All language subtitles for Get Smart S01E09 Satan Place.DVDRip.HI.cc.en.HBO

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,170 --> 00:00:06,071 TAKE IT EASY, CHIEF. NOW WATCH YOUR STEP. 2 00:00:08,976 --> 00:00:12,989 SOMEDAY, MAX, SOMEDAY I'D LIKE TO LEAVE MY APARTMENT BY THE FRONT DOOR. 3 00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:14,991 THESE PRECAUTIONS ARE NECESSARY, CHIEF. 4 00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:16,826 AFTER ALL, YOU'RE A VERY IMPORTANT MAN 5 00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:19,262 AND WE NEVER KNOW WHAT THE ENEMY IS GONNA TRY AND DO NEXT. 6 00:00:19,286 --> 00:00:22,899 I SUPPOSE YOU'RE RIGHT, BUT SOMEHOW OR ANOTHER IT DOESN'T SEEM DIGNIFIED. 7 00:00:22,923 --> 00:00:25,268 SECURITY FIRST, CHIEF. 8 00:00:25,292 --> 00:00:28,872 ANYWAY, I CERTAINLY HOPE YOU HAVE A NICE VACATION. 9 00:00:28,896 --> 00:00:31,140 - YOU'VE GOT A GOOD REST COMING TO YOU. - THANK YOU, MAX. 10 00:00:31,164 --> 00:00:33,810 - SEE YOU ON MONDAY. - YOU SURE YOU'VE GOT EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL? 11 00:00:33,834 --> 00:00:36,367 DON'T WORRY ABOUT A THING, CHIEF. YOU CAN COUNT ON ME. 12 00:00:43,009 --> 00:00:46,722 - OH! - OH, SORRY ABOUT THAT, CHIEF. 13 00:00:46,746 --> 00:00:49,426 NEVER MIND, MAX. JUST PUT THE BAGS IN THE TRUNK. 14 00:00:49,450 --> 00:00:52,451 RIGHT, CHIEF. NO SOONER SAID THAN DONE. 15 00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:58,835 - [engine grinding] - CHIEF, HAVE YOU GOT A KEY... 16 00:00:58,859 --> 00:01:01,271 WHAT'S THE MATTER, CHIEF. CAN'T YOU GET IT STARTED? 17 00:01:01,295 --> 00:01:03,829 - DOESN'T SEEM TO TURN OVER. - [engine grinding] 18 00:01:05,533 --> 00:01:08,978 WELL, NOW I DON'T CLAIM TO BE AN EXPERT ON THESE THINGS, 19 00:01:09,002 --> 00:01:13,250 BUT I'M WILLING TO MAKE A LARGE WAGER THAT I KNOW JUST WHERE THE TROUBLE IS. 20 00:01:13,274 --> 00:01:16,252 - WHERE, MAX? - THE ENGINE. 21 00:01:16,276 --> 00:01:18,421 GOOD THINKING. YOU WANT TO TAKE A LOOK THERE? 22 00:01:18,445 --> 00:01:20,423 - WHERE? - IN THE ENGINE. 23 00:01:20,447 --> 00:01:22,380 RIGHT, CHIEF. 24 00:01:34,461 --> 00:01:36,639 OKAY, TRY HER NOW. 25 00:01:36,663 --> 00:01:38,597 [engine starts] 26 00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:42,446 MAX. MAX! 27 00:01:42,470 --> 00:01:44,069 CARBURETOR. 28 00:01:48,808 --> 00:01:51,721 MAX, COME ON! MAX, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 29 00:01:51,745 --> 00:01:53,645 SOUNDS PRETTY GOOD NOW. 30 00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:59,496 - YOU'RE GETTING A BACKFIRE. - MAX! MAX! 31 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,653 HELP ME! [groans] 32 00:02:08,862 --> 00:02:11,874 OKAY, CHIEF. I'LL JUST TAKE THESE SUITCASES 33 00:02:11,898 --> 00:02:13,876 AND PUT 'EM IN THE TRUNK. 34 00:02:13,900 --> 00:02:16,168 - [tires screech] - CHIEF! 35 00:02:17,404 --> 00:02:19,438 CHIEF, YOU FORGOT YOUR LUGGAGE! 36 00:02:21,442 --> 00:02:24,009 HURRY, HURRY, HURRY. 37 00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:28,980 [theme music playing] 38 00:03:24,838 --> 00:03:28,151 I'M SORRY, WINDISH, BUT I JUST CAN'T SUBSCRIBE 39 00:03:28,175 --> 00:03:30,253 TO THE THEORY THAT THE CHIEF MET WITH FOUL PLAY. 40 00:03:30,277 --> 00:03:32,255 NOW LET'S FACE THE FACTS, 86. 41 00:03:32,279 --> 00:03:36,114 THE AUTOMOBILE WAS FOUND ABANDONED 10 MILES AWAY ABOUT TWO HOURS AGO. 42 00:03:38,085 --> 00:03:40,563 WE WENT OVER THE CAR VERY THOROUGHLY, MAX, AND WE FOUND A FEW THINGS. 43 00:03:40,587 --> 00:03:42,798 - THEY'RE IN HERE. - OH, THANK YOU, 99. 44 00:03:42,822 --> 00:03:45,034 LET'S SEE WHAT WE'VE GOT HERE. 45 00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:47,403 STRANDS OF HAIR, 46 00:03:47,427 --> 00:03:49,787 ODD-SHAPED PIECE OF METAL... 47 00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:54,099 BUTTON... 48 00:03:55,168 --> 00:03:58,647 AND THIS PIECE OF PAPER. 49 00:03:58,671 --> 00:04:01,084 OKAY, WINDISH, NOW FOR A LITTLE 50 00:04:01,108 --> 00:04:03,086 BASIC DETECTIVE WORK. 51 00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:05,710 - THIS SHOULD BE INTERESTING. - GO AHEAD, MAX. 52 00:04:11,885 --> 00:04:15,064 - WHAT'S YOUR CONCLUSION, MAX? - THE CHIEF HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED. 53 00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:18,267 MAY I ASK WHICH ONE OF THESE ITEMS LED YOU TO THAT CONCLUSION? 54 00:04:18,291 --> 00:04:21,671 - THIS INNOCENT-LOOKING PIECE OF PAPER. - WHY, MAX? WHAT IS IT? 55 00:04:21,695 --> 00:04:24,073 A RANSOM NOTE. 56 00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:27,977 THEY WANT $200,000 FOR THE CHIEF, OR THEY'RE GOING TO KILL HIM. 57 00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:30,813 NOW WHERE ARE WE GOING TO GET THAT KIND OF MONEY? 58 00:04:30,837 --> 00:04:33,750 COULDN'T WE ASK THE GOVERNMENT FOR HELP? 59 00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:36,485 99, WE'RE A TOP-SECRET ORGANIZATION. 60 00:04:36,509 --> 00:04:38,854 NOT EVEN THE STATE DEPARTMENT KNOWS ABOUT US. 61 00:04:38,878 --> 00:04:42,292 WE JUST CAN'T GO RUNNING TO THEM EVERY TIME WE'VE GOT A LITTLE PROBLEM. 62 00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:45,829 THEN WHAT ABOUT CONGRESS, MAX? THEY COULD PUT THROUGH A SPECIAL APPROPRIATION. 63 00:04:45,853 --> 00:04:48,031 - HOW LONG WOULD THAT TAKE? - THREE MONTHS. 64 00:04:48,055 --> 00:04:50,900 - WELL, WHAT IF IT WAS AN EMERGENCY? - FOUR MONTHS. 65 00:04:50,924 --> 00:04:53,870 - FORGET IT. - I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT, MAX. 66 00:04:53,894 --> 00:04:55,871 IT'S JUST THAT I'M SO WORRIED ABOUT OUR CHIEF. 67 00:04:55,895 --> 00:04:58,241 WELL, I'M WORRIED ABOUT THE CHIEF TOO, 99. 68 00:04:58,265 --> 00:05:00,243 MY GOSH. 69 00:05:00,267 --> 00:05:02,312 THERE'S NO ONE FONDER OF THE CHIEF THAN I AM 70 00:05:02,336 --> 00:05:04,513 AND NO ONE CLOSER TO THE CHIEF. 71 00:05:04,537 --> 00:05:06,749 BUT $200,000... 72 00:05:06,773 --> 00:05:09,018 AFTER ALL, HE IS A USED CHIEF. 73 00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:13,189 MAX, MAYBE THIS IS SOMETHING THAT YOU SHOULD TAKE RIGHT TO THE TOP. 74 00:05:13,213 --> 00:05:15,191 YOU MEAN, CALL HIM? 75 00:05:15,215 --> 00:05:17,693 OH, I COULDN'T DO THAT, 99. 76 00:05:17,717 --> 00:05:19,996 MAYBE I CAN GET IN TOUCH WITH ONE OF HIS AIDES. 77 00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:23,466 MAX, IT'S GOT TO BE HIM. 78 00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:26,236 MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT. IT'S JUST THAT I HATE TO BOTHER HIM. 79 00:05:26,260 --> 00:05:28,471 HE HAS SO MANY PROBLEMS NOW. 80 00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:31,028 WELL, I'LL USE THE HOTLINE. 81 00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:49,726 HELLO, SIR? UH, THIS IS MAXWELL SMART, 82 00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:51,894 AGENT 86 FROM CONTROL. 83 00:05:51,918 --> 00:05:53,896 UH, FINE, THANK YOU, SIR. 84 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:57,233 UH, SIR, I DON'T EXACTLY KNOW HOW TO TELL YOU THIS, BUT, UH, 85 00:05:57,257 --> 00:06:00,036 OUR CHIEF HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED. 86 00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:02,772 YES, WE THINK IT'S A SHAME TOO, SIR. 87 00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:06,508 WELL, THEY WANT $200,000 FOR HIS RETURN, 88 00:06:06,532 --> 00:06:09,746 AND WE THOUGHT PERHAPS YOU COULD HELP US. 89 00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:12,014 OH. WELL, THANK YOU, SIR. 90 00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:14,016 THAT'S VERY NICE OF YOU. 91 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:16,518 WE CERTAINLY APPRECIATE IT. YES, SIR. THANK YOU. 92 00:06:16,542 --> 00:06:18,520 WHAT DID HE SAY, MAX? 93 00:06:18,544 --> 00:06:21,012 HE SAID TO PUT HIM DOWN FOR $12. 94 00:06:27,921 --> 00:06:30,032 YOU'LL NEVER GET AWAY WITH THIS, WHOEVER YOU ARE. 95 00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:33,336 I'M SORRY. I NEGLECTED TO INTRODUCE MYSELF. 96 00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:37,373 MY NAME IS SATAN... HARVEY SATAN. 97 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:40,543 HOW LONG DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HOLD ME HERE BEFORE MY MEN FIND ME? 98 00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:42,533 THEY'LL NEVER FIND YOU HERE. 99 00:06:44,338 --> 00:06:48,484 MY PRIVATE SANATORIUM IS TOO WELL HIDDEN. 100 00:06:48,508 --> 00:06:52,355 BESIDES, YOU'LL BE BACK IN YOUR CONTROL HEADQUARTERS SOON ENOUGH, 101 00:06:52,379 --> 00:06:54,424 AFTER THEY'VE PAID YOUR RANSOM. 102 00:06:54,448 --> 00:06:56,426 YOU MEAN THIS IS JUST A KIDNAPPING? 103 00:06:56,450 --> 00:07:00,029 NO, NOT JUST A KIDNAPPING. 104 00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:04,367 AFTER YOUR ORGANIZATION HAS PAID THE $200,000 WE'RE ASKING FOR YOU, 105 00:07:04,391 --> 00:07:07,771 WE'LL SEND YOU BACK TO THEM, AND YOU'LL BE IN PERFECT HEALTH, 106 00:07:07,795 --> 00:07:09,939 BUT YOU'LL BE WORKING FOR KAOS. 107 00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:13,375 THERE IS NO WAY YOU CAN FORCE ME TO WORK FOR KAOS. 108 00:07:13,399 --> 00:07:15,445 AS WE SPEAK, AT THIS VERY MOMENT, 109 00:07:15,469 --> 00:07:19,082 A CERTAIN DR. LAZLO VON HAVOC IS ON A PLANE FROM EUROPE. 110 00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:22,085 I'VE NEVER MET THE MAN, BUT I'VE BEEN LED TO BELIEVE THAT HE CAN PERFORM 111 00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:24,053 THE MOST INCREDIBLE OPERATION 112 00:07:24,077 --> 00:07:25,989 THAT WILL TURN YOU 113 00:07:26,013 --> 00:07:29,358 INTO OUR WILLING SLAVE. 114 00:07:29,382 --> 00:07:32,394 IMAGINE, RUDOLPH... THE CHIEF OF CONTROL 115 00:07:32,418 --> 00:07:34,397 A KAOS MAN. 116 00:07:34,421 --> 00:07:36,420 THE DOOR, RUDOLPH. 117 00:07:39,225 --> 00:07:41,203 YOUR NEW QUARTERS. 118 00:07:41,227 --> 00:07:43,205 RUDOLPH... 119 00:07:43,229 --> 00:07:45,374 WHY ARE YOU PUTTING ME IN THERE? 120 00:07:45,398 --> 00:07:48,878 WE HAVE TO LOWER YOUR BODY TEMPERATURE FOR THE OPERATION TONIGHT. 121 00:07:48,902 --> 00:07:51,342 I HOPE IT'S NOT TOO UNCOMFORTABLE. 122 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,618 MY ADVICE TO YOU, CHIEF, 123 00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:58,082 IS TRY TO STAY COOL. 124 00:08:00,714 --> 00:08:03,125 Max: WE'LL NEVER GET $200,000. 125 00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:05,328 43.50 FROM THE LAB TECHNICIANS. 126 00:08:05,352 --> 00:08:08,164 "43.50... LAB." 127 00:08:08,188 --> 00:08:10,300 WOW! HERE'S ONE FOR $500! 128 00:08:10,324 --> 00:08:12,768 $500? NOW THAT'S GREAT. 129 00:08:12,792 --> 00:08:15,171 NOW WE'RE GETTING SOMEPLACE. WHO'S THAT FROM? 130 00:08:15,195 --> 00:08:18,096 - THE BOYS IN COUNTERFEITING. - "COUNTERFEIT..." 131 00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:24,280 ONLY A FEW MORE CHANCES LEFT ON OUR PUNCHBOARD. 132 00:08:24,304 --> 00:08:26,315 TAKE A CHANCE ON OUR CHIEF. 133 00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:28,417 GET THEM NOW. ONLY A FEW MORE LEFT. 134 00:08:28,441 --> 00:08:31,587 - [phone rings] - THAT'S THE CHIEF'S SPECIAL PHONE. 135 00:08:31,611 --> 00:08:35,124 - SHOULD WE ANSWER IT? - THAT'S HIS PRIVATE WIRE. 136 00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:37,628 I'M GOING TO ANSWER IT. 137 00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:42,954 [continues ringing] 138 00:08:58,438 --> 00:09:00,371 [phone continues ringing] 139 00:09:10,684 --> 00:09:12,983 MAXWELL SMART, AGENT 86 HERE. 140 00:09:15,622 --> 00:09:18,801 WOULD YOU MIND REPEATING THAT PLEASE? 141 00:09:18,825 --> 00:09:21,204 Satan: I said I'm speaking for your chief. 142 00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:23,839 If you wish to see him again alive, 143 00:09:23,863 --> 00:09:26,309 pay close attention to my instructions. 144 00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:29,112 - GET A TRACER ON THIS CALL, HODGKINS. - Don't do it, Hodgkins. 145 00:09:29,136 --> 00:09:32,782 - GO AHEAD, HODGKINS. - Stay there, Hodgkins. 146 00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:35,618 At 8:00 this evening, one of your agents will take the ransom money 147 00:09:35,642 --> 00:09:38,755 and carry it in a suitcase into Municipal Park. 148 00:09:38,779 --> 00:09:43,526 Enter the park by the southwest entrance and keep walking. 149 00:09:43,550 --> 00:09:47,430 You'll receive further instructions in the park. 150 00:09:47,454 --> 00:09:49,731 One agent, no more, 151 00:09:49,755 --> 00:09:51,734 or your chief will be killed. 152 00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:54,303 WAIT A MINUTE. HOW DO WE KNOW YOU REALLY HAVE THE CHIEF? 153 00:09:54,327 --> 00:09:56,405 Well, who else knows about his abduction 154 00:09:56,429 --> 00:10:00,342 besides you and me? [chuckles] 155 00:10:00,366 --> 00:10:02,511 - All right, Hodgkins, you can go now. - [line clicks] 156 00:10:02,535 --> 00:10:05,315 - YES, SIR. - HODGKINS, COME BACK HERE. 157 00:10:05,339 --> 00:10:07,951 GET A BRIEFCASE AND FILL IT WITH ALL THE MONEY WE'VE COLLECTED. 158 00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:10,029 AND DON'T WASTE ANY TIME. THERE'S NO TIME TO LOSE. 159 00:10:10,053 --> 00:10:10,453 YES, 86. 160 00:10:10,477 --> 00:10:13,122 - WHAT'S YOUR PLAN, MAX? - I'M GOING INTO THAT PARK. 161 00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:15,157 - ALONE? - ALONE. 162 00:10:15,181 --> 00:10:17,326 BUT, MAX, YOU'LL BE IN TERRIBLE DANGER. 163 00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:20,251 I KNOW. THOSE PARKS ARE MURDER AT NIGHT. 164 00:10:30,897 --> 00:10:33,943 Satan: DON'T TURN AROUND. 165 00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:36,300 TAKE TWO STEPS BACKWARDS. 166 00:10:39,573 --> 00:10:41,539 THE BRIEFCASE. 167 00:10:43,242 --> 00:10:46,255 JUST A MINUTE. HOW DO I KNOW WE'LL GET THE CHIEF BACK? 168 00:10:46,279 --> 00:10:49,692 DON'T WORRY, YOU'LL GET HIM. SATAN ALWAYS KEEPS HIS WORD. 169 00:10:49,716 --> 00:10:52,962 SATAN? HARVEY SATAN OF KAOS? 170 00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:55,497 - THAT'S RIGHT. - HMM, I THOUGHT HE WAS IN JAIL. 171 00:10:55,521 --> 00:10:59,101 WASN'T HE CONVICTED OF ARSON, TREASON, INSURRECTION AND MASS MURDER? 172 00:10:59,125 --> 00:11:02,871 HE GOT TIME OFF FOR GOOD BEHAVIOR. 173 00:11:02,895 --> 00:11:06,964 - DON'T TRY TO FOLLOW ME. - DON'T WORRY, I WOULDN'T THINK OF IT. 174 00:11:21,548 --> 00:11:23,526 HELLO, CONTROL CENTRAL? 175 00:11:23,550 --> 00:11:25,561 THIS IS AGENT 86. 176 00:11:25,585 --> 00:11:29,932 STAND BY TO EXECUTE CHECKPOINT TRACKING PLAN ON HARVEY SATAN. 177 00:11:29,956 --> 00:11:32,635 ARE ALL OUR AGENTS AT THEIR PROPER CHECKPOINTS? 178 00:11:32,659 --> 00:11:35,037 GOOD. I'M PUTTING A HOLD ON MY SHOE 179 00:11:35,061 --> 00:11:37,094 AND SWITCHING TO MY WALLET. 180 00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:43,479 HELLO, CHECKPOINT CHARLIE? 181 00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:45,481 IS THAT YOU, 99? 182 00:11:45,505 --> 00:11:48,083 PICK UP SUSPECT AT WEST STREET EXIT. 183 00:11:48,107 --> 00:11:51,153 YES, THAT WOULD BE NORTH ON LEONARD STREET. UH-HUH. 184 00:11:51,177 --> 00:11:53,244 HE'S IN HIS CAR? GOOD. 185 00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:57,693 HELLO, CENTRAL? I'M SWITCHING TO MY EYEGLASSES. 186 00:11:57,717 --> 00:12:00,518 PUT A HOLD ON MY WALLET, BUT KEEP MY SHOE OPEN. 187 00:12:05,792 --> 00:12:07,770 HELLO, CHECKPOINT BAKER? 188 00:12:07,794 --> 00:12:10,239 SUSPECT IS HEADING YOUR WAY. 189 00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:13,308 WHERE? EAST ON WYCKOFF AVENUE, EH? 190 00:12:13,332 --> 00:12:15,967 ALL RIGHT, MOVE OUT AT A SAFE DISTANCE. 191 00:12:17,503 --> 00:12:21,005 CONTROL CENTRAL, I'M SWITCHING TO MY TIE. 192 00:12:26,179 --> 00:12:28,925 HELLO? HELLO? 193 00:12:28,949 --> 00:12:31,627 HELLO? 194 00:12:31,651 --> 00:12:34,163 HELLO, CONTROL CENTRAL? WHAT'S THE MATTER? 195 00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:37,299 OH, MY TIE IS BUSY. WELL, UH, 196 00:12:37,323 --> 00:12:40,068 PUT ME ON MY HANDKERCHIEF, EXTENSION FOUR. 197 00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:42,271 [line ringing] 198 00:12:42,295 --> 00:12:45,974 NEVER MIND THE HANDKERCHIEF, CENTRAL. MY BELT IS RINGING. 199 00:12:45,998 --> 00:12:47,932 [ringing] 200 00:12:50,403 --> 00:12:53,449 HELLO? CHECKPOINT EASY? 201 00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:56,073 YES. I'LL BE RIGHT WITH YOU. HOLD ON. 202 00:12:58,177 --> 00:13:01,357 HELLO, CENTRAL? CANCEL MY HANDKERCHIEF, HOLD MY GLASSES, 203 00:13:01,381 --> 00:13:05,182 CUT OFF MY SHOE, AND SEE IF YOU CAN GET THAT GUY OFF MY TIE. 204 00:13:06,686 --> 00:13:10,900 [line ringing] 205 00:13:10,924 --> 00:13:13,636 HELLO? HELLO? 86 HERE. 206 00:13:13,660 --> 00:13:17,005 HELLO, ZEBRA? LISTEN, THERE'S A LITTLE STATIC ON MY GARTER. 207 00:13:17,029 --> 00:13:19,942 COULD YOU SPEAK UP? AH, GOOD. THAT'S MUCH BETTER. 208 00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:23,812 UH-HUH. THE CAR HAS PULLED UP TO A PRIVATE SANATORIUM? 209 00:13:23,836 --> 00:13:26,915 HMM. THAT MUST BE SATAN'S HIDEOUT. 210 00:13:26,939 --> 00:13:30,886 WHAT'S THE NAME OF THE SANATORIUM? 211 00:13:30,910 --> 00:13:32,977 I SHOULD'VE GUESSED IT. 212 00:13:34,046 --> 00:13:36,247 "SATAN PLACE." 213 00:13:51,731 --> 00:13:53,843 IT LOOKS IMPENETRABLE, MAX. 214 00:13:53,867 --> 00:13:55,845 I KNOW, 99, BUT IT'S THE ONLY WAY. 215 00:13:55,869 --> 00:13:58,246 WE CAN'T FORCE OUR WAY IN OR THEY'LL KILL THE CHIEF. 216 00:13:58,270 --> 00:14:01,138 - I THINK WE'D BETTER TAKE A CLOSER LOOK AROUND. - RIGHT. 217 00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:07,490 - I'LL CHECK THE WALL. - WATCH IT, 99! 218 00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:09,792 - HAVE YOU GOT A HAIRPIN? - NO. 219 00:14:09,816 --> 00:14:13,262 - I'VE GOT ONE. - MAX! 220 00:14:13,286 --> 00:14:15,786 I USE IT FOR PICKING LOCKS. 221 00:14:17,123 --> 00:14:19,090 STAND BACK, 99. 222 00:14:29,669 --> 00:14:33,349 JUST AS I THOUGHT... ELECTRIC GRASS. 223 00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:36,085 NOW HOW ARE WE GONNA GET IN THERE? 224 00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:39,121 I KNOW. WHAT ABOUT THE GREEN VOLT MANEUVER? 225 00:14:39,145 --> 00:14:41,479 HMM, THAT MIGHT JUST WORK. 226 00:14:45,318 --> 00:14:48,497 UH-HUH. LOOK, 99. 227 00:14:48,521 --> 00:14:50,688 HERE'S THE WIRE. 228 00:14:52,959 --> 00:14:55,604 AND HERE'S THE PLUG. 229 00:14:55,628 --> 00:14:57,562 LOOK. 230 00:15:00,834 --> 00:15:03,412 NO WONDER WE COULDN'T FIND IT. 231 00:15:03,436 --> 00:15:05,596 THE NIGHT LIGHT FELL OUT. 232 00:15:08,308 --> 00:15:10,419 99, WE'VE GOT TO GET OVER THAT WALL. 233 00:15:10,443 --> 00:15:13,689 IT'S TOO HIGH TO JUMP. WHAT HAVE WE GOT IN THE TOOL KIT? 234 00:15:13,713 --> 00:15:16,458 UM... 235 00:15:16,482 --> 00:15:18,416 OH, TRY THIS, MAX. 236 00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:22,064 HOW AM I GONNA GET OVER THE WALL WITH A TELESCOPE? 237 00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:24,432 THAT'S NOT A TELESCOPE, MAX. IT'S A VAULTING POLE. 238 00:15:24,456 --> 00:15:27,258 - OH, GOOD. I'LL GO FIRST, AND YOU FOLLOW ME. - RIGHT. 239 00:15:39,539 --> 00:15:42,384 [gasps] 240 00:15:42,408 --> 00:15:45,921 - WHAT ELSE HAVE YOU GOT, 99? - THESE CATERPILLAR SHOES. 241 00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:49,925 OH, GOOD. THESE SUCTION CUPS WILL FIT TO PRACTICALLY ANYTHING. 242 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,728 I'LL TAKE THEM... 243 00:15:52,752 --> 00:15:55,086 MAX, LOOK OUT. 244 00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,801 [whispering] IT'S A TAXICAB. 245 00:15:59,825 --> 00:16:01,771 - [car door shuts] - THERE ARE TWO PEOPLE GETTING OUT. 246 00:16:01,795 --> 00:16:03,839 THEY'RE COMING THIS WAY. WE'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE. 247 00:16:03,863 --> 00:16:05,875 - KNOCK THIS INTO THE BUSHES AND COVER IT. - RIGHT. 248 00:16:05,899 --> 00:16:08,098 GET BEHIND THIS TREE. 249 00:16:16,242 --> 00:16:17,081 WHAT IS IT, DOCTOR? 250 00:16:17,105 --> 00:16:18,954 [German accent] LET ME SEE YOUR FLASHLIGHT. 251 00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:21,323 I THINK THIS TAXI DRIVER SHORTCHANGED ME. 252 00:16:21,347 --> 00:16:25,060 Woman: I HOPE MR. SATAN HAS PREPARED THE PATIENT FOR SURGERY, DR. VON HAVOC. 253 00:16:25,084 --> 00:16:27,596 I'M SURE HE HAS. I'VE GIVEN HIM FULL INSTRUCTIONS. 254 00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:29,965 - BY PHONE? - NO, I'VE NEVER TALKED TO THE MAN. 255 00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:32,023 WE ALWAYS COMMUNICATE BY MAIL. 256 00:16:33,292 --> 00:16:35,270 PARDON ME, 257 00:16:35,294 --> 00:16:37,706 - ARE YOU LOOKING FOR HARVEY SATAN? - WHY, YES. 258 00:16:37,730 --> 00:16:40,542 - WOULD YOU STEP THIS WAY, PLEASE? - WHICH WAY? 259 00:16:40,566 --> 00:16:42,686 [German accent] DAT VAY. 260 00:16:46,305 --> 00:16:48,784 - 99, RING THE BELL. - RIGHT. 261 00:16:48,808 --> 00:16:50,741 [bell rings] 262 00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:58,827 [German accent] GOOD EVENING. I AM DR. VON HAVOC, 263 00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:01,063 AND THIS IS MY ASSISTANT. 264 00:17:01,087 --> 00:17:03,327 WE'VE BEEN EXPECTING YOU, DOCTOR. 265 00:17:07,927 --> 00:17:09,905 PLEASE, HURRY. 266 00:17:09,929 --> 00:17:12,741 SATAN WANTS TO GET THIS OVER AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE. 267 00:17:12,765 --> 00:17:14,699 [clicks heels] 268 00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:22,884 WE'VE DONE EVERYTHING ACCORDING TO THE INSTRUCTIONS 269 00:17:22,908 --> 00:17:24,886 WE RECEIVED FROM KAOS, DR. VON HAVOC. 270 00:17:24,910 --> 00:17:28,891 AH, THAT IS GOOD, THAT IS GOOD. YOU HAVE DONE WELL, MR. SATAN. 271 00:17:28,915 --> 00:17:33,061 [testily] I ALWAYS DO WELL, DR, VON HAVOC. 272 00:17:33,085 --> 00:17:36,966 YOUR PATIENT IS READY. HIS BODY TEMPERATURE IS PRECISELY AS REQUESTED. 273 00:17:36,990 --> 00:17:39,869 AH, THAT IS GOOD. WHERE IS THE PATIENT? BRING HIM IN, PLEASE. 274 00:17:39,893 --> 00:17:42,159 RUDOLPH, GREGOR. 275 00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:50,534 AH. YES, OF COURSE. 276 00:17:53,639 --> 00:17:57,820 NOT MUCH OF A SPECIMEN, MR. SATAN, 277 00:17:57,844 --> 00:18:00,288 BUT WE'LL DO WHAT WE CAN. 278 00:18:00,312 --> 00:18:03,658 AND NOW IF YOU DON'T MIND, GENTLEMEN, MY ASSISTANT AND I 279 00:18:03,682 --> 00:18:07,495 WOULD LIKE TO BE LEFT ALONE WITH THE PATIENT. 280 00:18:07,519 --> 00:18:09,787 CERTAINLY, DR. VON HAVOC. RUDOLPH. 281 00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:17,973 - [door shuts] - LOOK, 99. HE'S FROZEN SOLID. 282 00:18:17,997 --> 00:18:19,975 - POOR CHIEF! - LET'S GET HIM OUT OF HERE. 283 00:18:19,999 --> 00:18:22,032 RIGHT. 284 00:18:27,073 --> 00:18:29,051 CHIEF? 285 00:18:29,075 --> 00:18:31,553 IT'S ME, MAX. CAN YOU HEAR ME? 286 00:18:31,577 --> 00:18:33,756 [loud tapping] 287 00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:36,958 MAX, WHY DON'T YOU TRY TO CONTACT HEADQUARTERS? 288 00:18:36,982 --> 00:18:39,595 HMM, THAT'S A GOOD IDEA, 99. I'LL CALL THEM ON MY SHOE, 289 00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:41,952 AND YOU BREATHE HEAVILY ON THE CHIEF. 290 00:18:48,528 --> 00:18:51,207 HELLO, CONTROL HEADQUARTERS? SMART HERE. 291 00:18:51,231 --> 00:18:54,476 HOW SOON CAN YOU MOVE IN ON SATAN PLACE? 292 00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:57,045 GOOD. BRING ROPES, GUNS, 293 00:18:57,069 --> 00:18:59,881 30 MEN, AND THREE CONTAINERS OF HOT COFFEE. 294 00:18:59,905 --> 00:19:04,086 - HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR COFFEE, 99? - UH, CREAM AND SUGAR. 295 00:19:04,110 --> 00:19:06,755 ONE WITH CREAM AND SUGAR AND ONE BLACK. HOW ABOUT YOU, CHIEF? 296 00:19:06,779 --> 00:19:10,648 - MM. - UH, CANCEL ONE OF THE COFFEES AND MAKE IT TEA. RIGHT. 297 00:19:13,352 --> 00:19:16,598 WELL, THEY'LL BE HERE IN 10 MINUTES. WE'VE GOT TO STALL UNTIL THEY GET HERE. 298 00:19:16,622 --> 00:19:18,633 OH, MAX, HE'LL NEVER BE THAWED OUT IN TIME. 299 00:19:18,657 --> 00:19:21,203 WELL, WE'LL JUST HAVE TO TRY AND TAKE HIM OUT THE WAY HE IS. 300 00:19:21,227 --> 00:19:23,338 [exhales] RIGHT. 301 00:19:23,362 --> 00:19:27,008 - CAREFUL. YOU'LL CRACK HIM. - WELL, DOCTORS? 302 00:19:27,032 --> 00:19:29,845 - WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? - AH, MR. SATAN! 303 00:19:29,869 --> 00:19:32,280 HOW FORTUNATE YOU ARRIVED JUST IN TIME. 304 00:19:32,304 --> 00:19:34,416 THE PRISONER WAS TRYING TO ESCAPE. 305 00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:36,485 RIGHT. WE CAUGHT HIM JUST IN TIME. 306 00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:39,555 HOW COULD HE MOVE WHEN HE'S FROZEN SOLID? 307 00:19:39,579 --> 00:19:42,724 THAT IS NOT MY PROBLEM. I AM JUST THE DOCTOR HERE. 308 00:19:42,748 --> 00:19:44,960 YOU WILL HAVE TO ASK HIM THAT YOURSELF. 309 00:19:44,984 --> 00:19:48,063 AND NOW IF YOU GENTLEMEN DON'T MIND, I WOULD APPRECIATE IT 310 00:19:48,087 --> 00:19:52,000 IF YOU WOULD PUT THE PATIENT ON THE OPERATING TABLE. 311 00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:55,926 YES, RUDOLPH. PUT THE PATIENT ON THE OPERATING TABLE. 312 00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:01,565 WE'VE GOT TO DELAY THE OPERATION UNTIL I CAN FIGURE SOMETHING OUT. 313 00:20:02,768 --> 00:20:05,747 MOST PECULIAR, RUDOLPH. MOST PECULIAR. 314 00:20:05,771 --> 00:20:08,616 GREGOR, I WANT YOU TO WATCH THE DOCTOR CLOSELY. 315 00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:13,110 - RUDOLPH, GO OUT AND CHECK THE GROUNDS. - YES, SIR. 316 00:20:16,148 --> 00:20:19,561 DOCTOR, I WANT YOUR PATIENT OUT OF HERE WITHIN THE HOUR. 317 00:20:19,585 --> 00:20:23,732 - UH, WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT OTHER MAN, RUDOLPH? - OUT ON THE GROUNDS. 318 00:20:23,756 --> 00:20:26,601 I SENT HIM OUT TO MAKE SURE EVERYTHING WAS IN ORDER. 319 00:20:26,625 --> 00:20:29,471 WELL, DOCTOR, ARE YOU READY TO BEGIN? 320 00:20:29,495 --> 00:20:33,609 UH, YES, WE'LL BEGIN JUST AS SOON AS THE DOCTOR WASHES HIS HANDS. 321 00:20:33,633 --> 00:20:38,080 MY HANDS? AH, YES, OF COURSE! MY HANDS. 322 00:20:38,104 --> 00:20:40,416 I WILL COMMENCE WITH THE OPERATION 323 00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:43,185 AS SOON AS I HAVE WASHED MY HANDS. 324 00:20:43,209 --> 00:20:45,621 I DON'T SUPPOSE 325 00:20:45,645 --> 00:20:48,424 I HAVE TIME TO BRUSH MY TEETH? 326 00:20:48,448 --> 00:20:51,493 AH, I DIDN'T THINK SO. 327 00:20:51,517 --> 00:20:55,997 AMERICANS! EVERYTHING IS RUSH RUSH RUSH! 328 00:20:56,021 --> 00:20:58,889 NO WONDER YOU NEVER GET ANYTHING DONE. 329 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:02,971 ACTUALLY, THIS ROOM IS 330 00:21:02,995 --> 00:21:06,197 NOT COLD ENOUGH FOR THE OPERATION. 331 00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:16,718 - YOUR GLOVES, DOCTOR. - AH, GOOD. 332 00:21:16,742 --> 00:21:19,421 - WHY'D YOU TURN THE TEMPERATURE DOWN? - I CAN'T EXPLAIN NOW. 333 00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:21,757 JUST KEEP STALLING, AND WHEN I GIVE YOU THE SIGNAL, 334 00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:24,025 TURN ON THAT FAUCET WITH THE HOSE ATTACHED. 335 00:21:24,049 --> 00:21:26,028 - RIGHT. - AH! 336 00:21:26,052 --> 00:21:30,198 - NOW IF WE CAN JUST TAKE THE PATIENT'S TEMPERATURE. - OH, RIGHT. 337 00:21:30,222 --> 00:21:32,456 - YOUR THERMOMETER, DOCTOR. - AH, GOOD. 338 00:21:33,826 --> 00:21:35,870 [glass shatters] 339 00:21:35,894 --> 00:21:39,841 SWEEP THAT UP AND PUT IT UNDER THE PATIENT'S TONGUE. 340 00:21:39,865 --> 00:21:42,677 UH, NEVER MIND THE THERMOMETER, NURSE. 341 00:21:42,701 --> 00:21:45,847 I THINK IT IS TIME TO GET ON WITH THE OPERATION. 342 00:21:45,871 --> 00:21:48,705 NOW IF YOU WOULD JUST LAY OUT THE INSTRUMENTS. 343 00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:53,555 - HERE WE GO. - AH, GOOD. 344 00:21:53,579 --> 00:21:57,292 AH! BUT THEY ARE NOT IN THE RIGHT PLACES. 345 00:21:57,316 --> 00:21:59,861 THIS IS THE EUROPEAN STYLE. 346 00:21:59,885 --> 00:22:02,431 THIS OPERATION IS ON THE AMERICAN PLAN. 347 00:22:02,455 --> 00:22:04,767 I WILL SHOW YOU. 348 00:22:04,791 --> 00:22:08,603 DOCTOR, I THINK YOU'D BETTER OPERATE RIGHT NOW. 349 00:22:08,627 --> 00:22:12,663 HE CAN'T OPERATE. HE'S NOT DR. VON HAVOC. 350 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:18,447 I FOUND DR. VON HAVOC AND HIS ASSISTANT OUTSIDE THE WALL. 351 00:22:18,471 --> 00:22:21,016 YOU'RE RIGHT. I AM NOT DR. VON HAVOC. 352 00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:24,408 I'M MAXWELL SMART, SECRET AGENT 86. NOW, 99! 353 00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:30,559 - IT WORKED, 99! - WHAT GAVE YOU THE IDEA, MAX? 354 00:22:30,583 --> 00:22:32,549 THE FROZEN WATER IN THIS SINK. 355 00:22:34,653 --> 00:22:36,665 THAT'S THE END OF SATAN PLACE. 356 00:22:36,689 --> 00:22:40,702 YES, AND THAT'S THE END OF THOSE THREE HARDENED CRIMINALS. 357 00:22:40,726 --> 00:22:44,706 MAX, WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE IF YOUR PLAN TO FREEZE THEM HADN'T WORKED? 358 00:22:44,730 --> 00:22:47,375 - I HAD AN ALTERNATE PLAN. - WHAT WAS THAT? 359 00:22:47,399 --> 00:22:49,377 [German accent] I WAS GOING TO GO RIGHT AHEAD 360 00:22:49,401 --> 00:22:51,814 AND OPERATE ON THE CHIEF. 361 00:22:51,838 --> 00:22:54,305 [mumbling] 362 00:23:02,181 --> 00:23:04,292 WELL, CHIEF, WHO DOES IT FEEL TO BE BACK 363 00:23:04,316 --> 00:23:07,476 SAFE AND WARM IN YOUR OWN OFFICE AGAIN? 364 00:23:08,688 --> 00:23:10,654 WAIT A MINUTE. 365 00:23:12,357 --> 00:23:15,704 WHERE'S MY PAINTING? WHERE'S MY DESK SET? 366 00:23:15,728 --> 00:23:17,906 - MY CHAIR! - IT'S ALL RIGHT, CHIEF. 367 00:23:17,930 --> 00:23:20,475 IT'S JUST THAT WE HAD TO RAISE THE MONEY FOR YOUR RANSOM. 368 00:23:20,499 --> 00:23:22,778 YOU SOLD ALL MY OFFICE FURNITURE? 369 00:23:22,802 --> 00:23:25,280 AUCTIONED, CHIEF. NOT SOLD. 370 00:23:25,304 --> 00:23:27,649 WELL, WHERE'S THE $200,000? 371 00:23:27,673 --> 00:23:30,051 WELL, WE DIDN'T QUITE GET THAT MUCH, CHIEF. 372 00:23:30,075 --> 00:23:33,744 150,000? 100,000? 373 00:23:35,281 --> 00:23:38,059 50,000? 374 00:23:38,083 --> 00:23:40,228 AM I GETTING WARM? 375 00:23:40,252 --> 00:23:42,497 WELL, CHIEF, LET'S LOOK AT IT THIS WAY... 376 00:23:42,521 --> 00:23:45,100 UH, YOU REMEMBER TENNYSON'S POEM, 377 00:23:45,124 --> 00:23:47,536 "CANNONS TO THE LEFT OF THEM, CANNONS TO THE RIGHT OF THEM, 378 00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:49,971 INTO THE VALLEY OF DEATH RODE THE..." 379 00:23:49,995 --> 00:23:52,240 - 600. - RIGHT. 380 00:23:52,264 --> 00:23:56,244 $600? THAT'S ALL? 381 00:23:56,268 --> 00:23:58,380 WHY DON'T YOU GO HOME AND GET SOME REST? 382 00:23:58,404 --> 00:24:01,516 YOU'LL GET A LITTLE SLEEP, YOU'LL GET WARM, AND WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT ON MONDAY. 383 00:24:01,540 --> 00:24:03,518 I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT. HAVE THEM SEND AROUND MY CAR. 384 00:24:03,542 --> 00:24:06,855 - UH, MY CAR, CHIEF. - WHAT? 385 00:24:06,879 --> 00:24:09,866 I WON IT IN THE RAFFLE. I WON IT FAIR AND SQUARE. 386 00:24:09,890 --> 00:24:10,893 YOU WON MY CAR? 387 00:24:10,917 --> 00:24:13,862 YEAH, BUT THAT'S OKAY, CHIEF. YOU CAN HAVE IT ON WEEKNIGHTS. 388 00:24:13,886 --> 00:24:15,886 [muttering] 389 00:24:16,956 --> 00:24:19,356 HE WANTS TO GO BACK TO THE ICEBOX. 390 00:24:22,361 --> 00:24:24,361 [theme music plays] 30726

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