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1
00:00:01,435 --> 00:00:04,369
[theme music playing]
2
00:00:07,173 --> 00:00:10,108
[Middle Eastern music playing]
3
00:00:28,996 --> 00:00:32,609
- [music stops]
- FOOD, MORE FOOD, I'M
RUNNING OUT OF FOOD.
4
00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:34,311
WHAT KIND OF A HOTEL IS THIS?
5
00:00:34,335 --> 00:00:37,213
- [knocks on door]
- THAT'S THE ROOM SERVICE.
6
00:00:37,237 --> 00:00:39,170
[chuckles]
7
00:00:45,112 --> 00:00:47,057
GOOD AFTERNOON.
I'M BILL BAMFORD,
8
00:00:47,081 --> 00:00:48,858
PRESIDENT OF THE
RAMAT-AMERICAN OIL COMPANY.
9
00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:52,217
- I'D LIKE
TO SEE PRINCE SULLY.
- COME IN, MR. BAMFORD.
10
00:00:55,489 --> 00:00:57,467
GOOD AFTERNOON, YOUR MAJESTY.
11
00:00:57,491 --> 00:01:01,559
IT'S A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU. I'M HERE
TO WELCOME YOU TO THE UNITED STATES.
12
00:01:03,530 --> 00:01:05,275
THANK YOU.
13
00:01:05,299 --> 00:01:08,611
YOUR MAJESTY, MY COMPANY FEELS
THAT IF YOU COULD GET TOGETHER...
14
00:01:08,635 --> 00:01:12,415
MR. BAMFORD, PLEASE, I WILL
DISCUSS ANYTHING YOU WISH
15
00:01:12,439 --> 00:01:14,550
AS SOON AS I HAVE
FINISHED MY LUNCH.
16
00:01:14,574 --> 00:01:17,454
- AND THAT WILL BE...
- IN ABOUT FOUR HOURS.
17
00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:19,177
[knocks on door]
18
00:01:21,849 --> 00:01:25,495
- DO YOU WANT SOME HELP?
- NO. IT'S A REFRIGERATOR,
YOUR HIGHNESS.
19
00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:28,320
OH, UH, PUT IT IN
THE CORNER, PLEASE.
20
00:01:34,528 --> 00:01:38,597
TELL ME, ARE ALL YOUR
AMERICAN GIRLS LIKE THAT?
21
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:43,302
NO, YOUR HIGHNESS, SOME
ARE REDHEADS AND BRUNETTES.
22
00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:47,016
WHY DON'T YOU MAKE
YOURSELF AT HOME?
23
00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:50,086
UH, PUT YOUR COAT IN THE CLOSET.
24
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:52,043
THANK YOU, YOUR HIGHNESS.
25
00:02:10,264 --> 00:02:13,776
THIS IS 86 CALLING CONTROL.
THIS IS 86 CALLING CONTROL.
26
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,878
COME IN, CONTROL.
27
00:02:15,902 --> 00:02:19,416
HELLO, CHIEF? MAX. I'M IN
THE PRINCE'S HOTEL ROOM.
28
00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:22,952
WE THINK THERE'S A PLOT AFOOT TO KIDNAP
HIM SO DON'T LET HIM OUT OF YOUR SIGHT.
29
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:25,721
I'VE CHECKED OUT EVERY
CORNER OF THE HOTEL
30
00:02:25,745 --> 00:02:28,891
AND THERE ARE ABSOLUTELY NO
SUSPICIOUS CHARACTERS ANYWHERE.
31
00:02:28,915 --> 00:02:31,027
[grunts]
32
00:02:31,051 --> 00:02:33,663
[grunts, screams]
33
00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:36,354
CARLA, THE UNIFORM.
34
00:02:44,264 --> 00:02:46,242
CARLA, HELP ME WITH HIM.
35
00:02:46,266 --> 00:02:49,346
I'LL KEEP MY EYE ON HIM EVERY
SINGLE MINUTE OF THE TIME, CHIEF.
36
00:02:54,074 --> 00:02:56,018
I ONLY HAVE ONE
MESSAGE TO REPORT...
37
00:02:56,042 --> 00:02:59,889
"DON'T WORRY."
REPEAT: "DON'T WORRY."
38
00:02:59,913 --> 00:03:02,547
- WHAT'S HE DOING NOW?
- HANG ON, CHIEF,
I'LL SEE.
39
00:03:16,062 --> 00:03:18,575
CHIEF, ABOUT THAT
MESSAGE I JUST GAVE YOU...
40
00:03:18,599 --> 00:03:20,577
CHANGE IT TO "WORRY."
41
00:03:20,601 --> 00:03:22,967
REPEAT: "WORRY."
42
00:03:27,474 --> 00:03:29,974
[theme music playing]
43
00:04:24,397 --> 00:04:28,344
MAX, TRY TO THINK HARD. WHAT
HAPPENED IN THAT HOTEL ROOM?
44
00:04:28,368 --> 00:04:30,212
HOW DID SULLY DISAPPEAR?
45
00:04:30,236 --> 00:04:32,548
THERE MUST BE SOME
CLUE THAT YOU OVERLOOKED.
46
00:04:32,572 --> 00:04:36,452
I'VE TOLD YOU, CHIEF... NOTHING
UNUSUAL HAPPENED IN THE HOTEL ROOM,
47
00:04:36,476 --> 00:04:38,754
EXCEPT THAT THE PRINCE
NEVER STOPPED EATING
48
00:04:38,778 --> 00:04:41,157
- FROM THE MOMENT I ENTERED.
- OF COURSE HE DIDN'T,
49
00:04:41,181 --> 00:04:44,460
- HE'S TRYING
TO GAIN 35 LBS.!
- OF COURSE...
50
00:04:44,484 --> 00:04:48,664
- WHY?
- MAX, LOOK, THIS IS RAMAT,
THE PRINCE'S COUNTRY.
51
00:04:48,688 --> 00:04:51,634
EVERY YEAR HIS FOLLOWERS
GIVE HIM HIS WEIGHT IN GOLD.
52
00:04:51,658 --> 00:04:54,670
THAT'S THE MONEY THAT
KEEPS THEIR COUNTRY SOLVENT!
53
00:04:54,694 --> 00:04:58,463
OH, SO IT'S THE
SURVIVAL OF THE FATTEST.
54
00:05:00,334 --> 00:05:02,012
A LITTLE PLAY ON WORDS.
55
00:05:02,036 --> 00:05:04,680
IF THE PRINCE DOESN'T
WEIGH 300 LBS...
56
00:05:04,704 --> 00:05:08,518
- NO GOLD.
- AND A NEW FACTION TAKES
OVER THE GOVERNMENT,
57
00:05:08,542 --> 00:05:12,188
A FACTION THAT HAS ALREADY DEMONSTRATED
ITS UNFRIENDLINESS TO THE UNITED STATES.
58
00:05:12,212 --> 00:05:16,059
WELL, CHIEF, THEN THAT MEANS THAT
RAMAT'S OIL SUPPLY TO THE UNITED STATES
59
00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:18,795
- WILL BE CUT OFF.
- THAT'S THE PICTURE.
60
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:21,630
WELL, THEN, IF THE PRINCE
HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED...
61
00:05:21,654 --> 00:05:23,666
WHY, THEY'LL BE
TRYING TO REDUCE HIM.
62
00:05:23,690 --> 00:05:26,836
THAT'S RIGHT. WE HAVE
EXACTLY 48 HOURS TO FIND HIM,
63
00:05:26,860 --> 00:05:28,871
BRING HIM BACK AND FATTEN
HIM UP FOR THE WEIGH-IN.
64
00:05:28,895 --> 00:05:31,407
NOW, MAX, TRY TO THINK HARD.
65
00:05:31,431 --> 00:05:33,442
ISN'T THERE SOME
LITTLE SOMETHING
66
00:05:33,466 --> 00:05:36,906
THAT HAPPENED IN THAT HOTEL
ROOM THAT YOU MAY HAVE FORGOTTEN?
67
00:05:40,907 --> 00:05:43,086
SORRY, CHIEF.
68
00:05:43,110 --> 00:05:46,655
I'M AFRAID I'LL JUST
HAVE TO SUBMIT MYSELF...
69
00:05:46,679 --> 00:05:48,925
- TO THE GRILL TEAM.
- THE GRILL TEAM?
70
00:05:48,949 --> 00:05:51,160
BUT THEY'RE ONLY USED TO GET
INFORMATION OUT OF ENEMY AGENTS.
71
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:52,929
WE'VE NEVER USED
THEM ON OUR OWN MEN.
72
00:05:52,953 --> 00:05:56,766
I KNOW, CHIEF, BUT IF THEY CAN
GET INFORMATION OUT OF THE ENEMY,
73
00:05:56,790 --> 00:06:00,036
THEN MAYBE THEY CAN
GET SOMETHING OUT OF ME.
74
00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:02,872
MAYBE THERE'S AN IMPORTANT CLUE
75
00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:05,207
LOCKED IN MY UNCONSCIOUS MIND.
76
00:06:05,231 --> 00:06:06,731
[grunts]
77
00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:14,039
AGENT 86, YOU MUST
REMEMBER SOMETHING.
78
00:06:16,844 --> 00:06:19,222
WATER, WATER...
79
00:06:19,246 --> 00:06:22,025
- I'VE GOTTA HAVE SOME WATER.
- HERE, MAX. THIS'LL HELP.
80
00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:24,027
DON'T GIVE ME ANY WATER, CHIEF!
81
00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:26,395
HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME
TO BREAK DOWN AND TALK?
82
00:06:26,419 --> 00:06:28,998
SORRY, MAX, I JUST CAN'T
THINK OF YOU AS AN...
83
00:06:29,022 --> 00:06:31,667
- AS AN ENEMY AGENT.
- [pants]
84
00:06:31,691 --> 00:06:33,336
THERE MUST BE SOMETHING,
85
00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:35,839
THERE MUST BE SOMETHING
UNUSUAL THAT I MISSED.
86
00:06:35,863 --> 00:06:38,474
PLEASE HIT ME JUST ONCE MORE.
87
00:06:38,498 --> 00:06:40,476
BUT, MAX, I CAN'T.
88
00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:42,746
MY HAND'S BEGINNING TO HURT.
89
00:06:42,770 --> 00:06:46,149
PLEASE, ONCE MORE, FOR CONTROL.
90
00:06:46,173 --> 00:06:48,051
MAX, THINK VERY CLEARLY...
91
00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:50,586
DID ANYTHING UNUSUAL
HAPPEN IN THE HOTEL ROOM?
92
00:06:50,610 --> 00:06:52,956
I'VE TRIED TO TELL
YOU 100 TIMES, CHIEF...
93
00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:55,424
NOTHING UNUSUAL HAPPENED!
94
00:06:55,448 --> 00:06:58,094
THE PRINCE WAS SITTING ON
THE SOFA; AND THE HAREM GIRL;
95
00:06:58,118 --> 00:07:00,196
AND THE BODYGUARD
WAS SERVING THE FOOD;
96
00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:02,966
AND THE CHAMBERMAID
CARRIED IN THE REFRIGERATOR.
97
00:07:02,990 --> 00:07:07,003
All three: THE CHAMBERMAID
CARRIED IN THE REFRIGERATOR?
98
00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:11,173
HOLD IT, CHIEF, I JUST
REMEMBERED SOMETHING UNUSUAL.
99
00:07:11,197 --> 00:07:15,645
THE CHAMBERMAID CARRIED
IN THE REFRIGERATOR.
100
00:07:15,669 --> 00:07:18,180
THE CHAMBERMAID
WITH SUPERSTRENGTH...
101
00:07:18,204 --> 00:07:20,182
[snaps fingers] OF COURSE,
MARY "JACK" ARMSTRONG.
102
00:07:20,206 --> 00:07:22,351
RIGHT. WHO?
103
00:07:22,375 --> 00:07:26,288
MARY JACK ARMSTRONG, THE STRONGEST
FEMALE COUNTERSPY IN THE WORLD.
104
00:07:26,312 --> 00:07:28,324
MAX, YOU'VE GOT TO
BE ESPECIALLY CAREFUL.
105
00:07:28,348 --> 00:07:30,582
SHE IS GORGEOUS AND DEADLY.
106
00:07:31,718 --> 00:07:34,118
SO AM I.
107
00:07:35,555 --> 00:07:38,422
YES, SLIP ON THIS
COAT, MR. SMART.
108
00:07:39,493 --> 00:07:41,037
NOW, LOOK LOOK LOOK...
109
00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:44,306
[chuckles] WE'VE SEWN A HOMING
DEVICE IN THIS SHOULDER.
110
00:07:44,330 --> 00:07:47,098
I'LL TURN IT ON BY
PRESSING THE BUTTON.
111
00:07:48,434 --> 00:07:50,412
IT WILL LET US KNOW
WHERE YOU ARE AT ALL TIMES.
112
00:07:50,436 --> 00:07:52,281
OH, YOU MEAN I JUST DO THIS.
113
00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:54,384
OH, NOW YOU'VE TURNED IT OFF.
114
00:07:54,408 --> 00:07:56,952
LEAVE IT OFF, MAX, UNTIL YOU
FIND OUT WHERE THE PRINCE IS.
115
00:07:56,976 --> 00:07:59,722
- THEN ACTIVATE IT,
AND WE MOVE IN.
- RIGHT, CHIEF.
116
00:07:59,746 --> 00:08:03,048
AND HERE IS A NEW
NECKTIE FOR YOU, MR. SMART.
117
00:08:05,118 --> 00:08:08,820
AN AVOCADO TIE WITH A GREY SUIT?
118
00:08:10,890 --> 00:08:13,503
WELL, I SUPPOSE
THIS WILL MAKE ME #11.
119
00:08:13,527 --> 00:08:15,404
- #11?
- YES, CHIEF.
120
00:08:15,428 --> 00:08:18,641
I AM ONE OF THE 10 BEST-DRESSED
SPIES IN THE COUNTRY.
121
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:22,378
OH, NO NO NO, THIS IS A VERY
POPULAR SHADE AMONG SCIENTISTS,
122
00:08:22,402 --> 00:08:26,315
AND IT'S NO ORDINARY TIE.
IT'S ACTUALLY A CONTAINER.
123
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:29,151
NOW THIS LIQUID IS
A NEWLY-DEVELOPED
124
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:31,754
INSTANT TRUTH SERUM.
125
00:08:31,778 --> 00:08:34,212
- POUR IT IN LIKE THIS...
- [trickling]
126
00:08:35,616 --> 00:08:38,327
THE LIQUID GOES THROUGH
THE TUBE IN THE BACK OF THE TIE,
127
00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:41,397
AND WHEN YOU TURN
128
00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:43,566
THE SPIGOT ON THE CLASP,
129
00:08:43,590 --> 00:08:46,836
THE LIQUID FLOWS OUT. [whistles]
130
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:50,306
IF YOU CAN GET THIS SERUM INTO SOMETHING
THAT MARY JACK ARMSTRONG WILL DRINK,
131
00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:53,042
YOU CAN FIND OUT IMMEDIATELY
WHERE SHE'S GOT THE PRINCE CAPTIVE.
132
00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:56,278
BUT YOU ONLY HAVE ABOUT
15 SECONDS TO QUESTION HER
133
00:08:56,302 --> 00:08:59,749
- BEFORE SHE'LL LOSE
CONSCIOUSNESS.
- GOT YA, CHIEF.
134
00:08:59,773 --> 00:09:01,751
CHIEF, DID YOU MAKE
MY HOTEL RESERVATIONS?
135
00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:04,387
YES, YOU HAVE THE SAME
ROOM THE PRINCE OCCUPIED.
136
00:09:04,411 --> 00:09:06,555
I THINK YOU'LL BE ABLE TO
CONTACT THEM FROM THERE.
137
00:09:06,579 --> 00:09:08,724
THE HOTEL IS ONLY
TWO BLOCKS FROM HERE,
138
00:09:08,748 --> 00:09:11,426
SO IF ANYTHING GOES WRONG
WE'LL BE THERE WITHIN A MINUTE.
139
00:09:11,450 --> 00:09:14,130
NOW, MAX, THIS IS
A DANGEROUS ONE.
140
00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:17,133
THIS WOMAN IS RUTHLESS
AND A POTENTIAL KILLER.
141
00:09:17,157 --> 00:09:19,869
YOU'LL BE RISKING YOUR
LIFE EVERY MOMENT.
142
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:22,471
AND...
143
00:09:22,495 --> 00:09:24,929
LOVING IT.
144
00:09:30,103 --> 00:09:32,648
IT'S IMPERATIVE WE CONTINUE
TO REDUCE THE PRINCE'S WEIGHT
145
00:09:32,672 --> 00:09:34,516
FOR ANOTHER 48 HOURS.
146
00:09:34,540 --> 00:09:36,318
BY THAT TIME NOTHING WILL HELP.
147
00:09:36,342 --> 00:09:39,643
I'M GOING DOWNSTAIRS TO
SEE WHAT SMART IS UP TO.
148
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:45,260
[knocks on door]
149
00:09:45,284 --> 00:09:47,218
COME IN.
150
00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:56,720
WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE THIS, SIR?
151
00:09:58,098 --> 00:10:01,276
I'M AFRAID YOU'VE MADE A MISTAKE.
I DIDN'T ORDER ANY CHAMPAGNE.
152
00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:04,580
WELL, IT'S COMPLIMENTS OF THE HOTEL...
YOU ARE OUR ONE-MILLIONTH GUEST.
153
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:08,617
OH, REALLY? I DIDN'T KNOW
THE HOTEL WAS THAT BIG.
154
00:10:08,641 --> 00:10:10,886
IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE
I CAN DO FOR YOU, SIR?
155
00:10:10,910 --> 00:10:12,555
UH...
156
00:10:12,579 --> 00:10:15,224
[grunting] YOU DON'T
HAPPEN TO HAVE...
157
00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:18,249
- A CORKSCREW, DO YOU?
- OH, I'LL DO IT
FOR YOU, SIR.
158
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,053
HERE YOU ARE.
159
00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:26,069
IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE I CAN DO?
160
00:10:26,093 --> 00:10:28,071
OH, WELL, AS LONG
AS YOU'RE HERE,
161
00:10:28,095 --> 00:10:29,738
WHY DON'T YOU HAVE
A DRINK WITH ME?
162
00:10:29,762 --> 00:10:31,407
I HAVE NO ONE
ELSE TO DRINK WITH.
163
00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:34,643
IT WOULD BE MY PLEASURE, SIR.
164
00:10:34,667 --> 00:10:38,314
THERE YOU ARE. I DON'T
BELIEVE I CAUGHT YOUR NAME.
165
00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:41,450
- MARY.
- MARY. AH!
166
00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:43,185
"MARY" IS A GRAND OLD NAME.
167
00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:45,654
WELL, MARY, HERE'S
TO YOUR STRENGTH...
168
00:10:45,678 --> 00:10:47,611
UH, YOUR HEALTH.
169
00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:54,763
- THANK YOU, MR...
- OH, I'M SORRY.
170
00:10:54,787 --> 00:10:57,099
UH... BILL BAMFORD,
171
00:10:57,123 --> 00:11:01,103
- PRESIDENT OF THE RAMAT-
AMERICAN OIL COMPANY.
- I'VE SEEN MR. BAMFORD.
172
00:11:01,127 --> 00:11:03,472
HE'S A TALL 60-YEAR-OLD
MAN WITH GREY HAIR.
173
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:06,875
- HE WAS A GUESTIN THE HOTEL ONCE.
- OH.
174
00:11:06,899 --> 00:11:09,211
WELL, HOW ABOUT FRED
LAMISTER, MUNITIONS?
175
00:11:09,235 --> 00:11:12,381
- I THINK
I'VE SEEN HIM.
- OH.
176
00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:14,650
HARRY SCHLURB, TOY MANUFACTURER?
177
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:17,686
- WELL...
- MERVIN GRIBBS, CALLING-
CARD MANUFACTURER?
178
00:11:17,710 --> 00:11:20,490
- I'VE NEVER MET
THE MAN.
- AH!
179
00:11:20,514 --> 00:11:23,648
THEN MEET MERVIN GRIBBS.
180
00:11:26,586 --> 00:11:29,120
HERE, LET ME FILL
YOUR GLASS FOR YOU.
181
00:11:31,658 --> 00:11:33,591
HERE WE ARE.
182
00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:37,840
OOPS, I'M TERRIBLY SORRY.
183
00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:39,509
COULD YOU GET A
TOWEL FOR ME, PLEASE?
184
00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:41,766
OH, YES.
185
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:51,020
[fizzing]
186
00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:54,456
- HERE YOU ARE, SIR.
- OH. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
187
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:57,492
OH, THERE YOU ARE.
188
00:11:57,516 --> 00:12:00,251
WON'T YOU SIT DOWN, PLEASE?
189
00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:08,480
IS THERE ANYTHING WRONG?
190
00:12:09,362 --> 00:12:12,074
UH, WELL, NO. UH, THE WINE
SEEMS A LITTLE STRONG.
191
00:12:12,098 --> 00:12:13,775
I THINK IT'S TRYING TO ESCAPE.
192
00:12:13,799 --> 00:12:15,666
OH.
193
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:18,848
1955...
194
00:12:18,872 --> 00:12:20,850
THAT WAS A TURBULENT YEAR.
195
00:12:20,874 --> 00:12:22,685
YOU SEEM TO KNOW A
GREAT DEAL ABOUT WINE.
196
00:12:22,709 --> 00:12:25,688
AS A MATTER OF FACT, I
SORT OF PRIDE MYSELF
197
00:12:25,712 --> 00:12:27,823
ON TRYING TO KNOW A
LITTLE BIT ABOUT EVERYTHING...
198
00:12:27,847 --> 00:12:31,394
WINE, WOMEN, FOOD.
199
00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:34,062
- WHAT ABOUT ART?
- ART?
200
00:12:34,086 --> 00:12:37,032
I'VE OFTEN WONDERED WHO PAINTED
THAT PICTURE ON THE WALL BEHIND YOU.
201
00:12:37,056 --> 00:12:39,101
I'VE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO
MAKE OUT THE SIGNATURE.
202
00:12:39,125 --> 00:12:41,626
- WHAT PICTURE?
- THERE.
203
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,745
WELL, I'M NOT QUITE SURE,
204
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:52,215
BUT I THINK IT PROBABLY
WAS THE SAME ARTIST
205
00:12:52,239 --> 00:12:54,606
THAT PAINTED THAT PICTURE
OVER THERE IN THE CORNER.
206
00:12:57,977 --> 00:13:00,256
HOW CLEVER OF YOU TO NOTICE.
207
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,558
THEN HE PROBABLY
WAS THE SAME ARTIST
208
00:13:02,582 --> 00:13:05,695
WHO WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR
THAT PICTURE OVER THE DESK.
209
00:13:05,719 --> 00:13:08,531
- WHAT PICTURE?
- THAT ONE.
210
00:13:08,555 --> 00:13:10,722
- DO I HAVE TO LOOK?
- YES.
211
00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:14,992
[scrapes]
212
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:19,575
- IS IT MY TURN?
- YES.
213
00:13:19,599 --> 00:13:21,666
OKAY.
214
00:13:25,838 --> 00:13:28,139
WELL, SHALL WE DRINK UP?
215
00:13:41,521 --> 00:13:43,499
WELL, MARY JACK ARMSTRONG,
216
00:13:43,523 --> 00:13:45,501
IT LOOKS LIKE I'VE
HAD THE LAST SWITCH.
217
00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:47,169
- DOES IT?
- YES.
218
00:13:47,193 --> 00:13:50,906
AND IN EXACTLY FIVE SECONDS,
WHEN THAT DRUG TAKES EFFECT,
219
00:13:50,930 --> 00:13:54,377
YOU WILL TELL ME EXACTLY
WHAT I WANT TO KNOW.
220
00:13:54,401 --> 00:13:56,812
YOU WILL TELL ME...
221
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,814
MY NAME IS MAXWELL
SMART, SECRET AGENT 86,
222
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:00,849
AND I WAS SENT HERE BY
CONTROL TO RESCUE THE PRINCE
223
00:14:00,873 --> 00:14:04,775
AND FATTEN HIM UP FOR THE WEIGH-IN,
AND YOU'LL NEVER GET ANYTHING OUT OF ME.
224
00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:21,737
IT'S WEARING OFF.
225
00:14:21,761 --> 00:14:24,774
- WHERE AM I?
- YOU'RE IN MY PRIVATE
MASSAGE PARLOR
226
00:14:24,798 --> 00:14:27,242
AND REDUCING SALON ON
THE TOP FLOOR OF THE HOTEL.
227
00:14:27,266 --> 00:14:29,244
WELL, I'LL JUST TAKE
A LITTLE RUBDOWN
228
00:14:29,268 --> 00:14:31,047
AND A FEW LAPS ON THE BIKE
229
00:14:31,071 --> 00:14:32,848
AND THEN I'M AFRAID
I'LL HAVE TO LEAVE.
230
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:36,052
VERY FUNNY, MR. SMART.
AND DON'T TRY TO GET FREE.
231
00:14:36,076 --> 00:14:37,920
YOU'LL ONLY HURT
YOURSELF IF YOU STRUGGLE.
232
00:14:37,944 --> 00:14:40,222
LATER ON WE'LL DISPOSE OF YOU.
233
00:14:40,246 --> 00:14:42,491
IS THERE ANYTHING
ELSE YOU'D LIKE TO SAY?
234
00:14:42,515 --> 00:14:45,528
YES. YOU'RE ALL UNDER ARREST.
235
00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:48,330
MR. SMART, I DON'T
THINK YOU UNDERSTAND.
236
00:14:48,354 --> 00:14:51,299
YOU ARE MY PRISONER, AND THE
ONLY REASON YOU'RE STILL ALIVE
237
00:14:51,323 --> 00:14:54,202
IS BECAUSE NOW THAT WE
KNOW CONTROL IS ON OUR TRAIL
238
00:14:54,226 --> 00:14:56,605
YOU CAN HELP US TO LEAD
THEM DOWN A BLIND ALLEY.
239
00:14:56,629 --> 00:14:58,340
WHAT ARE YOU
DOING TO THE PRINCE?
240
00:14:58,364 --> 00:15:00,910
MERELY GETTING HIM IN
SHAPE FOR THE WEIGH-IN.
241
00:15:00,934 --> 00:15:03,367
CARLA, WHAT IS HIS WEIGHT?
242
00:15:07,673 --> 00:15:11,353
HE'S DOWN TO 274 LBS.
243
00:15:11,377 --> 00:15:13,355
Max: ARE YOU ALL
RIGHT, PRINCE SULLY?
244
00:15:13,379 --> 00:15:16,792
YES, BUT I CAN FEEL
MYSELF GETTING THINNER.
245
00:15:16,816 --> 00:15:20,062
WELL, HANG ON, YOUR
MAJESTY, AND THINK FAT.
246
00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:21,719
RELEASE HIM.
247
00:15:31,297 --> 00:15:33,609
YOU MAY LOWER YOUR
HANDS, MR. SMART.
248
00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:36,144
I CAN'T. MY SHOULDERS
ARE LOCKED.
249
00:15:36,168 --> 00:15:38,369
RHONDA, FIX
MR. SMART'S SHOULDER.
250
00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:41,884
THERE!
251
00:15:41,908 --> 00:15:45,154
NOW, MR. SMART, YOU WILL
TELEPHONE YOUR CHIEF,
252
00:15:45,178 --> 00:15:48,423
AND YOU WILL GIVE HIM SOME
INFORMATION AS TO WHERE YOU ARE...
253
00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:51,115
INFORMATION THAT WILL BE,
OF COURSE, TOTALLY FALSE.
254
00:15:52,318 --> 00:15:54,063
AND WHAT IF I REFUSE?
255
00:15:54,087 --> 00:15:55,931
THEN I SHALL MAKE YOU DO IT.
256
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:57,754
YOU AND WHO ELSE?
257
00:16:01,928 --> 00:16:04,440
GOT AN ANSWER FOR
EVERYTHING, HAVEN'T YOU?
258
00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:07,064
TAKE MR. SMART TO THE PHONE.
259
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,449
NOW BE VERY CAREFUL, MR. SMART.
260
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:16,118
ONE WRONG WORD,
AND RHONDA AND CARLA
261
00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:18,253
WILL SEE THAT IT'S YOUR LAST.
262
00:16:18,277 --> 00:16:20,723
ALL RIGHT, JUST WHAT IS
IT YOU WANT ME TO SAY?
263
00:16:20,747 --> 00:16:23,292
MERELY TELL YOUR CHIEF
THAT EVERYTHING IS ALL RIGHT,
264
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:25,027
YOU'VE DISCOVERED
NOTHING SO FAR,
265
00:16:25,051 --> 00:16:27,217
AND YOU WILL CALL
HIM BACK IF YOU DO.
266
00:16:35,528 --> 00:16:37,973
- HELLO?
- MAX?
267
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:41,209
- YES, CHIEF.
- WHAT'S GOING ON? ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
268
00:16:41,233 --> 00:16:44,780
I'M FINE, CHIEF. YOU KNOW
ME... NEVER ANY PROBLEMS.
269
00:16:44,804 --> 00:16:46,715
HE MUST BE IN TROUBLE.
270
00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:49,318
WE JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT
YOU'RE DOING A WONDERFUL JOB, MAX,
271
00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:52,321
AND THAT YOU DESERVE A
BIG PAT ON THE SHOULDER.
272
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:55,291
- A PAT ON THE SHOULDER?
- THAT'S RIGHT, SMART,
273
00:16:55,315 --> 00:16:57,293
A PAT ON THE SHOULDER.
274
00:16:57,317 --> 00:16:59,494
UH...
275
00:16:59,518 --> 00:17:02,564
OKAY, CHIEF, AND DON'T
WORRY ABOUT A THING.
276
00:17:02,588 --> 00:17:04,332
I don't need any
more help on this case
277
00:17:04,356 --> 00:17:06,468
than I did on my last case.
278
00:17:06,492 --> 00:17:08,737
PARKER, HOW MANY MEN DO WE HAVE?
279
00:17:08,761 --> 00:17:11,940
- OKAY, WHAT NOW?
- NOTHING.
280
00:17:11,964 --> 00:17:15,077
YOU'RE FREE TO WATCH US
REDUCE THE PRINCE, IF YOU LIKE.
281
00:17:15,101 --> 00:17:18,280
CARLA AND I ARE GOING TO TURN
THE MACHINE UP ALL THE WAY.
282
00:17:18,304 --> 00:17:21,183
RHONDA WILL TEND TO YOUR NEEDS.
283
00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:23,140
WATCH HIM.
284
00:17:28,648 --> 00:17:31,360
YOU KNOW, IT'S GETTING
AWFULLY CHILLY IN HERE.
285
00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:34,196
UH, WOULD YOU MIND
IF I PUT ON MY COAT?
286
00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:36,554
WHY NOT?
287
00:17:38,491 --> 00:17:40,424
THANK YOU.
288
00:17:46,031 --> 00:17:49,078
AH, THAT FEELS MUCH BETTER.
289
00:17:49,102 --> 00:17:52,247
- [beeping]
- OH, CHIEF, SMART'S
SIGNAL JUST WENT ON.
290
00:17:52,271 --> 00:17:53,915
GET A READING ON HIS LOCATION.
291
00:17:53,939 --> 00:17:56,852
- WHAT DID YOU
DO THAT FOR?
- HMM?
292
00:17:56,876 --> 00:17:58,587
WHAT DID I DO WHAT FOR?
293
00:17:58,611 --> 00:18:01,089
YOU SLAPPED YOUR SHOULDER.
294
00:18:01,113 --> 00:18:03,759
- I DID?
- YES,
295
00:18:03,783 --> 00:18:05,928
RIGHT HERE.
296
00:18:05,952 --> 00:18:07,596
- IT JUST WENT OFF.
- WHAT?
297
00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:09,131
THE SIGNAL IS GONE!
298
00:18:09,155 --> 00:18:12,500
YOU MEAN, I JUST
PICKED UP AND...
299
00:18:12,524 --> 00:18:14,903
SLAPPED MY SHOULDER LIKE THIS?
300
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:18,487
THERE MUST BE SOMETHING
REASON WHY YOU KEEP DOING THIS.
301
00:18:19,498 --> 00:18:21,476
TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH,
302
00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:24,735
IT'S KIND OF A LITTLE
NERVOUS HABIT WITH ME.
303
00:18:26,472 --> 00:18:29,573
LOOK, IT'S MY NERVOUS
HABIT, NOT YOURS.
304
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:33,088
[falters] WHAT DO YOU
THINK IT'S HAPPENING?
305
00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:36,124
[sighs] I DON'T KNOW.
306
00:18:36,148 --> 00:18:38,682
COULD HE BE PLAYING LEAPFROG?
307
00:18:44,590 --> 00:18:46,523
THERE WE ARE.
308
00:18:47,926 --> 00:18:51,273
NORTH... NORTHWEST.
309
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:54,965
THERE. THERE. I
THINK THIS IS IT.
310
00:18:56,236 --> 00:18:59,482
LISTEN, RHONDA, YOU
LOOK LIKE A SENSIBLE GIRL.
311
00:18:59,506 --> 00:19:01,317
I THINK YOU AND I
CAN MAKE A DEAL.
312
00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:03,885
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING
TO SAY, MR. SMART?
313
00:19:03,909 --> 00:19:05,687
YOU LET ME ESCAPE
314
00:19:05,711 --> 00:19:08,090
AND I'LL SEE THAT
YOU GET OFF EASY.
315
00:19:08,114 --> 00:19:11,127
- HOW EASY?
- WELL, I CAN'T MAKE
ANY PROMISES,
316
00:19:11,151 --> 00:19:12,828
BUT I CAN TELL YOU THIS MUCH:
317
00:19:12,852 --> 00:19:14,896
THE LAW HAS A VERY
SOFT SPOT IN ITS HEART
318
00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:16,632
FOR BIG BEAUTIFUL SPIES.
319
00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:19,123
- MARY JACK!
- YES?
320
00:19:22,128 --> 00:19:25,073
SMART WANTS ME
TO HELP HIM ESCAPE.
321
00:19:25,097 --> 00:19:28,511
OH, HE DOES? WELL, LOCK
HIM IN THE STEAM ROOM...
322
00:19:28,535 --> 00:19:32,414
A LITTLE 150 HEAT
OUGHT TO SOFTEN HIM UP.
323
00:19:32,438 --> 00:19:34,372
COME ON!
324
00:19:38,144 --> 00:19:39,522
- GET IN, SMART.
- COME ON.
325
00:19:39,546 --> 00:19:42,057
[Carla screams]
326
00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:45,161
ALL RIGHT, MARY JACK ARMSTRONG,
327
00:19:45,185 --> 00:19:48,130
YOU AND I ARE GONNA TAKE A LITTLE
TRIP DOWN TO CONTROL HEADQUARTERS.
328
00:19:48,154 --> 00:19:51,066
YOU DON'T EXPECT ME TO FALL
FOR THAT OLD TRICK, DO YOU?
329
00:19:51,090 --> 00:19:53,135
- THERE'S NOTHING IN THERE
BUT YOUR HAND.
- ALL RIGHT,
330
00:19:53,159 --> 00:19:56,572
GET YOUR HANDS UP AND
DON'T MAKE ANY SUDDEN MOVES.
331
00:19:56,596 --> 00:20:00,664
NOW, MR. SMART, I'M
GONNA BREAK YOU IN HALF.
332
00:20:03,836 --> 00:20:05,636
WHAT HAPPENED?!
333
00:20:07,339 --> 00:20:09,818
THE OLD FINGER-IN-THE-GUN TRICK.
334
00:20:09,842 --> 00:20:12,721
THAT'S THE SECOND TIME
I'VE USED IT THIS MONTH.
335
00:20:12,745 --> 00:20:14,889
PRETTY CLEVER, DON'T YOU THINK?
336
00:20:14,913 --> 00:20:17,225
ALL RIGHT, MARY JACK, LET'S GO.
337
00:20:17,249 --> 00:20:19,950
INTO THE STEAM ROOM!
COME ON, MOVE OUT!
338
00:20:30,696 --> 00:20:33,174
[grunts]
339
00:20:33,198 --> 00:20:35,644
[sighs]
340
00:20:35,668 --> 00:20:39,047
WHAT KIND OF A GUN
IS THAT, MR. SMART?
341
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:42,518
IT'S A .22-CALIBER
FINGER... FIRES TWO SHOTS.
342
00:20:42,542 --> 00:20:44,208
[rumbling]
343
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:50,759
ALL RIGHT, STAY WHERE YOU
ARE. DON'T ANYBODY MOVE!
344
00:20:50,783 --> 00:20:52,561
YOUR FINGER'S EMPTY, MR. SMART.
345
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:54,763
THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE
WRONG, MARY JACK.
346
00:20:54,787 --> 00:20:56,732
I STILL HAVE ONE SHOT LEFT.
347
00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:59,023
- NO, YOU DON'T.
- YES, I DO.
348
00:21:02,128 --> 00:21:03,638
NO, I DON'T.
349
00:21:03,662 --> 00:21:05,907
YOU HAVE BECOME A
NUISANCE, MR. SMART.
350
00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:07,943
AND YOU KNOW WHAT
I DO WITH NUISANCES?
351
00:21:07,967 --> 00:21:10,546
YOU IGNORE THEM AND
HOPE THEY'LL GO AWAY?
352
00:21:10,570 --> 00:21:12,548
- WRONG.
- WRONG.
353
00:21:12,572 --> 00:21:15,216
YOU DON'T IGNORE THEM
AND HOPE THEY'LL GO AWAY.
354
00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:17,486
WRONG.
355
00:21:17,510 --> 00:21:19,488
- WRONG AGAIN.
- I DISPOSE OF THEM
356
00:21:19,512 --> 00:21:22,691
- ONCE AND FOR ALL!
- THAT WAS MY NEXT
GUESS.
357
00:21:22,715 --> 00:21:24,960
CARLA, RHONDA.
358
00:21:24,984 --> 00:21:26,944
NOW WAIT A MINUTE, MARY JACK...
359
00:21:27,953 --> 00:21:30,393
COME ON, THE WINDOW.
360
00:21:34,460 --> 00:21:37,172
Chief: DROP THAT AGENT!
361
00:21:37,196 --> 00:21:39,663
TAKE THOSE TWO DOWN TO
HEADQUARTERS. LEAVE HER.
362
00:21:41,767 --> 00:21:43,945
- GOOD WORK, MAX.
- [groans]
363
00:21:43,969 --> 00:21:45,981
THANK YOU, CHIEF, BUT
I WISH YOU WOULD BE
364
00:21:46,005 --> 00:21:48,450
A LITTLE MORE CAREFUL
WITH YOUR CHOICE OF WORDS.
365
00:21:48,474 --> 00:21:51,353
YOU KNOW, THEY COULD HAVE
DROPPED ME THE OTHER WAY.
366
00:21:51,377 --> 00:21:53,522
SORRY ABOUT THAT, MAX.
367
00:21:53,546 --> 00:21:56,358
LISTEN, CHIEF, I DON'T KNOW WHAT
WE'RE GONNA DO WITH MARY JACK.
368
00:21:56,382 --> 00:21:58,760
THERE'S NO PRISON
BUILT THAT CAN HOLD HER.
369
00:21:58,784 --> 00:22:01,330
SHE'S THE STRONGEST,
TOUGHEST, MOST VICIOUS OPPONENT
370
00:22:01,354 --> 00:22:03,794
I'VE EVER FACED
IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.
371
00:22:04,957 --> 00:22:07,402
HELLO, MARY.
372
00:22:07,426 --> 00:22:09,059
MARY?
373
00:22:10,763 --> 00:22:12,974
HELLO, THADDEUS.
374
00:22:12,998 --> 00:22:15,544
UM, I'M THE CHIEF NOW.
375
00:22:15,568 --> 00:22:18,413
OH, THAT'S WONDERFUL. I DIDN'T
KNOW YOU'D BEEN PROMOTED.
376
00:22:18,437 --> 00:22:22,151
WELL, OF COURSE WE
COULDN'T PUBLISH IT.
377
00:22:22,175 --> 00:22:23,985
I'VE TRIED TO WRITE
TO YOU, BUT THE...
378
00:22:24,009 --> 00:22:26,588
WELL, THE ONLY ADDRESS
I HAD WAS "CARE OF KAOS."
379
00:22:26,612 --> 00:22:29,324
WELL, IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME.
380
00:22:29,348 --> 00:22:32,060
YES, IT HAS. YOU'VE BECOME
381
00:22:32,084 --> 00:22:34,396
EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL,
IF THAT'S POSSIBLE.
382
00:22:34,420 --> 00:22:37,599
AND YOU LOOK
RATHER DISTINGUISHED.
383
00:22:37,623 --> 00:22:40,257
WELL, IT'S PROBABLY
THE GRAY HAIR.
384
00:22:42,061 --> 00:22:44,495
THAT WILL BE ALL, MAX.
385
00:22:47,966 --> 00:22:50,179
- I LIKE IT.
- THANK YOU.
386
00:22:50,203 --> 00:22:53,549
UH, MARY, I DON'T MEAN TO PRY,
387
00:22:53,573 --> 00:22:55,551
BUT HOW DID A NICE GIRL LIKE YOU
388
00:22:55,575 --> 00:22:58,753
EVER GET INTO THIS
ROTTEN BUSINESS?
389
00:22:58,777 --> 00:23:02,991
WELL, THADDEUS, IT'S A LIVING.
390
00:23:03,015 --> 00:23:05,260
THEY KNOW EACH OTHER?
391
00:23:05,284 --> 00:23:07,296
YES, PRINCE, THAT'S
THE WONDERFUL THING
392
00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:09,298
ABOUT THE ESPIONAGE BUSINESS...
393
00:23:09,322 --> 00:23:11,988
YOU MAKE FRIENDSHIPS
THAT LAST FOREVER.
394
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:23,344
DID THE PRINCE GET BACK TO
HIS COUNTRY IN TIME, CHIEF?
395
00:23:23,368 --> 00:23:25,513
HE MADE IT JUST IN
TIME FOR THE WEIGH-IN.
396
00:23:25,537 --> 00:23:27,615
DID HE MAKE THE 300-LB. MINIMUM?
397
00:23:27,639 --> 00:23:31,286
OH, HE WEIGHED IN
AT EXACTLY 240 LBS.
398
00:23:31,310 --> 00:23:35,023
- THEN HE LOST HIS KINGDOM.
- NO, THEY GAVE HIM
THE GOLD ANYWAY.
399
00:23:35,047 --> 00:23:36,691
HOW COME?
400
00:23:36,715 --> 00:23:39,094
THE PRINCE WAS IN SUCH
GREAT SHAPE PHYSICALLY
401
00:23:39,118 --> 00:23:40,762
FROM THE REDUCING MACHINE
402
00:23:40,786 --> 00:23:43,131
THAT THE WOMEN OF RAMAT
HAVE MADE HIM A MATINEE IDOL.
403
00:23:43,155 --> 00:23:44,800
YOU'RE KIDDING.
404
00:23:44,824 --> 00:23:46,467
THEIR WHOLE STYLE IS CHANGED.
405
00:23:46,491 --> 00:23:49,437
THE ENTIRE COUNTRY
IS ON A CRASH DIET.
406
00:23:49,461 --> 00:23:51,106
THAT'S WONDERFUL, CHIEF.
407
00:23:51,130 --> 00:23:53,175
OH, INCIDENTALLY, THE
PRINCE SENT YOU A GIFT
408
00:23:53,199 --> 00:23:56,377
IN APPRECIATION OF YOUR
SERVICES TO HIM AND TO HIS COUNTRY.
409
00:23:56,401 --> 00:23:58,479
THAT'S VERY NICE
OF THE PRINCE, CHIEF.
410
00:23:58,503 --> 00:24:00,916
NOW, MAX, YOU KNOW THE POLICY
OF CONTROL ON THINGS LIKE THAT.
411
00:24:00,940 --> 00:24:03,418
CONTROL AGENTS ARE NOT
ALLOWED TO ACCEPT GRATUITIES.
412
00:24:03,442 --> 00:24:05,420
I KNOW THAT, CHIEF. DON'T WORRY,
413
00:24:05,444 --> 00:24:07,477
I'LL SEND IT BACK TOMORROW.
414
00:24:09,048 --> 00:24:11,614
[Middle Eastern music playing]
415
00:24:15,954 --> 00:24:19,790
WOULD YOU BELIEVE THE
DAY AFTER TOMORROW?
416
00:24:22,761 --> 00:24:25,696
[theme music playing]
32003
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