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1
00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:26,436
COULD YOU PASS THIS TO
THE YOUNG LADY, PLEASE?
2
00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:27,926
THANK YOU.
3
00:00:29,230 --> 00:00:30,762
THANK YOU.
4
00:00:43,744 --> 00:00:45,977
OH, LET ME HELP YOU.
5
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:20,590
86, WE'LL BE MAKING AN
UNSCHEDULED LANDING
6
00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:22,992
IN BOISE, IDAHO, IN
EXACTLY FIVE MINUTES.
7
00:01:23,016 --> 00:01:26,329
PLUG INTO PHONE JACK #2, INSTRUCTIONS
ARE COMING THROUGH FROM HEADQUARTERS.
8
00:01:26,353 --> 00:01:28,353
- WHERE ARE THE EARPHONES?
- IN THERE.
9
00:01:39,833 --> 00:01:41,867
EXCUSE ME.
10
00:01:54,514 --> 00:01:56,593
Good morning. McMillann speaking
11
00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:59,062
You're about to
land in Boise, Idaho.
12
00:01:59,086 --> 00:02:01,765
From there a car will
take you to Twin Falls.
13
00:02:01,789 --> 00:02:04,434
MAX, THAT'S WHERE
WE'RE GOING, TWIN FALLS.
14
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:06,569
- MY MOTHER
LIVES NEAR THERE.
- OH REALLY?
15
00:02:06,593 --> 00:02:08,905
IF YOU GET A CHANCE, YOU
SHOULD DROP IN AND SEE HER, 99.
16
00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:11,507
WELL, YOU TOO. SHE'D LOVE TO
MEET HER FUTURE SON-IN-LAW.
17
00:02:11,531 --> 00:02:14,744
For several months now, the
CIA has tried without success
18
00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:17,113
to make a breakthrough
on case 1173
19
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,982
known as Operation Starch.
20
00:02:19,006 --> 00:02:21,184
Two hours ago, the
President of the United States
21
00:02:21,208 --> 00:02:23,553
ordered that this case now
be turned over to CONTROL.
22
00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:26,790
Chief, you may now bring
Agents 86 and 99 up to date
23
00:02:26,814 --> 00:02:29,092
on what you already know
about Operation Starch.
24
00:02:29,116 --> 00:02:32,617
And now stay tuned for
the CIA sports and weather.
25
00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:35,932
WHAT IS OPERATION STARCH, CHIEF?
26
00:02:35,956 --> 00:02:38,434
LET'S GO UP FRONT WHERE
WE CAN TALK MORE PRIVATELY.
27
00:02:38,458 --> 00:02:40,637
ALL RIGHT, CHIEF, WHAT IS
THIS OPERATION STARCH?
28
00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:44,107
OPERATION STARCH IS PROBABLY
THE MOST DIABOLICAL SCHEME
29
00:02:44,131 --> 00:02:45,942
EVER DEVISED BY KAOS.
30
00:02:45,966 --> 00:02:48,411
MAX, WILL YOU PUT DOWN
THAT "PEANUTS" BOOK?
31
00:02:48,435 --> 00:02:51,614
OH, SORRY ABOUT THAT, CHIEF.
BUT THIS IS REALLY A FUNNY PART
32
00:02:51,638 --> 00:02:53,349
WHERE SNOOPY IS FOLLOWING
THE RED BARON DOWN...
33
00:02:53,373 --> 00:02:56,319
I'M NOT INTERESTED IN
SNOOPY OR THE RED BARON.
34
00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:58,120
OH, YOU'RE A CHARLIE BROWN MAN?
35
00:02:58,144 --> 00:02:59,856
I'M A FRUSTRATED MAN.
36
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:03,726
KAOS HAS DESTROYED ALMOST
90% OF AMERICA'S POTATO CROP.
37
00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:05,362
OH, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT, CHIEF.
38
00:03:05,386 --> 00:03:07,831
IT'S BEEN OUR GOVERNMENT'S
MOST CLOSELY-GUARDED SECRET.
39
00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:11,033
WELL, I CAN SEE WHY.
AMERICANS LOVE POTATOES.
40
00:03:11,057 --> 00:03:13,035
THAT'S RIGHT, CHIEF.
41
00:03:13,059 --> 00:03:15,805
POTATOES ARE AS AMERICAN
AS PIZZAS OR TACOS.
42
00:03:15,829 --> 00:03:18,908
- CHIEF, I JUST HAD
A POTATO LAST NIGHT.
- NO, YOU DIDN'T, 99,
43
00:03:18,932 --> 00:03:20,910
THAT WAS ARTIFICIAL.
MADE SCIENTIFICALLY
44
00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:23,213
FROM EDIBLE,
FLAVORED FOAM RUBBER.
45
00:03:23,237 --> 00:03:25,882
- A FOAM RUBBER POTATO?
- THAT'S RIGHT, 99.
46
00:03:25,906 --> 00:03:27,717
WELL, NOW THAT
CERTAINLY IS A TRIBUTE
47
00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:29,219
TO OUR SCIENTISTS, CHIEF.
48
00:03:29,243 --> 00:03:30,753
I MEAN, THE RUSSIANS
MAY BE WAY AHEAD OF US
49
00:03:30,777 --> 00:03:33,690
IN THE MOON PROGRAM, BUT WE'RE
AHEAD OF THEM IN RUBBER FOOD.
50
00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:37,393
KAOS IS DEMANDING THAT
WE PAY THEM $10 BILLION
51
00:03:37,417 --> 00:03:39,328
OR THEY'LL DESTROY
ALL OF OUR CROPS.
52
00:03:39,352 --> 00:03:42,621
- HOW ARE THEY GONNA DO THAT?
- THAT, 99, IS OUR ASSIGNMENT.
53
00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:49,361
CHIEF, 99, IT'S THE RED BARON!
54
00:03:53,167 --> 00:03:54,877
MAX, YOU'VE BEEN SPENDING
SO MUCH OF YOUR TIME
55
00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:57,180
READING "PEANUTS" BOOK,
YOU'RE STARTING TO SEE THINGS!
56
00:03:57,204 --> 00:03:59,983
- MAYBE IT'S SOMETHING YOU ATE.
- BUT IT COULDN'T BE, 99,
57
00:04:00,007 --> 00:04:02,418
ALL I HAD TODAY WAS AN
ORDER OF HAM AND EGGS
58
00:04:02,442 --> 00:04:05,177
AND A SIDE ORDER OF
FRENCH-FRIED FOAM RUBBER.
59
00:05:14,781 --> 00:05:17,393
DR. LEVIATHAN, I'M
THE CHIEF OF CONTROL
60
00:05:17,417 --> 00:05:20,296
AND THIS IS AGENT
86 AND AGENT 99.
61
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,331
- HOW DO YOU DO?
- HELLO.
62
00:05:22,355 --> 00:05:24,400
BOY, 99, IT'S A GOOD THING
HE'S NOT WITH CONTROL.
63
00:05:24,424 --> 00:05:27,570
- WHAT A NUMBER HE'D HAVE.
- WE WERE TOLD TO CONTACT YOU.
64
00:05:27,594 --> 00:05:30,840
OH, FINE. WE'LL HAVE
TO TALK WHILE I WORK.
65
00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:33,931
I'M THE FOOD ANALYST AND I
HAVE TO TASTE ALL OF THIS.
66
00:05:35,602 --> 00:05:38,748
- AM I SITTING?
- YES.
67
00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:41,184
OH GOOD. SOMETIMES
IT'S HARD TO TELL.
68
00:05:41,208 --> 00:05:43,987
DOCTOR, COULD WE SEE ONE OF
THE POTATOES THAT WAS DESTROYED?
69
00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:45,776
OH, CERTAINLY.
70
00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:50,093
- LOOKS ALL RIGHT TO ME.
- Max: ME TOO.
71
00:05:50,117 --> 00:05:51,782
WATCH.
72
00:05:53,987 --> 00:05:56,499
IT'S AMAZING. DO YOU HAVE
ANY IDEA HOW IT WAS DONE?
73
00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:58,368
Dr. Leviathan: WE FIRST THOUGHT
THAT SOME SORT OF BUG
74
00:05:58,392 --> 00:06:01,338
HAD PENETRATED THE POTATO
JACKET AND EATEN THE INSIDE.
75
00:06:01,362 --> 00:06:04,173
WELL, THAT'S IT, 99. THE
CASE IS PRACTICALLY SOLVED.
76
00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:06,710
NOW ALL WE HAVE TO
DO IS TO FIND A FAT BUG.
77
00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:08,511
HOWEVER, WE DROPPED THAT THEORY.
78
00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:10,446
WE'VE DROPPED THAT THEORY, 99.
79
00:06:10,470 --> 00:06:13,248
WE NOW THINK THAT SOME
SORT OF NEW POISON WAS USED.
80
00:06:13,272 --> 00:06:16,018
SOMETHING THAT COULD
PERMEATE THE POTATO SHELL
81
00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:18,388
- AND DESTROY THE PULP.
- BUT HOW WOULD THAT WORK?
82
00:06:18,412 --> 00:06:20,022
- WE DON'T KNOW.
- WE MUST FIND OUT.
83
00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:22,057
WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT
KAOS WILL HIT NEXT.
84
00:06:22,081 --> 00:06:23,959
IT COULD BE ANOTHER
VEGETABLE. OR FRUIT.
85
00:06:23,983 --> 00:06:26,129
OR EVEN MEAT, CHIEF. WHO KNOWS?
86
00:06:26,153 --> 00:06:29,332
AT THE NEXT ROUNDUP, WE
MIGHT FIND A LOT OF EMPTY COWS.
87
00:06:29,356 --> 00:06:32,034
- WOULD YOU LIKE SOME SUGAR?
- OH, NO, THAT'S SACCHARIN.
88
00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:34,170
I'M TRYING TO
WATCH THE CALORIES.
89
00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:37,740
DOCTOR, IS THERE ANY AREA WHERE THE
POTATOES HAVEN'T BEEN DESTROYED YET?
90
00:06:37,764 --> 00:06:39,876
ONLY ONE... 40 MILES
NORTH OF HERE.
91
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:41,510
I WANT YOU TWO TO
COVER THAT AREA.
92
00:06:41,534 --> 00:06:43,579
OH, CHIEF, COULD WE
STOP OFF ON THE WAY?
93
00:06:43,603 --> 00:06:46,282
MY MOTHER LIVES NEAR THERE. I
KNOW SHE'D LOVE TO MEET MAX.
94
00:06:46,306 --> 00:06:48,317
WELL, 99, LOOKS
LIKE SHE'S NOT HOME.
95
00:06:48,341 --> 00:06:51,120
MAX, YOU HAVEN'T EVEN
RUNG THE DOORBELL YET.
96
00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:52,955
OH.
97
00:06:52,979 --> 00:06:56,548
DON'T BE SO NERVOUS, MAX.
SHE'S GOING TO LOVE YOU.
98
00:06:57,917 --> 00:07:00,196
I TOLD YOU, 99, SHE'S NOT HOME.
99
00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:03,866
- DARLING!
- MOTHER!
100
00:07:03,890 --> 00:07:06,725
COME IN. COME IN
AND CLOSE THE DOOR.
101
00:07:11,665 --> 00:07:15,445
HE'S A LITTLE BIT NERVOUS
ABOUT MEETING YOU, MOTHER.
102
00:07:15,469 --> 00:07:17,502
ISN'T THAT CUTE?
103
00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:20,038
COME ON, MAX.
104
00:07:27,547 --> 00:07:29,525
MAX, THIS IS MOTHER.
105
00:07:29,549 --> 00:07:32,562
MOTHER, THIS IS MAXWELL SMART.
106
00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:34,129
HOW DO YOU DO?
107
00:07:34,153 --> 00:07:36,699
ANY FRIEND OF MY DAUGHTER'S
IS A SON-IN-LAW OF MINE.
108
00:07:36,723 --> 00:07:39,135
- COME IN.
- THANK YOU, MRS... UH...
109
00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:41,003
- MOTHER.
- MRS. MOTHER.
110
00:07:41,027 --> 00:07:43,372
"MRS. MOTHER." ISN'T THAT CUTE?
111
00:07:43,396 --> 00:07:45,174
MOTHER, YOU JUST CALL MAX "MAX"
112
00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:47,209
AND, MAX, YOU CALL
MOTHER "MOTHER."
113
00:07:47,233 --> 00:07:49,645
- ALL RIGHT, 99.
- "99"?
114
00:07:49,669 --> 00:07:53,382
OH, UH, MAX AND I HAVE
PET NAMES FOR EACH OTHER.
115
00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:55,384
SOMETIMES HE CALLS ME "99,"
116
00:07:55,408 --> 00:07:58,353
SOMETIMES I CALL HIM "86."
117
00:07:58,377 --> 00:08:00,356
ISN'T THAT CUTE?
118
00:08:00,380 --> 00:08:02,791
YOU CAN CALL ME
"38," IF IT ISN'T TAKEN.
119
00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:04,828
- OH.
- NO NO NO, IT ISN'T.
120
00:08:04,852 --> 00:08:07,130
WELL...
121
00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:10,666
- TELL ME ABOUT YOUR TRIP.
- THIS CERTAINLY IS
A NICE PLACE.
122
00:08:10,690 --> 00:08:14,037
WOULD YOU LIKE TO
HAVE SOME COFFEE, 18?
123
00:08:14,061 --> 00:08:16,306
NO THANK YOU, AND
THE NUMBER'S 86.
124
00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:19,075
86. I NEVER HAD A GOOD
HEAD FOR NUMBERS.
125
00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:21,644
94 HAS TOLD ME SO
MUCH ABOUT YOU.
126
00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:24,314
- IT'S 99.
- OF COURSE.
127
00:08:24,338 --> 00:08:26,316
WHAT MUST YOU THINK OF ME...
128
00:08:26,340 --> 00:08:28,451
A MOTHER WHO CAN'T REMEMBER
HER OWN DAUGHTER'S NUMBER.
129
00:08:28,475 --> 00:08:30,719
SO YOU'RE IN THE
GREETING CARD BUSINESS?
130
00:08:30,743 --> 00:08:32,922
- HUH?
- YES, I WROTE TO MOTHER
131
00:08:32,946 --> 00:08:35,458
AND TOLD HER THAT WE BOTH WORK
AT THE SAME GREETING CARD COMPANY
132
00:08:35,482 --> 00:08:37,893
OH, YES YES,
THAT... THAT'S RIGHT.
133
00:08:37,917 --> 00:08:41,697
I THINK PEOPLE WHO WRITE
GREETING CARDS ARE SO TALENTED.
134
00:08:41,721 --> 00:08:43,465
RECITE ONE OF YOUR CARDS FOR ME.
135
00:08:43,489 --> 00:08:46,869
HUH? ONE OF MY CARDS, YES YES.
136
00:08:46,893 --> 00:08:48,638
UH, ONE OF MY CARDS.
137
00:08:48,662 --> 00:08:50,606
UH, FOR WHAT OCCASION
WOULD YOU LIKE IT?
138
00:08:50,630 --> 00:08:53,409
- I MEAN
FOR WHAT HOLIDAY?
- OH, LET ME SEE.
139
00:08:53,433 --> 00:08:55,177
EASTER.
140
00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:57,547
EASTER, YES, THAT...
THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
141
00:08:57,571 --> 00:09:00,049
EASTER.
142
00:09:00,073 --> 00:09:02,819
OH! HERE WE GO. UH...
143
00:09:02,843 --> 00:09:05,454
HERE COMES PETER COTTONTAIL
144
00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:07,523
HOPPING DOWN THE BUNNY TRAIL,
145
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,492
- HIPPITY HOPPITY.
- HOPPITY HIPPITY.
146
00:09:09,516 --> 00:09:10,993
HOPPITY HIPPITY.
147
00:09:11,017 --> 00:09:13,930
BRINGING TO EVERY
LITTLE GIRL AND BOY
148
00:09:13,954 --> 00:09:16,232
LOTS OF BASKETS OF EASTER JOY
149
00:09:16,256 --> 00:09:19,368
TO MAKE THEIR
EASTER BRIGHT AND GAY.
150
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:21,826
NOW DO "RUDOLPH THE
RED-NOSED REINDEER."
151
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:25,675
MOTHER, MAX IS VERY
MODEST ABOUT HIS WORK.
152
00:09:25,699 --> 00:09:27,176
OH, I'M SORRY.
153
00:09:30,704 --> 00:09:32,670
YOUR SHOE IS RINGING.
154
00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:39,988
MOTHER, MAX MUST BE
ABSOLUTELY FAMISHED.
155
00:09:40,012 --> 00:09:42,091
- DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING
IN THE KITCHEN?
- YES, DEAR.
156
00:09:42,115 --> 00:09:44,260
I'VE GOT SOME HORS D'OEUVRES
ALL READY TO BE SERVED.
157
00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:46,284
GREAT, I'LL HELP YOU.
158
00:09:55,662 --> 00:09:58,029
HELLO, CHIEF. MAX HERE.
159
00:09:59,499 --> 00:10:02,678
CHECK. UH-HUH.
160
00:10:02,702 --> 00:10:04,814
YEAH.
161
00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:07,917
NO, CHIEF, I HAVEN'T HAD A CHANCE
TO CHECK OUT THE POTATOES.
162
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:09,986
LOOK, I CAN'T TALK ANYMORE.
163
00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:12,288
I'LL CHECK THEM OUT AND
THEN I'LL GET BACK TO YOU.
164
00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:14,590
ALL RIGHT, CHIEF? BYE, CHIEF.
165
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:17,882
- WHERE'S MAX?
- BEHIND THE COUCH
TALKING TO HIS SHOE.
166
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,430
OH, HERE HE IS.
167
00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:22,331
DID YOU HAVE A NICE
CHAT WITH YOUR SHOE?
168
00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:24,133
YES, WELL, I CAN
EXPLAIN THAT, MOTHER.
169
00:10:24,157 --> 00:10:27,036
OH, DON'T BOTHER. MY HUSBAND USED
TO ALWAYS TALK TO HIS SUSPENDERS.
170
00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:30,673
- HE DID?
- SOMETIMES HE TALKED
TO HIS BELT.
171
00:10:30,697 --> 00:10:33,543
HE WAS A VERY STRANGE
MAN, BUT A GOOD PROVIDER.
172
00:10:33,567 --> 00:10:35,866
MAX, WHY DON'T YOU HAVE
SOME HORS D'OEUVRES?
173
00:10:41,207 --> 00:10:42,940
99, COME HERE, QUICK.
174
00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:52,495
- Max: IT'S THE RED BARON!
- OH, HE'S NOT THE RED BARON.
175
00:10:52,519 --> 00:10:55,697
THAT'S MR. SMITH. HE BOUGHT THE SPREAD
ACROSS THE WAY ABOUT A MONTH AGO.
176
00:10:55,721 --> 00:10:58,267
- HE'S A GENTLEMAN FARMER.
- DRESSED LIKE THAT?
177
00:10:58,291 --> 00:10:59,835
I FIGURED HE WAS
A WEEKEND HIPPIE.
178
00:10:59,859 --> 00:11:01,337
COME, HAVE SOME HORS D'OEUVRES.
179
00:11:01,361 --> 00:11:04,807
I'M SORRY, MOTHER, BUT 99
AND I HAVE TO GO FOR A WALK.
180
00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:07,276
- NOW?
- MOTHER, I KNOW THIS
IS GOING TO BE HARD
181
00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:09,645
FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND,
BUT THIS IS AN EMERGENCY.
182
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,648
THE ENTIRE FATE OF
OUR NATION IS AT STAKE.
183
00:11:11,672 --> 00:11:13,582
DARLING, I UNDERSTAND PERFECTLY,
184
00:11:13,606 --> 00:11:15,606
BUT COULDN'T IT WAIT
TILL AFTER LUNCH?
185
00:11:19,513 --> 00:11:22,347
SLOW DOWN, 99, YOU MIGHT TRIP!
186
00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:32,735
COME ON, 99, LET'S GET
OVER BY THAT HAYSTACK.
187
00:11:32,759 --> 00:11:35,104
WE CAN PROBABLY GET A BETTER
VIEW OF SMITH'S HOUSE FROM THERE.
188
00:11:35,128 --> 00:11:36,827
RIGHT, MAX.
189
00:11:48,975 --> 00:11:50,786
I'D BETTER CLIMB TO THE
TOP AND TAKE A LOOK, 99.
190
00:11:50,810 --> 00:11:53,690
MAX, YOU CAN'T CLIMB A
HAYSTACK. THERE'S NO SUPPORT.
191
00:11:53,714 --> 00:11:56,392
YOU CAN IF IT'S FIRMLY STACKED.
192
00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:58,461
I'LL CHECK IT OUT. AH!
193
00:11:58,485 --> 00:12:00,930
- WHAT HAPPENED?
- A NEEDLE.
194
00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:03,232
MAX, I WAS RAISED IN THE COUNTRY
195
00:12:03,256 --> 00:12:06,068
AND I'M TELLING YOU YOU
CANNOT CLIMB A HAYSTACK.
196
00:12:06,092 --> 00:12:08,303
AND I WAS RAISED
IN THE CITY, 99,
197
00:12:08,327 --> 00:12:10,339
AND I SAY THAT
CLIMBING THE HAYSTACK
198
00:12:10,363 --> 00:12:12,908
IS THE SAME THING AS
CLIMBING A WIRE FENCE...
199
00:12:12,932 --> 00:12:15,399
THE BIG SECRET IS IN
GETTING A RUNNING START.
200
00:12:28,181 --> 00:12:31,760
- WHAT DO WE DO NOW?
- WE FIND A WIRE FENCE
AND CLIMB IT.
201
00:12:31,784 --> 00:12:34,930
99, I LOST MY CUFFLINK.
202
00:12:34,954 --> 00:12:37,474
- OH MAX.
- YOU LOOK OVER THERE,
I'LL LOOK HERE.
203
00:12:41,694 --> 00:12:44,929
I FOUND IT. IT WAS
RIGHT ON THE WING.
204
00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:48,144
"ON THE WING"?
205
00:12:48,168 --> 00:12:50,813
MAX, THERE'S AN
AIRPLANE IN HERE!
206
00:12:50,837 --> 00:12:54,751
OF COURSE! THE OLD
AIRPLANE-IN-A-HAYSTACK TRICK!
207
00:12:54,775 --> 00:12:57,386
- I'D BETTER CALL
THE CHIEF, 99.
- RIGHT, MAX.
208
00:12:57,410 --> 00:12:59,076
SMART!
209
00:13:00,646 --> 00:13:03,458
- IT'S MR. SMITH!
- IT'S THE RED BARON!
210
00:13:03,482 --> 00:13:05,460
Both: IT'S SIEGFRIED!
211
00:13:05,484 --> 00:13:08,296
YOU BET YOUR SWEET
SHOE PHONE IT'S SIEGFRIED.
212
00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:12,168
- WE MEET AGAIN.
- SO, SIEGFRIED,
213
00:13:12,192 --> 00:13:15,237
YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S
RESPONSIBLE FOR TRYING TO DESTROY
214
00:13:15,261 --> 00:13:17,406
- THE POTATO CROP.
- EXACTLY.
215
00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:20,009
BUT THAT KNOWLEDGE
WILL DO YOU NO GOOD.
216
00:13:20,033 --> 00:13:22,544
YOU SEE, I'M GOING
TO SHOOT YOU BOTH,
217
00:13:22,568 --> 00:13:25,080
PUSH YOU IN FRONT OF
THE SPINNING PROPELLERS
218
00:13:25,104 --> 00:13:28,851
UND DROP YOU FROM 18,000 FEET!
219
00:13:28,875 --> 00:13:31,687
THIS IS THE LAST TIME
WE'LL MEET, SMART!
220
00:13:31,711 --> 00:13:34,578
YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT
COMING TO THE WEDDING?
221
00:13:39,719 --> 00:13:43,599
ALL RIGHT, SMART, I HAVE
SOME BAD NEWS FOR YOU.
222
00:13:43,623 --> 00:13:47,202
YOUR GOVERNMENT HAS
REFUSED TO PAY US THE $10 BILLION
223
00:13:47,226 --> 00:13:50,072
WE DEMANDED FOR NOT
DESTROYING THE REST OF THE CROPS.
224
00:13:50,096 --> 00:13:52,975
NOW I HAVE TO KILL YOU.
225
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:55,944
KILL THEM, SIEGFRIED.
LET ME LET THEM HAVE IT!
226
00:13:55,968 --> 00:14:01,150
UH, STARKER, THIS
IS KAOS. WE DON'T...
227
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:03,652
HERE.
228
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:06,889
NOW, IT IS MOST IMPORTANT
THAT YOU UNDERSTAND SOMETHING
229
00:14:06,913 --> 00:14:08,779
THAT I WANT TO...
230
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:13,396
BUT BEFORE YOU DIE, SMART...
231
00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:15,597
AND YOU TOO, COOKIE...
232
00:14:15,621 --> 00:14:17,600
YOU WILL SEE HOW
THE GENIUS OF KAOS
233
00:14:17,624 --> 00:14:21,559
HAS EXTERMINATED VIRTUALLY
ALL OF YOUR POTATO CROP.
234
00:14:28,668 --> 00:14:31,535
A CROP-DUSTING PLANE.
235
00:14:32,739 --> 00:14:36,551
YES, AND IT'S A
GENUINE FOKKER D.VII.
236
00:14:36,575 --> 00:14:39,789
BOY, I'LL BET SNOOPY WOULD
LIKE TO GET THIS BABY IN HIS SIGHTS.
237
00:14:39,813 --> 00:14:41,478
YOU LIKE IT?
238
00:14:43,582 --> 00:14:46,194
I BUILT IT MYSELF
FROM A MODEL KIT.
239
00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:48,497
YOU TAKE ONE PIECE AND
STICK IT TOGETHER WITH...
240
00:14:48,521 --> 00:14:50,621
IT'S MADE BY A SMALL
COMPANY IN ARGENTINA.
241
00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:55,337
SO THAT'S HOW YOU'VE BEEN
DESTROYING THE POTATO CROPS.
242
00:14:55,361 --> 00:14:57,528
EXACTLY.
243
00:14:59,866 --> 00:15:04,180
I OFFER THE FARMERS
FREE CROP-DUSTING,
244
00:15:04,204 --> 00:15:06,782
BUT INSTEAD OF INSECTICIDE,
245
00:15:06,806 --> 00:15:08,451
I SPRAY A NEWLY
DEVELOPED BACTERIA,
246
00:15:08,475 --> 00:15:11,087
A BACTERIA CAPABLE
OF ENTERING THE POTATO
247
00:15:11,111 --> 00:15:12,588
BY OSMOSIS.
248
00:15:12,612 --> 00:15:14,090
AND ONCE INSIDE,
249
00:15:14,114 --> 00:15:16,926
IT EATS UP THE ENTIRE POTATO
250
00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:21,364
AND BURPS AND DIES,
LEAVING NO TRACE.
251
00:15:21,388 --> 00:15:24,600
AND SIEGFRIED FLIES
HOME VICTORIOUSLY.
252
00:15:26,393 --> 00:15:28,137
STOP!
253
00:15:28,161 --> 00:15:30,241
WE DON'T PTT-TT... HERE!
254
00:15:36,969 --> 00:15:38,581
NOW...
255
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:41,839
I SHALL DESTROY THE
REST OF YOUR POTATO CROP.
256
00:15:47,146 --> 00:15:49,125
AND I WILL AFFECT YOUR BROCCOLI,
257
00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:52,295
YOUR RHUBARB, YOUR SQUASH,
258
00:15:52,319 --> 00:15:55,960
AND LAST BUT NOT
LEAST, YOUR KUMQUATS!
259
00:15:58,058 --> 00:16:00,635
YOU REALLY KNOW HOW
TO HURT A GUY, DON'T YOU?
260
00:16:00,659 --> 00:16:03,739
BUT FIRST, THE
PROPELLERS ARE WAITING
261
00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:06,908
TO CUT YOU TO SMITHEREENS!
262
00:16:09,602 --> 00:16:12,603
SWITCH ON! CONTACT!
263
00:16:18,911 --> 00:16:20,655
SIEGFRIED,
264
00:16:20,679 --> 00:16:23,759
DO YOU MIND IF I
TAKE OFF MY COAT?
265
00:16:23,783 --> 00:16:26,383
IT'S BRAND-NEW AND I
DON'T WANT TO RUIN IT!
266
00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:38,307
STARKER, TAKE CARE OF THEM!
267
00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:40,464
I'M ON MY WAY.
268
00:16:56,716 --> 00:16:58,761
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO NOW, MAX?
269
00:16:58,785 --> 00:17:00,529
WE'VE GOTTA GET IN
TOUCH WITH THE CHIEF, 99.
270
00:17:00,553 --> 00:17:02,297
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT WE'LL
DO: WE'LL WRITE A NOTE,
271
00:17:02,321 --> 00:17:04,600
AND WE'LL TIE IT TO THE LEG
OF ONE OF THESE CHICKENS.
272
00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:06,102
MAX, CHICKENS DON'T FLY.
273
00:17:06,126 --> 00:17:07,837
THEN, WE'LL FIND ONE
THAT CAN RUN FAST.
274
00:17:07,861 --> 00:17:10,027
MAX, LOOK!
275
00:17:42,261 --> 00:17:43,973
- AGH!
- WHAT HAPPENED?
276
00:17:43,997 --> 00:17:47,042
OH, STEPPED RIGHT
ON THAT RAKE, CHIEF.
277
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,044
THAT HURT.
278
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:51,913
I KNOW.
279
00:17:51,937 --> 00:17:54,249
HOW DID YOU KNOW
WE WERE HERE, CHIEF?
280
00:17:54,273 --> 00:17:56,518
I STOPPED BY THE HOUSE AND 99'S
MOTHER TOLD ME YOU WERE HERE.
281
00:17:56,542 --> 00:17:58,320
YOU CAME JUST IN THE
NICK OF TIME, CHIEF.
282
00:17:58,344 --> 00:18:01,123
I WOULD HAVE BEEN HERE SOONER,
BUT SHE MADE ME STOP AND EAT FIRST.
283
00:18:01,147 --> 00:18:04,681
SIEGFRIED!
284
00:18:14,327 --> 00:18:16,205
HE'S GONNA FINISH
OFF THE POTATO CROP!
285
00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:18,128
COME ON.
286
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:26,915
Max: GOOD. HE
THINKS HE'S GOT US.
287
00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:28,484
THERE GOES THE POTATO CROP.
288
00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:31,520
YOU KNOW, CHIEF, I'VE
ALWAYS WONDERED ABOUT THAT.
289
00:18:31,544 --> 00:18:33,321
HOW MANY POTATOES
ARE THERE IN A CROP?
290
00:18:33,345 --> 00:18:35,123
IT ALL DEPENDS...
4,000 OR 5,000 BUSHELS.
291
00:18:35,147 --> 00:18:36,814
BOY, THAT'S A LOT OF CROP.
292
00:18:38,817 --> 00:18:40,830
LOOK, HE'S COMING BACK!
293
00:18:40,854 --> 00:18:42,998
SURE. NOW HE'S
AFTER OUR KUMQUATS.
294
00:18:43,022 --> 00:18:44,499
WE'VE GOT TO STOP HIM, MAX!
295
00:18:44,523 --> 00:18:46,568
WE CAN USE THE TELEPHONE
AT MY MOTHER'S HOUSE.
296
00:18:46,592 --> 00:18:48,670
OH, DID YOU HAVE A
NICE WALK, CHILDREN?
297
00:18:48,694 --> 00:18:52,007
NOT NOW, MOTHER.
THIS IS AN EMERGENCY.
298
00:18:52,031 --> 00:18:55,610
ANOTHER ONE? I DIDN'T KNOW THE
GREETING CARD BUSINESS WAS THAT EXCITING.
299
00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:57,513
I'LL GO GET DINNER.
300
00:18:57,537 --> 00:19:00,604
- WHERE'S THE PHONE, 99?
- I'LL GET IT.
301
00:19:09,681 --> 00:19:11,260
HELLO, OPERATOR?
302
00:19:11,284 --> 00:19:14,396
GIVE ME THE COMMANDING OFFICER
AT THE NEAREST AIR FORCE BASE.
303
00:19:14,420 --> 00:19:16,220
THIS IS AN EMERGENCY. HURRY.
304
00:19:17,290 --> 00:19:20,169
HELLO, COLONEL? THIS IS
MAXWELL SMART OF CONTROL.
305
00:19:20,193 --> 00:19:23,071
IT'S URGENT THAT WE GET
A JET PLANE IMMEDIATELY
306
00:19:23,095 --> 00:19:24,907
IN ORDER TO PREVENT
A NATIONAL DISASTER.
307
00:19:24,931 --> 00:19:27,375
NOW, I'M 40 MILES
NORTH OF TWIN FALLS.
308
00:19:27,399 --> 00:19:30,745
WHERE'S THE CLOSEST PLACE THAT
WE CAN FIND AN AIR FORCE FIGHTER?
309
00:19:30,769 --> 00:19:33,582
ANKARA, TURKEY?
310
00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:37,419
- NOTHING CLOSER?
- NOTHING CLOSER?
311
00:19:37,443 --> 00:19:40,322
YES, COLONEL, I KNOW WE HAVE
PLANES ALL OVER THE WORLD.
312
00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:41,957
BUT DO WE HAVE
ANY IN THIS COUNTRY?
313
00:19:41,981 --> 00:19:43,559
HOW ABOUT SOME
OF THE OLDER JETS?
314
00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:45,561
HOW ABOUT SOME
OF THE OLDER JETS?
315
00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:48,597
- WE SOLD THEM
TO GERMANY AND JAPAN.
- THAT'S GREAT.
316
00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:51,366
AFTER ALL, CHIEF, WE
SHOT ALL OF THEIRS DOWN.
317
00:19:51,390 --> 00:19:52,868
HOW ABOUT P-40s
FROM WORLD WAR II?
318
00:19:52,892 --> 00:19:55,337
HOW ABOUT THE P-40s
FROM WORLD WAR II?
319
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:57,539
- ISRAEL, CHIEF.
- P-47s?
320
00:19:57,563 --> 00:20:01,076
- HOW ABOUT THE P-47s?
- WE SOLD ALL THOSE
TO THE ARABS.
321
00:20:01,100 --> 00:20:03,378
LISTEN, COLONEL,
322
00:20:03,402 --> 00:20:06,247
TELL ME, DOES THE SPIRIT
OF ST. LOUIS STILL FLY?
323
00:20:06,271 --> 00:20:07,749
MAX.
324
00:20:07,773 --> 00:20:09,918
THANK YOU VERY MUCH, SIR.
325
00:20:09,942 --> 00:20:11,887
IT LOOKS AS THOUGH
SIEGFRIED'S WON.
326
00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:15,157
WAIT A MINUTE, CHIEF.
HE HASN'T WON YET.
327
00:20:15,181 --> 00:20:17,021
I KNOW WHERE THERE'S A PLANE.
328
00:20:22,956 --> 00:20:25,934
CHIEF, YOU'RE NOT GONNA LET
MAX GO UP IN THIS OLD THING!
329
00:20:25,958 --> 00:20:28,804
OF COURSE NOT, 99. I'M GOING
AFTER SIEGFRIED MYSELF.
330
00:20:28,828 --> 00:20:31,573
OH!
331
00:20:31,597 --> 00:20:33,575
SORRY ABOUT THAT, CHIEF,
332
00:20:33,599 --> 00:20:36,999
BUT YOU'RE TOO
IMPORTANT TO CONTROL.
333
00:20:38,538 --> 00:20:40,819
UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN, 99.
334
00:21:46,606 --> 00:21:49,106
DARN FOOL KID!
335
00:21:56,315 --> 00:21:58,493
OH, HE'S CAUGHT
UP WITH SIEGFRIED!
336
00:21:58,517 --> 00:21:59,950
LOOK, CHIEF.
337
00:22:39,192 --> 00:22:41,292
CHIEF, MAX IS IN TROUBLE!
338
00:22:43,562 --> 00:22:44,695
HE'S GONNA JUMP!
339
00:22:51,771 --> 00:22:54,071
HE'S JUMPING
WITHOUT A PARACHUTE!
340
00:23:01,981 --> 00:23:03,725
NICE JUMP, SMART!
341
00:23:03,749 --> 00:23:06,060
THANK YOU, SIEGFRIED!
GIVE ME A HAND!
342
00:23:06,084 --> 00:23:08,196
CERTAINLY! HERE'S A HAND!
343
00:23:08,220 --> 00:23:10,933
DON'T TELL ME YOU'D SHOOT
AN UNARMED MAN IN MIDAIR!
344
00:23:10,957 --> 00:23:13,890
- OF COURSE I WOULD!
- I ASKED YOU NOT
TO TELL ME THAT!
345
00:23:25,304 --> 00:23:27,471
HE'S GOT HIM, CHIEF!
346
00:23:28,707 --> 00:23:31,742
ALL RIGHT, SIEGFRIED,
TAKE HER DOWN!
347
00:23:36,115 --> 00:23:39,928
DARLING, YOUR
DINNER'S GETTING COLD.
348
00:23:39,952 --> 00:23:42,230
WHERE'S YOUR FIANCÉ, 81?
349
00:23:42,254 --> 00:23:45,066
HE'S UP THERE, MOTHER. WELL,
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF HIM?
350
00:23:45,090 --> 00:23:48,270
OH, I LIKE HIM. I THINK
HE'S VERY NICE YOUNG MAN.
351
00:23:48,294 --> 00:23:50,672
STRANGE, BUT NICE.
352
00:23:50,696 --> 00:23:53,007
IS HE REALLY IN THE
GREETING CARD BUSINESS?
353
00:23:53,031 --> 00:23:55,077
YES, OF COURSE. WHY DO YOU ASK?
354
00:23:55,101 --> 00:23:57,012
OH, I DON'T KNOW. YOUR
FATHER USED TO ALWAYS SAY
355
00:23:57,036 --> 00:23:58,680
HE WAS IN THE
GREETING CARD BUSINESS
356
00:23:58,704 --> 00:24:02,506
- AND WASN'T HE?
- DIDN'T YOU KNOW? YOUR FATHER WAS A SPY.
27539
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