All language subtitles for 50-ways-to-tease-your-lover v2.av1

Was it Satan or Joan of Arc who once
said, I'm feeling hot and in the mood

love.

Oh, I don't know, I'm not a theologian,
but I am Donna Eyre. And this show is

all about getting your lover in the mood
for, well, whatever you want, really.

We'll be showing you 50 ways for you to
tease your lover. In private, in public,

with friends, with a little bit of fun,
and six incredible strip routines for us

girls to watch and learn.

Good to please but even better to tease
and probably better paid as well

I

Love

it. It's fantastic.

Why did you choose to do that particular
routine?

It's a little more fiery. I think a
little bit more aggressive

What can we use?

to be able to do this at home um a good
sturdy coffee table was always quite

nice yeah you do a lot of lying around
on that the chairs are very erotic i

they've got like good sturdy position if
you don't go too wild they'll play

upright something strong i think strong
that's going to support your weight so

you can uh be a bit more sexy like using
one leg and yeah it's nice sometimes

just look good on a call if you do have
a pool you're in luck

It's always a really good idea to get in
front of a mirror and catch the bits

that you don't like that are sexy and
the bits that you do like that are sexy.

So you'll rehearse and then you can wow
your man with it.

You've been murdering my world.

This is how far I've come.

You've been murdering my world.

You've been murdering my world.

You'll be perfect just like me.

You'll be a lover in my bed and a god to
my head.

The tease that worked quite well for me,
although I didn't realise it at the

time, was I wrote lots of little notes
which I put around the room in his suit

pocket, under the pillow, in the
bathroom, in the fridge.

Just little suggestions and some were
more sort of suggestive than others, I

think it's fair to say.

Some of them, I think, made him laugh.

Some of them probably made him...

I look forward to seeing me and getting
home quicker. What you have to be

careful of, though, if you're going to
leave notes around for somebody, is that

anybody else might find them, which was,
in fact, exactly what happened when his

roommate opened the fridge and found a
note under the yogurt.

And I sort of just kind of was like,
what's this?

And he's like, wow, I only met her once.

The piece that worked for me was a kind
of voyeuristic piece.

Basically, I got one of those handheld
cameras, video recorders.

I set it up in my bedroom and filmed
myself taking my clothes off and

teasing him, telling him what I was
going to do to him the next time we met.

Then I left it in a strategic place,
almost safe, obviously, so no one else

could see it, with a little note saying,
watch me.

It kind of did the trick.

My favourite tease is getting wet with
my boyfriend, but that means in the bath

together.

I remember a time when my boyfriend was
away working and he was late back and he

was on the train and he phoned me up and
he was absolutely fed up, he'd had a

horrible time. We said, that's it, I
just want to get home, get a shower and

to bed and that's it. I put down the
phone and I thought, I haven't seen him

over a week, I am going to make tonight
special. So I ran the bath, filled it

with oils.

and set some candles up and waited for
him to return.

Luckily, I didn't have to wait too long,
and he absolutely loved it.

Aromatherapy is a great way to get
someone in the mood. There's loads of

you can buy. You can buy these sort of
bath bombs with flowers and rose petals.

Sexy tunes are also great.

To have in the bath, have something
playing in the background always helps.

Champagne in the bath works a treat. He
cannot resist the thought of you lying

starkless in the bath, glass of
champagne in your hand, waiting for him.

I've brought along the ultimate
accessory chick to show me her bag of

Tara. Hello.

Hello. Come on then, show me what you've
got in your bag.

It's in my doctor's bag.

Right. Wait.

Okay, first of all, is my blindfold.

My blindfold. Why is this so good?

Number one, you can't see anything.

Exactly. That would miss the whole
point, wouldn't it? And I suppose the

thing is...

Well, you could be doing anything.

I mean, the whole thing about teasing is
really it's like all that mystery and

an enigma. Yeah. I think it sort of gets
them going. I mean, it's the what is

she going to do next, which is the
tease. Shall I show you something else?

All right, then.

Handcuffs coming out.

Oh, and they match the blindfold, so I
like to be more coordinated.

Oh, yes, absolutely.

Now, I think the most important thing is
don't buy cheap handcuffs because

they'll break or they're uncomfortable.

Second thing is don't leave them there.

And always make sure your friends have a
spare set of keys.

Do these work?

Works for me.

My next accessory rather speaks for
itself now, if I can get this right.

You know, I mean, it's rather an odd
looking thing, but... Oh, yeah, it's

fantastic. You know, the blindfold, the
handcuffs and that, you've got them.

There is no way on this earth I would
wear a blindfold with you.

Yeah, OK.

Now, this is the whole dominatrix thing.
I mean, you know, men love to be told

what to do, I think.

That's a very good excuse.

I do definitely think that, you know,
when it comes to all these accessories

teasing him out, it is very much the
build -up in his head which is going on.

mean...

I think you want to keep the whole
accessory thing going as long as

because that's what builds it up.

Yeah, it's something to play with and
it's something that's fun.

It passes the time because they could be
scheduled.

No, we'd love men. We wouldn't do that.

The best piece for me has definitely got
to be bodily contact, especially if

you're in a public place because you're
touching them and they go back. Mad for

it, but knowing they can't pursue it
until you get home even then if they're

lucky they might get it And the great
thing about doing it is anybody could do

it and it always works men always fall
for it They love it

A

great tease that worked for me is
meeting my boyfriend in a public place

nothing but a coat and shoes on after
I'd whispered into his ear that I was

wearing nothing on, all plans for the
rest of the afternoon were cancelled and

it was straight home.

A few things to remember when doing this
tease are make sure you get the right

time and place, make sure that he's
alone and that he's not with his mates

his mother, avoid raised platforms, and
think before you sit.

You might think lap dancing was just for
politicians and bickers, but girls...

This could be just what your lover's
been waiting for.

So, pull up a chair and take the weight
off your feet.

A

lap

dance is the closest...

Possible contact, really, isn't it?
Yeah, you can't really get any closer to

anybody when you're lap dancing.

It's probably the sexiest dance you can
do for somebody.

Yeah. So what are the things to remember
when you're doing the lap dance?

There's quite a few things to remember,
really.

You're going to need to have a chair,
because sofas, bed, too soft, too low. A

bra that is easy to take off, because
there's nothing worse than having a bra

that won't come off. So do you let...

your partner on who cue is at work? No,
no. I'm not allowed to touch you during

a lap dance, no.

Be swimming in money, I need jet skis in
mine. Can't seize a dime, looking in

the mirror, feeling pleased with the
shine.

Lady Rolex for the time. The glasses,
who come work for Charlie? A boss with a

body. Ask anybody, I could take over
Gotti. Pool by the pool, are you just

another hottie?

Gross, gotta stay out.

Okay, anything else that we need to
remember?

Don't talk to them.

No? No. It really does fool the moment
when you're lap dancing. Talking to

somebody is not really a very good idea.

Now, would this kind of dance work for a
man and a woman?

Yeah, I don't see why not.

Yeah? Yeah, I think to lap dance for a
woman is just equally as good as lap

dancing for a man. I think it's eternal
for both sexes.

Coming up in part two, chicks with food,
chicks with fans, and chicks

with tricks.

Coming up in our

countdown, teasing with food, teasing
with touch.

And more strip routines for you to
learn.

So girls, I hope you've all learnt
something so far.

And boys, I hope you managed to grab
something for your private collection.

Now for another lesson on one of the
world's oldest art forms.

Thank you.

Thank you.

It's all right, it's all right She moves
in mysterious ways

It's all right, it's all right, all
right She

moves in mysterious ways

They were fantastic.

Very showgirl. So tell me why this one
is different from, say, the other

routines. Because it's very
sophisticated, but quite elegant.

Yeah. And it's just a very showgirl. And
it looks great. It's fun.

It really does.

Yeah. So how does it differ from all the
other routines? What's so special about

this one?

Well, you start off almost naked.

Uh -huh. So do you think it's as
effective?

Because isn't that where you're meant to
reveal it all at the end?

It's more of a tease. It's more light
-hearted and fun.

So what techniques do we need to
remember for this one?

Big feathers.

Big feathers. Enough to cover what you
need to cover up. Enough to cover up.

Or not, as the case may be.

Now,

the thing I noticed about your routine
was the moves seemed to be a bit more

subtle. It's kind of not noticeable
dance moves, but just a lot of walks.

turn it's very cozy very elegant and if
you practice in front of a friend in

front of the mirror uh -huh and you
become really good

The best way I know to tease a guy would
probably be to ignore him. An example

of this is I went to a party with a new
boyfriend of mine and I ignored him all

night and paid no attention to him but
to everybody else and it absolutely

him mad.

And he ended up all over me at the end
of the night and in fact we're still

together now.

Tease -ups always work for me.

is when my boyfriend comes in and he
sees me sitting there at the table with

just a pack of cards and he knows we're
going to have a game of strip poker.

So the first thing is you want to be in
control, so you have to be well

prepared, have all the cards ready
before you start all laid out on the

You want to make sure you're wearing the
right clothes, quite a lot of layers

and jewellery and things, so you can
make the teasing go on for as long as

possible to get him really excited.

Effort is the act, as we all know.

or something that should arouse sexual
excitement.

Some of them you'll know, some of them
you won't. Some of them are just plain

silly. So what I've done is I've brought
along my bottle -blonde friend to help

you find an alternative to Viagra.

Okay, what have we got here?

All right, this is our first
aphrodisiac. This is snake's blood, no

you believe it?

Snake's blood.

Blood from a live snake is better.

Really? Uh -huh. I don't know why.

Okay, go on. I will if you will.

I'm not. In one shot.

No, go on. Try it. No! All right, I'm
game.

Right, who wants me then?

I can't believe you drank that. That's
disgusting.

Oysters! My favourite.

No,

I really, really like oysters.

Now, the reason these are so good is
because they're full of minerals.

very high in protein, which gives you a
big energy boost.

Low in fat, oysters.

And they get them going for hours.

Yes, hopefully.

OK, well, let's try one then.

I love them.

Onions are believed to increase the
libido. You would never have thought it,

they do.

In France, newlyweds are normally given
onion soup on the morning after their

wedding to get them going again.

Did you know that? No, I didn't.

Mmm, thank you.

All right, here we've got truffles.

Looks awful, doesn't it?

Now, they're very rare.

This one would set you back about £70.

And to spot a good truffle, they've got
to be quite...

Firm. It should have a good aroma and it
should be full of taste.

Thank you, your sound man.

If you can't get them to eat any of that
stuff, crab ravioli, that's what we

need. First of all, have a drink,
Denise.

Thank you very much.

Cheers. Cheers. Right, here we've got
some olive oil.

Okay, we've got salat.

We've got our fish, our prawns and our
salmon.

Avocado, asparagus, cream and fish
stock.

Now this is all stuff you can get
absolutely anywhere.

Voila!

Go on, you can do it.

You're the expert. Oh!

She's too weak.

What do you want?

It won't be long.

He couldn't have got me a heavier pan.

He only came in to look at your bread.

Did you notice how it went like this?

Don't make me laugh. I'm trying to dish
up. After all this and that that we've

had out there, we should be feeling
quite horny tonight.

Not together.

That's really nice.

Still, there you have it. Crab ravioli.

That doesn't work.

Don't send me. It's not worth it.

The way I tease my boyfriend, I'd look
at him.

I'd catch his eye from across the crowd.
They were in, like, a club or a bar.

And I'd look at him, like, there he is.

And then I'd give him a little bit of a
smile, you know.

And then I'd walk off, and he'd see me
walk off, and I'd shake my ass.

And he'd know!

There are loads of massage techniques
around at the moment, but they're all

based around the same kind of thing,
which is touch manipulation, which is

most basic tease of all.

Swedish massage is all about relaxing
the muscles and squeezing the tensions

from the body.

Ideally, the recipient has to be naked,
which is best, really, for a tease

anyone.

Aromatherapy. is all about oils or
herbal remedies, if you like.

The idea is that you massage it into
your partner's back and they absorb the

lotion through their skin.

Oils that are useful for this kind of
thing are rose and neroli, which are

supposed to have a calming effect, while
cardamom and black pepper have a

stimulating effect.

Reflexology is chiefly about the hands
and the feet, and I'm going to

concentrate on the feet.

By caressing certain areas on the soles
of your feet, you're supposed to be able

to release tension in other areas of the
body. For men, this area here is

supposed to work wonders for the sexual
areas of their body.

Give your lover something to remember
you by. Why not pop an intimate picture

yourself in his briefcase before he goes
to work, giving him a teasing taste of

what's to come?

My favourite tease is the phone tease.

I like to do it from a phone box.

It's easy because everyone has a phone.

The way I like to use it is to phone my
lover at work when I know he's in a

position he can't talk but I can be
quite candid about what's going to

later.

There are a few things to remember
though.

Make sure you've got the right number.

Make sure you protect your own number.

And make sure you're not on
speakerphone.

And don't be afraid to tell him to shut
up.

After all, you're in control.

And where did it get me?

Well, I got what I wanted.

Okay, we're all 21st century chicks, so
why not use technology to tease?

Make friends with your fax machine,
learn to love it, and it will love your

partner for you.

Just remember, be creative, try to be
ambiguous, make sure you've got the

number. Make sure your lover is the only
one by the fax machine.

And remember, less is more.

Love letters are out and email is in.
It's easy, it's quick, and there are no

stamps to lick.

Remember, keep messages short.

Keep them waiting for your reply.

No drawings or diagrams.

And make sure he doesn't pass it on to
his friends.

Text messaging.

Everybody's doing it, so why don't you?
In the UK, over half a billion text

messages are sent each month.

But remember, keep to the point, don't
get into text tennis matches, and make

sure you're sending it to the right
person.

Well, if all that feels a little cold
and you'd like more of a personal touch,

you can send your lover a message via a
webcam.

More and more people now have access to
computers, and as long as they've got

the right software, there's no reason
why you can't send them.

A moving image with sound.

But remember, the camera never lies.

There is a tea that works really well
for me.

And it's set in a club and you're with
your man.

And you nip off to the toilet and remove
your knickers.

And go back up to him and take his hand
and neatly...

fold your knickers and put them in the
palm of his hand and close the hand.

And then as you're walking off, you
obviously turn back and see whether he's

doing the, oh, my God, I can't believe
she's done that, or that kind of, mm, I

know what you're up to.

It had the desired effect and couldn't
get home quick enough.

There's three main things that you've
got to be careful of.

One, that you put them in your man's
hand and nobody else is, and then you're

into that sort of thing.

Second of all, that they're obviously
sexy knickers.

And third of all, that they're clean.

Lingerie, a necessity and an accessory,
but can also be used as a tease.

Right now, let's look at these knickers.

That I particularly love.

Yeah, this is Anne Summers.

You can't really beat that message, can
you? Just in case your boyfriend doesn't

know.

And... That, now...

Every man's dream. If you want to think
of some way to turn your guy on, put a

pair of these on and see if it works.
You've scored.

You don't want a visible panty line. You
have to wear a g -string.

Not an obvious colour, actually, rather,
to have. It's a beautiful colour.

But I think it's actually quite sexy.

And these are M &S.

And these little saucy numbers are Anne
Summers.

I love those. I think they're gorgeous.
They're great. And I think for a tease,

surely, that's got to be the one. That
is a definite tease.

And next we're going to talk about bras.

Got a classic black one. Your black
wonder bra.

I wonder where you got them from.

Brilliant with the variable cleavage
adjustment thing here. Oh, yeah, I know.

This is what I really need, but don't
wear. And this I love, though. Yeah.

is this what men want or not? This is
what I'd like to know. What do you

It's a tease.

It's a tease, isn't it? That is
definitely a tease.

Who makes that one?

That one is made... Topshop. By Topshop.

And this is a lot of padding. This is
the Contessa from La Senza. That's

The Contessa looks like a big woman to
me.

It's a parachute.

But I think, you know, again, I love
that the pink satin is very sexy. So

gone away from those dowdy white and
black underwear, and we've gone much

for the colourful. I mean, black shiny,
I think you're always going to get a bit

of black sexy underwear, and I think
that's great. It's always going to look

good. You're sort of safe with that. But
you can be more adventurous.

And a little more playful.

MyT's is a real tasty, the treat.

It's all about sucking, licking,
spooning, dabbing, drooling, basically

anything to get him going with food.

There are so many places you can put
whatever you've chosen as your food. I

mean, you can start with your fingers,
move up your wrist, your chest, your

lips, any sensitive part of your body,
even your toes if that's what sends you

on.

Absolutely everybody can do it. You just
open the fridge, see what's in there,

especially if you know his favourites,
pour it all over you and say, boy, you

know, do whatever you want to do.

How can you resist?

But can it be used for teasing?

Well, as I know absolutely nothing about
this mystical -sounding stuff, I've got

two non -mystical ladies to help
explain. Nadia and Zoe. Hello.

So, what exactly is Feng Shui?

Basically, it's trying to get you in
harmony with your environment to

good luck, prosperity, and maybe even a
bit of romance.

Very simple.

Move a few things around.

You buy some bits and pieces and put it
in your romance corner.

Okay, so this is our bedroom.

What's wrong with this? Ah, the mirror.
It's got to go. Really? Why?

It reflects the couple, which invites
interference from outside influences,

which could, at the worst, end up in
infidelity.

Really? Television's the same.

Toys, get rid of all the toys.

You don't want to be having a good time.
So you can't have cluttery toys?

No, get rid of the clutter and also any
dirty laundry.

So hang on, first of all, why can't we
have toys in the room? Well, the toys

dirty laundry, just any clutter.

It's clutter and it's... I suppose it's
not that sexy as well. No, it's not

really, is it? You don't want to be
looking at Tigger while you're doing

Ah, Bill.

Bill the bad.

Phil, don't bring your work into the
bedroom.

That's not good. This is where I'm going
wrong.

Maybe get rid of the pictures of your
family, your mum and dad looking down on

you. Yeah, that's not really a good
move, is it? Granny watching you. No.

And if you find the south -west corner
of your bedroom, maybe you could get

roses. We need the south -west corner.

Yep, the compass comes in here. So
where's south -west in here? South -west

yep, exactly there.

So what we do is get the corner and then
half. And here's them, we've got a... A

rose quartz crystal or amethyst or a
clear crystal.

And maybe aromatherapy candles or
aromatherapy oils.

And rose is an aphrodisiac. Red, pink,
that's just a good colour for...

Okay. Does this work? Girls?

Yeah, it's raining men. It's raining
men.

Really? Okay.

Since I found my southwest corner.

Since you found your southwest corner,
it's raining men.

Tell me the tip.

Best routine?

Well, basically, my routine is about
less is more, and who can

tease in your partner.

Eye contact.

Eye contact.

Lots of it. Yep. Why do you think that
works?

Because you're intimidating them.

I see.

With your eyes. Look them in the eyes.

Yeah. Yeah?

Don't take your clothes off. Uh -huh.
Until the last minute. Hinting. Yeah.

Hinting. Always hinting that you're
going to do something. Yeah.

But never quite.

Until the end.

You're good.

Do you enjoy it? I do enjoy it. Yeah? I
do it for a living.

I must enjoy it.

Exactly.

Yeah, I'm top three.

You will top three.

Don't you top three. Don't you top
three.

Coming up, chicks with chicks, chicks
with makeup,

and a chick with a weird wardrobe.

Coming up, numbers 14 to number 1 on our
countdown.

including dressing to kill, make -up to
thrill, and some more moves that might

appeal.

You know that moment where you're gazing
into his eyes and he's gazing at the

football on TV, and you're thinking, how
am I going to get his attention?

Well, why not phone a friend?

Please allow me to introduce myself.

I'm a man of wealth and faith.

I've been around for a long, long year.
Stolen many men's souls and

faith.

I was around when Jesus cried at his
moment of doubt and

pain.

Being a damn sure pilot.

What is in your face?

Pleased to meet you.

Hope you guessed my name.

Yeah. But what's puzzling you is the
nature of

my game.

I stuck around St.

Petersburg.

Tell me about the routine. Do you
practice together?

We dance together all the time, so we've
got a routine.

So if you were going to do it with a
friend, you'd have to practice what you

were going to do, obviously.

After you've done it a few times, it
just becomes a habit, doesn't it? Yeah,

just becomes natural. But I think to
start off with, you need to practice.

Just with each other, mucking around.
Even if you just have a girly night, get

some drinks in and muck around.

And then you just get used to it, you're
used to each other. Do you think this

one really works? Because this is kind
of one of the ultimate fantasies, isn't

it? with two of you together.

I think it's mainly every man's fantasy,
the two women together.

And that's what makes you feel in
control because you know it's a man's

You feel even more in control, which
makes you feel sexier, which enables you

do a better job.

If he's worth thinking about, his
makeup, I'm gonna tell you a few little

of the trade. So we're gonna go for
smoky eyes, I think.

Yeah.

Do you normally have dark on your eyes?

Evening, I sort of do sometimes.

I generally use most of Max Factor's
products.

You can use anything from Body Shop to
Calvin Klein to Armani, any of them.

So this is a cream eyeshadow.

I'm just putting it, going right in to
the eyelash line.

It's really important to do that because
I know that people don't do that and

they get little white marks.

See how I'm really working in to the
eyelashes.

And then blending out with a finger.

It's not good to have harsh lines.

When I was learning, they would say,
blending, blending, blending.

It's all about blending.

It's a little secret, this one.

It's good to use a really dark pencil,
and you just use it in the middle here.

It brings out the eye.

And then load the mascara.

When you're putting the mascara on, you
have to get really to the root.

I'm just going to put a bit of this.

And this has got a bit of glitter. It's
a bit of fun. Oh, it sounds like Coca

-Cola. I'm just going to put it in the
middle there.

I think that's all you need.

Yeah. If that doesn't tease them, then
forget it.

Don't know what will.

Yeah, exactly.

But there is something that I must
convey.

One thing that comes to me is nice,
adoptive music, like Bump and Grind by

Kelly.

All together.

I don't see nothing wrong with a little
bump and grind.

One song I have to say that really
teases my boyfriend would be a song by

Green called I'm So Glad You're Mine.

There's a specific bit in it which goes,
when darkness stands around me, things

forsake me. I know you'll never let me
down.

Brilliant. It really gets you in the
mood.

A brilliant piece of music that I find
is a very good tease is Donna Summer, I

Feel Love. Kind of works, like if you've
seen Jungle Book, you know the snake

tries to hypnotise Mowgli and he has
those sort of eye things like that.

how it works. Very good.

The music that I always find is a great
tease for me is I come home, I put on a

bit of Aerosmith, Love in an Elevator,
and it's got a lot of sexual innuendos

there without being really blatant. And
the line that always works for me is

going down, Mr. Tyler.

Always leaves them with a shocked
expression and I walk away with a big

Going down.

Right, well, what teases work for me
is...

Particularly the classic that not many
people know about, and it's called The

Argument.

And what you've got to do is you've got
to sort of, like, meander it round. So

they lose their temper with you, you
cry, they feel sorry, and they have to,

know, sort of, like, make it up to you.

You could start maybe from the kitchen,
storm upstairs, sulk, cry, make sure

they hear you, the door's got to be
open, of course, and they come up and,

know, they say, baby, I'm so sorry, is
there anything I can do for you?

Well, let's see.

Now, a tease you might have thought of
but not actually tried is dressing up. I

don't mean a posh frock or a smart suit.
I mean costumes, becoming somebody

else.

Davina, explain all.

Well, this is quite an easy tease to do
because all you have to do is go down to

a costume shop and just rent an outfit
like this. This one is the schoolgirl

look, which has become very popular
since our friend Britney cleared into

pop world. What if they don't like the
schoolgirl?

Well, there are many other options.

I can get one.

Okay, before you ask, I'm meant to be a
she -devil type thing.

Take a treat.

Exactly. No, it's like I suppose I could
banish my lover to the pits of hell for

an eternity if he doesn't satisfy me.

Quite right.

This is what this is about. I think it's
been domineering.

Yes, you could throw them with your
fork. Yeah, but we care because the end

comes off on this one. It's not very
good.

Oh, so dumb.

Daddy.

So what's this then? This look, Janet,
is my headmistress look. This one is

where you could give out punishment to
your lover to give him the cane.

Just slap on the bottom, being cheeky.

I don't remember my headmistress wearing
fishnet stockings, but you never know.

It's all fantasy, isn't it?

It certainly is. Say miss.

Miss.

This is Lara Croft. Obviously the bag's
optional. I think you should go back out

and... Back flip onto the sofa. Okay, I
understand.

Now I can't wheel into the room like
that. This is a good idea because my

and I just sit there and play stupid
games all day. So I definitely know that

all the boys are going to know who this
character is.

So definitely appreciate a Lara Croft
lookalike. Not too sure about the knife,

though. Could become a little bit
dangerous.

You can definitely get what you want
with this.

Come on then, Florence Nightingale.

Tell me about this one. Well, this is a
classic, the nurse's outfit, but this is

more classic NHS.

Not particularly what I would have gone
for. I would have gone for the high

-heeled shoes, obviously the black
fishnet stockings, like the little white

pinafore. This skirt would have been a
lot shorter up here, so you would have

seen the top of the thigh, which is very
tempting.

The little heart, the little clock you
get there. Yeah, yeah, you take the

clock. But this one, the only thing I'm
going to prescribe is Viagra, I think.

So shut up, shut up please because
Princess Leia has actually been voted

sexiest movie character of all time.

So this is it.

Sex is the last.

So what would you need to do?

I can't believe it. I mean, look at me.
I mean, all you need is a sheet, a bit

of old tinsel left over from Christmas.
A nice set of buns.

That's right, look at me. I mean, the
wig's optional.

Look, it's not real.

In my dreams I'm dying all the time.

So Maddy, tell me about this routine.

The routine is one of the raunchiest
dances you can do for a guy.

Because you move very slowly and sexily.

Use your hands.

But is it still no touching?

Yeah, you mustn't let the guy touch you.
You've just got to use a lot of eye

contact.

You've got to be very confident, so
practice before you do it, I'd say.

Yeah, a lot.

Not too much, honestly. You can't stage
it too much because you want to appear

natural. But know what you're doing so
you don't muck it up.

And how effective do you think this is?
Will this one work?

Definitely, I think at the end.

You should have him really turned on by
the end of the dance. Yeah.

I just hope so.

So there you have it, 50 ways to tease
your lover.

And if none of this works, please don't
write enough for your money back,

because as you can imagine, I've spent
it all already.

I've been Donna Eyre, and remember, you
can try this at home.

Just don't get arrested.