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1
00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:49,747
[CAR HORNS HONKING]
2
00:00:49,967 --> 00:00:52,755
There's nothing to tell.
It's just some guy | work with.
3
00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:55,132
Come on.
Youre going out with a guy.
4
00:00:55,305 --> 00:00:57,842
There's gotta be something
wrong with him.
5
00:00:58,058 --> 00:00:59,924
So does he have a hump
and a hair piece?
6
00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:03,761
Wait. Does he eat chalk?
7
00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:08,232
| don't want her to go through
what | went through with Carl. Oh.
8
00:01:08,443 --> 00:01:11,231
Okay, everybody relax.
This is not even a date.
9
00:01:11,446 --> 00:01:14,404
Its just two people going out
to dinner and not having sex.
10
00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:16,152
Sounds like a date to me.
11
00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:21,870
Im back in high school,
in the middle of the cafeteria...
12
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:25,416
...and | realize I'm totally naked.
13
00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:27,163
-Oh, yeah.
-I've had that dream.
14
00:01:27,379 --> 00:01:31,464
Then | look down and | realize
there is a phone...
15
00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:34,007
...there.
16
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:36,839
-Instead of—
-That's right!
17
00:01:37,055 --> 00:01:38,545
MONICA: That one, I've never had.
PHOEBE: No.
18
00:01:38,724 --> 00:01:42,843
All of a sudden,
the phone starts to ring.
19
00:01:43,061 --> 00:01:44,802
And it turns out it's my mother.
20
00:01:46,565 --> 00:01:50,854
Which is very, very weird
because she never calls me.
21
00:01:55,866 --> 00:01:57,777
Hi.
22
00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:01,948
This guy says "hello,"
| wanna Kkill myself.
23
00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:03,408
Are you okay, sweetie?
24
00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:08,330
| feel like someone grabbed my small
intestine, pulled it out of my mouth...
25
00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:11,370
-...and tied it around my neck.
-Cookie?
26
00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:14,873
Carol moved her stuff out today.
27
00:02:15,093 --> 00:02:16,128
PHOEBE 8 JOEY:
Oh.
28
00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:18,089
-Let me get you some coffee.
-Thanks.
29
00:02:21,058 --> 00:02:22,799
Ew. Unh.
30
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:26,935
No. No, don't!
Stop cleansing my aura.
31
00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:29,767
Just leave my aura alone, okay?
32
00:02:31,777 --> 00:02:34,644
L'l be fine. All right? Really.
| hope she'll be very happy.
33
00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:36,152
-No, you don't.
-No, | don't.
34
00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:38,155
To hell with her. She left me!
35
00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:41,158
And you never knew she was a lesbian.
36
00:02:45,207 --> 00:02:47,369
No! Okay?
37
00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:50,330
Why does everyone
keep fixating on that?
38
00:02:51,963 --> 00:02:54,751
She didn't know. How should | know?
39
00:02:56,593 --> 00:02:59,255
Sometimes | wish | was a lesbian.
40
00:03:00,889 --> 00:03:02,880
Did | say that out loud?
41
00:03:04,810 --> 00:03:08,895
All right, Ross. Look, you're feeling
a lot of pain right now.
42
00:03:09,064 --> 00:03:11,476
Youre angry. You're hurting.
43
00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:13,940
Can | tell you what the answer is?
44
00:03:14,152 --> 00:03:15,438
Strip joints!
45
00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:19,946
Come on, you're single.
Have some hormones.
46
00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:22,445
See, but | don't want
to be single, okay?
47
00:03:22,661 --> 00:03:25,824
| just wanna be married again.
48
00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:33,078
And | just want a million dollars!
49
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,295
Rachel?
50
00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:38,173
Oh, God, Monica! Hi! Thank God!
51
00:03:38,343 --> 00:03:41,506
| went to your building and
this guy with a hammer said...
52
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,887
...tnat you might be here, and you are.
53
00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:47,634
-Can | get you some coffee?
-Decaf.
54
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:52,187
Okay, everybody, this is Rachel,
another Lincoln High survivor.
55
00:03:52,441 --> 00:03:54,899
This is everybody.
This is Chandler and Phoebe...
56
00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:57,351
...and Joey. And remember
my brother, Ross?
57
00:03:57,529 --> 00:03:58,644
-Sure!
-Hey.
58
00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:00,733
-Hi.
-Oh, God.
59
00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:08,320
[SIGHS]
60
00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:12,124
So you wanna tell us now, or are we
waiting for four wet bridesmaids?
61
00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:19,340
Oh, God! Well, it started about
a half-hour before the wedding.
62
00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:21,921
| was in this room
With all the presents...
63
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,927
...and | was looking
at this gravy boat.
64
00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:27,552
This really gorgeous
Limoges gravy boat.
65
00:04:27,726 --> 00:04:29,558
When all of a sudden--
Sweet 'N Low?
66
00:04:29,728 --> 00:04:31,844
—| realized...
67
00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:35,936
...l Was more turned on by
this gravy boat than by Barry.
68
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:39,147
Then | got really freaked out,
and that's when it hit me:
69
00:04:39,321 --> 00:04:42,109
How much Barry looks
like Mr. Potato Head.
70
00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:45,775
You know, | mean, | always knew
he looked familiar, but...
71
00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:51,288
Anyway, | just had to get out of there,
and | started wondering:
72
00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:55,125
"Why am | doing this?"
and "Who am | doing this for?"
73
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:59,664
Anyway, | just didn't know where to go,
and | know you and | have drifted apart...
74
00:04:59,883 --> 00:05:02,716
...But youre the only person
| know in the city.
75
00:05:02,928 --> 00:05:04,589
Who wasn't invited to the wedding.
76
00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:07,884
Oh, | was kind of hoping that
wouldn't be an issue.
77
00:05:15,190 --> 00:05:17,272
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH
ON TV]
78
00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:24,564
Im guessing he bought her
the big pipe organ...
79
00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:27,199
...and she's really not
happy about it.
80
00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:31,491
Daddy, | just-- | can't marry him.
81
00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:33,326
Im sorry.
82
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:36,367
| just don't love him.
83
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:39,499
Well, it matters to me.
84
00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:44,375
CHANDLER:
She should not be wearing those pants.
85
00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:47,552
| say push her down the stairs.
86
00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:50,973
ALL: Push her down the stairs!
Push her down the stairs!
87
00:05:51,393 --> 00:05:52,508
[ALL CHEER AND APPLAUD]
88
00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:57,221
Come on, Daddy, listen to me!
89
00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:01,980
It's like all of my life, everyone's
always told me, "You're a shoe!
90
00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:04,235
You're a shoe! You're a shoe!
You're a shoe!"
91
00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:07,610
Then today | stopped and said,
"What if | don't wanna be a shoe?
92
00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:10,989
What if | wanna be a purse?
You know?
93
00:06:11,162 --> 00:06:12,948
Or a hat?"
94
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:16,411
| don't want you to buy me a hat,
| ama hat.
95
00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:18,792
Its a metaphor, Daddy!
96
00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:22,379
You can see where he'd have trouble.
97
00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:27,501
Look, Daddy, it's my life.
98
00:06:28,847 --> 00:06:31,305
Well, maybe l'l just stay
here with Monica.
99
00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:36,803
| guess we've established
she's staying with Monica.
100
00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:41,687
Well, maybe that's my decision.
101
00:06:42,277 --> 00:06:44,518
Well, maybe | don'"t need your money.
102
00:06:44,696 --> 00:06:46,937
Wait! Wait! | said maybe!
103
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:56,121
Okay. Just breathe, that's it.
104
00:06:56,333 --> 00:06:58,791
Just try to think of nice, calm things.
105
00:06:59,002 --> 00:07:02,870
[SINGING] Raindrops on roses
And whiskers on kittens
106
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:07,215
Doorbells and sleigh bells
And something with mittens
107
00:07:07,969 --> 00:07:11,337
La la la something
With string
108
00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:13,380
I'm all better now.
109
00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:17,176
| helped.
110
00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:21,187
MONICA: Look, this is probably
for the best, you know?
111
00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:24,061
Independence. Taking control of your life.
112
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:28,612
And, hey, if you need anything,
you can always come to Joey.
113
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:32,195
Me and Chandier live right
across the hall. And he's away a lot.
114
00:07:34,079 --> 00:07:36,616
Joey, stop hitting on her.
It's her wedding day.
115
00:07:36,831 --> 00:07:38,788
What? Like there's a rule or something?
116
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:40,574
[INTERCOM BUZZES]
117
00:07:41,336 --> 00:07:44,874
Please don't do that again.
It's a horrible sound.
118
00:07:45,048 --> 00:07:47,460
PAUL: Uh, it's Paul.
-Buzz him in.
119
00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:50,046
-Who's Paul?
-Paul, the wine guy, Paul?
120
00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:51,296
Maybe.
121
00:07:51,513 --> 00:07:54,801
Wailt a minute. Your "not a real date"
is with Paul, the wine guy?
122
00:07:55,016 --> 00:07:56,802
-He finally asked you out?
-Yes.
123
00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:58,763
Ooh. This is a "Dear Diary" moment.
124
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:01,803
Rach, wait, | can cancel.
125
00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:03,851
Please, no. Go, II be fine.
126
00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:07,734
Ross, are you okay?
| mean, do you want me to stay?
127
00:08:08,613 --> 00:08:10,729
That'd be good.
128
00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:14,859
-Really?
-No, go on! It's Paul, the wine guy.
129
00:08:15,078 --> 00:08:16,193
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
130
00:08:18,707 --> 00:08:21,119
MONICA:
Hi, come in. Paul, this is...
131
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:24,539
...everybody. Everybody, this is Paul.
132
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,040
JOEY:
Paul, the wine guy.
133
00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:30,090
-Wine guy.
-| didn't catch your name. Paul, was it?
134
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:33,047
-Okay. Sit down. Two seconds.
-Okay.
135
00:08:33,596 --> 00:08:36,008
[MOUTHING]
136
00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:40,308
Ooh, | just pulled out four eyelashes.
That can't be good.
137
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,722
So, Rachel,
what are you up to tonight?
138
00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:49,109
Well, |l was supposed to be headed
for Aruba on my honeymoon...
139
00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:50,314
...SO, nothing.
140
00:08:52,741 --> 00:08:54,948
Right. You're not even
getting your honeymooan.
141
00:08:55,243 --> 00:08:59,202
God. No, no. Although, Aruba. Heh.
This time of year? Eh.
142
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:01,955
Talk about your...
143
00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:03,160
...big lizards.
144
00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:10,672
Anyway, if you don't feel
like being alone tonight...
145
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:13,717
...J0oey and Chandler are
helping me with my furniture.
146
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:17,050
Yes, and we're very excited about it.
147
00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:20,557
Actually, thanks, but I'm just gonna
hang out here tonight.
148
00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:22,764
-It's been a long day.
-Oh, sure. Okay. Sure.
149
00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:24,268
Hey, Pheebs, you wanna help?
150
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:26,646
Oh, | wish | could, but | don't want to.
151
00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:39,281
Im supposed to attach a bracket-y
thing to the side things...
152
00:09:39,454 --> 00:09:42,242
...uSing a bunch of these
little worm guys.
153
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:48,161
| have no bracket-y thing,
| see no worm guys whatsoever...
154
00:09:48,338 --> 00:09:51,421
...and | cannot feel my legs.
155
00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:54,044
What's this?
156
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:57,252
| have no idea.
157
00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:01,552
-Done with the bookcase.
-All finished.
158
00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:06,932
This was Carol's favorite beer.
159
00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:11,687
She always drank it out of the can.
| should have known.
160
00:10:11,861 --> 00:10:15,070
Hey. Ross, let me ask you a question.
161
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:19,450
She got the furniture,
the stereo, the goad TV.
162
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:20,654
What did you get?
163
00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:22,030
You guys.
164
00:10:22,205 --> 00:10:24,287
-Oh, God. Oh, my God.
-You got screwed.
165
00:10:24,499 --> 00:10:28,788
-Oh, my God.
-| know, | know. I'm such an idiot.
166
00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:33,877
| should've caught on when she went to
the dentist four and five times a week.
167
00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:36,257
| mean, how clean can teeth get?
168
00:10:36,427 --> 00:10:38,839
My brother's going through that.
He's such a mess.
169
00:10:39,013 --> 00:10:40,674
How did you get through it?
170
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:44,383
He might try accidentally breaking
something valuable of hers.
171
00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:46,143
-Say her--
-Leg?
172
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:48,223
Heh. That's one way of going through it,
yeah.
173
00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:50,309
Me, | went for the watch.
174
00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:52,641
-You actually broke her watch?
-Mm.
175
00:10:53,278 --> 00:10:56,361
Barry, I'm sorry. | am so sorry.
176
00:10:56,614 --> 00:11:01,529
You probably think it's about making
love with your socks on, butit isn't.
177
00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:04,536
Itisn't, it's about me. And --
178
00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:06,697
[SIGHS]
179
00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:14,626
Hi. Machine cut me off again.
Anyway...
180
00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:20,511
You know what's scary? What ¡f
there's only one woman for everybody?
181
00:11:20,722 --> 00:11:24,056
| mean, what if you get one
woman, and that's it?
182
00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:29,095
Unfortunately, in my case,
there was only one woman for her.
183
00:11:29,564 --> 00:11:32,807
What are you talking about?
One woman.
184
00:11:33,401 --> 00:11:37,019
That's like saying there's only
one flavor of ice cream for you.
185
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:40,940
Let me tell you something, Ross.
There's lots of flavors out there.
186
00:11:41,117 --> 00:11:45,577
There's rocky road and cookie dough
and bing cherry vanilla.
187
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:50,700
You can get them with jimmies
or nuts or whipped cream.
188
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:53,622
This is the best thing that
ever happened to you.
189
00:11:53,796 --> 00:11:56,663
You got married. You were like, what, 8?
190
00:11:58,635 --> 00:12:02,629
Welcome back to the world. Grab a spoon.
191
00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:05,342
| honestly don't know
If "m hungry or horny.
192
00:12:05,808 --> 00:12:07,173
Then stay out of my freezer.
193
00:12:10,939 --> 00:12:14,352
Ever since she walked out on me, |...
194
00:12:14,692 --> 00:12:16,649
What? What?
195
00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:18,651
You wanna spell it out with noodles?
196
00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:22,447
No, it's more of a fifth date
kind of revelation.
197
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:26,281
Oh, so there's gonna be a fifth date?
198
00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:29,491
Isn't there?
199
00:12:29,707 --> 00:12:31,869
Yeah, yeah. | think there is.
200
00:12:33,711 --> 00:12:35,418
What were you gonna say?
201
00:12:37,048 --> 00:12:39,164
Well... Er, uh--
202
00:12:40,343 --> 00:12:42,550
Ever since she left me, um...
203
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:46,968
...l haven't been able to perform...
204
00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:48,431
...sexually.
205
00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:52,802
Oh, God! Oh, God! | am so--
206
00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:54,228
-I'm so sorry.
-lt's okay.
207
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:57,853
Being spit on is probably
not what you need right now.
208
00:12:58,027 --> 00:12:59,734
Um...
209
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:01,194
How long?
210
00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:02,820
Two years.
211
00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:05,281
Wow!
212
00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:08,409
Im glad you smashed her watch.
213
00:13:10,373 --> 00:13:13,786
So you still think you might
want that fifth date?
214
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,332
Yeah.
215
00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:20,338
Yeah, | do.
216
00:13:21,551 --> 00:13:24,885
L, Joanie, take you, Charles,
as my lawful husband.
217
00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:28,464
MINISTER: Do you take Joanie--?
-Oh! See.
218
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:33,852
But Joanie loved Chachi.
That's the difference.
219
00:13:35,398 --> 00:13:36,763
"Grab a spoon."
220
00:13:37,108 --> 00:13:39,600
Do you know long it's been
since | grabbed a spoon?
221
00:13:40,111 --> 00:13:42,944
Do the words, "Billy, don't be
a hero," mean anything to you?
222
00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:49,693
You know, here's the thing.
Even if | could get it together enough...
223
00:13:49,871 --> 00:13:52,408
...t0o ask a woman out...
224
00:13:52,874 --> 00:13:55,286
...Who am | gonna ask?
225
00:14:16,606 --> 00:14:17,971
Isn't this amazing?
226
00:14:18,149 --> 00:14:20,481
| mean, | have never made coffee
before in my life.
227
00:14:20,651 --> 00:14:23,143
-That is amazing.
-Congratulations.
228
00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:28,073
While you're on a roll, if you feel like you
gotta make a Western omelet or something...
229
00:14:30,995 --> 00:14:34,454
Although, actually I'm really
not that hungry this morning.
230
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:36,706
-Good morning.
MONICA: Good morning.
231
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,492
-Morning.
JOEY: Morning.
232
00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:41,582
-Morning.
JOEY: Morning, Paul.
233
00:14:41,756 --> 00:14:44,965
-Hello, Paul.
-Hi. Paul, is it?
234
00:14:49,097 --> 00:14:51,839
MONICA:
| had a really great time last night.
235
00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:53,882
PAUL:
Thank you. Thank you so much.
236
00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:57,469
-We'll talk later, okay?
-Y eah.
237
00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:03,983
Thank you.
238
00:15:09,826 --> 00:15:12,614
That wasn't a real date.
239
00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:16,162
What the hell do you do
on a real date?
240
00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:20,500
-Shut up and put my table back.
JOEY: Okay.
241
00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:22,536
All right, kids, | gotta get to work.
242
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:28,250
If | don't input those numbers,
it doesn't make much of a difference.
243
00:15:31,305 --> 00:15:33,421
So, like, you guys all have jobs?
244
00:15:34,225 --> 00:15:35,886
Yeah, we all have jobs.
245
00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:38,719
See, that's how we buy stuff.
246
00:15:40,356 --> 00:15:41,642
Yeah, Im an actor.
247
00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:44,065
Wow. Would | have seen you in anything?
248
00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:46,609
Oh, | doubt it. Mostly regional work.
249
00:15:46,821 --> 00:15:50,405
Unless you happened to catch the
Wee One's production of Pinocchio.
250
00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:53,195
"Look, Geppeto. I'm a real live boy."
251
00:15:56,038 --> 00:15:57,745
| will not take this abuse.
252
00:15:57,999 --> 00:15:59,910
Youre right. I'm sorry.
253
00:16:00,334 --> 00:16:03,042
[SINGING] Once | was a wooden boy
A little wooden boy
254
00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:09,465
MONICA: So how are you doing today?
Did you sleep okay?
255
00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:13,011
Did you talk to Barry?
| can't stop smiling.
256
00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:17,674
| can see that. You look like you
slept with a hanger in your mouth.
257
00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:26,399
| know. He's just so--
258
00:16:26,569 --> 00:16:28,105
Remember you and Tony De Marco?
259
00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:32,315
-Oh, yeah.
-Well, it's like that. With feelings.
260
00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:34,862
Oh, wow, are you in trouble!
261
00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:39,325
Okay, okay. | am just going to get up,
go to work...
262
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:42,207
...and not think about him all day.
263
00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:45,334
Or else I'm just gonna
get up and go to work.
264
00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:47,121
-Oh, wish me luck!
-What for?
265
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:50,628
Im gonna go get one
of those job things.
266
00:16:58,601 --> 00:17:01,218
-Hey, Monica.
-Hey, Franny. Welcome back.
267
00:17:01,395 --> 00:17:02,885
How was Florida?
268
00:17:03,064 --> 00:17:04,395
You had sex, didn't you?
269
00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:07,310
How do you do that?
270
00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:12,233
-So, who?
-You know Paul?
271
00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:14,364
Paul, the wine guy?
272
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:16,116
Oh, yeah, | know Paul.
273
00:17:18,663 --> 00:17:21,155
You mean, you know Paul
like | know Paul?
274
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:23,661
Are you kidding? | take credit for Paul.
275
00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:27,953
Before me, there was no snap
in his turtle for two years.
276
00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:33,754
Of course it was a line.
277
00:17:34,178 --> 00:17:36,840
Why? Why would anybody
do something like that?
278
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:40,299
We-'re looking for an answer
more sophisticated than:
279
00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:42,387
"To get you into bed."
280
00:17:43,354 --> 00:17:45,015
Is it me?
281
00:17:45,189 --> 00:17:48,727
Is it like | have some sort of
beacon that only dogs...
282
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:51,518
...and men with severe emotional
problems can hear?
283
00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:53,648
All right, come here. Give me your feet.
284
00:18:01,163 --> 00:18:02,995
| just thought he was nice, you know?
285
00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:08,334
| can't believe you
didn't know it was a line.
286
00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:14,252
Guess what.
287
00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:16,213
-You got a job?
-Are you kidding?
288
00:18:16,387 --> 00:18:18,048
I'm trained for nothing.
289
00:18:19,890 --> 00:18:21,927
| was laughed out of 12 interviews today.
290
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,637
Yet youre surprisingly upbeat.
291
00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:27,346
Well, you would be too if you found
Joan and David boots on sale...
292
00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:29,264
...D0 percent off.
293
00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:31,269
Oh, how well you know me.
294
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:35,357
They're my new "I don't need
a job or my parents.
295
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:37,777
I've got great boots" boots.
296
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:41,367
-How'd you pay for them?
-Uh, credit card.
297
00:18:41,912 --> 00:18:43,573
And who pays for that?
298
00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:46,330
Um, my father.
299
00:18:48,919 --> 00:18:51,081
You can't live off your parents
your whole life.
300
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:54,961
| know that. That's why
| was getting married.
301
00:18:55,343 --> 00:18:58,335
Give her a break. It's hard being
on your own for the first time.
302
00:18:58,512 --> 00:19:00,002
-Thank you.
-Y ou're welcome.
303
00:19:00,181 --> 00:19:02,889
| remember when | first came
to this city, | was 14.
304
00:19:03,059 --> 00:19:05,926
My mom had killed herself
and my stepdad was back in prison.
305
00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:08,140
And | got here,
and | didn't know anybody.
306
00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:11,682
| ended up living with this albino
guy who was cleaning windshields...
307
00:19:11,859 --> 00:19:15,648
...Outside Port Authority.
And then he killed himself.
308
00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:20,239
And then | found aromatherapy.
So believe me, | know exactly how you feel.
309
00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:27,114
The word you're looking for is:
310
00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:28,948
“Anyway..."
311
00:19:33,130 --> 00:19:34,245
All right. You ready?
312
00:19:34,423 --> 00:19:36,130
-| don't think so.
ROSS: Oh, come on.
313
00:19:36,467 --> 00:19:37,878
Cut. Cut.
314
00:19:38,094 --> 00:19:41,052
ALL:
Cut, cut, cut.
315
00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:45,595
ROSS: Hey.
MONICA: All right.
316
00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:47,558
Welcome to the real world.
317
00:19:47,770 --> 00:19:50,512
It sucks. You're gonna love it.
318
00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:53,481
[FRANCIS SCOTT KEY'S "STAR-SPANGLED
BANNER" PLAYS ON TV]
319
00:19:57,446 --> 00:20:00,780
Well, that's ¡t.
You gonna crash on the couch?
320
00:20:00,991 --> 00:20:04,325
-No. No, | gotta go home sometime.
-Are you gonna be okay?
321
00:20:04,495 --> 00:20:05,985
Yeah.
322
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:08,905
Look what | just found on the floor.
323
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:12,450
What?
324
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,410
That's Paul's watch.
325
00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:16,670
You can just put it back
where you found it.
326
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:21,759
Oh, boy. All right.
Good night, everybody.
327
00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:22,964
ROSS 8 RACHEL:
Good night.
328
00:20:23,139 --> 00:20:25,050
[WATCH CRACKSJ
329
00:20:28,936 --> 00:20:30,347
[DOOR CLOSES]
330
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,141
-Hmm.
-Hmm.
331
00:20:34,275 --> 00:20:35,515
-Oh, sorry.
-No. Óh, no. Go.
332
00:20:35,693 --> 00:20:37,650
-No, have it, really.
-Split it?
333
00:20:37,820 --> 00:20:39,811
-Okay.
-Okay.
334
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:42,776
Thanks.
335
00:20:43,492 --> 00:20:47,076
You probably didn't know this,
but back in high school | had...
336
00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:49,078
...a Major crush on you.
337
00:20:50,541 --> 00:20:51,702
| knew.
338
00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:54,325
You did? Oh.
339
00:20:55,129 --> 00:20:58,121
| figured you thought | was
Monica's geeky older brother.
340
00:20:58,883 --> 00:21:00,874
-| did.
341
00:21:05,514 --> 00:21:07,346
Listen, do you think--
342
00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:11,009
And try not to let my vulnerability
become any kind of a factor here.
343
00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:16,973
Do you think it would be okay ¡f
| ask you out sometime, maybe?
344
00:21:18,235 --> 00:21:20,067
Yeah.
345
00:21:20,529 --> 00:21:21,815
Maybe.
346
00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:24,655
Okay.
347
00:21:29,413 --> 00:21:31,871
Okay, maybe | will.
348
00:21:34,210 --> 00:21:35,666
[RACHEL CHUCKLES]
349
00:21:35,836 --> 00:21:37,952
-Good night.
-Good night.
350
00:21:40,966 --> 00:21:42,957
[DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES]
351
00:21:48,432 --> 00:21:50,423
[DOOR OPENSJ
352
00:21:51,519 --> 00:21:53,226
See you.
353
00:21:53,729 --> 00:21:54,764
ROSS:
Mm-hm.
354
00:21:54,939 --> 00:21:57,351
Wait, wait. Hey, what's with you?
355
00:21:59,652 --> 00:22:02,314
| just grabbed a spoon.
356
00:22:10,496 --> 00:22:11,952
Can't believe what I'm hearing.
357
00:22:12,206 --> 00:22:13,867
[SINGING] / cant believe
What I'm hearing here
358
00:22:14,041 --> 00:22:16,248
-What? | said you had--
-What? | said you had--
359
00:22:17,294 --> 00:22:19,752
-Would you stop?
-Oh, was | doing it again?
360
00:22:19,964 --> 00:22:21,796
ALL:
Yes.
361
00:22:22,842 --> 00:22:24,833
WOMAN:
Would anybody like more coffee?
362
00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:29,178
Did you make it or are you just serving it?
363
00:22:29,348 --> 00:22:32,636
-I'm just serving it.
CHANDLER: l'l have a cup of coffee.
364
00:22:33,102 --> 00:22:34,342
Kids, new dream.
365
00:22:35,104 --> 00:22:38,438
Imin Las Vegas. I'm Liza Minnelli.
366
00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:46,187
[English - US - SDH]
27911
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