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All language subtitles for Ep1Cd-1-NS Office 1 A XXXParody 2009

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:47,950 --> 00:00:48,950 Come in. 2 00:00:50,970 --> 00:00:51,970 Oh, hi. 3 00:00:52,290 --> 00:00:53,650 Glad you guys can make it. 4 00:00:53,850 --> 00:00:54,850 I'm Michelle. 5 00:00:55,090 --> 00:00:57,570 Oh, sorry. I guess flies on the wall don't really shake hands. 6 00:00:58,030 --> 00:01:01,030 Natural right. Okay, well, follow me. I'll show you the rest of the gang. 7 00:01:03,990 --> 00:01:04,990 Hey, people. 8 00:01:06,010 --> 00:01:07,670 Another beautiful Monday at the office. 9 00:01:08,790 --> 00:01:11,510 Now, on Friday, I reminded you of the documentary being shot here. 10 00:01:11,830 --> 00:01:13,750 So just, um, back natural. 11 00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:17,680 And action. 12 00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:32,560 Boring. 13 00:01:32,860 --> 00:01:35,620 Kylie, pour it up a little bit. You know, like usual. 14 00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:42,380 I promise you some sexified office work soon. 15 00:01:45,130 --> 00:01:47,450 I believe in the three F's in the workplace. 16 00:01:47,930 --> 00:01:50,950 Fun, funny, and inter -office fucking. 17 00:01:52,130 --> 00:01:54,590 I mean, what good are your troops if they can't enjoy the trenches? 18 00:01:55,230 --> 00:01:59,130 Sure, the work doesn't get done as fast as you'd like, but hey, everyone's 19 00:01:59,130 --> 00:02:00,130 happy. 20 00:02:01,190 --> 00:02:04,630 And that's why not only am I the boss, I'm the employee of the month. 21 00:02:07,770 --> 00:02:11,150 This is Dwayne. He is my assistant in charge of paperwork. 22 00:02:11,510 --> 00:02:13,430 Also one hell of a badminton player. 23 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:17,000 Here at Dinder Muffin, we have a badminton team to, uh, boost morale. 24 00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:18,299 Michelle's correct. 25 00:02:18,300 --> 00:02:20,680 I once hit a birdie so hard, I collapsed the opponent's lung. 26 00:02:22,040 --> 00:02:24,120 And this is my cell ninja. 27 00:02:24,620 --> 00:02:26,300 Hi -ya, hi -ya, hi -ya, hi -ya! 28 00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:31,700 You ever have one of those days? 29 00:02:33,300 --> 00:02:34,300 Every day? 30 00:02:38,140 --> 00:02:39,840 This is Jimmy's girlfriend, Sam. 31 00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:43,280 She's my receptionist and sex slave. 32 00:02:46,739 --> 00:02:47,900 Just receptionist. 33 00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:53,500 Michelle is... Who is Michelle? 34 00:02:59,820 --> 00:03:02,640 Michelle is... Let's put it this way. 35 00:03:03,300 --> 00:03:07,660 Today she asked me if I was Muslim because I'm the Shiite. 36 00:03:08,940 --> 00:03:13,180 Well, her mug says boss, so I guess she must be the boss. 37 00:03:17,690 --> 00:03:18,690 Playing solitaire? 38 00:03:18,970 --> 00:03:19,970 Yep. 39 00:03:20,070 --> 00:03:22,910 Funny, I was just telling Dwayne he can't play with himself at a deck. 40 00:03:23,170 --> 00:03:24,170 And here you are. 41 00:03:24,310 --> 00:03:27,030 Well, I just can't seem to keep my fingers off the keyboard sometimes. 42 00:03:28,410 --> 00:03:30,070 Why don't you come play with my hard drive? 43 00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:04,440 No. 44 00:09:31,050 --> 00:09:32,290 Oh, yeah. 45 00:10:00,430 --> 00:10:01,430 Yes, yes, yes. 46 00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:51,920 Yes. Yes. 47 00:20:13,939 --> 00:20:17,700 That's so good. 48 00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:09,080 Funny. 49 00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:36,940 Or our number crunching maniacs. Mwahaha. 50 00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:42,900 Ha. Guys, come on. I thought we all agreed to laugh maniacally when I 51 00:25:42,900 --> 00:25:45,960 Okay. So this is Kevin. 52 00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:47,480 This is Kylie. 53 00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:49,780 And this is Minuto. 54 00:25:50,700 --> 00:25:52,220 My fucking name is Oswald. 55 00:25:54,300 --> 00:25:56,060 Come on. It's a play on your last name. 56 00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:57,420 My last name is Poke. 57 00:25:57,940 --> 00:26:02,420 Not Hernandez or Valdez or Espinosa or any other arbitrary Latin name you can 58 00:26:02,420 --> 00:26:03,369 think of. 59 00:26:03,370 --> 00:26:04,370 It's not that hard, Michelle. 60 00:26:06,330 --> 00:26:07,330 That's what she said. 61 00:26:07,870 --> 00:26:09,810 You can't say that's what she said. 62 00:26:10,230 --> 00:26:13,690 It was just a joke. They had fun. I don't understand what the problem is. 63 00:26:14,230 --> 00:26:15,310 Sexual harassment. 64 00:26:15,510 --> 00:26:19,570 That's what the problem is. I have to answer to somebody. You have to answer 65 00:26:19,570 --> 00:26:23,050 somebody. I have to answer to you. And if you're happy, then I'm happy. 66 00:26:23,350 --> 00:26:24,370 I'm not happy. 67 00:26:24,870 --> 00:26:28,070 We need to work on this. We need to do something about this. 68 00:26:29,510 --> 00:26:30,530 I can make you happy. 69 00:26:35,379 --> 00:26:41,960 Michelle, we have a lot of work to do. I don't think you 70 00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:48,620 understand exactly what 71 00:26:48,620 --> 00:26:51,020 I'm trying to say. 72 00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:06,640 It's so much fun. 73 00:27:07,180 --> 00:27:08,180 So much fun. 74 00:27:08,460 --> 00:27:09,560 So unprofessional. 75 00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:16,960 Let me tie it down in here. 76 00:27:39,630 --> 00:27:40,630 little bit warm in there. 77 00:28:08,460 --> 00:28:10,160 I think you're getting dragged together. Yeah. 78 00:29:10,990 --> 00:29:11,990 it already 79 00:30:08,750 --> 00:30:10,110 One for the reason that her little pussy. 80 00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:50,000 I have to wrap my fingers. 81 00:32:45,800 --> 00:32:46,800 No, she doesn't know. 82 00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:50,040 Yeah. 83 00:36:10,530 --> 00:36:11,530 Thank you. 84 00:37:49,870 --> 00:37:51,030 Oh. 85 00:38:49,069 --> 00:38:52,070 Oh, my God. 86 00:39:31,720 --> 00:39:34,740 Take that cup. 87 00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:43,920 Thank you. 88 00:40:20,490 --> 00:40:21,670 I want you to come on this cot. 89 00:40:22,510 --> 00:40:23,510 This one? 90 00:40:23,870 --> 00:40:25,430 Yeah. Oh, yeah. 91 00:40:25,650 --> 00:40:26,650 Here you go. 92 00:40:27,210 --> 00:40:28,210 Oh, 93 00:40:28,710 --> 00:40:29,710 my God. 94 00:40:29,730 --> 00:40:32,270 Yeah. Yeah, show me how much you can fucking count. 95 00:40:38,390 --> 00:40:43,670 Oh, my God. I can feel you coming and getting tired like that. 96 00:41:29,140 --> 00:41:31,940 um uh 97 00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:06,960 I think you feel good. 98 00:47:01,520 --> 00:47:02,520 Thank you. 99 00:55:56,910 --> 00:55:57,910 That's what she said. 100 00:55:58,150 --> 00:56:02,650 So, after a long discussion with our regional boss, Jen, we decided it's 101 00:56:02,650 --> 00:56:05,770 important we teach the team here at Dinder Muffin the dangers of sexual 102 00:56:05,770 --> 00:56:10,230 harassment. I started this morning with Hernandez, and I plan to continue this 103 00:56:10,230 --> 00:56:11,950 afternoon with a very special lecture. 104 00:56:12,690 --> 00:56:15,550 So, yes, Mr. Derry, I would like to put you down for 100 more packs of paper. 105 00:56:17,530 --> 00:56:20,930 Well, yes, we actually offer very good financing on anybody that purchases over 106 00:56:20,930 --> 00:56:21,930 75 packs. 107 00:56:23,350 --> 00:56:24,350 Yes, Mr. Derry. 108 00:56:26,359 --> 00:56:29,280 Yes, I want to make sure you are completely happy with the deal. Whatever 109 00:56:29,280 --> 00:56:36,200 can... Whatever I... Yes, Mr. Deary, what... Yes, let me... 110 00:56:36,200 --> 00:56:39,220 I'm sorry, Mr. Deary, could you hold on one moment, please? 111 00:56:59,799 --> 00:57:02,500 Sorry about that, man. So how can I, uh, give this to you? 112 00:57:03,380 --> 00:57:06,580 Would you put it down for a hundred more packs of paper? 113 00:57:10,000 --> 00:57:11,280 Mmm, Dwayne. 114 00:57:12,480 --> 00:57:14,340 Dwayne is like a banjo -playing squirrel. 115 00:57:15,300 --> 00:57:19,240 Every day, I'm annoyed, yet amazed, all at the same time. 116 00:57:20,620 --> 00:57:22,360 I'm pretty sure he likes nuts, too. 117 00:57:33,390 --> 00:57:37,590 It was great the way you handled yourself back there with Jimmy. I mean, 118 00:57:37,590 --> 00:57:42,050 idiots need to learn they need to get together and be nice to each other or 119 00:57:42,050 --> 00:57:43,050 the heck out of here. 120 00:57:45,050 --> 00:57:46,870 I love it when you talk dirty. 121 00:57:47,210 --> 00:57:48,210 Heck, heck, heck. 122 00:57:53,490 --> 00:57:57,710 Like that? 123 00:58:35,690 --> 00:58:37,150 Yeah, I know how to do it. You do? 124 00:58:37,470 --> 00:58:38,470 Yeah. 125 00:58:40,890 --> 00:58:44,070 You like that thing? I like that. 126 00:58:47,070 --> 00:58:48,710 Take that off, though. 127 00:58:49,510 --> 00:58:51,190 You take it off. 128 00:59:28,880 --> 00:59:29,880 Do you like this? 129 00:59:30,400 --> 00:59:31,600 I like the fall? Yep. 130 00:59:58,670 --> 01:00:00,590 You are God. 131 01:01:20,190 --> 01:01:21,650 Look at that chick. 132 01:02:23,480 --> 01:02:24,620 Take it off. 133 01:02:25,800 --> 01:02:26,800 Take it off. 134 01:02:28,120 --> 01:02:30,880 I can't. 135 01:02:31,340 --> 01:02:32,340 Thank you. 136 01:02:39,160 --> 01:02:46,060 Wait for my 137 01:02:46,060 --> 01:02:47,060 pussycat. 138 01:18:01,040 --> 01:18:03,940 special lecture from yours truly. 139 01:18:04,660 --> 01:18:08,280 Today we'll be talking about, drumroll please, 140 01:18:09,540 --> 01:18:12,100 sexual 141 01:18:12,100 --> 01:18:17,700 harassment. 142 01:18:18,540 --> 01:18:21,200 This is going to be a fun one, you know, more interesting than those 143 01:18:21,200 --> 01:18:25,600 conversations we have about fixing the fax machines or minimizing overhead. 144 01:18:26,700 --> 01:18:29,660 So sexual harassment is bad, blah blah. 145 01:18:29,880 --> 01:18:30,880 Blah, blah, blah. 146 01:18:31,440 --> 01:18:34,440 Now, how about a group activity to ring in the point? Any volunteers? 147 01:18:37,920 --> 01:18:39,980 First, Michelle the genius. 148 01:18:40,400 --> 01:18:41,980 Let's just say we're cut from the same cloth. 149 01:18:42,260 --> 01:18:44,460 If she asked me to, I would die for her. 150 01:18:44,760 --> 01:18:46,180 Method, samurai sword. 151 01:18:46,540 --> 01:18:48,300 Or a herd of rabid bears. 152 01:18:48,840 --> 01:18:52,680 I already have my volunteers. It was a figure of speech, please. 153 01:18:53,380 --> 01:19:00,260 So without further ado, employees. of Dinder and 154 01:19:00,260 --> 01:19:05,000 Muffin, I present to you from Cindy's Tulip Lounge, Candy. 155 01:19:16,840 --> 01:19:17,840 Yeah, 156 01:19:20,040 --> 01:19:23,680 you go, Kevin. 157 01:19:34,350 --> 01:19:35,950 Now that's definitely sexual harassment. 10682