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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:16,542 --> 00:00:18,833 Well, we all know why we're here. 2 00:00:19,042 --> 00:00:20,000 Do we? 3 00:00:20,125 --> 00:00:20,917 Don't we? 4 00:00:20,958 --> 00:00:22,250 -I don't. -Do you? 5 00:00:22,292 --> 00:00:23,500 Well, I'm here to... 6 00:00:23,542 --> 00:00:26,000 No - why he's here... 7 00:00:26,208 --> 00:00:27,167 Okay, gentlemen. 8 00:00:27,708 --> 00:00:28,875 Some clarification. 9 00:00:29,167 --> 00:00:31,958 We're all here to discuss your late grandmother, 10 00:00:32,083 --> 00:00:34,625 Dorothy Pamela Elizabeth Woodley's 11 00:00:35,042 --> 00:00:36,000 estate. 12 00:00:36,083 --> 00:00:38,750 Right, okay, so, again... 13 00:00:39,250 --> 00:00:40,250 Why is he here? 14 00:00:40,750 --> 00:00:43,833 Well, a month ago, Mrs Woodley 15 00:00:43,875 --> 00:00:45,625 updated her final wishes. 16 00:00:47,625 --> 00:00:48,667 Does my dad know about this? 17 00:00:48,708 --> 00:00:50,208 Yes, your father's been informed, 18 00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:51,958 but as you know, he doesn't live in the country. 19 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:54,667 -Yes, I'm actually well aware. -And hasn't for ten years. 20 00:00:54,792 --> 00:00:55,875 Oh, we're keeping a tally. 21 00:00:56,000 --> 00:01:00,458 So, I am the sole executor of your grandmother's will. 22 00:01:00,792 --> 00:01:02,958 Right, I understand all that, but... 23 00:01:03,833 --> 00:01:04,792 updating it... 24 00:01:05,167 --> 00:01:06,000 now... 25 00:01:06,208 --> 00:01:07,125 all of a sudden... 26 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:10,000 Bit suspish, no? 27 00:01:10,167 --> 00:01:11,000 I mean... 28 00:01:11,042 --> 00:01:12,750 she was obviously losing her marbles. 29 00:01:12,792 --> 00:01:15,708 I can assure you that Mrs Woodley's marbles 30 00:01:15,750 --> 00:01:17,292 were very much intact. 31 00:01:17,375 --> 00:01:18,708 Excuse me, Mr Dickie. 32 00:01:18,833 --> 00:01:19,708 Just Dickie. 33 00:01:20,125 --> 00:01:21,375 Sorry, Dickie... 34 00:01:22,250 --> 00:01:23,125 I'm just... 35 00:01:25,042 --> 00:01:26,042 Was just a friend. 36 00:01:27,292 --> 00:01:29,042 I don't...I'm not here to... 37 00:01:29,083 --> 00:01:30,667 Oh, come on, do you really expect us to believe 38 00:01:30,708 --> 00:01:31,875 that you're... -Gentlemen! 39 00:01:31,917 --> 00:01:32,792 Please... 40 00:01:33,083 --> 00:01:35,625 Out of respect for your grandmother, 41 00:01:35,667 --> 00:01:37,167 I suggest that you listen... 42 00:01:38,375 --> 00:01:39,417 very carefully. 43 00:01:42,417 --> 00:01:45,208 “I devise and bequeath my property, 44 00:01:45,500 --> 00:01:48,750 both real and personal and wherever situated 45 00:01:49,208 --> 00:01:50,375 as follows..." 46 00:01:51,792 --> 00:01:55,333 'A FRIEND OF DOROTHY' 47 00:01:57,167 --> 00:01:59,833 -Say it, Tom. -I'm also in love with Philip. 48 00:01:59,875 --> 00:02:01,625 -Philip? -Yes, Philip. 49 00:02:01,792 --> 00:02:02,625 Who's Philip? 50 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:04,167 Philip, the milkman. 51 00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:06,958 I'm so sorry, Jessica. 52 00:02:31,833 --> 00:02:34,167 Oh, for fuck's sake. 53 00:02:35,583 --> 00:02:36,750 I'm coming! 54 00:02:36,792 --> 00:02:37,917 I'm coming! 55 00:02:39,375 --> 00:02:40,667 -Yes? -Sorry to bother you, 56 00:02:40,708 --> 00:02:42,708 my football went into your garden, I think. 57 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:43,875 You think? 58 00:02:44,458 --> 00:02:45,458 Or it did? 59 00:02:45,917 --> 00:02:47,542 I think it did. 60 00:02:47,750 --> 00:02:49,375 It either did, or it didn't. 61 00:02:49,417 --> 00:02:52,792 It sort of went in on an angle, so it could've gone next door. 62 00:02:54,083 --> 00:02:54,917 I see. 63 00:02:55,458 --> 00:02:58,000 And who's to blame for this lousy shot? 64 00:02:59,250 --> 00:03:00,167 That would be me. 65 00:03:03,667 --> 00:03:05,792 Could you open a tin of prunes 66 00:03:05,833 --> 00:03:07,833 better than you can kick a ball? 67 00:03:09,917 --> 00:03:11,333 Well, you'd better come in. 68 00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:14,250 You'll have to ignore the mess, I'm afraid. 69 00:03:14,292 --> 00:03:17,792 Cleaning is not how one intends to spend one's final days. 70 00:03:17,833 --> 00:03:20,125 Oh, I'm so sorry. 71 00:03:20,625 --> 00:03:21,500 For what? 72 00:03:21,792 --> 00:03:22,667 That you're... 73 00:03:23,250 --> 00:03:24,458 Oh, I'm not dying. 74 00:03:25,042 --> 00:03:26,583 Well, not just yet. 75 00:03:26,875 --> 00:03:30,500 Though, at 87, I suspect it won't be too long. 76 00:03:32,167 --> 00:03:33,292 I suppose at your age, 77 00:03:33,750 --> 00:03:35,500 you don't really think about it. 78 00:03:35,875 --> 00:03:39,500 Well, I don't particularly think about death much. 79 00:03:39,958 --> 00:03:42,667 It's the getting there that's tedious. 80 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:43,917 Go through. 81 00:03:44,083 --> 00:03:48,042 And the thought of having some stranger have to wipe your... 82 00:03:50,417 --> 00:03:53,042 Good grief, is it that time already? 83 00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:02,000 I must have these every day, 84 00:04:02,458 --> 00:04:06,417 otherwise, my bowels go into a complete standstill. 85 00:04:12,292 --> 00:04:14,000 Oh, my! 86 00:04:14,792 --> 00:04:16,042 You're a dream. 87 00:04:16,167 --> 00:04:17,333 I mean, really. 88 00:04:18,125 --> 00:04:20,292 Muscles of steel, look at you. 89 00:04:21,417 --> 00:04:22,625 Thank you, uh... 90 00:04:23,500 --> 00:04:24,333 JJ. 91 00:04:25,208 --> 00:04:26,167 JJ... 92 00:04:27,125 --> 00:04:29,542 So handsome they named you twice. 93 00:04:31,542 --> 00:04:33,042 I must get that key... 94 00:04:33,875 --> 00:04:35,833 I rarely use it these days. 95 00:04:36,167 --> 00:04:39,792 Honestly, I don't remember the last time I went into my garden. 96 00:04:40,792 --> 00:04:42,333 Good job, really, 97 00:04:42,917 --> 00:04:46,625 if random balls keep coming through my back door. 98 00:05:01,958 --> 00:05:04,167 Goodness, it is overgrown here. 99 00:05:21,500 --> 00:05:24,042 You know, I haven't been out here for ages. 100 00:05:27,542 --> 00:05:29,375 The birds, do you hear them? 101 00:05:30,125 --> 00:05:31,167 So lovely. 102 00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:35,833 Good grief, is it March already? 103 00:05:39,083 --> 00:05:42,708 Must get some bird seed, they really do need feeding. 104 00:05:44,875 --> 00:05:46,625 It's mating season, you see. 105 00:05:46,833 --> 00:05:48,583 So they're all just bonking. 106 00:05:50,750 --> 00:05:51,667 The birds. 107 00:05:52,333 --> 00:05:53,625 That's all they do. 108 00:05:53,792 --> 00:05:54,625 Bonk. 109 00:05:55,208 --> 00:05:59,417 They've turned my loft into a knocking shop. 110 00:06:01,042 --> 00:06:02,042 I, I should go. 111 00:06:02,458 --> 00:06:04,417 But I've only just put the kettle on. 112 00:06:07,208 --> 00:06:08,042 Oh... 113 00:06:08,417 --> 00:06:09,375 Sorry. 114 00:06:20,625 --> 00:06:22,542 One should never apologise 115 00:06:23,250 --> 00:06:24,833 for an interest in literature. 116 00:06:26,917 --> 00:06:29,542 I've been collecting plays for... 117 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:32,167 goodness, well over 50 years. 118 00:06:32,750 --> 00:06:37,042 My late husband and I always supported the arts, you see. 119 00:06:38,208 --> 00:06:40,625 Donating to various theatres. 120 00:06:41,500 --> 00:06:44,958 Helping young actors through RADA. 121 00:06:46,333 --> 00:06:47,333 RADA? 122 00:06:47,625 --> 00:06:48,792 The Royal Academy. 123 00:06:49,375 --> 00:06:50,417 Drama school. 124 00:06:51,208 --> 00:06:53,375 The very best there is, actually. 125 00:06:55,500 --> 00:06:56,667 I do drama at school. 126 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,583 Oh, a budding actor. 127 00:06:58,792 --> 00:07:00,667 Oh, no, no, no, it's... 128 00:07:01,750 --> 00:07:03,417 just a, uh... -A what? 129 00:07:04,292 --> 00:07:05,125 A hobby. 130 00:07:05,167 --> 00:07:06,042 A hobby? 131 00:07:06,875 --> 00:07:11,000 Knitting's a hobby, or being a life model. 132 00:07:11,958 --> 00:07:14,125 Oh, although I don't know why anybody would want 133 00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:16,042 to have their fanny drawn. 134 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,208 But...treading the boards... 135 00:07:21,042 --> 00:07:23,708 It's not something I think about as a... 136 00:07:24,500 --> 00:07:25,333 you know... 137 00:07:25,875 --> 00:07:26,708 career. 138 00:07:27,625 --> 00:07:29,792 My, my parents want me to be a footballer. 139 00:07:29,833 --> 00:07:30,667 A footballer? 140 00:07:30,917 --> 00:07:31,750 Like my brother. 141 00:07:32,500 --> 00:07:33,792 The fact that your ball 142 00:07:33,833 --> 00:07:36,833 is currently nestling in my wisteria 143 00:07:36,875 --> 00:07:38,208 doesn't bode well. 144 00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:39,958 I mean, really? 145 00:07:45,250 --> 00:07:47,042 Read something for me. 146 00:07:49,792 --> 00:07:51,042 -Really? -Please. 147 00:07:51,083 --> 00:07:52,125 Anything. 148 00:07:52,417 --> 00:07:54,458 That black book, in the middle. 149 00:07:56,792 --> 00:07:57,667 Fetch it. 150 00:08:04,792 --> 00:08:05,625 What's it about? 151 00:08:08,208 --> 00:08:10,417 It follows a group of young men, 152 00:08:11,167 --> 00:08:12,958 in New York, in the 80s, 153 00:08:13,917 --> 00:08:16,125 during that terrible pandemic. 154 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:19,292 All 'friends of Dorothy'. 155 00:08:20,042 --> 00:08:21,708 Who's Dorothy? 156 00:08:21,750 --> 00:08:23,958 Dorothy, from The Wizard of Oz. 157 00:08:24,917 --> 00:08:27,083 Played by Judy Garland. 158 00:08:29,833 --> 00:08:31,917 You've heard of Judy Garland? 159 00:08:34,125 --> 00:08:35,292 Blimey O'Reilly. 160 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,792 Oh, okay, well... 161 00:08:39,958 --> 00:08:43,708 In the film, Dorothy has a group of friends, male friends. 162 00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:45,833 They're all... 163 00:08:46,833 --> 00:08:47,667 a bit... 164 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:50,042 different. 165 00:08:52,375 --> 00:08:53,375 Right... 166 00:08:54,625 --> 00:08:55,792 Try it from there. 167 00:09:04,042 --> 00:09:04,875 Well, go on. 168 00:09:08,542 --> 00:09:09,417 Finally... 169 00:09:11,917 --> 00:09:13,792 after years of fighting against it... 170 00:09:15,958 --> 00:09:17,458 after a lifetime of shame... 171 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:24,375 to hold you in my arms... 172 00:09:28,167 --> 00:09:29,708 delighting in his body... 173 00:09:32,917 --> 00:09:33,750 in your smell... 174 00:09:35,125 --> 00:09:35,958 in my skin... 175 00:09:38,292 --> 00:09:39,417 in your warm breath... 176 00:09:40,583 --> 00:09:41,458 on my shoulder. 177 00:09:46,125 --> 00:09:46,958 I love you, 178 00:09:48,250 --> 00:09:49,250 Henry. 179 00:09:52,333 --> 00:09:57,000 And to know the peace that comes from finally telling the truth... 180 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:00,000 about yourself... 181 00:10:05,750 --> 00:10:06,708 about your heart. 182 00:10:10,792 --> 00:10:12,000 Fucking hell. 183 00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:17,417 I've got to go. 184 00:10:20,875 --> 00:10:22,125 Wait a minute! 185 00:10:24,292 --> 00:10:25,125 Wait! 186 00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:28,375 Maybe there's a play you'd like to borrow? 187 00:10:32,375 --> 00:10:33,208 Good. 188 00:10:34,375 --> 00:10:35,500 It's in your bag. 189 00:10:37,167 --> 00:10:40,208 See you same time tomorrow for pruning? 190 00:10:44,417 --> 00:10:45,583 I didn't get your name. 191 00:10:53,500 --> 00:10:54,375 It's Dorothy. 192 00:11:13,875 --> 00:11:14,917 She'd come again, 193 00:11:15,125 --> 00:11:16,292 and with a greedy ear, 194 00:11:16,667 --> 00:11:17,875 devour up my discourse. 195 00:11:22,458 --> 00:11:23,708 ...'twas passing strange, 196 00:11:24,583 --> 00:11:25,458 'twas pitiful. 197 00:13:19,750 --> 00:13:20,875 We're not interested. 198 00:13:21,042 --> 00:13:22,875 Is that you, JJ? 199 00:13:29,583 --> 00:13:31,417 I was just dusting my books. 200 00:13:31,500 --> 00:13:33,167 You need a cleaner, Dozza. 201 00:13:33,292 --> 00:13:35,292 I keep telling you. -I don't want somebody 202 00:13:35,333 --> 00:13:37,833 rummaging around my unmentionables. 203 00:13:38,708 --> 00:13:40,792 This is Scott, my grandson. 204 00:13:40,875 --> 00:13:42,958 So, you're a friend of Dorothy? 205 00:13:45,917 --> 00:13:47,958 JJ's a gift from the gods. 206 00:13:48,292 --> 00:13:50,250 He's been a huge help to me. 207 00:13:50,333 --> 00:13:52,375 -Oh yeah? -He wants to be an actor. 208 00:13:52,625 --> 00:13:53,875 I bet he does. 209 00:13:55,792 --> 00:13:57,792 So, you, uh, come round here often? 210 00:13:58,000 --> 00:13:58,958 Every day. 211 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:00,042 Every day! 212 00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:01,333 Wow! 213 00:14:01,625 --> 00:14:02,625 Besties, then. 214 00:14:02,667 --> 00:14:04,917 More than I can say about you and your father. 215 00:14:05,042 --> 00:14:07,042 And uh, you have actual friends? 216 00:14:07,833 --> 00:14:09,000 -What? -You know. 217 00:14:09,667 --> 00:14:10,625 Friends your own age. 218 00:14:10,667 --> 00:14:13,208 What's age got to do with the price of squid? 219 00:14:13,250 --> 00:14:14,292 It's fish. 220 00:14:14,333 --> 00:14:15,250 What's fish? 221 00:14:15,292 --> 00:14:16,208 You said 'squid'. 222 00:14:17,167 --> 00:14:18,125 Who gives a... 223 00:14:21,208 --> 00:14:22,125 Yep. 224 00:14:22,458 --> 00:14:23,667 Fuck me up the bum! 225 00:14:23,708 --> 00:14:24,792 You're actually joking. 226 00:14:24,833 --> 00:14:26,083 Oh, you're not, actually? 227 00:14:26,583 --> 00:14:29,042 Uh, yeah, I'm literally on my actual way. 228 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,542 -Good news? -I've got to run. 229 00:14:33,125 --> 00:14:35,625 No more dusting your bloody books. 230 00:14:36,875 --> 00:14:40,583 And uh, think about the place that shall not be nameth. 231 00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:57,458 What place is he talking about? 232 00:14:59,292 --> 00:15:03,125 A place one goes to when one can't wipe one's own arse 233 00:15:03,167 --> 00:15:04,083 anymore. 234 00:15:05,042 --> 00:15:09,417 For your information, I am not at that stage yet. 235 00:15:11,250 --> 00:15:12,083 But... 236 00:15:13,792 --> 00:15:18,750 you see, JJ, when one gets to my age, 237 00:15:19,750 --> 00:15:23,542 one becomes a...a burden, of sorts. 238 00:15:24,708 --> 00:15:28,792 People don't realise you still have a soul 239 00:15:29,708 --> 00:15:31,708 that needs to be nourished. 240 00:15:32,750 --> 00:15:34,458 I don't mind being alone. 241 00:15:35,708 --> 00:15:38,708 But I do need company, 242 00:15:39,833 --> 00:15:41,417 and companionship. 243 00:15:42,250 --> 00:15:46,042 Most people my age die alone, undiscovered, 244 00:15:47,083 --> 00:15:49,375 for weeks, months even. 245 00:15:52,333 --> 00:15:55,000 My neighbour, Ian, was found naked, 246 00:15:55,042 --> 00:15:58,542 face down in a bowl of alphabetti spaghetti. 247 00:16:00,333 --> 00:16:01,292 Why was he naked? 248 00:16:02,333 --> 00:16:04,083 I don't really know! 249 00:16:04,583 --> 00:16:07,208 Um, that's neither here nor there. 250 00:16:08,083 --> 00:16:11,333 The point is that after my husband died, 251 00:16:12,583 --> 00:16:16,375 my son moved to the other side of the world 252 00:16:16,917 --> 00:16:18,000 to live his life. 253 00:16:20,625 --> 00:16:23,083 And sadly, through the years, 254 00:16:25,833 --> 00:16:26,958 he made... 255 00:16:28,208 --> 00:16:30,458 no space for me in it. 256 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:34,750 He no longer knows who I truly am. 257 00:16:36,375 --> 00:16:37,583 Maybe he never did. 258 00:16:39,042 --> 00:16:40,167 So, he sends... 259 00:16:41,792 --> 00:16:44,000 dear Scott to fill in the gaps. 260 00:16:46,958 --> 00:16:49,125 I'm nearly 87, JJ, 261 00:16:49,833 --> 00:16:51,292 and having you here, 262 00:16:52,417 --> 00:16:55,792 helping me with my daily comings and goings, 263 00:16:55,833 --> 00:16:59,042 and I don't just mean my bowels. 264 00:17:02,833 --> 00:17:05,292 No one could possibly imagine 265 00:17:06,417 --> 00:17:08,208 what it means to someone like me. 266 00:17:14,083 --> 00:17:14,917 My... 267 00:17:17,583 --> 00:17:18,875 my body... 268 00:17:20,375 --> 00:17:21,667 ...is failing me. 269 00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:23,833 But my mind... 270 00:17:29,250 --> 00:17:30,208 You've... 271 00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:31,583 made it... 272 00:17:32,417 --> 00:17:33,458 live again. 273 00:17:35,667 --> 00:17:37,833 You see me. 274 00:17:42,250 --> 00:17:43,083 Yes. 275 00:17:44,083 --> 00:17:44,917 That's it. 276 00:17:46,417 --> 00:17:50,250 Perhaps you are the first person... 277 00:17:52,750 --> 00:17:53,667 ever... 278 00:17:56,375 --> 00:17:57,208 truly... 279 00:17:59,333 --> 00:18:00,500 to see me. 280 00:18:05,958 --> 00:18:07,042 And you see me. 281 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:27,708 "To my son, Peter Woodley, I give my residential home 282 00:18:27,750 --> 00:18:30,958 at 1 Martlett Avenue, absolutely. 283 00:18:32,167 --> 00:18:35,083 To my grandson, Scott Woodley, 284 00:18:35,583 --> 00:18:38,542 I give the sum of £50,000." 285 00:18:38,583 --> 00:18:40,292 Oh, thank Christ for that. 286 00:18:40,333 --> 00:18:42,625 Bloody hell, you actually had me worried there. 287 00:18:43,167 --> 00:18:44,042 God. 288 00:18:44,667 --> 00:18:45,542 Well, go on. 289 00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:47,167 What's he nabbed, then? 290 00:18:48,333 --> 00:18:50,083 "To JJ Bello, 291 00:18:50,500 --> 00:18:53,917 I give my entire play collection, 292 00:18:53,958 --> 00:18:55,583 most importantly, 293 00:18:55,625 --> 00:18:59,167 my copy of The Inheritance 294 00:18:59,583 --> 00:19:01,042 by Matthew Lopez. 295 00:19:01,375 --> 00:19:06,250 Oh, for God's sake, all this bloody fuss over some dusty old books. 296 00:19:06,875 --> 00:19:09,500 Typical Dozza, always bringing the theatrics, eh? 297 00:19:10,292 --> 00:19:13,458 Right? Well, if there's nothing else, I've got to skedaddle. 298 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:16,000 Nice doing business with you both. 299 00:19:18,875 --> 00:19:22,000 Well, obviously not actual business, but, 300 00:19:22,875 --> 00:19:23,750 you know... 301 00:19:30,583 --> 00:19:31,458 Thank you. 302 00:19:31,833 --> 00:19:34,417 Oh, JJ, Dorothy left a note 303 00:19:34,458 --> 00:19:39,250 saying you might need to revisit Act 2, Scene 1. 304 00:19:40,083 --> 00:19:41,083 Whatever that means. 305 00:19:58,708 --> 00:20:00,250 'MAKE IT MORE THAN A HOBBY!' 306 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,167 'FIFTY THOUSAND POUNDS ONLY' 19810

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