All language subtitles for White.Famous.S01E04.Appetites.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DD+5.1.H.264-playWEB_track3_[eng]

Here's what's been
happening on White Famous.

The man with his
first movie in the can.

The goal has always
been white famous.

Maybe I'm just a comic's comic.
Isn't that enough?

What else you got for me?

Some black
responsibility project.

Teddy Snow is writing
and directing it.

That motherfucker's crazy.

- Lloyd.
- Floyd.

This is Gwen.

She's playing
my character's daughter.

You must be Floyd Mooney.

I most certainly am.

There she is, man.
Esther Blaze.

She's a genius.

That was nice.

Am I your first married lady?

- What now?
- You didn't know?

I literally just
got off with Amy,

and she offered me an impossible
to refuse job at her agency.

Best of all,
I get to take you with me.

- Amy thinks the world of you.
- Amy?

- His wife.
- You two, come to my house.

We'll break some bread.

♪ funky hip-hop music ♪

♪ Whoo ♪

♪ Come on, do it ♪

- ♪ Whoo ♪
- ♪ Turn it up ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

- ♪ Whoo ♪
- ♪ Let's go ♪

No, you don't understand, Floyd.

"No" is not an option.

"No" is always an option,
Malcolm.

In the right hands, "no" is
a weapon of mass destruction.

"No" means no, motherfucker.

You gotta go, Floyd.

I'm a grown-ass man.
I ain't got to do shit.

- She's my boss.
- Yep, she's not my boss.

- Technically, I'm her boss.
- Well, technically,

- he's your boss.
- And when it's time to work,

I will show the fuck up.

Far as I know, there's nothing
in that contract

about having dinner
with Hollywood wack-a-doos.

They are batshit crazy,
but you know what?

Peter is the network president
and he writes the checks,

so we play ball,
but that doesn't mean

you can't be subversive.

Jerk off in their bathroom

and rub your dick
all over their drapes.

- Have fun, bro.
- I'm not doing that.

I'm going down to the J-Spot.
It's been way too long.

That's a great idea, Floyd.
And guess what.

You could do it after
because it's a dinner party

and white people
eat mad early.

You eat.
You eat, Floyd.

Balls!
Guess what.

We goin' to a Hollywood
dinner party tonight.

Hey, guess what, man.
Have a good time.

Take some fucking pics for me.

Come on, man,
you gotta come with me.

Hey, man, I'm a grown-ass man.
I ain't got to do shit.

Yes, you do.
I'm yo boss now, motherfucker.

You are my assistant,
so I'm commanding

and demanding that you come.

I never asked to be
your fucking assistant,

and I already got
a fucking job.

And I bet you gon' like all the
free money that comes with it.

The money ain't free, nigga,
if I gotta work for it, man.

Come on, Balls.
I need you.

You are crucial to my sanity
in these situations.

Nope, not moving, man.

This is exactly where
you will find my black ass

- when you get home.
- Please.

All right, Amy says
somebody named Esther Blaze

will be catering
the dinner tonight.

What is this? Does this
mean anything to anyone?

I don't know, Balls.
That mean anything to you?

When we leaving, niggas?
I gotta go clean up.

Balls has gotta wash his balls.

All right, yeah.

Hey, you might wanna
squeeze one out of the chamber.

Don't need you bustin' a nut
at the fuckin' dinner table.

♪ Leather on the seat,
alligator on her feet ♪

♪ Chrome on the handle
gleaming down the street ♪

♪ Fourteen-karat gold
in the grille on my ride ♪

♪ Got a fly Cadillac,
people know what I drive ♪

♪ Once was lost,
now I'm fine and alive ♪

Ooh-ooh-whee!

Yeah!

Now we livin'
like white folks.

Man, these motherfuckers
is seriously papered up.

Hey, Balls, one day, I'ma
get us a crib just like this,

and I'ma hire some bitches
to feed you grapes

and just put lotion
all over your back fat.

Oh, that shit sounds nice,
man.

I'ma hold you to that,
motherfucker, yeah.

- All right, yeah.
- All right, man.

- So what's the plan?
- Plan? What you mean?

What we gonna do if Lady Agent
wants some more of your dick?

In the house she shares
with her husband?

Man, you don't know what these
Caucasians are capable of.

Man, you through
the looking glass, motherfucker.

Facts.

Man, just stay close to me,
all right?

Don't leave me
with the man-eater.

- As you wish.
- All right.

- You got me?
- Got you.

- You sure?
- Positive.

- You fuckin' with me.
- I ain't fuckin' with you.

- You got me 100 percent?
- Go--

- Word? Word is bond?
- Yeah.

- Word is James Bond.
- That's right.

- Word 007?
- I got you.

Double oh, triple oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh--

- Come on, now.
- Okay.

- All right.
- All right.

♪ hip-hop music ♪

Hey, guys.

- How you doing?
- Mm.

Yeah, how you doing?
Ooh, that a little long.

Okay, did somebody die?
Why you huggin' me so long?

- Balls.
- Hey, how you doing?

Hey, Esther's in the kitchen
if you wanna go say hi.

Oh, shit, yeah.

- Where you going?
- Hey, man,

what are you talking about?
I'ma go talk to Esther.

What happened
to sticking by my side?

Hey, man, you a big boy.
Man, stay strong.

Just keep yo' fuckin' dick
in yo' pants, man.

- What was that about?
- What was what?

That little to-do there.

Oh, nothing.
I was talking to my homeboy.

Are you afraid
of being alone with me?

No.
Don't be silly.

Why would I be afraid?

Do you really think
you're that irresistible?

Don't know about irresistible.

I know I got a certain
magnetism, a certain aura,

maybe a feng shui
or something like that.

Mm, that's not
what that word means.

- Word.
- Let's go do the tour, yeah?

Here's a guest room.

Oh, oh, that's ni--
What the--

What the fuck, woman?
In your own fucking house?

Oh, no, Peter's
in the stupid fucking gym.

He's sweating to the oldies.
We have a couple minutes here.

Whoa, what happened
to not doing this shit

while we were fucking
working together?

Yes, you are under
the umbrella of my agency,

but Malcolm's your guy,
so this is no big deal.

Wait, why didn't you
fucking tell me?

Why are you being
such a girl about this?

Does that dress
come with tampons?

Oh, my gosh.
Oh, I'm sorry.

I just thought it may
have been nice to know

I'm smashing the wife
of the big network guy.

I honestly thought you knew,
Floyd.

I'm wearing a huge fucking ring.

Oh, c--I don't know rings.

I don't know shit
about this business of show.

I don't know who's married
to fucking who.

Well, now you know, okay?
So now let's make some memories.

Then why'd you go
and hire fucking Malcolm?

Because I think you're talented.
That's why.

I want to be
in the Floyd Mooney business.

Yeah, you're in my business,
all right.

Yeah, that's my specialty.

I represent in all areas.

Like that one.

How do you want me?
You want me like this?

Hmm?

Irma, what have I told you
about sneaking up on me?

Jesus fuck!

She's new--and sneaky.
She's quiet as a mouse.

I'm pretty sure
she's stealing my Klonopin.

Jesus, woman, you were way more
nicer out in the world.

All right, look, this is not
gonna be a thing, okay?

I'm not gonna
fall in love with you.

I don't wanna have
your mixed-race baby.

I just sometimes get off
on being a little naughty.

My therapist calls it
Oppositional Defiance Disorder.

Oh, well, that's a relief 'cause
I just thought it was called

Crazy White Bitch Syndrome, but,
you know, tomato, tom-ah-to.

Amy, where are you?

Fuck, goddamn it,
why does the sound of his voice

make me want to fucking
claw my eyes out?

Hey.

Oh, Floyd.
How you doing, my brother?

- Hey, man.
- How are you?

- Darling.
- Don't you dare touch me

with your disgusting,
corrosive sweat.

Jesus, all right.
Uh, I was, uh--

I was just working out,
Floyd.

- You know how it goes.
- Yeah.

- What're you two doing in here?
- Hmm?

And-and w-why
is Irma crying?

Oh, I was giving him the tour,

and who the fuck knows
why Irma's ever crying, right?

She is a hysterical ninny.

I'm pretty sure
she's stealing from us.

I can't find my Ativan.
Can you find it?

She's not stealing
from us, Amy, okay?

And you could be
a little nicer to her.

Stu loves her.

Floyd, I wanna
show you something

I think will blow your mind.

Oh.

Yep.

Check it out, big guy.

Wow.

Yes, yes, indeed.
This is it.

This...this is my temple,
Floyd.

This is where--
it's where it all goes down.

You know, if I, uh...

have a hard day at work

or some kind of
screaming round with Amy

that leaves me trembling
and considering self-harm,

I come here
and I work it all out

and I emerge
from my chrysalis...

...a new man.

Well, I gotta say, Peter,
this is, uh--

it's pretty fucking impressive.

How much you bench, kid?

Oh, I don't know.

Why don't you have a go
on one of these bad boys?

Um, nah, I'm good.

Oh, I insist, Floyd.

I'd say your job depends on it.

I'm just kidding.

Or am I?

Come on.

On your back, son.

On your back.

It's kind of seductive,
the way you...

was rubbin' that.
All right.

Nice.

Here we go.

- Let's do it.
- I'm gonna spot you, Floyd.

- You got this?
- I'm not a weak dude now.

You're--oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, that's nice.
Deeper, deeper.

Yeah, push it.
Yeah.

Yeah, deeper, deeper.

Ah, yeah, come on now.
Deeper.

Push it, push it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, push it.

- Oh, what the...?
- Deeper, deeper.

- Yes.
- Ah, ah, ah, ah!

- Oh, shit, sorry.
- Whoa, you-you-you--

- Oh, was I hanging brain?
- You--oh, yeah.

Ah, you know, I should--

I really should remember
to tuck these guys.

♪ peppy percussive music ♪

Lloyd!

Still Floyd, man.

What the fuck
are you doing here, man?

Oh, Stu's an old friend.

He gave me my start
in the business.

He's staying with us
for a while.

- Ah.
- Yeah, the--

the house is being remodeled.

Trying to rid the place
of all the memories of my...

dear, departed wife.
Love of my life, she was.

- Oh.
- I love her more

- than anything.
- Oh, shit, man.

Your wife died?
I'm sorry for your loss.

No, she's very much alive.

Living in middling
hand-to-mouth mediocrity

with a bald, masturbating
squirrel of an agent.

- Oh.
- Actually,

Stu brought Irma with him,
which was a godsend.

Amy seems to have run
the last three out on a rail.

- She has a tendency to rage.
- Yeah, I noticed.

Gotta be careful, Peter.
Much like a hungry cat,

an unfucked woman
has a tendency to stray.

Yeah, and if you're not

giving her a regular diet
of inches in the home,

she will seek those inches
elsewhere.

That's a good point, Stu.

I can be too focused
on my job and my body.

You were so funny
in that movie, by the way.

Thanks, man.

Yeah, almost too funny, really.

Too-too funny?
W-what do you mean?

Well-well, I mean, you-you got
a few too many laughs.

I mean, literally.

What the fuck is wrong
with that?

Like, how can you have
too many laughs?

Foxx wasn't pleased.

But aren't laughs good
for a comedy?

Well, absolutely, yeah.

Yeah, but not good
for his movie star ego.

- Fuck. I had no idea.
- Of course not. Of course not.

But don't sweat it, man.
They're not gonna cut you out.

Oh.

I mean, well, maybe.

I don't think.

Well, I mean, they could.

But I don't think so.

You know, maybe
they will just minimize.

Just a C-hair or two, just...

Minimize?
I'm barely in the fucking thing.

Hey, pointless to be upset
about it now, Lloyd.

You know?
Damage is already done,

and just chips fall
where they may.

And you're on to the next one.
You're my star now.

And, gentlemen, I hope you
don't mind if I take my leave.

I feel I must
check in on milady,

and also I must
clean up for supper.

Oh, God.

♪ upbeat music ♪

Amy, hi.

Thank you for having us
in your home.

I have to introduce you
to Rayna.

She is the number one unboxer
on YouTube.

Delightful!

And what exactly
the fuck is that exactly?

Basically, I just tape myself
unboxing packages.

You know, from,
like, Amazon and stuff,

and it could be
anything, like...

a brand-new video game console
or a toy.

Really anything
as long as it's something

that people are excited about
in the culture.

- In the culture, of course.
- Of course, exactly.

Yeah, my audience
just loves when I do it.

It's like a thrill ride
for them or something.

Unboxing something
you really want, but with boobs.

I know it's really
all about the ladies.

- Yeah.
- These two cuties. Boop.

- Ow.
- Oh. Ha.

They're my costars.

- I'm no fool.
- You--no, you most certainly

are not a fool.

It is a pleasure
to meet you, Rayna.

- Oh, thank you.
- Peter, this is the one

I was telling you about.

Homey, she is going
to be very big

- in television and film.
- Yes, we must discuss--

All right, I need to talk to you
about the Jamie Foxx movie.

Not now, Floyd.
I'm with a client.

Client?

Hey, what's going on,
fellas? How's it going?

- This is--
- Gwen.

Yeah, we know--we know Gwen.

Hi, Amy, Peter.

- Hello, Gwen. How are you?
- Hello. I'm good.

Are you guy together?

No, this is, uh,
strictly professional.

W-we're not gonna be sleeping
together on this project.

Oh, she's in the pilot.
I didn't realize.

Listen, I merely put in
a good word for her.

- The rest was up to Teddy.
- No, that-that's not how

the casting director
phrased it to me.

The casting director said
she was a must hire.

Thank God you can act.

What's for dinner?
What are we gonna eat?

♪ hip-hop music ♪

- Oh.
- Yeah, that's hot.

Feeling good.

Ah, "Angry blacks."

So, Gwen, it looks like
you finally got

that acting career
you always wanted.

Yeah, it's a dream
come true, really,

and working for you
helped so much,

- so I appreciate it.
- Well, you know what?

The real question is,
is who's representing you?

- Because your boy right here--
- Malcolm, don't be an amateur.

There's no poaching
at this table.

All right, here we go.

There, my dear.
There, my baby dear.

Just close those legs
a little bit.

Uterus up.

All right.

Hello.

So...
I'll be the designated asshole.

Stu, w-w-w-what's
with the doll?

- I understand it's strange...
- No.

...and I'm trying
to wean myself off of milady.

But I suffered from
a significant heartbreak

years ago, and I find
this representation

of my immortal beloved
comforts me.

- Especially at night...
- Yeah.

...when the monsters come.

We understand, Stu.
You do what you need to do,

because you are
among friends here.

No, no, no, Peter, you're
gonna placate this bullshit?

I think it's fucking
loony tunes, Stu.

I think you're out of your tree.

But do what you gotta do
to fight those monsters, huh.

Thank you, Teddy.

And I would expect nothing less

from a visionary artist
such as yourself.

- I got a question.
- Uh, anything, Lloyd.

Do y'all do it?

Well, um, as I said,
I've been trying to wean myself,

but...we used
to make it constantly

with wild, reckless abandon.

But there was a great deal
of cleanup involved...

- Ugh.
- And I started to feel bad

for Irma.

Ay, dios mío.

Well, at least someone's
getting fucked.

- Am I right?
- Sorry, what was that, dear?

- You're muttering again.
- Nothing.

Nothing sweetheart.
Um, Esther.

- Yeah?
- The food is incredible.

- Thank you so much, Amy.
- Yeah, yeah.

I mean, seriously,
this is the greatest meal

I've ever had in my life,
made by the most amazing woman

I've ever met in my life.

Balls, you are so sweet.

You know what?
I could just eat you up.

Be my guest.

Are you guys high?

Significantly.

And, uh--and what is it
that you do, Mr. Balls?

Yo, it's just Balls, man.

It's just Balls.

What do you do,
Just Balls?

- I'm a U.S. postal worker.
- Fascinating.

Not really,
motherfucker.

Why are rich people
always so interested

in what poor people do, huh?

Well, do you have
Hollywood aspirations?

- None whatsoever.
- So interesting.

Don't get me wrong,
I love movies,

but I don't want anything
to do with the business.

I mean, too much fucking
bullshit, if you ask me.

Copy that.
Balls is one smart motherfucker.

I run all my bits
and let him read all my scripts.

I trust him way more
than I trust

fucking Malcolm over there.

That's a spectacularly shitty
thing to say Floyd,

especially to the man
who's responsible

for your Hollywood
breakthrough.

Whoa.
Whoa!

If I hadn't have put
my foot in my mouth,

Floyd here would still be
playing on the chitlin circuit.

Hey, you don't get points
for being a racist, okay?

Who capitalized on that?
This dude.

And this dude is sitting
right fucking here,

and he would have been
just fine

before you two
fucking stepped in.

I really wish
you were still my assistant

so I could fire you again.

Amy, I-I thought we were
on good terms.

Oh, we are.
Hey, hey.

You're not really gonna sleep
with this D-bag, are you?

Oh, I wasn't
planning on it, no.

Okay.

Oh, come on, Amy, be nice.

Oh, come on, Amy, be nice.

Floyd, tell me.

What do make of this
golden age of television?

Huh. I don't know
if it's golden age.

It's all bullshit
if you ask me.

- Really? Why do you say that?
- I don't know.

There's just too many shows,
not enough good ones,

and the critics
blow their chunky loads

all over
the most pretentious ones.

Movies is where it's at
if you ask me.

Movies is having
a hard time too.

I mean, look, TV now
is what '90s indies were.

And there's plenty of dog shit
mixed in with the good stuff.

You should hire these guys
as executives, Peter.

They're better
than those ass clowns

- you have at the network.
- Fuck that shit, man.

He would never hire a big,
fat black guy to work for him.

Oh, yeah?
What makes you say that?

Because it's true.

And even with
all your "diversity" hires,

Hollywood is still
fucking racist as shit.

Church!

You, my friend, are right.

Actually, I have
a confession to make.

I said the N word today.

What the fuck
are you talking about?

What?

Huh?

That fucking shit's crazy.

- The fuck you laughing at?
- Yo, man.

I'm sorry, man.
I'm sorry.

I'm just so fucking high
right now,

you know what I'm saying?

And this shit right here
is gonna be funny.

Are you serious, Peter?

Oh, I'm perfectly serious.

Are you fucking retarded?

Are you retarded?
What the fuck, Peter?

You said the N word publicly
and you didn't tell me?

Now we have to get
in front of this thing.

Oh, calm down, Amy.
Of course I didn't

say it in public.
I'm not an idiot.

No, I merely thought it
in my head.

But, I mean, it did shock me.
I mean, it really,

oof,
shook me to my core.

Oh, my fucking God, where are
you going with this, Peter?

Okay, I'll tell you
where I'm going with this.

I was hoping to take advantage
of our esteemed guests

and glean their insight.

In fact, would you allow me

to pick your African-American
brains, gentlemen?

Something tells me
you gon' do it anyway.

Yes, please, motherfucker.
Anything.

Okay, great,
well, here's my question.

Um, is it ever okay

for a white person
to use the N word?

In my experience,
it's not.

Uh, in my experience,
it will always come back

- to bite you on the ass.
- With all due respect, Stu,

I'm-I'm slightly
more interested

in what Floyd and Balls
have to say.

Gotcha.

Boys...thoughts?

Oh, well, that-that-that
just depends on the context.

What were you thinking about
when you thought it?

Well, I was perusing
some pornography,

as we men are wont to do,

and I happened upon a--

well, a delicious, uh,
subgenre, uh, called, um...

uh, cuckold porn.

- Now, now, bear with me--
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh, oh, oh,
I love this genre, Peter.

In fact, Marcy and I
used to role-play scenes

where we would cuckold
her ex, now current husband.

Didn't we, dear?
It was--it was so much fun.

Anyway,
so a white woman--

a MILF, if you will--
is, uh, having sex

with a, um...uh, stunning

African-American Adonis
while her--

her meek husband
watches, helpless,

and she--and she keeps saying

over and over and over,

"Give me more
of that N word dick.

Give me more
of that N word dick.

Give me more
of that N word dick."

Anyway, um, yet later that day,
I-I found myself saying it

over and over and over again
in my head.

I mean, it was--I mean, it was--
it was frankly

hypnotic and-and tribal.

I-I felt incredibly guilty,
because--that's odd, really,

because, you know,
I consider myself pretty woke.

Nope, nope, nope.

Did he just say "woke,"
or am I imagining that shit?

Nah, he said "woke," man.

Peter, you should be
embarrassed talking like that.

You just sent a wave
of douche chills down my spin.

I could throw something at you
right now.

That shit's just funny, man.

Interesting.

Well, why do you keep saying
"interesting"?

This isn't NPR, Peter.

This is a condescending,

stupid conversation
that you started.

Do you know what?
That's interesting too.

Because that leads me to
another question for you guys.

Is it ever okay
for a white writer

to write the N-word?

- Tread carefully.
- All right.

You, my friend,
you need to

strip that word
out of the script.

You don't give me script notes
at the dinner table, okay?

I will unleash
the fucking kraken.

You want me to hit you
with the fucking Hein

right here at the dinner table?

We have a responsibility, Teddy.

To whom?

You're just angry 'cause
I brought Gwen to dinner.

Oh, don't be ridiculous.

- "Don't be ridiculous."
- We love Gwen.

Stick some fucking mayonnaise
in your tea, you fuck.

Listen, look,
if you're reduced to broad

cultural stereotypes--

Fuck you. Fuck the Beatles.
And fuck you.

The Beatles have
nothing to do with your...

- Yeah, well, fuck you.
- ...latent racism, Edward.

Yeah.

I guess there's
some history here.

I'm sensing some serious juju.

Honestly, you know, it's not
really worth going into.

Gwen was our nanny.
She was a great nanny.

- She was.
- Thank you.

She was also great
at sucking Peter's cock.

Oh, my God, Amy.
That's incredibly rude.

Why would you unpack
our private business

in front of our guests?

Peter, look around.

Our guests include a woman
who unpacks things for a living.

- Uh-uh, unboxes.
- What?

- It's called unboxing.
- Whatever the fuck.

Also, there's a life-sized
sex doll sitting at our table.

Don't call her a sex doll.

Don't reduce it to that.
That's ugly, Amy.

Sorry, Stu. My bad,
you fucking freak.

So she didn't suck your cock?

She did not suck my cock.

Did you suck his cock?

I didn't suck anyone's
anything. I swear.

- Then what happened?
- All right,

it was an inappropriate
texting relationship.

I will--I will give you that.

That resulted in her
sucking your cock?

She did not suck my cock!

All...all right.

It was perhaps
a-a furtive hand job

whilst I sucked on one of her
breasts, okay? Happy now?

Whoa!

You know that porn
you were talking about, Peter?

That wasn't make believe.
That was real life.

That's actually happening
to you right now.

You've been cuckolded.

Wait, what?

You used your hall pass?

You were supposed
to tell me first.

Fuck you
and fuck your dumb fucking face,

you narcissistic
preening asshole.

Who is he?
Who is he?

I will have him hung, drawn,

and fucking quartered!

Oh, you want me
to tell you who it is

in front of
all these fucking freaks?

Come on, I dare you.
Come on.

Would that
get your wiener hard?

- I'll tell.
- I dare you, you fucking--

- Someone in this room--
- Enough!

You motherfuckers are crazy.

Talkin' the N word
like you some high-minded

Hollywood philosophers
and we're just some

visiting dignitaries
from Planet Blackland.

You want to know the guidelines
on the N word?

Don't fuckin' say it.

Don't fuckin' write it down.

It's never gonna sound warm and
fuzzy comin' from a white guy.

Plus, there's a certain artistry
in its usage,

and most white people
are fuckin' tone-deaf.

- Well...
- You wanna--you wanna

see white women
get railed by black dudes

while you play with
your pale, sweaty balls?

Be my guest.

But leave this nigga out of it.

Mister! Mister! Miss!

Mr. Teddy, he take big potty
in pool!

Oh, for fuck's sake, Irma.
English!

Mr. Teddy go shit in the pool!

It's floating everywhere!

All right,
now we're talkin'.

♪ tense hip-hop music ♪

Hey, man.

Esther invited us
to her restaurant for dessert.

You wanna come?

Nah, I'm good, man.

You go have some fun.

But hey, close that shit, bro.

Hey, man, you lookin' at
the last fuckin' Boy Scout, man.

I'm happy to take it slow.

'Cause when you rush things,

you end up in a big bowl
of chaos, you know what I mean?

You know what?
I said this a thousand times,

but you a wise man, Balls.

You good?

Yeah, I'm good.

A'ight, 'cause this shit
was fuckin' crazy.

I know. I know.

Yo, I love being
on the outside looking in, man,

but I know it's not
as much fun for you.

I'd trade places with you
any day, Balls.

Sorry, brother.

Stay strong, man.

Keep yo' dick in yo' pants.

Hold on to your
precious bodily fluid.

All right, okay.

Hey.

You okay over there?

Yeah, I'm good.

Crazy fuckin' night, huh?

Yeah, I don't know
what I expected

coming back here.

Forgot what monsters
they are.

I mean, this house
must be built

directly over a Hellmouth.

How long'd you work for him?

A few years.

Just long enough to get caught
up in all their dysfunction.

Just seemed like a great gig
for an aspiring actress.

Well, you know what they say.

What do they say?

Never hire a hot fuckin' nanny.

Hey, wait, wait a minute.
This ain't no...

...this ain't no setup, is it?

Like, Teddy ain't gonna pop out

with some confetti
or no shit like that, right?

- No, no.
- That ain't gonna happen?

Teddy's gone, I promise.

- Word?
- Yeah, he's gone.

He ain't gonna say "cut,"
right?

No, he's gone, I promise.

Okay, all right.

Left me to get an Uber.

You know what?
I'll give you a ride.

You sure?

Yeah.
Come on.

Thanks.

- Hey.
- Mm.

Don't expect me
to fuck you, though.

Okay.

Ah, look at you.

You laughin'.

I'm serious.

Nobody's getting any
of this dick tonight.

♪ Shirt's "Phantom"
playing ♪

You wanna give me some head,
though, I'm cool.

Nah, I'm just playin'.

"No dick" policy stays.

♪ I'm gonna need those props,
I done came this far ♪

♪ I'm 'bout to get busy,
shit's 'bout to get sick ♪

♪ You don't have to support ♪

♪ You can suck my dick,
that's a banana split ♪

♪ Shit's getting out of hand ♪

♪ I can tell you to scram
but you make a good fan ♪

♪ How am I gonna be the one
to tell you ♪

♪ Why I'm breaking up the band,
Oh, you need my help ♪

♪ Don't hold your breath ♪

♪ This ain't about hate,
I know what you meant ♪

♪ It's all business,
look I sold your percent ♪

♪ It's not about me
trying to break your heart ♪

♪ Not about me
trying to hurt it ♪

♪ It's about me making sure
the only people ♪

♪ That's left around me are
the people that deserve it ♪

♪ And I kept my number
the same for years, my nigga ♪

♪ Now I'm 'bout to be ghost ♪

♪ I really hope
you don't catch no feelings ♪

- ♪ Hey, watch out, watch out ♪
- ♪ Be cool now ♪

♪ Don't do nothing,
oh, forget it ♪

♪ Do what the hell you want,
I could care less ♪

♪ I don't give a shit,
boy, I got so much to do ♪

♪ Feel I got so much to prove ♪

♪ I don't need no drama,
dummies, or new friends ♪

♪ All I need is me
and my crew ♪

- ♪ What you gonna do ♪
- ♪ Be cool now ♪

♪ Gonna bitch
the rest of your life ♪

♪ What you gonna piss away
this night ♪

♪ All these hot chicks
waiting in line ♪

♪ Nigga, drop the act,
learn how to act ♪

♪ We gon' drop a stack,
we gon' make it back ♪

♪ We gon' make her mad,
we gon' make her laugh ♪

♪ She loves me
but she hates that ♪

♪ That Maybach is nonexistent ♪

♪ Car service,
you might miss it ♪