Original subtitles

(HORN HONKING)

(WIND HOWLING)

NEWSCASTER ON TV: Two kinds of weather this Christmas Eve,

bad and worse.

There's some kind of bumper storm heading Ohio way tonight.

Road conditions will become extremely hazardous as the evening wears on.

But the best advice is to just stay home.

Repeat, stay home.

Any word from Mom yet?

(PHONE RINGING)

That'll be her.

I wonder where she's stuck this time.

Hi, Mom?

Lisa, I'm at a gas station in Midville.

I'm having chains put on the car.

JOEY: I'm hungry, Mom.

Okay, Joey.

I have a couple of more things that I have to do.

Uh, so, I'll be home in about an hour, okay?

Okay.

Will you be all right for a little bit till we get home?

Don't worry about a thing. Just take care of yourself and Joey,

and dinner will be ready when you get home.

Ma'am, we put on your chains.

Your chains. All right. Honey, I gotta go.

I gotta go buy Joey something to eat, okay?

Great. Bye-bye.

You didn't put these away again, Mary.

I got you a great present.

Don't ask what it is. It's a surprise.

I bet it's a new blender.

Well, then what is it?

I won't tell you.

You're a rat.

(CHUCKLING)

It's a sled.

A sled?

I thought, for a change, you might want something fun.

Oh, I think a sled's a terrific present.

I love you.

You're a rat.

(CHUCKLES)

Okay. Take it easy and watch TV

until Mom and Joey get home, okay?

Okay. Okay.

There's no need to redecorate the house or anything

before we all get back.

Are you warm? Yes.

Okay. Okay, bye.

Bye. Take care.

(WIND HOWLING)

MAN ON TV: And the top story here tonight in Cincinnati is the weather.

And here's Gail with an update.

GAIL: As of 10 p.m., the giant Canadian storm

continues to surge its way south.

Blizzard conditions are now being reported from many areas in the Midwest.

The high winds and heavy snowfall are expected to reach us

here in the Cincinnati area during the next hour.

Now, more local...

(ANTENNA CREAKING)

(WIND HOWLING)

* May we wish you the happiest Christmas

* Anyone ever knew

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

* Make your Christmas the happiest Christmas

* Anyone ever knew

* Buy your kiddy a teddy for Christmas

* $29.90 for 2

Hi.

How about a quick Christmas pizza at Capone's before I drop you home?

Jack, I don't think I could eat three pizzas.

Who said anything about three?

Well, I got two other offers.

Oh, here we go again.

The Delilah of the five-and-dime.

Ouch!

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

Mary, Mary.

Lisa, what are you doing here?

Sorry, I tried to call, but the phones are down.

Mary, you've got to come home right away.

It said on TV there's gonna be

a big blizzard hitting Cincinnati in an hour.

It's really bad.

Did Mom and Joey get home? No. Not yet.

My jeep's got four-wheel drive. I'll take you both home.

Someone should tell Barnie to close the store.

That's like saying someone should tell King Kong to get out of the jungle.

Anyway, here comes your big chance.

(GASPS) Uh-uh.

I'll come back for you as soon as he's gone, okay?

Lisa, get down under the counter.

I don't want him to see you here.

Hi, there, beautiful.

I've been watching you, uh, with the teddy bears.

What do you think you're running here, a charity bazaar?

The merchandise was faulty. There was no refund.

The customer took a punching bag in exchange and was quite satisfied.

One thing I can say for you, angel eyes,

your personal merchandise is by no means faulty,

but when I say, "push the teddy bears,"

I mean push the teddy bears. Clear?

I'm not a salesperson, Mr. Barnie.

I'm customer service, and I was doing my job.

Come here.

Doing your job is pleasing me,

which, in your case, would not be difficult. You know what I mean?

No, I don't!

You know, for a smart-looking girl, you're really pretty dumb.

Don't you know it's better business to be nice to the boss

than to some pretty stock boy with his fingers in the till?

Don't you talk to Mary like that!

What the heck is that?

That is my sister and she is absolutely right.

Mr. Barnie, I suggest that you keep your smutty thoughts to yourself

and stop making cheap accusations

about a nice guy like Jack Fenton!

Oh, yeah? Well, with your attitude,

you could be out of here real quick, you know that?

With your attitude, I could be out of here right now!

There is a blizzard out there,

it's Christmas Eve, and I'm gonna take my baby sister home.

Mary! I know, I know.

You're not a baby. You're 11 years old.

And if you had any conscience, which I know that you don't,

you'd advise all your customers

to get out of here while there's still time!

Come on, Lisa. Let's go find Jack.

What, what, you like to ruin my biggest one-day take of the year?

What, are you crazy?

It's... Yeah.

(SQUEAKING) Just like Barnie.

Fenton! To the big guy!

He's got it! Over the head.

BOTH: Two.

Come on, Jack. Let's go. What happened?

I just told King Kong what he can do with his jungle.

All right. Good for you, pal.

(CLEARING THROAT) Careful. I don't think his majesty was too happy.

Bears, bears, bears.

Uh, excuse me, everybody.

I just heard on TV there's gonna be a major snowstorm

hitting Cincinnati any minute.

It's Christmas Eve, and you should all go home while you still can.

Give me that! Give me that, you midget monster!

Nothing to worry about, folks. That was just a false alarm.

Please. Uh, come on now. It's just a little snow.

I mean, what do you expect? It's Christmas!

* Christmastime is snow time

* And in no time, it'll be Christmas again *

Congratulations, Miss Piper, on winning

the first annual Sister-of-the-Year Award.

Oh, Mary, a Mountain Master!

They're the best, and so are you.

BARNIE: Put that back, you little creep!

That's stolen property!

It costs exactly half of the salary that you owe me, Mr. Barnie.

Well, you can sue me for the other half.

Come on, Lisa.

And you two, the two of you,

you can sue me, too!

That's just what we'll do. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.

(SHOUTING) Follow me.

Free at last!

LISA: It won't reach.

Lisa, do you really like the sled?

I mean, you weren't just putting on an act back in the store, were you?

No. This is gonna be the best Christmas in the history of the world.

GEORGE: Right here in Cincinnati!

Welcome to glorious Cincinnati,

queen of Ohio's alpine ski resorts!

* I come from

ALL: * C-I-N-C-I-N-N-A-T-I

* Cincinnati

* The best town in O

* H-I-O

* Ohio, U.S.A.

LISA AND MARY: * At first they called it Cinci

* But since Cinci is so natty

* They named it Cincinnati so they say

ALL: Whoa!

JACK AND GEORGE: * Hey, the girls are pretty, pretty

* In this gritty little city

* The fellers are the feistiest I've seen

* And when it comes to ball teams

* The Reds and the Bengals Maul teams

* They knock the socks off all teams on the grid

* I mean, to argue's indefensible

* The facts are common sensible

* Since Cinci

* Is

* Invincible

* Y'all know what I mean?

* Cinci's more than merely natty

* She's Ohio's Maserati

* Cincinnati's at the center of the scene

* I mean, to argue's indefensible... *

Jack!

(SCREAMING)

Jack!

(SCREAMING)

* Toyland

* Toyland

* Toyland

* Toyland

* Toyland

* Every child's dream

* Is Toyland

* Here you'll find the magic

* Only children

* Understand

(EXCLAIMS) * Girl and boy land

* Fantasy, hope, and joy land

* Where every dream

* You ever dreamed

* In childhood is close at hand *

(SQUEALING)

(EXCLAIMS)

There's a monster in Barnaby's wedding cake!

He won't be pleased at that.

Well, he doesn't deserve a wedding cake, anyway.

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

(ALL CHATTERING)

(LISA LAUGHING)

GEORGIE: Excuse me.

Excuse me, I'm sorry.

Uh, excuse me, I'm very sorry. I'm sorry.

(LISA SCREAMS) Oh!

Excuse me.

(STUTTERING) Here, let me help you up.

I appreciate that. Thank you.

Are you hurt?

No, I don't think so.

Oh, that's good.

I'm Georgie Porgie.

Uh, chief taster at the Toyland Cookie Factory.

Here, have a, a raspberry ripple.

It'll make you feel better.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, wait.

Oh.

Oh, why are you in such a hurry?

Oh, it's terrible.

I'm going to a wedding.

What's so terrible about going to a wedding?

Excuse me. I thought they were supposed to be fun.

Not this one.

My best friend Jack's sweetheart, Mary,

is about to marry that terrible, mean, old yicko Barnaby,

but she really loves Jack.

See the house on the hill, the bowling ball?

That's Barnaby's house.

All black with three holes.

He is so evil and so bizarre.

Sometimes when he gets really angry,

he rolls his house right down the street

and knocks people over like they were ninepins.

God, this guy sounds really weird.

Why is Mary marrying this terrible old Barnaby instead of your friend?

Because Barnaby bought the mortgage on her mother's house

and said he'd throw them all out in the street if she didn't.

Well, Mary is too loyal a daughter to let that happen.

And what's even worse, Barnaby is Jack's uncle.

Boy, for a town that looks like so much fun,

this is pretty strange stuff. Oh, I tell you.

Being rotten is the only thing that makes Barnaby happy,

and being this rotten...

Why, I've never seen him in such a good mood.

Can't wait to meet him.

(BAND PLAYING)

Get on your tuffet, muffet.

Start the happy wedding song.

* Ding-dong

* Ding-dong

* Ding-dong

* Ding-dong

* May we wish you the happiest marriage

* Anyone ever knew

* May the years to come

* Become the best years

* Ever for you

(HUMMING)

(WHISPERING) There's Jack.

If Jack loves Mary so much,

why don't they just elope?

Because there's nowhere to elope to.

It's just that Toyland is surrounded by the Forest of the Night,

the scariest place anywhere.

And even if there were somewhere to elope, Mary daren't,

because of what Barnaby might do to her.

I mean, we're talking serious villain here.

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

All right, they're coming.

That's Barnaby

with his two goons, Zack and Mack.

But Mary's so young and pretty.

She can't possibly marry a hideous creature like that.

I told you it was a terrible wedding.

(ZACK AND MACK GROWLING)

Don't be a silly-billy.

(GROWLING)

Would you both please step forward?

(GROWLING)

Dear friends and neighbors,

as justice of the peace of Toyland,

it falls within my power

to join this handsome couple...

Mmm, well, anyway, uh,

this couple in matrimony.

Sadly, our beloved Toymaster cannot be with us.

Who's the Toymaster?

Oh, he's the most wonderful man in the whole world.

Everybody loves him.

But he did send the following message

to the happy couple.

If he's so wonderful,

how can he let this wedding go on?

"I want the...the two young people both to know

"that somehow or other

"true love will always win through."

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

Mary Contrary,

do you take this man, Barnaby,

to be your husband, for better, for worse,

through good times and bad, forever and ever

as long as you shall live?

For bad times and worse,

I do.

Barnaby Barnicle,

do you take Mary here to be your bride,

to have and protect,

as long as you both shall live?

I do, I do. I absolutely, yes. I do.

In that case, I now pronounce you...

But she doesn't love him!

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

Who said that?

(ALL MUTTERING)

LISA: I did!

She loves Jack.

And she really shouldn't be marrying you.

Oh.

Well, whoever you are,

this is none of your business.

Oh, Mary, you're really making a very big mistake.

(WHISPERING) Lisa, you should come with me.

And, Mrs. Hubbard, you should be ashamed.

Forcing your poor daughter

to go and live in a bowling ball

just to pay your mortgage.

If you know what's good for you, you little troublemaker,

you'll keep your lip zipped.

This impostor is not a citizen of Toyland.

This is an invader. Get rid of her!

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

(ZACK AND MACK GROWLING)

Let go of me. You don't scare me.

(GRUNTING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

Who are you?

I'm Lisa Piper, and I'm from Cincinnati.

Cinciwhatski?

You don't scare me, Mr. Barnicle.

Let go of me.

Well, whoever you are, you will regret the day

you ever set foot in Toyland.

(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)

(GRUNTS)

Let's hear it for Lisa!

(MUSIC PLAYING) ALL: Hooray!

* Let's hear it for the girl of the hour

ALL: Hooray!

* Let's hear it for the girl of the day

(ALL WHOOPING)

* Let's cheer until the rafters echo

* And after the echo has died away

* We still will say

* Let's hear it for the folks who love freedom

* We need 'em every day

* Let's hear it for the girl of the week

* Let's hear it till the rafters groan and creak

* Let's hear it for the girl of the month

* No, more than a month, the whole year

* We're glad that you made it here, my dear

* Hear, hear

* Hear, hear

* Hear, hear

* Let's hear it for the girl of the week

* Let's hear it till the rafters groan and creak

Cinciwhatski?

(GROWLING)

All right.

* Let's hear it for the girl of the month

* No, more than a month, the whole year

* We're glad that you're really here, my dear

* Hear, hear

* Hear, hear

* Hear, hear

(BARNABY GRUNTING)

BARNABY: Darn!

Zack.

Mack.

We'll let that obnoxious

Cinciwhatski meddler enjoy her coach ride,

but it's nothing compared to the ride

she's gonna get before I'm through with her!

But, first,

we have a few other fish to fry.

(SQUAWKING)

I think it's time to look into your eyes, sweet Trollog.

Show me what my little friends are up to.

Show me what I need to know

so I can make certain everyone gets what they deserve.

(TROLLOG SQUAWKING)

(BARNABY CHUCKLING)

JACK: That's the Forest of the Night.

Stay away from there, Lisa.

GEORGIE: Because it's filled with nightmare creatures

and scary monsters.

LISA: Oh, Georgie, that's just Barnaby trying to put you on.

JACK: I should've become keeper of the cookie factory

when my father died.

But Barnaby got a law passed

saying I had to be 21 and married.

So by noon next Wednesday,

Jack has to be standing on the steps of town hall married to someone,

but I'm not saying any names, Mary Contrary,

in order to get the job.

And if he's not?

Then as my father's brother, Barnaby becomes keeper for life.

Remind me, beloved Trollog,

to extend a very special invitation

to young Miss Lisa Cinciwhatski.

(LAUGHING)

Come! We have business at the cookie factory.

(WHISTLE BLOWING)

(BLOWING WHISTLE)

Cookie break!

(ALL CHEERING)

(ALL CHATTERING)

Open it!

Open it, open it. One, two, three.

Now, hurry! Hurry!

(LAUGHING)

(GRUNTING)

Oh, I like it.

Come on.

(LAUGHING)

This is just the beginning, my beauties,

the beginning of Barnaby's master plan

that will take care of Jack, his plans, his marriage,

and his friends.

Yes!

One week from today,

and everything will be mine!

(LAUGHING)

But I thought it was the old woman who lived in a shoe.

It was.

She had so many children, she had to move into a pair of boots,

and we bought this one from her. Oh, really?

MARY: Mom!

Mom, this is Lisa.

Hi, Mrs. Hubbard.

You know, I forget most things,

but in your case, I'm going to try and make an exception.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Hubbard, but my mama always taught me to do the right thing,

and that's what I did.

(SCOFFS)

This is Wee Willie Winkie.

Hi.

Peter Piper. Ma'am.

HUBBARD: Jack and Jill. Hi.

Hello.

Little Boy Blue.

Hello.

Jack Horner.

Hello. Hello.

I forget who this one is,

but you'll get to know all of them.

Oh, now.

Mary Contrary, I have something to say to you. Now, what is it?

Yes. Number 11.

"How dare you not marry that nice, rich Mr. Barnaby?"

Now you know perfectly well why not, Mother.

Because I don't love him.

I love Jack.

And I've got Lisa to thank for saving me from making a terrible mistake.

I think that we've had this discussion before,

but I'm not sure. Let me check.

I know I had something else I wanted to add.

Yes. Number 16.

"Why don't you keep your business out of other people's noses?"

I think I wrote that down wrong, but you know what I mean?

Mrs. Hubbard, I think the same as your Toymaster.

When two young people love each other,

they should be allowed to be together.

Oh! I will not allow such radical thinking in my shoe.

And a mature man of the world like Mr. Barnaby

should be free to marry a more elegant, glamorous

woman of the world such as yourself.

She talks a lot of sense, that girl, hmm?

I mean, that's not a half-bad idea.

One thing is for sure,

he's got to marry one of us or we're out in the street.

Oh, don't worry, Mrs. Hubbard.

I'm sure we'll find one way or another for you to keep your house.

Oh, I had an idea about that today, too.

Yes, number 23. "Sell the children."

What?

Well, not all of them.

Just a couple of the little ones, no?

No, Mama.

Okay.

Cross that out.

It was just an idea.

Oh, wow! What nifty, little cars.

Can I drive the pink one?

Well, sure. Can your feet reach the pedal?

I'll try it and see.

Yes. Just.

Ah, well.

That's the only requirement for a Toyland driver's license.

LISA: There must be so many great things to do in Toyland.

My only problem would be having enough hours in the day.

That's not a problem. It's always daylight here.

Mmm-mmm!

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

Hello, Mary. Hi, Lisa.

Hi, Georgie.

Wow!

Oh, neato!

What delicious smells!

I'm starving.

Well, that is the best way to come to the cookie factory.

(CHUCKLES)

What do you say to a big kiss?

Hello, big kiss.

You again, Cinciwhatski!

Out the door, or into the flour grinder.

Which shall it be?

Uh, I think maybe out the door sounds better.

Lisa's welcome here anytime she likes

whether you like it or not.

Until next Wednesday, she may be,

but after next Wednesday,

it's over for all of you.

We'll see about that next Wednesday.

(SIREN BLARING)

(LAUGHING)

(TRAIN HORN BLARING)

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

Justice Grimm!

You've arrived just in time. Thank heaven. Mmm.

Arrest that man.

Georgie Porgie?

No, imbecile. The other one.

Your nephew?

Yes, him!

What are you trying to pull now, Barnaby?

You want me to arrest your own nephew?

That's what I said.

On what grounds? What is all this?

Justice Grimm,

I regret to have to report a major robbery.

Six months' inventory is missing,

involving millions, many millions of cookies.

It is a totally ruthless, unscrupulous act

completely devoid of all moral and social conscience.

It's also a lie. An out and out lie!

Justice Grimm,

if you would be kind enough to follow me.

Yes, please.

There.

There!

Thousands of boxes of cookies,

gone!

Who is responsible for their safekeeping?

I... I am, but...

Then I'm afraid this doesn't look too good for you, young man.

(SOBBING)

I'm sorry.

It's just the thought of all those poor, little teddy bears going hungry is too much.

I'm sorry. I have no alternative.

Justice Grimm, you're making a big mistake!

You're really locking up the wrong person.

Just what exactly are the charges?

Suspicion of grand cookie larceny.

Get in!

BARNABY: Thank you, Justice Grimm.

This is a very painful moment for me.

My own nephew, a criminal.

I'll be down to file formal charges in about three minutes.

(SIREN WAILING)

Jack!

Oh, no! What are we gonna do?

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

Jack.

What are you doing here?

I've come to get you out.

Lisa and Georgie are with Justice Grimm now.

Oh, he won't let me out. He's too afraid of Barnaby.

I know, so we've planned a jailbreak.

I just know Jack Nimble is innocent, your honorship.

He wouldn't steal a cookie from a baby,

let alone a whole factory full.

Well, I'm sorry,

but that's the way the cookie factory crumbles.

(CHUCKLES) Little joke.

Justice Grimm.

Hmm? Hmm?

Has anybody ever told you about Cincinnati?

Nope. Why should they?

What are Cincinnatis anyway?

Some kind of Italian cookie?

I've never eaten any.

LISA: No, you don't eat them.

Cincinnati is a place,

a very amazing, magical city.

Hey.

Georgie? I don't believe it.

Neither do I.

I'm not exactly cut out to be a hero.

Ah, they could cut about three heroes out of you, old buddy.

Tell Lisa. Come on, let's go.

...and this guy, Pete Rose,

hit the ball 4,192 times,

and all the people stood up and cheered

and made him the king of Cincinnati.

I'll bet they did!

That's amazing! That's absolutely amazing!

Well, I really must be going now.

But could I at least say goodbye to Jack?

Of course, of course.

I'm only sorry this unpleasant incident...

The keys!

He's gone!

He's gone! What are you doing?

I'm locked in!

I'm sorry, sir, but that's the way the cookie kingdom crumbles.

Ha, ha. Little joke. Bye.

A little joke.

Let me out!

Jack, we gotta stop Barnaby somehow.

I just know he wants to take over all of Toyland.

The Toymaster would never let that happen.

He let Barnaby put Jack in jail.

Yeah, but the Toymaster doesn't know about that.

Well, don't you think it's time he did?

JACK: Yes, the Toymaster! The Toymaster!

It's that wretched, interfering Cinciwhatski brat again!

(SQUAWKING) I think it's time I invited her

and her friends over to play with my little pets!

(BARNABY CACKLING)

JACK: Come on, guys.

Wow! He must be a pretty important person,

the Toymaster.

Well, let's put it this way.

I don't think Santa Claus would let just anybody make all the toys

for all the children in the world, do you?

LISA: No.

(CHUCKLING) Oh, come in. Come in.

You must excuse the mess.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Well, well, well. Hello.

Toymaster, this is our new friend Lisa.

She comes here from a place called Cinci...

Cinci...

Cinci... Cinci...

Cincinnati. I know about that.

You must be quite proud of Pete Rose.

Toymaster.

Toymaster.

We don't know what to do with the eyes.

Oh! Eyes?

Well, um, here.

Eye...

(ELVES EXCLAIMING)

(CHUCKLING)

That's better.

Now she can see and dance and smile.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Huh, Lisa?

What's in those cabinets over there?

Something wonderful. Wonderful.

Toymaster.

(CHUCKLING)

Oh, you're right. They are wonderful.

(CHUCKLES) Yes.

They're my pride and joy.

Ah, but sadly, wooden soldiers aren't much in demand anymore.

Children's tastes have changed.

It's appalling.

Toymaster, we've got to talk to you.

Really, sir. For the sake of Toyland.

Well, yes? I'm listening.

(BARNABY EXCLAIMING)

Barnaby accused Jack of being a thief.

Yes, stealing cookies from the cookie factory.

And then Justice Grimm put Jack in jail.

And then we just got him out.

Zoom in, Trollog.

Barnaby. He's always been a handful.

Even as a child.

Handful? He's major league rotten.

I'm going to let you in on a little secret, children.

Actually, a very big secret.

A secret I've never shared with anyone before.

What secret?

(EXCLAIMS)

I've been collecting the evil of the world.

You have?

Yes. I seek it out and I isolate it.

I extract it, and then I distill its essence

and I seal it in here.

Boy, would Barnaby like to get his hands on that.

Don't worry, Georgie Porgie, you great fat lump!

(TROLLOG SQUAWKING)

Barnaby will.

I knew that old wizard was up to something,

and he's been doing it all for Barnaby.

(SQUAWKING)

You can't collect all the evil in the world.

There's no bottle big enough for that, of course.

But there's room enough in this one for Barnaby's.

And somehow we'll get it.

Do you really think you can do that?

Of course, my child.

There's no doubt about it.

It won't be easy.

You simply have to believe that they are possible.

Georgie, where did you get that cookie?

Uh, I found it on the floor of the cookie factory.

There were just two left.

I thought they might be evidence.

Georgie, you're eating evidence.

Georgie's right. They are evidence.

If you can show us exactly where you picked those cookies up, Georgie,

I'll guarantee you there's another clue close by,

and we're gonna find it. Come on.

Nice meeting you, Toymaster.

We'll let you know what happens.

All right. Keep in touch, eh, children?

LISA: Okay.

Now, what was I doing?

Oh, yes, Christmas.

(GROWLING)

(GRUNTING)

Come on, you guys. Hurry up.

GEORGIE: Coming, coming, coming, coming.

We've got to find where those boxes of cookies went.

They couldn't have just vanished into thin air.

Georgie, I want you to show me exactly where you picked those two cookies up.

Okay, right this way. Okay.

I'll search Barnaby's office. Great.

There?

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Jack, is this a clue?

Jack?

(WHISPERING) Jack?

(EXCLAIMS)

Trollog.

(SQUAWKING)

Dear Trollog.

* I want to share with you, dear boy

(SQUAWKING)

* The evil scheme that fills my heart with joy

* Its evil theme will never cease

* 'cause I have created

* A monsterpiece

* I've put in years of toil and strife

* To bring the all-time evil dream to life

* You'll see my evil powers increase

* They've all underrated

* My monsterpiece

You see, Trollog,

the dream is about to be fulfilled.

Today, Toyland, tomorrow, the world!

(TROLLOG SQUAWKING)

* I have this rendezvous with fate

* So much more evil to create

* So little love

* And so much hatred

* To release

* We won't tell the police

* The best is yet to be unfurled

* The day my special evil

* Rules the world

* Horrendous spiky monsters

* Curl around my feet

(HOLLERS)

* How sweet

* I'll lie and kill and steal and cheat

* To make my evil life complete

* I'll build a world with no more toys

* Pure hell for little girls and boys

* Those gap-toothed, grubby little geese

(BARNABY LAUGHING)

(SQUAWKING)

* I'm creating

* A monsterpiece

All right, boys, get the others. You know what to do.

What about the others, Barnaby?

Oh, Jack, I always like to make plans for my friends.

If you so much as lay one finger on Mary, I'll...

Ah, oh, no, no, no. You know me better than that.

You know what I think?

I think what you really want is to destroy Toyland!

On the contrary.

I plan to own it.

And when I do,

there'll be some very interesting changes.

Over my dead body!

If necessary, yes.

Everything Lisa warned us about you is true.

Oh, I hope so.

You run this rotten, evil forest,

and you stole all those cookies to discredit me

and feed things like that!

(SQUAWKING)

Look into my sweet Trollog's eye.

In a few moments,

Mary will start searching near the trap door.

All I have to do is signal Zack and Mack

to gag her, bring her down here.

For an evil person, I'm really very well-organized,

don't you think?

(CHATTERING)

LISA: Yes?

(SCOFFS) You?

Well, hello, Mr. Barnaby.

Where's my darling Mary?

Oh, I'm afraid she's not at home.

She'll be so sorry to have missed you.

I brought these lovely flowers for her.

(GASPING) Oh, they're beautiful!

I'll be sure to tell her.

She's gonna be really thrilled.

I don't know what it is about you, Mr. Barnaby,

but you sure know how to charm the ladies.

I do?

Well, yes. Of course, I do.

Not only have you got Mary thinking twice,

but you've got her mother, Mrs. Hubbard,

all jealous about it.

You sure are a devil with the ladies, Mr. Barnaby.

Bye.

Anybody interesting?

Yes, yes.

These are for you.

For me? Yes.

Well, they're lovely. Who sent them?

Mr. Barnaby Barnicle.

He admires you very much,

but he just doesn't know how to tell you.

That dear, sweet, shy, foolish boy.

He can tell me anytime he wants.

Pick up my... Thank you. Thank you.

(HORN HONKS)

He's come back for me!

Oh, no, it's only fatty.

The answer is no.

Wherever Jack is, he's not in Toyland.

I've looked everywhere. He's just not here.

Uh, he has to be.

He wouldn't just leave Mary.

Well, he's gone, Lisa. Believe me.

I know every foot of Toyland and he's just not here.

There's one place we haven't looked.

Where?

The bowling ball.

I... I've got a hunch about it.

Let's go.

Lisa, this is crazy.

Nobody's ever been inside Barnaby's house before.

It could be very dangerous.

Don't wimp out now, Georgie.

I'll go. I'm not scared. I'm not a child.

No, I'll search it. You two stand guard.

But wait a minute, something could... I'm sorry, Lisa,

but it's time I did something besides cry.

He's not here!

(SCREAMING)

(MARY SCREAMING)

Mary!

I thought I'd never see you again.

Oh, Jack! Hold me. Just hold.

Enjoy yourselves, my dears.

This is the last time you'll ever touch one another.

Where are we?

What is this terrible place?

Well, it may not be everybody's taste,

but we call it home.

Don't we, sweet Trollog?

(SQUAWKING)

(MONSTERS GROWLING)

Ah, you two are the very first to see it.

My newest creation.

Toymaster, for once I think there's something

more important than a new toy.

Jack and Mary have both disappeared

and the way things are looking,

we could all end up disappearing.

Oh, my poor Lisa.

I can see that you're very upset.

Yes, I am, very,

and this is no time for anybody to be playing with toys.

Not even you.

We'll just have to manage, eh?

Toymaster, I don't think you really realize what's going on in Toyland.

The whole place is in great danger

and you must do something right away. You really must.

Well, what exactly did you have in mind?

Well, for instance, don't you have the power

to turn Barnaby into a... A wind-up pussycat or something?

I mean, I don't think you realize how evil he is.

Oh, but what if there's still some good inside of him?

There's no good in Barnaby, sir.

Lisa, I'm afraid that's not precisely true.

The struggle between good and evil goes on inside of everyone.

(SQUAWKING) Not in me, old man!

Zack! Mack!

GEORGIE: Lisa, be careful! Run! Get out of here!

Get out!

(SCREAMING) No! Be careful!

Leave me alone!

Come on, get back here.

Please!

(SCREAMING) Please!

Toymaster. Lovable, little Toymaster.

Don't you hurt the Toymaster!

(IMITATING GEORGIE) Don't hurt the Toymaster.

(GROANS)

(SQUAWKING)

This is a great moment.

For you, maybe.

(EXCLAIMING)

It's mine.

It's all mine.

Oh!

The beautiful flask of evil!

You don't need anymore evil, Barnaby.

You've got enough of your own.

Barnaby Barnicle, don't you dare touch a hair on that child!

I'm not a child.

You're wrong, my interfering, little Cinciwhatski.

I will use every ounce of evil

the Toymaster has so kindly been collecting for me.

Every last drop.

Barnaby, what is it exactly that you want?

Didn't Santa Claus bring you enough toys last Christmas?

(GRUNTS) Get off!

I don't want toys, you old imbecile!

I want Toyland!

(SQUAWKING)

Barnaby, you are a taker in the land of giving.

Don't you realize you can never conquer Toyland?

Never.

(CACKLING)

We will see about that, old man.

They're all yours, Trollog.

Enjoy your little treat.

(LAUGHING)

How do you stop this little creature?

GEORGIE: Toymaster, help us! What are we gonna do?

I would suggest we try and escape.

(LISA SCREAMING)

Ouch! Stop it! stop it!

(SCREAMING)

I'll get him to bite the rope!

TOYMASTER: Watch your hands, my child.

GEORGIE: Good! Great job!

Help me now!

(SQUAWKING)

Stay away from me!

(GROANING) Help!

Ow! Watch out! Oh!

(MUMBLING)

GEORGIE: Get away!

We'll paint his eye out.

Barnaby's little beauty.

GEORGIE: What if somebody comes?

Georgie, the trunk.

LISA: Here, Trollog. Hey, Trollog.

Trollog! Here, Trollog. Trollog, come here.

Here, Trollog.

Trollog, here. Over here, Trollog.

Right here.

Push him in! Yes!

(CHUCKLING)

(SIGHING)

Lisa, you and Georgie must find a way

to get the flask of evil back.

Why us?

What? Well, because I'm old, and you are young.

And the challenge of protecting good from evil

eventually always falls to the young,

even here in Toyland.

This is how we protect our traditions.

In that case, we'll get that flask back for you.

No matter what we have to do, we'll get it back.

Ah, Georgie, you are a very brave fellow.

LISA AND GEORGIE: We're okay.

(CREATURES GROWLING)

I'm really not frightened, Lisa.

LISA: You're not, Georgie?

(EXCLAIMING)

(LISA SCREAMING)

(GEORGIE GROANING)

Georgie! Lisa!

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

A-ha!

Welcome. We've been expecting you.

I wish we could say we are glad to be here.

I'd watch my manners if I were you, Cinciwhatski.

Now that I have this

and my loyal legion of lovely pets waiting.

He's got trolls. Hundreds of ugly trolls.

Who ate all the cookies.

Yes.

And just one small dose of these precious evil vapors,

and they will be unconquerable.

(GROWLING)

I'll be master of Toyland.

You're the monster of Toyland, Barnaby.

How could you ever wish evil on the most wonderful place that ever existed?

You're insane!

Well, yes!

Now, I want you all to try it.

You'll like it.

And it was you, Cinciwhatski,

who cost me my beloved Trollog,

so I've decided to turn you into him.

Look, Uncle Barnaby,

if you want the factory, take it.

Just don't harm my friends.

Oh, Jack. Just a few whiffs of this

and you will all become Barnaby's servants.

You will all become creatures of evil.

(CACKLING)

Be my guests.

Don't breathe it! Just don't breathe it!

Well, what are we supposed to breathe, Jack?

I thought you loved Mary.

I'll love her even more as my troll princess.

(BARNABY LAUGHING)

You will be my favorites, my new favorites.

(LAUGHING)

(SNEEZING) And now I'll go get my other little pets,

so you all can meet each other.

(LAUGHING)

(ALL COUGHING)

(GRUNTING)

BARNABY: Zack! Mack!

Don't give in to it. Fight it!

Mary, don't give in to it. Fight it! You mustn't!

Jack, Georgie, don't breathe it!

Just don't breathe it! Just fight it! You must!

You, too, Lisa.

(SCREAMING)

Nothing's happening to me.

I guess I'm immune 'cause I'm from Cincinnati.

Yes, Cincinnati!

Sing a song with me. It will help keep your minds straight.

(SCREAMS)

* I come from

* C-I-N-C-I-N-N-A-T-I

* Cincinnati

* The best town in O-H-I-O

* Ohio, U.S.A.

(HUMMING)

Come on! The Toymaster says there's good and evil in all of us.

Hold on to the good inside of you.

* Cincinnati

LISA AND JACK: * They named it Cincinnati, so they say

* Hey

* The girls are pretty, pretty in this gritty little city

* The fellers are the feistiest I've seen

Mary, we love you!

(MARY MUMBLING) Come on!

* The Reds and the Bengals Maul teams

* They knock the socks off all teams on the grid

* I mean, to argue's indefensible

* The facts are common sensible

Come on, Georgie!

(GEORGIE MUMBLING) Georgie!

Come on, Georgie!

Come on, Georgie!

(MUMBLING)

ALL: * Y'all know what I mean?

* Cinci's more than merely natty

* She's Ohio's Maserati

* Cincinnati's at the center of the scene *

I told you Cincinnati was a great place.

(GROWLING)

Oh, no! Quick, they're coming.

Uh, uh, act like monsters. It's our only chance.

(ALL GROWLING)

Master, master.

Three roars for our wonderful master.

(ROARING)

Excellent.

Now you are free to join the other troll comrades.

Throw up the latch.

(SNARLING)

Ah, Mary!

Okay, gang. Let's move.

(LISA SCREAMING)

Come on, Mary.

LISA: Mary, run! Quick!

All right.

I tried to do things nicely.

But no! Now it's war!

You hear me?

Now it's war!

We've got to reach Toyland first.

Come on! Come on!

All right. Stop.

(SNIFFING)

(CACKLING)

I smell sugar and spice and everything nice.

I smell Cinciwhatski, and we're very close.

Follow me. Come with me!

Cinciwhatski, Barnaby is coming for you.

(MARY AND LISA EXCLAIMING)

Ready?

Come on, Lisa.

Ready?

LISA: Whoa! Yeah.

Come on, Georgie. Come on, Georgie.

You're a hero now.

LISA: Come on!

JACK: You gotta do it!

Georgie, you've got to. Come on!

Jack, they're coming!

I can't!

Come on, Georgie! Jack, they're gaining.

JACK: You can do it! Come on!

JACK: Come on.

LISA: Yeah, but quick! They're gaining on us.

Hurry! Hurry!

Hurry!

Hurry up, guys.

Come on, Lisa.

Come on, hurry.

JACK: Come on, Georgie!

I'm coming.

Let's go.

JACK: We've got to warn everybody.

MARY: Now, the Toymaster's our only hope.

That's what I'm afraid of!

He's a man of peace and this is war, Mary!

This could be the end of Toyland!

(GRUNTING)

I'll smack the smiles off their face.

I'll kick the giggles out of their heart.

No more!

No more being subtle!

We'll get 'em!

(HORN BLOWING) Get out of here!

BARNABY: There!

There they are!

There, Mack!

There! Zack! Mack!

(SCREAMING)

Get the little one! I want her!

I want the little one!

Cinciwhatski, she's mine!

(SCREAMING)

You keep away from Lisa!

All right, Jack.

This time you won't escape.

I'll get you, too. You can't walk...

I'll get you, Jack.

You creepy, ugly yicko!

Go after them.

I'll get Cinciwhatski! Go!

Death to Cinciwhatski!

(CHATTERING)

You idiots!

Not me, you fools. Get the others!

What do you think you're doing?

Get it out of here, you nitwit!

Get out! Go! Go! Go!

That way! There!

Get out of here, I'm telling you!

Go now! Get to them!

(MUTTERING)

(CRASHING)

(MUMBLING)

(ZACK AND MACK GRUNTING)

(MONSTERS GROWLING)

Zack! Mack!

Let them out.

Open the door.

This is it.

(LAUGHING)

Open it. Open it! Open it!

(LAUGHING)

Ah, welcome to Toyland.

Yes, it's all yours.

Come, my beauties.

Hurt the nice people.

Yes.

Barnaby is attacking Toyland.

His monsters will take control of everything.

Toymaster, don't just stand there.

You've got to do something.

I'm afraid there's nothing I can do.

JACK: There's gotta be something.

I have only toys here.

Toys cannot protect us from anything

as long as there is one person within these walls

who can't believe in them.

Who doesn't believe in toys?

There is one person who was never really a child.

Life made her grow up too fast.

It must be you, Lisa.

Me?

You're always saying, "I'm not a child."

And I guess, maybe you never have been.

I think that he's right, Lisa.

Lisa, listen to me.

I'm not the one who can save Toyland.

You are.

Only you.

But what do I have to do?

Believe in Toyland

and all that it stands for.

* If you can see through the eyes of a child

* The wonderful world that children see

* Believe you me, you will never grow old

* You will always be free to be beguiled

* If you can think with the mind of a child

* Believe and be lost in fantasy

* Believe you me, that's more precious than gold

* You will always hold in your childlike mind

* Precious dreams other folks don't find

* If you, like me

* Can think and see

* Through the wandering

* Wondering

* Eyes and mind

* Of a child

Do you want to believe, Lisa?

Yes, I do, more than anything.

I guess life just made me grow up too fast.

Although, I do still have my teddy.

I kept teddy.

Did you hear that everybody? She kept her teddy!

Yes, I kept my teddy and I miss him.

Then you do still remember how important toys can be, Lisa.

Say that you really remember, Lisa.

MARY: Remember, Lisa.

Say that you remember. Say you truly remember.

Yes, I do remember.

Toyland has made me remember.

I always wanted to be a kid.

I always wanted to play with toys.

I believe in all of you.

And I am still just a kid.

I really am.

(MONSTERS GROWLING) The monsters are coming!

(BELL RINGING) The monsters are coming!

The monsters are coming!

The monsters are coming!

I believe in you, toy soldiers.

Don't you see? I believe in you.

I believe in you and all of the toys.

And all of Toyland. I really do!

Out, everybody!

(ALL CLAMORING) The monsters are coming!

Out! The monsters are coming!

(CHATTERING)

(GROWLING)

(SCREAMING)

(CACKLING) Zack! Mack!

(SCREAMING)

Destroy it!

(LAUGHING)

(GRUNTING)

(GROANING)

(SCREAMING)

Help! Help!

Cut the monsters off at the end of Hopscotch Lane!

Drive them into the forest!

With courage, they can be beaten!

They will be beaten!

Go! Go!

Go! Go! Barnaby loves you! Go!

Go!

(CROWD CHEERING)

Come on, children!

Come on, hurry!

(ZACK AND MACK GRUNTING)

(ALL BOOING)

(GRUNTING)

You!

So pretty, so nice!

Now, you'll come with me and be my Trollog!

(LISA SCREAMING) Jack!

(LAUGHING)

Not quite yet, Uncle Barnaby.

(SCREAMING)

(GRUNTING)

(CHOKING)

Jack not be nimble.

Jack be dead. Jack...

(BARNABY GRUNTING)

(GROANS)

It was Barnaby who made you monsters evil.

He's the one to blame for this horrible mess.

No one else!

I'm still gonna get you, Cinciwhatski brat!

I'm gonna get you!

Barnaby Barnicle,

you still haven't learned, have you?

For your evil against Toyland,

you are hereby banished into the Forest of the Night, forever.

You can't do that to me.

You can't!

I don't control them anymore!

Officer.

Halt!

Toy soldiers! You brainless idiots!

Stop!

Move! Attack! Get...

(SCREAMING)

(ALL CHEERING)

Toyland is finally free of evil.

You've done it, Lisa.

Me?

Yes. You remembered the eternal dream of childhood.

You believed! You set the toy soldiers free.

(ALL CHEERING)

CHOIR: * Ding-dong, ding-dong

* Ding-dong, ding-dong

* May we wish you

* The happiest marriage

* Anyone ever knew

* May the years to come

* Become the best years

* Ever for you

* From today

* Till forever

* May fate never be unkind

* May you find

* Health and happiness

* Warmth and happiness

* Peace of mind

* May all mankind

* And so we wish you

* The happiest marriage

* Anyone ever knew

* May the years to come

* Become the best years

* Ever for you

* So we wish you

* The happiest marriage

* The happiest birthday

* The happiest Christmas

* May you two

* Be the happiest people

You look so beautiful. For you.

* Anyone ever knew

Do you, Mary Contrary Hubbard,

take this man, Jack Nimble Jr.,

to be your husband,

to love and cherish and give him a lot of fun and love

with your whole heart

till the end of time?

I do.

And you, Jack Nimble Jr.,

do you take the breathtaking Mary

to be your beautiful, loving wife, from this moment on,

to love and be unbelievably kind to,

to share the joys of Toyland and all your hopes and dreams with

forever and a day?

It's not long enough,

but I do.

Then by virtue of the almost unlimited power

vested in me by the Toymaster,

I now pronounce you man and wife.

(ALL CHEERING)

(WHISTLE BLOWING)

One day, I will come visit your planet, Cincinnati, hmm?

I'll be waiting.

Lisa!

What am I gonna do without you?

How can we ever thank you?

Georgie, I'll miss you.

(SIGHING)

Dear, I hate good-byes.

Toyland, I'll miss you.

I'll miss you all.

(ALL CHEERING)

Hurry, Lisa. You must leave immediately!

You know, I never really did like that Barnaby.

Would you like to come by my shoe for dinner sometime?

I'd be delighted.

Okay, nice.

But I haven't said good-bye to the Toymaster.

(CHUCKLING) Well,

we should have a nice trip, Lisa,

if you don't mind a few bumps.

Toymaster!

(ALL CHEERING)

* From today

* Till forever

* May fate never be unkind

Good-bye, Georgie! Georgie!

* May you find

* Health and happiness

* More than happiness

* Peace of mind

* May all mankind

I think we'll take the Milky Way,

all the way.

Hang on, child, and look out for the shooting stars.

(WHOOPING)

Mama.

Oh, we were so worried about you, darling.

Oh, I'm so happy to be home.

Where's little Joey?

Oh, now, Lisa, stop acting like a mother.

He's upstairs sleeping,

warm and toasty in his little bed.

We're just so happy that you're all right.

Oh, Mary, Jack and George,

you're all here.

I'm so happy to see everybody again.

I was in this town filled with

talking toys and... And Mother Goose people

and horrible monsters tried to eat me alive.

Well, of course, they did, honey.

Oh, that reminds me, I must call the pest control people.

I'll bet Barnie from the store was the worst monster of the lot.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Oh, yes, he was. He was.

Oh, Mom,

the tree is so beautiful.

As beautiful as all the things the Toymaster taught me.

Oh, he must be a very wise man.

He was.

He taught me that it was in our hearts

that we must stay young and try to be good.

And above all, we must believe.

And then we'll always have a merry Christmas and everything, won't we?

Always and always and always.