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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,878
[? theme song playing]
2
00:00:03,962 --> 00:00:06,715
? Good morning, USA ?
3
00:00:06,798 --> 00:00:10,302
? I got a feeling that it's gonna be
a wonderful day ?
4
00:00:10,385 --> 00:00:13,305
? The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ?
5
00:00:13,388 --> 00:00:14,640
? And he's- ?
6
00:00:14,641 --> 00:00:16,933
What the hell?
Where's the boy and the lady?
7
00:00:16,934 --> 00:00:18,977
Steve's sick.
8
00:00:20,938 --> 00:00:24,608
I'm gonna give
Snugglepuss all my hugs
9
00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:27,986
so you can have them
with you all day long.
10
00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:30,072
[moans]
11
00:00:30,948 --> 00:00:33,283
Now let's get you
all tucked in.
12
00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:35,537
[both] Tuck, tuck, tuck,
tuck, tuck, tuck...
13
00:00:35,619 --> 00:00:38,455
What in the name of
Jesus Jones is going on here?
14
00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:40,666
Caught myself
a nasty little cold.
15
00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:42,918
And you know that
when Steve is sick
16
00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:45,337
is the only time
I ever baby him.
17
00:00:45,420 --> 00:00:47,506
So I go hard.
18
00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:51,176
Mama, can I have
one more ginger ale?
19
00:00:51,260 --> 00:00:55,639
Yes. My widdle baby boy
can have one more gingew-wale.
20
00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:59,142
I can't believe you're staying home
from school for a cold.
21
00:00:59,143 --> 00:01:00,726
You know what I do
when I get sick?
22
00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:02,437
-Power through.
-Power through.
23
00:01:02,521 --> 00:01:05,857
Name an illness. Botulism,
Legionnaire's disease, herpes,
24
00:01:05,858 --> 00:01:07,316
I've powered through them all.
25
00:01:07,317 --> 00:01:08,818
-Wait. You have herpes?
-Sure.
26
00:01:08,819 --> 00:01:11,989
Pop some echinacea, a whole box of
non-drowsy cold meds,
27
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:14,658
whatever you gotta do,
but never bend the knee.
28
00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:15,909
Because that makes you...
29
00:01:15,993 --> 00:01:18,287
And you know I don't
like this word, Steve.
30
00:01:18,370 --> 00:01:19,955
A coldcuck.
31
00:01:20,038 --> 00:01:23,125
Everyone gets sick and has
to stay home sometimes.
32
00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:25,544
Not me. Never taken
a sick day in my life.
33
00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:27,737
Don't have that luxury
working at the CIA.
34
00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:29,744
That place would
fall apart without me.
35
00:01:30,007 --> 00:01:32,657
And look how late you coldcucks
have made me already.
36
00:01:33,969 --> 00:01:35,019
Hey!
37
00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:38,807
[moaning]
38
00:01:38,846 --> 00:01:43,686
Jeff, one other thing
Francine does every morning
39
00:01:43,687 --> 00:01:45,146
that a lot of people
don't realize
40
00:01:45,147 --> 00:01:47,064
is she clicks
the garage door open for me
41
00:01:47,065 --> 00:01:48,399
after I go out the front door.
42
00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:49,818
There's a clicker inside?
43
00:01:49,819 --> 00:01:51,902
There must be. So you're
just gonna stand there
44
00:01:51,903 --> 00:01:53,529
looking surprisingly hot
in that dress
45
00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:55,072
or you're gonna
help me look for it?
46
00:01:55,073 --> 00:01:57,033
You could have let me
do my key kick, Stan.
47
00:01:57,034 --> 00:01:59,244
I missed
a breakfast meeting for this.
48
00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:02,622
I'll show you a coldcuck.
49
00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:05,250
[sneezes]
50
00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:08,135
[blows nose]
51
00:02:09,671 --> 00:02:12,007
Why don't you
power through this?
52
00:02:14,926 --> 00:02:17,804
Not bad. But can you do this?
53
00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:21,016
[gags]
54
00:02:21,892 --> 00:02:23,977
That's, uh...
55
00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:26,104
That's really great, Roger.
56
00:02:26,188 --> 00:02:27,481
I'll see you later.
57
00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:31,234
[Roger, muffled]
Steve, come back! I'm stuck.
58
00:02:33,236 --> 00:02:35,656
? Good morning, USA ?
59
00:02:37,892 --> 00:02:40,910
You're certainly keeping busy.
60
00:02:40,911 --> 00:02:42,579
Hey, it's crunch time,
Jackson.
61
00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:43,789
All hands on deck.
62
00:02:44,289 --> 00:02:47,751
Hey, Stan, can you clear a paper jam
in the copy machine for me?
63
00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:50,420
I am the paper jam expert.
64
00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:51,922
[grunting]
65
00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:56,175
Ah, well, dirty little secret
66
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:57,226
about paper jams is
67
00:02:57,227 --> 00:02:58,386
they never get cleared
68
00:02:58,387 --> 00:03:00,017
till you get
a whole new machine.
69
00:03:04,101 --> 00:03:05,151
[gulps]
70
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:08,230
Something about
this sandwich...
71
00:03:08,313 --> 00:03:10,023
tastes amazing.
72
00:03:10,107 --> 00:03:11,157
Francine, baby,
73
00:03:11,233 --> 00:03:12,317
you've done it again.
74
00:03:16,113 --> 00:03:18,448
[whistling]
75
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:19,866
Why are you so happy?
76
00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,826
Didn't I hear you had
the clap or something?
77
00:03:21,827 --> 00:03:24,246
A cold. And not even that
for long.
78
00:03:24,329 --> 00:03:26,456
Because I am
officially on the...
79
00:03:26,457 --> 00:03:28,082
[imitating Johnny Carson]
Up-shwing.
80
00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:29,917
-The hell was that?
-Johnny Carson?
81
00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:32,337
I guess he did a golf swing
or something. I've...
82
00:03:32,421 --> 00:03:34,172
I've seen it referenced.
Anyway...
83
00:03:34,256 --> 00:03:37,843
How are you feeling
this fine morning, Dad?
84
00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:40,345
I seem to have caught
that cold of yours, Steve.
85
00:03:40,429 --> 00:03:42,931
Mm. Oh, nyo.
86
00:03:43,014 --> 00:03:45,016
I'm syew syorry.
87
00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:48,520
So I guess you'll have to stay
home and rest now, huh?
88
00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:50,147
Hah! Quite the opposite.
89
00:03:50,148 --> 00:03:52,356
I might work late,
run some errands after,
90
00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:55,152
maybe squeeze in a workout
down at Muscle Beach.
91
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,279
-That's right. It's time...
-[groans]
92
00:03:57,362 --> 00:03:58,864
...to power through.
93
00:03:58,947 --> 00:04:00,282
? Power through ?
94
00:04:03,827 --> 00:04:04,995
? Power through ?
95
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:07,248
Gee, Stan, shouldn't you
go home and rest?
96
00:04:07,289 --> 00:04:10,584
And leave you guys high and
dry during crunch time?
97
00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:13,462
[coughing]
98
00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:16,631
-You okay, Stan?
-Powering through.
99
00:04:16,715 --> 00:04:19,092
? Power that big ass through ?
100
00:04:20,635 --> 00:04:22,971
Stan! Stan! Stan! Stan!
101
00:04:23,054 --> 00:04:25,724
No spot, no freaking spot.
Get the hell away, bro.
102
00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:30,479
? Crypto ?
103
00:04:30,562 --> 00:04:32,147
? Currency ?
104
00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:38,111
Power through.
105
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,160
I'm not quite
feeling better yet.
106
00:04:45,243 --> 00:04:46,912
A hundred and three.
107
00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:48,045
Stan, please.
108
00:04:48,079 --> 00:04:50,040
You really need
to stay home today.
109
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,750
Mm. Yeah. But then again,
110
00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:55,629
wouldn't that make him
a coldcuck?
111
00:04:55,712 --> 00:04:57,297
-Steve!
-No, Francine.
112
00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:58,882
The boy is right to taunt me.
113
00:04:58,883 --> 00:05:01,592
I can't lose sight of
the most important thing of all.
114
00:05:01,593 --> 00:05:03,637
The importance
of powering through.
115
00:05:03,638 --> 00:05:06,430
But I'll need something stronger
than vitamin C for this one.
116
00:05:06,431 --> 00:05:09,518
And I think I know
just who to talk to.
117
00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:11,861
Who?
118
00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:13,271
[both grunting]
119
00:05:13,355 --> 00:05:15,273
[straining] Get in there.
120
00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:17,734
Weitzman. Dr. Dubs.
What up, my brotha?
121
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:20,070
Listen, I need to
tear this cold a new one.
122
00:05:20,071 --> 00:05:21,862
Why don't you just
go home and rest?
123
00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:22,948
[scoffs] Dream on.
124
00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:25,534
They just need me too much
upstairs. Crunch time.
125
00:05:25,535 --> 00:05:27,535
But you gotta have
some kind of top secret
126
00:05:27,536 --> 00:05:30,120
super immune booster or
something around here, right?
127
00:05:30,121 --> 00:05:32,040
Well, yes,
but I'm also cooking up
128
00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:35,710
some extremely dangerous
experimental pathogens here.
129
00:05:35,711 --> 00:05:37,419
You should really
put on one of these.
130
00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:39,297
Oh, strap on a chin diaper?
131
00:05:39,381 --> 00:05:41,800
No, thanks. Go woke, go broke.
132
00:05:41,801 --> 00:05:44,718
How about you just make with
that immune booster already?
133
00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:46,263
[grunts]
134
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:47,430
Oh, God.
135
00:05:48,265 --> 00:05:49,599
[grunts]
136
00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:54,980
Maybe you better take two.
137
00:05:57,566 --> 00:05:59,234
[groans softly]
138
00:05:59,734 --> 00:06:01,570
You're feeling better
today, hon?
139
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:03,822
[wheezes]
140
00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:06,366
[screams]
141
00:06:10,701 --> 00:06:13,581
[? pop music playing
on stereo]
142
00:06:13,582 --> 00:06:15,750
? You take a bat
and a pangolin ?
143
00:06:15,834 --> 00:06:17,419
? And mix 'em both together ?
144
00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:19,170
? Let the bat
bite the pangolin ?
145
00:06:19,254 --> 00:06:20,714
? He doesn't feel better ?
146
00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:22,674
? Take the bat
and the pangolin ?
147
00:06:22,757 --> 00:06:24,259
? And shake 'em both up ?
148
00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:26,272
? And when you jab
that same pangolin ?
149
00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:28,096
? You've made
a deadly super bug ?
150
00:06:28,179 --> 00:06:29,598
? I said, "Doctor..." ?
151
00:06:29,681 --> 00:06:31,141
Weitzman.
152
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,476
? I said, "Doctor..." ?
153
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:34,610
Weitzman.
154
00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:35,724
[cell phone ringing]
155
00:06:35,725 --> 00:06:37,062
Ooh, maybe
it's a telemarketer.
156
00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:39,524
[gasps]
A beautiful telemarketer?
157
00:06:39,525 --> 00:06:42,401
Whatever you're selling,
I'll buy it!
158
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:45,363
Weitzman, what the hell
did you do to my husband?
159
00:06:45,447 --> 00:06:48,408
He's practically
on his deathbed here,
160
00:06:48,491 --> 00:06:51,369
right after seeing you
in your lair.
161
00:06:51,453 --> 00:06:53,622
It's a lab, not a lair.
162
00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:55,832
Whatever. He said you gave him
163
00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:58,877
some kind of
experimental super drug.
164
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:02,380
I did. But, apparently,
it wasn't strong enough to protect him
165
00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:04,758
from the experimental
super viruses
166
00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:06,926
he exposed himself to
in my lair.
167
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,636
Oh, great.
Now you got me saying it.
168
00:07:08,637 --> 00:07:09,971
Super virus?
169
00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:12,849
Now, don't worry. So far,
none of the diseases I've made
170
00:07:12,932 --> 00:07:15,702
have been able to be transmitted
from person to person.
171
00:07:15,727 --> 00:07:16,895
To my great shame.
172
00:07:16,978 --> 00:07:18,438
What about Stan, though?
173
00:07:18,439 --> 00:07:20,230
-What's his prognosis?
-[wheezes]
174
00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:21,691
I'm afraid that...
175
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,109
I don't know that word.
176
00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:25,862
But Stan can expect
to experience brittle bones,
177
00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:29,407
parasites, incontinence,
and baby-level weakness.
178
00:07:29,408 --> 00:07:31,241
So he might want
to take it kind of easy.
179
00:07:31,242 --> 00:07:33,078
-[phone beeps]
-[wheezes]
180
00:07:33,161 --> 00:07:36,247
Stan, honey,
you're very, very sick.
181
00:07:36,331 --> 00:07:39,417
I'll call Bullock and let him know
you won't be coming in.
182
00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:40,835
No.
183
00:07:40,919 --> 00:07:43,171
Start the music.
184
00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:45,256
[? theme song playing]
185
00:07:46,049 --> 00:07:47,967
-[bones crack]
-[screams raspily]
186
00:07:48,718 --> 00:07:50,887
[grunts]
187
00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:54,683
[raspily]
? The sun in the sky ?
188
00:07:54,766 --> 00:07:56,017
? Smiling... ?
189
00:07:56,601 --> 00:07:58,436
? Saloons... ?
190
00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:08,822
Holy crap. I gotta
get out of here.
191
00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:10,782
[tires screech]
192
00:08:10,865 --> 00:08:13,034
? Good morning, USA ?
193
00:08:13,118 --> 00:08:14,285
[Roger] Hey, bullseye.
194
00:08:14,491 --> 00:08:19,581
Gee, Stan, you sure
you shouldn't be home resting?
195
00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:21,751
Can't let the team down.
196
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:24,003
Gotta power through.
197
00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:29,426
Uh-oh.
198
00:08:32,262 --> 00:08:36,683
It took three paramedics
and a senior Xerox technician
199
00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:39,561
to get your father
out of that copy machine.
200
00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:41,187
And this is somehow my fault?
201
00:08:41,271 --> 00:08:42,321
Yes.
202
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:45,525
I know you got your dad sick
on purpose.
203
00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:47,360
Well, he deserved it,
all right?
204
00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:51,114
With all his stupid, macho,
powering through BS.
205
00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:54,367
Listen, right now,
all you need to worry about
206
00:08:54,451 --> 00:08:58,413
is making sure your dad does
whatever he has to to get better.
207
00:08:58,496 --> 00:09:01,541
Or you're gonna need
a doctor yourself. Capisce?
208
00:09:01,624 --> 00:09:05,128
But I'm your
widdle baby boy, wemember?
209
00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:07,255
That's only when you're sick.
210
00:09:07,338 --> 00:09:10,383
So either catch a cold
or go to hell.
211
00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:15,013
[cracking]
212
00:09:15,096 --> 00:09:16,264
[doctor] Hmm.
213
00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:17,974
[air hissing]
214
00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:22,062
[doctor] Hmm.
215
00:09:22,063 --> 00:09:25,064
Stan, I'm going to list
a series of four numbers,
216
00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:27,858
and after I finish, I'd like you to
repeat them back to me.
217
00:09:27,859 --> 00:09:31,738
Sixteen, five,
thirty-seven, ten.
218
00:09:33,698 --> 00:09:34,908
Hmm.
219
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:38,411
It seems your father
has a brand new disease
220
00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:41,498
never before encountered
by medical science.
221
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:44,334
Which means he gets
a gift certificate
222
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:46,503
to Menchie's!
223
00:09:46,504 --> 00:09:48,962
-Congratulations.
-So what's gonna happen to him?
224
00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:50,256
On the one hand...
225
00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:52,926
Well, have you ever heard
of being dead?
226
00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:54,719
-Yes.
-Your father
227
00:09:54,803 --> 00:09:56,846
might suffer
the most horrible,
228
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:59,390
agonizing death imaginable.
229
00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:00,524
But then again,
230
00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:04,437
something really bad
might happen.
231
00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:06,689
Stan might eventually regain
232
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,983
some of his strength
and vitality,
233
00:10:09,067 --> 00:10:11,361
but totally lose his mind.
234
00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:14,364
He'll lose all sense
of who he is,
235
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:15,573
of even being human,
236
00:10:15,657 --> 00:10:20,370
and become a deranged, feral,
blood-thirsty killing machine.
237
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:22,622
Oh, my God! What can we do?
238
00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:23,832
Nothing!
239
00:10:23,915 --> 00:10:24,999
Except rest.
240
00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:27,433
If he just stays in bed
and rests for a few days,
241
00:10:27,502 --> 00:10:28,628
he might get better.
242
00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:32,590
[grunts]
243
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:34,467
All right, Dad.
244
00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:36,594
I'm gonna save your life
if it kills you.
245
00:10:36,678 --> 00:10:40,515
A little extra drowsy NyQuil
ought to get you the rest you need.
246
00:10:40,516 --> 00:10:41,682
-[thuds]
-[Stan grunts]
247
00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:44,185
[weakly] Gotta get to work.
248
00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:47,021
[grunts] Get back here,
you little rascal.
249
00:10:47,105 --> 00:10:49,566
-[grunts]
-Must power through.
250
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:52,485
[Steve grunts]
251
00:10:53,361 --> 00:10:54,411
Ah!
252
00:10:57,115 --> 00:11:00,410
Just gonna go upstairs,
get my briefcase.
253
00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:02,036
[Stan groans]
254
00:11:03,955 --> 00:11:06,833
Now you're gonna take
your medicine, mister.
255
00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:08,835
-[clattering]
-[toilet flushing]
256
00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:12,255
Something's up with the car.
257
00:11:14,299 --> 00:11:15,675
What is it with you?
258
00:11:15,758 --> 00:11:18,094
Why do you refuse to
just stay home and rest?
259
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:19,228
Why?
260
00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:22,473
-Crunch time.
-[screams] Open up!
261
00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:24,642
[inhales deeply]
262
00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:26,102
[gulps]
263
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:28,688
Now, go to sleep!
264
00:11:30,565 --> 00:11:31,691
[snoring]
265
00:11:31,774 --> 00:11:32,859
Finally.
266
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,994
Brother, I have earned this.
267
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:46,331
-[loud thud]
-Dad?
268
00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:47,749
Oh, God, no.
269
00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:49,883
Dad?
270
00:11:49,918 --> 00:11:52,337
[heart thumping]
271
00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:55,965
-[screams]
-[growls]
272
00:11:56,841 --> 00:11:58,134
[roars]
273
00:11:58,927 --> 00:12:00,511
[Steve screams]
274
00:12:00,595 --> 00:12:02,645
Oh, Steve, have you seen
the big remote?
275
00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:04,182
[Stan growls]
276
00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:06,075
Stan, have you seen
the big remote?
277
00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:07,685
[Stan grunts]
278
00:12:09,395 --> 00:12:11,773
[roars]
279
00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:15,860
Doc, what do I do?
280
00:12:15,944 --> 00:12:18,571
My dad turned into a monster
like you said.
281
00:12:18,655 --> 00:12:19,948
Oh, that's interesting.
282
00:12:19,949 --> 00:12:22,032
Uh, but I'm actually
a little busy right now.
283
00:12:22,033 --> 00:12:23,083
[growls]
284
00:12:23,084 --> 00:12:25,285
Looks like your dad's disease
is spreading.
285
00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:26,336
[yells]
286
00:12:26,788 --> 00:12:31,084
Oh, also, there was a problem
with your insurance.
287
00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:32,502
[explosion]
288
00:12:32,503 --> 00:12:35,587
-[alarm blaring]
-[Steve] Uh-oh.
289
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:36,798
[sirens wailing]
290
00:12:36,881 --> 00:12:38,931
[Roger] Don't worry,
I found the remote.
291
00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:42,470
[sirens wailing]
292
00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:44,264
[man screams]
293
00:12:44,347 --> 00:12:46,933
We've got an unforgiving
super-contagion
294
00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:48,268
moving on through here
295
00:12:48,351 --> 00:12:50,770
to the north, east,
west, and south,
296
00:12:50,853 --> 00:12:53,398
transforming everyone
it comes in contact with
297
00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:55,733
into kill-crazy
murder goblins.
298
00:12:55,734 --> 00:12:58,360
So if you're heading out
to enjoy those fall colors,
299
00:12:58,361 --> 00:12:59,862
make sure to pack a machete,
300
00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:02,448
abandon all hope
for the future of humanity,
301
00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:03,741
and bring an umbrella
302
00:13:03,825 --> 00:13:06,655
because we might be seeing
a few sprinkles out there too.
303
00:13:06,656 --> 00:13:08,870
And with that, I'm gonna
throw it back to Greg
304
00:13:08,871 --> 00:13:10,331
and flee in terror from him.
305
00:13:10,332 --> 00:13:11,498
-[growls]
-[screams]
306
00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:13,969
-[panting]
-[cameraman] Wait, Greg. No, no, no!
307
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:15,378
[static]
308
00:13:15,379 --> 00:13:18,463
Looks like that's it
for the power.
309
00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:20,754
I'm just glad we were able
to find a way to both
310
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:24,095
stay safe from your father
and maintain his dignity.
311
00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:25,805
[grunting]
312
00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:28,975
Mr. S is scooting again.
313
00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:30,935
Someone needs
to take him number two.
314
00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:32,895
Ah, dang it.
315
00:13:32,896 --> 00:13:36,273
Be careful, babe. He will pull out your
intestines if he gets the chance.
316
00:13:36,274 --> 00:13:38,233
And there's no way
in or out of the house now,
317
00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:40,464
so have him do his business
in Klaus' alcove.
318
00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:42,739
[grumbles] Yeah.
Just absolutely the worst.
319
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,157
One thing I don't get,
320
00:13:44,158 --> 00:13:45,866
how come none of us
have gotten sick?
321
00:13:45,867 --> 00:13:47,910
Uh... [clears throat]
322
00:13:47,994 --> 00:13:51,664
Family exposed
to Stan original cold
323
00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:54,459
before combine
with Weitzman virus
324
00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:56,127
to make super bug.
325
00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:58,546
Therefore, immune.
326
00:13:58,547 --> 00:14:00,672
-Never thought of that.
-Sounds plausible to me.
327
00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:03,091
Ever since he got that
little lab coat and glasses,
328
00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:05,011
he just seems so smart.
329
00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:08,848
Uh, guys, I think I might have
messed something up here.
330
00:14:10,058 --> 00:14:12,185
-[roars]
-[all screaming]
331
00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:17,148
[all panting]
332
00:14:18,608 --> 00:14:22,028
What are we gonna do?
We're trapped in here. We'll starve.
333
00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:24,405
No. Look, there's still
some crackers left
334
00:14:24,489 --> 00:14:25,698
from when Steve was sick.
335
00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:28,785
But we'll need to ration them, though.
Really make 'em last.
336
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:31,829
I have a feeling
we might be here a while.
337
00:14:31,913 --> 00:14:33,831
-[sirens blaring]
-[honking]
338
00:14:33,832 --> 00:14:36,374
I still can't believe
Roger ate all the crackers
339
00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:37,585
right after he said that.
340
00:14:37,668 --> 00:14:39,045
Hey, I said I was sorry.
341
00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:40,963
And it was three days ago now.
342
00:14:41,047 --> 00:14:42,097
[thumping]
343
00:14:42,173 --> 00:14:44,217
-[growling]
-[shushes]
344
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:45,885
[panting, snorting]
345
00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:48,012
-[banging on door]
-I'll get it.
346
00:14:48,096 --> 00:14:49,263
-No, Jeff!
-No!
347
00:14:49,264 --> 00:14:54,059
It's okay. He's down at the end of the
hall now, biting the head off a rat.
348
00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:56,354
We, on the other hand,
have no food, no water,
349
00:14:56,355 --> 00:14:59,189
and we're trapped in here with a monster.
We're all gonna die.
350
00:14:59,190 --> 00:15:00,733
No, Roger. More like this.
351
00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:02,567
[hysterically]
We have no food, no water.
352
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:06,280
We're trapped in here with a monster.
We're all gonna die!
353
00:15:06,364 --> 00:15:07,564
[helicopter hovering]
354
00:15:09,408 --> 00:15:12,703
Do not panic.
I'm here to help.
355
00:15:12,787 --> 00:15:14,539
[screams] Ow!
356
00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:17,083
Why did I wear shorts?
357
00:15:18,835 --> 00:15:20,628
Okay, first things first.
358
00:15:20,711 --> 00:15:22,701
Who'll rub some aloe
on my thigh burns?
359
00:15:24,799 --> 00:15:25,849
What the...
360
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:28,310
I'm human.
361
00:15:28,386 --> 00:15:30,972
So, it looks like
your super bug was
362
00:15:31,055 --> 00:15:32,765
transmissible after all.
363
00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:35,268
I know. Which was
a much needed boost
364
00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:36,401
for my self-esteem.
365
00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:38,896
But listen, since Stan
was patient zero,
366
00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:41,524
if my team
of tactical EMTs here
367
00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:43,734
can just get a sample
of his blood,
368
00:15:43,818 --> 00:15:46,588
we should be able to make a cure from it.
[snaps fingers]
369
00:15:46,589 --> 00:15:49,322
You sure they'll be able
to pull this off?
370
00:15:49,323 --> 00:15:51,117
Do I look nervous?
371
00:15:51,868 --> 00:15:53,411
[Stan growls]
372
00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:55,788
[cameras beeping]
373
00:15:55,789 --> 00:15:57,873
-[growling continues]
-[beeping continues]
374
00:15:57,874 --> 00:15:59,834
Oh, God!
What are we gonna do? I...
375
00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:04,172
Oh, no. I'm going.
376
00:16:04,255 --> 00:16:07,842
[crying]
It's all coming out now.
377
00:16:07,925 --> 00:16:11,179
I can't stop it.
378
00:16:11,846 --> 00:16:13,055
It's up to us now.
379
00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:15,429
Short straw goes out there
to get Dad's blood.
380
00:16:15,474 --> 00:16:17,602
Nah, nope.
Steve, you're going.
381
00:16:17,685 --> 00:16:20,021
This is your mess.
You clean it up.
382
00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:21,522
[sighs] Fine.
383
00:16:21,606 --> 00:16:23,691
-[static]
-What is that?
384
00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:30,281
[Hayley] Looks like he made some
kind of caveman version of his office.
385
00:16:30,364 --> 00:16:31,616
Unbelievable.
386
00:16:31,699 --> 00:16:34,160
He's fully transformed
into a deranged
387
00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:35,620
rat head-eating animal,
388
00:16:35,621 --> 00:16:37,412
and he's still trying
to go to work.
389
00:16:37,413 --> 00:16:39,290
I think he's saying something.
390
00:16:39,373 --> 00:16:40,583
[mouse clicking]
391
00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:41,959
Crunch time.
392
00:16:42,043 --> 00:16:43,127
Stan help!
393
00:16:43,211 --> 00:16:44,837
Stan useful.
394
00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:47,089
The hell
is this jabroni's deal?
395
00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:49,467
[Rogu] Clearly,
job only remnant
396
00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:52,553
of old human self
Stan remember,
397
00:16:52,637 --> 00:16:56,807
because so central
to sense of self-worth.
398
00:16:56,891 --> 00:16:58,809
-Yeah.
-I never thought about that.
399
00:16:58,893 --> 00:17:00,269
The coat and glasses again.
400
00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:04,273
And that's why he's never
been able to rest,
401
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:06,400
to take a sick day from work,
402
00:17:06,401 --> 00:17:08,318
because it would mean
having to admit
403
00:17:08,319 --> 00:17:10,196
they really could get by
without him.
404
00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:12,573
And then
he wouldn't feel needed,
405
00:17:12,657 --> 00:17:14,951
wouldn't feel... useful.
406
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:16,577
And to him,
407
00:17:16,661 --> 00:17:18,704
if he doesn't feel useful,
408
00:17:18,788 --> 00:17:21,165
then he feels... worthless.
409
00:17:21,249 --> 00:17:23,542
-Right, Rogu?
-I guess.
410
00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:25,169
That's so sad.
411
00:17:25,253 --> 00:17:27,296
-But we can use it.
-What do you mean?
412
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:30,091
If I pretend to be
one of his coworkers,
413
00:17:30,092 --> 00:17:32,384
maybe I can get close enough
to draw his blood.
414
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:34,679
Right. So we just need
to think of the name of
415
00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:36,556
one of Dad's coworkers.
416
00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:37,848
Right.
417
00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:40,268
Who's the one
with the face? Uh...
418
00:17:40,351 --> 00:17:42,937
-Always wears the clothes...
-[all] Jackson.
419
00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:44,689
Right. Jackson.
420
00:17:44,690 --> 00:17:46,064
What does Jackson sound like?
421
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:47,115
You know...
422
00:17:47,116 --> 00:17:49,442
[in Australian accent]
Jackson, I'm Jackson.
423
00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:51,070
That's not Jackson.
424
00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:52,321
Jackson's more like...
425
00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:54,198
[gruffly]
Hey, it's me, Jackson.
426
00:17:54,199 --> 00:17:55,574
[high-pitched] I'm Jackson.
427
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:57,702
[overlapping chatter]
428
00:17:57,785 --> 00:17:59,704
Here's Jackson.
429
00:17:59,787 --> 00:18:01,330
All right, already. I got it.
430
00:18:04,959 --> 00:18:06,168
[Francine] Good luck.
431
00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:15,046
Looks like Dad's really
developed a taste for rat heads.
432
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:17,763
Okay, I'm at
the attic stairs now.
433
00:18:19,473 --> 00:18:20,523
I'm going up.
434
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:22,560
[Stan snarls]
435
00:18:32,236 --> 00:18:33,286
[Stan grunts]
436
00:18:34,405 --> 00:18:35,531
[hisses]
437
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:37,617
Aah! Stan, it's me, Jackson.
438
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:39,250
Jackshohn?
439
00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:41,954
-[sniffs]
-[grunts nervously]
440
00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:46,500
Yup. I need you to help me
clear a paper jam.
441
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:49,128
Paper jam? Crunch time.
442
00:18:53,883 --> 00:18:55,509
Hmm.
443
00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:59,680
That's it now. Nice and easy.
444
00:18:59,764 --> 00:19:00,814
[screams]
445
00:19:00,848 --> 00:19:02,016
[Steve grunts]
446
00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:03,476
-[growls]
-[crunch]
447
00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:06,020
-[screams]
-[Stan growls]
448
00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:08,356
-[Stan grunting]
-[Steve screaming]
449
00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:11,359
Are those Steve's
pajama pants?
450
00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:13,944
-[Stan growls]
-[screams]
451
00:19:14,779 --> 00:19:16,280
[screams]
452
00:19:16,364 --> 00:19:17,531
[snarls]
453
00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:21,952
[Steve] Leg broken,
454
00:19:22,453 --> 00:19:24,747
wounds bleeding,
455
00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:26,999
speech halting.
456
00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:29,877
And I didn't get
the blood sample.
457
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:31,462
That's okay, Steve.
458
00:19:31,545 --> 00:19:32,797
You did your best.
459
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:34,507
Just come on back.
460
00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:36,384
[groans]
461
00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:38,476
Oh.
462
00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:40,137
No.
463
00:19:40,221 --> 00:19:42,431
I need to power through.
464
00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:45,184
What's powering through?
465
00:19:50,398 --> 00:19:52,400
[softly] I need absolute
466
00:19:52,483 --> 00:19:54,777
radio silence.
467
00:20:12,670 --> 00:20:15,620
[Roger] Hey, if you have a chance,
grab some more crackers.
468
00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:18,384
-[growls]
-[screams]
469
00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:20,386
Dad, please.
470
00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:22,304
I need you to be you again.
471
00:20:23,139 --> 00:20:24,189
[growls]
472
00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:26,434
You don't need
to be important at work.
473
00:20:27,184 --> 00:20:28,978
You don't need to be useful.
474
00:20:29,645 --> 00:20:31,939
All you need to be is you.
475
00:20:32,022 --> 00:20:33,072
Stan.
476
00:20:33,149 --> 00:20:35,609
Dad... you're enough.
477
00:20:35,693 --> 00:20:37,903
Please, just be you.
478
00:20:39,363 --> 00:20:40,448
Just be...
479
00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:42,123
me?
480
00:20:45,995 --> 00:20:50,666
Maybe I'll just lie down
for a little rest.
481
00:20:57,214 --> 00:20:59,925
And on a personal note,
with the virus now eradicated
482
00:20:59,926 --> 00:21:01,426
and life returned to normal,
483
00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:04,012
I'd like to apologize
to anyone I may have offended
484
00:21:04,013 --> 00:21:05,805
or dismembered
during the outbreak.
485
00:21:05,806 --> 00:21:07,475
Water under the bridge, Greg.
486
00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:10,728
All right, let's get you
all tucked in.
487
00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:14,857
[both] Tuck, tuck, tuck,
tuck, tuck, tuck.
488
00:21:14,858 --> 00:21:17,734
There. Think you'll be heading
back into work tomorrow?
489
00:21:17,735 --> 00:21:20,112
Nah, I'm gonna take
a few more days to recover.
490
00:21:20,196 --> 00:21:22,031
They can manage
till I get back.
491
00:21:24,241 --> 00:21:25,618
-Hey, Steve.
-Yeah, Dad?
492
00:21:25,701 --> 00:21:28,662
Can I have one more rat head?
493
00:21:28,746 --> 00:21:30,164
Sure thing.
494
00:21:30,247 --> 00:21:32,208
Right after you
get some sleep.
495
00:21:32,258 --> 00:21:36,808
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