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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,768 --> 00:00:06,740 (mysterious music) 2 00:00:19,386 --> 00:00:24,391 (oldies swing music) 3 00:01:17,243 --> 00:01:22,248 (mysterious oldies music) 4 00:01:45,738 --> 00:01:48,274 - [Voiceover] So, what are you in the mood for? 5 00:01:48,308 --> 00:01:49,509 How about a Craftsman? 6 00:01:49,542 --> 00:01:52,679 - [Voiceover] God, I love Craftsmans! 7 00:01:52,712 --> 00:01:54,681 - [Voiceover] Ooh, check this out, 8 00:01:54,714 --> 00:01:57,717 it's got a name, Edendale. 9 00:01:57,750 --> 00:01:59,619 It's build in 1908. 10 00:01:59,652 --> 00:02:00,787 - [Voiceover] (laughs) Edendale? 11 00:02:00,820 --> 00:02:02,222 Could be historic. 12 00:02:02,255 --> 00:02:05,625 - [Voiceover] It's in Silver Lake. 13 00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:07,694 (gasps) 14 00:02:08,561 --> 00:02:10,830 I can see us raising a family here. 15 00:02:10,864 --> 00:02:13,166 Growing old... 16 00:02:13,867 --> 00:02:14,868 Where the hell is it? 17 00:02:14,901 --> 00:02:17,804 - Relax, I have it in my GPS. 18 00:02:18,771 --> 00:02:21,674 - Richard, did you just tweet that we're lost? 19 00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:24,811 - Stop looking at your cell and look for the address! 20 00:02:26,279 --> 00:02:28,581 - It should be on the left. 21 00:02:29,716 --> 00:02:30,850 Oh. - Oh, oh. 22 00:02:30,884 --> 00:02:32,552 - You don't think that... - Oh my. 23 00:02:32,585 --> 00:02:34,787 - Oh my god! 24 00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:41,895 (seductive music plays) 25 00:02:58,444 --> 00:02:59,412 - You know what I think. 26 00:02:59,445 --> 00:03:00,647 - What? 27 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:02,482 - I think we should crash that party. 28 00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:03,716 - You mean just valet the car 29 00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:05,752 and go into a party thrown by people way cooler than us? 30 00:03:05,785 --> 00:03:07,787 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, why not? 31 00:03:07,820 --> 00:03:08,488 - Oh my god. 32 00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:09,756 - Why not? 33 00:03:09,789 --> 00:03:11,424 It's fun. 34 00:03:11,658 --> 00:03:12,559 Oh my god! 35 00:03:12,592 --> 00:03:13,960 - Oh, stop the car! 36 00:03:13,993 --> 00:03:15,428 - [Driver] Is that... 37 00:03:15,461 --> 00:03:16,062 - [Passenger] There is no way that my sister 38 00:03:16,095 --> 00:03:18,765 is going into our house. 39 00:03:19,465 --> 00:03:21,768 - Well, now we have to crash it. 40 00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:24,971 (both groan) 41 00:03:25,004 --> 00:03:26,506 - Now what? 42 00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:28,741 - Easy, I'll charm us in with my good looks 43 00:03:28,775 --> 00:03:31,010 and winning personality. 44 00:03:32,011 --> 00:03:34,681 - Do you got a plan B? 45 00:03:34,714 --> 00:03:36,749 - We could rub Buddha's belly. 46 00:03:36,783 --> 00:03:37,917 - Hey, it's worth a try. 47 00:03:37,951 --> 00:03:39,352 We need all the good karma we can get. 48 00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:40,753 - Yeah, maybe it'll help us with the adoption. 49 00:03:40,787 --> 00:03:42,922 (soft rubbing sound) 50 00:03:45,825 --> 00:03:47,994 Well, it was worth a try. 51 00:03:48,027 --> 00:03:51,731 (phone rings) 52 00:03:51,764 --> 00:03:53,299 - Hey, what's up? 53 00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:54,300 No, I can talk. 54 00:03:54,334 --> 00:03:58,771 (indistinct talking) 55 00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:09,749 (swanky music) 56 00:05:01,768 --> 00:05:06,773 (indistinct conversation) 57 00:05:14,747 --> 00:05:16,416 - In a perfect world this would be our party 58 00:05:16,449 --> 00:05:17,784 that we're crashing. 59 00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:20,720 - I just died and went to escrow. 60 00:05:23,923 --> 00:05:26,626 - Once you examine all of reality itself, 61 00:05:26,659 --> 00:05:30,930 and then the self itself, 62 00:05:30,963 --> 00:05:33,733 then you find true meaning in life. 63 00:05:33,766 --> 00:05:35,635 - Did the Dalai Lama say that? 64 00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:37,003 - No, that was Lady Gaga. 65 00:05:37,036 --> 00:05:38,805 (smacks and giggles) 66 00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:40,640 To the (mumbling). 67 00:05:47,714 --> 00:05:49,148 - You ready? 68 00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:50,650 Okay. 69 00:05:51,050 --> 00:05:55,421 (mandolin notes play) 70 00:05:55,621 --> 00:05:57,056 - The old joke, 71 00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:59,726 a Buddhist walks up to a hotdog vendor 72 00:05:59,759 --> 00:06:03,629 (rapidly plays notes) 73 00:06:03,663 --> 00:06:05,798 and asks... 74 00:06:05,832 --> 00:06:07,834 - "Make me one with everything." 75 00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:12,872 (mandolin notes play) 76 00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:16,809 - Given the hotdog, he pays and says... 77 00:06:16,843 --> 00:06:19,112 (plays off-key notes) 78 00:06:19,145 --> 00:06:21,848 - "Where's my change?" 79 00:06:23,816 --> 00:06:26,486 - To which the vendor replies, 80 00:06:26,519 --> 00:06:30,223 - "Change comes from within." 81 00:06:30,256 --> 00:06:34,727 (rapidly banging notes) 82 00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:40,199 (polite applause) - [Woman] Thank you. 83 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:41,200 - I could eat. 84 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:42,001 Do you think there's a-- 85 00:06:42,034 --> 00:06:43,236 Oh god, here they come. 86 00:06:43,269 --> 00:06:44,570 - Oh my goodness. 87 00:06:44,604 --> 00:06:46,806 - Alex, Richard, what are you.. 88 00:06:46,839 --> 00:06:47,974 (kisses) 89 00:06:48,007 --> 00:06:48,641 - How are you? 90 00:06:48,674 --> 00:06:50,176 - It's crazy. 91 00:06:50,209 --> 00:06:51,611 What are you guys doing here? 92 00:06:51,644 --> 00:06:52,912 - Miss one of Jake and Cloe's parties? 93 00:06:52,945 --> 00:06:54,647 Never, plus there's free booze. 94 00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:56,616 - I didn't know that you knew them. 95 00:06:56,649 --> 00:06:57,784 - Oh yeah, we're super tight. 96 00:06:57,817 --> 00:06:59,752 Jake and Chloe, they're dear friends. 97 00:06:59,786 --> 00:07:01,654 - And how about this house, huh? 98 00:07:01,687 --> 00:07:03,723 I love this house, we always have. 99 00:07:03,756 --> 00:07:06,225 - To be right, it's kind of our dream house. 100 00:07:06,859 --> 00:07:07,927 - Oh. 101 00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:09,262 - Hey, you okay? 102 00:07:09,295 --> 00:07:12,198 You look a little puffy. 103 00:07:12,231 --> 00:07:14,000 - Well... 104 00:07:14,033 --> 00:07:15,768 - Alex... 105 00:07:15,802 --> 00:07:19,772 We just found out, you are going to be an uncle. 106 00:07:19,806 --> 00:07:21,507 We're pregnant! 107 00:07:21,541 --> 00:07:21,941 - What? 108 00:07:21,974 --> 00:07:22,742 - Oh! 109 00:07:23,242 --> 00:07:24,010 That's incredible! 110 00:07:24,043 --> 00:07:24,944 - [Richard] Wow. 111 00:07:24,977 --> 00:07:26,913 - [Alex] That is incredible. 112 00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:28,014 - Doing the parent thing. 113 00:07:28,047 --> 00:07:30,550 You have to come out to the house and celebrate. 114 00:07:30,583 --> 00:07:31,651 - Yeah, hey, how is that new house? 115 00:07:31,684 --> 00:07:34,120 - Oh, it's a piece of shit, but it's a long story. 116 00:07:34,153 --> 00:07:37,056 Anyway, this one, she forgets her pill one time. 117 00:07:37,089 --> 00:07:38,758 One time, mind you, and suddenly she's 118 00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:40,827 a veritable garden of human fertility. 119 00:07:40,860 --> 00:07:42,128 - Oh, goober. 120 00:07:42,161 --> 00:07:42,962 - Which is great. 121 00:07:42,995 --> 00:07:45,898 Unexpected, but great. 122 00:07:45,932 --> 00:07:46,532 - Happy accident. 123 00:07:46,566 --> 00:07:47,700 - You're hurting my arm. 124 00:07:47,733 --> 00:07:49,135 - I'm sorry. 125 00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:52,805 - [Voiceover] Deep in the heart of the Himalayas 126 00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:58,811 lies the land of the thunder dragon, 127 00:07:59,645 --> 00:08:01,714 the kingdom of Bhutan. 128 00:08:01,747 --> 00:08:06,719 - While it might be tiny and remote and impoverished, 129 00:08:07,186 --> 00:08:12,058 within Bhutan's modesty is its majesty. 130 00:08:12,758 --> 00:08:17,196 - [Man] This will be our sixth trip to Bhutan. 131 00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:25,238 Every time we ask ourselves, "How can we keep coming back?" 132 00:08:25,838 --> 00:08:26,806 - [Woman] But every time we see the faces 133 00:08:26,839 --> 00:08:31,878 of the children, we think, "How can we not?" 134 00:08:32,879 --> 00:08:36,115 - [Man] It was on this, our last trip to Bhutan, 135 00:08:36,148 --> 00:08:39,785 that we first met little Kuenlay. 136 00:08:43,289 --> 00:08:46,192 (crowd awws) 137 00:08:46,225 --> 00:08:47,860 - Cute. 138 00:08:47,894 --> 00:08:51,230 - [Man] These orphans are suffering, 139 00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:53,299 but they would rather freeze 140 00:08:53,332 --> 00:08:56,202 than see you do without. 141 00:09:03,776 --> 00:09:05,378 - [Woman] If they weren't orphans, 142 00:09:05,411 --> 00:09:08,147 their parents would be so proud. 143 00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:12,885 - [Video] Good, good, good, good! 144 00:09:15,154 --> 00:09:18,024 We are really making a difference. 145 00:09:21,794 --> 00:09:25,231 - But the most special thing about little Kuenlay 146 00:09:25,264 --> 00:09:27,266 is his generosity. 147 00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:32,305 (foreign music) 148 00:10:02,034 --> 00:10:05,972 However, fate was not kind to little Kuenlay 149 00:10:06,772 --> 00:10:10,076 for not two weeks after this video was shot, 150 00:10:10,409 --> 00:10:14,914 we received word that little Kuenlay, 151 00:10:14,947 --> 00:10:19,952 bitten by a goat, developed tetanus and died. 152 00:10:23,889 --> 00:10:25,858 - It's too late for little Kuenlay. 153 00:10:25,891 --> 00:10:27,727 - Too late. 154 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:31,364 - [Man] But there are so many others who need help. 155 00:10:31,397 --> 00:10:33,132 All our help. 156 00:10:34,333 --> 00:10:36,335 Help us care. 157 00:10:36,369 --> 00:10:40,072 - 90 cents on every dollar goes directly to the orphans. 158 00:10:40,773 --> 00:10:42,842 (speaking foreign language) 159 00:10:43,342 --> 00:10:45,277 - 40, 41... 160 00:10:46,512 --> 00:10:48,214 Will that save a child? 161 00:10:48,247 --> 00:10:50,216 - [Presenters] Help us care. 162 00:10:50,249 --> 00:10:51,484 (sighs) 163 00:10:51,517 --> 00:10:53,819 (typing) 164 00:10:53,853 --> 00:10:56,188 - [Man] Help us care. 165 00:10:57,023 --> 00:11:00,192 - [Presenters] (speaking in foreign language) 166 00:11:00,226 --> 00:11:01,861 - [Woman] (speaking foreign language) 167 00:11:01,894 --> 00:11:02,795 Help us care. 168 00:11:02,828 --> 00:11:03,496 - (speaking in foreign language) 169 00:11:03,529 --> 00:11:04,930 - I don't have any cash... 170 00:11:04,964 --> 00:11:06,332 I, sorry... 171 00:11:06,365 --> 00:11:10,302 (mysterious music) 172 00:11:11,871 --> 00:11:13,339 - [Man] I can't talk right now, 173 00:11:13,372 --> 00:11:14,373 leaving for Bhutan in the morning 174 00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:18,310 and our house sitter just checked into rehab. 175 00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:21,147 - Oh, well we could house sit for you. 176 00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:22,848 - Whoa, I thought you said you'd eat glass 177 00:11:22,882 --> 00:11:23,883 rather than house sit again. 178 00:11:23,916 --> 00:11:25,518 House sitting could be fun. 179 00:11:25,551 --> 00:11:26,452 - Oh, I'd never take you two 180 00:11:26,485 --> 00:11:28,854 out of your beautiful new home. 181 00:11:29,488 --> 00:11:31,290 - Alright, you know what, that's it. 182 00:11:31,323 --> 00:11:34,493 You knew that tree was terminal when you sold us that house. 183 00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,529 - Did you ever watch a tree die, Jake? 184 00:11:36,562 --> 00:11:38,364 It's an ugly, violent-- 185 00:11:38,397 --> 00:11:41,033 - Not to mention expensive sight. 186 00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:42,902 - I can't answer your questions 187 00:11:42,935 --> 00:11:47,006 any more than you can question my answers. 188 00:11:49,141 --> 00:11:51,844 I said that I would pay you back, and I will. 189 00:11:51,877 --> 00:11:52,912 - I don't think you understand, 190 00:11:52,945 --> 00:11:54,947 our claim was denied. 191 00:11:54,980 --> 00:11:57,116 - Basic homeowners won't cover sudden oak death, 192 00:11:57,149 --> 00:11:59,318 and SOD sucks. 193 00:11:59,351 --> 00:12:01,520 - You know what this reminds me of? 194 00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:06,292 The ancient Bhutanese tale of two elephants that get lost 195 00:12:06,325 --> 00:12:09,328 in the (speaking foreign language). 196 00:12:09,361 --> 00:12:11,864 - I'm sorry, are you talking about elephants right now? 197 00:12:11,897 --> 00:12:15,067 - They're the second most spiritual creature in the world. 198 00:12:15,101 --> 00:12:17,369 And do you know what they want? 199 00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:19,038 - To be number one? 200 00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:21,040 - They want love. 201 00:12:21,073 --> 00:12:23,809 Just like you. 202 00:12:23,843 --> 00:12:25,845 Just like me. 203 00:12:26,846 --> 00:12:31,117 - Jake, Cooper and I are so moved by all of this 204 00:12:31,150 --> 00:12:33,819 spiritual depth, not to mention your work 205 00:12:33,853 --> 00:12:35,121 for all those hungry little foreign kids, 206 00:12:35,154 --> 00:12:37,523 but we are talking about real estate, 207 00:12:37,556 --> 00:12:39,125 so let's get real. 208 00:12:39,158 --> 00:12:40,559 We paid you a lot of money for that house 209 00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:42,561 and I think that entitles us to a living room 210 00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:45,264 without a big fucking dead oak in it. 211 00:12:45,297 --> 00:12:49,001 So either you figure out a way to pay 212 00:12:49,034 --> 00:12:52,104 or we will figure out a way to take. 213 00:12:52,138 --> 00:12:54,173 (speaking foreign language) 214 00:12:54,206 --> 00:12:56,909 - (speaking foreign language) 215 00:12:57,910 --> 00:13:00,312 (laughs nervously) 216 00:13:05,151 --> 00:13:07,253 (exhales) 217 00:13:08,154 --> 00:13:09,488 - You were awesome. 218 00:13:09,522 --> 00:13:11,223 - I'm not an expert in human behavior for nothing. 219 00:13:11,257 --> 00:13:12,458 - And we got 20 bucks. 220 00:13:12,491 --> 00:13:14,860 - Now let's just hope our money doesn't leave the country. 221 00:13:14,894 --> 00:13:17,163 - Oh, finding the right house sitter is an art. 222 00:13:17,196 --> 00:13:18,197 It'll take more than a day to find 223 00:13:18,230 --> 00:13:20,199 a perfectly trustworthy loser. 224 00:13:20,232 --> 00:13:21,333 - Please, this is LA. 225 00:13:21,367 --> 00:13:22,635 People like that are on every corner. 226 00:13:22,668 --> 00:13:27,006 (upbeat party music) 227 00:13:30,209 --> 00:13:32,411 - You have one of my pots. 228 00:13:32,444 --> 00:13:34,513 - I'm sorry, Chloe's notorious 229 00:13:34,547 --> 00:13:36,448 for never returning anything. 230 00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:39,885 - Oh, no, no, it's one of my pieces. 231 00:13:39,919 --> 00:13:43,222 I sell them in a few stores, I'm a potter. 232 00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:47,126 - So you're good with your hands? 233 00:13:51,363 --> 00:13:51,830 - Oh! 234 00:13:51,864 --> 00:13:53,165 - Kaitlyn, come! 235 00:13:53,199 --> 00:13:53,666 - Puppy! 236 00:13:53,699 --> 00:13:54,567 - Kaitlyn, get! 237 00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:55,634 Slow down, come! 238 00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:56,602 Come to me! 239 00:13:56,635 --> 00:13:59,872 - Oh, you're so sweet! 240 00:14:00,306 --> 00:14:02,908 - You're very good with them. 241 00:14:02,942 --> 00:14:04,510 - I love dogs. 242 00:14:05,644 --> 00:14:09,081 I'd better, my sister and I own Bitches Delight. 243 00:14:09,114 --> 00:14:10,416 - Greyhound rescue? 244 00:14:10,449 --> 00:14:14,019 - It's a great organization, unfortunately. 245 00:14:20,492 --> 00:14:22,928 - Have you met my wife? 246 00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:24,630 Oh, hey. 247 00:14:24,663 --> 00:14:25,598 - There you-- 248 00:14:25,631 --> 00:14:27,066 Richard, Richard! 249 00:14:27,633 --> 00:14:28,434 This is Richard. 250 00:14:28,467 --> 00:14:29,702 Guess what? 251 00:14:29,735 --> 00:14:31,637 We're going to house sit for Jake and Chloe. 252 00:14:31,670 --> 00:14:32,504 - What? 253 00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:35,040 Alex, do not joke with me about that. 254 00:14:35,074 --> 00:14:36,542 - Oh, I'm not joking. 255 00:14:36,575 --> 00:14:37,343 - What! 256 00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:39,078 Oh my god. 257 00:14:39,111 --> 00:14:40,679 Oh, oh, how long do we get to live here? 258 00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:41,447 I mean stay here? 259 00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:43,115 I mean house sit? 260 00:14:43,148 --> 00:14:45,684 - Since when do you two house sit? 261 00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:46,585 - You all know each other? 262 00:14:46,619 --> 00:14:47,620 - He's her brother. 263 00:14:47,653 --> 00:14:48,654 - Half brother. 264 00:14:48,687 --> 00:14:50,155 - Well, they're going to Bhutan, 265 00:14:50,189 --> 00:14:53,125 so this is our chance, in a small way, 266 00:14:53,158 --> 00:14:54,994 to help out the orphans. 267 00:14:55,027 --> 00:14:57,096 - [Jake] And it'll mean so much to them 268 00:14:57,129 --> 00:14:59,064 to have house sitters. 269 00:14:59,098 --> 00:15:01,133 You are so handsome. 270 00:15:02,534 --> 00:15:04,370 - And thin. 271 00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:07,606 - Are you talking about orphans or dogs? 272 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:09,241 - Both. 273 00:15:10,376 --> 00:15:14,546 - You have made us both incredibly happy. 274 00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:19,485 We will honor this trust you have placed in us. 275 00:15:19,718 --> 00:15:21,120 - (speaking in foreign language) 276 00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:24,223 - (speaking in foreign language) 277 00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:25,691 - Cheers. 278 00:15:25,724 --> 00:15:27,326 Don't do that. 279 00:15:27,359 --> 00:15:30,195 (laughing) 280 00:15:30,229 --> 00:15:32,164 - Oh my god, I can't believe it! 281 00:15:32,197 --> 00:15:33,198 - I know! 282 00:15:33,232 --> 00:15:35,534 Even seeing Paige and Cooper can't ruin this. 283 00:15:35,567 --> 00:15:37,569 - Oh, and what is with them? 284 00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:39,271 They're lucky enough to have their own home 285 00:15:39,305 --> 00:15:41,106 and they have the gall to call it a piece of shit 286 00:15:41,140 --> 00:15:42,141 in front of us. 287 00:15:42,174 --> 00:15:43,275 - (scoffs) And what's worse, they're pregnant? 288 00:15:43,309 --> 00:15:47,012 - Well, babe, you can't really blame them for that. 289 00:15:47,746 --> 00:15:49,581 - No, of course not, but... 290 00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:52,084 Ugh, once again, Paige gets what Paige wants. 291 00:15:52,117 --> 00:15:53,319 - She doesn't get everything she wants. 292 00:15:53,352 --> 00:15:55,587 Don't forget, you have your father's ashes. 293 00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:58,057 - She's never getting them from me ever. 294 00:15:58,090 --> 00:15:59,725 It's bad enough she went to college before me, 295 00:15:59,758 --> 00:16:02,761 got married before me, now they're having a baby before us! 296 00:16:04,563 --> 00:16:06,098 I hate them. 297 00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:08,600 - Aw, honey. 298 00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:10,269 So do I. 299 00:16:11,704 --> 00:16:13,105 - [Paige] Oh god, Cooper. 300 00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:14,406 - [Cooper] Acid reflux? 301 00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:16,175 - [Paige] Like a suicide bomber. 302 00:16:16,208 --> 00:16:17,176 - [Cooper] Well, leave it to Alex and Richard 303 00:16:17,209 --> 00:16:19,645 to screw us over by being nice. 304 00:16:19,678 --> 00:16:22,247 - They're not being nice, they're being gay. 305 00:16:22,281 --> 00:16:24,616 A house that fabulous is like crack to them. 306 00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:26,652 They don't even know Jake and Chloe. 307 00:16:26,685 --> 00:16:28,354 - Well, what do you think, 308 00:16:28,387 --> 00:16:30,289 they were just driving by and decided to crash the party? 309 00:16:30,322 --> 00:16:33,092 - Who knows what those two are capable of. 310 00:16:33,125 --> 00:16:35,127 (burps) 311 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:36,695 - Ugh, excuse me. 312 00:16:36,729 --> 00:16:38,630 - It's okay. 313 00:16:38,664 --> 00:16:41,300 (crickets chirp) 314 00:16:42,101 --> 00:16:47,106 (sad music) 315 00:16:49,174 --> 00:16:51,310 - Goodnight, Dad. 316 00:16:59,651 --> 00:17:02,588 - Old artisan workmanship. 317 00:17:02,621 --> 00:17:05,624 Deep, overhanging eaves. 318 00:17:05,657 --> 00:17:07,593 - Tell me more! 319 00:17:07,626 --> 00:17:10,229 - Douglas fir floors and staircase. 320 00:17:10,262 --> 00:17:12,698 Exposed beams and joists. 321 00:17:12,731 --> 00:17:14,366 - Yes! 322 00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:15,868 - Batchelder tile. 323 00:17:15,901 --> 00:17:18,303 (moaning) - Oh my god. 324 00:17:18,337 --> 00:17:21,573 - Silver Lake, Craftsman. 325 00:17:21,607 --> 00:17:24,276 (passionate moaning) 326 00:17:29,648 --> 00:17:34,653 (moaning and giggling) 327 00:17:41,794 --> 00:17:45,564 (dogs whimpering) 328 00:17:45,864 --> 00:17:50,869 (romantic music) 329 00:18:30,375 --> 00:18:35,380 (indistinct conversation) 330 00:18:41,653 --> 00:18:43,388 - I could get used to this. 331 00:18:43,422 --> 00:18:44,556 (grunts) 332 00:18:44,590 --> 00:18:47,192 - Well, don't get too used to it. 333 00:18:47,226 --> 00:18:49,261 Remember, we're just playing house. 334 00:18:49,828 --> 00:18:51,363 - Boo! 335 00:18:52,564 --> 00:18:53,632 - Ow! 336 00:18:53,665 --> 00:18:55,300 Richard! 337 00:18:56,635 --> 00:18:58,203 (door creaks) 338 00:18:58,237 --> 00:18:58,871 (gasps) 339 00:18:59,872 --> 00:19:01,406 - What... 340 00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:03,942 That wasn't there before. 341 00:19:07,646 --> 00:19:08,947 (gasps) 342 00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:13,285 - [Alex] Go! 343 00:19:13,552 --> 00:19:15,187 What's in there? 344 00:19:16,522 --> 00:19:20,292 (mumbling) 345 00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:23,695 (both scream) 346 00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:29,701 - Oh... 347 00:19:30,369 --> 00:19:31,236 - Is that... 348 00:19:31,270 --> 00:19:34,006 - [Alex] Wow, is this...? 349 00:19:34,039 --> 00:19:35,774 - Oh my god. 350 00:19:35,807 --> 00:19:37,476 - It's money. 351 00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:40,646 How much much do you think there is? 352 00:19:40,679 --> 00:19:42,481 - Let's find out. 353 00:19:44,283 --> 00:19:47,386 - Oh my god, Richard. 354 00:19:49,321 --> 00:19:50,689 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 355 00:19:53,492 --> 00:19:55,794 (Richard laughs) Can you take more? 356 00:19:55,827 --> 00:19:56,728 - It tickles! 357 00:19:56,762 --> 00:19:58,330 - Take it! 358 00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:04,469 - $983,000. 359 00:20:04,503 --> 00:20:05,571 - Not even a million? 360 00:20:05,604 --> 00:20:06,738 Pathetic. 361 00:20:07,005 --> 00:20:09,775 - Richard, this is weird. 362 00:20:09,808 --> 00:20:11,777 What kind of people have this amount of money 363 00:20:11,810 --> 00:20:13,478 just lying around? 364 00:20:13,512 --> 00:20:17,049 - Gangsters, drug dealers, the church... 365 00:20:17,082 --> 00:20:18,650 - Well, Chloe and Jake are in Bhutan 366 00:20:18,684 --> 00:20:20,285 helping out the orphans, so I guess they get 367 00:20:20,319 --> 00:20:22,721 the benefit of the doubt. 368 00:20:23,689 --> 00:20:25,924 Ooh, what are you doing? 369 00:20:25,958 --> 00:20:30,362 - Well, he said to help ourselves to anything. 370 00:20:30,662 --> 00:20:34,766 (dramatic music) So tonight, we're filthy rich. 371 00:21:24,783 --> 00:21:26,318 (doorbell rings) 372 00:21:26,752 --> 00:21:28,553 (knocking) 373 00:21:31,757 --> 00:21:35,727 (groans) Jesus, what happened here? 374 00:21:35,761 --> 00:21:37,796 Looks like Donald Trump threw up. 375 00:21:37,829 --> 00:21:39,498 (knocking) - [Voiceover] Alex? 376 00:21:39,531 --> 00:21:41,099 (knocking) Alex, honey? 377 00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:43,635 - Oh, your sister's here! 378 00:21:43,669 --> 00:21:44,536 - My half-sister. 379 00:21:44,569 --> 00:21:45,704 - [Paige] Alex? 380 00:21:45,737 --> 00:21:47,739 (doorbell rings) - Oh, oh my god. 381 00:21:47,773 --> 00:21:48,740 - [Richard] We should... 382 00:21:48,774 --> 00:21:50,042 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 383 00:21:50,075 --> 00:21:52,844 (knocking, doorbell ringing) 384 00:21:53,412 --> 00:21:58,417 (frantic music, money rustling) 385 00:22:00,052 --> 00:22:02,020 (vacuum whirrs) 386 00:22:02,054 --> 00:22:03,855 (doorbell rings) 387 00:22:25,177 --> 00:22:26,978 - Sweetheart... 388 00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:31,983 We have some challenging news. 389 00:22:32,017 --> 00:22:32,951 - (stammering) Hi. 390 00:22:32,984 --> 00:22:33,719 - Coffee. 391 00:22:33,752 --> 00:22:35,487 - Coffee! 392 00:22:38,790 --> 00:22:40,492 - There's been an accident. 393 00:22:40,525 --> 00:22:42,761 Jake and Chloe are dead. 394 00:22:42,794 --> 00:22:43,829 - What? 395 00:22:44,096 --> 00:22:46,098 - Oh my god. 396 00:22:46,131 --> 00:22:48,633 - [Paige] I know, it's terrible. 397 00:22:48,667 --> 00:22:51,737 - Apparently Bhutan has the thickest fog in the planet, 398 00:22:51,770 --> 00:22:54,172 real crazy shit, and it was the worst 399 00:22:54,206 --> 00:22:57,075 rickshaw pilot they've ever seen. 400 00:22:57,109 --> 00:22:59,544 - They died in a rickshaw accident. 401 00:22:59,578 --> 00:23:04,583 - Being impaled by bamboo spokes is a horrible way to die. 402 00:23:04,883 --> 00:23:07,753 - So they're really not coming back. 403 00:23:07,786 --> 00:23:09,721 How awful. 404 00:23:09,755 --> 00:23:13,525 - Well, you know, death, unfortunately, 405 00:23:13,558 --> 00:23:15,827 is part of the journey. 406 00:23:15,861 --> 00:23:18,563 Would you like a Xanax? 407 00:23:18,597 --> 00:23:20,232 - Sidney thought it best for us, 408 00:23:20,265 --> 00:23:24,603 professionals and family, to give you guys the news 409 00:23:24,636 --> 00:23:27,539 and decide what to do with the dogs. 410 00:23:27,773 --> 00:23:29,241 - [Alex] Let's put them in the rescue. 411 00:23:29,274 --> 00:23:29,975 (laughs) 412 00:23:30,008 --> 00:23:31,710 - Alex. 413 00:23:31,743 --> 00:23:33,745 Daddy started that rescue for Greyhounds, 414 00:23:33,779 --> 00:23:36,114 not Labradoodles. 415 00:23:36,148 --> 00:23:37,783 - So? 416 00:23:37,816 --> 00:23:40,652 - [Alex] So, Greyhounds are abused on race tracks 417 00:23:40,685 --> 00:23:43,121 and deserve a good home. 418 00:23:43,155 --> 00:23:45,690 Labradoodles are just dogs. 419 00:23:45,724 --> 00:23:47,259 - So what are we supposed to do? 420 00:23:47,292 --> 00:23:49,928 Personally adopt them? 421 00:23:51,263 --> 00:23:53,665 - Dogs are kinda your thing. 422 00:23:53,698 --> 00:23:56,001 - We'll take them, but just for the time being. 423 00:23:56,034 --> 00:23:56,768 - [Richard] Alex! 424 00:23:56,802 --> 00:23:57,602 - What? 425 00:23:57,636 --> 00:23:59,871 We have no choice. 426 00:24:03,842 --> 00:24:05,844 (snorts and coughs) 427 00:24:05,877 --> 00:24:08,713 - Oh my god, Richard, are you okay? 428 00:24:09,247 --> 00:24:11,049 It's just so terrible. 429 00:24:12,217 --> 00:24:14,019 - What's gonna happen with the house? 430 00:24:14,052 --> 00:24:15,754 - It'll be sold. 431 00:24:15,787 --> 00:24:20,826 Well, there's no heirs and they were orphans too, you know. 432 00:24:20,859 --> 00:24:23,161 - They were such good people. 433 00:24:23,195 --> 00:24:26,598 (laughs) - Right, good people. 434 00:24:26,631 --> 00:24:28,900 With out of control debt, back taxes. 435 00:24:28,934 --> 00:24:31,703 Is 10 minutes enough for you to gather your shit? 436 00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:36,575 - (stuttering) Of course. 437 00:24:36,608 --> 00:24:38,844 - I need 15. 438 00:24:38,877 --> 00:24:40,846 (car engine starts) 439 00:24:56,328 --> 00:24:59,264 (wheelchair ramp whirrs) 440 00:24:59,297 --> 00:25:01,333 - [Paige] Oh, I almost forgot, 441 00:25:01,366 --> 00:25:02,934 it is time for some Vicky's. 442 00:25:02,968 --> 00:25:06,671 Just take half a tab, you're driving. 443 00:25:06,705 --> 00:25:08,740 - Thanks so much for helping me look around. 444 00:25:08,773 --> 00:25:10,208 Well, I guess Jake was joking. 445 00:25:10,242 --> 00:25:15,247 There's no nest egg or priceless artifacts hidden anywhere. 446 00:25:16,214 --> 00:25:18,984 - Face it, Jake was hilarious. 447 00:25:19,017 --> 00:25:21,653 - His passing's a real loss. 448 00:25:21,686 --> 00:25:23,188 - So sweet of you to lock up. 449 00:25:23,221 --> 00:25:25,690 There's an old Buddhist expression. 450 00:25:25,724 --> 00:25:27,826 "The sun rises only when it's ready." 451 00:25:27,859 --> 00:25:31,062 And today, you two are my sun. 452 00:25:31,096 --> 00:25:32,898 (keys jingle) 453 00:25:40,639 --> 00:25:43,074 - And boy are we ready. 454 00:25:43,108 --> 00:25:48,113 (sleuthing music) 455 00:26:11,169 --> 00:26:16,174 (rustling and banging) 456 00:26:27,786 --> 00:26:29,688 - I don't know. 457 00:26:29,721 --> 00:26:30,889 You don't think Jake actually gave our down payment 458 00:26:30,922 --> 00:26:33,224 to the orphans, do you? 459 00:26:33,258 --> 00:26:34,693 - Of course he did. 460 00:26:34,726 --> 00:26:36,695 - How can people be so mean? 461 00:26:36,728 --> 00:26:37,929 (Paige scoffs) 462 00:26:37,963 --> 00:26:40,432 - Face it, right now we are treating 463 00:26:40,465 --> 00:26:43,835 little orphan Coon-ley to an extreme home makeover. 464 00:26:43,868 --> 00:26:47,806 - Little orphan Kuenlay, and he's dead. 465 00:26:47,839 --> 00:26:49,741 - I don't give a shit. 466 00:26:50,442 --> 00:26:51,710 Like, you know what I mean. 467 00:26:51,743 --> 00:26:53,111 Our money is gone. 468 00:26:53,144 --> 00:26:56,681 - Well, at least it's going to a good cause. 469 00:26:57,248 --> 00:26:59,784 - We are a good cause! 470 00:26:59,818 --> 00:27:02,153 A giant oak tree split our living room in two! 471 00:27:02,187 --> 00:27:03,922 The city's going to evict us, 472 00:27:03,955 --> 00:27:07,192 now we're going to have to buy somewhere totally uncool! 473 00:27:07,225 --> 00:27:09,127 Like Pasadena. 474 00:27:10,061 --> 00:27:11,796 - I love you. 475 00:27:13,298 --> 00:27:15,100 - I love you too. 476 00:27:16,835 --> 00:27:18,903 (burps, gurgles) 477 00:27:22,340 --> 00:27:23,842 Sorry. 478 00:27:25,110 --> 00:27:27,846 - [Alex] Jake and Chloe gave their lives to those orphans. 479 00:27:27,879 --> 00:27:28,413 - [Richard] I know, and what are we doing 480 00:27:28,446 --> 00:27:29,114 to help the planet? 481 00:27:29,147 --> 00:27:30,715 Nothing. 482 00:27:30,749 --> 00:27:31,850 We're not composting, we're not planting trees, 483 00:27:31,883 --> 00:27:32,984 we're not even shopping local. 484 00:27:33,018 --> 00:27:34,085 - But we do follow the three R's. 485 00:27:34,119 --> 00:27:35,453 Reduce, reuse, recycle, 486 00:27:35,487 --> 00:27:37,188 and I bring cloth bags to Trader Joe's. 487 00:27:37,222 --> 00:27:39,157 - Face it, Alex, we are users! 488 00:27:39,190 --> 00:27:40,492 We're treating the world like our bitch. 489 00:27:40,525 --> 00:27:42,794 - Oh, I can't stop thinking of those orphans. 490 00:27:42,827 --> 00:27:43,661 Who's gonna help them now? 491 00:27:43,695 --> 00:27:45,096 - Well, that money would help them. 492 00:27:45,130 --> 00:27:46,264 - Yeah, if they get it. 493 00:27:46,297 --> 00:27:49,134 - No, it's stuck in a vacuum cleaner. 494 00:27:49,167 --> 00:27:50,201 And you know what that lawyer said, 495 00:27:50,235 --> 00:27:52,203 Jake and Chloe had debt, so... 496 00:27:52,237 --> 00:27:53,805 - So when that money is found, 497 00:27:53,838 --> 00:27:54,906 and it will be found, it's gonna go to creditors. 498 00:27:54,939 --> 00:27:57,108 - Or worse, the IRS. 499 00:27:57,142 --> 00:27:58,476 - Then it's up to us. 500 00:27:58,510 --> 00:27:59,778 We are going back to that house, 501 00:27:59,811 --> 00:28:01,379 to our house, and getting that money. 502 00:28:01,413 --> 00:28:04,115 We have to, for the orphans. 503 00:28:04,449 --> 00:28:07,018 - You are so turning me on right now. 504 00:28:07,052 --> 00:28:09,020 - I'm kinda turned on, too. 505 00:28:09,554 --> 00:28:10,121 - Richard. 506 00:28:10,155 --> 00:28:11,389 - What? 507 00:28:11,923 --> 00:28:13,191 - Are you tweeting again? 508 00:28:13,224 --> 00:28:15,126 - No, no, I'm just checking some email. 509 00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:16,761 - Right. 510 00:28:20,799 --> 00:28:22,801 - Oh oh, this is it. 511 00:28:29,274 --> 00:28:32,977 Alright, let's do this. 512 00:28:36,347 --> 00:28:38,850 - Okay, put your hands together, give me a boost. 513 00:28:38,883 --> 00:28:39,517 - [Richard] Okay. 514 00:28:39,551 --> 00:28:41,920 (laughs) This is fun. 515 00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:43,455 Okay. 516 00:28:44,923 --> 00:28:47,492 Oh, god, Alex you're so heavy! 517 00:28:47,525 --> 00:28:49,227 You should really think about dieting! 518 00:28:49,260 --> 00:28:50,428 - [Alex] I wish you would not even 519 00:28:50,462 --> 00:28:51,362 comment on my weight right now, Richard! 520 00:28:51,396 --> 00:28:52,530 - Oh, okay, sorry. 521 00:28:52,564 --> 00:28:53,898 You're light as a feather, 522 00:28:53,932 --> 00:28:56,201 you're practically anorexic, Jesus. 523 00:28:57,902 --> 00:28:59,838 (Alex shouts, thuds) 524 00:29:04,275 --> 00:29:05,009 - [Richard] Okay. 525 00:29:05,043 --> 00:29:06,077 - [Alex] Richard. 526 00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:09,247 (fence creaks) 527 00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:09,681 - Hold on. 528 00:29:09,714 --> 00:29:11,316 Yeah, yeah. 529 00:29:14,519 --> 00:29:16,588 - Richard, that's all the doors and windows. 530 00:29:16,621 --> 00:29:17,555 They're locked. 531 00:29:17,589 --> 00:29:18,490 (Richard groans) 532 00:29:18,523 --> 00:29:19,858 Maybe we should just give up. 533 00:29:19,891 --> 00:29:21,826 - No, no, we are getting in there! 534 00:29:21,860 --> 00:29:24,929 - Aww, you really care about those kids. 535 00:29:24,963 --> 00:29:28,566 - Yes, yes, and I have to pee! 536 00:29:29,601 --> 00:29:31,803 Oh, here, hold this. 537 00:29:34,105 --> 00:29:36,174 - Oh, oh, what if the alarm goes off? 538 00:29:36,207 --> 00:29:37,108 - Well, if the alarm goes off 539 00:29:37,142 --> 00:29:38,576 I'll pee in the bushes. 540 00:29:38,610 --> 00:29:40,979 Back up, back up. 541 00:29:41,913 --> 00:29:42,514 (glass crashes) 542 00:29:42,547 --> 00:29:43,848 Oh! 543 00:29:45,183 --> 00:29:46,050 No alarm. 544 00:29:46,084 --> 00:29:46,918 - [Alex] No alarm. 545 00:29:46,951 --> 00:29:47,852 - Give me that. 546 00:29:47,886 --> 00:29:49,487 (toilet flushes) 547 00:29:49,521 --> 00:29:52,023 - Woo, that was-- 548 00:29:52,056 --> 00:29:53,057 (alarm sounds) 549 00:29:53,091 --> 00:29:55,860 Shit, shit, shit, shit! 550 00:29:55,894 --> 00:29:56,961 Don't panic? 551 00:29:56,995 --> 00:29:57,529 Why, because the police are on their way over here 552 00:29:57,562 --> 00:29:58,196 right this very second? 553 00:29:58,229 --> 00:29:59,964 - Just calm down, Richard. 554 00:29:59,998 --> 00:30:01,065 - I can't go to jail. 555 00:30:01,099 --> 00:30:02,534 I can't wear orange, I'm a winter! 556 00:30:02,567 --> 00:30:04,435 - Let's just get the money quick. 557 00:30:04,469 --> 00:30:05,970 - No, wait, let's just turn the alarm off. 558 00:30:06,004 --> 00:30:06,871 - No, no, no, no! 559 00:30:06,905 --> 00:30:08,072 Jake gave us our own code, 560 00:30:08,106 --> 00:30:09,474 the alarm company will know it's us. 561 00:30:09,507 --> 00:30:11,609 - Okay, plan B, let's just get the money quick. 562 00:30:11,643 --> 00:30:13,111 - Wait, how is that different than plan A?! 563 00:30:13,144 --> 00:30:17,015 - Okay, relax, let's just get the money. 564 00:30:17,916 --> 00:30:19,150 - Look it, it's gone! 565 00:30:19,184 --> 00:30:20,351 What are we gonna do? 566 00:30:20,385 --> 00:30:21,920 Those little babies are depending on us. 567 00:30:21,953 --> 00:30:23,922 - Relax, I put it back in the secret room. 568 00:30:23,955 --> 00:30:25,256 (alarm blaring) 569 00:30:25,290 --> 00:30:26,958 See? - Thank god! 570 00:30:27,458 --> 00:30:29,894 - Wait, wait, wait, what about him? 571 00:30:29,928 --> 00:30:30,595 - Richard, we're not shopping. 572 00:30:30,628 --> 00:30:32,163 It's hideous. 573 00:30:32,197 --> 00:30:35,066 (dogs barking) 574 00:30:35,366 --> 00:30:36,534 - [Alex] Damnit! 575 00:30:36,568 --> 00:30:37,468 - [Richard] You're kidding me. 576 00:30:37,502 --> 00:30:39,904 - [Alex] It was an accident, Richard! 577 00:30:39,938 --> 00:30:43,074 (money rustling) 578 00:30:44,275 --> 00:30:46,044 (car doors slam) 579 00:30:46,077 --> 00:30:47,612 - Woo! 580 00:30:47,645 --> 00:30:48,446 That was-- 581 00:30:48,479 --> 00:30:49,581 - Oh, oh Richard, kiss me, kiss me. 582 00:30:49,614 --> 00:30:51,216 Kiss me, quick. - Oh, oh! 583 00:30:51,249 --> 00:30:52,550 (police sirens) 584 00:30:52,584 --> 00:30:54,619 (brakes squealing) 585 00:30:58,289 --> 00:30:59,691 - Okay, okay, let's go. 586 00:30:59,724 --> 00:31:01,559 - Alex, I am not some sex machine. 587 00:31:01,593 --> 00:31:04,028 You cannot just do that and then stop. 588 00:31:04,062 --> 00:31:05,697 - You wanna explain that to the police? 589 00:31:05,730 --> 00:31:07,332 - Let's go. 590 00:31:07,365 --> 00:31:09,701 - Thank you, those alarms are beyond annoying. 591 00:31:09,734 --> 00:31:10,668 Worst headache ever. 592 00:31:10,702 --> 00:31:12,937 - Oh, I have Vicodin. 593 00:31:12,971 --> 00:31:15,173 You know what they say, shrinks always have the best shit. 594 00:31:15,206 --> 00:31:17,275 - I can't, really. 595 00:31:17,308 --> 00:31:19,010 (mumbles) 596 00:31:20,612 --> 00:31:22,113 - (whispers) For later. 597 00:31:23,381 --> 00:31:25,416 - Vicodin for a headache. 598 00:31:25,450 --> 00:31:28,253 What do you do for a migraine, shoot up? 599 00:31:28,286 --> 00:31:30,521 - We are friends of Jake and Chloe, 600 00:31:30,555 --> 00:31:33,224 and our lawyer, who is sadly disabled. 601 00:31:33,258 --> 00:31:36,527 - Detective Diane Kirshman, LAPD robbery homocide. 602 00:31:36,561 --> 00:31:38,429 - Doctor Paige Whitehead. 603 00:31:40,565 --> 00:31:43,635 And this is my husband, Doctor Cooper Whitehead. 604 00:31:43,668 --> 00:31:45,036 - Hello. 605 00:31:45,069 --> 00:31:47,305 - My condolences. 606 00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:51,142 (clears throat) For your loss. 607 00:31:51,643 --> 00:31:54,245 Can you just give me a second? 608 00:31:54,279 --> 00:31:55,446 So what do you got? 609 00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:57,582 - Point of entry was in the window. 610 00:31:57,615 --> 00:31:58,783 This. 611 00:31:58,816 --> 00:32:02,720 - Also found this in the bathroom, grande cafe mocha. 612 00:32:02,754 --> 00:32:03,421 Still warm. 613 00:32:03,454 --> 00:32:06,457 - Okay, good work, let's motor. 614 00:32:06,491 --> 00:32:08,660 I want the burglary forensics team here ASAP. 615 00:32:08,693 --> 00:32:10,061 - You got it. 616 00:32:10,094 --> 00:32:10,762 - Excuse me, but how do you already know 617 00:32:10,795 --> 00:32:12,964 that anything's been taken? 618 00:32:13,698 --> 00:32:16,701 - Just a hunch, but I'm pretty sure 619 00:32:17,235 --> 00:32:20,204 that the Buddha doesn't shed cash. 620 00:32:25,610 --> 00:32:27,578 (romantic music) 621 00:32:27,612 --> 00:32:29,747 - Oh my god. 622 00:32:29,781 --> 00:32:32,283 I can't remember the last time I had so much fun. 623 00:32:32,317 --> 00:32:34,152 (laughs) - Aside from the alarm, 624 00:32:34,185 --> 00:32:36,087 money flying everywhere, and almost getting caught, 625 00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:39,724 we're like our own private gay mafia. 626 00:32:40,224 --> 00:32:41,693 (kisses) 627 00:32:42,393 --> 00:32:45,997 - Helping children really does turn you on, doesn't it? 628 00:32:46,331 --> 00:32:47,665 - Yep. 629 00:32:47,699 --> 00:32:50,268 That and fear of prison. 630 00:32:50,301 --> 00:32:53,338 - Prison, that's hot. 631 00:32:53,671 --> 00:32:57,308 (kissing and moaning) 632 00:32:57,342 --> 00:32:59,544 - What kind of thief leaves behind money? 633 00:32:59,577 --> 00:33:02,180 - The same kind of thief that breaks in using a rock, 634 00:33:02,213 --> 00:33:03,681 sets off the alarm, and then leaves 635 00:33:03,715 --> 00:33:04,682 Starbucks on the premises. 636 00:33:04,716 --> 00:33:06,718 - A homeless person? 637 00:33:06,751 --> 00:33:09,287 - Thinking someone not that together. 638 00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:11,556 - You're not thinking Alex and Richard, are you? 639 00:33:11,589 --> 00:33:13,358 - This break in reeks of them! 640 00:33:13,391 --> 00:33:14,792 - Well, we should tell that detective. 641 00:33:14,826 --> 00:33:15,793 - Tell her what? 642 00:33:15,827 --> 00:33:17,495 We've got no evidence. 643 00:33:17,528 --> 00:33:18,463 Besides, we do that and all of our cash 644 00:33:18,496 --> 00:33:21,199 blows straight to Jake and Chloe's estate, 645 00:33:21,232 --> 00:33:23,634 or worse, the orphans. 646 00:33:23,668 --> 00:33:25,570 Okay, we've gotta figure this out. 647 00:33:25,603 --> 00:33:27,472 Be smarter than them. 648 00:33:27,705 --> 00:33:30,375 - Can we do that? 649 00:33:30,408 --> 00:33:32,110 - Of course, it's Richard and Alex we're talking about. 650 00:33:32,143 --> 00:33:34,412 It's like dealing with hairy children. 651 00:33:34,445 --> 00:33:39,450 (upbeat music) 652 00:34:10,681 --> 00:34:14,419 - Some peoples taste is all in their mouths. 653 00:34:48,319 --> 00:34:49,687 (sighs) 654 00:34:56,794 --> 00:34:57,695 - Richard. 655 00:34:57,728 --> 00:34:59,430 - Oh, Alex, never sneak up on me 656 00:34:59,464 --> 00:35:01,833 when I'm coveting our take. 657 00:35:01,866 --> 00:35:03,701 (sniffles) Come here, sit. 658 00:35:03,734 --> 00:35:05,336 Sit down. 659 00:35:08,339 --> 00:35:09,740 Look at all this. 660 00:35:10,408 --> 00:35:12,877 Do you know what this is? 661 00:35:12,910 --> 00:35:14,378 - Grand theft larceny. 662 00:35:14,412 --> 00:35:16,647 - Funny, no, no! 663 00:35:16,681 --> 00:35:21,752 This is homes, cars, vacations, clothes. 664 00:35:21,786 --> 00:35:25,756 This is our ticket to fabulous. 665 00:35:25,790 --> 00:35:29,460 - And how fabulous is a clean conscience? 666 00:35:32,530 --> 00:35:33,865 - You're right. 667 00:35:33,898 --> 00:35:35,566 - I am. 668 00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:36,400 - [Richard] Here I am fantasizing about a mint 669 00:35:36,434 --> 00:35:37,535 condition 670 00:35:37,568 --> 00:35:40,671 "Charlie's Angles" Angels in Chains lunch box and... 671 00:35:40,938 --> 00:35:43,674 (sighs) Children are hungry. 672 00:35:45,643 --> 00:35:46,878 (claps) 673 00:35:47,745 --> 00:35:49,647 Hand me that Shopvac. 674 00:35:50,882 --> 00:35:52,450 - What are we doing? 675 00:35:52,483 --> 00:35:55,520 - We're doing the right thing, right now. 676 00:35:56,721 --> 00:36:01,726 (foreign music) 677 00:36:02,660 --> 00:36:05,429 - [Richard] Hi, we'd like to talk to someone 678 00:36:05,463 --> 00:36:08,466 about the children of Bhutan. 679 00:36:10,368 --> 00:36:13,271 - Are you two alright? 680 00:36:13,304 --> 00:36:15,273 You both look... 681 00:36:16,440 --> 00:36:17,808 Queer. 682 00:36:20,745 --> 00:36:23,447 One moment please, (speaking in foreign language). 683 00:36:23,481 --> 00:36:24,649 (phone beeps) 684 00:36:24,682 --> 00:36:25,850 Special assistant. 685 00:36:25,883 --> 00:36:30,888 (whispering in foreign language) 686 00:36:32,557 --> 00:36:33,457 - (speaking in foreign language), pleasure. 687 00:36:33,491 --> 00:36:35,660 I'm Rigzang Wangchuck, special assistant 688 00:36:35,693 --> 00:36:38,696 to the ambassador of the kingdom of Bhutan. 689 00:36:38,729 --> 00:36:40,464 - Oh, cool. 690 00:36:40,498 --> 00:36:42,867 I'm Richard Nearly and this is my husband, Alex Reardon. 691 00:36:42,900 --> 00:36:44,535 - Hey. 692 00:36:47,672 --> 00:36:52,009 - We're here to offer a very, very large donation 693 00:36:52,043 --> 00:36:54,879 to the orphans of your country. 694 00:36:57,315 --> 00:36:59,417 (laughs) 695 00:36:59,617 --> 00:37:01,419 - That's rather bizarre, wouldn't you say? 696 00:37:01,452 --> 00:37:02,720 Perhaps an orphan with housekeeping skills, 697 00:37:02,753 --> 00:37:04,789 might give them a leg up? 698 00:37:04,822 --> 00:37:07,792 (laughs) Do you fancy a boy or a girl? 699 00:37:07,825 --> 00:37:08,859 I'll order you a girl. 700 00:37:08,893 --> 00:37:09,927 - Oh, we don't want a girl. 701 00:37:09,961 --> 00:37:11,329 - Oh, you fancy a boy. 702 00:37:11,362 --> 00:37:14,365 - We don't fancy a boy or girl or child. 703 00:37:14,398 --> 00:37:16,701 Although we love children. 704 00:37:16,734 --> 00:37:20,404 - We were house sitting for the Joneses, Jake and Chloe. 705 00:37:20,438 --> 00:37:22,039 You must know them, right? 706 00:37:22,073 --> 00:37:23,641 - From helpuscare.org. 707 00:37:23,674 --> 00:37:25,509 - They died recently in that big rickshaw accident. 708 00:37:25,543 --> 00:37:27,712 - I am the special assistant to the ambassador 709 00:37:27,745 --> 00:37:29,080 of the kingdom of Bhutan. 710 00:37:29,113 --> 00:37:31,482 I do not monitor rickshaw accidents. 711 00:37:31,515 --> 00:37:33,551 - Okay, alright, chill. 712 00:37:33,584 --> 00:37:34,785 Sorry. 713 00:37:34,819 --> 00:37:36,554 But we found a lot of money in their house 714 00:37:36,587 --> 00:37:37,722 and we thought maybe you could... 715 00:37:37,755 --> 00:37:38,823 - Or the embassy. 716 00:37:38,856 --> 00:37:39,991 - Yeah, the embassy could take it 717 00:37:40,024 --> 00:37:41,659 and give it to the children of Bhutan. 718 00:37:41,692 --> 00:37:43,928 - So you don't fancy an orphan? 719 00:37:43,961 --> 00:37:46,697 You want to give me money. 720 00:37:52,637 --> 00:37:53,871 (high-pitched whistle blows) 721 00:37:53,904 --> 00:37:55,072 (speaking in foreign language) 722 00:37:55,106 --> 00:37:56,741 - Ow. 723 00:37:58,843 --> 00:38:01,679 - I am being offered money by these gay Americans. 724 00:38:01,712 --> 00:38:02,813 - Have you touched it? 725 00:38:02,847 --> 00:38:03,681 - I have not touched it, please note. 726 00:38:03,714 --> 00:38:06,751 - You have not touched it, so noted. 727 00:38:06,784 --> 00:38:08,719 - No, no, no, the money's not for you. 728 00:38:08,753 --> 00:38:09,754 It's for the orphans. 729 00:38:09,787 --> 00:38:10,721 - Do we know of any orphans? 730 00:38:10,755 --> 00:38:11,656 - We do not know any orphans. 731 00:38:11,689 --> 00:38:13,457 - I do not want your money. 732 00:38:13,491 --> 00:38:14,792 We do not want your money. 733 00:38:14,825 --> 00:38:17,795 In fact, I enthusiastically refuse your bribe. 734 00:38:17,828 --> 00:38:18,729 Please note. 735 00:38:18,763 --> 00:38:20,031 - [Assistant] So noted. 736 00:38:20,064 --> 00:38:22,366 - No, no, no, you don't understand. 737 00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:24,602 - No, after last year this embassy no longer 738 00:38:24,635 --> 00:38:25,803 accepts cash donations. 739 00:38:25,836 --> 00:38:28,139 - This has nothing to do with what happened last year. 740 00:38:28,172 --> 00:38:29,073 - He borrowed the money... 741 00:38:29,106 --> 00:38:30,775 - [Both] He did not steal it! 742 00:38:30,808 --> 00:38:32,576 - We don't think he did anything criminal. 743 00:38:32,610 --> 00:38:33,911 - [Both] Our ambassador is not the criminal! 744 00:38:33,944 --> 00:38:35,713 Our ambassador is not the criminal! 745 00:38:35,746 --> 00:38:37,381 - Please, you must leave now. 746 00:38:37,415 --> 00:38:38,582 - We must leave now. 747 00:38:38,616 --> 00:38:40,885 (both speaking in foreign language) 748 00:38:44,055 --> 00:38:46,123 - This was not a good idea, please note. 749 00:38:46,157 --> 00:38:47,758 - So noted. 750 00:38:47,792 --> 00:38:51,796 Well, I guess we need to find a new charity now, right? 751 00:38:51,829 --> 00:38:52,797 - Yeah, but let's get rid of the money first. 752 00:38:52,830 --> 00:38:55,800 That much cash really seems to set people off. 753 00:38:55,833 --> 00:38:57,702 Oh, you know, the Apple store's not far from here 754 00:38:57,735 --> 00:38:59,537 and I really want one of those 52 inch iMacs. 755 00:38:59,570 --> 00:39:00,404 - Richard! 756 00:39:00,438 --> 00:39:01,872 - [Richard] I'm kidding. 757 00:39:02,606 --> 00:39:04,775 They don't make them that big. 758 00:39:49,887 --> 00:39:51,689 - Hey, check it. 759 00:39:51,722 --> 00:39:54,024 That's a worthwhile charity. 760 00:39:55,226 --> 00:39:56,394 - Yeah, yeah. 761 00:39:56,427 --> 00:40:00,131 Dolphins are smart, they're like chimpanzees with fins. 762 00:40:00,164 --> 00:40:02,199 - They're practically children. 763 00:40:02,233 --> 00:40:04,802 - They could even be orphans. 764 00:40:06,270 --> 00:40:08,038 Two, please. 765 00:40:14,044 --> 00:40:15,246 Hi. 766 00:40:15,279 --> 00:40:17,148 - Hi, welcome to The Porpoise Purpose, 767 00:40:17,181 --> 00:40:20,217 part of citation sensation. 768 00:40:21,218 --> 00:40:23,888 - We would like to make a very large donation 769 00:40:23,921 --> 00:40:25,723 to the dolphins. 770 00:40:25,756 --> 00:40:26,791 - Porpoises. 771 00:40:26,824 --> 00:40:28,726 They're the people of the sea. 772 00:40:28,759 --> 00:40:31,595 I'd be happy to take your check or credit donation. 773 00:40:31,629 --> 00:40:32,263 - Okay. 774 00:40:32,296 --> 00:40:33,230 (Alex clears throat) 775 00:40:33,264 --> 00:40:33,998 Do you have a pen? 776 00:40:34,031 --> 00:40:34,832 - Sure. 777 00:40:34,865 --> 00:40:36,700 - [Richard] Thank you. 778 00:40:36,734 --> 00:40:37,868 (exhales) 779 00:40:38,602 --> 00:40:39,870 Porpoise Purpose. - Purpose. 780 00:40:39,904 --> 00:40:41,605 - [Richard] Okay, Porpoise Purpose. 781 00:40:41,639 --> 00:40:43,707 - Checks take a long time, don't they? 782 00:40:43,741 --> 00:40:44,608 - Right, they do. 783 00:40:44,642 --> 00:40:45,142 - They do. 784 00:40:45,176 --> 00:40:46,944 (clears throat) 785 00:40:47,645 --> 00:40:48,779 - Thank you, and would you like-- 786 00:40:48,813 --> 00:40:51,782 Sweet Jesus on a waffle cone! 787 00:40:51,816 --> 00:40:53,050 Are you shitting me? 788 00:40:53,083 --> 00:40:55,853 (stammering) This is the largest single donation 789 00:40:55,886 --> 00:40:57,822 that we have ever received. 790 00:40:58,289 --> 00:40:59,089 Oh my-- 791 00:40:59,123 --> 00:41:00,224 Thank you, thank you. 792 00:41:00,257 --> 00:41:01,625 Oh my god, thank you so much. 793 00:41:01,659 --> 00:41:02,226 Oh my god, you're such good people. 794 00:41:02,259 --> 00:41:03,160 - Sure, anytime. 795 00:41:03,194 --> 00:41:04,695 - Thank you. 796 00:41:04,728 --> 00:41:06,964 - Wait, wait, Misters Nearly and Reardon, 797 00:41:06,997 --> 00:41:08,766 you can't leave, not yet. 798 00:41:08,799 --> 00:41:09,834 Wait, right here, please. 799 00:41:09,867 --> 00:41:11,902 Just wait one second. 800 00:41:11,936 --> 00:41:13,003 (PA feedback) Bountiful angels are 801 00:41:13,037 --> 00:41:14,004 in the lobby. 802 00:41:14,038 --> 00:41:17,274 I repeat, bountiful angels are in the lobby. 803 00:41:18,776 --> 00:41:20,978 - Mister Nearly, Mister Reardon. 804 00:41:21,011 --> 00:41:22,780 - Stuart Hendron, executive director 805 00:41:22,813 --> 00:41:23,981 of The Porpoise Purpose. 806 00:41:24,014 --> 00:41:26,851 You are gonna help raise the profile of the porpoise, 807 00:41:26,884 --> 00:41:28,552 an often overlooked citation. 808 00:41:28,586 --> 00:41:30,654 - Well, that's great, we've always loved dolphins. 809 00:41:30,688 --> 00:41:31,789 - Porpoises. 810 00:41:31,822 --> 00:41:34,058 They're the people of the sea. 811 00:41:34,091 --> 00:41:36,727 If you don't mind me asking, are you familiar with them? 812 00:41:36,760 --> 00:41:38,562 - Well, of course. 813 00:41:38,596 --> 00:41:39,763 I mean, just because we're gay doesn't mean 814 00:41:39,797 --> 00:41:41,866 we don't like fish. 815 00:41:41,899 --> 00:41:44,235 - Well, that's good to know, but they're mammals. 816 00:41:44,268 --> 00:41:46,837 - Yes, and with a shorter beak than the dolphin, 817 00:41:46,871 --> 00:41:49,974 the porpoises more popular, stupid cousin. 818 00:41:50,007 --> 00:41:52,977 Now, let me introduce you to somebody. 819 00:41:53,844 --> 00:41:55,713 This is Pete the Porpoise. 820 00:41:55,746 --> 00:41:59,083 He's not just our logo, he's a real little guy. 821 00:41:59,116 --> 00:42:01,852 - We keep him in a pool in the Sherman Oaks Galleria. 822 00:42:01,886 --> 00:42:02,686 - You do? 823 00:42:02,720 --> 00:42:03,921 - [Stuart] You bet. 824 00:42:03,954 --> 00:42:05,222 And your money's gonna make all the difference 825 00:42:05,256 --> 00:42:08,025 in his life and other porpoises' lives. 826 00:42:08,058 --> 00:42:09,727 - Alright, come this way. 827 00:42:09,760 --> 00:42:10,928 Come on, come this way. 828 00:42:10,961 --> 00:42:12,196 - No, oh... - [Stuart] Yeah, yeah, yeah. 829 00:42:12,229 --> 00:42:13,430 - Oh, no. 830 00:42:13,464 --> 00:42:15,833 - [Receptionist] You too, go right in front of the sign. 831 00:42:15,866 --> 00:42:16,867 - [Stuart] You're gonna love this. 832 00:42:16,901 --> 00:42:17,968 - You will love it. 833 00:42:18,002 --> 00:42:19,937 Okay, smile like a porpoise. 834 00:42:19,970 --> 00:42:24,875 - Right, say (imitates porpoise). 835 00:42:28,279 --> 00:42:29,613 (sighs) 836 00:42:29,813 --> 00:42:31,382 - We did the right thing. 837 00:42:31,415 --> 00:42:32,683 - Oh yeah, great. 838 00:42:32,716 --> 00:42:33,751 We helped a porpoise. 839 00:42:33,784 --> 00:42:34,885 - We did. 840 00:42:34,919 --> 00:42:36,086 - Good for you, Alex. 841 00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:37,054 Good for Pete. 842 00:42:37,087 --> 00:42:38,756 Good for all the goddamn people of the sea. 843 00:42:38,789 --> 00:42:40,324 - It is good for them! 844 00:42:40,357 --> 00:42:41,692 - And why didn't we use the card? 845 00:42:41,725 --> 00:42:44,728 We could've at least gotten miles. 846 00:42:50,901 --> 00:42:52,836 - Estate has put this home into auction, 847 00:42:52,870 --> 00:42:55,839 which means it's not only happening under the radar, 848 00:42:55,873 --> 00:42:59,843 they will consider any offer no matter how shameless. 849 00:43:00,144 --> 00:43:01,278 - Do you hear that? 850 00:43:01,312 --> 00:43:03,714 It's practically a personal invitation. 851 00:43:03,747 --> 00:43:06,350 - [Cooper] Well, well, well, look who's here. 852 00:43:06,383 --> 00:43:07,718 - Hi. 853 00:43:07,751 --> 00:43:09,787 (overlapping greetings) 854 00:43:09,820 --> 00:43:12,990 - We're here, just scooping out the real estate. 855 00:43:13,023 --> 00:43:15,993 - Interesting, interesting, so are we. 856 00:43:16,026 --> 00:43:18,796 - But you already have a house. 857 00:43:18,829 --> 00:43:21,332 - From which the city has asked us to vacate. 858 00:43:21,365 --> 00:43:22,833 - Oh, no. 859 00:43:22,866 --> 00:43:24,401 Is it because of the SODs? 860 00:43:24,435 --> 00:43:26,904 - The city treats trees like they're inanimate objects. 861 00:43:26,937 --> 00:43:28,138 - If only they weren't. 862 00:43:28,172 --> 00:43:31,175 - So you're just gonna buy another house. 863 00:43:31,208 --> 00:43:33,444 - Well, we can't keep living in the Four Seasons forever. 864 00:43:33,477 --> 00:43:35,179 (laughs) 865 00:43:35,212 --> 00:43:36,814 - But how can you afford this? 866 00:43:36,847 --> 00:43:39,450 - Well, how can anyone afford anything? 867 00:43:39,483 --> 00:43:40,884 I mean, it's not like you two recently 868 00:43:40,918 --> 00:43:42,152 came into a lot of money. 869 00:43:42,186 --> 00:43:43,754 Did you? 870 00:43:44,755 --> 00:43:47,057 - Yeah, did you? 871 00:43:48,158 --> 00:43:50,260 - We're not gonna buy it, it's out of our range. 872 00:43:50,294 --> 00:43:51,462 - It is pricey. 873 00:43:51,495 --> 00:43:52,229 - No it isn't. 874 00:43:52,262 --> 00:43:53,197 - It's not pricey? 875 00:43:53,230 --> 00:43:56,400 - No, it isn't out of our range. 876 00:43:58,769 --> 00:44:01,338 - Richard, can I talk to you? 877 00:44:01,372 --> 00:44:01,772 - Yeah. 878 00:44:01,805 --> 00:44:02,973 - Excuse me. 879 00:44:06,276 --> 00:44:08,846 - But Alex, this is Edendale! 880 00:44:08,879 --> 00:44:10,247 Our house! 881 00:44:10,280 --> 00:44:11,849 And we could be buying it right now, 882 00:44:11,882 --> 00:44:13,050 but instead, what did we do? 883 00:44:13,083 --> 00:44:15,052 We set up a pension plan for a porpoise. 884 00:44:15,085 --> 00:44:16,787 - And that's a beautiful thing. 885 00:44:16,820 --> 00:44:19,323 - Yes, yes, it is a beautiful thing, 886 00:44:19,356 --> 00:44:22,860 but that money belonged to the orphans of Bhutan, 887 00:44:22,893 --> 00:44:24,928 who, let's be honest, we screwed. 888 00:44:24,962 --> 00:44:26,196 - So you wanna get that money back 889 00:44:26,230 --> 00:44:28,399 and give it to the orphans of Bhutan? 890 00:44:28,432 --> 00:44:29,500 - Mm-hmm. 891 00:44:31,101 --> 00:44:35,372 If I am lying, may God strike me down this instant. 892 00:44:37,908 --> 00:44:39,143 (gasps) 893 00:44:40,010 --> 00:44:44,048 - I do not care how perfect this place is. 894 00:44:44,081 --> 00:44:45,282 Well, actually, I do, 895 00:44:45,315 --> 00:44:48,919 but that money, which is gone, isn't ours. 896 00:44:49,486 --> 00:44:50,454 - What if we could get it back? 897 00:44:50,487 --> 00:44:51,588 - We can't. 898 00:44:51,622 --> 00:44:54,925 - If we could, we could use the money to buy the house 899 00:44:54,958 --> 00:44:58,862 then we could take out a second and pay back the orphans. 900 00:44:58,896 --> 00:44:59,730 Then they've got their money, 901 00:44:59,763 --> 00:45:01,498 we've got Edendale, everybody's happy. 902 00:45:01,532 --> 00:45:03,233 - Do you think I'm enjoying this? 903 00:45:03,267 --> 00:45:05,235 Losing out to Paige yet again? 904 00:45:05,269 --> 00:45:06,470 It's humiliating! 905 00:45:06,503 --> 00:45:09,807 - [Richard] I know, I know, it is humiliating. 906 00:45:11,809 --> 00:45:13,343 I guess Paige and Cooper and their unborn 907 00:45:13,377 --> 00:45:16,513 demon spawn will be very happy here. 908 00:45:18,182 --> 00:45:20,918 - This is a turnkey sale, fully furnished. 909 00:45:20,951 --> 00:45:24,188 It's perfect for anyone with no personal sense of taste 910 00:45:24,221 --> 00:45:26,824 and very little money. 911 00:45:27,324 --> 00:45:29,560 - [Paige] Alex, sweetie. 912 00:45:29,593 --> 00:45:31,795 We should tell you, with what's happening with the house, 913 00:45:31,829 --> 00:45:33,831 we're going to have to sell Bitches Delight. 914 00:45:33,864 --> 00:45:34,832 - What? 915 00:45:35,799 --> 00:45:38,001 You can't just do that, I own half of it. 916 00:45:38,202 --> 00:45:40,003 - Actually, I can. 917 00:45:40,037 --> 00:45:44,341 When daddy left us the rescue, he gave me 51%. 918 00:45:45,175 --> 00:45:46,343 - What about the Greyhounds? 919 00:45:46,376 --> 00:45:48,278 - We're placing them with A Brighter Day. 920 00:45:48,312 --> 00:45:49,847 - No, you can't. 921 00:45:49,880 --> 00:45:51,148 That place does medical research! 922 00:45:51,181 --> 00:45:52,850 - Medical research? 923 00:45:52,883 --> 00:45:56,019 Where do these rumors come from? 924 00:45:56,053 --> 00:45:57,521 - [Paige] They will be fine. 925 00:45:57,554 --> 00:45:59,389 Those dogs are gonna get all the free make up 926 00:45:59,423 --> 00:46:02,960 and elective surgery any dog could ever want. 927 00:46:04,294 --> 00:46:05,896 - Well, that's Paige, 928 00:46:05,929 --> 00:46:07,931 buying real estate with the blood of abused dogs. 929 00:46:07,965 --> 00:46:09,333 - You don't think they're really gonna 930 00:46:09,366 --> 00:46:10,601 put the Greyhounds in that place, though, do you? 931 00:46:10,634 --> 00:46:11,969 (mumbles agreement) 932 00:46:12,002 --> 00:46:14,872 (scoffs) - If only we had the room. 933 00:46:15,539 --> 00:46:18,108 - Well, we could. 934 00:46:18,142 --> 00:46:19,510 - What? 935 00:46:20,043 --> 00:46:22,045 - No, no, forget it. 936 00:46:22,079 --> 00:46:23,447 - Okay. 937 00:46:23,981 --> 00:46:24,615 Forget what? 938 00:46:24,648 --> 00:46:26,016 - It's just... 939 00:46:27,484 --> 00:46:29,286 Alright, let's do it. 940 00:46:29,319 --> 00:46:31,121 - You wanna buy our house? 941 00:46:31,155 --> 00:46:32,289 You wanna buy Edendale? 942 00:46:32,322 --> 00:46:33,457 - Let's go back to The Porpoise Purpose 943 00:46:33,490 --> 00:46:35,893 and get our money back. 944 00:46:37,561 --> 00:46:38,228 - Hi. 945 00:46:38,262 --> 00:46:40,464 - Oh, good timing, you two. 946 00:46:40,497 --> 00:46:41,598 Look. 947 00:46:44,501 --> 00:46:46,570 - Huh, yeah, wow. 948 00:46:46,603 --> 00:46:47,938 Look at that. 949 00:46:47,971 --> 00:46:49,873 Listen, I wonder if we could speak 950 00:46:49,907 --> 00:46:52,409 to that nice gentleman we met yesterday. 951 00:46:52,442 --> 00:46:55,379 - Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Hendron isn't available. 952 00:46:55,412 --> 00:46:57,347 - Well, get him available because we need to talk. 953 00:46:57,381 --> 00:46:58,615 - Alex. 954 00:46:59,917 --> 00:47:02,886 We're kind of having a porpoise emergency. 955 00:47:02,920 --> 00:47:04,421 - Oh, I see. 956 00:47:04,454 --> 00:47:07,024 It's a porpoise emergency. 957 00:47:09,493 --> 00:47:11,595 Yeah, I have a couple of bountiful angels 958 00:47:11,628 --> 00:47:14,031 in the lobby, code red. 959 00:47:15,032 --> 00:47:16,934 I don't know, they're not leaving. 960 00:47:16,967 --> 00:47:18,235 Okay. 961 00:47:18,268 --> 00:47:20,170 He'll be right out. 962 00:47:20,204 --> 00:47:21,071 - Thanks. 963 00:47:21,104 --> 00:47:23,006 - Now, what is so urgent? 964 00:47:23,040 --> 00:47:25,242 - Well, I'm not sure if you know this... 965 00:47:25,275 --> 00:47:26,343 Well, of course you don't know this, 966 00:47:26,376 --> 00:47:27,578 how could you possibly know this? 967 00:47:27,611 --> 00:47:32,416 But Alex owns a Greyhound rescue and adoption organization. 968 00:47:33,550 --> 00:47:35,485 - No, I didn't, what's it called? 969 00:47:35,519 --> 00:47:37,354 - Well, the name is not important, 970 00:47:37,387 --> 00:47:39,223 but I just found out that my sister, 971 00:47:39,256 --> 00:47:41,959 who only owns 1% more than I do, 972 00:47:41,992 --> 00:47:43,193 is going to close it. 973 00:47:43,227 --> 00:47:44,595 - Oh, I'm so sorry. 974 00:47:44,628 --> 00:47:47,631 Listen, after yesterday we think of you as family. 975 00:47:47,664 --> 00:47:51,368 So if there's anything we can do, just ask. 976 00:47:51,401 --> 00:47:56,406 - Well, we were hoping you would say that because... 977 00:47:57,708 --> 00:47:58,642 Because... 978 00:47:58,675 --> 00:47:59,676 - We want our money back. 979 00:47:59,710 --> 00:48:02,546 (awkward laughter) 980 00:48:02,579 --> 00:48:04,581 - I'm sorry, I just thought I heard you say 981 00:48:04,615 --> 00:48:06,183 you wanted your money back. 982 00:48:06,216 --> 00:48:08,252 - It's 'cause that's what I said. 983 00:48:08,285 --> 00:48:10,053 - Well, that's impossible. 984 00:48:10,988 --> 00:48:12,689 - But we changed our mind. 985 00:48:12,723 --> 00:48:14,324 - Well, this isn't an Urban Outfitters. 986 00:48:14,358 --> 00:48:16,727 You just can't ask for a refund. 987 00:48:16,760 --> 00:48:18,428 - But you just said we were family. 988 00:48:18,462 --> 00:48:20,230 - Oh, we are. 989 00:48:20,764 --> 00:48:23,634 Just think of this as tough love. 990 00:48:29,506 --> 00:48:30,574 - [Voiceover] Well, that depends. 991 00:48:30,607 --> 00:48:33,377 How much are we talking about? 992 00:48:33,410 --> 00:48:35,178 - Not much. 993 00:48:35,212 --> 00:48:37,447 - Well, you see, the legal issue is... 994 00:48:37,481 --> 00:48:40,684 What is the status of the money as a gift? 995 00:48:40,717 --> 00:48:42,719 Does it pass automatically into the hands 996 00:48:42,753 --> 00:48:44,655 of the person accepting it? 997 00:48:44,688 --> 00:48:48,725 Or does the giver have the option of rescinding the gift? 998 00:48:48,759 --> 00:48:51,094 I mean, this is not necessarily fraud. 999 00:48:51,128 --> 00:48:53,096 You didn't go to The Porpoise Purpose 1000 00:48:53,130 --> 00:48:55,632 with the sole intention of defrauding them, did you? 1001 00:48:55,666 --> 00:48:56,133 - No. 1002 00:48:56,166 --> 00:48:57,734 - Of course not. 1003 00:48:59,236 --> 00:49:01,171 - Not now, Bethany. 1004 00:49:05,409 --> 00:49:07,444 - She has a very popular website. 1005 00:49:07,477 --> 00:49:08,545 I'm sorry, where were we? 1006 00:49:08,578 --> 00:49:12,482 Oh yes, you two just changed your minds, right? 1007 00:49:12,749 --> 00:49:16,053 Well, there's certainly no law against that. 1008 00:49:16,086 --> 00:49:18,588 - So what should we do? 1009 00:49:18,622 --> 00:49:20,590 - Go ahead and stop payment. 1010 00:49:20,624 --> 00:49:23,327 And if I were you, I'd do it sooner than later. 1011 00:49:24,361 --> 00:49:25,429 - [Voiceover] It's a big stack. 1012 00:49:25,462 --> 00:49:25,996 - [Alex] We're ready. 1013 00:49:26,029 --> 00:49:27,397 - Yeah, I think so. 1014 00:49:27,431 --> 00:49:29,599 - Alright, perfect. 1015 00:49:33,670 --> 00:49:36,640 - Okay, and then why don't you start on this stack, great. 1016 00:49:36,673 --> 00:49:37,507 - Oh. 1017 00:49:37,541 --> 00:49:38,675 - Oh, jeez. 1018 00:49:38,709 --> 00:49:40,177 Oh, I didn't do that. 1019 00:49:44,247 --> 00:49:46,049 - You guys are gonna be so happy. 1020 00:49:52,656 --> 00:49:54,791 Okay, so... 1021 00:49:57,361 --> 00:50:00,697 They've countered both you and one other couple. 1022 00:50:01,164 --> 00:50:02,733 - One other couple? 1023 00:50:02,766 --> 00:50:04,301 That's interesting. 1024 00:50:04,334 --> 00:50:05,469 - You don't by chance know if it's 1025 00:50:05,502 --> 00:50:08,438 Paige and Cooper Whitehead, do you? 1026 00:50:08,705 --> 00:50:12,209 - Ethically, I can't reveal that, 1027 00:50:12,242 --> 00:50:17,314 but since you guessed, you're not exactly wrong. 1028 00:50:17,347 --> 00:50:18,782 - Fuckers! 1029 00:50:19,649 --> 00:50:21,651 They're family. 1030 00:50:24,388 --> 00:50:29,159 I think I can clear this whole thing up right away. 1031 00:50:29,192 --> 00:50:31,428 We are planning on using Edendale 1032 00:50:31,461 --> 00:50:33,230 for the Greyhound rescue. 1033 00:50:33,263 --> 00:50:35,599 - Ah, that's a very noble aspiration. 1034 00:50:35,632 --> 00:50:36,700 (clears throat pointedly) 1035 00:50:36,733 --> 00:50:37,267 Well, what? 1036 00:50:37,300 --> 00:50:38,535 It is. 1037 00:50:38,568 --> 00:50:40,771 - So you'll agree to back out of buying it? 1038 00:50:41,671 --> 00:50:44,741 - Oh, let's see, how can I put this? 1039 00:50:44,775 --> 00:50:46,410 No. 1040 00:50:47,277 --> 00:50:50,814 - You don't seriously expect us to keep four Greyhounds 1041 00:50:50,847 --> 00:50:54,151 and three Labradoodles in an apartment, do you? 1042 00:50:54,184 --> 00:50:56,520 - I'm pregnant. 1043 00:50:56,720 --> 00:50:58,255 With twins. 1044 00:50:58,288 --> 00:50:59,322 - Twins? 1045 00:50:59,356 --> 00:51:00,757 (groans) - How very you of you. 1046 00:51:00,791 --> 00:51:03,226 - [Richard] If you back out, we'll be glad 1047 00:51:03,260 --> 00:51:05,729 to put you up in the guest house. 1048 00:51:05,762 --> 00:51:08,832 - Well, I'm sorry, but we're lousy guest house-- 1049 00:51:08,865 --> 00:51:10,567 house guests. 1050 00:51:10,600 --> 00:51:12,836 - I want daddy, the urn. 1051 00:51:12,869 --> 00:51:14,204 - No. 1052 00:51:14,237 --> 00:51:15,372 No way. 1053 00:51:15,405 --> 00:51:16,673 - Give me that and we'll back out. 1054 00:51:16,706 --> 00:51:18,141 - Paige. 1055 00:51:18,175 --> 00:51:19,576 - It is bad enough you got all his attention 1056 00:51:19,609 --> 00:51:22,746 his entire life, I am not parting with his ashes! 1057 00:51:22,779 --> 00:51:23,780 - Well then I guess you and your dogs 1058 00:51:23,814 --> 00:51:26,750 will have to continue living here in squalor. 1059 00:51:26,783 --> 00:51:30,754 (phone rings) 1060 00:51:30,787 --> 00:51:32,389 - Better take this. 1061 00:51:32,422 --> 00:51:33,356 Hello? 1062 00:51:33,757 --> 00:51:34,791 Yes. 1063 00:51:37,427 --> 00:51:38,895 Are you serious? 1064 00:51:38,929 --> 00:51:41,398 Well, that's great news. 1065 00:51:41,431 --> 00:51:43,166 That's fantastic. 1066 00:51:43,500 --> 00:51:45,168 Thank you. 1067 00:51:49,573 --> 00:51:51,374 - You're kidding! 1068 00:51:51,408 --> 00:51:53,477 (laughs) 1069 00:51:54,478 --> 00:51:57,514 You guys are not gonna believe this, 1070 00:51:57,547 --> 00:52:01,384 but it turns out you didn't qualify for financing. 1071 00:52:01,418 --> 00:52:02,786 - What? 1072 00:52:02,819 --> 00:52:03,920 There must be some mistake. 1073 00:52:03,954 --> 00:52:06,423 - No, you two can't afford Edendale! 1074 00:52:06,456 --> 00:52:09,559 - No, evidently it is you who cannot afford it! 1075 00:52:09,593 --> 00:52:10,594 - We got our house! 1076 00:52:10,627 --> 00:52:11,394 - [Richard] We got our house! 1077 00:52:11,428 --> 00:52:11,962 - We got our house! 1078 00:52:11,995 --> 00:52:13,263 - We got Edendale! 1079 00:52:13,296 --> 00:52:18,301 (laughs) 1080 00:52:20,370 --> 00:52:21,705 - Hold on. 1081 00:52:25,408 --> 00:52:25,809 - We're very sorry. 1082 00:52:25,842 --> 00:52:27,277 - Oh, god. 1083 00:52:28,778 --> 00:52:30,580 - [Richard] Oh, great, yeah, right in here. 1084 00:52:30,614 --> 00:52:31,748 - This is all kitchen stuff. 1085 00:52:31,781 --> 00:52:32,916 - Oh, really? 1086 00:52:32,949 --> 00:52:33,783 You can put it just right back there. 1087 00:52:33,817 --> 00:52:34,818 Right back there. 1088 00:52:34,851 --> 00:52:36,586 Thank you very much. 1089 00:52:36,620 --> 00:52:36,987 - Hey guys. 1090 00:52:37,020 --> 00:52:38,655 - Hello? 1091 00:52:38,688 --> 00:52:40,924 - I have a package I think you should take a look at. 1092 00:52:41,758 --> 00:52:43,393 - [Alex] Okay. 1093 00:52:47,731 --> 00:52:48,732 - Oh. 1094 00:52:50,333 --> 00:52:51,801 Thank you. - This yours? 1095 00:52:51,835 --> 00:52:53,970 - Yes, I'll take it, thank you. 1096 00:52:54,638 --> 00:52:56,306 It's from Bhutan. 1097 00:52:56,806 --> 00:52:58,975 It might be from Jake and Chloe. 1098 00:52:59,743 --> 00:53:00,644 - Richard. 1099 00:53:00,677 --> 00:53:01,444 - What? 1100 00:53:01,478 --> 00:53:03,280 They don't have heirs. 1101 00:53:03,580 --> 00:53:04,648 Oh my god. 1102 00:53:04,681 --> 00:53:06,650 - Ugh, you've gotta be kidding me. 1103 00:53:06,683 --> 00:53:08,752 (laughs) 1104 00:53:10,387 --> 00:53:12,355 - I kinda like it. 1105 00:53:12,389 --> 00:53:14,324 Looks like Paige. 1106 00:53:14,357 --> 00:53:19,296 (cheery music) 1107 00:53:25,802 --> 00:53:27,404 (knocking) 1108 00:53:31,575 --> 00:53:32,842 (laughs sarcastically) 1109 00:53:33,677 --> 00:53:37,747 - Thank you both for putting us up. 1110 00:53:37,781 --> 00:53:40,750 This is the most glamorous eight by eight foot space 1111 00:53:40,784 --> 00:53:41,885 we've ever lived in. 1112 00:53:41,918 --> 00:53:43,753 - I know, it's a little small, but... 1113 00:53:43,787 --> 00:53:45,689 - No, we love it. 1114 00:53:45,722 --> 00:53:50,594 Plus we have view of your beautiful house 1115 00:53:50,627 --> 00:53:53,830 which we didn't qualify for. 1116 00:53:54,531 --> 00:53:56,299 - Paige, I've been thinking... 1117 00:53:56,333 --> 00:53:57,901 It's only fair. 1118 00:53:57,934 --> 00:54:00,870 You should have Dad. 1119 00:54:03,540 --> 00:54:04,074 - Oh. 1120 00:54:04,107 --> 00:54:05,842 (tender music) 1121 00:54:05,875 --> 00:54:07,711 Sweetie... 1122 00:54:08,712 --> 00:54:10,480 I love you. 1123 00:54:14,718 --> 00:54:15,952 You know what? 1124 00:54:15,986 --> 00:54:18,722 Daddy's weather safe, why don't we leave him 1125 00:54:18,755 --> 00:54:20,056 out here in the garden? 1126 00:54:20,090 --> 00:54:22,692 And that way we can both enjoy him. 1127 00:54:22,726 --> 00:54:23,727 - Really? 1128 00:54:23,760 --> 00:54:25,395 - Yeah. 1129 00:54:25,428 --> 00:54:27,631 - Paige, I know that we're only half-siblings 1130 00:54:27,664 --> 00:54:28,665 but I really-- 1131 00:54:28,698 --> 00:54:29,899 (gasps) - Oh, that is my 3:30. 1132 00:54:29,933 --> 00:54:33,069 Why don't we continue this Hallmark moment later, okay? 1133 00:54:33,103 --> 00:54:33,970 - Thank you so much. - Yeah. 1134 00:54:34,004 --> 00:54:35,472 - Come on in. 1135 00:54:35,505 --> 00:54:36,806 Here we go. 1136 00:54:36,840 --> 00:54:37,907 Bye! 1137 00:54:42,746 --> 00:54:45,815 - Where do you wanna live, Dad? 1138 00:54:46,149 --> 00:54:48,885 Where can I put you? 1139 00:54:56,726 --> 00:54:58,495 That's good. 1140 00:55:14,844 --> 00:55:16,846 - To our very own home. 1141 00:55:16,880 --> 00:55:20,750 No, to our very own castle. 1142 00:55:21,551 --> 00:55:23,820 - And living happily ever after. 1143 00:55:23,853 --> 00:55:25,689 (doorbell rings) 1144 00:55:28,625 --> 00:55:30,960 - Detective Dianne Kirshman, LAPD. 1145 00:55:30,994 --> 00:55:34,631 I'm looking into the deaths of Jake and Chloe Jones. 1146 00:55:37,600 --> 00:55:38,835 Thank you. 1147 00:55:39,769 --> 00:55:40,904 You two were house sitting for them 1148 00:55:40,937 --> 00:55:42,672 at the time of the murder, right? 1149 00:55:42,706 --> 00:55:44,174 - Yeah, but they weren't murdered. 1150 00:55:44,207 --> 00:55:45,742 - Really? 1151 00:55:45,775 --> 00:55:47,844 So you think that being run over several times 1152 00:55:47,877 --> 00:55:50,180 by the same vehicle is an accident? 1153 00:55:50,213 --> 00:55:52,182 - By vehicle don't you mean rickshaw? 1154 00:55:52,215 --> 00:55:53,583 Because we heard rickshaw. 1155 00:55:53,616 --> 00:55:54,784 - We did hear rickshaw. 1156 00:55:54,818 --> 00:55:58,855 - No, by vehicle I mean Chevy Tahoe. 1157 00:55:59,055 --> 00:56:00,657 - An SUV? 1158 00:56:00,690 --> 00:56:02,692 Jesus. 1159 00:56:03,860 --> 00:56:06,963 Do you know who did it? 1160 00:56:06,996 --> 00:56:09,899 - That's what I was just about to ask you. 1161 00:56:10,800 --> 00:56:13,803 - Well, we loved Jake and Chloe. 1162 00:56:13,837 --> 00:56:17,707 We were very good friends. 1163 00:56:18,608 --> 00:56:20,877 - How long did you know them? 1164 00:56:21,845 --> 00:56:25,849 - Well, we just met them once. 1165 00:56:26,583 --> 00:56:28,752 - [Richard] But we hit it off right away 1166 00:56:28,785 --> 00:56:32,522 and are still very, very sad. 1167 00:56:35,792 --> 00:56:38,862 Would you like some champagne? 1168 00:56:39,629 --> 00:56:41,998 Alright, thank you, goodbye. 1169 00:56:43,066 --> 00:56:45,702 Jesus H. Fuck, they were killed for that money 1170 00:56:45,735 --> 00:56:47,103 and do the killers now have that money? 1171 00:56:47,137 --> 00:56:48,938 No, they don't, we do! 1172 00:56:48,972 --> 00:56:50,573 - We don't know that. 1173 00:56:50,607 --> 00:56:52,008 That money could've very well belonged to the orphans. 1174 00:56:52,041 --> 00:56:53,042 - Then why didn't Jake and Chloe 1175 00:56:53,076 --> 00:56:54,744 bring it with them to Bhutan? 1176 00:56:54,778 --> 00:56:56,746 - Well maybe it belonged to other orphans! 1177 00:56:56,780 --> 00:56:58,481 - Other Bhutanese orphans?! 1178 00:56:58,515 --> 00:56:59,916 - Look, we said we were gonna give back the money 1179 00:56:59,949 --> 00:57:01,151 and I still think we should. 1180 00:57:01,184 --> 00:57:03,720 - Yes, I know, I know. 1181 00:57:03,753 --> 00:57:04,888 - What are you implying? 1182 00:57:04,921 --> 00:57:06,656 Now you don't want to. 1183 00:57:06,689 --> 00:57:08,792 - I'm just saying we should give this a good think. 1184 00:57:08,825 --> 00:57:10,527 There is no rush on this. 1185 00:57:10,560 --> 00:57:11,928 It's not like the orphans are reporting us 1186 00:57:11,961 --> 00:57:13,196 to credit bureaus. 1187 00:57:13,229 --> 00:57:14,764 - We don't know why they were killed 1188 00:57:14,798 --> 00:57:17,033 and, honestly, it makes no difference. 1189 00:57:17,066 --> 00:57:19,202 - It makes no difference?! 1190 00:57:19,235 --> 00:57:20,937 Being run over by a rickshaw is a bizarre 1191 00:57:20,970 --> 00:57:23,506 twist of fate, being run over by an SUV 1192 00:57:23,540 --> 00:57:25,675 means someone wanted to turn you into a waffle! 1193 00:57:25,708 --> 00:57:27,477 (clears throat) 1194 00:57:29,712 --> 00:57:30,713 How long have you been there? 1195 00:57:30,747 --> 00:57:31,748 - Long enough. 1196 00:57:31,781 --> 00:57:33,183 - Listen, we had to! 1197 00:57:33,216 --> 00:57:35,752 You were gonna send those dogs off to doggy Auschwitz! 1198 00:57:35,785 --> 00:57:37,987 - So you stole orphans' money and used it 1199 00:57:38,021 --> 00:57:40,890 to buy rescue dogs a fabulous house in Silver Lake? 1200 00:57:40,924 --> 00:57:42,759 - Oh, I wouldn't describe it like that. 1201 00:57:42,792 --> 00:57:43,827 - Well, how would you describe it? 1202 00:57:43,860 --> 00:57:44,828 - Well, what I would say is that we temporarily-- 1203 00:57:44,861 --> 00:57:46,963 - We don't have to explain anything to you. 1204 00:57:46,996 --> 00:57:47,897 - No. 1205 00:57:47,931 --> 00:57:48,832 - You don't have to talk to us 1206 00:57:48,865 --> 00:57:50,800 when you can talk to the police. 1207 00:57:51,701 --> 00:57:52,802 - You wouldn't dare. 1208 00:57:52,836 --> 00:57:54,103 - Oh yes they would. 1209 00:57:54,137 --> 00:57:56,539 - Of course we wouldn't! 1210 00:57:56,573 --> 00:57:58,808 We're family. 1211 00:57:59,008 --> 00:58:00,810 But what exactly were you planning on doing 1212 00:58:00,844 --> 00:58:03,313 when the killer showed up? 1213 00:58:03,346 --> 00:58:04,814 - You think they're gonna come here? 1214 00:58:04,848 --> 00:58:05,915 - Who knows what they'll do? 1215 00:58:05,949 --> 00:58:07,717 They're killers. 1216 00:58:07,750 --> 00:58:08,985 - Well, we were planning on cashing out 1217 00:58:09,018 --> 00:58:10,687 the second escrow closed. 1218 00:58:10,720 --> 00:58:13,289 - Look, I don't have an agenda here, 1219 00:58:13,323 --> 00:58:15,758 but I think that's a good idea. 1220 00:58:15,792 --> 00:58:19,095 Because if and when those killers show up... 1221 00:58:19,128 --> 00:58:21,598 - And they probably will. 1222 00:58:21,998 --> 00:58:23,333 Probably. 1223 00:58:23,366 --> 00:58:25,835 - They're gonna want their money. 1224 00:58:25,869 --> 00:58:27,737 - In cash. 1225 00:59:05,842 --> 00:59:07,043 - Richard. 1226 00:59:09,012 --> 00:59:12,181 (frantic music) 1227 00:59:14,417 --> 00:59:15,852 Oh my god. 1228 00:59:17,220 --> 00:59:18,922 Oh my god, the dogs. 1229 00:59:18,955 --> 00:59:20,256 Richard! 1230 00:59:20,790 --> 00:59:24,727 - Bring $983,000 to the Hyperion parking lot 1231 00:59:24,761 --> 00:59:27,797 Tuesday at noon, no police or else. 1232 00:59:27,830 --> 00:59:28,731 And then this doesn't make any sense, 1233 00:59:28,765 --> 00:59:30,733 it's a drawing of a dead camel. 1234 00:59:30,767 --> 00:59:31,801 - Wait. 1235 00:59:32,802 --> 00:59:35,305 That's not a camel, that's a Labradoodle. 1236 00:59:35,338 --> 00:59:36,606 - Really? 1237 00:59:36,806 --> 00:59:38,074 It's pathetic. 1238 00:59:38,107 --> 00:59:39,809 Oh my god, it's from the killers! 1239 00:59:39,842 --> 00:59:40,743 It has to be! 1240 00:59:40,777 --> 00:59:42,145 - (stutters) We don't know that! 1241 00:59:42,178 --> 00:59:43,780 - Who else could it be? 1242 00:59:43,813 --> 00:59:45,682 We didn't tell Cooper and Paige the exact amount. 1243 00:59:45,715 --> 00:59:47,317 - Oh, so we're not being blackmailed by family 1244 00:59:47,350 --> 00:59:48,685 well that's a plus. 1245 00:59:48,718 --> 00:59:49,886 - Yeah, it really warms the heart. 1246 00:59:49,919 --> 00:59:51,721 - [Alex] Oh my god I hope they're okay. 1247 00:59:51,754 --> 00:59:54,791 It is so awful, it's so unfair. 1248 00:59:54,824 --> 00:59:55,692 (sniffles) 1249 00:59:55,725 --> 00:59:56,159 I'm gonna call the police. 1250 00:59:56,192 --> 00:59:56,726 - No, wait! 1251 00:59:56,759 --> 00:59:58,328 Alex, no, you can't! 1252 00:59:58,361 --> 00:59:59,162 It says no police. 1253 00:59:59,195 --> 01:00:00,663 - I don't care! 1254 01:00:00,697 --> 01:00:02,799 They stole my babies! 1255 01:00:02,832 --> 01:00:05,635 We're not playing by their rules. 1256 01:00:07,103 --> 01:00:10,073 (phone rings) 1257 01:00:10,106 --> 01:00:12,141 - Detective Kirshman, homocide. 1258 01:00:12,175 --> 01:00:14,310 - [Alex] Hi, it's Alex Reardon, there's... 1259 01:00:14,344 --> 01:00:15,878 There's been a kidnapping. 1260 01:00:15,912 --> 01:00:18,181 (sobbing) Oh god they took our baby! 1261 01:00:18,214 --> 01:00:21,217 - Oh Jesus, okay, just calm down. 1262 01:00:21,250 --> 01:00:22,218 We're on the case. 1263 01:00:22,251 --> 01:00:23,853 Tell me everything. 1264 01:00:23,886 --> 01:00:25,888 - We, Richard and I, we came home 1265 01:00:25,922 --> 01:00:27,690 and we found this ransom note 1266 01:00:27,724 --> 01:00:30,226 by whatever sick fuck did this. 1267 01:00:30,259 --> 01:00:31,361 - Okay, don't you worry. 1268 01:00:31,394 --> 01:00:32,729 I live for this shit. 1269 01:00:32,762 --> 01:00:35,131 Now just tell me the names and ages 1270 01:00:35,164 --> 01:00:36,833 of each of the victims. 1271 01:00:36,866 --> 01:00:39,435 - Yeah, Hailey is six, Kaitlyn is five, 1272 01:00:39,469 --> 01:00:40,903 and Nick is... 1273 01:00:40,937 --> 01:00:42,772 (crying) 1274 01:00:42,805 --> 01:00:44,307 Nick is two. 1275 01:00:44,340 --> 01:00:45,875 - Oh my god. 1276 01:00:45,908 --> 01:00:47,410 Okay, I need you to come down to the station 1277 01:00:47,443 --> 01:00:51,180 and bring some pictures, and can you send me one ASAP? 1278 01:00:51,214 --> 01:00:52,382 - Yeah. 1279 01:00:52,982 --> 01:00:54,083 Hmm... 1280 01:00:57,020 --> 01:00:58,087 Aww. 1281 01:01:00,123 --> 01:01:01,891 - They're adorable. 1282 01:01:01,924 --> 01:01:03,826 - [Alex] Yeah, they're our babies. 1283 01:01:03,860 --> 01:01:05,862 Thank you, thank you so much. 1284 01:01:05,895 --> 01:01:07,063 - Okay. 1285 01:01:08,264 --> 01:01:09,432 (sighs) 1286 01:01:10,333 --> 01:01:12,301 - Are they gonna even do anything? 1287 01:01:12,335 --> 01:01:13,770 - They better! 1288 01:01:13,803 --> 01:01:16,039 That's our tax dollars at work. 1289 01:01:18,441 --> 01:01:19,509 - [News Anchor] We're bringing you live team coverage 1290 01:01:19,542 --> 01:01:22,745 of this truly awful local story out of Silver Lake. 1291 01:01:22,779 --> 01:01:25,748 The LAPD has just issued a statewide Amber alert 1292 01:01:25,782 --> 01:01:28,484 for these three missing children. 1293 01:01:28,518 --> 01:01:31,788 - Oh Jesus, what the hell is this? 1294 01:01:31,821 --> 01:01:32,855 - Oh my god, there's an Amber alert 1295 01:01:32,889 --> 01:01:34,290 for Richard's sister's kids? 1296 01:01:34,323 --> 01:01:36,793 - Just a toddler who misses his daddy. 1297 01:01:36,826 --> 01:01:41,831 - No, there's an Amber alert for Alex and Richard's dogs. 1298 01:01:42,131 --> 01:01:44,200 - I didn't know you could do that. 1299 01:01:44,233 --> 01:01:45,868 - You can't. 1300 01:01:46,202 --> 01:01:48,471 - Anyone with information is urged to please 1301 01:01:48,504 --> 01:01:51,474 call the LAPD Amber alert hotline. 1302 01:01:51,507 --> 01:01:53,910 Do it, for the children. 1303 01:01:55,111 --> 01:01:58,347 - The mind of the kidnapper is a vacant, empty basement. 1304 01:01:58,381 --> 01:02:00,817 These people frequently suffer from addiction 1305 01:02:00,850 --> 01:02:03,953 to drugs, alcohol, and Facebook. 1306 01:02:04,887 --> 01:02:09,892 (fast-tempo music) 1307 01:02:12,829 --> 01:02:14,030 - [Male Anchor] Hello. 1308 01:02:14,063 --> 01:02:14,964 - [Female Anchor] Hi, have you heard from the kidnappers? 1309 01:02:14,997 --> 01:02:15,965 - [Cameraman] Tell us about the victims. 1310 01:02:15,998 --> 01:02:16,866 - [Female Anchor] Was there any bite wounds? 1311 01:02:16,899 --> 01:02:18,668 - [Male Anchor] Who are you wearing? 1312 01:02:18,701 --> 01:02:19,368 - I got this at Clear's Boutique. 1313 01:02:19,402 --> 01:02:21,170 - (stammering) All we can say 1314 01:02:21,204 --> 01:02:24,474 is that they're all very well behaved, all of them. 1315 01:02:24,507 --> 01:02:26,242 - They're well-trained, actually. 1316 01:02:26,275 --> 01:02:28,978 - Except for with the postman, 1317 01:02:29,011 --> 01:02:32,048 they hump his leg like a horny little Hobbit. 1318 01:02:32,081 --> 01:02:34,884 - Well, it's the curry, it drives them crazy. 1319 01:02:34,917 --> 01:02:35,952 Oh, and I really shouldn't be saying this, 1320 01:02:35,985 --> 01:02:37,920 but Nick sort of has a crotch sniffing problem 1321 01:02:37,954 --> 01:02:40,022 if you wanna bring up where he got that. 1322 01:02:40,056 --> 01:02:42,325 - Hey, that's not appropriate. 1323 01:02:42,892 --> 01:02:44,594 - Wait, wait, wait, I've got a question for you! 1324 01:02:44,627 --> 01:02:46,829 - We really appreciate everything, 1325 01:02:46,863 --> 01:02:50,433 but isn't this a bit extreme? 1326 01:02:50,466 --> 01:02:52,001 - Extreme? 1327 01:02:52,268 --> 01:02:54,804 What could be more important? 1328 01:02:55,338 --> 01:02:56,873 Do you have some more pictures? 1329 01:02:56,906 --> 01:02:57,807 - Alex does. 1330 01:02:57,840 --> 01:03:00,510 - Okay, good, and I want to assure you 1331 01:03:00,543 --> 01:03:03,546 that we are doing everything possible 1332 01:03:03,579 --> 01:03:05,615 to find your children. 1333 01:03:05,648 --> 01:03:08,918 - Wait, did you say children? 1334 01:03:08,951 --> 01:03:11,120 - Yes, of course. 1335 01:03:13,122 --> 01:03:15,424 So, do you have the pictures? 1336 01:03:15,458 --> 01:03:17,560 - Yes Alex, show them to her. 1337 01:03:17,593 --> 01:03:19,095 Show them to her now. 1338 01:03:19,128 --> 01:03:20,096 - Richard, stop it. 1339 01:03:20,129 --> 01:03:23,199 - Is there a problem? 1340 01:03:23,966 --> 01:03:26,402 - We really appreciate everything that you've done, 1341 01:03:26,435 --> 01:03:29,238 but I think we're just gonna go home. 1342 01:03:29,272 --> 01:03:32,975 - Wait just a goddamn minute. 1343 01:03:33,910 --> 01:03:36,012 There was a kidnapping, right? 1344 01:03:36,045 --> 01:03:37,246 - Yes! 1345 01:03:37,647 --> 01:03:39,615 There was a kidnapping, that's true. 1346 01:03:39,649 --> 01:03:40,883 But... 1347 01:03:41,250 --> 01:03:43,419 (bag rustles) 1348 01:03:48,691 --> 01:03:49,358 - [Kirshman] What am I looking at? 1349 01:03:49,392 --> 01:03:50,893 These are pictures of dogs. 1350 01:03:50,927 --> 01:03:52,562 - They're Labradoodles, actually. 1351 01:03:52,595 --> 01:03:54,063 - They are dogs! 1352 01:03:54,964 --> 01:03:56,566 Why am I looking at pictures of dogs 1353 01:03:56,599 --> 01:03:59,335 with guns pointed at their snouts? 1354 01:03:59,368 --> 01:04:01,571 - Because they were kidnapped. 1355 01:04:01,604 --> 01:04:04,006 - They were my babies. 1356 01:04:05,107 --> 01:04:08,144 - Do you mean that I put an Amber alert out 1357 01:04:08,711 --> 01:04:11,447 on Labra-fucking-doodles?! 1358 01:04:11,480 --> 01:04:13,649 - I never said they were my actual children. 1359 01:04:13,683 --> 01:04:16,953 I mean, that's just stupid, right? 1360 01:04:17,653 --> 01:04:19,555 - You sent me pictures of children. 1361 01:04:19,589 --> 01:04:20,356 - No I didn't. 1362 01:04:20,389 --> 01:04:23,159 - Oh, yes you did. 1363 01:04:24,427 --> 01:04:26,929 - [Alex] Oh, jeez... 1364 01:04:27,496 --> 01:04:28,431 I mean, you asked for a picture. 1365 01:04:28,464 --> 01:04:29,498 That was the first one I found. 1366 01:04:29,532 --> 01:04:32,668 That picture is not of the children, clearly, 1367 01:04:32,702 --> 01:04:34,937 it's of the dogs. 1368 01:04:34,971 --> 01:04:37,573 - Detective, we are very sorry about this. 1369 01:04:37,607 --> 01:04:38,474 Aren't we, Alex? 1370 01:04:38,507 --> 01:04:40,610 - This is not my mistake. 1371 01:04:40,643 --> 01:04:43,079 - [Richard] Yes, we're sorry. 1372 01:04:43,112 --> 01:04:44,947 - You're sorry. 1373 01:04:46,482 --> 01:04:48,217 Are you fucking kidding me? 1374 01:04:48,251 --> 01:04:49,652 - Our dogs were kidnapped 1375 01:04:49,685 --> 01:04:51,621 and we still do need your help getting them back. 1376 01:04:51,654 --> 01:04:54,357 - Yeah, yeah, dog napping. 1377 01:04:55,024 --> 01:04:56,192 That's a crime, isn't it? 1378 01:04:56,225 --> 01:04:57,593 A crime? 1379 01:04:57,627 --> 01:04:58,961 That's a crime. 1380 01:04:58,995 --> 01:05:01,197 - It's a horrible crime. 1381 01:05:01,397 --> 01:05:03,266 - [Paige] I'm glad you came to us. 1382 01:05:03,299 --> 01:05:06,269 Kidnappings are our specialty. 1383 01:05:06,302 --> 01:05:07,637 - I thought you were grief counselors. 1384 01:05:07,670 --> 01:05:10,606 - We are, but if this doesn't work out, 1385 01:05:10,640 --> 01:05:13,442 we can help you through the grief process. 1386 01:05:13,476 --> 01:05:14,610 - What's that supposed to mean? 1387 01:05:14,644 --> 01:05:16,479 - [Cooper] I was speaking statistically. 1388 01:05:16,512 --> 01:05:18,681 And you're not a statistic! 1389 01:05:18,714 --> 01:05:20,116 Not yet! 1390 01:05:20,149 --> 01:05:22,118 - Well, look, I'm just going to give it to you, 1391 01:05:22,151 --> 01:05:24,687 if you pardon the expression, straight. 1392 01:05:24,720 --> 01:05:28,658 In these situations, most experts agree, 1393 01:05:28,691 --> 01:05:31,427 just pay the ransom. 1394 01:05:31,460 --> 01:05:34,230 - If we do that, then the kidnappers win. 1395 01:05:34,263 --> 01:05:39,201 - If you don't do it, you lose. 1396 01:05:39,635 --> 01:05:44,640 (oldies sleuthing music) 1397 01:05:56,352 --> 01:06:00,756 (gasps) - Oh no he did not. 1398 01:06:15,404 --> 01:06:20,409 (church bells ringing) 1399 01:06:22,545 --> 01:06:25,581 (vomits) 1400 01:06:30,119 --> 01:06:31,654 - [Cooper] Alright, there they are, 1401 01:06:31,687 --> 01:06:34,390 so drop the money off at the placement and location 1402 01:06:34,423 --> 01:06:36,759 and back off, you got it? 1403 01:06:36,792 --> 01:06:38,761 - Yeah, yep. 1404 01:06:38,794 --> 01:06:42,264 - Richard, bring them home. 1405 01:06:42,631 --> 01:06:44,266 - I will, baby. 1406 01:06:45,234 --> 01:06:46,502 I will. 1407 01:06:47,269 --> 01:06:49,772 - Oh dear god, can we just do this already? 1408 01:06:49,805 --> 01:06:54,810 (western standoff music) 1409 01:07:06,722 --> 01:07:08,824 - He's not backing off, why isn't he backing off? 1410 01:07:08,858 --> 01:07:09,692 - Oh Jesus. 1411 01:07:09,725 --> 01:07:11,794 (phone rings) 1412 01:07:14,196 --> 01:07:15,598 - Hey. 1413 01:07:15,631 --> 01:07:17,199 - Back off, please, you're supposed to back off, okay? 1414 01:07:17,233 --> 01:07:18,634 - Alright already. 1415 01:07:18,667 --> 01:07:20,369 - Come on, let's go. 1416 01:07:20,403 --> 01:07:21,737 Back off. 1417 01:07:21,771 --> 01:07:23,439 - You back off. 1418 01:07:24,907 --> 01:07:30,112 (western standoff music) 1419 01:07:37,753 --> 01:07:39,355 Jesus Christ. 1420 01:07:39,388 --> 01:07:43,092 - Oh god, it's just some guy in a tacky track suit. 1421 01:07:56,772 --> 01:07:57,606 (kidnapper grunts) 1422 01:07:57,640 --> 01:08:01,844 Oh my babies, my dogs! 1423 01:08:14,757 --> 01:08:16,892 Oh no, they look scared. 1424 01:08:16,926 --> 01:08:18,661 No, no, no. 1425 01:08:18,694 --> 01:08:19,462 Not my babies. - What are you doing? 1426 01:08:19,495 --> 01:08:21,263 (overlapping shouting) 1427 01:08:21,297 --> 01:08:23,299 - Come here, come here! 1428 01:08:23,332 --> 01:08:25,167 Come here! 1429 01:08:27,970 --> 01:08:28,871 - What is happening? 1430 01:08:28,904 --> 01:08:31,207 - You're so sweet! 1431 01:08:34,677 --> 01:08:35,778 - The hell is he doing? 1432 01:08:35,811 --> 01:08:37,713 - He is going back for our money! 1433 01:08:42,852 --> 01:08:44,887 (both grunt with effort) 1434 01:08:44,920 --> 01:08:47,690 (indistinct cooing) 1435 01:08:58,767 --> 01:09:00,503 - Look what you did! 1436 01:09:00,536 --> 01:09:02,238 - Aye, puta! 1437 01:09:02,771 --> 01:09:04,740 - Are you kidding me? 1438 01:09:05,007 --> 01:09:06,709 - Daddy's a hero! 1439 01:09:06,742 --> 01:09:08,277 (laughs) 1440 01:09:13,816 --> 01:09:16,685 (both laughing) 1441 01:09:16,719 --> 01:09:18,754 - Oh, oh shit. 1442 01:09:18,787 --> 01:09:19,889 I think that's vomit. 1443 01:09:20,689 --> 01:09:23,759 (groans) - Jesus Christ. 1444 01:09:25,427 --> 01:09:30,432 (mysterious music) 1445 01:09:48,751 --> 01:09:51,554 (speaking in foreign language) 1446 01:09:52,454 --> 01:09:53,689 (car horn beeps) 1447 01:10:04,833 --> 01:10:06,435 (door slams) 1448 01:10:06,468 --> 01:10:10,306 (speaking in foreign language) 1449 01:10:10,339 --> 01:10:14,743 - Si, ese loco hombre fucked us royally. 1450 01:10:15,611 --> 01:10:18,681 Okay, aqui, gracias. 1451 01:10:18,714 --> 01:10:20,849 - De nada, (speaking in foreign language). 1452 01:10:24,386 --> 01:10:26,655 - That is the last time I buy muscle on the 101. 1453 01:10:26,689 --> 01:10:28,557 - Is it just me or are we never getting our money back? 1454 01:10:28,591 --> 01:10:29,825 - Oh, we will get it back. 1455 01:10:29,858 --> 01:10:32,461 We just need to change our tactics. 1456 01:10:32,494 --> 01:10:33,762 - Oh? 1457 01:10:34,797 --> 01:10:36,398 Oh my god. 1458 01:10:37,800 --> 01:10:40,669 You're not suggesting putting out a hit on them? 1459 01:10:40,703 --> 01:10:42,071 - What? No. 1460 01:10:42,104 --> 01:10:43,806 He's my half-brother. 1461 01:10:43,839 --> 01:10:45,374 - No, of course not. 1462 01:10:45,407 --> 01:10:47,943 - No, we're gonna do the decent thing. 1463 01:10:47,977 --> 01:10:50,346 We're sending them to jail. 1464 01:10:52,481 --> 01:10:55,651 - [Kirsham] This must be so very hard for you. 1465 01:10:55,684 --> 01:10:56,785 - It is. 1466 01:10:56,819 --> 01:11:00,389 It's very, very difficult. 1467 01:11:00,823 --> 01:11:03,826 - This is about her dear brother, Alex Reardon. 1468 01:11:03,859 --> 01:11:06,528 R-E-A-R-D-O-N. 1469 01:11:06,562 --> 01:11:09,698 - And his husband Richard Nearly. 1470 01:11:09,732 --> 01:11:11,467 They are... 1471 01:11:14,003 --> 01:11:15,904 Gay thieves. 1472 01:11:17,873 --> 01:11:18,774 - Really? 1473 01:11:18,807 --> 01:11:20,809 What did they steal, rainbows? 1474 01:11:23,912 --> 01:11:26,915 - [Paige] They stole a million dollars 1475 01:11:26,949 --> 01:11:29,618 from Jake and Chloe Jones. 1476 01:11:29,652 --> 01:11:30,819 Then... 1477 01:11:31,687 --> 01:11:34,623 (sobbing) Oh god, this is a lot harder 1478 01:11:34,657 --> 01:11:37,426 than I thought it was gonna be. 1479 01:11:37,893 --> 01:11:42,398 They used the money to buy a fabulous house in Silver Lake. 1480 01:11:42,798 --> 01:11:43,999 - How do you know this? 1481 01:11:44,033 --> 01:11:46,735 - You've seen it, it's spectacular. 1482 01:11:46,769 --> 01:11:48,871 - How do you know they stole the money? 1483 01:11:48,904 --> 01:11:50,939 - [Paige] Oh, they told us. 1484 01:11:50,973 --> 01:11:52,374 - In confidence, which is why we're very 1485 01:11:52,408 --> 01:11:54,143 conflicted about this. 1486 01:11:54,176 --> 01:11:55,511 - Absolutely. 1487 01:11:55,544 --> 01:11:58,714 I have had acid reflux all morning. 1488 01:11:58,747 --> 01:12:01,884 - The money belongs to the orphans of Bhutan. 1489 01:12:01,917 --> 01:12:03,952 That's why we're here. 1490 01:12:03,986 --> 01:12:07,723 - For the orphans of Bhutan. 1491 01:12:07,756 --> 01:12:10,025 - Yes, God bless them. 1492 01:12:10,059 --> 01:12:12,161 - The LAPD is already investigating 1493 01:12:12,194 --> 01:12:16,432 your adorable brother and his lovely husband 1494 01:12:16,765 --> 01:12:18,734 and when the full extent of their little cha-cha 1495 01:12:18,767 --> 01:12:22,604 of crime comes to light, we are going to prosecute 1496 01:12:22,871 --> 01:12:26,475 to the fullest extent of the law. 1497 01:12:32,648 --> 01:12:33,749 - Can I help you? 1498 01:12:33,782 --> 01:12:36,552 - It's good, we're good. 1499 01:12:36,852 --> 01:12:41,857 (mysterious music) 1500 01:13:06,548 --> 01:13:07,950 - [Alex] Bhutan. 1501 01:13:13,155 --> 01:13:14,857 Oh Jesus. 1502 01:13:14,890 --> 01:13:16,125 (crashes) 1503 01:13:17,760 --> 01:13:18,894 Richard! 1504 01:13:20,629 --> 01:13:22,064 Holy shit. 1505 01:13:22,097 --> 01:13:23,866 Richard! 1506 01:13:24,767 --> 01:13:25,768 - [Richard] Why? What's going on? 1507 01:13:25,801 --> 01:13:26,869 Are you okay? 1508 01:13:26,902 --> 01:13:29,872 - I think Paige and Cooper killed Jake and Chloe. 1509 01:13:30,939 --> 01:13:32,107 - I believe that. 1510 01:13:32,141 --> 01:13:34,042 - Look, they were in Bhutan the same time 1511 01:13:34,076 --> 01:13:35,177 Jake and Chloe were killed. 1512 01:13:35,210 --> 01:13:35,944 Coincidence? 1513 01:13:35,978 --> 01:13:37,946 I don't think so! 1514 01:13:37,980 --> 01:13:40,682 - Do you really think your sister is capable of murder? 1515 01:13:40,716 --> 01:13:41,917 - Half-sister. 1516 01:13:41,950 --> 01:13:43,585 And check this out. 1517 01:13:43,619 --> 01:13:44,753 Lindsey Lohan would be impressed. 1518 01:13:44,787 --> 01:13:47,055 (gasps and laughs) 1519 01:13:47,089 --> 01:13:47,923 - Sorry. 1520 01:13:47,956 --> 01:13:48,924 (gasps) 1521 01:13:48,957 --> 01:13:52,628 - Turning in your family to the authorities. 1522 01:13:52,661 --> 01:13:53,595 It's never easy. 1523 01:13:53,629 --> 01:13:54,563 - We tried to take the high road 1524 01:13:54,596 --> 01:13:56,532 when we kidnapped their dogs. 1525 01:13:56,899 --> 01:13:59,268 - That cash is here, and we will find it, too, 1526 01:13:59,301 --> 01:14:00,769 once they're locked up. 1527 01:14:00,803 --> 01:14:01,603 - Yeah, but once they're arrested 1528 01:14:01,637 --> 01:14:04,673 won't the police search the house? 1529 01:14:08,210 --> 01:14:12,714 - Why didn't you bring that up before we went 1530 01:14:12,748 --> 01:14:13,882 to the LAPD? 1531 01:14:13,916 --> 01:14:15,684 - I just, it seemed that... 1532 01:14:15,717 --> 01:14:16,819 I mean, I thought maybe-- 1533 01:14:16,852 --> 01:14:18,120 Do you want a Vicky? 1534 01:14:18,153 --> 01:14:19,488 - Yes! 1535 01:14:19,721 --> 01:14:21,857 But I can't have one! 1536 01:14:21,890 --> 01:14:24,793 Because I am motherfucking pregnant! 1537 01:14:27,830 --> 01:14:30,766 - All those people coming and going, day and night. 1538 01:14:30,799 --> 01:14:32,134 - We thought they were getting treatment, 1539 01:14:32,167 --> 01:14:34,069 turns out they were getting high. 1540 01:14:34,102 --> 01:14:35,737 (dogs barking) - And another thing, 1541 01:14:35,771 --> 01:14:39,141 it is bad enough that we have to live in his hell hole, 1542 01:14:39,174 --> 01:14:41,710 must we walk through dog shit to get there? 1543 01:14:41,743 --> 01:14:42,978 Get out of the... 1544 01:14:43,011 --> 01:14:44,179 Shut up! 1545 01:14:44,213 --> 01:14:49,218 (western standoff music) 1546 01:15:20,148 --> 01:15:22,951 Why do I feel like I've been violated? 1547 01:15:25,220 --> 01:15:26,855 - You're pregnant. 1548 01:15:26,889 --> 01:15:29,691 - [Alex] We recently have begun to suspect 1549 01:15:29,725 --> 01:15:32,761 that Paige and her husband are... 1550 01:15:33,996 --> 01:15:35,998 - Drug dealing murderers. 1551 01:15:36,031 --> 01:15:38,200 - You're saying your sister's a killer. 1552 01:15:38,233 --> 01:15:40,769 - She and her husband Cooper. 1553 01:15:40,802 --> 01:15:42,638 - C-O-O-P-E-R. 1554 01:15:42,671 --> 01:15:43,739 (Alex mumbles agreement) 1555 01:15:43,772 --> 01:15:44,773 - They were in Bhutan the same time 1556 01:15:44,806 --> 01:15:45,707 Jake and Chloe were killed. 1557 01:15:45,741 --> 01:15:47,776 - How interesting. 1558 01:15:47,809 --> 01:15:50,612 The sudden burst of conscience. 1559 01:15:50,646 --> 01:15:51,847 - Well. 1560 01:15:51,880 --> 01:15:53,148 - Especially since they just told me 1561 01:15:53,181 --> 01:15:56,852 that you bought your house with stolen money. 1562 01:15:57,853 --> 01:15:59,922 - They did what now? 1563 01:15:59,955 --> 01:16:01,890 - Those fuckers! 1564 01:16:02,758 --> 01:16:03,926 Who we love. 1565 01:16:03,959 --> 01:16:05,928 - But it's not from the recycling bin. 1566 01:16:05,961 --> 01:16:06,962 - What difference does it make? 1567 01:16:06,995 --> 01:16:08,096 It's close enough. 1568 01:16:08,130 --> 01:16:10,899 - But it's not gonna smell the same. 1569 01:16:10,933 --> 01:16:13,802 - I'm not asking them to sniff truffles. 1570 01:16:13,835 --> 01:16:15,203 Vomit is vomit. 1571 01:16:15,237 --> 01:16:18,307 (vomits) 1572 01:16:21,443 --> 01:16:22,311 Here. 1573 01:16:22,344 --> 01:16:23,812 - Oh my god. 1574 01:16:23,845 --> 01:16:25,013 Disgusting. 1575 01:16:25,047 --> 01:16:27,416 Not you, just your vomit. 1576 01:16:27,449 --> 01:16:30,852 Okay, doggies, come have a sniff. 1577 01:16:30,886 --> 01:16:33,922 Here you go, doggies, have a sniff. 1578 01:16:57,946 --> 01:16:59,748 - Goddamn. 1579 01:17:00,849 --> 01:17:03,752 - Momma just got a hard-on. 1580 01:17:11,259 --> 01:17:13,061 I don't, I don't want to touch it. 1581 01:17:13,095 --> 01:17:14,396 - I suspected you two were up to something 1582 01:17:14,429 --> 01:17:16,832 so I did a little checking. 1583 01:17:16,865 --> 01:17:19,735 I found out that you recently made a cash deposit 1584 01:17:19,768 --> 01:17:23,071 of almost a million dollars. 1585 01:17:23,338 --> 01:17:26,141 Now that raises big questions. 1586 01:17:26,174 --> 01:17:30,245 Not just for me, but the IRS. 1587 01:17:30,512 --> 01:17:31,880 - The IRS. 1588 01:17:31,913 --> 01:17:33,482 - We can explain that. 1589 01:17:33,515 --> 01:17:35,884 - There's also been a complaint filed against you 1590 01:17:35,917 --> 01:17:39,721 by something called The Porpoise Purpose. 1591 01:17:40,255 --> 01:17:43,225 - Yeah, we had a bit of a run in with them. 1592 01:17:43,258 --> 01:17:44,793 - What kind of a person stops payment 1593 01:17:44,826 --> 01:17:46,928 on a check to a dolphin? 1594 01:17:46,962 --> 01:17:48,430 - Technically, they're porpoises. 1595 01:17:48,463 --> 01:17:49,765 They're the people of the sea. 1596 01:17:49,798 --> 01:17:51,433 - And we're very, very sorry. 1597 01:17:51,466 --> 01:17:54,469 - I've got one more question for you. 1598 01:17:54,503 --> 01:17:57,172 Who the hell do you think I am? 1599 01:17:57,873 --> 01:17:58,807 - A detective. 1600 01:17:58,840 --> 01:18:00,809 - Damn right I am. 1601 01:18:00,842 --> 01:18:01,977 You know what that means? 1602 01:18:02,010 --> 01:18:06,848 I'm not your nanny or your therapist or your bitch. 1603 01:18:06,882 --> 01:18:09,918 I am a detective with the fine organization 1604 01:18:09,951 --> 01:18:12,988 that is the Los Angeles Police Department. 1605 01:18:13,021 --> 01:18:14,790 - Yeah, I think what he meant. - That's what I meant. 1606 01:18:14,823 --> 01:18:17,959 - So I'm gonna tell you how this is going to go down. 1607 01:18:17,993 --> 01:18:20,962 I will look into your precious half-sister. 1608 01:18:20,996 --> 01:18:22,798 And you? 1609 01:18:22,831 --> 01:18:25,467 You're going to make good on your Porpoise Purpose pledge. 1610 01:18:25,500 --> 01:18:27,769 - We would really like to. 1611 01:18:27,803 --> 01:18:32,140 We would love to, but we can't. 1612 01:18:32,841 --> 01:18:36,078 - Okay, well I'm off to the DA's 1613 01:18:36,111 --> 01:18:37,446 and then to the IRS. 1614 01:18:37,479 --> 01:18:41,783 They are going to be riveted by my investigation. 1615 01:18:41,817 --> 01:18:45,487 Especially your tweets. 1616 01:18:45,520 --> 01:18:47,189 (Kirshman laughs) - My tweets? 1617 01:18:47,222 --> 01:18:47,689 - [Kirshman] Yes. 1618 01:18:47,722 --> 01:18:49,257 - You follow me? 1619 01:18:49,291 --> 01:18:52,127 - Confession by social media, very cutting edge. 1620 01:18:52,160 --> 01:18:53,929 Hashtag guilty. 1621 01:18:53,962 --> 01:18:55,263 - You tweeted about this? 1622 01:18:55,297 --> 01:18:57,432 - No, of course not! 1623 01:18:57,466 --> 01:19:00,035 I..Yes, I did, I'm sorry. 1624 01:19:00,068 --> 01:19:01,536 - Night, now. 1625 01:19:01,570 --> 01:19:03,405 - [Alex] We have the cash. 1626 01:19:03,438 --> 01:19:05,907 We took out a second. 1627 01:19:05,941 --> 01:19:08,577 - Which we were, coincidentally, 1628 01:19:08,610 --> 01:19:11,413 going to donate to The Porpoise Purpose. 1629 01:19:11,446 --> 01:19:13,014 - Giving. 1630 01:19:13,048 --> 01:19:15,250 Feels good, don't it? 1631 01:19:16,384 --> 01:19:17,886 - Paige! 1632 01:19:19,254 --> 01:19:21,957 Paige, open this door! 1633 01:19:23,625 --> 01:19:25,160 They're gone. 1634 01:19:25,193 --> 01:19:27,062 Why would they... 1635 01:19:27,929 --> 01:19:29,097 Oh! 1636 01:19:34,402 --> 01:19:36,905 - [Richard] Those bastards, they took it. 1637 01:19:36,938 --> 01:19:39,174 How can people be so goddamn greedy? 1638 01:19:39,207 --> 01:19:40,509 - You're right. 1639 01:19:40,542 --> 01:19:43,845 Greedy people, who steal. 1640 01:19:44,412 --> 01:19:46,481 Who does that remind you of? 1641 01:19:46,515 --> 01:19:47,449 - Alex! 1642 01:19:47,482 --> 01:19:51,887 Oh come on, this is completely different. 1643 01:19:51,920 --> 01:19:52,521 - Is it? 1644 01:19:52,554 --> 01:19:54,089 How, exactly? 1645 01:19:54,122 --> 01:19:55,557 - Don't be like this, Alex. 1646 01:19:55,590 --> 01:19:59,494 We did all of this for the orphans and for the dogs. 1647 01:19:59,528 --> 01:20:00,929 - Richard, enough. 1648 01:20:00,962 --> 01:20:01,596 - What? 1649 01:20:01,630 --> 01:20:02,631 - You know what. 1650 01:20:02,664 --> 01:20:05,100 Can we just be honest with ourselves for once? 1651 01:20:05,133 --> 01:20:06,868 (sighs) 1652 01:20:07,936 --> 01:20:09,604 - I just really wanted our house. 1653 01:20:09,638 --> 01:20:11,373 - That's great, if we could afford it. 1654 01:20:11,406 --> 01:20:13,175 - Well, we can. 1655 01:20:14,609 --> 01:20:15,544 Okay, maybe we can't. 1656 01:20:15,577 --> 01:20:16,878 - No, we definitely can't, 1657 01:20:16,912 --> 01:20:19,414 and now we're gonna lose it, why? 1658 01:20:19,447 --> 01:20:22,918 - Because your sister is an evil, manipulative freak? 1659 01:20:22,951 --> 01:20:24,252 - Aside from that. 1660 01:20:24,286 --> 01:20:27,088 It's like this obsession with you. 1661 01:20:27,122 --> 01:20:28,523 - Me? 1662 01:20:28,557 --> 01:20:31,293 Okay, okay, okay, so I'm the only one who wanted this. 1663 01:20:31,326 --> 01:20:32,627 - It's like you're trying to prove something. 1664 01:20:32,661 --> 01:20:34,996 (scoffs) It's like you want to be... 1665 01:20:35,030 --> 01:20:36,665 (gasps) - Don't say it! 1666 01:20:36,698 --> 01:20:37,632 - Straight! 1667 01:20:37,666 --> 01:20:39,501 - Don't you dare say that to me! 1668 01:20:39,534 --> 01:20:40,468 - It's true, isn't it? 1669 01:20:40,502 --> 01:20:41,436 You have straight envy. 1670 01:20:41,469 --> 01:20:42,571 - Me? 1671 01:20:42,604 --> 01:20:43,505 You're the one with straight envy! 1672 01:20:43,538 --> 01:20:44,372 You're the one who wants to adopt every 1673 01:20:44,406 --> 01:20:48,009 orphan and stray dog, Angelina Jolie! 1674 01:20:48,043 --> 01:20:50,078 - Well, what's wrong with that? 1675 01:20:51,279 --> 01:20:53,114 - [Richard] Maybe I don't want that. 1676 01:20:53,148 --> 01:20:54,482 - [Alex] Well... 1677 01:20:54,516 --> 01:20:56,651 You don't want to adopt? 1678 01:20:56,685 --> 01:20:57,552 Really? 1679 01:20:57,586 --> 01:20:58,520 - Alex, wait. 1680 01:20:58,553 --> 01:20:59,521 - No, you tell me. 1681 01:20:59,554 --> 01:21:01,323 Tell me right now. 1682 01:21:01,356 --> 01:21:04,092 - Of course I want kids. 1683 01:21:04,125 --> 01:21:05,293 But... 1684 01:21:05,727 --> 01:21:07,963 I'm just afraid they're not gonna let us. 1685 01:21:07,996 --> 01:21:10,699 Me, I'm afraid they're not gonna let me. 1686 01:21:10,732 --> 01:21:12,300 - What? 1687 01:21:12,968 --> 01:21:13,668 - Well... 1688 01:21:15,437 --> 01:21:17,105 Think about it, it's been months 1689 01:21:17,138 --> 01:21:18,607 and we still haven't been approved. 1690 01:21:18,640 --> 01:21:21,209 Obviously it's not because of you. 1691 01:21:22,310 --> 01:21:23,445 (sighs) 1692 01:21:24,980 --> 01:21:28,016 I just thought that maybe, maybe... 1693 01:21:29,150 --> 01:21:31,386 I love you so much. 1694 01:21:32,554 --> 01:21:34,456 I don't want you to look at me one day 1695 01:21:34,489 --> 01:21:37,959 and figure out that I'm not perfect. 1696 01:21:37,993 --> 01:21:42,998 (tender music) 1697 01:21:46,501 --> 01:21:48,670 - I already know. 1698 01:21:49,137 --> 01:21:50,939 - You do? 1699 01:21:52,774 --> 01:21:55,243 - You haven't disappointed me. 1700 01:21:55,543 --> 01:21:57,946 You couldn't, not really. 1701 01:21:58,747 --> 01:22:00,015 I love you. 1702 01:22:00,048 --> 01:22:02,050 - I love you, too. 1703 01:22:02,284 --> 01:22:05,086 - Let's get rid of this goddamn house. 1704 01:22:06,621 --> 01:22:10,659 (mumbling) 1705 01:22:15,630 --> 01:22:18,733 - So they are ready to make an offer. 1706 01:22:18,767 --> 01:22:21,369 It's low, but acceptable. 1707 01:22:21,403 --> 01:22:23,171 - No, absolutely not. 1708 01:22:23,204 --> 01:22:24,739 - [Cooper] Look at the bright side, 1709 01:22:24,773 --> 01:22:28,043 we're keeping the property in the family. 1710 01:22:28,076 --> 01:22:30,078 - Excellent, right? 1711 01:22:30,111 --> 01:22:31,713 - Jealousy. 1712 01:22:31,746 --> 01:22:33,982 It's a disease. 1713 01:22:34,349 --> 01:22:35,650 Get well soon, bitches. 1714 01:22:35,684 --> 01:22:37,652 (overlapping yelling) 1715 01:22:57,639 --> 01:22:58,606 - [Richard] Hi. 1716 01:22:58,640 --> 01:22:59,107 - [Alex] Oh, hey. 1717 01:22:59,140 --> 01:23:00,575 - [Richard] Hey. 1718 01:23:00,608 --> 01:23:03,044 - First of all, we are so, so, so sorry. 1719 01:23:03,078 --> 01:23:04,479 - Yes, very sorry. 1720 01:23:04,512 --> 01:23:05,814 - What happened has nothing to do with how we feel 1721 01:23:05,847 --> 01:23:09,084 about you or your organization or the porpoise. 1722 01:23:09,117 --> 01:23:11,219 It's our new favorite mammal. 1723 01:23:11,252 --> 01:23:13,388 (imitates porpoise) 1724 01:23:13,788 --> 01:23:14,689 - That's cute. 1725 01:23:14,723 --> 01:23:15,724 - Thank you. 1726 01:23:15,757 --> 01:23:18,326 - [Richard] And so, we would like to make good 1727 01:23:18,360 --> 01:23:20,762 on the donation that we promised... 1728 01:23:21,563 --> 01:23:23,765 ...in monthly installments. 1729 01:23:24,165 --> 01:23:25,266 Here. 1730 01:23:27,802 --> 01:23:29,738 Wait, where you going? 1731 01:23:29,771 --> 01:23:30,672 That's it? 1732 01:23:30,705 --> 01:23:32,173 Don't we get a thank you? 1733 01:23:32,207 --> 01:23:33,641 - A thank you? 1734 01:23:33,675 --> 01:23:36,211 It's one thing to make a million dollar donation, 1735 01:23:36,244 --> 01:23:37,679 but then to give us stolen money 1736 01:23:37,712 --> 01:23:40,582 and then take it back to buy a house? 1737 01:23:40,615 --> 01:23:43,151 And even though you gave me a check for $1,000 1738 01:23:43,184 --> 01:23:47,322 just to avoid going to jail, you want a thank you? 1739 01:23:50,325 --> 01:23:53,161 - We'd settle for a receipt. 1740 01:23:57,232 --> 01:23:58,466 - Ungrateful. 1741 01:23:58,500 --> 01:24:00,235 - Do you think we're gonna get the receipt? 1742 01:24:01,903 --> 01:24:05,440 - Oh Jesus, what happened? 1743 01:24:06,775 --> 01:24:11,513 - We were robbed by very messy thieves! 1744 01:24:11,713 --> 01:24:14,816 - Well, who would be stupid enough to rob us? 1745 01:24:17,786 --> 01:24:20,488 - Someone stupid with acid reflux. 1746 01:24:23,925 --> 01:24:25,693 But we just told you who did this. 1747 01:24:25,727 --> 01:24:27,762 - Yeah, yeah, I know. 1748 01:24:27,796 --> 01:24:29,597 It is with great difficulty that you implicate 1749 01:24:29,631 --> 01:24:32,367 your beloved sister-in-law, right? 1750 01:24:32,400 --> 01:24:33,701 - No, it's not. 1751 01:24:33,735 --> 01:24:34,569 She did this. 1752 01:24:34,602 --> 01:24:35,737 - And she should fry. 1753 01:24:35,770 --> 01:24:37,739 - This evidence is circumstantial. 1754 01:24:37,772 --> 01:24:39,574 Just let us do our investigation, 1755 01:24:39,607 --> 01:24:42,243 something else will turn up. 1756 01:24:43,211 --> 01:24:46,815 Now, do you have any idea what was taken? 1757 01:24:46,848 --> 01:24:48,183 - Yeah. 1758 01:24:48,383 --> 01:24:49,584 She... 1759 01:24:50,752 --> 01:24:53,188 She took this. 1760 01:24:53,221 --> 01:24:55,156 - That thing? 1761 01:24:55,190 --> 01:24:56,424 It's hideous. 1762 01:24:56,458 --> 01:24:58,359 You should thank her. 1763 01:24:58,393 --> 01:24:59,594 - (mockingly) It's hideous, you should thank her. 1764 01:24:59,627 --> 01:25:01,596 - [Kirsham] I heard that. 1765 01:25:09,904 --> 01:25:11,506 - Where did you find this? 1766 01:25:11,539 --> 01:25:13,775 - It was inside Edendale when we bought the place. 1767 01:25:13,808 --> 01:25:14,776 Why? 1768 01:25:14,809 --> 01:25:18,213 - [Lawyer] Because that is the Guntu Zangpo. 1769 01:25:18,246 --> 01:25:20,548 Ancient Bhutanese figurine. 1770 01:25:20,582 --> 01:25:23,785 Property of Bhutan's most ardent collector, 1771 01:25:23,818 --> 01:25:25,954 who died five months ago. 1772 01:25:25,987 --> 01:25:30,792 Jake and Chloe, known for their humanitarian work, 1773 01:25:30,825 --> 01:25:33,728 were also smuggling artifacts out of The Orient 1774 01:25:33,761 --> 01:25:37,632 and they owed me a great deal of money. 1775 01:25:37,665 --> 01:25:40,201 And the Zangpo was to be payment. 1776 01:25:40,235 --> 01:25:41,769 - So how much was it worth? 1777 01:25:41,803 --> 01:25:43,638 (laughs) 1778 01:25:43,671 --> 01:25:45,874 - Well, something like that is priceless, of course, 1779 01:25:46,341 --> 01:25:50,578 but I do know of a buyer who is willing to pay 1780 01:25:50,612 --> 01:25:51,579 10 million dollars. 1781 01:25:51,613 --> 01:25:53,882 - Are you telling me we had a 10 million dollar 1782 01:25:53,915 --> 01:25:55,950 tchotchke laying around the house? 1783 01:25:55,984 --> 01:25:58,353 - They took the Zangpo from you, 1784 01:25:58,386 --> 01:26:00,822 and now you're going to help me get it back from them. 1785 01:26:00,855 --> 01:26:02,790 - Hold on, we can't just go in there and steal it. 1786 01:26:02,824 --> 01:26:05,393 - If you do, I'll pay you 1/3 of its value. 1787 01:26:05,426 --> 01:26:08,329 That's $3,300,000. 1788 01:26:11,666 --> 01:26:13,468 - When do you want it? 1789 01:26:19,774 --> 01:26:22,644 - [Voiceover] Y'all say hello to my little friends. 1790 01:26:22,677 --> 01:26:23,778 (laughs) 1791 01:26:23,811 --> 01:26:24,946 Awful pretty, aren't they? 1792 01:26:24,979 --> 01:26:26,814 - Oh, I think I'm in love. 1793 01:26:26,848 --> 01:26:29,551 - [Richard] Hey guys, what's going on? 1794 01:26:29,584 --> 01:26:30,785 - [Cooper] Richard, now's not the time. 1795 01:26:30,818 --> 01:26:32,320 - [Alex] We missed you two. 1796 01:26:32,353 --> 01:26:34,756 We are family, after all. 1797 01:26:34,789 --> 01:26:35,657 - What do you think you're doing? 1798 01:26:35,690 --> 01:26:36,424 - [Cooper] No, no, no. 1799 01:26:36,457 --> 01:26:37,325 - [Paige] No, no. 1800 01:26:37,358 --> 01:26:38,793 (overlapping conversation) 1801 01:26:38,826 --> 01:26:40,562 - Look at this! 1802 01:26:40,595 --> 01:26:41,763 It's the Guntu Zangpo. 1803 01:26:41,796 --> 01:26:43,765 - Fresh from our apartment. 1804 01:26:43,798 --> 01:26:44,999 - Wait, your apartment? 1805 01:26:45,033 --> 01:26:46,334 I thought you said it was yours? 1806 01:26:46,367 --> 01:26:47,468 - It is. 1807 01:26:47,502 --> 01:26:48,169 Richard, you put that down right now 1808 01:26:48,202 --> 01:26:49,771 or I am calling the police. 1809 01:26:49,804 --> 01:26:51,839 - Oh, you want me to put it down? 1810 01:26:51,873 --> 01:26:52,774 Alright. 1811 01:26:52,807 --> 01:26:54,576 (all gasp) 1812 01:26:54,776 --> 01:26:55,777 - Oh dear Jesus. 1813 01:26:55,810 --> 01:26:57,312 - Oh, what did you do?! 1814 01:26:57,345 --> 01:26:58,279 (gasps) 1815 01:26:58,980 --> 01:27:00,715 Cooper, Cooper, Cooper, drugs! 1816 01:27:00,748 --> 01:27:02,417 - You know, she has gastroesophageal reflux 1817 01:27:02,450 --> 01:27:03,384 syndrome. 1818 01:27:03,418 --> 01:27:04,652 Look what you're doing to her, you freak. 1819 01:27:04,686 --> 01:27:06,888 - Chill, it's heartburn! 1820 01:27:06,921 --> 01:27:08,289 - Chill? 1821 01:27:08,323 --> 01:27:09,757 You fucking chill! 1822 01:27:09,791 --> 01:27:10,925 - [Alex] Hey, hey, back off! 1823 01:27:10,959 --> 01:27:12,493 For Jesus Christ, you're pregnant! 1824 01:27:12,527 --> 01:27:13,628 - [Cooper] Remember the baby. 1825 01:27:13,661 --> 01:27:15,563 - Okay, y'all, I've had a long day, 1826 01:27:15,597 --> 01:27:17,699 so I think Imma just go. 1827 01:27:17,732 --> 01:27:20,435 - Everyone calm down, look. 1828 01:27:20,468 --> 01:27:21,803 - Oh my gay God. 1829 01:27:21,836 --> 01:27:22,870 - What, there's another one? 1830 01:27:22,904 --> 01:27:24,606 - Very amusing. 1831 01:27:24,639 --> 01:27:25,773 - You didn't think he'd break something 1832 01:27:25,807 --> 01:27:26,741 worth 10 million dollars, did you? 1833 01:27:26,774 --> 01:27:27,842 - What, 10? 1834 01:27:27,875 --> 01:27:28,977 You're charging me 12. 1835 01:27:29,010 --> 01:27:30,712 - We are still negotiating. 1836 01:27:30,745 --> 01:27:32,580 Richard, give it to me. 1837 01:27:32,614 --> 01:27:33,781 - First, answer a few questions for us. 1838 01:27:33,815 --> 01:27:35,617 - Oh, give me a goddamn break. 1839 01:27:35,650 --> 01:27:36,084 - What? 1840 01:27:36,117 --> 01:27:36,718 You wouldn't. 1841 01:27:36,751 --> 01:27:38,319 - Try me. 1842 01:27:38,353 --> 01:27:40,488 - Just tell him whatever the fuck he wants to hear. 1843 01:27:40,521 --> 01:27:42,724 - Why did you go to Bhutan? 1844 01:27:44,626 --> 01:27:46,694 - Jake and Chloe were going to give our money 1845 01:27:46,728 --> 01:27:49,597 to those stupid orphans, so we followed them 1846 01:27:49,631 --> 01:27:52,500 to Bhutan to get it back, but it didn't work. 1847 01:27:52,533 --> 01:27:53,001 - And so you killed them? 1848 01:27:53,034 --> 01:27:53,801 - What? 1849 01:27:53,835 --> 01:27:54,969 We don't kill people. 1850 01:27:55,003 --> 01:27:56,104 We're therapists, we help people. 1851 01:27:56,137 --> 01:27:58,606 - Yeah, by selling them drugs. 1852 01:27:58,640 --> 01:27:59,707 - Drugs? 1853 01:27:59,741 --> 01:28:01,576 Oh my god! 1854 01:28:01,609 --> 01:28:02,543 We'll talk later. 1855 01:28:02,577 --> 01:28:03,378 - What? 1856 01:28:03,411 --> 01:28:03,878 That is not true. 1857 01:28:03,911 --> 01:28:05,079 - Really? 1858 01:28:05,513 --> 01:28:07,782 - Jesus Christ, fine, okay. 1859 01:28:07,815 --> 01:28:09,617 We hook people up. 1860 01:28:09,651 --> 01:28:11,686 You have to to get ahead of this town. 1861 01:28:11,719 --> 01:28:12,954 - I knew it. 1862 01:28:12,987 --> 01:28:14,822 - [Paige] Hand over the dragon! 1863 01:28:14,856 --> 01:28:18,693 - [Lawyer] First wait one goddamn minute! 1864 01:28:18,726 --> 01:28:19,894 - Sidney. 1865 01:28:19,927 --> 01:28:21,663 - Why is that man pointing a gun at us? 1866 01:28:21,696 --> 01:28:23,698 - [Richard] I thought we were handling this. 1867 01:28:23,731 --> 01:28:25,133 - Yes, well, you were. 1868 01:28:25,166 --> 01:28:29,070 Then I realized that you two have an issue with trust. 1869 01:28:29,103 --> 01:28:30,605 Give me the Zangpo. 1870 01:28:30,638 --> 01:28:32,740 - Oh, nuh-uh, hold up, sweetheart. 1871 01:28:32,774 --> 01:28:35,777 You want that thing, you're gonna have to come through me. 1872 01:28:35,810 --> 01:28:37,378 - Who the hell is he? 1873 01:28:37,412 --> 01:28:38,112 - He's a buyer. 1874 01:28:38,146 --> 01:28:39,947 Paige found him on Craigslist. 1875 01:28:39,981 --> 01:28:41,449 - [Sidney] Yeah, well I went all the way to Bhutan 1876 01:28:41,482 --> 01:28:44,585 for that figurine and I want it now. 1877 01:28:44,619 --> 01:28:45,953 - [Richard] You were there, too? 1878 01:28:45,987 --> 01:28:47,121 You killed them! 1879 01:28:47,155 --> 01:28:48,756 (laughs) 1880 01:28:48,790 --> 01:28:50,591 - Well, the official story is 1881 01:28:50,625 --> 01:28:51,926 I was driving over to meet them 1882 01:28:51,959 --> 01:28:54,462 and accidentally drove over them. 1883 01:28:54,495 --> 01:28:55,797 - [Alex] Twice? 1884 01:28:55,830 --> 01:28:58,566 - The way Bhutan modifies cars for the disabled 1885 01:28:58,599 --> 01:29:00,902 is a disgrace. 1886 01:29:00,935 --> 01:29:02,704 And all for nothing because those two 1887 01:29:02,737 --> 01:29:05,506 didn't have the Zangpo. 1888 01:29:05,540 --> 01:29:06,574 Jake was a liar. 1889 01:29:06,607 --> 01:29:09,711 - Yeah, try getting him to pay for a sick tree. 1890 01:29:09,744 --> 01:29:10,645 - [Buyer] You know what? 1891 01:29:10,678 --> 01:29:11,946 This is all very interesting, 1892 01:29:11,979 --> 01:29:13,848 but I think Imma just take this... 1893 01:29:13,881 --> 01:29:14,682 (gunshot) 1894 01:29:14,716 --> 01:29:15,883 (screams) 1895 01:29:15,917 --> 01:29:19,821 Oh my god, you shot me, you butthole! 1896 01:29:21,055 --> 01:29:22,757 This is Italian! 1897 01:29:22,790 --> 01:29:26,027 Oh my god, somebody, somebody call 911! 1898 01:29:26,060 --> 01:29:27,762 (groans) 1899 01:29:27,795 --> 01:29:28,763 - Thank goodness. 1900 01:29:28,796 --> 01:29:29,897 - Okay, that's it. 1901 01:29:29,931 --> 01:29:31,132 When Buddhists start shooting people, 1902 01:29:31,165 --> 01:29:33,835 something is very seriously wrong. 1903 01:29:34,469 --> 01:29:35,770 (gasps) 1904 01:29:35,803 --> 01:29:40,808 (tense music) 1905 01:30:02,797 --> 01:30:04,165 (thudding slice) 1906 01:30:16,144 --> 01:30:18,980 (urn crashes) 1907 01:30:28,856 --> 01:30:29,924 (Paige gasps) 1908 01:30:31,893 --> 01:30:36,898 (yelling and scuffling) 1909 01:30:37,965 --> 01:30:40,101 - Oh, oh, no! 1910 01:30:40,134 --> 01:30:43,538 (dramatic music) 1911 01:30:43,571 --> 01:30:44,238 (Zangpo crashes) 1912 01:30:44,272 --> 01:30:46,774 Oh no, no, no! 1913 01:30:48,910 --> 01:30:51,012 - You chose me over the sculpture. 1914 01:30:51,045 --> 01:30:53,781 - Honey, you are my brother. 1915 01:30:53,815 --> 01:30:55,817 Oh god, what have I done?! 1916 01:30:55,850 --> 01:30:58,586 - I am your brother, that's why I feel so ba-- 1917 01:30:58,619 --> 01:31:00,021 - [Kirsham] LAPD nobody move! 1918 01:31:00,054 --> 01:31:02,690 - ...about throwing you in jail. 1919 01:31:02,723 --> 01:31:04,859 - [Kirsham] Get the paramedics up here ASAP 1920 01:31:04,892 --> 01:31:06,894 and maybe a coroner, too. 1921 01:31:06,928 --> 01:31:07,795 You alright? 1922 01:31:07,829 --> 01:31:08,729 - [Richard] We're good. 1923 01:31:08,763 --> 01:31:09,697 - [Cooper] What's going on here? 1924 01:31:09,730 --> 01:31:10,164 - I'm wearing a wire. 1925 01:31:10,198 --> 01:31:11,098 (Paige gasps) 1926 01:31:11,132 --> 01:31:12,633 And guess who just confessed. 1927 01:31:12,667 --> 01:31:14,068 - You're under arrest for unlawful sale 1928 01:31:14,101 --> 01:31:17,538 of prescription narcotics and refusal to comply 1929 01:31:17,572 --> 01:31:21,809 with a court order to demolish one dead oak. 1930 01:31:22,910 --> 01:31:24,812 - [Buyer] Those people are ruthless! 1931 01:31:24,846 --> 01:31:26,681 They're just, they're a menace! 1932 01:31:26,714 --> 01:31:27,815 That's what they are. 1933 01:31:27,849 --> 01:31:28,716 You know, they shouldn't even be allowed 1934 01:31:28,749 --> 01:31:29,650 to be out on the streets, 1935 01:31:29,684 --> 01:31:31,853 let alone allowed to sell antiquities. 1936 01:31:31,886 --> 01:31:33,888 I mean, I've seen trash in my day. 1937 01:31:33,921 --> 01:31:36,157 It's nothing like that. 1938 01:31:36,190 --> 01:31:39,894 - I hope we can someday be a family again. 1939 01:31:40,695 --> 01:31:41,796 - Me, too. 1940 01:31:41,829 --> 01:31:44,899 (slow music) 1941 01:31:44,932 --> 01:31:46,100 You can start by getting us 1942 01:31:46,133 --> 01:31:47,935 the best lawyer in Southern California. 1943 01:31:47,969 --> 01:31:50,872 - Yes, preferably one who's not a Buddhist. 1944 01:31:55,676 --> 01:31:58,813 - You broke both sculptures. 1945 01:31:58,846 --> 01:32:01,983 You threw away 10 million dollars. 1946 01:32:02,950 --> 01:32:06,087 You are insane. 1947 01:32:09,757 --> 01:32:11,325 - Come with me. 1948 01:32:18,833 --> 01:32:19,233 (creaking) 1949 01:32:19,267 --> 01:32:21,903 And voila. 1950 01:32:22,303 --> 01:32:25,072 The real Guntu Zangpo. 1951 01:32:25,106 --> 01:32:26,374 - My god, there were three? 1952 01:32:26,407 --> 01:32:27,308 - Yeah. 1953 01:32:27,341 --> 01:32:28,776 Well, the other two were fakes. 1954 01:32:28,809 --> 01:32:29,744 - How do you know? 1955 01:32:29,777 --> 01:32:31,879 - Well, this is the one that Jake and Chloe 1956 01:32:31,913 --> 01:32:33,114 sent back from Bhutan. 1957 01:32:33,147 --> 01:32:35,917 Plus, it's older and dirtier. 1958 01:32:35,950 --> 01:32:37,985 And I Googled it. 1959 01:32:38,019 --> 01:32:39,353 (laughs) 1960 01:32:42,890 --> 01:32:47,895 (foreign music) 1961 01:33:09,917 --> 01:33:12,820 - So this school was built by donations 1962 01:33:12,853 --> 01:33:15,656 from another American couple. 1963 01:33:15,690 --> 01:33:18,659 Perhaps you've heard of them. 1964 01:33:18,693 --> 01:33:22,063 - Honey, they really were good people. 1965 01:33:22,263 --> 01:33:24,865 - We still mourn their passing 1966 01:33:24,899 --> 01:33:29,136 and wonder who, now, will take over their good work. 1967 01:33:31,906 --> 01:33:34,108 - Hey, hey there. 1968 01:33:34,408 --> 01:33:35,843 We know you. 1969 01:33:35,876 --> 01:33:36,911 Kuenlay? 1970 01:33:36,944 --> 01:33:37,845 We saw you in a movie. 1971 01:33:37,878 --> 01:33:40,414 - Oh, Alex, no, remember, this isn't... 1972 01:33:40,448 --> 01:33:43,217 - Oh, oh god, I'm sorry. 1973 01:33:43,250 --> 01:33:46,153 - [Monk] This is Kuenlay's brother, Kuenphay. 1974 01:33:46,187 --> 01:33:48,389 - Hi, I'm Alex. 1975 01:33:49,457 --> 01:33:53,828 (soft music) 1976 01:33:53,861 --> 01:33:54,929 This is Richard. 1977 01:33:54,962 --> 01:33:56,897 - Hi, I'm Ri-- 1978 01:33:57,431 --> 01:33:59,233 (Alex chuckles) 1979 01:34:04,739 --> 01:34:07,174 We actually have something for you. 1980 01:34:10,378 --> 01:34:14,982 - Oh, another Guntu Zangpo, it can't be. 1981 01:34:20,888 --> 01:34:25,893 (tender music) 1982 01:34:28,896 --> 01:34:30,931 Thank you. 1983 01:34:31,265 --> 01:34:32,867 Thank you. 1984 01:34:34,235 --> 01:34:37,405 This will take care of children for generations. 1985 01:34:39,206 --> 01:34:42,143 How can we ever thank you? 1986 01:34:46,814 --> 01:34:49,016 - What do you say, honey? 1987 01:34:49,050 --> 01:34:52,153 Can you think of some way he could thank us? 1988 01:34:59,393 --> 01:35:03,030 How would you feel about going back to America with us? 1989 01:35:03,431 --> 01:35:05,466 - [Richard] Coming home with us? 1990 01:35:05,499 --> 01:35:06,901 Yeah? 1991 01:35:17,011 --> 01:35:20,347 I think we're gonna need to buy a house. 1992 01:35:27,521 --> 01:35:32,526 (oldies swing music) 1993 01:36:28,983 --> 01:36:33,988 (calm music) 1994 01:37:08,222 --> 01:37:11,225 (mysterious music) 136012