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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:35,785 --> 00:00:37,620 Good morning. 2 00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:39,789 To what do I owe the pleasure of a greeting at the door? 3 00:00:39,831 --> 00:00:41,082 Well, I just wanted to be the first one 4 00:00:41,124 --> 00:00:42,792 to congratulate you on receiving 5 00:00:42,834 --> 00:00:44,461 the Courage in Comedy Award. 6 00:00:44,502 --> 00:00:45,837 Oh. 7 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:47,020 I haven't heard of that one, but that's nice. 8 00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:48,047 There'll be an event where 9 00:00:48,089 --> 00:00:49,466 you'll be presented the award, 10 00:00:49,549 --> 00:00:51,634 which is great for, you know, visibility. 11 00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:54,137 Network is sponsoring it, so we'll all be there. 12 00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:55,680 Oh, I see. 13 00:00:55,764 --> 00:00:57,932 So the network is buying publicity for the show 14 00:00:57,974 --> 00:00:59,392 is what you're actually saying? 15 00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:00,643 A shot in the arm couldn't hurt. 16 00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:02,145 Oh, God. 17 00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:03,646 Please give me some news I can feel good about. 18 00:01:03,688 --> 00:01:05,815 Unfortunately, that was the good news. 19 00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:07,233 The bad news is Cher is 20 00:01:07,317 --> 00:01:08,651 dropping out as a guest tomorrow. 21 00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:10,570 What? Why? 22 00:01:10,653 --> 00:01:11,738 She, quote, 23 00:01:11,821 --> 00:01:13,656 "Doesn't want to do it." 24 00:01:13,698 --> 00:01:15,825 - God. - Don't worry. 25 00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:17,160 Talent is scrambling. 26 00:01:17,243 --> 00:01:19,037 I will check in with them right now. 27 00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:22,289 Fucking Cher. 28 00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:26,669 What's going on? 29 00:01:26,711 --> 00:01:27,962 Oh. 30 00:01:28,004 --> 00:01:29,506 Um, I decided we should celebrate 31 00:01:29,589 --> 00:01:31,508 all this month's birthdays in the office at once. 32 00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:33,176 Some people don't like attention 33 00:01:33,218 --> 00:01:35,095 and I don't want to spring non-consensual cupcakes 34 00:01:35,178 --> 00:01:38,098 on anyone because, obviously, that can trigger people. 35 00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:41,267 Oh, oh! 36 00:01:42,602 --> 00:01:43,602 Come on. 37 00:01:43,603 --> 00:01:44,603 Don't do it again. 38 00:01:52,570 --> 00:01:54,697 This is an office, not a bowling alley. 39 00:01:54,739 --> 00:01:56,032 I'm just trying to be a good boss. 40 00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:57,408 You don't have to do all this. 41 00:01:57,491 --> 00:01:58,868 It's enough you pay for their lunches. 42 00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:00,161 I don't pay for them. 43 00:02:00,203 --> 00:02:01,788 I subsidize the writers' lunches 44 00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:04,207 because the studio caps orders at $9, 45 00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:07,043 which in your world is the equivalent of one Pellegrino. 46 00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:08,794 When are you going to learn you can't be their friend? 47 00:02:08,877 --> 00:02:09,963 Why, because I'm their boss? 48 00:02:10,045 --> 00:02:11,464 No, because you're annoying. 49 00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:15,718 Oh. 50 00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:17,387 I talked to talent. 51 00:02:17,428 --> 00:02:19,722 The new DC show "Wolf Girl" got pushed up, 52 00:02:19,764 --> 00:02:22,225 so we were able to book the lead, Ruby Rojas. 53 00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:24,227 Oh. 54 00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:25,562 Ruby Rojas? 55 00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:26,855 That's what I said, yeah. 56 00:02:26,896 --> 00:02:28,731 Great job, Rob. 57 00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:30,733 Great get. Great get. 58 00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:32,067 Great get. 59 00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:33,695 A-am I missing something? 60 00:02:33,736 --> 00:02:35,488 Yes. Ruby and I dated. 61 00:02:35,572 --> 00:02:37,574 I almost married her, in my opinion. 62 00:02:37,656 --> 00:02:39,826 You're going to have to sign a conflict of interest form. 63 00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:45,582 Hello. 64 00:02:45,623 --> 00:02:47,041 - Hi. - Yeah. 65 00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:48,376 Just checking to see if you need anything else 66 00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:50,587 from me before I leave for Wyoming. 67 00:02:50,628 --> 00:02:52,714 I finally found a supplier that will provide 68 00:02:52,755 --> 00:02:54,549 the right amount of bear urine that we need 69 00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:55,966 to keep away the coyotes. 70 00:02:56,050 --> 00:02:59,804 It's a proprietary blend of black and grizzly. 71 00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:01,264 Oh, wonderful. 72 00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:02,724 Yeah. I'm really excited about it. 73 00:03:02,765 --> 00:03:04,559 And where are we on the candle rotation? 74 00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:07,604 Cardamom, cardamom, eucalyptus, sandalwood, 75 00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:09,689 cardamom, and then I'm back on Monday. 76 00:03:09,772 --> 00:03:10,907 Oh, you're gone that long? 77 00:03:11,041 --> 00:03:12,584 Well, the TSA will not give me the exception 78 00:03:12,625 --> 00:03:14,461 to fly with the amount of bear piss that we need, 79 00:03:14,502 --> 00:03:16,755 so I'm renting a U-Haul and driving. 80 00:03:16,796 --> 00:03:17,796 Well, have a good trip. 81 00:03:17,797 --> 00:03:19,132 Thank you. See ya. 82 00:03:22,927 --> 00:03:24,304 - Hey! - There you are. 83 00:03:24,345 --> 00:03:25,804 Yeah, so sorry about the phone tag. 84 00:03:25,889 --> 00:03:27,515 Service is bad in here. 85 00:03:27,599 --> 00:03:29,517 Just finishing up a quick set. 86 00:03:31,978 --> 00:03:32,979 Should you be doing that? 87 00:03:33,063 --> 00:03:34,147 I have to. 88 00:03:34,189 --> 00:03:35,440 Fricking ten days overdue 89 00:03:35,482 --> 00:03:36,983 and this is supposed to trigger labor. 90 00:03:38,359 --> 00:03:40,320 If not, though, we induce on Friday. 91 00:03:40,403 --> 00:03:42,447 Which is kind of why I wanted to talk. 92 00:03:42,489 --> 00:03:44,324 I really feel like I need somebody here 93 00:03:44,365 --> 00:03:45,909 that I trust, you know? 94 00:03:45,992 --> 00:03:47,952 Oh, honey, I would love to come, 95 00:03:47,994 --> 00:03:49,828 but it really would be risky 96 00:03:49,871 --> 00:03:51,873 for me to bring in a guest host this early. 97 00:03:51,956 --> 00:03:54,000 Oh, no, not you. Josefina. 98 00:03:54,042 --> 00:03:55,502 Oh. 99 00:03:55,542 --> 00:03:57,212 Well, I know how busy the show is. 100 00:03:57,295 --> 00:03:58,713 You know, and you can meet him any time. 101 00:03:58,797 --> 00:04:00,131 Plus, I really don't need 102 00:04:00,173 --> 00:04:01,674 you seeing what I'm eating these days. 103 00:04:03,301 --> 00:04:05,303 Well, Josefina would be happy to, I'm sure. 104 00:04:05,345 --> 00:04:06,471 She loves babies. 105 00:04:07,847 --> 00:04:08,847 Thank God. 106 00:04:08,848 --> 00:04:10,433 One word of advice. 107 00:04:10,517 --> 00:04:11,768 Do not let the nurses talk you into breastfeeding. 108 00:04:11,851 --> 00:04:12,852 There's absolutely nothing wrong 109 00:04:12,936 --> 00:04:14,187 with giving them baby formula. 110 00:04:14,270 --> 00:04:15,605 As long as it's from Europe. 111 00:04:15,688 --> 00:04:17,148 No, I can't breastfeed. 112 00:04:17,189 --> 00:04:19,275 I don't want to take the rings out. 113 00:04:20,860 --> 00:04:21,861 - Oh! - Did... 114 00:04:21,945 --> 00:04:23,071 did your water just break? 115 00:04:23,154 --> 00:04:26,407 Huh? 116 00:04:26,491 --> 00:04:27,826 No, I think that's just piss. 117 00:04:27,867 --> 00:04:28,867 Oh. 118 00:04:44,551 --> 00:04:46,553 Excuse me! Hi. 119 00:04:46,594 --> 00:04:48,221 Do you have time for a quick makeover? 120 00:04:48,263 --> 00:04:49,806 Sorry, we're not even open yet. 121 00:04:49,889 --> 00:04:51,474 Please. 122 00:04:51,557 --> 00:04:53,893 I'm not just any customer, I'm an Americana resident. 123 00:04:53,977 --> 00:04:55,061 OK? 124 00:04:55,145 --> 00:04:56,437 I'm seeing my ex today 125 00:04:56,521 --> 00:04:59,023 and she's, like, a 9.5 without makeup. 126 00:04:59,065 --> 00:05:00,358 Damn. 127 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:01,901 OK, well, let's do it. 128 00:05:01,943 --> 00:05:03,194 You are getting a beauty mark, though. 129 00:05:03,236 --> 00:05:06,739 And I get to decide where and how big. 130 00:05:06,823 --> 00:05:07,991 All right. 131 00:05:08,074 --> 00:05:09,742 Come on. It'll be great. 132 00:05:12,745 --> 00:05:15,248 Hello, hello. 133 00:05:15,331 --> 00:05:16,331 Hey. 134 00:05:16,332 --> 00:05:17,750 Where's my hug? 135 00:05:17,834 --> 00:05:18,918 How are you? 136 00:05:19,002 --> 00:05:20,587 Oh, I'm chilling. 137 00:05:20,670 --> 00:05:21,754 - How are you? - Good. 138 00:05:21,838 --> 00:05:23,423 You look great. 139 00:05:23,506 --> 00:05:25,925 Um, I don't think I remember that beauty mark. 140 00:05:25,967 --> 00:05:27,427 Oh, yeah. Well, you know me. 141 00:05:27,468 --> 00:05:28,595 Woman of mystery. 142 00:05:28,636 --> 00:05:29,929 Oh, shit! 143 00:05:29,971 --> 00:05:31,389 - Oh, my God! Are you OK? - I'm good, yeah. 144 00:05:31,431 --> 00:05:32,974 That's chill. This happens all the time. 145 00:05:33,057 --> 00:05:34,142 - You sure? - No worries. 146 00:05:34,225 --> 00:05:35,560 - OK. - Listen, um... 147 00:05:35,602 --> 00:05:37,729 I know you and Deborah 148 00:05:37,770 --> 00:05:40,231 don't have great feelings. 149 00:05:40,273 --> 00:05:41,566 Probably mutually. 150 00:05:41,608 --> 00:05:43,109 Your way or your direction, more so, 151 00:05:43,151 --> 00:05:44,444 but, um, 152 00:05:44,527 --> 00:05:46,112 I just wanted to say I hope... 153 00:05:46,154 --> 00:05:50,366 hope you won't let our stuff affect the interview. 154 00:05:50,450 --> 00:05:52,744 Yeah, um, I'm a professional. 155 00:05:52,785 --> 00:05:53,786 I-I think I got it. 156 00:05:53,870 --> 00:05:55,455 Right, right. 157 00:05:55,538 --> 00:05:56,538 Cool. 158 00:05:56,581 --> 00:05:58,416 By the way, congrats. 159 00:05:58,458 --> 00:06:01,794 Looks like it was all worth it after all. 160 00:06:01,836 --> 00:06:02,921 Yeah. 161 00:06:04,923 --> 00:06:07,300 You know, um, I ran into Fabriziana. 162 00:06:07,342 --> 00:06:09,010 She said you were seeing someone. 163 00:06:09,093 --> 00:06:10,929 I'm really happy for you, by the way. 164 00:06:10,970 --> 00:06:13,890 Thank you. Yes, um, I am. 165 00:06:13,973 --> 00:06:16,434 I'm sorry if it was weird hearing it from her. 166 00:06:16,476 --> 00:06:17,644 No, no. 167 00:06:17,685 --> 00:06:19,312 And I'm sorry if it's weird 168 00:06:19,354 --> 00:06:21,481 for you to hear that I'm also seeing someone. 169 00:06:21,564 --> 00:06:22,564 Great. 170 00:06:22,565 --> 00:06:23,565 As well as another person. 171 00:06:23,566 --> 00:06:24,817 - Two people. - Oh. 172 00:06:24,859 --> 00:06:26,653 I have a boyfriend and a girlfriend. 173 00:06:26,736 --> 00:06:28,154 Love. 174 00:06:28,196 --> 00:06:31,366 Being supah bi. 175 00:06:31,449 --> 00:06:33,868 Amazing. 176 00:06:33,952 --> 00:06:34,953 Ch-ch-ch... 177 00:06:34,994 --> 00:06:36,162 anyway, um, great to see you. 178 00:06:36,204 --> 00:06:37,205 I should probably head... 179 00:06:37,288 --> 00:06:39,207 head on down to, uh, 180 00:06:39,290 --> 00:06:40,792 the trenches. 181 00:06:40,833 --> 00:06:42,335 Because we're, uh... 182 00:06:42,377 --> 00:06:43,628 we're doing a desk bit tonight that I pitched. 183 00:06:43,670 --> 00:06:44,921 It's super funny. I got to go finalize it. 184 00:06:45,004 --> 00:06:46,004 Can't wait to see it. 185 00:06:46,005 --> 00:06:47,298 - Super funny. - I bet. 186 00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:48,424 Have fun out there. 187 00:06:50,051 --> 00:06:51,511 Listen, hey... 188 00:06:51,594 --> 00:06:53,346 razzle-dazzle 'em. 189 00:06:55,848 --> 00:06:58,851 Hey, we really can't have these falling off the wall, OK? 190 00:06:58,893 --> 00:06:59,893 Thank you. 191 00:07:05,775 --> 00:07:07,151 Hey. 192 00:07:07,193 --> 00:07:08,653 Here are the jokes for the apologies bit. 193 00:07:18,204 --> 00:07:20,456 I like these three. The rest we need to beat. 194 00:07:20,540 --> 00:07:21,541 You only liked three? 195 00:07:21,624 --> 00:07:24,002 Yes. Where are the alts? 196 00:07:24,043 --> 00:07:26,004 These are the alts. There are 20 jokes here. 197 00:07:26,045 --> 00:07:27,630 Well, then we need more. 198 00:07:27,714 --> 00:07:29,424 We shoot in an hour. 199 00:07:29,507 --> 00:07:32,009 Well, then you have half an hour to write me better jokes. 200 00:07:36,556 --> 00:07:37,724 OK! 201 00:07:37,807 --> 00:07:39,267 All hands on deck. 202 00:07:39,350 --> 00:07:40,852 We need more jokes for the apologies desk bit. 203 00:07:40,893 --> 00:07:42,562 I'll type fast. Go! 204 00:07:42,603 --> 00:07:44,355 - Uh, um... - Uh... 205 00:07:44,397 --> 00:07:47,150 Uh, Deborah apologizes to the floor, um, 206 00:07:47,233 --> 00:07:48,526 for always stepping on it in high heels. 207 00:07:48,568 --> 00:07:49,902 OK. What else? 208 00:07:49,944 --> 00:07:51,404 Deborah apologizes, uh, to science, 209 00:07:51,487 --> 00:07:53,364 because she could have cured cancer or something 210 00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:54,991 because she's so smart, 211 00:07:55,074 --> 00:07:56,533 but that's not where her heart was at in undergrad. 212 00:07:56,576 --> 00:07:58,369 She, like, wanted to do stuff. 213 00:07:58,411 --> 00:07:59,746 - More fun stuff. - OK. What else? 214 00:07:59,829 --> 00:08:01,205 Deborah is sorry to the grocery stores 215 00:08:01,247 --> 00:08:02,749 that she doesn't buy anything there. 216 00:08:02,790 --> 00:08:04,042 Because she doesn't eat. 217 00:08:04,083 --> 00:08:05,376 Because she's really weird about food. 218 00:08:05,418 --> 00:08:06,544 No, I get it. It's just not funny. 219 00:08:06,586 --> 00:08:07,754 What else? 220 00:08:09,005 --> 00:08:10,965 Come on, come on. 221 00:08:11,049 --> 00:08:12,592 Great. 222 00:08:38,784 --> 00:08:40,952 Here. Five pages of jokes. 223 00:08:41,037 --> 00:08:43,581 Five pages? 224 00:08:43,623 --> 00:08:45,166 There's too many alts. 225 00:08:45,249 --> 00:08:46,793 There was just not enough. Now there's too many? 226 00:08:46,834 --> 00:08:48,961 Well, I don't have time to go through all of them. 227 00:08:49,003 --> 00:08:50,171 Can you narrow it down? 228 00:08:50,254 --> 00:08:51,672 Well, I think they're all good. 229 00:08:51,756 --> 00:08:53,841 Well, which ones are the strongest? 230 00:08:53,925 --> 00:08:55,760 Let me see. 231 00:08:55,802 --> 00:08:57,303 Maybe... 232 00:08:57,345 --> 00:08:59,430 You know, it's quite literally your job 233 00:08:59,472 --> 00:09:00,640 to pick the best ones. 234 00:09:00,723 --> 00:09:01,974 I know. I just don't know 235 00:09:02,058 --> 00:09:03,142 what the woman who likes wine o'clock 236 00:09:03,184 --> 00:09:04,394 thinks are the best ones. 237 00:09:04,477 --> 00:09:05,478 What is it exactly you do here? 238 00:09:05,561 --> 00:09:06,938 Just print jokes out? 239 00:09:06,979 --> 00:09:08,940 You're a glorified Kinko's employee now? 240 00:09:08,981 --> 00:09:11,401 Well, actually, there is no more Kinko's. 241 00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:13,319 I mean, there's FedEx Kinko's, which is pretty sad. 242 00:09:13,361 --> 00:09:14,695 Oh, my God, Stacey! 243 00:09:17,323 --> 00:09:19,242 OK, this one. 244 00:09:19,325 --> 00:09:21,661 Does that put us in an anti-Irish barrel? 245 00:09:21,702 --> 00:09:22,954 Fuck. 246 00:09:22,995 --> 00:09:24,622 Do people know that Garfield was also 247 00:09:24,664 --> 00:09:26,082 - the name of a president? - OK, forget it, forget it. 248 00:09:26,165 --> 00:09:27,417 We're... we're cutting the bit. 249 00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:28,918 - No! - Yes. 250 00:09:29,001 --> 00:09:30,336 - We have to fill the minutes. - I know, I know. 251 00:09:30,420 --> 00:09:31,520 Just go tell Ruby we're cutting the desk bit. 252 00:09:31,587 --> 00:09:32,587 We'll need her for another act. 253 00:09:32,588 --> 00:09:33,631 Come on! 254 00:09:33,673 --> 00:09:35,341 No, no. We are done here. 255 00:09:38,636 --> 00:09:40,680 Deborah, quick. What's your lip combo? 256 00:09:43,765 --> 00:09:44,809 Iconic. 257 00:09:44,851 --> 00:09:45,852 Hey, you. 258 00:09:45,893 --> 00:09:46,893 Do you have the time? 259 00:09:46,894 --> 00:09:48,354 Yeah, it's midnight. 260 00:09:48,438 --> 00:09:49,897 Are you going to turn into a pumpkin? 261 00:09:49,981 --> 00:09:52,400 You wish. Try wolf! 262 00:09:52,483 --> 00:09:54,193 Oh, no! 263 00:09:56,571 --> 00:09:58,156 Whoa! 264 00:09:58,197 --> 00:09:59,699 Ferocious. 265 00:09:59,740 --> 00:10:02,535 Reminds me of myself when Saks won't let me make a return. 266 00:10:04,370 --> 00:10:06,372 But I want to know where you got that fabulous jacket. 267 00:10:06,456 --> 00:10:07,957 Oh, that one. 268 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:09,667 Um, yeah, that may have disappeared from set. 269 00:10:09,709 --> 00:10:11,627 Oh, naughty, naughty Wolf Girl. 270 00:10:11,711 --> 00:10:13,504 I have a bit of a problem, Deborah. 271 00:10:13,546 --> 00:10:14,839 I'm a bit of a klepto. 272 00:10:14,881 --> 00:10:17,300 I took the jacket, the boots, the ring. 273 00:10:17,383 --> 00:10:18,551 - I think I... - Oh. 274 00:10:18,593 --> 00:10:20,219 And the ring that you mentioned. 275 00:10:20,261 --> 00:10:22,847 Uh, I hear you might have a very funny story about that, 276 00:10:22,889 --> 00:10:25,349 possibly concerning an ex-girlfriend? 277 00:10:27,059 --> 00:10:30,521 I'm surprised you knew about that. 278 00:10:30,563 --> 00:10:32,148 I mean... 279 00:10:32,231 --> 00:10:33,649 it is a funny story. 280 00:10:33,733 --> 00:10:35,276 OK. Who wants to hear it? 281 00:10:37,111 --> 00:10:38,404 OK. 282 00:10:38,488 --> 00:10:39,947 So before we were shooting "Wolf Girl," 283 00:10:40,031 --> 00:10:41,240 I was living in LA. 284 00:10:41,282 --> 00:10:43,534 I was prepping, training 24/7, 285 00:10:43,576 --> 00:10:45,244 and they sent me home with the ring 286 00:10:45,286 --> 00:10:46,871 to practice wielding the flail. 287 00:10:46,913 --> 00:10:49,540 Oh, yeah. Wielding the flail is a lost art. 288 00:10:49,582 --> 00:10:51,417 Truly. 289 00:10:51,501 --> 00:10:54,420 Anyway, my girlfriend at the time, she was home, 290 00:10:54,504 --> 00:10:56,714 and, um, she found the ring. 291 00:10:56,756 --> 00:10:59,550 And you can guess what she assumed. 292 00:10:59,592 --> 00:11:00,760 Uh-oh. 293 00:11:00,843 --> 00:11:02,887 Here come the brides. 294 00:11:02,929 --> 00:11:05,932 Actually, she thought she'd beat me to the punch 295 00:11:05,973 --> 00:11:09,602 and she proposed to me first with Wolf Girl's ring. 296 00:11:09,644 --> 00:11:10,853 Oh, how embarrassing. Oh, God. 297 00:11:10,937 --> 00:11:12,605 - No, no, no, no, no. - Oh, yeah. 298 00:11:12,688 --> 00:11:14,899 Um, she got down on one knee. 299 00:11:14,941 --> 00:11:16,275 - No. - Uh-huh. 300 00:11:16,359 --> 00:11:18,277 It was very awkward. 301 00:11:18,319 --> 00:11:21,030 Oh, and with a bezel marquise cut, too. 302 00:11:21,113 --> 00:11:22,281 No wonder she's an ex. 303 00:11:28,329 --> 00:11:32,083 Up next, Dance Mom! 304 00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:43,135 Ava. I'm so sorry. 305 00:11:43,219 --> 00:11:44,595 She totally caught me off guard. 306 00:11:44,637 --> 00:11:45,805 - I would have... - No, it was great. 307 00:11:45,846 --> 00:11:47,765 It was great TV. 308 00:11:47,807 --> 00:11:48,807 I'm sorry. 309 00:11:48,808 --> 00:11:51,769 It was hilarious. 310 00:11:51,811 --> 00:11:52,853 It's hilarious. 311 00:12:02,822 --> 00:12:04,865 Hi, Deborah. DJ's doing fine. 312 00:12:04,949 --> 00:12:06,450 She goes in at 11:00 a.m. tomorrow. 313 00:12:06,492 --> 00:12:07,868 We'll call you after. 314 00:12:07,952 --> 00:12:09,954 And don't forget to lock the doggy door 315 00:12:09,996 --> 00:12:11,831 at night because of the coyotes. 316 00:12:11,914 --> 00:12:13,749 OK, bye-bye. 317 00:12:13,833 --> 00:12:16,961 She thinks I don't know how to take care of you. 318 00:12:17,003 --> 00:12:19,505 But we're going to be just fine on our own, aren't we? 319 00:12:19,547 --> 00:12:21,173 Yeah. 320 00:12:21,215 --> 00:12:22,383 Yeah. 321 00:12:23,843 --> 00:12:26,470 Oh, Cara. Oh, did you just fart? 322 00:12:26,512 --> 00:12:27,763 Oh, honey. 323 00:12:27,847 --> 00:12:29,140 Ah, jeez. 324 00:12:36,689 --> 00:12:37,898 Jesus. 325 00:12:39,108 --> 00:12:41,694 Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. 326 00:12:41,736 --> 00:12:43,070 Did not mean to scare you. 327 00:12:43,154 --> 00:12:44,196 It's OK. 328 00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:45,280 We just... 329 00:12:45,323 --> 00:12:46,699 weren't expecting you tonight. 330 00:12:46,782 --> 00:12:49,368 No, I know, I'm sorry. I just... I had a hard day. 331 00:12:49,410 --> 00:12:51,871 I was hoping we could hang. 332 00:12:51,954 --> 00:12:54,665 I'm sorry, babe. 333 00:12:54,707 --> 00:12:55,833 Uh, whoa. 334 00:12:55,875 --> 00:12:57,710 Uh... what are you... 335 00:12:57,793 --> 00:12:59,045 Sorry. 336 00:12:59,128 --> 00:13:02,048 I was just trying to kiss you, I guess. 337 00:13:03,591 --> 00:13:08,220 I mean, do you want to talk about what happened today? 338 00:13:08,262 --> 00:13:09,555 Honestly, no. 339 00:13:09,597 --> 00:13:12,141 I was hoping we could, like, hook up. 340 00:13:13,726 --> 00:13:14,769 Oh. 341 00:13:16,729 --> 00:13:18,731 What? 342 00:13:18,773 --> 00:13:20,983 Um... 343 00:13:21,067 --> 00:13:23,861 Maybe you better take a seat. 344 00:13:23,903 --> 00:13:24,945 OK. 345 00:13:28,949 --> 00:13:30,743 What's up? 346 00:13:30,826 --> 00:13:36,499 It kind of feels like this is mostly about sex for you. 347 00:13:36,582 --> 00:13:38,334 Mm... 348 00:13:38,417 --> 00:13:39,919 yeah. 349 00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:42,129 Is that crazy? 350 00:13:42,213 --> 00:13:44,131 Uh, Em and I were talking 351 00:13:44,215 --> 00:13:46,092 and it seems like you don't want to 352 00:13:46,175 --> 00:13:49,136 get to know us past a certain level. 353 00:13:49,220 --> 00:13:52,306 And that you don't want us to get to know you. 354 00:13:52,390 --> 00:13:53,974 What do you mean? 355 00:13:54,058 --> 00:13:55,810 You guys know me. 356 00:13:55,893 --> 00:13:57,478 Ava Daniels. 357 00:13:57,561 --> 00:13:58,729 Waltham's own. 358 00:13:58,771 --> 00:13:59,980 Recently became allergic to shrimp. 359 00:14:00,064 --> 00:14:01,607 We were kind of looking for someone 360 00:14:01,691 --> 00:14:04,944 who would connect with us emotionally as well. 361 00:14:05,027 --> 00:14:06,987 Yeah. We're not just sex freaks. 362 00:14:07,071 --> 00:14:09,115 We did meet at a sex shop. 363 00:14:09,156 --> 00:14:11,492 Yeah, but you're not vulnerable with us. 364 00:14:11,575 --> 00:14:13,786 And we were hoping that that would eventually change, 365 00:14:13,828 --> 00:14:15,621 but it hasn't. 366 00:14:15,663 --> 00:14:18,916 And I don't want you to think we're diagnosing you, but... 367 00:14:18,958 --> 00:14:21,335 kind of seems like you're not over your last relationship. 368 00:14:24,296 --> 00:14:27,383 What do you mean? 369 00:14:27,466 --> 00:14:29,468 Well, I... 370 00:14:29,510 --> 00:14:30,886 think she really hurt you 371 00:14:30,970 --> 00:14:34,306 and you're afraid of getting hurt again. 372 00:14:36,517 --> 00:14:39,395 You guys don't know what you're talking about. 373 00:14:40,980 --> 00:14:41,981 Oh, OK. 374 00:14:42,064 --> 00:14:45,860 Um, maybe we should just... 375 00:14:45,943 --> 00:14:48,612 pump the brakes, hit pause on this. 376 00:14:50,823 --> 00:14:52,783 OK, like, all three of us? 377 00:14:52,825 --> 00:14:53,825 No. 378 00:14:53,826 --> 00:14:55,661 We opened the circle to you, 379 00:14:55,703 --> 00:14:59,957 and now we are asking you to leave the circle. 380 00:14:59,999 --> 00:15:03,461 You guys want to be monogamous now? 381 00:15:03,502 --> 00:15:04,879 No, we're dumping you, 382 00:15:04,962 --> 00:15:07,173 and you're making it really hard. 383 00:15:12,762 --> 00:15:14,722 Ava, wait. 384 00:15:18,392 --> 00:15:20,019 Can we get our key back? 385 00:15:24,023 --> 00:15:25,065 Yeah. 386 00:15:29,361 --> 00:15:30,488 I tossed you both. 387 00:15:30,529 --> 00:15:31,697 Can I have mine? 388 00:15:31,781 --> 00:15:33,324 Sorry, those... mine are on there. 389 00:15:33,365 --> 00:15:35,075 Yeah. 390 00:15:41,207 --> 00:15:43,209 I'm really proud of you for that. 391 00:15:43,250 --> 00:15:44,376 Good work. 392 00:15:44,460 --> 00:15:45,544 You drew a boundary. 393 00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:54,678 I'm so excited. 394 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:56,222 Yeah, OK. So what is this? 395 00:15:56,305 --> 00:15:57,765 Fritos is sponsoring the night, 396 00:15:57,848 --> 00:15:59,398 so you're going to pretend to catch a bag of Fritos 397 00:15:59,499 --> 00:16:01,227 from Mariska Hargitay. 398 00:16:01,268 --> 00:16:02,268 OK. 399 00:16:02,269 --> 00:16:03,312 OK, ready? 400 00:16:05,272 --> 00:16:07,066 Thanks, Mariska. 401 00:16:07,107 --> 00:16:09,735 Perfect. Now throw it. 402 00:16:09,777 --> 00:16:10,903 - Anywhere? - Yeah, yeah. 403 00:16:10,945 --> 00:16:12,029 Throw it that way. 404 00:16:12,071 --> 00:16:13,364 Yeah. 405 00:16:13,405 --> 00:16:14,907 Awesome. 406 00:16:14,949 --> 00:16:15,990 And LL Cool J is going to catch that from you. 407 00:16:15,991 --> 00:16:17,076 OK. 408 00:16:17,117 --> 00:16:18,536 Hey. 409 00:16:18,577 --> 00:16:20,079 Next time, you want to give me a heads up 410 00:16:20,162 --> 00:16:21,831 before you humiliate me on national television? 411 00:16:21,914 --> 00:16:23,749 Well, if you'd had the jokes ready for the desk bit, 412 00:16:23,833 --> 00:16:26,544 I wouldn't have had to extend Ruby's interview. 413 00:16:26,585 --> 00:16:28,087 It's not my fault your messy love life 414 00:16:28,128 --> 00:16:30,172 is funnier than the material you write. 415 00:16:30,256 --> 00:16:31,924 Fuck you. 416 00:16:37,096 --> 00:16:38,347 OK, and now we are going to 417 00:16:38,430 --> 00:16:40,432 wish Dakota Fanning a happy birthday. 418 00:16:40,474 --> 00:16:42,601 Ready? And go. 419 00:16:42,685 --> 00:16:44,103 Happy birthday, Dakota. 420 00:16:44,186 --> 00:16:45,563 - Fanning. - Fanning. 421 00:16:45,604 --> 00:16:48,440 "Happy birthday, Dakota Fanning." 422 00:16:48,482 --> 00:16:49,608 Please. 423 00:16:49,692 --> 00:16:51,151 Happy birthday, Dakota Fanning. 424 00:16:51,235 --> 00:16:53,279 She is going to love that. 425 00:16:54,822 --> 00:16:55,948 Hey. 426 00:16:55,990 --> 00:16:58,951 So Fallon did a "Freaky Friday" Supreme Court sketch last night. 427 00:16:58,993 --> 00:17:00,286 Oh, fuck, really? 428 00:17:00,327 --> 00:17:01,787 - Mm-hmm. - OK. 429 00:17:01,871 --> 00:17:03,455 Uh, I'll work through lunch with the writers. 430 00:17:03,497 --> 00:17:04,622 We'll figure something else out. 431 00:17:04,665 --> 00:17:05,665 Thank you. 432 00:17:05,666 --> 00:17:07,793 Uh, and the affiliate copy? 433 00:17:07,834 --> 00:17:09,794 Sorry, I... I forgot. 434 00:17:09,837 --> 00:17:11,630 I'll... I'll get it to you. 435 00:17:11,714 --> 00:17:14,507 And I got your email about an iPad giveaway? 436 00:17:14,591 --> 00:17:16,384 - I don't want a free iPad. - I was hacked. 437 00:17:16,385 --> 00:17:18,804 My mom wired them 2,300, so. 438 00:17:18,888 --> 00:17:20,179 OK. 439 00:17:21,307 --> 00:17:23,141 Sorry guys, we're going to have to work through lunch. 440 00:17:23,225 --> 00:17:24,602 There's just too much to do, and I... 441 00:17:24,642 --> 00:17:27,897 Hi! Sorry I'm late. 442 00:17:27,980 --> 00:17:29,231 Well, it's lunch. 443 00:17:29,315 --> 00:17:30,816 That's not late, that's missing the day. 444 00:17:30,858 --> 00:17:33,569 I was at the orthodontist. 445 00:17:33,652 --> 00:17:35,154 Tooth gem. 446 00:17:35,237 --> 00:17:37,239 You were at the orthodontist getting a tooth gem? 447 00:17:37,323 --> 00:17:38,616 Yeah. 448 00:17:38,657 --> 00:17:40,492 So it's not for a medical reason, then? 449 00:17:40,534 --> 00:17:42,912 Um, mental health. 450 00:17:42,995 --> 00:17:44,163 Smiling without a tooth gem was 451 00:17:44,204 --> 00:17:46,248 really affecting my self-esteem. 452 00:17:46,332 --> 00:17:48,334 OK, well, next time, can you just let me know 453 00:17:48,375 --> 00:17:49,919 if you're planning on missing half the day? 454 00:17:50,002 --> 00:17:51,086 I texted the chat. 455 00:17:51,170 --> 00:17:52,170 - Who? - What chat? 456 00:17:52,171 --> 00:17:53,339 I didn't get it. 457 00:17:57,301 --> 00:17:58,886 Oh, I get it. 458 00:17:58,969 --> 00:18:00,387 You guys have a group text without me? 459 00:18:00,471 --> 00:18:01,472 - No. - It's... 460 00:18:01,513 --> 00:18:02,513 - No. - No. 461 00:18:02,514 --> 00:18:03,891 Guys, just... just tell her. 462 00:18:03,974 --> 00:18:05,851 Directness is kindness. 463 00:18:05,935 --> 00:18:07,811 OK. 464 00:18:07,853 --> 00:18:09,355 Yes. 465 00:18:09,438 --> 00:18:12,066 But it's just to, like, talk about assignments 466 00:18:12,149 --> 00:18:13,692 so we don't bore you with questions. 467 00:18:13,734 --> 00:18:15,027 Or memes. 468 00:18:15,069 --> 00:18:18,030 Or, like, what movie we're going to see. 469 00:18:18,072 --> 00:18:20,032 OK. 470 00:18:20,115 --> 00:18:22,534 I've been on staff before. I know how it is. 471 00:18:22,618 --> 00:18:23,827 I'm the boss, so. 472 00:18:26,914 --> 00:18:29,875 Whoa, branzino? 473 00:18:29,959 --> 00:18:32,044 Who's Mrs. Table? 474 00:18:32,127 --> 00:18:33,837 Oh. 475 00:18:33,879 --> 00:18:37,549 Well, sometimes we just order extra food for the table. 476 00:18:37,591 --> 00:18:40,386 We... we call it Mrs. Table. 477 00:18:40,427 --> 00:18:45,224 You ordered a whole bone-in branzino for the table? 478 00:18:45,307 --> 00:18:46,850 Well, sometimes it's branzino. 479 00:18:46,892 --> 00:18:48,852 Sometimes it's fries. 480 00:18:48,894 --> 00:18:51,730 Sometimes it's lobster rolls. 481 00:18:51,772 --> 00:18:53,399 Lobster rolls? 482 00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:54,483 Yeah. 483 00:18:57,277 --> 00:19:00,739 I have been subsidizing lobster rolls? 484 00:19:00,823 --> 00:19:02,616 For Mrs. Table? 485 00:19:02,700 --> 00:19:04,618 A not-real person? 486 00:19:04,702 --> 00:19:09,415 A not-real person is getting $48 branzino? 487 00:19:09,456 --> 00:19:10,456 $72. 488 00:19:10,499 --> 00:19:12,251 This is so disrespectful! 489 00:19:12,334 --> 00:19:14,420 I am working so hard! 490 00:19:14,461 --> 00:19:17,756 I get here every morning at 5:30 on the dot. 491 00:19:17,798 --> 00:19:20,092 One time, I walked in on the janitor jerking off 492 00:19:20,134 --> 00:19:21,802 because he didn't think anyone else was here, 493 00:19:21,885 --> 00:19:23,470 and I didn't report it 494 00:19:23,554 --> 00:19:26,598 because he probably doesn't get paid a living wage! 495 00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:27,850 And by the way, 496 00:19:27,933 --> 00:19:29,393 branzino doesn't travel well. 497 00:19:29,435 --> 00:19:31,437 You should never order it to go! 498 00:19:34,273 --> 00:19:35,774 I quit! 499 00:19:39,194 --> 00:19:42,239 We shouldn't have told her about the text chain. 500 00:19:49,872 --> 00:19:50,956 No! 501 00:19:50,998 --> 00:19:52,875 Slow down! 502 00:19:52,958 --> 00:19:54,376 Slow down! No! 503 00:19:54,460 --> 00:19:55,544 Oh, my God! 504 00:19:55,627 --> 00:19:57,463 This bitch is crazy! 505 00:19:57,546 --> 00:19:58,589 Damn! 506 00:20:01,759 --> 00:20:05,103 I nominate Barry Keoghan to do the Chicken Dance Challenge 507 00:20:05,187 --> 00:20:06,472 to support arthritis. 508 00:20:06,513 --> 00:20:08,766 Arthritis research. We don't support arthritis. 509 00:20:08,807 --> 00:20:10,350 Hey, sorry to interrupt. 510 00:20:10,434 --> 00:20:12,436 Just flagging that Ava's been gone since lunch, 511 00:20:12,478 --> 00:20:13,645 and I have not been able to reach her. 512 00:20:13,729 --> 00:20:15,314 Did she have Chipotle? 513 00:20:15,355 --> 00:20:17,149 That usually takes up the next two to three hours. 514 00:20:17,232 --> 00:20:19,318 Apparently she had some kind of a meltdown. 515 00:20:19,401 --> 00:20:20,819 She told the writers she quit, 516 00:20:20,861 --> 00:20:21,945 and then according to security, 517 00:20:21,987 --> 00:20:23,280 she drove through the gate. 518 00:20:23,322 --> 00:20:24,823 Like, drove through it. 519 00:20:24,865 --> 00:20:25,865 Oh, God. 520 00:20:25,866 --> 00:20:27,576 Um, OK. 521 00:20:27,659 --> 00:20:30,120 Um, well, so what do we do? 522 00:20:30,162 --> 00:20:33,123 I mean, we do the show without her. 523 00:20:33,165 --> 00:20:34,666 Sure. 524 00:20:34,708 --> 00:20:36,126 But, you know, maybe we could delay the taping 525 00:20:36,168 --> 00:20:37,503 by 30 minutes or so in case she shows up. 526 00:20:37,586 --> 00:20:38,837 No, you've got the award thing right after. 527 00:20:38,921 --> 00:20:40,672 Oh, right. 528 00:20:40,714 --> 00:20:41,840 - OK. - Sorry. 529 00:20:41,924 --> 00:20:42,924 I just wanted you to know. 530 00:20:42,925 --> 00:20:44,593 Sure. Thanks. 531 00:20:44,676 --> 00:20:47,513 OK, next up, we have the Twist and Shout Challenge 532 00:20:47,596 --> 00:20:49,098 to help infants with scoliosis. 533 00:20:49,181 --> 00:20:50,182 Are you ready? 534 00:20:51,517 --> 00:20:53,018 I'm sorry to my personal assistants 535 00:20:53,060 --> 00:20:54,853 numbers three through seven. 536 00:20:54,895 --> 00:20:57,981 Just because you are gay does not make you detail-oriented. 537 00:20:58,023 --> 00:20:59,483 And I should have had more grace. 538 00:21:06,824 --> 00:21:11,161 And thank you to Al Gore and GloRilla. 539 00:21:11,203 --> 00:21:12,704 See you tomorrow night. 540 00:21:14,915 --> 00:21:16,375 Whoo! 541 00:21:18,293 --> 00:21:19,503 That was great. 542 00:21:19,545 --> 00:21:21,004 - We didn't need to push. - Yeah. 543 00:21:21,046 --> 00:21:22,381 I'm going to head to the edit. 544 00:21:22,422 --> 00:21:23,423 I'll see you at the awards ceremony. 545 00:21:23,507 --> 00:21:25,384 OK. 546 00:21:59,960 --> 00:22:00,960 Hey, Deborah. 547 00:22:00,961 --> 00:22:03,630 - Your car is waiting outside. - Thanks. OK. 548 00:22:22,274 --> 00:22:24,234 You got to leave that marriage, you know? 549 00:22:24,276 --> 00:22:26,236 Oh, there she is. 550 00:22:26,278 --> 00:22:27,905 The bravest woman in comedy. 551 00:22:27,946 --> 00:22:29,406 Oh, please. 552 00:22:29,448 --> 00:22:30,949 Any woman who goes on Bill Maher 553 00:22:30,991 --> 00:22:32,201 is the bravest woman in comedy. 554 00:22:32,284 --> 00:22:33,284 I hear you on that. 555 00:22:33,285 --> 00:22:34,285 Give me a little love. 556 00:22:34,286 --> 00:22:35,286 Hey, nice to see you. 557 00:22:35,287 --> 00:22:36,287 Nice to see you. 558 00:22:36,288 --> 00:22:37,873 Oh, God. 559 00:22:37,956 --> 00:22:39,416 Thank you for doing this ridiculous network stunt. 560 00:22:39,458 --> 00:22:40,709 Hey, come on now. 561 00:22:40,792 --> 00:22:41,793 Don't do that. 562 00:22:41,835 --> 00:22:43,086 It's a tough town. 563 00:22:43,128 --> 00:22:44,963 You got to celebrate every little win. 564 00:22:45,005 --> 00:22:46,798 It's a fake award, Ro. 565 00:22:46,882 --> 00:22:48,592 Yes. I have many of them at home. 566 00:22:49,635 --> 00:22:51,386 Remember, you were there 567 00:22:51,470 --> 00:22:53,138 when I got that Crystal Pepsi Award for... 568 00:22:53,180 --> 00:22:55,057 Clarity in Comedy. 569 00:22:56,475 --> 00:22:58,143 So tell me, how's the show going? 570 00:22:58,227 --> 00:23:01,980 You know, some days are good, and you know, some aren't. 571 00:23:02,022 --> 00:23:03,649 Yeah, I understand. 572 00:23:03,690 --> 00:23:05,859 Some days you want to pull your hair out. 573 00:23:05,943 --> 00:23:07,319 But other days, 574 00:23:07,402 --> 00:23:08,987 you're sitting there laughing your ass off 575 00:23:09,071 --> 00:23:11,198 with some of your favorite people in the whole world. 576 00:23:11,281 --> 00:23:13,158 You got to focus on that. 577 00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:16,161 Because to tell you the truth, that's what I miss the most. 578 00:23:17,913 --> 00:23:20,499 So, you do ayahuasca? 579 00:23:20,540 --> 00:23:21,541 What do you mean? 580 00:23:21,625 --> 00:23:23,126 I mean how did all this happen? 581 00:23:23,168 --> 00:23:24,836 Oh, well, that was just, you know, 582 00:23:24,878 --> 00:23:28,215 hard work, timing, and you know, a lot of luck. 583 00:23:28,298 --> 00:23:30,342 No, you got better. 584 00:23:30,384 --> 00:23:31,885 You don't just get better. 585 00:23:31,969 --> 00:23:33,553 Comedy is like sports. 586 00:23:33,637 --> 00:23:36,974 Nobody starts dunking at 60 years old. 587 00:23:37,015 --> 00:23:39,851 I guess I just found my voice. 588 00:23:39,935 --> 00:23:41,311 You know, we all evolve. 589 00:23:41,353 --> 00:23:43,021 I mean, you've evolved. 590 00:23:43,063 --> 00:23:44,940 Yeah, it only took me five kids, 591 00:23:45,023 --> 00:23:47,359 two nervous breakdowns, and a lot of Ozempic. 592 00:23:47,442 --> 00:23:49,027 But yes, I've evolved. 593 00:23:49,069 --> 00:23:51,196 And I'm glad I can be here for your fake award. 594 00:23:51,238 --> 00:23:54,491 - Now let's make it quick. - Oh, God, please. 595 00:23:54,533 --> 00:23:56,660 By the way, I can't stay for your speech. 596 00:23:56,702 --> 00:23:57,828 Don't be pissed. 597 00:24:00,038 --> 00:24:02,040 Without further ado, I'm honored to present 598 00:24:02,124 --> 00:24:03,834 the Courage in Comedy Award 599 00:24:03,875 --> 00:24:06,169 to a woman who never let fear stop her. 600 00:24:06,211 --> 00:24:08,005 What choice did she have, really? 601 00:24:08,046 --> 00:24:09,506 I mean, I've seen her house, 602 00:24:09,548 --> 00:24:10,882 and she has to pay for that mortgage. 603 00:24:10,924 --> 00:24:12,384 She's going to be working forever. 604 00:24:12,426 --> 00:24:14,052 And I, for one, hope she does. 605 00:24:14,094 --> 00:24:16,221 Please welcome the iconic Deborah Vance. 606 00:24:20,934 --> 00:24:21,977 Mm. 607 00:24:24,563 --> 00:24:27,065 Oh, Cara, baby. 608 00:24:27,107 --> 00:24:28,567 Hello, sweetie. 609 00:24:28,650 --> 00:24:30,235 Where's Barry, huh? 610 00:24:32,029 --> 00:24:33,488 Where's your brother? 611 00:24:35,449 --> 00:24:36,908 Barry? 612 00:24:38,076 --> 00:24:39,536 Barry. 613 00:24:39,578 --> 00:24:40,578 Where are you? 614 00:24:41,955 --> 00:24:42,998 Barry? 615 00:24:44,833 --> 00:24:46,168 Mama's home. 616 00:24:47,753 --> 00:24:49,004 Barry? 617 00:24:52,632 --> 00:24:53,675 Barry? 618 00:24:54,676 --> 00:24:56,094 Barry! 619 00:24:56,136 --> 00:24:57,136 Come on! Where are you? 620 00:24:57,179 --> 00:24:58,430 Mama's home. 621 00:24:58,513 --> 00:24:59,598 Where are you? 622 00:25:01,433 --> 00:25:02,434 Barry? 623 00:25:05,354 --> 00:25:06,354 Huh? 624 00:25:07,606 --> 00:25:08,982 Oh, my God, how did you get outside? 625 00:25:10,067 --> 00:25:11,067 Oh, no! 626 00:25:11,068 --> 00:25:12,069 Oh, God! 627 00:25:12,110 --> 00:25:13,487 No! Jesus! 628 00:25:17,074 --> 00:25:18,950 No! No! 629 00:25:23,705 --> 00:25:25,791 You're OK. You're OK. 630 00:25:28,251 --> 00:25:29,961 Oh, oh, are you OK? 631 00:25:30,003 --> 00:25:32,255 Are you OK, honey? Are you OK? 632 00:25:42,808 --> 00:25:44,601 I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry, baby. 633 00:25:44,643 --> 00:25:46,228 I'm sorry. 634 00:25:46,311 --> 00:25:48,730 I should have protected you. 635 00:25:48,814 --> 00:25:50,524 I should have protected you. 636 00:26:10,627 --> 00:26:12,003 Have you seen a lesbian ginger? 637 00:26:12,087 --> 00:26:14,047 - No, sorry. - Thanks for nothing. 638 00:26:14,131 --> 00:26:15,882 - God. - Hi. 639 00:26:15,966 --> 00:26:17,509 - Any luck? - No. 640 00:26:17,592 --> 00:26:19,344 We just checked her apartment. She's not there. 641 00:26:19,386 --> 00:26:20,804 I'm looking in Silver Lake. Call me if you find her. 642 00:26:20,846 --> 00:26:22,681 Kayla, come on. We're not getting Wetzel's. 643 00:26:22,764 --> 00:26:24,182 Jimmy, hate to say it, 644 00:26:24,224 --> 00:26:25,475 but statistically at this point, 645 00:26:25,517 --> 00:26:27,185 we're looking for a body. 646 00:26:27,269 --> 00:26:29,354 I don't understand. She just left? 647 00:26:29,396 --> 00:26:30,897 What even happened? 648 00:26:30,981 --> 00:26:32,732 Hello... Deborah? 649 00:26:32,816 --> 00:26:34,526 She hung up on me. Unbelievable. 650 00:27:00,218 --> 00:27:01,470 Oh, I'm sorry. 651 00:27:01,553 --> 00:27:03,013 I... I thought you were somebody else. 652 00:27:03,054 --> 00:27:04,723 I'm sorry. What... what is everybody lined up for? 653 00:27:04,764 --> 00:27:05,807 Oh, we're here for Girl Twirl, 654 00:27:05,891 --> 00:27:08,226 a night of queer line dancing. 655 00:27:08,268 --> 00:27:09,561 Perfect. 656 00:27:09,603 --> 00:27:13,231 Um, have you seen this woman? 657 00:27:13,273 --> 00:27:14,733 Uh... 658 00:27:14,774 --> 00:27:15,859 I don't know her. 659 00:27:15,901 --> 00:27:17,068 No? Anybody? 660 00:27:17,152 --> 00:27:19,905 I-I-I'm trying to find this girl. 661 00:27:19,946 --> 00:27:21,698 I'm trying to find this girl. 662 00:27:21,740 --> 00:27:23,074 Anybody? 663 00:27:23,158 --> 00:27:24,784 Do you have Find My iPhone enabled for her? 664 00:27:24,868 --> 00:27:26,203 Oh, I think I might, yeah. 665 00:27:26,244 --> 00:27:30,081 Can you... can you help me find my Find My? 666 00:27:30,165 --> 00:27:31,917 OK. 667 00:27:33,043 --> 00:27:36,213 - There she is. - Thank you. 668 00:27:36,254 --> 00:27:37,881 Thank you. 669 00:28:05,116 --> 00:28:06,785 Ava! 670 00:28:12,207 --> 00:28:13,291 Ava, no! 671 00:28:13,333 --> 00:28:14,626 No! God, no! 672 00:28:14,709 --> 00:28:16,628 Ava, you can't swim! 673 00:28:16,670 --> 00:28:18,004 Ava! 674 00:28:18,088 --> 00:28:19,088 No! 675 00:28:19,089 --> 00:28:20,632 No, no! 676 00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:37,357 What the fuck? 677 00:28:37,440 --> 00:28:38,692 What the hell are you doing? 678 00:28:38,775 --> 00:28:39,985 Uh, I-I'm sorry. 679 00:28:40,068 --> 00:28:41,820 I thought you were somebody else. 680 00:28:41,861 --> 00:28:42,861 What the hell are you doing? 681 00:28:42,862 --> 00:28:44,197 I'm night swimming. 682 00:28:44,281 --> 00:28:45,865 Oh. It's frigid! 683 00:28:45,949 --> 00:28:47,826 I'm training for the Polar Bear Plunge! 684 00:28:47,867 --> 00:28:48,867 Back off! 685 00:28:48,868 --> 00:28:51,830 OK. 686 00:29:09,014 --> 00:29:10,265 Deborah? 687 00:29:12,017 --> 00:29:13,977 What the hell are you doing? 688 00:29:14,019 --> 00:29:15,186 I... 689 00:29:15,270 --> 00:29:16,980 L-looking for you! 690 00:29:17,022 --> 00:29:19,482 I thought you were drowning yourself. 691 00:29:19,524 --> 00:29:21,359 Oh, my God, no. 692 00:29:21,443 --> 00:29:25,155 You... you drove through a gate and disappeared! 693 00:29:25,196 --> 00:29:26,406 Yeah. 694 00:29:26,489 --> 00:29:29,159 I'm not suicidal, I just want to die. 695 00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:30,410 What? 696 00:29:30,493 --> 00:29:32,871 I'm not actually gonna self-harm, OK? 697 00:29:32,912 --> 00:29:34,080 And if I was going to kill myself, 698 00:29:34,164 --> 00:29:35,373 I wouldn't do it Virginia Woolf style 699 00:29:35,457 --> 00:29:37,250 and walk into the freezing ocean. 700 00:29:37,334 --> 00:29:39,419 I'd do pills or wear a suicide vest on... 701 00:29:39,502 --> 00:29:41,171 "Watch What Happens Live." 702 00:29:42,464 --> 00:29:44,215 Shit, your lips are blue. Come on. 703 00:29:44,299 --> 00:29:45,842 Come on. 704 00:29:45,884 --> 00:29:48,303 Oh, my God. 705 00:29:53,308 --> 00:29:54,392 Oh, thank you. 706 00:29:54,434 --> 00:29:55,727 Here you go. 707 00:29:55,769 --> 00:29:56,895 Sorry, I know you guys are closing soon. 708 00:29:56,978 --> 00:29:58,229 No, it's on the house. 709 00:29:58,271 --> 00:29:59,522 - The hoodie, too. - Oh. 710 00:29:59,564 --> 00:30:00,815 I'm a big fan. 711 00:30:00,899 --> 00:30:02,400 Can I get a selfie? 712 00:30:04,611 --> 00:30:06,029 Not tonight, sweetie. 713 00:30:06,071 --> 00:30:07,405 OK. 714 00:30:07,489 --> 00:30:08,698 Respect. 715 00:30:13,411 --> 00:30:14,579 Mmm. 716 00:30:14,663 --> 00:30:15,914 Thanks for trying to save my life. 717 00:30:15,955 --> 00:30:17,540 Or whoever's life that was. 718 00:30:17,582 --> 00:30:19,542 I... 719 00:30:19,584 --> 00:30:22,545 appreciate you ruining your second-favorite fur as well. 720 00:30:24,422 --> 00:30:27,384 So why were you at the beach? 721 00:30:27,425 --> 00:30:28,425 I don't know. 722 00:30:28,426 --> 00:30:29,761 Um... 723 00:30:29,803 --> 00:30:32,097 I just got in my car and drove. 724 00:30:32,138 --> 00:30:34,432 I... I was just trying to get away from everything 725 00:30:34,474 --> 00:30:36,393 and I ended up at the beach. 726 00:30:36,434 --> 00:30:39,604 Which is, like, so embarrassing now that I say it out loud. 727 00:30:39,688 --> 00:30:42,816 It's so first thought after a breakdown. 728 00:30:42,899 --> 00:30:44,567 A little bit, yeah. 729 00:30:46,528 --> 00:30:48,780 And, um, I don't know if you heard, but I quit. 730 00:30:53,868 --> 00:30:55,078 You're the youngest head writer 731 00:30:55,120 --> 00:30:56,955 in the history of late night. 732 00:30:57,038 --> 00:30:59,624 You can't just quit. 733 00:30:59,708 --> 00:31:02,293 Well, I did. 734 00:31:02,377 --> 00:31:03,795 And I do. 735 00:31:03,878 --> 00:31:06,423 Listen, you're up and down in this career. 736 00:31:06,464 --> 00:31:08,717 Right now, you're up. 737 00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:09,968 But if you walk away, 738 00:31:10,051 --> 00:31:11,553 I'm telling you, one day you'll regret it. 739 00:31:11,636 --> 00:31:13,304 I won't. 740 00:31:13,388 --> 00:31:15,640 I suck shit at this fucking job. 741 00:31:15,682 --> 00:31:17,809 You were right. I never should have taken it. 742 00:31:17,892 --> 00:31:20,311 I wasn't the right person for it. 743 00:31:20,395 --> 00:31:21,730 The only reason you were failing 744 00:31:21,813 --> 00:31:23,189 is because I set you up to fail. 745 00:31:23,273 --> 00:31:24,441 I'm sorry. 746 00:31:26,317 --> 00:31:28,820 Give me another chance. 747 00:31:28,862 --> 00:31:30,321 Please. 748 00:31:30,405 --> 00:31:31,781 Even though I probably don't deserve one. 749 00:31:31,823 --> 00:31:34,659 You don't. 750 00:31:34,701 --> 00:31:36,953 I promise I'll make it up to you. 751 00:31:36,995 --> 00:31:39,122 Don't say that. 752 00:31:39,164 --> 00:31:41,499 Please don't say that. 753 00:31:41,583 --> 00:31:44,294 Because when you say that, I want to believe you. 754 00:31:46,296 --> 00:31:48,131 But you always let me down. 755 00:31:50,049 --> 00:31:51,509 I won't. 756 00:31:51,551 --> 00:31:52,594 This time. 757 00:31:54,512 --> 00:31:56,181 I can't trust you. 758 00:31:56,222 --> 00:31:58,433 I understand why you feel that way, 759 00:31:58,516 --> 00:32:00,059 but I'm begging you. 760 00:32:03,688 --> 00:32:05,607 What do I have to do, run back into that ocean? 761 00:32:05,690 --> 00:32:06,941 Because I will. 762 00:32:07,025 --> 00:32:09,527 Even if I did come back... 763 00:32:09,569 --> 00:32:12,197 I don't know if I can do the job. 764 00:32:12,238 --> 00:32:14,741 I don't even know your voice anymore. 765 00:32:17,410 --> 00:32:19,287 You are my voice. 766 00:32:27,086 --> 00:32:28,922 But I kind of hate you now. 767 00:32:32,091 --> 00:32:34,552 Uh, so? 768 00:32:34,636 --> 00:32:36,554 Lots of people do. 769 00:32:36,596 --> 00:32:38,890 You're part of a vibrant community. 770 00:32:46,105 --> 00:32:48,900 I can't write a show that appeals to millions of people. 771 00:32:48,942 --> 00:32:50,944 I-I was wrong to focus on them. 772 00:32:51,027 --> 00:32:52,403 We can't make it for them. 773 00:32:52,445 --> 00:32:53,822 We have to make it for each other. 774 00:32:55,198 --> 00:32:58,076 We'll probably never make it out of last place, so... 775 00:32:58,117 --> 00:33:00,578 we should at least try to have fun. 776 00:33:00,662 --> 00:33:01,704 Yeah. 777 00:33:03,998 --> 00:33:06,543 I haven't had fun in a long time. 778 00:33:08,294 --> 00:33:09,546 Me either. 779 00:33:18,680 --> 00:33:22,183 I guess I do have to make fun of Stacey to someone. 780 00:33:24,185 --> 00:33:26,271 Please. 781 00:33:26,312 --> 00:33:28,940 I mean, how do you tell an HR person they need to wear deodorant? 782 00:33:29,023 --> 00:33:30,775 - I mean, that is a trap. - Oh, I did. 783 00:33:30,817 --> 00:33:32,819 She said she doesn't sweat that much and doesn't need it. 784 00:33:32,902 --> 00:33:34,612 I was thinking, girl, you do. 785 00:33:36,239 --> 00:33:38,658 It's not up to you. It's up to us, actually. 786 00:33:46,416 --> 00:33:48,084 Hold on a second. 787 00:34:06,144 --> 00:34:08,479 What is that? 788 00:34:14,485 --> 00:34:16,237 Something we should have shared a long time ago. 789 00:34:25,705 --> 00:34:28,333 Yeah, it's been in my trunk for months. 790 00:34:28,415 --> 00:34:29,709 Yeah, it's awful. 791 00:34:29,792 --> 00:34:30,960 Yeah. 792 00:34:34,881 --> 00:34:37,634 I saw Stacey in the kitchen 793 00:34:37,674 --> 00:34:39,134 eating a banana with the peel on. 794 00:34:39,177 --> 00:34:40,803 - You did not! - Peel on. 795 00:34:40,845 --> 00:34:42,846 - That's a lie! - Like a corn on the cob. 796 00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:49,000 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -52817

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