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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 3 00:00:56,619 --> 00:00:57,732 Market reports today... 4 00:00:57,855 --> 00:01:02,165 barrows and gilts at 220 to 260 pounds are lower at $40. 5 00:01:02,425 --> 00:01:05,873 Sows are steady. 300 to 500 pounds, $34 to $37. 6 00:01:06,096 --> 00:01:09,926 Goin' over to the feeder cattle, beef steers, $120 to $150... 7 00:01:11,935 --> 00:01:12,883 The way I like to do it... 8 00:01:13,003 --> 00:01:15,938 is I take one can of cream of mushroom soup... 9 00:01:16,140 --> 00:01:17,962 and then one package of egg noodles. 10 00:01:18,108 --> 00:01:21,043 I like the egg noodles better than the Italian ones. 11 00:01:21,246 --> 00:01:22,326 I like to put... 12 00:01:25,884 --> 00:01:28,633 If we look at what the Lord said in the book of Revelation... 13 00:01:28,819 --> 00:01:31,885 you can be sure that there's a price to pay... 14 00:01:32,089 --> 00:01:36,497 for the way of the flesh and that price will be paid if you don't... 15 00:01:36,761 --> 00:01:41,202 Here's the wind-up and the pitch. 16 00:01:41,466 --> 00:01:43,506 And it's two and two, two and two... 17 00:01:52,244 --> 00:01:54,099 Before you just say, 'Honey, I think we have to have... 18 00:01:54,246 --> 00:01:56,515 'some couple's counseling. I mean, I think we have a problem. 19 00:01:56,682 --> 00:01:57,631 'I can't leave a cup here for...' 20 00:02:07,661 --> 00:02:10,082 All right. It's time for traffic on the fives... 21 00:02:10,262 --> 00:02:11,756 and let's find out what's going on with your drive. 22 00:02:11,898 --> 00:02:13,621 Let's go to Chopper. Chopper, what's happening? 23 00:02:13,766 --> 00:02:16,287 All right, Lettie. We got a fifteen-minute, uh, wait... 494. 24 00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:18,575 There's an accident working at the spaghetti junction. 25 00:02:18,739 --> 00:02:20,975 at 630, but it still will make a very slow go... 26 00:02:41,795 --> 00:02:45,690 A quiet night in a city that knows how to keep its secrets. 27 00:02:45,933 --> 00:02:50,603 But one man is still looking for the answers to life's persistent questions. 28 00:02:55,643 --> 00:02:57,236 That's me. 29 00:02:57,378 --> 00:02:59,353 Or it used to be. 30 00:02:59,515 --> 00:03:01,686 It was a rainy Saturday night in St. Paul... 31 00:03:01,916 --> 00:03:04,437 and I had just finished off a grilled cheese sandwich... 32 00:03:04,620 --> 00:03:05,929 with beans for a chaser... 33 00:03:06,054 --> 00:03:08,607 and it was time to head for work across the street. 34 00:03:20,035 --> 00:03:21,693 I'm a private eye. 35 00:03:21,837 --> 00:03:23,266 Noir's the name. 36 00:03:23,405 --> 00:03:24,867 Guy Noir. 37 00:03:25,008 --> 00:03:28,870 But I'd taken temporary employment about six years before... 38 00:03:29,111 --> 00:03:34,098 doing security for a radio show called A Prairie Home Companion... 39 00:03:34,385 --> 00:03:37,254 on account of a serious cash-flow problem... 40 00:03:37,454 --> 00:03:41,829 due to a lack of missing heiresses and dead tycoons lying in the solarium... 41 00:03:42,092 --> 00:03:45,637 with lipstick stains on their smoking jackets. 42 00:03:45,862 --> 00:03:48,961 In other words, I was broke. 43 00:03:49,166 --> 00:03:52,908 This radio show was done out of an old theater called the Fitzgerald... 44 00:03:53,136 --> 00:03:56,268 and it had been on the air since Jesus was in the third grade. 45 00:03:56,474 --> 00:04:00,303 But it was still pulling in a few hundred people on Saturday nights. 46 00:04:00,544 --> 00:04:05,301 It was a live radio variety show, the kind that died fifty years ago... 47 00:04:05,584 --> 00:04:10,537 but somebody forgot to tell them until this night. 48 00:04:10,822 --> 00:04:14,466 A big corporation down in Texas had bought up the radio station... 49 00:04:14,693 --> 00:04:17,246 and their axeman, a guy named Cruett... 50 00:04:17,428 --> 00:04:19,916 was on his way to St. Paul to shut the thing down... 51 00:04:20,098 --> 00:04:22,487 and turn the theater into a parking lot. 52 00:04:25,670 --> 00:04:29,663 It was curtains and everybody knew it, but nobody said so. 53 00:04:29,908 --> 00:04:31,763 They were Midwesterners. 54 00:04:31,910 --> 00:04:36,034 They felt like if you ignored bad news, it might go away. 55 00:04:36,281 --> 00:04:39,729 Not my philosophy, but I'm not from here. 56 00:04:39,952 --> 00:04:41,479 Stay on the edge of the crowd. 57 00:04:41,621 --> 00:04:42,569 Keep your eyes open. 58 00:04:42,688 --> 00:04:44,728 That's my motto. 59 00:04:44,891 --> 00:04:47,957 It was my last night of gainful employment... 60 00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:51,324 and I had a feeling it was maybe going to be interesting. 61 00:04:55,935 --> 00:04:59,197 ♪ I used to work in Chicago ♪ 62 00:04:59,406 --> 00:05:02,603 ♪ At a convenience store ♪ 63 00:05:02,809 --> 00:05:05,842 ♪ I used to work in Chicago ♪ 64 00:05:06,046 --> 00:05:07,061 ♪ I did, but I don't anymore ♪ 65 00:05:07,180 --> 00:05:10,082 Ladies and gentlemen, we are now at ten minutes from broadcast, please. 66 00:05:10,285 --> 00:05:11,365 Ten minutes. 67 00:05:11,485 --> 00:05:13,274 ♪ A lady walked in with some porcelain skin ♪ 68 00:05:13,420 --> 00:05:17,381 ♪ And I asked her what she came in for ♪ 69 00:05:17,625 --> 00:05:20,625 ♪ 'Liquor,' she said, and lick her I did ♪ 70 00:05:20,828 --> 00:05:24,373 ♪ And I don't work there anymore ♪ 71 00:05:24,598 --> 00:05:26,671 Molly. 72 00:05:26,834 --> 00:05:28,143 What... OK, OK. 73 00:05:28,269 --> 00:05:29,643 Jesus, the schedule. 74 00:05:29,771 --> 00:05:31,462 Uh... 75 00:05:31,606 --> 00:05:33,101 Where's my pencil? I gotta show you some changes. 76 00:05:33,241 --> 00:05:34,190 Where's my pencil? 77 00:05:34,310 --> 00:05:35,324 I just put it down here a second ago. 78 00:05:35,443 --> 00:05:36,621 Where'd you put it last? 79 00:05:36,744 --> 00:05:37,824 I just had it here a second ago. 80 00:05:37,947 --> 00:05:39,092 Oh, it's... it's... 81 00:05:39,214 --> 00:05:40,261 Don't mess with those. 82 00:05:40,382 --> 00:05:42,237 Hey, hey, hey. Please, move that back. 83 00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:44,075 This one will make the... 84 00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:46,902 This will make the wife green-eyed with envy. 85 00:05:47,089 --> 00:05:48,583 Ooh! 86 00:05:48,724 --> 00:05:49,652 One more. 87 00:05:49,758 --> 00:05:51,613 Do you think she's coming by the studio? 88 00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:53,320 Cuddle up a little bit. There you go. 89 00:05:55,065 --> 00:05:57,170 Hey, Guy. How are you tonight? 90 00:05:57,334 --> 00:05:58,643 I need a little help from you. 91 00:05:58,767 --> 00:06:00,906 Take these Johnson Girl t-shirts. Have someone take 'em up front. 92 00:06:01,071 --> 00:06:03,591 - I'll take care of it. - Nice tie. 93 00:06:03,773 --> 00:06:05,082 Well, it's about damn time. 94 00:06:05,208 --> 00:06:06,550 The very tardy Johnson Girls. 95 00:06:06,676 --> 00:06:07,603 Hey, Al. 96 00:06:07,711 --> 00:06:08,790 Givin' me a heart attack here. 97 00:06:08,911 --> 00:06:11,399 What is this? Rewrites? 98 00:06:11,581 --> 00:06:13,370 What's wrong with the old script? 99 00:06:13,516 --> 00:06:14,443 How does that feel? 100 00:06:14,551 --> 00:06:16,177 Give me a little sound effects on that one. 101 00:06:16,319 --> 00:06:19,036 Ladies and gentlemen, we are now at six minutes to broadcast. 102 00:06:19,222 --> 00:06:20,782 Six minutes from broadcast, please. 103 00:06:20,924 --> 00:06:22,004 That's the... that's the... 104 00:06:22,125 --> 00:06:23,849 Hey, Rich, that's that Honolulu mama... 105 00:06:23,995 --> 00:06:25,882 how she could dance in her pink pajamas... 106 00:06:26,029 --> 00:06:28,069 when she took off her Oahu Oahu Oahu. 107 00:06:28,232 --> 00:06:30,534 No, it's an old Carter family song, right? 108 00:06:30,701 --> 00:06:31,628 A what? 109 00:06:31,736 --> 00:06:33,907 Carter family, sweetheart. 110 00:06:34,071 --> 00:06:36,210 Just like us, only famous. 111 00:06:37,107 --> 00:06:38,384 Now, how long you been doin' this? 112 00:06:38,509 --> 00:06:40,876 Doin' what? Puttin' my pants on? 113 00:06:41,045 --> 00:06:42,606 How long you been doin' radio? 114 00:06:42,748 --> 00:06:44,438 Oh. 115 00:06:44,582 --> 00:06:47,004 I don't know. Thirty-some years, I guess. 116 00:06:47,185 --> 00:06:50,152 Started out in Mark Twain Days, Mississippi River... 117 00:06:50,355 --> 00:06:52,624 and they hired me to play Huck Finn. 118 00:06:52,790 --> 00:06:56,434 I was running a raft on the Mississippi... 119 00:06:56,662 --> 00:06:59,629 and carrying people across, and, uh... 120 00:06:59,831 --> 00:07:02,220 it ran into the wake of a steamboat. 121 00:07:02,402 --> 00:07:04,409 Mr. Keillor? We need you on stage. 122 00:07:04,569 --> 00:07:05,496 Fine. I'm right there. 123 00:07:05,604 --> 00:07:08,321 Is this the story about the guy who ends up hangin' from a kite... 124 00:07:08,507 --> 00:07:10,744 bein' pulled by a boat with his shorts around his ankles? 125 00:07:10,909 --> 00:07:13,397 No. No, it's a different story about a pontoon boat. 126 00:07:13,579 --> 00:07:15,968 Oh! Look at this old house. 127 00:07:16,148 --> 00:07:17,709 Good-bye, old house. 128 00:07:17,850 --> 00:07:18,995 Good-bye, old porch. 129 00:07:19,118 --> 00:07:20,645 Good-bye, old Guy. 130 00:07:20,786 --> 00:07:25,391 Hey, Guy. What are they gonna do with this house, you think? Huh? 131 00:07:25,658 --> 00:07:27,829 I figure it had somethin' to do... 132 00:07:27,994 --> 00:07:31,060 with the dumpster that showed up yesterday. 133 00:07:31,264 --> 00:07:32,639 Oh, my God. Honey, listen. 134 00:07:32,765 --> 00:07:34,740 I brought you that cute little dress... 135 00:07:34,901 --> 00:07:36,941 I already told you, I don't like the dress. 136 00:07:37,103 --> 00:07:38,031 At least try it on. 137 00:07:38,138 --> 00:07:39,120 I want to see it on you. 138 00:07:39,239 --> 00:07:40,351 You try it on. I don't want to try it on. 139 00:07:40,474 --> 00:07:41,423 It's ugly. 140 00:07:41,541 --> 00:07:42,621 It's the color of vomit. 141 00:07:46,547 --> 00:07:47,824 Oh, sorry. 142 00:07:51,885 --> 00:07:55,201 Old man Soderberg was one of those people who was on that raft... 143 00:07:55,422 --> 00:07:59,350 and, uh, he went over the rail and into the river... 144 00:07:59,593 --> 00:08:02,310 and I went in for him 'cause he couldn't swim. 145 00:08:02,497 --> 00:08:05,399 So, I pulled him out. 146 00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:06,712 You saved his life? 147 00:08:06,834 --> 00:08:09,071 Well, not really. The river was shallow at that point... 148 00:08:09,237 --> 00:08:11,604 but he didn't know that 'cause I had hold of his ankles. 149 00:08:11,773 --> 00:08:13,334 I was towing him into shore. 150 00:08:13,475 --> 00:08:14,588 Hey! It's good to see ya! 151 00:08:14,709 --> 00:08:16,618 Four minutes from broadcast, please. 152 00:08:16,778 --> 00:08:18,087 Four minutes. 153 00:08:18,213 --> 00:08:21,061 Ooh! Hey. 154 00:08:21,249 --> 00:08:22,296 Hey. 155 00:08:22,417 --> 00:08:23,824 Wait a minute. Where's my bag? 156 00:08:23,952 --> 00:08:25,065 No, no. The bag's here. 157 00:08:25,187 --> 00:08:26,364 I brought it in. 158 00:08:26,488 --> 00:08:28,015 Mom, just look. 159 00:08:28,157 --> 00:08:29,684 Here it is. Come on, Yolanda. 160 00:08:29,825 --> 00:08:33,207 I swear to God I'm all, you know, verklempt. 161 00:08:33,429 --> 00:08:35,218 Ha ha ha ha! 162 00:08:35,364 --> 00:08:36,411 Ohh. 163 00:08:36,532 --> 00:08:37,579 Hot. 164 00:08:37,700 --> 00:08:40,635 Yeah. See? Plenty of time. 165 00:08:40,836 --> 00:08:42,691 So he gave you the job at WLT. 166 00:08:42,839 --> 00:08:43,886 Well, his brother did, actually. 167 00:08:44,006 --> 00:08:45,053 Yeah, Art Soderberg. 168 00:08:45,174 --> 00:08:46,221 G.K. to the stage, please. 169 00:08:46,342 --> 00:08:48,230 Art Soderberg gave you the job. 170 00:08:48,378 --> 00:08:49,425 Yeah, it was a... 171 00:08:49,546 --> 00:08:50,626 It was the early morning show, right? 172 00:08:50,747 --> 00:08:53,136 Rise and Shine Show. Wilmer Scott, 5 A.M.. 173 00:08:53,316 --> 00:08:54,526 Me and Dusty used to have an early mornin' show. 174 00:08:54,651 --> 00:08:55,927 Is that right? Excuse me, partner. 175 00:08:56,052 --> 00:08:57,131 Oh, yeah. Breakfast at the Bunkhouse. 176 00:08:57,254 --> 00:08:59,556 TV show. And, uh, it showed mostly... 177 00:08:59,723 --> 00:09:01,250 cartoons and stuff. Remember that? 178 00:09:01,391 --> 00:09:02,951 - Oh, yeah? - For the kids. 179 00:09:03,093 --> 00:09:06,290 Well, this was... uh, this came on at 5:00 in the morning. 180 00:09:06,497 --> 00:09:07,424 And it was... uh, like a gospel show. 181 00:09:07,531 --> 00:09:09,354 - Inspirational show. - Inspirational show. 182 00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:10,710 Wilmer Scott was the host of it. 183 00:09:10,834 --> 00:09:13,223 Wasn't Wilmer Scott the famous aviator? 184 00:09:13,404 --> 00:09:14,549 No. 185 00:09:14,672 --> 00:09:17,967 Yeah. First man to fly the length of the Mississippi solo. 186 00:09:18,175 --> 00:09:19,353 - No. - I don't think so. 187 00:09:19,477 --> 00:09:20,524 Right. 188 00:09:20,645 --> 00:09:21,954 That was his brother Wilbur Scott. 189 00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:23,159 We're now at three minutes... 190 00:09:23,281 --> 00:09:25,518 Flew from New Orleans to Memphis... 191 00:09:25,683 --> 00:09:28,203 all the way up to Minnesota to Lake Itasca. 192 00:09:28,386 --> 00:09:29,433 And when he got up there, he tried to fire a signal rocket... 193 00:09:29,554 --> 00:09:31,310 out the cockpit window, but it was closed. 194 00:09:31,456 --> 00:09:35,350 He became the first civilian pilot to shoot himself down. 195 00:09:35,594 --> 00:09:36,641 - Ugh! - No. That was Wilbur. 196 00:09:36,761 --> 00:09:37,808 - You made that story up. - Right. 197 00:09:37,929 --> 00:09:38,977 No, I'm talking about Wilmer Scott. 198 00:09:39,097 --> 00:09:41,398 Crashed into the lake at his moment of triumph. 199 00:09:41,566 --> 00:09:42,515 - No. - Wilmer. 200 00:09:42,634 --> 00:09:45,284 - Wilmer. Yeah. He was the host... - No. This was the... 201 00:09:45,471 --> 00:09:46,997 - Right. - The Rise and Shine Show. 202 00:09:47,139 --> 00:09:48,383 Rise and Shine. 203 00:09:48,507 --> 00:09:51,322 Mr. Keillor, Al's on the verge of a coronary up there. 204 00:09:51,510 --> 00:09:52,557 Yeah. I'm there. 205 00:09:52,678 --> 00:09:53,726 Now, how did he have time to fly and do radio? 206 00:09:53,846 --> 00:09:54,894 G.K., sit down. I gotta do your makeup. 207 00:09:55,014 --> 00:09:57,250 You're thinking of Wilbur Scott, see? 208 00:09:57,416 --> 00:09:58,365 Yeah. It's not the same person. Not the same person. 209 00:09:58,483 --> 00:09:59,563 - Yeah... - He was dead. 210 00:09:59,685 --> 00:10:01,758 You know, we used to have a dog in the act... 211 00:10:01,921 --> 00:10:03,830 when Wanda and Connie were in it... 212 00:10:03,990 --> 00:10:06,030 - and that dog would sing... - Ooo! 213 00:10:06,192 --> 00:10:07,337 - Ha ha! - Ha ha ha ha! 214 00:10:07,460 --> 00:10:10,275 We'd sing this old song and he would howl! Ha ha ha! 215 00:10:10,463 --> 00:10:12,154 Oh, my God, that was a dog. 216 00:10:12,299 --> 00:10:14,153 - I been thinkin' about him all day long. - Yeah. 217 00:10:14,301 --> 00:10:15,762 Rusty always comes to my mind. 218 00:10:15,902 --> 00:10:16,949 Does it? 219 00:10:17,070 --> 00:10:19,623 ♪ Go tell Aunt Gladys ♪ 220 00:10:19,806 --> 00:10:22,556 - # Go tell Aunt Gladys ♪ - That's it! 221 00:10:22,743 --> 00:10:23,725 ♪ Go tell Aunt Gladys ♪ 222 00:10:23,844 --> 00:10:25,786 ♪ The old brown dog is dead ♪ 223 00:10:25,946 --> 00:10:27,920 ♪ An old brown dog named Rusty ♪ 224 00:10:28,082 --> 00:10:30,253 ♪ An old brown dog named Rusty ♪ 225 00:10:30,417 --> 00:10:32,424 ♪ An old brown dog named Rusty ♪ 226 00:10:32,586 --> 00:10:34,691 ♪ He just laid down and died ♪ 227 00:10:34,855 --> 00:10:36,065 - Ruff! Ruff! - Right on cue. 228 00:10:36,190 --> 00:10:37,400 - It was... I mean... - Bow wow wow! 229 00:10:37,524 --> 00:10:39,117 - Ow, ow, ow! - Bark bark bark! 230 00:10:39,260 --> 00:10:40,373 - Oooowww! - How-ow! 231 00:10:40,495 --> 00:10:41,869 I don't know if we were harmonizing with him... 232 00:10:41,996 --> 00:10:43,305 or he was harmonizing with us. 233 00:10:43,431 --> 00:10:46,464 ♪ Oh, he died from chasin' squirrels ♪ 234 00:10:46,668 --> 00:10:47,715 Ladies and gentlemen... 235 00:10:47,836 --> 00:10:48,883 ♪ He died from chasin' squirrels ♪ 236 00:10:49,003 --> 00:10:50,051 This is not a test. 237 00:10:50,170 --> 00:10:51,218 ♪ He died from chasin' squirrels ♪ 238 00:10:51,339 --> 00:10:52,386 We're at two minutes from broadcast. 239 00:10:52,507 --> 00:10:54,547 ♪ He ate one and got sick ♪ 240 00:10:54,709 --> 00:10:56,399 ♪ Must've been a bad one ♪ 241 00:10:56,544 --> 00:10:57,592 - # Must've been ♪ - Ha ha! 242 00:10:57,713 --> 00:10:58,661 ♪ A bad one ♪ 243 00:10:58,780 --> 00:11:00,820 ♪ It must've been a bad one ♪ 244 00:11:00,983 --> 00:11:02,870 ♪ He just laid down and died ♪ 245 00:11:03,018 --> 00:11:05,440 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 246 00:11:05,621 --> 00:11:07,443 Oh, God! This is it! 247 00:11:07,590 --> 00:11:08,637 Oh! 248 00:11:08,757 --> 00:11:09,804 I'm going into labor! 249 00:11:09,925 --> 00:11:10,973 Oh! Uh... oh, my gosh! 250 00:11:11,093 --> 00:11:12,816 I can feel it! My baby's coming out! 251 00:11:12,962 --> 00:11:16,410 It's going to come out on this dirty make-up room floor! 252 00:11:16,632 --> 00:11:18,541 Oh! Oh! Whoa! 253 00:11:18,701 --> 00:11:19,748 Just take it easy. 254 00:11:19,869 --> 00:11:21,527 Just kidding. 255 00:11:21,671 --> 00:11:23,395 - Ohh! You... - You phony! 256 00:11:23,540 --> 00:11:25,034 Get her up out of there. 257 00:11:25,175 --> 00:11:27,542 You were fakin'? ! I was callin' 911! 258 00:11:27,711 --> 00:11:28,889 I'm sorry. They just wouldn't pay attention. 259 00:11:29,012 --> 00:11:30,866 - I had to think of something... - I'm going to work. 260 00:11:31,014 --> 00:11:32,061 - Oh! - Didn't mean to scare you, Donna. 261 00:11:32,182 --> 00:11:33,676 Wilmer Scott. 262 00:11:33,817 --> 00:11:34,929 - Let's go. - Garrison! 263 00:11:35,052 --> 00:11:36,546 Wilmer Scott was the one who hypnotized the chickens... 264 00:11:36,687 --> 00:11:38,214 - There you go. - on the show. 265 00:11:38,355 --> 00:11:40,242 He did like, what, four of those chickens in a row. 266 00:11:40,390 --> 00:11:42,397 - Four or five of them. - Who was Wilmer Scott? 267 00:11:42,559 --> 00:11:45,046 He was the host of that Rise and Shine Show. 268 00:11:45,228 --> 00:11:46,723 Early in the morning. 5 A.M.. 269 00:11:46,863 --> 00:11:48,936 That's, uh, what, uh, G.K. got started in radio. 270 00:11:49,100 --> 00:11:50,147 Right. Gospel show. 271 00:11:50,267 --> 00:11:51,477 And he hypnotized chickens on the radio? 272 00:11:51,601 --> 00:11:53,543 No, but he did the chickens on this show. 273 00:11:53,704 --> 00:11:54,752 On this show? 274 00:11:54,871 --> 00:11:55,919 Not on that Rise and Shine Show. 275 00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:57,316 OK. 276 00:11:57,442 --> 00:11:59,003 All right, let's dim the house lights. 277 00:11:59,143 --> 00:12:00,070 You remember when he did those chickens? 278 00:12:00,178 --> 00:12:01,487 - Hypnotized them? - Yep. 279 00:12:01,612 --> 00:12:02,540 Chinese chickens, right? 280 00:12:02,647 --> 00:12:03,857 Kung Pao, I believe. 281 00:12:03,982 --> 00:12:05,411 With the little... didn't they have a little... 282 00:12:05,550 --> 00:12:06,565 Here we go. Over here. 283 00:12:06,685 --> 00:12:08,375 Piscacadawadaquoddymoggin. 284 00:12:08,519 --> 00:12:09,567 Pisca what? 285 00:12:09,688 --> 00:12:11,630 The sponsor. 5 A.M.. Rise and Shine Show. 286 00:12:11,790 --> 00:12:12,717 What was it called? 287 00:12:12,824 --> 00:12:13,752 Made of buffalo grass... 288 00:12:13,859 --> 00:12:15,036 And thirty seconds to broadcast, please. 289 00:12:15,159 --> 00:12:17,396 Sassafras, and natural grain alcohol. 290 00:12:17,563 --> 00:12:18,610 What was it called? 291 00:12:18,730 --> 00:12:19,777 Piscacadawadaquoddymoggin. 292 00:12:19,897 --> 00:12:20,945 No, it's Piscacadawadaquoddymoggin. 293 00:12:21,066 --> 00:12:22,113 - Places, please. - OK. Places. 294 00:12:22,234 --> 00:12:23,281 That's what I said. 295 00:12:23,402 --> 00:12:25,027 Remember the jingle? How it went? 296 00:12:25,169 --> 00:12:29,676 ♪ Piscacadawadaquoddymoggin Medicinal Formula ♪ 297 00:12:29,942 --> 00:12:30,989 Standin' by. Here we go. 298 00:12:31,110 --> 00:12:32,834 It was what Wilmer Scott had in his coffee cup... 299 00:12:32,979 --> 00:12:34,440 - Uh-huh. - every morning. 300 00:12:34,580 --> 00:12:35,824 - 5 A.M.. - Right here. 301 00:12:35,948 --> 00:12:36,875 Then he quit drinking. 302 00:12:36,983 --> 00:12:39,284 - Uh-huh. OK. - And he lost interest in radio. 303 00:12:39,452 --> 00:12:40,597 Check your barn doors. 304 00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:41,930 He developed mic fright. 305 00:12:42,055 --> 00:12:43,167 How did he quit drinkin'? 306 00:12:43,288 --> 00:12:44,237 He just quit. 307 00:12:44,457 --> 00:12:46,464 - And we're on. - Then he raised chickens. 308 00:12:46,626 --> 00:12:48,993 Show chickens. Chinese chickens. 309 00:12:52,966 --> 00:12:55,584 ♪ I hear that old piano ♪ 310 00:12:55,769 --> 00:12:58,290 ♪ From down the avenue ♪ 311 00:13:01,775 --> 00:13:03,782 ♪ I smell the pine trees ♪ 312 00:13:03,943 --> 00:13:06,431 ♪ I look around for you ♪ 313 00:13:08,816 --> 00:13:12,613 ♪ Oh, my sweet, sweet, sweet old someone ♪ 314 00:13:13,888 --> 00:13:16,605 ♪ Coming through that door ♪ 315 00:13:17,725 --> 00:13:21,205 ♪ It's Saturday and the band is playin' ♪ 316 00:13:21,429 --> 00:13:24,495 ♪ Honey, could we ask for more? ♪ 317 00:13:24,698 --> 00:13:26,422 Hello, everybody, on a Saturday night... 318 00:13:26,568 --> 00:13:28,259 and welcome to a live broadcast... 319 00:13:28,403 --> 00:13:30,508 of A Prairie Home Companion coming to you... 320 00:13:30,672 --> 00:13:34,087 from WLT, your friendly neighbor station. 321 00:13:34,843 --> 00:13:36,468 Noir, where you been? 322 00:13:36,611 --> 00:13:38,466 I was lookin' after the Johnson Girls. 323 00:13:38,613 --> 00:13:40,272 OK. Aren't you supposed to be guarding the door? 324 00:13:40,416 --> 00:13:41,463 Are you worried about something? 325 00:13:41,583 --> 00:13:44,136 Uh, I had a weird call from some crazy lady, so... 326 00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:45,727 Oh, she's not that crazy. 327 00:13:45,855 --> 00:13:47,065 How do you know? 328 00:13:47,189 --> 00:13:48,433 Because I met her earlier this afternoon. 329 00:13:48,557 --> 00:13:49,834 She came by. 330 00:13:49,959 --> 00:13:52,992 What does she look like? You get a description? 331 00:13:53,196 --> 00:13:54,538 Yeah, I got a description. 332 00:13:54,664 --> 00:13:55,711 Yeah? 333 00:13:55,832 --> 00:13:57,010 She was beautiful. 334 00:13:57,133 --> 00:14:01,639 Her hair was what God had in mind when he said, let there be... 335 00:14:01,904 --> 00:14:03,563 Hair. Right. Hair. 336 00:14:03,707 --> 00:14:06,489 Hair. Yeah. 337 00:14:06,676 --> 00:14:08,138 She gave me a smile so sweet... 338 00:14:08,277 --> 00:14:10,546 you could've poured it on your pancakes. 339 00:14:10,714 --> 00:14:13,201 She was wearing a white trench coat so white... 340 00:14:13,382 --> 00:14:16,252 that rain would be embarrassed to fall on it. 341 00:14:16,453 --> 00:14:17,827 Got it. Right. 342 00:14:17,955 --> 00:14:19,067 The skirt she was wearing was so tight... 343 00:14:19,188 --> 00:14:22,058 you could read the embroidery on her underwear. 344 00:14:22,259 --> 00:14:28,718 It said, 'Wash in lukewarm water and spin lightly.' 345 00:14:29,066 --> 00:14:30,593 OK, you're makin' it up. 346 00:14:30,735 --> 00:14:35,208 She had a Mount Rushmore t-shirt on, and those guys never looked so good. 347 00:14:35,473 --> 00:14:37,261 Especially Jefferson and Lincoln. 348 00:14:37,407 --> 00:14:38,487 Right. 349 00:14:38,610 --> 00:14:41,457 Kind of bloated but happy. 350 00:14:41,646 --> 00:14:43,980 - If you know what I mean. - Yeah. 351 00:14:44,149 --> 00:14:46,899 It was an honor just to sit there and inhale the same air... 352 00:14:47,085 --> 00:14:50,020 that she had so recently exhaled... 353 00:14:50,221 --> 00:14:54,629 just to exchange the atmosphere between us, so to speak. 354 00:14:54,893 --> 00:14:55,940 Look, what did she want? 355 00:14:56,060 --> 00:14:57,402 Did she say anything about... 356 00:14:57,529 --> 00:14:58,576 Who? 357 00:14:58,696 --> 00:15:00,223 The lady. 358 00:15:00,366 --> 00:15:03,268 Oh. She was looking for the Presbyterian Church. 359 00:15:03,469 --> 00:15:05,324 Like a dope, I told her where it was. 360 00:15:05,471 --> 00:15:08,340 And out of my life she went, just as... 361 00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:11,029 quickly and erotically as she had entered it. 362 00:15:15,181 --> 00:15:16,872 Are you tired of your current herring? 363 00:15:18,817 --> 00:15:21,239 Has it lost that certain something that you expect... 364 00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:22,697 in a pickled fish product? 365 00:15:24,791 --> 00:15:27,409 If so, maybe it's time you try Jens Jenson. 366 00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:32,679 It's the Lake Superior herring that's made the old-fashioned Norwegian way. 367 00:15:40,875 --> 00:15:45,065 C-can someone turn it down, please? Please? 368 00:15:45,313 --> 00:15:48,477 ♪ Yeah, Jenson Herring is the best ♪ 369 00:15:48,683 --> 00:15:49,801 Oh, Jens Jenson's. 370 00:15:49,884 --> 00:15:51,739 - Please. - Ask for it by name. 371 00:15:51,886 --> 00:15:54,603 And if your grocer doesn't stock it, ask him why not. 372 00:15:54,789 --> 00:15:56,316 You know what I'm gonna do? 373 00:15:56,457 --> 00:15:58,977 I'm gonna color my hair strawberry blonde. 374 00:15:59,594 --> 00:16:00,292 Hey. 375 00:16:00,394 --> 00:16:02,663 I swear to God, I should have done it years ago. 376 00:16:02,830 --> 00:16:03,758 I should have broke loose... 377 00:16:03,864 --> 00:16:06,101 gone to Chicago when Mama died back then. 378 00:16:06,268 --> 00:16:07,697 That's what I should have done. 379 00:16:07,835 --> 00:16:09,526 You know, you put those things off. 380 00:16:09,670 --> 00:16:11,939 You seldom get around to them again. 381 00:16:12,107 --> 00:16:14,528 Hmm. What are you writin'? 382 00:16:14,710 --> 00:16:15,822 Poem. 383 00:16:15,943 --> 00:16:17,285 Oh, a poem. 384 00:16:17,412 --> 00:16:19,681 What's it about? 385 00:16:19,848 --> 00:16:21,310 Heh. Suicide. 386 00:16:21,450 --> 00:16:23,173 Oh, my God. 387 00:16:23,318 --> 00:16:26,068 Oh. OK. 388 00:16:26,255 --> 00:16:28,426 Well, you know what my philosophy is. 389 00:16:28,590 --> 00:16:30,794 Yes, I do, so don't tell me. 390 00:16:32,427 --> 00:16:36,322 I think that you gotta be grateful for everything that happens to you... 391 00:16:36,566 --> 00:16:39,184 because that's what got you here, you know? 392 00:16:39,369 --> 00:16:42,086 And if you hadn't gone through all the things that you went through... 393 00:16:42,272 --> 00:16:44,411 why, you know, you wouldn't have wound up... 394 00:16:44,574 --> 00:16:48,218 where you are now, so, I don't know. 395 00:16:48,444 --> 00:16:49,655 Disappointment doesn't get you anywhere. 396 00:16:49,780 --> 00:16:50,707 Anywhere. 397 00:16:50,813 --> 00:16:52,340 Aren't you wonderful? 398 00:16:52,483 --> 00:16:55,581 Well, one door closes and another one opens... 399 00:16:55,786 --> 00:17:00,128 then, you know, everything is a step along the way... 400 00:17:00,391 --> 00:17:02,278 and it all leads to something else. 401 00:17:02,426 --> 00:17:05,622 Pardon me if I don't get down on my knees. 402 00:17:05,829 --> 00:17:08,993 Well, that's what I think. 403 00:17:09,199 --> 00:17:12,014 Ahem. Read me some of your poem. 404 00:17:12,202 --> 00:17:13,412 It's not finished. 405 00:17:13,537 --> 00:17:14,715 Huh? 406 00:17:14,838 --> 00:17:16,977 OK. 407 00:17:17,142 --> 00:17:20,142 'Soliloquy for a Blue Guitar. 408 00:17:20,345 --> 00:17:21,272 'Death is easy... 409 00:17:21,378 --> 00:17:23,996 'like jumping into the big, blue air... 410 00:17:24,181 --> 00:17:26,091 'and waving hello to God. 411 00:17:26,251 --> 00:17:27,265 'God is love... 412 00:17:27,385 --> 00:17:28,879 'but he doesn't necessarily drop everything... 413 00:17:29,020 --> 00:17:30,962 'to catch you, does he? 414 00:17:31,122 --> 00:17:34,057 'So, when you hook the hose up to your tailpipe... 415 00:17:34,259 --> 00:17:36,746 'don't expect to wake up and get toast for breakfast. 416 00:17:36,928 --> 00:17:39,896 'The toast is you.' 417 00:17:40,099 --> 00:17:42,041 Hey, what was the name of that song? 418 00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:43,128 Well, did you like it? 419 00:17:43,234 --> 00:17:45,918 I won't be loanin' you my car any time soon. 420 00:17:46,105 --> 00:17:47,828 Hose to the tailpipe. 421 00:17:48,306 --> 00:17:49,200 Thank you so much. 422 00:17:49,275 --> 00:17:51,576 I want to come in here and sing a song for you... 423 00:17:51,744 --> 00:17:56,250 called Slow Days of Summer. 424 00:17:56,515 --> 00:18:01,949 Send this out to all the friends in my little hometown... 425 00:18:02,254 --> 00:18:06,891 up north of here up on the river. 426 00:18:07,159 --> 00:18:10,126 ♪ Slow days of summer ♪ 427 00:18:10,329 --> 00:18:12,915 ♪ In this old town ♪ 428 00:18:13,100 --> 00:18:15,969 ♪ Sun goes across the sky ♪ 429 00:18:16,169 --> 00:18:19,136 ♪ Sometimes a car goes by ♪ 430 00:18:19,339 --> 00:18:22,056 ♪ There's one right now ♪ 431 00:18:22,242 --> 00:18:24,795 ♪ Looks like a Chevy ♪ 432 00:18:24,978 --> 00:18:28,044 ♪ Your Chevy's blue ♪ 433 00:18:28,248 --> 00:18:31,031 ♪ This Chevy's white and brown ♪ 434 00:18:31,219 --> 00:18:34,088 ♪ It doesn't slow down ♪ 435 00:18:34,288 --> 00:18:37,038 ♪ This looks like new ♪ 436 00:18:37,225 --> 00:18:39,876 ♪ You said you'd be here ♪ 437 00:18:40,061 --> 00:18:42,995 ♪ Someday yourself ♪ 438 00:18:43,197 --> 00:18:45,979 ♪ Maybe by Saturday ♪ 439 00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:49,102 ♪ If you can get away ♪ 440 00:18:49,303 --> 00:18:51,245 ♪ You'll let me know ♪ 441 00:18:55,009 --> 00:18:55,937 You came back. 442 00:18:56,044 --> 00:18:58,019 I did. 443 00:18:58,179 --> 00:19:00,863 The Presbyterians weren't who you were looking for? 444 00:19:01,049 --> 00:19:02,576 No, Mr. Noir. 445 00:19:02,718 --> 00:19:04,506 I was sent here. 446 00:19:04,653 --> 00:19:06,955 What can I do for you? 447 00:19:07,122 --> 00:19:08,715 Really nothing. 448 00:19:08,857 --> 00:19:10,384 I'll take care of it. 449 00:19:10,527 --> 00:19:11,956 ♪ Playing a note... ♪ 450 00:19:12,095 --> 00:19:15,161 You have a nice show here, Mr. Noir. 451 00:19:15,365 --> 00:19:17,503 Thanks. We like it. 452 00:19:17,666 --> 00:19:21,660 Do you believe in the fullness of time and the spirit? 453 00:19:21,905 --> 00:19:24,654 Most people don't, you know. 454 00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:28,070 It would be good, Mr. Noir, if you would open your heart... 455 00:19:28,278 --> 00:19:31,180 to the fullness of time and the spirit... 456 00:19:31,382 --> 00:19:37,426 which upholds and sustains us all through this world. Amen. 457 00:19:37,755 --> 00:19:39,129 Whatever you say. 458 00:19:42,726 --> 00:19:43,806 Hmm. 459 00:19:52,736 --> 00:19:55,638 ♪ Waiting for love to come ♪ 460 00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:58,328 ♪ All is alive ♪ 461 00:19:58,509 --> 00:20:01,543 ♪ Birds sing with angel tongues ♪ 462 00:20:01,746 --> 00:20:04,681 ♪ Small stones like diamonds ♪ 463 00:20:04,882 --> 00:20:08,079 ♪ All down the drive ♪ 464 00:20:08,286 --> 00:20:13,687 ♪ Around the corner, an old dog appears ♪ 465 00:20:13,992 --> 00:20:16,927 ♪ Sits in the summer sun ♪ 466 00:20:17,128 --> 00:20:20,030 ♪ Waiting for love to come ♪ 467 00:20:20,233 --> 00:20:23,080 ♪ Wish you were here ♪ 468 00:20:23,268 --> 00:20:26,083 ♪ Wish you were here ♪ 469 00:20:26,271 --> 00:20:28,988 ♪ Ooh ♪ 470 00:20:31,643 --> 00:20:32,788 Thank you, boys. 471 00:20:34,814 --> 00:20:37,716 And the next week, we're back doin' the county fair circuit... 472 00:20:37,917 --> 00:20:39,892 changin' our petticoats in the ladies' toilet... 473 00:20:40,052 --> 00:20:41,426 and the boys tryin' to peek in. 474 00:20:41,554 --> 00:20:42,798 Ha ha ha! 475 00:20:42,922 --> 00:20:44,329 That was the only good part about it. 476 00:20:44,458 --> 00:20:46,563 Then you have to go outdoors and sing in the open air... 477 00:20:46,727 --> 00:20:49,116 with a cloud of mosquitoes around your head. 478 00:20:49,295 --> 00:20:52,459 Remember that time... honestly, Lola, honest to God... 479 00:20:52,665 --> 00:20:54,389 a dragonfly flew right in my mouth. 480 00:20:54,535 --> 00:20:55,483 Oh, yeah! 481 00:20:55,602 --> 00:20:58,220 It was this big. I thought it was a bird. 482 00:20:58,405 --> 00:20:59,354 How old were you then? 483 00:20:59,474 --> 00:21:02,092 I was thirteen. Your mother was ten. 484 00:21:02,276 --> 00:21:03,421 Wanda was what? 485 00:21:03,544 --> 00:21:07,089 Wanda was sixteen. Connie, fifteen. 486 00:21:07,314 --> 00:21:08,743 Yep. 487 00:21:08,882 --> 00:21:10,737 That was the end of it. The end of the road. 488 00:21:10,884 --> 00:21:13,088 That was a great... 489 00:21:13,254 --> 00:21:15,458 You know, Wanda took it real hard, didn't she? 490 00:21:15,623 --> 00:21:17,925 A week later, she got arrested. 491 00:21:18,092 --> 00:21:20,231 For what? You never told me this. 492 00:21:20,395 --> 00:21:22,598 Shoplifting, and I did tell you this. 493 00:21:22,764 --> 00:21:25,185 Mom, you're going senile. You didn't tell me that. 494 00:21:25,366 --> 00:21:26,293 No... 495 00:21:26,402 --> 00:21:28,224 She was havin' a cup of coffee in the cafe. 496 00:21:28,369 --> 00:21:29,579 She ordered a glazed doughnut. 497 00:21:29,704 --> 00:21:32,322 She started eatin' it and she got a sugar rush. 498 00:21:32,507 --> 00:21:34,777 She was diagnosed hypoglycemic. 499 00:21:34,944 --> 00:21:36,831 And so, she forgets she didn't pay for the doughnut... 500 00:21:36,978 --> 00:21:38,091 and she walks out the door. 501 00:21:38,213 --> 00:21:40,068 - It wasn't two minutes... - But they arrested her for shopliftin'. 502 00:21:40,215 --> 00:21:42,964 The red lights are flashin' and she's in handcuffs... 503 00:21:43,152 --> 00:21:44,678 - And they had a policeman there. - And the cameras, the TV camera... 504 00:21:44,820 --> 00:21:47,057 - the station came right down. - It was on the news. 505 00:21:47,222 --> 00:21:49,360 And her hair is, like, stickin' out like this and she's bawlin'... 506 00:21:49,525 --> 00:21:51,533 and Daddy sees it on the 10:00 newscast. 507 00:21:51,695 --> 00:21:53,483 'Cause he was in the hospital with Mama. 508 00:21:53,629 --> 00:21:56,018 She was havin' her tubes tied after Johnny was born. 509 00:21:56,198 --> 00:21:57,126 Thank you. 510 00:21:57,233 --> 00:21:59,534 - Didn't need to know that. - Well. 511 00:21:59,703 --> 00:22:04,013 Daddy sees Wanda gettin' arrested on TV for shoplifting. 512 00:22:04,273 --> 00:22:06,096 He has a major coronary occlusion. 513 00:22:06,242 --> 00:22:07,322 Yeah. 514 00:22:07,444 --> 00:22:10,193 He just climbed up into the hospital bed with Mama... 515 00:22:10,380 --> 00:22:12,901 then he pulled the sheet up over his own face... 516 00:22:13,084 --> 00:22:14,938 and when the nurse came in, he was dead. 517 00:22:15,086 --> 00:22:17,257 That was it. You know? 518 00:22:17,420 --> 00:22:20,998 He left a note, 'cause Wanda got released from jail just for the funeral. 519 00:22:21,224 --> 00:22:24,573 He said, 'Wanda, you broke my heart. Signed, Daddy.' 520 00:22:24,795 --> 00:22:27,664 She did thirty days for one glazed doughnut. 521 00:22:27,865 --> 00:22:30,899 A 59-cent doughnut. If it had been rock and roll... 522 00:22:31,102 --> 00:22:32,956 she could have thrown sofas out of the window... 523 00:22:33,105 --> 00:22:35,177 hotel window. No, not even her own sofa. 524 00:22:35,339 --> 00:22:37,706 She could throw somebody else's sofa out the window. 525 00:22:37,875 --> 00:22:39,915 You don't know what kind of passersby at the bottom. 526 00:22:40,077 --> 00:22:41,932 She could have been hittin' people. It wouldn't have mattered. 527 00:22:42,079 --> 00:22:44,894 But when you're playin' to Christian family audiences like we were... 528 00:22:45,083 --> 00:22:46,992 you so much as forget to pay for a damn doughnut... 529 00:22:47,151 --> 00:22:49,224 they throw you out like a piece of garbage. 530 00:22:49,388 --> 00:22:52,006 Sooner kill you than look at you. 531 00:22:52,190 --> 00:22:54,197 Some of those good people, eh? 532 00:22:54,359 --> 00:22:57,708 The Soderberg family selling out! 533 00:22:57,929 --> 00:23:00,100 I just do not get it. 534 00:23:00,265 --> 00:23:01,825 I mean, they've owned WLT... 535 00:23:01,967 --> 00:23:04,302 since they ran it out of a sandwich shop. 536 00:23:04,470 --> 00:23:06,292 I mean, that's what the call letters stand for, you know. 537 00:23:06,438 --> 00:23:08,610 'With Lettuce and Tomato.' Did you know that? 538 00:23:08,775 --> 00:23:10,847 I mean, how do you just walk away from somethin' like that? 539 00:23:11,010 --> 00:23:12,668 I mean, what are we? Used Kleenex? 540 00:23:12,812 --> 00:23:14,754 They got old, babe. 541 00:23:14,914 --> 00:23:17,980 They started thinking about ease and comfort. 542 00:23:18,184 --> 00:23:23,072 Then, I figure, they saw a brochure about an island with palm trees... 543 00:23:23,356 --> 00:23:27,285 and an azure sky and miles of sand... 544 00:23:27,527 --> 00:23:29,600 and they thought, 'Hey! Ha ha! 545 00:23:29,763 --> 00:23:34,018 'We don't have to suffer through these miserable Minnesota winters. 546 00:23:34,267 --> 00:23:37,563 'We don't have to freeze our butts off waiting for our bus to come. 547 00:23:37,771 --> 00:23:42,277 'Our bus has come. It's here. We'll leave the business to the kids... 548 00:23:42,543 --> 00:23:45,129 'and we'll head for paradise and to hell with it.' 549 00:23:45,312 --> 00:23:46,239 Only trouble is... 550 00:23:46,347 --> 00:23:49,642 the kids had already gone down to paradise ahead of them. 551 00:23:49,850 --> 00:23:52,217 So then, a big corporation down in Texas... 552 00:23:52,386 --> 00:23:55,288 offered them a gazillion dollars for it. 553 00:23:55,489 --> 00:23:57,278 Texans. 554 00:23:57,425 --> 00:23:58,919 Sure. 555 00:23:59,060 --> 00:24:00,783 They talk funny and their eyes don't focus... 556 00:24:00,928 --> 00:24:03,776 and their flesh is rotting and falling off... 557 00:24:03,965 --> 00:24:07,926 but hey. You know. So what? 558 00:24:08,169 --> 00:24:12,359 Yeah, nobody's perfect and, uh... money is money... 559 00:24:12,607 --> 00:24:14,974 so, the Soderbergs took the dough. End of story. 560 00:24:15,143 --> 00:24:16,670 Do you have any tweezers? 561 00:24:16,812 --> 00:24:20,008 Egg salad or ham salad? 562 00:24:20,215 --> 00:24:21,776 Why are you crying? 563 00:24:21,917 --> 00:24:24,372 Well, it's the last show. 564 00:24:24,553 --> 00:24:28,033 I'm never going to see these people again. 565 00:24:28,257 --> 00:24:29,304 You'll see them again. 566 00:24:29,425 --> 00:24:32,175 I knew all of them from the old days. 567 00:24:32,361 --> 00:24:36,190 Soupy and Red, Ray. 568 00:24:36,432 --> 00:24:39,018 And Helen. 569 00:24:39,202 --> 00:24:41,307 Gone and forgotten. 570 00:24:41,471 --> 00:24:43,642 Every sparrow is remembered. 571 00:24:46,510 --> 00:24:49,805 I don't even know if they're gonna make a speech or anything. 572 00:24:50,013 --> 00:24:52,217 It doesn't seem right, does it? 573 00:24:52,382 --> 00:24:53,309 No. 574 00:24:53,416 --> 00:24:57,409 Some big company come in and steps on us... 575 00:24:57,654 --> 00:24:59,891 like we were bugs at the picnic. 576 00:25:04,561 --> 00:25:07,409 What's in ham salad? 577 00:25:07,598 --> 00:25:12,267 I... I can't remember the word. It was... 578 00:25:12,536 --> 00:25:14,806 May I... 579 00:25:14,972 --> 00:25:16,695 Maybe... 580 00:25:16,841 --> 00:25:17,769 Mayo? 581 00:25:17,875 --> 00:25:21,191 Mayonnaise. 582 00:25:21,412 --> 00:25:23,005 Mayonnaise. 583 00:25:23,147 --> 00:25:27,271 Well, it's an end of an era when this show goes, guys. 584 00:25:27,519 --> 00:25:29,461 There won't be anything left on the radio except what? 585 00:25:29,621 --> 00:25:32,206 People yellin' at you and computers playing music. 586 00:25:32,390 --> 00:25:33,852 I mean, it's a tragedy. 587 00:25:33,992 --> 00:25:35,006 I wasn't gonna tell you this... 588 00:25:35,127 --> 00:25:37,549 but between you and me and the fly on the wall... 589 00:25:37,729 --> 00:25:40,925 there's a woman on the premises who I think, maybe, is gonna save our bacon. 590 00:25:41,133 --> 00:25:42,082 Hmm? 591 00:25:42,201 --> 00:25:43,543 She's got that look about her. 592 00:25:43,669 --> 00:25:44,618 Who is she? 593 00:25:44,737 --> 00:25:47,322 I'm not sure. I'm still working on figuring that one out. 594 00:25:47,506 --> 00:25:49,295 Just close your eyes for a second. 595 00:25:49,442 --> 00:25:51,165 She from NorComm? 596 00:25:51,310 --> 00:25:52,488 Time will tell. 597 00:25:52,612 --> 00:25:57,347 I'll just let personal charm and dashing good looks do their work. 598 00:25:57,617 --> 00:25:59,788 She walked in, couldn't take her eyes off me. 599 00:25:59,953 --> 00:26:02,506 Drawn to me like a moth to the flame. 600 00:26:02,856 --> 00:26:04,711 Every time there's a triumph in the world... 601 00:26:04,824 --> 00:26:07,377 a million souls have to be trampled on. 602 00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:10,211 And right there... you can see it right in the damn carpet. 603 00:26:10,397 --> 00:26:12,698 What does that have to do with anything? 604 00:26:12,866 --> 00:26:14,689 Mama. She l... she went... 605 00:26:14,835 --> 00:26:15,947 She went up to the... 606 00:26:16,069 --> 00:26:18,044 It was a lot for Mama to put up with. 607 00:26:18,205 --> 00:26:20,409 We had to shovel her into the Good Shepherd Home. 608 00:26:20,574 --> 00:26:22,297 That's it. That was the sad day. 609 00:26:22,443 --> 00:26:23,850 Connie quit the act. 610 00:26:23,978 --> 00:26:25,539 God, we'd already lost Wanda. 611 00:26:25,679 --> 00:26:26,856 Wanda was like magic. 612 00:26:26,981 --> 00:26:28,672 The four of us, when we were together... 613 00:26:28,816 --> 00:26:30,027 - she was singin'. - She was... 614 00:26:30,151 --> 00:26:31,907 And next to you, I'm tellin' you... 615 00:26:32,053 --> 00:26:33,263 you've followed in her footsteps. 616 00:26:33,387 --> 00:26:35,492 You are the same... the same talent. 617 00:26:35,656 --> 00:26:36,965 No. I don't know about that. 618 00:26:37,091 --> 00:26:38,302 So, now, it's just the two of us. 619 00:26:38,426 --> 00:26:39,800 Yep. Just the two of us. 620 00:26:39,928 --> 00:26:43,027 You know what? It was your dad got us on the radio. 621 00:26:43,231 --> 00:26:45,620 God, that was a good-lookin' family! 622 00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:47,654 I can understand you goin' for that guy. 623 00:26:47,802 --> 00:26:49,656 Yeah, he sang like an angel. 624 00:26:49,805 --> 00:26:52,325 He sang... 625 00:26:52,507 --> 00:26:56,697 ♪ Softly and tenderly ♪ 626 00:26:56,945 --> 00:27:00,393 ♪ Jesus is calling ♪ 627 00:27:00,616 --> 00:27:07,206 ♪ Callin' for you and for me ♪ 628 00:27:07,556 --> 00:27:09,825 ♪ See on the portal ♪ 629 00:27:09,992 --> 00:27:13,767 ♪ He's waiting and watching ♪ 630 00:27:13,996 --> 00:27:19,844 ♪ Watching for you and for me ♪ 631 00:27:20,170 --> 00:27:22,658 ♪ Come home ♪ 632 00:27:22,839 --> 00:27:26,352 ♪ Come home ♪ 633 00:27:26,575 --> 00:27:33,765 ♪ Ye who are weary, come home ♪ 634 00:27:34,151 --> 00:27:37,282 Hmm-mmm. 635 00:27:37,488 --> 00:27:40,586 Singing is the only thing that puts me right. 636 00:27:40,791 --> 00:27:44,719 Hmm-mmm. 637 00:27:45,563 --> 00:27:47,024 ♪ Well, Charlie, you're a good ol' boy ♪ 638 00:27:47,131 --> 00:27:48,789 ♪ Charlie, you're all right ♪ 639 00:27:48,933 --> 00:27:50,427 ♪ Charlie, open up the store ♪ 640 00:27:50,568 --> 00:27:52,291 ♪ We're comin' down tonight ♪ 641 00:27:52,437 --> 00:27:54,128 ♪ Out where you can see the stars ♪ 642 00:27:54,272 --> 00:27:55,549 ♪ And the living's slow ♪ 643 00:27:55,673 --> 00:27:57,560 ♪ We'll eat potluck and pool guitars ♪ 644 00:27:57,709 --> 00:27:59,302 ♪ Down on Old Plank Road ♪ 645 00:27:59,444 --> 00:28:01,037 ♪ Ohh ♪ 646 00:28:01,179 --> 00:28:02,586 ♪ Down on Old Plank Road ♪ 647 00:28:02,714 --> 00:28:04,569 ♪ We'll eat potluck and pool guitars ♪ 648 00:28:04,716 --> 00:28:06,658 ♪ Down on Old Plank Road ♪ 649 00:28:06,818 --> 00:28:08,029 ♪ Come home ♪ 650 00:28:08,153 --> 00:28:12,047 ♪ Come home ♪ 651 00:28:12,291 --> 00:28:18,882 ♪ Ye who are weary, come home ♪ 652 00:28:19,231 --> 00:28:21,053 Hold it. Are we on? 653 00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:22,215 Uh, not yet. You've got a few minutes. 654 00:28:22,334 --> 00:28:23,316 What are we doin'? 655 00:28:23,436 --> 00:28:26,949 You're on in the Powdermilk segment doing Gold Watch and Chain with him. 656 00:28:27,173 --> 00:28:29,693 We haven't done that for years. 657 00:28:29,876 --> 00:28:34,066 ♪ I'll pawn you my gold watch and chain, love ♪ 658 00:28:34,314 --> 00:28:37,697 ♪ I'll pawn you my gold wedding ring... ♪ 659 00:28:37,916 --> 00:28:38,844 Excuse me. 660 00:28:38,952 --> 00:28:41,156 I gotta get a head start on gettin' pie-eyed tonight. 661 00:28:41,321 --> 00:28:44,354 ♪ This heart in my bosom ♪ 662 00:28:44,558 --> 00:28:49,413 ♪ Only say that you'll love me again ♪ 663 00:28:49,696 --> 00:28:51,103 How about Red River Valley? 664 00:28:51,231 --> 00:28:53,817 Fine. Whatever you'd like. 665 00:28:54,001 --> 00:28:59,238 I would just like there to be a spot for Lola on the show later. 666 00:28:59,540 --> 00:29:02,988 I hope so. If there's time. 667 00:29:03,210 --> 00:29:05,860 Well, this isn't really gonna be your last show, is it? 668 00:29:06,047 --> 00:29:07,935 Every show's your last show. 669 00:29:08,082 --> 00:29:09,838 That's my philosophy. 670 00:29:09,984 --> 00:29:13,367 Thank you, Plato. Kierkegaard. 671 00:29:14,923 --> 00:29:16,232 Button up, would ya? 672 00:29:16,357 --> 00:29:18,746 I am. That's as far as it goes. 673 00:29:22,497 --> 00:29:24,187 ♪ Well, sister and her oldest girl ♪ 674 00:29:24,331 --> 00:29:26,120 ♪ They sing so good together ♪ 675 00:29:26,268 --> 00:29:27,675 ♪ Jason, he can make me laugh ♪ 676 00:29:27,803 --> 00:29:29,625 ♪ And he just keeps gettin' better ♪ 677 00:29:29,771 --> 00:29:31,429 ♪ Claire has got a sweet new one ♪ 678 00:29:31,573 --> 00:29:32,915 ♪ About her, Timmy-o ♪ 679 00:29:33,041 --> 00:29:34,928 ♪ And John is everybody's man ♪ 680 00:29:35,077 --> 00:29:36,354 ♪ Down on Old Plank Road ♪ 681 00:29:36,745 --> 00:29:38,567 ♪ Ohh ♪ 682 00:29:38,713 --> 00:29:39,990 ♪ Down on Old Plank Road ♪ 683 00:29:40,115 --> 00:29:45,898 Hey, uh... can you tell potato face here that his butt is too big for his pants... 684 00:29:46,222 --> 00:29:48,164 and people can see his crack... 685 00:29:48,324 --> 00:29:51,291 and it ain't nothin' any normal person would ever care to look at? 686 00:29:51,494 --> 00:29:52,442 Where? 687 00:29:52,562 --> 00:29:54,984 In the back. That's where your crack is. 688 00:29:55,165 --> 00:29:56,092 Well, I don't see nothin'. 689 00:29:56,199 --> 00:29:58,566 - Hey, Molly. - Don't talk to me. 690 00:29:58,734 --> 00:29:59,847 Am I decent back there? 691 00:29:59,970 --> 00:30:02,206 Don't ask me. I'm not your mother. 692 00:30:02,371 --> 00:30:05,186 You might be decent if you lost 25 pounds of ugly fat. 693 00:30:05,374 --> 00:30:08,124 And I might suggest cuttin' off your head. 694 00:30:08,312 --> 00:30:10,483 She showed me her tattoo once. 695 00:30:10,646 --> 00:30:11,956 Hell she did. 696 00:30:12,082 --> 00:30:13,772 On her shoulder. 697 00:30:13,916 --> 00:30:15,477 You're lyin' through your teeth. 698 00:30:15,619 --> 00:30:16,699 Left shoulder. Right here. 699 00:30:16,820 --> 00:30:18,674 - That ain't the shoulder. - Whatever you want to call it. 700 00:30:18,823 --> 00:30:19,805 I'd call it the clavicle. 701 00:30:19,923 --> 00:30:21,036 OK, well, why don't you ask her about it? 702 00:30:21,158 --> 00:30:22,205 Maybe she'll let you have a look. 703 00:30:22,326 --> 00:30:23,853 Well, what did it say? 704 00:30:23,995 --> 00:30:25,140 It said, 'Freedom.' 705 00:30:25,263 --> 00:30:27,118 Fr... Now I know you're lyin'. 706 00:30:27,265 --> 00:30:29,599 Come on. We gotta put out the CDs. 707 00:30:29,766 --> 00:30:32,384 Come on, niece. 708 00:30:32,569 --> 00:30:34,479 Hey. Molly. 709 00:30:34,639 --> 00:30:36,461 Molly, here. Take these out front. 710 00:30:36,608 --> 00:30:40,252 Did you hear about the Soderbergs sellin' the radio station? 711 00:30:40,478 --> 00:30:42,517 I heard all about it. 712 00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:44,022 Are you OK? 713 00:30:44,149 --> 00:30:47,084 Yes, of course. Hmm? 714 00:30:47,286 --> 00:30:49,108 Kind of a bizarre feeling, isn't it? 715 00:30:49,254 --> 00:30:51,425 - What? - The silence. 716 00:30:51,589 --> 00:30:53,378 What? 717 00:30:53,525 --> 00:30:55,467 Well... 718 00:30:55,628 --> 00:30:57,057 you're gonna say somethin' about it. 719 00:30:57,196 --> 00:30:58,538 You're gonna talk to the people, aren't you? 720 00:30:58,664 --> 00:31:01,315 Say, 'Thanks for listening,' or something. 721 00:31:01,500 --> 00:31:02,645 Yeah, you know. 722 00:31:02,768 --> 00:31:03,716 I don't think so. 723 00:31:03,836 --> 00:31:04,916 Why not? Say, 'Thank you.' 724 00:31:05,037 --> 00:31:06,630 What? 725 00:31:06,773 --> 00:31:09,042 I'm just not into making big speeches. 726 00:31:09,208 --> 00:31:10,386 What do you do when you leave somebody's house? 727 00:31:10,510 --> 00:31:11,557 You don't just turn around... 728 00:31:11,678 --> 00:31:14,198 I don't make a big speech. A big weepy speech. 729 00:31:14,380 --> 00:31:18,090 Oh, that's it! You're afraid that you're gonna cry! 730 00:31:18,318 --> 00:31:19,528 I wouldn't. 731 00:31:19,653 --> 00:31:22,523 Yeah, that's right. That's true. You wouldn't. 732 00:31:22,721 --> 00:31:26,496 And you know, that's why, I think, that our romance was so short. 733 00:31:26,726 --> 00:31:29,726 Because I knew that when we broke up, you would not cry... 734 00:31:29,930 --> 00:31:31,818 so, I got way over it. 735 00:31:33,767 --> 00:31:34,814 Does that make sense to you? 736 00:31:34,935 --> 00:31:35,863 No, not at all. 737 00:31:35,970 --> 00:31:39,864 Bebopareebop Frozen Rhubarb Pie and Frozen Rhubarb Pie Filling. 738 00:31:40,106 --> 00:31:44,035 Wouldn't this be a good time for a piece of rhubarb pie? 739 00:31:44,277 --> 00:31:46,666 ♪ Yes, one little thing can revive a guy ♪ 740 00:31:46,847 --> 00:31:49,051 ♪ And that is a piece of rhubarb pie ♪ 741 00:31:49,217 --> 00:31:51,584 ♪ Serve it up, nice and hot ♪ 742 00:31:51,752 --> 00:31:53,891 ♪ Maybe things aren't as bad as you thought ♪ 743 00:31:54,055 --> 00:31:56,291 ♪ Mammy's little baby loves rhubarb, rhubarb ♪ 744 00:31:56,458 --> 00:31:58,530 ♪ Bebopareebop Rhubarb Pie ♪ 745 00:31:58,693 --> 00:32:00,930 ♪ Mama's little baby loves rhubarb, rhubarb ♪ 746 00:32:01,096 --> 00:32:03,267 ♪ Bebopareebop Rhubarb Pie ♪ 747 00:32:03,432 --> 00:32:05,287 ♪ Bebopareebop Rhubarb Pie ♪ 748 00:32:05,434 --> 00:32:07,889 Yes, Bebopareebop Rhubarb Pie. 749 00:32:08,070 --> 00:32:09,248 And now, for Bebopareebop... 750 00:32:09,371 --> 00:32:12,338 please welcome one of radio's great singing families... 751 00:32:12,541 --> 00:32:15,290 the Johnson Girls, Rhonda and Yolanda. 752 00:32:16,578 --> 00:32:18,302 - Hi, everybody. - Hi. 753 00:32:18,580 --> 00:32:21,876 Oh, thank you. Thank you! Thank you very much. 754 00:32:22,084 --> 00:32:25,467 I just want to say right away how happy I am... 755 00:32:25,687 --> 00:32:29,103 that my daughter Lola is here tonight. 756 00:32:29,324 --> 00:32:30,601 - Come on, Lola. - Oh! Thank you, sweetheart. 757 00:32:30,727 --> 00:32:31,709 They want to see you. 758 00:32:31,828 --> 00:32:33,770 It means a lot to me that you came. 759 00:32:33,930 --> 00:32:37,159 Yeah, I named my little girl Lola after our own mother. 760 00:32:37,367 --> 00:32:38,349 Yeah, Lola was our mom. 761 00:32:38,468 --> 00:32:43,105 Lola. And tonight, we're gonna sing... 762 00:32:43,373 --> 00:32:46,406 an old song that our mother loved. 763 00:32:46,609 --> 00:32:47,820 Oh, it's one of her favorites. 764 00:32:47,945 --> 00:32:50,814 Yep. She was our inspiration. 765 00:32:51,015 --> 00:32:52,259 Some of you know this story... 766 00:32:52,383 --> 00:32:57,271 but she's the main reason that we started makin' music originally... 767 00:32:57,554 --> 00:33:01,199 because you know she... 768 00:33:01,425 --> 00:33:03,880 it was the only way we knew to make her happy. 769 00:33:04,062 --> 00:33:07,706 She'd be down on the kitchen floor scrubbin' on her knees. 770 00:33:07,931 --> 00:33:10,965 But if you stood in the doorway and you sang a song that she liked... 771 00:33:11,169 --> 00:33:14,016 why, she would just look up and smile. 772 00:33:14,204 --> 00:33:16,790 Ha ha! Worn out as she was... 773 00:33:16,975 --> 00:33:20,520 it was a smile as wide as the Mississippi. Heh heh. 774 00:33:22,714 --> 00:33:23,641 Down at the mouth. 775 00:33:23,748 --> 00:33:26,236 Not so slow, you sons of bitches. I'll break your necks. 776 00:33:26,418 --> 00:33:27,530 - Yeah. - I mean it. 777 00:33:27,652 --> 00:33:29,540 And you could see her gold tooth. 778 00:33:31,856 --> 00:33:37,191 ♪ Way down upon that old Mississippi River ♪ 779 00:33:37,495 --> 00:33:42,383 ♪ Not so far away ♪ 780 00:33:42,667 --> 00:33:47,785 ♪ That's where my folks have lived forever ♪ 781 00:33:48,074 --> 00:33:53,344 ♪ And that's where I'm going to stay ♪ 782 00:33:53,647 --> 00:33:59,081 ♪ I been searchin' 'cross the whole creation ♪ 783 00:33:59,386 --> 00:34:02,647 ♪ Half my life or more ♪ 784 00:34:02,856 --> 00:34:05,059 ♪ And more ♪ 785 00:34:05,225 --> 00:34:10,047 ♪ But I found my own sweet satisfaction ♪ 786 00:34:10,330 --> 00:34:15,448 ♪ Right here on that muddy river shore ♪ 787 00:34:15,736 --> 00:34:20,471 ♪ All the world is so sad and dreary ♪ 788 00:34:20,741 --> 00:34:26,589 ♪ Everywhere I roam ♪ 789 00:34:26,914 --> 00:34:28,507 - # Oh ♪ - # Oh, Mama ♪ 790 00:34:28,649 --> 00:34:32,162 ♪ Mama, how I miss the prairie ♪ 791 00:34:32,387 --> 00:34:38,104 ♪ And my Minnesota home ♪ 792 00:34:38,427 --> 00:34:43,664 I can see my mama's sweet, sweet face every Sunday morning. 793 00:34:43,966 --> 00:34:48,374 All the good old hymns, praise God, that we've sung. 794 00:34:48,636 --> 00:34:53,721 We knelt in prayer right beside our precious aunts and uncles... 795 00:34:54,008 --> 00:34:59,704 ♪ Who loved us when we were young ♪ 796 00:35:00,015 --> 00:35:02,187 ♪ In the valley of darkness ♪ 797 00:35:02,352 --> 00:35:05,003 ♪ They are the shepherds ♪ 798 00:35:05,188 --> 00:35:10,457 ♪ Who lead me to pastures green ♪ 799 00:35:10,759 --> 00:35:13,028 ♪ And I'll sit with my mama ♪ 800 00:35:13,196 --> 00:35:16,098 ♪ By the still, still waters ♪ 801 00:35:16,298 --> 00:35:21,383 ♪ And goodness and mercy follow me ♪ 802 00:35:21,671 --> 00:35:24,355 ♪ I floated down ♪ 803 00:35:24,541 --> 00:35:27,159 ♪ The Columbia and the Hudson ♪ 804 00:35:27,343 --> 00:35:32,580 ♪ Walked on the banks of the Ohio ♪ 805 00:35:32,882 --> 00:35:35,053 ♪ On the banks of the Wabash ♪ 806 00:35:35,219 --> 00:35:37,739 ♪ And the mighty Colorado ♪ 807 00:35:37,922 --> 00:35:43,323 ♪ And the old Red River way up north ♪ 808 00:35:43,627 --> 00:35:45,154 ♪ All the world ♪ 809 00:35:45,296 --> 00:35:48,908 ♪ It is a world of rivers ♪ 810 00:35:49,134 --> 00:35:52,581 ♪ Flowing to the sea ♪ 811 00:35:52,803 --> 00:35:54,811 ♪ Yeah ♪ 812 00:35:54,972 --> 00:35:59,162 ♪ But here on that old Mississippi ♪ 813 00:35:59,411 --> 00:36:03,567 ♪ Here is the home for you and me ♪ 814 00:36:03,815 --> 00:36:05,092 Come on, bring it home! 815 00:36:05,217 --> 00:36:07,322 ♪ All the world ♪ 816 00:36:07,486 --> 00:36:10,301 ♪ It is so sad and dreary ♪ 817 00:36:10,489 --> 00:36:14,962 ♪ Everywhere I roam ♪ 818 00:36:15,228 --> 00:36:16,340 ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪ 819 00:36:16,461 --> 00:36:18,403 ♪ Oh, Mama ♪ 820 00:36:18,563 --> 00:36:22,720 ♪ How I missed the prairie ♪ 821 00:36:22,969 --> 00:36:24,213 ♪ E-e-e ♪ 822 00:36:24,337 --> 00:36:25,995 - Ha ha. - Ha ha. 823 00:36:26,138 --> 00:36:31,834 ♪ And my Minnesota ♪ 824 00:36:32,144 --> 00:36:38,124 ♪ Home ♪ 825 00:36:46,392 --> 00:36:47,985 The Johnson Girls, thank you. 826 00:36:48,128 --> 00:36:49,884 Brought to you by Powdermilk Biscuits... 827 00:36:50,029 --> 00:36:52,396 in the big blue box with the picture of the biscuit on the cover. 828 00:36:52,567 --> 00:36:53,744 Heavens, they're tasty. 829 00:36:53,867 --> 00:36:55,045 And expeditious. 830 00:36:55,168 --> 00:36:57,688 Also brought to you by Mel's Big Boy Buffet. 831 00:36:57,871 --> 00:36:59,878 Why pay more for fancy food... 832 00:37:00,040 --> 00:37:03,750 when what you really want is meatloaf, squash... 833 00:37:04,044 --> 00:37:05,800 mashed potatoes, and bread pudding... 834 00:37:05,946 --> 00:37:09,656 all at Mel's Big Boy Buffet for just 4.99. 835 00:37:09,884 --> 00:37:11,095 Yes, you heard me right. 836 00:37:11,219 --> 00:37:13,837 $4.99. 837 00:37:14,022 --> 00:37:15,582 Let's bring out Mr. Chuck Akers here... 838 00:37:15,723 --> 00:37:18,538 Mr. Chuck Akers, come out here and give us a song. 839 00:37:18,726 --> 00:37:21,377 The sweet singer of Kandiyohi County... 840 00:37:21,563 --> 00:37:24,083 the heartthrob of mature women everywhere. 841 00:37:24,265 --> 00:37:26,534 My good friend, Mr. Chuck Akers. 842 00:37:26,701 --> 00:37:27,749 Good to see you, sir. 843 00:37:27,870 --> 00:37:28,797 Thank you, sir. 844 00:37:28,903 --> 00:37:32,481 Uh, we would like to bring a song to all of our fans. 845 00:37:32,707 --> 00:37:35,228 Now, that's kind of tough to do, 'cause we're all over the place. 846 00:37:35,411 --> 00:37:37,418 Take me. Yeah, I've bounced all over. 847 00:37:37,580 --> 00:37:42,468 I've done tent shows, schoolhouses, uh, parkin' lots... 848 00:37:42,751 --> 00:37:46,199 the back of trucks, movie theaters, auditoriums. 849 00:37:46,423 --> 00:37:48,113 I've even done churches. 850 00:37:48,257 --> 00:37:49,784 Now, that's hard to believe, I know. 851 00:37:49,925 --> 00:37:51,747 Anyway, this song is for you. 852 00:37:51,895 --> 00:37:54,797 And we mean every word of it, all right? 853 00:37:54,997 --> 00:37:56,372 Sic 'em. 854 00:37:57,733 --> 00:37:58,878 ♪ Hmm ♪ 855 00:37:59,001 --> 00:38:00,408 ♪ Do do do do ♪ 856 00:38:00,537 --> 00:38:02,544 ♪ My bark of life ♪ 857 00:38:02,706 --> 00:38:04,942 ♪ Was tossin' down ♪ 858 00:38:05,108 --> 00:38:09,037 ♪ The troubled stream of time ♪ 859 00:38:09,279 --> 00:38:11,068 ♪ When first I saw ♪ 860 00:38:11,214 --> 00:38:13,189 ♪ Your smilin' face ♪ 861 00:38:13,351 --> 00:38:17,213 ♪ And youth was in its prime ♪ 862 00:38:17,455 --> 00:38:19,691 ♪ Oh, I'll ne'er forget ♪ 863 00:38:19,857 --> 00:38:22,159 ♪ Where'er I roam ♪ 864 00:38:22,326 --> 00:38:26,352 ♪ Wherever you may be ♪ 865 00:38:26,597 --> 00:38:28,485 ♪ If ever I ♪ 866 00:38:28,633 --> 00:38:30,520 ♪ Have had a friend ♪ 867 00:38:30,668 --> 00:38:33,930 ♪ You've been that friend to me ♪ 868 00:38:34,138 --> 00:38:35,066 - Hey, Lola. - Hi. 869 00:38:35,172 --> 00:38:37,692 Heard you're gonna sing a song for us, lookin' forward to that. 870 00:38:37,875 --> 00:38:39,817 Oh, no. I don't... maybe. 871 00:38:39,977 --> 00:38:41,439 Well, it sure would mean the world to your mom. 872 00:38:41,580 --> 00:38:42,986 She always said you had talent. 873 00:38:43,115 --> 00:38:45,482 Yeah, I don't... I don't really know any of their songs. 874 00:38:45,651 --> 00:38:46,992 I only know my own songs. 875 00:38:47,119 --> 00:38:48,526 Well, sing one of them then. 876 00:38:48,654 --> 00:38:50,759 They're mostly about death. 877 00:38:50,922 --> 00:38:52,449 Oh. 878 00:38:52,591 --> 00:38:54,958 Well, lotta good songs about death. 879 00:38:55,128 --> 00:38:57,331 All mine are about suicide. 880 00:38:57,497 --> 00:38:59,220 Oh. 881 00:38:59,364 --> 00:39:02,942 Yeah, you know, um, hangin' yourself with an extension cord... 882 00:39:03,168 --> 00:39:05,819 - carbon monoxide, overdose... - Hey, ahem... 883 00:39:06,005 --> 00:39:09,617 you know, we could do, uh, Amazing Grace together. 884 00:39:09,842 --> 00:39:10,954 I know Amazing Grace. 885 00:39:11,077 --> 00:39:12,255 Yeah? Well, hey, look. 886 00:39:12,378 --> 00:39:14,233 I'll play the guitar, we'll sing it together... 887 00:39:14,380 --> 00:39:15,307 we'll bring this house down. 888 00:39:15,415 --> 00:39:16,342 You know, I don't know if you knew this... 889 00:39:16,449 --> 00:39:18,271 - about my friend Dusty here... - Hey, hey. 890 00:39:18,419 --> 00:39:21,069 But he learned to sing gospel music in San Quentin. 891 00:39:21,255 --> 00:39:22,432 And full shush. 892 00:39:22,555 --> 00:39:23,504 Yes sir, that's where I met him. 893 00:39:23,623 --> 00:39:25,085 I was with Johnny Cash, singin' in prisons. 894 00:39:25,225 --> 00:39:26,240 Shut the pie hole. 895 00:39:26,359 --> 00:39:27,734 There were all these heinous, depraved criminals... 896 00:39:27,861 --> 00:39:29,803 - And well... - Liar, liar. Whatever, moron. 897 00:39:29,963 --> 00:39:31,010 He sang Amazing Grace... 898 00:39:31,131 --> 00:39:33,684 and it almost made you forget what he'd done. 899 00:39:33,867 --> 00:39:35,274 Which I don't wanna talk about. 900 00:39:35,402 --> 00:39:37,736 You know, you are so dumb, you may be twins. 901 00:39:37,906 --> 00:39:40,426 He made me promise on a Bible that I would never tell, and I won't. 902 00:39:40,607 --> 00:39:42,746 So let that be the end of it. Let me just say this, though. 903 00:39:42,911 --> 00:39:44,536 Watch out for hugs. 904 00:39:45,946 --> 00:39:47,091 Heh! 905 00:39:47,214 --> 00:39:48,425 Right. 906 00:39:48,550 --> 00:39:50,338 ♪ If ever I ♪ 907 00:39:50,484 --> 00:39:52,786 ♪ Have had a friend ♪ 908 00:39:52,954 --> 00:39:54,896 ♪ You've been that friend ♪ 909 00:39:55,056 --> 00:39:57,325 - # To me ♪ - # To me ♪ 910 00:39:57,492 --> 00:39:59,859 ♪ If ever I ♪ 911 00:40:00,028 --> 00:40:03,028 ♪ Have had a friend ♪ 912 00:40:03,231 --> 00:40:06,198 ♪ You've been that friend to me ♪ 913 00:40:07,402 --> 00:40:08,646 Thank you. Thank you. 914 00:40:10,405 --> 00:40:11,518 Thank you, G.K. 915 00:40:12,774 --> 00:40:14,814 Mr. Chuck Akers! 916 00:40:14,977 --> 00:40:16,471 Thank you, Chuck. 917 00:40:16,612 --> 00:40:18,139 Robin and Linda Williams. 918 00:40:18,614 --> 00:40:20,370 Let's come in here now with a word about ketchup. 919 00:40:20,516 --> 00:40:24,346 Yes, ketchup, made from tomatoes that contain natural sunshine... 920 00:40:24,588 --> 00:40:26,922 which we need in this part of the country. 921 00:40:27,089 --> 00:40:28,463 We are not a sunshiny people. 922 00:40:28,592 --> 00:40:30,795 We're not a paradise people or a beach people. 923 00:40:30,960 --> 00:40:32,389 We are dark people. 924 00:40:32,528 --> 00:40:34,601 People who believed it could be worse. 925 00:40:34,765 --> 00:40:36,903 And we're waiting for it to become worse. 926 00:40:37,066 --> 00:40:39,433 We come from people who brought us up to believe... 927 00:40:39,602 --> 00:40:41,577 that life is a struggle... 928 00:40:41,738 --> 00:40:43,778 and if you should ever feel really happy... 929 00:40:43,940 --> 00:40:46,176 be patient. This will pass. 930 00:40:46,343 --> 00:40:47,456 - Ha ha ha. - So we could... 931 00:40:47,577 --> 00:40:48,504 When do you guys go on? 932 00:40:48,612 --> 00:40:52,736 As soon as ol' spud butt here shuts his yapper. 933 00:40:52,983 --> 00:40:54,129 Thanks for the encouragement. 934 00:40:54,252 --> 00:40:56,139 Hey, you are gonna be great. Give me a hug. 935 00:40:56,286 --> 00:40:56,984 All right, guys. 936 00:40:57,321 --> 00:40:58,499 More show in just a moment... 937 00:40:58,622 --> 00:41:01,110 but let's come in here now with a word about shoes! 938 00:41:01,292 --> 00:41:03,332 That's Guy's Shoes. Boys... 939 00:41:03,494 --> 00:41:05,796 ♪ Talkin' shoes ♪ 940 00:41:05,963 --> 00:41:07,621 ♪ Talkin' Guy's ♪ 941 00:41:07,765 --> 00:41:11,540 ♪ Any two, any size ♪ 942 00:41:11,769 --> 00:41:13,776 ♪ From your ankles to your toes ♪ 943 00:41:13,938 --> 00:41:15,793 ♪ At the bottom of your clothes ♪ 944 00:41:15,940 --> 00:41:17,664 ♪ You're talkin' shoes ♪ 945 00:41:17,810 --> 00:41:19,239 ♪ Talkin' Guy's ♪ 946 00:41:20,478 --> 00:41:22,333 Yes, Guy's Shoes. They're made to last. 947 00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:25,328 Ask about those Guy's Cash Shoes, with the hole in the soles... 948 00:41:25,517 --> 00:41:28,299 so you stash your cash when you're out on the trail. 949 00:41:28,487 --> 00:41:29,567 Isn't that right, Lefty? 950 00:41:29,688 --> 00:41:30,932 That's where I keep mine, G.K. 951 00:41:31,056 --> 00:41:32,365 All right. Let's welcome 'em now... 952 00:41:32,491 --> 00:41:33,920 the old trail hands here... 953 00:41:34,059 --> 00:41:37,354 the Pachelbels of the prairie, the Brahmses of the bunkhouse... 954 00:41:37,564 --> 00:41:39,189 here they are, Dusty and Lefty. 955 00:41:39,331 --> 00:41:41,186 - Good to have you with us. - Well, thank you, Garrison. 956 00:41:41,333 --> 00:41:42,893 Yes sir, it's good to be back on the show... 957 00:41:43,035 --> 00:41:45,752 because, you know, it gets mighty lonesome out there on the prairie. 958 00:41:45,938 --> 00:41:48,459 And a cowboy gets tired of scenery after a while. 959 00:41:48,641 --> 00:41:51,575 You get, well, sceneried out, and uh... 960 00:41:51,778 --> 00:41:55,095 sort of wish you had somebody to talk to. 961 00:41:55,315 --> 00:41:56,243 Somebody smart. 962 00:41:56,349 --> 00:41:57,276 - Hmm. - Ha ha ha. 963 00:41:57,383 --> 00:42:00,732 So you're lonesome for people, huh? 964 00:42:00,954 --> 00:42:02,710 Well, you know, it's true, Garrison. 965 00:42:02,857 --> 00:42:06,152 And, uh, it-it ain't the same just talkin' to your horse. 966 00:42:06,359 --> 00:42:08,050 My horse is extremely smart. 967 00:42:08,195 --> 00:42:10,399 Uh, he knows math. 968 00:42:10,564 --> 00:42:13,019 He knows physics and chemistry... 969 00:42:13,200 --> 00:42:15,339 but I can't seem to teach him philosophy. 970 00:42:15,502 --> 00:42:17,062 Can't teach him philosophy, eh? 971 00:42:17,204 --> 00:42:19,375 Well, no. You can't put Descartes before the horse. 972 00:42:19,540 --> 00:42:20,468 - Aw... - Ha ha ha. 973 00:42:20,574 --> 00:42:21,654 That was a good one, you know? 974 00:42:22,878 --> 00:42:25,049 Well, what do you reckon we sing a song, Dusty? 975 00:42:25,212 --> 00:42:26,422 Well, let's do it, Lefty. 976 00:42:26,547 --> 00:42:28,369 One, two, you know what to do. 977 00:42:33,721 --> 00:42:35,510 ♪ I'm just an old cowboy ♪ 978 00:42:35,657 --> 00:42:37,413 ♪ With twigs in my hair ♪ 979 00:42:37,559 --> 00:42:39,469 ♪ Two-thirds alligator ♪ 980 00:42:39,627 --> 00:42:41,537 ♪ And three-quarters bear ♪ 981 00:42:41,696 --> 00:42:43,670 ♪ And one half a lion ♪ 982 00:42:43,832 --> 00:42:45,523 ♪ But let it be known ♪ 983 00:42:45,667 --> 00:42:47,423 ♪ I never told one lie ♪ 984 00:42:47,569 --> 00:42:49,130 ♪ That was not my own ♪ 985 00:42:49,271 --> 00:42:51,443 ♪ Whoopi-ti-yi-yo ♪ 986 00:42:51,607 --> 00:42:55,568 ♪ Get along, little dogie ♪ 987 00:42:55,811 --> 00:42:57,633 ♪ I eat when I'm hungry ♪ 988 00:42:57,780 --> 00:42:59,503 ♪ I'll drink when I'm dry ♪ 989 00:42:59,648 --> 00:43:01,437 ♪ Don't boss me or cross me ♪ 990 00:43:01,584 --> 00:43:03,210 ♪ Or I'll spit in your eye ♪ 991 00:43:03,352 --> 00:43:05,108 ♪ I think what I please ♪ 992 00:43:05,254 --> 00:43:07,458 ♪ And I say what I mean ♪ 993 00:43:07,623 --> 00:43:09,281 ♪ And I think all you women ♪ 994 00:43:09,425 --> 00:43:11,280 ♪ Are the finest I've seen ♪ 995 00:43:11,427 --> 00:43:13,369 ♪ Whoopi-ti-yi-yo... ♪ 996 00:43:13,529 --> 00:43:16,017 So my mom said, um... 997 00:43:16,199 --> 00:43:18,021 my mom said, you got into radio... 998 00:43:18,168 --> 00:43:21,910 uh, when someone was flying a kite whose clothes came off? Ha. 999 00:43:22,138 --> 00:43:24,146 A naked man flying. Quite a sight. 1000 00:43:24,307 --> 00:43:26,130 Why didn't he pull his shorts up? 1001 00:43:27,644 --> 00:43:30,513 He was hanging on to the kite, couldn't let go. 1002 00:43:30,714 --> 00:43:32,274 - He was up high. - Ha. 1003 00:43:32,416 --> 00:43:34,304 A hundred feet up in the air... 1004 00:43:34,451 --> 00:43:35,978 fifty. 1005 00:43:36,120 --> 00:43:37,429 Ha. 1006 00:43:37,555 --> 00:43:39,595 So, how did that get you into radio? 1007 00:43:39,757 --> 00:43:41,862 Well, that was how I met your dad. 1008 00:43:42,994 --> 00:43:44,074 Here comes the solo. 1009 00:43:53,605 --> 00:43:55,547 Yeah, real good. Real good. 1010 00:43:55,707 --> 00:43:57,169 - Wait, naked guy... - Yeah? 1011 00:43:57,308 --> 00:43:58,486 - Was my dad? - Right. 1012 00:43:58,610 --> 00:43:59,886 Ha. 1013 00:44:00,011 --> 00:44:03,623 Naked man with red swim trunks around his ankles. 1014 00:44:03,849 --> 00:44:05,475 Couple thousand people saw it... 1015 00:44:05,617 --> 00:44:07,820 so we figured it was a good time to leave town... 1016 00:44:07,986 --> 00:44:11,402 so we got a car, and we headed down to Chicago. 1017 00:44:11,623 --> 00:44:12,550 ♪ We ride in the snow ♪ 1018 00:44:12,658 --> 00:44:14,698 ♪ And we ride in the rain ♪ 1019 00:44:14,860 --> 00:44:16,583 ♪ Just like Gene Autry ♪ 1020 00:44:16,729 --> 00:44:18,901 ♪ Just like John Wayne ♪ 1021 00:44:19,064 --> 00:44:20,624 ♪ They were better cowboys ♪ 1022 00:44:20,766 --> 00:44:22,424 ♪ Than us and I mean it ♪ 1023 00:44:22,568 --> 00:44:24,292 ♪ But we are still livin' ♪ 1024 00:44:24,437 --> 00:44:26,346 ♪ And that is convenient ♪ 1025 00:44:26,506 --> 00:44:27,521 ♪ Huh! ♪ 1026 00:44:27,640 --> 00:44:29,134 ♪ Pi-ti-yi-yo ♪ 1027 00:44:29,275 --> 00:44:32,471 ♪ Get along, little dogie ♪ 1028 00:44:32,679 --> 00:44:33,606 ♪ Huh! ♪ 1029 00:44:33,713 --> 00:44:35,054 ♪ Pi-ti-yi-yo ♪ 1030 00:44:35,181 --> 00:44:39,010 ♪ Get along, little dogies ♪ 1031 00:44:41,388 --> 00:44:43,014 I go in to pay for the gas... 1032 00:44:43,123 --> 00:44:45,840 and he wakes up and decides he needs to use the men's room. 1033 00:44:46,026 --> 00:44:47,782 So I come back. 1034 00:44:47,928 --> 00:44:50,294 I think he's still sleeping in the back seat... 1035 00:44:50,464 --> 00:44:54,238 and I get behind the wheel, and I drive to Chicago. 1036 00:44:54,468 --> 00:44:55,744 I leave him there in Oshkosh. 1037 00:44:55,870 --> 00:45:00,889 And he goes into the café, and your mother was the waitress. 1038 00:45:01,175 --> 00:45:02,157 That's how they met. 1039 00:45:02,276 --> 00:45:04,283 That's how I came to be born. 1040 00:45:04,445 --> 00:45:07,707 Well, it kind of led to that, yeah. 1041 00:45:07,915 --> 00:45:10,054 Yeah, but I mean if you had looked in the back seat... 1042 00:45:10,218 --> 00:45:12,705 and... and seen that he wasn't there, I wouldn't exist. 1043 00:45:12,887 --> 00:45:17,459 Well, he and I weren't getting along that well, so that's why. 1044 00:45:19,060 --> 00:45:20,108 That's really strange. 1045 00:45:20,228 --> 00:45:23,424 Well, no. I think it's one... 1046 00:45:23,632 --> 00:45:26,021 of the most beautiful things I ever did not do. 1047 00:45:29,304 --> 00:45:32,304 So how'd you get into radio then? 1048 00:45:32,508 --> 00:45:35,322 Well, there was a show called, uh, The Baked Bean Jubilee. 1049 00:45:35,511 --> 00:45:37,365 - Yeah, with my dad. - With your dad, right. 1050 00:45:37,513 --> 00:45:39,422 - Happy Baked Beans. - Happy Baked Beans, you know? 1051 00:45:39,582 --> 00:45:41,786 ♪ Happy Baked Beans ♪ 1052 00:45:41,951 --> 00:45:42,878 ♪ Are nutritious ♪ 1053 00:45:42,984 --> 00:45:43,912 Shh! Keep your voices down! 1054 00:45:44,020 --> 00:45:46,093 ♪ Made the natural way ♪ 1055 00:45:46,255 --> 00:45:48,589 - Keep your voices down! - # Made of natural fiber ♪ 1056 00:45:48,758 --> 00:45:49,685 Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! 1057 00:45:49,792 --> 00:45:51,614 ♪ Try some, you will say ♪ 1058 00:45:51,761 --> 00:45:53,616 - There's a show going on! - # They are nature's fruit ♪ 1059 00:45:53,763 --> 00:45:55,836 ♪ Root-ti-toot-toot-toot ♪ 1060 00:45:55,998 --> 00:45:57,941 ♪ Try baked beans ♪ 1061 00:45:58,101 --> 00:46:01,746 ♪ Every day ♪ 1062 00:46:22,260 --> 00:46:23,820 ♪ Ooh, baby ♪ 1063 00:46:23,961 --> 00:46:25,455 - # You're my man ♪ - Mmm. Hmm! 1064 00:46:25,596 --> 00:46:27,985 ♪ Ahh, ooh, you do what... ♪ 1065 00:46:28,499 --> 00:46:29,906 Let's come in here now with some cards and letters... 1066 00:46:30,001 --> 00:46:32,368 from the friends and neighbors out there. 1067 00:46:32,537 --> 00:46:34,806 So good to know that you're out there listening. 1068 00:46:34,973 --> 00:46:37,723 Here's a little note here from Aaron... 1069 00:46:37,909 --> 00:46:40,048 who says our show is a source of comfort and laughter for him. 1070 00:46:40,212 --> 00:46:42,448 - And he's hoping... - And he's hopin' that the Johnson Girls... 1071 00:46:42,614 --> 00:46:43,661 he's goin' to hear them shake their hips a little... 1072 00:46:43,781 --> 00:46:46,367 and sing Touch me, Kiss me, Be my man. 1073 00:46:46,552 --> 00:46:48,407 No, he was just joking, he says. 1074 00:46:48,554 --> 00:46:49,601 Just joking about that. 1075 00:46:49,722 --> 00:46:52,624 He was hoping that we would sing, uh, Gold Watch and Chain. 1076 00:46:52,825 --> 00:46:53,937 - Oh. Oh, I bet. - Yolanda. 1077 00:46:54,058 --> 00:46:55,236 Yolanda and I. 1078 00:46:55,361 --> 00:46:56,823 So let's bring up Yolanda here. 1079 00:46:56,962 --> 00:47:00,060 This beautiful old song Gold Watch and Chain. Boys. 1080 00:47:05,838 --> 00:47:10,344 ♪ Darlin', how can I stay here without you? ♪ 1081 00:47:10,610 --> 00:47:15,116 ♪ I have nothing to ease my poor heart ♪ 1082 00:47:15,382 --> 00:47:19,790 ♪ All the world would seem sad, dear, without you ♪ 1083 00:47:20,053 --> 00:47:24,624 ♪ Tell me now that we never will part ♪ 1084 00:47:24,892 --> 00:47:29,463 ♪ I will pawn you my gold watch and chain, love ♪ 1085 00:47:29,729 --> 00:47:34,170 ♪ I will pawn you my gold wedding ring ♪ 1086 00:47:34,435 --> 00:47:36,573 ♪ I will pawn you this... ♪ 1087 00:47:36,736 --> 00:47:38,078 - Molly? - What? 1088 00:47:38,206 --> 00:47:39,319 Would you come here a moment? 1089 00:47:40,473 --> 00:47:41,651 What is it, Guy? 1090 00:47:43,311 --> 00:47:45,700 Um, I just want to... 1091 00:47:45,880 --> 00:47:47,287 Oh... 1092 00:47:47,415 --> 00:47:49,935 You are fat. 1093 00:47:53,154 --> 00:47:58,391 Y-you might think about cutting down on the, um, desserts and the beer. 1094 00:47:58,694 --> 00:48:01,596 And also possibly sex with men. 1095 00:48:01,797 --> 00:48:05,539 W-when did... when did this take place? 1096 00:48:05,767 --> 00:48:07,109 Who... who did this to you? 1097 00:48:08,938 --> 00:48:12,931 Ahh, yes, Lefty, Dusty, are... are you boys aware of this? 1098 00:48:13,175 --> 00:48:16,491 O-our little girl's going to be a-a single mom. 1099 00:48:16,712 --> 00:48:18,567 - You poor thing. - Thank you. 1100 00:48:18,714 --> 00:48:21,048 I'll swear on a stack of Bibles it wasn't me, darlin'. 1101 00:48:21,217 --> 00:48:24,119 Oh, that's great to know, Dusty. Thanks. 1102 00:48:24,320 --> 00:48:26,229 ♪ Do not scorn her ♪ 1103 00:48:26,389 --> 00:48:30,317 ♪ With words fierce and bitter ♪ 1104 00:48:30,560 --> 00:48:35,710 ♪ Do not laugh at her shame and downfall ♪ 1105 00:48:35,999 --> 00:48:37,046 You should sit. 1106 00:48:37,166 --> 00:48:41,673 ♪ For a moment, just stop and consider ♪ 1107 00:48:41,939 --> 00:48:42,986 Just ignore them. 1108 00:48:43,107 --> 00:48:49,217 ♪ That a man was the cause of it all ♪ 1109 00:48:49,546 --> 00:48:50,855 Dusty! 1110 00:48:50,981 --> 00:48:52,442 Yo! 1111 00:48:52,583 --> 00:48:53,630 That reminds me. 1112 00:48:53,751 --> 00:48:56,140 About that obscene song you sang last week. 1113 00:48:56,320 --> 00:48:57,945 - Obscene? Uh... - Yeah. 1114 00:48:58,088 --> 00:49:00,576 'I'll give you my moonshine if you show me your jugs'? 1115 00:49:00,758 --> 00:49:02,700 No, not that one. 1116 00:49:02,860 --> 00:49:04,999 'Lovin' you ain't easy, but I hear your sister is'? 1117 00:49:05,163 --> 00:49:07,399 No, no, no. 'Come ride my pony all night long. 1118 00:49:07,564 --> 00:49:09,637 'Come ride him bareback, I'll sing you a song.' That one. 1119 00:49:09,801 --> 00:49:11,426 That's just a song about ridin' a pony. 1120 00:49:11,569 --> 00:49:13,391 Mmm. 1121 00:49:13,538 --> 00:49:15,425 Oh, what... what the hell did you think it was about? 1122 00:49:15,573 --> 00:49:17,581 Let's go out with a little style, OK? 1123 00:49:17,742 --> 00:49:18,790 What do you say? 1124 00:49:18,911 --> 00:49:20,471 'Go out'? What do you mean? 1125 00:49:20,612 --> 00:49:21,659 Just what I said. 1126 00:49:21,780 --> 00:49:23,689 'Go out?' You mean me? 1127 00:49:23,848 --> 00:49:25,223 All of us. 1128 00:49:25,351 --> 00:49:27,206 What the Sam Hill are you talkin' about, mister? 1129 00:49:27,353 --> 00:49:28,280 - Ohh. Hold on. - Hey. 1130 00:49:28,386 --> 00:49:30,361 Got some nice egg salad sandwiches if you're hungry. 1131 00:49:30,523 --> 00:49:31,505 No gunplay backstage. 1132 00:49:31,624 --> 00:49:33,380 I'm hungry. I'm always hungry. 1133 00:49:33,526 --> 00:49:34,933 Did you know that she's pregnant? 1134 00:49:35,061 --> 00:49:37,614 ♪ And can't be returned ♪ 1135 00:49:37,797 --> 00:49:42,107 ♪ You have left me and gone to another ♪ 1136 00:49:42,368 --> 00:49:46,841 ♪ All my hopes and bridges are burned ♪ 1137 00:49:47,107 --> 00:49:51,744 ♪ But I will pawn you my gold watch and chain, love ♪ 1138 00:49:52,012 --> 00:49:56,834 ♪ And I will pawn you my gold wedding ring ♪ 1139 00:49:57,117 --> 00:50:01,656 ♪ I will pawn you this heart in my bosom ♪ 1140 00:50:01,922 --> 00:50:06,461 ♪ Only say that you'll love me again ♪ 1141 00:50:06,727 --> 00:50:11,266 ♪ Only say that you'll love me again ♪ 1142 00:50:11,531 --> 00:50:15,787 ♪ Only say that you'll love me again ♪ 1143 00:50:16,037 --> 00:50:17,411 Hee hee. 1144 00:50:19,706 --> 00:50:20,535 Thank you, Yolanda. 1145 00:50:20,641 --> 00:50:22,332 What a beautiful, beautiful song. 1146 00:50:22,477 --> 00:50:24,386 This portion of our show is brought to you... 1147 00:50:24,545 --> 00:50:26,138 by Powdermilk Biscuits... 1148 00:50:26,280 --> 00:50:29,247 and also brought to you by duct tape. 1149 00:50:29,450 --> 00:50:31,011 Duct tape. Yes, duct tape. 1150 00:50:31,153 --> 00:50:33,357 Duct tape. 1151 00:50:33,522 --> 00:50:35,594 Useful thing around the household... 1152 00:50:35,757 --> 00:50:38,692 almost anything that comes up around the household. 1153 00:50:38,894 --> 00:50:41,741 Sometimes you need to make repairs, doors come loose... 1154 00:50:41,929 --> 00:50:44,679 and windows, all sorts of things can happen. 1155 00:50:44,867 --> 00:50:48,828 Sometimes you just forget something that you're looking for... 1156 00:50:49,071 --> 00:50:50,794 and duct tape can come in handy. 1157 00:50:50,939 --> 00:50:54,234 You can wrap it around your finger like a string or something. 1158 00:50:54,444 --> 00:50:55,873 You can just tape it up. Whatever. 1159 00:50:56,011 --> 00:50:57,440 Things do tend to fall apart, you know. 1160 00:50:57,579 --> 00:51:01,573 Confusion reins endemic in our world today. 1161 00:51:01,818 --> 00:51:03,672 - Just things tend to drift... - Oh, jeez. 1162 00:51:03,820 --> 00:51:06,154 And especially as you get to be older... 1163 00:51:06,322 --> 00:51:08,329 duct tape is the most useful thing you'll find. 1164 00:51:08,490 --> 00:51:10,912 All repairs are short term. We know that. 1165 00:51:11,094 --> 00:51:15,250 Say a faucet should be dripping and you, and you... 1166 00:51:16,200 --> 00:51:18,621 The water is falling there, dripping onto your cupboard... 1167 00:51:18,802 --> 00:51:21,769 and the... and the wood comes loose from the wall... 1168 00:51:21,971 --> 00:51:23,662 and you need something to fix it. 1169 00:51:23,807 --> 00:51:26,295 Just reach for a roll of duct tape. 1170 00:51:26,477 --> 00:51:28,615 That would be the... the perfect thing. 1171 00:51:28,778 --> 00:51:31,746 Or maybe your orangutano's been jumpin' up and down on it. 1172 00:51:33,584 --> 00:51:35,885 The weight of the orangutan has, like, you know, crushed... 1173 00:51:36,053 --> 00:51:37,428 uh, crushed part of the counter. 1174 00:51:37,555 --> 00:51:39,082 And... and then your Rottweiler... 1175 00:51:39,224 --> 00:51:41,679 he comes runnin' out and he bites the orangutan in the hinder. 1176 00:51:41,860 --> 00:51:43,485 Gets him all riled up. 1177 00:51:44,261 --> 00:51:45,189 Hey. 1178 00:51:45,297 --> 00:51:47,686 The Rottweiler, actually, is locked in the basement. 1179 00:51:47,866 --> 00:51:48,793 Sorry to correct you there, Rhonda. 1180 00:51:48,899 --> 00:51:49,914 I can hear them goin' at it. 1181 00:51:50,035 --> 00:51:52,206 - He's down locked in the basement. - The Rottweiler and the orangutan. 1182 00:51:52,370 --> 00:51:53,417 A double lock there. 1183 00:51:53,537 --> 00:51:54,966 Because the... uh, the orangutan, you know... 1184 00:51:55,106 --> 00:51:57,561 They got, uh, the fingers and he's got a saw. 1185 00:51:59,377 --> 00:52:00,904 A chainsaw. 1186 00:52:02,214 --> 00:52:04,548 He cut a big hole in the door and the Rottweiler got out. 1187 00:52:04,716 --> 00:52:07,237 That's how he bit the orangutan in the hinder. 1188 00:52:09,522 --> 00:52:11,758 And then... and then don't forget about the peacock. 1189 00:52:13,893 --> 00:52:15,802 And then the flock. Uh, overhead there was... 1190 00:52:15,962 --> 00:52:17,784 a big helicopter came flyin' through. 1191 00:52:19,899 --> 00:52:21,873 Right through a flock of Canadian geese. 1192 00:52:23,703 --> 00:52:26,637 And, uh, really was gettin' someone's goose was cooked. 1193 00:52:26,839 --> 00:52:27,854 And then they startled the peacock. 1194 00:52:29,710 --> 00:52:30,757 Yeah! Then... 1195 00:52:30,877 --> 00:52:31,924 And then this... this sick... 1196 00:52:32,044 --> 00:52:33,091 - The peacock. - No, wait. 1197 00:52:33,212 --> 00:52:36,922 This sadist... this sadist in uh, sneakers was creepin' up on everybody. 1198 00:52:37,150 --> 00:52:41,176 And the peacock, he... uh... he jumps right at the orangutan. 1199 00:52:41,421 --> 00:52:43,560 His beak... 1200 00:52:43,724 --> 00:52:47,466 yeah... is flashing like a scimitar. 1201 00:52:47,694 --> 00:52:51,688 Yeah, but the, uh, but his aim is... uh, goes awry and it... and then, um... 1202 00:52:51,933 --> 00:52:53,110 He takes that chainsaw and he throws it. 1203 00:52:53,233 --> 00:52:55,535 The orangutan throws it at the peacock. 1204 00:52:55,702 --> 00:52:57,011 But he's got a bad aim. The aim. 1205 00:52:57,137 --> 00:52:59,593 It goes right through a plate-glass window. 1206 00:52:59,773 --> 00:53:00,821 But it almost... 1207 00:53:02,443 --> 00:53:03,872 Yeah... hits the mailman. 1208 00:53:04,012 --> 00:53:05,059 Wow! Oh! 1209 00:53:05,179 --> 00:53:08,562 Murray. But doesn't. It misses him by inches. 1210 00:53:08,783 --> 00:53:13,737 And by the way, he's bringin' you a letter from your ex-girlfriend. Remember her? 1211 00:53:14,022 --> 00:53:17,283 Who is still furious at you for having dumped her. 1212 00:53:17,493 --> 00:53:21,649 You know, just thrown her aside, the woman who loved you. 1213 00:53:21,896 --> 00:53:23,107 Just because you found somebody new. 1214 00:53:23,232 --> 00:53:24,825 How could you do that? 1215 00:53:24,967 --> 00:53:28,512 She will never understand. And, um... 1216 00:53:28,737 --> 00:53:31,290 duct tape isn't gonna help you with that one bit. 1217 00:53:31,473 --> 00:53:32,618 No, I suppose not, but with two out of... 1218 00:53:32,741 --> 00:53:34,846 And duct tape is not gonna make an honest man out of you. 1219 00:53:36,111 --> 00:53:39,689 No, it won't. But with two out of three chores around the home, duct tape. 1220 00:53:39,915 --> 00:53:41,671 And it isn't even gonna help you find whatever it was... 1221 00:53:41,817 --> 00:53:44,305 you were lookin' for, so... what were you lookin' for? 1222 00:53:44,486 --> 00:53:45,915 I was lookin' for duct tape. Duct tape. 1223 00:53:46,056 --> 00:53:47,911 All repairs are temporary and short term. 1224 00:53:48,058 --> 00:53:49,138 It's almost just about the only thing... 1225 00:53:49,259 --> 00:53:52,739 that really works sometimes, and that is duct tape. 1226 00:53:52,963 --> 00:53:55,232 More of A Prairie Home Companion here in just a moment... 1227 00:53:55,465 --> 00:53:58,727 right after we come in with a word about coffee. 1228 00:53:58,935 --> 00:54:02,513 Yes, Jearlyn, nothing stimulates a person... 1229 00:54:02,739 --> 00:54:07,474 keeps you focused quite like good old caffeine. 1230 00:54:07,744 --> 00:54:08,792 Black coffee. 1231 00:54:08,913 --> 00:54:12,262 Mmm. So good. I'm glad you like it, too. 1232 00:54:14,384 --> 00:54:16,140 ♪ Smells so lovely when you pour it ♪ 1233 00:54:16,287 --> 00:54:19,450 ♪ You will want to drink a quart of coffee ♪ 1234 00:54:21,660 --> 00:54:23,154 ♪ It's delicious all alone ♪ 1235 00:54:23,295 --> 00:54:25,334 ♪ It's also good with doughnuts ♪ 1236 00:54:25,496 --> 00:54:26,925 ♪ Black coffee ♪ 1237 00:54:28,866 --> 00:54:30,721 ♪ Coffee stimulates your urges ♪ 1238 00:54:30,868 --> 00:54:32,330 ♪ It's served in Lutheran churches ♪ 1239 00:54:32,471 --> 00:54:34,380 ♪ Keeps the Swedes and the Germans ♪ 1240 00:54:34,539 --> 00:54:36,328 ♪ Awake through the sermons ♪ 1241 00:54:36,475 --> 00:54:38,035 ♪ Have a pot of it today ♪ 1242 00:54:38,176 --> 00:54:41,176 ♪ I'm sure you'll say it's awfully good coffee ♪ 1243 00:54:47,919 --> 00:54:50,537 Chuck? I'm ready for you now. 1244 00:54:52,724 --> 00:54:53,771 Chuck? 1245 00:54:53,892 --> 00:54:55,616 ♪ Much too long ♪ 1246 00:54:55,762 --> 00:54:58,347 Hey, you decent? Chuck? 1247 00:55:00,867 --> 00:55:02,525 Whoa! 1248 00:55:02,669 --> 00:55:05,735 Chuck, what you got goin' in here, huh? 1249 00:55:05,938 --> 00:55:07,280 Huh! 1250 00:55:07,407 --> 00:55:09,741 Candles and music and... 1251 00:55:09,909 --> 00:55:13,106 Hey, hey, wake up, buddy. 1252 00:55:13,312 --> 00:55:14,392 Hey... Chu... 1253 00:55:15,516 --> 00:55:16,792 Chuck? 1254 00:55:17,217 --> 00:55:20,533 ♪ Oh, my Lord does just what he said ♪ 1255 00:55:20,720 --> 00:55:24,550 ♪ Let the light from the lighthouse shine on me ♪ 1256 00:55:24,792 --> 00:55:28,566 ♪ He healed the sick and He raised the dead ♪ 1257 00:55:28,796 --> 00:55:33,018 ♪ Let the light from the lighthouse shine on me ♪ 1258 00:55:33,268 --> 00:55:34,729 ♪ Shine on ♪ 1259 00:55:34,868 --> 00:55:36,777 ♪ Let it shine on ♪ 1260 00:55:36,937 --> 00:55:41,444 ♪ Let the light from the lighthouse shine on me ♪ 1261 00:55:46,013 --> 00:55:49,112 ♪ From the lighthouse shine on me ♪ 1262 00:55:53,088 --> 00:55:57,179 ♪ Let the light from the lighthouse shine on me ♪ 1263 00:55:57,425 --> 00:56:00,905 ♪ Oh, this whole world's gonna reel and rock ♪ 1264 00:56:01,129 --> 00:56:05,221 ♪ Let the light from the lighthouse shine on me ♪ 1265 00:56:06,768 --> 00:56:08,656 Honey? It's me. 1266 00:56:10,306 --> 00:56:13,535 Ready or not, here I come. 1267 00:56:13,743 --> 00:56:19,656 I am lookin' for a big hot dog to put in my bun, you old dog, you. 1268 00:56:19,982 --> 00:56:22,917 Why you hidin' from me? 1269 00:56:23,120 --> 00:56:25,487 Wake up. Wake up, sugar. 1270 00:56:32,295 --> 00:56:34,270 Oh! 1271 00:56:34,430 --> 00:56:35,510 Chuck? 1272 00:56:39,536 --> 00:56:41,675 Chuck! Chuck! 1273 00:56:41,838 --> 00:56:44,685 It's OK. It's OK. It's OK. 1274 00:56:45,842 --> 00:56:48,111 But how can he be dead? 1275 00:56:48,278 --> 00:56:49,904 He just went away, that's all. 1276 00:56:50,047 --> 00:56:53,178 Oh, my Chuck. 1277 00:56:53,383 --> 00:56:54,812 My baby. 1278 00:56:54,952 --> 00:56:57,669 The death of an old man is not a tragedy. 1279 00:56:57,855 --> 00:56:59,644 Oh... 1280 00:56:59,791 --> 00:57:01,798 I don't want him to go. 1281 00:57:02,960 --> 00:57:07,597 Forgive him his shortcomings and thank him for all of his love and care. 1282 00:57:07,865 --> 00:57:10,385 ♪ Shine on ♪ 1283 00:57:10,568 --> 00:57:12,423 ♪ Let it shine on ♪ 1284 00:57:12,570 --> 00:57:16,531 ♪ Let the light from the lighthouse shine on me ♪ 1285 00:57:16,775 --> 00:57:18,401 Good-bye, baby. 1286 00:57:18,544 --> 00:57:20,332 ♪ Let it shine on ♪ 1287 00:57:20,478 --> 00:57:23,129 ♪ Let the light from the lighthouse shine on me ♪ 1288 00:57:23,315 --> 00:57:24,657 Ohh! Ooh! 1289 00:57:24,783 --> 00:57:26,277 ♪ Shine ♪ 1290 00:57:26,418 --> 00:57:28,273 ♪ Let it shine ♪ 1291 00:57:28,420 --> 00:57:31,868 ♪ Let the light from the lighthouse shine on me ♪ 1292 00:57:32,091 --> 00:57:34,196 ♪ Shine ♪ 1293 00:57:34,360 --> 00:57:36,182 ♪ Let it shine ♪ 1294 00:57:36,328 --> 00:57:39,492 ♪ Let the light from the lighthouse ♪ 1295 00:57:39,698 --> 00:57:45,263 ♪ Shine on ♪ 1296 00:57:45,572 --> 00:57:50,656 ♪ Me ♪ 1297 00:57:54,949 --> 00:57:55,996 Thank you so much. 1298 00:57:56,116 --> 00:57:58,221 Time to break now for station identification. 1299 00:57:58,385 --> 00:58:01,385 And we'll right back with more right after this. 1300 00:58:11,332 --> 00:58:14,430 Ladies and gentlemen, we are now at nine minutes to broadcast, please. 1301 00:58:14,635 --> 00:58:15,682 Nine minutes. 1302 00:58:16,972 --> 00:58:19,011 Hey. No smokin', mister. 1303 00:58:20,808 --> 00:58:23,972 Chuck Akers is dead. He's gone. 1304 00:58:25,213 --> 00:58:29,010 I don't follow your reasoning there. 1305 00:58:29,251 --> 00:58:31,356 I said Chuck is dead. 1306 00:58:33,121 --> 00:58:34,398 Who's dead? 1307 00:58:34,522 --> 00:58:35,766 Chuck. 1308 00:58:37,759 --> 00:58:38,839 When? 1309 00:58:38,960 --> 00:58:40,585 Now. 1310 00:58:40,729 --> 00:58:42,290 He just died now? 1311 00:58:42,431 --> 00:58:43,860 I don't know when the hell he died. 1312 00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:46,388 I wasn't there. 1313 00:58:46,568 --> 00:58:48,510 What was the approximate time of death? 1314 00:58:48,670 --> 00:58:51,158 Recent. Why don't you go check it out for yourself. 1315 00:58:51,340 --> 00:58:52,584 He's in there. 1316 00:58:54,043 --> 00:58:56,596 Does anyone else know about this? 1317 00:58:56,779 --> 00:58:58,535 I have no idea. 1318 00:58:58,681 --> 00:59:00,623 Because if anyone else knows about this and they're not saying anything... 1319 00:59:00,783 --> 00:59:01,896 I need to know about that. 1320 00:59:09,559 --> 00:59:10,639 Excuse me. 1321 00:59:18,735 --> 00:59:20,295 I used to listen to your show... 1322 00:59:22,239 --> 00:59:23,800 until I died. 1323 00:59:26,243 --> 00:59:28,131 My name was Lois Peterson. 1324 00:59:31,382 --> 00:59:33,170 I was driving up to this cabin up north... 1325 00:59:33,318 --> 00:59:36,830 and you were telling a story and I was laughing. 1326 00:59:38,622 --> 00:59:42,332 And then the car skidded off the road and into a ditch and it flipped. 1327 00:59:42,560 --> 00:59:45,527 And as it did, the thought occurred to me... 1328 00:59:45,730 --> 00:59:49,658 that the story just wasn't that funny. 1329 00:59:52,771 --> 00:59:54,658 And then... 1330 00:59:54,806 --> 01:00:01,647 I was standing in this tall grass looking down at my own body. 1331 01:00:02,014 --> 01:00:03,061 Hmm. 1332 01:00:03,181 --> 01:00:04,905 So sorry. 1333 01:00:06,952 --> 01:00:10,301 I was on my way to that cabin to meet my lover Larry. 1334 01:00:10,522 --> 01:00:15,224 We had been planning it for over two months. 1335 01:00:16,529 --> 01:00:22,890 And because of your story, I lost control and I died. 1336 01:00:23,236 --> 01:00:25,276 - So... - I'm so sorry. 1337 01:00:25,438 --> 01:00:27,991 So you killed me, in a way. 1338 01:00:28,174 --> 01:00:29,548 Isn't that interesting? 1339 01:00:30,810 --> 01:00:33,843 He's quite dead. 1340 01:00:34,047 --> 01:00:35,421 Just a half an hour ago he was walkin' around... 1341 01:00:35,549 --> 01:00:38,363 exchangin' the gases with the atmosphere. 1342 01:00:38,552 --> 01:00:40,340 Well, there's a lot more out than in now. 1343 01:00:40,487 --> 01:00:41,796 We should call the cops. 1344 01:00:41,922 --> 01:00:42,969 No. 1345 01:00:43,090 --> 01:00:45,708 When the time is right, I'll make the call. 1346 01:00:45,893 --> 01:00:46,940 You... just, um... 1347 01:00:47,061 --> 01:00:49,647 All right. We're at five minutes from broadcast. 1348 01:00:49,830 --> 01:00:51,204 Don't talk about this to anyone. All right? 1349 01:00:51,332 --> 01:00:53,056 Keep it under your hat. 1350 01:00:53,200 --> 01:00:54,247 Go about your business. 1351 01:00:58,673 --> 01:01:00,199 I'm gonna secure the area. 1352 01:01:00,341 --> 01:01:02,446 Let's get on with the show. 1353 01:01:02,610 --> 01:01:04,715 You gonna be all right? 1354 01:01:04,879 --> 01:01:06,123 Yeah, I'll be all right. 1355 01:01:10,118 --> 01:01:11,973 So you're really an angel? 1356 01:01:12,120 --> 01:01:13,494 Of course. 1357 01:01:13,622 --> 01:01:15,149 Hmm. 1358 01:01:15,290 --> 01:01:16,697 What do you do? 1359 01:01:16,825 --> 01:01:17,872 Well, that's a dumb question. 1360 01:01:17,993 --> 01:01:19,968 No, no. I... uh, I do lots of things. 1361 01:01:20,128 --> 01:01:24,470 I comfort people that are desperately sad. 1362 01:01:24,733 --> 01:01:27,035 And I make personal appearances. 1363 01:01:27,202 --> 01:01:29,341 I... 1364 01:01:29,505 --> 01:01:31,960 Tears on a statue. 1365 01:01:32,141 --> 01:01:36,363 One time I put the face of the Lord on a bowl of oatmeal. 1366 01:01:36,612 --> 01:01:37,757 Just to cheer people up. 1367 01:01:37,880 --> 01:01:40,498 You know, those kind of things. 1368 01:01:40,683 --> 01:01:43,847 But mostly I... I take people up to see God. 1369 01:01:44,053 --> 01:01:45,514 That's why I'm here. 1370 01:01:45,655 --> 01:01:50,128 But I-I just keep thinking about that story... 1371 01:01:50,393 --> 01:01:54,005 and why it was funny. 1372 01:01:54,231 --> 01:01:56,140 The story I told on the radio? 1373 01:01:56,299 --> 01:01:57,990 It was about penguins. 1374 01:01:58,135 --> 01:01:59,858 Oh. The penguin joke. 1375 01:02:02,072 --> 01:02:04,144 Two penguins standing on an ice floe. 1376 01:02:04,308 --> 01:02:05,355 That's the one. 1377 01:02:05,476 --> 01:02:07,516 And the first penguin says... 1378 01:02:07,678 --> 01:02:09,849 'You look like you're wearing a tuxedo.' 1379 01:02:11,315 --> 01:02:12,876 And the second penguin says... 1380 01:02:13,017 --> 01:02:14,577 'What makes you think I'm not?' 1381 01:02:18,222 --> 01:02:19,749 - Is there more? - No. 1382 01:02:19,891 --> 01:02:21,135 - That's the joke? - Mm-hmm. 1383 01:02:21,259 --> 01:02:22,437 Why is that funny? 1384 01:02:23,728 --> 01:02:25,964 I guess it's funny because people laugh at it. 1385 01:02:26,131 --> 01:02:29,393 I'm not laughing. 1386 01:02:29,601 --> 01:02:34,653 You're an angel. 1387 01:02:34,940 --> 01:02:37,361 G.K. to the stage, please. G.K. to the stage, please. 1388 01:02:37,542 --> 01:02:38,589 I should probably go. 1389 01:02:38,710 --> 01:02:41,394 Oh yes, of course. I didn't come for you. 1390 01:02:41,580 --> 01:02:44,514 Oh. OK. All right. 1391 01:02:44,717 --> 01:02:45,764 I think they're waiting for me. 1392 01:02:45,884 --> 01:02:49,462 Oh... what did the second penguin say? 1393 01:02:49,688 --> 01:02:54,903 The second penguin said, 'What makes you think I'm not?' OK? 1394 01:02:55,194 --> 01:02:56,917 - OK. - All right. See you. 1395 01:02:58,464 --> 01:03:00,024 Take your time. 1396 01:03:00,166 --> 01:03:02,206 Thanks. 1397 01:03:02,368 --> 01:03:06,459 Two minutes from broadcast. Two minutes, please. 1398 01:03:06,706 --> 01:03:08,648 Ahem. Ahem. Ahem. 1399 01:03:08,807 --> 01:03:09,855 Could I have a word with you? 1400 01:03:11,211 --> 01:03:15,367 Uh, we have a situation here, um, which we are monitoring... 1401 01:03:15,615 --> 01:03:17,949 but I wanted you to be apprised of it. 1402 01:03:19,620 --> 01:03:21,376 You mean the woman in the white trench coat? 1403 01:03:21,522 --> 01:03:23,115 No, there's a woman in a w... 1404 01:03:23,257 --> 01:03:25,231 a white trench coat, yes. You saw her? 1405 01:03:25,392 --> 01:03:27,247 - I saw her over here. - You spoke to her? 1406 01:03:27,394 --> 01:03:28,888 You... no, you were talking to her. 1407 01:03:29,029 --> 01:03:30,076 You saw that? 1408 01:03:30,197 --> 01:03:31,604 Yeah. You. 1409 01:03:31,732 --> 01:03:34,666 Well, if you see her in the audience, I need you to give me a high sign. 1410 01:03:34,869 --> 01:03:36,724 Just use... give me a signal with your hand. 1411 01:03:36,871 --> 01:03:39,010 Do, uh... 1412 01:03:39,173 --> 01:03:40,220 No. Here, do it behind your back. 1413 01:03:40,341 --> 01:03:42,610 - Just... just... just wiggle. - Rabbit tail? 1414 01:03:42,777 --> 01:03:46,355 Yeah, and give me a verbal, uh, sign, some... something in code. 1415 01:03:46,581 --> 01:03:48,010 Just say, uh, indemnity. 1416 01:03:48,149 --> 01:03:49,359 - Indemnity. Yeah. - OK. 1417 01:03:49,483 --> 01:03:51,425 Or no. Granite Falls. 1418 01:03:51,586 --> 01:03:53,408 OK. How does that... 1419 01:03:53,555 --> 01:03:54,864 How does that go? Granite Falls? 1420 01:03:54,990 --> 01:03:56,899 Well, you just say, uh, then we would like to do a song now... 1421 01:03:57,059 --> 01:03:59,426 for our dear friends in... 1422 01:03:59,595 --> 01:04:00,643 Granite Falls. 1423 01:04:00,762 --> 01:04:01,940 OK. All right. OK. 1424 01:04:02,064 --> 01:04:05,839 And then if I miss that, uh, this'll be a cue for Rich... 1425 01:04:06,068 --> 01:04:08,370 to do a-a musical turn. 1426 01:04:12,341 --> 01:04:14,065 - That's the code. - Code? 1427 01:04:14,210 --> 01:04:16,032 Then I'll get it. OK? 1428 01:04:16,179 --> 01:04:18,252 That's how I got into radio, actually. 1429 01:04:18,413 --> 01:04:19,341 Morse code. 1430 01:04:19,449 --> 01:04:22,166 I was a deckhand on a... on a boat. 1431 01:04:22,352 --> 01:04:23,945 Big storm. November. 1432 01:04:24,087 --> 01:04:25,396 I'll never forget it. 1433 01:04:25,521 --> 01:04:26,634 You got on the ship radio... 1434 01:04:26,756 --> 01:04:29,123 and you told jokes and you sang for two hours... 1435 01:04:29,292 --> 01:04:30,274 until the ship came in safely to port. 1436 01:04:30,393 --> 01:04:32,564 Right. I told you that story? 1437 01:04:32,729 --> 01:04:33,657 Granite Falls. 1438 01:04:33,764 --> 01:04:34,844 - G. K? - Granite Falls. Right. 1439 01:04:34,965 --> 01:04:35,979 Yeah? 1440 01:04:36,099 --> 01:04:38,717 - If you see G.K. do that behind his back... - Fifteen seconds. 1441 01:04:38,901 --> 01:04:39,829 it's your cue to go like this. 1442 01:04:42,072 --> 01:04:43,959 So what are you gonna do for work after this? 1443 01:04:44,108 --> 01:04:45,570 I don't know. I'll find a job somewhere. 1444 01:04:46,777 --> 01:04:48,086 Like where? 1445 01:04:48,212 --> 01:04:51,408 A job where I never have to say a word. 1446 01:04:51,616 --> 01:04:52,761 Why? 1447 01:04:52,884 --> 01:04:54,956 That's why. Right there. 1448 01:04:55,119 --> 01:04:56,046 What are you gonna do? 1449 01:04:56,154 --> 01:04:57,648 Like be an underwear model or something? 1450 01:04:57,789 --> 01:04:58,901 If they ask, sure. 1451 01:04:59,023 --> 01:05:00,878 - You're on. - Yes. 1452 01:05:04,362 --> 01:05:06,783 And we're back with more of A Prairie Home Companion... 1453 01:05:06,965 --> 01:05:11,056 brought to you by the Federation of Associated Organizations. 1454 01:05:11,303 --> 01:05:14,686 Somewhere there's an organization just for you. 1455 01:05:14,907 --> 01:05:16,019 And brought to you by Fred Farrell... 1456 01:05:16,141 --> 01:05:17,351 the name you've gradually come to trust... 1457 01:05:17,475 --> 01:05:19,963 when it comes to animal nuisance control. 1458 01:05:20,145 --> 01:05:21,355 The Johnson Girls coming up... 1459 01:05:21,479 --> 01:05:24,611 and the old trail hands, Dusty and Lefty are with us... 1460 01:05:24,817 --> 01:05:26,191 and our good friend Jearlyn Steele. 1461 01:05:26,318 --> 01:05:27,693 Jearlyn. 1462 01:05:38,230 --> 01:05:42,256 ♪ The day is short ♪ 1463 01:05:42,501 --> 01:05:48,514 ♪ The night is long ♪ 1464 01:05:48,842 --> 01:05:53,413 ♪ Why do we work so hard ♪ 1465 01:05:53,680 --> 01:05:59,244 ♪ To get what we don't even want? ♪ 1466 01:05:59,553 --> 01:06:01,408 ♪ We work so hard ♪ 1467 01:06:01,555 --> 01:06:02,799 ♪ To get ahead of the game ♪ 1468 01:06:02,923 --> 01:06:04,330 It's time for me to go. 1469 01:06:08,696 --> 01:06:10,703 Oh. 1470 01:06:10,865 --> 01:06:13,199 I am the angel Asphodel. 1471 01:06:13,368 --> 01:06:16,238 I come here to do my work and bring mercy into the world... 1472 01:06:16,436 --> 01:06:19,753 and praise His holy name. 1473 01:06:19,974 --> 01:06:22,112 OK. That's fine with me. 1474 01:06:22,276 --> 01:06:24,065 You wanna be an angel? 1475 01:06:24,212 --> 01:06:25,586 I say you... 1476 01:06:25,714 --> 01:06:26,957 you be an angel. 1477 01:06:27,081 --> 01:06:29,056 You're angelic enough for me. 1478 01:06:31,219 --> 01:06:32,942 I say spread your wings and fly. 1479 01:06:34,423 --> 01:06:35,950 This is a revelation. 1480 01:06:37,893 --> 01:06:39,900 For the both of us. 1481 01:06:40,062 --> 01:06:42,298 Listen, if you're an angel, I, uh... 1482 01:06:42,463 --> 01:06:43,773 I wonder if... 1483 01:06:43,899 --> 01:06:46,517 you and me were to, uh... 1484 01:06:46,702 --> 01:06:48,677 you know. 1485 01:06:48,837 --> 01:06:50,015 Would you... 1486 01:06:50,139 --> 01:06:51,349 feel anything? 1487 01:06:53,543 --> 01:06:55,397 I would feel love. 1488 01:06:59,349 --> 01:07:02,382 ♪ And Daddy's on the way ♪ 1489 01:07:02,584 --> 01:07:06,545 ♪ The day is short ♪ 1490 01:07:06,790 --> 01:07:13,085 ♪ The night is long ♪ 1491 01:07:13,430 --> 01:07:18,002 ♪ Why do you work so hard ♪ 1492 01:07:18,269 --> 01:07:21,979 ♪ To get what you don't even want? ♪ 1493 01:07:38,957 --> 01:07:40,331 You can wait here. This won't take long. 1494 01:07:45,362 --> 01:07:49,192 ♪ The day is short ♪ 1495 01:07:49,433 --> 01:07:51,288 - Do you have a ticket? - I'm with the company. 1496 01:07:51,435 --> 01:07:56,192 ♪ The night is long ♪ 1497 01:07:56,475 --> 01:08:03,283 ♪ Why do you work so hard ♪ 1498 01:08:04,684 --> 01:08:06,145 ♪ To get ♪ 1499 01:08:06,284 --> 01:08:10,081 ♪ What you don't even ♪ 1500 01:08:10,323 --> 01:08:15,855 ♪ Want? ♪ 1501 01:08:19,332 --> 01:08:20,259 You got a problem with horses? 1502 01:08:20,333 --> 01:08:23,082 No, no, no. Just... please behave. That's all I'm askin'. 1503 01:08:23,270 --> 01:08:26,303 Al, Al. There's somethin' wrong with this bulb. 1504 01:08:26,506 --> 01:08:27,455 No, no. It's supposed to blink. 1505 01:08:27,573 --> 01:08:28,948 That's my... so it doesn't ring. 1506 01:08:29,076 --> 01:08:30,483 That's my phone. Excuse me. 1507 01:08:30,611 --> 01:08:31,538 Yeah? 1508 01:08:32,779 --> 01:08:34,186 He's here? 1509 01:08:34,313 --> 01:08:36,485 OK. Thanks. 1510 01:08:36,650 --> 01:08:38,624 The, uh, axeman is here. 1511 01:08:38,785 --> 01:08:39,734 I'll take care of it. 1512 01:08:39,853 --> 01:08:41,708 All right. 1513 01:08:41,855 --> 01:08:43,350 Molly? 1514 01:08:43,490 --> 01:08:46,338 Anybody seen Molly? 1515 01:08:46,527 --> 01:08:50,171 ♪ And he is awful happy that I'm here ♪ 1516 01:08:50,398 --> 01:08:53,561 ♪ And that we have New Munich Beer ♪ 1517 01:08:53,767 --> 01:08:55,393 ♪ Have a glass and tell a joke ♪ 1518 01:08:55,537 --> 01:08:57,326 ♪ About a guy who danced the polka ♪ 1519 01:08:57,472 --> 01:08:59,960 ♪ And remember that the party has to end ♪ 1520 01:09:00,140 --> 01:09:01,318 ♪ My friend ♪ 1521 01:09:01,442 --> 01:09:03,384 ♪ Adieu, adieu, kind friends, adieu ♪ 1522 01:09:03,545 --> 01:09:05,138 ♪ Adieu, adieu ♪ 1523 01:09:05,280 --> 01:09:07,135 ♪ But first, let's have another brew ♪ 1524 01:09:07,282 --> 01:09:08,209 ♪ Maybe two ♪ 1525 01:09:08,317 --> 01:09:09,265 Mr. Crust? 1526 01:09:09,384 --> 01:09:11,523 Cruett! I don't believe we've met. 1527 01:09:11,687 --> 01:09:12,734 Guy Noir. 1528 01:09:12,855 --> 01:09:16,532 Vice-president, Security and, uh, Data Acquisition. 1529 01:09:16,759 --> 01:09:18,614 Good for you. Show almost over? 1530 01:09:18,761 --> 01:09:19,939 Almost. Yes. 1531 01:09:20,062 --> 01:09:21,338 Just in time then. 1532 01:09:21,463 --> 01:09:22,608 The show's been going on how long? 1533 01:09:22,731 --> 01:09:24,193 Somebody said fifty years. 1534 01:09:24,333 --> 01:09:27,267 N-nearly. Uh, thirty... something. 1535 01:09:27,469 --> 01:09:29,258 Weird. It's like a time warp. 1536 01:09:29,405 --> 01:09:30,681 I feel like an anthropologist... 1537 01:09:30,806 --> 01:09:34,222 finding some primitive tribe squatting around a fire in the forest... 1538 01:09:34,443 --> 01:09:36,680 telling stories, sparks flying up in the air. 1539 01:09:36,845 --> 01:09:38,023 Yeah. Heh heh. 1540 01:09:38,148 --> 01:09:41,082 Well, we've got the, uh, luxury box for you, right here. 1541 01:09:42,786 --> 01:09:43,866 Right this way. 1542 01:09:47,089 --> 01:09:49,162 Who's that guy? 1543 01:09:49,326 --> 01:09:52,490 Oh, that's the guy, uh, used to come see the shows here. 1544 01:09:52,696 --> 01:09:54,932 Um, local boy. He's a writer. 1545 01:09:55,098 --> 01:09:56,986 Uh, he wrote novels. 1546 01:09:57,133 --> 01:09:58,246 Uh, F. Scott Fitzgerald. 1547 01:09:58,369 --> 01:09:59,612 Grew up right here in St. Paul. 1548 01:09:59,737 --> 01:10:00,719 What kind of novels? 1549 01:10:01,806 --> 01:10:03,267 Uh, romantic ones. 1550 01:10:03,406 --> 01:10:04,334 - Oh. - Mostly. 1551 01:10:04,442 --> 01:10:05,936 I don't read romances. No time. 1552 01:10:06,077 --> 01:10:08,662 Hmm. We usually have, uh, clients in here. 1553 01:10:08,845 --> 01:10:10,634 You know, five or six of them at a time, sponsors... 1554 01:10:10,781 --> 01:10:12,952 That's some nice plaster work around the proscenium there. 1555 01:10:13,117 --> 01:10:14,492 We'll have to remember to save a piece of that. 1556 01:10:14,619 --> 01:10:16,212 I wish we were taping this show. 1557 01:10:16,354 --> 01:10:18,176 This is a live show. 1558 01:10:18,322 --> 01:10:20,177 Videotape. Historical purposes. 1559 01:10:20,324 --> 01:10:21,818 Send it to a museum. 1560 01:10:21,959 --> 01:10:23,334 Well, this is just great. This is all I need. 1561 01:10:23,462 --> 01:10:25,469 This is the first time somebody died at the show. 1562 01:10:25,631 --> 01:10:27,638 - I mean, the first time! - Al, we're all gettin' older. 1563 01:10:27,799 --> 01:10:28,727 He's dead? ! 1564 01:10:28,834 --> 01:10:30,110 The show's not over, is it? 1565 01:10:30,234 --> 01:10:32,209 We've got a dead man downstairs. 1566 01:10:32,371 --> 01:10:33,418 We've gotta do something. 1567 01:10:33,538 --> 01:10:35,164 Just be glad... glad you don't have him onstage. 1568 01:10:35,307 --> 01:10:37,161 - When did this happen? - Who's that, Chuck? 1569 01:10:37,309 --> 01:10:38,585 - Yes. - Where's Evelyn? 1570 01:10:38,710 --> 01:10:39,692 Evelyn was down there. 1571 01:10:39,811 --> 01:10:42,080 He was waitin' for Evelyn when he passed away. 1572 01:10:42,247 --> 01:10:44,451 He died with a heart full of hope. 1573 01:10:44,616 --> 01:10:47,104 Yeah, that's not a bad way to go when you think about it. 1574 01:10:47,286 --> 01:10:49,774 Sittin' there in the dark, in your underwear, you know? 1575 01:10:49,956 --> 01:10:51,297 Waitin' for your lover to come. 1576 01:10:51,423 --> 01:10:52,918 He was in his underwear? 1577 01:10:53,059 --> 01:10:56,288 Donna told me he was wearin' boxer shorts with big raspberries on 'em... 1578 01:10:56,496 --> 01:10:59,627 and a great big bottle of massage oil and a bayberry candle goin'... 1579 01:10:59,832 --> 01:11:01,807 and Mills Brothers' Greatest Hits. 1580 01:11:01,969 --> 01:11:04,522 He was all set. He was loaded for Evelyn. 1581 01:11:04,705 --> 01:11:06,843 Well, uh, can I offer you somethin' to drink? 1582 01:11:07,006 --> 01:11:08,413 Water. No ice. No lemon. 1583 01:11:10,743 --> 01:11:12,369 Water. No ice. No lemon. 1584 01:11:12,513 --> 01:11:13,887 Straight up. Neat. 1585 01:11:15,516 --> 01:11:18,898 Radio sound effects learned from a master. 1586 01:11:19,119 --> 01:11:20,461 What can I tell you about the show? 1587 01:11:20,587 --> 01:11:22,376 I know everything I need to know about the show. 1588 01:11:23,590 --> 01:11:25,445 - You're sure about that? - Yes. 1589 01:11:25,592 --> 01:11:26,868 You're not gonna change your mind? 1590 01:11:26,995 --> 01:11:28,304 Ahh! No. 1591 01:11:28,429 --> 01:11:29,509 Hmm. 1592 01:11:29,631 --> 01:11:31,387 Lot of good people up there. 1593 01:11:31,533 --> 01:11:32,547 On the stage. 1594 01:11:32,666 --> 01:11:33,594 Lot of 'em. 1595 01:11:34,969 --> 01:11:37,173 I mean, I'm a man of the world like yourself... 1596 01:11:37,338 --> 01:11:38,800 but, uh, these folks put their lives into this. 1597 01:11:38,939 --> 01:11:40,947 Now they can put their lives into something else. 1598 01:11:41,108 --> 01:11:42,767 There's always something to put your life into, isn't there? 1599 01:11:42,911 --> 01:11:44,252 It's like the Scripture tells us... 1600 01:11:44,379 --> 01:11:46,233 you have to lose your life before you can... 1601 01:11:46,382 --> 01:11:47,461 find it. 1602 01:11:48,550 --> 01:11:50,721 Scripture is guiding you here? 1603 01:11:50,885 --> 01:11:53,122 The company is owned by people of faith, Mr. Noir. 1604 01:11:54,724 --> 01:11:58,619 Ahh. Before I came to the Lord, I played in a band myself. 1605 01:11:58,860 --> 01:12:00,748 The Dukes of Rhythm. Ha ha. 1606 01:12:00,896 --> 01:12:02,685 We were terrible. 1607 01:12:02,832 --> 01:12:05,963 Then, thank God, we were saved by the simple realization of the truth. 1608 01:12:06,235 --> 01:12:07,762 We were no good. We got fired. 1609 01:12:07,903 --> 01:12:09,626 It was a blessing. 1610 01:12:09,772 --> 01:12:10,700 You wanna say something? 1611 01:12:10,806 --> 01:12:12,213 Say what? No, I don't want to say... 1612 01:12:12,341 --> 01:12:13,269 You know, you should say somethin'... 1613 01:12:13,375 --> 01:12:15,317 'cause he was on the show all these years. 1614 01:12:15,479 --> 01:12:16,406 Absolutely. 1615 01:12:16,512 --> 01:12:18,367 I don't do eulogies. I don't. 1616 01:12:18,514 --> 01:12:20,587 Is there a reason for that? Or you just don't care for people? 1617 01:12:20,751 --> 01:12:22,278 I'm at an age where if I started to do them... 1618 01:12:22,419 --> 01:12:24,077 I'd do nothing but eulogies. 1619 01:12:24,221 --> 01:12:25,781 How about just a moment of silence? 1620 01:12:25,922 --> 01:12:28,311 Silence on the radio? I don't know how that works. 1621 01:12:28,492 --> 01:12:29,801 Garrison, OK, thank you. 1622 01:12:29,926 --> 01:12:31,170 OK, we've got about thirty seconds. Thirty seconds. 1623 01:12:31,294 --> 01:12:32,952 Hold on a second. You're saying if my mom died... 1624 01:12:33,096 --> 01:12:34,951 you wouldn't do anything, you wouldn't say anything. 1625 01:12:35,098 --> 01:12:36,026 If I what? 1626 01:12:36,133 --> 01:12:38,621 You'd just ignore it, you'd act like it never happened? 1627 01:12:38,802 --> 01:12:39,730 How could you do that? 1628 01:12:39,836 --> 01:12:41,014 We don't look back in radio. 1629 01:12:41,139 --> 01:12:42,284 That's the beauty of it. 1630 01:12:42,406 --> 01:12:44,031 Nobody gets old. Nobody dies. 1631 01:12:44,174 --> 01:12:45,735 We just keep on goin'. 1632 01:12:45,877 --> 01:12:46,804 What if you died? 1633 01:12:46,910 --> 01:12:48,219 I will. 1634 01:12:48,346 --> 01:12:49,655 You don't want people to remember you? 1635 01:12:49,781 --> 01:12:52,464 I don't want them to be told to remember me. 1636 01:12:52,650 --> 01:12:54,625 Hmm? 1637 01:12:54,786 --> 01:12:56,728 You know what? Somebody died down there. 1638 01:12:56,888 --> 01:12:57,836 That's right. 1639 01:12:57,955 --> 01:12:59,199 OK? And we're not even paying attention... 1640 01:12:59,323 --> 01:13:00,665 and you're not even gonna say anything? 1641 01:13:00,792 --> 01:13:02,199 We pay attention by doin' our job. 1642 01:13:02,326 --> 01:13:04,748 Go, go, go. You're on, you're on, you're on. 1643 01:13:04,929 --> 01:13:06,718 I gotta get someone to take me home. 1644 01:13:06,864 --> 01:13:08,620 I'm not spendin' the night alone tonight. 1645 01:13:08,766 --> 01:13:10,773 Don't... nobody even cares. 1646 01:13:10,935 --> 01:13:12,659 No, we do. We all care. 1647 01:13:12,805 --> 01:13:14,146 We care like hell. 1648 01:13:14,273 --> 01:13:15,200 You're gonna want to have... 1649 01:13:15,307 --> 01:13:17,642 a whole freezer full of Prince of Pizzas. 1650 01:13:17,810 --> 01:13:21,258 It's the frozen pizza that tastes homemade always. 1651 01:13:21,480 --> 01:13:25,310 Made from real Minnesota cheese and sausage. 1652 01:13:26,653 --> 01:13:29,140 ♪ One Prince of Pizza slice ♪ 1653 01:13:29,321 --> 01:13:31,493 ♪ Puts me in paradise ♪ 1654 01:13:31,658 --> 01:13:34,145 ♪ Sausage and extra cheese ♪ 1655 01:13:34,326 --> 01:13:36,879 ♪ Onions and anchovies ♪ 1656 01:13:38,064 --> 01:13:39,177 That's fun... that's funny. 1657 01:13:39,299 --> 01:13:41,754 Watching them through this glass, it's like a zoo. 1658 01:13:43,970 --> 01:13:47,134 - Ahh. - I'll be right back. 1659 01:13:47,340 --> 01:13:48,769 ♪ It's the best ♪ 1660 01:13:48,908 --> 01:13:50,086 ♪ It's the best ♪ 1661 01:13:50,211 --> 01:13:52,480 ♪ In the Midwest ♪ 1662 01:13:52,645 --> 01:13:53,921 ♪ Pizza pie ♪ 1663 01:13:54,048 --> 01:13:55,291 ♪ Pizza pie ♪ 1664 01:13:55,416 --> 01:13:59,125 ♪ Prince of Pizza is the best pie ♪ 1665 01:14:05,427 --> 01:14:06,736 Yes, Guy Noir here. 1666 01:14:06,861 --> 01:14:07,908 Get me Molly. 1667 01:14:10,931 --> 01:14:11,880 Yeah? 1668 01:14:11,999 --> 01:14:14,847 Molly, listen, I need you to do something for me. It's very important. 1669 01:14:15,036 --> 01:14:15,963 What? 1670 01:14:16,071 --> 01:14:18,274 I need you come out here so I can talk to you face to face. 1671 01:14:18,439 --> 01:14:20,294 - Can you do that? - I'm right here. 1672 01:14:20,441 --> 01:14:23,092 Wha... b... d... 1673 01:14:23,277 --> 01:14:25,612 - Who's this? - I don't know. 1674 01:14:25,780 --> 01:14:27,984 No, who... who's talking to me? 1675 01:14:28,149 --> 01:14:29,097 I don't... I-I am! 1676 01:14:29,217 --> 01:14:30,646 Shh! Hello? 1677 01:14:30,785 --> 01:14:32,279 Hello? 1678 01:14:32,420 --> 01:14:33,729 Hello? 1679 01:14:35,223 --> 01:14:36,783 There's nobody there. 1680 01:14:36,925 --> 01:14:38,584 OK. 1681 01:14:38,728 --> 01:14:41,062 I have to ask you to do something for me. 1682 01:14:41,229 --> 01:14:42,156 It's very important. 1683 01:14:42,265 --> 01:14:43,694 - It's, uh... - What? 1684 01:14:44,901 --> 01:14:46,810 I need a drink. 1685 01:14:46,969 --> 01:14:48,376 Uhh! 1686 01:14:48,504 --> 01:14:49,519 Oh, je... 1687 01:14:51,540 --> 01:14:52,652 You OK? 1688 01:14:55,279 --> 01:14:56,206 Yeah. 1689 01:14:56,312 --> 01:15:00,054 So how's it goin' in there with, uh, axeman? 1690 01:15:01,250 --> 01:15:02,363 Very slippery. 1691 01:15:02,485 --> 01:15:03,762 How do they keep the drinks on there? 1692 01:15:03,886 --> 01:15:04,868 It's going very well. 1693 01:15:04,988 --> 01:15:06,930 I mean, well, he's tough. He's tough. 1694 01:15:07,090 --> 01:15:11,847 But, uh, I think, uh, I think I have another solution. 1695 01:15:12,128 --> 01:15:13,056 What? 1696 01:15:13,163 --> 01:15:14,723 Well, he used to be in a band. 1697 01:15:14,865 --> 01:15:16,775 A long time ago called the Dukes of Rhythm... 1698 01:15:16,934 --> 01:15:19,235 and I think if we can round up the guys who were in that band... 1699 01:15:19,404 --> 01:15:21,313 and get 'em all on the show... 1700 01:15:21,471 --> 01:15:22,965 Sorry. 1701 01:15:23,107 --> 01:15:27,679 Um, we can, um, we can maybe get him to change his mind. 1702 01:15:27,946 --> 01:15:32,932 Have a kind of reunion, you know, with all the, uh, band members... 1703 01:15:33,217 --> 01:15:34,199 right here on The Prairie Home Companion. 1704 01:15:35,320 --> 01:15:36,247 Here's to happy endings. 1705 01:15:36,354 --> 01:15:37,783 Happy endings! 1706 01:15:40,892 --> 01:15:42,802 Ahh! 1707 01:15:42,962 --> 01:15:43,889 Ahh! 1708 01:15:43,995 --> 01:15:45,075 Oh, God, that's good. 1709 01:15:45,196 --> 01:15:46,341 Mother's milk. 1710 01:15:46,464 --> 01:15:48,733 - What? - Sorry. 1711 01:15:48,900 --> 01:15:50,810 Here's what I need you to do. 1712 01:15:50,970 --> 01:15:52,824 - Hmm. - Take this note... 1713 01:15:52,972 --> 01:15:55,044 uhh, to the woman... 1714 01:15:55,207 --> 01:15:56,549 backstage... 1715 01:15:56,675 --> 01:15:57,885 Give it to who? 1716 01:15:58,010 --> 01:15:58,992 The lady backstage. 1717 01:15:59,111 --> 01:16:00,518 The blonde lady with a white trench coat. 1718 01:16:00,646 --> 01:16:01,694 Blonde lady with a white trench coat? 1719 01:16:01,814 --> 01:16:03,637 Yes. She's beautiful, blonde. 1720 01:16:03,782 --> 01:16:05,724 Ahh, ahh... 1721 01:16:05,884 --> 01:16:06,898 You can't miss her. 1722 01:16:07,019 --> 01:16:08,994 'Angel, man in the...' 1723 01:16:09,155 --> 01:16:11,162 Shh! 1724 01:16:11,323 --> 01:16:12,632 Boat? 1725 01:16:12,758 --> 01:16:13,838 Booth. 1726 01:16:13,960 --> 01:16:15,782 'Man in the booth... 1727 01:16:15,928 --> 01:16:19,790 Make him go away.' 1728 01:16:21,167 --> 01:16:24,549 Give this to her, and then destroy that. 1729 01:16:26,172 --> 01:16:29,270 It's time to bring out an old favorite here on A Prairie Home Companion... 1730 01:16:29,476 --> 01:16:32,160 And that's two fine women who've been singing together... 1731 01:16:32,345 --> 01:16:36,120 since they were little girls growing up in Oshkosh, Wisconsin. 1732 01:16:36,350 --> 01:16:38,521 They've kept alive all those old songs that go way back. 1733 01:16:38,685 --> 01:16:42,330 Please welcome here the Johnson Girls, Rhonda and Yolanda. 1734 01:16:42,556 --> 01:16:45,338 Ha ha ha ha. 1735 01:16:45,526 --> 01:16:46,988 Thank you. 1736 01:16:47,127 --> 01:16:49,494 Thank you very much. 1737 01:16:49,663 --> 01:16:53,143 We're gonna do a song now that we wrote for our mama. 1738 01:16:53,367 --> 01:16:55,571 Who brought us up... 1739 01:16:55,736 --> 01:16:57,711 with no, uh, luxuries. 1740 01:16:57,872 --> 01:16:59,498 Ha ha. No vacation trips. 1741 01:16:59,641 --> 01:17:01,496 No vacations even. Ha ha ha. 1742 01:17:01,643 --> 01:17:03,650 But we did have one luxury... 1743 01:17:03,812 --> 01:17:06,911 and that was... music. You know? 1744 01:17:07,115 --> 01:17:08,293 Mama loved us to sing. 1745 01:17:08,417 --> 01:17:11,929 Yeah, no matter how tired she was, she loved... 1746 01:17:12,554 --> 01:17:14,823 hearin' us kids sing. 1747 01:17:17,226 --> 01:17:19,014 So this is for you, Mama. 1748 01:17:21,964 --> 01:17:23,971 ♪ Good-bye to my mama ♪ 1749 01:17:24,133 --> 01:17:26,107 ♪ My uncles and aunts ♪ 1750 01:17:26,268 --> 01:17:28,210 ♪ One after another ♪ 1751 01:17:28,370 --> 01:17:31,785 ♪ They went to lie down ♪ 1752 01:17:32,008 --> 01:17:34,081 ♪ In the green pastures ♪ 1753 01:17:34,243 --> 01:17:36,217 ♪ Beside the still waters ♪ 1754 01:17:36,379 --> 01:17:42,522 ♪ And made no sound ♪ 1755 01:17:42,852 --> 01:17:44,925 ♪ Their arms that had held me ♪ 1756 01:17:45,089 --> 01:17:47,227 ♪ For so many years ♪ 1757 01:17:47,390 --> 01:17:49,430 ♪ Their beautiful voices ♪ 1758 01:17:49,593 --> 01:17:51,698 ♪ No longer I hear ♪ 1759 01:17:51,862 --> 01:17:53,837 ♪ They're in Jesus' arms ♪ 1760 01:17:53,997 --> 01:17:56,168 ♪ And He's talkin' to them ♪ 1761 01:17:56,333 --> 01:18:01,450 ♪ In the rapturous New Jerusalem ♪ 1762 01:18:01,739 --> 01:18:03,910 ♪ And I know they're at peace ♪ 1763 01:18:04,074 --> 01:18:06,114 ♪ In a land of delight ♪ 1764 01:18:06,277 --> 01:18:07,967 ♪ But I miss ♪ 1765 01:18:08,112 --> 01:18:12,684 ♪ My mama ♪ 1766 01:18:12,950 --> 01:18:17,009 ♪ Tonight ♪ 1767 01:18:22,660 --> 01:18:26,402 Oh, Chuck, they're playin' this for you. 1768 01:18:26,631 --> 01:18:29,664 You should be out there performin' this with them. 1769 01:18:29,868 --> 01:18:32,803 ♪ Who went to lie down ♪ 1770 01:18:33,005 --> 01:18:39,148 ♪ And now is gone ♪ 1771 01:18:40,646 --> 01:18:43,297 ♪ Whose hands are these ♪ 1772 01:18:43,482 --> 01:18:47,890 ♪ All rough and hard? ♪ 1773 01:18:48,154 --> 01:18:55,127 ♪ Nails all torn from toil and care ♪ 1774 01:18:55,495 --> 01:18:58,429 ♪ Who cleaned the house ♪ 1775 01:18:58,631 --> 01:19:02,493 ♪ And kept the yard ♪ 1776 01:19:02,736 --> 01:19:05,322 ♪ Touched my cheek ♪ 1777 01:19:05,505 --> 01:19:10,207 ♪ And stroked my hair? ♪ 1778 01:19:10,477 --> 01:19:13,641 ♪ Thank you, Mama ♪ 1779 01:19:13,847 --> 01:19:17,841 ♪ The Lord give you peace ♪ 1780 01:19:18,085 --> 01:19:20,670 ♪ Bless your voice ♪ 1781 01:19:20,854 --> 01:19:25,327 ♪ And the songs you've sung ♪ 1782 01:19:25,593 --> 01:19:28,179 ♪ Blessed your arms ♪ 1783 01:19:28,362 --> 01:19:32,355 ♪ And your hands and your knees ♪ 1784 01:19:32,600 --> 01:19:35,895 ♪ How you loved us ♪ 1785 01:19:36,104 --> 01:19:40,130 ♪ When we were young ♪ 1786 01:19:40,375 --> 01:19:43,986 ♪ The Lord's my shepherd ♪ 1787 01:19:44,212 --> 01:19:47,311 ♪ I'll not want ♪ 1788 01:19:47,516 --> 01:19:50,899 ♪ I have my mama ♪ 1789 01:19:51,119 --> 01:19:54,861 ♪ My uncles and aunts ♪ 1790 01:19:55,090 --> 01:19:57,807 ♪ Waters so still ♪ 1791 01:19:57,993 --> 01:20:02,303 ♪ And pastures so green ♪ 1792 01:20:02,565 --> 01:20:06,143 ♪ Goodness and mercy ♪ 1793 01:20:06,369 --> 01:20:09,882 ♪ Following me ♪ 1794 01:20:10,106 --> 01:20:14,001 ♪ Goodness and mercy ♪ 1795 01:20:14,243 --> 01:20:20,288 ♪ Following me ♪ 1796 01:20:22,218 --> 01:20:25,033 OK, OK, you're on. Go get 'em. 1797 01:20:26,623 --> 01:20:28,118 The Johnson Girls, thank you. 1798 01:20:28,258 --> 01:20:31,041 Brought to you by Powdermilk Biscuits in the big blue box. 1799 01:20:31,228 --> 01:20:35,254 Let's bring 'em in right now in off that long, dusty, lonesome trail... 1800 01:20:35,499 --> 01:20:39,721 the old trail hands themselves, Dusty and Lefty. 1801 01:20:43,774 --> 01:20:44,854 Thank you very much. 1802 01:20:44,976 --> 01:20:46,601 Lefty and I are very proud of this. 1803 01:20:46,744 --> 01:20:48,500 It's a brand new number. 1804 01:20:48,646 --> 01:20:53,316 And, uh, we'd like to send it out to our friends there in, uh... 1805 01:20:53,585 --> 01:20:58,441 Maple Plain and... and Glenwood and, uh, Renville and of course... 1806 01:20:58,723 --> 01:21:00,665 our good friends up there on the range. 1807 01:21:00,824 --> 01:21:01,904 This is for you. 1808 01:21:02,027 --> 01:21:03,653 One... two... three. 1809 01:21:08,066 --> 01:21:10,651 Oh, God. 1810 01:21:10,835 --> 01:21:12,624 I'm gonna kill those guys. 1811 01:21:13,972 --> 01:21:15,728 ♪ The blind man's seein' eye dog ♪ 1812 01:21:15,874 --> 01:21:17,881 ♪ Pissed on the blind man's shoe... ♪ 1813 01:21:18,043 --> 01:21:20,083 - # The blinds man said, 'Here, Rover' ♪ - Oh, no. 1814 01:21:20,246 --> 01:21:22,133 ♪ 'Here's a piece of beef for you' ♪ 1815 01:21:22,281 --> 01:21:24,168 ♪ His wife said, 'Don't reward him' ♪ 1816 01:21:24,317 --> 01:21:25,462 Hey, what are you doin' back there? 1817 01:21:25,584 --> 01:21:27,046 ♪ You can't just let that pass ♪ 1818 01:21:27,186 --> 01:21:28,363 ♪ The blind man said ♪ 1819 01:21:28,488 --> 01:21:29,567 ♪ 'I gotta find his mouth' ♪ 1820 01:21:29,689 --> 01:21:31,861 ♪ 'So I can kick him in the ass' ♪ 1821 01:21:32,025 --> 01:21:33,072 - # Bad jokes ♪ - Oh, great. 1822 01:21:33,225 --> 01:21:34,207 - # Lord, I love 'em ♪ - Now what's the difference? 1823 01:21:34,327 --> 01:21:35,538 - # Bad jokes ♪ - Piss, ass. 1824 01:21:35,662 --> 01:21:37,833 - # Can't get enough of 'em ♪ - Show's on the way out, anyway. 1825 01:21:37,997 --> 01:21:38,945 ♪ Ooowhee ♪ 1826 01:21:39,065 --> 01:21:41,651 ♪ Bad jokes for me ♪ 1827 01:21:42,968 --> 01:21:43,896 You got one, Dusty? 1828 01:21:44,004 --> 01:21:45,859 - I got one, Lefty. - Let's hear it. 1829 01:21:46,006 --> 01:21:47,915 ♪ When God created woman ♪ 1830 01:21:48,075 --> 01:21:50,410 ♪ He gave her not two breasts but three ♪ 1831 01:21:50,577 --> 01:21:52,682 ♪ When the middle one got in the way ♪ 1832 01:21:52,846 --> 01:21:54,602 ♪ God performed surgery ♪ 1833 01:21:54,748 --> 01:21:57,236 ♪ Woman stood before God ♪ 1834 01:21:57,418 --> 01:21:59,490 ♪ With the middle breast in hand ♪ 1835 01:21:59,653 --> 01:22:00,863 ♪ Said, 'What do we do' ♪ 1836 01:22:00,987 --> 01:22:02,132 ♪ 'With the useless boob?' ♪ 1837 01:22:02,255 --> 01:22:04,677 ♪ And God created man ♪ 1838 01:22:04,859 --> 01:22:05,807 ♪ Bad jokes ♪ 1839 01:22:05,927 --> 01:22:06,974 ♪ Lord, I love 'em ♪ 1840 01:22:07,095 --> 01:22:08,142 - # Bad jokes ♪ - Oh, great, boobs. 1841 01:22:08,261 --> 01:22:09,756 - # Can't get enough of 'em ♪ - Ha. Why not? 1842 01:22:09,896 --> 01:22:10,911 - # Ooowhee ♪ - Tits, ass, bring it on. 1843 01:22:11,032 --> 01:22:12,047 - The more the merrier. - # Bad jokes for me ♪ 1844 01:22:12,165 --> 01:22:13,758 What about boobs? 1845 01:22:13,901 --> 01:22:15,560 They're singin' a song about boobs and poop... 1846 01:22:15,703 --> 01:22:17,525 and who knows what? Hey, why not? 1847 01:22:17,672 --> 01:22:19,014 Let's just wreck the whole show. 1848 01:22:19,140 --> 01:22:20,318 I guess... 1849 01:22:20,442 --> 01:22:21,652 Let's... let's have a drink. 1850 01:22:21,776 --> 01:22:23,205 Let's get snockered. What do you say? 1851 01:22:23,345 --> 01:22:25,254 ♪ When a beautiful young naked woman ♪ 1852 01:22:25,414 --> 01:22:27,519 ♪ Stood up in front of the group ♪ 1853 01:22:27,683 --> 01:22:29,919 ♪ She offered Gramps some super sex ♪ 1854 01:22:30,085 --> 01:22:32,354 ♪ And he said, 'I'll take the soup' ♪ 1855 01:22:32,521 --> 01:22:33,448 ♪ Bad jokes ♪ 1856 01:22:33,554 --> 01:22:34,482 ♪ Lord, I love 'em ♪ 1857 01:22:34,590 --> 01:22:35,605 ♪ Bad jokes ♪ 1858 01:22:35,724 --> 01:22:37,000 ♪ Can't get enough of 'em... ♪ 1859 01:22:37,126 --> 01:22:39,876 Oh, kid. It's over, kid. 1860 01:22:40,062 --> 01:22:41,491 They're pullin' the plug. 1861 01:22:43,165 --> 01:22:44,092 You ready for another one? 1862 01:22:44,199 --> 01:22:46,109 Yeah, lay it on me. 1863 01:22:46,269 --> 01:22:48,407 ♪ Ole went to the neighborhood dance ♪ 1864 01:22:48,570 --> 01:22:50,610 ♪ And he won the big door prize ♪ 1865 01:22:50,773 --> 01:22:51,918 ♪ It was a toilet brush ♪ 1866 01:22:52,040 --> 01:22:52,968 ♪ And he took it home ♪ 1867 01:22:53,076 --> 01:22:54,985 ♪ And the next week one of the guys ♪ 1868 01:22:55,145 --> 01:22:57,512 ♪ Said, 'Ole, how's that toilet brush?' ♪ 1869 01:22:57,680 --> 01:22:59,688 ♪ 'The one you won from the neighbors?' ♪ 1870 01:22:59,848 --> 01:23:01,604 ♪ Ole said, 'Oh, it works pretty good' ♪ 1871 01:23:01,752 --> 01:23:04,239 ♪ 'But I prefer toilet paper' ♪ 1872 01:23:04,421 --> 01:23:05,349 ♪ Bad jokes ♪ 1873 01:23:05,455 --> 01:23:06,470 ♪ Lord, I love 'em ♪ 1874 01:23:06,589 --> 01:23:07,637 ♪ Bad jokes ♪ 1875 01:23:07,758 --> 01:23:09,034 ♪ Can't get enough of 'em ♪ 1876 01:23:09,159 --> 01:23:11,166 ♪ Ooowhee ♪ 1877 01:23:11,327 --> 01:23:13,432 ♪ Bad jokes for me ♪ 1878 01:23:13,596 --> 01:23:15,571 ♪ The farmer had a champion bull ♪ 1879 01:23:15,733 --> 01:23:17,588 ♪ Who bred 200 times a year ♪ 1880 01:23:17,735 --> 01:23:20,353 ♪ The farmer's wife said, '200 times?' ♪ 1881 01:23:20,538 --> 01:23:22,448 ♪ 'Isn't that wonderful, dear?' ♪ 1882 01:23:22,606 --> 01:23:24,232 ♪ 'Maybe you ought to watch him' ♪ 1883 01:23:24,375 --> 01:23:26,742 ♪ 'Maybe he'll show you how' ♪ 1884 01:23:26,911 --> 01:23:28,951 ♪ The farmer said, 'He's a heck of a bull' ♪ 1885 01:23:29,113 --> 01:23:30,901 ♪ 'But it wasn't all with the same cow' ♪ 1886 01:23:31,049 --> 01:23:32,609 ♪ Come on, now, bad jokes ♪ 1887 01:23:32,751 --> 01:23:33,678 ♪ Lord, I love 'em ♪ 1888 01:23:33,785 --> 01:23:34,832 ♪ Bad jokes ♪ 1889 01:23:34,953 --> 01:23:36,229 ♪ Can't get enough of 'em ♪ 1890 01:23:36,353 --> 01:23:38,361 ♪ Ooowhee ♪ 1891 01:23:38,522 --> 01:23:40,311 ♪ Bad jokes for me ♪ 1892 01:23:40,459 --> 01:23:43,110 Let's see. I've got... 1893 01:23:43,295 --> 01:23:45,150 one, four, three... 1894 01:23:45,297 --> 01:23:48,144 Did you hear about the Viagra shipment that got stolen? 1895 01:23:48,333 --> 01:23:49,510 No, who they think did it? 1896 01:23:49,634 --> 01:23:50,779 Well, they don't know... 1897 01:23:50,902 --> 01:23:52,877 but they're on the lookout for hardened criminals. 1898 01:23:54,639 --> 01:23:55,850 Get Garrison out here. 1899 01:23:55,975 --> 01:23:56,957 They're wrappin' this up. 1900 01:23:57,076 --> 01:23:58,602 You got another one? 1901 01:23:58,743 --> 01:24:01,165 I got another one, Lefty. 1902 01:24:01,347 --> 01:24:04,892 Sven said to his friend, 'Boy, I think my wife died.' 1903 01:24:05,117 --> 01:24:06,972 His friend said, 'Well, what do you mean, you think?' 1904 01:24:07,119 --> 01:24:11,854 'Well, the sex is still the same, but the dishes are stackin' up.' 1905 01:24:12,124 --> 01:24:14,012 Ha ha ha! 1906 01:24:16,162 --> 01:24:17,144 Hey, Dusty. 1907 01:24:17,264 --> 01:24:19,020 Yeah, Lefty? 1908 01:24:19,166 --> 01:24:22,232 Did you know that diarrhea was hereditary? 1909 01:24:22,436 --> 01:24:24,323 No, I didn't. 1910 01:24:24,471 --> 01:24:26,510 Yeah, it runs in your jeans. 1911 01:24:26,672 --> 01:24:28,560 Ha ha ha ha! 1912 01:24:30,377 --> 01:24:32,798 Hey, uh, heh, Lefty? 1913 01:24:32,980 --> 01:24:34,060 Yeah? Go ahead. 1914 01:24:34,181 --> 01:24:36,221 Why do they call it PMS? 1915 01:24:36,384 --> 01:24:38,489 PMS? Why, I don't know. Why? 1916 01:24:38,653 --> 01:24:41,303 'Cause Mad Cow was already taken. 1917 01:24:42,689 --> 01:24:44,064 All right, that's enough. 1918 01:24:44,192 --> 01:24:46,909 Ha ha ha! 1919 01:24:47,095 --> 01:24:48,589 Hey, Dusty. 1920 01:24:48,730 --> 01:24:49,657 Yeah, Lefty? 1921 01:24:49,764 --> 01:24:53,855 What do you get when you cross holy water with castor oil? 1922 01:24:54,102 --> 01:24:56,011 I don't know, Lefty. What do you get? 1923 01:24:56,170 --> 01:24:57,992 A religious movement. 1924 01:24:59,474 --> 01:25:00,903 Ha ha ha ha! 1925 01:25:01,043 --> 01:25:05,865 Hey, uh... hey, Lefty, what did the elephant say to the naked man? 1926 01:25:06,148 --> 01:25:07,195 What'd he say? 1927 01:25:07,316 --> 01:25:09,803 It's cute, but can you really breathe through that thing? 1928 01:25:10,985 --> 01:25:11,913 Come on, now. 1929 01:25:12,021 --> 01:25:13,231 ♪ Bad jokes ♪ 1930 01:25:13,354 --> 01:25:14,282 ♪ Lord, I love 'em ♪ 1931 01:25:14,390 --> 01:25:15,317 ♪ Bad jokes ♪ 1932 01:25:15,424 --> 01:25:16,634 ♪ Can't get enough of 'em ♪ 1933 01:25:16,759 --> 01:25:18,898 ♪ Ooowhee ♪ 1934 01:25:19,061 --> 01:25:21,133 ♪ Bad jokes for me ♪ 1935 01:25:21,297 --> 01:25:22,312 ♪ Bad jokes ♪ 1936 01:25:22,432 --> 01:25:23,380 ♪ Man, I love 'em ♪ 1937 01:25:23,499 --> 01:25:24,426 ♪ Bad jokes ♪ 1938 01:25:24,533 --> 01:25:25,744 ♪ Can't get enough of 'em ♪ 1939 01:25:25,868 --> 01:25:28,006 ♪ Ooowhee ♪ 1940 01:25:28,170 --> 01:25:29,731 ♪ Bad ♪ 1941 01:25:29,873 --> 01:25:30,800 Whoo! 1942 01:25:30,906 --> 01:25:35,892 ♪ Jokes for me ♪ 1943 01:25:38,013 --> 01:25:39,126 Hey! 1944 01:25:40,916 --> 01:25:42,804 Thank you! 1945 01:25:43,453 --> 01:25:44,467 Whoo-hoo! 1946 01:25:47,691 --> 01:25:49,120 We hope you've enjoyed our show tonight. 1947 01:25:49,260 --> 01:25:51,115 We certainly have enjoyed having you with us. 1948 01:25:51,262 --> 01:25:53,302 Great God in heaven. Holy shit. 1949 01:25:53,464 --> 01:25:55,122 We've got six minutes left! How did that happen? 1950 01:25:55,266 --> 01:25:56,673 Look, have you got anything for six minutes? 1951 01:25:56,801 --> 01:25:58,110 Have you rehearsed anything? Anything? Anything? 1952 01:25:58,235 --> 01:25:59,163 Listen to me. Listen to me. 1953 01:25:59,270 --> 01:26:03,263 Darlin', remember I said to you, one door closes, another one opens? 1954 01:26:03,507 --> 01:26:04,435 You go downstairs. 1955 01:26:04,542 --> 01:26:06,397 Get your music and come up and sing. 1956 01:26:06,544 --> 01:26:08,616 - Now? - Lola, go, go, go. 1957 01:26:08,779 --> 01:26:09,957 You can do it. 1958 01:26:10,081 --> 01:26:11,291 He said, go! Go! 1959 01:26:11,415 --> 01:26:12,343 Before he gets done. 1960 01:26:12,450 --> 01:26:14,784 That gives shy persons the strength to get up... 1961 01:26:14,952 --> 01:26:16,960 and do what needs to be done. 1962 01:27:13,814 --> 01:27:17,109 So, we'll look forward to seeing you back here at the Fitzgerald Theater... 1963 01:27:17,317 --> 01:27:18,527 next week at this same time. 1964 01:27:18,652 --> 01:27:20,954 Brought to you once again by your friends at Powdermilk Biscuits. 1965 01:27:21,121 --> 01:27:23,063 Six minutes. Lola's gonna sing a song. 1966 01:27:23,223 --> 01:27:24,914 Your barn doors are open. 1967 01:27:25,059 --> 01:27:27,928 But first, we're going to bring a young woman on... 1968 01:27:28,128 --> 01:27:31,030 to make her debut on our show. 1969 01:27:31,232 --> 01:27:34,461 Let's bring out this young and very talented... 1970 01:27:34,668 --> 01:27:37,832 young woman who knows all those good old songs... 1971 01:27:38,039 --> 01:27:40,276 to make her very first performance... 1972 01:27:40,442 --> 01:27:42,449 right here on our radio show. 1973 01:27:42,610 --> 01:27:47,695 Please welcome now the beautiful young Miss Lola Johnson. 1974 01:27:47,982 --> 01:27:49,062 Lola Johnson. 1975 01:27:49,185 --> 01:27:50,679 Ladies and gentlemen. 1976 01:28:00,629 --> 01:28:03,858 ♪ Frankie and Johnny were sweethearts ♪ 1977 01:28:04,066 --> 01:28:06,881 ♪ But he was doin' her wrong ♪ 1978 01:28:07,069 --> 01:28:10,365 ♪ He was doin' her wrong in a bad way ♪ 1979 01:28:10,574 --> 01:28:12,745 ♪ But she was good and strong ♪ 1980 01:28:12,908 --> 01:28:16,072 ♪ He was her man ♪ 1981 01:28:16,279 --> 01:28:18,286 ♪ But he was a jerk ♪ 1982 01:28:18,447 --> 01:28:19,909 Is that the way this song goes? 1983 01:28:20,050 --> 01:28:21,610 Um, sort of. 1984 01:28:21,752 --> 01:28:23,694 ♪ He was in a hotel with Nelly Bly ♪ 1985 01:28:23,854 --> 01:28:27,716 ♪ And the gun went rooty-toot-toot ♪ 1986 01:28:27,958 --> 01:28:30,772 ♪ She shot the bastard in the heart ♪ 1987 01:28:30,962 --> 01:28:32,936 ♪ And ruined his nice suit ♪ 1988 01:28:33,096 --> 01:28:36,358 ♪ He was her man ♪ 1989 01:28:36,566 --> 01:28:38,737 ♪ But he was no damn good ♪ 1990 01:28:41,072 --> 01:28:44,454 ♪ So, they took him up to the graveyard ♪ 1991 01:28:44,675 --> 01:28:48,253 ♪ And stuck him in the dirt ♪ 1992 01:28:48,479 --> 01:28:51,097 ♪ Which was oh, so very sad ♪ 1993 01:28:51,282 --> 01:28:53,617 ♪ And the waste of a nice clean shirt ♪ 1994 01:28:53,785 --> 01:28:56,818 ♪ He was her man ♪ 1995 01:28:57,021 --> 01:28:59,869 ♪ But he was doin' her wrong ♪ 1996 01:29:00,058 --> 01:29:01,040 What's the next line? 1997 01:29:01,160 --> 01:29:04,575 I've no idea. I don't know. 1998 01:29:04,797 --> 01:29:07,961 ♪ He had no idea what happened ♪ 1999 01:29:08,167 --> 01:29:11,615 ♪ He was wavin' hello to God ♪ 2000 01:29:11,837 --> 01:29:14,487 ♪ He died from eatin' squirrels ♪ 2001 01:29:14,673 --> 01:29:17,423 ♪ And they laid him in the sod ♪ 2002 01:29:17,609 --> 01:29:20,708 ♪ He was her man ♪ 2003 01:29:20,914 --> 01:29:22,921 ♪ And he was doin' her wrong ♪ 2004 01:29:23,082 --> 01:29:25,187 Cool song. Wrap it up. 2005 01:29:25,351 --> 01:29:28,547 ♪ So that was Frankie and Johnny ♪ 2006 01:29:28,755 --> 01:29:32,050 ♪ And that's the end of my song ♪ 2007 01:29:32,258 --> 01:29:35,487 ♪ She put a hose in his tailpipe ♪ 2008 01:29:35,695 --> 01:29:37,867 ♪ 'Cause he had done her wrong ♪ 2009 01:29:38,031 --> 01:29:40,900 ♪ He was her man ♪ 2010 01:29:41,100 --> 01:29:47,046 ♪ And that's all she wrote ♪ 2011 01:29:48,375 --> 01:29:49,804 Thank you. 2012 01:29:50,010 --> 01:29:52,628 Ha ha ha! 2013 01:29:52,813 --> 01:29:55,180 There's a young woman who's going a long way. 2014 01:29:55,349 --> 01:29:56,910 We're going, too. We're out of here, 2015 01:29:57,051 --> 01:29:58,294 And that's our show. 2016 01:29:58,719 --> 01:30:00,475 Remember to keep your feet on the ground... 2017 01:30:00,621 --> 01:30:02,148 your hopes up high... 2018 01:30:02,289 --> 01:30:04,493 pray for rain, keep the humor dry... 2019 01:30:04,658 --> 01:30:07,047 and eat those Powdermilk Biscuits. 2020 01:30:07,229 --> 01:30:08,952 Thank you, everybody. 2021 01:30:09,096 --> 01:30:16,679 ♪ Come and sit by my side if you love me ♪ 2022 01:30:17,072 --> 01:30:24,393 ♪ Do not hasten to bid me adieu ♪ 2023 01:30:24,779 --> 01:30:32,417 ♪ But remember the Red River Valley ♪ 2024 01:30:32,822 --> 01:30:40,754 ♪ And the one who has loved you so true ♪ 2025 01:30:41,163 --> 01:30:42,243 Show's almost over. 2026 01:30:42,365 --> 01:30:43,706 In more ways than one. 2027 01:30:43,833 --> 01:30:46,320 Nice perfume. Who are you with? The show? 2028 01:30:46,502 --> 01:30:47,931 In a way. 2029 01:30:48,070 --> 01:30:50,306 I used to listen to this show every week. 2030 01:30:50,474 --> 01:30:55,110 Hmm. Well, it was great in its time, but the time's up. Life moves on. 2031 01:30:55,379 --> 01:30:56,808 It does. 2032 01:30:56,946 --> 01:30:58,670 So, be careful driving tonight. 2033 01:30:58,815 --> 01:31:00,790 Need a lift somewhere? 2034 01:31:00,950 --> 01:31:03,503 There's a shortcut to the airport. 2035 01:31:03,686 --> 01:31:08,389 A steep hill followed by a series of sharp curves and a large oak tree. 2036 01:31:08,659 --> 01:31:10,415 What's your name? 2037 01:31:10,560 --> 01:31:11,487 Asphodel. 2038 01:31:11,595 --> 01:31:13,319 Pretty. I like your hair that way. 2039 01:31:13,463 --> 01:31:16,332 ♪ Come and sit by my side... ♪ 2040 01:31:16,533 --> 01:31:17,678 When I used to listen to them... 2041 01:31:17,801 --> 01:31:19,972 it was like they were all my really good friends. 2042 01:31:20,138 --> 01:31:21,763 But something else happened, right? 2043 01:31:21,905 --> 01:31:22,833 Right. 2044 01:31:22,941 --> 01:31:24,915 Well... 2045 01:31:25,075 --> 01:31:29,516 I'm that something else. 2046 01:31:29,781 --> 01:31:37,364 ♪ But remember the Red River Valley ♪ 2047 01:31:47,933 --> 01:31:49,307 How long is the ride to the airport? 2048 01:31:49,435 --> 01:31:50,362 Twenty minutes. 2049 01:31:50,469 --> 01:31:53,284 She said there was a shortcut. 2050 01:31:53,472 --> 01:31:54,716 Yes, sir. I know it. 2051 01:32:28,476 --> 01:32:31,126 That was the last we saw of him. 2052 01:32:31,311 --> 01:32:33,286 The car hit a tree and blew up. 2053 01:32:35,616 --> 01:32:38,682 Good-bye, axeman. 2054 01:32:38,886 --> 01:32:43,163 But it didn't change a thing. 2055 01:32:43,424 --> 01:32:44,799 They sang Sweet By and By... 2056 01:32:44,925 --> 01:32:51,253 and the audience filed out and everybody packed up and left. 2057 01:32:51,599 --> 01:32:52,548 First thing in the morning... 2058 01:32:52,667 --> 01:32:54,903 a truck from the demolition company pulls up... 2059 01:32:55,069 --> 01:33:00,023 and two guys started drilling for the explosives. 2060 01:33:00,308 --> 01:33:04,050 Just like ya learned in eighth grade English. 2061 01:33:04,279 --> 01:33:09,036 ♪ So gather ye rosebuds while ye may ♪ 2062 01:33:09,317 --> 01:33:14,914 ♪ Oh, time is still a-flying ♪ 2063 01:33:15,224 --> 01:33:21,301 ♪ This same flower that smiles today ♪ 2064 01:33:21,630 --> 01:33:25,405 ♪ Tomorrow ♪ 2065 01:33:25,634 --> 01:33:27,522 ♪ Will be dying ♪ 2066 01:33:41,085 --> 01:33:42,808 Come on, pal. 2067 01:33:42,953 --> 01:33:44,447 Let me buy you a drink. 2068 01:33:49,760 --> 01:33:50,840 Ah! 2069 01:34:07,979 --> 01:34:09,986 Donna, make it three eggs over. 2070 01:34:10,148 --> 01:34:12,003 - No, listen to her. - I was tellin' you. 2071 01:34:12,150 --> 01:34:13,132 What were you saying? 2072 01:34:13,251 --> 01:34:15,520 We are talkin' about doin' a farewell tour. 2073 01:34:15,687 --> 01:34:16,832 - Yeah. - Oh, who? 2074 01:34:16,955 --> 01:34:18,897 Oh, the whole gang from the old radio show. 2075 01:34:19,057 --> 01:34:20,912 - Yeah. - But the show's been over for years. 2076 01:34:21,059 --> 01:34:21,987 Yeah, I mean... 2077 01:34:22,093 --> 01:34:23,719 So? I always wanted to do a farewell tour. 2078 01:34:23,862 --> 01:34:25,172 I loved doin' that last show. 2079 01:34:25,297 --> 01:34:28,395 I just want to do one last show and then another one... 2080 01:34:28,600 --> 01:34:30,324 until I'm in a wheelchair. 2081 01:34:30,469 --> 01:34:32,324 I just want to keep doin' them. 2082 01:34:32,471 --> 01:34:34,260 You know, as long as I can remember the words. 2083 01:34:34,406 --> 01:34:36,162 There's all sorts of towns we haven't played. 2084 01:34:36,308 --> 01:34:39,439 I mean, you've got Gooseberry Falls and Lake Winnebigoshish. 2085 01:34:39,645 --> 01:34:42,492 Up in Lake Winnebigoshish a lot of people are waitin' to see us. 2086 01:34:42,682 --> 01:34:43,729 Well, you... don't count on me. 2087 01:34:43,849 --> 01:34:44,961 I got a lot of stuff happening. 2088 01:34:45,084 --> 01:34:46,197 What? 2089 01:34:46,319 --> 01:34:48,424 Oh, things. Things that are in the works. 2090 01:34:48,588 --> 01:34:51,271 Different deals I'm... working out. 2091 01:34:51,457 --> 01:34:53,246 I'll be in and out of town a lot. 2092 01:34:53,393 --> 01:34:56,175 - Yeah, OK. So, what about you? - Hey, I'm free. 2093 01:34:56,362 --> 01:34:57,290 - Oh! - Great! 2094 01:34:57,397 --> 01:34:59,252 - Workin' at the parking ramp. - The parkin' ramp? 2095 01:34:59,399 --> 01:35:01,254 Yes. It's a good job. I like it. 2096 01:35:01,401 --> 01:35:02,349 I read a lot of books. 2097 01:35:02,469 --> 01:35:03,397 Make that four eggs. 2098 01:35:03,503 --> 01:35:04,910 Oh, boy. You're readin' a lot. 2099 01:35:05,038 --> 01:35:07,460 - Yeah. - That's interesting. 2100 01:35:07,708 --> 01:35:09,464 Oh, look at this! Look who's here! 2101 01:35:09,610 --> 01:35:10,951 Oh, my God, I miss these guys. 2102 01:35:11,078 --> 01:35:12,866 Ha ha ha! 2103 01:35:13,013 --> 01:35:15,948 Look who just blew in from the old prairie. 2104 01:35:16,150 --> 01:35:19,598 I thought you left town ahead of the sheriff? 2105 01:35:19,820 --> 01:35:22,438 Well, the woman decided not to press charges. 2106 01:35:22,623 --> 01:35:24,794 Oh, yeah? What was the crime? Snorin'? 2107 01:35:24,959 --> 01:35:27,196 Ha ha ha! 2108 01:35:27,361 --> 01:35:28,954 Love. 2109 01:35:29,097 --> 01:35:30,526 We just got back in town... 2110 01:35:30,665 --> 01:35:32,324 from playin' the casinos in South Dakota. 2111 01:35:32,467 --> 01:35:33,896 Yeah? Playin' what? Pinochle? 2112 01:35:34,035 --> 01:35:35,017 Ha ha ha! 2113 01:35:35,136 --> 01:35:36,478 Playin' our music. 2114 01:35:36,604 --> 01:35:38,644 Hey, we hear you might be gettin' a tour up. 2115 01:35:38,807 --> 01:35:39,789 Oh, yeah. 2116 01:35:39,908 --> 01:35:41,980 We've added some rope tricks to the repertoire. 2117 01:35:42,144 --> 01:35:44,054 Flaming lariats. 2118 01:35:44,212 --> 01:35:45,739 It's called 'Rings of Fire.' 2119 01:35:45,881 --> 01:35:47,888 Well, you know, we got a bus with bunk beds... 2120 01:35:48,050 --> 01:35:50,668 and we're goin' back to playin' churches and schools. 2121 01:35:50,853 --> 01:35:51,780 Look at this. 2122 01:35:51,887 --> 01:35:55,149 She's only been workin' six months and she's now the manager. 2123 01:35:56,091 --> 01:35:57,018 What does she do? 2124 01:35:57,126 --> 01:35:58,686 Um, I have no idea. 2125 01:35:58,828 --> 01:36:01,097 - Somethin' religious? - Software. 2126 01:36:01,263 --> 01:36:03,685 Oh, it's big. It's movin' like monkeys. 2127 01:36:03,866 --> 01:36:05,360 Hi. 2128 01:36:05,501 --> 01:36:07,867 All right, so, I looked at your pension stuff. 2129 01:36:08,037 --> 01:36:09,214 Oh, good. 2130 01:36:09,339 --> 01:36:11,608 It's a horror show. 2131 01:36:11,774 --> 01:36:14,424 Have you ever heard of mutual funds? 2132 01:36:14,611 --> 01:36:16,750 You know, Mom, honestly, you would have done a lot better... 2133 01:36:16,913 --> 01:36:20,393 if you'd just stuck it in a shoe box and put it under your bed. 2134 01:36:20,617 --> 01:36:23,465 Well, that's why I wanted you to help me. 2135 01:36:23,653 --> 01:36:25,563 So... here. Sign there. 2136 01:36:25,722 --> 01:36:26,671 What is this? 2137 01:36:26,790 --> 01:36:28,480 I have to get your assets working again. 2138 01:36:28,625 --> 01:36:30,567 - My what? - Your assets. 2139 01:36:30,728 --> 01:36:34,306 Oh. Oh! Power of attorney. 2140 01:36:34,531 --> 01:36:36,636 Oh! And you spent $6,000 on a bus? 2141 01:36:36,801 --> 01:36:37,728 Yeah. 2142 01:36:37,835 --> 01:36:39,112 Why didn't you ask me first? 2143 01:36:39,236 --> 01:36:41,145 Well, I'm sorry. 2144 01:36:41,305 --> 01:36:43,672 So... 2145 01:36:43,841 --> 01:36:45,696 Can I keep the bus or? 2146 01:36:48,813 --> 01:36:50,722 We'll talk about it later. 2147 01:36:50,882 --> 01:36:52,737 - Hey... - That sounds like a no. 2148 01:36:52,884 --> 01:36:53,899 I love you, too. 2149 01:36:54,018 --> 01:36:55,393 Bye, guys. 2150 01:36:55,520 --> 01:36:57,276 Donna? 2151 01:36:57,422 --> 01:36:58,567 - Bye! - Oh, hey. Bye. 2152 01:36:58,690 --> 01:36:59,770 So long. 2153 01:36:59,891 --> 01:37:00,873 I thought that was a terrific eulogy you gave... 2154 01:37:00,992 --> 01:37:02,780 for old man Soderberg at his memorial service. 2155 01:37:02,927 --> 01:37:03,855 Thank you. 2156 01:37:03,962 --> 01:37:05,937 Too bad the old coot couldn't have been there to hear it. 2157 01:37:06,098 --> 01:37:09,393 Yeah, and to have missed it by just a few days. 2158 01:37:09,601 --> 01:37:11,456 Hmm. Ha ha! 2159 01:37:11,603 --> 01:37:12,847 Ha ha! 2160 01:37:16,574 --> 01:37:17,818 Ha ha ha! 2161 01:37:26,052 --> 01:37:27,481 I still love your laugh. 2162 01:37:27,620 --> 01:37:28,602 Oh, yeah. 2163 01:37:28,721 --> 01:37:31,241 - Hee hee hee! - I got it. 2164 01:37:31,424 --> 01:37:33,726 I get bored. 2165 01:37:33,893 --> 01:37:34,940 Uh-huh. 2166 01:37:35,061 --> 01:37:37,134 Ha ha ha! 2167 01:37:37,297 --> 01:37:39,020 Thank you. 2168 01:37:39,166 --> 01:37:41,021 That joke just gets better and better. 2169 01:37:41,168 --> 01:37:43,208 - You know? - Yep. 2170 01:37:47,007 --> 01:37:48,501 Anybody want to change their order? 2171 01:37:51,078 --> 01:37:52,736 Can I get a coffee? 2172 01:37:53,127 --> 01:37:55,337 Ha ha ha! 2173 01:37:55,638 --> 01:37:58,238 Ha ha ha! 2174 01:38:33,670 --> 01:38:35,557 ♪ In the sweet ♪ 2175 01:38:35,705 --> 01:38:37,112 ♪ In the sweet ♪ 2176 01:38:37,240 --> 01:38:38,866 ♪ By and by ♪ 2177 01:38:39,008 --> 01:38:40,502 ♪ By and by ♪ 2178 01:38:40,643 --> 01:38:47,069 ♪ We shall meet on that beautiful shore ♪ 2179 01:38:47,416 --> 01:38:50,612 ♪ In the sweet ♪ 2180 01:38:50,819 --> 01:38:54,048 ♪ By and by ♪ 2181 01:38:54,257 --> 01:39:00,902 ♪ We shall meet on that beautiful shore ♪ 2182 01:39:01,263 --> 01:39:06,413 ♪ There's a land that is fairer than day ♪ 2183 01:39:06,702 --> 01:39:08,011 Come on, Lola. 2184 01:39:08,136 --> 01:39:14,431 ♪ And by faith we can see it afar ♪ 2185 01:39:14,776 --> 01:39:21,454 ♪ But the Father awaits over there ♪ 2186 01:39:21,815 --> 01:39:26,223 ♪ To prepare us a dwelling place there ♪ 2187 01:39:26,487 --> 01:39:28,592 Everybody! Come on! Sing it with us now! 2188 01:39:28,756 --> 01:39:30,283 ♪ In the sweet ♪ 2189 01:39:30,424 --> 01:39:31,984 ♪ In the sweet ♪ 2190 01:39:32,126 --> 01:39:33,533 ♪ By and by ♪ 2191 01:39:33,661 --> 01:39:35,571 ♪ By and by ♪ 2192 01:39:35,729 --> 01:39:41,806 ♪ We shall meet on that beautiful shore ♪ 2193 01:39:42,135 --> 01:39:45,779 ♪ In the sweet ♪ 2194 01:39:46,006 --> 01:39:49,267 ♪ By and by ♪ 2195 01:39:49,475 --> 01:39:55,869 ♪ We shall meet on that beautiful shore ♪ 2196 01:39:56,214 --> 01:39:59,313 ♪ In the sweet ♪ 2197 01:39:59,519 --> 01:40:00,893 ♪ By and by ♪ 2198 01:40:01,020 --> 01:40:02,929 ♪ Ohh ♪ 2199 01:40:03,089 --> 01:40:09,101 ♪ We shall meet on that beautiful shore ♪ 2200 01:40:09,428 --> 01:40:13,006 ♪ Yeah, in the sweet ♪ 2201 01:40:13,231 --> 01:40:16,527 ♪ By and by ♪ 2202 01:40:16,735 --> 01:40:20,957 ♪ We shall meet on that beautiful shore ♪ 2203 01:40:21,206 --> 01:40:23,344 Take it home! 161401

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