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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,388 --> 00:00:06,789 Hi. Do you know me? I'm... [Beeps] 2 00:00:06,858 --> 00:00:10,726 Like millions of other women in America, I had sex with a Kennedy. 3 00:00:10,795 --> 00:00:13,889 So in order to be special, I carry this. 4 00:00:13,965 --> 00:00:15,899 The Equity Express card. 5 00:00:15,967 --> 00:00:18,834 That way, whether I'm getting tackled on a beach... 6 00:00:18,903 --> 00:00:20,837 watching a senator show me his briefs... 7 00:00:20,905 --> 00:00:23,373 or having my bra dusted for fingerprints... 8 00:00:23,441 --> 00:00:26,467 I can be sure the Equity Express card will be there for me. 9 00:00:26,544 --> 00:00:28,478 It's accepted all over the world... 10 00:00:28,546 --> 00:00:30,946 and in most West Palm Beach hotels and bars. 11 00:00:31,015 --> 00:00:34,348 Tell 'em the woman with the blue dot on her face sent you. 12 00:00:35,586 --> 00:00:38,487 Thank you... [Beeps] 13 00:00:38,556 --> 00:00:42,048 I may not always remember where I took off my panty hose... 14 00:00:42,126 --> 00:00:44,356 but I always remember to carry this. 15 00:00:44,429 --> 00:00:46,454 The Equity Express card. 16 00:00:46,531 --> 00:00:48,465 [Announcer] Equity Express. 17 00:00:48,533 --> 00:00:50,467 If you leave home without it... 18 00:00:50,535 --> 00:00:53,902 make sure you get grass stains on your clothes as evidence. 19 00:00:55,707 --> 00:00:58,801 Hello. I'm Senator Edward Kennedy. 20 00:00:58,876 --> 00:01:02,812 You know, some people say us Kennedys think we're above the law. 21 00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:07,613 Only problem is, sometimes the law forgets that we are Kennedys. 22 00:01:07,685 --> 00:01:10,449 And that's why I carry this. 23 00:01:10,521 --> 00:01:12,648 The Kennedy Cart Blanch. 24 00:01:12,724 --> 00:01:15,591 So whether I'm bailing relatives out of jail... 25 00:01:15,660 --> 00:01:18,288 or just bailing water out of my car... 26 00:01:18,363 --> 00:01:21,059 whether I'm buying expert testimony... 27 00:01:21,132 --> 00:01:24,033 or putting a high-priced lawyer on retainer... 28 00:01:24,102 --> 00:01:28,129 with the Kennedy Cart Blanch, the sky's the limit. 29 00:01:28,206 --> 00:01:32,142 Most importantly, this card identifies you as a bona fide Kennedy. 30 00:01:32,210 --> 00:01:34,804 And that makes you above the law. 31 00:01:34,879 --> 00:01:37,643 So whether we're trying to pass the bar... 32 00:01:37,715 --> 00:01:39,649 Or just passing by a bar... 33 00:01:39,717 --> 00:01:41,651 When we get off... 34 00:01:41,719 --> 00:01:44,711 We get off scot-free, thanks to this. 35 00:01:44,789 --> 00:01:47,155 [Ted Kennedy] The Kennedy Cart Blanch. 36 00:01:47,225 --> 00:01:50,285 Don't leave the house, or the Senate, without it. 37 00:01:50,361 --> 00:01:53,797 Willie, keep it in your pants. 38 00:01:56,968 --> 00:01:57,957 - How you livin'? - What? 39 00:01:58,035 --> 00:01:59,127 - How you livin'? - What? 40 00:01:59,203 --> 00:02:01,330 - How you livin'? - ♪ In living color♪ 41 00:02:03,775 --> 00:02:07,905 - ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 42 00:02:07,979 --> 00:02:12,245 - ♪ Anything you want is up to you ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 43 00:02:12,316 --> 00:02:16,116 - ♪ You for me and me for you ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 44 00:02:16,187 --> 00:02:20,453 - ♪ You can be anything you wanna be ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 45 00:02:20,525 --> 00:02:23,153 - ♪ Let's take a trip and sip on a dream ♪ - ♪ Yeah ♪ 46 00:02:23,227 --> 00:02:25,388 - ♪ Glide with the guide on a funky scene ♪ - ♪ All right ♪ 47 00:02:25,463 --> 00:02:27,931 ♪ Here comes another one of those funky, funny mo'money shows ♪ 48 00:02:27,999 --> 00:02:29,523 ♪ A cast for laughs and talented roles ♪ 49 00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:31,727 ♪ And sisters with twisters for you been lookin', listener♪ 50 00:02:31,803 --> 00:02:33,771 ♪ It seems you don't believe so you can believe what I convince ya ♪ 51 00:02:33,838 --> 00:02:35,863 ♪ Some booty to your short and thought We'll make it snappy ♪ 52 00:02:35,940 --> 00:02:38,033 ♪ With jokes and pokes at folks to keep you happy ♪ 53 00:02:38,109 --> 00:02:40,304 ♪ No need to hold your remote control ♪ 54 00:02:40,378 --> 00:02:42,346 ♪ Chill This show's got soul ♪ 55 00:02:42,413 --> 00:02:44,506 ♪ All aboard, all aboard The train never troubles ♪ 56 00:02:44,582 --> 00:02:45,947 ♪ You'd better snuggle up couple up ♪ 57 00:02:46,017 --> 00:02:47,712 - ♪ On the double-dub-double ♪ - ♪ Yeah ♪ 58 00:02:47,785 --> 00:02:51,016 ♪ It's hard to believe but some of the best things in life are free ♪ 59 00:02:51,088 --> 00:02:53,113 ♪ So, fellas, grab your girl Tell her that you love her♪ 60 00:02:53,191 --> 00:02:55,557 ♪ 'Cause that's the way you're livin' when you're livin'in living color♪ 61 00:02:55,626 --> 00:02:58,959 ♪ Go, go, go, go go, go, go, go ♪ 62 00:02:59,030 --> 00:03:04,866 ♪ Go, go, go, go go, go, go, go ♪ 63 00:03:04,936 --> 00:03:09,373 ♪ Go, go, go, go go, go, go, go ♪ 64 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:10,668 ♪ Go, go, go ♪ 65 00:03:10,741 --> 00:03:12,538 ♪ Go, go, go, go ♪♪ 66 00:03:19,517 --> 00:03:22,953 [Announcer] America's wealthiest people have made their fortunes in real estate. 67 00:03:23,020 --> 00:03:27,957 Now one man can give you the safe, simple, sure way to financial freedom. 68 00:03:28,025 --> 00:03:30,220 Do you recognize this man? 69 00:03:30,294 --> 00:03:33,229 If you don't, you're not watching enough television. 70 00:03:33,297 --> 00:03:37,495 - He's Tommy Wu. - Hey, idiot, rotting in your own filth! 71 00:03:37,568 --> 00:03:41,299 What do you think of this excellent lifestyle I am living? 72 00:03:41,372 --> 00:03:45,536 It all belong to me because I am just so damn rich! 73 00:03:45,610 --> 00:03:49,046 When I come to this country, I was boat person. 74 00:03:49,113 --> 00:03:51,343 Now I person who own boat! 75 00:03:51,415 --> 00:03:55,408 You like diamond? You like pearl? You like hot tub? 76 00:03:55,486 --> 00:03:58,887 Then come to my seminar, you piece of animal dropping! 77 00:03:58,956 --> 00:04:01,424 And learn to be so damn rich like me. 78 00:04:01,492 --> 00:04:04,859 And after all that, you're just so damn rich. 79 00:04:04,929 --> 00:04:10,128 Mr. Wu, excuse me. I'm sorry. L-I just don't completely understand. 80 00:04:10,201 --> 00:04:12,795 Here all you need to understand. 81 00:04:12,870 --> 00:04:16,237 You just an insignificant hair on toilet of life! 82 00:04:16,307 --> 00:04:20,767 But I know how you feel. I was a brain-dead loser like you. 83 00:04:20,845 --> 00:04:23,609 Then one day I got a letter. My uncle was dead. 84 00:04:23,681 --> 00:04:26,707 And he left me, Tommy Wu, $10 million. 85 00:04:26,784 --> 00:04:29,275 Why can't you do that? 86 00:04:29,353 --> 00:04:31,321 What's stopping you from being rich? 87 00:04:33,658 --> 00:04:36,718 I took the Tommy Wu Seminar, and two days later... 88 00:04:36,794 --> 00:04:40,252 I lost my entire family in a horrible car accident. 89 00:04:40,331 --> 00:04:45,064 But I made $7 million. Thank you, Tommy Wu. 90 00:04:45,136 --> 00:04:47,434 Thank you, genius. 91 00:04:50,541 --> 00:04:53,510 Don't move! Shut up and lay there! 92 00:04:53,578 --> 00:04:57,014 You are nothing but a love pillow for Tommy Wu. 93 00:04:57,081 --> 00:05:01,814 And you, you're so fat and lazy, you stink like roadkill. 94 00:05:01,886 --> 00:05:05,117 If I saw you crossing a road, I would swerve to kill you. 95 00:05:05,189 --> 00:05:08,681 Take a shower, change your clothes and come to my seminar. 96 00:05:08,759 --> 00:05:11,250 Learn the secret ofTommy Wu. 97 00:05:11,329 --> 00:05:13,263 [Announcer] Don't be stupid. 98 00:05:13,331 --> 00:05:15,424 Take the Tommy Wu Seminar this Saturday... 99 00:05:15,499 --> 00:05:18,491 at the parking lot behind Bob's House of Value. 100 00:05:18,569 --> 00:05:21,299 - You'll learn how to be... - Just so damn rich! 101 00:05:25,309 --> 00:05:29,746 ♪♪ [Nonsensical Humming] 102 00:05:29,814 --> 00:05:34,444 - You know, it's gonna take five clowns to do this act. - Yep. 103 00:05:34,518 --> 00:05:36,952 Yeah, where's that replacement clown you were supposed to find? 104 00:05:37,021 --> 00:05:38,955 There he is! 105 00:05:39,023 --> 00:05:43,221 Hey, you're late! We go on in one minute. 106 00:05:43,294 --> 00:05:46,286 His name is Homey D. Clown. I'm his parole officer. 107 00:05:46,364 --> 00:05:51,097 He'll be filling in here as part of the work release program. Just keep an eye on him, huh? 108 00:05:51,168 --> 00:05:53,102 I gotcha. 109 00:05:53,170 --> 00:05:55,104 - Peckerwood. - Put her there, pal. 110 00:05:55,172 --> 00:05:57,106 - [Buzzes] - Ah, gotcha! 111 00:05:57,174 --> 00:05:59,267 Beep, beep. Just checkin'. [Chuckles] 112 00:05:59,343 --> 00:06:02,904 You check again, I'm gonna bust your goofy ass. 113 00:06:02,980 --> 00:06:06,074 [Chuckles] Let me give you a little clown advice, Homey. 114 00:06:06,150 --> 00:06:08,812 Now, if it bends, that's funny. 115 00:06:08,886 --> 00:06:11,446 But if it breaks, that ain't funny. [Chuckles] 116 00:06:11,522 --> 00:06:14,616 What if I snap your neck? Is that funny? 117 00:06:14,692 --> 00:06:17,422 Yeah, well, I'll have to check my clown book on that one. 118 00:06:17,495 --> 00:06:21,989 [Announcer] Let's give a rousing welcome for Chuckles and his friends.! 119 00:06:22,066 --> 00:06:24,398 ♪♪ [Fanfare] 120 00:06:30,341 --> 00:06:34,038 [Children Laughing] 121 00:06:37,348 --> 00:06:40,181 [Children Laughing] 122 00:06:44,789 --> 00:06:46,882 Quit pushin', man! 123 00:06:46,957 --> 00:06:50,757 [Children Laughing] 124 00:06:52,730 --> 00:06:54,698 Let me get this straight. 125 00:06:54,765 --> 00:06:57,461 Does this job require me to debase and degrade myself... 126 00:06:57,535 --> 00:06:59,765 for the amusement of these little childrens? 127 00:06:59,837 --> 00:07:01,930 Yep, you got it, kid. [Chuckles] 128 00:07:02,006 --> 00:07:04,406 You're doin' fine. Now you're gettin' some laughs. 129 00:07:04,475 --> 00:07:07,933 Just remember: One, Chuckles is the star of the show; 130 00:07:08,012 --> 00:07:12,949 two, Chuckles takes the hits, and Chuckles gets the laughs; 131 00:07:13,017 --> 00:07:14,746 and three... 132 00:07:14,819 --> 00:07:17,151 And three, if Homey don't like it... 133 00:07:17,221 --> 00:07:19,155 Homey won't play it. 134 00:07:20,491 --> 00:07:22,925 Yeah, well, uh, we'll get back to that later. 135 00:07:22,993 --> 00:07:25,461 ♪♪ [Nonsensical Humming] 136 00:07:25,529 --> 00:07:29,522 Hey, kids, who wants to see Flippo the Clown... 137 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:34,037 do a triple back somersault into this little glass of water? 138 00:07:34,105 --> 00:07:36,733 - [Cheering] - Can't hear you, kids. 139 00:07:36,807 --> 00:07:40,470 - [All] We do! - [Cheering Continues] 140 00:07:40,544 --> 00:07:42,535 You all ready to see Flippo have a ball? 141 00:07:42,613 --> 00:07:44,444 [All] Yeah! 142 00:07:44,515 --> 00:07:46,779 - [Bell Dings] - [Screaming] 143 00:07:46,851 --> 00:07:48,785 [Children Laughing] 144 00:07:48,853 --> 00:07:53,790 You know, kids, Homey's kind of bein' a bad clown. 145 00:07:53,858 --> 00:07:57,521 [Chuckles] Now, you know what we do to bad clowns? 146 00:07:57,595 --> 00:08:00,962 - [All] What? - [Chuckles] 147 00:08:01,031 --> 00:08:04,523 - Now that was funny. [Chuckles] - [Children Laughing] 148 00:08:04,602 --> 00:08:09,039 Now watch the bad clown retaliate with a little magic trick. 149 00:08:09,106 --> 00:08:12,405 I'm gonna make the funny clown here disappear. 150 00:08:12,476 --> 00:08:14,467 Abracadabra, abracadan. 151 00:08:14,545 --> 00:08:17,412 Get your ass outta here as fast as you can. 152 00:08:17,481 --> 00:08:20,416 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Now what did I tell you, huh? 153 00:08:20,484 --> 00:08:22,645 I said if it breaks, that ain't funny. 154 00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:26,850 Now, Chuckles is the star of the show. We'll get back to you later. 155 00:08:26,924 --> 00:08:30,826 - Okay, kids! - [Cheering] 156 00:08:30,895 --> 00:08:35,093 - Who wants to see Chuckles fly? - We do! 157 00:08:35,166 --> 00:08:38,363 I can't hear you, kids. Who wants to see Chuckles fly? 158 00:08:38,435 --> 00:08:40,960 [Children] We do.! 159 00:08:41,038 --> 00:08:45,099 Now, just light the fuse, and don't do anything else, you bonehead. You got it? 160 00:08:45,176 --> 00:08:47,440 Sure. You want me to take orders from you... 161 00:08:47,511 --> 00:08:50,446 and let you tell me what a clown is really supposed to do... 162 00:08:50,514 --> 00:08:54,610 and completely repress my own creative impulse to satisfy your clown ego. 163 00:08:54,685 --> 00:08:56,915 What do you mean, bonehead? 164 00:08:56,987 --> 00:08:59,285 - Get inside the damn cannon. - [Children Shouting] 165 00:09:00,791 --> 00:09:04,852 It's time for Homey to have some good ol'jailhouse fun. 166 00:09:04,929 --> 00:09:06,863 Hey, hey, hey! 167 00:09:06,931 --> 00:09:10,890 So, what have we learned, if nothing else, little children? 168 00:09:10,968 --> 00:09:12,731 [Together] What, Homey? 169 00:09:12,803 --> 00:09:15,101 That just because I look like a clown... 170 00:09:15,172 --> 00:09:17,732 don't mean you can treat me like one. 171 00:09:17,808 --> 00:09:22,245 - [Laughing, Cheering] - [Nonsensical Humming] 172 00:09:22,313 --> 00:09:24,907 [Chuckles, Coughs] 173 00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:27,644 Okay, while we're sweeping up what's left of Chuckles... 174 00:09:27,718 --> 00:09:30,414 why don't we sing the Chuckles the Clown song? 175 00:09:30,487 --> 00:09:32,921 [Cheering] Yeah! 176 00:09:32,990 --> 00:09:36,050 Sing along with me. ♪ Chuckles the Clown ♪ 177 00:09:36,126 --> 00:09:37,991 ♪ Chuckles the Clown ♪ 178 00:09:38,062 --> 00:09:41,463 - ♪ Loved to mess around ♪ - ♪ Loved to mess around ♪ 179 00:09:41,532 --> 00:09:44,763 ♪ That's why Chuckles is splattered on the ground ♪ 180 00:09:44,835 --> 00:09:48,396 ♪ That's why Chuckles is splattered on the ground ♪ 181 00:09:48,472 --> 00:09:51,407 ♪ He thought I was his tool He could treat me like a fool ♪ 182 00:09:51,475 --> 00:09:53,909 ♪ But Homey showed him that he ain't nobody's sucker ♪ 183 00:09:53,978 --> 00:09:57,573 ♪ And won't be ill-treated by no low-life two-dollar minimum-wage-makin'jackass ♪ 184 00:09:57,648 --> 00:10:00,412 Y'all better sing this damn song. 185 00:10:00,484 --> 00:10:03,817 ♪♪ [Singing Incoherently] 186 00:10:06,857 --> 00:10:09,291 - A'ight, that's close enough. - Yeah! 187 00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:13,353 ♪♪ [Nonsensical Humming] 188 00:10:13,430 --> 00:10:16,661 [Cheering] 189 00:10:16,734 --> 00:10:19,760 ♪♪ [Hip-Hop] 190 00:10:42,793 --> 00:10:44,727 ♪♪ [Ends] 191 00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:50,931 ♪♪ [Fanfare] 192 00:10:54,471 --> 00:10:56,632 For years now, black entrepreneurs... 193 00:10:56,707 --> 00:11:00,541 have greatly contributed to the success of big business in this country... 194 00:11:00,611 --> 00:11:04,411 without receiving full credit for some of their groundbreaking innovations. 195 00:11:05,783 --> 00:11:09,446 In July of 1979,JeromeJohnson worked for Zack's Auto. 196 00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:13,047 While performing some routine maintenance, he made a trendsetting discovery. 197 00:11:13,123 --> 00:11:15,785 Hey, Jerome, man, now look. Be careful, man. 198 00:11:15,859 --> 00:11:19,124 I tried to get that nut off the oil pan earlier, but it was just on too tight. 199 00:11:19,196 --> 00:11:21,130 Hey, man, I know what I'm doing. 200 00:11:21,198 --> 00:11:23,632 I've been doing oil changes since I was 13. 201 00:11:23,701 --> 00:11:26,534 See, all I gotta do is get a good grip on this... 202 00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:28,798 [Grunting] 203 00:11:28,872 --> 00:11:31,306 Got it! 204 00:11:31,375 --> 00:11:33,639 Hey, man, what's... Hey, what's up? 205 00:11:33,711 --> 00:11:36,703 Look at my hair, man! I got a date in a half an hour, man! 206 00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:41,649 Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold it one second, Jerome, man. Yo, take a look in the mirror. 207 00:11:41,719 --> 00:11:45,280 - Oh! - It looks all the way live! 208 00:11:45,356 --> 00:11:47,654 Oh, yeah! That's all right. 209 00:11:47,725 --> 00:11:49,989 [Narrator] It was at that moment, thatJerome realized... 210 00:11:50,060 --> 00:11:52,995 he had discovered a new hairstyle. 211 00:11:53,063 --> 00:11:56,123 - Y'all have a good time now. - All right, man. 212 00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:58,430 I just love your hair, Jerry. 213 00:11:59,937 --> 00:12:02,167 [Smacking] 214 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:05,574 Pull! 215 00:12:05,642 --> 00:12:07,872 So today we salute JeromeJohnson... 216 00:12:07,945 --> 00:12:10,311 inventor of theJheri Curl. 217 00:12:12,182 --> 00:12:16,676 I'm Tommy Davidson, and this has been another great moment in black history. 218 00:12:25,977 --> 00:12:30,038 Hello, and welcome to Ebony, Jet, Essence, Right On.! Showcase. 219 00:12:30,115 --> 00:12:32,276 I'm your host, Louie Bedford. 220 00:12:32,350 --> 00:12:35,842 Tonight, in the tradition of Spike Lee, John Singleton and Matty Rich... 221 00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:38,651 we're going to meet one of the newest young black filmmakers... 222 00:12:38,723 --> 00:12:40,691 to make his mark in Hollywood. 223 00:12:40,759 --> 00:12:43,057 We're on location on the set of his latest film. 224 00:12:43,128 --> 00:12:48,828 Please give a warm Ebony, Jet, Essence, Right On.! Showcase welcome toJameelJamaal. 225 00:12:48,900 --> 00:12:52,961 Jameel, thanks for joining us. You seem awful young to be a filmmaker. 226 00:12:53,038 --> 00:12:54,972 Only seven years old. 227 00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:58,976 See, that's where you're wrong. I'm seven and a half. 228 00:12:59,044 --> 00:13:02,673 Okay, seven and a half, and you already have your own production company? 229 00:13:02,747 --> 00:13:06,581 That's right. It's called Forty Candy Bars and a Bike. 230 00:13:06,651 --> 00:13:09,484 You see, I started this company... 231 00:13:09,554 --> 00:13:13,149 'cause there's no blacks in kids' TV. 232 00:13:13,225 --> 00:13:16,353 - Can you give us an example? - Yeah. The Flintstones. 233 00:13:16,428 --> 00:13:20,489 Are you telling me there were no blacks in the caveman times? 234 00:13:20,565 --> 00:13:23,193 Where the hell did Fred get those ribs? 235 00:13:23,268 --> 00:13:25,463 Them big ones that tipped over his car? 236 00:13:25,537 --> 00:13:28,301 You don't get those at the mall, man! 237 00:13:28,373 --> 00:13:31,342 But that's just one example. 238 00:13:31,409 --> 00:13:36,346 Okay, what about TheJetsons? What, there's no black people in the future either? 239 00:13:36,414 --> 00:13:41,750 Man, all they had to do was flip two letters, and Elroy could have been Leroy. 240 00:13:41,820 --> 00:13:46,519 So you're saying there are no black characters in children's programming? 241 00:13:46,591 --> 00:13:51,654 Just one... the brother on The Roadrunner, Willie Coyote. 242 00:13:51,730 --> 00:13:55,962 Oh, you mean Wile E. Coyote. He's a brother? 243 00:13:56,034 --> 00:13:58,434 Yeah. And look what they did to him. 244 00:13:58,503 --> 00:14:02,462 He didn't have no job, he was always buyin' stuff... 245 00:14:02,541 --> 00:14:05,305 you never know where he got the money... 246 00:14:05,377 --> 00:14:09,245 and all he wanted was a little golden bird for dinner. 247 00:14:09,314 --> 00:14:12,875 I can go on. I've got charts, graphs... 248 00:14:12,951 --> 00:14:17,047 diagrams and reports to back up what I'm sayin'. 249 00:14:17,122 --> 00:14:21,388 - Well, let's see 'em. - Uh, my dog threw up on 'em. 250 00:14:21,459 --> 00:14:26,328 Now, many have called you the young Spike Lee, the nextJohn Singleton. 251 00:14:26,398 --> 00:14:29,697 That stinks, man! I'm nothin' like them. 252 00:14:29,768 --> 00:14:33,795 They don't understand my pain, my suffering. 253 00:14:33,872 --> 00:14:37,740 I can't drive. I can't stay up past 8:00. 254 00:14:37,809 --> 00:14:40,903 Man, I'm wearing Care Bear underpants. 255 00:14:40,979 --> 00:14:43,413 I understand, Jameel, we have a clip from your film. 256 00:14:43,481 --> 00:14:45,847 Would you mind setting this up for us? 257 00:14:45,917 --> 00:14:49,318 Sure. I made this movie for my people: The kids. 258 00:14:49,387 --> 00:14:53,824 It's a story of a boy who stands up for his rights against the Man. 259 00:14:53,892 --> 00:14:56,656 It's called The Three Little Pigs. 260 00:14:58,430 --> 00:15:01,991 - Open up in there! - We know this is a Crackerjack house. 261 00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:04,297 No way, you three little pigs! 262 00:15:04,369 --> 00:15:07,270 You're not gonna treat me like you treat Willie Coyote. 263 00:15:07,339 --> 00:15:11,298 That's it. If you don't open up, we're gonna huff and puff and run your butt in. 264 00:15:11,376 --> 00:15:14,743 Just because I'm black doesn't mean I'm a Crackerjack dealer. 265 00:15:14,813 --> 00:15:18,340 I'm a positive role model. I'm not afraid of nothing. 266 00:15:18,416 --> 00:15:20,611 Oh, that's it. I'm gonna tell your mom. 267 00:15:20,685 --> 00:15:24,621 [Screaming] 268 00:15:24,689 --> 00:15:28,523 There's a very powerful message there, Jameel. What does it mean? 269 00:15:28,593 --> 00:15:30,527 The message is this: 270 00:15:30,595 --> 00:15:36,033 Buy my Three Little Pigs hats, shirts and video games. 271 00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:38,569 I learned that from Spike Lee. 272 00:15:38,637 --> 00:15:43,233 And watch for my next film, Little Red Riding in the Hood. 273 00:15:43,308 --> 00:15:46,243 Thank you, Jameel, for joining us. And thank you. 274 00:15:46,311 --> 00:15:50,077 Join me again on the Ebony, Jet, Essence, Right On.! Showcase. 275 00:15:50,148 --> 00:15:53,549 I'm your host, Louie Bedford. Good night. 276 00:15:58,490 --> 00:16:02,927 ♪♪ [Hip-hop] 277 00:16:25,784 --> 00:16:28,651 Okay, kids, let's get ready for Santa Claus. 278 00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:31,621 Everybody stand back. I'm gonna light the fireplace. 279 00:16:33,591 --> 00:16:36,389 Ho, ho, ho and howdy, folks. 280 00:16:36,461 --> 00:16:38,691 Make way for Fire Marshall Santa. 281 00:16:38,763 --> 00:16:42,062 - Hey, kids, look who's here! - [All Cheering] 282 00:16:43,301 --> 00:16:47,704 - Are you really Santa Claus? - [Laughing] 283 00:16:47,772 --> 00:16:51,708 Are you joking? Santa Claus is just a marketing tool for big business. 284 00:16:51,776 --> 00:16:53,710 Wake up, son. 285 00:16:53,778 --> 00:16:57,976 No, I'm here to make sure your holiday season is a safe one. 286 00:16:58,049 --> 00:17:01,644 'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house... 287 00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:05,212 were de-de-deadly fire hazards! 288 00:17:05,290 --> 00:17:10,159 Now, what kind of snack were kids gonna leave for this "so-called" St. Nick? 289 00:17:10,228 --> 00:17:13,220 - Cookies! - Sounds delicious. 290 00:17:13,298 --> 00:17:15,357 But what if the jar is empty this year... 291 00:17:15,433 --> 00:17:18,630 and you decide to make him a waffle instead? 292 00:17:18,703 --> 00:17:21,536 You pull out your waffle iron, you go to pour in the mix... 293 00:17:21,606 --> 00:17:24,507 somebody says, " Hey, look. Rudolph's pinching a loaf on the neighbor's lawn." 294 00:17:24,576 --> 00:17:27,545 - Where? Where? - [Sizzling] 295 00:17:27,612 --> 00:17:30,240 Fire Marshall Santa, doesn't that hurt? 296 00:17:30,315 --> 00:17:33,284 Like the dickens. [Laughs] 297 00:17:35,086 --> 00:17:38,715 Quick! Somebody hand me the Log Cabin syrup! 298 00:17:38,790 --> 00:17:41,088 [Laughing] 299 00:17:41,159 --> 00:17:43,889 Hey, listen, buddy. They said you were supposed to bring toys for the kids. 300 00:17:43,962 --> 00:17:49,229 Take a chill pill, Dad. You can't sing "Jingle Bells" when your head's on fire. 301 00:17:49,300 --> 00:17:52,292 Say, that's a beautiful tree you've got there. 302 00:17:52,370 --> 00:17:54,304 Let Santa show you something! 303 00:17:55,940 --> 00:18:00,877 Now, let's just say the guy who sold you this Christmas tree... 304 00:18:00,945 --> 00:18:05,575 is an avid bear hunter, and he threw in a little something extra. 305 00:18:05,650 --> 00:18:09,381 You stick your leg in there, trying to locate the biggest present... 306 00:18:09,454 --> 00:18:12,446 [Screaming, Gasping] 307 00:18:12,524 --> 00:18:14,992 [Groaning] 308 00:18:15,059 --> 00:18:17,493 Fire Marshall Santa, are you okay? 309 00:18:17,562 --> 00:18:20,190 [Laughing] 310 00:18:20,265 --> 00:18:25,430 Ho, ho, ho. Nothing a little egg nog and Demerol won't fix. 311 00:18:25,503 --> 00:18:28,063 But what about our toys, Santa? 312 00:18:28,139 --> 00:18:30,630 I bet I know what you want, little darling. 313 00:18:30,708 --> 00:18:32,107 What? 314 00:18:34,312 --> 00:18:36,507 A Barbie Power Wheels Car. 315 00:18:36,581 --> 00:18:39,482 - Oh, yeah! - Hold it, Curly Sue! 316 00:18:39,551 --> 00:18:42,213 A go-cart like this can be a lot of fun... 317 00:18:42,287 --> 00:18:46,951 but it can also be a fiery death trap on a highway to hell. 318 00:18:47,025 --> 00:18:50,085 Let's just say there's an outbreak of psychosis at the North Pole... 319 00:18:50,161 --> 00:18:52,789 and a demented elf switches your little battery... 320 00:18:52,864 --> 00:18:55,833 with a V-6, 350-horsepower, fuel-injected... 321 00:18:55,900 --> 00:19:00,360 t-t-turbo engine... like so! 322 00:19:00,438 --> 00:19:03,168 You're having a manic-depressive episode. 323 00:19:03,241 --> 00:19:06,176 - [Engine Starts] - You think you're Tom Cruise in Days of Thunder. 324 00:19:06,244 --> 00:19:09,736 You jump in the car, put your pedal to the metal, and hold on, Barbie! 325 00:19:09,814 --> 00:19:12,681 [Tires Screeching] 326 00:19:15,053 --> 00:19:18,989 Oh, my God! You put a hole in my living room wall! 327 00:19:19,057 --> 00:19:24,017 You call it a hole; I call it a fire exit. 328 00:19:24,095 --> 00:19:26,689 You might want to get those wheels aligned. 329 00:19:26,764 --> 00:19:31,861 Okay, children, gather around while Santa gives you the safety tip that could save Christmas. 330 00:19:31,936 --> 00:19:36,032 Now, what do you like to roast on an open fire? 331 00:19:36,107 --> 00:19:39,167 - Chestnuts! - You got it, Peanuts gang! 332 00:19:39,244 --> 00:19:41,542 But say you're a World War II veteran... 333 00:19:41,613 --> 00:19:44,582 and you haven't cleaned out your pockets since D-day! 334 00:19:44,649 --> 00:19:47,880 You're searching around in there, trying to come up with a chestnut... 335 00:19:47,952 --> 00:19:50,819 and you accidentally pull out a live hand grenade. 336 00:19:50,889 --> 00:19:53,483 - [All Gasping] - Santa, don't! No! 337 00:19:53,558 --> 00:19:56,823 Everybody relax! Take a chill pill, would you? 338 00:19:56,895 --> 00:19:59,056 I am a fire marshall. 339 00:19:59,130 --> 00:20:00,791 Let's get out! 340 00:20:17,148 --> 00:20:19,742 Can't fool Fire Marshall Santa. 341 00:20:19,817 --> 00:20:21,910 He sees you when you're sleeping... 342 00:20:21,986 --> 00:20:23,954 and he knows when you're about to combust. 343 00:20:24,022 --> 00:20:26,855 Idiot! I don't have any fire insurance! 344 00:20:26,925 --> 00:20:30,326 Well, now you know what to ask for next Christmas. 345 00:20:30,395 --> 00:20:32,659 - [Mutters] - [Laughing] 346 00:20:32,730 --> 00:20:36,666 Hey, there's some young tykes building a snowman. 347 00:20:36,734 --> 00:20:38,964 [Blows Whistle] 348 00:20:39,037 --> 00:20:41,562 Hold it right there, kids! 349 00:20:41,639 --> 00:20:45,006 I think Frosty could use a much bigger nose. 350 00:20:47,979 --> 00:20:49,913 Let Santa show you something! 351 00:20:52,050 --> 00:20:55,383 - [All Screaming] - [Explosion] 352 00:20:57,889 --> 00:21:01,086 Hey, everybody, we'd like to introduce to you our very special guest. 353 00:21:01,159 --> 00:21:03,286 - Derrick Brown. Say hi. - Hi. 354 00:21:03,361 --> 00:21:06,524 - Hey! - Our new honorary cast member. 355 00:21:06,598 --> 00:21:09,362 And on behalf of everybody here at In Living Color... 356 00:21:09,434 --> 00:21:12,460 - we'd like to wish you a very happy holiday. - Happy holidays. 357 00:21:15,506 --> 00:21:20,500 ♪♪ [Hip-hop] 31032

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