All language subtitles for Get Smart S01E11 Too Many Chiefs.DVDRip.HI.cc.en.HBO

MAX, I WANT TO
SHOW YOU SOMETHING.

DON'T ACT SURPRISED.

[shouts] OH NO, IT'S HER!

- WHAT IS IT, MAX?
- IT'S TANYA.

THEY'VE GOT YOUR PICTURE PLASTERED
ALL OVER THE EARLY MORNING PAPER.

OH, YOU SEE?

THAT'S YOUR GLORIOUS FREE PRESS

YOU'RE ALWAYS BOASTING ABOUT.

WHERE IS YOUR MAXIMUM
SECURITY NOW, MR. SMART?

SHE'S RIGHT, MAX. WE CANNOT
ADEQUATELY PROTECT MISS LUPESCU

IN A PUBLIC HOTEL.

DON'T BE RIDICULOUS, CHIEF.

I'VE CHECKED THIS
HOTEL A DOZEN TIMES.

I'M TELLING YOU IT'S
ABSOLUTELY SAFE. COME ON.

WE'D LIKE TO REGISTER, PLEASE.

DON'T MOVE. HE HAS A GUN.

WHAT DO WE DO NOW, MR. SMART?

IT'S ALL RIGHT, HE WON'T SHOOT,

NOT AS LONG AS THE CASHIER
WHO IS ONE OF OUR MEN

HAS A GUN TRAINED ON HIS BACK.

I KNOW THAT, BUT THE BELLBOY
HAS A GUN LEVELED AT THE CASHIER.

LOOK, IT'S ALL RIGHT

BECAUSE AGENT 41 THE CHAMBERMAID

HAS THE DROP ON THE BELLBOY.

AND SINCE I'VE NEVER
TRUSTED THE CHAMBERMAID,

AGENT 48 THE ELEVATOR OPERATOR

HAS THE CHAMBERMAID COVERED.

IT'S A STANDOFF.

WHAT IS THAT?

EVERYBODY'S AFRAID TO SHOOT

FOR FEAR HE
HIMSELF WILL BE SHOT.

CONSEQUENTLY, NO ONE GETS HURT.

LET'S GET MISS
LUPESCU OUT OF HERE.

- [gunshot blasts]
- [body thumps]

- [guns blasting]
- [bodies thumping]

OF COURSE, IN A
SITUATION LIKE THIS

ALL IT TAKES IS ONE WISE GUY.

[theme music playing]

THIS MEETING OF KAOS
IS NOW IN SESSION.

ORDER OF BUSINESS...

THE LIQUIDATION
OF TANYA LUPESCU.

SO FAR YOU HAVE
FAILED MISERABLY.

SHE IS STILL ALIVE

AND IN THE CUSTODY OF
THE CONTROL ORGANIZATION.

IF SHE IS ALLOWED TO LIVE

SHE WILL BE ABLE
TO IDENTIFY IN COURT

SEVERAL OF OUR TOP...

"EXECUTIVES."

SINCE YOU ARE ALL SUCH BUNGLERS

I HAVE SENT FOR ONE OF
OUR MOST TALENTED AGENTS

TO PERFORM THE DELICATE TASK

OF ELIMINATING MISS LUPESCU.

THAT MAN

IS ALEXEI SEBASTIAN.

MAX, OUR EXPERIENCE THIS
MORNING PROVES ONE THING...

IT'S JUST TOO DIFFICULT TO PROTECT
MISS LUPESCU IN A PUBLIC HOTEL.

- IT TAKES
TOO MANY AGENTS.
- YOU'RE RIGHT, CHIEF.

WE'VE GOT MORE MEN IN
HOTELS THAN CONRAD HILTON.

[chuckles]

I THINK I'VE GOT
SOMETHING WORKED OUT.

SEE THIS LOCATION
I HAVE MARKED OFF?

IT HAS FRONT, BACK AND SIDE
EXITS FOR EXTREME MOBILITY.

A MINIMUM NUMBER OF AGENTS CAN BE
PLANTED TO GIVE IT MAXIMUM SECURITY.

IT'S TWO MINUTES
FROM THE COURTHOUSE

AND IT'S GOT A
COMMUNICATIONS SETUP

- DIRECTLY TO CONTROL
HEADQUARTERS.
- THAT'S PERFECT.

WHERE IS IT, CHIEF?

- IT'S YOUR APARTMENT.
- MY APARTMENT.

- MY APARTMENT?!
- YES.

CHIEF, I CAN'T TAKE A
GIRL TO MY APARTMENT.

WHAT WILL THE NEIGHBORS SAY?

THERE'S NO ALTERNATIVE, MAX.

BESIDES, IT'S SO OBVIOUS IT'S THE LAST
PLACE KAOS WOULD THINK OF LOOKING.

BUT CHIEF, IT'S A
BACHELOR APARTMENT.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE
STOCKINGS ALL OVER THE SHOWER ROD

AND CLOTHES ALL OVER THE FLOOR?

THIS IS AN ORDER, 86.

WELL, ALL RIGHT, CHIEF.

- BUT YOU'D BETTER GIVE ME
AN HOUR OR SO.
- WHAT FOR?

WELL, I'VE GOT TO GET MY
STOCKINGS OFF THE SHOWER ROD

AND MY CLOTHES OFF THE FLOOR.

MAX, YOU'VE GOT TO GAIN
TANYA LUPESCU'S CONFIDENCE.

FIRST OF ALL YOU'VE GOT TO
IMPRESS HER WITH THE FACT

THAT UNTIL SHE TESTIFIES,
HER LIFE IS IN GREAT DANGER.

ALSO YOU'VE GOT TO FIND OUT
ANYTHING ELSE SHE KNOWS ABOUT KAOS.

- NOW HERE'S OUR
PROCEDURE...
- WAIT A MINUTE, CHIEF.

ISN'T THIS TOP SECURITY?

YES.

WELL...

SHOULDN'T WE ACTIVATE
THE CONE OF SILENCE?

MAX, I'VE BEEN HAVING

A LITTLE MECHANICAL
DIFFICULTY WITH IT LATELY, AND I...

DON'T BE RIDICULOUS, CHIEF.
THE WHOLE THING IS SO SIMPLE.

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS PRESS
THIS BUTTON AND TURN THIS LEVER

- ALL THE WAY
TO THE RIGHT.
- [machine hums]

- NOW HERE'S OUR PLAN...
- HOLD IT, CHIEF.

OKAY, GO AHEAD.

ALL RIGHT. FIRST,

YOU TAKE TANYA
TO YOUR APARTMENT.

MAKE SURE YOU'RE
NOT BEING FOLLOWED,

EXCEPT, OF COURSE...

BY OUR OWN MEN.

MEANWHILE, I WILL TAKE 99,

DISGUISED AS TANYA,
TO A COMMERCIAL HOTEL.

WE'LL REGISTER 99 AND WE'LL
SNEAK HER OUT OF THE HOTEL,

MAKING SURE THAT SOME
OF OUR MEN STAY BEHIND

TO GUARD HER ROOM AS A DECOY.

HAVE YOU ANY QUESTIONS?

NO, CHIEF, I THINK THAT JUST
ABOUT COVERS EVERYTHING.

ALL RIGHT, TANYA.

I THINK WE CAN RELAX NOW.

THIS APARTMENT
IS PERFECTLY SAFE;

IT'S UNDER MAXIMUM SECURITY.

[knock on door]

WHO IS THAT?

I DON'T KNOW.

HOW DO YOU DO? I'M YOUR
MUTUAL INSURANCE AGENT.

OH, COME RIGHT IN.

WHO IS HE?

WELL, I'M NOT QUITE SURE YET.

AHA, JUST AS I THOUGHT.

HE'S MY MUTUAL INSURANCE AGENT.

ALL RIGHT, FELLA,
COME ON, LET'S GO.

YOU'VE PROBABLY GOT
A LOT OF CALLS TO MAKE.

I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT.

THAT'S OKAY. A LOT OF PEOPLE

FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT INSURANCE.

WELL TANYA, WHY DON'T YOU JUST
SIT DOWN AND RELAX FOR A WHILE?

THANK YOU.

NOW TANYA, I'M WONDERING,

CAN YOU GIVE ME ANY
INFORMATION THAT MIGHT HELP US

IN TRYING TO PROTECT YOU?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WHEN OUR MEN
RESCUED YOU IN EUROPE

AND BROUGHT YOU OVER HERE, HOW
LONG WERE YOU A PRISONER OF KAOS?

ALMOST A WEEK.

NOW DURING THAT TIME,
DID YOU NOTICE ANYTHING

ABOUT THEIR METHOD OF
OPERATION THAT MIGHT HELP US?

YES, THEY LEFT ME ALONE IN ONE OF
THEIR OFFICES FOR AN HOUR ONE DAY.

I FOUND THEIR CODE BOOK AND WAS
ABLE TO MEMORIZE THEIR CODING SYSTEM.

EH, DO YOU CONSIDER
THAT IMPORTANT?

IMPORTANT? ARE YOU KIDDING?

WHY, WE'VE BEEN TRYING TO
BREAK THEIR CODE FOR YEARS.

I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU
STILL REMEMBER IT?

OF COURSE I DO.

THE FIRST VOWEL AFTER
EVERY SECOND CONSONANT

IS SUPERIMPOSED ON THE VOWEL

IMMEDIATELY PRECEDING
IT IN THE ALPHABET.

THE FIRST WORD AFTER
EVERY PREPOSITION,

IF IT IS NOT INTRODUCED
BY AN ARTICLE OR

A PERSONAL PRONOUN, IS INVERTED.

THE LETTER T STANDS FOR F

EXCEPT AFTER E. Js
COUNT FOR DOUBLE.

THE FIRST NUMBER AFTER
EVERY SECOND ADVERB

IS THE THIRD DIGIT AFTER
A MODIFYING ADJECTIVE.

PROPER NAMES AND COUNTRIES
EQUAL THE WORD "MARMALADE."

IS THAT IT?

IT'S SO SIMPLE. NO WONDER WE
WERE NEVER ABLE TO CRACK THAT CODE.

THAT'S THE WAY IT ALWAYS IS...

IT'S RIGHT THERE UNDER YOUR
NOSE AND YOU NEVER SEE IT.

"MARMALADE." OF COURSE.

AND FOR TWO YEARS WE'VE
BEEN WORKING ON JELLY.

IF THAT'S ALL FOR
NOW, MR. SMART...

- UH, MAXWELL.
- MAXWELL...

I DO THINK I WOULD
LIKE TO GET SOME REST.

OH, MOST CERTAINLY,
TANYA, BUT ONE THING FIRST.

NOW I DON'T WANT TO ALARM YOU,

BUT JUST IN CASE ANYBODY
HAPPENS TO BREAK IN HERE

I'D LIKE TO SHOW YOU A
FEW TRICKS IN SELF-DEFENSE.

- OH.
- NOW THE FIRST
THING IS THIS...

A TELEPHONE?

WATCH VERY CAREFULLY.
YOU SEE THIS TRIGGER HERE?

YOU MERELY PRESS THIS

AND THEN YOU DIAL 1-1-7.

[bullet fires]

THAT'S VERY INGENIOUS!

NOW I'M GOING TO ATTACK YOU.

WHAT?

NOTHING TO WORRY
ABOUT. JUST A LITTLE JUDO.

NOBODY WILL GET HURT.

EXCEPT ME.

WELL, I HOPE YOU REMEMBER
WHAT YOU DID, TANYA.

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

OH, YES, OF COURSE. WE'RE
TRAINED TO TAKE FALLS.

YOU KNOW, MOST OF YOU
AMERICANS ARE SO SOFT.

THAT'S BECAUSE YOU PUT SUCH
UNNECESSARY EMPHASIS ON PHYSICAL COMFORT

LIKE LUXURY OR LOVE.

LOVE?

YES, LOVE.

THAT'S ALL YOU
SEEM TO TALK ABOUT...

ABOUT GLAMOUR, SEX APPEAL,
ABOUT HUGGING AND KISSING.

WELL THAT'S NOT TRUE, TANYA. I
HARDLY EVER TALK ABOUT THOSE THINGS.

WHY, I HAVEN'T TALKED ABOUT
HUGGING OR KISSING IN WEEKS.

- MR. SMART...
- MAXWELL.

- MAXWELL...
- MAX.

MAX, COULD YOU HONESTLY TELL ME

THAT YOU DON'T THINK
ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW?

THAT YOU WOULD
NOT LIKE TO KISS ME?

WELL, UH...

WELL, LET'S DO IT
AND GET IT OVER WITH.

I WILL SHOW YOU
HOW LITTLE IT MEANS.

[exhales]

WELL, I THINK I'D LIKE
TO UNPACK MY ROOM

IF YOU'LL JUST
SHOW ME TO MY BAG.

OH, MAX...

[knock on door]

OKAY, MAX, EVERYTHING'S
GOING ACCORDING TO PLAN.

I'M GOING TO RELIEVE YOU NOW

AND YOU ARE TO REPORT TO
THE CHIEF IMMEDIATELY. IT'S...

IT'S AN EMERGENCY.

OH, THIS. WELL, IT'S
REALLY NOTHING, 99.

I WAS JUST SHOWING
TANYA A LITTLE JUDO.

IT MUST HAVE BEEN PRETTY ROUGH.

I THINK SHE BROKE YOUR LIP.

THAT'LL BE ALL FOR NOW, K-13.

STAND BY FOR FURTHER ORDERS.

WHAT'S UP, CHIEF?

THANK YOU, FANG.

IT'S TROUBLE. WE'VE
JUST FOUND OUT

WHERE THE THREAT TO TANYA
LUPESCU'S LIFE WILL COME FROM.

ALEXEI SEBASTIAN, THE
MASTER EXECUTIONER OF KAOS

IS REPORTED IN THIS COUNTRY.

ALEXEI SEBASTIAN?

YES. THE MAN HAS NEVER
FAILED AN ASSIGNMENT.

NO MATTER HOW CLOSELY
GUARDED A SUBJECT MAY BE,

SEBASTIAN HAS ALWAYS
MANAGED TO GET TO HIM

THROUGH ONE OF HIS
EXTRAORDINARY DISGUISES.

COME WITH ME.

I WANT TO SHOW YOU
SOME SLIDES, MAX.

GEE, CHIEF, I HOPE IT'S NOT
YOUR CUMBERLAND GAP TRIP AGAIN.

I JUST SAW THAT LAST WEEK.

NO, MAX.

Chief: DO YOU KNOW WHO THAT IS?

OF COURSE. THAT'S
SENATOR FARFAM.

WRONG. THAT'S ALEXEI SEBASTIAN.

ISN'T THAT FRED GILES,
THE TENNIS CHAMPION?

NO, SEBASTIAN AGAIN.

HMM, NICE FOREHAND.

MAX, SEBASTIAN IS SO DANGEROUS
WE CONSIDER HIM TO BE A 101.

A 101?

- SHOOT ON RECOGNITION?
- RIGHT.

OH, I KNOW HIM.
THAT'S JOHNNY CARSON.

I WATCH HIS SHOW ALL THE TIME.

SEBASTIAN.

HE DID "THE TONIGHT SHOW" FOR
TWO WEEKS BEFORE THEY FOUND OUT.

OH, NO, CHIEF. NOT MY AUNT ROSE.

YES, IT'S HIM AGAIN.

GIVES YOU QUITE A
SHOCK, DOESN'T IT?

NOT HALF AS MUCH OF A SHOCK
AS IT'S GONNA GIVE HARRY.

- WHO'S HARRY?
- MY UNCLE.

WHICH ONE OF THEM IS SEBASTIAN?

WE STILL DON'T KNOW.

CHIEF, THAT MAN IS
ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC.

HOW ARE WE EVER GONNA TRAP HIM?

WELL, HE HAS ONE PHYSICAL
CHARACTERISTIC THAT HE CAN'T CONCEAL...

WEAK EYES.

WEAK EYES?

YES, WHEN EXPOSED TO BRIGHT
LIGHTS HE BLINKS EXCESSIVELY.

BUT IF SEBASTIAN CAN
BE ALL THOSE PEOPLE

THEN HE CAN BE ANYBODY.

WHY, HE COULD BE ONE OF US.

GENTLEMEN, AS WE SUSPECTED,

THEY HAVE TAKEN MISS LUPESCU

TO MAXWELL SMART'S APARTMENT.

THE OTHER GIRL WAS JUST A DECOY.

NOW I HAVE THE
PLEASURE OF INTRODUCING

THE MAN WHO WILL BE ABLE
TO PENETRATE THEIR DEFENSES

AND KILL MISS LUPESCU.

GENTLEMEN,

THE WORLD'S FOREMOST
MASTER OF DISGUISE...

ALEXEI SEBASTIAN.

WELL, ANYWAY, CHIEF, I THINK WE SHOULD
STRENGTHEN OUR SECURITY MEASURES.

ABSOLUTELY. BUT WE'LL
NEED A COUNTERSIGN

SO THAT WHEN I COME TO YOUR
APARTMENT LATER TO QUESTION TANYA

WE'LL KNOW WE'RE NOT
SPEAKING TO IMPOSTORS.

JUST TO BE ON THE
SAFE SIDE, CHIEF,

WHY DON'T WE USE A
DOUBLE COUNTERSIGN?

GOOD IDEA.

OH, HERE'S A GOOD ONE...

I'LL SAY, "THE MIGRATING
BIRDS FLY LOW OVER THE SEA."

YOU SAY, "SHADELESS
WINDOWS ADMIT NO LIGHT."

THEN I'LL SAY, "THE WINGLESS
DOVE PROTECTS HIS NEST."

AND YOU SAY, "THE TOOTHLESS
TIGER RULES A RESTLESS JUNGLE."

- HAVE YOU GOT THAT?
- RIGHT, CHIEF.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S TRY IT.

THE MIGRATING BIRDS
FLY LOW OVER THE SEA.

THE RESTLESS JUNGLE
ADMITS NO SHADES.

NO, MAX, I HAVE THE
RESTLESS JUNGLE.

YOU HAVE THE SHADELESS
WINDOWS AND THE WINGLESS DOVES.

OH. I THOUGHT YOU HAD THE THE
WINGLESS DOVES AND I HAD THE SHADELESS...

NO, MAX.

HOW ABOUT THIS FOR A
DOUBLE COUNTERSIGN, CHIEF?

YOU SAY, "HELLO, MAX,"
AND I SAY, "HI, CHIEF,"

- AND YOU SAY...
- SMART!

IT'S ON THIS CARD. MEMORIZE IT.

AND REMEMBER, ALEXEI SEBASTIAN
CAN IMPERSONATE ANYONE.

- ANYONE?
- ANYONE.

THE ONLY TWO WE'RE
SURE OF ARE YOU AND ME.

THERE ARE THREE OF
US IN THIS ROOM, CHIEF.

- YOU MEAN...?
- YES.

F-A-N-G.

MAX, THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE
WITH SEBASTIAN.

LET'S PUT HIM TO A LITTLE TEST.

[whimpers]

THAT'S FANG ALL RIGHT, CHIEF.

NO OTHER SECRET AGENT IN
THE WORLD CAN RUN THAT FAST.

Max: 99, WE'VE GOT
TO BE EXTRA CAREFUL.

ALEXEI SEBASTIAN THE
MASTER IMPERSONATOR

HAS BEEN HIRED BY
KAOS TO GET TANYA.

THE MAN IS INCREDIBLE.

WHY, HE COULD BE
IMPERSONATING ANYBODY.

RIGHT. CHIEF CALLED
JUST AFTER YOU LEFT

TO MAKE SURE
EVERYTHING WAS ALL RIGHT.

HOW DID YOU KNOW
IT WAS THE CHIEF?

HE GAVE ME THE
DOUBLE COUNTERSIGN.

OH. WHAT WAS IT?

"MIGRATING BIRDS FLY
LOW OVER THE SEA."

"SHADELESS WINDOWS
ADMIT NO LIGHT."

"THE WINGLESS DOVE
PROTECTS HIS NEST."

AND "THE TIGER RULES
THE RESTLESS JUNGLE."

WRONG.

THE TOOTHLESS TIGER.

OH, MAXIE, I THOUGHT
I HEARD YOU COME IN.

I WILL BE RIGHT DOWN
AFTER I TAKE MY SHOWER.

I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND MY
BORROWING YOUR TOWEL.

WELL, TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH,
TANYA, THAT'S MY FAVORITE TOWEL.

YOU CAN USE IT...

FOR A WHILE.

WELL, GOOD NIGHT, 99.

OH, I'M STAYING, MAX.

WE CAN TAKE TURNS WATCHING.

THERE'S REALLY NO
NEED FOR THAT, 99.

I THINK I CAN HANDLE
THE SITUATION.

I'M GOING TO MAKE SOME COFFEE.

IT'S GOING TO BE A LONG NIGHT.

THAT'S ALL RIGHT, MAX.
I CAN MAKE THE COFFEE.

YOU SEEM TO FORGET
THAT I'M A WOMAN TOO.

BESIDES, REMEMBER THE COFFEE
I MADE FOR YOU LAST WEEK?

HOW ABOUT SOME TEA?

I'LL MAKE THE COFFEE, 99.

[knock on door]

THE MIGRATING BIRDS
FLY LOW OVER THE SEA.

SHADELESS WINDOWS
ADMIT NO LIGHT.

THE WINGLESS DOVE
PROTECTS HIS NEST.

THE TOOTHLESS TIGER
RULES THE RESTLESS JUNGLE.

CHIEF, IS IT REALLY YOU?

OF COURSE IT'S ME, 99.

COME ON IN.

I GUESS YOU WANT TO
INTERROGATE OUR GAY DEFECTOR.

- THAT'S RIGHT.
- COME ON. SHE'S UPSTAIRS.

- [knocking on door]
- 99, WHY DON'T YOU
ANSWER THE...

OH, HI, CHIEF. COME ON IN.

I GUESS YOU'RE HERE
TO QUESTION THE GIRL.

THAT'S RIGHT, MAX.

UH, CHIEF...

YOU FORGOT THE COUNTERSIGN.

THE OLD COUNTERSIGN
OR THE NEW COUNTERSIGN?

NEW COUNTERSIGN?

YES, I SAY, "APPLES,"
YOU SAY, "MACINTOSH."

OH. CHIEF...

THE COUNTERSIGN.

- APPLES.
- MACINTOSH.

THE GIRL'S UPSTAIRS, CHIEF.

MAX, WOULD YOU FIX ME A DRINK?

OH SURE, CHIEF. COME ON OVER TO
THE BAR, PICK OUT ANYTHING YOU LIKE.

HOW ABOUT SOME BOURBON?

THAT'S FINE.

TANYA, THE CHIEF
WANTS TO TALK TO YOU

AS SOON AS YOU'RE DRESSED.

I WILL BE OUT IN A FEW MINUTES.

- IT'S BEEN A TRYING DAY, 99.
- WHAT'S THE MATTER, CHIEF?

- IS YOUR ULCER
ACTING UP AGAIN?
- YES, I'M AFRAID SO.

I WONDER IF I COULD TROUBLE
YOU FOR A GLASS OF BUTTERMILK.

- THAT USUALLY HELPS.
- OF COURSE, CHIEF.

THANK YOU.

- HOW ABOUT THIS, CHIEF?
- FINE. FIX IT FOR ME.

OH, CHIEF, I JUST BROKE A NAIL.

COULD YOU HELP ME GET THE
TOP OFF THE BUTTERMILK, PLEASE?

OH, CHIEF...

MAX.

HERE'S YOUR DRINK.

OH, THANK YOU.

[gags] THAT'S NOT BUTTERMILK.

YOU BET YOUR
SWEET LIFE IT ISN'T.

I WANTED...

MAX, DID YOU LEAVE
THIS DOOR OPEN?

I DON'T THINK SO, CHIEF.

I'D BETTER CHECK THE CORRIDOR.

NO, I'LL CHECK THE CORRIDOR.

OH, MAXIE...

YES TANYA, WHAT IS IT?

DO YOU HAVE A BATHROBE?

I CERTAINLY HOPE NOT.

I'LL LOOK FOR ONE ANYWAY.

NOW DRINK IT ALL DOWN, CHIEF.

IT'LL MAKE YOU FEEL MUCH BETTER.

LOOK, SOMEONE
LEFT THE DOOR OPEN.

THERE.

WELL, I THINK TANYA SHOULD
BE OUT OF THE SHOWER BY NOW.

I DON'T THINK I'LL NEED YOU. I
CAN QUESTION TANYA MYSELF.

CHIEF, YOU KNOW CONTROL'S
RULE ON INTERROGATION...

NEVER INTERROGATE A FEMALE SUSPECT
WITHOUT ANOTHER AGENT PRESENT.

- WHO MADE THAT RULE?
- YOUR WIFE.

YES.

THIS BUTTERMILK HAS LEFT
A BITTER TASTE IN MY MOUTH.

POUR ME A LITTLE
BOURBON, WILL YOU?

- BOURBON, CHIEF?
- BOURBON!

RIGHT, CHIEF.

[knock on door]

[knocking continues]

CHIEF, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING OUT THERE?

CHECKING THE CORRIDOR. BUT
SOMEBODY LOCKED ME OUTSIDE.

OH, CHIEF.

YOU'VE GOT TO TRY TO RELAX.

I JUST DON'T THINK MY ULCER
IS GOING TO SURVIVE THIS NIGHT.

HERE, LET ME HAVE
THAT BUTTERMILK.

BUT CHIEF, THAT'S...

[gagging]

BOURBON AGAIN?

DOES "BOURBON" SOUND
LIKE "BUTTERMILK"?

GET ME SOME BUTTERMILK!

RIGHT, CHIEF.

HOW LONG DO YOU THINK SHE'LL BE?

I'LL CHECK IT OUT, CHIEF.

- TANYA...
- [footsteps approaching]

YES, MAXIE?

Max: HOW LONG WILL YOU BE, DEAR?

Tanya: FIVE MINUTES.

- HOW LONG WILL SHE BE?
- ABOUT FIVE MINUTES, CHIEF.

TELL HER TO HURRY UP.

RIGHT, CHIEF.

TANYA?

YES, MAXIE?

HOW LONG WILL YOU BE NOW?

FOUR MINUTES AND 30 SECONDS.

Max: DO YOU HAVE ENOUGH TOWELS?

- Tanya: YES.
- Max: OH.

WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO DO TO
GET A GLASS OF BUTTERMILK?

THANK YOU, 99.

SHE'LL JUST BE A MINUTE, CHIEF.

GET ME A DRINK, WILL YOU, MAX?

RIGHT, CHIEF.

OH, THANKS, CHIEF.

HERE YOU ARE, CHIEF.

ALL RIGHT, HOLD IT.
DON'T ANYBODY MOVE.

KILL HIM. HE'S ALEXEI SEBASTIAN.

KILL HIM, MAX. HE'S AN IMPOSTOR.

WAIT A MINUTE. THERE'S SOMETHING
FUNNY GOING ON AROUND HERE.

WELL...

SO ENDS THE CAREER
OF ALEXEI SEBASTIAN...

AN UGLY CUSTOMER
IF I EVER SAW ONE.

OH, SORRY ABOUT THAT, CHIEF.

WHAT ON EARTH HAPPENED?

ALEXEI SEBASTIAN HAS
JUST PLAYED HIS LAST ROLE.

BUT MAX, HOW DID YOU
KNOW HE WAS THE IMPOSTOR?

WELL, IT WAS REALLY
QUITE SIMPLE, CHIEF.

YOU SEE, I REMEMBERED THAT
SEBASTIAN HAD WEAK EYES.

SO I MERELY TOOK THIS LAMP

AND FLASHED IT IN HIS EYES.

UH-OH.

I MAY HAVE MADE A
TERRIBLE MISTAKE.

IF THIS IS THE REAL CHIEF,

YOU'RE IN A LOT
OF TROUBLE, FELLA.

WELL, WITH SEBASTIAN OUT OF THE WAY I
THINK WE CAN ALL GET A GOOD NIGHT'S REST.

HE OUGHT TO GET A LONG PRISON
TERM FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER.

YES, I THINK WE'VE
GOT HIM THIS TIME.

THE TROUBLE BEFORE HAS
ALWAYS BEEN WITH WITNESSES.

SINCE NOBODY KNEW
WHAT HE REALLY LOOKS LIKE

NOBODY WAS ABLE TO
POSITIVELY IDENTIFY HIM.

THAT'S RIGHT. IF WE WERE
ASKED TO IDENTIFY HIM,

WE WOULD SAY HE
LOOKED LIKE OUR CHIEF.

ON THE OTHER HAND
THEY COULD SAY OUR CHIEF

LOOKED LIKE A FIENDISH
INTERNATIONAL KILLER.

[both chuckle]

SMART...

WELL THERE ARE TWO WAYS
OF LOOKING AT IT, CHIEF.

WELL, LIKE THE CHIEF SAYS, I THINK WE
SHOULD ALL GET A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP.

BY THE WAY, WHERE'S
MISS LUPESCU?

UH, WELL, SHE WENT
UP TO BED ALREADY.

SHE HAS TO BE UP EARLY IN
THE MORNING FOR THE TRIAL.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO SLEEP?

I'LL JUST BUNK OUT HERE ON
THE COUCH SOMEPLACE, CHIEF.

I THINK SOMEONE SHOULD
BE HERE ALL THE TIME

TO SEE THAT TANYA IS SAFE.

OH, I DON'T MIND STAYING, MAX.

UH, NO NO,

THAT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT, 99.

WELL, CALL US A CAB
THEN, MAX, WILL YOU?

- HMM?
- CALL US A CAB.

OH, RIGHT, CHIEF.

AND BE SURE AND
GET TO BED EARLY.

YOU LOOK A LITTLE TIRED.

YES WELL, I DO FEEL
A LITTLE TIRED, CHIEF,

BUT I'LL JUST SLIP INTO MY
PAJAMAS AND GET SOME SLEEP.

GOOD NIGHT, MAXIE.

- [bullet ricochets]
- [screams]

I THINK 99 OUGHTA
STAY HERE TONIGHT, 86.

YOU COME ON HOME WITH ME.

SORRY ABOUT THAT, MAX.

GOOD NIGHT, MAXIE.

[theme music playing]