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1
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:06,131
Hey, y'all, here's
what's been happening
2
00:00:06,131 --> 00:00:07,883
on White Famous.
3
00:00:07,883 --> 00:00:09,134
You gotta fuckin'
tell her.
4
00:00:09,134 --> 00:00:10,969
I think that's
a terrible idea.
5
00:00:10,969 --> 00:00:12,846
No matter how this shakes out,
he's always gonna be
6
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,514
be the one
who spilled the beans
7
00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:16,350
and fucked up her relationship
with Robbie.
8
00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:18,310
Man's got a point.
9
00:00:18,310 --> 00:00:20,854
As you may or may not know,
there's a tape out there.
10
00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:22,564
Tape?
What kind of tape?
11
00:00:22,564 --> 00:00:24,149
A sex tape
starring Kali
12
00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:26,652
and featuring Floyd Mooney.
13
00:00:26,652 --> 00:00:29,238
You're suddenly gonna become
a whole lot more famous.
14
00:00:29,238 --> 00:00:30,989
I heard about what
happened, and, I, uh,
15
00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:32,241
felt like you
could use a friend.
16
00:00:32,241 --> 00:00:33,909
So what the fuck now, Malcolm?
17
00:00:33,909 --> 00:00:35,869
Well, I think we work on
your apology strategy.
18
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:37,371
What am I apologizing for?
19
00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:39,248
For making fun of
iconic African-Americans
20
00:00:39,248 --> 00:00:41,833
within the context
of a low-down, dirty sexy tape.
21
00:00:41,833 --> 00:00:43,252
♪ jazzy musical flourish ♪
22
00:00:48,215 --> 00:00:51,385
♪ Don't you know we love ya ♪
23
00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:53,929
♪ Sweet Sadie ♪
24
00:00:53,929 --> 00:00:56,932
♪ Place no one above ya ♪
25
00:00:56,932 --> 00:00:58,767
♪ Sadie ♪
26
00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:01,186
♪ Living in the past ♪
27
00:01:01,186 --> 00:01:03,397
♪ If there's a Heaven
up above ♪
28
00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:06,108
♪ I know you're teaching
angels how to love ♪
29
00:01:06,108 --> 00:01:08,193
Balls, what are you doing?
30
00:01:08,193 --> 00:01:09,736
Where did that voice come from?
31
00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:11,571
Well, do I sound good?
32
00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:13,865
Yeah, you sound great but,
like, what are you doing here?
33
00:01:13,865 --> 00:01:15,284
Sadie.
34
00:01:15,284 --> 00:01:17,035
- Oh.
- Sadie, Sadie, please.
35
00:01:17,035 --> 00:01:18,453
Wait, Sadie, come on, Sadie--
Balls.
36
00:01:18,453 --> 00:01:20,539
♪ Whoo-hoo! Sadie ♪
37
00:01:20,539 --> 00:01:22,541
Okay, Balls,
you have to be quiet.
38
00:01:22,541 --> 00:01:24,876
You have to talk to me.
39
00:01:24,876 --> 00:01:26,878
Okay?
40
00:01:26,878 --> 00:01:28,422
Well...
41
00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:30,215
I'm gonna go in
and check on my boy.
42
00:01:30,215 --> 00:01:33,343
- You still got Fruity Pebbles?
- You know I do.
43
00:01:34,303 --> 00:01:36,221
- Sadie.
- What?
44
00:01:36,221 --> 00:01:37,806
- I'm sorry.
- What does that mean?
45
00:01:37,806 --> 00:01:39,141
What are you sorry for, Floyd?
46
00:01:39,141 --> 00:01:40,684
I'm sorry for a lot of things.
47
00:01:40,684 --> 00:01:42,352
I'm sorry for shitting
where you eat.
48
00:01:42,352 --> 00:01:44,438
I'm sorry for embarrassing
you and Trevor.
49
00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:46,732
I'm sorry for disrespecting
beloved African-American icons.
50
00:01:46,732 --> 00:01:48,525
Did somebody write this for you?
51
00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:50,527
Yeah, I been kind of practicing.
You know, it's... maybe.
52
00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:52,279
Look, listen, I-I planned
to make a formal apology--
53
00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:53,572
Okay, Floyd, listen.
54
00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:57,743
The Kali thing...I get it.
55
00:01:57,743 --> 00:01:59,453
It wasn't fair of me to ask you
56
00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:01,079
to stay away from her
if she was interested.
57
00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:02,914
And I'm guessing the sex tape
wasn't your fault.
58
00:02:02,914 --> 00:02:04,374
Hell no, it wasn't!
59
00:02:04,374 --> 00:02:05,417
You did stick your dick in her,
though.
60
00:02:05,417 --> 00:02:06,585
I did.
61
00:02:06,585 --> 00:02:08,003
Okay, could you maybe
62
00:02:08,003 --> 00:02:09,671
not relive it
in front of me, please?
63
00:02:09,671 --> 00:02:11,632
- Sorry.
- Also, comedians
64
00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:13,550
aren't supposed
to star in sex tapes, Floyd.
65
00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:15,385
That's what I been saying.
66
00:02:15,385 --> 00:02:16,970
I'm not even sure they're
supposed to be in good shape.
67
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:20,265
I'll let myself go.
Whatever it takes.
68
00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:22,392
You don't even know
what you really did wrong.
69
00:02:22,392 --> 00:02:23,769
Like, the absolute worst thing.
70
00:02:23,769 --> 00:02:25,103
What?
71
00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:27,105
Well, you...
you were with a girl,
72
00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:28,774
and you did
your little impressions
73
00:02:28,774 --> 00:02:30,442
and you made her laugh
74
00:02:30,442 --> 00:02:31,985
and then you had sex with her.
75
00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:33,820
Yeah...
76
00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:36,281
That was our thing.
77
00:02:37,616 --> 00:02:38,992
Oh.
78
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:41,119
Yeah, "oh."
79
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,373
Hey...
80
00:02:49,378 --> 00:02:51,755
I mean, at least
she's talking to you.
81
00:02:51,755 --> 00:02:53,548
Yeah, true that.
It's progress.
82
00:02:53,548 --> 00:02:54,883
You made me pretty popular, Dad.
83
00:02:54,883 --> 00:02:56,385
How you mean?
84
00:02:56,385 --> 00:02:58,011
All these kids who
don't want to talk to me
85
00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:59,805
suddenly want to talk to me
about you and Kali.
86
00:02:59,805 --> 00:03:02,140
Don't let it
go to your head, kid.
87
00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:04,184
Nah, they're all punks.
88
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:05,811
And some of the black kids
are mad at you
89
00:03:05,811 --> 00:03:07,687
because you made fun
of Barack and Michelle.
90
00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:10,357
And a lot of people are saying
mean stuff about you online.
91
00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:12,359
Think you're ever gonna
work again?
92
00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:14,444
I mean...
93
00:03:14,444 --> 00:03:16,488
are we gonna have to
move to the ghetto?
94
00:03:16,488 --> 00:03:18,990
- Nah. Not yet.
- Yet?
95
00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:20,450
'Course I'm gonna
work again, man.
96
00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:22,160
I'm a comedian.
It's what I do.
97
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:24,079
All this acting stuff
is just a distraction.
98
00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:25,664
I'ma get back.
99
00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:27,332
So I'ma go ahead
and make this apology.
100
00:03:27,332 --> 00:03:29,126
Before you know it,
somebody else is gonna
101
00:03:29,126 --> 00:03:30,919
do something stupid, and
they'll forget all about me.
102
00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:32,421
But why do you
have to apologize?
103
00:03:32,421 --> 00:03:33,755
It's just what you do
these days.
104
00:03:33,755 --> 00:03:35,215
But you're a comedian.
105
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:38,260
You were just being funny.
It's your job.
106
00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:40,137
Hey, come on, Trev.
Let's go.
107
00:03:40,137 --> 00:03:41,513
Where y'all going?
108
00:03:41,513 --> 00:03:42,889
- To the movies.
- Cool.
109
00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:44,808
With Robbie.
110
00:03:46,184 --> 00:03:48,061
Okay, why are you all
frowning at me?
111
00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:49,771
Well, if the court
will allow it,
112
00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:51,815
we just all think
a woman of your caliber
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00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:54,192
deserves to be with
a higher-class gentleman.
114
00:03:54,192 --> 00:03:55,610
That's all.
115
00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:57,737
Okay, thanks for that.
116
00:03:57,737 --> 00:03:58,947
Come on, let's go.
117
00:03:58,947 --> 00:04:00,699
Come on.
118
00:04:00,699 --> 00:04:02,075
Bye, guys.
119
00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:05,579
Maybe you should've
done the R. Kelly version.
120
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:08,290
Maybe you should've
kept your dick in your pants.
121
00:04:09,207 --> 00:04:11,668
♪ Bitch!
I love you! ♪
122
00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:14,629
♪ Black Joe Lewis'
"Bitch, I Love You" ♪
123
00:04:16,298 --> 00:04:18,383
♪ I don't know
just why-- ♪
124
00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:20,177
What up?
I'm Floyd Mooney,
125
00:04:20,177 --> 00:04:21,636
and I just want to apologize
126
00:04:21,636 --> 00:04:22,846
for the insensitive portrayal
127
00:04:22,846 --> 00:04:24,431
of President Barack Obama
128
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:26,349
and the sex tape
with the beautiful Kali.
129
00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:27,601
Peace.
130
00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:29,186
What up, Grandma?
131
00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:30,562
That's it?
132
00:04:30,562 --> 00:04:31,855
Tha-that's
your big fuckin' apology?
133
00:04:31,855 --> 00:04:33,523
What else I'm supposed to say?
134
00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:34,649
Well, what the fuck are you
even apologizing for?
135
00:04:34,649 --> 00:04:36,151
I don't fucking know.
136
00:04:36,151 --> 00:04:37,402
Okay, well, h-how
do you feel about Obama?
137
00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:39,404
I fucking love Obama.
138
00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:41,656
Man, I would never intentionally
disrespect that beautiful man.
139
00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:43,158
And I really fuckin'
miss him right now.
140
00:04:43,158 --> 00:04:45,160
Okay a-and how do you
feel about Kali?
141
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:46,870
I fuckin' love Kali.
142
00:04:46,870 --> 00:04:48,788
I mean, she's beautiful,
she's smart, she's talented.
143
00:04:48,788 --> 00:04:50,165
Okay, and how do you feel
about all these
144
00:04:50,165 --> 00:04:52,250
skinny-jean-wearing,
coffee-drinking,
145
00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:54,252
NAACP-thumping hipsters
146
00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:55,587
that have been
giving you a hard time?
147
00:04:55,587 --> 00:04:56,796
How do you feel about
those fucks?
148
00:04:56,796 --> 00:04:57,964
Man, fuck them motherfuckers
149
00:04:57,964 --> 00:04:59,382
if they can't take a joke!
150
00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:00,675
You know,
the world's upside-down,
151
00:05:00,675 --> 00:05:02,135
going batshit crazy.
152
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:03,845
We living in a time
where people have to
153
00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:06,473
apologize for dumb shit
every three seconds.
154
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:08,433
What if somebody
had the balls to stand up
155
00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:09,851
and be like, "Hey, internet,
156
00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:11,478
fuck you!
157
00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:13,188
Suck my balls
through my drawls, bitch."
158
00:05:13,188 --> 00:05:14,856
Whoa-whoa-whoa, so, uh,
159
00:05:14,856 --> 00:05:16,525
so you're not really sorry,
are you?
160
00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:18,360
Man, hell no,
I'm not fuckin' sorry, man.
161
00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:21,321
I mean, I am sorry for
embarrassing my son and his mom.
162
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,532
But I'm not sorry for having
wild, butt-naked sex
163
00:05:23,532 --> 00:05:26,034
with a beautiful woman
and making her laugh.
164
00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:27,786
Although I am kind of
sorry about that,
165
00:05:27,786 --> 00:05:29,579
'cause that was
me and my baby's mom's thing,
166
00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:31,831
and she's 1,000 times
more special to me.
167
00:05:31,831 --> 00:05:33,792
So that part, I would
take it back if I could.
168
00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:35,877
Fuck, man. I don't want to
live in a world where we have to
169
00:05:35,877 --> 00:05:37,629
feel shamed all the damn time.
170
00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:39,548
I'm sorry for being
a comedian in a sex tape.
171
00:05:39,548 --> 00:05:41,633
'Cause nobody watches
sex tapes for comedy.
172
00:05:41,633 --> 00:05:43,510
I don't know, man, I can't
figure it all out today.
173
00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:45,470
I'm just trying to be
real as fuck right now.
174
00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:47,430
Fuck the thought police.
175
00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:48,807
And cut.
176
00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:50,350
That's it, Floyd.
That was great.
177
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:51,935
That was, uh, that was perfect.
178
00:05:51,935 --> 00:05:53,937
What? What
you mean, "perfect," man?
179
00:05:53,937 --> 00:05:55,564
What do you mean, "cut"?
Like, I was just riffing.
180
00:05:55,564 --> 00:05:57,023
Yeah, I know, but that's
what I wanted you to do.
181
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:58,650
But that seemed like
a non-apology.
182
00:05:58,650 --> 00:05:59,734
Shouldn't we go again?
183
00:05:59,734 --> 00:06:01,152
Nah-nah-nah, I think, uh,
184
00:06:01,152 --> 00:06:02,070
I think we got it.
We're good.
185
00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:03,196
Okay.
186
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:05,115
Be serious, Teddy, okay?
187
00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:07,200
Look, if we're gonna do this
thing, let's do it right.
188
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,411
- Already done, man.
- What you mean, already done?
189
00:06:09,411 --> 00:06:10,787
I just put that shit
on Instagram.
190
00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:12,372
- What? Oh!
- Fuck.
191
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:13,999
How do you
delete this, man?
192
00:06:13,999 --> 00:06:15,000
This was just another one of
your fuckin' tricks,
193
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,167
wasn't it, Teddy?
194
00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:17,377
Nah, I just wanted to get you
195
00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:18,503
riffing it off the cuff, Floyd.
196
00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:19,713
What about production value?
197
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,339
This thing wasn't even on, man.
198
00:06:21,339 --> 00:06:22,549
I was directing you, Floyd.
199
00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:23,800
And that was punk-fucking-rock.
200
00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:25,719
Okay, that was perfect.
Look.
201
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,304
I got a Little League game; I
gotta get the fuck out of here.
202
00:06:27,304 --> 00:06:28,930
I'll see you assholes later.
Good shit, Floyd.
203
00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:31,057
You're in good shape now.
Don't worry about it.
204
00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:33,852
♪ Black Joe Lewis & The
Honeybears' "Booty City" ♪
205
00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:36,187
♪ Right on everybody ♪
206
00:06:36,187 --> 00:06:38,356
♪ Won't you take me
to Booty City ♪
207
00:06:39,899 --> 00:06:41,818
All right, man,
listen to this shit:
208
00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:44,863
"In a world grown weary
of shamed celebrity apologies,
209
00:06:44,863 --> 00:06:47,782
comedian Floyd Mooney's
middle-finger-raised,
210
00:06:47,782 --> 00:06:51,536
zero-fucks-given,
sorry-not-sorry video response
211
00:06:51,536 --> 00:06:53,580
to the leaked Kali sex tape
212
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:55,415
is borderline revolutionary."
213
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:56,875
Ahh.
214
00:06:56,875 --> 00:06:58,376
"Everyone should take a knee
and listen," man.
215
00:06:58,376 --> 00:06:59,711
Kaepernick.
216
00:06:59,711 --> 00:07:01,129
Hey, you know who
wrote that shit?
217
00:07:01,129 --> 00:07:02,589
- Who?
- Nelson fucking--
218
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:04,466
Mandela.
Youngblood.
219
00:07:04,466 --> 00:07:06,092
Huh?
220
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:07,802
He dead; and that
motherfucker's a perv.
221
00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:10,972
Floyd, Balls, Malcolm.
222
00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:14,100
Would you mind if I took a
moment with the man of the hour?
223
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:22,609
I'm proud of you, kid.
224
00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:23,943
Why?
225
00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:25,320
Because you stood up
for yourself.
226
00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:26,696
You took a stand.
227
00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:28,490
You sprinted down
the road not taken
228
00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:30,241
like Jesse Owens
in the face of Hitler.
229
00:07:30,241 --> 00:07:31,826
It's inspiring.
230
00:07:31,826 --> 00:07:33,828
Thanks, I guess.
231
00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:35,288
I need to be
in business with you.
232
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:36,831
You were in business with me.
233
00:07:36,831 --> 00:07:37,957
Twice.
234
00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:39,376
Fuck Angry Black.
235
00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:41,753
Fuck Untitled
Interracial Rom-Com,
236
00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:43,505
which I'm beginning to think
is frankly cursed.
237
00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:46,174
I would like to
build a show around you, Floyd.
238
00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:50,011
Your sensibility,
your comic point of view.
239
00:07:50,011 --> 00:07:53,014
The tale of a young man
rising phoenix-like
240
00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:54,432
from the ashes of the ghetto.
241
00:07:54,432 --> 00:07:55,850
What do you think?
242
00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:58,103
I was never
in the fuckin' ghetto.
243
00:07:58,103 --> 00:07:59,354
Really?
244
00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:02,440
nigga, no.
245
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:03,858
Hmm.
246
00:08:03,858 --> 00:08:06,653
You are smarter
than you look, Floyd.
247
00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:07,696
Racist says what?
248
00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:08,571
What?
249
00:08:08,571 --> 00:08:10,782
Exactly.
250
00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:12,617
Well, a "no"
before an eventual "yes"
251
00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:14,369
almost always sweetens the deal.
252
00:08:14,369 --> 00:08:17,163
Well played, sir.
Very well played.
253
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:19,124
Peter, you're not
hearing my words.
254
00:08:19,124 --> 00:08:20,333
- Mm.
- I don't want to work with you
255
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:22,377
in this lifetime
or the next.
256
00:08:22,377 --> 00:08:23,628
You want to know why?
257
00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:26,631
'Cause you're fuckin' insane!
258
00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:28,049
God, you're good, Floyd.
259
00:08:28,049 --> 00:08:29,467
I'll be in touch.
260
00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:31,428
You should come
for dinner again.
261
00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:33,346
You could bring Sadie this time.
262
00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:35,598
Au revoir, my ebony prince.
263
00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:38,017
Oh, my G--
Ugh!
264
00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:41,688
- Ugh.
- What was that about?
265
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:43,273
That was a pass.
266
00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:44,858
We'll see about that.
267
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,735
But in the meantime,
Jamie Foxx's assistant AJ called
268
00:08:46,735 --> 00:08:48,611
and he wants to meet
with you tomorrow.
269
00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:50,989
Oh, yeah?
About what?
270
00:08:50,989 --> 00:08:53,158
I didn't ask.
I just thought you'd be excited.
271
00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:56,494
You know, you don't ask
many questions, do you, Malcolm?
272
00:08:56,494 --> 00:08:58,997
Nah, I love surprises.
Don't you?
273
00:08:58,997 --> 00:09:01,416
♪ Kool & The Gang's
"Hollywood Swinging" ♪
274
00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:03,877
♪ Hollywood ♪
275
00:09:05,170 --> 00:09:06,755
♪ Hollywood swinging ♪
276
00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:10,049
♪ Uh-huh huh huh ♪
277
00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:12,343
This character
is gonna move mountains.
278
00:09:12,343 --> 00:09:15,263
His name is Mugu Guk-Guk Ali.
279
00:09:15,263 --> 00:09:17,515
He was the first man
280
00:09:17,515 --> 00:09:20,226
to stand up against
female circumcision.
281
00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:22,979
I mean, a real feminist.
A hero.
282
00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:24,564
Obviously.
283
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,399
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
284
00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:27,609
Hairline.
285
00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:29,235
- What?
- I said hairline.
286
00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:30,612
What do you think I should
do with my hairline?
287
00:09:30,612 --> 00:09:32,280
Huh? What do you think
Mooney?
288
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:33,907
Should I go with this
or a period?
289
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:35,450
- What do you think?
- I--Foxx...
290
00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:37,202
I-I don't--I leave that
to the professionals, man.
291
00:09:37,202 --> 00:09:38,578
I don't know shit
about that,
292
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:40,580
you know...
293
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:41,998
Man, youse a bad
294
00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:43,082
- motherfucker, boy.
- Er...
295
00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:44,042
I loves you, Mooney.
296
00:09:44,042 --> 00:09:45,585
Oh, man, look...
297
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,045
I like how you
298
00:09:47,045 --> 00:09:48,713
- handle yourself, Mooney.
- Oh, yeah?
299
00:09:48,713 --> 00:09:50,465
Then why'd you cut me
outta the movie?
300
00:09:50,465 --> 00:09:53,384
I did not cut you
out of the movie, Mooney.
301
00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:57,889
I just wanted you to think
that I cut you out the movie.
302
00:09:57,889 --> 00:10:00,058
See, to me, you cheated.
303
00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:02,227
You got hype, viral video,
304
00:10:02,227 --> 00:10:04,020
you blew up, whatever.
305
00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:06,564
Now, you're in some
hot water...
306
00:10:06,564 --> 00:10:08,775
over another viral video,
right?
307
00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:10,610
But there's a silver linin'.
Mm-hmm.
308
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:11,986
There's a silver linin'.
309
00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:13,279
And I'm not splittin'
hairs here.
310
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:14,989
The girl Kali
is the one!
311
00:10:14,989 --> 00:10:16,616
- Tch...she--
- Huh?
312
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:19,077
She is like a chocolate
Jessica Rabbit.
313
00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:20,286
- She's a great girl.
- Right?
314
00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:21,621
Yeah.
315
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,665
You--I mean, she's,
to me, is--
316
00:10:23,665 --> 00:10:26,626
Whoa! Sorry, bro.
In your space.
317
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,461
- Anyway...
- Yeah, you...
318
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:30,672
- Gotta ask yourself, Mooney...
- Actin' real Japanese.
319
00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:32,549
Is that your girl now?
320
00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:34,592
Ha. I--
Man, I don't know, I--
321
00:10:34,592 --> 00:10:36,845
You know, I don't ask questions.
322
00:10:36,845 --> 00:10:38,596
That's what I love
323
00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:40,974
about you, Mooney!
324
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,809
You're a rabble-rouser!
325
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,394
You know?
And that's why
326
00:10:44,394 --> 00:10:46,479
I want to offer you
327
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:47,772
another movie.
328
00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:49,315
I'm listenin'.
329
00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:52,193
72 Hours.
It's a action-comedy.
330
00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:54,737
Me and a couple'a other
blockbuster motherfuckers,
331
00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:56,364
along with you--
you bring that youth--
332
00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:58,032
- we gonna turn this shit out.
- Word!
333
00:10:58,032 --> 00:11:00,159
So, like...so like 48 Hours.
334
00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:01,953
No! 72 Hours.
335
00:11:01,953 --> 00:11:03,454
Because we gonna need
72 hours
336
00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:05,290
to do the dope shit
that we wanna do.
337
00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:07,208
- Gotcha. Gotcha.
- So, you ready to rap
338
00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:08,793
- with the monster trucks?
- Yeah!
339
00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:10,503
Huh? Huh? You ready to go
to a Super Bowl
340
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:12,255
- with this shit?
- You know what, Foxx?
341
00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:13,548
You always say the same thing
twice but two different ways.
342
00:11:13,548 --> 00:11:15,008
Yes, nigger, yes.
343
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:16,676
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Look, Atlanta, baby.
344
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:17,969
Mm-hmm!
345
00:11:17,969 --> 00:11:19,846
You ever been to Atl,
Atlanta?
346
00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:22,140
- Get some peaches on your nuts.
- I been there.
347
00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:23,766
- Yeah.
- Yeah. One of the highest
348
00:11:23,766 --> 00:11:26,060
- HIV rates in America.
- That's great for us,
349
00:11:26,060 --> 00:11:29,230
because we can shoot in HIV
or HD--it doesn't matter.
350
00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:31,024
I know we gonna get
a good rebate.
351
00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:32,775
Now, get your black ass
outta here
352
00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:35,028
with your superstar ass.
You 'bout to blow up, baby.
353
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:37,405
Big-time star!
354
00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:39,699
My wretched loins!
355
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:42,744
I hence-st hold...
356
00:11:42,744 --> 00:11:46,080
Squeeze thy
wrrr-etched loins
357
00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:48,374
from thine!
358
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:50,043
My wretched loins!
359
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:52,420
Thy shit!
360
00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:55,173
Tell my barber to come in here
and cut my Goddamn head!
361
00:11:55,173 --> 00:11:57,425
♪ upbeat pop music ♪
362
00:11:57,425 --> 00:11:59,344
Floyd!
363
00:12:02,013 --> 00:12:04,140
What up, Teddy?
I came as soon as I...
364
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:05,183
...could.
365
00:12:05,183 --> 00:12:07,060
Drink up.
Salud.
366
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:08,394
What we drinking to?
367
00:12:08,394 --> 00:12:10,188
Ah, just shut up
and feel the burn.
368
00:12:12,774 --> 00:12:14,108
Ah.
369
00:12:15,944 --> 00:12:19,155
Great news.
We got the financing.
370
00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:21,157
- We're making Angry Black.
- Oh, cool!
371
00:12:21,157 --> 00:12:22,867
- When?
- ASAP.
372
00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:24,452
I got a window right now,
and we gotta do it
373
00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:26,329
before the window
closes up on me.
374
00:12:26,329 --> 00:12:27,497
I-I'm gonna be honest.
375
00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:28,957
Okay, it's not a lotta money.
376
00:12:28,957 --> 00:12:30,291
Okay, and when I say
not a lot
377
00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:31,793
I mean it's nothing up front.
378
00:12:31,793 --> 00:12:34,045
You'd probably do better
driving a fuckin' Uber.
379
00:12:34,045 --> 00:12:35,421
Okay, but it's gonna pay off
380
00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:37,674
in the long run,
come awards season.
381
00:12:37,674 --> 00:12:40,259
Okay? And you can cash in
and so some big shitty movie
382
00:12:40,259 --> 00:12:43,846
and wipe your ass with
all the green you're gonna make.
383
00:12:43,846 --> 00:12:44,973
What's the matter?
384
00:12:44,973 --> 00:12:46,683
Here's the thing, Teddy, um,
385
00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:48,393
I already got offered
a big, shitty movie.
386
00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:49,769
- What?
- Yeah.
387
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,479
It's a Jamie Foxx thing.
388
00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:52,855
What the fuck--
389
00:12:52,855 --> 00:12:54,232
Come on, man.
Don't get mad.
390
00:12:54,232 --> 00:12:55,942
No, I'm not mad.
Why would I be mad?
391
00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:57,443
- You fuckin' handjob.
- Cool.
392
00:12:57,443 --> 00:12:59,362
I'm fucking furious, Floyd!
393
00:12:59,362 --> 00:13:02,240
I mean, who was your friend
when no one else was?
394
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:03,783
Who's always had your back?
Me!
395
00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:05,201
And this is how
you fuckin' repay me?
396
00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:06,828
You fuckin' cocksucker.
397
00:13:06,828 --> 00:13:09,455
You know, if you had a pool,
I'd shit in it right now!
398
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:11,082
Fuckin' backstabber.
399
00:13:11,082 --> 00:13:12,875
Fuckin' big-nose creep.
400
00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:14,961
♪ bass music ♪
401
00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:18,339
I know, but, Balls,
business is fuckin' business.
402
00:13:18,339 --> 00:13:20,299
And this is the type of shit
I've been waiting for
403
00:13:20,299 --> 00:13:23,219
ever since Hollywood came
a-callin' the first place.
404
00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:25,096
Big action-comedy.
405
00:13:25,096 --> 00:13:28,933
Me doing the Eddie Murphy shit
I've always wanted to do.
406
00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:31,728
Time's gonna come, motherfucker,
when you gotta make a decision.
407
00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:33,396
And you know what?
408
00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:35,231
You gonna do the right thing.
409
00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:37,483
- How could you be so sure?
- 'Cause I know things, man.
410
00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:39,318
I'm Nigga-damus, nigga.
411
00:13:39,318 --> 00:13:40,528
Balls.
412
00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:42,196
Esther, girl.
413
00:13:42,196 --> 00:13:44,907
- Floyd.
- What up with you, foodie girl?
414
00:13:44,907 --> 00:13:46,993
Oh, my God,
shit has been so crazy.
415
00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:48,453
Just so much drama.
416
00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:50,413
I got into a big fight
with my investor
417
00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:52,290
and quit the restaurant.
418
00:13:52,290 --> 00:13:54,375
And I finally got
my food truck up and running.
419
00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:56,294
Then an ex came back
out of the woodwork
420
00:13:56,294 --> 00:13:57,962
and, you know,
the business of life.
421
00:13:57,962 --> 00:13:59,714
Yeah, yeah.
422
00:13:59,714 --> 00:14:01,132
Yeah.
423
00:14:01,132 --> 00:14:03,259
So, uh, what can I
get for you guys?
424
00:14:03,259 --> 00:14:05,803
Oh, yeah, shit, uh,
what's good?
425
00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:08,723
What's not good?
426
00:14:08,723 --> 00:14:10,099
Um, you know what?
427
00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:11,476
Lemme make something
for you guys.
428
00:14:11,476 --> 00:14:12,935
Have a seat.
429
00:14:12,935 --> 00:14:14,520
I'll have one of
the guys bring it out.
430
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:15,396
- Okay. Thank you.
- Yeah.
431
00:14:15,396 --> 00:14:17,482
Cool.
432
00:14:17,482 --> 00:14:18,858
What the fuck was that shit?
433
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:19,901
What?
434
00:14:19,901 --> 00:14:22,028
You clammed up.
435
00:14:22,028 --> 00:14:24,322
No, man, she blew me off.
It was awkward.
436
00:14:24,322 --> 00:14:27,158
'Cause you made it awkward.
She seemed friendly as shit.
437
00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:28,868
Man, you heard what she said.
438
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:30,119
She said some ex came out of
the fucking woodwork.
439
00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:31,537
So what?
You're Balls.
440
00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:33,206
You're better than
any ex will ever be.
441
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:35,333
I admire her talent, man,
but sometimes it's best
442
00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:37,168
just to leave it at that.
Just be a fan.
443
00:14:37,168 --> 00:14:39,879
You can be a fan
and still get some ass.
444
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:42,465
Check it out.
445
00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:43,549
Mm-hmm.
446
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:47,178
Shhhh...
447
00:14:47,178 --> 00:14:48,888
Go talk to her.
448
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:51,557
- Nah. Nah, man.
- Why?
449
00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:53,226
Look, it was really nice
getting to know her,
450
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:54,560
but she's not interested.
451
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:56,229
Sometimes it's
just better to have
452
00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:57,814
the memory of some good times
and some good food.
453
00:14:57,814 --> 00:14:59,273
Balls, you as smart
as a motherfucker,
454
00:14:59,273 --> 00:15:01,025
but sometimes you dumb as shit.
455
00:15:01,025 --> 00:15:02,944
Man, look, sometimes
you gotta push through
456
00:15:02,944 --> 00:15:05,071
all that negative shit
to get to something good.
457
00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:07,698
It's like stand-up.
You risk death every time.
458
00:15:07,698 --> 00:15:09,200
Sometimes it's torture.
459
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:11,035
Sometimes it's glorious.
460
00:15:11,035 --> 00:15:15,706
Why don't you fuckin'
get some fuckin' glory for once?
461
00:15:15,706 --> 00:15:16,916
- A'ight.
- A'ight?
462
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,918
Mm-mm-mm-mm!
463
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,211
All right.
464
00:15:22,380 --> 00:15:24,924
My nigga.
465
00:15:34,892 --> 00:15:37,019
Okay.
Thanks.
466
00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:38,563
Bye.
467
00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:41,232
Fuck!
468
00:15:41,232 --> 00:15:43,734
Oh, no.
What I do this time?
469
00:15:43,734 --> 00:15:45,653
You know what?
For once, it wasn't you.
470
00:15:45,653 --> 00:15:46,988
Oh, really?
471
00:15:46,988 --> 00:15:48,573
I just got off
with Kali's manager.
472
00:15:48,573 --> 00:15:50,992
Oh, yeah,
I know that creepy guy.
473
00:15:50,992 --> 00:15:52,702
I just got an opportunity
474
00:15:52,702 --> 00:15:54,579
to go on tour with her
475
00:15:54,579 --> 00:15:57,081
and sing backup
and write with her.
476
00:15:57,081 --> 00:15:59,458
Sadie, that's amazing.
That's incredible!
477
00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:01,419
It's impossible is what it is.
478
00:16:01,419 --> 00:16:03,129
- Why you say that?
- You know why.
479
00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:05,548
Who's gonna look after Trevor?
480
00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:11,012
I am.
481
00:16:11,012 --> 00:16:14,015
♪ soft music ♪
482
00:16:14,015 --> 00:16:15,099
Floyd.
483
00:16:15,099 --> 00:16:16,642
What?
484
00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:17,935
- Come on.
- Hear me out.
485
00:16:17,935 --> 00:16:19,478
Okay, hear me out, all right?
486
00:16:19,478 --> 00:16:21,189
You been waiting for
an opportunity like this
487
00:16:21,189 --> 00:16:23,858
your whole life.
Your whole life!
488
00:16:23,858 --> 00:16:26,444
I'm not just gonna sit here
and let you pass that up.
489
00:16:26,444 --> 00:16:28,529
Girl, you better go on the road.
490
00:16:28,529 --> 00:16:30,656
Floyd, that's really sweet,
491
00:16:30,656 --> 00:16:32,950
but do you understand
what that means?
492
00:16:32,950 --> 00:16:35,161
How much work that is?
493
00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:37,955
It doesn't leave much space
for personal career stuff.
494
00:16:37,955 --> 00:16:40,291
Shit.
495
00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:41,959
What else I gotta do?
496
00:16:45,129 --> 00:16:47,131
I'll think about it, okay?
497
00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:48,966
But thank you.
498
00:16:48,966 --> 00:16:51,010
You're welcome, but you're
not gonna think about it.
499
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:53,763
You're gonna go.
500
00:16:53,763 --> 00:16:55,306
Go.
501
00:17:03,606 --> 00:17:05,066
That's Robbie.
502
00:17:05,066 --> 00:17:06,692
That Jeremy Meeks-looking
motherfucker
503
00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:09,779
always ruins our nice moments,
you notice that?
504
00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:12,073
It's just dinner.
I'll be back soon.
505
00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:13,783
Take your time.
506
00:17:13,783 --> 00:17:15,660
At least you got
something to celebrate.
507
00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:20,248
Maybe.
508
00:17:20,248 --> 00:17:22,083
Thank you, Floyd.
509
00:17:22,083 --> 00:17:23,668
Don't thank me.
510
00:17:23,668 --> 00:17:25,336
It's you and your talent
that got you here.
511
00:17:25,336 --> 00:17:26,545
Okay?
512
00:17:26,545 --> 00:17:29,257
Ain't no "maybe."
513
00:17:29,257 --> 00:17:33,010
Go out.
Have some fun.
514
00:17:33,010 --> 00:17:35,179
But not too much fun.
515
00:17:35,179 --> 00:17:36,847
And you might want to think
about breaking it off with him.
516
00:17:36,847 --> 00:17:38,391
- Okay.
- You going on the road now.
517
00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:40,059
You wanna keep
your options open.
518
00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:51,445
Are you being serious right now?
519
00:17:51,445 --> 00:17:53,447
100 percent.
520
00:17:53,447 --> 00:17:55,783
We're talking six figures
and a great part in a big movie.
521
00:17:55,783 --> 00:17:58,160
Are you absolutely sure
you wanna pass?
522
00:17:59,537 --> 00:18:01,789
♪ tender piano music ♪
523
00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:03,874
Damn sure.
524
00:18:03,874 --> 00:18:05,584
Okay.
525
00:18:05,584 --> 00:18:07,253
You're being surprisingly
cool about this, Malcolm.
526
00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:09,255
Yeah, well, finally
made peace with the fact
527
00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:12,091
that representing you
is a thankless, punishing task,
528
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,884
and, um...
529
00:18:13,884 --> 00:18:15,595
I'm high as fuck right now.
530
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:17,555
Um, either way,
531
00:18:17,555 --> 00:18:19,557
I remain your humble servant.
532
00:18:19,557 --> 00:18:21,392
All right, man,
I'll get at you.
533
00:18:25,688 --> 00:18:27,606
Here you go.
534
00:18:40,578 --> 00:18:41,620
Hey, what's up?
535
00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:43,539
The deal go away?
536
00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:46,250
No, it's not that.
537
00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:48,753
What's wrong?
538
00:18:48,753 --> 00:18:51,672
I was at dinner with Robbie,
539
00:18:51,672 --> 00:18:55,301
and that crazy fucking nanny
showed up.
540
00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:56,260
Gwen?
541
00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:57,678
Gwen.
542
00:18:57,678 --> 00:18:59,638
- Oh.
- Yeah, "oh."
543
00:18:59,638 --> 00:19:02,099
She had a pretty interesting
story to tell.
544
00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:03,392
I bet she did.
545
00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:04,810
Why didn't you tell me?
546
00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:06,729
I almost did, but--
547
00:19:06,729 --> 00:19:08,272
Wow, that shows
548
00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:10,983
admirable restraint
and maturity, Floyd.
549
00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:12,610
I thought so.
550
00:19:12,610 --> 00:19:14,278
God, it must have killed you
not to tell me.
551
00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:16,530
You have no idea.
552
00:19:16,530 --> 00:19:19,700
But I'm sad
to see you bummed out.
553
00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:21,369
Well, that's the thing, like,
554
00:19:21,369 --> 00:19:25,706
when it happened,
I was kinda... happy?
555
00:19:25,706 --> 00:19:26,916
Happy?
556
00:19:26,916 --> 00:19:28,501
- Yeah.
- Why?
557
00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:30,628
- Because it wasn't gonna last.
- Mm.
558
00:19:30,628 --> 00:19:32,630
And I knew it.
559
00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:37,051
And then here came this perfect
opportunity to end it, so...
560
00:19:37,051 --> 00:19:39,678
Also, he's a little too metro
for me, you know?
561
00:19:39,678 --> 00:19:41,680
Like, just spent way
too much time in the mirror.
562
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:43,933
Yeah, bet he was
a real shitty lay too, right?
563
00:19:43,933 --> 00:19:46,060
No, no, we had great sex.
564
00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:47,853
Yeah, but I mean,
I bet you he was...
565
00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:50,731
he was just a little selfish
in the sack, though, right?
566
00:19:50,731 --> 00:19:52,525
No, no, no,
he was very generous.
567
00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:54,402
- Very generous, yeah.
- Oh--
568
00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:56,987
It was almost like he
preferred giving to receiving.
569
00:19:56,987 --> 00:19:58,697
I don't know if
my body's changing,
570
00:19:58,697 --> 00:20:00,366
but I don't think I've
ever come like that before.
571
00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:02,076
Okay!
572
00:20:02,076 --> 00:20:04,912
God, seriously, stop.
You're making me fuckin' sick.
573
00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:06,747
Sorry I asked.
574
00:20:06,747 --> 00:20:09,333
Anyway, I was driving home
and Malcolm called me.
575
00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:11,168
- Motherfucker.
- He wanted to make sure
576
00:20:11,168 --> 00:20:13,921
I was aware of what
you were giving up for me.
577
00:20:13,921 --> 00:20:15,965
Motherfucker.
578
00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:18,342
He's a good agent, Floyd.
579
00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:20,678
An agent that
puts his client first.
580
00:20:20,678 --> 00:20:22,513
My nigga.
581
00:20:22,513 --> 00:20:25,057
Yeah.
582
00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:28,102
But are you absolutely sure
you wanna do this?
583
00:20:28,102 --> 00:20:30,604
We're in this thing together.
584
00:20:30,604 --> 00:20:33,190
Whether we end up
happily ever after or not,
585
00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:36,485
that's our kid.
586
00:20:36,485 --> 00:20:38,070
And...
587
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:39,447
And what?
588
00:20:39,447 --> 00:20:42,450
♪ soft tender music ♪
589
00:20:44,368 --> 00:20:45,953
I love you.
590
00:20:45,953 --> 00:20:48,038
I want what's best for you.
591
00:20:48,038 --> 00:20:50,207
And I want you to know
what it feels like
592
00:20:50,207 --> 00:20:52,793
to dream about something
your whole life
593
00:20:52,793 --> 00:20:54,712
and finally see
it start to happen.
594
00:20:54,712 --> 00:20:55,963
Oh--
595
00:20:55,963 --> 00:20:57,590
Mm--
596
00:21:00,050 --> 00:21:02,094
Wait--Are you sure
you wanna do this?
597
00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:03,721
Shut up and kiss me,
you fool.
598
00:21:03,721 --> 00:21:05,890
Ooh, we gonna make love.
599
00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:09,059
Are you trying to dry me out
right now?
600
00:21:09,059 --> 00:21:12,062
♪ R. Kelly's "Sadie" ♪
601
00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:22,114
♪ Early one Sunday mornin' ♪
602
00:21:24,408 --> 00:21:28,370
♪ Breakfast was on the table ♪
603
00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:34,043
♪ There was no time to eat ♪
604
00:21:34,043 --> 00:21:36,879
♪ She said to me ♪
605
00:21:36,879 --> 00:21:40,966
♪ Boy hurry to Sunday school ♪
606
00:21:40,966 --> 00:21:44,011
- ♪ Oh Sadie ♪
607
00:21:44,011 --> 00:21:49,350
♪ Don't you know we love
you sweet Sadie ♪
608
00:21:49,350 --> 00:21:51,977
♪ Place no one above you ♪
609
00:21:51,977 --> 00:21:54,688
♪ Sweet Sadie ♪
610
00:21:58,108 --> 00:22:00,528
Hello.
611
00:22:00,528 --> 00:22:02,446
Good morning.
612
00:22:02,446 --> 00:22:06,617
So I guess you want me
to get going before the boy...
613
00:22:08,744 --> 00:22:10,955
What's this all about?
614
00:22:13,624 --> 00:22:16,502
You boys want some breakfast,
or what?
615
00:22:16,502 --> 00:22:18,045
Sure.
616
00:22:18,045 --> 00:22:19,129
Yeah.
617
00:22:23,467 --> 00:22:26,762
Pancakes in my tummy,
they're gonna be so yummy.
618
00:22:26,762 --> 00:22:29,139
♪ Pancakes in my tummy ♪
619
00:22:29,139 --> 00:22:31,433
♪ Andra Day's "Rise Up" ♪
620
00:22:31,433 --> 00:22:35,396
♪ Livin' life on
the merry-go-round ♪
621
00:22:35,396 --> 00:22:39,358
♪ And you can't find
the fighter ♪
622
00:22:39,358 --> 00:22:42,570
♪ But I see it in you
so we gonna walk it out ♪
623
00:22:42,570 --> 00:22:45,364
- I'm gonna miss you so much.
- ♪ Mo-ooh-ooh-oove ♪
624
00:22:45,364 --> 00:22:47,074
Be good, okay?
625
00:22:47,074 --> 00:22:49,785
Okay. - ♪ Mountains ♪
626
00:22:49,785 --> 00:22:51,287
♪ We gonna walk it out ♪
627
00:22:51,287 --> 00:22:56,125
♪ And mo-ooh-ooh-ove ♪
628
00:22:56,125 --> 00:22:58,377
♪ Mountains ♪
629
00:22:58,377 --> 00:23:01,380
♪ And I'll rise up,
I'll rise... ♪
630
00:23:01,380 --> 00:23:04,258
No more thank yous.
631
00:23:04,258 --> 00:23:06,260
Get out there
and knock 'em dead, kid.
632
00:23:06,260 --> 00:23:08,971
♪ I'll rise up ♪
633
00:23:08,971 --> 00:23:10,472
♪ And I'll do it... ♪
634
00:23:10,472 --> 00:23:13,058
- I love you.
- Me too.
635
00:23:14,810 --> 00:23:17,062
♪ And I'll rise up ♪
636
00:23:17,062 --> 00:23:18,772
♪ I'll rise like the day ♪
637
00:23:18,772 --> 00:23:20,733
♪ I'll rise up ♪
638
00:23:20,733 --> 00:23:23,027
♪ I'll rise unafraid ♪
639
00:23:23,027 --> 00:23:24,653
♪ I'll rise up ♪
640
00:23:26,488 --> 00:23:30,200
♪ And I'll do it
a thousand times again ♪
641
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:38,250
♪ For you-hoo-ooh ♪
642
00:23:38,250 --> 00:23:41,754
♪ For you-ooh-ooh ♪
643
00:23:45,382 --> 00:23:46,925
♪ chorus vocalizing ♪
644
00:23:51,639 --> 00:23:53,265
- Shoot him.
- I can't! I have to find
645
00:23:53,265 --> 00:23:54,600
- a.
- Shoot him.
646
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:55,934
It's open.
647
00:23:55,934 --> 00:23:57,811
How am I gonna--
648
00:23:57,811 --> 00:23:59,897
Oh...
649
00:23:59,897 --> 00:24:02,149
...snap now.
650
00:24:02,149 --> 00:24:04,526
Oh, snap.
Okay.
651
00:24:04,526 --> 00:24:07,321
Hey, I'm diggin'
this whole thing right here.
652
00:24:07,321 --> 00:24:08,572
It's really making me smile.
653
00:24:08,572 --> 00:24:10,032
Y'all got like a...
got like a
654
00:24:10,032 --> 00:24:12,284
"Rick James, Teena Marie" vibe
going on.
655
00:24:12,284 --> 00:24:15,371
Uncle Balls,
is this your girlfriend?
656
00:24:15,371 --> 00:24:16,664
Uhh...
657
00:24:16,664 --> 00:24:18,666
Yeah, yes.
658
00:24:18,666 --> 00:24:21,001
I am his girlfriend.
659
00:24:21,001 --> 00:24:22,461
You hit the jackpot.
660
00:24:22,461 --> 00:24:23,921
Awesome.
661
00:24:23,921 --> 00:24:26,298
Show me to the kitchen?
662
00:24:26,298 --> 00:24:27,925
We're making some dinner
for you, kid.
663
00:24:27,925 --> 00:24:30,302
- Yeah, sure.
- Let's do it.
664
00:24:30,302 --> 00:24:31,637
Come on.
You lead the way.
665
00:24:31,637 --> 00:24:32,846
Do I see cookies?
666
00:24:32,846 --> 00:24:34,098
- Uh-huh.
- Yeah.
667
00:24:34,098 --> 00:24:35,557
- Uh-huh.
- Mm-hmm.
668
00:24:35,557 --> 00:24:37,434
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
669
00:24:37,434 --> 00:24:39,770
Okay.
670
00:24:39,770 --> 00:24:41,563
Hey, look, man,
I won't be too long.
671
00:24:41,563 --> 00:24:43,190
Hey, man, take as long
as you need, motherfucker.
672
00:24:43,190 --> 00:24:44,650
Just do your thing.
673
00:24:44,650 --> 00:24:46,151
You know what, Balls?
674
00:24:46,151 --> 00:24:47,778
Thank you.
675
00:24:47,778 --> 00:24:49,947
For everything big and small.
676
00:24:49,947 --> 00:24:51,365
I love you, motherfucker.
677
00:24:51,365 --> 00:24:53,075
I love you too, man.
678
00:24:57,871 --> 00:25:00,791
Hey, bring me back
some Krispy Kremes, man.
679
00:25:01,917 --> 00:25:03,502
But only if the light is on.
680
00:25:06,255 --> 00:25:08,090
I don't know
what it's gonna be--
681
00:25:08,090 --> 00:25:09,633
Somebody's gotta
teach you to read.
682
00:25:09,633 --> 00:25:11,176
It's a baguette.
683
00:25:13,679 --> 00:25:16,306
All right, one more time
for my girl Keisha, y'all.
684
00:25:16,306 --> 00:25:18,142
All right.
685
00:25:18,142 --> 00:25:20,310
Yo, hold up, man.
Hey, hold up!
686
00:25:20,310 --> 00:25:22,187
Oh, no, no, no, this
is my guy right here.
687
00:25:22,187 --> 00:25:23,647
- This is--excuse me...
- Oh, he good, let him in.
688
00:25:23,647 --> 00:25:24,857
- Yes, thank you.
- Let him in.
689
00:25:24,857 --> 00:25:25,899
Thank you.
Fuck off.
690
00:25:25,899 --> 00:25:27,234
Shit.
691
00:25:27,234 --> 00:25:28,444
You didn't have to come, man.
692
00:25:28,444 --> 00:25:29,945
Of course I did.
693
00:25:29,945 --> 00:25:31,530
You haven't done this
in a while.
694
00:25:31,530 --> 00:25:33,240
Shit, you might
fucking bomb up there,
695
00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:35,033
and that would be
way too much fun to miss.
696
00:25:35,033 --> 00:25:37,494
Not even gonna lie, man,
I'm nervous as shit right now.
697
00:25:37,494 --> 00:25:38,996
That's good.
Yeah-yeah-yeah.
698
00:25:38,996 --> 00:25:40,748
You never wanna lose
those butterflies, okay?
699
00:25:40,748 --> 00:25:42,374
That's what my creepy uncle
used to tell me
700
00:25:42,374 --> 00:25:44,209
right before he used to
put his dick
701
00:25:44,209 --> 00:25:45,878
right on my shoulder.
702
00:25:45,878 --> 00:25:47,755
You know what I mean?
Anyway.
703
00:25:47,755 --> 00:25:50,048
Look, I hope it's all right,
but I invited someone down.
704
00:25:50,048 --> 00:25:51,675
Oh.
705
00:25:51,675 --> 00:25:53,469
There's a lot of fuckin'
snapper in here tonight.
706
00:25:53,469 --> 00:25:56,180
Listen, Floyd,
I'm here because I'm sorry
707
00:25:56,180 --> 00:25:58,182
and I was out of line.
708
00:25:58,182 --> 00:25:59,850
You know what, Teddy?
I probably would have done
709
00:25:59,850 --> 00:26:01,560
the same thing
if I was in your position.
710
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:03,145
I wouldn't have
flipped over a table or nothing,
711
00:26:03,145 --> 00:26:04,980
but, you know,
I understand what was behind it.
712
00:26:04,980 --> 00:26:06,690
Well, turns out you did
the right thing, right?
713
00:26:06,690 --> 00:26:08,859
Yeah, we'll see.
Got the camera, huh?
714
00:26:08,859 --> 00:26:10,152
Yeah, well,
I'm gonna film your set.
715
00:26:10,152 --> 00:26:12,112
And I'm gonna keep filming you.
716
00:26:12,112 --> 00:26:14,364
And we're gonna turn this
into a killer comedy special.
717
00:26:14,364 --> 00:26:16,200
Okay? Something with
cinematic scope
718
00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:19,036
and vision and heart and
something that's funny as fuck.
719
00:26:19,036 --> 00:26:20,537
All right, you-you're Rocky;
720
00:26:20,537 --> 00:26:22,122
and I'm Burgess fucking Meredith
721
00:26:22,122 --> 00:26:23,707
and I'm gonna make you
go the distance.
722
00:26:23,707 --> 00:26:25,125
Can we do that?
723
00:26:25,125 --> 00:26:26,418
Teddy, that's the best idea
I heard
724
00:26:26,418 --> 00:26:28,086
in a fuckin' long time, man.
725
00:26:28,086 --> 00:26:29,880
Yeah, well, as much as
I hate to admit it,
726
00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:32,466
uh, it was this guy's idea.
727
00:26:32,466 --> 00:26:33,759
Motherfucker.
728
00:26:33,759 --> 00:26:35,219
- Hmm.
- Hey, kick ass.
729
00:26:35,219 --> 00:26:36,220
I'ma go get set up.
730
00:26:36,220 --> 00:26:37,721
Coming through!
731
00:26:37,721 --> 00:26:39,264
Filmmaker coming through!
Watch out, lady.
732
00:26:39,264 --> 00:26:41,391
This next guy,
he and I go way back.
733
00:26:41,391 --> 00:26:43,894
We used to drive hours
to do $50 spots.
734
00:26:43,894 --> 00:26:45,938
Put your hands together
for Floyd Mooney.
735
00:26:49,733 --> 00:26:52,486
Show 'em how it's done.
736
00:26:52,486 --> 00:26:55,239
Come on,
motherfucker, let's go.
737
00:27:04,414 --> 00:27:07,000
Wow.
738
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:09,044
I ain't been up here
in a long time.
739
00:27:09,044 --> 00:27:10,754
I ain't gonna lie,
740
00:27:10,754 --> 00:27:12,464
I'm a little fuckin' rusty.
741
00:27:12,464 --> 00:27:14,675
I ain't got nobody
to blame but myself.
742
00:27:14,675 --> 00:27:16,844
Hollywood came knocking.
743
00:27:16,844 --> 00:27:18,303
And I got distracted.
744
00:27:18,303 --> 00:27:20,430
I been doing some acting,
you know.
745
00:27:20,430 --> 00:27:23,141
Movies. TV pilots.
746
00:27:23,141 --> 00:27:25,185
Music videos.
Sex tapes.
747
00:27:25,185 --> 00:27:27,062
Yeah, don't ask.
748
00:27:27,062 --> 00:27:28,105
Don't ask, don't ask...
749
00:27:29,523 --> 00:27:31,233
See, my agent,
750
00:27:31,233 --> 00:27:33,986
he's all about trying to
make me "white famous."
751
00:27:33,986 --> 00:27:36,196
But that shit comes with
a big fucking price tag.
752
00:27:36,196 --> 00:27:37,865
And I'm trying man, but
753
00:27:37,865 --> 00:27:42,286
one thing I learned that
I think I knew already...
754
00:27:42,286 --> 00:27:44,496
Caucasians be fucking crazy!
755
00:27:44,496 --> 00:27:47,040
What the fuck, man?
756
00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:48,667
They crazy as shit.
757
00:27:48,667 --> 00:27:50,460
And back to my-my-my topic,
758
00:27:50,460 --> 00:27:52,087
I can't believe Verizon man
switched to Sprint.
759
00:27:52,087 --> 00:27:53,714
What the fuck was wrong
with his ass?
760
00:27:53,714 --> 00:27:55,465
You never seen a death metal
concert before?
761
00:27:55,465 --> 00:27:57,384
That shit crazy as a bitch.
White people need Jesus.
762
00:27:57,384 --> 00:27:59,970
African dudes be aggressive
as hell trying to get a girl.
763
00:27:59,970 --> 00:28:03,307
"Listen. Listen. I.
Want. To. Be. Your. Boyfriend.
764
00:28:03,307 --> 00:28:06,184
I don't give a fuck
if your ex has a house key.
765
00:28:06,184 --> 00:28:08,145
Fuck him!"
766
00:28:10,355 --> 00:28:14,067
♪ soft, uplifting music ♪
767
00:28:18,906 --> 00:28:20,782
♪ Action Bronson's
"Brand New Car" ♪
768
00:28:20,782 --> 00:28:23,702
- ♪ I got a brand new car ♪
- New car?
769
00:28:23,702 --> 00:28:27,122
♪ I got a jazz guitar ♪
770
00:28:27,122 --> 00:28:29,124
Welcome, everybody.
771
00:28:29,124 --> 00:28:31,460
Uh.
Yeah.
772
00:28:31,460 --> 00:28:34,421
♪ Thank you a lot for coming
it means a lot to me ♪
773
00:28:34,421 --> 00:28:37,132
♪ Steer the yacht with my knee
plenty of botany ♪
774
00:28:37,132 --> 00:28:40,302
♪ Damn bad chick on top of me
pornography ♪
775
00:28:40,302 --> 00:28:43,263
♪ And I know she only want me
for my guap-ery ♪
776
00:28:43,263 --> 00:28:45,474
♪ It's the first time ever ♪
777
00:28:45,474 --> 00:28:49,186
♪ Yo fuck this jacket I turn
this shit to 85 napkins ♪
778
00:28:49,186 --> 00:28:51,396
♪ Since Jeter's done
I'm now the captain ♪
779
00:28:51,396 --> 00:28:53,982
♪ Trust you me
Gotham's safer now ♪
780
00:28:53,982 --> 00:28:55,984
♪ But there's always
a new joker in town ♪
781
00:28:55,984 --> 00:28:57,361
♪ Ready to smoke you
with that pound ♪
782
00:28:57,361 --> 00:28:59,404
♪ But when he shoot it ♪
783
00:28:59,404 --> 00:29:01,323
♪ The flag says "Bang"
and everybody laughs ♪
784
00:29:01,323 --> 00:29:03,533
♪ He must be up
and off the molly tabs ♪
785
00:29:03,533 --> 00:29:07,037
♪ I'm by the bar lookin' Swedish
in the trench coat stupid ♪
786
00:29:07,037 --> 00:29:10,290
♪ The only one drinkin'
mango lassi in the bullpen ♪
787
00:29:10,290 --> 00:29:13,210
♪ My lips are sealed like
the singer with bad skin ♪
788
00:29:13,210 --> 00:29:15,837
♪ My need for speed
made the Jag spin ♪
789
00:29:15,837 --> 00:29:19,091
♪ Dog, I'll resurrect
Freaky Tah to do my ad-libs ♪
790
00:29:19,091 --> 00:29:21,301
♪ Overseas
I pro'lly got mad kids ♪
791
00:29:21,301 --> 00:29:24,221
♪ That I don't even know about
you better slow down ♪
55934
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