Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:09,340
Can I borrow him?
2
00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:13,920
Oh, please. You can steal him. Really?
Just a minute.
3
00:00:14,220 --> 00:00:15,500
A minute? Make it 20.
4
00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:19,880
Whoops! No.
5
00:00:20,220 --> 00:00:22,240
Whoops, there's a rock there. I know.
6
00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:23,279
Who knew?
7
00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:24,900
I did, so I saw it.
8
00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:26,520
Okay,
9
00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:32,560
I get it. You don't want me. I get it.
Just go along with it, okay?
10
00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:35,060
Okay. You're drunk.
11
00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:36,880
About what?
12
00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:39,620
Meet me on the other side of that hill.
13
00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:41,440
Five minutes.
14
00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:45,320
I'll be waiting.
15
00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:48,339
Oh,
16
00:00:48,340 --> 00:01:01,740
God,
17
00:01:01,900 --> 00:01:02,879
are you kidding me?
18
00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:03,880
Here?
19
00:01:04,780 --> 00:01:05,780
That's what the man said.
20
00:01:10,780 --> 00:01:11,780
Where?
21
00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:14,620
I don't know. Just pick one.
22
00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:22,960
I'm so sorry. No worries.
23
00:01:23,220 --> 00:01:25,880
No, I wasn't looking where I was going.
Hang on one sec.
24
00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:33,900
That's fine. Thanks. All right. Good.
25
00:01:34,380 --> 00:01:35,380
Yeah, I'm sorry.
26
00:01:35,960 --> 00:01:36,960
I'm sorry.
27
00:01:38,580 --> 00:01:39,580
Yeah,
28
00:01:44,340 --> 00:01:46,460
I am.
29
00:01:47,300 --> 00:01:50,040
Just fucking stop and listen to me for
one second.
30
00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:53,480
God, you'd be such a chick most of the
time.
31
00:01:54,140 --> 00:01:56,720
Meaning? Meaning stop being such a
fucking bitch.
32
00:01:57,730 --> 00:02:00,950
Solid advice, thank you. Yeah, it is
solid advice, actually. And if you stop
33
00:02:00,950 --> 00:02:03,690
thinking with that little baby twat
between your legs, maybe you'd give that
34
00:02:03,690 --> 00:02:04,690
girl a chance.
35
00:02:05,330 --> 00:02:08,570
Don't stand so close to me, first of
all. Did you hear what I said? You're
36
00:02:08,570 --> 00:02:09,570
inches in front of my face.
37
00:02:10,030 --> 00:02:13,170
Moldy Mole likes you. What the fuck are
you going to do about it? You know what?
38
00:02:13,190 --> 00:02:14,230
Probably nothing, okay?
39
00:02:14,450 --> 00:02:15,710
I don't want to talk about this anymore.
40
00:02:15,930 --> 00:02:17,190
She has a mole.
41
00:02:17,990 --> 00:02:22,850
Yeah. A fat, juicy, potentially hairy
mole on her clitoris. You know what?
42
00:02:23,180 --> 00:02:25,760
Call me a caveman if that scares the
shit out of you. You are a caveman.
43
00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:26,760
not that shallow, John.
44
00:02:27,500 --> 00:02:30,480
You know, 300 -foot giants scare the
fuck out of me, but I would fucking
45
00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:34,420
up in that moist little fucking canoe
and do my fucking shit if it was as hot
46
00:02:34,420 --> 00:02:35,420
Cammy.
47
00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:36,939
You know?
48
00:02:36,940 --> 00:02:39,540
Yeah. So fucking take that with a grain
of salt.
49
00:02:45,760 --> 00:02:49,520
So while we await the final hammer to
fall from the sky, which will finally
50
00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:53,570
reflect how we've adapted in the face of
terror, In the nine months since we
51
00:02:53,570 --> 00:02:56,910
first heard of the asteroid, where there
was once riotous anger amongst the
52
00:02:56,910 --> 00:03:00,110
population, now remains a quiet state of
sporia.
53
00:03:00,690 --> 00:03:05,290
Well, it's been no bed of roses, but
it's a lot safer than it was for a while
54
00:03:05,290 --> 00:03:06,290
there.
55
00:03:06,870 --> 00:03:12,390
Disappointed. Man, I wanted my
apocalypse setting, you know? I wanted
56
00:03:12,390 --> 00:03:15,470
Max and have a badass car and save
chicks.
57
00:03:15,690 --> 00:03:19,230
And, you know, that lasted for like a
day, and that was it.
58
00:03:58,700 --> 00:04:03,500
How ironic would it be to have come so
far only to have the asteroid miss the
59
00:04:03,500 --> 00:04:04,500
planet?
60
00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:07,220
We could all be so lucky.
61
00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:12,060
But no, I will not be your saviour, and
I bring you no good fortune.
62
00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:17,519
The asteroid will not miss the planet,
and we will not all miraculously
63
00:04:18,779 --> 00:04:21,420
So, five days now.
64
00:04:21,959 --> 00:04:25,120
Five days to right your wrongs.
65
00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:27,360
Or five days to wrong your rights.
66
00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:33,360
So I ask you, which will you choose now
that judgment day is upon you?
67
00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:36,500
This one goes out to all you lovers out
there.
68
00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:39,560
All you lovers with no lovers to love.
69
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,960
And all you loners with only yourselves
to love.
70
00:04:44,280 --> 00:04:45,820
Do it, do it, fuck!
71
00:05:40,020 --> 00:05:41,400
Hey, haven't seen you in 20 years.
72
00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:43,400
Don't get fucked up by an asteroid.
73
00:05:54,100 --> 00:05:55,760
Hey, Jacqueline. How you doing?
74
00:05:56,520 --> 00:06:00,220
I've been looking for you since you
touched my dick.
75
00:06:01,020 --> 00:06:02,020
This is ridiculous.
76
00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:04,940
No, no, no, no, no.
77
00:06:31,310 --> 00:06:33,210
Nothing, I'm... No, go back to the gate!
78
00:06:33,410 --> 00:06:34,369
All right.
79
00:06:34,370 --> 00:06:35,450
Back to the gate!
80
00:06:35,730 --> 00:06:36,730
I'm not on it. Go!
81
00:06:39,470 --> 00:06:44,290
I'm sorry, I... I didn't mean to scare
you. I'm just looking for Jacqueline
82
00:06:44,290 --> 00:06:46,270
Byrne. Does she still live here?
83
00:06:49,950 --> 00:06:51,070
Who wants to know?
84
00:06:51,550 --> 00:06:53,670
Um, John, John Parsons.
85
00:06:55,270 --> 00:06:57,990
Uh... Hi.
86
00:06:59,650 --> 00:07:00,650
What's your deal?
87
00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:04,140
I'm sorry, did you not recognize me? No,
I don't.
88
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:10,260
Well, we used to live on the same
street. We were neighbors like 20 years
89
00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:13,500
20 years ago? I was five.
90
00:07:14,220 --> 00:07:15,880
I don't remember my eighth birthday.
91
00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:17,180
I don't remember you.
92
00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:19,920
Don't you remember, do you remember
Doheny?
93
00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:24,600
You know, someone already came and took
all of our money and stuff and
94
00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:25,600
everything.
95
00:07:25,900 --> 00:07:27,280
There's nothing here for you.
96
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:41,359
You know what?
97
00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:42,360
It's better this way.
98
00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:48,280
It's better this way because, you know,
I should probably die alone.
99
00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:52,880
And, you know what? I'll jerk off while
I'm dying. That's what I'll do. Fuck
100
00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:55,120
girls. I don't need a fucking girl.
101
00:07:55,580 --> 00:07:58,260
Hit by an asteroid will boot them all
over my head.
102
00:08:22,860 --> 00:08:23,860
Baby, can I have a smoke?
103
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:25,240
Fuck off. I smoke pole.
104
00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:30,020
Hey, we're all gonna die soon. Why don't
you go home and pray or something?
105
00:08:33,539 --> 00:08:34,539
Two, that's it?
106
00:08:35,159 --> 00:08:36,159
Is it wheat?
107
00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:37,320
No, it's white.
108
00:08:37,620 --> 00:08:38,620
Then you get two pills.
109
00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:40,880
Now beat it, rodent. You're lame.
110
00:08:52,300 --> 00:08:53,300
Fucking time, Hank.
111
00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:55,900
Ow, my fucking nuts.
112
00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:57,780
Sand everywhere. Stop, woman.
113
00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:02,300
So this is where families come to die,
or what? Oh, yeah. It's my church group.
114
00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:05,840
I didn't know you went to church. Who
else can make more money on a Sunday?
115
00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:08,820
Touché. Here's the shit you asked me
for. Oh, great.
116
00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:13,600
These are all girls' clothes?
117
00:09:14,020 --> 00:09:16,140
Oh, yeah. It's all leftover from Davey.
118
00:09:16,460 --> 00:09:17,980
I thought you guys weren't talking
anymore.
119
00:09:18,260 --> 00:09:19,840
Well, we're not. That's how come you get
all our clothes.
120
00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:22,960
Listen. I'm so fucking angry.
121
00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:26,020
Jesus. There were three of them. Three
little fucking cocksuckers. None of them
122
00:09:26,020 --> 00:09:28,120
even old enough to buy liquor. They took
everything.
123
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:31,400
Please don't tell me they took your
weed. Oh, yeah, of course. They took my
124
00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:33,000
goddamn clothes, books, shoes,
everything.
125
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:34,440
Fuck.
126
00:09:34,540 --> 00:09:35,540
Do you remember my friend Katie?
127
00:09:36,300 --> 00:09:38,920
Drunk Katie, remember her? Yes, yeah.
These little bastards roofied her one
128
00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:41,060
night. One day, they're eating
lunchables.
129
00:09:41,460 --> 00:09:44,600
Next thing you know, Drunk Katie is
getting teabagged on YouTube.
130
00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:46,080
That's marvelous.
131
00:09:47,300 --> 00:09:51,040
Plenty of riots out on the street today,
so if you're on the road... Ask
132
00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:53,340
yourself, why the hell am I driving?
133
00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:57,700
With gas prices at over $70 a gallon,
why are you driving?
134
00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:02,320
Coming straight to you from the promised
land, this is Sister Stuffy Boots, here
135
00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:04,840
to bring a little spunk to your last
days.
136
00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:38,230
To a quick death.
137
00:11:43,110 --> 00:11:48,210
Well... Why are you here?
138
00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:56,330
Uh... Okay, look, I... I'm not
139
00:11:56,330 --> 00:11:59,030
trying to be a dick.
140
00:11:59,630 --> 00:12:05,410
You know, I never tried to be a dick. I
am... I'm here to...
141
00:12:07,340 --> 00:12:08,340
See you.
142
00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:14,140
See someone you could fuck, you mean?
143
00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:21,560
Well... No, no, that's completely fair.
144
00:12:22,900 --> 00:12:23,940
I know.
145
00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:26,520
Well, then be serious with me for a
change.
146
00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:29,480
Okay.
147
00:12:31,340 --> 00:12:32,340
I'm sorry.
148
00:12:32,660 --> 00:12:33,660
Why?
149
00:12:35,020 --> 00:12:36,020
Because...
150
00:12:36,940 --> 00:12:39,740
You know why. Yeah, I want to hear you
say it.
151
00:12:40,540 --> 00:12:45,660
Come on, say it with me now. I don't
deserve you, Tammy, because I am an
152
00:12:45,660 --> 00:12:50,560
asshole. And I apologize for years of
leading you on.
153
00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:55,420
And I apologize for duct taping you to
the school seal that one time when we
154
00:12:55,420 --> 00:12:56,239
were 13.
155
00:12:56,240 --> 00:13:00,100
That was a double -dog. And, oh, I am
especially sorry for spreading nasty
156
00:13:00,100 --> 00:13:02,440
rumors about a certain part of your
body.
157
00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:07,440
came to see you.
158
00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:12,880
But after what? I mean, how many other
girls probably said no before it came to
159
00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:13,880
this?
160
00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:17,580
Oh, jeez.
161
00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:19,700
Oh, that's so depressing.
162
00:13:20,860 --> 00:13:23,980
I must write pretty goddamn low on your
list then.
163
00:13:25,060 --> 00:13:27,780
What an eye -opener. I really didn't see
that one coming.
164
00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:32,960
You know, I could have had any guy that
I wanted.
165
00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:36,760
except for you.
166
00:13:41,180 --> 00:13:42,860
Now why is that, I wonder?
167
00:13:45,620 --> 00:13:46,620
I don't know.
168
00:13:55,660 --> 00:13:57,040
So where do you want to do it?
169
00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:09,500
Do you have any fetish or bondage issues
you want to try out?
170
00:14:11,220 --> 00:14:12,220
No.
171
00:14:18,100 --> 00:14:19,100
No.
172
00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:33,440
Here's how it's going to go.
173
00:14:34,620 --> 00:14:35,620
I'm on top.
174
00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:37,600
You're the bitch on the bottom.
175
00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:41,240
You do what I say, when I say it.
176
00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:43,420
You don't come until I have.
177
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:49,440
And... I want you to call me Molly Mole
the entire time.
178
00:14:49,740 --> 00:14:50,740
I'm sorry.
179
00:14:51,180 --> 00:14:52,460
Call you Molly Mole?
180
00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:53,760
Yes, asshole.
181
00:14:54,140 --> 00:14:55,140
Molly Mole.
182
00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:59,980
You can't be kidding me. Do you really
think I have an inch -wide mole on my
183
00:14:59,980 --> 00:15:00,980
clitoris?
184
00:15:01,300 --> 00:15:03,060
I've never heard that before.
185
00:15:04,110 --> 00:15:06,710
Not everybody in high school is going to
believe that story, but you're the only
186
00:15:06,710 --> 00:15:09,850
one who still wouldn't fuck me this
entire time.
187
00:15:11,670 --> 00:15:13,030
I'm the only one?
188
00:15:20,010 --> 00:15:21,010
So,
189
00:15:22,610 --> 00:15:25,070
do you?
190
00:15:25,290 --> 00:15:26,290
Do I what?
191
00:15:26,570 --> 00:15:27,570
Have a mole?
192
00:15:28,550 --> 00:15:29,890
Yeah, you want to see it?
193
00:15:35,850 --> 00:15:39,330
Maybe I should just let you wonder.
194
00:15:40,370 --> 00:15:46,050
Yeah, I mean, a mole on my clit would be
pretty gross, I would imagine.
195
00:15:47,070 --> 00:15:50,970
Gross enough to make somebody not like
me for whatever reason.
196
00:15:51,430 --> 00:15:56,870
I mean, if it were a small mole on my
face, you could potentially get over
197
00:15:56,950 --> 00:16:03,430
but a big, hairy, juicy motherfucker
198
00:16:03,430 --> 00:16:04,970
on my clitoris.
199
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:20,340
I guess those kinds of people might have
a different view of me should they
200
00:16:20,340 --> 00:16:21,500
discover there's no mall.
201
00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:24,660
Unless that's why you really came over
here.
202
00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:27,040
To settle some bets.
203
00:16:30,100 --> 00:16:31,100
Which is it?
204
00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:58,100
Never thought that Molina... I'm never
gonna enjoy this little box room.
205
00:16:58,740 --> 00:16:59,880
I don't care.
206
00:17:05,260 --> 00:17:07,540
You wanna fit?
207
00:17:10,220 --> 00:17:16,319
Moment of truth.
208
00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:20,339
Afraid you're gonna find something under
there?
209
00:17:28,170 --> 00:17:29,310
I don't really think this is working.
210
00:17:31,150 --> 00:17:32,850
It probably will.
211
00:17:46,030 --> 00:17:47,130
All aboard.
212
00:17:49,210 --> 00:17:50,890
Everybody on the board train.
213
00:17:52,750 --> 00:17:53,810
Now boarding.
214
00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:48,500
I can do it.
215
00:18:57,640 --> 00:18:58,640
Fuck!
216
00:19:02,860 --> 00:19:03,860
Hi,
217
00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:09,680
John.
218
00:19:11,380 --> 00:19:12,380
What is this?
219
00:19:12,740 --> 00:19:15,280
I'm going to give you the opportunity of
a lifetime.
220
00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:16,880
Do you want one of those?
221
00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:25,040
Yes and no.
222
00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:27,100
And what if I say no?
223
00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:33,300
You don't have the guts to say no.
224
00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:35,900
You're quite sad.
225
00:19:37,140 --> 00:19:40,840
You don't even have the willpower to
make these last few days easier on
226
00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:41,840
yourself.
227
00:19:42,140 --> 00:19:43,140
Or others.
228
00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:44,920
But I do.
229
00:19:45,360 --> 00:19:46,940
And I can do it for you.
230
00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:52,160
So you can say no, but I don't think you
will.
231
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:56,400
Do I know you?
232
00:20:01,060 --> 00:20:02,060
Yes.
233
00:20:03,380 --> 00:20:04,380
Or no.
234
00:20:06,740 --> 00:20:09,080
Um, sure.
235
00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:10,840
Good.
236
00:20:11,700 --> 00:20:12,700
Now kiss me.
237
00:20:13,780 --> 00:20:14,780
Kiss what?
238
00:20:15,100 --> 00:20:17,880
I can't grant your wishes unless you
kiss me. It's all part of it.
239
00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:20,520
Hmm?
240
00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:26,390
All done.
241
00:20:31,830 --> 00:20:32,830
Is that it?
242
00:20:33,770 --> 00:20:35,530
I thought I was supposed to get wishes
or something.
243
00:20:46,010 --> 00:20:47,790
Oh, my God.
244
00:20:49,450 --> 00:20:50,570
What did you do to me?
245
00:20:51,050 --> 00:20:52,350
What does it feel like I did?
246
00:20:53,050 --> 00:20:54,290
Are you fucking with me?
247
00:21:01,470 --> 00:21:03,390
Please, get me to do something.
248
00:21:04,530 --> 00:21:05,530
All right.
249
00:21:06,070 --> 00:21:10,130
I wish that this whole world would burn
faster than it already is.
250
00:21:11,190 --> 00:21:13,610
But I can keep this body once.
251
00:21:14,730 --> 00:21:15,950
Think you can handle that?
252
00:21:16,610 --> 00:21:20,910
Actually, John, you already made your
wishes, don't you remember?
253
00:21:21,770 --> 00:21:26,030
And half the fun for you will be finding
out exactly what you wasted those
254
00:21:26,030 --> 00:21:27,030
wishes on.
255
00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:30,460
Look, most everything's been in motion
since yesterday. I just wanted to
256
00:21:30,460 --> 00:21:31,580
personally inform you.
257
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:37,160
Oh, do yourself a favor and find a nice
place to lie down.
258
00:21:39,460 --> 00:21:40,460
Wait.
259
00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:42,760
What are you doing?
260
00:21:43,220 --> 00:21:44,300
You'll be fine.
261
00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:49,300
And John?
262
00:21:53,140 --> 00:21:54,380
It's just my job.
263
00:21:54,780 --> 00:21:55,880
Nothing personal.
264
00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:00,320
Hey. Hey.
265
00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:01,600
Where have you been?
266
00:22:02,060 --> 00:22:04,000
Oh, pretty much here all night.
267
00:22:05,140 --> 00:22:10,840
Okay, I get it. You don't want me, okay?
I get it. Just don't run with it, okay?
268
00:22:11,620 --> 00:22:12,620
Okay.
269
00:22:54,670 --> 00:22:55,670
Hmm.
270
00:24:26,990 --> 00:24:28,170
I'm in Jacqueline's body.
271
00:24:34,670 --> 00:24:35,910
Holy shit!
272
00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:20,220
Yeah, I'm gonna kick my dick up in
there. Fuck off!
273
00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:21,720
Dick is back.
274
00:25:42,120 --> 00:25:45,380
It's a zinger out there today, y 'all,
with temperatures in the next few days
275
00:25:45,380 --> 00:25:49,340
soaring all the way up to the you -know
-what. So bust out that AC and start
276
00:25:49,340 --> 00:25:51,840
jacking up those liquor stores because
we're in for a hot one.
277
00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:55,600
Sit back, relax, and enjoy those hot
summer nights.
278
00:26:59,850 --> 00:27:02,690
fuck is that? Hey! Hey! Who the fuck is
that?
279
00:27:03,030 --> 00:27:04,030
Oh my god!
280
00:27:04,190 --> 00:27:05,530
Who are you?
281
00:27:07,710 --> 00:27:10,510
Oh my god, you look like me. You look
like me!
282
00:27:14,230 --> 00:27:15,350
What are you gonna do to me?
283
00:27:19,930 --> 00:27:21,950
Look just like me.
284
00:27:44,660 --> 00:27:45,519
It's okay.
285
00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:46,860
It's okay. Just calm down.
286
00:27:47,060 --> 00:27:50,880
What the fuck is that? Calm down. It is
not that bad. Not that bad? I have a
287
00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:52,920
dick. We will figure something out.
288
00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:53,839
Oh, my God.
289
00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:55,240
I have hair in my tits.
290
00:27:55,660 --> 00:27:59,200
I don't even have tits. It will be fine.
It's not going to be fine. I'm picking
291
00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:01,600
a fucking circus in my pants. Bitch,
kill!
292
00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:03,500
Why do I have a fucking penis?
293
00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:06,880
Fucking bitches.
294
00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:10,320
Oh, my God, Hank, you're so fucking
annoying. Why are we here? Why are we
295
00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:12,580
Why are we here? Why are we here? Why
are we here?
296
00:28:12,910 --> 00:28:13,950
Oh, you're such a twirl!
297
00:28:14,370 --> 00:28:15,370
Listen.
298
00:28:15,710 --> 00:28:16,669
I'm walking along.
299
00:28:16,670 --> 00:28:18,710
Three o 'clock in the morning. All of a
sudden, I'm in the middle of nowhere
300
00:28:18,710 --> 00:28:19,529
from the sky.
301
00:28:19,530 --> 00:28:20,930
This falls right in front of my face.
302
00:28:21,150 --> 00:28:22,150
Maybe it was an asteroid.
303
00:28:22,750 --> 00:28:24,310
You know what? Why don't you get fucking
serious, okay?
304
00:28:24,790 --> 00:28:26,430
Five minutes later, I'm walking along.
305
00:28:26,950 --> 00:28:27,729
Second one.
306
00:28:27,730 --> 00:28:29,490
Where's this guy right in front of my
face? Does this fucking story have a
307
00:28:29,490 --> 00:28:31,790
plausible ending? Yes, I'm not even in
the good part yet, okay? I'm not even in
308
00:28:31,790 --> 00:28:32,790
the good part. You know what?
309
00:28:32,970 --> 00:28:34,510
Fuck you. I was walking by a tall
building.
310
00:28:34,770 --> 00:28:35,770
Whatever.
311
00:28:37,330 --> 00:28:38,330
What was inside?
312
00:28:40,410 --> 00:28:41,369
How long?
313
00:28:41,370 --> 00:28:44,410
Have you been buying weed for me? A long
time. What is it? It makes hot and
314
00:28:44,410 --> 00:28:45,870
worthless drugs. Beat them hands down.
315
00:28:46,390 --> 00:28:47,269
Give me your hand.
316
00:28:47,270 --> 00:28:49,230
No, I can't get fucked up right now.
I've got to drive to Palm Springs.
317
00:28:49,530 --> 00:28:52,210
Palm Springs? Oh, that's fucking
brilliant. Yeah. Why don't you go right
318
00:28:52,210 --> 00:28:54,530
middle of the asteroid? Exactly. I don't
want to fucking stay here and have my
319
00:28:54,530 --> 00:28:56,890
fucking face melt off. Thank you very
much. Just think the size of Australia.
320
00:28:56,970 --> 00:28:58,430
It's not going to matter where you are
in the fucking country. You're going to
321
00:28:58,430 --> 00:29:01,850
get hit anyway. And John didn't come
home last night. Well, that's my
322
00:29:01,850 --> 00:29:04,570
And he's not answering his fucking
phone. Just shut the fuck up. I can't
323
00:29:04,570 --> 00:29:05,570
fucked up right now, all right?
324
00:29:05,850 --> 00:29:06,850
Back this shit off.
325
00:29:06,910 --> 00:29:09,110
I took only 15 minutes of his life,
don't you? I don't think so.
326
00:29:09,450 --> 00:29:11,470
All I'm saying is that if you don't take
one, you're going to regret it. But
327
00:29:11,470 --> 00:29:18,470
it's not really my issue, so... Just
give me one. You're such a child.
328
00:29:21,070 --> 00:29:22,990
This is a female.
329
00:29:29,130 --> 00:29:30,210
Oh, no.
330
00:29:31,550 --> 00:29:36,870
I don't have any scars. I don't... I
don't... You don't have any scars, do
331
00:29:41,450 --> 00:29:43,630
You think someone cut us open and
switched our brains?
332
00:29:43,850 --> 00:29:47,490
Really? A brain transplant? I think it's
a bit hasty to cut to that conclusion.
333
00:29:47,950 --> 00:29:50,730
What the fuck else could it be? We
didn't just switch bodies.
334
00:29:55,350 --> 00:29:57,110
I can't believe I have a penis now.
335
00:30:35,180 --> 00:30:36,380
Come on. Time to go.
336
00:30:43,740 --> 00:30:44,740
Hey,
337
00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:48,800
Renee. Wake up. Time to go, sweetie.
338
00:31:09,580 --> 00:31:10,499
Your phone?
339
00:31:10,500 --> 00:31:11,500
Where's that coming from?
340
00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:21,780
Dude! Dude, where have you been?
341
00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:22,919
Okay, listen.
342
00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:25,940
Hey, if something really serious has
happened, I need your help.
343
00:31:26,140 --> 00:31:28,660
Yeah, no shit, asshole. Put John back on
the phone.
344
00:31:28,940 --> 00:31:32,240
Just talk to my brother, dude. Find out
where he is. Hello?
345
00:31:32,460 --> 00:31:36,620
John? Jesus Christ, where the fuck have
you been, man? The fucking world is
346
00:31:36,620 --> 00:31:38,620
falling apart out here. Everyone is
leaving town.
347
00:31:38,860 --> 00:31:41,940
I don't know. Talk to Jacqueline. Bye.
Talk to Jacqueline? I don't want to talk
348
00:31:41,940 --> 00:31:44,340
to Jacqueline. I want to talk to you.
Where are you?
349
00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:45,840
We're on the boat.
350
00:31:45,900 --> 00:31:46,879
What boat?
351
00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:49,600
What do you mean, what boat? Our boat,
asshole. Your boat?
352
00:31:49,900 --> 00:31:52,140
All right, all right. I'll meet you
there in five minutes. Meet me in the
353
00:31:52,140 --> 00:31:53,079
parking lot.
354
00:31:53,080 --> 00:31:54,120
Don't fucking move.
355
00:32:01,260 --> 00:32:03,780
John, get in the front seat. Jacqueline,
get in the back. Let's go.
356
00:32:03,980 --> 00:32:06,660
I don't know what the rush is. Where are
you going, dude? I said get in the
357
00:32:06,660 --> 00:32:10,300
front seat. Come on. Okay, fine. I guess
get in the front. Come on. Are we going
358
00:32:10,300 --> 00:32:12,840
without you? Go, go, go. How is this
parrot's head?
359
00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:14,140
Just push her over. She'll never know.
360
00:32:14,660 --> 00:32:15,660
What the fuck?
361
00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:16,760
Slow down.
362
00:32:17,060 --> 00:32:19,980
Where on earth have you been, bro? I've
been calling you all morning.
363
00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:22,600
Hello, I'm talking to you.
364
00:32:23,020 --> 00:32:24,020
Where are we going?
365
00:32:24,100 --> 00:32:25,520
Are you not going to talk to me, bro?
366
00:32:25,780 --> 00:32:26,780
Seriously?
367
00:32:27,200 --> 00:32:28,660
We're driving down to Palm Springs.
368
00:32:29,530 --> 00:32:31,070
Why? Why are we going to Palm Springs?
369
00:32:31,350 --> 00:32:32,350
Palm Springs?
370
00:32:32,690 --> 00:32:36,130
I'm not going to Palm Springs. The
epicenter? No. First of all, the big old
371
00:32:36,130 --> 00:32:40,430
hurry is there's a motherfucking giant
destroying our town. I really cannot go.
372
00:32:40,510 --> 00:32:42,990
No one is pulling over, bro. What are
you on?
373
00:32:43,310 --> 00:32:44,930
Hank, come on. What is the rush?
374
00:32:45,290 --> 00:32:48,670
All right, listen to me very clearly.
You don't want to stay here.
375
00:32:49,770 --> 00:32:50,770
Period.
376
00:33:06,510 --> 00:33:10,030
A giant humanoid attacking Southern
California, the military has launched a
377
00:33:10,030 --> 00:33:13,350
-scale effort to contain the beast,
setting up camps across the deserts near
378
00:33:13,350 --> 00:33:14,770
Palm Springs down through Yuma.
379
00:33:15,050 --> 00:33:17,990
Yet doubt still remains. Does the beast
even exist?
380
00:33:18,290 --> 00:33:20,030
We hit the streets for your answers.
381
00:33:20,370 --> 00:33:23,110
What are your thoughts on the reports of
a giant terrorizing Southern
382
00:33:23,110 --> 00:33:25,110
California? It's a great special effect.
383
00:33:25,550 --> 00:33:29,530
I mean, like, what ever happened to
those guys who, like, stole a bunch of
384
00:33:29,530 --> 00:33:30,730
because they were going to blow the
earth up?
385
00:33:31,070 --> 00:33:34,250
Come on, this is Hollywood's last gasp
at attention.
386
00:33:34,790 --> 00:33:35,790
Missing nukes.
387
00:33:35,980 --> 00:33:40,960
Asteroid. Giant. It's just kind of. You
got bigger problems.
388
00:34:39,150 --> 00:34:40,150
In Palm Springs?
389
00:34:41,310 --> 00:34:42,850
Yes! Good!
390
00:34:43,570 --> 00:34:44,770
And you brought me here.
391
00:34:45,790 --> 00:34:48,469
The world's falling apart, Renee. What
were they supposed to do?
392
00:34:48,710 --> 00:34:50,050
We meet in San Clemente?
393
00:34:50,489 --> 00:34:51,489
Who was in the car?
394
00:34:51,650 --> 00:34:54,489
John! In San Clemente's friend or
something.
395
00:34:54,710 --> 00:34:55,368
And my pillow?
396
00:34:55,370 --> 00:34:56,370
Throw it on the table!
397
00:34:56,469 --> 00:34:57,470
We meet there.
398
00:35:15,630 --> 00:35:16,630
Dude.
399
00:35:17,190 --> 00:35:20,130
Totally think we're the only people left
in Palm... spring.
400
00:35:20,430 --> 00:35:22,710
Oh. You're not Hank.
401
00:35:22,970 --> 00:35:23,970
Where is he?
402
00:35:30,770 --> 00:35:33,810
Oh. I never could've think so hard.
403
00:35:36,350 --> 00:35:40,090
You know... I think this might be a
first.
404
00:35:41,830 --> 00:35:42,830
For Najan?
405
00:35:44,450 --> 00:35:45,450
Yeah.
406
00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:46,880
His only.
407
00:35:48,340 --> 00:35:49,340
He doesn't look familiar to me.
408
00:35:49,760 --> 00:35:51,340
He does, really?
409
00:35:52,100 --> 00:35:53,640
I'm hooked up. I don't know.
410
00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:55,860
That's the kind of guy you hook up with?
411
00:35:56,940 --> 00:35:57,940
Shit.
412
00:35:58,300 --> 00:36:00,040
Fuck, he looks like a pretty awesome
dude.
413
00:36:00,600 --> 00:36:02,080
You should totally hit that up.
414
00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:03,280
No.
415
00:36:03,540 --> 00:36:04,540
It's way too girly.
416
00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:26,380
You know what? If you're here to bitch
me out, I'm really not in the mood.
417
00:36:27,100 --> 00:36:28,340
I'm not here to fight, man.
418
00:36:28,640 --> 00:36:29,640
Good.
419
00:36:33,200 --> 00:36:34,280
You saw a giant?
420
00:36:34,600 --> 00:36:35,600
Yes.
421
00:36:35,840 --> 00:36:39,240
Oh, and incidentally, John, I've had
sex.
422
00:36:39,770 --> 00:36:44,450
With Moley Mole. What? Actually, Renee
and I both together had sex with Moley
423
00:36:44,450 --> 00:36:48,930
Mole. Okay, how... Just before a giant
fish just saw. It was awesome. You would
424
00:36:48,930 --> 00:36:51,570
have loved it. So how on earth did you
get a chance to have sex with Moley
425
00:36:51,570 --> 00:36:54,590
Stop barking in my ear, Jacqueline. No,
get back here.
426
00:36:55,110 --> 00:36:58,030
You brought it up. So answer my
question.
427
00:36:58,430 --> 00:36:59,430
Hey!
428
00:37:00,050 --> 00:37:01,050
Hey!
429
00:37:02,930 --> 00:37:04,150
What does he mean by that?
430
00:37:04,890 --> 00:37:06,390
You had sex with Moley Mole too?
431
00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:11,240
Listen, I don't think sex is the best
way to describe what happened.
432
00:37:12,220 --> 00:37:15,840
Okay, then could someone please tell me
what the fuck is going on here?
433
00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:19,320
Ugh.
434
00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:28,900
And as if the asteroid weren't enough,
now we're in for some more trouble in
435
00:37:28,900 --> 00:37:29,779
River City.
436
00:37:29,780 --> 00:37:34,800
It seems that now we might be simmering
in a nuclear fire, should the itchy
437
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:35,800
trigger fingers.
438
00:37:36,140 --> 00:37:38,060
be as touchy as they're bragging to be.
439
00:37:38,540 --> 00:37:43,660
It kind of makes you wish you'd taken
things a little bit more seriously when
440
00:37:43,660 --> 00:37:45,340
you had the chance, doesn't it?
441
00:37:47,940 --> 00:37:48,940
Okay.
442
00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:52,920
Indulge me.
443
00:38:01,540 --> 00:38:02,540
But tell me this.
444
00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:05,680
What happened to Heek?
445
00:38:06,090 --> 00:38:07,090
when he was 10.
446
00:38:08,670 --> 00:38:15,650
I know for a fact that only John, Hank,
their mother, and
447
00:38:15,650 --> 00:38:16,650
myself would know this.
448
00:38:18,790 --> 00:38:20,950
What did their mother have to do with
his penis?
449
00:38:21,330 --> 00:38:24,150
She had to burn a tick out of his
foreskin.
450
00:38:35,530 --> 00:38:36,710
Are you for real?
451
00:38:38,110 --> 00:38:43,150
Duh. I mean, you actually... You
changed?
452
00:38:45,930 --> 00:38:48,010
But you still have a penis, right?
453
00:38:51,490 --> 00:38:55,030
What happened?
454
00:38:55,510 --> 00:38:57,690
Really? You choose now to believe me?
455
00:38:58,050 --> 00:39:03,250
This is fucking incredible. I mean, you
must be fucking stoked. No, dude. I'm
456
00:39:03,250 --> 00:39:04,530
fucking depressed, man.
457
00:39:05,040 --> 00:39:08,180
Okay, I'm going to die here with you
people. I don't even have a fucking
458
00:39:08,600 --> 00:39:09,620
Seriously? Yeah.
459
00:39:11,660 --> 00:39:13,040
This makes me so sad.
460
00:39:14,020 --> 00:39:15,440
Are you fucking serious?
461
00:39:15,660 --> 00:39:17,860
Yeah. Do you realize the power you have?
462
00:39:18,500 --> 00:39:19,900
Sit the fuck down.
463
00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:23,020
What, I wouldn't give to switch bodies
with someone and have a cock for a day?
464
00:39:23,240 --> 00:39:25,680
I would be out drinking and fucking and
fucking and drinking. I'd be
465
00:39:25,680 --> 00:39:27,100
masturbating the fucking shit out of
myself.
466
00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:31,540
So if you have a fucking vagina, bro,
use it. Okay, really?
467
00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:33,420
Could you not make this about sex?
468
00:39:34,110 --> 00:39:37,710
an amazing opportunity for you to be a
woman for a day and just experience what
469
00:39:37,710 --> 00:39:40,750
sex is like. Can you imagine going back
to a man and knowing how to please a
470
00:39:40,750 --> 00:39:43,210
woman? No men know how to please women.
I mean, come on.
471
00:39:43,850 --> 00:39:46,290
And this is about me and my life because
I'm not going to die with a bunch of
472
00:39:46,290 --> 00:39:49,290
sorry, uptight assholes. Now get the
fuck inside that house and rub one out.
473
00:39:53,170 --> 00:39:54,170
Any better yet?
474
00:39:54,570 --> 00:39:55,570
Stay right here.
475
00:40:21,160 --> 00:40:22,160
Don't start with me.
476
00:40:22,300 --> 00:40:24,800
You don't believe me? You don't believe
me. Try it.
477
00:40:25,440 --> 00:40:27,440
Go into the bathroom and do not come out
until you have.
478
00:40:28,220 --> 00:40:31,160
And by the way, get your shit together
and stop the pining.
479
00:40:32,860 --> 00:40:34,120
Take it! Go to the bathroom now!
480
00:40:35,100 --> 00:40:36,100
Take it!
481
00:41:12,810 --> 00:41:13,810
I know about Venus.
482
00:41:15,470 --> 00:41:16,470
Hi, I'm Renee.
483
00:41:17,770 --> 00:41:18,770
You're my new hero.
484
00:42:11,920 --> 00:42:13,040
Maybe I...
485
00:42:57,770 --> 00:42:58,649
I said get up.
486
00:42:58,650 --> 00:42:59,830
I don't want to go inside.
487
00:43:00,170 --> 00:43:01,170
Fuck off.
488
00:43:01,610 --> 00:43:05,330
You ruined my last two days on this
rock. I'll rip your fucking dick off and
489
00:43:05,330 --> 00:43:07,210
mushroom stamp you to the motherfucking
stone age.
490
00:43:10,130 --> 00:43:11,170
Show me how it's done.
491
00:43:16,330 --> 00:43:16,710
Now
492
00:43:16,710 --> 00:43:23,690
come to mama.
493
00:43:24,650 --> 00:43:25,509
Dance for me.
494
00:43:25,510 --> 00:43:26,510
I got nothing.
495
00:43:27,660 --> 00:43:28,720
I said dance for me.
496
00:43:30,480 --> 00:43:31,820
Just move those hips.
497
00:43:33,100 --> 00:43:35,540
What, all that testosterone makes you a
little pussy now?
498
00:43:35,820 --> 00:43:36,820
You're being ridiculous.
499
00:43:37,160 --> 00:43:38,160
You are. Let's go.
500
00:43:38,340 --> 00:43:40,760
Wow. You've got one day left on this
earth.
501
00:43:41,720 --> 00:43:43,280
What are you going to do with it?
502
00:43:45,120 --> 00:43:46,120
Listen.
503
00:43:48,180 --> 00:43:49,640
Don't fuck me.
504
00:45:14,250 --> 00:45:15,249
I don't get it.
505
00:45:15,250 --> 00:45:16,670
They look like aspirin.
506
00:45:18,850 --> 00:45:20,970
There's absolutely no food in this
fridge.
507
00:45:21,810 --> 00:45:22,830
I'm starving.
508
00:45:30,830 --> 00:45:34,650
So, these pills feel like having sex.
509
00:45:36,070 --> 00:45:37,390
How is that even possible?
510
00:45:38,130 --> 00:45:39,290
I don't know.
511
00:45:40,310 --> 00:45:41,310
Try one.
512
00:45:42,230 --> 00:45:43,550
I'm kind of afraid to.
513
00:45:45,360 --> 00:45:52,360
I don't get it. I don't. It doesn't
make... So who's a molly mole?
514
00:45:54,040 --> 00:45:55,040
Just some girl.
515
00:45:55,180 --> 00:45:56,180
Is she famous?
516
00:45:57,300 --> 00:45:59,180
No. Just a girl I know.
517
00:46:00,200 --> 00:46:02,920
So this pill feels like sex with your
friend.
518
00:46:04,400 --> 00:46:06,860
How's it even possible that somebody
could make a pill out of somebody?
519
00:46:07,980 --> 00:46:09,520
You sure it's definitely her? Oh, I'm
sure.
520
00:46:09,740 --> 00:46:14,100
I'm sure it's her. And if Hank says it's
her too, then... What is going on?
521
00:46:22,160 --> 00:46:24,320
I'm really sorry for getting you
involved in all this.
522
00:46:29,820 --> 00:46:34,140
I'm, uh... actually kind of glad you
did.
523
00:46:37,500 --> 00:46:40,880
Um... You should try one of these male
pills.
524
00:46:41,680 --> 00:46:42,760
Why? What does this feel like?
525
00:46:43,380 --> 00:46:44,380
I don't know.
526
00:46:44,840 --> 00:46:46,540
Ask Blondie over there.
527
00:46:48,480 --> 00:46:49,480
Yeah,
528
00:46:49,960 --> 00:46:51,480
I'm not quite sure how I feel about her.
529
00:46:51,970 --> 00:46:53,070
Yeah? Why?
530
00:46:53,570 --> 00:46:55,450
I just keep catching her looking at me.
531
00:46:56,410 --> 00:46:57,410
Looking at you?
532
00:46:57,430 --> 00:46:59,670
When? Like, every five seconds.
533
00:46:59,950 --> 00:47:00,950
Come on.
534
00:47:01,010 --> 00:47:01,948
Oh, shit.
535
00:47:01,950 --> 00:47:02,950
What?
536
00:47:05,430 --> 00:47:06,430
What are you guys doing?
537
00:47:07,290 --> 00:47:08,290
The water's awesome.
538
00:47:09,370 --> 00:47:10,370
Hmm.
539
00:47:12,570 --> 00:47:13,670
Have you tried one yet?
540
00:47:14,350 --> 00:47:15,530
No, I haven't.
541
00:47:15,830 --> 00:47:18,150
Hmm. Are these males or females?
542
00:47:18,810 --> 00:47:19,890
Uh, females.
543
00:47:20,490 --> 00:47:21,490
Oh.
544
00:47:26,760 --> 00:47:27,760
What's she doing?
545
00:47:29,420 --> 00:47:31,140
She took a male pill, right?
546
00:47:37,880 --> 00:47:41,560
You know, there are rarely male advances
that I can't stand.
547
00:47:42,120 --> 00:47:46,320
But the feeling of your eyes on my ass
is definitely one of them.
548
00:47:48,280 --> 00:47:49,280
Whatcha doing?
549
00:47:50,540 --> 00:47:51,540
Testing a theory.
550
00:47:52,300 --> 00:47:53,300
Yeah, what's that?
551
00:47:56,460 --> 00:47:58,040
Rick? What?
552
00:47:58,300 --> 00:47:59,360
Do you have to stare?
553
00:48:00,100 --> 00:48:01,100
Yes.
554
00:48:03,720 --> 00:48:04,880
What are you trying to do?
555
00:48:05,640 --> 00:48:06,840
I want to take the spell.
556
00:48:07,880 --> 00:48:09,400
So just take the thing.
557
00:48:17,380 --> 00:48:20,920
You're the dirtiest fucking pervert in
the world.
558
00:48:39,340 --> 00:48:42,020
I just have a... It's not that. I just
want to try it.
559
00:48:42,500 --> 00:48:44,000
Perfect. Renee.
560
00:48:44,720 --> 00:48:46,380
Just... She's right here.
561
00:48:47,360 --> 00:48:50,100
Hi. I need you to do me a favor.
562
00:48:51,180 --> 00:48:52,500
Experiment. Take this pill, please.
563
00:48:52,740 --> 00:48:56,120
Right now? Yes, take it. Why? Just take
it. It's a male pill.
564
00:48:56,340 --> 00:48:58,540
Just take it. No. Please? No.
565
00:48:59,380 --> 00:49:01,320
I told him everything you told me.
566
00:49:01,900 --> 00:49:03,220
And? The whole situation.
567
00:49:03,560 --> 00:49:06,380
Yeah, what? Let me guess. You don't
believe me. Look, one way or another,
568
00:49:06,380 --> 00:49:07,720
taking this pill. No.
569
00:49:08,040 --> 00:49:09,040
Yeah. I don't think so.
570
00:49:10,160 --> 00:49:11,160
Jackie.
571
00:49:11,960 --> 00:49:12,960
Jackie.
572
00:49:13,400 --> 00:49:17,500
Jackie! I'm not taking it. Wait, what's
going on?
573
00:49:18,480 --> 00:49:19,880
He's going out on the mail to his
daughter.
574
00:49:20,200 --> 00:49:21,200
Oh, yeah? Who?
575
00:49:22,380 --> 00:49:25,760
Johnny. Tell me if these little pills
are my little brother.
576
00:49:26,180 --> 00:49:27,220
Okay. Holy shit.
577
00:49:27,420 --> 00:49:29,600
Don't you think she would have told us
if that was the case?
578
00:49:30,260 --> 00:49:33,020
I hadn't had a male pill since then,
Clement. Until now.
579
00:49:33,520 --> 00:49:34,520
Okay, Hank.
580
00:49:35,080 --> 00:49:38,960
You really need to consider the option
that what I'm telling you is the actual
581
00:49:38,960 --> 00:49:39,960
truth, okay?
582
00:49:40,900 --> 00:49:41,900
I'm John.
583
00:49:42,220 --> 00:49:45,320
Do I need to spell that out for you? And
if what you're saying about the pills
584
00:49:45,320 --> 00:49:48,320
is true and knowing my life these past
couple days, I'm sure it is, I am not
585
00:49:48,320 --> 00:49:50,160
going to take a pill of myself.
586
00:49:50,400 --> 00:49:52,880
You're really starting to piss me off.
Hank, I can't take this.
587
00:49:53,160 --> 00:49:56,500
Well, I can't give it to my little
brother, all right? I need more than
588
00:49:56,500 --> 00:49:58,240
Renee's word. I need confirmation.
589
00:50:04,400 --> 00:50:05,880
Funny to you, but funny?
590
00:50:11,160 --> 00:50:12,680
That's definitely a junk pill.
591
00:50:13,120 --> 00:50:14,920
I need a drink.
592
00:50:18,360 --> 00:50:19,360
No.
593
00:50:23,120 --> 00:50:24,400
Okay, think about this.
594
00:50:25,200 --> 00:50:27,940
No, everything, okay? All of it. The
pill.
595
00:50:28,680 --> 00:50:31,680
Moley mole, Jackie and I switching
bodies, I mean everything.
596
00:50:31,980 --> 00:50:32,980
I'm sorry, can I help you with
something?
597
00:50:33,140 --> 00:50:34,140
You're fucking crazy, right?
598
00:50:34,540 --> 00:50:35,760
Yeah. Okay, but why?
599
00:50:36,040 --> 00:50:37,300
What the fuck? That's what I don't
understand.
600
00:50:37,580 --> 00:50:38,580
Why me? Why?
601
00:50:38,740 --> 00:50:40,100
What the fuck do you want from me? Okay,
but what would you say?
602
00:50:40,340 --> 00:50:43,060
You know, I want a confirmation we were
all going to hell, and it's been
603
00:50:43,060 --> 00:50:46,900
confirmed. You still don't believe
Jackie and I switch bodies, do you? Fuck
604
00:50:47,100 --> 00:50:50,080
Asshole. This mad crazy shit, this is
plain fucking stupid. Ow!
605
00:50:50,480 --> 00:50:51,480
God!
606
00:50:51,600 --> 00:50:53,420
Ow! Get the mosquito off of me!
607
00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:54,800
Fucking little bitch!
608
00:50:55,879 --> 00:50:57,020
You're worthless, brother!
609
00:50:57,280 --> 00:50:58,280
Fuck this noise!
610
00:50:58,680 --> 00:51:02,120
Why the fuck does my last job deserve
that to be with you motherfuckers?
611
00:51:02,480 --> 00:51:05,680
Why did you ever hunt down this ugly
cooter? Fuck you! Where the fuck are you
612
00:51:05,680 --> 00:51:07,580
gonna go now, huh? Forget you guys!
613
00:51:10,360 --> 00:51:11,360
Night.
614
00:51:45,840 --> 00:51:46,840
Hold still.
615
00:51:53,900 --> 00:51:54,900
What's on your mind?
616
00:51:56,060 --> 00:51:57,060
Stop it.
617
00:51:59,280 --> 00:52:01,320
That was a pretty ballsy stunt you
pulled in there.
618
00:52:01,640 --> 00:52:02,640
I try.
619
00:52:02,980 --> 00:52:05,280
Well, I don't really see the need to
fight the day before we all die.
620
00:52:16,970 --> 00:52:19,110
You don't strike me as a very happy
person.
621
00:52:19,570 --> 00:52:20,910
Whatever gave you that idea?
622
00:52:21,210 --> 00:52:22,210
Well, do you have a girlfriend?
623
00:52:22,250 --> 00:52:23,250
No. Why not?
624
00:52:25,670 --> 00:52:26,670
I don't know.
625
00:52:29,130 --> 00:52:31,130
What about Callie?
626
00:52:31,650 --> 00:52:33,370
Cammy? Moe Moe.
627
00:52:35,870 --> 00:52:36,870
Why not?
628
00:52:39,110 --> 00:52:40,110
It's a long story.
629
00:52:40,390 --> 00:52:41,390
So why not?
630
00:52:41,590 --> 00:52:42,590
I don't know.
631
00:52:43,250 --> 00:52:44,250
Okay?
632
00:52:44,490 --> 00:52:45,930
Dire fear of settling down?
633
00:52:48,380 --> 00:52:51,240
Oh, and obviously because I'm paranoid
of moles.
634
00:52:53,060 --> 00:52:56,080
Actually, I'm pretty sure Hank made that
rumor up about Molly Mole.
635
00:52:59,240 --> 00:53:00,340
What about Jacqueline?
636
00:53:03,220 --> 00:53:04,220
Mystery of the unknown.
637
00:53:06,920 --> 00:53:09,860
But then someone comes in and says, hey,
look, here's an asteroid.
638
00:53:11,160 --> 00:53:12,500
Doesn't even matter anyway.
639
00:53:18,960 --> 00:53:20,000
We should have brought Cammy.
640
00:53:20,840 --> 00:53:21,840
She wouldn't have come.
641
00:53:22,220 --> 00:53:23,360
Hey, you guys, get in here.
642
00:53:25,760 --> 00:53:32,640
We are at our greatest loss.
643
00:53:35,680 --> 00:53:36,840
I think I found something.
644
00:53:37,140 --> 00:53:41,460
Our final transmission, we were lucky to
have recovered.
645
00:53:46,670 --> 00:53:48,990
You can see from the footage the
devastation is...
646
00:53:48,990 --> 00:53:57,070
I
647
00:53:57,070 --> 00:53:58,170
want to wish you all well.
648
00:54:00,930 --> 00:54:02,290
These are our final tapes.
649
00:54:04,970 --> 00:54:07,150
May God have mercy on all of us.
650
00:54:07,410 --> 00:54:10,730
And... Godspeed.
651
00:54:12,210 --> 00:54:13,630
It was terrible!
652
00:54:17,160 --> 00:54:22,400
people like it was nothing i saw people
dying
653
00:54:22,400 --> 00:54:29,000
there's one girl that's it man it's just
i
654
00:54:29,000 --> 00:54:33,800
don't even know how to describe it oh
mind -blowing
655
00:55:03,920 --> 00:55:04,920
John, get in here.
656
00:55:53,130 --> 00:55:53,868
Oh, great.
657
00:55:53,870 --> 00:55:54,870
What?
658
00:55:58,310 --> 00:55:59,310
Where's John?
659
00:57:04,880 --> 00:57:05,880
Found something today.
660
00:57:07,640 --> 00:57:08,640
Yeah, what?
661
00:57:08,840 --> 00:57:11,220
I think it might cheer you up.
662
00:57:13,120 --> 00:57:14,120
Try me.
663
00:57:15,980 --> 00:57:17,300
Now don't get too excited.
664
00:57:17,720 --> 00:57:18,820
It's just a loner.
665
00:57:21,120 --> 00:57:25,080
Really? But she's in good condition.
Dude, I don't have the patience for you
666
00:57:25,080 --> 00:57:26,840
tonight. I'm sorry. I'm going to bed.
667
00:57:27,080 --> 00:57:28,260
Come back. Come back.
668
00:57:30,180 --> 00:57:31,180
Grumpy.
669
00:57:32,060 --> 00:57:33,060
Come here.
670
00:57:33,520 --> 00:57:35,600
I'm sorry. I have a real surprise for
you.
671
00:57:36,240 --> 00:57:37,480
And it waits in the other room.
672
00:57:39,660 --> 00:57:40,660
Ladies first.
673
00:57:42,440 --> 00:57:43,440
Vaginas first.
674
00:57:59,080 --> 00:58:02,800
This is your great surprise? The two of
you sitting here ready to cornhole me?
675
00:58:03,560 --> 00:58:04,600
Just sit down.
676
00:58:12,300 --> 00:58:14,020
I'm going to have sex with Jackie
tonight.
677
00:58:14,940 --> 00:58:16,640
And I think you should join us.
678
00:58:18,980 --> 00:58:21,580
Convenient. For you who doesn't have to
fuck yourself.
679
00:58:21,780 --> 00:58:22,900
You agreed to this?
680
00:58:23,900 --> 00:58:24,900
Hmm?
681
00:58:25,160 --> 00:58:26,160
I'm drunk.
682
00:58:26,760 --> 00:58:27,760
Oh.
683
00:58:29,900 --> 00:58:30,900
Kiss me.
684
00:59:02,700 --> 00:59:04,120
Are you a little more relaxed now?
685
00:59:05,300 --> 00:59:06,300
Yeah.
686
00:59:06,840 --> 00:59:07,840
Good.
687
00:59:12,180 --> 00:59:13,180
Come with me.
688
00:59:15,280 --> 00:59:16,280
Gus?
689
00:59:16,640 --> 00:59:17,860
Yeah, I'll be right there.
690
00:59:19,080 --> 00:59:20,080
Take your time.
691
00:59:50,860 --> 00:59:56,400
If you want to hype it up, if you want
to fabricate it.
692
01:00:01,980 --> 01:00:06,360
Scrolling through the camera, looking
for a friend.
693
01:00:49,130 --> 01:00:52,070
Grandma got run over by a reindeer, but
not quite.
694
01:00:52,730 --> 01:00:57,230
Does it have a name? Yeah, yeah. I call
it some 300 -foot asshole stepped on my
695
01:00:57,230 --> 01:00:58,230
mom's house.
696
01:00:59,390 --> 01:01:01,490
Ooh, I like it. When do you get to hear
it?
697
01:01:01,730 --> 01:01:02,830
As soon as I'm done writing it.
698
01:01:03,510 --> 01:01:05,030
And that will be when exactly?
699
01:01:05,450 --> 01:01:06,450
In like one minute.
700
01:01:07,670 --> 01:01:10,410
Not much else to treat you to on this
final day of Earth.
701
01:01:10,830 --> 01:01:15,510
It's about eight hours now. Eight hours
until sundown when it's supposed to
702
01:01:15,510 --> 01:01:18,510
happen. We're located right at the heart
of the Big Mama.
703
01:01:18,920 --> 01:01:21,040
X marks the spot just outside of Palm
Springs.
704
01:01:21,780 --> 01:01:26,000
So, if you're one of the ten or so
remaining people in this town, why not
705
01:01:26,000 --> 01:01:27,000
down and join us?
706
01:01:27,560 --> 01:01:32,280
We're just five miles into the desert.
Take the Joel's Road south to its end
707
01:01:32,280 --> 01:01:33,740
walk the rest of the way, if you must.
708
01:01:34,200 --> 01:01:36,940
The road will end, but your journey will
not.
709
01:01:37,720 --> 01:01:41,060
You almost ready, Jim? Yeah, baby, hit
me one last time.
710
01:01:41,980 --> 01:01:47,260
The end is near, my friends, but we will
be with you all day long until that
711
01:01:47,260 --> 01:01:48,260
last moment.
712
01:01:49,779 --> 01:01:51,260
This song goes out to Vion.
713
01:01:51,980 --> 01:01:53,860
My boy became a man last night.
714
01:01:54,400 --> 01:01:55,480
Take it away, Jim.
715
01:01:57,160 --> 01:01:58,220
Come on, guys, get up!
716
01:02:02,960 --> 01:02:03,960
Guys, up!
717
01:02:04,260 --> 01:02:05,260
We gotta go.
718
01:02:05,880 --> 01:02:07,660
Where? Like, out of bed.
719
01:02:32,000 --> 01:02:33,000
Where are you going?
720
01:02:33,680 --> 01:02:35,460
Dude, come on. Bear with me.
721
01:02:35,680 --> 01:02:39,000
This is our last day alive. We don't
have time to bear with you.
722
01:02:39,720 --> 01:02:45,140
Okay, Jacqueline, do me a favor and just
bear with me.
723
01:02:46,020 --> 01:02:47,020
Okay?
724
01:02:51,040 --> 01:02:52,100
He's really going out there.
725
01:02:52,700 --> 01:02:53,800
What brought this on?
726
01:02:56,000 --> 01:02:57,000
That's just stupid.
727
01:03:02,410 --> 01:03:03,410
Where else are we going to go?
728
01:03:16,550 --> 01:03:17,550
Come on!
729
01:03:19,990 --> 01:03:21,890
It's a brilliant idea not to bring
water.
730
01:03:22,470 --> 01:03:23,470
Hey, Plus.
731
01:03:23,610 --> 01:03:24,610
Yeah, seriously.
732
01:03:25,010 --> 01:03:26,710
Jacqueline! Wait up!
733
01:03:28,090 --> 01:03:29,090
Hey!
734
01:03:30,800 --> 01:03:33,860
You know, we can't go on much further
like this. You've got to plan for these
735
01:03:33,860 --> 01:03:36,580
kind of heights. So go back if you're
not interested. Stop being a goddamn
736
01:03:36,580 --> 01:03:37,580
child, okay?
737
01:03:37,700 --> 01:03:40,540
You haven't even told us where it is you
think you're going, or do you even
738
01:03:40,540 --> 01:03:42,120
know? Hey, where are we going?
739
01:03:42,480 --> 01:03:43,480
I want to know.
740
01:03:43,640 --> 01:03:45,660
A building. It could be a building.
741
01:03:48,280 --> 01:03:50,520
Dude, are you fucking kidding me? You
know what, Hank?
742
01:03:51,000 --> 01:03:55,140
Stop telling me what I can and cannot
do. Stop acting like a pissy little
743
01:03:55,300 --> 01:03:58,960
God, you are such an asshole. Eat a
dick, Jacqueline. Fuck off. You know
744
01:03:59,240 --> 01:04:02,560
It's a shame you didn't drown back in
the 80s when I buried you in the sand.
745
01:04:02,940 --> 01:04:06,720
Hey, save it, Hank. She has no idea
where the fuck she's taking us. Shut
746
01:04:06,720 --> 01:04:08,140
mouth and take a goddamn pill.
747
01:04:08,500 --> 01:04:11,960
Rene, did you bring those stupid pills?
I'm not taking any goddamn pills.
748
01:04:12,580 --> 01:04:15,380
You're gonna fucking shut your mouth and
take a goddamn pill.
749
01:04:16,520 --> 01:04:17,520
Jesus Christ.
750
01:04:17,700 --> 01:04:18,820
Oh, that's just great.
751
01:04:19,280 --> 01:04:21,760
That's great. It's starting to come down
already. Keep walking.
752
01:05:17,450 --> 01:05:18,450
Get back! Get back!
753
01:05:18,510 --> 01:05:19,510
Get back!
754
01:05:20,230 --> 01:05:21,169
Get back!
755
01:05:21,170 --> 01:05:21,428
Get back!
756
01:05:21,430 --> 01:05:22,430
Get back! Get back! Get back! Get back!
Get back! Get back!
757
01:05:23,630 --> 01:05:24,630
Get back!
758
01:05:25,530 --> 01:05:25,870
Get
759
01:05:25,870 --> 01:05:44,848
back!
760
01:06:30,030 --> 01:06:32,750
Looks like you got about five and a half
hours left. You're on your own now.
761
01:06:32,990 --> 01:06:33,990
Love.
762
01:07:38,509 --> 01:07:42,130
Hi. I can't really just see some people.
Hello there.
763
01:07:42,510 --> 01:07:43,750
Hey, I'm really sorry, but I... Hey!
764
01:07:44,010 --> 01:07:45,010
No!
765
01:07:47,390 --> 01:07:48,410
We've got some people.
766
01:07:48,690 --> 01:07:49,950
Where are they? Bring them in.
767
01:07:50,770 --> 01:07:51,770
Really?
768
01:07:52,390 --> 01:07:58,810
What are you doing here?
769
01:08:01,190 --> 01:08:02,690
Radio. Uh -huh.
770
01:08:04,930 --> 01:08:06,050
You're doing radio here.
771
01:08:06,640 --> 01:08:07,640
Uh -huh.
772
01:08:08,960 --> 01:08:09,960
Alright.
773
01:08:13,080 --> 01:08:14,080
Do you guys have any water?
774
01:08:36,680 --> 01:08:37,760
Where the fuck did you get water?
775
01:08:39,680 --> 01:08:40,680
I found a tent.
776
01:08:48,160 --> 01:08:51,260
And so it's not too long now until we're
all toast.
777
01:08:51,700 --> 01:08:53,359
What's the point in rushing, I say?
778
01:08:53,840 --> 01:08:55,620
What's done is done.
779
01:08:56,300 --> 01:09:02,020
So for all you lovers, haters, sinners,
and God -fearing types, why not just sit
780
01:09:02,020 --> 01:09:04,420
back, relax, and enjoy the show?
781
01:09:05,180 --> 01:09:07,620
It's the end of the world. You might as
well enjoy it.
782
01:09:08,040 --> 01:09:11,279
Because it only comes once, and you may
never see it again.
783
01:09:24,520 --> 01:09:26,859
I'd almost forgotten what other humans
looked like.
784
01:09:27,460 --> 01:09:30,840
We've been broadcasting our location out
here for weeks. Seriously? You guys
785
01:09:30,840 --> 01:09:31,840
broadcast out here?
786
01:09:32,080 --> 01:09:33,059
Every day.
787
01:09:33,060 --> 01:09:34,060
Last station alive.
788
01:09:34,780 --> 01:09:35,780
Why?
789
01:09:36,260 --> 01:09:38,080
How do you get a signal or whatever?
790
01:09:38,500 --> 01:09:40,060
We have a dish up on the hill.
791
01:09:40,319 --> 01:09:41,319
Oh.
792
01:09:44,040 --> 01:09:45,140
You were on the boat.
793
01:09:45,979 --> 01:09:46,799
I'm sorry?
794
01:09:46,800 --> 01:09:47,800
That was you.
795
01:09:48,080 --> 01:09:50,819
I meet a lot of people. You wouldn't be
the first.
796
01:09:51,120 --> 01:09:54,300
So you're responsible for this. I mean,
you were on the boat last night. You
797
01:09:54,300 --> 01:09:56,780
were on the radio this morning. You
dedicated a song in my honor.
798
01:09:57,440 --> 01:09:58,440
Dedicated a song?
799
01:09:58,520 --> 01:09:59,520
That's what we do.
800
01:09:59,980 --> 01:10:02,060
You congratulated me on becoming a man.
801
01:10:05,550 --> 01:10:06,550
A man.
802
01:10:08,250 --> 01:10:11,530
Look, I'm sorry. I've got a lot of work
to do. No, no, we're not going anywhere.
803
01:10:11,810 --> 01:10:16,130
No, it's cool, dude. It's totally cool.
No, take back my wishes. I don't know
804
01:10:16,130 --> 01:10:16,909
what you mean.
805
01:10:16,910 --> 01:10:18,930
Really? I don't even believe this.
806
01:10:19,710 --> 01:10:22,270
Is this even connected to anything?
807
01:10:22,550 --> 01:10:24,250
John. What about this? No?
808
01:10:24,810 --> 01:10:28,650
Not even plugged in? Is anything not
even a complete fucking lie? No, put
809
01:10:28,650 --> 01:10:29,650
down. What the fuck?
810
01:10:44,010 --> 01:10:45,290
I think she's coming back.
811
01:10:45,790 --> 01:10:48,970
Take back my wishes! I don't know what
you're talking about. No, see, you know
812
01:10:48,970 --> 01:10:50,770
exactly what I'm talking about. Come on,
let's go!
813
01:10:51,210 --> 01:10:54,150
How about, I wish I could escape this
fucking pathetic body?
814
01:10:54,370 --> 01:10:58,490
Does that ring a bell? Or maybe I wish
this whole, I don't know, goddamn world
815
01:10:58,490 --> 01:11:02,210
would grow as fast as it already is?
That sounds familiar because it
816
01:11:02,210 --> 01:11:04,850
looks like it outside. I mean, I guess I
wish for a surprise.
817
01:11:18,090 --> 01:11:18,809
You know I can?
818
01:11:18,810 --> 01:11:21,630
Yeah. You know I can. Yeah. What is it I
can do exactly?
819
01:11:21,910 --> 01:11:24,570
You. You can take back my wishes. Good.
820
01:11:26,110 --> 01:11:29,830
Have you learned nothing or have I
wasted my time on you?
821
01:12:24,010 --> 01:12:25,010
Thanks, you did it!
822
01:13:05,070 --> 01:13:06,130
Who the fuck is the giant?
823
01:13:07,290 --> 01:13:08,290
Dude.
824
01:13:12,690 --> 01:13:17,470
What, you think Cammy was the giant?
825
01:13:19,830 --> 01:13:20,990
Cammy was the giant!
826
01:13:22,690 --> 01:13:24,770
Dude, what the fuck, moley mole?
827
01:13:39,150 --> 01:13:40,150
Well, what about the asteroid?
828
01:13:40,410 --> 01:13:41,610
You here to threaten me again?
829
01:13:42,530 --> 01:13:44,010
Yeah, but you... You're right, John.
830
01:13:44,330 --> 01:13:45,330
I did it.
831
01:13:45,430 --> 01:13:50,250
I reversed all of your wishes. But the
asteroid, that wasn't my doing.
832
01:13:51,190 --> 01:13:53,930
That, you have to deal with.
833
01:13:55,730 --> 01:13:58,350
Who are you? They were all your wishes,
John.
834
01:13:59,010 --> 01:14:01,610
I just followed through.
835
01:14:03,210 --> 01:14:04,650
So how do you think you do?
836
01:14:12,330 --> 01:14:14,050
It's about to get very hot.
837
01:14:35,610 --> 01:14:36,610
That's it.
838
01:14:37,310 --> 01:14:38,410
I think that's it.
839
01:14:46,520 --> 01:14:47,900
Right. Fuck it then.
840
01:14:49,260 --> 01:14:50,300
Right, Cammy?
841
01:14:51,600 --> 01:14:52,600
Fuck it all!
842
01:14:58,280 --> 01:14:58,780
Are
843
01:14:58,780 --> 01:15:07,720
you
844
01:15:07,720 --> 01:15:08,720
okay?
845
01:15:14,830 --> 01:15:16,370
I stepped on so many people.
846
01:15:19,030 --> 01:15:21,010
I don't know. I thought I was dreaming.
847
01:15:23,970 --> 01:15:25,870
What the fuck is going on?
848
01:15:31,170 --> 01:15:32,170
Look.
849
01:15:33,530 --> 01:15:34,530
Cheer up.
850
01:15:35,110 --> 01:15:37,650
I'm sure you did hundreds of people a
favor.
851
01:15:38,970 --> 01:15:41,730
I'd rather be crushed instantaneously
than killed by an asteroid.
852
01:15:42,390 --> 01:15:44,290
Oh, my...
853
01:15:46,940 --> 01:15:48,600
I'm sorry, that was a bad joke.
854
01:15:50,000 --> 01:15:51,000
Bad joke.
855
01:15:55,500 --> 01:16:02,480
I swear I wasn't trying to follow you
out here or anything. I don't even
856
01:16:02,480 --> 01:16:03,780
know how I got here.
857
01:16:05,480 --> 01:16:09,440
Well, logic hasn't exactly been a sweet
selling point.
858
01:16:10,800 --> 01:16:11,880
So I think you're okay.
859
01:16:13,900 --> 01:16:17,380
Everything's been a little... off.
860
01:16:22,860 --> 01:16:24,380
I'm sorry we have left.
861
01:16:27,060 --> 01:16:28,060
How much?
862
01:16:35,140 --> 01:16:36,180
I'm glad you're here.
863
01:16:36,740 --> 01:16:38,400
Yeah, right. Sure you are.
864
01:16:38,800 --> 01:16:39,800
Yeah, I know.
865
01:16:40,060 --> 01:16:41,060
But...
866
01:16:58,160 --> 01:17:01,920
You guys think that the impact of the
blast will launch the Chinese into
867
01:17:02,700 --> 01:17:06,020
Yeah, I think that's exactly what's
going to happen, Hank. Can we die in
868
01:17:06,020 --> 01:17:07,020
silence, please?
869
01:17:15,840 --> 01:17:18,500
I was a Scientologist for a week once.
870
01:17:21,780 --> 01:17:23,040
Stacey made me join.
871
01:17:23,880 --> 01:17:25,880
I think it's the only thing I never told
you.
872
01:17:26,340 --> 01:17:27,340
Dude.
873
01:17:34,190 --> 01:17:35,590
God, did you guys just see that?
874
01:17:38,810 --> 01:17:39,810
Nah.
875
01:17:43,970 --> 01:17:44,970
All right.
876
01:17:45,010 --> 01:17:47,050
I was the one who took a dump on your
Legos.
877
01:17:48,470 --> 01:17:51,950
Legos? I mean, I know Mom told you that
it was Fifi, but it was me. What the
878
01:17:51,950 --> 01:17:55,770
fuck? I've always felt, like, really
guilty about it. You ruined my
879
01:17:55,830 --> 01:17:57,850
Did you realize that? Yeah, I know. I'm
sorry.
880
01:17:58,070 --> 01:17:59,310
That was a stupid thing to shit on.
881
01:18:00,070 --> 01:18:01,070
Shut up!
882
01:18:05,940 --> 01:18:07,860
Chuck and I had sex with John last
night.
883
01:18:08,340 --> 01:18:09,340
What?
884
01:18:10,140 --> 01:18:11,140
Motherfucker, really?
885
01:18:11,300 --> 01:18:14,520
We were going to invite you, but I was
afraid you were going to shit on us.
886
01:18:14,520 --> 01:18:15,520
you!
887
01:18:17,480 --> 01:18:18,480
Fuck!
888
01:18:24,160 --> 01:18:25,200
I don't have a mole.
889
01:18:26,900 --> 01:18:29,040
What? Yeah, I made it up.
890
01:18:29,440 --> 01:18:31,300
Hey, the stupid name and everything.
891
01:18:31,880 --> 01:18:32,880
Bullshit. Why?
892
01:18:33,710 --> 01:18:38,010
Because I wanted my mom to transfer me
to another middle school. I figured that
893
01:18:38,010 --> 01:18:41,490
the teachers would tell her, then she'd,
you know, pull me out of class all
894
01:18:41,490 --> 01:18:42,490
horrified.
895
01:18:42,930 --> 01:18:44,070
Why did you do that?
896
01:18:45,390 --> 01:18:49,690
Because I asked some boy out, and he
said no to me in front of half the
897
01:18:50,570 --> 01:18:54,190
Nice. Good going, bro. No wonder you
both are fucked up.
898
01:18:56,670 --> 01:18:59,330
I think it's starting to hit.
899
01:19:00,930 --> 01:19:01,930
Watch.
900
01:19:09,100 --> 01:19:10,220
Guess this is it.
901
01:19:11,500 --> 01:19:12,500
Yep.
902
01:19:20,440 --> 01:19:23,860
Do you have to do that right in front of
us? Oh, I'm trying to focus.
903
01:19:40,240 --> 01:19:41,420
Any second now.
904
01:19:55,340 --> 01:19:56,440
I think it missed.
905
01:19:57,100 --> 01:20:03,200
It missed.
906
01:20:03,540 --> 01:20:05,120
Don't get my hopes up.
907
01:20:07,800 --> 01:20:09,220
I think we're going to live, dude.
908
01:20:46,639 --> 01:20:48,080
John, it's the nukes!
909
01:20:53,300 --> 01:20:54,540
It's only the nukes!
910
01:21:00,660 --> 01:21:02,100
It's only the nukes, dude!
911
01:21:02,360 --> 01:21:04,840
That was the asteroid? No, they launched
the nukes! Look!
912
01:21:07,460 --> 01:21:09,860
It's just the nukes! It's just the
nukes?
913
01:21:10,060 --> 01:21:11,340
We're gonna live, man!
914
01:21:11,700 --> 01:21:12,700
Yeah!
915
01:21:13,300 --> 01:21:14,820
Eat a dick, asteroid!
916
01:21:15,300 --> 01:21:16,900
Yeah! Isn't this bad?
917
01:21:17,260 --> 01:21:21,140
No, it's not bad. We're going to live.
Yeah, but I mean... But what? We're
918
01:21:21,140 --> 01:21:22,099
to live, people.
919
01:21:22,100 --> 01:21:25,020
It's only the nukes. We are going to
live.
920
01:21:25,300 --> 01:21:26,340
I love it!
921
01:21:52,270 --> 01:21:53,270
I'm just not getting anything.
922
01:21:56,590 --> 01:21:58,110
I wonder what's going on.
923
01:22:04,110 --> 01:22:05,150
I have no reception.
924
01:22:21,540 --> 01:22:25,220
Broadcasting from Palm Springs once
again. Turn it off, I can't hear you.
925
01:22:25,220 --> 01:22:26,600
from the apocalypse.
926
01:22:27,100 --> 01:22:28,720
What a nightmare that was, huh?
927
01:22:29,100 --> 01:22:31,900
Yeah. Nukes in the skies everywhere
tonight.
928
01:22:32,220 --> 01:22:33,260
Everywhere but here?
929
01:22:33,500 --> 01:22:38,300
Mm -hmm. So unless you're a fan of the
two -headed baby, your best bet, avoid
930
01:22:38,300 --> 01:22:39,520
everywhere else.
931
01:22:40,340 --> 01:22:43,100
So, no apocalypse today. Not this time
around.
932
01:22:43,360 --> 01:22:47,180
Just the promise of a very, very long
winter.
933
01:22:47,980 --> 01:22:50,880
So yes, you've been spared another day
on this rock.
934
01:22:51,500 --> 01:22:55,640
And yes, it's time to bust out that
board and pull those skis out of storage
935
01:22:55,640 --> 01:22:56,760
hit the soon -to -be slopes.
936
01:22:57,280 --> 01:22:58,620
I got mine ready.
937
01:22:59,340 --> 01:23:02,800
She's joking, right? So we've started
the night out in fine form.
938
01:23:03,060 --> 01:23:06,000
At this point, you might as well smile.
939
01:23:07,140 --> 01:23:08,280
You know who you are.
940
01:23:26,670 --> 01:23:28,370
If I die in...
65389
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof