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1
00:00:07,641 --> 00:00:09,986
HELLO.
2
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:12,289
Operator: Mr. Maxwell
Smart, please.
3
00:00:12,313 --> 00:00:15,391
- Long distance calling.
- I'M DRENCHED.
4
00:00:15,415 --> 00:00:17,560
I have a call from Mrs.
Smart for Mr. Smart.
5
00:00:17,584 --> 00:00:19,296
Is he there, Mr. Drenched?
6
00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:23,300
NO, MY NAME ISN'T...
MRS. SMART, DID YOU SAY?
7
00:00:23,324 --> 00:00:26,236
- That is correct.
- YES, I'LL ACCEPT THE CALL.
8
00:00:26,260 --> 00:00:28,938
Please deposit $4.75.
9
00:00:28,962 --> 00:00:31,675
RIGHT, OPERATOR.
10
00:00:42,877 --> 00:00:45,688
- 99. - HELLO, MAX. HOW ARE YOU?
11
00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:48,358
GEE, I'M SURE GLAD
TO HEAR YOUR VOICE.
12
00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:50,059
Sorry, your time is up.
13
00:00:50,083 --> 00:00:53,630
LOOK, 99, WHY DON'T YOU CALL ME
RIGHT BACK AND REVERSE THE CHARGES?
14
00:00:53,654 --> 00:00:56,221
RIGHT, MAX.
15
00:00:58,159 --> 00:01:01,571
- WHO IS IT?
- Man: IT'S YOUR SPIFFY
VACUUM CLEANER MAN.
16
00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:04,340
I'M SORRY, BUT I'M NOT
INTERESTED IN A VACUUM CLEANER.
17
00:01:04,364 --> 00:01:06,243
SPIFFY CLEANS IN A JIFFY.
18
00:01:06,267 --> 00:01:08,779
GOOD FOR SPIFFY. I'M
STILL NOT INTERESTED.
19
00:01:08,803 --> 00:01:11,915
LOOK, I'M VERY BUSY. I'M EXPECTING
A LONG DISTANCE PHONE CALL.
20
00:01:11,939 --> 00:01:15,073
THERE IT IS NOW. EXCUSE ME.
21
00:01:18,312 --> 00:01:20,990
- HELLO.
- Operator: Mr. Drenched,
I have a collect call
22
00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:22,692
from Mrs. Smart for Mr. Smart.
23
00:01:22,716 --> 00:01:24,927
- I'LL ACCEPT IT.
- Go ahead, please.
24
00:01:24,951 --> 00:01:28,431
OH, HELLO, MAX. I
MISS YOU SO MUCH.
25
00:01:28,455 --> 00:01:30,567
I MISS YOU TOO. HOW'S
THE ASSIGNMENT COMING?
26
00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:33,470
PRETTY WELL. I SHOULD HAVE IT
WRAPPED UP IN TWO OR THREE DAYS.
27
00:01:33,494 --> 00:01:35,304
GOOD. I CAN'T WAIT
FOR YOU TO GET HOME.
28
00:01:35,328 --> 00:01:37,507
THINGS AREN'T THE SAME
AROUND HERE WITHOUT YOU.
29
00:01:37,531 --> 00:01:39,776
Aw, have you been taking
care of yourself, Max?
30
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:42,479
- HAVE YOU BEEN EATING
A GOOD BREAKFAST?
- DON'T WORRY, 99.
31
00:01:42,503 --> 00:01:45,448
EVERY MORNING WHEN I GET UP, I GO
DOWN TO THE LUNCHROOM ON THE CORNER,
32
00:01:45,472 --> 00:01:47,951
HAVE BREAKFAST AND THEN I RUN
RIGHT BACK TO THE APARTMENT.
33
00:01:47,975 --> 00:01:50,987
OH, MAX, YOU SHOULDN'T EAT
THERE. THE FOOD IS TERRIBLE.
34
00:01:51,011 --> 00:01:53,289
WHY DO YOU THINK I RUN
RIGHT BACK TO THE APARTMENT?
35
00:01:53,313 --> 00:01:55,458
MAX, I DON'T WANT YOU
TO EAT THERE ANYMORE.
36
00:01:55,482 --> 00:01:59,663
IF YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE COOKING, JUST GO TO
THE SUPERMARKET AND GET SOME TV DINNERS.
37
00:01:59,687 --> 00:02:02,164
I DID, 99, BUT THEY
CANCELED ALL MY FAVORITES.
38
00:02:02,188 --> 00:02:03,999
MAX, I'M LATE FOR A CONTACT.
39
00:02:04,023 --> 00:02:06,536
YOU TAKE BETTER CARE OF
YOURSELF. I'LL CALL AGAIN TOMORROW.
40
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:09,794
- GOODBYE, SWEETHEART.
- BYE-BYE, LOVE.
41
00:02:16,437 --> 00:02:19,616
- WHO IS IT?
- Man: YOUR SPIFFY
VACUUM CLEANER MAN.
42
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:23,453
I ALREADY TOLD YOU I'M NOT
INTERESTED IN BUYING A VACUUM CLEANER.
43
00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:26,345
SIR, JUST LET ME SHOW YOU
THE QUALITY OF THE HOSE.
44
00:02:28,715 --> 00:02:31,394
I REALLY APPRECIATE THIS.
45
00:02:31,418 --> 00:02:33,896
YOU'RE THE FIRST PERSON
WHO EVEN LET ME IN THE DOOR.
46
00:02:33,920 --> 00:02:35,898
YES WELL, THAT'S ALL
VERY WELL AND GOOD.
47
00:02:35,922 --> 00:02:38,234
NEVERTHELESS, I HAVE NO
NEED FOR A VACUUM CLEANER,
48
00:02:38,258 --> 00:02:40,470
- SO YOU'RE JUST
WASTING YOUR TIME.
- IT'S OKAY.
49
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,105
WHEN I GO BACK TO THE OFFICE,
50
00:02:42,129 --> 00:02:44,207
I HAVE TO TELL THEM I
HAD A DEMONSTRATION.
51
00:02:44,231 --> 00:02:46,142
ALL RIGHT, GO AHEAD.
DEMONSTRATE IT.
52
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:48,478
- JUST TAKE A SECOND.
- YOU'RE WASTING
YOUR TIME.
53
00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:50,613
I'M TELLING YOU I DON'T
NEED A VACUUM CLEANER.
54
00:02:50,637 --> 00:02:53,117
WAIT'LL YOU SEE IT.
YOU'LL APPRECIATE IT.
55
00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:07,230
- IS THAT DIRT?
- YES, IT IS,
BUT IT'S CLEAN.
56
00:03:07,254 --> 00:03:09,198
IT'S THE FIRST TIME
I USED IT ALL DAY.
57
00:03:09,222 --> 00:03:11,101
I CERTAINLY HOPE
THIS THING CAN PICK
58
00:03:11,125 --> 00:03:13,403
ALL THAT JUNK YOU JUST
THREW ALL OVER MY NEW RUG.
59
00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:16,495
YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE
WHEN YOU HEAR THIS MACHINE.
60
00:03:17,831 --> 00:03:20,543
HUH? HOW ABOUT THAT MOTOR?
61
00:03:20,567 --> 00:03:23,280
- YOU CAN HARDLY HEAR IT.
- I CAN'T HEAR IT AT ALL.
62
00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:26,116
THAT'S BECAUSE IT'S NOT RUNNING.
63
00:03:26,140 --> 00:03:28,185
THERE'S A SHORT. I'LL GET THE...
64
00:03:28,209 --> 00:03:30,820
I HAVE ANOTHER ONE, SIR, IN
MY CAR, A NEW DEMONSTRATOR.
65
00:03:30,844 --> 00:03:32,722
- LET ME GET THAT.
- DON'T BOTHER.
66
00:03:32,746 --> 00:03:35,124
- I'LL USE MY OWN VACUUM,
CLEAN IT UP.
- NO, DON'T DO THAT.
67
00:03:35,148 --> 00:03:37,126
THAT DIRT WON'T COME UP
IN YOUR VACUUM CLEANER.
68
00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:40,163
THIS IS A SPECIAL KIND OF DIRT.
IT'LL ONLY WORK IN A SPIFFY.
69
00:03:40,187 --> 00:03:42,420
DON'T PANIC. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
70
00:03:43,590 --> 00:03:45,790
SPIFFY IN A JIFFY.
71
00:03:58,304 --> 00:04:00,549
GAS.
72
00:05:27,293 --> 00:05:29,939
CHIEF, YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE
WHAT JUST HAPPENED TO ME.
73
00:05:29,963 --> 00:05:32,642
I WAS GASSED BY A PHONY
VACUUM-CLEANER SALESMAN.
74
00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:34,077
AND WHEN I CAME TO,
75
00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:36,712
MY WHOLE APARTMENT HAD
BEEN COMPLETELY RANSACKED.
76
00:05:36,736 --> 00:05:38,748
- THEY'RE EARLY.
- Who's early?
77
00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:40,750
KAOS... THEY'RE
LOOKING FOR DR. CANYON.
78
00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:42,986
- WHO'S DR. CANYON?
- A KAOS SCIENTIST
79
00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:45,388
WHO'S INVENTED A
FORMULA FOR INVISIBILITY.
80
00:05:45,412 --> 00:05:48,458
- INVISIBILITY?
- DR. CANYON HAS DEFECTED
TO THIS COUNTRY
81
00:05:48,482 --> 00:05:50,860
AND HAS OFFERED TO TURN
THE SECRET OVER TO CONTROL.
82
00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:53,362
- WHAT SECRET?
- THE SECRET
OF INVISIBILITY, MAX.
83
00:05:53,386 --> 00:05:55,031
OH, THAT SECRET.
84
00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:57,600
THEN THAT'S WHY THEY
SEARCHED MY APARTMENT.
85
00:05:57,624 --> 00:05:58,968
- CHIEF?
- YEAH?
86
00:05:58,992 --> 00:06:01,503
Why did they search
my apartment?
87
00:06:01,527 --> 00:06:05,441
- MAX, THIS IS TOO VITAL
TO DISCUSS ON THE PHONE.
- I COULDN'T AGREE MORE, CHIEF.
88
00:06:05,465 --> 00:06:08,210
- YOU COME DOWN HERE
AS SOON AS YOU CAN.
- I'M LEAVING NOW, CHIEF.
89
00:06:08,234 --> 00:06:09,846
- AND I'LL FILL YOU IN.
- ON WHAT?
90
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:12,649
- MAX!
- I'M LEAVING
RIGHT AWAY, CHIEF.
91
00:06:12,673 --> 00:06:15,584
- IS THERE ANYTHING
I CAN BRING YOU?
- NO, THANKS, MAX.
92
00:06:15,608 --> 00:06:18,009
I'VE ALREADY GOT IT.
93
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:24,928
DR. CANYON'S FORMULA FOR
INVISIBILITY'S REALLY QUITE SIMPLE.
94
00:06:24,952 --> 00:06:28,297
ALL OBJECTS REFLECT
OR REFRACT LIGHT WAVES.
95
00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:30,367
THE FORMULA CHANGES
THE ABSORPTION RATIO
96
00:06:30,391 --> 00:06:33,035
SO THE OPTIC NERVE IS UNABLE
TO TRANSMIT LIGHT IMPULSES
97
00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:36,305
TO THE CEREBELLUM, THUS RENDERING
ANYTHING IT TOUCHES IMPERCEPTIBLE.
98
00:06:36,329 --> 00:06:38,241
THAT'S EASY FOR YOU TO SAY.
99
00:06:38,265 --> 00:06:40,243
MAX, IN OTHER WORDS,
100
00:06:40,267 --> 00:06:42,578
IT HAS THE ABILITY TO
CLOUD MEN'S MINDS.
101
00:06:42,602 --> 00:06:46,115
HEY, CHIEF, THAT'D COME IN
VERY HANDY DURING AN ELECTION.
102
00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:47,884
IT COMES IN HANDY
RIGHT NOW, MAX.
103
00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:49,885
THERE'S SOMETHING I
HAVEN'T TOLD YOU YET.
104
00:06:49,909 --> 00:06:51,854
BRACE YOURSELF.
105
00:06:51,878 --> 00:06:54,390
KAOS HAS STOLEN
THE GINSBURG PAPERS.
106
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:56,492
- CHIEF.
- YES.
107
00:06:56,516 --> 00:06:58,794
SOMEONE'S BEEN PUTTING
GUM UNDER YOUR DESK.
108
00:06:58,818 --> 00:07:00,430
MAX, DIDN'T YOU
HEAR WHAT I SAID?
109
00:07:00,454 --> 00:07:02,331
THE GINSBURG PAPERS
HAVE BEEN STOLEN.
110
00:07:02,355 --> 00:07:04,733
YOU KNOW HOW VALUABLE
THEY ARE TO OUR GOVERNMENT.
111
00:07:04,757 --> 00:07:07,070
I KNOW. IF THOSE PAPERS
FALL INTO THE WRONG HANDS...
112
00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:08,971
MAX, THEY ARE IN
THE WRONG HANDS,
113
00:07:08,995 --> 00:07:11,774
- AND WE'VE GOT
TO GET THEM BACK.
- HOW ARE WE GONNA DO THAT?
114
00:07:11,798 --> 00:07:14,844
WHO IS THE ONE PERSON WHO COULD
PENETRATE KAOS HEADQUARTERS,
115
00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:18,136
GET THE GINSBURG PAPERS AND
SLIP OUT WITHOUT BEING NOTICED?
116
00:07:19,706 --> 00:07:22,151
- THE VICE PRESIDENT.
- WRONG.
117
00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:24,987
DR. CANYON.
118
00:07:25,011 --> 00:07:28,557
OF COURSE, DR. CANYON. HE
COULD MAKE HIMSELF INVISIBLE
119
00:07:28,581 --> 00:07:30,559
AND WALK RIGHT INTO
KAOS HEADQUARTERS.
120
00:07:30,583 --> 00:07:32,228
THERE'S ONLY ONE DANGER:
121
00:07:32,252 --> 00:07:34,597
THE FORMULA WEARS OFF
WITH VERY LITTLE WARNING.
122
00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:37,433
IF THAT SHOULD HAPPEN WHILE
HE'S IN THERE, THEY'LL KILL HIM.
123
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,669
THAT'S THE CHANCE
WE'LL HAVE TO TAKE, CHIEF.
124
00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:43,038
I'D RATHER RISK ONE OF OUR OWN AGENTS,
BUT UNTIL THE FORMULA'S PERFECTED,
125
00:07:43,062 --> 00:07:46,643
- DR. CANYON WON'T
LET ANYONE ELSE USE IT.
- WHEN DOES DR. CANYON GET HERE?
126
00:07:46,667 --> 00:07:49,745
TONIGHT BY BOAT. YOU'RE TO MEET
HIM AT THE GOLDEN FRIGATE CAFE.
127
00:07:49,769 --> 00:07:51,748
- WHAT DOES HE LOOK LIKE?
- WE DON'T KNOW.
128
00:07:51,772 --> 00:07:54,083
WE DON'T HAVE A PICTURE
OF DR. CANYON IN OUR FILES.
129
00:07:54,107 --> 00:07:56,719
BUT YOU GO TO THE CAFE
AND HE'LL CONTACT YOU.
130
00:07:56,743 --> 00:07:59,622
NOW REMEMBER, MAX, YOUR
JOB IS TO PROTECT HIM FROM KAOS
131
00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:02,324
UNTIL COMPLETE SECURITY
ARRANGEMENTS CAN BE MADE.
132
00:08:02,348 --> 00:08:05,195
I'LL HIDE HIM AT MY APARTMENT.
KAOS HAS ALREADY SEARCHED THERE.
133
00:08:05,219 --> 00:08:08,231
GOOD THINKING, MAX. OH, ONE
MORE THING... THIS CASE IS A CODE "Z."
134
00:08:08,255 --> 00:08:10,966
THAT MEANS YOU CAN'T DISCUSS
IT WITH ANYONE, NOT EVEN 99.
135
00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:12,969
- RIGHT, CHIEF.
- NOW, MAX,
136
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,436
I WANT YOU TO BE VERY CAREFUL.
137
00:08:14,460 --> 00:08:16,472
KAOS WILL STOP AT NOTHING
TO GET AT THE DOCTOR.
138
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:19,842
DON'T WORRY, CHIEF. THEY'RE DEALING
WITH A THOROUGHLY EXPERIENCED,
139
00:08:19,866 --> 00:08:22,678
HIGHLY-TRAINED, ALERT
AND PERCEPTIVE AGENT,
140
00:08:22,702 --> 00:08:26,504
ONE WHO DOESN'T OVERLOOK
THE MINUTEST DETAIL.
141
00:08:31,911 --> 00:08:35,380
CHIEF, WHAT WAS THAT PLACE THAT
I WAS SUPPOSED TO MEET HIM AT?
142
00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:49,598
HELLO, CHIEF, MAX.
143
00:09:49,622 --> 00:09:50,967
SOMETHING'S GONE WRONG.
144
00:09:50,991 --> 00:09:52,668
I'VE BEEN HERE FOR
OVER TWO HOURS
145
00:09:52,692 --> 00:09:55,304
AND NO SIGN OF DR. CANYON YET.
146
00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:57,139
INVISIBLE, EH?
147
00:09:57,163 --> 00:10:00,398
ALL RIGHT, CHIEF, I'LL
KEEP MY EYES OPEN.
148
00:10:03,236 --> 00:10:04,914
WAIT A MINUTE, CHIEF.
149
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:07,149
THE DOOR JUST OPENED
AND CLOSED BY ITSELF.
150
00:10:07,173 --> 00:10:09,618
I THINK DR. CANYON JUST CAME IN,
151
00:10:09,642 --> 00:10:11,175
OR WENT OUT.
152
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:27,870
I CAN'T TALK ANYMORE,
CHIEF. CANYON'S HERE.
153
00:10:27,894 --> 00:10:30,294
AND YOU'RE RIGHT.
HE'S INVISIBLE.
154
00:10:32,598 --> 00:10:34,599
DON'T WORRY, CHIEF.
HE'S IN GOOD HANDS.
155
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:51,260
DR. CANYON.
156
00:10:51,284 --> 00:10:54,930
MAXWELL SMART, SECRET
AGENT 86 OF CONTROL.
157
00:10:54,954 --> 00:10:58,088
WE'VE GOT TO BE VERY
CAREFUL. HERE'S THE...
158
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,111
DON'T WORRY, DR. CANYON.
159
00:11:09,135 --> 00:11:11,068
IT'S WATERPROOF.
160
00:11:15,841 --> 00:11:17,786
DON'T MOVE, DR. CANYON.
161
00:11:17,810 --> 00:11:19,421
TWO KAOS AGENTS JUST CAME IN.
162
00:11:19,445 --> 00:11:21,913
WE'VE GOTTA GET OUT
OF HERE. FOLLOW ME.
163
00:11:23,483 --> 00:11:25,483
AND TRY NOT TO BE CONSPICUOUS.
164
00:11:49,476 --> 00:11:51,286
NOW THE FRONT DOOR IS BLOCKED.
165
00:11:51,310 --> 00:11:54,189
SO WE'LL HAVE TO ESCAPE THROUGH
THE WINDOW OF THE MEN'S ROOM.
166
00:11:54,213 --> 00:11:56,525
Woman's voice: I'M AFRAID
WE'LL HAVE TO THINK
167
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,749
OF ANOTHER WAY OUT, MR. SMART.
168
00:12:01,088 --> 00:12:03,021
COME IN NOW.
169
00:12:04,758 --> 00:12:07,436
ALL RIGHT, NOW I DON'T WANT
YOU TO GO NEAR ANY WINDOWS.
170
00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:09,471
DON'T OPEN THE DOOR FOR ANYBODY,
171
00:12:09,495 --> 00:12:11,707
AND ABOVE ALL, KEEP
YOUR VOICE DOWN.
172
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,843
I'M A MARRIED MAN,
AND IT'D BE PRETTY HARD
173
00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:16,712
TO EXPLAIN TO THE NEIGHBORS WHAT
A WOMAN IS DOING IN MY APARTMENT
174
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:18,914
WHILE MY WIFE IS AWAY.
HAVE YOU GOT THAT?
175
00:12:20,940 --> 00:12:23,041
SHH. WE MAY HAVE BEEN FOLLOWED.
176
00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:27,311
- WHO IS IT?
- DR. CANYON.
177
00:12:29,649 --> 00:12:31,460
I'M GOING TO BED NOW, DOCTOR.
178
00:12:31,484 --> 00:12:34,229
IF YOU NEED ANY MORE BLANKETS,
YOU'LL FIND 'EM IN THE CLOSET.
179
00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:36,198
I'LL SEE YOU IN THE MORNING.
180
00:12:36,222 --> 00:12:38,656
BETTER MAKE THAT, "I'LL
TALK TO YOU IN THE MORNING."
181
00:12:39,825 --> 00:12:41,837
AM I TIRED.
182
00:12:41,861 --> 00:12:45,808
DR. CANYON, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING ON THE SOFA?
183
00:12:45,832 --> 00:12:47,576
I WAS SLEEPING.
184
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,878
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE
UPSTAIRS IN THE BEDROOM.
185
00:12:49,902 --> 00:12:52,248
I DIDN'T WANT TO BE
ANY TROUBLE, MR. SMART.
186
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:55,051
I'LL BE FINE RIGHT
HERE ON THE SOFA.
187
00:12:55,075 --> 00:12:57,753
NONSENSE. I WON'T HEAR OF IT.
188
00:13:00,814 --> 00:13:04,093
NOW I WANT YOU TO GET
A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP.
189
00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:06,361
- WHAT'S THE MATTER?
- I'M NOT SURE.
190
00:13:06,385 --> 00:13:08,464
I FEEL DIZZY.
191
00:13:08,488 --> 00:13:11,100
I'M AFRAID THE
FORMULA IS WEARING OFF.
192
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:13,591
PERHAPS I'D BETTER...
193
00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:18,162
DOCTOR, DOCTOR!
194
00:13:33,079 --> 00:13:34,724
OH, THAT'S JUST GREAT.
195
00:13:34,748 --> 00:13:36,659
WHAT ELSE CAN HAPPEN
TO ME TODAY? WHAT ELSE?
196
00:13:36,683 --> 00:13:39,017
- WHO IS IT?
- IT'S ME, MAX.
197
00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:42,854
THAT'S WHAT ELSE.
198
00:13:56,502 --> 00:13:58,848
MAX, WHY DON'T
YOU OPEN THE DOOR?
199
00:13:58,872 --> 00:14:00,850
YES, I WILL IN A MINUTE, DEAR,
200
00:14:00,874 --> 00:14:03,141
BUT RIGHT NOW I
HAVE MY HANDS FULL.
201
00:14:05,912 --> 00:14:08,490
AREN'T YOU GONNA
OPEN THE DOOR, MAX?
202
00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:11,593
YES, DEAR, IN A MINUTE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
203
00:14:11,617 --> 00:14:13,595
MAX, I LIVE HERE.
204
00:14:13,619 --> 00:14:17,266
YES, BUT YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED
TO LIVE HERE FOR TWO MORE DAYS.
205
00:14:17,290 --> 00:14:18,868
WE GOT A BREAK ON THE CASE,
206
00:14:18,892 --> 00:14:21,137
AND I WRAPPED IT UP RIGHT
AFTER I TALKED TO YOU,
207
00:14:21,161 --> 00:14:24,628
- SO I CAUGHT A PLANE
AND HERE I AM.
- GOOD.
208
00:14:26,098 --> 00:14:28,277
OOPS.
209
00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:31,535
EXCUSE ME, DOCTOR.
210
00:14:50,356 --> 00:14:52,068
MAX!
211
00:14:52,092 --> 00:14:53,836
OH!
212
00:14:53,860 --> 00:14:56,105
I MISSED YOU SO MUCH.
213
00:14:56,129 --> 00:14:58,373
OH, IT'S SO WONDERFUL
TO BE HOME.
214
00:14:58,397 --> 00:15:00,375
LISTEN, 99, I KNOW
YOU MUST BE FAMISHED.
215
00:15:00,399 --> 00:15:02,845
WHY DON'T WE RUN DOWN TO
CHINATOWN AND GET SOME CHOP SUEY?
216
00:15:02,869 --> 00:15:05,914
- NO, MAX, I ATE
ON THE PLANE.
- ATE ON THE PLANE.
217
00:15:05,938 --> 00:15:08,284
MAX, WERE YOU
SLEEPING ON THE SOFA?
218
00:15:08,308 --> 00:15:10,219
HUH? OH, THE SOFA, YES YES.
219
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,754
AS A MATTER OF FACT, 99, I
WAS SLEEPING ON THE SOFA.
220
00:15:12,778 --> 00:15:14,857
YOU SEE, I WANTED TO
BE NEXT TO THE PHONE
221
00:15:14,881 --> 00:15:17,092
- IN CASE YOU CALLED.
- BUT THERE'S A PHONE
IN THE BEDROOM.
222
00:15:17,116 --> 00:15:19,161
A PHONE UPSTAIRS,
YES, THAT PHONE.
223
00:15:19,185 --> 00:15:21,496
WELL, I WANTED TO BE DOWN
HERE NEXT TO THIS PHONE
224
00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:24,133
BECAUSE YOU SEE, THIS
PHONE IS NEXT TO YOUR PICTURE.
225
00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:26,301
WHY DIDN'T YOU TAKE
MY PICTURE UPSTAIRS?
226
00:15:26,325 --> 00:15:29,238
YOUR PICTURE UPSTAIRS, YES,
WELL, TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, 99,
227
00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:31,907
I WAS AFRAID THAT I WOULD
DROP YOUR PICTURE AND BREAK IT.
228
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:34,643
- MAX, HOW CAN
YOU BREAK CARDBOARD?
- CARDBOARD, YES.
229
00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:36,645
THAT'S HARD TO
BREAK, I'LL TELL YOU.
230
00:15:36,669 --> 00:15:39,514
I HAVE A TREMENDOUS IDEA. WHY
DON'T WE GO DOWN TO CHINATOWN,
231
00:15:39,538 --> 00:15:42,251
AND WE'LL GET A NICE BITE TO
EAT, MAYBE SOME NICE CHOW MEIN?
232
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:45,587
- MAX, YOU ASKED ME THAT BEFORE.
- NO NO NO NO, I ASKED YOU
ABOUT CHOP SUEY.
233
00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:47,890
- I STILL ATE
ON THE PLANE.
- EGG FOO YOUNG?
234
00:15:47,914 --> 00:15:49,892
MAX, IT'S 4:00 IN THE MORNING.
235
00:15:49,916 --> 00:15:51,961
CLOSE THE DOOR
AND LET'S GO TO BED.
236
00:15:51,985 --> 00:15:55,330
LOOK, 99, LOOK,
HERE, THIS'LL BE NICE.
237
00:15:55,354 --> 00:15:58,167
YOU CAN SLEEP RIGHT HERE.
I'LL HAVE THIS FIXED IN A JIFFY,
238
00:15:58,191 --> 00:16:00,502
AND YOU'LL JUST
SLEEP LIKE A BABY.
239
00:16:00,526 --> 00:16:02,504
EVERYTHING WILL
BE JUST BEAUTIFUL.
240
00:16:02,528 --> 00:16:06,075
MAX, I'M NOT SLEEPING ON THE SOFA.
I'M SLEEPING UPSTAIRS IN OUR BED.
241
00:16:06,099 --> 00:16:09,011
YES, WELL LOOK, 99, I'VE
GOT A TREMENDOUS IDEA.
242
00:16:09,035 --> 00:16:10,646
WHY DON'T YOU FIX YOURSELF
243
00:16:10,670 --> 00:16:13,015
A NICE CUP OF HOT, WARM MILK,
244
00:16:13,039 --> 00:16:15,250
AND I'LL TAKE YOUR BAG
UPSTAIRS TO THE BEDROOM?
245
00:16:15,274 --> 00:16:17,207
GOOD IDEA, MAX.
246
00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:27,696
- WHERE AM I?
- SHH, MY WIFE IS DOWNSTAIRS.
247
00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:29,765
BUT I THOUGHT YOU SAID
SHE WAS OUT OF TOWN.
248
00:16:29,789 --> 00:16:31,300
SHE WAS, BUT SHE ISN'T.
249
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:33,402
ALL I CAN SAY IS IT'S A GOOD
THING THAT YOU'RE INVISIBLE
250
00:16:33,426 --> 00:16:36,738
BECAUSE IF MY
WIFE EVER SAW YOU...
251
00:16:36,762 --> 00:16:39,241
DR. CANYON, YOU'RE VISIBLE.
252
00:16:39,265 --> 00:16:42,511
- MAX!
- OH, HI, 99.
253
00:16:44,470 --> 00:16:47,783
NOW WAIT A MINUTE, 99. I CAN
EXPLAIN ANYTHING... I MEAN EVERYTHING.
254
00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:50,386
THERE'S NOTHING TO
EXPLAIN. IT'S PERFECTLY CLEAR.
255
00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:53,989
IT'S NOT PERFECTLY CLEAR. YOU DON'T
EVEN KNOW WHY I BROUGHT DR. CANYON HERE.
256
00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:57,360
I SUPPOSE YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME SHE'S
PART OF SOME SECRET CASE YOU'RE WORKING ON.
257
00:16:57,384 --> 00:16:59,527
- HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?
- OH, MAX, GOODBYE.
258
00:16:59,551 --> 00:17:02,431
MRS. SMART. I THINK WE
OWE HER AN EXPLANATION.
259
00:17:02,455 --> 00:17:04,266
NOW JUST A MOMENT, DR. CANYON.
260
00:17:04,290 --> 00:17:07,403
THIS IS A CODE "Z" CASE, AND I'M NOT
ALLOWED TO TELL ANYBODY ABOUT IT,
261
00:17:07,427 --> 00:17:10,172
- NOT EVEN MY WIFE.
- I AM NOT A CONTROL AGENT.
262
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:14,176
YOU SEE, MRS. SMART, YOUR HUSBAND
WAS ASSIGNED TO PROTECT ME FROM KAOS.
263
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:18,013
- AND MAY I ASK WHY?
- I INVENTED A FORMULA
FOR INVISIBILITY.
264
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:21,283
AND THAT'S THE TRUTH, 99. WHEN
I BROUGHT DR. CANYON HOME,
265
00:17:21,307 --> 00:17:24,519
I THOUGHT HE'D BE A SHORT, FAT,
BALD-HEADED, LITTLE OLD SCIENTIST.
266
00:17:24,543 --> 00:17:27,289
I NEVER DREAMED FOR ONE SINGLE
MOMENT THAT IT WOULD TURN OUT
267
00:17:27,313 --> 00:17:30,525
TO BE THIS LUSCIOUS, BEAUTIFUL,
GORGEOUS WOMAN THAT YOU SEE BEFORE YOU.
268
00:17:30,549 --> 00:17:32,695
I DON'T THINK I EXPLAINED
THAT TOO GOOD.
269
00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:35,364
- I THINK YOU EXPLAINED
IT PERFECTLY. GOODBYE.
- WAIT.
270
00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:38,801
I CAN PROVE IT. I HAVE A CAN OF
INVISIBILITY SPRAY IN MY PURSE.
271
00:17:38,825 --> 00:17:41,203
THAT'S IT. WHERE'S YOUR PURSE?
272
00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:44,606
I DON'T KNOW. IT'S INVISIBLE, AND I
CAN'T REMEMBER WHERE I PUT IT DOWN.
273
00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:46,642
IT MUST BE AROUND
HERE SOMEPLACE.
274
00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:48,832
OH! I FOUND IT.
275
00:17:51,103 --> 00:17:54,216
Canyon: THE SPRAY CAN SHOULD BE
VISIBLE BECAUSE IT'S INSIDE THE PURSE.
276
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,673
JUST REACH IN AND GET IT.
277
00:18:01,047 --> 00:18:02,958
NOW WATCH THIS, 99.
278
00:18:02,982 --> 00:18:05,227
MR. SMART, I'D
RATHER YOU WOULDN'T.
279
00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:07,562
IT'S ALL RIGHT, DOCTOR. I
JUST WANNA PROVE SOMETHING.
280
00:18:20,233 --> 00:18:22,110
MAX, YOU'RE INVISIBLE!
281
00:18:22,134 --> 00:18:24,313
YOU WERE TELLING THE TRUTH.
282
00:18:24,337 --> 00:18:27,316
- THEN YOU FORGIVE ME?
- OH, OF COURSE
I FORGIVE YOU, MAX,
283
00:18:27,340 --> 00:18:29,151
BUT HOW CAN YOU EVER FORGIVE ME?
284
00:18:29,175 --> 00:18:31,520
I MEAN, I WAS SUCH A BAD
PERSON NOT TO BELIEVE YOU
285
00:18:31,544 --> 00:18:33,477
WHEN YOU WERE
TELLING ME THE TRUTH.
286
00:18:34,980 --> 00:18:37,326
- GOODBYE, MAX.
- WHERE ARE YOU GOING NOW?
287
00:18:37,350 --> 00:18:39,762
- I'M LEAVING YOU.
- WHAT FOR?
288
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:42,753
I DON'T DESERVE YOU.
289
00:18:44,223 --> 00:18:46,535
OH, HELLO, 99. GEE,
I'M GLAD YOU'RE BACK.
290
00:18:46,559 --> 00:18:48,804
YOU COULD BE A REAL
HELP ON THIS ASSIGNMENT.
291
00:18:48,828 --> 00:18:50,905
NOW I'LL FILL YOU
IN ON THE DETAILS.
292
00:18:50,929 --> 00:18:52,708
- I KNOW ALL ABOUT IT.
- Chief: WHO TOLD YOU?
293
00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:53,775
- SHE DID.
- WHO'S SHE?
294
00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:56,278
- DR. CANYON.
- DR. CANYON'S A WOMAN?
295
00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:57,913
- Max: THAT'S RIGHT.
- WHO'S THAT?
296
00:18:57,937 --> 00:19:00,582
- IT'S ME, CHIEF. I'M INVISIBLE.
- MAX?
297
00:19:00,606 --> 00:19:03,518
THAT'S WONDERFUL. THE
FORMULA REALLY WORKS.
298
00:19:03,542 --> 00:19:05,287
- WHAT'S UP, CHIEF?
- WE'VE JUST LEARNED
299
00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:08,357
THAT KAOS IS GOING TO TAKE THE GINSBURG
PAPERS OUT OF THE COUNTRY TONIGHT.
300
00:19:08,381 --> 00:19:10,825
KAOS HAS THE GINSBURG PAPERS?
301
00:19:10,849 --> 00:19:13,061
UNFORTUNATELY FOR
THE CIVILIZED WORLD, YES.
302
00:19:13,085 --> 00:19:15,964
NOW WE HAVE EXACTLY ONE HOUR
TO PENETRATE KAOS HEADQUARTERS
303
00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:18,867
AND TAKE OUT THOSE PAPERS.
DOCTOR, MAKE YOURSELF INVISIBLE.
304
00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:21,036
- I CAN'T.
- WHY NOT?
305
00:19:21,060 --> 00:19:23,105
MR. SMART USED
UP ALL THE FORMULA.
306
00:19:23,129 --> 00:19:25,073
- CAN'T YOU
MAKE SOME MORE?
- YES, I CAN,
307
00:19:25,097 --> 00:19:28,510
- BUT IT'LL TAKE ME FIVE HOURS.
- WE DON'T HAVE THAT MUCH TIME.
308
00:19:28,534 --> 00:19:30,679
- MAX, IT'S UP TO YOU.
- I'LL TRY, CHIEF.
309
00:19:30,703 --> 00:19:34,082
BUT I DOUBT IF I COULD MAKE THE
FORMULA ANY FASTER THAN DR. CANYON.
310
00:19:34,106 --> 00:19:36,118
I DON'T MEAN THAT, MAX.
311
00:19:36,142 --> 00:19:38,320
I MEAN NOW THAT
YOU'RE ALREADY INVISIBLE,
312
00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:41,290
YOU'LL HAVE TO PENETRATE KAOS
HEADQUARTERS AND TAKE OUT THOSE PAPERS.
313
00:19:41,314 --> 00:19:44,793
IT'LL BE A PUSHOVER, CHIEF. I'LL BE ABLE
TO MOVE AROUND KAOS HEADQUARTERS
314
00:19:44,817 --> 00:19:47,329
JUST LIKE I'M MOVING AROUND
IN THIS ROOM RIGHT NOW.
315
00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:50,899
I WON'T EVEN HAVE TO
LOOK OUT FOR THE GUARDS.
316
00:19:50,923 --> 00:19:54,670
BUT I'LL HAVE TO WATCH
OUT FOR THE LAMPS.
317
00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:57,305
HEY, HOW MUCH LONGER?
318
00:19:57,329 --> 00:20:00,642
ANOTHER 25 MINUTES. THEN WE CAN STOP
WORRYING ABOUT THE GINSBURG PAPERS.
319
00:20:00,666 --> 00:20:02,845
THEN LET'S GRAB A CUP OF COFFEE.
320
00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:05,513
- YOU KNOW WE CAN'T
LEAVE THIS ROOM.
- WHAT COULD HAPPEN?
321
00:20:05,537 --> 00:20:08,183
THERE'S A GUARD ON EVERY
FLOOR. DOUBLE SECURITY.
322
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:11,327
IT WOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE
FOR ANYBODY TO GET IN HERE.
323
00:20:12,544 --> 00:20:14,522
WHAT WAS THAT?
324
00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:16,625
THE LAMP FELL OVER.
325
00:20:16,649 --> 00:20:19,327
LAMPS JUST DON'T FALL OVER.
326
00:20:19,351 --> 00:20:21,797
THIS ONE DID.
327
00:20:21,821 --> 00:20:25,768
UGH, WILL YOU LOOK AT
THE DUST ON THAT LAMP?
328
00:20:29,395 --> 00:20:32,941
- GESUNDHEIT.
- WHAT DID YOU SAY?
329
00:20:32,965 --> 00:20:35,844
- I SAID GESUNDHEIT.
- OH.
330
00:20:35,868 --> 00:20:38,149
WHAT FOR? I DIDN'T SNEEZE.
331
00:20:39,939 --> 00:20:42,785
WELL, SOMEONE DID.
332
00:20:42,809 --> 00:20:44,741
THERE'S SOMEONE IN THIS ROOM.
333
00:20:46,645 --> 00:20:49,758
HEY, RELAX. WE'VE BEEN GUARDING
THESE PAPERS SO LONG YOU'RE BEGINNING
334
00:20:49,782 --> 00:20:52,460
- TO IMAGINE THINGS.
- JUST THE SAME, WE CAN'T
TAKE ANY CHANCES.
335
00:20:52,484 --> 00:20:55,396
YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF
THOSE PAPERS FELL INTO THE WRONG HANDS?
336
00:20:55,420 --> 00:20:57,632
GENTLEMEN, THOSE PAPERS ARE
337
00:20:57,656 --> 00:20:59,668
IN THE WRONG HANDS.
338
00:20:59,692 --> 00:21:02,537
YOU'RE RIGHT. THERE IS
SOMEONE IN THIS ROOM.
339
00:21:02,561 --> 00:21:06,008
THAT'S RIGHT. MAXWELL
SMART, AGENT 86.
340
00:21:06,032 --> 00:21:07,642
AND YOU'RE POWERLESS
341
00:21:07,666 --> 00:21:10,679
BECAUSE I HAPPEN
TO BE INVISIBLE.
342
00:21:10,703 --> 00:21:13,849
SO, GENTLEMEN, GO AHEAD
AND FIRE YOUR GUNS IF YOU WISH.
343
00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:17,586
IT WILL DO YOU NO GOOD BECAUSE
YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM.
344
00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:20,355
YOU SEE, ONE MINUTE
I MIGHT BE HERE.
345
00:21:20,379 --> 00:21:22,357
AND THEN THE NEXT MINUTE,
346
00:21:22,381 --> 00:21:24,759
I MIGHT BE OVER HERE.
347
00:21:24,783 --> 00:21:26,661
AND OF COURSE, A MINUTE LATER,
348
00:21:26,685 --> 00:21:29,364
I MIGHT BE HERE.
349
00:21:29,388 --> 00:21:32,967
IT ALL REMINDS ME OF A
LITTLE POEM I ONCE HEARD.
350
00:21:32,991 --> 00:21:34,969
"THEY SEEK HIM HERE.
351
00:21:34,993 --> 00:21:37,171
THEY SEEK HIM THERE.
352
00:21:37,195 --> 00:21:40,375
THOSE FRENCHIES
SEEK HIM EVERYWHERE.
353
00:21:40,399 --> 00:21:43,845
IS HE IN HEAVEN,
OR IS HE IN HELL?
354
00:21:43,869 --> 00:21:47,015
HA HA HA HA! THAT
DARNED ELUSIVE...
355
00:21:47,039 --> 00:21:48,305
PIMPERNEL."
356
00:21:50,543 --> 00:21:52,888
SO YOU SEE, GENTLEMEN,
357
00:21:52,912 --> 00:21:54,956
THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER IS
358
00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:56,958
THAT I CAN TAKE THE
GINSBURG PAPERS
359
00:21:56,982 --> 00:21:59,027
ANYTIME I LIKE.
360
00:21:59,051 --> 00:22:02,997
AND THERE IS NOTHING
YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME.
361
00:22:03,021 --> 00:22:05,541
GET YOUR FOOT OFF THE CHAIR.
362
00:22:08,827 --> 00:22:10,805
DON'T TELL ME I'M NOT INVISIBLE.
363
00:22:10,829 --> 00:22:12,407
YOU'RE NOT INVISIBLE.
364
00:22:12,431 --> 00:22:14,943
I ASKED HIM NOT TO TELL ME THAT.
365
00:22:14,967 --> 00:22:18,446
DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOING
TO HAPPEN TO YOU, SMART?
366
00:22:18,470 --> 00:22:21,884
- YOU'RE GONNA
HAVE AN ACCIDENT.
- ONE 15 FLOORS UP.
367
00:22:21,908 --> 00:22:23,886
YOU'RE GOING TO FALL
OUT OF THAT WINDOW,
368
00:22:23,910 --> 00:22:25,988
AND IT'S GOING TO
LOOK LIKE A SUICIDE.
369
00:22:26,012 --> 00:22:28,690
WRONG, GENTLEMEN,
BECAUSE THERE IS NO WAY
370
00:22:28,714 --> 00:22:31,293
IN THIS WORLD THAT YOU CAN
MAKE ME JUMP OUT THAT WINDOW.
371
00:22:31,317 --> 00:22:34,017
THEREFORE, YOUR
PLAN WILL NOT WORK.
372
00:22:35,588 --> 00:22:38,800
BUT IT'S CERTAINLY WORTH A TRY.
373
00:22:38,824 --> 00:22:41,136
GET OUT ON THAT LEDGE.
374
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:43,305
NOW JUST A MOMENT, GENTLEMEN.
375
00:22:43,329 --> 00:22:46,575
SURELY YOU DON'T THINK I WOULD BE
STUPID ENOUGH TO COME HERE BY MYSELF.
376
00:22:46,599 --> 00:22:48,811
- YES, WE DO.
- THAT'S WHERE
YOU'RE WRONG.
377
00:22:48,835 --> 00:22:52,114
BECAUSE AT THIS VERY MOMENT,
CONTROL AGENT FREDERICKS
378
00:22:52,138 --> 00:22:53,515
IS STANDING RIGHT BEHIND YOU.
379
00:22:53,539 --> 00:22:55,617
YOU DON'T THINK
WE'RE STUPID ENOUGH
380
00:22:55,641 --> 00:22:57,619
TO FALL FOR THAT TRICK, DO YOU?
381
00:22:57,643 --> 00:22:59,621
NOW GET OUT ON THAT LEDGE.
382
00:22:59,645 --> 00:23:01,745
ALL RIGHT, FREDERICKS.
LET 'EM HAVE IT.
383
00:23:02,882 --> 00:23:05,660
MOORPARK, IS THERE
SOMEONE BEHIND ME?
384
00:23:05,684 --> 00:23:07,495
NO.
385
00:23:07,519 --> 00:23:10,520
THAT'S FUNNY. SOMEONE JUST
TAPPED ME ON THE SHOULDER.
386
00:23:15,161 --> 00:23:17,872
GOOD WORK, FREDERICKS.
387
00:23:17,896 --> 00:23:20,108
FREDERICKS?
388
00:23:20,132 --> 00:23:23,345
I DON'T KNOW ANYBODY
NAMED FREDERICKS.
389
00:23:23,369 --> 00:23:25,614
BOY, AM I GLAD DR. CANYON
SHOWED UP WHEN SHE DID.
390
00:23:25,638 --> 00:23:28,016
FORTUNATELY, WITH THE
HELP OF THE BOYS IN THE LAB,
391
00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:30,118
SHE MADE THE FORMULA
IN LESS THAN AN HOUR.
392
00:23:30,142 --> 00:23:32,621
- LUCKY BREAK FOR ME.
- LUCKY BREAK FOR THE WORLD.
393
00:23:32,645 --> 00:23:35,270
WE SAVED THE GINSBURG
PAPERS. WHERE ARE THEY, MAX?
394
00:23:35,294 --> 00:23:36,313
RIGHT HERE, CHIEF.
395
00:23:37,416 --> 00:23:39,795
WAIT A MINUTE. THESE
ARE THE WRONG PAPERS.
396
00:23:39,819 --> 00:23:42,798
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN, MAX?
- THESE ARE THE GOTTLIEB PAPERS.
397
00:23:42,822 --> 00:23:44,800
NO, MAX, THOSE ARE
THE GINSBURG PAPERS.
398
00:23:44,824 --> 00:23:46,802
BUT IT SAYS RIGHT
THERE, "GOTTLIEB."
399
00:23:46,826 --> 00:23:49,107
GINSBURG CHANGED HIS NAME.
32563
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