Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,770 --> 00:00:06,163
(upbeat music)
2
00:00:06,239 --> 00:00:09,174
(garbage bin rattling)
3
00:00:10,786 --> 00:00:13,378
- Look who's got elephant dung.
4
00:00:13,389 --> 00:00:14,557
(flies buzzing)
They were just giving
5
00:00:14,581 --> 00:00:15,797
it away at the circus.
6
00:00:15,874 --> 00:00:17,466
- The circus?
7
00:00:17,542 --> 00:00:20,260
They exploit animals
and hairy ladies!
8
00:00:20,271 --> 00:00:22,846
- But it is for
an organic garden!
9
00:00:22,923 --> 00:00:25,182
Being good is so hard.
10
00:00:25,258 --> 00:00:26,683
(car horn honking)
11
00:00:26,694 --> 00:00:27,851
(car engine rumbling)
12
00:00:27,928 --> 00:00:29,319
Oh God, it's my dad.
13
00:00:29,396 --> 00:00:30,487
Did he see us?
14
00:00:31,615 --> 00:00:33,367
(car door slamming)
(Helen humming)
15
00:00:33,391 --> 00:00:35,161
- I got some grub
from the Soul Shack.
16
00:00:35,185 --> 00:00:37,819
Man, those folks can
make some colored greens.
17
00:00:37,896 --> 00:00:39,863
- Dad, it's collard greens.
18
00:00:39,940 --> 00:00:41,832
- Right, and it's
collared people.
19
00:00:41,909 --> 00:00:43,366
Use your head, Helen.
20
00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:45,118
Oh, it stinks out here.
21
00:00:45,195 --> 00:00:46,536
I'm eating inside.
22
00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:50,207
- My dad is insane and
ignorant and offensive.
23
00:00:50,283 --> 00:00:53,376
Is it so hard for him
to say African American?
24
00:00:53,453 --> 00:00:55,273
Wait, is that what we're
supposed to call them now?
25
00:00:55,297 --> 00:00:58,340
- I heard someone swear that
it's people of color now.
26
00:00:58,416 --> 00:00:59,558
- Ugh, impossible!
27
00:00:59,635 --> 00:01:01,154
That's just colored
people in reverse
28
00:01:01,178 --> 00:01:02,561
and I know that's not right!
29
00:01:02,638 --> 00:01:04,888
- Who decides these things?
30
00:01:04,965 --> 00:01:08,225
- Oh, there's a big convention
every year where all
31
00:01:08,301 --> 00:01:11,269
the minorities get together
to hash these things out.
32
00:01:11,346 --> 00:01:12,813
Last year they've spent
most of time figuring out
33
00:01:12,823 --> 00:01:14,314
what to call Puff Daddy.
34
00:01:14,325 --> 00:01:16,566
(light music)
35
00:01:16,643 --> 00:01:18,118
♪ Lady love ♪
36
00:01:18,195 --> 00:01:20,862
♪ Or make, make me ♪
37
00:01:20,939 --> 00:01:22,697
- He'd know the answer!
38
00:01:22,774 --> 00:01:24,658
Wait, you can't just ask him!
39
00:01:24,668 --> 00:01:25,826
- Why not?
40
00:01:25,902 --> 00:01:27,255
The world is a
pretty simple place
41
00:01:27,279 --> 00:01:29,746
if you're open and
honest with people.
42
00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:31,217
Hi, Ray!
(Helen gasps)
43
00:01:31,241 --> 00:01:33,281
Uh, we wanted to ask
you a quick question.
44
00:01:33,326 --> 00:01:34,804
Do you...
- Want some squash?
45
00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:36,253
Home grown, pesticide free!
46
00:01:36,329 --> 00:01:38,806
- You know, I don't
eat vegetables.
47
00:01:38,882 --> 00:01:41,341
And you folks don't eat meat.
48
00:01:41,352 --> 00:01:42,425
- Meat is murder.
49
00:01:42,502 --> 00:01:44,261
- Exactly, Ubuntu.
50
00:01:44,337 --> 00:01:46,596
You see, Ray, we don't
eat meat or dairy
51
00:01:46,673 --> 00:01:48,473
so we are called vegans.
52
00:01:48,550 --> 00:01:49,724
Even Che is vegan.
53
00:01:49,801 --> 00:01:51,279
- A vegan dog.
(Che slobbering)
54
00:01:51,303 --> 00:01:53,478
(Che groaning)
(heart pounding)
55
00:01:53,555 --> 00:01:55,605
(Che panting)
56
00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:58,191
(Che whimpering)
57
00:01:58,268 --> 00:02:03,122
(squirrel chirping)
(suspenseful music)
58
00:02:05,025 --> 00:02:07,242
(Che barking)
59
00:02:07,319 --> 00:02:08,952
- Look, Che is trying to warn
60
00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:11,246
his squirrel friend
to be careful.
61
00:02:11,257 --> 00:02:12,255
Good for him.
62
00:02:12,256 --> 00:02:13,707
We have so many missing animals
63
00:02:13,783 --> 00:02:15,292
already in this neighborhood.
64
00:02:15,368 --> 00:02:20,264
(light dramatic music)
(birds chirping)
65
00:02:21,041 --> 00:02:21,882
(Che panting)
(suspenseful music)
66
00:02:21,958 --> 00:02:24,509
(Che gagging)
67
00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:26,219
So, about our question...
68
00:02:26,296 --> 00:02:28,263
- As I was saying,
we are called vegans,
69
00:02:28,340 --> 00:02:32,192
just like you and people of
your background are called nee...
70
00:02:34,721 --> 00:02:36,813
- Huh?
71
00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:41,234
- Afr... (Ray grunting)
72
00:02:41,245 --> 00:02:43,620
- Blah.
(dog barking)
73
00:02:45,065 --> 00:02:47,708
(birds chirping)
74
00:02:49,328 --> 00:02:51,536
- What do we call Obama?
- President?
75
00:02:51,613 --> 00:02:53,330
But we can't call Ray that.
76
00:02:53,406 --> 00:02:54,998
- Ray, I like black.
77
00:02:55,075 --> 00:02:57,801
(upbeat music)
78
00:03:03,508 --> 00:03:07,311
(singing in foreign language)
79
00:03:15,971 --> 00:03:17,646
♪ The Goode Family ♪
80
00:03:17,722 --> 00:03:20,607
(light music)
81
00:03:20,618 --> 00:03:23,535
(keyboard clicking)
82
00:03:24,604 --> 00:03:26,363
- Waste not, want not.
83
00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:27,864
(scissors clicking)
84
00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:30,533
- Guys, there's a waning
moon on my birthday!
85
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:31,868
- That's right, Ubuntu!
86
00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:34,287
In two days it'll be 16 years
87
00:03:34,364 --> 00:03:36,017
since we welcomed
you into our lives.
88
00:03:36,041 --> 00:03:38,375
(light music)
(baby crying)
89
00:03:38,451 --> 00:03:40,761
- [Helen] We wanted to do
our part to fight racism
90
00:03:40,837 --> 00:03:45,048
and inequality in the world,
so we adopted an African baby.
91
00:03:45,125 --> 00:03:47,384
- Turns out, we
forgot to check a box
92
00:03:47,460 --> 00:03:49,728
and we got you
from South Africa.
93
00:03:51,464 --> 00:03:53,864
But we showed that with a lot
of love and a little guidance
94
00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:57,936
the offspring of two
criminal racist Afrikaners
95
00:03:58,013 --> 00:04:01,615
could become a gentle
socially conscious young man.
96
00:04:01,692 --> 00:04:04,067
- Yeah!
- So, Ubuntu!
97
00:04:04,144 --> 00:04:05,694
The big 16!
98
00:04:05,770 --> 00:04:06,956
What you want for your birthday?
99
00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:08,405
- I wanna drive!
100
00:04:08,481 --> 00:04:09,823
- Another driver?
101
00:04:09,899 --> 00:04:11,616
WWAGD?
102
00:04:11,693 --> 00:04:13,076
What would Al Gore Do?
103
00:04:13,153 --> 00:04:15,745
- Now, Ubuntu, with
greater emissions
104
00:04:15,822 --> 00:04:18,048
comes greater responsibility.
105
00:04:18,125 --> 00:04:19,965
(keys jingling)
- I don't get to drive?
106
00:04:20,035 --> 00:04:21,035
Aw, man.
107
00:04:22,304 --> 00:04:23,920
- How is this for a compromise?
108
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:25,764
Ubuntu can get his license,
109
00:04:25,841 --> 00:04:28,842
but he can only drive
in an emergency.
110
00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:31,395
(light music)
111
00:04:32,922 --> 00:04:37,017
- Well, I guess, but
only for emergencies.
112
00:04:37,027 --> 00:04:38,518
- Sure, emergencies!
113
00:04:38,595 --> 00:04:40,020
Fine!
114
00:04:40,096 --> 00:04:42,772
Come on tornado, that doesn't
hurt any people or animals!
115
00:04:42,849 --> 00:04:46,109
(Ubuntu mimicking
car engine rumbling)
116
00:04:46,186 --> 00:04:48,820
- Who said parenting is hard?
117
00:04:48,897 --> 00:04:50,947
(keyboard clicking)
118
00:04:51,024 --> 00:04:52,374
Now on to Bliss.
119
00:04:53,568 --> 00:04:56,453
"And when he wasn't looking,
I sniffed his neck."
120
00:04:56,529 --> 00:04:57,421
Is this about boy?
121
00:04:57,497 --> 00:04:59,372
- No, nothing!
122
00:04:59,449 --> 00:05:01,008
Look, Octomom!
123
00:05:01,084 --> 00:05:04,428
- Come on, Bliss,
we have no secrets.
124
00:05:04,504 --> 00:05:06,388
Right, Bliss?
125
00:05:06,465 --> 00:05:07,683
Right?
(door slamming)
126
00:05:07,707 --> 00:05:08,631
Did you see that?
127
00:05:08,708 --> 00:05:10,675
She wouldn't even listen to me!
128
00:05:10,686 --> 00:05:13,386
- Don't worry, if you weren't
close she wouldn't feel
129
00:05:13,463 --> 00:05:15,472
comfortable ignoring
you like that.
130
00:05:15,548 --> 00:05:17,524
(light music)
131
00:05:21,063 --> 00:05:23,438
(electric car whirring)
132
00:05:23,449 --> 00:05:26,024
- I need quality
time with Bliss.
133
00:05:26,101 --> 00:05:28,818
Nothing brings a mother and
daughter closer than shopping
134
00:05:28,895 --> 00:05:31,071
at a high end organic
grocery store.
135
00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:34,032
- Ugh, One Earth
is so expensive,
136
00:05:34,109 --> 00:05:36,159
and it is two for
Tuesday at Sav Big.
137
00:05:36,236 --> 00:05:37,660
- We can't shop there,
138
00:05:37,737 --> 00:05:39,715
they don't even have
a mission statement.
139
00:05:39,739 --> 00:05:40,739
Come one, Bliss.
140
00:05:42,242 --> 00:05:43,541
(light music)
141
00:05:43,618 --> 00:05:45,221
It's so nice we get to...
- All right, see ya.
142
00:05:45,245 --> 00:05:47,504
- Oh, oh.
143
00:05:47,580 --> 00:05:49,225
- [Announcer] Attention,
One Earth shoppers.
144
00:05:49,249 --> 00:05:51,449
Check out the big board
to see how you can limit
145
00:05:51,510 --> 00:05:53,009
the impact of your existence.
146
00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:53,968
- [Helen] Ooh.
147
00:05:54,045 --> 00:05:57,472
(sign clicking)
148
00:05:57,549 --> 00:05:59,816
(sign beeping)
149
00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:07,657
(sign dinging)
(sign buzzing)
150
00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:17,867
(Helen humming)
151
00:06:17,944 --> 00:06:19,536
(light dramatic music)
152
00:06:19,612 --> 00:06:21,129
Oh!
153
00:06:21,206 --> 00:06:22,497
Hm?
154
00:06:22,574 --> 00:06:24,124
(Helen gasps)
155
00:06:24,134 --> 00:06:25,509
Oh!
156
00:06:25,585 --> 00:06:27,210
(register beeping)
157
00:06:27,287 --> 00:06:31,214
- Helen, it's such a
nice surprise to see
you shopping here.
158
00:06:31,291 --> 00:06:32,215
(Helen chuckling)
159
00:06:32,292 --> 00:06:34,509
- Oh, you always
say that, Margo!
160
00:06:34,586 --> 00:06:36,970
- Because it's always true!
161
00:06:37,046 --> 00:06:38,221
They're poor!
162
00:06:38,298 --> 00:06:40,276
Helen's husband works
for my husband, Kent,
163
00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:41,483
over at the college.
164
00:06:42,403 --> 00:06:44,196
- With, our husbands
work with each other.
165
00:06:44,220 --> 00:06:46,062
- 146.57.
166
00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:47,897
- Here's $150.
167
00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:50,191
- Do you have reusable bags?
168
00:06:50,268 --> 00:06:51,901
(dramatic music)
169
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:54,571
- No, well, I mean,
yes, of course!
170
00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:57,457
Just not with me now.
171
00:06:57,534 --> 00:06:58,534
Hm?
172
00:06:59,244 --> 00:07:01,077
(Helen gasps)
173
00:07:01,154 --> 00:07:02,579
- Oh, right.
174
00:07:02,655 --> 00:07:03,695
Do you wanna buy one?
175
00:07:03,740 --> 00:07:04,747
It's for the Earth.
176
00:07:04,824 --> 00:07:07,592
(register dinging)
177
00:07:10,246 --> 00:07:11,171
I see.
178
00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:12,589
So what will it be?
179
00:07:12,665 --> 00:07:14,716
Paper or plastic?
180
00:07:14,792 --> 00:07:19,646
(baby crying)
(shoppers gasping)
181
00:07:22,192 --> 00:07:26,111
Paper or plastic?
(baby crying)
182
00:07:30,317 --> 00:07:31,900
- Nothing.
183
00:07:31,976 --> 00:07:32,976
Load me up.
184
00:07:34,312 --> 00:07:36,696
I know a lot of people are
comfortable shopping with
185
00:07:36,773 --> 00:07:38,832
reusable bags but I'm not!
186
00:07:38,909 --> 00:07:40,283
They're made in sweatshops.
187
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:42,627
(woman groaning)
188
00:07:42,704 --> 00:07:45,121
Got run, Bliss, where is she?
189
00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:47,343
- If the Declaration of
Independence was written today,
190
00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:49,136
it wouldn't be written,
it'd be a documentary.
191
00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:50,804
That's why I'm
documentary film maker.
192
00:07:50,828 --> 00:07:52,795
Gotten a bunch of
my work on YouTube.
193
00:07:52,872 --> 00:07:54,005
- Cool!
194
00:07:54,082 --> 00:07:55,851
(electric car whirring)
- Should we park?
195
00:07:55,875 --> 00:07:59,177
- This space is a little
too tight to parallel park.
196
00:07:59,254 --> 00:08:00,553
- Gonna park!
197
00:08:00,564 --> 00:08:03,640
(electric car whirring)
(Gerald groaning)
198
00:08:03,716 --> 00:08:05,611
- On Saturday, I've been
hired by this freak group
199
00:08:05,635 --> 00:08:07,018
to document their message.
200
00:08:07,095 --> 00:08:08,686
What they don't know is
I'm gonna Michael Moore it.
201
00:08:08,697 --> 00:08:11,189
Pull a 360 and give
it my own spin.
202
00:08:11,266 --> 00:08:13,575
- Looks like your daughter
is on a Treyvon's spell.
203
00:08:13,652 --> 00:08:15,568
Who could blame her?
204
00:08:15,579 --> 00:08:16,653
- Treyvon?
205
00:08:16,729 --> 00:08:18,374
He must be the
one with the neck.
206
00:08:18,398 --> 00:08:19,864
She was so secretive.
207
00:08:19,941 --> 00:08:21,658
That's teenagers for ya, huh?
208
00:08:21,734 --> 00:08:23,023
- Oh, no!
209
00:08:23,024 --> 00:08:25,328
That's not how it is
with my daughter, Sylia.
210
00:08:25,405 --> 00:08:30,291
We communicate openly and
honestly and constantly!
211
00:08:30,368 --> 00:08:32,710
When I knew my Sylia
was sexually active,
212
00:08:32,787 --> 00:08:34,671
because she told me, of course,
213
00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:37,006
I took her to the reproductive
health center on campus!
214
00:08:37,083 --> 00:08:39,592
- You think Bliss
is sexually active?
215
00:08:39,669 --> 00:08:40,876
- I don't know.
216
00:08:40,954 --> 00:08:43,346
But I'm appalled that
you don't know either!
217
00:08:43,423 --> 00:08:45,863
- My daughter and I held each
other and cried with happiness
218
00:08:45,934 --> 00:08:47,976
since the doctor
measured her cervix.
219
00:08:48,052 --> 00:08:49,602
- Hm?
- You know, it really is
220
00:08:49,679 --> 00:08:51,688
important to be close
to your daughter.
221
00:08:51,764 --> 00:08:52,847
- We're close!
222
00:08:52,924 --> 00:08:56,693
(light dramatic music)
(laptop thudding)
223
00:08:56,769 --> 00:08:58,152
- Oh, you'd better be.
224
00:08:58,229 --> 00:09:00,697
Otherwise, who was she going
to learn about sex from?
225
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:01,614
The internet?
226
00:09:01,691 --> 00:09:03,324
The Pussycat Dolls?
227
00:09:03,401 --> 00:09:05,702
Oh, it's skanky
out there, Helen.
228
00:09:05,778 --> 00:09:07,298
- Or the other
extreme is even worse.
229
00:09:07,322 --> 00:09:08,654
She could be influenced
230
00:09:09,666 --> 00:09:11,611
by some sexually repressed
religious fanatics.
231
00:09:11,635 --> 00:09:13,626
- This is such a
critical age for Bliss.
232
00:09:13,703 --> 00:09:15,679
If you can't connect
with her right now
233
00:09:15,755 --> 00:09:16,972
you could lose her forever.
234
00:09:17,999 --> 00:09:19,479
(light dramatic music)
- No.
235
00:09:21,270 --> 00:09:22,938
- [Announcer] Attention
One Earth shoppers,
236
00:09:22,962 --> 00:09:25,888
the driver of the
SUV is in aisle four.
237
00:09:25,965 --> 00:09:30,727
He's wearing the baseball cap.
238
00:09:30,803 --> 00:09:33,104
(light music)
239
00:09:33,181 --> 00:09:34,397
(Che sniffing)
240
00:09:34,474 --> 00:09:36,283
(Che grunting)
241
00:09:36,359 --> 00:09:38,401
(cranks clicking)
242
00:09:38,478 --> 00:09:40,903
- Dad, are you spinning
toilet paper again?
243
00:09:40,980 --> 00:09:43,031
- Your mother accidentally
bought two-ply.
244
00:09:43,107 --> 00:09:44,657
But don't worry, I fixed it.
245
00:09:48,446 --> 00:09:51,289
- So, saw you
talking to Treyvon.
246
00:09:51,366 --> 00:09:53,416
H-O-T-T, hott!
247
00:09:53,493 --> 00:09:55,760
Are you guys serious or
you just keeping it cas?
248
00:09:57,747 --> 00:09:59,422
But it's cool, it's all cool!
249
00:09:59,499 --> 00:10:02,675
Sex is cool, we should
just hang and rap about it.
250
00:10:02,686 --> 00:10:03,696
Know what I'm sayin'?
251
00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:05,178
- God, I hope not.
252
00:10:05,254 --> 00:10:07,722
I gotta go to the mall and
get Ubuntu's birthday gift.
253
00:10:07,799 --> 00:10:09,807
- I'll take you.
- Great.
254
00:10:09,884 --> 00:10:12,611
(upbeat music)
255
00:10:13,688 --> 00:10:15,333
Why are we stopping
at the college?
256
00:10:15,357 --> 00:10:17,117
- Because we tight
like BFFs, Fs.
257
00:10:20,704 --> 00:10:22,445
(dramatic music)
258
00:10:22,456 --> 00:10:24,739
- Hey!
- I'm not a student here
259
00:10:24,750 --> 00:10:25,898
and neither is Bliss,
260
00:10:25,976 --> 00:10:28,409
but we are very
interested in safe sex.
261
00:10:28,486 --> 00:10:31,162
(Bliss groaning)
- This is so embarrassing!
262
00:10:31,173 --> 00:10:32,789
Oh, God, there's dad!
263
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:35,750
- So, President Jensen,
we simply need more money.
264
00:10:35,827 --> 00:10:38,011
If you wanna have a
proportionally diverse staff,
265
00:10:38,088 --> 00:10:40,171
we need three more
minority hires.
266
00:10:40,248 --> 00:10:42,766
- Hm, or we could just
fire three white guys.
267
00:10:42,842 --> 00:10:44,442
Everybody wins!
- Gerald!
268
00:10:45,795 --> 00:10:47,720
(Bliss sighs)
- Don't you sometimes wish
269
00:10:47,797 --> 00:10:50,306
you didn't have to deal
with this whole sex thing?
270
00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:54,268
That you didn't have to
even think or talk about it?
271
00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:55,987
- Not talk about it?
272
00:10:57,056 --> 00:11:00,158
(light dramatic music)
273
00:11:01,894 --> 00:11:02,894
Let me guess.
274
00:11:02,937 --> 00:11:05,780
The only safe sex is no sex?
275
00:11:05,857 --> 00:11:07,385
- Uh huh.
- Uh, Helen?
276
00:11:07,409 --> 00:11:08,950
- She thought she had us.
277
00:11:09,026 --> 00:11:10,118
Well, guess again.
278
00:11:10,194 --> 00:11:11,880
We came to talk about
sex with someone
279
00:11:11,904 --> 00:11:13,713
that knows something about it.
280
00:11:13,790 --> 00:11:15,081
- Sex?
- Oh, you wanna go to
281
00:11:15,092 --> 00:11:17,166
the reproductive health booth.
282
00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:19,502
Right over there, next
to big inflated, uh, uh,
283
00:11:19,579 --> 00:11:21,129
I guess that's a condom.
284
00:11:21,205 --> 00:11:23,005
(condom squeaking)
285
00:11:23,082 --> 00:11:24,082
- Oh, oh my.
286
00:11:25,577 --> 00:11:28,052
- Abstinence is the only
proven form of birth control!
287
00:11:28,063 --> 00:11:29,929
Chaste girls have higher GPAs,
288
00:11:30,006 --> 00:11:32,765
better self esteem,
fewer babies!
289
00:11:32,776 --> 00:11:34,809
- [Helen] Look,
Bliss, free samples!
290
00:11:34,886 --> 00:11:38,187
- I, I think this booth is just
for students of the college.
291
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:41,023
- Lucy says that anyone
wanting to explore
292
00:11:41,100 --> 00:11:44,068
a sex-positive
lifestyle is welcome.
293
00:11:44,079 --> 00:11:45,486
- Mom!
- Mom?
294
00:11:45,497 --> 00:11:47,831
You know you can call me Helen.
295
00:11:47,907 --> 00:11:50,283
In our home it's no
judgements, no shame.
296
00:11:50,359 --> 00:11:51,868
One time, when
Bliss was as the age
297
00:11:51,878 --> 00:11:54,462
of self-discovery
well, we had a jacuzzi.
298
00:11:55,457 --> 00:11:56,789
Bliss?
299
00:11:56,866 --> 00:11:58,833
(light music)
300
00:11:58,910 --> 00:11:59,876
- [Ubuntu] Where's Bliss?
301
00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:01,252
I'm hungry!
302
00:12:01,329 --> 00:12:02,654
(stomach rumbling)
(Ubuntu groaning)
303
00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:05,381
- I don't understand,
everything was going perfect!
304
00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:07,851
I was gonna tell her the
story of my first orgasm.
305
00:12:07,927 --> 00:12:12,856
- Uh, maybe Bliss just wasn't
ready for that, thank God!
306
00:12:13,508 --> 00:12:14,891
- Oh, gotta eat.
307
00:12:14,967 --> 00:12:16,934
- We'd better feed him.
308
00:12:17,011 --> 00:12:18,978
- Sorry, I'm late, I
went back to the college.
309
00:12:19,055 --> 00:12:21,272
- You went back?
- You went back!
310
00:12:21,349 --> 00:12:22,899
Did you pick a contraceptive?
311
00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:23,909
Pill?
312
00:12:23,976 --> 00:12:24,676
No, no, diaphragm.
313
00:12:24,752 --> 00:12:26,161
Wait, condom, of course!
314
00:12:26,237 --> 00:12:27,442
- I picked abstinence.
315
00:12:27,443 --> 00:12:29,748
(light dramatic music)
- Oh God, they got you.
316
00:12:31,317 --> 00:12:32,628
(Ubuntu groaning)
(food squishing)
317
00:12:32,652 --> 00:12:34,463
- In fact, the safe
sex group is having
318
00:12:34,487 --> 00:12:36,412
a dance this Saturday,
a Purity Ball.
319
00:12:36,489 --> 00:12:39,499
We all agree to withhold
our most precious gift
320
00:12:39,575 --> 00:12:40,928
and then have a
dance where nobody
321
00:12:40,952 --> 00:12:42,844
has to feel any
pressure about sex.
322
00:12:42,921 --> 00:12:45,180
- Come on, Bliss,
this is ridiculous.
323
00:12:45,256 --> 00:12:48,591
I mean, who would you even
invite to a Purity Ball?
324
00:12:48,668 --> 00:12:50,384
- It's a father-daughter dance.
325
00:12:50,461 --> 00:12:52,896
Will you take me, Daddy?
326
00:12:52,972 --> 00:12:56,775
- Ah, yes.
(dramatic music)
327
00:12:58,344 --> 00:12:59,580
(Ubuntu burping)
(light dramatic music)
328
00:12:59,604 --> 00:13:04,324
(dog barking)
(bottles shattering)
329
00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:07,276
"The View" is on.
330
00:13:07,353 --> 00:13:09,871
The pretty one is saying
crazy stuff again.
331
00:13:11,583 --> 00:13:14,492
Helen, the literature
is pretty impressive.
332
00:13:14,569 --> 00:13:17,954
Girls that are abstinent
are more secure, healthier,
333
00:13:18,030 --> 00:13:19,455
and end up in better marriages.
334
00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:21,624
- I've got no problem
with abstinence.
335
00:13:21,701 --> 00:13:23,584
It's these abstinence people!
336
00:13:23,661 --> 00:13:25,503
They're not like us.
337
00:13:25,514 --> 00:13:27,055
They wear flagpins, Gerald,
338
00:13:27,131 --> 00:13:29,423
and you know as well as
I do what that means.
339
00:13:29,500 --> 00:13:31,520
- Now, come on, Helen,
since the election,
340
00:13:31,544 --> 00:13:33,970
we can all wear flagpins.
341
00:13:34,046 --> 00:13:34,896
- Really?
342
00:13:34,973 --> 00:13:36,856
You're gonna wear a flagpin?
343
00:13:36,933 --> 00:13:41,185
- No, my point is, maybe we
shouldn't be so judgemental.
344
00:13:41,196 --> 00:13:44,063
Don't we always try to
celebrate people's differences
345
00:13:44,140 --> 00:13:45,273
and learn from them?
346
00:13:45,349 --> 00:13:47,483
- Sure, if they're
like Native Americans
347
00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:51,037
or backwards rainforest
tribes, but not these people.
348
00:13:51,114 --> 00:13:52,989
(car horn honking)
349
00:13:53,065 --> 00:13:55,283
- It's almost time for
Ubuntu's drivers test.
350
00:13:55,293 --> 00:13:56,492
Do you wanna come along?
351
00:13:56,569 --> 00:13:58,369
- You're teaching
our son to drive
352
00:13:58,380 --> 00:14:00,547
and our daughter
to not have sex.
353
00:14:00,623 --> 00:14:02,090
Where did I go wrong?
354
00:14:02,166 --> 00:14:03,719
(light music)
(bird chirping)
355
00:14:03,743 --> 00:14:05,334
- A 100% correct.
356
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:07,503
I have to admit, when
I saw your handwriting
357
00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:08,930
I did not expect that.
358
00:14:09,007 --> 00:14:10,923
- He's our golden boy.
359
00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:14,978
I never stop being amazed at
the things Ubuntu excels at.
360
00:14:15,054 --> 00:14:17,179
- Wait there seems
to be a mistake here.
361
00:14:17,256 --> 00:14:19,974
Under ethnicity you
put African American.
362
00:14:20,051 --> 00:14:22,310
- Yeah.
- Well, yes, see,
363
00:14:22,386 --> 00:14:24,645
Ubuntu is African American.
364
00:14:24,722 --> 00:14:29,066
He's an American now, but
he's from South Africa.
365
00:14:29,143 --> 00:14:30,143
He isn't black.
366
00:14:32,122 --> 00:14:34,914
(upbeat music)
367
00:14:36,067 --> 00:14:38,034
(doorbell dinging)
Ah, that must be
368
00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:39,588
the other couple
we're going with.
369
00:14:39,612 --> 00:14:40,920
- Couple?
370
00:14:40,997 --> 00:14:42,758
Gerald, don't you
see how creepy it is?
371
00:14:42,782 --> 00:14:44,707
Bliss doesn't belong with them.
372
00:14:44,784 --> 00:14:45,884
- [Bliss] Coming.
373
00:14:47,078 --> 00:14:48,127
- Hi, Bliss.
374
00:14:48,204 --> 00:14:49,629
Oh my God, mister Goode!
375
00:14:49,705 --> 00:14:52,590
Daddy, Mr. Goode is the
campus administrator at GCC.
376
00:14:52,601 --> 00:14:54,717
I'm so psyched
you're on our side.
377
00:14:54,794 --> 00:14:58,304
- Well, this isn't about
sides, it's about fun.
378
00:14:58,381 --> 00:15:01,441
Good, clean, non-incestuous fun.
379
00:15:02,426 --> 00:15:05,353
(light music)
- Flagpin!
380
00:15:05,429 --> 00:15:06,429
- [Bliss] Daddy.
381
00:15:08,057 --> 00:15:09,752
(Helen groaning)
(light dramatic music)
382
00:15:09,776 --> 00:15:12,234
(Che whimpering)
383
00:15:12,311 --> 00:15:14,913
(Che panting)
384
00:15:16,199 --> 00:15:19,033
(cork popping)
385
00:15:19,044 --> 00:15:22,620
(wine splashing)
(light music)
386
00:15:22,631 --> 00:15:23,922
- Bliss is with us now.
387
00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:28,593
- You've lost her
forever, Helen.
388
00:15:29,971 --> 00:15:31,179
Is this box wine?
389
00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:35,558
(upbeat music)
390
00:15:38,170 --> 00:15:40,596
- So, this is a church dance?
391
00:15:40,673 --> 00:15:43,391
I thought abstinence
was secular.
392
00:15:43,467 --> 00:15:45,101
- You eggheads!
393
00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:47,436
I gotta tell you, "Dancing
with the Stars" has really
394
00:15:47,513 --> 00:15:50,314
improved our outreach and
the quality of our dancing.
395
00:15:50,391 --> 00:15:53,109
- Now, Daddy, you didn't
forget the ring, did you?
396
00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:54,619
- Got it right here, sugar.
397
00:15:56,039 --> 00:15:57,613
- Uh, ring?
398
00:15:57,690 --> 00:15:58,781
- For the ceremony.
399
00:15:58,858 --> 00:16:01,117
The daughters pledge
our virginity,
400
00:16:01,193 --> 00:16:02,602
as symbolized by this ring,
401
00:16:02,678 --> 00:16:05,454
and then the fathers keep
the rings, our virginity,
402
00:16:05,531 --> 00:16:07,651
until we need it back,
on our wedding night.
403
00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:10,418
- You guys forgot your ring!
404
00:16:10,428 --> 00:16:12,428
No problemo, you
can have this one.
405
00:16:12,505 --> 00:16:15,423
- Uh, I don't want
your daughter's ring.
406
00:16:15,499 --> 00:16:17,600
- Don't worry, Reverend
Walsh will have more.
407
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:20,645
- That's my virginity?
408
00:16:21,589 --> 00:16:23,639
- And that's the Reverend.
409
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:25,224
I don't wanna marry my daughter!
410
00:16:25,301 --> 00:16:27,601
(ring clinking)
- I don't wanna marry my dad!
411
00:16:27,678 --> 00:16:29,478
Oh God, mom was right!
412
00:16:29,555 --> 00:16:31,147
(Gerald sighs)
- I know.
413
00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:32,490
Come on, let's get out of here.
414
00:16:33,601 --> 00:16:35,034
(Bliss gasps)
415
00:16:35,111 --> 00:16:36,444
What, what is it?
416
00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:38,571
- Treyvon's doing an
ambush documentary,
417
00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:40,364
he's gonna put it on YouTube!
418
00:16:40,441 --> 00:16:41,574
- Documentary?
419
00:16:41,650 --> 00:16:44,168
Oh, God!
(dramatic music)
420
00:16:47,832 --> 00:16:49,832
- You girls who are
saving yourselves,
421
00:16:49,843 --> 00:16:51,709
save yourself some space on
422
00:16:51,786 --> 00:16:53,711
the dance floor
for this next one!
423
00:16:53,788 --> 00:16:55,379
(upbeat music)
424
00:16:55,456 --> 00:16:56,672
- I don't believe this!
425
00:16:56,749 --> 00:17:00,176
- I cannot be seen here,
I work in academia.
426
00:17:00,252 --> 00:17:01,594
I'll never leave this down!
427
00:17:01,670 --> 00:17:03,179
- Try being in high school!
428
00:17:03,255 --> 00:17:04,638
I'm vegan, for God's sake,
429
00:17:04,715 --> 00:17:06,368
I've reached my
weirdo tipping point!
430
00:17:06,392 --> 00:17:07,834
None of this would've happened
431
00:17:07,910 --> 00:17:10,278
if mom hadn't been so
gung-ho about me having sex.
432
00:17:10,354 --> 00:17:12,688
- She doesn't want
you having sex.
433
00:17:12,765 --> 00:17:13,909
- Really?
- No.
434
00:17:13,933 --> 00:17:15,816
None of us want you having sex.
435
00:17:15,827 --> 00:17:18,619
She just wanted you to
know all your options.
436
00:17:19,748 --> 00:17:21,197
Okay, all we have to do
437
00:17:21,273 --> 00:17:23,416
is get out of here
without been filmed.
438
00:17:23,493 --> 00:17:24,586
- And without getting married!
439
00:17:24,610 --> 00:17:26,410
- Right, but we didn't drive
440
00:17:26,421 --> 00:17:28,298
and we are in the
middle of nowhere.
441
00:17:28,322 --> 00:17:29,322
- We need a ride.
442
00:17:31,450 --> 00:17:34,135
(light music)
(phone ringing)
443
00:17:34,212 --> 00:17:36,378
(Helen snoring)
444
00:17:36,455 --> 00:17:39,098
(Che whimpering)
445
00:17:45,798 --> 00:17:47,223
- Hello.
446
00:17:47,299 --> 00:17:49,484
(Helen humming)
Mom's drunk.
447
00:17:50,636 --> 00:17:53,613
An emergency!
(upbeat music)
448
00:17:53,689 --> 00:17:54,950
(car door slamming)
(crowd applauding)
449
00:17:54,974 --> 00:17:57,483
- [Woman] And that
includes heavy petting.
450
00:17:57,560 --> 00:17:58,659
- [Man] Abstinence rocks!
451
00:17:58,736 --> 00:18:00,495
(Treyvon chuckling)
- Freaks!
452
00:18:00,571 --> 00:18:01,904
- Yep, already done.
453
00:18:01,981 --> 00:18:03,122
No sex for me.
454
00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:07,701
(light dramatic music)
(electric car whirring)
455
00:18:07,778 --> 00:18:12,632
(car engine revving)
(electric car whirring)
456
00:18:13,826 --> 00:18:18,221
(tires screeching)
(upbeat music)
457
00:18:19,999 --> 00:18:21,715
(bell jingling)
458
00:18:21,792 --> 00:18:23,436
(Che groaning)
(Che panting)
459
00:18:23,460 --> 00:18:25,269
(Che whimpering)
- You're my friend.
460
00:18:26,630 --> 00:18:28,389
(Che growling)
461
00:18:28,465 --> 00:18:33,319
(Che whimpering)
(Che barking)
462
00:18:34,346 --> 00:18:35,938
(car hood thudding)
463
00:18:36,015 --> 00:18:37,584
(door banging)
(upbeat music)
464
00:18:37,608 --> 00:18:38,749
- We made it.
465
00:18:39,852 --> 00:18:41,454
- Where's Ubuntu?
(door creaking)
466
00:18:41,478 --> 00:18:42,903
- Oh, hello!
467
00:18:42,980 --> 00:18:44,446
You work at the college, right?
468
00:18:44,523 --> 00:18:46,907
I would love to ask you
a few questions on tape.
469
00:18:46,984 --> 00:18:49,252
Oh, Treyvon, Treyvon!
470
00:18:49,328 --> 00:18:52,955
(electric car whirring)
471
00:18:52,966 --> 00:18:54,957
Oh, this way, Treyvon!
472
00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:57,459
Bring your camera over here.
473
00:18:57,536 --> 00:18:59,472
- Look, it's the virgin
from "American Idol,"
474
00:18:59,496 --> 00:19:01,889
by the water fountain.
(tires screeching)
475
00:19:01,966 --> 00:19:05,634
(car horn beeping)
(dramatic music)
476
00:19:05,711 --> 00:19:08,220
(tires screeching)
477
00:19:08,297 --> 00:19:09,297
- Emergency!
478
00:19:09,899 --> 00:19:12,733
(dramatic music)
479
00:19:13,761 --> 00:19:16,395
- It's so hard to be good.
480
00:19:16,472 --> 00:19:18,981
I just wanna be
close to my daughter,
481
00:19:19,058 --> 00:19:20,941
and buy organic apples,
482
00:19:21,018 --> 00:19:23,652
and call minorities
by the right name.
483
00:19:23,729 --> 00:19:26,697
Is there like a big convention
where all the minorities
484
00:19:26,708 --> 00:19:29,867
get together to decide what
they wanna call things?
485
00:19:29,878 --> 00:19:32,661
What to wear, hairstyles?
486
00:19:32,738 --> 00:19:34,288
Like the afro.
487
00:19:34,365 --> 00:19:35,464
That was a good one.
488
00:19:36,617 --> 00:19:38,792
- It's in Memphis.
- I knew it!
489
00:19:38,869 --> 00:19:40,761
Can I go?
- No.
490
00:19:40,838 --> 00:19:42,180
- Of course not.
491
00:19:43,749 --> 00:19:45,758
(car horn beeping)
492
00:19:45,768 --> 00:19:47,518
- It was an emergency, Mom!
493
00:19:47,595 --> 00:19:49,345
Well, maybe not the drag racing,
494
00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:50,857
or the donuts I did
in the parking lot.
495
00:19:50,881 --> 00:19:54,016
- But Ubuntu did have to
rescue us from the dance.
496
00:19:54,093 --> 00:19:56,769
And someone needs to apologize.
497
00:19:56,845 --> 00:19:57,945
(Bliss sighs)
498
00:19:58,022 --> 00:20:00,615
- Mom...
- I'm sorry if I pushed you.
499
00:20:00,691 --> 00:20:02,825
I just wanted us to be close.
500
00:20:02,902 --> 00:20:04,702
- We're close enough.
501
00:20:06,605 --> 00:20:08,697
- Is there something
else you wanna say?
502
00:20:08,774 --> 00:20:10,260
- Well...
- Yes.
503
00:20:10,284 --> 00:20:15,371
I acted ridiculous,
inappropriate, and
just plain stupid.
504
00:20:15,447 --> 00:20:16,447
Can you forgive me?
505
00:20:18,075 --> 00:20:20,709
- Okay, but just don't
let it happen again.
506
00:20:20,786 --> 00:20:22,044
- Bliss.
507
00:20:22,121 --> 00:20:23,462
- Mom, you were right.
508
00:20:23,539 --> 00:20:25,299
I don't belong
with those people.
509
00:20:26,509 --> 00:20:28,384
- Because you're active?
510
00:20:28,460 --> 00:20:30,886
- No, I'm not that.
511
00:20:30,963 --> 00:20:33,055
- But if you were you'd tell me?
512
00:20:33,132 --> 00:20:37,309
- Ew, fine, if you
promise to leave me alone.
513
00:20:37,386 --> 00:20:39,237
(light music)
- Come here.
514
00:20:41,399 --> 00:20:44,733
(Ubuntu crying)
515
00:20:44,810 --> 00:20:47,403
- Do you think there'll be
another emergency tomorrow?
516
00:20:47,479 --> 00:20:49,499
- Well, the way people
abuse Mother Earth,
517
00:20:49,523 --> 00:20:51,407
I'm sure there will be.
518
00:20:51,483 --> 00:20:53,409
- Sorry, I used
so much gas, Dad.
519
00:20:53,485 --> 00:20:54,785
- It's okay, Ubuntu.
520
00:20:54,862 --> 00:20:57,672
What's important is that
you feel guilty about it.
521
00:21:02,369 --> 00:21:04,670
(upbeat music)
(Che panting)
522
00:21:04,681 --> 00:21:06,755
(cat meowing)
523
00:21:06,832 --> 00:21:09,675
- A vegan dinner for
my grandson's birthday?
524
00:21:09,752 --> 00:21:11,760
You deserve steaks
and strippers!
525
00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:13,721
Come on, Ubuntu, I'm buying.
526
00:21:13,797 --> 00:21:16,640
- Meat is murder!
- No, son, meat is yummy!
527
00:21:16,651 --> 00:21:18,392
Come on, let's roll!
528
00:21:18,469 --> 00:21:21,020
I got nine extra seats in the
SUV if you wanna stretch out.
529
00:21:21,096 --> 00:21:22,771
- Where do I begin, Dad?
530
00:21:22,848 --> 00:21:26,492
- Ah, okay, happy birthday!
531
00:21:26,569 --> 00:21:28,485
Sayonara!
532
00:21:28,562 --> 00:21:31,405
- Well, then, that leaves an
extra veggie roll for Che.
533
00:21:31,482 --> 00:21:32,614
Che, here boy!
534
00:21:32,691 --> 00:21:33,691
Where is Che?
535
00:21:34,452 --> 00:21:39,422
(bird chirping)
(Che chomping)
37330
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof