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1
00:00:07,041 --> 00:00:09,152
SENATOR BROOKSIDE,
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE.
2
00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:10,687
WHAT IS IT NOW, SMART?
3
00:00:10,711 --> 00:00:13,678
THIS LOCKER HASN'T
BEEN CHECKED OUT YET.
4
00:00:23,090 --> 00:00:26,002
- WELL, HAVE YOU
DISCOVERED ANYTHING?
- I CERTAINLY DID.
5
00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,403
WHAT IS IT?
6
00:00:27,427 --> 00:00:30,128
THIS LOCKER CAN'T BE
OPENED FROM THE INSIDE.
7
00:00:35,101 --> 00:00:38,348
SECURITY CHECK COMPLETED.
YOU CAN HANG YOUR COAT UP NOW.
8
00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:41,884
OF COURSE I CAN HANG IT UP NOW. SMART, WHEN
ARE YOU GOING TO STOP THIS FOOLISHNESS?
9
00:00:41,908 --> 00:00:44,421
I'M SORRY, SENATOR,
BUT YOUR COMMITTEE
10
00:00:44,445 --> 00:00:46,122
HAPPENS TO BE DEALING
WITH INFORMATION
11
00:00:46,146 --> 00:00:48,191
THAT IS VITAL TO THE
SECURITY OF THIS COUNTRY.
12
00:00:48,215 --> 00:00:50,493
AND SOME OF THAT INFORMATION
HAS BEEN LEAKING OUT.
13
00:00:50,517 --> 00:00:53,062
I KNOW, BUT DO WE HAVE TO WORRY
ABOUT IT HERE IN THE ROMAN BATHS?
14
00:00:53,086 --> 00:00:55,432
YES, PARTICULARLY
HERE IN THE ROMAN BATHS.
15
00:00:55,456 --> 00:00:57,500
BECAUSE THERE ARE SIX
OF THESE ROMAN BATHS,
16
00:00:57,524 --> 00:00:59,402
AND EACH ONE OF THEM IS LOCATED
17
00:00:59,426 --> 00:01:01,471
RIGHT NEXT TO AN
IMPORTANT MISSILE BASE.
18
00:01:01,495 --> 00:01:03,973
- YES, I'M VERY
WELL AWARE OF THAT.
- YES, AND BESIDES THAT,
19
00:01:03,997 --> 00:01:05,942
WE'VE FELT FOR A LONG TIME
20
00:01:05,966 --> 00:01:08,211
THAT THESE BATHS ARE
SOMEHOW CONNECTED
21
00:01:08,235 --> 00:01:09,868
WITH THE KAOS ORGANIZATION.
22
00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:15,419
SO, YOU SEE, SENATOR BROOKSIDE,
23
00:01:15,443 --> 00:01:17,888
WE HAVE TO BE EXTREMELY CAREFUL.
24
00:01:17,912 --> 00:01:20,779
AND IT'S MY JOB TO SEE
THAT NOTHING GOES WRONG.
25
00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:32,202
MR. LEACH, GOOD MORNING,
YOU'RE JUST IN TIME.
26
00:01:32,226 --> 00:01:34,403
WHAT IS IT, MR. CENTURION?
27
00:01:34,427 --> 00:01:37,507
SENATOR BROOKSIDE
IS IN THE LOCKER ROOM.
28
00:01:37,531 --> 00:01:40,510
SPLENDID. IS HE ALONE?
29
00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:42,112
NO, THERE'S A CONTROL
AGENT WITH HIM.
30
00:01:42,136 --> 00:01:44,981
CONTROL HAS NEVER
BEEN A PROBLEM TO ME.
31
00:01:45,005 --> 00:01:48,139
IS THE SENATOR SCHEDULED
FOR THE STEAM ROOM?
32
00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:54,056
RIGHT NOW.
33
00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:56,159
EXCELLENT.
34
00:01:56,183 --> 00:01:59,262
THE TRUTH STEAM WILL GIVE
US THE RESULTS THAT WE DESIRE.
35
00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:00,719
SEE TO IT.
36
00:02:05,525 --> 00:02:07,437
HOW MUCH TRUTH STEAM
SHALL I ADMINISTER?
37
00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:09,806
OH, ENOUGH TO KEEP HIM
BABBLING FOR 10 MINUTES.
38
00:02:09,830 --> 00:02:12,709
Intercom: Telephone
call for Maxwell Smart.
39
00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:14,733
- DID YOU HEAR THAT?
- YES, I HEARD IT.
40
00:02:18,272 --> 00:02:20,992
Intercom: Telephone
call for Maxwell Smart.
41
00:02:25,245 --> 00:02:27,423
MAXWELL SMART SPEAKING.
42
00:02:27,447 --> 00:02:30,994
- HI, CHIEF. WHAT'S UP?
- DOES THE NAME MONTAGUE LEACH
MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?
43
00:02:31,018 --> 00:02:34,330
IT CERTAINLY DOES. HE'S THE
DRUMMER WITH THE ELECTRIC HAIR.
44
00:02:34,354 --> 00:02:37,734
NO, HE'S NOT A DRUMMER
WITH THE ELECTRIC HAIR.
45
00:02:37,758 --> 00:02:39,402
HE LEFT THE GROUP?
46
00:02:39,426 --> 00:02:41,738
MAX, HE'S AN ECCENTRIC
47
00:02:41,762 --> 00:02:43,640
BUT HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL KAOS AGENT
48
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:46,309
WHO RUNS A CHAIN OF SPAS
CALLED THE ROMAN BATHS.
49
00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:49,645
YES, CHIEF, NOW THAT YOU
MENTION IT, IT DOES SOUND FAMILIAR.
50
00:02:49,669 --> 00:02:51,347
THEN YOU'VE HEARD
OF MONTAGUE LEACH.
51
00:02:51,371 --> 00:02:53,350
NO, I'VE HEARD OF
THE ROMAN BATHS.
52
00:02:53,374 --> 00:02:56,353
MAX, YOU'RE IN THE ROMAN BATHS.
53
00:02:56,377 --> 00:02:59,489
THEN IT ALL TIES UP, CHIEF.
I'VE NOT ONLY HEARD OF IT,
54
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:01,880
I'VE SEEN IT. IT'S ON
SENATOR BROOKSIDE'S TOWEL.
55
00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:16,394
NOW, CENTURION, THE TRUTH STEAM.
56
00:03:43,023 --> 00:03:46,202
WELCOME TO THE ROMAN
BATHS, SENATOR BROOKSIDE.
57
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:48,871
THIS IS MONTAGUE LEACH SPEAKING.
58
00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:51,841
Every question I put
to you, you will answer,
59
00:03:51,865 --> 00:03:55,011
and you will answer
truthfully and completely.
60
00:03:55,035 --> 00:03:57,080
Do you understand?
61
00:03:57,104 --> 00:03:59,115
I UNDERSTAND.
62
00:03:59,139 --> 00:04:01,951
Chief: Max, don't let the senator
out of your sight for a second.
63
00:04:01,975 --> 00:04:04,554
CHIEF, YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL
ME THAT. WHILE I'M TALKING TO YOU,
64
00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:07,423
HE'S NOT FIVE FEET AWAY
FROM ME IN THE STEAM ROOM.
65
00:04:07,447 --> 00:04:09,526
OUR LATEST
SURFACE-TO-AIR MISSILE
66
00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:12,962
IS SOMETHING OUR TECHNOLOGY
IS EXTREMELY PROUD OF.
67
00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:16,087
ITS TIP RISES TO A PERFECT PEAK.
68
00:04:17,724 --> 00:04:20,703
IT HAS AN AMAZING SMALL LENGTH.
69
00:04:20,727 --> 00:04:23,506
I'LL SAY ONE THING FOR
SENATOR BROOKSIDE,
70
00:04:23,530 --> 00:04:27,076
FOR A MAN HIS AGE, IT'S NO WONDER
HE'S IN SUCH GREAT PHYSICAL SHAPE.
71
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,911
Chief: What do you mean?
72
00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:31,975
HE'S NOT ONLY TAKING A STEAM
BATH, HE'S DOING CALISTHENICS.
73
00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:51,543
I'M GOING TO PUT THE
BABIES TO BED, MAX.
74
00:05:59,325 --> 00:06:01,237
YOU NEED ANY HELP, 99?
75
00:06:01,261 --> 00:06:03,072
NO THANKS, LOVE. I
DON'T NEED ANY HELP.
76
00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:06,475
OH, WELL, I COULD USE SOME.
77
00:06:06,499 --> 00:06:08,811
WHEN YOU GET A MINUTE,
WOULD YOU CALL MY MOTHER
78
00:06:08,835 --> 00:06:11,180
AND TELL HER WE
GOT HOME ALL RIGHT?
79
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:13,872
YOU GOT HOME ALL RIGHT.
I'M STILL OUT IN THE HALL.
80
00:06:25,485 --> 00:06:28,364
- WHO IS IT?
- MAX, IT'S ME, THE CHIEF,OPEN THE DOOR.
81
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,967
OH, COULD YOU COME
BACK A LITTLE LATER, CHIEF?
82
00:06:30,991 --> 00:06:33,636
NO, MAX, IT'S URGENT. I
HAVE TO SEE YOU RIGHT AWAY.
83
00:06:33,660 --> 00:06:35,838
YEAH, WELL, I HAVE
MY HANDS FULL NOW.
84
00:06:35,862 --> 00:06:37,742
WELL, MAYBE THE DOOR IS OPEN.
85
00:06:40,967 --> 00:06:42,934
SORRY ABOUT THAT, MAX.
86
00:06:45,406 --> 00:06:47,083
MAX, WHERE HAVE YOU
BEEN ALL AFTERNOON?
87
00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:48,551
I'VE BEEN TRYING TO
GET A HOLD OF YOU.
88
00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:50,487
99 AND I TOOK THE TWINS
TO SEE THEIR GRANDMOTHER,
89
00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:51,820
WE JUST GOT BACK.
WHAT'S UP CHIEF?
90
00:06:51,844 --> 00:06:54,857
THIS AFTERNOON WE
CAPTURED A KAOS COURIER
91
00:06:54,881 --> 00:06:57,260
WITH SECRET PLANS TAKEN
FROM SENATOR BROOKSIDE
92
00:06:57,284 --> 00:07:00,463
ONLY YESTERDAY WHILE HE WAS
IN YOUR PROTECTIVE CUSTODY.
93
00:07:00,487 --> 00:07:02,331
BUT THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE, CHIEF.
94
00:07:02,355 --> 00:07:04,967
THEY COULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN ANY
INFORMATION OUT OF SENATOR BROOKSIDE
95
00:07:04,991 --> 00:07:07,103
I NEVER LET HIM OUT OF MY
SIGHT FOR A SINGLE MOMENT.
96
00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:09,271
WELL, THAT CONFIRMS
OUR SUSPICION
97
00:07:09,295 --> 00:07:11,107
THAT MONTAGUE LEACH'S SPAS
98
00:07:11,131 --> 00:07:13,342
ARE INVOLVED IN
OUR SECURITY LEAKS.
99
00:07:13,366 --> 00:07:16,579
- HERE, WILL YOU HOLD THIS
DIAPER BAG FOR ME?
- YEAH.
100
00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:19,682
IF WE ONLY HAD PROOF...
THIS ISN'T A DIAPER BAG.
101
00:07:19,706 --> 00:07:21,951
- IT'S A BOTTLE BAG.
- NO, IT'S A DIAPER BAG.
102
00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:23,452
IT'S A BOTTLE BAG.
103
00:07:23,476 --> 00:07:26,455
LOOK, I'M THE FATHER,
AND I SAID IT'S A DIAPER BAG.
104
00:07:28,682 --> 00:07:31,794
IF THAT ISN'T ENOUGH TO
CONVINCE YOU, MAYBE THIS WILL.
105
00:07:31,818 --> 00:07:35,519
OH, YOU BETTER GET THAT
OFF RIGHT AWAY. MILK STAINS.
106
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:40,970
WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO, MAX?
107
00:07:40,994 --> 00:07:43,305
THE CHIEF. HE JUST WENT IN
THE KITCHEN FOR A MINUTE.
108
00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:46,530
OH, YOU GET IT. I'LL
CLEAN UP THIS STUFF.
109
00:07:48,735 --> 00:07:50,512
HI, MAX. IS THE CHIEF HERE?
110
00:07:50,536 --> 00:07:53,516
- CHIEF, IT'S LARABEE.
- TELL HIM I'M NOT HERE.
111
00:07:53,540 --> 00:07:56,218
HE'S NOT ON THE
PHONE. HE'S AT THE DOOR.
112
00:07:56,242 --> 00:07:58,220
THEN DON'T OPEN IT.
113
00:07:58,244 --> 00:08:00,222
IT'S TOO LATE.
114
00:08:00,246 --> 00:08:02,725
MAYBE NOT. HOW DO YOU GET
THIS WINDOW OPEN IN HERE?
115
00:08:02,749 --> 00:08:05,661
SOMETIMES I THINK THE
CHIEF DOESN'T LIKE ME.
116
00:08:05,685 --> 00:08:07,430
WHY DO YOU SAY THAT, LARABEE?
117
00:08:07,454 --> 00:08:10,366
I'LL TELL YOU, 99. TAKE THAT
BEAUTIFUL JAPANESE DAGGER
118
00:08:10,390 --> 00:08:13,102
- HE GAVE TO ME
FOR MY BIRTHDAY...
- I SAW THAT DAGGER.
119
00:08:13,126 --> 00:08:15,438
THAT'S VERY EXPENSIVE. IF
THE CHIEF DIDN'T LIKE YOU,
120
00:08:15,462 --> 00:08:17,039
HE WOULDN'T GIVE
YOU A GIFT LIKE THAT.
121
00:08:17,063 --> 00:08:20,498
THAT'S JUST IT, 99. HE DIDN'T
GIVE IT TO ME, HE THREW IT AT ME.
122
00:08:22,535 --> 00:08:26,082
A JAPANESE DAGGER, EH?
THAT'S A VERY UNUSUAL GIFT.
123
00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:28,217
YEAH, IT IS. BUT WHAT
AM I GOING TO DO WITH IT?
124
00:08:28,241 --> 00:08:30,608
HAVE YOU GOT ANY
SUGGESTIONS, MAX?
125
00:08:35,448 --> 00:08:37,727
- WHAT IS IT, LARABEE?
- THIS ENVELOPE JUST CAME
FROM THE PENTAGON.
126
00:08:37,751 --> 00:08:40,263
IT'S BEEN OFFICIALLY SEALED,
CONTAINS TOP SECRET INFORMATION
127
00:08:40,287 --> 00:08:42,297
- FOR YOU AND YOU ALONE.
- THANK YOU, LARABEE.
128
00:08:42,321 --> 00:08:45,561
YOUR PLAN FOR UNDERCOVER
SURVEILLANCE HAS BEEN APPROVED.
129
00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:49,138
MAX, THIS IS THE BREAK
WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR.
130
00:08:49,162 --> 00:08:51,140
WELL, AREN'T YOU
GOING TO OPEN IT?
131
00:08:51,164 --> 00:08:53,044
WHY? LARABEE NEVER LIED BEFORE.
132
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:58,147
THUS FAR, CENTURION, THERE IS ONLY
ONE REMAINING PIECE OF INFORMATION
133
00:08:58,171 --> 00:09:00,116
NEEDED TO COMPLETE THE REPORT
134
00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:03,452
AND THAT INFORMATION
LIES WITH SENATOR VAN HORN.
135
00:09:03,476 --> 00:09:05,120
SENATOR VAN HORN
HAS BEEN IN EUROPE
136
00:09:05,144 --> 00:09:07,489
INSPECTING MISSILE SITES. HE
WAS DUE BACK OVER THE WEEKEND.
137
00:09:07,513 --> 00:09:09,892
HAVE YOU SENT HIM THE
USUAL INVITATIONAL OFFER
138
00:09:09,916 --> 00:09:11,994
TO PARTAKE IN OUR
FACILITIES GRATIS?
139
00:09:12,018 --> 00:09:15,698
- IT'S BEEN DONE.
- THEN WE CAN BE EXPECTING
HIM MOMENTARILY.
140
00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:18,767
I WISH TO BE INFORMED
THE SECOND OF HIS ARRIVAL.
141
00:09:21,995 --> 00:09:25,774
YES?
142
00:09:25,798 --> 00:09:27,198
THANK YOU.
143
00:09:29,836 --> 00:09:32,181
THAT WAS MARCUS
AT THE FRONT DESK.
144
00:09:32,205 --> 00:09:35,017
SENATOR VAN HORN
HAS JUST CHECKED IN.
145
00:09:35,041 --> 00:09:37,286
AT LAST.
146
00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:40,122
AND GOOD NEWS... THERE'S A
CONTROL AGENT GUARDING HIM.
147
00:09:40,146 --> 00:09:41,657
WHY IS THAT GOOD NEWS?
148
00:09:41,681 --> 00:09:44,493
IT'S THE SAME CONTROL AGENT
THAT GUARDED SENATOR BROOKSIDE.
149
00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:46,028
MAXWELL SMART.
150
00:09:46,052 --> 00:09:48,331
THAT'S NOT GOOD NEWS.
151
00:09:48,355 --> 00:09:50,455
THAT'S SENSATIONAL NEWS.
152
00:10:03,069 --> 00:10:05,469
ALL RIGHT, SENATOR VAN
HORN, YOU CAN COME IN NOW.
153
00:10:08,742 --> 00:10:11,587
SO FAR SO GOOD. WE'VE GOT
TO CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE SPA
154
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:14,590
- FOR A HIDDEN MICROPHONE.
- WE'LL START RIGHT HERE
IN THIS ROOM,
155
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:17,960
BECAUSE THIS IS THE ROOM WHERE
SENATOR BROOKSIDE AND I WERE TALKING,
156
00:10:17,984 --> 00:10:20,162
- AND I KNOW THAT IT'S BUGGED.
- GOOD.
157
00:10:20,186 --> 00:10:23,465
- YOU LOOK OVER THERE
AND I'LL LOOK IN HERE.
- RIGHT, CHIEF.
158
00:10:23,489 --> 00:10:25,001
WAIT A MINUTE, CHIEF.
159
00:10:25,025 --> 00:10:27,492
I HAVE TO MAKE SURE
WE'RE NOT BEING WATCHED.
160
00:10:31,999 --> 00:10:34,077
WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?
161
00:10:34,101 --> 00:10:36,779
WELL, CHIEF, I HAD TO MAKE
SURE IT WASN'T A TWO-WAY MIRROR.
162
00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:39,415
LOOK FOR THE WIRING.
163
00:10:39,439 --> 00:10:42,307
IF THIS ROOM IS BUGGED,
WE'LL SPOT THE WIRING.
164
00:10:44,277 --> 00:10:48,257
WAIT A MINUTE, CHIEF, LOOK.
165
00:10:48,281 --> 00:10:51,427
THE OLD BUG-IN-THE-TOWEL TRICK.
166
00:10:51,451 --> 00:10:53,028
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
167
00:10:53,052 --> 00:10:54,363
THAT TOWEL, CHIEF.
168
00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:56,198
I'M ABSOLUTELY
POSITIVE IT'S BUGGED.
169
00:10:56,222 --> 00:10:58,342
I'M GOING TO CHECK IT OUT.
170
00:11:40,767 --> 00:11:42,245
GOOD, IT'S EMPTY.
171
00:11:42,269 --> 00:11:45,389
WE CAN TALK IN HERE
WITHOUT BEING OVERHEARD.
172
00:11:47,073 --> 00:11:48,885
I CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT, MAX.
173
00:11:48,909 --> 00:11:51,287
I KNOW INFORMATION IS LEAKING
OUT THROUGH THIS PLACE,
174
00:11:51,311 --> 00:11:54,511
BUT THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO
SIGN OF HOW IT'S BEING DONE.
175
00:11:57,850 --> 00:12:00,363
- THEY'RE IN
THE STEAM ROOM NOW.
- EXCELLENT.
176
00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:02,365
I'M SURE THEY'LL PROVE TO BE
177
00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:04,767
AS COOPERATIVE AS
OUR PREVIOUS GUESTS.
178
00:12:04,791 --> 00:12:07,892
GIVE THEM THE TRUTH STEAM.
179
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:12,208
BOY, IT'S REALLY GETTING
HOT IN HERE, CHIEF.
180
00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:14,643
IT IS A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE,
BUT I DON'T REALLY MIND.
181
00:12:14,667 --> 00:12:16,445
I CAN AFFORD TO
LOSE A FEW POUNDS.
182
00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:19,470
DON'T BE SILLY. FOR A MAN YOUR
AGE, YOU'RE IN FANTASTIC CONDITION.
183
00:12:23,710 --> 00:12:25,254
ACTUALLY, TO BE QUITE
TRUTHFUL WITH YOU, CHIEF,
184
00:12:25,278 --> 00:12:27,111
THAT'S QUITE A BAY
WINDOW YOU'VE GOT THERE.
185
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:30,392
ANYBODY EVER TELL
YOU YOU SEE PRETTY WELL
186
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:33,195
FOR A MAN WITH SQUINTY EYES?
187
00:12:33,219 --> 00:12:35,097
WELL, IT'S A GOOD THING
FOR CONTROL THAT I DO,
188
00:12:35,121 --> 00:12:37,533
BECAUSE THERE ARE A LOT
OF THINGS THAT YOU OVERLOOK.
189
00:12:37,557 --> 00:12:41,170
THE ONLY THINGS I OVERLOOK ARE
ALL THE MISTAKES THAT YOU MAKE.
190
00:12:41,194 --> 00:12:43,873
IF YOU WEREN'T LIKE A SON TO ME,
I'D HAVE FIRED YOU A LONG WHILE AGO.
191
00:12:43,897 --> 00:12:46,308
WELL, I'M VERY FOND
OF YOU TOO CHIEF
192
00:12:46,332 --> 00:12:48,010
IN SPITE OF ALL YOUR DRAWBACKS.
193
00:12:48,034 --> 00:12:49,846
I'M GLAD YOU FEEL THAT WAY, MAX.
194
00:12:49,870 --> 00:12:52,782
EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE THE CAUSE
OF ALL MY MIGRAINE HEADACHES.
195
00:12:52,806 --> 00:12:54,784
AND PREMATURELY GRAY HAIR.
196
00:12:54,808 --> 00:12:58,153
YOU DON'T HAVE ANY
HAIR, CHIEF, YOU'RE BALD.
197
00:12:58,177 --> 00:13:01,357
IF I DID HAVE ANY HAIR, IT
WOULD BE GRAY, BELIEVE ME.
198
00:13:01,381 --> 00:13:04,348
I'VE HEARD ENOUGH.
TURN OFF THE SPEAKER.
199
00:13:06,853 --> 00:13:09,765
SO, OUR SENATOR VAN
HORN TURNS OUT TO BE
200
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:12,969
THE CHIEF OF CONTROL.
201
00:13:12,993 --> 00:13:16,638
WE MUST DISPOSE
OF THEM IMMEDIATELY.
202
00:13:16,662 --> 00:13:19,930
LOCK THE DOOR TO THE STEAM ROOM.
203
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:25,236
TURN OFF THE TRUTH STEAM.
204
00:13:28,008 --> 00:13:29,986
THE TRUTH STEAM IS OFF
205
00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:33,289
NOW TURN UP THE
LIVE STEAM TO 500°.
206
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:34,745
THAT MUCH?
207
00:14:03,609 --> 00:14:05,821
CHIEF, THE TEMPERATURE IN HERE
208
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,957
IS DEFINITELY GETTING TOO HIGH.
209
00:14:07,981 --> 00:14:10,525
- WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?
- MY LOCKER KEY
IS MELTING.
210
00:14:10,549 --> 00:14:13,162
I'M GLAD YOU MENTIONED
IT. I THOUGHT IT WAS ONLY ME.
211
00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:15,586
IT IS VERY WARM IN HERE.
212
00:14:18,391 --> 00:14:20,535
CHIEF, LOOK AT YOUR TOUPEE.
213
00:14:20,559 --> 00:14:22,471
- WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH IT?
- IT'S SALUTING.
214
00:14:22,495 --> 00:14:25,441
- MAX, WE'VE GOT TO GET
OUT OF HERE RIGHT AWAY.
- RIGHT, CHIEF.
215
00:14:25,465 --> 00:14:27,209
HURRY UP, MAX, I'M HAVING
TROUBLE BREATHING.
216
00:14:27,233 --> 00:14:29,445
WHY DON'T YOU DO WHAT I DO WHEN
I HAVE TROUBLE BREATHING, CHIEF?
217
00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:30,946
- WHAT DO YOU DO?
- I TAKE STEAM.
218
00:14:30,970 --> 00:14:32,514
JUST GET THE DOOR OPEN.
219
00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:34,516
I CAN'T, CHIEF. IT'S STUCK.
220
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:36,073
LET ME TRY.
221
00:14:40,980 --> 00:14:43,159
MAX, IT ISN'T STUCK.
222
00:14:43,183 --> 00:14:44,793
IT'S LOCKED FROM THE OUTSIDE.
223
00:14:44,817 --> 00:14:46,195
WELL, THEN WE'RE IN LUCK, CHIEF.
224
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:48,297
ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS GO
OUTSIDE AND OPEN IT UP.
225
00:14:48,321 --> 00:14:51,300
HOW ARE WE GOING TO
IF WE'RE LOCKED INSIDE?
226
00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:52,968
DON'T YOU SEE THEY'RE
TRYING TO KILL US?
227
00:14:52,992 --> 00:14:54,937
THEN THAT MUST MEAN
THAT THEY'RE ONTO US.
228
00:14:54,961 --> 00:14:58,107
IF WE ONLY HAD A GUN, WE
COULD SHOOT OUR WAY OUT.
229
00:14:58,131 --> 00:14:59,442
MAX, WE DO HAVE A GUN.
230
00:14:59,466 --> 00:15:00,943
OF COURSE. WE DO HAVE A GUN?
231
00:15:00,967 --> 00:15:04,447
YES, I HAD CONTROL PUT A
MINI MAUSER UNDER MY TOUPEE.
232
00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:06,582
- A MINI MAUSER?
- YES.
233
00:15:06,606 --> 00:15:10,286
IT'S A NEW CONTROL WEAPON DEVELOPED
BY PROFESSOR PETER PECKENPAH
234
00:15:10,310 --> 00:15:12,288
YOU'VE SEEN IT. THE
PROFESSOR PETER PECKENPAH
235
00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:15,291
ALL-PURPOSE ANTIPERSONNEL
PECKENPAH POCKET PISTOL.
236
00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:19,562
OF COURSE. THE PROFESSOR-PETER-PECKENPAH
ALL-PURPOSE-ANTIPERSONNEL-
237
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:22,098
PECKENPAH-POCKET-PISTOL-
UNDER-THE-TOUPEE TRICK.
238
00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:23,899
MAX, WILL YOU OPEN THE DOOR?
239
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:26,100
I'LL SHOOT IT OPEN, CHIEF.
COME ON, STAND BACK.
240
00:15:26,124 --> 00:15:27,124
RIGHT.
241
00:15:37,870 --> 00:15:40,804
- MAX, THEY'RE COMING.
- COME ON, THIS WAY.
242
00:15:47,414 --> 00:15:49,025
THEY GOT AWAY.
243
00:15:49,049 --> 00:15:51,360
QUICKLY, SEAL OFF
THE ENTIRE SPA.
244
00:15:51,384 --> 00:15:53,784
I WANT THEM DEAD OR DEAD.
245
00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:12,681
PSST, CHIEF.
246
00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:16,018
- ARE THEY GONE?
- YES, I THINK WE'RE
IN THE CLEAR.
247
00:16:16,042 --> 00:16:17,986
YOUR SHOE PHONE...
IT'S OUR ONLY CHANCE.
248
00:16:18,010 --> 00:16:19,655
RIGHT, THE SHOE PHONE.
249
00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:23,125
WAIT A MINUTE, I CAN'T USE THE
SHOE PHONE, I LEFT IT IN THE LOCKER.
250
00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:25,894
- WELL, OPEN UP THE LOCKER.
- BUT I CAN'T.
251
00:16:25,918 --> 00:16:28,152
LOOK, THE STEAM MELTED
DOWN THE LOCKER KEY.
252
00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:32,501
MAX, LOOK AT YOUR KEY. IT'S
MELTED IN THE SHAPE OF A COIN.
253
00:16:32,525 --> 00:16:34,636
YEAH, JUST ABOUT
THE SIZE OF A DIME.
254
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:37,239
AND OVER THERE ON
THAT WALL IS THE PHONE.
255
00:16:37,263 --> 00:16:39,041
OF COURSE, CHIEF.
256
00:16:39,065 --> 00:16:42,511
WE'LL CALL A LOCKSMITH AND HAVE
A NEW KEY MADE FOR THE LOCKER.
257
00:16:42,535 --> 00:16:45,314
WE WON'T CALL A LOCKSMITH.
WE'LL CALL LARABEE.
258
00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:46,949
I DON'T THINK
THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
259
00:16:46,973 --> 00:16:49,885
I DON'T THINK LARABEE KNOWS
ANYTHING ABOUT LOCKERS OR KEYS.
260
00:16:49,909 --> 00:16:51,776
LARABEE CAN SEND HELP.
261
00:17:26,946 --> 00:17:29,658
WE SHOULD HAVE HEARD
FROM THEM BY NOW.
262
00:17:29,682 --> 00:17:32,894
DON'T WORRY. BELIEVE
ME, THEY'RE ALL RIGHT.
263
00:17:32,918 --> 00:17:34,430
I THINK THEY'RE IN TROUBLE.
264
00:17:34,454 --> 00:17:36,265
I THINK SO TOO.
265
00:17:38,791 --> 00:17:41,103
CONTROL HEADQUARTERS,
LARABEE SPEAKING.
266
00:17:41,127 --> 00:17:43,104
Max: LARABEE, MAXWELL SMART.
267
00:17:43,128 --> 00:17:45,307
SMART'S NOT IN. WOULD YOU
LIKE TO LEAVE A MESSAGE?
268
00:17:45,331 --> 00:17:48,043
Max: NO, I DON'T WANT
TO LEAVE A MESSAGE.
269
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:51,146
OKAY, FELLA.
270
00:17:51,170 --> 00:17:53,048
Max: CHIEF, HE HUNG UP ON ME.
271
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:55,417
Chief: MAX, NOW WE'VE GOT
TO GET OUT OF HERE ALIVE,
272
00:17:55,441 --> 00:17:58,253
- IF IT'S ONLY
TO KILL LARABEE.
- WHAT DO WE DO?
273
00:17:58,277 --> 00:18:01,824
- CALL HIM BACK.
- WITH WHAT? THAT WAS
MY LAST MELTED KEY.
274
00:18:01,848 --> 00:18:04,088
Chief: I'LL USE MINE.
275
00:18:13,893 --> 00:18:16,071
WELL, DIDN'T HE SAY WHO IT WAS?
276
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:18,040
NO, HE JUST WANTED
TO TALK TO MAX.
277
00:18:20,432 --> 00:18:23,144
- CONTROL HEADQUARTERS.
- LARABEE, THIS IS MAX.
278
00:18:23,168 --> 00:18:26,248
OH, HI, MAX. YOU JUST HAD A CALL, BUT
THE GUY DIDN'T WANT TO LAVE A MESSAGE.
279
00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:29,251
- LARABEE, THAT WAS ME.
- WAS THAT YOU?
280
00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:31,720
YOU SHOULD HAVE LEFT A
MESSAGE. WE'VE BEEN WORRIED SICK.
281
00:18:31,744 --> 00:18:33,588
LET ME TALK TO HIM, LARABEE.
282
00:18:33,612 --> 00:18:35,157
HELLO, MAX, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
283
00:18:35,181 --> 00:18:38,193
I'M FINE, 99, BUT BELIEVE
ME I'M GLAD YOU'RE THERE.
284
00:18:38,217 --> 00:18:41,764
THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. I'D
SURE HATE TO TRUST IT TO LARABEE.
285
00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:44,900
UH, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN, MAX.
286
00:18:44,924 --> 00:18:47,469
NOW GET THIS, 99,
AND GET IT STRAIGHT.
287
00:18:47,493 --> 00:18:50,238
THE SECURITY OF THE ENTIRE
UNITED STATES IS AT STAKE.
288
00:18:50,262 --> 00:18:52,507
THE SECURITY OF THE
ENTIRE UNITED STATES
289
00:18:52,531 --> 00:18:54,611
IS AT STAKE. TAKE
THIS DOWN, LARABEE.
290
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:58,080
THIS IS A CODE-FOUR ALERT.
291
00:18:58,104 --> 00:19:00,148
THIS IS A CODE-FOUR ALERT.
292
00:19:00,172 --> 00:19:01,850
CODE FOUR? YOU SURE
IT'S NOT A CODE FIVE?
293
00:19:01,874 --> 00:19:03,652
MAX, ARE YOU SURE
IT'S NOT A CODE FIVE?
294
00:19:03,676 --> 00:19:06,988
- CODE FOUR.
- CODE FOUR.
295
00:19:07,012 --> 00:19:10,826
THE SECURITY OF THE WHOLE UNITED STATES
IS AT STAKE, AND IT'S ONLY A CODE FOUR?
296
00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:13,528
SEEMS TO ME LIKE IT SHOULD BE A
FIVE, AT LEAST A FOUR AND A HALF.
297
00:19:13,552 --> 00:19:15,898
LET ME TALK TO HIM.
298
00:19:15,922 --> 00:19:17,699
MAX, ARE YOU SURE
THAT'S A CODE FOUR?
299
00:19:17,723 --> 00:19:20,168
LARABEE, WOULD YOU
GET OFF THE PHONE?
300
00:19:20,192 --> 00:19:22,103
Chief: GIVE ME THAT PHONE, MAX.
301
00:19:22,127 --> 00:19:23,472
LARABEE, THIS IS THE CHIEF.
302
00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:25,674
I CAN'T TALK TO YOU NOW, CHIEF.
303
00:19:25,698 --> 00:19:27,543
WE'RE IN THE MIDST
OF A CODE-FOUR ALERT.
304
00:19:27,567 --> 00:19:30,112
CHIEF, SOMEBODY'S COMING.
305
00:19:30,136 --> 00:19:31,896
LARABEE, HOLD ON.
306
00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:37,074
SORRY, GENTLEMEN,
YOU'VE BEEN CUT OFF.
307
00:19:38,711 --> 00:19:41,757
WELL, GENTLEMEN,
WE MEET AT LAST.
308
00:19:41,781 --> 00:19:43,659
SO YOU'RE MONTAGUE LEACH,
309
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:45,461
THE MAN THEY CALL "THE EMPEROR."
310
00:19:45,485 --> 00:19:48,329
NOW THAT WE'RE YOUR PRISONERS,
WHAT DO YOU INTEND TO DO TO US?
311
00:19:48,353 --> 00:19:50,298
I'M GOING TO DISPOSE OF YOU.
312
00:19:50,322 --> 00:19:52,100
AND THEN WHAT?
313
00:19:52,124 --> 00:19:54,670
WHICH ONE OF YOU
WOULD LIKE TO GO FIRST?
314
00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:57,139
WELL, THE CHIEF HAS SENIORITY.
315
00:19:57,163 --> 00:19:58,673
THANKS, MAX.
316
00:19:58,697 --> 00:20:01,042
WELL, AFTER ALL, CHIEF,
YOU WORKED FOR CONTROL
317
00:20:01,066 --> 00:20:03,912
FOR A LOT OF YEARS. YOU'RE
CERTAINLY ENTITLED TO A FEW BENEFITS.
318
00:20:03,936 --> 00:20:06,882
YOU WILL GO FIRST, MR. SMART.
319
00:20:06,906 --> 00:20:08,416
HOWEVER...
320
00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:11,119
I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU
A SPORTING CHANCE.
321
00:20:11,143 --> 00:20:13,663
DOES THAT MEAN I GET
TO GO TO THE TRACK?
322
00:20:14,580 --> 00:20:17,626
MR. SMART, THIS
IS TRIAL BY COMBAT,
323
00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:20,729
JUST AS IT WAS DONE IN
THE DAYS OF ANCIENT ROME
324
00:20:20,753 --> 00:20:23,832
WHEN THE GLADIATORS
FOUGHT IN THE COLISEUM.
325
00:20:23,856 --> 00:20:25,522
CENTURION?
326
00:20:32,332 --> 00:20:34,309
I THINK THIS HAS GONE FAR ENOUGH
327
00:20:34,333 --> 00:20:36,811
ALL RIGHT, YOU BIG UGLY GORILLA,
328
00:20:36,835 --> 00:20:39,736
LET'S SEE HOW GOOD YOU
ARE WITHOUT YOUR FORK.
329
00:20:50,983 --> 00:20:53,295
LISTEN, I HOPE I
WASN'T OUT OF LINE
330
00:20:53,319 --> 00:20:55,619
WITH THAT CRACK ABOUT
THE BIG UGLY GORILLA.
331
00:20:59,058 --> 00:21:01,691
WAIT A MINUTE. THIS ISN'T
FAIR, I DON'T HAVE A WEAPON.
332
00:21:05,764 --> 00:21:08,410
OH, I WAS THINKING MORE IN TERMS
333
00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:10,345
OF A SUB-MACHINE GUN.
334
00:21:10,369 --> 00:21:12,881
LET THE COMBAT BEGIN!
335
00:21:12,905 --> 00:21:14,716
LET IT BEGIN!
336
00:21:14,740 --> 00:21:17,874
MAX, YOU'RE THE
COMBAT. PUT ON THE GEAR.
337
00:21:41,734 --> 00:21:43,579
HEY, WATCH IT WITH THAT NET!
338
00:21:43,603 --> 00:21:45,781
YOU'RE LIABLE TO GET
MY SWORD TANGLED IN IT.
339
00:21:45,805 --> 00:21:47,838
THAT'S THE PURPOSE, MR. SMART.
340
00:22:38,324 --> 00:22:40,725
YOU SEE, HMM, YOU SEE?
341
00:22:45,331 --> 00:22:46,697
NOW?
342
00:23:08,621 --> 00:23:12,500
MR. LEACH, WHAT DO
YOU HAVE TO SAY NOW?
343
00:23:12,524 --> 00:23:15,370
VERY LITTLE. I'LL LET
THIS SPEAK FOR ME.
344
00:23:18,664 --> 00:23:20,141
NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE.
345
00:23:20,165 --> 00:23:22,932
WHAT DID YOU BUMP INTO ME
FOR, JUST WHEN I WAS TAKING AIM?
27628
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