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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,213 --> 00:00:06,839 Season 13 Episode 5 "Fishsticks" 2 00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:37,111 Hey, Jimmy, what are you up to? 3 00:00:37,236 --> 00:00:41,093 Hey, Eric. I was just trying to write some new jokes for my comedy routine. 4 00:00:41,218 --> 00:00:43,639 You wanna do something? I wanted to hang out with Stan and Kyle, 5 00:00:43,764 --> 00:00:45,961 but they're pissed off at me, so I hang out with you. 6 00:00:46,370 --> 00:00:49,948 Sorry, but I really need to work. I haven't written a good joke in a week. 7 00:00:50,073 --> 00:00:52,708 Maybe I can help you. We can totally write some stuff together. 8 00:00:52,833 --> 00:00:56,837 Well, sure. I've never tried working with a partner, but let's give it a... 9 00:00:57,731 --> 00:00:58,936 shotsgarrooski. 10 00:00:59,061 --> 00:01:03,065 Let's see. I was working on this. Why does a squirrel swim on its back? 11 00:01:03,733 --> 00:01:05,283 To keep his nuts dry. 12 00:01:06,954 --> 00:01:09,273 That's not that funny. Let's try something else. 13 00:01:10,129 --> 00:01:13,131 A fireman and a Pollack are eating marshmallows when... 14 00:01:14,356 --> 00:01:16,638 Pollacks aren't that funny. Try something else. 15 00:01:20,721 --> 00:01:24,171 So the Pope says: "What are you, a stinking evolutionist?" 16 00:01:28,434 --> 00:01:31,652 Here's some fruit, boys. Better for you than potato chips. 17 00:01:32,291 --> 00:01:33,916 Look out. There's a black widow! 18 00:01:35,925 --> 00:01:38,021 Thanks, mom! You might have saved my life! 19 00:01:38,944 --> 00:01:41,318 If I'm trying to be creative, I can't eat fruit. 20 00:01:41,443 --> 00:01:43,377 Doesn't your mom have something more substantial? 21 00:01:43,502 --> 00:01:46,461 You can check the freezer. There might be some frozen fishsticks or something. 22 00:01:46,586 --> 00:01:47,923 If you like fishsticks. 23 00:01:49,029 --> 00:01:50,838 - I like fishsticks. - Wait a minute. 24 00:01:50,963 --> 00:01:53,404 Fishsticks. Fishsticks... 25 00:01:53,824 --> 00:01:56,432 Oh, my God! It's so obvious! How did I never think of it before? 26 00:01:56,557 --> 00:01:59,098 - What? You got something? - Just run with me on this. 27 00:01:59,699 --> 00:02:01,461 Say, Eric, do you like fishsticks? 28 00:02:02,620 --> 00:02:04,637 You like putting fishsticks in your mouth? 29 00:02:05,741 --> 00:02:07,791 Well, what are you, a gay fish? 30 00:02:09,346 --> 00:02:11,714 Fish dicks! Dude, that's funny as shit! 31 00:02:12,277 --> 00:02:15,202 We're really onto something here. Let's try it out on the guys. 32 00:02:21,844 --> 00:02:24,656 - There's Clyde. Do it to Clyde. - Let's do it to Clyde. 33 00:02:26,082 --> 00:02:28,294 Check it out. Hey there, Clyde. 34 00:02:28,544 --> 00:02:30,020 - Hey. - What's going on? 35 00:02:30,145 --> 00:02:32,318 Eric and Jimmy came up with the funniest joke ever! 36 00:02:32,689 --> 00:02:35,254 Say, Clyde, do you like fishsticks? 37 00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:39,049 You like to put fishsticks in your mouth? 38 00:02:40,456 --> 00:02:42,556 What are you, Clyde, a gay fish? 39 00:02:42,855 --> 00:02:46,457 You said you like fish dicks in your mouth, that makes you a gay fish! 40 00:02:49,843 --> 00:02:51,480 Token, got a question for you. 41 00:02:52,223 --> 00:02:55,973 - Token, do you like fishsticks? - Fishsticks? Yeah, I guess so. 42 00:02:58,041 --> 00:03:00,428 You like putting fishsticks in your mouth? 43 00:03:01,333 --> 00:03:03,083 What are you, a gay fish? 44 00:03:04,900 --> 00:03:08,119 Look, there's Kevin Stoley! Kevin, do you like fishsticks? 45 00:03:10,384 --> 00:03:13,025 Hey, Mackey. Do you like fishsticks? 46 00:03:13,509 --> 00:03:15,444 Fishsticks? Yeah, I like fishsticks, m'kay. 47 00:03:15,910 --> 00:03:19,739 - Peterson. Buying fishsticks, I see. - Yeah, I like fishsticks. 48 00:03:19,864 --> 00:03:21,367 What are you, a gay fish? 49 00:03:23,543 --> 00:03:25,788 And now here he is, Jimmy Kimmel! 50 00:03:27,437 --> 00:03:29,270 All right, how we all feeling tonight? 51 00:03:29,395 --> 00:03:32,426 So let me ask the guys in the audience a question. 52 00:03:32,551 --> 00:03:34,088 Do you like fishsticks? 53 00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:37,967 What are you, gay fish? 54 00:03:42,879 --> 00:03:45,432 And so, Paul, do you like fishsticks, Paul? 55 00:03:46,546 --> 00:03:48,519 - Sure. - What are you, a gay fish? 56 00:03:54,970 --> 00:03:58,195 More and more Americans are eating fishsticks. You read about this? 57 00:03:58,779 --> 00:04:01,297 Loving fishsticks. Kind of makes me wonder, you know? 58 00:04:01,422 --> 00:04:02,658 Is everybody a gay fish? 59 00:04:10,420 --> 00:04:13,709 It is quite possibly the funniest joke ever conceived, 60 00:04:13,834 --> 00:04:15,549 and its origin is unknown. 61 00:04:15,674 --> 00:04:19,398 The fishsticks joke crosses all borders, all races, all ages and ethnic groups 62 00:04:19,523 --> 00:04:21,686 and is slowly uniting our country. 63 00:04:21,811 --> 00:04:25,161 In fact, the only person who appears to not get the joke 64 00:04:25,436 --> 00:04:29,435 is rapper Kanye West, who becomes furious when the joke is used on him. 65 00:04:30,046 --> 00:04:31,462 That is messed up! 66 00:04:31,712 --> 00:04:34,773 I am not gay, and I sure as hell ain't no fish, all right? 67 00:04:35,462 --> 00:04:37,318 You really don't get it? 68 00:04:37,732 --> 00:04:41,516 I'm a genius, all right? I'm the most talented musician in the world. 69 00:04:41,641 --> 00:04:44,366 If I was a homosexual or a fish, I would know. 70 00:04:44,701 --> 00:04:45,701 You're a rapper. 71 00:04:46,876 --> 00:04:48,176 An entrepreneur. 72 00:04:49,227 --> 00:04:50,673 And you like fishsticks. 73 00:04:51,406 --> 00:04:54,544 - You're a gay fish. - No, I'm not no gay fish. 74 00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:55,794 Just gay? 75 00:04:56,251 --> 00:04:59,006 I'm not gay and I'm not a fish. Man! 76 00:04:59,679 --> 00:05:01,926 - You are male. - Damn right, I'm male. 77 00:05:02,413 --> 00:05:06,388 - A male that likes fish dicks. - Yeah, I like fishsticks. 78 00:05:06,946 --> 00:05:10,225 You like to put fish dicks in your mouth. 79 00:05:11,711 --> 00:05:12,811 You're a gay fish. 80 00:05:13,420 --> 00:05:16,036 All right, that does it. I'm gonna kick your motherfucking ass! 81 00:05:18,660 --> 00:05:21,507 And then, it was on Leno and Jimmy Kimmel show! 82 00:05:21,632 --> 00:05:23,697 That's our joke on national television! 83 00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:25,491 We know, Cartman! 84 00:05:27,237 --> 00:05:29,887 We are comedy writers and you guys aren't. 85 00:05:32,679 --> 00:05:35,703 Jimmy, I've been thinking. We've got to patent the fishsticks joke. 86 00:05:35,828 --> 00:05:37,146 - Patent? - Yeah, dude. 87 00:05:37,271 --> 00:05:39,604 There's lots of people out there using our joke on their shows. 88 00:05:39,729 --> 00:05:42,106 - We should be getting compensated. - Well, Eric, 89 00:05:42,231 --> 00:05:44,838 that's really not how jokes work. I mean, you know. 90 00:05:44,963 --> 00:05:48,061 We should be happy that the joke is so popular and made people laugh. 91 00:05:48,539 --> 00:05:49,552 Fuck that! 92 00:05:49,802 --> 00:05:52,434 Maybe you were writing for people's amusement, but I don't work for free. 93 00:05:52,758 --> 00:05:55,195 I'm gonna talk to a lawyer so we get what's coming to us. 94 00:06:00,305 --> 00:06:03,084 What part of the fishsticks joke did Cartman write? 95 00:06:04,656 --> 00:06:07,780 Well, he didn't actually write any of it. 96 00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:09,451 He just... 97 00:06:09,958 --> 00:06:10,982 Let me guess. 98 00:06:11,107 --> 00:06:13,998 You wrote the joke and Cartman just laid on the couch eating Twizzlers. 99 00:06:14,711 --> 00:06:16,083 Actually, it was potato chips. 100 00:06:16,690 --> 00:06:20,379 I knew it! Don't let that fat turd walk all over you. Stand up for yourself! 101 00:06:20,989 --> 00:06:23,376 Well, I mean, he was in the room. 102 00:06:23,811 --> 00:06:26,635 - Then just give him half. - What? 103 00:06:27,454 --> 00:06:29,967 I like you, Jimmy. But you're not gonna win this. 104 00:06:30,092 --> 00:06:32,433 Consider yourself lucky he's only asking for half. 105 00:06:33,494 --> 00:06:36,562 If Cartman didn't do anything, he doesn't deserve any of the credit. 106 00:06:37,900 --> 00:06:39,736 And if I had wheels, I'd be a wagon. 107 00:06:41,155 --> 00:06:42,458 No, dude, screw that! 108 00:06:42,583 --> 00:06:46,143 If he didn't write the joke then don't sign any patent papers with him! 109 00:06:46,268 --> 00:06:49,324 Say: "Cartman, you didn't have anything to do with this joke and you know it!" 110 00:06:50,792 --> 00:06:52,249 Just give him half. 111 00:06:53,997 --> 00:06:56,869 There are a lot of people out there making up rumors about me 112 00:06:56,994 --> 00:06:58,774 that are malicious and untrue. 113 00:06:58,899 --> 00:07:02,299 But I am going to prove once and for all I am not a fish. 114 00:07:03,049 --> 00:07:05,615 Because I am a genius, I have ascertained 115 00:07:05,740 --> 00:07:07,634 that fish have gills. 116 00:07:09,099 --> 00:07:11,847 Doctor, do I have gills? 117 00:07:14,112 --> 00:07:15,976 He does not have gills. 118 00:07:17,197 --> 00:07:18,897 You hear that? No gills. 119 00:07:19,165 --> 00:07:20,715 So I can't be a fish. 120 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:23,680 And I'm a genius voice of a generation, so I'm not gay. 121 00:07:23,805 --> 00:07:26,346 So that is that. All right, it's over. 122 00:07:26,884 --> 00:07:28,322 Now, are there any questions? 123 00:07:29,901 --> 00:07:32,618 - Do you like fishsticks? - Love 'em. 124 00:07:33,621 --> 00:07:34,880 You're a gay fish. 125 00:07:37,662 --> 00:07:38,762 No, I'm not! 126 00:07:41,666 --> 00:07:43,342 All right. Recently... 127 00:07:43,467 --> 00:07:45,683 Recently, we've all come to know the fishsticks joke 128 00:07:45,808 --> 00:07:48,348 as probable the funniest, most awesome joke ever. 129 00:07:48,758 --> 00:07:50,602 But who originally came up with it? 130 00:07:50,727 --> 00:07:54,731 Here's your answer. Joining us tonight, the brains behind the fishsticks joke, 131 00:07:55,035 --> 00:07:56,558 the one and only Carlos Mencia. 132 00:08:01,039 --> 00:08:03,438 So, you've got a show on Comedy Central, a stand-up tour. 133 00:08:03,563 --> 00:08:06,063 Where did you have time to come up with this classic joke? 134 00:08:06,188 --> 00:08:09,114 Well, you know, I was just kicking it with my homies and my brain. 135 00:08:09,239 --> 00:08:11,706 My brain is always so full of ideas, 'cause I'm so funny and stuff. 136 00:08:11,831 --> 00:08:14,724 So I was all like: "Hey, pepito, you like fishsticks?" 137 00:08:14,849 --> 00:08:17,482 And my homeboy says: "Carlos, you know, you're so funny." 138 00:08:17,607 --> 00:08:20,415 And then it occurred to me: "Man, you must be a gay fish, homes!" 139 00:08:23,168 --> 00:08:25,368 That's just how I came up with it! 140 00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:31,218 Motherfucker! 141 00:08:31,687 --> 00:08:33,051 Jimmy, did you see? 142 00:08:33,176 --> 00:08:35,349 Carlos Mencia is taking credit for our joke! 143 00:08:35,474 --> 00:08:37,876 - Really? - I told you this would happen. 144 00:08:38,001 --> 00:08:39,920 I got a lawyer to draw up some patent papers. 145 00:08:40,045 --> 00:08:43,291 Let's sign these so that people know that the joke belongs to you and me. 146 00:08:44,905 --> 00:08:47,776 I don't know. I really don't think I want to sign that, very much. 147 00:08:48,249 --> 00:08:51,899 But some fat turd is taking credit for something he didn't do! 148 00:08:53,431 --> 00:08:55,943 Well, to be perfectly frank, Eric. 149 00:08:56,494 --> 00:08:59,481 I think I came up with a little bit more of the joke than you did. 150 00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:02,634 - What? - You know, I mean... 151 00:09:02,759 --> 00:09:06,459 I basically wrote the thing, and you just kind of... ate chips. 152 00:09:07,129 --> 00:09:08,540 Jimmy, that's messed up. 153 00:09:08,665 --> 00:09:11,138 We decided that day to write together. Don't you remember? 154 00:09:13,307 --> 00:09:16,217 - Jimmy, you wanna hang out? - Sorry, but I gotta write some jokes. 155 00:09:16,342 --> 00:09:17,661 Unless you wanna team up. 156 00:09:17,786 --> 00:09:19,909 Team up? OK. Let's write some jokes together. 157 00:09:20,034 --> 00:09:22,766 Here's some fishsticks, guys. Hope you like fishsticks. 158 00:09:22,891 --> 00:09:26,149 Do we like fishsticks? What does she think we are, gay fish? 159 00:09:29,885 --> 00:09:31,581 Look out, Jimmy, it's a black widow! 160 00:09:33,050 --> 00:09:34,200 Thanks, Eric. 161 00:09:35,999 --> 00:09:37,901 Is that... how it happened? 162 00:09:38,277 --> 00:09:42,055 Exactly who came up with which part of the joke isn't even relevant. 163 00:09:42,180 --> 00:09:43,699 We had an agreement. 164 00:09:43,824 --> 00:09:47,724 If you wanna go back on that now, then you're no better than a Jew. 165 00:09:48,926 --> 00:09:50,745 I'm... I'm sorry? 166 00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:53,241 It's cool, man. It's cool. 167 00:09:59,090 --> 00:10:03,062 Here he is, y'all. Give it up for Kanye West! 168 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:07,940 What the hell? 169 00:10:09,259 --> 00:10:10,984 Gay fish! Gay fish! 170 00:10:11,532 --> 00:10:12,832 Fuck this noise! 171 00:10:17,420 --> 00:10:19,532 It just doesn't make any sense! 172 00:10:19,657 --> 00:10:22,057 Why is everyone calling me a gay fish? 173 00:10:22,335 --> 00:10:25,332 Kanye, we all think it would be better if you would just drop it. 174 00:10:25,816 --> 00:10:27,960 If you don't get it, you don't get it. 175 00:10:28,300 --> 00:10:31,029 What you mean I don't get it, House? I'm a genius. 176 00:10:31,154 --> 00:10:33,942 I'll understand it. I just need to break it down is all. 177 00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:36,677 Now let's see. Something about fishsticks, 178 00:10:37,515 --> 00:10:39,015 interacting with me, 179 00:10:39,589 --> 00:10:40,989 makes me gay fish. 180 00:10:42,109 --> 00:10:44,111 - Kanye, really... - Shut up! 181 00:10:44,678 --> 00:10:46,478 What do we know about fishsticks? 182 00:10:47,282 --> 00:10:48,582 They're breaded. 183 00:10:49,260 --> 00:10:52,106 They're fried. They're frozen. 184 00:10:52,766 --> 00:10:55,429 Then under me, we have rapper. 185 00:10:56,180 --> 00:10:57,718 Genius. 186 00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:01,551 And gay fish are homosexual. 187 00:11:02,514 --> 00:11:03,996 They swim. 188 00:11:05,234 --> 00:11:08,143 Is it because breaded has something to do with... 189 00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:10,544 genius, which swims? 190 00:11:10,963 --> 00:11:14,435 No, because you said you like fish dicks. Don't you get it? 191 00:11:14,560 --> 00:11:16,675 You see, fish dicks is a play on words. 192 00:11:17,057 --> 00:11:18,902 I don't need anybody telling me play on words. 193 00:11:19,027 --> 00:11:22,254 I'm a motherfucking lyrical wordsmith, motherfucking genius! 194 00:11:25,093 --> 00:11:27,017 Hey, Kyle, can I talk to you for a second? 195 00:11:27,142 --> 00:11:28,741 Get outta here. I'm peeing! 196 00:11:29,508 --> 00:11:32,185 It's just... I don't know what to do about Jimmy. 197 00:11:32,310 --> 00:11:35,930 I think he might try and Jew me out of my half of the fishsticks joke. 198 00:11:37,609 --> 00:11:40,304 I just need you to teach me some Jew defensive moves. 199 00:11:40,429 --> 00:11:42,562 Because we really did both come up with it. 200 00:11:44,706 --> 00:11:46,706 You know what? I believe you. 201 00:11:47,167 --> 00:11:48,167 You do? 202 00:11:48,692 --> 00:11:51,300 I believe that you believe you helped write that joke. 203 00:11:51,425 --> 00:11:54,071 That's how people like you work. Your ego is so out of whack 204 00:11:54,196 --> 00:11:56,272 that it will do whatever it can to protect itself. 205 00:11:56,397 --> 00:11:59,474 And people with messed up ego can do these mental gymnastics 206 00:11:59,599 --> 00:12:01,290 to convince themselves they're awesome 207 00:12:01,415 --> 00:12:03,358 when really, they're just douche bags. 208 00:12:07,392 --> 00:12:10,908 But I'm sure I helped come up with the joke. Didn't I? 209 00:12:13,414 --> 00:12:16,801 - Jimmy, what's up, dawg? - Hey, Eric! Just working on some jokes. 210 00:12:16,926 --> 00:12:18,392 You wanna write some together? 211 00:12:18,517 --> 00:12:20,599 That'd be great! I've always wanted to work with you. 212 00:12:20,724 --> 00:12:22,867 You're really funny and you're totally not fat. 213 00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:25,996 Cool, thanks. Let's get to work. Now, let's see. 214 00:12:26,121 --> 00:12:28,091 Something that's a play on words. I don't know. 215 00:12:28,216 --> 00:12:31,955 - Fishsticks. You know, 'cause of dicks. - You're really onto something there! 216 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:35,268 Hello, Eric, have some chips, because you're totally not fat at all. 217 00:12:35,393 --> 00:12:38,859 Thank you, Mrs. Valmer. Let's see. The set-up could be... 218 00:12:38,984 --> 00:12:42,081 - "Do you like fishsticks?" - Right. And then I say: "Yeah." 219 00:12:42,206 --> 00:12:44,992 So then I can say: "What are you, a gay fish?" 220 00:12:45,553 --> 00:12:46,907 This is incredible! 221 00:12:48,088 --> 00:12:50,086 - What is that? - It's a dragon of some kind. 222 00:12:50,211 --> 00:12:52,311 Don't worry, I can save you all! 223 00:12:57,629 --> 00:12:59,824 Hey, look, Eric killed a dragon! 224 00:12:59,949 --> 00:13:01,862 He's the most awesome kid in school! 225 00:13:01,987 --> 00:13:04,549 - And he's not fat at all! - Thanks, you guys! 226 00:13:06,185 --> 00:13:09,121 Nope. I definitely helped write the joke. 227 00:13:10,020 --> 00:13:12,499 All I can hope is Jimmy doesn't try and Jew me over. 228 00:13:14,208 --> 00:13:16,566 Is it perhaps that I'm fashionable, 229 00:13:16,845 --> 00:13:18,528 and fishsticks are crunchy? 230 00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:23,760 - We found him, money! - Found who? 231 00:13:24,209 --> 00:13:27,270 You told us to track down whoever started the whole fishstick thang. 232 00:13:27,395 --> 00:13:29,045 We found out who, dawg. 233 00:13:30,715 --> 00:13:33,015 C'mon, man! What is this, man? 234 00:13:33,140 --> 00:13:35,439 What the fuck is going on, man? 235 00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:38,108 Fuck, man. Kanye West! 236 00:13:38,900 --> 00:13:41,499 Oh shit, man. OK, look it wasn't me. 237 00:13:41,624 --> 00:13:43,822 I didn't really start the fishstick thing, all right? 238 00:13:44,343 --> 00:13:46,324 You just saying that now 'cause you're scared! 239 00:13:46,864 --> 00:13:49,563 No, man, it's true! I stole it, man! 240 00:13:49,688 --> 00:13:52,247 I took credit for it, 'cause I'm not actually funny. 241 00:13:52,415 --> 00:13:54,950 C'mon, man. Do you know what it's like? 242 00:13:55,075 --> 00:13:57,377 Being a comedian, but not being funny? 243 00:13:58,016 --> 00:13:59,867 Come on, Kanye, I just take jokes 244 00:13:59,992 --> 00:14:02,883 and repackage them with a Mexican accent, man! 245 00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:06,018 You think you can make fun of me? I'm a genius! 246 00:14:06,143 --> 00:14:08,346 I'm the voice of a generation! What are you? 247 00:14:08,787 --> 00:14:11,367 Nothing! Look at me, man. 248 00:14:11,657 --> 00:14:13,730 I'm not funny, I steal jokes, 249 00:14:13,855 --> 00:14:15,681 my dick don't work, man. 250 00:14:15,806 --> 00:14:19,149 I got to piss in a plastic bag, man. I got no dick! 251 00:14:19,689 --> 00:14:23,028 I ain't not gonna hurt you. I pay people to do that for me. 252 00:14:23,911 --> 00:14:27,463 Oh shit, oh, no, man. Come on, I got no dick, man. 253 00:14:34,824 --> 00:14:36,929 Now, explain it to me. 254 00:14:37,311 --> 00:14:40,040 Why do people think I'm a gay fish? 255 00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:44,394 'cause... you like fishsticks, man. 256 00:14:44,519 --> 00:14:47,429 C'mon, man. Don't you get it? Please! 257 00:14:47,782 --> 00:14:49,133 Just get it, man! 258 00:14:49,641 --> 00:14:51,666 Why? Look at me. Look at me! 259 00:14:52,004 --> 00:14:53,406 I love fishsticks. 260 00:14:53,531 --> 00:14:55,981 I love putting fishsticks in my mouth. 261 00:14:59,192 --> 00:15:01,900 You're... You're a gay fish, man! 262 00:15:05,865 --> 00:15:07,197 Thank you very much! 263 00:15:08,254 --> 00:15:12,118 About a week ago, our country was blessed with the fishsticks joke. 264 00:15:12,243 --> 00:15:13,684 And ever since then us comedians 265 00:15:13,809 --> 00:15:15,997 have been kicking ourselves for not thinking of it. 266 00:15:18,088 --> 00:15:22,038 But today, we have with us the true creators of the fishsticks joke. 267 00:15:22,291 --> 00:15:24,548 Please welcome the comedy team of Cartman and Valmer! 268 00:15:29,176 --> 00:15:30,176 Hey, guys! 269 00:15:30,598 --> 00:15:32,889 Hi, Ellen. You guys like fishsticks? 270 00:15:34,889 --> 00:15:37,362 Thank you. No, really. Thank you. 271 00:15:38,197 --> 00:15:39,546 So, guys, I gotta ask. 272 00:15:39,671 --> 00:15:42,732 - How did you come up with this joke? - It was just... 273 00:15:43,195 --> 00:15:45,631 Comedy is like a game of racquetball, you know? 274 00:15:45,756 --> 00:15:47,462 You serve, the other person hits it back. 275 00:15:47,587 --> 00:15:49,358 It bounces off the wall, you back-hand it. 276 00:15:49,483 --> 00:15:51,638 It goes back and forth, back and forth. Then hopefully, 277 00:15:51,763 --> 00:15:53,618 you've got a good joke. Thank you. 278 00:15:54,373 --> 00:15:57,793 But, guys, this joke is so perfect. 279 00:15:58,043 --> 00:15:59,749 How could nobody think of it before? 280 00:16:00,238 --> 00:16:02,404 Well, Ellen, the tru... 281 00:16:02,654 --> 00:16:05,888 Truth of the matter is that there's never really been a team like us before. 282 00:16:06,013 --> 00:16:09,342 Let's be honest. Many people wouldn't work with someone who's disabled. 283 00:16:09,703 --> 00:16:13,666 But I see past that. I look beyond Jimmy's disabilities and find a bond. 284 00:16:13,791 --> 00:16:15,631 Which can unite us in comedy. 285 00:16:15,756 --> 00:16:17,767 Working with crippled people is really important. 286 00:16:20,211 --> 00:16:21,574 That's so great. 287 00:16:21,699 --> 00:16:24,392 - And are you crying, Jimmy? - Yes, ma'am. 288 00:16:24,642 --> 00:16:26,616 Don't cry, pal. You're gonna get me started. 289 00:16:26,741 --> 00:16:29,484 Anyway, what was important for us, as a team, 290 00:16:29,609 --> 00:16:32,426 was to make sure everyone knew that we came up with the joke, 291 00:16:32,551 --> 00:16:34,242 and not Carlos butthole Mencia. 292 00:16:35,125 --> 00:16:36,580 I see. And did you know 293 00:16:36,705 --> 00:16:39,160 that Carlos Mencia was found dead in his house this morning 294 00:16:39,285 --> 00:16:41,684 with fishsticks stuffed down his open neck hole? 295 00:16:43,660 --> 00:16:44,660 Excuse me? 296 00:16:47,003 --> 00:16:48,272 Get my jet ready. 297 00:16:48,397 --> 00:16:50,258 Looks like we got another inning to play. 298 00:16:56,017 --> 00:16:57,891 Check it out. We have offers from Van de Kamp's 299 00:16:58,059 --> 00:17:00,118 and Gorton's Fishermen to do commercials. 300 00:17:00,565 --> 00:17:03,033 It's always been my dream to go on a national TV show 301 00:17:03,158 --> 00:17:05,187 and talk about the craft of comedy. 302 00:17:05,610 --> 00:17:07,212 Yeah, that was cool, huh? 303 00:17:08,068 --> 00:17:11,033 Eric, there's something I really need to know. 304 00:17:11,158 --> 00:17:14,058 - What's that? - How do you live with yourself? 305 00:17:14,321 --> 00:17:16,973 You know you had nothing to do with the fishsticks joke, 306 00:17:17,655 --> 00:17:19,006 but you just keep pretending. 307 00:17:19,131 --> 00:17:21,706 How do you look at yourself in the... fucking mirror? 308 00:17:21,976 --> 00:17:23,249 That's what I want to know! 309 00:17:25,535 --> 00:17:27,212 So. Here it is. 310 00:17:27,643 --> 00:17:29,840 How do you take credit for something you didn't do? 311 00:17:29,965 --> 00:17:31,808 That is bullcrap, and you know it! 312 00:17:31,933 --> 00:17:34,427 I had just as much to do with the fishsticks joke as you did! 313 00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:40,725 - Dude, it's Puff Daddy! - Tie up these motherfuckers! 314 00:17:42,953 --> 00:17:45,434 I'm gonna ask you motherfuckers one more time. 315 00:17:45,559 --> 00:17:47,982 Why did you start these rumors about me? 316 00:17:48,713 --> 00:17:50,642 Please! I wasn't starting rumors about you. 317 00:17:50,767 --> 00:17:51,945 I don't even know you! 318 00:17:52,457 --> 00:17:55,740 Right. Everyone knows who I am! I wanna know how this got started! 319 00:17:56,299 --> 00:17:58,448 We were just talking about ideas for jokes and... 320 00:17:58,573 --> 00:18:02,287 So now it's we? A minute ago, you said you did it all yourself! 321 00:18:02,412 --> 00:18:03,912 Well, I just... I... 322 00:18:04,994 --> 00:18:08,088 We both came up with it together. You wanna know how it happened? 323 00:18:09,728 --> 00:18:12,635 - Hello, Jim. - Oh, boy, it's my best pal, Eric! 324 00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:14,667 - What you up to? - I'm trying to write jokes, 325 00:18:14,792 --> 00:18:16,595 but I'm not as funny as you, so it's tough. 326 00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:18,432 Maybe I can help you. We can team up! 327 00:18:18,557 --> 00:18:21,038 Really? You'd help me, even though I'm crippled? 328 00:18:21,163 --> 00:18:22,554 You are caring and not fat. 329 00:18:22,679 --> 00:18:25,909 Let's see. How about a joke that has something to do with fishsticks. 330 00:18:26,034 --> 00:18:28,702 You know, 'cause fishsticks sounds like fish dicks. 331 00:18:28,827 --> 00:18:31,719 Eric Cartman, you are handsome and not even remotely fat. 332 00:18:31,844 --> 00:18:33,981 Thanks. So what I'm thinking is... 333 00:18:34,106 --> 00:18:36,017 Do you like fishsticks in your mouth? 334 00:18:36,818 --> 00:18:38,018 What was that? 335 00:18:38,287 --> 00:18:40,316 Eric, you have to save us! 336 00:18:40,607 --> 00:18:42,537 An entire army of Jew robots! 337 00:18:48,652 --> 00:18:50,526 Oh, my God! What are Jew bots doing here? 338 00:18:50,651 --> 00:18:51,651 Flame on! 339 00:18:58,016 --> 00:18:59,016 Flame off! 340 00:18:59,612 --> 00:19:01,865 You saved everyone from the Jew bots! 341 00:19:01,990 --> 00:19:03,850 C'mon, Jimmy, we gotta finish that joke! 342 00:19:05,360 --> 00:19:09,291 ... like fishsticks in your mouth? What are you, a gay fish? There! 343 00:19:09,416 --> 00:19:10,804 Eric! Incredible! 344 00:19:11,137 --> 00:19:14,704 Too bad I'm a dick and I'm gonna take all the credit. Suck it, bitch. 345 00:19:15,994 --> 00:19:18,872 Dammit. I guess it really was all me who came up with it. 346 00:19:18,997 --> 00:19:21,034 - What? - Let Jimmy go. It's all my fault. 347 00:19:21,755 --> 00:19:23,328 Jesus. He's gonna kill you! 348 00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:26,297 You won't even admit it was just me knowing you're gonna die? 349 00:19:27,193 --> 00:19:29,957 You really believe that you came up with it all on your own? 350 00:19:30,428 --> 00:19:32,928 Oh, my God. Wait. I totally get it now. 351 00:19:33,346 --> 00:19:34,923 What? I still don't get anything! 352 00:19:35,461 --> 00:19:37,106 All this time I've been mad at you, 353 00:19:37,231 --> 00:19:39,000 for trying to take all the credit, but... 354 00:19:39,125 --> 00:19:42,857 I realize that your ego has made you believe things happened differently. 355 00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:45,795 That's what Kyle was trying to tell me, that you have such a huge ego 356 00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:49,118 you do these mental gymnastics to make yourself a part of things. 357 00:19:49,533 --> 00:19:50,863 Really? 358 00:19:51,269 --> 00:19:53,994 I thought you were trying to Jew me out of my part of the credit, 359 00:19:54,119 --> 00:19:57,529 but now I realize that some people just have egos that are so out of whack 360 00:19:57,973 --> 00:19:59,818 that no matter what people tell them 361 00:19:59,943 --> 00:20:01,908 they can't accept the truth of who they are. 362 00:20:02,441 --> 00:20:04,054 Jimmy, I owe you an apology. 363 00:20:04,463 --> 00:20:07,608 I realize now you can't help believing you created the entire joke, 364 00:20:07,733 --> 00:20:10,186 because your ego won't let you think otherwise. 365 00:20:10,311 --> 00:20:11,709 I just have to accept that. 366 00:20:12,898 --> 00:20:15,230 Thanks, Eric. For being so understanding. 367 00:20:15,355 --> 00:20:16,480 He's right. 368 00:20:16,605 --> 00:20:19,600 For so long I've considered myself God's gift to the world, that I... 369 00:20:19,725 --> 00:20:21,833 couldn't take it when people made fun of me. 370 00:20:21,958 --> 00:20:23,720 But they weren't making fun of me. 371 00:20:24,110 --> 00:20:25,473 They were trying to help me. 372 00:20:26,553 --> 00:20:27,934 I understand what you did. 373 00:20:28,924 --> 00:20:31,624 Untie them, guys. I know what I have to do. 374 00:20:35,134 --> 00:20:36,536 You sure about this? 375 00:20:36,661 --> 00:20:39,988 It's time for me to stop running. I need to believe what people tell me. 376 00:20:41,344 --> 00:20:42,951 Let all my fans know I love 'em, 377 00:20:43,076 --> 00:20:45,618 but a gay fish just can't live in the outside world forever. 378 00:20:46,899 --> 00:20:49,549 Don't be sad for me, guys. I'm going home! 379 00:20:55,304 --> 00:20:58,111 I've been so lonely, girl, I've been so sad and down 380 00:20:58,236 --> 00:21:00,763 Couldn't understand why haters joked around 381 00:21:00,888 --> 00:21:03,558 I wanted to be free with other creatures like me 382 00:21:03,683 --> 00:21:05,276 And now I got my wish 383 00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:08,397 'cause I know that I'm a gay fish 384 00:21:09,478 --> 00:21:11,721 Motherfuckin' gay fish 385 00:21:12,414 --> 00:21:14,527 Girl, I am a gay fish 386 00:21:15,545 --> 00:21:17,584 Makin' love to other gay fish 387 00:21:17,709 --> 00:21:20,320 All those lonely nights at the grocery store 388 00:21:20,445 --> 00:21:23,114 In the frozen fish aisle feeling like a whore 389 00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:25,841 'cause I wasn't being true even though everyone said 390 00:21:25,966 --> 00:21:27,285 That I had to make a switch 391 00:21:27,936 --> 00:21:30,610 Now I know that I'm a gay fish 392 00:21:31,672 --> 00:21:33,833 Motherfuckin' gay fish 393 00:21:34,601 --> 00:21:36,502 Girl, I am a gay fish 394 00:21:36,670 --> 00:21:38,616 SouthParkNews.net 30660

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