All language subtitles for Get Smart S03E01 The Spy Who Met Himself.DVDRip.NonHI.cc.en.HBO

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:30,664 --> 00:00:33,142 - IS THAT YOU, 38? - 86. 2 00:00:33,166 --> 00:00:34,933 COME ON. 3 00:00:43,310 --> 00:00:45,655 WELL, 38, IT CERTAINLY IS GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 4 00:00:45,679 --> 00:00:47,757 - HOW'S MRS. 38? - OH, JUST FINE! 5 00:00:47,781 --> 00:00:50,781 WE'RE EXPECTING A LITTLE FRACTION SOON. 6 00:00:52,586 --> 00:00:56,767 OH, BY THE WAY, HOW'S THE CHIEF THESE DAYS? 7 00:00:56,791 --> 00:00:59,269 STILL GIVING YOU ALL OF THOSE TOUGH ASSIGNMENTS? 8 00:00:59,293 --> 00:01:01,338 YES, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS WITH THE CHIEF, 9 00:01:01,362 --> 00:01:05,008 BUT HE'S YET TO GIVE ME AN ASSIGNMENT THAT HASN'T TURNED OUT TO BE A TOUGH ONE. 10 00:01:05,032 --> 00:01:07,408 DEPENDS ON YOU, DOESN'T HE? TELLS YOU EVERYTHING. 11 00:01:07,432 --> 00:01:08,044 EVERYTHING. 12 00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:11,547 WELL, NOT EVERYTHING. HE HASN'T TOLD ME ABOUT THE SECRET FORMULA 13 00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:13,716 - FOR THE NEW SUPERSONIC WARHEAD YET. - OH? 14 00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:16,686 BUT HE WILL. AS A MATTER OF FACT, HE'S BRIEFING ME ON IT TOMORROW 15 00:01:16,710 --> 00:01:19,655 BEFORE HE LEAVES ON HIS VACATION, IN CASE ANYTHING HAPPENS TO HIM. 16 00:01:19,679 --> 00:01:22,025 IT MUST BE GREAT BEING IN ON THINGS LIKE YOU ARE. 17 00:01:22,049 --> 00:01:25,094 WE COURIERS NEVER HEAR ANYTHING. WE'RE LIKE ERRAND BOYS. 18 00:01:25,118 --> 00:01:27,797 - YOU... DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING FOR ME? - OH, YES. 19 00:01:27,821 --> 00:01:30,767 THERE YOU ARE. YOU KNOW, 38, 20 00:01:30,791 --> 00:01:33,369 THERE'S SOMETHING VERY DIFFERENT ABOUT YOU TODAY. 21 00:01:33,393 --> 00:01:35,939 I JUST CAN'T FIGURE... OH, I KNOW WHAT IT IS. 22 00:01:35,963 --> 00:01:38,875 IT'S THAT STRIPED NECKTIE. YOU NEVER WEAR STRIPED NECKTIES. 23 00:01:38,899 --> 00:01:41,011 YOU ALWAYS WEAR SOLID COLORS. 24 00:01:41,035 --> 00:01:43,101 I WONDER WHY YOU... 25 00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:51,970 MAX? 26 00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:56,107 MAX! 27 00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:00,090 - WHAT HAPPENED, 38? - SOMEBODY SLUGGED HIM. 28 00:03:00,114 --> 00:03:02,458 SEE IF YOU CAN BRING HIM TO. I'LL SEE IF I CAN CATCH THE GUY. 29 00:03:02,482 --> 00:03:05,028 RIGHT, 38. MAX! 30 00:03:05,052 --> 00:03:08,031 I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT. I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND IT, CHIEF. 31 00:03:08,055 --> 00:03:10,133 WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD HE WANT TO HIT ME? 32 00:03:10,157 --> 00:03:13,737 ARE YOU SURE THAT'S ALL YOU SAID TO HIM, JUST THAT YOU DIDN'T LIKE HIS NECKTIE? 33 00:03:13,761 --> 00:03:16,472 THAT'S ALL I SAID TO HIM. I MEAN, AFTER ALL, 34 00:03:16,496 --> 00:03:20,209 NOBODY WEARS A STRIPED NECKTIE WITH A PLAID SPORT... 35 00:03:20,233 --> 00:03:22,178 JACKET. 36 00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:24,180 PRACTICALLY NOBODY. 37 00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:26,315 A STRANGE THING, CHIEF, 38 00:03:26,339 --> 00:03:28,584 AGENT 38 DIDN'T SAY THAT HE HIT MAX, 39 00:03:28,608 --> 00:03:30,486 HE SAID SOMEONE ELSE DID. 40 00:03:30,510 --> 00:03:32,088 38 ALWAYS SEEMED SO STABLE TO ME. 41 00:03:32,112 --> 00:03:34,056 - I CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT... - CHIEF! 42 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:36,259 I'M SORRY FOR BREAKING IN LIKE THIS, BUT I'VE... 43 00:03:36,283 --> 00:03:37,994 MAX, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 44 00:03:38,018 --> 00:03:39,896 IT'S ME... 38, YOUR OLD FRIEND! 45 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:41,464 NOW WE'RE EVEN, OLD FRIEND. 46 00:03:41,488 --> 00:03:45,568 I SEE YOU HAD THE DECENCY TO CHANGE TO A SOLID COLOR TIE. 47 00:03:45,592 --> 00:03:48,071 MAX! WHAT IS IT, 38? WHAT HAPPENED? 48 00:03:48,095 --> 00:03:51,074 I JUST ESCAPED FROM KAOS. THEY GRABBED ME WHEN I WAS 49 00:03:51,098 --> 00:03:53,810 ON MY WAY TO MEET MAX AND TOOK ME TO THEIR HIDEOUT. 50 00:03:53,834 --> 00:03:56,712 THEY'VE GOT A GUY OUT THERE THAT'S MY DOUBLE. 51 00:03:56,736 --> 00:03:58,314 - A DOUBLE? - FOR YOU? 52 00:03:58,338 --> 00:04:01,117 PERFECT. IT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE ME. WALKS LIKE ME, TALKS LIKE ME. 53 00:04:01,141 --> 00:04:03,586 I DOUBT IF ANYBODY'LL EVER BE ABLE TO TELL US APART. 54 00:04:03,610 --> 00:04:06,722 WAIT A MINUTE, 38. TELL ME, IS MRS. 38 EXPECTING? 55 00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:08,558 NOT THAT I KNOW OF. 56 00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:11,062 I THINK YOU'D BETTER GO HOME AND CHECK. 57 00:04:13,487 --> 00:04:15,765 WHAT DO YOU THINK ALL THIS MEANS, CHIEF? 58 00:04:15,789 --> 00:04:17,600 IT CAN ONLY MEAN ONE THING, 99: 59 00:04:17,624 --> 00:04:19,936 THE LEAGUE OF IMPOSTERS HAS MADE ITS FIRST MOVE. 60 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:21,838 - THE LEAGUE OF IMPOSTERS?! - RIGHT. 61 00:04:21,862 --> 00:04:23,806 OF COURSE! THE LEAGUE OF IMPOSTERS. 62 00:04:23,830 --> 00:04:25,775 IT'S GOTTA BE THE LEAGUE OF IMPOSTERS. 63 00:04:25,799 --> 00:04:28,244 WHAT ELSE COULD IT BE BUT THE LEAGUE OF IMPOSTERS? 64 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:30,280 - ONE QUESTION, CHIEF? - WHAT? 65 00:04:30,304 --> 00:04:32,203 WHAT IS THE LEAGUE OF IMPOSTERS? 66 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,484 IT'S KAOS' NEW DIABOLICAL SCHEME 67 00:04:35,508 --> 00:04:37,420 TO INFILTRATE US, MAX. 68 00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:39,455 FOR YEARS THEY'VE BEEN SCOURING THE WORLD 69 00:04:39,479 --> 00:04:42,192 FOR EXACT PHYSICAL DUPLICATES OF THE CONTROL PERSONNEL. 70 00:04:42,216 --> 00:04:44,227 - LIKE THE DOUBLE FOR AGENT 38. - THAT'S RIGHT. 71 00:04:44,251 --> 00:04:46,196 AND THEY'VE TRAINED EACH ONE OF THEM 72 00:04:46,220 --> 00:04:48,764 TO IMPERSONATE A SPECIFIC CONTROL AGENT PERFECTLY... 73 00:04:48,788 --> 00:04:51,067 VOICE, MANNERISMS, EVERYTHING. 74 00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:52,568 OH, IS THAT ALL? 75 00:04:52,592 --> 00:04:55,605 WELL, THEY OVERLOOKED ONE LITTLE ITEM, CHIEF. 76 00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:56,873 WHAT'S THAT? 77 00:04:56,897 --> 00:04:59,808 THE EAGLE EYE OF MAXWELL SMART. 78 00:04:59,832 --> 00:05:01,912 WHICH EYE IS THAT, MAX? 79 00:05:03,603 --> 00:05:06,816 NOW LOOK, CHIEF, I DON'T CARE HOW GOOD AN IMPOSTER IS, 80 00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:09,518 I GUARANTEE YOU THAT I'LL SEE THROUGH THEM 81 00:05:09,542 --> 00:05:12,121 THE MINUTE I MEET THEM FACE TO FACE. 82 00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:14,557 - YOU MET ONE THIS MORNING, MAX. - HUH? 83 00:05:14,581 --> 00:05:17,260 - YOU MET ONE THIS MORNING. - OH, YES. 84 00:05:17,284 --> 00:05:19,896 THAT WAS A DIFFERENT THING. WE WEREN'T FACE TO FACE, CHIEF. 85 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:22,064 - YOU SEE, I WAS STANDING KINDA SIDEWAYS... - MAX! 86 00:05:22,088 --> 00:05:26,435 THIS IS SERIOUS, CHIEF. DO YOU THINK THEY HAVE A DOUBLE FOR EVERY AGENT IN CONTROL? 87 00:05:26,459 --> 00:05:29,572 THIS IS SIEGFRIED CALLING THE IMPOSTER DEPARTMENT. 88 00:05:29,596 --> 00:05:31,640 SEND JOHANN IN IMMEDIATELY. 89 00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:33,765 PLEASE, UND SNAP IT UP. 90 00:05:37,704 --> 00:05:39,649 AH, JOHANN, 91 00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:42,185 I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU. 92 00:05:42,209 --> 00:05:46,389 SORRY ABOUT THAT, CHIEF. I WAS JUST ABOUT TO CALL YOU ON MY SHOE PHONE. 93 00:05:46,413 --> 00:05:48,992 AH, THAT'S WONDERFUL! 94 00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:52,262 YOU LOOK MORE LIKE SMART THAN SMART DOES. 95 00:05:52,286 --> 00:05:54,664 UND YOUR VOICE IS HIS ECHO. TELL ME, HOW LONG 96 00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:57,466 DID IT TAKE YOU TO LEARN THAT VOICE SO PERFECTLY? 97 00:05:57,490 --> 00:06:00,904 - JUST A FEW MONTHS, SIEGFRIED. - AH! SUCH A GENIUS. 98 00:06:00,928 --> 00:06:03,907 IT TOOK ME ALMOST 10 YEARS TO SPEAK ENGLISH SO GOOD LIKE I DO. 99 00:06:03,931 --> 00:06:08,477 SIT DOWN, SIT DOWN. WE'LL DISCUSS OUR PLANS. HMM? 100 00:06:08,501 --> 00:06:10,813 Chief: WE DON'T KNOW WHO THEY'LL IMPERSONATE NEXT, 101 00:06:10,837 --> 00:06:14,717 SO NONE OF US IS SAFE. WE CAN'T TAKE ANY CHANCES. 102 00:06:14,741 --> 00:06:17,953 ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT. STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE. NOBODY MOVE. 103 00:06:17,977 --> 00:06:20,789 - MAX! - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 104 00:06:20,813 --> 00:06:23,058 JUST CHECKING YOU OUT, MISTER. 105 00:06:23,082 --> 00:06:26,128 IF YOU'RE REALLY THE CHIEF OF CONTROL, PROVE IT. 106 00:06:26,152 --> 00:06:28,731 - PUT IT AWAY. - I'M NOT PUTTING ANYTHING AWAY 107 00:06:28,755 --> 00:06:32,935 UNTIL I'M COMPLETELY SATISFIED THAT YOU'RE NOT AN IMPOSTER. 108 00:06:32,959 --> 00:06:36,606 IF YOU DON'T PUT IT AWAY IN EXACTLY TWO SECONDS YOU'RE FIRED. 109 00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:39,442 I'M COMPLETELY SATISFIED. 110 00:06:39,466 --> 00:06:43,079 I ADMIT YOU'RE THOROUGH BUT, MAX, YOU'VE GOT TO LEARN TO RELAX. 111 00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:46,448 I WILL NEVER RELAX, CHIEF, NEVER RELAX, NOT UNTIL I BREAK 112 00:06:46,472 --> 00:06:50,575 THAT EVIL LEAGUE OF IMPOSTERS AND SMASH THEM LIKE INSECTS. 113 00:06:57,084 --> 00:07:00,263 UH, CHIEF, HAVE YOU GOT ANYTHING THAT NEEDS STAMPING? 114 00:07:00,287 --> 00:07:01,764 NO, MAX. 115 00:07:01,788 --> 00:07:04,089 WELL, IN THAT CASE, I THINK I'LL GO WASH MY HAND. 116 00:07:07,794 --> 00:07:10,473 WELL, SIEGFRIED, I THINK IT'S TIME TO ACT. 117 00:07:10,497 --> 00:07:14,077 I'VE NEVER BEEN SO READY FOR A PROJECT IN ALL MY LIFE. 118 00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:18,381 I'VE COMPLETELY MEMORIZED EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT MAXWELL SMART. 119 00:07:18,405 --> 00:07:22,252 GOOD. I HAVE SOME NEW TELEPHOTO MOVIES OF HIM WE JUST TOOK. 120 00:07:22,276 --> 00:07:24,487 I'LL RUN THEM NOW SO YOU CAN BRUSH UP ON HIS WALK, 121 00:07:24,511 --> 00:07:26,655 GESTURES, MANNERISMS. DUBROVNIK. 122 00:07:26,679 --> 00:07:28,658 ROLL THE FILM. 123 00:07:28,682 --> 00:07:31,394 JUST A MINUTE, SIEGFRIED, HAVEN'T YOU FORGOTTEN SOMETHING? 124 00:07:31,418 --> 00:07:33,318 - WHAT IS THAT? - WHERE'S THE POPCORN? 125 00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:36,999 OH, THAT'S WONDERFUL, JOHANN. 126 00:07:37,023 --> 00:07:40,236 YOU'RE EVEN BEGINNING TO THINK LIKE SMART. 127 00:07:40,260 --> 00:07:42,805 WE DON'T KNOW WHO THEY'RE GONNA GRAB NEXT. 128 00:07:42,829 --> 00:07:45,508 ALL WE CAN DO IS WAIT AND SEE. 129 00:07:45,532 --> 00:07:47,644 IT'S A LITTLE HARD ON THE NERVES. 130 00:07:47,668 --> 00:07:50,580 WELL, CHIEF, AT LEAST YOU'RE NOT FACING KAOS ALONE. 131 00:07:50,604 --> 00:07:52,114 MAX IS WITH YOU ALL THE WAY. 132 00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:54,651 99, IF YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING ENCOURAGING, 133 00:07:54,675 --> 00:07:56,886 DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL. 134 00:07:56,910 --> 00:07:59,855 - OH MY RING. - OH, IT'S UNDER THE DESK. I'LL GET IT. 135 00:07:59,879 --> 00:08:02,992 CHIEF, THE SOAP IN THAT WASHROOM IS TERRIBLE. 136 00:08:03,016 --> 00:08:04,594 LOOK WHAT IT DID TO MY HANDS. 137 00:08:04,618 --> 00:08:06,830 YES, I KNOW. MY HANDS ARE ALL CHAPPED TOO. 138 00:08:06,854 --> 00:08:09,666 MAX! WHY DID YOU HIT THE CHIEF? 139 00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:12,435 STAND BACK, 99. THAT ISN'T THE CHIEF. IT'S AN IMPOSTER. 140 00:08:12,459 --> 00:08:15,104 THE CHIEF ALWAYS WEARS A RING. THIS MAN DOESN'T HAVE A RING. 141 00:08:15,128 --> 00:08:18,307 HERE IT IS, MAX. IT FELL UNDER THE DESK. 142 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:21,143 OH, SORRY ABOUT THAT, CHIEF. 143 00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:23,179 MAX, WE'RE GETTING SO JUMPY. 144 00:08:23,203 --> 00:08:26,949 IF ONLY THERE WERE SOME WAY TO KNOW WHO THEY WERE GOING TO IMPERSONATE NEXT. 145 00:08:26,973 --> 00:08:30,285 YES, WELL, I CAN TELL YOU ONE THING FOR SURE: IT WON'T BE MAXWELL SMART. 146 00:08:30,309 --> 00:08:32,388 BECAUSE IF ANYBODY COMES THROUGH THAT DOOR 147 00:08:32,412 --> 00:08:34,891 THAT LOOKS LIKE ME, I'LL RECOGNIZE HIM IN A MINUTE. 148 00:08:34,915 --> 00:08:37,694 THEY MIGHT TRY, MAX. THEY MUST HAVE A LOT OF INFORMATION 149 00:08:37,718 --> 00:08:39,695 ABOUT AN AGENT AS IMPORTANT AS YOU. 150 00:08:39,719 --> 00:08:42,431 YES, BUT THEY DON'T KNOW THE LITTLE THINGS, 151 00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:44,500 THE THOUSAND TINY DETAILS 152 00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,769 THAT GO TO MAKE UP THAT COMPLICATED 153 00:08:46,793 --> 00:08:48,771 AND FASCINATING PERSONALITY 154 00:08:48,795 --> 00:08:51,174 KNOWN AS AGENT 86. 155 00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:53,375 WATCH THE WALK NOW. 156 00:08:53,399 --> 00:08:55,411 HE HAS A VERY DISTINCTIVE WALK. 157 00:08:55,435 --> 00:08:57,714 HE LOOKS LIKE HE'S SUFFERING FROM A SEVERE CASE 158 00:08:57,738 --> 00:08:59,582 OF TIGHT UNDERWEAR. 159 00:08:59,606 --> 00:09:01,684 AND NOW WE TAKE OUR TELEPHOTO LENS 160 00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:04,020 INSIDE SMART'S APARTMENT. 161 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:07,011 THIS IS HOW HE GETS UP IN THE MORNING. 162 00:09:34,307 --> 00:09:37,854 ARE YOU SURE SMART ISN'T ALREADY ON OUR SIDE? 163 00:09:37,878 --> 00:09:40,456 AND EVEN IF SOMEONE DOES TRY TO IMPERSONATE ME, CHIEF, 164 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:43,425 I'VE GOT A BRAND NEW IDENTIFICATION MARK THAT NOBODY KNOWS ABOUT. 165 00:09:43,449 --> 00:09:45,661 GOOD. IF I HAVE A SECRET WAY TO CHECK YOUR I.D., MAX, 166 00:09:45,685 --> 00:09:48,525 - IT COULD SAVE SOME LIVES. - RIGHT. I'LL SHOW IT TO YOU, CHIEF. 167 00:09:50,357 --> 00:09:53,502 IF YOU DON'T MIND, 99, I'D APPRECIATE IT IF YOU'D TURN YOUR HEAD. 168 00:09:53,526 --> 00:09:57,340 MAX, WE'RE CONTROL AGENTS. WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE SECRETS FROM ONE ANOTHER. 169 00:09:57,364 --> 00:10:00,064 IF YOU DON'T TURN YOUR HEAD, I'M NOT GOING TO SHOW IT. 170 00:10:06,072 --> 00:10:09,218 THERE IT IS. ISN'T IT A BEAUT? I JUST GOT IT YESTERDAY. 171 00:10:09,242 --> 00:10:11,454 THAT'S A PRETTY BAD BRUISE, MAX. HOW'D IT HAPPEN? 172 00:10:11,478 --> 00:10:14,324 BRIDGE GAME. I'VE GOT A PARTNER THAT SIGNALS A LOT. 173 00:10:14,348 --> 00:10:17,059 THAT'S A GREAT IDENTIFICATION, 174 00:10:17,083 --> 00:10:20,262 A BIG PURPLE BRUISE ON YOUR RIGHT ANKLE. 175 00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:23,265 AND THIS FINAL SCENE IS VERY INTERESTING. 176 00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:25,234 WE TOOK IT JUST LAST NIGHT. 177 00:10:25,258 --> 00:10:26,991 WATCH THIS. 178 00:10:32,999 --> 00:10:37,546 Johann: AH, A LARGE PURPLE BRUISE ON HIS RIGHT ANKLE. 179 00:10:37,570 --> 00:10:39,770 A LOVELY COLOR. 180 00:10:42,508 --> 00:10:44,308 THAT'S IT. 181 00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:50,292 WELL, THANK YOU, SIEGFRIED. THAT MOVIE WAS MOST HELPFUL. 182 00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:54,564 I NOW HAVE EVERY MANNERISM OF MAXWELL SMART DOWN TO PERFECTION. 183 00:10:54,588 --> 00:10:57,767 GOOD. TOMORROW WE KIDNAP MAXWELL SMART 184 00:10:57,791 --> 00:10:59,802 UND YOU WILL TAKE HIS PLACE. 185 00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:03,973 YES, BUT I MUST BE VERY CAREFUL TO REMEMBER NOT TO LET THEM SEE MY RIGHT ANKLE. 186 00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:07,142 WHY WOULD YOU NOT LET THEM SEE YOUR RIGHT ANKLE? 187 00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:10,835 BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A BRUISE ON MY RIGHT ANKLE. 188 00:11:12,271 --> 00:11:14,505 - OW! - YOU HAVE NOW. 189 00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:26,650 13? 190 00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:29,720 13? ARE YOU THERE, 13? 191 00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:34,737 WHICH LOCKER ARE YOU IN, 13? 192 00:11:34,761 --> 00:11:38,473 - HERE I AM, 86. - HERE I AM, 86. 193 00:11:38,497 --> 00:11:40,876 SO... 194 00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:43,574 THE OLD DOUBLE-AGENT- WITH-THE-TWO-FACES-IN- 195 00:11:43,598 --> 00:11:44,947 THE-TWIN-LOCKER TRICK. 196 00:11:44,971 --> 00:11:46,516 - I'M THE REAL 13. - HE'S NOT THE REAL 13. 197 00:11:46,540 --> 00:11:47,883 HE'S THE IMPOSTER. 198 00:11:47,907 --> 00:11:51,120 - NO, HE'S AN IMPOSTER. - HE IS! 199 00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:53,456 NOW JUST A MINUTE, GENTLEMEN. 200 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:56,158 I'LL DECIDE WHO THE IMPOSTER IS. 201 00:11:56,182 --> 00:11:58,995 DON'T WORRY, AGENT 13, HE WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS. 202 00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:01,030 AND DON'T YOU WORRY EITHER, 13. 203 00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:04,132 HE WON'T GET AWAY WITH IT EITHER. 204 00:12:04,156 --> 00:12:06,535 ACCORDING TO MY FANTASTIC MEMORY, 205 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:09,905 IT SEEMS TO ME THAT WHEN I HAD BREAKFAST WITH AGENT 13 THIS MORNING 206 00:12:09,929 --> 00:12:14,076 HE HAD EGGS FOR BREAKFAST AND HE SPILT SOME OF THEM 207 00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:15,911 ON HIS LAPEL. 208 00:12:15,935 --> 00:12:18,814 WHICH MEANS THAT THE IMPOSTER 209 00:12:18,838 --> 00:12:20,170 IS YOU. 210 00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:25,287 WAIT A MINUTE... 211 00:12:25,311 --> 00:12:27,189 COME TO THINK OF IT, 212 00:12:27,213 --> 00:12:29,893 HE HAD CEREAL. I WAS THE ONE WHO HAD EGGS. 213 00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:33,829 PUT 'EM UP, 86. 214 00:12:33,853 --> 00:12:34,986 UP. 215 00:13:03,817 --> 00:13:06,117 HOLD IT! SOMEONE'S COMING. 216 00:13:19,733 --> 00:13:21,165 OKAY. 217 00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:51,996 MAX, OVER HERE! 218 00:13:58,037 --> 00:14:01,284 CHIEF, THEY WERE LAYING FOR ME AND THERE WERE TWO 13s. 219 00:14:01,308 --> 00:14:03,452 I KNOW THAT, MAX. I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING. 220 00:14:03,476 --> 00:14:07,011 HAND ME THAT PHOTO, WILL YOU? 221 00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:45,116 HERE, THIS WILL HELP WITH THE IMPERSONATION. 222 00:14:50,823 --> 00:14:53,803 I SEE MR. SMART IS COMING TO HIS SENSES. 223 00:14:53,827 --> 00:14:55,460 IF HE HAS ANY LEFT. 224 00:15:03,937 --> 00:15:07,984 MR. SMART, MEET MR. SMART. 225 00:15:08,008 --> 00:15:10,528 FANTASTIC, ISN'T IT? 226 00:15:12,845 --> 00:15:15,791 YOU'LL NEVER GET AWAY WITH THIS, SIEGFRIED. 227 00:15:15,815 --> 00:15:18,628 FIRST OF ALL, HE DOESN'T LOOK ANY MORE LIKE ME THAN YOU DO. 228 00:15:18,652 --> 00:15:20,796 HE'S GOT BIG EARS, A LONG NOSE 229 00:15:20,820 --> 00:15:22,298 AND A SLIT FOR A MOUTH. 230 00:15:22,322 --> 00:15:24,466 HE LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE YOU. 231 00:15:24,490 --> 00:15:27,225 HE EVEN HAS THE SAME BEADY LITTLE EYES. 232 00:15:28,395 --> 00:15:29,405 WHO DOES? 233 00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:31,841 LIKE IT OR NOT, HE IS YOU. 234 00:15:31,865 --> 00:15:34,109 AND NO ONE COULD TELL THE DIFFERENCE. 235 00:15:34,133 --> 00:15:36,045 VERY WELL, SIEGFRIED. 236 00:15:36,069 --> 00:15:37,913 HE MIGHT PASS IN THE DARK, 237 00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:40,382 BUT YOUR PLAN IS DOOMED TO FAILURE 238 00:15:40,406 --> 00:15:42,718 BECAUSE YOU OVERLOOKED ONE TINY LITTLE THING... 239 00:15:42,742 --> 00:15:47,489 YOU SEE I HAPPEN TO HAVE A VERY DISTINCTIVE AND UNIQUE VOICE. 240 00:15:47,513 --> 00:15:49,691 DID YOU HEAR THAT, SIEGFRIED? 241 00:15:49,715 --> 00:15:54,530 HE HAS A VERY DISTINCTIVE AND UNIQUE VOICE. 242 00:15:54,554 --> 00:15:56,521 THAT'S RIGHT. LISTEN TO ME... 243 00:15:58,157 --> 00:16:00,669 MR. SMART, YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED 244 00:16:00,693 --> 00:16:01,837 IN WHAT WE ARE GOING TO DO 245 00:16:01,861 --> 00:16:03,939 INASMUCH AS YOU ARE GOING TO DO IT. 246 00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:06,775 YOUR CHIEF... THE REAL ONE... WILL REVEAL THE SECRET 247 00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:09,578 OF THE SUPERSONIC WARHEAD TO OUR JOHANN HERE. 248 00:16:09,602 --> 00:16:13,315 AS SOON AS HE DOES, JOHANN WILL KILL YOUR CHIEF, 249 00:16:13,339 --> 00:16:15,617 SUBSTITUTE OUR CHIEF FOR HIM 250 00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:18,053 AND THEN CONTROL WILL BE... 251 00:16:18,077 --> 00:16:21,056 HOW DO YOU SAY IT IN YOUR LANGUAGE? AH, YES... 252 00:16:26,452 --> 00:16:28,764 WELL, SIEGFRIED, WE'D BETTER GET GOING. 253 00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:32,434 IT'S 10 MINUTES TO 3:00... IF MR. SMART'S WATCH IS CORRECT. 254 00:16:32,458 --> 00:16:36,205 IF IT ISN'T, LET ME KNOW. I HAVE A LIFETIME GUARANTEE ON IT. 255 00:16:36,229 --> 00:16:39,275 WHICH IN YOUR CASE IS OVER WITHIN 10 MORE MINUTES. 256 00:16:39,299 --> 00:16:42,099 DUBROVNIK, BALINKOV, GET OFF HIS SHOE. 257 00:16:45,238 --> 00:16:47,438 THE OTHER ONE! THE ONE WITH THE PHONE. 258 00:16:57,516 --> 00:16:59,561 OKAY, SIEGFRIED, THAT'S IT, YOU'VE HAD IT. 259 00:16:59,585 --> 00:17:02,330 IT'S ONE THING WHEN YOU FIGHT THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT, 260 00:17:02,354 --> 00:17:04,166 BUT IT'S QUITE ANOTHER THING ENTIRELY 261 00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:06,468 WHEN YOU START TO FOOL AROUND WITH A.T.&T. 262 00:17:06,492 --> 00:17:10,505 MR. SMART, I LEAVE YOU TO YOUR FATE. 263 00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:14,577 WHEN WE CLOSE THAT DOOR THIS ROOM WILL BE HERMETICALLY SEALED. 264 00:17:14,601 --> 00:17:17,613 GAS WILL BE POURING IN UNTIL YOU ARE OUT... 265 00:17:17,637 --> 00:17:18,647 DEAD! 266 00:17:18,671 --> 00:17:21,417 THERE IS NO WAY TO ESCAPE. 267 00:17:21,441 --> 00:17:23,340 GOODBYE. 268 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:24,079 NOW, MAX, I'LL BE LEAVING ON MY VACATION IN A FEW HOURS, 269 00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:26,782 SO IT'S TIME TO GIVE YOU THE FORMULA FOR THE NEW SUPERSONIC WARHEAD. 270 00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:28,717 NOW REMEMBER, THIS IS TOP SECRET... 271 00:18:28,741 --> 00:18:30,752 EVEN TO THE REST OF THE CONTROL PERSONNEL. 272 00:18:30,776 --> 00:18:32,521 DON'T WORRY, CHIEF. YOU HAVE MY WORD 273 00:18:32,545 --> 00:18:36,692 THAT NOBODY AT CONTROL WILL HEAR ABOUT IT FROM ME. 274 00:18:36,716 --> 00:18:38,928 GOOD. WAIT A MINUTE. 275 00:18:38,952 --> 00:18:41,863 BEFORE I GIVE YOU THE FORMULA... FOR COMPLETE SECURITY, MAX... 276 00:18:41,887 --> 00:18:43,932 I'D LIKE TO SEE YOUR SECRET IDENTIFICATION MARK. 277 00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:46,190 ALWAYS THINKING, AREN'T YOU, CHIEF? 278 00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:52,007 - THERE YOU ARE, CHIEF. - FINE. 279 00:18:52,031 --> 00:18:53,675 OKAY, NOW ABOUT THE WARHEAD... 280 00:18:53,699 --> 00:18:55,911 - UH, 99, WILL YOU EXCUSE US? - RIGHT, CHIEF. 281 00:18:55,935 --> 00:18:58,855 NOW, MAX, LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY... 282 00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:02,306 HOLD IT, CHIEF! DON'T SAY ANOTHER WORD. 283 00:19:03,609 --> 00:19:05,453 THIS MAN IS AN IMPOSTOR. 284 00:19:05,477 --> 00:19:07,455 HIS NAME IS JOHANN AND HE'S A KAOS AGENT. 285 00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:09,124 DON'T LISTEN TO HIM, CHIEF. 286 00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:11,026 HIS NAME IS JOHANN AND HE'S A KAOS AGENT. 287 00:19:11,050 --> 00:19:12,594 CHIEF, YOU'VE GOT TO BELIEVE ME. 288 00:19:12,618 --> 00:19:15,564 I JUST ESCAPED FROM A KAOS CELL A FEW MINUTES AGO. 289 00:19:15,588 --> 00:19:18,234 - BUT I DON'T KNOW WHO... - HE'S LYING, CHIEF. 290 00:19:18,258 --> 00:19:20,235 QUIET, MAX, I'M TALKING TO... 291 00:19:20,259 --> 00:19:22,037 MAX. 292 00:19:22,061 --> 00:19:23,972 I CAN PROVE WHO I AM. 293 00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:25,975 99, TURN YOUR HEAD. DON'T LOOK. 294 00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:28,210 HE HAS THE IDENTICAL BRUISE ON HIS ANKLE. 295 00:19:28,234 --> 00:19:32,214 IT'S PROBABLY JUST A CHEAP JAPANESE IMITATION! 296 00:19:32,238 --> 00:19:34,249 IT SEEMS HOPELESS, CHIEF. 297 00:19:34,273 --> 00:19:36,652 THERE DOESN'T SEEM TO BE ANY WAY TO TELL THEM APART. 298 00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:38,420 THEY'RE EXACT DOUBLES. 299 00:19:38,444 --> 00:19:40,122 YOU THINK THAT'S SOMETHING? 300 00:19:40,146 --> 00:19:42,907 THEY'VE GOT A GUY THAT LOOKS SO MUCH LIKE YOU, CHIEF, HE COULD PASS... 301 00:19:44,316 --> 00:19:48,063 WAIT A MINUTE. MAYBE YOU'RE PASSING FOR HIM. 302 00:19:48,087 --> 00:19:49,831 MAYBE YOU'RE THE IMPOSTOR. 303 00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:53,067 NO, I'M THE CHIEF, BUT I CAN'T TAKE ANY CHANCES. 304 00:19:53,091 --> 00:19:55,037 ONE OF YOU IS A KAOS AGENT. 305 00:19:55,061 --> 00:19:56,671 AND UNTIL I FIND OUT WHO IT IS 306 00:19:56,695 --> 00:19:58,540 I'LL HAVE TO KEEP YOU BOTH UNDER GUARD. 307 00:19:58,564 --> 00:20:01,443 I'VE GOT IT. MY FINGERPRINTS! 308 00:20:01,467 --> 00:20:05,581 HE CAN'T HAVE MY FINGERPRINTS BECAUSE THESE ARE MY FINGERS. 309 00:20:05,605 --> 00:20:08,584 NO, IT WOULDN'T WORK. WHOEVER THE FAKE SMART IS, 310 00:20:08,608 --> 00:20:10,986 HE'S ALREADY HAD ACCESS TO THE FINGERPRINT FILES. 311 00:20:11,010 --> 00:20:14,890 THERE'S NOTHING THAT CAN KEEP HIM FROM SUBSTITUTING HIS PRINTS FOR THE REAL ONES. 312 00:20:14,914 --> 00:20:16,524 WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO, CHIEF? 313 00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:18,726 THIS COULD PARALYZE OUR WHOLE ORGANIZATION. 314 00:20:18,750 --> 00:20:21,330 THERE'S ONLY ONE ANSWER, 99: 315 00:20:21,354 --> 00:20:25,067 EMERGENCY IDENTIFICATION PROCEDURE #6A. 316 00:20:25,091 --> 00:20:27,936 THIS EVENING AT 6:00 A BOARD OF INQUIRY 317 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:30,805 WILL DETERMINE WHO THE REAL MAX IS. 318 00:20:30,829 --> 00:20:33,174 99, YOU KNOW MAX BETTER THAN ANYBODY ELSE. 319 00:20:33,198 --> 00:20:35,210 - I WANT TO HAVE YOU ON THAT BOARD. - RIGHT. 320 00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:39,503 NOW, UNTIL 6:00, YOU'RE BOTH PRISONERS. 321 00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:46,888 DUMMKOPFS. DUNDERHEADS! 322 00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:48,957 SISSIES! 323 00:20:48,981 --> 00:20:51,860 YOU LET SMART ESCAPE FROM UNDER YOUR NOSES? 324 00:20:51,884 --> 00:20:53,895 PLEASE, SIEGFRIED, TRY TO CALM YOURSELF. 325 00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:57,699 I AM CALM! YOU SHOULD SEE ME WHEN I'M UPSET! 326 00:20:57,723 --> 00:21:00,069 NOW BECAUSE OF YOUR STUPIDITY, 327 00:21:00,093 --> 00:21:02,271 WE HAVE TO PUT PLAN B AND C INTO EFFECT. 328 00:21:02,295 --> 00:21:06,809 I KNOW WHAT PLAN B IS, BUT SIEGFRIED, WHAT IS PLAN C? 329 00:21:06,833 --> 00:21:09,533 THIS IS PLAN C! 330 00:21:16,375 --> 00:21:21,612 DARLING, COULD YOU PLEASE BE KIND ENOUGH TO PUT PLAN B INTO EFFECT? 331 00:21:22,715 --> 00:21:24,148 THANK YOU, SWEETHEART. 332 00:21:27,586 --> 00:21:30,865 - 12:40. - AND SMART #2, 333 00:21:30,889 --> 00:21:32,200 HOW MUCH DID YOU 334 00:21:32,224 --> 00:21:33,602 OVERCHARGE CONTROL 335 00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:35,203 ON LAST WEEK'S EXPENSE ACCOUNTS? 336 00:21:35,227 --> 00:21:37,673 $12.40. 337 00:21:37,697 --> 00:21:42,344 SMART #1, WHAT WAS YOUR REASON FOR JOINING CONTROL? 338 00:21:42,368 --> 00:21:45,247 I WANTED TO FIGHT THE FORCES OF EVIL 339 00:21:45,271 --> 00:21:48,116 AND SERVE ON THE SIDE OF NICENESS. 340 00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:50,652 SMART #2, WHAT WAS YOUR REASON FOR JOINING? 341 00:21:50,676 --> 00:21:52,354 I NEEDED THE MONEY. 342 00:21:52,378 --> 00:21:53,889 THAT TOO. 343 00:21:53,913 --> 00:21:57,625 SMART #1, HAVE YOU EVER KISSED ME? 344 00:21:57,649 --> 00:22:00,729 I'M NOT THE KIND OF MAN TO KISS AND TELL. 345 00:22:00,753 --> 00:22:02,397 CHIEF, HE'S DUCKING THE QUESTION. 346 00:22:02,421 --> 00:22:04,366 ACCORDING TO THE RULES, THAT'S HIS ANSWER. 347 00:22:04,390 --> 00:22:06,901 SMART #2, HAVE YOU EVER KISSED ME? 348 00:22:06,925 --> 00:22:09,872 - DON'T YOU REMEMBER? - I'LL NEVER FORGET. 349 00:22:09,896 --> 00:22:11,795 YES, I KISSED YOU. 350 00:22:13,699 --> 00:22:18,013 SMART #2, IN WHAT CITIES DOES CONTROL HAVE SECRET HEADQUARTERS? 351 00:22:18,037 --> 00:22:20,549 WASHINGTON, NEW YORK, BALTIMORE, 352 00:22:20,573 --> 00:22:23,185 LOS ANGELES, CLEVELAND AND PHOENIX. 353 00:22:23,209 --> 00:22:26,254 AND WE HAD ONE IN LAS VEGAS, BUT WE LOST IT. 354 00:22:26,278 --> 00:22:30,091 SMART #1, WHEN YOU WENT TO ENGLAND ON THE MARTIN CASE 355 00:22:30,115 --> 00:22:31,860 WHAT WAS THE COVER YOU USED? 356 00:22:31,884 --> 00:22:34,129 I POSED AS THE PRIME MINISTER. 357 00:22:34,153 --> 00:22:36,732 YOU POSED AS THE PRIME MINISTER? 358 00:22:36,756 --> 00:22:39,601 I DIDN'T SAY IT WAS A SUCCESSFUL COVER. 359 00:22:39,625 --> 00:22:43,205 SMART #1, LAST WEEK, WHAT DID YOU TELL ME 360 00:22:43,229 --> 00:22:45,462 IN THE STRICTEST CONFIDENCE ABOUT THE CHIEF? 361 00:22:47,399 --> 00:22:51,179 CHIEF, THAT'S NOT FAIR. WOULD YOU ANSWER A QUESTION LIKE THAT? 362 00:22:51,203 --> 00:22:53,715 - YES, I WOULD. - WELL GO AHEAD AND ANSWER IT. 363 00:22:53,739 --> 00:22:56,440 SMART #1, ANSWER THE QUESTION. 364 00:22:58,344 --> 00:23:01,590 I SAID THAT YOU WERE AN INCONSIDERATE SIMON LEGREE 365 00:23:01,614 --> 00:23:04,392 WHO BULLIES HIS EMPLOYEES AND HAS NO CONCEPTION 366 00:23:04,416 --> 00:23:06,595 OF HOW THIS ORGANIZATION OUGHT TO BE RUN. 367 00:23:06,619 --> 00:23:08,379 REMEMBER, I'M ONLY QUOTING. 368 00:23:12,324 --> 00:23:16,170 AND THE ANSWER TO THAT IS AGENTS 42, 57, 369 00:23:16,194 --> 00:23:18,941 35, 14 AND 2. 370 00:23:18,965 --> 00:23:21,143 THAT CONCLUDES THE QUESTIONING. 371 00:23:21,167 --> 00:23:22,533 YOUR DECISIONS, PLEASE. 372 00:23:24,002 --> 00:23:25,122 THANK YOU. 373 00:23:31,977 --> 00:23:33,897 SMART #1, STEP FORWARD, PLEASE. 374 00:23:35,247 --> 00:23:38,126 WELL, YOU TOOK YOUR OWN SWEET TIME ABOUT IT, 375 00:23:38,150 --> 00:23:41,750 BUT I'M GLAD TO SEE YOU'VE FINALLY COME TO THE RIGHT DECISION. 376 00:23:42,321 --> 00:23:45,166 THE PANEL HAS DECIDED THAT YOU ARE THE KAOS IMPOSTOR, 377 00:23:45,190 --> 00:23:47,202 AND SINCE THIS CALLS FOR EMERGENCY ACTION, 378 00:23:47,226 --> 00:23:49,259 YOU WILL BE SHOT RIGHT NOW. 379 00:24:06,145 --> 00:24:08,723 - ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, CHIEF? - YES, IT'S JUST MY SHOULDER. 380 00:24:08,747 --> 00:24:09,991 CHIEF, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? 381 00:24:10,015 --> 00:24:11,426 YES, IT'S JUST HIS SHOULDER. 382 00:24:11,450 --> 00:24:13,150 OH, MAX. 383 00:24:15,855 --> 00:24:18,455 I CERTAINLY HOPE I SHOT THE RIGHT ONE OF ME. 30403

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