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1
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:06,757
Yo, homies,
here's what's been happening
2
00:00:06,757 --> 00:00:08,008
on White Famous.
3
00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:09,510
Floyd, this is Kali.
We've been
4
00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:10,719
writing together
on her new album.
5
00:00:10,719 --> 00:00:12,304
This is Trevor's dad, Floyd.
6
00:00:12,304 --> 00:00:14,014
Yeah, I know
who Trevor's dad Floyd is.
7
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:15,432
So what, Sadie's been
talking about me, huh?
8
00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:17,142
I saw you down
at the J-Spot.
9
00:00:17,142 --> 00:00:18,602
You don't even know
who I am, do you?
10
00:00:18,602 --> 00:00:20,812
Yeah, I do.
You're Kali. I just met you.
11
00:00:20,812 --> 00:00:22,064
But you don't know
what I do.
12
00:00:22,064 --> 00:00:23,565
Huge fan.
13
00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:24,942
Pleasure to make
your acquaintance.
14
00:00:24,942 --> 00:00:26,485
Your voice speaks to my soul.
15
00:00:26,485 --> 00:00:28,570
If you don't mind,
maybe don't go there.
16
00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:30,280
- How you mean?
- If she and I
17
00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:31,615
start working together,
it could get weird.
18
00:00:31,615 --> 00:00:33,575
- Come here.
- Mm.
19
00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:44,461
♪ upbeat music ♪
20
00:00:44,461 --> 00:00:46,213
She fuckin' ghosted on me,
Balls.
21
00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:47,589
Hell, serves you right,
motherfucker.
22
00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:49,091
Shit, how many women
have you ghosted
23
00:00:49,091 --> 00:00:50,884
- in your lifetime?
- Man, I know.
24
00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:53,011
But we had a good time.
Like, a real good time.
25
00:00:53,011 --> 00:00:55,514
So you're saying you actually
care about this girl.
26
00:00:55,514 --> 00:00:57,557
I don't know.
It--it's just rude.
27
00:00:57,557 --> 00:00:59,726
Oh, man, maybe she didn't
have such a good time.
28
00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:01,019
Nah, that's impossible.
29
00:01:01,019 --> 00:01:02,062
How do you know?
30
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,689
A guy just knows, Balls.
31
00:01:03,689 --> 00:01:05,440
Maybe you're sexually
incompatible, man.
32
00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:07,526
Now, see, now you're talking
some science fiction shit.
33
00:01:07,526 --> 00:01:09,319
I don't know.
Maybe she likes
34
00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:11,363
another level of dude,
like, movie star handsome.
35
00:01:11,363 --> 00:01:14,157
Who knows? Maybe you turned her
into a bean flickin' lesbo.
36
00:01:14,157 --> 00:01:15,701
I don't know!
37
00:01:15,701 --> 00:01:17,160
Why you coming down
so hard on me?
38
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:18,495
'Cause I'm in a funk, nigga.
39
00:01:20,706 --> 00:01:23,542
Fuckin' Teddy, man,
just keeps calling.
40
00:01:23,542 --> 00:01:24,751
And why you in a funk,
anyway, man?
41
00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:25,794
You're never in a funk.
42
00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:27,587
Greetings, me Negroes.
43
00:01:27,587 --> 00:01:29,506
You gave this motherfucker
a key?
44
00:01:29,506 --> 00:01:32,634
Yeah, man I got sick of him
knocking and waking me up.
45
00:01:32,634 --> 00:01:34,303
- Did you hear from Kali?
- No.
46
00:01:34,303 --> 00:01:35,929
Well, did you hear from Teddy?
47
00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:37,723
He keeps calling,
I keep not answering.
48
00:01:37,723 --> 00:01:39,725
Floyd, he wants to talk to you
about putting you
49
00:01:39,725 --> 00:01:41,601
in a new music video
he's directing.
50
00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:43,061
So that's what we
doing now, Malcolm?
51
00:01:43,061 --> 00:01:44,438
Fuckin' music videos?
52
00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:46,356
What's next, a snuff film?
53
00:01:46,356 --> 00:01:48,775
What you got me as a lead
in a Lifetime biopic?
54
00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:50,777
No, I could never get you
something that big.
55
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:53,363
Look, Teddy wants to
put you in a music video
56
00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:55,282
he's directing for Kali.
57
00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:57,242
- Oh.
- Yes, "Ow."
58
00:01:57,242 --> 00:01:59,036
Too bad you're not interested.
59
00:01:59,036 --> 00:02:00,620
- I didn't say that.
- No, I got another client.
60
00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:01,788
Nah, when's it going down?
When's it happening?
61
00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:03,290
When's it shooting?
62
00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:04,958
- Now.
- I'm on my way.
63
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:06,585
Balls, you coming with me?
64
00:02:06,585 --> 00:02:09,671
That is why I am a great agent.
65
00:02:09,671 --> 00:02:12,674
♪ hip-hop music ♪
66
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,182
So what am I
supposed to be doing
67
00:02:20,182 --> 00:02:21,308
in this video?
68
00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:22,851
I don't know. I didn't ask.
69
00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:24,394
- And you ain't think to ask?
- No.
70
00:02:24,394 --> 00:02:26,438
I was just so excited
to bring you an offer.
71
00:02:26,438 --> 00:02:28,315
So how much am I
getting paid for this shit?
72
00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:32,903
No clue, but there's the man
with the answers.
73
00:02:32,903 --> 00:02:34,905
No, no, no. Just start thinking
like a filmmaker,
74
00:02:34,905 --> 00:02:36,073
or get the fuck out of here.
75
00:02:36,073 --> 00:02:37,324
Fine, I'm going the fuck home.
76
00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:38,408
You're fuckin' toxic, Teddy.
77
00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:39,284
- What, are you gonna quit?
- Yeah.
78
00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:40,285
You're not gonna fuckin' quit.
79
00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:41,745
You're not gonna fuckin'
quit on me.
80
00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:43,288
You're gonna take
some fuckin' Pamprin,
81
00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:44,247
you're gonna get your mind right
82
00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:45,248
and get back to work.
83
00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:46,208
Fuck you, D,
you wanna take
84
00:02:46,208 --> 00:02:47,834
a fuckin' shot at me now?
85
00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:49,795
Fuckin' Dennis.
86
00:02:49,795 --> 00:02:51,463
There he is.
87
00:02:51,463 --> 00:02:53,173
I gotta call your prick
fuckin' agent
88
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,883
to get a hold of you now?
89
00:02:54,883 --> 00:02:56,343
I thought we had something
that transcends business.
90
00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:58,303
We don't?
No, okay, fine.
91
00:02:58,303 --> 00:02:59,471
Come on, take a walk with me.
92
00:02:59,471 --> 00:03:01,223
Balls, how are you, buddy?
93
00:03:01,223 --> 00:03:02,599
- Keep touching my hand, man.
- You all right?
94
00:03:02,599 --> 00:03:04,351
So you're doing
music videos now?
95
00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:06,061
I'm always doing music videos
and commercials.
96
00:03:06,061 --> 00:03:07,187
You know why?
97
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,688
'Cause they keep
my fuckin' pool heated
98
00:03:08,688 --> 00:03:10,023
and they keep me away
from having to do
99
00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:12,150
one of those stupid fuckin'
comic book movies.
100
00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:13,735
And all these young filmmakers,
101
00:03:13,735 --> 00:03:15,529
they're rotting away
making that trash.
102
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:16,988
Besides, music videos can be fun
103
00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:18,323
but just not this one.
104
00:03:18,323 --> 00:03:19,658
- Why?
- Because this Kali broad
105
00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:21,368
is a fuckin' diva, man.
106
00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:22,702
Wait, wait do you even know
why you're here?
107
00:03:22,702 --> 00:03:23,870
Yeah, I know why
I'm fuckin' here.
108
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:25,288
I don't know why
you fuckin' called me.
109
00:03:25,288 --> 00:03:27,749
Well, I had to fire Bradley
fuckin' Cooper this morning.
110
00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:30,085
Okay? Yeah, I had him all set
to be in the video.
111
00:03:30,085 --> 00:03:32,129
He was doing it for me
because he's a friend
112
00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:33,630
and it was a personal favor.
113
00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:35,006
But she didn't want
a white guy.
114
00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:37,092
And Bradley Cooper
isn't even white.
115
00:03:37,092 --> 00:03:40,220
He's a movie star.
Movie stars transcend color.
116
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:42,055
I mean, is Denzel black?
117
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,723
Yes.
118
00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:45,308
Denzel Washington's black?
119
00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:46,726
Yes, nigga, he is.
120
00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:48,019
Nah, not to me he's not.
121
00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:49,229
To me, he's a movie star.
122
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,689
Okay, it's a whole other shade.
123
00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:52,149
All right, man.
So what am I doing here?
124
00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:53,567
I'll tell you what
you're not here to do.
125
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,110
You're not here to fuck around,
okay?
126
00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:56,486
You're not here to sniff puss.
127
00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:57,821
You understand me?
128
00:03:57,821 --> 00:03:59,531
This is an epic
fuckin' love song.
129
00:03:59,531 --> 00:04:01,158
Okay? And I want you guys
to have
130
00:04:01,158 --> 00:04:03,660
incredible sexual chemistry
and erotic tension.
131
00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:05,036
- You follow?
- Yes.
132
00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:06,455
I'm serious, Floyd.
133
00:04:06,455 --> 00:04:08,081
Keep that nine-inch nail
in your pants.
134
00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:09,499
- You understand?
- How you know
135
00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:11,585
- how long my shit is?
- Ehh.
136
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:12,919
- Yeah?
- This fuckin' lunatic.
137
00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:14,296
Let's go!
138
00:04:16,173 --> 00:04:17,799
Floyd.
139
00:04:17,799 --> 00:04:19,301
Kali.
140
00:04:19,301 --> 00:04:21,428
- Hi.
- Hey.
141
00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:23,180
- How you been?
- Good.
142
00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:25,599
- You?
- Good. Busy.
143
00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:26,725
- Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.
144
00:04:26,725 --> 00:04:27,893
Copy that.
145
00:04:27,893 --> 00:04:29,603
What the fuck?
146
00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:32,439
Uh, this is--this is--
this is great chemistry.
147
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:34,399
This is--this is fuckin' magic.
148
00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:37,611
So you guys are like
a modern-day Bogie and Bacall.
149
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:40,155
This is--
what the fuck, man?
150
00:04:40,155 --> 00:04:41,531
What the fuck?
151
00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:43,366
What the fuck
am I gonna do?
152
00:04:43,366 --> 00:04:45,785
Dennis!
Where the fuck is my latte?
153
00:04:45,785 --> 00:04:48,455
- He's a treat.
- Yeah, tell me about it.
154
00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:50,707
So, uh, what's
with the camera?
155
00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:52,751
- Uh, documentary.
- Yeah?
156
00:04:52,751 --> 00:04:54,461
- Yeah.
- Well, it kinda makes it
157
00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:56,588
- hard to talk openly.
- Yeah, yeah, that's--
158
00:04:56,588 --> 00:04:57,923
You could say that.
159
00:04:57,923 --> 00:04:59,591
Maybe we should text
as we walk.
160
00:05:01,218 --> 00:05:03,553
I would if I could,
but I lost my fuckin' phone.
161
00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:06,640
Oh, interesting.
No, 'cause I was wondering--
162
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,099
Why you haven't heard from me?
163
00:05:08,099 --> 00:05:09,643
Yeah, but you know,
we're cool.
164
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,353
You know, this explains
everything.
165
00:05:11,353 --> 00:05:13,605
Does it? 'Cause maybe I would've
ghosted you anyway.
166
00:05:13,605 --> 00:05:16,066
Maybe Balls was right.
167
00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:17,609
Maybe you didn't have
a good time.
168
00:05:17,609 --> 00:05:18,985
Why do you think you're here?
169
00:05:20,445 --> 00:05:22,155
'Cause I wanted
to see you again.
170
00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:23,740
You know, and with my schedule,
171
00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:25,242
this is pretty much
the only way I could.
172
00:05:25,242 --> 00:05:28,411
So you go and fire
Bradley Cooper.
173
00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:30,413
I mean, Bradley's a doll.
174
00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:34,251
But every video I have,
it's always me and a white guy.
175
00:05:34,251 --> 00:05:37,837
I thought,
why not a hot black guy?
176
00:05:37,837 --> 00:05:39,506
Wait a minute, now.
177
00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:40,757
I look like a piece
of meat to you?
178
00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:42,217
You objectifying me, Ms. Kali?
179
00:05:42,217 --> 00:05:44,844
- I mean, basically.
- Oh, okay.
180
00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:46,930
I fucks with it.
181
00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:48,473
Good.
182
00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:50,392
See you on set.
183
00:05:50,392 --> 00:05:52,978
Yeah. For sure.
184
00:05:52,978 --> 00:05:55,689
So where were you when you first
heard Kali's music?
185
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:56,898
Huh?
186
00:05:58,191 --> 00:06:00,318
Oh, shit.
Shit, I don't know.
187
00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:01,653
I don't even know
if I've heard anything.
188
00:06:01,653 --> 00:06:03,822
I mean, I'm sure I have, but--
189
00:06:03,822 --> 00:06:06,116
- So you're not an Angel Flower?
- A what now?
190
00:06:06,116 --> 00:06:07,534
That's what she calls her fans.
191
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:09,035
Angel Flowers.
192
00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:11,496
Yeah. Right on.
193
00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:13,039
Oh, my God.
This one's a dud.
194
00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:14,374
So we're just gonna get some
195
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:15,667
behind-the-scenes footage
inside.
196
00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:26,303
Hey. Are you an agent?
197
00:06:26,303 --> 00:06:28,638
Yes. Y-yes, indeed, I am,
my dear.
198
00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:32,058
I am an agent of change.
I'm an agent of good fortune.
199
00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:34,269
I'm a secret agent man.
200
00:06:34,269 --> 00:06:37,022
I'm, uh...Agent Orange.
201
00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:38,565
Who do you represent?
202
00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:40,525
Who don't I represent
these days?
203
00:06:40,525 --> 00:06:42,819
But, uh, Floyd Mooney
comes to mind.
204
00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:44,487
Never heard of him.
205
00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:46,239
He's a brilliant,
young comedian.
206
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:48,033
He was just in a movie
with Jamie Foxx.
207
00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:50,118
Ooh, I love me some Jamie Foxx.
208
00:06:50,118 --> 00:06:53,622
Ooh, Mr. Foxxy gon'
love him some of you.
209
00:06:53,622 --> 00:06:55,832
What you do, girl?
Are you an actor?
210
00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:57,834
- Singer, actress, personality.
- Wow.
211
00:06:57,834 --> 00:07:00,462
- Medusssa. Three Ss.
- Ah. Nice!
212
00:07:00,462 --> 00:07:02,172
It's that third S.
Good branding.
213
00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:04,174
Yeah, just trying to take it
to the next level.
214
00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:05,800
You know, fake it
till you make it.
215
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:08,553
That is my entire raison d'être.
216
00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:09,846
- What?
- Nothing.
217
00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:11,139
Not even remotely important.
218
00:07:11,139 --> 00:07:12,474
Who else do you represent?
219
00:07:12,474 --> 00:07:15,894
Uh, who else do--oh, oh!
220
00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:18,938
This fine, young comedian here.
His name's Balls.
221
00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:20,607
- His name is Balls?
- Yeah.
222
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:22,567
And he's a funny motherfucker.
223
00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:23,735
Balls, come here.
224
00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:25,945
My man.
225
00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:27,739
Say something funny.
226
00:07:27,739 --> 00:07:29,699
What the fuck do I look like,
a performing seal?
227
00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:31,368
Eh, it's more like a walrus
right now.
228
00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:33,828
Actually, scratch that.
You got a very Shamu vibe
229
00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:36,373
- going on today.
- Walrus? Shamu?
230
00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:37,832
Why don't you buy
some new material,
231
00:07:37,832 --> 00:07:39,709
you fuckin' cow kisser?
232
00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:41,252
Hey, don't waste your time
with this Slurpee jockey.
233
00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:42,837
He's not even an agent.
234
00:07:42,837 --> 00:07:44,339
He's just on break
from 7-Eleven.
235
00:07:44,339 --> 00:07:46,883
He is funny.
236
00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:49,094
He's full of shit.
Okay, look.
237
00:07:49,094 --> 00:07:50,929
And I got a Deadline article
right here that says otherwise.
238
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:53,848
Just get it, director.
Make it right.
239
00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:55,642
Make it right.
You're so worried
240
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:57,018
about looking like
you're in a fuckin' jazz band,
241
00:07:57,018 --> 00:07:58,395
with your fuckin' hat.
242
00:07:58,395 --> 00:08:00,021
Okay?
243
00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:02,649
Just stay on a 284 split.
244
00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:04,150
That's not a 284, is it?
245
00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:05,985
Put it on a 284
and leave it there.
246
00:08:05,985 --> 00:08:08,571
Why does it take 25 minutes
to get a latte, Bobby?
247
00:08:08,571 --> 00:08:10,240
Please t--that's it!
248
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:12,951
Enough! Enough with
the Christless jabber!
249
00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:16,538
We gotta be quiet!
Quiet on the fuckin' set!
250
00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:18,998
Good. All right,
you two, move.
251
00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:20,834
You're done.
Doing her hair for 19 hours,
252
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,585
still looks like shit.
Eh, eh.
253
00:08:22,585 --> 00:08:24,295
- There's flyaways, Annette.
- Oh, oh, okay.
254
00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:25,588
That's good.
You're good.
255
00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:26,923
- Kali.
- Yes.
256
00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:28,883
This is what we're gonna do,
okay?
257
00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:30,677
- We're--you're in the bed.
- Okay.
258
00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:32,846
You're fantasizing about
your lover who can't
259
00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:35,390
be with you right now
'cause he's dead.
260
00:08:35,390 --> 00:08:37,267
Okay, you're yearning,
you're burning,
261
00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:39,102
you're moaning, you're groaning
262
00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:41,771
and when you're ready,
I want you to just let it out.
263
00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:44,190
Yeah, don't be afraid to just--
to just go for it.
264
00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:46,943
- Just go for what?
- You know.
265
00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:49,446
When you wanna, just...
266
00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:50,697
pleasure yourself,
you could rub one out.
267
00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:52,282
- Teddy!
- What?
268
00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:53,783
No, I am not masturbating
in my video.
269
00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:55,869
Oh, well, you said you
wanted a sexy video
270
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:58,580
Yeah, absolutely. But not this
cheesy, softcore porn bullshit.
271
00:08:58,580 --> 00:09:00,957
Excuse me, what do you mean
softcore, cheesy?
272
00:09:00,957 --> 00:09:02,917
Okay? And we wanna
push the boundaries.
273
00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:05,754
Okay? I don't do cheesy. Madonna
would be all over this shit.
274
00:09:05,754 --> 00:09:08,256
And I'm not Madonna.
She wrote the book on this stuff
275
00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:09,632
and she closed it years ago.
276
00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:11,259
Fine, we'll do it your way.
277
00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:12,761
We'll just, uh,
we'll keep it classy.
278
00:09:12,761 --> 00:09:14,387
- Okay.
- Excuse me
279
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:15,930
for having a vision, huh?
280
00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:18,683
Shoot me, okay?
I just wanna finish the day.
281
00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:20,101
All right, man.
So where do I come in?
282
00:09:20,101 --> 00:09:22,353
Okay, you're just gonna
appear to her.
283
00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:23,813
Okay, you're her fantasy.
284
00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:25,523
You're her dead lover.
285
00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:27,317
How'd I die?
286
00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:28,860
What are you, fuckin' Daniel
Day-Lewis all of a sudden?
287
00:09:28,860 --> 00:09:30,070
Okay, you're a method actor,
you need to know
288
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,237
everything about your character?
289
00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:32,614
Who gives a shit how you died?
290
00:09:32,614 --> 00:09:34,157
Okay, man. So all right,
so how does
291
00:09:34,157 --> 00:09:35,408
this floating thing work,
all right?
292
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:36,785
Is it a computer
effects thing?
293
00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:38,244
No, no, no, no.
It's gonna be great.
294
00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:40,288
We're--we're gonna lower
you down, okay?
295
00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:41,873
We're gonna bring you down
on the wires.
296
00:09:41,873 --> 00:09:43,875
- Let's get Floyd's angel wings!
- The what?
297
00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:45,251
You're a fuckin'
brick shithouse,
298
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:46,461
You're like fuckin'
Herschel Walker.
299
00:09:46,461 --> 00:09:47,712
Hold on, man. What is this?
300
00:09:47,712 --> 00:09:49,172
Balls, look at this.
301
00:09:49,172 --> 00:09:50,215
Shit, he look like one
of the flying monkeys
302
00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:51,800
from The Wizard of Oz, man.
303
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:53,343
- Get 'em in now. Come on.
- He looks like
304
00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:55,845
- a black bald eagle.
- Angel from the ghetto.
305
00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:58,056
- Ohh!
- Oh, my.
306
00:09:58,056 --> 00:09:59,641
Yeah!
307
00:09:59,641 --> 00:10:01,392
Not so funny now,
huh, motherfucker?
308
00:10:01,392 --> 00:10:03,353
You know what, Aladdin?
Fuck you and the boo.
309
00:10:03,353 --> 00:10:04,729
How 'bout that shit?
310
00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:05,939
Enough! Let's shoot something!
311
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:07,357
Let's go!
312
00:10:08,983 --> 00:10:10,568
And playback.
313
00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:12,654
♪ Slay ♪
314
00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:14,197
♪ Why don't you tell 'em
what we do, girls? ♪
315
00:10:14,197 --> 00:10:15,573
Action, Kali.
316
00:10:15,573 --> 00:10:18,535
♪ You know we slay, girl ♪
317
00:10:18,535 --> 00:10:20,829
- ♪ Hey ♪
- Good.
318
00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:23,039
Good. Listen to that music.
319
00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:24,707
Yeah, yeah, uh, eh, eh,
eh, eh.
320
00:10:24,707 --> 00:10:27,085
- ♪ Here we go ♪
- Feel that beat. Good.
321
00:10:27,085 --> 00:10:29,003
♪ Stronger than
you think I am ♪
322
00:10:29,003 --> 00:10:30,797
And that's sexy
I like that.
323
00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,549
♪ Haters throwing shade out ♪
324
00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:33,758
♪ I ain't got time
for that ♪
325
00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:35,134
And just wiggle it.
326
00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:37,720
- Float the angel.
- Oh, oh.
327
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:39,389
- That's your angel.
- Oh, no.
328
00:10:39,389 --> 00:10:42,934
Little faster. That's good.
Relax, Floyd.
329
00:10:42,934 --> 00:10:44,394
Relax, Floyd!
330
00:10:44,394 --> 00:10:47,438
Okay. Hey, yeah.
Yeah, yeah!
331
00:10:47,438 --> 00:10:50,692
Okay. Good, Kali!
And move. Okay.
332
00:10:50,692 --> 00:10:52,360
Oh!
333
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:53,945
- Oh, shit!
- Ah, what the fuck?
334
00:10:53,945 --> 00:10:55,238
- Oh! Oh!
- What the fuck is going on?
335
00:10:55,238 --> 00:10:57,198
What?
336
00:10:58,783 --> 00:11:00,285
Oh!
337
00:11:00,285 --> 00:11:01,953
Cut!
Christ on a cross,
338
00:11:01,953 --> 00:11:03,371
that was a fuckin' disaster.
339
00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:04,622
Ohh!
340
00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:06,916
I'm not complaining.
341
00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:14,507
I don't know.
342
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:16,092
I think it might be good
for our careers.
343
00:11:16,092 --> 00:11:18,595
But it's gross. Why do I have
to be with the fat one?
344
00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:20,597
Take one
for the team, bitch.
345
00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:23,182
I get that.
But he's not even a little fat,
346
00:11:23,182 --> 00:11:26,019
- he's huge!
- I know.
347
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:28,521
Ooh, boba. Do you want one?
348
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:29,772
Yeah, sure.
349
00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:35,945
Ah, ahh, so you thought
I ghosted you, huh?
350
00:11:35,945 --> 00:11:37,530
Shit, I ain't know
what to think, for real.
351
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:39,324
I was trying to play it cool.
352
00:11:39,324 --> 00:11:41,284
Yeah, well, in my life,
there's no time to play it cool.
353
00:11:41,284 --> 00:11:43,411
If I like someone, I gotta
tell them right away,
354
00:11:43,411 --> 00:11:45,079
otherwise a whole year
might pass by.
355
00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:47,248
Ohh, so you're saying
you like me, huh?
356
00:11:47,248 --> 00:11:48,917
- I didn't say that.
- Uh-huh.
357
00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:50,752
But I think I might.
358
00:11:50,752 --> 00:11:52,587
Think? Might?
359
00:11:52,587 --> 00:11:54,464
You don't sound too sure
of yourself, woman.
360
00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:56,883
Okay, Floyd. I like you.
361
00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:58,551
Deal with it.
362
00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:00,053
Well, you know,
when I ain't hear from you
363
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,804
I was kinda bummed 'cause I
realized how long it'd been
364
00:12:01,804 --> 00:12:04,432
since I actually looked forward
to seeing somebody again.
365
00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:06,267
Everybody since Sadie
has pretty much been
366
00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:08,645
very brief or very twisted.
367
00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:10,480
You know, I was gonna ask Sadie
for your number,
368
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:12,190
but I wasn't sure--
was that a good idea?
369
00:12:12,190 --> 00:12:13,399
Yeah, that was wise.
370
00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:14,525
That was wise you ain't do that.
371
00:12:14,525 --> 00:12:16,361
Not a good idea at all.
372
00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:18,446
She has a lot to be
pissed about at me right now.
373
00:12:18,446 --> 00:12:21,324
And she specifically asked me
to not get involved with you.
374
00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:22,825
Ooh, well, you fucked that up.
375
00:12:22,825 --> 00:12:25,411
Yeah, royally.
But hey, if a woman
376
00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:26,746
is kind enough to kiss you
377
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:28,498
and you don't return that kiss,
378
00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:30,291
I feel like you're
pretty much breaking one of
379
00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:32,251
- the big laws of the universe.
- Mm-hmm.
380
00:12:32,251 --> 00:12:35,505
So what would it be like
if we went on a date.
381
00:12:35,505 --> 00:12:37,340
- What would we do?
- Ooh.
382
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:39,258
- Let's find out.
- I don't think you
383
00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:40,760
actually wanna find out.
384
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,512
It's not as fun
as you would imagine.
385
00:12:42,512 --> 00:12:44,347
I don't believe that
for one second.
386
00:12:44,347 --> 00:12:45,848
Believe that.
387
00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:47,809
Dating me is like...
388
00:12:47,809 --> 00:12:50,478
dating TMZ and all of my fans
389
00:12:50,478 --> 00:12:52,063
who want selfies
every other second.
390
00:12:52,063 --> 00:12:54,983
It's kind of a boner killer.
391
00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:57,652
So, uh, what do you do?
392
00:12:57,652 --> 00:13:00,446
You, uh, get creative.
393
00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:03,116
You improvise.
394
00:13:04,701 --> 00:13:07,286
Girl, you a freak.
395
00:13:08,997 --> 00:13:11,374
Girl, all these THOTish
tendencies you got.
396
00:13:12,542 --> 00:13:14,043
Mmm.
397
00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:16,546
Okay. Yeah.
Got eyes on one and two.
398
00:13:16,546 --> 00:13:18,840
Copy that. Uh-huh.
399
00:13:20,049 --> 00:13:22,635
Hey. They need you guys.
400
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:24,095
Fuckin' cock blocker!
401
00:13:26,681 --> 00:13:28,683
All right. You need
to get in here, Floyd.
402
00:13:28,683 --> 00:13:31,269
Really?
I gotta get in a fuckin' coffin?
403
00:13:31,269 --> 00:13:33,021
Well, you're gonna be
in one at some point.
404
00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:34,731
Why not get some
practice now, eh?
405
00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:36,190
Unless you wanna be cremated.
406
00:13:36,190 --> 00:13:37,817
Hadn't given that
a ton of thought.
407
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:39,152
You should think about
that shit, Floyd.
408
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:41,654
Life is short. Me, I wanna get
burnt to a crisp,
409
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:43,197
but I want a statue.
410
00:13:43,197 --> 00:13:44,907
I don't know, man.
It's just fuckin' creepy.
411
00:13:44,907 --> 00:13:47,243
Ooh, you want some
apple sauce and a blankie?
412
00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:49,120
Come on, it's just
dream imagery, man.
413
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:50,955
Man the fuck up
and get in the box, man.
414
00:13:52,290 --> 00:13:55,043
Please.
Everything's an issue with you.
415
00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:57,211
Oh, oh, ah.
416
00:13:57,211 --> 00:13:58,796
Ah.
417
00:14:01,716 --> 00:14:03,426
It's pretty fuckin' comfy,
actually.
418
00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:04,761
Good, 'cause that's what
matters to me most right now
419
00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:06,012
- is your comfort.
- Yeah.
420
00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:07,388
- All right?
- Right.
421
00:14:07,388 --> 00:14:08,848
Listen, you should, uh,
talk to Kali
422
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,433
about being an angry black
at some point.
423
00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:11,809
- Hmm?
- Okay, if we could land her,
424
00:14:11,809 --> 00:14:13,269
it'll definitely help
with investors
425
00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:14,729
and I'll bet you wouldn't mind,
426
00:14:14,729 --> 00:14:16,105
uh, rolling around with her
again, huh?
427
00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:17,690
That'd be a good time
for you, huh?
428
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:18,900
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, all right.
429
00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:20,276
Let's bring in the bugs!
430
00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:21,319
Bugs?
431
00:14:21,319 --> 00:14:22,945
What you mean, bugs?
432
00:14:22,945 --> 00:14:24,447
- Hi.
- Ah, fuck no!
433
00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:25,656
Ah, uh-uh, uh-uh.
434
00:14:25,656 --> 00:14:27,075
No fuckin' way, Teddy!
435
00:14:27,075 --> 00:14:28,367
I hate fuckin' bugs!
436
00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:29,744
All right, well then, use that.
437
00:14:29,744 --> 00:14:30,953
Use it for--use it--use--
for what?
438
00:14:30,953 --> 00:14:32,497
These are movie bugs, Floyd.
439
00:14:32,497 --> 00:14:33,664
Don't worry,
they don't even bite.
440
00:14:33,664 --> 00:14:34,707
I don't care if they bite,
441
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:36,000
I just don't want them on me.
442
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:36,959
Oh, well, what do you
want me to do, Floyd?
443
00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:38,169
You want me to shut down
production
444
00:14:38,169 --> 00:14:39,378
'cause you're afraid
of some fuckin' bugs?
445
00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:40,630
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Come on, man.
446
00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:42,048
- Be a fuckin' man.
- I got this. I got it.
447
00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:44,175
Hi. Ah.
448
00:14:44,175 --> 00:14:47,053
Hi. Oh, look
at all your buddies.
449
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:48,721
Relax.
450
00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:50,056
No, no, no, don't--don't scream
451
00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:51,140
or they're gonna go
into your mouth.
452
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:51,974
- Ma-ma-ma-ma!
- Stop.
453
00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:53,976
Be quiet. Relax.
454
00:14:53,976 --> 00:14:55,895
Don't open your mouth.
Now, listen,
455
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,647
Kali's gonna come over
to the coffin
456
00:14:57,647 --> 00:14:59,190
and she's gonna resurrect you
457
00:14:59,190 --> 00:15:00,566
with her love.
458
00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:02,151
- Act accordingly.
- Ohh, oh!
459
00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:04,278
- Good night.
- And, playback.
460
00:15:04,278 --> 00:15:05,863
♪ Slay ♪
461
00:15:05,863 --> 00:15:07,365
Sad and sexy.
462
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:12,662
Yes. All right, action. Kali.
Get it, girl.
463
00:15:12,662 --> 00:15:14,372
Sad and sexy.
464
00:15:14,372 --> 00:15:16,332
Shimmy. Eh, eh.
465
00:15:16,332 --> 00:15:17,333
There we go.
466
00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:18,376
Sad and sexy.
467
00:15:20,962 --> 00:15:23,005
♪ Stronger than you think I am ♪
468
00:15:23,005 --> 00:15:25,967
Ahh!
469
00:15:25,967 --> 00:15:27,218
Cut.
470
00:15:27,218 --> 00:15:28,845
Ah! Ah! Ah!
471
00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:31,222
Jesus Christ, please, cut.
472
00:15:31,222 --> 00:15:33,015
What was that, Floyd?
473
00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:35,143
Ah! Huh? I'm sorry, man.
474
00:15:35,143 --> 00:15:37,019
I just couldn't fuckin' do it.
475
00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:38,354
- All right. Okay, okay.
- I couldn't fuckin' do it.
476
00:15:38,354 --> 00:15:39,438
Just relax, okay?
You gotta relax
477
00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:40,815
because we gotta go again.
478
00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:43,317
Okay? Let's bring in
some more bugs!
479
00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:45,027
No! No more bugs!
480
00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:46,988
Look, Teddy, I'm not comfortable
with this.
481
00:15:46,988 --> 00:15:48,865
Well, I'm not comfortable
with you directing this video.
482
00:15:48,865 --> 00:15:50,241
I mean, why did you
even hire me?
483
00:15:50,241 --> 00:15:52,201
Because you're
a talented filmmaker,
484
00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:53,786
but I don't want people to do
things they don't wanna do.
485
00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:56,038
Oh, my God. What are we,
in freakin' preschool?
486
00:15:56,038 --> 00:15:57,623
You little baby. Huh?
487
00:15:57,623 --> 00:15:59,208
Fine. Floyd, that's it.
488
00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:01,586
No more bugs.
You win.
489
00:16:01,586 --> 00:16:04,213
- Okay?
- Ahh! Ahh!
490
00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:06,215
- Oh, fuck!
- Get--
491
00:16:06,215 --> 00:16:08,301
Ah, no! Uhh!
492
00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:11,220
Floyd, motherfucker, cut!
493
00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:12,555
Ahh!
494
00:16:12,555 --> 00:16:13,848
You gonna give it to me?
495
00:16:13,848 --> 00:16:15,391
Ooh, I am gonna give it to you.
496
00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:17,685
Yeah, you gonna take it
to the next level?
497
00:16:17,685 --> 00:16:19,854
Ooh, next level here we come!
498
00:16:19,854 --> 00:16:21,355
Are you gonna help me
with my career?
499
00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:22,732
Uh, yeah, definitely.
500
00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:24,400
I'm gonna help you
with your career.
501
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:26,194
Yeah. You gonna put a baby
up in this ass?
502
00:16:26,194 --> 00:16:28,487
Oh, wha--what? You want me
to put it in your butt?
503
00:16:28,487 --> 00:16:29,822
No, that's just dirty talk.
504
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,157
Oh, okay.
505
00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:32,033
Well, yeah,
keep that shit going.
506
00:16:32,033 --> 00:16:33,576
I dig that shit.
507
00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:35,578
Okay, how are you gonna do it?
508
00:16:35,578 --> 00:16:37,246
Uh, how do you like it?
509
00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:39,457
No, how are you gonna
kickstart my career?
510
00:16:39,457 --> 00:16:41,292
Oh, well, I gotta clear my head,
511
00:16:41,292 --> 00:16:44,337
but I'll come up
with a five-year plan.
512
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:46,422
Wait, it's gonna take
five years.
513
00:16:46,422 --> 00:16:48,049
- Maybe quicker.
- Yeah.
514
00:16:48,049 --> 00:16:49,550
- It's gonna be quicker.
- Yeah.
515
00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:51,385
- Yeah, you like it quick?
- Yeah.
516
00:16:51,385 --> 00:16:53,095
- Yeah, you gonna come in me?
- Uh-huh!
517
00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:54,931
You gonna give Medusssa
a cream pie?
518
00:16:54,931 --> 00:16:57,850
What? You want a cream pie--
no--no!
519
00:16:57,850 --> 00:17:01,270
Ahh. Oh. Mmm.
520
00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:03,397
Uhh.
521
00:17:03,397 --> 00:17:04,941
Did you just come in me?
522
00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:06,609
Yeah.
523
00:17:06,609 --> 00:17:08,069
- But you said--you said--
- What the fuck?
524
00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:10,154
You can't hang with
a little dirty talk?
525
00:17:10,154 --> 00:17:11,822
You--you said
some intense shit.
526
00:17:11,822 --> 00:17:13,324
That you--you conjured that.
527
00:17:13,324 --> 00:17:14,575
Oh, my God. Fuck, dude!
528
00:17:14,575 --> 00:17:16,577
Where's your fuckin' manners?
529
00:17:16,577 --> 00:17:18,955
God, now I have to take
another morning-after pill.
530
00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:20,289
You'd kill our baby?
531
00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:21,499
Gross!
532
00:17:21,499 --> 00:17:22,667
What, you can talk all weird
533
00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:24,126
and dirty, but I can't?
534
00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:25,628
Not anymore, asshole.
535
00:17:25,628 --> 00:17:27,463
That moment passed
when you blew your load.
536
00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:29,215
- I didn't blow all of it.
- What the fuck is this?
537
00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:31,259
- Amateur hour?
- More like amateur
538
00:17:31,259 --> 00:17:33,552
two and a half minutes.
539
00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:35,721
Everybody's a fucking critic.
540
00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:38,015
- ♪ Slay ♪
- Action, Kali.
541
00:17:38,015 --> 00:17:40,518
♪ Why don't you tell 'em
what we do, girl? ♪
542
00:17:40,518 --> 00:17:42,812
- ♪ You know we slay, girl ♪
- All right. Yeah.
543
00:17:42,812 --> 00:17:45,523
There you go. Nice. - ♪ Hey ♪
544
00:17:45,523 --> 00:17:47,400
Kiss him on the forehead.
545
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,068
Nice. Now, uh,
546
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:51,320
now--now on the lips.
547
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:53,322
♪ Hey, stronger
than you think I am ♪
548
00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:55,866
Mwah. That's hot and sexy.
549
00:17:55,866 --> 00:17:58,119
Now do it again. One more.
550
00:17:58,119 --> 00:17:59,829
Little tongue. Not too much!
551
00:17:59,829 --> 00:18:02,373
Don't get crazy.
Okay, Floyd, kiss her back.
552
00:18:02,373 --> 00:18:04,875
Yeah. Now she's bringing
you back to life
553
00:18:04,875 --> 00:18:06,627
with her love.
554
00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:07,962
With her lust!
555
00:18:07,962 --> 00:18:09,297
♪ Slay ♪
556
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:13,050
Yes! Now stand up.
557
00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:15,011
No boner, though.
Mind over matter.
558
00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:16,053
Focus.
559
00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:18,514
Okay.
560
00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:20,766
And bring in the love slaves!
561
00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:23,644
There you go. Okay.
562
00:18:23,644 --> 00:18:26,522
Uh-huh. Yeah, fellas,
you look great.
563
00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:29,066
Uh-huh. Yeah.
564
00:18:29,066 --> 00:18:30,693
Cut!
565
00:18:30,693 --> 00:18:32,903
Cut?! You don't yell cut!
566
00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:34,488
I yell cut.
567
00:18:34,488 --> 00:18:36,699
Respectfully,
what the fuck is this?
568
00:18:36,699 --> 00:18:38,200
What the fuck is this?
569
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:39,744
These are your love slaves.
570
00:18:39,744 --> 00:18:41,037
I mean, you gotta see it
behind the monitor.
571
00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:42,371
It looks fantastic.
572
00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:43,831
They're all chained
and shackled.
573
00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:45,750
I know, I know.
It's powerful shit, huh?
574
00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:49,086
What place does slave imagery
have in my video, Teddy?
575
00:18:49,086 --> 00:18:50,671
But they're white.
576
00:18:50,671 --> 00:18:52,298
And you enslaved them
with your love.
577
00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:53,841
I don't want slave imagery
in my video.
578
00:18:53,841 --> 00:18:55,343
White, black, or otherwise.
579
00:18:55,343 --> 00:18:56,969
Teddy, this is
fucking offensive.
580
00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:59,055
Offensive? Offensive to who?
581
00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:00,890
To black people.
582
00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:03,100
But they're white!
583
00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:06,062
Oh, my God. I cannot believe
I have to explain this to you.
584
00:19:06,062 --> 00:19:07,396
What, you don't have to
explain anything to me!
585
00:19:07,396 --> 00:19:09,065
Okay, Kali, you're out of touch.
586
00:19:09,065 --> 00:19:11,150
Okay, you're too famous
for your own good.
587
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:12,860
Okay, you don't know what's
going on in the real world.
588
00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:14,487
And let's ask Floyd,
he's way closer
589
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:15,529
to the ground than you are.
590
00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:18,032
Floyd, tell her, please.
591
00:19:18,032 --> 00:19:19,325
Shit's fucked up, Teddy.
592
00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:20,409
Thank you.
593
00:19:20,409 --> 00:19:21,660
You fuckin' traitor.
594
00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:22,912
I always have your back
595
00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:24,413
and--and you don't have mine?
596
00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:26,665
It's not about
me having your back, Teddy.
597
00:19:26,665 --> 00:19:29,001
It's just--the lady doesn't want
this shit in her video.
598
00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:31,003
- Thank you.
- And I'm not even offended,
599
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:33,714
it's just fuckin' stupid.
600
00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:35,716
I'm done.
601
00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:37,468
I'm--I'm done.
I'm going home.
602
00:19:37,468 --> 00:19:38,594
Wait, wait!
603
00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:39,678
You're just gonna quit?
604
00:19:39,678 --> 00:19:41,222
Huh, it's not quitting
605
00:19:41,222 --> 00:19:42,264
if it's a hostile
work environment.
606
00:19:42,264 --> 00:19:43,516
Okay? I don't need this.
607
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:45,226
You could get some traffic cop
608
00:19:45,226 --> 00:19:47,186
to direct this stupid
dance party, pop crap.
609
00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:48,729
I should've known what you were
about when you rejected
610
00:19:48,729 --> 00:19:50,272
my Armenian Genocide idea.
611
00:19:50,272 --> 00:19:51,857
- Uh, Teddy, come on.
- Oh, my God.
612
00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:53,776
I--I can't even hear you, Floyd
613
00:19:53,776 --> 00:19:55,361
'cause you're dead to me.
614
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:56,862
Okay?
615
00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:58,739
I--I wanted to do
cool shit with you, man,
616
00:19:58,739 --> 00:20:00,533
like Scorsese and DeNiro.
617
00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:02,618
Tarantino and Samuel L. Jackson.
618
00:20:02,618 --> 00:20:04,912
Kurosawa and Toshiro Mifune.
619
00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:08,499
That's the lifelong partnership
I imagined us having.
620
00:20:08,499 --> 00:20:12,253
But you sold me out for a piece
of pop star panani.
621
00:20:12,253 --> 00:20:14,463
- Yeah.
- Punani.
622
00:20:14,463 --> 00:20:16,006
You--fuck you.
623
00:20:17,967 --> 00:20:19,385
Ugh.
624
00:20:19,385 --> 00:20:21,262
Elephant doors!
625
00:20:21,262 --> 00:20:23,305
Open them the fuck up, man!
626
00:20:23,305 --> 00:20:25,224
I'm out! I'm done!
627
00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:26,725
I fucking quit!
628
00:20:26,725 --> 00:20:29,937
I'm--I'm--I'm so sorry
about this.
629
00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:31,439
No. Don't be.
630
00:20:31,439 --> 00:20:33,190
You probably did me a favor.
631
00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:34,859
I've been trying to break up
with him for a while, now.
632
00:20:37,736 --> 00:20:41,157
So I guess, uh--
I guess we're done here.
633
00:20:41,157 --> 00:20:42,825
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
634
00:20:42,825 --> 00:20:46,036
Maybe we could finally
go on that date.
635
00:20:46,036 --> 00:20:47,663
- Yeah.
- Well, it looks like
636
00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:49,582
we can make that dinner
with the record company.
637
00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:51,333
Um, and EW needs a
15-minute phoner right now.
638
00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:54,211
The writer's on a deadline.
639
00:20:55,171 --> 00:20:57,339
- Hmm.
- I'm sorry.
640
00:20:57,339 --> 00:20:59,633
- Yeah, but I--I'll--you know.
- Yeah.
641
00:20:59,633 --> 00:21:00,926
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
642
00:21:00,926 --> 00:21:03,387
Okay.
643
00:21:04,763 --> 00:21:06,765
- Bye.
- See you.
644
00:21:06,765 --> 00:21:09,143
Starkeisha! Lakuna!
We gotta go, girls.
645
00:21:09,143 --> 00:21:10,186
- Coming.
- That's a wrap
646
00:21:10,186 --> 00:21:11,896
on the love slaves.
647
00:21:11,896 --> 00:21:13,481
Slow down.
Don't break a ankle, girl.
648
00:21:15,357 --> 00:21:18,360
♪ hip-hop music ♪
649
00:21:29,205 --> 00:21:31,165
This is gonna reflect
very poorly upon your future.
650
00:21:31,165 --> 00:21:33,918
You don't want to do this.
You know--oh, this is my ride.
651
00:21:33,918 --> 00:21:35,961
- This is my ride!
- Fuck you. Calm down.
652
00:21:40,216 --> 00:21:44,094
It's a long, crazy story,
653
00:21:44,094 --> 00:21:46,305
but it does involve me
getting my dick wet.
654
00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:48,641
Which is a huge win for me.
655
00:21:48,641 --> 00:21:51,727
Unless I really did
put a baby up in that ass.
656
00:21:51,727 --> 00:21:53,354
Fuck.
657
00:21:55,105 --> 00:21:57,066
I don't even wanna know.
658
00:21:57,066 --> 00:21:59,693
♪ I'm on my fifth brew
and my rent's due ♪
659
00:21:59,693 --> 00:22:02,571
♪ Sixth and west roof
I can see it all ♪
660
00:22:02,571 --> 00:22:03,948
♪ Look at where you came from ♪
661
00:22:03,948 --> 00:22:05,324
♪ Californication ♪
662
00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:06,784
♪ Since a little baby ♪
663
00:22:06,784 --> 00:22:08,536
♪ Skating in boogie boards ♪
664
00:22:08,536 --> 00:22:11,080
♪ Don't stop now,
keep dreaming ♪
665
00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:13,040
♪ Don't stop now ♪
666
00:22:14,500 --> 00:22:17,586
Hey. What happened to you,
motherfucker?
667
00:22:17,586 --> 00:22:18,754
Yo, man, got bored.
668
00:22:18,754 --> 00:22:19,880
I don't fuck with all that
669
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:21,549
hurry up and wait shit.
670
00:22:21,549 --> 00:22:25,094
Well, another fuckin' dream
dashed, Balls.
671
00:22:25,094 --> 00:22:26,845
Damn, I ain't even get
her new number.
672
00:22:26,845 --> 00:22:28,847
Yo, it's probably
for the best, man.
673
00:22:28,847 --> 00:22:30,099
- Why?
- 'Cause you would've
674
00:22:30,099 --> 00:22:32,560
fucked it up anyway.
675
00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:36,564
Yeah. Everything I got is pretty
much in the shitter right now.
676
00:22:36,564 --> 00:22:38,691
Career, psh, love life.
677
00:22:38,691 --> 00:22:40,234
Yo, what about your son, man?
678
00:22:40,234 --> 00:22:42,194
What about him, man?
He cool. We always cool.
679
00:22:42,194 --> 00:22:44,280
Nah, nah, man.
What kind of fuckin' example
680
00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:45,864
you think you're
setting for him?
681
00:22:45,864 --> 00:22:47,074
- What you mean?
- Everything with you
682
00:22:47,074 --> 00:22:48,617
is a fuckin' negative, man.
683
00:22:48,617 --> 00:22:50,327
I mean, that's gotta
take its toll.
684
00:22:50,327 --> 00:22:51,787
Hey, why you taking
that tone with me right now?
685
00:22:51,787 --> 00:22:54,123
'Cause you're so fuckin'
blessed, man.
686
00:22:54,123 --> 00:22:55,833
And you don't appreciate it.
687
00:22:55,833 --> 00:22:58,002
Yo, most of us,
we go our whole lives
688
00:22:58,002 --> 00:22:59,753
waiting for some cool shit
to happen, man.
689
00:22:59,753 --> 00:23:01,380
And it never does.
690
00:23:01,380 --> 00:23:03,299
We go to work, we come home,
691
00:23:03,299 --> 00:23:04,883
we sit on the fuckin' couch,
692
00:23:04,883 --> 00:23:06,302
and we dream about
a better life, man.
693
00:23:06,302 --> 00:23:08,596
'Cause that's all we can do.
694
00:23:08,596 --> 00:23:10,931
I mean, you complain
about Kali ghosting you, man.
695
00:23:10,931 --> 00:23:12,850
Nigga, Kali?
696
00:23:12,850 --> 00:23:15,853
Shit, Esther ghosted me
a long fuckin' time ago, man.
697
00:23:15,853 --> 00:23:18,439
But that's just what happens
to niggas like me, right?
698
00:23:18,439 --> 00:23:20,357
Yeah. Never had a fuckin' shot.
699
00:23:20,357 --> 00:23:22,192
Balls, I'm sorry, man.
700
00:23:22,192 --> 00:23:23,819
- I ain't realize--
- Yeah.
701
00:23:23,819 --> 00:23:26,280
'Cause you got your head
so far up your own ass
702
00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:28,115
that you can't see shit.
703
00:23:28,115 --> 00:23:30,868
You never was like,
"Balls, how's Esther?
704
00:23:30,868 --> 00:23:32,453
Balls, what's going on
with Esther?"
705
00:23:32,453 --> 00:23:34,163
And I would've fuckin' told you
706
00:23:34,163 --> 00:23:36,332
she fuckin' ghosted me, man!
707
00:23:38,751 --> 00:23:41,295
You fuckin' smart,
you good looking, you funny.
708
00:23:41,295 --> 00:23:44,340
Man, and all you do
is fuckin' bitch and moan.
709
00:23:44,340 --> 00:23:45,674
You had a woman, man.
710
00:23:45,674 --> 00:23:47,217
Yeah, it didn't work out,
711
00:23:47,217 --> 00:23:48,636
but at least you know
what it's like
712
00:23:48,636 --> 00:23:50,471
to have a woman that
fuckin' loves you.
713
00:23:50,471 --> 00:23:53,515
You got a son--a beautiful
fuckin' baby boy, man.
714
00:23:53,515 --> 00:23:56,060
And you got a career
doing what you always
715
00:23:56,060 --> 00:23:59,313
wanted to do, man--
what you always wanted to do--
716
00:23:59,313 --> 00:24:01,482
And it's still not good enough!
717
00:24:03,525 --> 00:24:06,028
You've had more than your
fair share of miracles, man.
718
00:24:06,028 --> 00:24:09,156
Yo, humble yourself, man.
719
00:24:09,156 --> 00:24:11,367
You gotta fuckin'
humble yourself.
720
00:24:15,162 --> 00:24:18,165
♪ pensive music ♪
721
00:24:22,836 --> 00:24:24,922
Hey.
722
00:24:24,922 --> 00:24:27,508
Another fuckin' miracle.
723
00:24:28,801 --> 00:24:31,845
It's nice to see you, too.
724
00:24:31,845 --> 00:24:33,472
I'm on a plane in the morning
725
00:24:33,472 --> 00:24:35,891
and I figured, what better way
to spend tonight.
726
00:24:35,891 --> 00:24:37,976
So here I am.
727
00:24:37,976 --> 00:24:40,562
But you don't seem as happy to
see me as I thought you would.
728
00:24:40,562 --> 00:24:42,564
I am. It's just--
729
00:24:42,564 --> 00:24:44,024
Balls is mad at me.
730
00:24:45,859 --> 00:24:48,112
Maybe you could cheer him up.
731
00:24:48,112 --> 00:24:49,738
Let me see what I can do.
732
00:24:53,742 --> 00:24:55,661
♪ I want you to know ♪
733
00:24:55,661 --> 00:25:00,499
♪ I believe in your song ♪
734
00:25:00,499 --> 00:25:05,504
♪ And rhythm
and rhyme and harmony ♪
735
00:25:05,504 --> 00:25:08,841
♪ You held me long ♪
736
00:25:08,841 --> 00:25:11,385
♪ Making me strong, oh ♪
737
00:25:11,385 --> 00:25:12,886
♪ Gimme the beat, boys ♪
738
00:25:12,886 --> 00:25:14,847
♪ And free my soul ♪
739
00:25:14,847 --> 00:25:17,683
♪ I wanna get lost
in your rock 'n roll ♪
740
00:25:17,683 --> 00:25:20,102
♪ And drift away ♪
741
00:25:20,102 --> 00:25:23,772
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
742
00:25:23,772 --> 00:25:25,107
♪ Gimme the beat, boys ♪
743
00:25:25,107 --> 00:25:27,109
♪ And free my soul ♪
744
00:25:27,109 --> 00:25:29,820
♪ I wanna get lost
in your rock 'n roll ♪
745
00:25:29,820 --> 00:25:33,031
♪ And drift away ♪
746
00:25:33,031 --> 00:25:34,283
♪ Oh ♪
747
00:25:34,283 --> 00:25:37,077
♪ Ohh, yeah, baby ♪
748
00:25:38,203 --> 00:25:43,000
♪ Won't you
take me away? ♪
749
00:25:43,584 --> 00:25:46,211
My God!
That was awesome!
750
00:25:46,211 --> 00:25:47,921
Oh, my God, Balls.
751
00:25:47,921 --> 00:25:51,049
- You're so talented.
- Oh, man, thank you.
752
00:25:51,049 --> 00:25:52,885
Seriously, all right, thank you.
753
00:25:52,885 --> 00:25:56,805
This is, like, the greatest day
of my fuckin' life, ever.
754
00:25:56,805 --> 00:25:58,432
Yeah.
755
00:25:58,432 --> 00:25:59,933
Thank you, too, motherfucker.
756
00:25:59,933 --> 00:26:02,770
Nah, thank you, motherfucker.
757
00:26:02,770 --> 00:26:05,022
You Fred Hammond-sounding
ass bitch.
758
00:26:05,022 --> 00:26:06,774
Where the fuck you been
hiding that shit?
759
00:26:06,774 --> 00:26:08,942
Hey, man, why don't y'all
go on your play date
760
00:26:08,942 --> 00:26:12,279
and leave me alone to bask
in the glory of this shit.
761
00:26:12,279 --> 00:26:13,614
- All right, man.
- Mm.
762
00:26:13,614 --> 00:26:15,783
- So good.
- So damn good.
763
00:26:15,783 --> 00:26:17,034
We gonna go to karaoke.
764
00:26:17,034 --> 00:26:18,786
We gonna fuck some Asians up.
765
00:26:18,786 --> 00:26:20,287
- Yep.
- You know what I'm saying?
766
00:26:20,287 --> 00:26:22,039
What the fuck?
It sounded amazing.
767
00:26:22,039 --> 00:26:23,290
- I'll see you later.
- Fuck, that's amazing.
768
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:28,003
♪ light hip-hop music ♪
769
00:26:42,184 --> 00:26:45,771
All right, so you have
my new number.
770
00:26:45,771 --> 00:26:47,147
Mm-hmm.
771
00:26:47,147 --> 00:26:48,899
- Got that.
- Got it.
772
00:26:48,899 --> 00:26:50,526
- Mm-hmm.
- Sending you dirty stuff ASAP.
773
00:26:50,526 --> 00:26:52,486
Mm-hmm. No, don't.
774
00:26:52,486 --> 00:26:54,696
No, seriously, like,
my phone's a deadly weapon.
775
00:26:54,696 --> 00:26:56,782
- Oh.
- Yeah.
776
00:26:56,782 --> 00:26:58,450
I hope you're not expecting any
of that shit from me, either.
777
00:26:58,450 --> 00:27:00,410
Well, you know, I've, uh,
already seen everything
778
00:27:00,410 --> 00:27:02,120
up close
and personal, so--hmm.
779
00:27:02,120 --> 00:27:03,956
Oh, yeah.
780
00:27:11,421 --> 00:27:13,340
- Uh, I have to go.
- Okay.
781
00:27:13,340 --> 00:27:14,424
I'll walk you out.
782
00:27:14,424 --> 00:27:16,009
- Aww.
- Hey.
783
00:27:17,344 --> 00:27:19,847
I love seeing you walk away,
slow.
784
00:27:19,847 --> 00:27:21,431
- Oh, really?
- It's the best.
785
00:27:21,431 --> 00:27:22,724
Oh, well then, let me just,
you know--
786
00:27:25,602 --> 00:27:28,230
- Ugh.
- Mm? Yeah, you're welcome.
787
00:27:28,230 --> 00:27:30,941
This is the best feeling.
788
00:27:30,941 --> 00:27:34,069
- What's that?
- The beginning of something.
789
00:27:34,069 --> 00:27:35,571
I think I know exactly
what you mean.
790
00:27:35,571 --> 00:27:36,822
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
791
00:27:36,822 --> 00:27:37,865
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
792
00:27:37,865 --> 00:27:40,242
Mmm.
793
00:27:42,870 --> 00:27:44,079
Mmm.
794
00:27:44,079 --> 00:27:46,206
♪ Hip-hop music ♪
795
00:27:46,206 --> 00:27:48,125
There they are. - ♪ Uh, yeah, yeah ♪
796
00:27:48,125 --> 00:27:50,252
Holy fuckin' shit.
797
00:27:50,252 --> 00:27:51,503
♪ Just let me breathe ♪
798
00:27:53,046 --> 00:27:56,216
Yep. Welcome to my world.
799
00:27:56,216 --> 00:27:57,509
♪ Just let me breathe
for a minute ♪
800
00:27:57,509 --> 00:27:58,760
We should go.
801
00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:00,762
♪ Just let me breathe ♪
802
00:28:00,762 --> 00:28:03,724
♪ It's too hot,
drop the top off the wagon ♪
803
00:28:03,724 --> 00:28:07,019
♪ Lay back, blowing fire
like dragon ♪
804
00:28:07,019 --> 00:28:09,021
♪ Man, I'm flying past Saturn ♪
805
00:28:09,021 --> 00:28:11,148
♪ Outta here
like I ain't that savage ♪
806
00:28:11,148 --> 00:28:12,441
♪ No, no, no, no ♪
807
00:28:12,441 --> 00:28:14,443
♪ Two Uzis and rifle ♪
808
00:28:14,443 --> 00:28:17,237
♪ It's like I'm at
the studio with Michael ♪
809
00:28:17,237 --> 00:28:19,281
♪ You can hear me
dancing on the beat ♪
810
00:28:19,281 --> 00:28:22,910
♪ Bam Bam 'bout to put
a mansion on the beach ♪
811
00:28:22,910 --> 00:28:25,120
♪ Hundred Latins in your lobby ♪
812
00:28:25,120 --> 00:28:27,539
♪ That's what happens
when you...around with Body ♪
813
00:28:27,539 --> 00:28:30,208
♪ Uh, and I put that
on my mami ♪
814
00:28:30,208 --> 00:28:32,502
♪ I would never give my heart
to a thotty ♪
815
00:28:32,502 --> 00:28:35,505
♪ If I could just make a dance
that goes with this song ♪
816
00:28:35,505 --> 00:28:38,800
- ♪ Then I'ma be on ♪
- ♪ Uhh, so on ♪
817
00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:41,094
- ♪ Basic...gon' dance to it ♪
- ♪ Everywhere ♪
818
00:28:41,094 --> 00:28:44,056
♪ Basic...everywhere
gon' dance to it ♪
819
00:28:44,056 --> 00:28:46,516
♪ Just let me breathe
for a minute ♪
820
00:28:46,516 --> 00:28:48,977
♪ Just let me breathe
for a minute, uh ♪
821
00:28:48,977 --> 00:28:51,021
♪ Just let me breathe
for a minute ♪
822
00:28:51,021 --> 00:28:54,650
♪ White Range Rover,
blowin' trees all in it ♪
58788
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