

Law is sending him behind bars...

but his brother-in-law is still outside. I will finish what he started.

Malhotra, Charles has a strong network.

You should go out of this country for some time.

And anyway, your business is in London.

But, I...

If not for yourself, do it for your family and kid.

All the best

Eh...

Eh, let's go from 9-12.

Raja. Raja.

- Raja, save me. - Save you?

- Yes... - I won't save you.

Raja...

Idiot, if I don't save you, who else will save Nandu.

Wait...

Now, hit me.

Hit him. Hit him, Raja.

Eh Raja...

Excuse me?

Excuse me.

Why is he hanging upside down?

And, why is crying while singing?

- Who are you? - Prem... Prem Malhotra.

- Fresher? - Yeah...

- Hi. - Hi.

- Into music and all, huh? - Yeah, music student.

Wow, dude. What a nice guitar!

Excuse me, that's expensive.

- Nice jacket. - I am...

Body, huh.

Stop harassing him! Move!

- You OK? - Yeah.

Sorry, they don't know how to behave with fresher's.

I'll show you.

My guitar.

Guys, give it out for Prem Malhotra.

The musical star.

Now he's going to give a top less Performance.

Come on, do that. Play. I don't know how to play.

Play... play... play... Come...

Play.

Play.

- Play... - Come on.

Play... play...

- Please. - Play.

Thank you.

' Bye bye. ' Bye bye.

Yeah, mom.

- How are you, son? - Fine, morn.

- So, how was your first day? - It was great.

In fact, I even made some friends.

They are all nice.

- Listen, I... - Mom, I've to go.

They are calling me. I'll call you later.

Listen... Do call back.

Yeah... I... I'll call you back.

Did you talk to Prem? All OK?

He tried really hard, Rajeev... to not let me know

But, I am his mother. He was lying to me.

Ankita...

Remember what the doctor said when we had twins.

As weak as one of them is, The other will be as stronger.

Lord... If only my other son had been alive...

he would've never let his brother cry like this.

Hail lord Ganesha!

Hail the sacred statue!

Raja.

Raja... that bloody rascal grabbed my neck...

- and chucked me aside. - Yeah, I know-I know.

(CHANTING) for Pandit

Eh, Puss in Boots!

The shoes you're looking for...

...are on Nandu's left and right feet.

These are great shoes.

Eh... who are you?

- Raja. - He says Raja.

The guy you pushed is my brother.

And, his reputation is my reputation.

And, Raja's reputation... isn't some beauty soap...

...which you can use and throw.

Get my shoes.

Get him.

Bless you Raja.

- What a punch? - These Jeans are tight.

Great, Raja.

- You beat them all up. - I did...

Do I have to keep kicking your sidekicks all day?

Won't you come?

Aren't you going to fight?

Come fight with Raja, come on.

Raja?

Raja! Raja!

- Listen. - Yeah.

Raja, you know what... let's return his shoes and get out.

We will... But after immersing this Alex.

- Come on, Raja. - Come on.

- All hail... - Lord Ganesha!

All hail Lord Ganesha!

Come on, Raja.

- Come on. - Beat him.

Get up.

- If you beat Raja I won't spare you. - Nandu.

Come on, Raja. Beat that rascal.

Beat that rascal. Beat him...

- How dare you mimic me? - I am not mimicking you.

I've been like this since I was a kid.

Shut up, I don't talk to people who stammer.

Very good, beat him.

I feel really sick because I stay up all night.

- You should've had two bottles of beer. - On duty?

Are you mad?

- What are you two doing here? - Where else do we go?

Alex' condition is critical.

His men are looking all over for you, you know.

Raja, idea. Tatu - Tatot ..

Shut up, Nandu. Look, Raja, aunt Kashi is no more now.

If she was alive, she would've been definitely worried about your life.

- Wouldn't she? - He's right.

You know what, Raja...

you two should disappear from this area for few days.

That is why.. Tatu - Tatot ..

- What? - Surat... Rajkot.

Yeah... Surat... Rajkot. But, Alex will find them.

Actually, you two should leave India.

But, we don't have passports.

No Raja, there is only one way.. Tattu tattot

Shut up! I'll slap you.

Let them speak, Nandu.

- Look, Raja. - Yeah.

I know someone, who will take your photos...

and stick it on someone else' passport, and send you out of India.

- Who is he? - Pappu Passport.

You fool, I've been trying to say...

Pappu Passport!

Pappu passport!

No fear... when Pappu Passport's here.

So, where do you want to go?

Pappu, we're in a lot of trouble.

We want to go out of India.

But, you don't have to worry.

Raja can give you 20,000!

You're the first Prince (RAJA) who is a pauper.

No matter... If you add 30 more to it, I can send you to a place.

- What place is that? - Look.

He is dancing.

Africa, Congo.

No-no, we're used to Indian drums.

We don't want to go to Congo.

Where do you want to go?

Give us a second.

- This Pappu's showing us really boring... - London!

London.

You and me in London.

London, sweetheart.

If you go there, I have a friend in London.

- Who? - His name is Sharafat Ali.

- He owns a Pizza shop. - Pizza!

You'll get a job too.

And, as soon as you get a job, You'll get a girl.

Life will be good!

One million rupees.

Pappu, do you know why we want to go to London.

Why?

Mother use to say...

Your mother use to say?

About brother, mother use to say...

"Look at Ramji's gait."

"it’s so explosive."

But, someone jinxed my brother's gait.

And, the local goon broke his leg.

Doctor says... my brother's legs are beyond repair.

- We need to gather Five million. - What?

Yeah...

I already paid the first installment.

How?

A cricket umpire was missing a finger.

I gave him my finger.

- But, you have all 10 fingers. - He had 11.

- 11 fingers. - Which he cut off.

Do you know how I paid the second installment?

There was an RJ. Radio Jockey.

He was dumb. We gave him his tongue.

Nandu, give him a demo.

First, I cut off my tongue and gave it to him.

- Cut off your tongue? - Yes.

- The doctor's calling. - Give it to him.

What do I tell the doctor?

What do I tell him?

- What do I tell him? - You...

Tell me... what should I say to him?

Look, brother...

Talk to him.

You do so much for your family and your friends.

You're an angel.

You've awakened the human inside me.

I'll send you.

Even if I've to sell my home. Sell my office.

Even if I've to become Pappu 'Aadhar Card’ (IDENTITY CARD)...

but, I will send you to London.

Don't cry.

Don't cry, bro... I'll send you to Heathrow.

Raja! Raja! Raja!

- This is a really nice place. - Why?

We can touch the air-hostess whenever she comes and goes.

Nandu...

- May I help you? - Hi, Where is the seat?

Just over there.

- Move. - What a view.

Move! Your jacket.

These days airplanes are so crowded.

- What? - What? It's my seat.

- How are you? Are you single? - Excuse me.

I am talking to her.

- Hi. - Hi

How are you?

London.

- Me too. - Do you want to change?

No, I like my seat.

Nice seat.

Calm down calm down, It's alright.

Please be seated.

Eh, Student of the Fear... first time traveler?

- Yeah... - Ohh..

- I mean, the first time this week. - Ohh...

Actually, you know what.

If you're scared, you can sing...

- It really works, you should try it. - Scared...

Who is scared?

- Raja, this plane is going to crash. - It's just turbulence, don't panic.

- Please, don't panic. - Sister... please.

It is just a turbulence.

- Raja! Raja! - OK... don't panic.

The air-hostess stammers too.

She's saying turbulence instead of ambulance.

Who gives them a license?

- Raja-Raja. - Yes, Nandu.

- Wooing the girl? - No, Nandu.

- Cozying up with her? - No, Nandu.

Open your eyes.

- You in my blanket, how cheap. - Eh, that's my blanket. That one's yours.

By the way, your last line 'how cheap' was really hurting.

But you cozying up to me in my blanket, was really romantic.

Shut up.

Ladies and Gentlemen, We have safely landed at London Heathrow Airport.

We hope you enjoy your flight.

We're in London!

We're in London. We've arrived in London.

- Good day. - You...

What's happening to me?

It's...

- Oh God Stop it... - Sorry, sorry...

Look, Raja.

Something's happening to me, what should I do?

Stop it, Stop it man.

- What's wrong with you? - Hey what are you doing?

Come... come on.

Wow...

At the college's annual music event you're going to rock it, man.

I'll try.

- Hi, Samara. - Prem... Prem Malhotra.

Prem, you're awesome.

I am sure you could've shown off that day...

but, all thanks to Rocky... he's kind of absurd!

He's crazy.

Prem, can I ask you for a favor?

Anything.

Can you teach me some music?

Well, I can teach you music from A to Z.

OK, so my place...

I mean, you can teach me music at my place... 4 pm.

Then I'll be there at your place today at 4 pm.

Well, it's already 5 pm.

- Sorry... - Tomorrow. Tomorrow at 4 pm.

- Yeah, tomorrow 4 pm. - OK.

- Great. - Alright.

Thanks - Cheers

And, you're really good.

Tomorrow 4 pm.

Hello.

- What are you doing? - What am I doing?

If Rocky finds out that Are you going over to Samara's house?

Then you are...

Why would Rocky have a problem if l meet Samara?

Because she's mine. Stay away from Samara.

Or else, I'll deactivate you like this Sim card.

What are you doing?

We're in an airport, everyone’s watching.

Raja, what's happening... what is happening?

Raja, what's wrong?

What happened? Can I call a Doctor?

- Hi... - Bye.

Remember me in your 'Dua'(PRAYERS) and 'Muah'!

Raja...

Bye.

Raja, what keeps happening to you suddenly.

In the airplane, you were doing this.

And, while collecting your luggage...

- you were doing that! - Nandu, I wasn't doing it intentionally.

It felt like someone caught me from behind.

- I don't get it too. - Raja...

I think you're going crazy because of happiness.

Yes, because its the first time your brother flew in an airplane.

Welcome to London, Mr.Raja, Mr.Nandu.

How do you know my Raja Babu?

Well, Pappu Passport sent me.

- Pappu Passport? - Yeah...

Pappu Passport insisted that I should take good care of you two.

So, I've made all the arrangements.

Free car, along with pickup and drop facility.

Free boarding, free food...

- And a free massage, every two hours. - With parachute oil?

No stupid, London Police truncheon.

Inspector Dhillon, London Police.

Look, bro, you can arrest us if you want.

- But, I would like to say something. - Go ahead.

My father is sick...

What's wrong with your father?

He got hurt and fell.

A man first falls down and then gets hurt.

He shut his eye, and the fan fell on him.

Bam!!

We came to London for his treatment. Even paid Pappu Passport money.

I sold my kidney for it.

- You sold a kidney! - I did.

I am not worried about the kidney.

But, when my father finds out...

that, his son is rotting in Dhillon's jail,

my poor sick father can't even commit suicide.

- Why? Why not... - The fan already fell on him!

There is no fan!

Then how will he hang himself?

Give him...

It's my father calling... My father.

- Talk to him. - Stop it... you'll make me cry.

You live in London and make fun of the poor like us?

'O Lord... there's so much sorrow in the world.'

- Do you have a handkerchief? - Give him.

Here you go. Wipe your tears properly.

There's so much sorrow in this world.

There's more sorrow than the number of people in this world.

May God bless everyone.

- Ae... Watermelon. - It's Dhillon.

Whatever! Those two? Is that Raju and Nandu?

No...

What the... Oh yes!

Rascals. Making a fool of a fellow Indian. I won's spare you.

Raja, the train's arrived at the airport. Let's catch it.

Get in. Get in.

I won't spare you.

Come back!

He made a fool out of me.

- Raja? - Yeah.

- Nandu? - Even you know my Raja Babu?

For sure you'll find me feeble minded, but favoring you will be highly flammable.

As I can foresee that both of are fatuous, frenzy,

and feckless and you've faltered frantically.

What did he say?

I just stammer, but he's out of control.

Did you understand a word?

I did! I did... Thank you, Sharafat bhai.

- He's given us the job. - Thank you, thank you...

Come here.

Nice cheeks.

Pappu Passport is in Police custody.

I can't take the risk of giving you two a job.

No, Sharafat bhai, we came here depending on you.

But, I can't take this risk.

But Sharafat bhai, if we stay here...

- you will be out of danger. - How?

Places like these are easily turn into a battleground.

- Battleground? - Yeah...

In the dead of night, people rob cute guys like you.

Where's the owner?

Where's the owner?

I am the owner.

- What is... - Where is the money?

- Give us the money. - Listen to me.

Hit him again! Hit him again!

But, imagine what could've happened if I was there.

What?

Take a look.

Where's the owner?

Where's the owner?

Hit him again!

Marvelous! Marvelous!

What are you doing?

- You're not a kid. You're the owner. - Yeah...

Boss, if you give us the job... you only stand to benefit.

What are you thinking?

Flawlessly figuring it out which Fortay should be functionalized.

What?

I am thinking whether I should offer you a job...

or partnership?

Sweety, you're looking beautiful. Really nice.

Morn, I am uncomfortable.

You see... your body language isn't right.

Once he sees your front and back...

- he'll follow you everywhere you go. - Please, mom.

What is this?

Rajeev Malhotra's son Prem is coming over to meet you.

Oh my, God.

His bank balance even makes the banks unbalanced.

Mom, stop talking about money all the...

- How are you, aunty? - Great.

Hi.

You're looking nice.

- Really? - After all, she's my daughter.

- Prem, please come in. Prem... - Morn...

Prem... I'm so happy. So, you're into music, huh!

Yes, ma'am.

- So am I? Would you like to hear? - No-no-no...

Please do.

Sa-Re-Ga-Ma... Amitabh Bachchan!

- Sa-Re-Ga-Ma... Pa. - Yeah, so Amitabh Bachchan was in 'Paa'!

Got you! Good one!

- Go in the bedroom and get it on. - Mom!

With your music...

I'll get some 'dhoklas' and 'theplas' (SNACKS)!

I am not a garba dancer.

Oh, Shirley, you turned out to be like Kate Winslet in Titanic!

- You and him, in the car... - Excuse me miss...

We're on the lookout for illegal immigrating Indians.

So, if you've seen them, just say.

- Eh, Tommy Gun, show her the picture. - Yeah...

You... have never seen them before, right? Thank you.

She's never seen them before. Let's go.

You don't want me to catch these guys and get a promotion.

That's been your plan.

Thinking.

- Stupid. - Get lost.

Go away!

You rascal.

Thank you, she's never seen them before.

- Do you realize this. - Oh miss...

You're the worst partner any cop can ever have.

Sorry-sorry-sorry... There was a mosquito over there.

Mosquito!

You followed me all the way to my dad's supermarket...

Eh!

I wasn't following you. I am the pizza delivery boy.

Nothing surprising.

This is what illegal London gatecrashers like you do.

- Eh, bornfire. - Bornfire?

'Janamjali!'

Don't think I am a pushover.

- I've 500 billion in my bank. - What?

500 billion in my bank, but, only 500 in my account.

- Pretty soon you won't have that either. - Why?

- Come on. - Where are you taking me?

- What are you doing? - Inspector.

Before you call him, listen to what I have to say.

What?

Mother use to say...

"Fair wrists..."

"...o lady, your fair wrists."

- Meaning? - I mean... If I go to jail...

then, my 11 sisters will never get married.

- 11 sisters? - Yes... And, I was the 12th man.

I gathered 1.1 million for the dowry of my 11 sisters.

But, their in-laws didn't accept...

...my old '500' and '1000' rupees notes.

It was so damn demoralizing and demonetizing.

After that, like this, like that... Don't ask how.

I gathered money and came to London, to work. To toil...

And, you want to hand me over to the police.

No. Sorry!

Alish...

I am sorry.

If I don't take responsibility for my 11 sisters...

how will I ever face my neighboring father.

Neighboring father?

There were already 11 people in the house...

so father had to stay with the neighbors.

It's my father. He's calling from our neighbor's house.

What do I tell father?

What should I tell him?

- Talk to him, please. - No I am sorry... What am I going to say?

Tell him... that you want to hand me over to the police.

- Tell him... tell him. - No, please...

Madam, my bill...

I guess he'll get her pregnant with a kiss. See you.

But, I was saying...

Anyway, continue...

The money's right here.

Sorry. Sorry, I didn't mean to do that.

I am very sorry, I didn't...

I didn't know what happened...

- Samara... Samara, I am very... - Mommy...

Don't call your mom. I don't know how that happened.

I don't know what happened.

I am... sorry, mother. Sorry daughter.

I don't know what's happening to me.

I need a shrink.

I need the NHS.

Help me help me o Lord.

- Morn, he kissed me. - Not just you...

He kissed me as well.

Mom!

Come on.

Come, my son.

He's my childhood friend, Bakshi.

His daughter is as beautiful as his home.

- I want you to meet her. - But, I don't want to meet her.

Why?

Look, this is just like you guys play on Facebook.

You 'Like', you 'Dislike'!

Like-Dislike. This is similar.

- But, I am not on Facebook. - But...

- Stop pushing me. - Come on.

Malhotra.

- When I saw from afar... - Bakshi, you've been

repeating this one-liner for 30 years now.

- Dad, he's very loud. - Yes, he's very...

When I saw from afar, something was hanging on the wall.

When I came closer, I saw it was my best buddy.

So happy to see you. So happy to see you.

- Meet my son... Prem. - Give me your blessings

Oh my, God... He's taking my blessings... In London.

- What would you like, son? - Uncle, milk.

- Milk? - Yeah.

You're a Dislike.

- Guys don't drink milk. - 'Gai' (COW) gives milk.

- Dad, they are very strange. - Yes, they are.

Raja.

This is my daughter. Alishka.

Come here, Alishka.

- Sorry. - It's OK.

Alishka dear... that's Mr Malhotra, Prem...

- Take his blessings. - Dad.

Come on, dear. Go ahead... go on.

- Dad... - Not him, dear. The father...

Let it be, dear.

- She's winking at me. - Yes, I noticed.

Now, you can ask her... "Dear, what do you do".

- What do you do, dear? - I'll tell you.

While taking a selfie, she can make 50 different types of faces.

- Move back. - Dad... Dad...

- Uncle, we'll go sit near the pool. - No...

- Yes. - I don't like pools.

- I don't want to swim. - Come on.

He wanted some milk.

You're an awesome actor, man.

Looking cultured... asking for milk...

- Where as, the other day you went wild! - Wild?

- Did you forget? You kissed so hard. - That was just a mistake.

- But, how do you know? - Oh, come on...

- You kissed so hard, everyone knows. - Everyone.

- Stop pretending now. - Please, don't tell my dad.

Now you're on track.

But, I must admit

You just barged in my house, with a fake father...

- and impressed my dad as well. - Fake father?

- Please behave yourself. - Oh yeah... I will behave myself.

- What are you doing? - You deserve another one.

- Come on. - No... no... What are you doing?

Please don't...

What the...

Like you said...

Remember me in your prayers, and in your 'muah'.

- This is Stacy and Liz... - They are all foreigners.

- Yeah, after Dipti's death... - Dad! Dad!

- What happened? - Son, you're shaking. Are you alright?

- Dad, I'm feeling vertigo. I want to go. - Have a coffee.

- No, I am getting palpitations. - Then, have a biscuit.

- I have a heart problem, dad. - Then lie down for a bit, son.

- What's wrong? - Dad, I have a problem...

- Calm down. - I can't take it anymore.

OK-OK... give him some milk.

The milk was really good, uncle. Thank you.

- Calm down. Calm down. Calm down. - Wait. Wait.

He's a little weird guy, but... how did you like him?

You chose him for me... then, he must be right.

See...

OK.

Did you see my daughter dance in Sanskrit?

First time I saw swag in Sanskrit, brother-in-law.

I guess the boy's right... But, I think the girl's wrong.

Nothing's wrong here.

It's my values which I gave my Indian daughter.

- I know everything... - If you know everything, then tell me...

...who gets the 'Man of the Match' award in a women's cricket match?

Can we travel to 'Mangal' (MARS) on a 'Sukravar' (FRIDAY)?

What?

- Were Einstein and Valentine brothers? - You're crazy.

Tell me.

You know, my gut feeling...

and my jatt feeling says that Raja is somewhere around.

Samara, Samara.

- I know. - Excuse me.

Sorry...

Samara, just a minute.

I'll see you girls.

Bye - What?

Samara, I've never behaved like this before.

I don't know what happened to me. It was me, but it wasn't me.

That kiss... your mom... I didn't mean to do that.

I am sorry.

Prem, you should go do two thing's..

First, go consult a doctor. You really need it urgently.

Second?

Second, I am hungry. Let's talk over lunch.

What would you like to eat?

Hi. Can I get a pepperoni pizza, please?

- Excuse me, are you single. - Yes.

She's single, you're single, ready to mingle.

- Oh my, Toyota. - Sorry?

- Myself Raja from Versova. - Alisha, from Radford.

- Here's your lunch. - Thanks.

By the way, you look good without specs.

Radford, you look amazing.

Which pizza would you like to have?

Sorry-sorry, I don't know why... I didn't mean it.

He can do it with both the eyes.

Sorry... I don't know why I am winking at you.

He's a magician.

- You haven't changed a bit! - No...

- You need help. - Samara, I very am sorry.

The eye doesn't stop... Keeps fluttering.

Samara, I am sorry.

Ma'am.

What's happening with me?

Samara. Samara. Samara.

- My promotion. Raja from India. - Sir, please let me go.

- Who are you, sir? - Dhillon.

- I am inspector Dhillon. - Poonam Dhillon...

- That's Kuldeep Dhillion. - Sorry.

Officer, please let me go. Otherwise, I'll get in big trouble.

- Otherwise... Threatening the police? - No, sir.

- Otherwise, what will you do? - I respect the police.

I respect the law.

Oh my, God. Since when did you start smoking?

Do you want one?

- Stay away from me. And don't follow me. - ls she crazy?

Eh, take it, easy bro. She's just a simple innocent girl.

She's hot and sexy too.

Honesty in the first line...

Molesting in the second?

Let the girl go!

- Sorry police man. - Eh, you can't hit the police.

It's a crime.

I am not hitting you, sir. This is not me.

Sir...

Sir... please forgive me, sir.

I need a doctor, sir.

- Take me to a doctor, sir. - No, no...

Wait.

Come.

Sir.

What's happening to me?

- How dare you push a Police officer? - Excuse me.

Where did he go?

I won't spare you.

Raja... I'll get that promotion.

This is wrong.

Raja!

You're dead.

Come on you cop... come on.

Jump you cop.

Phillon!

What are you doing?

Dhillon!

Move.

Pass, pass, pass, pass, the ball.

Pass the ball pass the ball.

Throw, throw, Go, go.

What the...

Come down.

Come down, and I'll show you.

Shall I come down?

- Shall I come down? - Careful.

Fine, I am coming.

Don't hit the police

Come you cops.

Come back now.

I am not going to spare you.

What happened?

What's wrong with Samara?

Actually, she became unconscious.

So I brought her here.

- What did you do to make her unconscious? - No...

Naughty boy-

Aunty...

Son-in-law!

Father-in-law.

Why did you jump over the gate?

Oh my... I've always been a jumping jack.

That reminds me...

"When I looked from afar, it was Alia Bhatt."

Nice.

"When I looked from afar, it was Alia Bhatt."

- "When I took a closer look, it was... - Mahesh Bhatt."

- I see... you're here to meet my daughter. - Yes.

- Yellow favorite color, huh! - Yeah.

- Absolutely... awesome. - Awesome.

Follow me.

I would rather go in here than go to jail.

- Follow me. - Wait for me, old man.

Who is this baldy?

- Thanks, Prem. - For getting you out cold?

No, mom. There was a guy who tried to act fresh with me.

- And Prem beat him up. - Did I?

Don't be modest. I've seen it.

This calls for a celebration. Rum, whiskey or vodka?

I don't drink alcohol.

Only milk.

Here I come... here I come with milk.

Here you are, sir. Your favorite cow's milk.

You Buffalo, if you want to give milk...

...then go to Aarey Milk Colony. I can...

sniff out my stuff. Get lost.

Brother-in-law. Brother-in-law. Brother-in-law.

He's the wrong number. He's not Prem.

He's Prem.

Prem drinks milk. Prem drinks alcohol.

He doesn't drink alcohol in front of his father.

He pretends to be cultured in front of his father. It's his values.

Prem is a funny man.

- Say cheers. - Huh!

- Say cheers. - Cheers.

This is soo good!

Why do I feel high after drinking this milk?

It's not the milk, its Samara.

Aunty...

Uncle, you've got a really hot daughter.

Wanna go 9 to 12?

Samara!

- You're awesome. - Awesome.

Son-in-law.

Son-in-law, what are you doing?

- Why? ls she your wife? - No.

Hold on... Hold on...

Out!

She's Natalia, our maid.

My daughter is upstairs, in the bedroom.

- Your daughter's upstairs, in the bedroom? - Yes.

For me? Wow!

I told you...

What? That my daughter will fall in love...

with a guy in yellow?

- Oh my, Alishka. - My Hero.

- Father-in-law, is she your daughter? - She's my daughter.

Then I've got to ask her a question.

- What is the capital of Afghanistan? - Kabul.

- What? - Kabul!

- Meaning? - Kabul!

Yala Habibi, Sheikh sir...

...your daughter said 'Qubool' (I DO) thrice. Congratulations.

Congratulations.

Nu Bukhara.

I am all yours.

Brother-in-law, he's the wrong number.

Why do keep dialing wrong numbers?

- Beautiful, right. - I like that.

Look, Bro.

Samara, do you want to watch the harry potter play?

Harry potter?

Wow, Prem. You've been dancing and singing these days too.

I even noticed you two were holding hands. Not bad, huh!

No...

Rocky sir.

We were singing and dancing...

because we were practicing for the music event.

I see.

And... And we were holding hands because...

I got lost in this college. She was guiding me.

Stop lying, Prem.

- Yes, Rocky. We're dating. And having fun. - No, fun.

And guess what, we've kissed. You wanna see how.

Why you...

He's not scared of any Tom-Dick-or-Rocky, OK.

- What are you saying? - Oh, come on, Prem.

I've seen how you bashed up that guy in Basketball Court.

Which guys?

Rocky, lay off. Because if he blows his cool...

Then what? What will you do? What can you do?

- What will you do? - What will I do? I won't do anything.

- I won't do anything now. - He won't do it now.

He'll do it later. After college is over.

- Exactly 5 pm. Simcard. - Yeah.

Tell everyone in college.

Today evening at 5 pm...

- Prem will fight with Rocky. - Huh? OK. Fine.

- Simcard, wait. - No, she just said it.

Oh yes, I have an appointment with the dentist at 5 pm.

- I have a toothache. - Don't worry.

- After 5 pm, you won't have any teeth. - He's going to clean your clock at 5 pm.

- I see... - He's going to rip you apart.

Really?

You know Samara, you're making such tall claims for him...

Save me god.

but, look behind you.

Rocky-Prem! Rocky-Prem! Rocky-Prem! It's a Muscle Mania.

You should also come. It's going to be fun.

There will be kicking, punching... Please join us.

Come on!

Today 5 o'clock. Royal Rumble! Summer Slam.

Come on.

5 o'clock... Rocky Vs. Prem!

You have a problem, my son?

Father, I have a lot of problems.

Father, there's a girl I love, but...

Tell Him!

God. I have a very small problem.

You've performed so many miracles.

God, please save me from getting beaten up at 5 o'clock.

I can't take it, I am very weak.

God, maybe not for me... at least, for my mom and dad.

I am their only son. Please, God!

Excuse me, excuse me.

Yes...

He's here.

Don't look at me like that, Silly. You'll fall in love.

- You too. - Eh...

- Pepperoni pizza? Your order? - Yeah... come.

Coming through... Corning through, sweetmeat.

You look really hungry, sir.

You brought pizza for everyone because you're scared, huh!

- Why are you hitting me? - It's 5 o'clock.

But I brought it in 30 minutes.

Hey you...

Bless the child.

You shouldn't have done that, man.

This isn't right.

I only respect two things in life.

Mother... and food.

Because one gives birth to us...

and the other keeps us alive.

And young man, I don't need a reason to bash you up...

but I've found a big emotion.

Hurry up, I don't have time.

Oh my child are you okay?

That hurt. That hurt. That hurt.

Come on.

Mister, I always do what I say.

And, what I don't say... I Whatsapp! Get up.

Come on.

Thank you thank you,... Thank you baby.

Good job.

Don't underestimate the power of a pizza boy.

- Pizza... - Yeah!

Oh lord?

- Sorry. - No, I am sorry.

- Sorry. - No, I am sorry.

- Don't hit me. Don't hit me. - Sorry.

- Why will I hit you? I won't hit you. - Don't hit me.

I won't hit you. Don't hit me. Sorry

One a Raja, one a Prem.

Doctor, very strange things are happening to me.

I feel like someone's suddenly controlling my body.

The other day I suddenly kissed a girl.

- Then, I hit a policeman. - You did the right thing.

So, what's the problem?

Well...

What is the problem?

It would've been a problem...

if you had hit the girl and kissed the policeman.

Yuck... distasteful.

Relax my boy, chill. Relax.

- Are you tensed? - Yeah.

- Are you stressed? - Yes.

Let me explain. Come, with me.

Come, my boy, come.

Now listen to me carefully.

Split-personality, multiple disorders...

...you 'don't' have any causes or symptoms. Not at all.

That means you're absolutely fine. Fit as fiddle.

- But, doctor... - Buts and if's... Ohh...

Let me diagnose you once and for all.

Put that back inside. Did I ask you to stick your tongue outside?

Don't stick your tongue outside. Put it back in.

Soft as marshmallow, huh!

You stepped back.

- You stepped back, didn't you? - I did.

You stepped back, that means you're alright.

If you were sick, you would've broken my jaw...

Like this.

See, you stepped back again. This means you're perfectly alright.

- I don't get it. - OK, that's all done. Thank you.

I went over to deliver pizza.

I didn't even know the guy, or crossed his path...

the bloody buffoon started throwing punches at me.

- Does that hurt? - Yes, don't do it.

- I just want to know if it hurts. - Stop touching.

Well, I only want to know it's paining.

- Sorry, sorry, I didn't mean that. - You're lying. You hit me.

Don't come any closer. Don't come any closer. I will jump.

Doctor, please help me.

- What please? - I need help sir.

Get out!

You don't have a disorder, you're out of order.

Bloody hell, he hit me.

Doctor, I am very unwell doctor.

I need help. I am going crazy.

l will jump... 1... 2... s...

Sigh.. Survived!

Malhotra... Charles.

Soon I'll be out of jail.

And then, I won't spare you and your family.

I know you're going to say...

This is between you and me, Charles. Leave my family out of this."

And the usual blah-blah...

Look Raja, accident.

Hold it... hold it...

Get down, I'll take a look.

Raja, this is just like the scene in Three Idiots. I am scared.

Nandu, when Lord Ganesha's with you, no harm can come to him.

- Hail Lord... - Ganesha.

It'll be fine, keep breathing.

Prem!

- Doctor, excuse me. - Yes.

- Where is the ICU, please? - Go to the 2nd Floor.

Prem!

He is still breathing...

How is he? How did this happen?

Don't worry, he's fine.

- So sudden... - Don't cry.

I'm telling you he's fine. Please...

Son.

He'll be fine.

He'll be absolutely fine.

- But, where is he? - He's in there, room 202.

What happened, Raja? Why are you crying?

If only my mother was alive, she would've hugged me just like this.

Family is such an amazing thing.

Even the richest man in the world is a pauper without a family.

You're right, Raja. But, don't worry.

I am your family.

- You make me... puke. - Hopeless life.

Come on.

Come on, we've lots of pizzas to deliver.

- Who is calling? - Let me answer first.

Tell him you're at the hospital.

It's an emergency.

Nandu...

No... No...

Alex... Alex.

- Alex. Come on. - Leave me you fool.

Alex let them go!

Relax. Relax.

- Alex, relax. - OK, doctor.

I'm not the doctor, I am your uncle.

Your uncle.

Sorry... Sorry dear.

He keeps doing these absurd things.

Since the day someone hit him on the head with a coconut...

- he has lost his memory. - Wow...

What 'wow'? What's funny about it?

He's lost his memory, and you think it's funny.

He means he's got such bad luck.

Nandu...

Sorry.

- His memory card is corrupted. - You mean like Gone!?

Uncle...

- I mean, can I call you uncle? - Yeah...

No one can change destiny.

He's forgotten everything. You should forget too.

No! ' Why?

- We'll never forget this. - But...

What does the doctor say? I mean what are his chances?

His memory can come back in 10 minutes.

10 minutes?

Or 10 days...

10 months or 10 years.

His first like spelled trouble, but his last line was a big relief.

Uncle.

It's me... me...

There's something called 'Forgive and Forget'.

There is...

- Take care of him. - Feed him properly.

Feed him some pizza. Take this card.

Order a pizza.

Once Alex's memory is back... I will kill that coconut-guy.

- Let the coconut-guy go. - Leave him.

We will kill that rascal.

- We will torture him to death. - Let the coconut-guy go.

I want to go back to Mumbai.

We're in big trouble.

He said it can take him 10 years to regain his memory.

He even said he can regain his memory in 10 minutes.

Hey.

What are you doing? Do you want to kill him?

This is the Italian Collection.

This is the Arabic Collection.

And, this is our latest Gold Collection. Also known as the Bahubali Collection.

So much gold.

"Gold-Gold-everywhere I see."

- Does this shop belong to Bappi Lahiri? - Mom?

I am just joking. Joking...

- Prem... how is this? - Lovely.

- Nice, right. - Suits you.

Then don’t just stand there, go and settle the bill.

Mom, let it be.

It's a little too big for me. It's OK.

If you can grow from small to big, we can definitely make this smaller.

Mom...

- How much? - 18,000 Pounds.

- Sir, including making charges. - Is that all?

Pay them, son.

- She was beautiful. - Say thank you.

What's Raja doing here?

- Aren't you Mr. Rajeev Malhotra's son? - Yes.

- Prem. Prem Malhotra. - It's a pleasure, sir.

Sir.

Which way do we go?

- Actually, my debit card is... - We'll look into the payment.

- Mr. Goldie, get the ring altered. - Sir.

He will get it altered.

Raja. What are you doing here?

- I noticed you from the window. - Sorry, I don't know you.

Sorry, I don't know you?

I am your Nandu, you're my Raja.

- Who's Nandu? Who's Raja? I don't know. - Just wait for one minute.

Just wait...

- I think this boy's crazy. - Get out. Get out.

- She's throwing me out. - What?

I mean, she's asking me to leave. And you're listening.

I see... just because you found a girl and an old lady...

and you forgot all about your old friend.

Don't you dare... Don't you dare call my daughter old?

Mom.

I didn't call her old. I meant the old lady.

Oh my, God.

Stupid, donkey...

- Idiot. - Please escort this man out.

Listen...

Listen to me, mister.

Listen to me, mister.

- Be gentle. - Sir...

I don't like this.

- Show her a ring too. - Take a look...

Show her a ring too.

- I want this one. - See for yourself.

Take this one... take it.

No, I want bigger.

What are you staring at?

I dare you to say that you don't know your brother Sharafat.

And, you don't work as a pizza boy at my place.

But, I don't sir.

Yes, I don't.

- Freaky Fanatic Foolish Fahrenheit Fish! - What?

Yes... No matter how many F words I use they aren't enough.

Who is he? Throw him out.

- I am Sharafat. - I don't know you.

- Sir... - Your brother Sharafat.

- I don't know you. - This isn't right.

He is getting emotional

Why are you crying?

How can you forget our friendship for her?

Raja...

And said 'why are you crying’.

- Guys, please. - Don't do this, Raja.

Take some money, please.

Come on... out you go.

Father and son frauds, come on.

Out... out of my shop. Out!

- Flabbergasted Food Poisoning Fungus. - What?

I've never been so embarrassed before.

You're absolutely right, brother Sharafat.

I used to wash his dirty underwear when we were kids.

And today, broke our friendship.

- What? - Broke the friendship.

- Broke our friendship. - Broke our friendship. Speak clearly.

I feel such a burden on my heart. Let me go relieve myself.

I am really restless.

Raja. It's Valentine's Day.

Curses...

He keeps changing girls along with his clothes.

Then I must buy you a gift.

But money...

- Come on. - What happened?

You want a gift, don't you? Come on.

- Brother Sharafat. - I see... so finally you've recognized me.

Of course.

I can forget myself, but not you.

- Godfather. - Hi.

Alishka, he's the reason I am still in London.

Get lost...

fraud cheater you humiliated me and now crack a jokes on me

- What? - You're fired.

- But brother Sharafat. - Quiet.

- What did I do? - Shut up.

- At least tell me... - You are fired.

Let's go... come on.

- Come. - Fine.

Mother use to say...

"The world is made of brass..."

"...and I am a baby doll made of gold."

"l am a baby doll made of gold." - What?

I mean, she only looks OK...

- but, she's not OK from inside. - ls she a fake?

Yes.

- Just last week, Alishka went for a botox. - I see...

This is just makeup. There's powder on her face.

So much powder, that we can play carom with it.

She's completely shaken.

She's jacked up, and I can't handle it.

The doctor said she must get a surgery immediately.

But a jobless man like me who doesn't have money...

Yeah, my phone.

- Look... Wajid Khan's calling. - What?

Dr. Wajid Khan, he's a renowned surgeon.

What do I tell him?

Tell him, or else she will get a botox again. Tell him.

- Here... - What?

- Credit Card. Debit Card. Extra Card. - And the money.

- Give it... - Keep it. Keep it, son.

Get her treated, and come back to your job.

You still have your job.

One minuet...

you mean, the other day you made up that story...

about your mother and kissed me.

- That reminds me... - What?

What the...

It's the girl from the store. Same position.

Stop it, dear.

You pervert. Haven't you seen anyone kissing before?

Pervert.

I am doing my job, keeping an eye on people. Pervert!?

Rascal...

- Sir. - Yeah, Goldie.

Look there.

"Love at first sight..."

Sir, "it’s my first time..."

That boy really loves her a lot.

- Did you get the ring altered? - Sir, ready.

How long are you going to stare for sir?

Come, sir.

- Excuse me. - Your ring's been altered.

- No! - No.

No! I love it.

I love it, Raja.

You're a shrewd guy like Akshay Kumar in Rustom.

It's a surprise for me.

It's a surprise for me as well.

Sir, it's a surprise for us as well.

Why are you giving this ring to me?

This is your ring...

but, are you sure you want to give it to her?

Would you like me to give it to your spinster sister?

Tell me the price.

- 18,000 Pounds. - Sir, including making charges.

You oversized balloon, I'll deflate you.

The price for this ring, not your shop.

It's the price for the ring.

You know what, take the ring. We'll collect the payment later.

- You mean I can take it. - Yes.

- Do I really look so decent? Alishka. - Yeah...

- You got your ring, didn't you? - Yes...

let's play ring a-ring a-roses.

Disappear.

Sir.

What? My Prem gave a ring to your daughter?

Hold on...

- Ankita. - Corning. What happened?

Listen to this.

Yeah... Prem came home last week to see Alishka.

He even danced with her.

A shy guy like Prem... This is breaking news, Bakshi.

- I'll call you later. - OK, bye.

- Prem, a shy guy. - Brother-in-law!

A guy that drinks milk... drinks alcohol!?

Even flirts with our maid.

- And, fingers your daughter's rings. - What do you want to say?

- He will take your daughter for a ride. - Daughter for a ride?

He'll take your daughter for a ride and leave her.

Leave her?

- Wrong number, brother-in-law? - Daughter!

Balraj Bakshi!

Papa, why come to this college?

Are you getting admitted to college, like Shahrukh Khan in 'Main Hoon Na'?

Very funny... I'm taking you to see the guy who gave you the ring.

Dad, you won't find him here.

Look at him - You mean my Love! - Yeah...

"My Love... My love... Beloved, you're My Love."

Go for him.

Okay.

My daughter.

Hi.

Oh my, God. Listen, you're too good.

First, the fake dad... And now, fake student! Nice touch, huh!

Have you lost your mind? And, stop being so touchy!

- Leave me alone... shoo! - Shoo.

- Shoo? - Shoo!

Shoo! Shoo! Shoo!

OK, stop acting now.

Dad's here, so am I... to take you with us.

So we can fix our wedding date.

Marriage? I don't even know you, sister.

- Why will I marry you? - Ohh... so you don't know me?

No.

- So why did you give me this ring? - Who gave you this ring?

But this ring...

- Eh... you gave it to me. - Me?

What's wrong with you? Have you lost it?

Did you forget the ring? Did you forget the kiss as well?

What?

We kissed for almost a minute.

- When did you kiss my daughter? - Forget when, brother-in-law.

He kissed her for a minute.

Who said you can kiss her for one minute?

Papa, when it came to making a commitment...

he's backing out. Take your stupid ring.

- Let's go, papa. - Uncle...

- You kissed her for a minute. - Hold on.

How can you forget... you drank my single malt whiskey.

Never.

And danced too.

What was that song?

"Your building's too tall."

"And the lift's closed."

- Uncle, I... - Did you do it or not?

- I didn't do it... - You didn't...

You are a cheater. You are a cheater. You are a cheater.

Uncle, don't do that.

- Your lift's closed down. - Which lift?

I have... I don't...

You bought this ring for me, didn't you?

- But you gave it to her. - Samara...

- You kissed her! - No, they are lying.

I see... Then, this one's for your true love.

I haven't done anything like they say. I swear...

It's a serious case of bipolar.

In such cases, the patient has suicidal tendency...

Doctor.

- The meeting is over. - What about the patient?

Let him die.

Doctor. Doctor, I went over to your clinic.

But they told me I can find you here.

Doctor please, doctor hear me out..

Hello, Alishka. I've been calling you for so long.

It's over between us. Don't call me again, Raja.

It's over.

Alishka... Hello... Hello...

What a turncoat...

Eh man, give me your phone.

Eh bro... I'm in a bad mood right now.

This girl's really messed my mind. I'll bang you up.

Get lost.

Last time you behaved like a complete madman. I won't listen to you now.

Doctor...

Yours is a noble profession. For the sake of your profession...

please, help me.

Give me your fucking phone I said.

You think you're too smart.

Oh no.

Do you want my phone? Do you want my phone?

Take it. Take it.

- What have I done to you, you madman? - Doctor, I am sorry.

Sorry.

Eh Indian, it's not over.

Gayle, Bravo, Pollock, Daren.

Easy...

OK-OK-OK...

You've got the entire West Indies team.

Easy man... easy man...

You all are champions, man.

He's a champion. You're a champion. Everybody is a champion.

Gayle is a champion, Bravo is a champion. Daren is a Champion.

Champion!

DJ... Bravo!

DJ... Bravo!

- I like your shirt. - You like the shirt.

Take the shirt.

You take that, you keep it. Take it.

- I like your shoes. - You like my shoe man.

Take shoes.

Take the trousers, man. It's yours man, no problem.

Come on, you take it. Take it.

Keep it.

You want the vest. Take it.

Take it, it's yours man.

OK, peace man Bob Marley.

Woah... Woah... Woah... I like those boxers.

First, you lock horns...

next you want to strip my clothes.

No man.

Get him.

- Why don't you go home man? - Okay let's get him man.

You just ruined my shirt's laundry.

These pants cost 2O Pounds, Mowgli.

Nice, shoes. Huh! They are mine.

Oh my, God! Shit man... we got the same face.

We've got the same freaking face.

- Same to same face. - Holy Mother of Jesus.

- Lord... - This is a miracle.

This is a miracle.

Shit

Stop dancing.

- I need a picture. - Don't click my picture. Have you lost it?

I need to tell my mom.

We just look the same.

- Don't call your mom. - Where are you from? Who are you?

What is your name, sir?

I mean we just you...

- What are you looking at? - No-no, I was just...

Tell me something, stupid... did your mom ever come to Mumbai?

No!

Did your dad ever come to London?

Stupid.

Now I understand why Rocky attacked me in the college.

Yeah... and, why Inspector Dhillon was trying to arrest me.

And why Alishka's father offered me milk?

And, why Samara and your girlfriend threw the ring at me.

Look, boy... take my advice, this is a fine mess we've got into.

Tell Alishka's old man that you are you, and I am me.

Then, he will never let you marry Alishka.

Why?

Because, they think I am Prem, not you.

- And if I tell him... - You're clever.

Yes - You've got a point. Come on.

But, we must tell our girls.

Yes, Raja. If Samara can't be mine...

- I won't let anyone have her. - I see...

So, if becomes yours, you'll let anyone have her?

No, no, that's not what I meant.

- But, what do I do now? - Samara is very angry.

And, I am scared to face her.

Coward.

You know what, you pretend to be Raja and get Alishka.

And, I'll pretend to be Prem and get Samara.

Listen, stay away from my girl.

- She tends to get really touchy. - Yes, you're right.

She's touchy.

- Can I go? - Yes.

- Are you sure I can go? - Go on.

I won't if you don't want me to.

Leave, or do you want a whack on your head.

- OK, don't be violent. - Crazy guy.

Ms. Alishka. Ms. Alishka.

- Oh, good morning, uncle. - Good morning.

- How dare you enter my house? - Look, I know you're very upset.

But please give me a chance to explain.

- I said get out. - Don't be so rude, dear.

Come closer.

I admit, if you look from afar he looks like a peanut.

I admit, if you look from afar he looks like a peanut.

But, take a closer look, he's your Bahubaali.

Very funny.

Dad, don't interfere.

Don't say that. First, ask him why is he here.

What's he here to say?

- You're here to say sorry, aren't you? - Yes, uncle.

- You regret I, Don't you? - Yes, uncle.

You... want to say 'I Love You’, don't you?

Yes, uncle.

Then say it already, son.

You're saying all that, dad. He's only saying 'yes uncle’.

Are you listening what she's saying? I mean...

Say it.

- Ms. Alishka. - Stop being so formal.

Look, the one you love, loves you too.

- Does he love me? - If he's your lover, he'll love you.

- Will he marry me? - If he loves you, he'll marry you too.

ls this for me?

For you... Yes, fresh flowers.

Brother-in-law...

Brother-in-law, he's talking in indirect speech.

I think he's the wrong number.

Brother-in-law...

Anybody at home? Raja's here.

I mean the prince of your dreams, Prem's here.

- What Prince? - So she's Samara.

Are you back to break her heart again?

Bloody rascal didn't take a look at her age, or her waist.

What are you looking at? What do you have to say now?

All I want to say is...

I admit you've completely withered.

But, even an old jalopy gives a few kicks before starting.

I admit that the fairness of your arms, Have rubbed on to your hair.

But, keep your chin up.

I admit that all your teeth have grown old.

But an elephant's tusk is used to make ornaments, Senorita.

- Mom... - Oh, my...

Aunty... aunty...

Just repeat everything I said to Samara, for me.

Morn, please ask him to get out.

Yes, I'll leave. But, only after I tell the truth.

What truth?

Mother use to say...

"Live your life to the fullest..."

"Who knows, whether this time stays tomorrow."

- What? - I mean that girl is suffering.

From an Identity crisis!

- Identity crisis? - Yes, it's a medical condition.

Medical condition. She's like my cousin sister.

But, whenever she gets fits...

...she starts calling me sweetheart.

Yesterday she called her dog 'papa'.

And, do you know what she called her papa?

Tommy, come. Stay. Stay.

Identity crisis..

Look, it's her. I saved her name as 'sister' on my phone.

What do I tell her now? You say...

- You mean... she's your sister. - Yeah.

- And you really... - Yes.

You and I... Me and you...

Aunty, is it OK if she takes her like this?

Look son...

this is how you made an entry like this.

- Now, you can make an exit like this too. - OK, you're very funny.

- Aunty, can I take your car? - Go on, son. It's all yours.

Brother-in-law, he's the wrong number.

- Prem. - Raja.

- Prem. - Raja.

You idiot, I sent you to get Alishka.

Why did you bring her father and uncle too?

No, I didn't bring them here.

Raja. What are you doing, Raja?

- Raja, open the door. - Who is it?

What do you mean who? Must be Alishka.

- Go open the door. - Raja, open the door.

- No, I won't. You open the door. - Open the door, or else...

Please don't push me.

Raja open the door.

Raja, why did you take so long?

- And, I heard two voices. - Actually, this room echo's.

Look... Alishka.

Alishka. Alishka. Alishka. Alishka.

That's so cool.

Wow...

Such a beautiful Jacuzzi. Let's bathe together.

Oh Jesus, before marriage it's a sin.

No, no...

You're going to bathe with me one way or another.

- Show me those sexy abs. - I'll take the pants off.

OK, fine. I'll go change.

Naughty-

Sin.

What?

What are you doing?

Brother, there's something wrong inside. Very wrong.

My daughter's inside, and my son-in-law.

ls it right to see them in this condition?

Does it feel right? Does it feel right?

Let's go.

- You dimwit, what are you doing? - Alishka wants me to bathe with her.

- Can I bathe with her? - I see...

If she tells you to jump in the well, will you?

Yes...

No-no...

Come on, get inside the water.

- Raja... Raja... - Drown.

Yes.

Raja, listen. I heard two voices again.

Darling, you've such good ears.

People are hard of hearing, but you can hear extra.

And, why did you put your clothes back again?

- I was feeling shy. - But, I'll take these off too.

- Go and change. - I'll be back in pop style.

What happened?

Raja, you were there a minute ago.

How did you take your clothes off so soon?

I was really restless to bathe with you. So quickly.

Quickly.

No-no...

- I am confused. - Me too.

Silly...

What's wrong with you? Why are you screaming?

Chill... you're blinded by love So you're seeing two things at once!

- Come my darling, come on. - No.

I love you... I love you.

You stupid fool, I'll hit you so hard that you'll dirty the pool water.

- Did you say something? - Your ears are ringing.

Silly...

Come on, that's enough.

Did you have fun?

If I am going to bathe after a month, its got to be fun.

I'll go change.

You? You were in the Jacuzzi with me.

- How did you get here? - I walked.

I see... walked?

Prem!

Prem!

- Prem, what are you doing here with her? - We were bathing.

- Bathing. - Yes.

- You love me and bathe with her! - I'll bathe with you too.

Raja, what nonsense is this?

- Raja? He's not Raja, he's my Prem. - He's not Prem. He's my Raja.

- Prem, who is Raja? - Who is Prem, Raja?

Raja...

- I knew it. You were cheating on me. - Wait...

Prem, you are cheating on me.

No..l am not.

I knew there is a problem.

Raja, please help me.

- Help me, Raja. - Hello, ladies.

Help me.

This is called 'Twins’!

Raja!

Nandu, he looks just like me.

- In fact, he's my twin. - What are you saying, Raja?

You mean, the guy who threw me out of the shop that day wasn't you?

No.

- That was Prem. - Yes.

- Raja, are you joking? - No, Nandu.

You don't know... There are seven look a likes in this world.

I think that idiot is my duplicate.

- Eh! - They are just kids.

Kids, then why are they behaving like adults?

Sorry, uncle.

"Sorry uncle."

Raja!

Does that mean there will be 6 more Nandus like me in this world?

Of course... but, they won't be dimwits like you.

What happened? Why are you getting emotional?

ls it because I called you emotional?

No, that hit really hard.

Sorry, uncle...

You...

Oh my god!

Alex! Alex! Alex!

Alex! Alex! Alex!

Alex!

Who hit him?

Get that patient off. Bring that stretcher.

Alex! Alex! Alex!

Take him to the emergency please... immediately.

Dad.

- Alex. - I think he got his memory back.

Brother... where all medicines failed, this ball did the trick.

- ls this the address? - Yes. It's this one.

- Read the address. - Yes, it's this one.

Nandu, let me carry the boxes. They are taller than you.

- What are you saying? - Yes.

- Thank you, Raja. - Come on.

"Here comes the Pizza!"

"Here comes the Pizza!"

"Here comes the Pizza!"

"Here comes the Pizza!"

"Here comes the Pizza!"

"Here comes the Pizza!"

Raja.

I guess the hospital guys got fed up...

...and let him go.

Let's have some fun with him.

Come on...

Keep this too.

What's your name?

Alex.

See the shoe? Remember.

A bunch of tamarind, a tree of jujube.

Alex's shoes on Nandu's feet.

Nandu. I don't think he remembers that song.

Which one?

"See you... remember me in your prayers."

Raja! Raja!

Uncle, cancel my return tickets.

The Coconut-guy we've been looking for...

- is right in front of me. - I think he got his memory back.

- Yes. - All thanks to this ball.

Uncle.

Some nice guy kicked this ball...

and the ball hit Alex on his head. And, he got his memory back.

Raja!

This is the same ball you kicked in the garden.

Hey Wait.

I admit he lost his memory because of me.

But, he also got it back because of me, uncle.

What uncle?

- Take your shoes back. - You bloody...

Bloody stammered.

Raja!

Get up. Come on.

Oh my god - Nandu, run.

Alex. Are you OK, Alex. Alex.

I think he's lost his memory again. Alex.

Who am I? Alex.

ls Big Ben a clock or your elder sister? Tell me, son.

- Alex, who do we vote for next? - Uncle, I am fine.

- Fine. - Leave me.

What the hell are you looking at? Get him.

Throw away the pizza.

- Alex... how many fingers? - Uncle!

Come on.

Hey you!! stop.

- Nandu, we must jump. - No, l won't jump.

Nandu, if we don't jump, we'll die.

Come on.

Are you OK?

Come on.

The places you've made me jump from!!

You know what, Nandu, you go left. And, I'll go right.

Why?

Because they won't follow you, they will follow me.

No, I can't leave you.

- Nandu, stop blabbering and run. - No, I won't go.

- We don't have time, Nandu. Run. - I won't go.

- I said go. - No!

Go!

- I said go. - You hit me?

Take care, Raja.

Hey.

Oh my god!

What happened?

My family?

Why are you jumping like a frog?

- Don't come any closer. - Huh?

- Help! - Why are you screaming?

Don't act smart with me. Help!

- Why are you calling people? - I even called the police.

- Why? - Yeah...

If you even lay a finger on me...

- they will arrest you, understand. - Shut up, Rishi Kapoor's duplicate.

- Or I will beat you up. - You'll beat me up?

Get lost you, crazy guy.

- How dare you call me a crazy? - Stop, stop, don't move.

- Hi. - Hi.

I am Dr. Lulla.

He is on the BMX

Hey.

Wow.

Whoow...

Oh my god.

Hey you... Wait.

Move, leave.

Hey.

I swear Raja, you're going in for good.

Sir, not Raja. No-no, I am Prem.

- Prem Malhotra. His look alike. - Look alike.

- You're the guy who's good for nothing. - Sir, you're hurting me.

Sir, talk to my dad. Policeman confusion.

- Sir, talk to my dad Rajeev Malhotra. - To hell with your papa.

- Sir... - There's nothing anyone can do now.

Get in.

Woah... Stop stop - Sir you can't take that in here

What's wrong, Samara? Why do you look so tensed?

Prem hasn't showed up yet. The show's going to start.

I've been trying to call him, But he isn't answering.

Prem... Prem is here.

Hurry up... hurry up, bro. Where were you?

The show's about to start, and you're showing up on a cycle.

Prem... on a cycle.

The crowd is going crazy. Silence! Silence!

Bro, are you scared?

It's that Idiot's show.

Silence! Silence!

I said stop yelling. Don't think Justin Bieber's going to show up here.

Quiet!

Since I was a kid, I sang and danced with 'Bappa' (LORD GANESHA)!

And, created a sensation all over Mumbai.

Bappa came in my dreams and said...

"Raja, don't be scared, never bow down..."

"...don't hesitate, and... never be shy."

ls Prem nervous? Why is he talking like that?

That's not Prem, that's my Raja.

Sir, I am not Raja, I am Prem. Prem Malhotra.

- I've been trying to tell you that. - I see.

I guess your mother said that too, stupid.

Look, sir, you're making a big mistake.

It's the first concert of my life.

If I don't get there, who will do the show?

Hello brother

Raja!

Get up, get UP-

Raja!

Get up. Get up.

Let my Raja Babu go! Let my Raja Babu go!

Let my Raja Babu go!

We're letting your Raja Babu go.

Raja!

That's the old man from the Street.

ls he your friend?

It was Raja who saved your friend's life.

For the sake of your friend, let my Raja Babu go.

Alex.

- Do you two know him? - Yes.

He was dying on the street...

I got him to the hospital at the right time and saved his life, sir.

I think you should give us a reward and let us go.

Reward?

Malhotra?

He's my 20-year-old enemy.

And, you saved his life.

We've such bad luck.

We saved his enemy's life.

- Beat me. Beat me... - Alex!

Raja, no one's going to touch you now.

Because you will bring me Malhotra.

Done.

I'll get the old man.

- Come on. - Eh...

- Nandu stays here. - Why? This is not his problem.

I'll get straight to the point.

Exchange offer. Deliver Malhotra, take away Nandu.

Otherwise, Nandu's head... goes 'boom’.

Take it.

Take it.

Malhotra won't come easily. You will need this.

Go and get Malhotra.

- Raja... Raja, will you come back? - No, I won't

- He hits a lot. - Don't cry.

If I don't come back for you, who else will I come back for?

Come back soon, Raja.

- Come soon, they are beating me. - Quiet.

Prem. You're unbelievable. I've been trying to call you.

Why didn't you answer my calls?

- Anyway, tell me... - Where is Malhotra?

I am talking to you, are you deaf? Where is he?

- Prem... - Eh old man, come with me quietly.

- What's wrong with you, Prem? - To hell with Prem... I am Raja.

- What kind of a joke is this? - Does this look like a joke?

What are you doing, son?

- Raja. - Prem.

What are you doing? She's my mom.

- That's my dad. - So? Do you want me to celebrate?

Look, Prem. I saved his life once...

and now, I'm going to put his life in danger.

Scored settles.

- You two look so similar. - Yes... we only look alike.

He's Prem born in London. Your son.

And, I am Raja from Versova, Mumbai.

And aunt Kashi raised me. The end.

- Come on... - Raja, don't...

- What can you do? - Prem... Prem, let him take me.

It's not his fault.

He doesn't know that...

he's not just taking your dad, but your dad as well.

What?

Don't try to make any emotional stories now?

It's true, son. It's true.

I gave birth to twins at the Bombay Hospital.

Yes.

And, Charles disappeared with you.

I thought maybe you...

You are our son.

Our son!

And this man here is your twin brother.

Forgive me, I...

No Raja!

You turned out to be my brother.

- Sorry, I called you idiot, stupid... - Doesn't matter.

- My brother can call me anything. - Prem, I...

Not Prem... you can call me idiot only.

- Idiot! - What are you doing?

I thought you got emotional.

You're such an idiot.

Eh, guys...

Here comes my Raja... get ready to be beaten up.

Raja!

What are you looking at you villain from the 80's?

You asked for Malhotra, didn't you? Here's Malhotra.

Malhotra. We meet again.

- Look, Charles. This... - Yes-yes, I know.

I'll get straight to the point.

You screwed me, I'll screw you.

Hello, screw-driver.

Look, you guys can chit-chat later. I want to get out of here.

Come on, get Nandu out.

- Son... - Dad, when will Raja come?

- He will come. - Oh no.

Come on get up.

Dad... Please don't hit him. Please.

He's not Raja. That's not Raja, he is getting beaten up.

Don't hit me. Don't... please... don't hit me. Please.

Don't hit me.

Please...

Look, I am warning you.

I mean I am telling you if you touch me again...

...then he'll come after you.

He will come.

He's coming.

He's here!

Raja. Here come's my Raja.

Charles, do you know who he is?

Who?

He's my son you stole from the hospital.

This is called 'Twins’.

He's my brother... from the same mother.

What?

He beat me up. He really beat me up.

Raja, there's no one left. Let him go. He will die. Please.

Get lost.

For God Sake, please.

Take your father and brother and leave. And Nandu absolutely free.

- Uncle, what are you saying? - Alex! Your uncle is absolutely right.

He's gone berserk. Can't you see?

He's united with his family after 20 years.

Let him go, otherwise, he will finish our family.

- Please, Raja... - Don't touch me.

Please Raja trust me please.

Take Nandu away from this cage.

Nandu, are you okay?

Come on lock it. Lock it.

Eh...

- Got you! Got you! - Where's your brother?

Oh, Malhotra.

Charles, sir. Please... please let my dad, go.

Please-Prem.

- How will you save your father now? - Brother, take your revenge.

- Why are you doing this? - Kill him.

Kill him.

Sir - Prem Prem Prem.

Why don't you save your papa? Save him.

Prem, don’t just stand there. Hit him.

Save dad.

- Hit me. - I can't do it, I cannot do it.

He cannot do it.

Why don't you come out? Hit me.

- Alex, don't touch my brother. - I won't touch him.

We'll hug him... venerate him.

- Prem hit him. - Hit him!

It's beyond my capacity, I cannot do it.

- Hit him. - Please forgive me, Please leave me.

Prem hit him. Don't be scared.

Leave you? Fine, go. Go.

Go on... Go.

Hey stop.

Raja!

Come on, get up.

Why you...

- What's happening to you? - Soon your entire family will be finished!

Look.

Your brother and your father will soon be dead. Just watch.

"Dead..." Beat him.

Get up.

Beat him.

When Raja hits him, Prem hits him.

Raja, you hit him... and Prem will hit him.

Hit him...

Hit him!

Hit him!

Eh, idiot...

Wow...

- Are you having fun? - I am loving it. Give me more power.

Bro, do something else.

Hit him, hit him Raja.

Okay.

No, no...

Prem, in order to beat that Bahubaali...

we must beat Kattapa uncle.

- Nandu, what was he saying? - Got you!

I got hurt.

I'm hitting someone for the first time, this is fun.

Uncle... got you!

Wait... stop.

Run, prem. He's right behind you.

Run Milkha run!

Come on, Prem. Come on.

Wait, you rascal.

Open quickly.

Get up.

Why are you hitting me?

Have you lost it? You started all this.

But I work in this factory?

Crazy guy...

Alex, you are not a factory worker.

let me know who is the President of America?

Donald Duck or Donald Trump?

Who beat you up? Varun Dhawan or Shikhar Dhawan?

You're the security guard here, aren't you?

I am your uncle.

You've lost your memory again.

Say it once... I am your uncle.

- Doctor. - You bloody... Uncle... I am your uncle.

Come... Come, Signor Twins.

Do you want to kill me? Go ahead.

But before you kill me, you must realize...

...that your father might run out of lifelines.

You have one minute. Only 60 seconds. Save him.

Bye-bye, Malhotra.

Raja, no.

50 seconds.

Raja, Prem, you two are out of your minds.

Go away. This bomb can go off any minute.

Dad, don't mind, but...

even you turned out to be an idiot like Prem.

We met after 20 years...

I can't let you go so easily.

Prem, you're educated. Tell us what to do?

I'll check on Google.

We'll all blow up by then.

Don't worry about me, you two run away.

Dad, please!

Look, I don't know much about bombs.

But, what I do know is that...

...this color is very lucky for me. this is 'Bappa's color.

"Hail Lord Ganesha!"

Only 10 seconds left. Run!

Dad, every son's dad is safe...

...when Bappa's with him.

- Hail Lord Ganesh. - Raja, no!

No...

Raja!

Dad's safe.

- Dad's safe. - Hallelujah.

- My dad's safe. - Jesus Christ, it's a miracle.

Holy mother marry.

- What are you doing? - You don't know what I am doing?

You're being very naughty.

Where are you going? Come back, come back.

Mr. so shy.

Prem?

Prem.

Prem!

Alishka.

Oh my, God.

Sister-in-law got scared.

Sister-in-law got scared.

Sorry.

Prem!

Eh, stupid. What are you doing here?

Bro, control your speed. It's a problem for me.

Once I start... there's no stopping me. There are no halts in between.

- But, brother... - I'll just check.

Sorry, sister-in-law.

Who are you?

- Excuse me. - No-no, excuse me.

Who here likes the speaker's volume loud?

- Because my wife doesn't like bass at all. - I'm so sorry, for you and your wife.

What sorry? I left my honeymoon in between because of you.

- Raja... - You too... two-two.

And we too... also two-two.

- Twins! - Oh, my... Twins!

Original 'Twins’! You two... 'Judwaa 2' (TWINS 2)!

Are you here for your honeymoon too?

I didn't get it.

You can't get it because...

I'm in your heart, but not your mind.

In a pant, but not in a shirt.

On a cycle, but not in a car.

And listen...

In an underwear, but not in shorts.

I've got a similar stint...

I come to college, but not for lectures.

Wow.

In six packs, but not in a family pack.

How sweet.

In a bus, but not in someone's control.

He's very funny.

Well, don't just stand there...

- Let's scatter. - OK, boss.

- Listen, do you know that song? - Which one, bro?

- That's my favorite song. - Mine too.

I can perform it right now.

I love it.

Once more, bro. Please.

Ok Ok.

This is really fun, once more.

Disappeared.

Raja!

She is calling - Go... go.

You go.