All language subtitles for Call Me Lucky (2015)eng

Thank you very much.

Thank you and congratulations

for being part of this
huge crowd today.

They tell us ifs
not another Vietnam

and then they wheel out
Henry Kissinger

to tell us about it.

Henry Kissinger!

If it's not another Vietnam,

why would they bring
Henry Kissinger?

What, was Goebbels
not available that day?

Goering wasn't around?

Bring out Kissinger.

And he talks like
he's really saying'

"We must very careful

or war will be averted. "

Unlike the U.S. Government,

I've never supported
Saddam Hussein.

Nor have I supported
the Shah of Iran,

Shamir, Sharon'

Suharto,
Chiang Kai-shek,

Kristiani,
,

the Somozas'
the Duvaliers,

Marcos, Batista,

Diem,
Rios Montt,

Stroessner, Pinochet'

Sorezo,
Park Chung-hee,

General Zia,
The Sultan of Brunei,

Assad, King Fahd,
General Zia,

Franco, Savimbi'

Lyndon Johnson,
Richard Nixon,

Gerald Ford'
P.W. Botha,

Margaret Thatcher,
Ronald Reagan

or George Bush.

- Everything about him
was honest and true,

and there was no bullshit.

There was no...

No fake anything.

- Oh, Barry Crimmins,
oh my God.

Who's Barry? Barry who?

He was a guy...

who you heard about
before you actually saw him.

This whispered-about presence.

I never met anyone like him.

- I went to Kentucky...
I got into a big hassle.

I got caught smuggling
books into Kentucky.

Got off on a technicality.

No one could prove
they were books.

- Barry Crimmins was this
weird mythical force

that was a judgmental
sage of some kind that'

you know,
I didn't quite get.

- You know, in the 80s
and 90s there was, like,

this wave of comedy that was...
the truth teller.

And I feel like people
should claim him more.

Because I think he has
much more of an influence

than anybody realizes.

Gruff, smart, annoying...

Like, invasive.

- You know, Barry
should have been a super,

super, superstar, I suppose,
if this was a just world.

- I was always very aware of
this name and this presence of,

"If you really want to see
somebody go to the edge,

you gotta go look
for Barry Crimmins. "

But he wasn't
putting albums out'

the internet wasn't there yet.

- He had integrity,
you know, and he would...

He was a man of his word.

But he was,
he was a nut job!

- Hold on a second.
Watch...

Watch the kind
of stuff I can do here.

Listen, I'm sick of
listening to you yell.

I'm making a TV show here,
okay?

And you're yelling.

Just get out.
I don't like you.

He's like a, you know.

Like a guy in a John Ford
movie, you know?

He's just this combination
of sort of anger

and sentimentality,
you know?

Which, you know, makes him
fascinating but difficult.

- He would rip politicians,
he would rip musicians.

Everything was fair
game in his eyes.

- He's like a combination
of Ambrose Bierce

and Charles Manson,
if you're just looking at him.

Will Rogers and Mark Twain.

- Audie Murphy
and Abby Hoffman.

- He looks a lot like
Fidel Castro.

Noam Chomsky and Bluto.

- Everybody should just
treat each other well...

Because there's a
lot of pain out there.

And comedy has nothing to
do with alleviating it.

It's just a distraction, man.

- I knew that he
was a troubled guy'

that things were
not easy for him.

They didn't seem
easy for him ever.

When he was around he was
always kind of nervous

and seemed fragile
in a way.

But volatile.

- There's always so many people
around making noise and stuff.

You never know
what to do, really'

because your senses are
constantly assaulted.

And your senses are being
assaulted right now by me

because you're watching me
on some electric thing.

And it's making us weird.

- His fuse was getting
shorter and shorter.

- Fuck you.
Fuck your family.

Fucking nine-year-old kid's
giving me shit about politics.

Blow me, all right'?

But that wasn't the issue.

He has demons,
Barry, you know'?

- I didn't know, I didn't
know what made him tick.

But that's the way he was.

But I think...

There was a lot of personal
things that happened in his life

when he was young
that came out later.

This is...

Obviously I'm
talking about Barry,

and you're Barry's sister and...

I don't know what's going on.

If you want to tell me,
this would be the time.

God damn it!

- He lives in a nice house,
nice stone fireplace.

Surrounded by trees
in a very wooded area

m upstate New York.

Wide open fields.

Gorgeous nature.

- He is away from society'
show business,

Wal-Mart,
Top 40 radio, you know'?

He's like a wizard.

You know, he lives,
he lives in the woods.

- I think it's good for
him up there, too.

Chopping the wood.

It gives him a good outlet.

It's a lifestyle.

When you're 30 ifs okay

but at a certain age you
start to get arthritis,

you want a dental plan,
you know?

- I've been a mechanic
for about 30 years

and that's how I
got to meet Barry.

I was working on his cars
and snowplowing for him,

and he always told me
these things that he's done

and I've never believed him.

I usually don't let my
customers be my friends

to a point where they
come to my house

but Barry kinda
broke through that.

- He's the finest person
I've ever met in my life.

Bottom line.

- It's funny,
the contrast of where he is

and commenting on what's
happening in the world

is funny in itself.

It's like if Thoreau
could have a computer.

Yeah, fuck this plan.

Well, there's a couple of things
I really still feel

I have to accomplish,

and if I do I think I'll be
able to put my little tile

in the grand mosaic of life.

And those two things are,
of course,

I'd like to overthrow the
government of the United States'

and I'd like to close
the Catholic church.

- In a lot of ways I think
Barry is his own worst enemy

when n comes to ms career.

He's rarely had an agent.

He can be incredibly stubborn.

He doesn't like to delegate.

He has a hard time
trusting others.

So if you add all that up

and it's not a good mix
for career advancement.

- Would you welcome now,
in any condition,

Barry Crimmins.
Bar.

- Been on sort of a
health kick lately.

Lotta wars going on
right now.

I think cable TV
should pick up on it.

Start a cable war network.

All war, all the time.

- To take Barry and put him
in between Jeff Dunham

and a guy doing
MC Harmer yokes...

It was a very stark difference.

It wasn't exactly profitable

to be doing really
harsh politi...

It was probably doing
fun political stuff.

"Quayle's an idiot,
Reagan's kind of", you know...

But he was, you know,

almost he was edging into
Noam Chomsky territory,

but doing it in front
of a neon, you know,

thing of Charlie Chaplin

with people drinking
blender drinks.

- They're talking about putting
Reagan on Mount Rushmore.

Wow, huh?

If they do that we'll have
to raise a bunch of money

to buy Lincoln and
Jefferson blindfolds.

If they're going to honor him
they're going to put him on

the million dollar bill.

This way all his friends

will have something
to remember him by.

Oh, that HUD scandal
was nothing.

They created homelessness
and got paid extra for it,

and I'm the jerk for
pointing it out, excuse me.

Sorry America at home, too.

Those of you that
still have one. Okay.

- Before like a lot of
these guys like Bill Maher,

Jon Stewart, he was like
one of the first guys

that really would nail
that kind of thing.

So he was the always...

"I know you like Bill Hicks

but you gotta go find
Barry Crimmins. "

- One of the questions I've
always wondered about Barry

is how does he
make any money'?

You know?

And I dare say this.

If you don't know anything about
the lineage of Boston comedy

this place would not exist

if this guy didn't start
where he started

way back in the 80s.

He's a nice man,
he's a gentleman'

he's a funny man.

He's one of the best
performers working today.

Please welcome
Mr. Barry Crimmins.

Give him a nice
round of applause.

Barry Crimmins.

- I became a vegetarian
a long time ago.

You know what happened,
I was...

I was eating a chicken leg which
was a bone with meat on it,

and I was holding it
with my hand,

which was a bone
with meat on it.

My name's Barry Crimmins

and I'm from Skaneateles,
fucking New York.

- Barry's childhood.
Take 1 A&B count, mark.

- Okay, this is my
childhood home. 27 Sta...

- Barry, turn over the other shoulder...
- Okay.

- This is...
- It's this one, right'?

- It's this one.
- It's the brown one'?

- We've got the wrong
house framed up.

Are you fucking kidding me'?

- Well, this is my
childhood home.

27 State Street.

Centrally located in
Skaneateles, New York.

Skaneateles is an Indian
word that means

"beautiful lake
surrounded by fascists. "

It's spelled
S- K-A-N-E-A-T-E-L-E-S.

And when you can do that
you're in the second grade.

It's changed over the years.

A lot of the fascists have died.
New people have moved in.

- My father was the only
Democrat in the damn town.

That's the truth.

- You know,
while we only have one

24 hour Christmas
ornaments shop,

but there's, you know,
15 or 16 others

and they have a Dickens
festival at Christmas,

even though most of
the people in town

that I grew up in would
have rooted for Scrooge.

I come to my high
school reunion.

I went to my 20th
high school reunion

because I was on TV and stuff
quite a bit around then.

But then a couple of the boys
pulled me aside and they said

"Grimmer.

We gotta give you a chance
to clear your name. "

And I go, "About what?"

"We heard when you
were over in Boston

you done an AIDS benefit.

Now this isn't true, is it?"

"Yeah, I've done dozens
of AIDS benefits. "

"Well, you're not a
queer, are you?"

I'm whatever threatens you.

I'm a Communist
with AIDS and I bite.

He hated school...

but he was a genius
in my mind.

- You know, and he
was probably smarter

then any of the
teachers in there.

What's your rules of work?

- My rules of work are simple.
A to Z gravity.

In other words,
the worst first.

And in my case...
childhood was the worst.

- He was born in Kingston,
New York,

which was the first
capital of New York.

On July 3rd so he was
almost a firecracker but...

On the 3rd of July
in Skaneateles

they have flares that they
plant around the lake.

And Barry for years thought
it was for his birthday

because it was the 3rd of July.
That was kind of fun.

I didn't have to put
too much out on his cake.

This is my brother,

my only brother
and my biggest brother.

He's big, yes.

Everything was funny to Barry.

I mean, the news
was funny to Barry.

- Oh, he had a great
relationship with his father.

His father was very humorous.

And he'd say to me.

"I had some good jokes
to give him.

Barry didn't want them. "

My mother,

we'd be leaning in and,
you know, lecturing

and my brother would
talk back to her

in a voice like John Wayne.

My mother... and we would
just crack up, you know'?

Because it's my younger
brother talking to...

"Get ahold of yourself, mom. "

- And we rode around all
day in the back roads,

smoking cigars
and drinking beers.

- Yeah, we went down
to Watkins Glen.

H was 1973.

Grateful Dead playing,

The Band
and The Allman Brothers.

So, you know,
we get there the first night.

We're camping out in tents.

Huge thunderstorm comes up.

Crimmins is all of a
sudden out of the tent

with an umbrella,
looking for something.

You know, a beer or something,
you know? Whatever.

I happen to be looking,
peeking out of my tent

right at the same time.

All of a sudden this frigging
lightning bolt comes down.

Just fries the friggin umbrella,

Goes off into everywhere.

He told me he was on acid.

Probably... well, yeah.

Crimmins is, like,
running around going, like,

"Wow, did you see that?"

Anybody else would
have been fried.

- It was a good,
centrally located place

for an idyllic childhood.

Except unfortunately
the Catholic church

was only three blocks up there.

- You know, we grew up in
those years Catholic.

Being taken to church
every Sunday.

Barry was always going
to church really early

in the morning
before everybody else.

It was almost like Barry
was a servant of the church.

- There's these early morning
services in all churches,

ostensibly because priests
are supposed to say

a mass every day.

It's, like, apparently
some sort of, like,

milking a cow thing,
I don't know.

There was this priest,
Father Neary,

who hated me and
I couldn't figure out why

'cause I was a sincere kid
trying to do my job.

But early on Neary
gave me the old

pedophile shoulder rub thing.

He started that.

And I just hit him with an
elbow. it was a reflex.

And so I get stuck serving mass
with this monster every day.

And he was really scary.

He looked like
Christopher Lee,

the guy who played Dracula.

I would come in
through the basement

and I would creep in
and be as quiet as possible

because he was terrifying.

And there he would always
be sitting in this chair,

and the stained glass would
be bathing him in this eerie

green and blue and red.

And I would be on the altar

and I would pour the water
to wash his hands

and he would go,
"Are you trying to drown me?"

I would ring the bell.
"You know we don't need...

you're not working with
the fire department. "

Every day,
he just made my life miserable.

He tried to get me into
his car a couple of times.

"You wanna go get an
ice cream?" No thanks.

- Yeah, we went to the same
high school in Skaneateles.

He was a couple of
years ahead of me.

Big jock.

He just came up to me
one day and just goes,

"Listen, I'm doing a comedy
thing over at Under the Stone. "

I remember it so clearly,

just walking into
that side door

down underneath the restaurant.

And, you know, I was in the
middle of a comedy act

m Skaneateles. New York.

- I don't know if ifs
the awful weather

or what but there's
something about that area

of Central New York
where people are just,

just hilarious.

And years later I was
reading this book about

the Iroquois Indians'

and apparently Ben Franklin
and Thomas Jefferson

thought they were
fucking hilarious.

So, yeah, there
was an ad, you know,

"Comedians Wanted" for a
comedy open mic night happening.

The ad did say.

"Comedians Wanted,
Bear Cat"

People called him Bear Cat.

I don't know if he referred
to himself as Bear Cat

tn the text of this ad.

- Oh, n did in the ad.
- n did say n?

- Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
- Oh, okay. So guilty.

- We did start calling
ourselves Bobcat and Tomcat,

- directly kind of making fun of, making fun.
- As a spoof.

I used to be a doctor,

but now I'm

- I was 16,
you were 15 I think.

- We were in
high school anyway.

High school knuckleheads.
How old was Barry then?

He was in his...

maybe like 26 or 27
when we met him.

Yeah.

So you know Barry would be
calling and my mother was,

you know, understandably curious
and a little nervous like...

- Yeah, yeah.
- "Who is this Barry Crimmins?"

"He runs the comedy show
at the Old Stone Mill... "

"What's he doing
calling here?"

"He wants to talk about
the comedy show. "

'How OK! is he?"

"I don't know... 40? 45'?
I don't know. "

He always seemed
like an old guy.

You talked me into
doing comedy.

"Hey, you're funny,
you know what I mean?"

Ah, I don't know.
You were always Bob

"Full Steam Ahead"
Goldthwaite.

And I'm Tom
"Let Us Not Be Hasty'

Let's Weigh All The Options"
Kenny.

You know, that whole night
and that experience, like,

you know, going up and
then getting the validation

of this guy Barry Crimmins,

that did change the whole
course of my life, I think.

- To see Barry in
this environment

with the comedy
made sense.

It was extremely funny.

I mean, I laughed
to the point of tears.

And he said to me,

"I'm gonna make a living
at this if it kills me. "

And that was shortly before
he left and came here,

he came to Boston.

He called me and goes,

"I found the perfect spot.

It's a Chinese restaurant

that does country western line
dancing four nights a week.

I'll be able to talk
him into anything. "

- "I'm gonna start a
comedy club here.

We're gonna make it
five days a week. "

- He ran a club there that
everybody wanted to work.

It was a great club.

- Might have been the
best comedy club ever.

- He saw the comedy
wave coming.

- The Connection was
paying $15 bucks a set.

Barry paid $20.

Connection said,
"Okay, we'll pay $20."

Barry paid $25.

Connection went to $25,
Barry went to $30.

And the next thing you know,
you're making $400 bucks

on a Friday night.

That was Barry.

He recognized talent.

He booked
Paula Poundstone over there.

Sweeney and Lenny.

- Bobcat Goldthwaite
was part of that.

Kevin Meaney, Rogerson.

Dennis Leary.

- He basically spawned all
of these great humorists.

It was a family, a real family,
not like a show biz family.

It was fucking cool.

- He knew something
was happening.

- We didn't know what hit us
and it turned out to be

the foundation of
comedy nationally.

He would take the money,

like, what I was being paid,
like, $30 bucks.

He'd have it crunched up,
crunched up

and he would throw it
on the floor.

He'd just throw it on
the floor at my feet.

He'd go, "There!"
Then he'd walk away.

Jokingly,
like, you know'?

Over and over.
Not just once.

- Of all the
bigger-than-life characters,

Crimmins was the biggest.

And you could tell he was,
like, in charge.

- He wasn't the most
successful comedian in Boston;

he was, like,
the president of the scene.

- He had become this guy
that you could go to

and he understood your plight.

He understood my comedy.

Even though I didn't even
understand it myself.

What's wrong with you people'?
God... my eye!

- He just seemed to have extra
knowledge of stuff in general.

So if he was giving you a
compliment comedy-wise,

it was really...

it felt good.

- I mean, I remember we did
a Ding Ho reunion one time,

and everyone was going on and on
about what a great guy Barry was

and how he helped
me do this and,

you know, I said, "Look,
I don't think Barry likes me.

And, you know,
that's just the way it is. "

And then afterwards for,
like, every time I saw him,

"Yeah, I don't like you,"

"Yeah I don't like you,
I don't like you,

what are you gonna
do about it?"�

"I don't like you. "

- And he was very
direct with comics.

He had quality control
at the Ding Ho

m terms of who he booked.

- I love most of the
comedians that I work with.

Almost every single
one of them.

- The first time that I
performed at the Ding Ho,

I brought about 40 friends
from the neighborhood.

I was supposed to do
5 minutes.

H ran about 24 minutes.

I don't want to brag,

I'm not trying to make
anyone feel uncomfortable,

but two years ago
I went to Europe.

Huh!

Excellent country.

I was an open micer

and Crimmins is in the back
going, "That's Clark!"

"That's Sweeney!"

"Do your own shit, Tingle!"

You know,
I was demoralized.

And so he was saying
the next day,

"You know, you really have
to go through your stuff

with a fine-toothed comb

to make sure it's not
derivative of other people. "

I think that was the first time
I heard the word "derivative. "

- You could tell straight away
that there were other comics

who respected mm

but were a little irritated by
their having to respect him.

Does that make sense?

I was really scared of him.

He didn't have an
open demeanor.

- I think the terror of
Barry Crimmins being mad

made us funnier.

- You know what else
made me mad this summer

when we sold the
Statute of Liberty

to huge corporations?

I felt we could have fixed
that with our tax payer's money.

I would... would you be
real indignant about that

if they took tax money...

What, you would say
"You took our hard-earned

tax payer's dollars
and you fixed the goddamn

Statute of Liberty'?

Next thing you know you'll be
defending the Constitution. "

They surrounded the Statue
of Liberty on its birthday

with rich thugs in yachts.

H's looking down and saying

"I asked for huddled masses.
What is this?

Who painted "Beatrice"
across my crown?"

Liberty and justice for sale.

I got sucked in.
I donated $100 bucks,

they sent me a Statute
of Liberty tote bag.

I use it to smuggle baby
Mexicans into the country.

- Barry, are you going
to vote this year?

- Yes, I already
voted in the primary

and I will vote, certainly.

- Ah, would you tell us
who you voted for?

Um... no.

...No?

- He was a very lovable,
capable,

straightforward comedian

that was able to smuggle
stuff about authoritarianism

and consumerism
into a seemingly

middle of the road set

that the audience would laugh
at and then it was too late,

they'd already started
laughing at some pretty

subversive, you know,
apocalypse-culture

son of stuff.

- Can you believe Exxon actually
called a press conference

to tell us that they're going to
pass the cost of the oil spill

along to us,
the consumers?

No kidding.

I was sure the vice presidents
at Exxon would have insisted

on paying for the
entire affair.

"No, no, no,
your money's no good here.

Those otters are on me,
I've got those. "

Did you hear what
the Chief of Staff

for President Bush John Sununu
said about this oil spill?

He said, "Hey, nobody ever
mentions how much oil

didn't spill out
of the Valdez. "

Once in a while you
need an up guy

like John Sununu, you know?

Is the tanker half-empty'?

- I was always amazed that Barry
knew the stuff that he knew.

Before the internet,
before CNN.

I was like,
how do you know who

the Defense Minister
in Syria is?

How do you figure
that stuff out'?

- I have to say,
I know when it was politics,

like, on stage or
even hanging out'

if he said something,
I would say that,

two thirds of what
he's talking about

I don't know what he means.

- I love the new pope, too.
He's a wonderful man.

He's a wonderful man.

A leftist, according to his
PR man from Fox News,

Greg Burke.

Good man.

Celibate-.

Doesn't do a thing
with his penis,

his dirty, dirty penis.

And he's selled to us that
he's this progressive man who'

who tells that we
should help out the poor.

We should help them.

We should help the poor...

'cause God forbid the
church sell a fuckin' chalice.

- I remember in the mid 80s,
seeing him,

maybe before I even started,
you know, doing comedy.

So he's smoking,
he's wearing a jacket,

maybe a tie.

He's got this afro
and his mustache.

You know, he's greasing the
audience with some garbage

about this and that.

Then he does a few
political jokes

and just sort of,
like, nothing.

He's getting nothing.

And he's exasperated.

And then he just stops,
defeated and goes,

"All right, there are three
branches of government... "

And he starts a civics lesson.

- I think to be a guy who takes
the world very seriously

and is outraged by bullshit,

to have been really
politically aware

at the height of the mass
hypnosis of the Reagan era,

must have been
acutely distressing.

- Let's start with the part
that is the most controversial.

A few months ago I told
the American people

I did not trade arms
for hostages.

My heart and my best intentions
still tell me that's true.

But the facts and the
evidence tell me it is not.

- Our international policies
under Reagan are great.

Central American policies
are tremendous.

If people are hungry,
kill them.

- But this group of over
150 religious leaders,

each baring crosses with
the names of people

they say were killed
by Contras,

was among those in Washington
vigorously opposing

the president's proposal.

- Well, you know, I had
been going to Nicaragua

for the previous
three or four years.

I was a big supporter
of the Sandinistas.

Barry was very much on top of
what was going on down there.

He had done a lot of material
about the Iran-Contra affair.

- The President's so into
pulling boats into harbor

I'm afraid he's going to pull
the boats into harbor

in Nicaragua which
would be a big mistake

'cause he mined that
three years ago

and he's old and he forgets.

- So he was the
perfect person to bring.

- One of the finest political
satirists you will ever see.

Would you please say hello
to Mr. Barry Crimmins.

Barry?

- What a tough summer its
been in the United States.

We have this big presidential
election coming up.

Of course the big problem
is someone will win.

Just some rambling
notes from a guy

kind a freaked out
in another land.

The Contras, though,
from what I understand,

I mean, they keep comparing
them to the founding fathers

of the United States,
Thomas Jefferson and stuff.

And from what I understand
they're cocaine dealers.

I never read a quote
from Thomas Jefferson,

"Come on in the men's room,
I'll tighten you up. "

I thought I was just supposed
to say no to drugs...

unless they're from the Contras,
then just say, "Si. "

- He was loved down there.
People liked what he had to say.

He, you know, gave the
whole group credibility.

- I keep hearing about the
Contras, the freedom fighters.

And I thought about it for a
while and I realized they are:

some of them have been
fighting freedom for what,

close to forty years now.

Whenever it rears
its ugly head.

They don't get that joke at
the comedy clubs in America.

So I'm in Nicaragua

and I'm in this field hospital
with all these kids.

H's so hot'

they're so uncomfortable'

a lot of them with fresh wounds.

You could see they're
wrapped up in gauze,

and there's blood coming...

I mean, it's, like,
really heavy.

And every kid on one of
these cots has lost a limb.

Lost an arm or a leg,
or whatever.

And for whatever
reasons they said,

"Okay, Barry,
you address this group. "

So I tell them that
they're not my enemies,

and what has happened to
them does not represent

what an awful lot
of people I know,

and have listened to what
I've had to say on stage

and in public,
does not represent us.

And I do not want
to harm children.

I do not want to harm
babies who have...

I do not want to harm you.

You're beautiful

and you've been... and my
country did this to you.

And as someone who believes
in freedom this is what I do.

I say this is wrong.

And I oppose this.

And I love you.

And I hate fucking
Ronald Reagan

and the fucking
bullshit PR campaign

that this country is about.

I fucking despise it.

And I don't like to hate
and despise

but I do cause it's crap

and it kills and maims
and harms innocents.

And there's tears
coming down the kid's faces.

There's tears coming down
everybody's faces.

And then I just said,
"That's all I got.

I got nothing else to say. "

And the applause starts.

I have heard the sound
of one hand clapping.

I've heard the sound
of one hand clapping

and it haunts me,
stays with me my whole life.

- Why don't you just ask me
what you most want to know'?

I mean, he told me at one
stage of the game that,

you know, someone might
call to interview me

but nobody asked me
to be filmed.

Okay?
You understand?

And so, um, so when I
understand I'm being filmed

then suddenly I'm thinking,

oh, I think I'm being asked
to discuss something

very intense.

- Anybody who does any kind of
political humor runs into this.

It's not for everybody.

And so it's a hard thing
anyway,

coupled with the fact of
personal experiences

that are hurtful and
haven't been resolved.

And in terms of drinking'

was he trying to block
something out?

I don't know.

He would have to be the
one to diagnose that.

- I don't think I've
ever seen Barry

without a beer in his hand.

I think that was,
you know, that was it.

- I remember that distinctly,
watching him on stage and...

First of all not believing
how much he could drink

and go on stage.

This isn't going to be enough,
by the way.

- He's the hardest drinking
man who's not an alcoholic.

We would do the show

and after the show
the core would stay.

We'd lock up.

There are fights.

And they were
behind the bar, like...

the first thing I noticed
about the Boston scene

is they had the keys
to the bar.

This place is magic.

And there's been
a lot of magic here.

Kind of like that.

When I was 19,

I was at the other
club owner's party

and I had been drinking
and then I took some acid.

And I might have done
some coke that night,

I don't know.

I was a maniac.

I was blacked out

and I just ripped the
VCR off the television

and threw it out the
window in a snow storm.

I kind of just destroyed
the whole place.

The next day I couldn't
have been less popular.

Like, everybody
kind of abandoned me.

I felt so alone.
I felt horrible.

And Barry just reached
into his pants pocket

and gave me a couple
hundred bucks and he said,

"Why don't you go home

and figure out what you're
going to do with your life. "

And I've been sober ever since.

- We left the Ding one
morning, about 5:30, 6,

and we went to a place on
Mass Ave and it was closed,

or we were there too early,
and I said,

"Why don't we go to
Julia Child's house?"

Welcome to The French Chef.

I'm Julia Child.

1-
This is a cheese souffle.

- So we go down by the
river where she lived,

and we pull in.

Pull into Julia Child's
driveway.

Get out of the car,
bang on the door.

"Julia!
Wake up!

Make us breakfast,
you fucking bitch!"

And Crimmins is going'

"We're gonna get arrested,
this is where she lives. "

He looked at the mail,
he goes, I said,

"Yeah, I used to know,
I know used to deliver mail...

I was the paper boy,
like, I was... "

And I go, and he goes,
"You're out of your mind. "

And of course the
whole house woke up

and we managed to
evade the police.

- I remember one time being in
the dressing room with Crimmins.

He used to talk like, you know,

"We're gonna make
a difference here. "

And I'm like, "Uh... does
anyone have any coke'?

Is there coke around?"

- The most insane thing that
happened at the Ding Ho

is everybody became
a cocaine addict.

- So Barry, as you know,
hates cocaine.

- And we all kept it
from him, you know'?

- You doing drugs?
What kind are you on?

- Uh, cocaine.
You want some'?

Uh, no thanks.

- "No, I'm not doing coke.
No, no, no. " You know?

So, you know, "I gotta go
to the bathroom again. "

You know'?
And you go in.

Yeah,...
Do I look all right?

And he knew it.

- I get in the cab one day
to go to the Ding Ho,

where I worked for several
years to make the place happen.

And someone says, "You going
over there to get some blow?"

"Jeez, no, I'm going over
for the prostitutes. "

- Interestingly enough,
he wasn't the alpha.

The alpha was Lenny
and the beta was Barry.

- And he was, you know, he was
cerebral and did his politics,

and I was the exact opposite
end of the spectrum.

'Cause I love women.

Women are probably the
number one reason

why I'm not
a homosexual today.

Okay, I blew one guy but
I needed a ride real bad.

Ah, you're great.

I'm kidding you,
I'm teasing you, folks.

I didn't need the ride.
See, the thing is...

- He would overlook my,
my, my right wing,

my right wing nut job stuff...

because I pulled people
into the club.

And he was not a stupid man.

He saw me bringing people in,
and so he says,

"We'll put up with your bullshit
because you bring people in.

But you're wrong!
You're wrong!"

There was the night I
walked in with a chainsaw

and I fuckin' sawed one
of the tables in half

and the fuckin' place- I said,
"Any hecklers here tonight?"

And sawed the table m half.

And the fucking
crowd went crazy,

and Crimmins was steaming,
just steaming.

Couldn't wait to fucking get me.

And he says, "Are you
out of your fucking mind'?

What if that fucking chain broke

and went up and sliced someone's
fucking face in half?"

I go, "Wow, man, that
would have been cool. "

But you know,
in retrospect, he's right.

What if I hit a,
what if I hit, like,

a screw or something,
and the chain, like,

you know?

People,
they don't want to maimed.

They want to laugh 'till they
puke or piss their pants

but they don't want to
be maimed, you know'?

I voted for Ronald Reagan.

To this day I think he
was a great hero to me.

And I'm sure he was the
Antichrist to Crimmins,

and he said so on stage.

But I'm testimony to the
fact that his compassion,

his humanity, isn't restricted
to people that agree with him.

- You know, we were very
close and very different.

He's more about anger and I'm
son of more about depression.

He's also one of the few
people I know who gets

more articulate the angrier
and more upset he gets.

- Forgive me, and if I seem
like I'm threatening stuff

or going after stuff,
I'm negative or whatever...

no, but there's just a lot
of bullshit out there

and I have all week
to notice it

and you guys don't so
I just try to report to you,

and I mean well, and if I
seem negative or whatever,

please, it just means
I'm still in there pitching

and everybody else has
given up so who's positive

and who's negative in
that deal? I don't know.

- You may recall, in 2005,
there was a woman,

Cindy Sheehan, who had
lost her son in the war.

And she wanted to
see George W. Bush.

And she went down to Texas

and she was waiting
outside the ranch.

- I don't want any
more children to die.

I'm a broken-hearted morn.

Why would I want
one more mother

to go through what
I'm going through

just because Casey is dead?

- It started off a little slow
with seven people

and then Barry came down.

He was there for weeks.

I mean, he... I mean, hundreds
and hundreds of media came

as a result of his efforts.

- I think he could also
see what was happening'

how the media and other
forces were coming

to kind of spread
their own message.

He is deeply offended

that the world doesn't
think these things

are as important as
the world says they are.

He would like the world
to be a principled place.

He would like politics to
be an honorable profession.

He would like the world
(o share his values.

And one of the ways it's
expressed when he's on stage

is in the tremendous
kindness that he shows

to the audiences
he's screaming at.

You know'?

- Barry Francis Crimmins
is fucking ashamed

of the United States
of America right now.

You should all be... if
you've got no fucking courage,

if you don't stand up
against this bullshit,

and you don't believe,
go read some Tom Payne

and then see what you
should do right now.

You decide what you do right
now because I'm embarrassed.

I'm embarrassed
to live in a country

where everyone's
cowed into bullshit.

"Oh, well, well, but
you know in the end

we're still the greatest land- ♪

We suck right now.

The United States of America
in 2004 sucks right now

and is an embarrassment.

So lets see if that
makes the cut.

I hope it does.

If it does,
you're watching a good movie.

- He stopped, I think,
worrying about whether

he was being funny or not.

And the audience,
rightfully was like,

"Who the fuck is that guy'?

Why is he yelling at us

because I don't know about
where chalk comes from? "�

- What I couldn't do is,
I always had to close shows

and would watch the
acts on before me,

and I would watch the audience
think they were great

and I'd hate the audience
by the time I got out there

because it was, you
know... you know,

"Where you from'? What do you do?
You're a queer. "

You know those comics.

Why do women go
to the bathroom in pairs?

Because they get
hassled by drunk men.

Write an act, you asshole!

How come foreigners drive
cabs and work at the 7-11'?

Because they're entry
level jobs, that's why.

Same reason your great
grandparents built the rail road.

Write a goddamn act!

I used to be proud
to consider myself

a stand up comic but I can't.

I don't want the
guilt by association.

- He doesn't do it on purpose
but he can make you feel

a little small or guilty
about having had a...

really a basically
incorrect political idea

or notion about something.

- I didn't mean to
insult you or anything...

well, I guess I meant to,
like, inform you

but it came out as an insult.

I'm awful goddamn
sorry for that.

- He doesn't even really
like the word "comedy".

And, you know, having
covered comedy for so long'

I can understand how he's
sort of at odds with it.

I sometimes feel cheap,

that I'm up just up on the
stage making people laugh.

It's kind of like
testing your reflexes.

It's just a nervous reaction.

And I think he has
always felt that way'

I suspect, as a comedian,

that he wasn't going up there
just to make people laugh.

- Fucking I hate comedy,
I really do.

Almost everyone involved
with it, ya know?

I'm super-needy
but blah, blah.

What did you think?

- And it was extremely
stressful just watching him

because first people
would be mad that

they're not really laughing.

Some people would leave.

And then there would
be... some people would heckle.

Barry doesn't...

he doesn't suffer
fools wisely.

He lays into those hecklers.

It is completely unbelievable.
It's just beautiful.

Whoever it is doesn't know'

does-n'! know what he's doing,
really.

He thinks he's just going
to yell at the guy on stage.

He doesn't know the force,
the energy,

that he's going to be
crushed verbally for two'

three minutes maybe.

Just overwhelmed.

- Someone would say something
and he would just go off.

What?

Did I vote for Carter?

In this most recent election?

Yeah, I was a die-hard.

Jimmy Carter?!

What, if I don't like Reagan,
I have to like...

therefore it falls
I like Carter. Fuck you.

You're like a college student,
aren't you?

College students
these days are real hip.

"I support the president.

I've got a computer
in my dorm.

I've never gotten laid.
I got drunk once;

I'm pretty sure
the beer was bad. "

Fuck you.
Fuck your family.

No, he kept going and going.

And then he would fuckin'
beat them down so much.

Want some more?

Fucking gold boy?
Fuck you. Fuck you.

Jesus, not tonight,
not tonight.

- And he would do
a litany of shit.

More facts and'

"Did you know this?
And did you know that?"

And the people would go,
"What the fuck, man?

It's a comedy show. "

Jimmy Carter?!

What, do you think
I like Jimmy Carter'?

Jimmy Carter and his immediate
family has never been seen in

public without mucus on
some part of their body.

Carter's best plan
to get the hostages out

is go out into the desert
and attack ourselves

with helicopters.

You know what he promises?

"A government as good
as its people. "

Apparently we suck.

"If you don't like Reagan,
you like Carter. ll follows. "

Fuck you.

"Fuck you.

Fuck you,
Mister Politic Boy.

That shit doesn't
affect me. "

He goes,
"It doesn't affect you?!"

- My impression of
Richard Nixon:

"Where is that constitution?"

How come nobody ever shot
that motherfucker?

Shoot him.
Piss on his grave.

He would go into a rage.

And I said,
"Barry, what the fuck?"

- There was something shaky
and weird about him

but I couldn't put
my finger on it.

- I don't know if a lot of
people knew why at that point.

I don't 'think I did.

- I certainly wasn't the
only one who noticed it'

but there was just...
you knew that wasn't him.

And then when all that
stuff happened with him,

you kind of understood,
you know,

that self-protective shell that
he put over himself for so long.

- I remember writing about it
and talking to him and saying'

"You gotta cutout
the clubs for a while.

The clubs just
aren't working for you.

I don'! know what you're
going to do next

but the clubs obviously aren't
the right place for you. "

As I look back now
in retrospect,

a lot of this makes sense.

- Okay.
Mm-hmm. I love you.

- Okay.
Bye, mom.

He's had some rough times

but he's like I am,
you know?

I've had them, too, but I
forget about the rough ones

and try and be happy
that I'm alive and doing well.

- I knew my mother liked
Black-Eyed Susans

and I would pull clumps
of them out of the ground.

I didn't know that you were
supposed to cut them off,

so I would bring them
to her like clumps

with the roots still dangling,
all full of dirt.

And because she liked it
so much I kept doing it,

and I didn't realize she was
getting kind of a kick out of me

being an idiot.

Now I feel bad about
wiping out generations

of Black-Eyed Susans.

But, you, know, that's me,
I find a way to ruin anything.

He was really a great boy.

- So this was dated back
in early May of 1992.

"Barry Crimmins has been the
social and liberal conscience

of the Boston comedy
almost since its beginning.

His topical and political
humor has always been

intensely personal
and acidic.

Crimmins took both of those
traits to a new level last night

in perhaps the most
highly-charged

and soul-baring
monologue ever staged

in one of the city's
comedy clubs. "

That was amazing.

He got up at Stitches.

- It was just like a regular
stand up comedy show.

And the crowd was good

and he was popular in Boston
and everybody loved him,

you know,
so they were all psyched.

- There was nothing
funny about it,

as one might imagine.

"Near the end of the night'

after a rambling,
scathing indictment

of almost every aspect
of American government

and culture'

a clearly tortured Crimmins
suddenly shifted topics. "

- Anytime somebody that
you've known for a long time

discloses something huge
and game-changing and...

it makes you rethink
that whole person.

- "Since I was a little kid,
he began,

I could never stand to see
anyone innocent victimized.

I've always identified with
victims and thought that was

because I was some
white kid from a rich town

in upper state New York.

Only recently, Crimmins went on,
did he really begin

to understand that
wasn't the reason.

The room instantly grew as
silent as a newly dug tomb. "

- So I'm a little kid...
I'm a real little kid...

and I'm by all reports
a sweet little kid.

Curly haired...

I mean, I remember
everybody loving me.

I remember, you know,
strangers doting on me'

and I remember
trusting everyone'

and I remember delighting in,
figuring out what's going on.

What, you know,
day and night is,

and what, you know,
the sun is.

I was a good little kid,
you know?

And I deserved a break.

I was a sweetheart like
every little kid. You know?

I deserved a break.

And I didn't know
what was headed my way.

You know,
my parents who weren't...

they just went out sometimes
so they had a babysitter.

And, uh...

the babysitter
kind of set me up

and made me like her a lot.

And then this guy
started coming over

who was her mother's
boyfriend or something.

You know, something that was
an arrangement that wouldn't

have been formally
discussed in the late 50s.

Sometimes you know
who's not good.

And anyway this guy
was not good.

And,you know,
I can remember him, like,

touching my curly hair.

There was always, like,
an attraction, you know'?

Like, I generally
didn't mind but this guy...

there was something just wrong.

You know, I couldn't tell
you now how many times.

I mean, I could never...

how many times or whatever
but it was a number of times.

This guy would come over,

he would take me down in the
basement and... rape me.

- Barry felt that it was key
to interview you.

He actually said to me
that you're his hero.

And that's in regards to...

ms rape.

- It's scary for anybody
of any age to really see

someone who's gone,
who's the face of evil,

who's like this nothing.

There's no soul there.

There's nothing.
It's just so...

possessed by what they have,

what they feel like
they have to do,

what they can't not do.

And I would of course
scream and cry...

and... my face would get shoved
into these couch cushions...

to muffle the noise.

Well, this sewed to
suffocate me and I...

I would get asphyxiated
and pass out.

This is...

a lot to ask of me.

Anyway, so...
let's see...

So I was, like, five.

So I.. - even like a normal
five year old,

I sneaked in the house, right?

And nobody was upstairs.

So I thought that was
very strange, like,

you know, where's Barry?

Where's the babysitter?

So...

I went downstairs,

walked down the stairs and...

you know, I thought
Barry was dead.

Then the babysitter saw me
and yelled my name

and then Barry
looked up at me...

And I ran and just...
knew he needed help.

So I made it up
almost to the top stair

and she got my foot'

and I was screaming,
and I bit the babysitter.

Pretty hard.

- I read of this poor
little girl in India

who was raped to death.

I think she was 3 years old.

Imagine that. I mean,
I've been through some stuff'

but being raped to death...

Well, I mean, that's the
end of your whole life.

And I just felt
so badly for her,

felt so terrible for her.

And I was,
you know, relating to it,

and I was just thinking, yeah,
so, it could've been worse.

I had almost been raped
to death a number of times.

- But it's that glance
that gets you,

you know what I mean?

Life registers in, in... kind of
visually on people, you know?

It's a glance that lasts
a lifetime, you know?

Just like the glance from
my brother, you know?

And I had to, like, belt out of
there and run up some stairs

and what the hell'

and yet the whole world
was changed for both of us

from that point on,
you know?

- It was the most shocking thing
I think in my life that I heard,

when I heard the whole story.

I mean, it makes you
just revile humanity.

It makes you want to hug Barry
and just... or fucking kill him,

you know,
put him out of his misery.

And it just took a long time for
me as his friend to get over it.

- To me it gave me
a little bit of resolve

knowing the man that I do.

'Cause there was, there
was always anger there.

There was always something.

- He's always seemed a little angry.
- There was always...

- he was always pissed off at something, and...
- And he'd show it on stage too.

- And it started to
kind of fit into place.

- I do remember the
headline in The Phoenix:

"Baby Rape. "

And it was,
you know, something

that I don't think
I understood,

fully comprehended at first.

It was like something
that I myself would go'

you know, "Why, why would you,
why are you talking about that?"

You know?
"That was a long time ago.

Why bring that up?"
You know?

And it wasn't until that I came
to terms with my own sexuality

and my own abuse

that I looked back
on that and said,

"Look at how courageous,
you know,

he was to admit that
and not be afraid. "

A lot of gay people
here tonight?

Just me. OK.

You know, Lenny
had called Crimmins

and told him that I was gay.

And then he called me
and it wasn't...

he didn't even ask me,
you know,

if I was or wasn't gay.

It was just, like,
this kindness that he had that,

it would be okay if I was.

And I just continued to
deny it, you know?

"No, I'm not, I'm not. "

Because that was my whole life,
you know?

That, you know,
you were just, like'

constantly hiding
that you are who you are'

you know,
so I couldn't admit it.

It took me a long time to,
you know, come to that,

come to those terms'

and when I did, you know,
I called Barry and it wasn't...

he didn't say, "I knew it,"
or anything like that.

It was just this kindness
that he had,

and if it was anything that,
you know,

if there was anything
that he could do to help me,

you know,
he would be there.

But you can be
a football player.

You can be a fucking homo
and be a football player.

How about that?

You couldn't do that
years ago.

Now you can be
a football player.

And everybody's going,
"Oh my God, he's so brave.

He's so brave!

He plays football,
and he's gay.

He's brave.
That's brave. "

I'll tell you what's brave.

I told my wife I was gay.
That's brave, alright?

That is brave.

- So many people
said this to me:

"Well, are you talking
to anyone about it?"

Yeah, I thought I was
fuckin' talking to you.

You know?

But what they're really saying
is go talk to the psychiatrist

who's then gonna...
and I did, and you know'

they said, "Well, there's
a variety of things... "

and basically they
were just telling me

what drugs
they could put me on

and for once in my life
I turned down drugs.

- I was sitting in the offices
of Moving Forward,

the news journal that
I published and edited,

and answering phones,

and I get this call
and it's Barry Crimmins.

So he told me a
little bit about himself,

but it was very humble,
you know?

He didn't get into,
you know,

all this stuff about
being a famous person

or, you know,
anything like that.

He really just wanted
someone to talk to.

He had been rejected repeatedly
by numerous organizations

who were out there
supposedly helping victims

of childhood sexual
abuse and...

you have male survivors
and you have female survivors

and generally the
two mix quite well,

at least in my experience.

But there are, you know,
both men and women

who don't want anything to do
with the opposite gender,

you know, the gender
that they were abused by'

and unfortunately Barry
encountered a couple

of these people in Cleveland.

When Barry went to Cleveland

he kind of stopped
doing comedy

and was looking for
other survivors,

people like him who had
been raped as a child.

And this was when AOL
was in its infancy.

And they had all
these chat rooms.

- You know, Barry called me
up one night and he said,

"Lana," he said'

"Go here and then go here. "

You know, "Look at this. "

And I, I just went...

Wow, I couldn't believe,
you know, what I was seeing.

- What he ended up finding
was people exchanging

child pornography.

- You know, it's the
first time these people

ever had a community.

You know, I mean,
you really could never talk

to other child
molesters or whatever.

And they're emboldened
and living it up,

and when I first
stagger in there,

I do what any
normal person would do,

I just go,
"Are you people crazy?"

- Somebody would in
good faith send you a file

and expect something in return.

- They very often would start
sending me child pornography

to show me how much
fun I could have.

- He had gone to AOL
repeatedly and said,

"Look what you're hosting,
this horrible stuff. "

And they would just, you know,
patronize him and say,

"Thank you for your help
with this" and do nothing

'cause they were making
a ton of money off of it.

- You know, we're used
to broadband, okay?

I mean, you know, this...

when we were on dial-up modems,
this was not a flat rate,

and if you spent a certain
level of time online,

you got charged more.

- And one of the main things
that these child molesters

talked about in these
rooms was, you know'

they're spending a thousand,
$1,200 a month to be on AOL.

- So Barry poses
as two children

and stockpiled all
this information

that was evidence...
crime evidence.

That's what child
pornography is.

- I make an account,
and I make it two kids,

and they say
"Our parents make us share...

our stupid parents
make us share an account. "

- I just can't imagine kind of
locking yourself away

and pretending to be,
you know,

one of these people that
caused him such misery

in order to set them up.

- If you've seen
child pornography...

when you've seen
a picture of a little kid

with curly red hair
getting raped by a big guy

who looks exactly like him
with curly red hair,

and the look on the
kid's face and his eyes'

you can see, like,
the humanity leaving the kid...

The loss, the...
he's just shutting down

as much as he can
while still being alive.

- I know that
seeing what he saw

was something that he
couldn't get out of his head.

- You know, he damaged himself
to, like, save these kids.

And, you know, you talk about
things that you can't unsee,

and he saw so much
horrible stuff.

- I think that one of the
things that's so extraordinary

about this is how
physically sick Barry was.

- He told me he got down to
something like 155 pounds,

which, you know, was probably
a good 100 pounds lower

than he had been.

- He had a haunted,
hollow look.

I've never seen anyone transform
to a shadow of a person

like I saw him transform.

- As with most people
who have been abused,

different things are gonna come
back to you at different times.

Somethings going
to trigger a memory.

A difficult, painful memory.

And I know that this did.

I know that this did that-.

- This guy contacts
me and he says,

"I want you to take a pair
of your underwear

and pee on them,

and... do you know what a Ziploc
bag is?" I said, "Yeah. "

"Put them in a Ziploc bag
and mail them to me. "

And I said'

"Sure, give me your address. "

I became aware of Barry

because my immediate
boss instructed me

and another fellow prosecutor

to go out to his house
and to speak to him.

He had something to (ell us.

We drove to Lakewood.
It wasn't too far away.

It was in an apartment complex.

I remember we had to pound
on his door a number of times

to get his attention.

He finally came to the door'

and we were met by a man
who was fairly striking.

He had dark hair.

Unkempt, for sure.

- You know, here's Barry
with a Che poster up.

A lifelong LSD enthusiast.

I'm sure they...

I don't know what
they thought of Barry.

- He had been looking
on the computer

and researching the sharing
that was taking place.

People were talking to
each other on computers

and at the time our office
didn't even have computers.

We couldn't understand
what he was talking about.

How were people communicating
with each other on computers?

- Yeah, you can even talk with
people all over the world

on chat lines.

- Don't they have chess games
and stuff like that, too'?

- Yup. They got more stuff
than you can imagine.

- It was clear that
he had knowledge

about what he was doing,

but when we saw him,
it didn't make sense.

He was a man that I could
describe as crazed at the time.

He said that they were
sending images of children

who were being raped

and images of children who
were having sex with adults.

It's something that we
had never heard of before.

We were shocked.
We were astonished.

I mean, I left there
fairly shaken

and not knowing how our office

was going to deal with
that into the future.

He essentially left us
with a big problem.

- I was thinking Frank Capra
but feeling Don Knotts

as I began my testimony
before the U.S. Senate

Judiciary committee.

My hand trembled so rapidly

that there were small craft
warnings for my water glass.

- There's no excuse in
presenting pornography

where children
can get ahold to it.

- Senator Strum Thurmond,
Pterodactyl, South Carolina,

Thurmond's genius may
be that nobody ever

knows what the hell he's saying.

The indecency.

The lawlessness of pornography

being presented where
children can reach it

should not be allowed
under the law.

- I unsuccessfully stifled
a huge grin

as he blathered some
senatorial cordiality

that he was appreciative that'

"This
here hearing was important

'cause it concerned children. "

- Our children are the
future of this country.

- Senators Russell
Feingold of Wisconsin,

Mike DeWine of Ohio
and Paul Simon of Illinois

all boasted of their
unfamiliarity with the internet.

This being 1995.

It seemed as if they took
a certain manly pride

in how low tech they were.

- Most of the Senators who voted
wouldn't have the foggiest idea

how to get on the
internet in the first place.

- My children,
if they were here'

would tell you that
I'm computer illiterate,

so you're gonna have to kind of
take" walk me through this.

- I have to say there is
no one in this room

with the possible exception
of Senator DeWine now

who is less competent
in this area

of computers than I am.

- Each bravely disregarded
his cyber illiteracy

and went on to espouse
numerous platitudes

and make impassioned,
ambiguous statements.

- You know, I'm not a lawyer,
and I'm not going to say

that I know exactly where things
fall within the Constitution.

- After hundreds of hours
of documenting

things to sickening to relate,

my moment had arrived.

A man stepped up beside me.

After months of knocking
on AOL's door,

I was suddenly face to face
with Bill Burrington.

My name is Bill Burrington.

- America Online's
Assistant General Counsel

and Director of
Government Affairs.

Burrington was nattily attired
and youthfully handsome

with male model, slicked back,
wind tunnel resistant hair.

His shoes were worth
more than my education.

So there I sat'

my heart pounding
but in the right place.

Sitting in the sterile,
formal environment

of the U.S. Senate
hearing chamber,

I was haunted by
the horrifying images

I had seen over the
past seven months.

The children with the dead eyes
and (he defiled bodies.

I wished everyone
could see the pictures.

I wished no one
could see the pictures.

And I thought about the kids
who could still be protected.

My name is Barry Crimmins.

I'm a writer and a children's
rights and safety advocate

residing in Lakewood, Ohio.

I'm also an adult survivor
of childhood sexual abuse.

I go into this hearing with my
suit and my Jerry Garcia tie on

and I look like a, you know,
a marijuana grower

at his arraignment.

Much of the controversy
surrounding the problems

of online pedophile centers
on parental controls.

- Parental control protects
the vast majority of families

where parents want to control
what their children do.

In many cases, the parents
themselves are the perpetrators

of these crimes.

This issue completely
disregards the serious reality.

AOL constantly has rooms
entitled "Family Fun,"

"Nudist Families,"
"Incest is Best,"

"Have Hot Step Daughter,"
and so on.

In these rooms,
child pornography is traded

and incest is discussed
and celebrated.

Many of the photos that are
exchanged are purportedly

of people's own children.

- Mr. Crimmins rejects parental
control on the basis

that some parents transmit
images of their own children.

But we think this
misses the point.

- I'm all for
parental control software.

I was, I was mischaracterized
as being against it.

I just pointed out a flaw in it'

that some parents
abuse their children.

- He was angry, and they're
not used to hearing anger.

And of course he was angry.

Look at what he'd
just been through.

They weren't quite sure
what to make of Barry.

I hope this will result in the
arrest of numerous traffickers

m child pornography.

I also hope that it establishes
that AOL has had a great deal

of prior knowledge as to how
its service is being misused

and therefore AOL
facilitates and profiteers

on these dastardly crimes.

- I think that there were
some statements made that are,

are accurate and some
that are a bit misleading

and we appreciate Mr. Crimmins
involvement in this issue.

We want to make sure we
have an accurate record.

We want to work with
Congress to protect children;

empower parents to screen
out unwanted material;

and preserve constitutional
guarantees of free speech,

free press and
individual privacy.

- These people are
deluding themselves

if they think child pornography
is protected speech.

It is not.
It is crime evidence.

During his testimony,

he made several patronizing
references to me,

and he attempted to
dismiss as dated

many of the problems
I described.

- Much of the activity that
Mr. Crimmins has been involved

on America Online
occurred early this year,

in January/February.

Last Monday afternoon'

I was sent numerous files
of child pornography.

I attempted to forward it
to AOL's post office boxes,

the toss adviser,
toss email, they...

n said that n was unavailable

because it was full
in both cases.

I don't know how much it
would cost them to open up

another mail box
for themselves.

And I haven't heard back
about those files,

for example,
and I very rarely do.

- Now, in your case,
you did receive responses.

I've reviewed the correspondence
and you received responses...

- I've received
responses at times,

but I haven't received
responses at other times.

And the more heinous it is,
the less response I get.

It's like there's denial
involved or something.

Well, there's no denial here.

We're trying the best we
can to manage our growth.

- Mr. Burrington, let me
make sure I understand

what your testimony is.

You mention that it's
your company's policy

that if we've got a room
full of pedophiles

and you see that going on,
that you try to zap that out.

Is that correct?

- We truly have pretty much
"three strikes, you're out"

at America Online, as a
lot of the services do,

which is you are
given a warning...

- I don't think child... people
trafficking child pornography

should get three strikes.

I think they
should get one strike.

I don't think that they
deserve three strikes.

I think that's a heinous crime,

and I think one strike
and you should be out

for child pornography.

- OK, let's take it,
if I could...

- And all of a sudden
I see Chuck Grassley

lean over to his aide and go.

"Who is this guy?"

And, you know,
the guy goes,

"He's one of ours. "

Grassley's like'
"Oh, OK, OK."

I had 'em.

And Burrington
from that point on

had lost his very
expensive footing.

I've explained this to AOL,

I've sent them extensive
questions...

I've almost did an
interrogatory...

for the past several months.

Their response has been
arrogant and dismissive.

Barn/ continued,
and the buzzer's going off.

How close are you to, uh...

- I'm getting there.
I'm very close.

- OK, I hope so.
- OK.

- Barry's just blowing
right through 'em.

- It's not hyperbolic to state
that AOL is the key link

in a network of child
pornography traffickers

that has grown exponentially
over the last several months.

What has recently taken place
is nothing short

of the de facto
decriminalization

of child pornography.

This is a full scale emergency'

and I'm here to tell the
American people today

that not only are their
children in danger

when they're on AOL'

they're in danger
because of America Online.

Thank you.

- I remember not really
getting the depth

of what Barry had been through

until I saw a list of the names
of the chat rooms.

And when I sat with
that list on my desk'

after I printed it out,

I just put my head down
on my desk and sobbed.

And...

it wasn't only because
of my own abuse,

you know, because
I saw, you know,

"Daddy Does Daughter,"
and, you know,

just this vile, you know,
representation of violence

against children.

But it was because
I saw just in words

what Barry had been through.

- If you can judge a person
by the enemies they make,

you know, my enemies are, like,
NAMBLA and politicians.

Now, I can live with that.

- I think the important thing
about Barry is his connection

with trying to make the
world a better place.

That's the thing that never,
never changes, you know'?

He's not become
cynical about it.

He's not allowed it to sort of

poison the way he feels
about people.

I always hit it off with Barry
right from the beginning

because although he
was political,

he wasn't sort of ideological.

- The most memorable show that
I saw Barry Crimmins do

was he was performing
with Billy Bragg

and it was a big tour
that Billy was doing

with the Red Star Army'

and Barry Crimmins was
really opening the show.

He was the emcee
for the show.

- So we invite him on
and he would, you know,

do the equivalent
of a guitar solo.

He would do a
couple of punchlines.

We'd break,
he'd lay in there.

1,2,3,4.

- You know, Billy,
a lot of people ask me...

You say you're from
the United States,

But if I hate that
country so much,

why don't I get out of it?

I say, "Because I don't
wanna be victimized

by its foreign policy. "

- It was almost
like a Socialist

sort of version of Laugh In
where Barry would tell a joke

and then Billy would
go back into a song.

I guess he was...

I guess he would've been
the Goldie Hawn of it.

It's just funny where'

you know, I'm working
in bars every night,

and we're just going, and
we're telling our dick jokes

and going home or
whatever, you know'?

So Barry wins this Peace Award
from this Peace Abbey.

So I go to be at the
ceremony or whatever

and it's... the two recipients...
it's Barry and Maya Angelou.

You know?

So they had the ceremony'

and Gandhi's grandson is there

to present the award
to Maya and Crimmins.

And... he's overweight.

Like, he's pretty overweight.

And I'm just,
we're at the ceremony,

and Crimmins just
whispers to me like,

"That's Gandhi's grandson.

He could lose a few. "

Let me ask you this:

Irish... religious upbringing?

- I'm a Catholic
but it's in remission.

It's in remission?

Based on fear
and real estate.

- Did your religious upbringing
influence your politics,

do you think?

- Yes, those people
mistreated me so much

that they made me start to
believe in that kind of stuff.

I tweet the Pope every day
demanding excommunications.

You know,
we gotta have our hobbies.

I haven't been to mass
in 43 years.

Our trial separation is over.

Please excommunicate me.

Chase away the Monday blahs
by doing something new

like excommunicating me.

I know what you've done.

I know what you represent.
Are you fucking kidding me'?

I go, send me...
I'll know I'm in hell...

if there's Popes and
Bishops there, shitbag.

Later on... this is now
40 years later...

and my friend John Considine
calls me one day and says,

"Go online, check out the
Syracuse Post-Standard

and there's a story
about Neary in there.

And this guy Charlie Bailey
has gone public

and talked about how

he had been tremendously
sexually abused. "

- Barry's helped me by
telling me, you know,

that, reinforces, that you'

you're told that
you're the only one

and you feel like
you're the only one.

And then Ban? saying,
you know,

he had I'll n-ins
with Neary, and...

you know,
you feel a little bit good

that you found somebody
else that's been in your shoes,

but then you feel awful
that they exist, too.

These guys are masters
at what they do.

I mean, they're...

I would swear to God they
take a class somewhere

because what he did is he
told my mother, he says,

you know, I would be upset
after my counseling sessions

because it's really
hard to be a priest

and there's a lot of pain
and sacrifice involved

in becoming a priest,

so if afterwards I was upset
or I was crying,

I was withdrawn,
just ignore it.

Say a prayer over 'em
and ignore 'em.

And this is all about 6 weeks
worth of grooming

before he finally raped me.

- This piece of shit
operated for years,

and was from church to church
all over upstate New York,

harmed hundreds of children.

Countless little boys.

I know of probably 25, 26.

- I had been raped by a priest,
when I was 12, 13 years old

and this guy's name
was Thomas Neary.

I was in a deep,
dark depression,

and I really didn't know
what to do or where to go.

Sometimes I would type this
priest's name in the internet

to see if there was
anybody out there.

So I typed in his name and
up came Barry Crimmins' name.

- If I ever saw anybody
do that to a kid,

I would be over that
fucking railing so fast'

smashing his head with a
tabernacle or whatever

the lucky magic shiny
shit they should sell

and feed the poor with.

I saw people keep their mouths
shut and not break silence

and not take action when
a child was being harmed

right in front of their eyes.

How much did that...

how much did everyone?
silence embolden Neary?

He tested the waters with
what he did to me in public

on that altar every morning.

He did Mo me.

If he could get away
with that shit in public,

what do you think he could
get away with in private,

And what he could get
away with was raping kids

and making them swallow
his filthy, fucking semen

and telling them it's Eucharist,
that's it's the body of Christ.

Fuck him.
Burn.

I hope there's a hell you
fucking piece of shit, Neary.

I hope there's a fucking hell,
and I hope there's an eternity,

and I hope they triple
the time of it,

you fucking piece of shit.

Fucking Pope.

Fuck you, Pope!
Fuck you, Pope!

And they find Francis of Assisi
after a thousand years?

Oh.
I'm so mad.

I mean, like,
I fucking hate the Ca-

I mean, really,
God bless everybody.

Nah, I don't mean to say that.

But I don't mean not to.

'Cause I don't like,
you know I...

atheists are just
so evangelical.

It's like you become.

You know,
you become what you resist.

You're evangelists.
You know, like, I don't care.

Telling me that we all
gotta believe the fucking shit'

or I don't gotta believe
the fucking shit,

or whatever the fuck it is.

Leave me the fuck alone!

I got tortured enough
as a child dealing with

the fucking Catholic church.

And I don'( want to sign off
on your fucking shit

or talk about it anymore!

I just wrote that.

"Many people are so overwhelmed
by the thought of child abuse

that they'll do just about
anything to change the subject

when it's mentioned.

The most common device these
subject switchers utilize

is the ultimate decree.

They'll say, 'I think if someone
gets caught abusing a kid,

they should be
rounded up and killed.

Case closed. '

I wouldn't have
wanted my rapist

put out of his own misery
and into mine.

I started life without
blood on my hands,

and I aim
to keep it that way.

Had the man who had raped me
on numerous occasions

not died in prison while
serving his third term

for sexually abusing
very young boys,

I might have gone to see him.

My personal revenge
would've been to show him

that I did not become
what I resisted.

And I hadn't grown into a
cruel and heartless man.

I would've told him that he
inflicted a burden upon me

that almost killed me.

And not just when I was
nearly asphyxiated

during his savage assaults.

Then I would tell him that
I was sorry that he had such

a miserable and wasted life.

Even if I supported
the death penalty,

I wouldn't want child rapists
killed simply because

they were once
children themselves.

In all likelihood,
they were abused children.

While most victims of
childhood sexual assaults

don't grow to
become pedophiles,

the vast majority of pedophiles

were sexually abused
as children.

Who knows what would've
happened to me

if I had been raped a few more
times or a few years later. "

Now, if it had been
five more times,

would I have gone over,
would I be the rapist today?

Would I be the m...
you know,

would I be the horrible
person today?

I don't know.

So spiritually, I mean'

I feel like I have this
huge debt to pay.

I feel like there's entire
nations that feel like I do.

You know?
There's entire nations.

And you know what, and that's
why I don't give a shit about

American dreams
or whatever 'cause,

I mean, you know what,
I, that's who I am.

That's the country I am.

I'm of the country of
the raped little kids.

I'm of the country of
the fucking heartbroken.

And the screwed over.

And the desperate with
no chance to be heard.

That's what country I'm from.

- People tended to believe
that abuse in males

was exceptionally rare.

Well, I think we know now
that's not the case.

And a lot of that is in large
part to what Barry's done.

I mean, Barry has been
very out there as a survivor.

- I've had some problems
from when I was younger

from people you
trusted very we'll

and they did some
bad things to you

and he helped me get rid
of that to a point

where I can focus on
more of my family

than rather than have that
be in my mind all the time.

That's one of the things
he knows about my life

that there ain't a lot
of people that know.

And, uh...
he did that for me,

and I'm very thankful
for him for that.

- Any chance Barry got,
he was defending me

or he was telling
the true story

'cause of course there
were a lot of lies

and stuff out there about me'

but he was there to say.

"You know, I actually
know Cindy Sheehan,

and this is the Cindy
Sheehan that I know. "

- It started, like,
on Memorial Day.

And I was just home,
and I was, and he said,

"No Vet should be alone
on Memorial Day.

You should have a... you
should have some cook-out. "

So he bought me one of them
big barbecue chickens

and some other stuff
and it was...

and then, and then he left,
you know,

he was like, you know,
a ghost sometimes.

He would do stuff
when I was asleep.

Sometimes I'd wake up
and, you know,

the dishwasher is empty or
there's something, you know'?

Ifs like,
how'd this happen?

To me, prayer is behavior.

You don't stand on
a mountain and say'

"I believe in God
and you don't.

Therefore I'm saved
and you're damned. "

Prayer is gestures.

It's trying to do
the right thing,

always trying to weigh the
right and wrong in everything

before you make a decision.

And Barry always does that.

- I think those of us
who survived

have all learned coping skills.

I'm not sure when
I first met Barry,

which probably was in the 80s.

İf he had all the coping skills
stitched together.

He used to talk about
being followed by the wolf.

The things he had
yet to work out.

The rape.
You know'?

The rage at some of the
political things that happened.

- It's almost like there's
a need in him to get back

what was taken from him then.

You know?

But the reality of that is
there is no getting that back.

- I gotta tell you.
You know what?

I don't give a fuck anymore.

I don't give a fuck.
Let me tell you this shit.

Monday...

Monday, we went
to the basement...

we filmed in the basement where
I got raped as a little kid.

And so since then,

I don't know,
I've been a little spacey.

You're gonna laugh.
It's OK.

But I went.

You know, I went there.

I don't really go back there
and hang around that often.

You know, I've done my
quote unquote "work",

although there's always
more to do sometimes.

And what I believe about
that work for abuse survivors,

you have to go through things
and not around them.

But "through" is a goal,
you know?

You get "through" it.

I was given some sort of a gift,
or I have some sort of a gift

or was born with it,

where I can convey
things to people

they don't generally
want to hear about.

If there were some grand
rhyme or reason to things,

I could understand why
I was gonna grow up

to be a big strong man who
knew how to tell people stuff

they didn't want to hear
and make 'em like it.

You know, not like
what was happening

but make it accessible
to people.

What I came to learn and
out myself a break about

and many other people

is when you meet people
and they behave oddly

or they have these
weird quirks

or whatever it is
they're doing,

if you figure out
where they come from,

what happened to them,
whatever their deal is,

you realize there's
sanity at the source

and instead of this
behavior being like insanity,

it's in fact ingenious.

It's a survival technique.

So, you know, I had my
survival techniques.

There's no way...
coming someplace where

what happened to me as
a child, coming back to it,

does make
your breath a little shorter

and you feel it
a bit in your...

in the pit
of your stomach.

Thais W?
Hob; "�My.

It's a different place.
Good.

So it's just sort of on,
you know, sort of on this site.

You know... and I
don't think we need to...

I don't think there's any need
to build shrines to demons.

Um, I...

I hope that there's been a
lot more good spirits here

than that one awful one...

and that generations of kids
have grown up and visited

and played in that house

without anything
happening to them

except things that
should happen to kids.

They got a chance.
They learned about life.

They had fun.
They laughed.

And that's the only trepidation
I would have about this

is I wouldn't want any kid
that lives here, you know...

Although, we have to
compromise a little bit

of children's innocence
to keep them safe.

To tell them they
must be protected...

YOU know?

There's no shrine
to that maniac

who did those heinous crimes
to me and my sister.

Maybe because
even witnessing it'

you know, is severe violation
of a young spirit or anybody.

Yeah.

Nothing special.

Just a basement.

You know,
if that kid can survive that,

if I can survive
what happened to me,

you can at least hear
about it or think about it,

YOU know?

H's not that much too ask.

I know it's unpleasant, and
I know that people give us,

"Oh, everybody is a victim. "

Well, I'm not a fucking victim.
You know?

I'm not a victim.
I was but I'm not anymore.

And, uh...

But I am a witness.

You know?
And...

I'm my life's testimony.

You know, not only to
what happens to kids,

but what you can go on
to do and become,

no matter what they do.

Unless they kill you.
You know?

But that was close in my case.

It was real close.
But I'm here, I made it.

Thus, call me lucky.

OK?

And I'm not coming
back here again.

- He might say that
he hasn't changed

but when I first knew Barry
he was just a raw nerve.

He still has that fire in him,

but it's a little less
at the whole world

and at specific targets.

- You know who the biggest
suck-heads in the world are?

The people who think
they're clever,

that are like, "Well, I happen
to be politically incorrect. "

And now you get to act like
you're a cutting edge rebel

because you're reinforcing
the oppressive status quo.

You sack of fucking
rancid horse assholes!

- I remember from
my youth thinking, like,

you know, this guy needs
to be taken down a notch.

Do you know what I mean?

It's like,
who does he think he is'?

And now ifs sod of like'
well, someone should,

he should be taken
up a notch, I think.

- He gives a voice to all
those moments that you have

that, where you can't seem to
articulate your anger at this,

this entity, this, this...

at the injustice in the world
and how powerless we are.

But he's a reminder
that you do have power.

- I think underneath the
cynicism and the rage

is a sense of idealism
and justice.

The child who first discovered

that everything they
told him about society

was supposed to
operate was untrue.

And that begins a life
journey to reconcile that.

- I'm tired of being
called a radical.

I don't think I'm radical.
I don't think you're radical.

I don't think we're radical.

What's so radical
about what we want?

We want peace.

We want economic justice.

We want civil rights.

We want jobs.
We want hope.

We want public transportation.

I'm a radical?

No, I'm not a radical.

I don'! have 400,000 troops
assembled in a desert

wearing scuba diving suits

to bring me more oil and
I'm already choking to death on.

That's radical.

- People go, "Why do you
have to say that you're gay'?

Why do you have to do that?"

Well, why don't I'?

Why shouldn't I be
able to get up there

and tell people who I am'?

And why shouldn't
Barry get up there

and tell people
where he's come from

and his plight and his
journey that he's been on'?

And that's what,
that's what comedy,

that's where n comes from.

İt comes from,
comes from jour...

it comes from a lot of places'
but it comes from pain, too.

- My mother goes to me,
please go to the priest.

Tell the priest that you're gay.

Please do that for me
before I die.

Please, go to confession.

So I went to confession, and I
told the priest that I was gay,

and it was very difficult
to tell him that.

Uh, now we're dating, but so
it worked out... really well

- Well, I'd never
call Barry a saint.

And Barry...

you know, he always
grumbles about God'

but I know I think half the
reason why Barry's so funny

is a gesture of healing'

and it sounds kind of corny
to put it like that.

You know what I mean?

But I think, really, it's from
something deep inside him.

- He's like music.
He's harmony.

He's nature.

He has an understanding
what beautiful is,

and he has an understanding
of what horrific is.

- You know, I'd like to sort of
in many ways be more like Barry.

He's been wonderful to me

with all this problems
that I've had.

He's always been there.

And he still calls me
every day and always said'

"You can call me in the middle
of the night if you need me. "

You know? So that's a
wonderful way to feel.

- He's like a dancing
bear that got loose

and now he's calling the tune.

He's got the deep voice.

He's shaggy-

And we always thought that
deep voice and shaggy meant'

you know, a creature.

And he's a beat up creature.

But guess what?

That brain is completely,
you know,

on the ball and
the heart is enormous.

When I think of him,
I just think of us smiling.

Like, it makes me smile like...

don't you think he's one
of the smartest people

- you ever met in your life'?
- Yeah, definitely.

- I can't think of anybody
that I really respect

more than Barry.

Certainly a better person
for having known him.

- Something that I've always
remembered about him

is we cannot surrender
being the rude, funny,

obnoxious truth tellers.

We cannot surrender that.
That's our best weapon.

It's funny how you become

really best friends with people,
you know?

So I just,
I guess I love him.

I think I'd be remiss
in not saying.

- There's no way we should've
been the friends we were.

But we were really
great friends

because he was really
instrumental in, um...

he made me a lot of money.

I think of Barry as a relative

because what he thinks
of me is really important.

But at the same time, he
loves me unconditionally.

So it's very weird.

He's like a boat.

A nice, real nice sailboat
or something like that.

If you have a chance
to get on that boat,

get on it.

- Sometimes the most
anti-religious people

behave the most religiously.

- We have to have enough
guts to open up our ears,

to open up our hearts,
and to listen,

look, watch and
believe and testify'

to what really happens to
innocence in this world.

We have to take care of
innocence in this world.

And we have to be
brave enough

to stand up and tell the truth

about what happens to
innocence in this world.

So tell the truth.

Tell everyone the truth.

Tell anyone the truth

because your lives
depend on it.

My life depends on it.

And people who really can't
be heard really depend on it.

They really depend on it.

Thank you very much.

So I'm Barry Crimmins,

trying to be a good guy

but putting off a nasty aura
most of the time

so that people don't go...
to me all day long.

You know, there's so many
people who've been through

what I have been through

and they are afraid
to deal with anybody.

For whatever reasons
I was only hurt so much

and then somehow
I had a lifetime

where I was lucky enough,

like, my drug of choice
was friends.

# Yeah, I know I got Religion

# It took me away

# It took me away

# Yeah, we're locating my...

- It's interesting to see
that the same things

that he was thinking
about back in the 90s

are essentially the platform
that's being used

not only in our county
but throughout the nation.

We have indicted over
a thousand people

for sharing child pornography.

Hey, Goldthwaite.

You suck.

- There's these...
there's nobody else like him.

He's just one of a kind.

- And I don't want to
fawn over him 'cause he's,

you know, kind of a dick.

He's terribly racist.

I don't know if you knew
that about Barry Crimmins.

It's something that we
would fight about a lot.

- This is such an odd circum...
because even his closest friends

don't know this side of Barry'

but we were both America's
biggest hope in figure skating.

And we met m Montreal'

we were training for
the Olympics...

it's kind of a cute image.

Crimmins calls me up,

and I get over to his house
and he's not there.

And then I hear this
clatter downstairs,

and he's down there'

he's got 20 can opener
bottle openers

and he's just throwing 4 here,

goes in another room,
and throws 4.

I say, "What the heH
are you doing?"

He said, "I couldn't find a
fuckin' beer opener

so I bought 20 of them

and I'm scattering them
around (he house. "

So he'd never be shy
a bottle opener again.

- I remember picking him up
and I, you know,

I always had like,
kitschy stuff in my car

like a frog on the dashboard

or you know some sort
of stuffed thing,

and he'd go,
"You're a grown man.

Why do you got
toys in your car for?"

And he'd toss 'em.

He'd just, held chuck
'em right out the car.

And I never felt like
I could go,

"Hey, don't do that. "
I'd go, "Alright. "

You know,
toss my stuff, I guess.

- He would pull into the front
of my house on a Sunday morning

and really low toot the horn.

Not like a beep beep beep,
but just a.

And I would wake up going,

"What is that?
What's that noise?"

That's Barry Crimmins out front

'cause they don't sell liquor
in Boston on Sunday.

So he wants me to drive
him to New Hampshire.

And he would pull to
the front of my house'

and I'd be like, "But Barry,
my, my wife and my baby,

I really, I can't... "

He'd be like,
"This is taking up time. "

- Because, you know...
I mean, I have this problem

about being in show business.

I can feel shame
and embarrassment,

and it's, like,
really, like,

ruins you if you're
in show business.

I'm such a bad actor,

I can't even be in a
documentary about myself.

- Crimmins audition,
James Franco.

- This...
this mark?

- Yeah.
- OK.

- And... you set?
- Yeah.

Ready, and action.

- People say, "Barry, if you
don't love this country,

why don't you leave it?"

Because I don't want to be a
victim of its foreign policies.

Ugh.

Socialism is bad.

Yeah, I learned that
in public school.

Public school is socialism.

Ugh.

I do not fear excommunication.

I demand it.

Fuck you, Crimmins!