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1
00:00:27,127 --> 00:00:30,462
DROP IT.
2
00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:37,613
OVER BUDGET OR NO OVER
BUDGET, I CAN'T AFFORD
3
00:00:37,637 --> 00:00:40,450
TO LAY OFF FIVE AGENTS.
THERE MUST BE SOME MISTAKE.
4
00:00:40,474 --> 00:00:42,785
SORRY, CHIEF, BUT YOU KNOW THIS
COMPUTER. IT DOESN'T MAKE MISTAKES.
5
00:00:42,809 --> 00:00:46,055
OH, THEN WHY DID IT PICK EGYPT
OVER ISRAEL IN THE SIX-DAY WAR?
6
00:00:46,079 --> 00:00:49,192
- WHO DIDN'T?
- I NEED EVERY
AVAILABLE MAN I CAN GET
7
00:00:49,216 --> 00:00:51,160
TO FIND KAOS'S MUNITIONS DEPOT.
8
00:00:51,184 --> 00:00:55,164
LET ME SEE THAT
LAYOFF LIST AGAIN.
9
00:00:55,188 --> 00:00:58,456
AGENT 42, 54, 71, 99...
10
00:00:59,526 --> 00:01:01,437
99? WHY 99?
11
00:01:01,461 --> 00:01:03,373
IT'S BASED ON SENIORITY, CHIEF.
12
00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:05,742
THOSE ARE THE FIVE AGENTS WHO HAVE
BEEN WITH US THE SHORTEST AMOUNT OF TIME.
13
00:01:05,766 --> 00:01:08,411
IT'S A TERRIBLE THING TO HAPPEN.
14
00:01:08,435 --> 00:01:10,280
MAX AND 99 JUST GOT
MARRIED, AND THEY BOUGHT
15
00:01:10,304 --> 00:01:12,115
ALL NEW FURNITURE. HOW
ARE THEY GOING TO PAY FOR IT?
16
00:01:12,139 --> 00:01:14,718
SHE CAN WORK AS A BABYSITTER
LIKE MY WIFE DOES, CHIEF.
17
00:01:14,742 --> 00:01:17,220
SHE MAKES $50 OR $60 A WEEK
BABYSITTING. IT WORKS OUT GREAT.
18
00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:18,721
YOUR WIFE SITS EVERY DAY?
19
00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:21,290
- NO, ONLY AT NIGHT.
- THEN WHEN DO
YOU SEE HER?
20
00:01:21,314 --> 00:01:23,382
I DON'T. I TOLD YOU,
IT WORKS OUT GREAT.
21
00:01:24,852 --> 00:01:26,329
I'VE GOT TO GET THIS OVER WITH
22
00:01:26,353 --> 00:01:27,831
OR I'LL NEVER BE ABLE
TO SLEEP TONIGHT.
23
00:01:27,855 --> 00:01:29,332
GET 99 ON THE PHONE FOR ME.
24
00:01:29,356 --> 00:01:30,867
I CAN'T. SHE'S OUT
ON A CASE WITH MAX.
25
00:01:30,891 --> 00:01:32,602
WELL, THAT'S EVEN BETTER.
I'LL LET MAX TELL HER.
26
00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:34,771
- GET MAX ON THE SHOE
PHONE FOR ME.
- RIGHT, CHIEF.
27
00:01:34,795 --> 00:01:36,273
ARE YOU GOING TO KILL ME?
28
00:01:36,297 --> 00:01:40,043
I HAVE ORDERS NOT TO TAKE
ANY CONTROL AGENTS ALIVE.
29
00:01:40,067 --> 00:01:42,445
ALL RIGHT, FELLA.
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE.
30
00:01:42,469 --> 00:01:44,781
NOW DROP THAT GUN
BEFORE I LET YOU HAVE IT.
31
00:01:44,805 --> 00:01:47,350
YOU DROP YOUR GUN
OR I'LL LET HER HAVE IT.
32
00:01:47,374 --> 00:01:49,786
YOU DROP YOUR GUN
OR I'LL LET YOU HAVE IT
33
00:01:49,810 --> 00:01:51,787
BEFORE YOU CAN LET HER HAVE IT.
34
00:01:51,811 --> 00:01:54,190
SUPPOSE I LET HER HAVE IT
BEFORE YOU LET ME HAVE IT.
35
00:01:54,214 --> 00:01:56,592
IT'LL DO YOU NO GOOD
TO LET ME HAVE IT
36
00:01:56,616 --> 00:01:58,228
ONCE SHE'S ALREADY
HAD IT, RIGHT?
37
00:01:58,252 --> 00:02:01,198
EH, COULD WE TAKE THAT
AGAIN FROM THE TOP?
38
00:02:01,222 --> 00:02:04,422
JUST DROP YOUR GUN
AND COME DOWN HERE.
39
00:02:09,496 --> 00:02:11,856
YOUR SHOE'S RINGING.
40
00:02:18,238 --> 00:02:19,715
HELLO, MAXWELL SMART HERE.
41
00:02:19,739 --> 00:02:22,218
OH HI, CHIEF. EH...
42
00:02:22,242 --> 00:02:24,220
WAIT A MINUTE, I'LL
FIND OUT. CAN I TALK?
43
00:02:24,244 --> 00:02:25,721
THANK YOU.
44
00:02:25,745 --> 00:02:27,891
IT'S OKAY, CHIEF. I CAN TALK.
45
00:02:27,915 --> 00:02:30,326
OH, REALLY? THAT'S GREAT.
46
00:02:30,350 --> 00:02:31,895
WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?
47
00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:35,131
DON'T BE SILLY. OF COURSE
I'M NOT UPSET. I'M DELIGHTED.
48
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:39,001
EH, I'LL EXPLAIN
WHEN I SEE YOU...
49
00:02:39,025 --> 00:02:40,937
EH, IF I SEE YOU.
50
00:02:40,961 --> 00:02:43,139
WHAT DO I MEAN
BY "IF I SEE YOU?"
51
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:46,809
YES, WELL, I'LL EXPLAIN THAT
WHEN I SEE YOU, CHIEF. GOODBYE.
52
00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:48,411
WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT, MAX?
53
00:02:48,435 --> 00:02:50,780
GREAT NEWS, 99. THERE'S
BEEN A CUTBACK AT CONTROL,
54
00:02:50,804 --> 00:02:52,315
AND YOU'RE NO LONGER
A CONTROL AGENT.
55
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:53,817
WELL, WHY IS THAT GOOD NEWS?
56
00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:55,418
BECAUSE IF YOU'RE NO
LONGER A CONTROL AGENT,
57
00:02:55,442 --> 00:02:56,920
THEN HE HAS NO
REASON TO KILL YOU.
58
00:02:56,944 --> 00:02:58,521
YOU'RE STILL A CONTROL AGENT.
59
00:02:58,545 --> 00:03:00,824
EH, YES, BUT I WAS
THINKING OF QUITTING.
60
00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:03,326
NO MATTER. I'M GOING
TO KILL YOU BOTH ANYWAY.
61
00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:05,462
BEFORE YOU DO, I HAVE
ONE LAST REQUEST.
62
00:03:05,486 --> 00:03:07,597
- YEAH, WHAT'S THAT?
- MAY I HAVE A KISS?
63
00:03:07,621 --> 00:03:09,098
WELL, CERTAINLY, 99.
64
00:03:09,122 --> 00:03:11,468
NO, MAX. HIM.
65
00:03:11,492 --> 00:03:13,269
HIM?
66
00:03:13,293 --> 00:03:15,694
WELL, OKAY.
67
00:03:17,631 --> 00:03:19,175
YOU MEAN, YOU WANT TO KISS ME?
68
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:21,911
- YES.
- WHAT KIND OF
LAST REQUEST IS THAT?
69
00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:23,869
WELL, I DON'T SMOKE.
70
00:03:26,439 --> 00:03:27,873
WHY NOT?
71
00:03:30,143 --> 00:03:31,621
OOH.
72
00:03:31,645 --> 00:03:34,323
MAX! YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE
TAKEN A CHANCE LIKE THAT.
73
00:03:34,347 --> 00:03:36,826
- HE COULD HAVE SHOT YOU.
- WELL, YOU DIDN'T THINK
I WAS GONNA
74
00:03:36,850 --> 00:03:38,828
STAND AROUND HERE
AND WATCH HIM KISS YOU.
75
00:03:38,852 --> 00:03:40,930
OH, MAX, I'M WEARING
MY KNOCKOUT LIPSTICK.
76
00:03:40,954 --> 00:03:43,399
THE MINUTE HE KISSED ME, HE
WOULD HAVE FALLEN UNCONSCIOUS.
77
00:03:43,423 --> 00:03:44,967
OH. WELL, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?
78
00:03:44,991 --> 00:03:47,737
WELL, I THOUGHT YOU COULD
TELL FROM MY STRANGE REQUEST.
79
00:03:47,761 --> 00:03:49,638
YOU DON'T THINK I'D KISS
ANOTHER MAN, DO YOU?
80
00:03:49,662 --> 00:03:52,108
NO, I GUESS NOT, 99.
81
00:03:52,132 --> 00:03:54,266
- I'M SORRY.
- AW.
82
00:05:08,976 --> 00:05:10,653
YOU WANTED TO SEE ME, CHIEF?
83
00:05:10,677 --> 00:05:13,523
OH, YES, MAX, WE'VE GOT A LEAD
ON THE KAOS MUNITIONS SHIPMENT.
84
00:05:13,547 --> 00:05:15,024
BUT FIRST, HOW IS 99 TAKING IT?
85
00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:16,960
NOT TOO GOOD, CHIEF.
AS A MATTER OF FACT,
86
00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:18,795
RIGHT NOW SHE'S OUT
LOOKING FOR A JOB.
87
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:21,231
WELL, WHY IS SHE DOING THAT?
THE LAYOFF IS ONLY TEMPORARY.
88
00:05:21,255 --> 00:05:23,400
I KNOW, CHIEF, BUT SHE'S
BEEN A CONTROL AGENT
89
00:05:23,424 --> 00:05:26,002
FOR SO MANY YEARS THAT SHE JUST CAN'T
SIT AROUND THE HOUSE AND DO NOTHING.
90
00:05:26,026 --> 00:05:27,770
WELL, IF IT MAKES
HER FEEL ANY BETTER,
91
00:05:27,794 --> 00:05:30,340
JUST TELL HER I AM NOT
TAKING THIS SITTING DOWN.
92
00:05:30,364 --> 00:05:32,308
I'M HAVING THAT COMPUTER
THOROUGHLY CHECKED OUT.
93
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,877
I NEVER TRUSTED IT ANYWAY.
94
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:40,917
KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN,
CHIEF. IT'S VERY SENSITIVE.
95
00:05:40,941 --> 00:05:43,753
THAT COMPUTER HAS BEEN WITH US
FOR SIX YEARS. WHY DON'T YOU TRUST IT?
96
00:05:43,777 --> 00:05:46,122
BECAUSE IT'S THE SAME
COMPUTER THAT GAVE US
97
00:05:46,146 --> 00:05:48,424
AN A-1 RATING ON YOU WHEN
WE TESTED YOU FOR CONTROL.
98
00:05:48,448 --> 00:05:50,960
OH.
99
00:05:50,984 --> 00:05:54,331
NOW WHEN WE SEARCHED THAT KAOS
AGENT THAT YOU CAPTURED LAST NIGHT,
100
00:05:54,355 --> 00:05:56,466
WE FOUND A KEY TO A
LOCKER AT THE AIRPORT,
101
00:05:56,490 --> 00:05:58,735
AND INSIDE OF THAT
LOCKER WE FOUND THIS BOX.
102
00:05:58,759 --> 00:06:00,337
WHAT DO YOU THINK THAT IS?
103
00:06:00,361 --> 00:06:02,672
BROWN WRAPPING PAPER.
104
00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:05,936
NO, MAX, I'M TALKING ABOUT THIS.
105
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:07,676
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS?
106
00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:09,178
SURE, IT'S A 12-SHOOTER.
107
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:12,015
MAX, IT'S KAOS'S
NEW SECRET WEAPON.
108
00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:14,439
IT'S A STEREOPHONIC PISTOL.
109
00:06:16,009 --> 00:06:18,154
A STEREOPHONIC PISTOL?
110
00:06:18,178 --> 00:06:20,289
THAT'S FANTASTIC, CHIEF.
111
00:06:20,313 --> 00:06:23,026
YOU MEAN, YOU CAN SHOOT
A BULLET FROM THIS BARREL,
112
00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:25,028
AND YOU CAN SHOOT A
BULLET FROM THIS BARREL
113
00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:28,097
AND IF YOU STAND IN BETWEEN, IT'S
JUST LIKE BEING THERE IN PERSON.
114
00:06:28,121 --> 00:06:31,134
- SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
- DOES IT ALSO
SHOOT MONAURAL?
115
00:06:31,158 --> 00:06:35,071
MAX, IF KAOS SUCCEEDS IN ARMING
THEIR AGENTS WITH THAT PISTOL,
116
00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:36,806
THEY'LL BE ABLE TO
OUTSHOOT US TWO TO ONE.
117
00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:39,475
NOT ONLY THAT, BUT
IT'LL SOUND BETTER.
118
00:06:39,499 --> 00:06:41,244
SO FAR THEY'VE ONLY
BEEN ABLE TO ARM
119
00:06:41,268 --> 00:06:43,346
FOUR OR FIVE OF THEIR
AGENTS, BUT WE'VE GOTTEN WORD
120
00:06:43,370 --> 00:06:45,415
THAT A BIG SHIPMENT IS
COMING IN ANY DAY NOW.
121
00:06:45,439 --> 00:06:46,916
NOW WHAT WE HAVE
TO DO IS FIND OUT
122
00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:49,118
WHERE KAOS IS GOING
TO HIDE THESE GUNS,
123
00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:51,621
AND HOW THEY INTEND TO
DISTRIBUTE THEM TO THEIR AGENTS.
124
00:06:51,645 --> 00:06:53,122
WHAT DO YOU WANT
ME TO DO, CHIEF?
125
00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:55,291
WELL, WITH THIS
CUTBACK IN PERSONNEL,
126
00:06:55,315 --> 00:06:57,426
WE'RE ALL GOING TO HAVE TO
DOUBLE UP ON OUR SURVEILLANCE.
127
00:06:57,450 --> 00:07:01,096
NOW WE'VE TO GOT TO COVER EVERY
SINGLE POSSIBLE PLACE IN TOWN.
128
00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:03,166
OKAY, CHIEF, YOU
CAN COUNT ON ME.
129
00:07:03,190 --> 00:07:04,934
I'LL BE UP FIRST
THING IN THE MORNING
130
00:07:04,958 --> 00:07:07,837
AND I'LL CHECK OUT EVERY
TOPLESS RESTAURANT IN TOWN.
131
00:07:07,861 --> 00:07:11,841
MAX, KAOS WOULDN'T HIDE
GUNS IN A TOPLESS RESTAURANT.
132
00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:13,676
- THEY WOULDN'T?
- NO.
133
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:16,412
- WELL, WHERE WOULD
THEY STORE THEM?
- I DON'T KNOW.
134
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:20,038
OH. WELL, IN THAT CASE, I'LL
CHECK THE TOPLESS RESTAURANTS.
135
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:46,142
OH, MAX. I DID IT
AGAIN. I'M SO SORRY.
136
00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:48,444
OH, THAT'S MY REFLEX
FROM BEING AN AGENT.
137
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:52,047
YOU REALLY MUSTN'T SNEAK
UP BEHIND ME LIKE THAT, MAX.
138
00:07:52,071 --> 00:07:53,883
COME ON, DEAR, I'LL
GET YOU SOME COFFEE.
139
00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:55,885
- AHH.
- MAX...
140
00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:57,586
NEVER MIND ABOUT THE COFFEE, 99.
141
00:07:57,610 --> 00:07:59,522
NEVER MIND ABOUT THE
COFFEE. I DON'T NEED ANY COFFEE.
142
00:07:59,546 --> 00:08:01,657
I HAVE A NICE, FULL DAY AHEAD OF
ME, AND I HAVE TO BE GOING NOW.
143
00:08:01,681 --> 00:08:03,893
MAX, THE CHIEF CALLED. HE
WANTS YOU TO CHECK OUT
144
00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:05,661
THE WATERFRONT
DISTRICT RIGHT AWAY.
145
00:08:05,685 --> 00:08:07,296
OH. WHAT ABOUT ALL
THOSE OTHER PLACES
146
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,797
I WAS SUPPOSED TO
CHECK OUT TODAY?
147
00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:10,400
HE SAID HE CHECKED
THEM OUT LAST NIGHT.
148
00:08:10,424 --> 00:08:13,169
HMM. OKAY, I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
149
00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:14,670
OKAY.
150
00:08:14,694 --> 00:08:16,772
WHAT'S THAT?
151
00:08:16,796 --> 00:08:18,974
THERE ARE THE WANT
ADS. I'M LOOKING FOR A JOB.
152
00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:21,944
OH. WELL, GOOD LUCK.
153
00:08:21,968 --> 00:08:23,634
THANK YOU. BYE.
154
00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:35,813
OH! MAX, I'M TERRIBLY SORRY.
155
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:05,054
WELL, I SEE YOU LAST WORKED
156
00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:06,822
AS AN AIRLINE STEWARDESS.
157
00:09:06,846 --> 00:09:09,359
- THAT'S RIGHT.
- OH. WHAT WAS YOUR
REASON FOR LEAVING?
158
00:09:09,383 --> 00:09:11,027
I GOT MARRIED.
159
00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:13,362
OH, AND THE AIRLINES
WOULDN'T LET YOU FLY ANYMORE?
160
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:16,465
NO, MY HUSBAND WOULDN'T.
HE'S AN AIRPLANE MECHANIC.
161
00:09:16,489 --> 00:09:18,334
OH.
162
00:09:18,358 --> 00:09:21,738
WELL, MRS. SMART, YOU HAVE AN
EXCELLENT EMPLOYMENT RECORD,
163
00:09:21,762 --> 00:09:23,606
BUT I'M JUST WONDERING
164
00:09:23,630 --> 00:09:25,541
IF YOU'D REALLY
ENJOY WORKING HERE.
165
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,243
OH, I'M SURE I WOULD.
166
00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:29,679
I LIKE A JOB WHERE YOU
COME IN CONTACT WITH PEOPLE.
167
00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:33,349
OH, WELL, I'LL JUST TAKE THIS BACK
AND GET MR. MARCO'S APPROVAL.
168
00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:35,251
IF I DO GET THE JOB,
WHEN WOULD I START?
169
00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:37,955
- COULD YOU START IMMEDIATELY?
- I DON'T SEE ANY
REASON WHY NOT.
170
00:09:42,215 --> 00:09:44,148
OPEN THAT ONE.
171
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,191
EXCELLENT.
172
00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:56,794
EXCELLENT.
173
00:09:57,864 --> 00:09:59,497
STACK THEM OVER THERE.
174
00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:11,087
YES?
175
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:14,312
MARCO, I THINK WE
FOUND A NEW SALESGIRL.
176
00:10:16,015 --> 00:10:17,493
MRS. MAXWELL SMART?
177
00:10:17,517 --> 00:10:18,995
YES, THAT'S HER NAME. WHY?
178
00:10:19,019 --> 00:10:21,697
SHE'S A CONTROL AGENT.
SO IS HER HUSBAND.
179
00:10:21,721 --> 00:10:23,533
YOU THINK SHE'S HERE UNDERCOVER?
180
00:10:23,557 --> 00:10:25,868
I DON'T KNOW. CONTROL IS
HAVING ECONOMIC PROBLEMS.
181
00:10:25,892 --> 00:10:27,536
SHE'S ONE OF FIVE
AGENTS THEY JUST LET GO.
182
00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:30,873
WELL, WE CAN'T AFFORD
TO TAKE ANY CHANCES.
183
00:10:30,897 --> 00:10:32,875
- I'LL GET RID OF HER.
- NO.
184
00:10:32,899 --> 00:10:34,510
HIRE HER INSTEAD.
185
00:10:34,534 --> 00:10:37,146
- DO YOU THINK
THAT'S WISE?
- BRILLIANT.
186
00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:39,081
WITH HER WORKING HERE,
WE'LL BE ABLE TO MONITOR
187
00:10:39,105 --> 00:10:40,749
ALL PHONE CALLS
WITH HER HUSBAND.
188
00:10:40,773 --> 00:10:43,152
WE CAN FIND OUT IF
CONTROL SUSPECTS
189
00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:45,154
THAT THIS IS THE
KAOS MUNITIONS DEPOT.
190
00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:47,690
- AND IF THEY DO?
- THEN THEY MAY FIND
A FEW GUNS,
191
00:10:47,714 --> 00:10:51,149
BUT THEY'LL NEVER
FIND MRS. SMART.
192
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:02,972
YES, THAT'S THE CORN POPPER.
193
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,473
THAT'S FOUR BOOKS, PLEASE.
194
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,342
2-1-7 PLEASE.
195
00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:09,746
YES, CAN I HELP YOU?
196
00:11:09,770 --> 00:11:11,247
I'D LIKE ONE OF THESE, PLEASE.
197
00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:13,771
THE GEORGE WALLACE
POSTER... THAT'S ONE BOOK.
198
00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:16,685
MMM, NO, YOU GAVE ME TWO BOOKS.
199
00:11:16,709 --> 00:11:18,387
THE WALLACE POSTER
IS ONLY ONE BOOK.
200
00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:20,923
YES, BUT I'D ALSO
LIKE A SET OF DARTS.
201
00:11:20,947 --> 00:11:22,524
OH, OF COURSE.
202
00:11:22,548 --> 00:11:25,783
349 AND 216, PLEASE.
203
00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:31,633
HERE WE GO. THAT'S $1.05 TAX.
204
00:11:31,657 --> 00:11:33,769
HOW ARE WE DOING, MRS. SMART?
205
00:11:33,793 --> 00:11:35,271
OH, JUST FINE, THANK YOU.
206
00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:37,073
I WONDER IF YOU'D MIND
IF I CALLED MY HUSBAND.
207
00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:39,475
HE DOESN'T KNOW I GOT THE JOB
AND I DON'T WANT HIM TO BE WORRIED.
208
00:11:39,499 --> 00:11:42,019
- OH, CERTAINLY,
GO RIGHT AHEAD.
- THANK YOU.
209
00:11:51,644 --> 00:11:53,289
HELLO?
210
00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:54,957
HELLO, MAX. I'M
GLAD I FOUND YOU IN.
211
00:11:54,981 --> 00:11:57,493
OH, 99, I'M GLAD YOU CALLED.
I WAS JUST ABOUT TO LEAVE.
212
00:11:57,517 --> 00:11:59,495
- WHERE ARE YOU?
- I GOT A JOB.
213
00:11:59,519 --> 00:12:01,697
I'M WORKING AT THE KNIGHT
STAMP REDEMPTION CENTER.
214
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:03,766
OH, THAT'S GREAT. LISTEN, HONEY,
215
00:12:03,790 --> 00:12:05,801
I MAY BE HOME LATE FOR DINNER
TONIGHT, BUT DON'T WORRY.
216
00:12:05,825 --> 00:12:08,938
WE GOT A TIP ON THE WHEREABOUTS
OF THE KAOS MUNITIONS DEPOT.
217
00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:11,206
OH, THAT'S WONDERFUL,
MAX. WHERE IS IT?
218
00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:13,175
WELL, I'M NOT PERMITTED
TO TELL YOU, 99,
219
00:12:13,199 --> 00:12:14,910
BUT ACCORDING TO THIS TIP,
220
00:12:14,934 --> 00:12:17,847
WE THINK THAT KAOS
IS USING AN OLD SILO
221
00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:20,783
ON AN ABANDONED FARM ABOUT
45 MILES OUT IN THE COUNTRY.
222
00:12:20,807 --> 00:12:22,285
BE CAREFUL, MAX.
223
00:12:22,309 --> 00:12:25,087
DON'T WORRY, 99. THIS IS
AN ALL-OUT CONTROL RAID.
224
00:12:25,111 --> 00:12:28,424
EVERY AVAILABLE AGENT IN
WASHINGTON WILL BE IN ON THIS.
225
00:12:28,448 --> 00:12:30,214
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
226
00:12:34,954 --> 00:12:36,932
IT'S THE MOMENT WE'VE
BEEN WAITING FOR.
227
00:12:36,956 --> 00:12:39,134
CONTROL IS OFF ON
A WILD GOOSE CHASE
228
00:12:39,158 --> 00:12:41,570
AND IT'S THE PERFECT
OPPORTUNITY TO START OUR BIG PUSH.
229
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:45,574
DIMITRI, NOTIFY EVERY
ONE OF OUR AGENTS
230
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:47,576
TO REPORT HERE
IMMEDIATELY TO PICK UP ARMS.
231
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,680
THEY'RE TO ASK FOR ITEM 949,
232
00:12:50,704 --> 00:12:52,348
THE ELECTRIC TOASTER.
233
00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:55,318
THE MOMENT WE HAVE
WAITED FOR HAS FINALLY COME.
234
00:12:55,342 --> 00:12:58,854
KAOS IS READY TO LAUNCH
ITS ARMED REVOLUTION.
235
00:12:58,878 --> 00:13:01,457
WE'LL STORM CONGRESS.
WE'LL ATTACK THE CAPITOL.
236
00:13:01,481 --> 00:13:03,926
AND WIPE OUT THE PENTAGON.
237
00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:07,363
BUT MAKE SURE WHEN THEY PICK UP THEIR
WEAPONS THAT THEY PAY THE SALES TAX.
238
00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:09,387
WE DON'T WANT ANY TROUBLE
WITH THE GOVERNMENT.
239
00:13:16,930 --> 00:13:19,475
I'LL HAVE A 949.
240
00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:22,166
949, PLEASE.
241
00:13:25,237 --> 00:13:27,049
949, PLEASE.
242
00:13:27,073 --> 00:13:30,118
- HERE YOU GO.
- GIVE ME A 949.
243
00:13:30,142 --> 00:13:32,843
949, PLEASE.
244
00:13:38,084 --> 00:13:39,895
HERE WE ARE.
245
00:13:39,919 --> 00:13:41,831
I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS.
246
00:13:41,855 --> 00:13:44,433
EVERYONE WHO COMES
IN HERE IS ASKING FOR 949.
247
00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:46,168
WHY SUCH A RUSH ON TOASTERS?
248
00:13:46,192 --> 00:13:47,670
I DON'T KNOW. JUST KEEP WORKING.
249
00:13:47,694 --> 00:13:49,171
I'M SURE WE'RE GOING TO RUN OUT.
250
00:13:49,195 --> 00:13:50,706
DO WE HAVE ENOUGH IN STOCK?
251
00:13:50,730 --> 00:13:52,741
I'LL CHECK. YOU TAKE
OVER FOR ME, OKAY?
252
00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:55,866
- 949, PLEASE.
- YOU TOO?
253
00:13:59,071 --> 00:14:01,717
- MARCO...
- WHAT ARE YOU
DOING IN HERE NOW?
254
00:14:01,741 --> 00:14:03,752
SHE'S STARTING TO ASK QUESTIONS.
255
00:14:03,776 --> 00:14:05,521
I THINK SHE'S BEGINNING
TO GET SUSPICIOUS.
256
00:14:05,545 --> 00:14:07,612
WELL, WE'D BETTER MOVE FASTER.
257
00:14:11,384 --> 00:14:13,262
- 949.
- 949 FOR YOU.
258
00:14:13,286 --> 00:14:15,565
- HERE YOU ARE.
- GIVE ME 949.
259
00:14:15,589 --> 00:14:17,566
949.
260
00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:19,991
- AND HERE'S 949.
- 949, PLEASE.
261
00:14:21,460 --> 00:14:22,938
HERE YOU GO.
262
00:14:22,962 --> 00:14:24,628
MORE 949s, PLEASE.
263
00:14:54,493 --> 00:14:56,204
949.
264
00:15:15,749 --> 00:15:18,427
SONJA, YOU BETTER
GET BACK OUT THERE
265
00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:19,884
AND WATCH HER CLOSELY.
266
00:15:27,827 --> 00:15:29,338
HOW ARE YOU DOING, DEAR?
267
00:15:29,362 --> 00:15:30,839
OH, I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE BACK.
268
00:15:30,863 --> 00:15:32,341
I'M ABSOLUTELY EXHAUSTED.
269
00:15:32,365 --> 00:15:33,975
I WONDER IF YOU'D DO ME A FAVOR.
270
00:15:33,999 --> 00:15:35,477
COULD YOU TAKE OVER
HERE WHILE I GO BACK
271
00:15:35,501 --> 00:15:38,181
- AND FRESHEN UP
A LITTLE BIT?
- CERTAINLY.
272
00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:50,426
99 CALLING CONTROL,
99 CALLING CONTROL.
273
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:52,061
99, HOW NICE TO HEAR FROM YOU.
274
00:15:52,085 --> 00:15:53,629
TELL ME, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING WITH YOURSELF?
275
00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:55,798
CHIEF, I'VE TAKEN A
JOB AND THE PLACE...
276
00:15:55,822 --> 00:15:57,332
Chief: Max told me
you were going to work.
277
00:15:57,356 --> 00:15:59,101
THAT'S A WISE THING, 99.
IT'LL KEEP YOU OCCUPIED.
278
00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:00,836
LISTEN, CHIEF, I CAN
ONLY TALK FOR A MINUTE.
279
00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:03,438
I THINK I'VE STUMBLED ONTO
THE KAOS MUNITIONS DEPOT.
280
00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:05,708
- WHAT? WHERE?
- AT THE PLACE
WHERE I'M WORKING.
281
00:16:05,732 --> 00:16:07,209
WELL, WHAT'S THE
NAME OF THE PLACE?
282
00:16:07,233 --> 00:16:09,633
IT'S ON 4th AND VERMONT.
IT'S CALLED "KNIGHT"...
283
00:16:12,338 --> 00:16:13,971
99?
284
00:16:16,842 --> 00:16:18,320
DID YOU WANT TO SEE ME, CHIEF?
285
00:16:18,344 --> 00:16:20,389
YES, 99 HAS DISCOVERED
THE LOCATION
286
00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:21,923
OF THE KAOS MUNITIONS DEPOT.
287
00:16:21,947 --> 00:16:24,493
BUT BEFORE SHE COULD TELL
ME MORE, THE LINE WENT DEAD.
288
00:16:24,517 --> 00:16:26,061
SO WHAT DID YOU WANT
TO SEE ME ABOUT, CHIEF?
289
00:16:26,085 --> 00:16:28,297
LARABEE, WE'VE GOT TO FIND
OUT WHERE 99 IS WORKING.
290
00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:30,332
THAT'S WHERE THE
KAOS MUNITIONS DEPOT IS.
291
00:16:30,356 --> 00:16:32,134
DID SHE SAY ANYTHING
THAT COULD GIVE US A CLUE?
292
00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:34,970
ALL SHE HAD TIME TO TELL ME WAS
THAT IT WAS ON 4th AND VERMONT.
293
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:37,372
FOURTH AND VERMONT. I
KNOW THAT AREA, CHIEF.
294
00:16:37,396 --> 00:16:41,209
THERE'S A GAS STATION, A
JEWELRY STORE, A DELICATESSEN...
295
00:16:41,233 --> 00:16:43,112
THAT'S IT, CHIEF. IT MUST
BE THE DELICATESSEN.
296
00:16:43,136 --> 00:16:44,813
LARABEE, WHY WOULD
THEY USE A DELICATESSEN
297
00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:46,414
FOR A MUNITIONS DEPOT?
298
00:16:46,438 --> 00:16:49,017
AND IF THEY DID, HOW WOULD THEY
GET THE GUNS TO THEIR AGENTS?
299
00:16:49,041 --> 00:16:51,620
I KNOW THAT DELICATESSEN,
CHIEF. THEY DELIVER.
300
00:16:51,644 --> 00:16:54,523
WE'VE GOT TO CONTACT
MAX IMMEDIATELY.
301
00:16:54,547 --> 00:16:56,025
HE'LL KNOW WHERE 99 IS WORKING.
302
00:16:56,049 --> 00:16:57,926
GET HIM ON THE SHOE
PHONE FOR ME RIGHT AWAY.
303
00:16:57,950 --> 00:17:00,129
RIGHT, CHIEF.
304
00:17:00,153 --> 00:17:02,464
HELLO.
305
00:17:02,488 --> 00:17:04,166
HI CHIEF, THIS IS MAX.
306
00:17:06,759 --> 00:17:08,304
Chief: Oh, Max, thank
goodness you called.
307
00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:10,672
CHIEF, WE'VE LOCATED THE SILO.
308
00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:14,176
MAX, FORGET ABOUT THE SILO.
JUST TELL ME WHERE 99 IS WORKING.
309
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:18,147
SHE'S WORKING AT THE KNIGHT STAMP
REDEMPTION CENTER ON VERMONT.
310
00:17:18,171 --> 00:17:20,249
WE'VE GOT THE FARM
SURROUNDED, CHIEF.
311
00:17:20,273 --> 00:17:21,850
Chief: Max, forget
about the farm.
312
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:23,518
Just get back to town
as soon as you can,
313
00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:25,654
and meet us at Knight
Stamp Redemption Center.
314
00:17:25,678 --> 00:17:29,191
RIGHT, CHIEF, AS SOON
AS WE EXECUTE PLAN B.
315
00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:31,026
MAX, YOU'RE WORKING
ON A FALSE LEAD.
316
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:33,662
99 has inadvertently
discovered that
317
00:17:33,686 --> 00:17:36,765
the Knight Stamp Redemption
Center is the KAOS munitions depot.
318
00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:39,000
So forget about plan
B. Don't blow up that silo.
319
00:17:39,024 --> 00:17:41,871
- I WISH YOU'D TOLD ME
THAT BEFORE, CHIEF.
- Why?
320
00:17:44,030 --> 00:17:45,508
THAT'S WHY.
321
00:17:45,532 --> 00:17:47,743
HURRY BACK, MAX.
322
00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:50,201
RIGHT, CHIEF.
323
00:17:52,638 --> 00:17:54,883
I TRIED TO GET MAX, CHIEF,
BUT HIS SHOE PHONE WAS BUSY.
324
00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:56,785
IT WAS BUSY BECAUSE
HE WAS CALLING US.
325
00:17:56,809 --> 00:17:58,553
- YOU WERE JUST
TALKING TO HIM?
- YES.
326
00:17:58,577 --> 00:18:00,555
WELL, NO WONDER. I TRIED
TO GET YOU TO TELL YOU THAT
327
00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:02,291
MAX'S LINE WAS BUSY,
BUT YOUR LINE WAS BUSY.
328
00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:04,726
MAX IS GOING TO MEET US AT
THE STAMP REDEMPTION CENTER,
329
00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:06,728
BUT WE'D BETTER GET THERE
RIGHT AWAY TO TRY TO SAVE 99.
330
00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:09,397
- RIGHT, CHIEF.
- NOW WE'D BETTER
STOP BY WARDROBE
331
00:18:09,421 --> 00:18:11,934
- AND PICK UP SOME DISGUISES.
- WHAT FOR?
332
00:18:11,958 --> 00:18:13,902
LARABEE, EVERY KAOS
AGENT IN WASHINGTON
333
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:16,004
WILL BE GOING IN AND COMING
OUT OF THE REDEMPTION CENTER.
334
00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:17,505
THEY'RE SURE TO RECOGNIZE US.
335
00:18:17,529 --> 00:18:20,497
OH, REALLY?
336
00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:29,473
Sonja: 949, PLEASE.
337
00:18:39,085 --> 00:18:41,963
I FEEL LIKE A DARNED FOOL
STANDING HERE DRESSED LIKE THIS.
338
00:18:41,987 --> 00:18:43,832
I'M SORRY, CHIEF, BUT THE
ONLY THING THEY HAD LEFT
339
00:18:43,856 --> 00:18:45,667
IN WARDROBE WAS THAT
DRESS AND A MINISKIRT.
340
00:18:45,691 --> 00:18:47,636
- 949, PLEASE.
- WELL, YOU'RE NOT
WEARING A MINISKIRT.
341
00:18:47,660 --> 00:18:50,105
OF COURSE I'M NOT. THIS
HAPPENS TO BE MY OWN DRESS.
342
00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:53,409
LARABEE, IS THERE SOMETHING
ABOUT YOU I DON'T KNOW?
343
00:18:53,433 --> 00:18:55,344
I KEPT THIS AS A SOUVENIR.
344
00:18:55,368 --> 00:18:57,946
I PLAYED CHARLEY'S
AUNT IN COLLEGE.
345
00:18:57,970 --> 00:18:59,448
949, PLEASE.
346
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:01,517
THAT'S THE 11th PERSON
WHO HAS ASKED FOR A 949
347
00:19:01,541 --> 00:19:03,385
SINCE WE'VE BEEN STANDING HERE.
348
00:19:03,409 --> 00:19:06,388
OBVIOUSLY, THEY'RE DISTRIBUTING
THE GUNS IN TOASTER CARTONS.
349
00:19:06,412 --> 00:19:08,490
I DON'T SEE ANY SIGN OF 99.
350
00:19:08,514 --> 00:19:10,434
THEY'VE PROBABLY GOT
HER HIDDEN IN THE BACK.
351
00:19:11,951 --> 00:19:14,096
AS SOON AS WE GET TO THE
COUNTER, I'LL MAKE OUR MOVE.
352
00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:16,131
NEXT.
353
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:19,901
949, PLEASE, THE
ELECTRIC TOASTER.
354
00:19:19,925 --> 00:19:22,370
DID YOU SAY 949?
355
00:19:22,394 --> 00:19:24,662
THAT'S RIGHT.
356
00:19:31,737 --> 00:19:34,416
THE LAST OF OUR
AGENTS JUST LEFT.
357
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:36,151
I'LL CLOSE UP AND
LOCK THE FRONT DOOR.
358
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:38,554
EXCELLENT. OUR
TASK IS COMPLETED.
359
00:19:38,578 --> 00:19:42,357
AND NOW I SEE NO NEED TO KEEP
THESE THREE ALIVE ANY MORE.
360
00:19:42,381 --> 00:19:45,049
Max's voice: HELLO,
ANYBODY HERE?
361
00:19:53,725 --> 00:19:55,203
IT'S MAXWELL SMART.
362
00:19:55,227 --> 00:19:56,704
HELLO, ANYBODY HERE?
363
00:19:56,728 --> 00:19:58,840
IF WE DON'T ANSWER,
MAYBE HE'LL GO AWAY.
364
00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:01,276
WE CAN'T TAKE A CHANCE
ON AROUSING HIS SUSPICIONS.
365
00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:04,112
YOU GO OUT THERE AND TELL HIM
HIS WIFE LEFT HERE 15 MINUTES AGO.
366
00:20:04,136 --> 00:20:06,070
I'LL KEEP YOU COVERED.
367
00:20:08,574 --> 00:20:12,421
OH, I'M SORRY, BUT WE'RE
CLOSING FOR THE NIGHT.
368
00:20:12,445 --> 00:20:15,057
OH, YES, WELL, YOU SEE
MY WIFE WORKS HERE,
369
00:20:15,081 --> 00:20:16,925
AND I WAS SUPPOSED TO PICK
HER UP AND TAKE HER HOME.
370
00:20:16,949 --> 00:20:19,828
- YOU MUST BE MR. SMART.
- YES, THAT'S RIGHT.
371
00:20:19,852 --> 00:20:21,563
OH, WELL, YOUR
WIFE FINISHED WORK
372
00:20:21,587 --> 00:20:23,667
AND LEFT FOR HOME
ABOUT 15 MINUTES AGO.
373
00:20:30,963 --> 00:20:34,464
WHAT THE... OH!
374
00:20:36,603 --> 00:20:38,180
WHAT'S THAT?
375
00:20:38,204 --> 00:20:40,415
- THAT'S A CONVEYOR BELT.
- OH.
376
00:20:40,439 --> 00:20:42,473
- MAX!
- MY WIFE'S ON IT.
377
00:20:44,510 --> 00:20:46,543
MY WIFE'S ON IT?
378
00:20:48,380 --> 00:20:49,891
- MAX.
- 99!
379
00:20:49,915 --> 00:20:52,160
THIS IS NO TIME TO BE SURFING.
380
00:20:52,184 --> 00:20:54,529
MAX, THE CHIEF AND
LARABEE ARE TIED UP IN BACK.
381
00:20:54,553 --> 00:20:56,353
NO, YOU CAN'T GO BACK THERE.
382
00:21:01,126 --> 00:21:02,771
ALL RIGHT, DROP IT.
383
00:21:02,795 --> 00:21:04,939
BE CAREFUL MAX, THERE'S
ANOTHER AGENT IN HERE SOMEWHERE.
384
00:21:04,963 --> 00:21:07,203
DON'T WORRY,
CHIEF, I'LL GET HIM.
385
00:21:12,738 --> 00:21:14,883
HOLD IT, MR. SMART.
386
00:21:14,907 --> 00:21:17,308
DROP THE GUN.
387
00:21:39,565 --> 00:21:41,245
GOOD! GOOD, MAX, GOOD!
388
00:21:42,902 --> 00:21:45,502
NOT GOOD, MAX, NOT GOOD.
389
00:21:57,783 --> 00:21:59,282
GO GET 'EM, MAX.
390
00:22:14,266 --> 00:22:15,699
ATTABOY.
391
00:22:29,014 --> 00:22:30,759
YOU GOT HIM. YOU GOT HIM, MAX.
392
00:22:30,783 --> 00:22:32,249
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
393
00:22:48,968 --> 00:22:50,479
Marco: THAT'S ENOUGH, MR. SMART.
394
00:22:50,503 --> 00:22:53,381
YOU WILL NOW HAVE THE HONOR
OF BEING THE FIRST RECIPIENT
395
00:22:53,405 --> 00:22:57,340
OF TWO BULLETS FROM KAOS'S
NEW STEREOPHONIC PISTOL.
396
00:23:07,587 --> 00:23:10,465
THOSE JAPANESE...
397
00:23:10,489 --> 00:23:12,367
WHEN WE SPECIFIED
"STEREOPHONIC,"
398
00:23:12,391 --> 00:23:14,035
THEY TOOK US LITERALLY.
399
00:23:14,059 --> 00:23:17,139
THAT MEANS EVERY KAOS AGENT IN
WASHINGTON IS ARMED WITH A RADIO.
400
00:23:18,330 --> 00:23:20,775
ALL RIGHT, MARCO,
DON'T TRY TO ESCAPE.
401
00:23:20,799 --> 00:23:23,799
THIS BUILDING IS COMPLETELY
SURROUNDED BY CONTROL AGENTS.
402
00:23:25,704 --> 00:23:27,716
99, YOU'RE GOING TO GET
A COMMENDATION FOR THIS.
403
00:23:27,740 --> 00:23:30,385
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE COMPUTER
SAYS, YOU'RE GOING BACK TO WORK.
404
00:23:30,409 --> 00:23:32,020
THAN YOU, CHIEF.
405
00:23:32,044 --> 00:23:33,655
OKAY, CHIEF, I'LL
UNTIE YOU FIRST,
406
00:23:33,679 --> 00:23:36,057
THEN YOU, 99.
407
00:23:36,081 --> 00:23:38,827
CHIEF, I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW YOU
EVER THOUGHT YOU COULD FOOL ANYBODY
408
00:23:38,851 --> 00:23:41,496
WITH A RIDICULOUS
DISGUISE LIKE THIS.
409
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:43,960
I'LL GET TO YOU
IN A MOMENT, LADY.
31551
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