Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:13,870 --> 00:00:17,450
Someone told me we're friends like
these, not like at Nate.
2
00:00:18,490 --> 00:00:22,070
You hang them, bang off them, these
friends go away.
3
00:00:23,130 --> 00:00:26,110
It's friends, a triple X parody.
4
00:00:28,090 --> 00:00:29,630
Everybody gets laid.
5
00:00:30,450 --> 00:00:32,070
Everybody gets laid.
6
00:00:34,970 --> 00:00:37,650
These friends love to screw.
7
00:00:38,850 --> 00:00:42,450
These friends finally score.
8
00:00:58,999 --> 00:01:03,700
And then what happened? Well, I came
home from work early, and I heard some
9
00:01:03,700 --> 00:01:08,960
strange noises in the bedroom. So I
investigated, and I caught Carol
10
00:01:08,960 --> 00:01:09,960
me. Whoa!
11
00:01:10,580 --> 00:01:11,580
That's horrible.
12
00:01:12,060 --> 00:01:13,060
I'm sorry, buddy.
13
00:01:14,220 --> 00:01:16,860
Was he, uh... Was he bigger than you?
14
00:01:17,220 --> 00:01:19,540
Joe! How can you ask that question?
15
00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:22,420
Of course it's bigger than Ross.
16
00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:24,359
Oh, yeah.
17
00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:26,440
No, that's the thing. It wasn't a man.
18
00:01:26,660 --> 00:01:27,660
It was a woman.
19
00:01:27,700 --> 00:01:31,780
Jackpot? It's not a jackpot. This is the
worst day of my life.
20
00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:33,160
Are you kidding?
21
00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:34,720
She swings both ways?
22
00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:39,440
You gotta have more threesomes than...
You know, that guy that has a lot of
23
00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:43,020
threesomes. No, she said she didn't want
to have sex with men anymore.
24
00:01:43,870 --> 00:01:45,310
I'll never get her back.
25
00:01:45,610 --> 00:01:46,610
That's not true.
26
00:01:46,810 --> 00:01:50,010
You just have to remind her why she fell
in love with you in the first place.
27
00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:51,610
No.
28
00:01:51,830 --> 00:01:52,830
Why would that?
29
00:01:53,170 --> 00:01:55,030
Come on, you're just giving false hope.
30
00:01:55,510 --> 00:01:56,510
So?
31
00:01:57,430 --> 00:02:00,930
No offense, but you're not even a
straight woman's couple to me.
32
00:02:01,430 --> 00:02:02,730
But a lesbian's?
33
00:02:03,590 --> 00:02:04,810
You're screwed, buddy.
34
00:02:08,830 --> 00:02:11,090
Hey, so you guys excited?
35
00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:17,240
About the wedding.
36
00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:20,820
Sandler and I are getting married next
week.
37
00:02:21,060 --> 00:02:22,220
Oh, the wedding.
38
00:02:22,700 --> 00:02:25,600
Oh, come on, guys. Did you guys really
forget our wedding?
39
00:02:25,860 --> 00:02:28,440
I think it's more like we blocked it
out.
40
00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:30,220
Oh, come on. It's going to be fun.
41
00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:33,480
I got arrangements of rare orchids for
the table center pieces.
42
00:02:33,780 --> 00:02:35,900
I got kind of many keys for the
appetizer course.
43
00:02:38,900 --> 00:02:40,100
And an open bar.
44
00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:41,680
We're there.
45
00:02:41,820 --> 00:02:42,820
Yeah.
46
00:02:43,420 --> 00:02:45,660
So... Sandler, just one quest remains.
47
00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:47,600
What do you like for the bachelor party?
48
00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:49,400
Blonde?
49
00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:52,520
Brunette?
50
00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:54,280
Redhead?
51
00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:56,080
Bald? Joseph!
52
00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:01,160
Not in front of the U2J Iceway?
53
00:03:01,460 --> 00:03:04,480
I don't know, Joe. Don't you even think
about it. You think a bachelor party is
54
00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:05,480
all fun and games, huh?
55
00:03:05,700 --> 00:03:08,740
Well, who's having fun when Sandler
comes home on our honeymoon with grabs?
56
00:03:09,390 --> 00:03:12,050
Yeah, besides, bachelor parties are
stupid.
57
00:03:12,310 --> 00:03:13,310
I don't want one of those.
58
00:03:14,130 --> 00:03:15,470
You mean that true?
59
00:03:16,690 --> 00:03:17,690
Of course.
60
00:03:17,810 --> 00:03:19,390
Baby, that means so much to me.
61
00:03:25,830 --> 00:03:29,910
So, Russ, what's the matter? Are you
excited?
62
00:03:30,570 --> 00:03:34,230
Yeah, great. Just a reminder of a failed
marriage to a lesbian.
63
00:03:34,490 --> 00:03:35,670
That's exactly what I need.
64
00:03:36,390 --> 00:03:37,470
Speaking of that...
65
00:03:37,990 --> 00:03:39,670
Definitely don't look behind you right
now.
66
00:03:45,070 --> 00:03:46,330
Oh, come on.
67
00:03:46,950 --> 00:03:48,910
God, I know couples are happy.
68
00:03:49,610 --> 00:03:51,950
Well, I think true. It's a beautiful
thing.
69
00:03:52,210 --> 00:03:53,210
Right, Santa?
70
00:03:54,530 --> 00:03:56,590
Santa, are you listening to me? Huh?
Yeah.
71
00:03:56,850 --> 00:03:58,470
Yeah, right, yeah. Well, then what did I
say?
72
00:03:59,110 --> 00:04:01,030
Um, oh, hey.
73
00:04:01,570 --> 00:04:04,630
Remember that thing that I wanted to
show you back at the apartment?
74
00:04:04,890 --> 00:04:05,890
No, not really.
75
00:04:05,950 --> 00:04:06,950
Yeah, that thing.
76
00:04:07,630 --> 00:04:08,630
Sorry guys.
77
00:04:08,670 --> 00:04:09,110
What
78
00:04:09,110 --> 00:04:16,670
is
79
00:04:16,670 --> 00:04:17,670
it?
80
00:04:17,690 --> 00:04:18,690
Look at this.
81
00:04:21,910 --> 00:04:24,150
Whoa, where'd you get the tent spike?
82
00:04:24,390 --> 00:04:26,330
Oh, I guess you're just so hot I can't
control myself.
83
00:04:26,770 --> 00:04:27,930
You wanna have premaritals?
84
00:04:28,490 --> 00:04:31,250
Oh boy, you really know how to make a
girl moist.
85
00:05:48,940 --> 00:05:50,060
Like that, yeah.
86
00:05:59,180 --> 00:05:59,820
Like
87
00:05:59,820 --> 00:06:16,420
that.
88
00:06:18,750 --> 00:06:19,890
Oh, God.
89
00:06:21,150 --> 00:06:22,310
Oh, God, yeah.
90
00:06:51,010 --> 00:06:53,050
oh oh
91
00:07:24,920 --> 00:07:26,320
Yeah.
92
00:07:52,300 --> 00:07:53,300
I will get some more.
93
00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:27,240
oh oh
94
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:43,580
oh
95
00:09:00,030 --> 00:09:01,430
Ooh.
96
00:09:44,910 --> 00:09:45,910
Oh.
97
00:18:56,110 --> 00:18:57,110
Thank you.
98
00:26:04,590 --> 00:26:05,590
Cheer up, Ruff.
99
00:26:06,050 --> 00:26:07,730
There's other vaginas in the sea.
100
00:26:10,970 --> 00:26:13,190
You and Rochelle would be perfect
together.
101
00:26:14,150 --> 00:26:18,610
Yeah, too bad he jizzes in his pants
every time she talks to him. No, I
102
00:26:18,630 --> 00:26:20,470
Aw, that's so romantic.
103
00:26:21,310 --> 00:26:22,310
So romantic.
104
00:26:22,530 --> 00:26:24,070
You should see what happens if you spend
on underwear.
105
00:26:24,770 --> 00:26:27,950
Oh, oh, here she comes now. Be cool.
106
00:26:28,330 --> 00:26:29,330
Cool?
107
00:26:30,110 --> 00:26:31,890
Hey, guys, did you do anything tonight?
108
00:26:32,930 --> 00:26:33,930
Duh.
109
00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:36,360
Tonight's the night of the big party.
Uh,
110
00:26:37,580 --> 00:26:38,580
what big party?
111
00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:39,960
Yeah, what big party?
112
00:26:40,220 --> 00:26:45,760
Oh! Um, I get confused. I was talking
about my AA meeting.
113
00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:49,260
I didn't know you had a drinking problem
feast.
114
00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:50,560
Oh, yeah, me?
115
00:26:50,940 --> 00:26:52,060
Big drunk.
116
00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:54,240
Huge. And a nympho, too.
117
00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:56,000
Total slut.
118
00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:58,500
Totally. Wait, what?
119
00:26:59,380 --> 00:27:02,400
Well, I'm actually part of a group that,
uh...
120
00:27:02,700 --> 00:27:04,740
I could probably help you out with that
problem of yours.
121
00:27:05,180 --> 00:27:07,900
Joe, are you a recovering sex addict?
122
00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:09,440
Yeah.
123
00:27:09,820 --> 00:27:12,720
We hold meetings in my bedroom every
night at 6 o 'clock.
124
00:27:12,940 --> 00:27:15,040
I know I'll see you there. What?
125
00:27:15,940 --> 00:27:16,940
You're an idiot.
126
00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:18,560
Oh, yeah?
127
00:27:18,740 --> 00:27:21,300
Hey, Rochelle, ask Russ how his coffee
is.
128
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:24,300
Okay. Russ, how's your coffee?
129
00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:27,540
Oh, it's good.
130
00:27:32,430 --> 00:27:34,730
So Phoebe, you wanna go bang each other?
131
00:27:35,930 --> 00:27:36,930
Okay.
132
00:27:37,910 --> 00:27:38,910
Hey, wait.
133
00:27:39,170 --> 00:27:41,130
What's all this about some big party?
134
00:27:42,210 --> 00:27:46,130
Nothing. If you don't tell me, then I'm
gonna tell Monica about the time you
135
00:27:46,130 --> 00:27:48,270
accidentally dropped toenail clippings
in her cereal.
136
00:27:48,490 --> 00:27:49,490
Okay, okay.
137
00:27:53,190 --> 00:27:55,530
We're throwing a bachelorette party for
Monica.
138
00:27:56,890 --> 00:27:58,450
Promise you won't tell Sandler.
139
00:27:58,810 --> 00:27:59,810
What?
140
00:28:01,320 --> 00:28:03,920
I thought Monica said that Sandler
couldn't have a bachelor party.
141
00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:06,060
What's the big deal?
142
00:28:06,740 --> 00:28:10,820
She needs one last fling before she
willingly locks herself in the shackles
143
00:28:10,820 --> 00:28:16,600
marriage. What a hypocrite. Hey, I don't
think this is cool either, but she
144
00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:18,380
didn't talk about her weight. That's
just mean.
145
00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:20,860
She's having a party. We're going to
have one too.
146
00:28:21,100 --> 00:28:22,100
Yeah.
147
00:28:22,220 --> 00:28:23,220
I'll tell.
148
00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:26,780
If you tell them, we'll tell her that
you told us about it. Yeah.
149
00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:28,340
Then I'll tell.
150
00:28:29,100 --> 00:28:30,100
Tell.
151
00:28:33,550 --> 00:28:34,550
Well played, sir.
152
00:28:34,950 --> 00:28:35,950
Well played.
153
00:28:36,070 --> 00:28:39,210
Yeah, party's back on. Don't worry about
the planning, Russ.
154
00:28:39,490 --> 00:28:40,490
That's my department.
155
00:28:40,770 --> 00:28:42,150
So what'd you have in mind for it?
156
00:28:42,370 --> 00:28:45,950
Well, first, I'm gonna call up Monica's
mom. She is hot.
157
00:28:46,990 --> 00:28:48,030
That's my mom.
158
00:28:48,550 --> 00:28:49,550
Oh, yeah.
159
00:28:50,450 --> 00:28:53,070
So, that's a definite no, then?
160
00:28:54,530 --> 00:28:55,690
All right, all right.
161
00:28:56,910 --> 00:28:58,330
Planning a party's hard work.
162
00:28:59,610 --> 00:29:00,890
So, uh, freebie.
163
00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:05,260
Do you have time to go fuck me before
your little AA meeting?
164
00:29:06,460 --> 00:29:09,040
I don't think I can fit you in. Yeah?
165
00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:11,200
You're just going to leave me here?
166
00:29:12,700 --> 00:29:13,700
Okay. Okay.
167
00:29:27,260 --> 00:29:28,260
I'm nervous.
168
00:29:28,380 --> 00:29:30,200
It's been a long time since I've done
this.
169
00:29:30,500 --> 00:29:31,500
Hey.
170
00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:32,960
Don't worry.
171
00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:35,500
You remember what goes where.
172
00:30:12,270 --> 00:30:13,270
How you doing?
173
00:30:44,910 --> 00:30:46,630
Jones, you've got to help me.
174
00:30:47,410 --> 00:30:49,510
I know,
175
00:30:50,710 --> 00:30:51,890
only me, only me.
176
00:30:52,650 --> 00:30:53,650
How'd you miss?
177
00:30:53,810 --> 00:30:54,810
I don't know.
178
00:30:55,490 --> 00:30:56,750
What the fuck?
179
00:30:57,550 --> 00:30:59,370
You can figure it out.
180
00:31:19,380 --> 00:31:20,380
See what's in here?
181
00:32:28,040 --> 00:32:29,040
I feel alright.
182
00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:30,320
Why'd you learn that?
183
00:32:31,940 --> 00:32:33,020
You don't want me to practice?
184
00:35:44,300 --> 00:35:46,260
Now you can get your belt on.
185
00:35:58,640 --> 00:35:59,960
Oh, my God.
186
00:36:00,980 --> 00:36:02,340
I don't want to do that.
187
00:36:36,010 --> 00:36:37,010
Mmm.
188
00:38:42,890 --> 00:38:43,890
Mwah!
189
00:39:12,430 --> 00:39:13,430
Hmm.
190
00:54:59,940 --> 00:55:02,980
Did you and Joe just... Ugh!
191
00:55:04,180 --> 00:55:07,260
I only did it to make him forget about
the bachelorette party I accidentally
192
00:55:07,260 --> 00:55:08,580
told him we were throwing for Monica.
193
00:55:09,160 --> 00:55:10,160
For what?
194
00:55:10,340 --> 00:55:11,340
Oh, God.
195
00:55:11,640 --> 00:55:13,820
Why can't I just keep my mouth shut?
196
00:55:18,080 --> 00:55:19,580
Or your legs, for that matter.
197
00:55:23,720 --> 00:55:24,718
Hey, freeze.
198
00:55:24,720 --> 00:55:25,960
Check out what I found today.
199
00:55:31,020 --> 00:55:32,720
I was a kind of weirdo. It's your dildo
helmet.
200
00:55:33,720 --> 00:55:34,720
Give me that.
201
00:55:35,600 --> 00:55:37,340
What's all this about a bachelorette
party?
202
00:55:38,340 --> 00:55:39,259
Sorry, buddy.
203
00:55:39,260 --> 00:55:42,200
Your fiance, he's going to bang a
stripper. Oh, great.
204
00:55:42,420 --> 00:55:44,960
So she gets to have all the fun while
I've got to worry about flower
205
00:55:44,960 --> 00:55:46,740
arrangements and caterers? It ain't
right.
206
00:55:47,100 --> 00:55:48,140
Oh, well.
207
00:55:48,800 --> 00:55:52,080
We're going to throw the craziest
bachelorette party this place has ever
208
00:55:52,080 --> 00:55:53,080
know just who to call.
209
00:56:19,100 --> 00:56:20,100
Relax, Monica.
210
00:56:20,200 --> 00:56:21,200
The apartment's clean.
211
00:56:21,900 --> 00:56:24,800
We have a guest coming over. I don't
want him to think we're slobs.
212
00:56:25,560 --> 00:56:27,040
Monica, he's a stripper.
213
00:56:28,240 --> 00:56:29,178
I know.
214
00:56:29,180 --> 00:56:30,180
You're right.
215
00:56:30,300 --> 00:56:31,300
I'm just nervous.
216
00:56:31,380 --> 00:56:32,820
What if Sam finds out?
217
00:56:33,060 --> 00:56:38,100
He's not going to find out. Besides,
what is so wrong with having one last
218
00:56:38,100 --> 00:56:40,620
of sexy fun while you're still single?
219
00:56:40,960 --> 00:56:42,380
Hey, I know how to have fun, okay?
220
00:56:43,520 --> 00:56:44,800
Do you think we made enough fun?
221
00:56:54,600 --> 00:56:59,780
And the apartment across the way is...
Oh my God, he's rubbing grease all over
222
00:56:59,780 --> 00:57:03,040
himself. What's wrong with you? Why are
you watching him?
223
00:57:03,560 --> 00:57:07,560
Oh my God.
224
00:57:26,320 --> 00:57:27,320
From the looks of it.
225
00:57:27,540 --> 00:57:28,540
What do you mean?
226
00:57:30,100 --> 00:57:32,920
Please. You've still got cum in your
hair.
227
00:57:33,460 --> 00:57:34,720
What were you just doing?
228
00:57:35,120 --> 00:57:36,280
By that she means who?
229
00:57:36,580 --> 00:57:37,580
What were you just doing?
230
00:57:37,640 --> 00:57:38,638
No one.
231
00:57:38,640 --> 00:57:39,680
I mean nothing.
232
00:57:40,480 --> 00:57:41,480
Freebie.
233
00:57:43,460 --> 00:57:44,820
Okay, okay.
234
00:57:45,440 --> 00:57:46,700
I can't take anymore.
235
00:57:47,560 --> 00:57:49,940
I accidentally told Joe about the party.
236
00:57:50,220 --> 00:57:52,120
Now the guys are throwing one too.
237
00:57:52,360 --> 00:57:53,360
Don't hurt me.
238
00:57:53,460 --> 00:57:54,500
Freebie, how could you?
239
00:58:11,779 --> 00:58:12,779
Carol,
240
00:58:20,500 --> 00:58:21,720
why'd you have to leave me?
241
00:58:22,040 --> 00:58:23,740
God, why'd you have to leave me?
242
00:58:25,260 --> 00:58:26,260
Carol?
243
00:58:28,720 --> 00:58:30,300
I'm only here all the time.
244
00:58:34,920 --> 00:58:38,080
What are you doing here?
245
00:58:38,560 --> 00:58:45,340
Well, me and Sandra, we were having some
seafood, and we wanted to stop and grab
246
00:58:45,340 --> 00:58:49,360
a cup of red bush tea and some muffins
before the Melissa Etheridge concert.
247
00:58:49,780 --> 00:58:52,460
Wow. How did I not know you were gay?
248
00:58:52,740 --> 00:58:55,880
What? I said, you look good. How have
you been?
249
00:58:56,720 --> 00:58:58,400
Well, truthfully...
250
00:58:59,420 --> 00:59:04,800
Yeah? I've been thinking a lot. And we
were married for three years.
251
00:59:05,220 --> 00:59:06,220
I remember.
252
00:59:06,980 --> 00:59:11,280
And we never once had a threesome.
253
00:59:11,880 --> 00:59:12,880
Didn't we?
254
00:59:14,540 --> 00:59:19,720
Actually, we didn't, did we? And don't
get me wrong, I'm totally gay now.
255
00:59:20,240 --> 00:59:22,440
Believe me, she is.
256
00:59:22,820 --> 00:59:25,640
But I always wondered what it would be
like.
257
00:59:35,500 --> 00:59:36,680
Oh, this is really awkward.
258
00:59:39,040 --> 00:59:40,120
Hi, I'm Russ.
259
01:01:12,110 --> 01:01:13,110
Thank you.
260
01:02:24,580 --> 01:02:27,380
Oh, God.
261
01:02:50,120 --> 01:02:51,120
Do you want to walk around a bit?
262
01:02:52,920 --> 01:02:53,920
Stand up.
263
01:03:22,589 --> 01:03:23,630
Oh, yeah, that's what she said.
264
01:03:56,720 --> 01:03:57,720
But...
265
01:07:10,730 --> 01:07:11,730
you
266
01:08:04,109 --> 01:08:05,430
Oh yeah.
267
01:08:41,710 --> 01:08:42,750
You want to fuck me?
268
01:08:44,010 --> 01:08:46,250
Yeah, you want to fuck me? There you go.
Fuck this pussy.
269
01:08:46,710 --> 01:08:47,710
Oh, yeah.
270
01:08:47,830 --> 01:08:49,450
Harder. Oh, fuck yeah.
17276
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof