All language subtitles for locked_up_abroad_s04e06_panama

Nothing was easy about going back to
Columbia.

You could hike and bleed all day and
cover just a couple miles.

It didn't really occur to us how
dangerous it was.

Four soldiers just materialized out of
the bush.

We're surrounded, and it's just crazy.

They were going to take me into the
jungle and put a bullet in my head.

I was 21.

I went to the University of Colorado.

I really wasn't doing very well. I
wanted to leave.

I was thinking about what I was going to
do next.

I was from Colombia.

When I was very small, two months, I was
adopted by an American couple, and it

occurred to me that I should go back to
Colombia.

I think it's important for people that
have grown up somewhere else to go back.

It would be an adventure.

I figured I would grow as a person, and
then everything would make sense.

I had a road trip down from Colorado.

That was an important part of the trip,
was to really get off the tourist track.

I wanted to go back to Columbia in a way
that was meaningful to me.

I can fly or take a boat.

It was like...

Kung fu or something, this idea that I
would be walking through Central

I felt there was some truth to this.

You can get on a road and you can take
it all the way south, but it ends in

Panama, that's it.

But to cross into Colombia, you have to
cross the Darien Gap.

The Darien is kind of mythical. It's
jungle for hundreds of miles.

I had no idea what it would take to get
across.

There was... any number of potential
dangers there.

I would talk to travelers about the
Darien. People talked about drug

and the guerrillas.

They said, crazy, it's a stupid idea.

Who gets kidnapped?

Or killed, either one.

I was a little nervous, but that
certainly wasn't enough to dissuade me.

I thought it was an amazing opportunity
to kind of prove something myself.

It's challenging, this idea to cross the
Darien. Frightening.

But why should it be easy?

I bought a machete, a pair of tropical
combat boots, a

small military backpack.

Didn't really want to carry much.

Bought a baby blue mosquito net.

It's a little comical. You know, how
does one shop for a jungle adventure?

I was trying to shed my kind of American
appearance.

I felt like it would be easier for me to
kind of blend in.

I don't know if I did a very good job.

I look kind of like a bum, I think.

The last thing I needed before I left
was a map.

Not a lot of people ask for a map of the
Darien, obviously.

And I'm looking at what kind of maps are
there.

And this guy walks in.

He goes to the same counter.

He asks about a map of the Darien.

This is kind of strange.

Now I'm just all ears. I'm curious.

He introduced himself.

He said he was a journalist.

The woman gave a set of aerial
photographs.

They all looked the same. It was just
green with these trees.

Wow, that's going to be a big help. You
couldn't distinguish one from the other.

When were you thinking of going?

Next day or two. I think both of us were
trying to figure out if it was a good

fit to go together, and so we agreed to
meet up at his hotel.

Already I was thinking about if we were
going to travel together, how this would

go.

I brought something out for my own. My
plan was to kind of go unnoticed through

the Darien.

But he was traveling with another woman
who was my age.

My friend Megan.

I'm like, you know, she's blonde and six
feet tall.

At that point, I'm like, well, there's
no way we're going to be sneaking

the Darien. We're just trying to figure
out the best route.

I don't think Meg was so sure about me
coming along, which is funny because I

kind of had my own concerns about them.

I think we were all a little interested
in what we would encounter in the

Darien. We could run into some Colombian
guerrillas in this area. Yeah, right,

the FARC. I knew about the FARC.

FARC stands for the Revolutionary Armed
Forces of Colombia.

I was interested in what they were
trying to do.

There were people that, in my 21 -year
-old liberal arts mind, were taking

direct action.

I thought that they would change the way
things were in Columbia.

Poverty.

Romantic. Freedom fighters.

Yeah.

There was a discussion about the
potential of us being kidnapped.

But I had to get to Columbia, and I was
going to do it this way. So how do you

feel about us all going together?

I said, yeah. Do it.

We got in the boat, and there we were,
headed into the Darien.

There was really no thought to even if
we belonged in that part of the world.

That didn't occur to us. It was our
trip.

I didn't think there'd be any real
severe consequences.

Anything that I was going to get into, I
felt like I could kind of get out of. I

think we all felt that way.

We'd take all day to travel three or
four miles.

But we were definitely on our way.

Robert had a GPS, but the GPS was tough
in that part of the world.

We tried to get our maps to gel with the
GPS.

We couldn't get the map to coordinate.

It became very clear that this type of
journey was impossible without a guide.

We went upriver all day, and we arrived
at a native village, Kapati.

At that time, we met Victor.

He saw us pull in.

Hello. Welcome.

Good morning. Mark.

I liked Victor right off.

He was really friendly.

Good morning, miss.

I am single.

Older, early 50s.

Victor kind of took us on a tour. We
walked through the village. He showed us

his house.

We told Victor we were planning to cross
the Darien into Colombia.

And that didn't seem like too big an
issue for him.

He talked about his experience guiding
in the past.

And he claimed to have contacts with the
park, which was another relief. That's

one less of a reason to worry with a
guide that has contacts with the park.

Great. What do you think?

Kind of won us over, you know.

But before we could leave Capati with
Victor,

we had to meet with the Panamanian
police.

Capati was the final outpost on the
Panamanian side.

There was a little garrison on the edge
of the Darien.

It was fortified.

They had sandbag placements, machine gun
placements.

Clearly they were protecting that part
of Panama from something.

We're going to have to somehow appease
the police to let us through.

We began this kind of negotiation.

We asked to leave.

They told us it was too dangerous.

They had all sorts of stories about what
they thought was in the Daria. They

mentioned drug trafficking, they
mentioned the FARC.

And they sort of look to Victor and they
look at me. Do you understand?

Sort of, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you
know, guerrillas.

We said, we're not going to go far.

They weren't having it.

At that point, I was concerned that this
was as far as it was going to go.

I thought maybe we were going to be back
on the river, headed back the same way

we came.

I think this is the part where I began
to trust Victor because he wasn't

to give up.

And so it went on all afternoon.

Finally, the commanding officer said
that his commander was going to come and

was going to talk to us. All the
soldiers grabbed their weapons and

me, go.

And they headed up to this hilltop.

And that was the commander in his
helicopter just coming in low right over

canopy.

The helicopter landed.

Officer jumped out.

Blades are still spinning.

Shot it over. He asked who Mark was.

I was a Spanish speaker.

That's me.

And he was very brief. He said,
Panamanian police cannot ensure your

this region of the Darien. Do you
understand the risks involved?

I said, yes.

He said, okay.

Good luck.

And that was it. He took my hand, got
back in the helicopter, and left.

We felt great.

Everything was back on track.

Frankly, I don't think there was
anything they could have told us that

have really deterred us from continuing.

As it turned out, the Panamanian police
were right, but not for the reason that

any of us expected.

No one really could have predicted what
was going to happen next.

It's going to take about two hours to
get to the next village.

Leaving Kapiti was phenomenal.

It was happening. It was really
happening.

Victor negotiated a guide.

We had a young boy that was our guide to
the next village.

Everybody was in a pretty good mood.

Robert shot some video of us leaving.

These are like three different rivers
that come together.

The bridge.

We were on our way.

The first couple days were really rough
for Robert.

He had, like, the exhaustion.

It was just really difficult keeping up
fluids.

We were hiking between, like, 10 to 12
hours each day.

Portions of the trail were really slow.
We had to cut through brush.

They weren't well -traveled.

We'd walk in riverbed for an hour, and
then suddenly our guide would skirt off

on a very small, almost like a game
trail that you'd never fought on your

We walked for almost 12 hours coming
into Pucaro.

It was dusk, and we startled the people
there.

It was just a really rare occurrence to
have

people coming to the village.

These young men came out.

They had machetes.

It felt really hostile.

Yeah, I'm scared.

I'm scared.

I have no idea what they're going to do.

I don't know what's going to happen.

Are we going to be beat?

And it's just crazy.

They were in our faith.

There was dogs. Just unbelievable
commotion.

We're uninvited. We're in the Darien.
We've left the police outpost, and all

really have is victory.

All I could think, stay with Victor.

Stay with Victor.

If anyone's going to sort this out,
Victor's going to sort it out.

Victor kept his calm, and he walked
directly to the chief's home.

Obviously, they wanted to hear from us
what we were doing there and what we

planning.

Victor negotiated with the tribe.

They gave us a cabin to stay in for the
night.

From that point, I think the trip, it
changed a little bit.

Now things are kind of coming into
focus.

We are in the Darien now.

And things are going to only become...
more unexpected.

It's not that we couldn't have turned
around from there, but we limited our

options for ourselves.

It began to be, you know, not fun and
games. Like, this is real.

The next day, Victor negotiated guides
for us.

The plan was for the guides to take us
as far as Paya, which was the last

Panamanian village.

In just a matter of days, we'd be inside
Columbia.

I certainly didn't think that we'd put
the most difficult part of the trek

behind us.

We had yet to enter the border region,
the real heart of the jungle, if you

will.

We hiked all day through the jungle.

I remember Victor kind of laughing with
the guides about the amount of water we

were drinking.

And then we did run out of water.

At first, it's like, wow, I'm really
thirsty. I'd really like some water. And

then I really don't feel well, feel
lightheaded. We need to find water soon.

Eventually,

we

find a grove of green bamboo.

They would hack off part of the tree,
and then... cut off the top, and

have six, eight ounces of water stored
in the tree.

It was like a tremendous relief.

We hiked all afternoon, and that
afternoon we arrived in Paia.

Coming into Paia was much different than
Pucuru because they were expecting it.

We made it to the last stop before you
cross the border into Colombia.

That evening, we attended this tribal
meeting.

I can remember there was a group of
young men that were kind of dancing in

circles, playing their music, enjoying
themselves.

We ate fish and then rice and some
bushmeat, iguana.

We would eat what's served.

And it was good.

It was good.

By that time, things were moving along
pretty well, and we were able to

negotiate with the chief for guides.

I couldn't believe where I was.

I felt incredibly fortunate.

I felt like I was doing what I set out
to do.

We were there for a couple days.

Victor told us that that would be safer
if we made contact with the FARC now

rather than later.

He told us that a local commander with
the FARC would meet with us.

We spent a whole day. We just hung out.

But they never showed up.

If the FARC had showed up, that would
have been a huge relief.

But that didn't happen, and the
following day we left.

Leaving Paya, I knew we were close to
Columbia.

We were probably about a day or a day
and a half from the border.

Paya was our last village, and then
beyond that, the really serious part

Hiking through the jungle is what you'd
expect.

Everything is sharp and pointy or trying
to eat you.

I had a compass, but you can't just pick
a direction and walk east.

There's ravines and valleys.

You could hike and bushwhack and bleed
all day and cover just a couple miles

not really be any farther than from
where you started.

There'd be points where the guide would
turn around and we'd go back the same

way we came.

Went off in another direction.

You don't have any line of sight and
you're down under the canopy.

And you really don't have a sense even
what direction you're walking.

What I noticed more than anything was
this feeling that we were almost walking

in circles.

You'll pass a tree or some sort of
feature of vegetation and you'll swear

already walked by it.

We camped at night and expected to be in
Columbia the following day.

I slept in my hammock.

You kind of feel like a tuna in a net. I
mean, it's just not very comfortable.

And it's warm and there's bugs.

All sorts of things going on at night.
But it is loud.

I think gradually I was starting to feel
fatigued. Not physically, but

emotionally I was beginning to feel
tired.

Even in the times when things were going
as well as they possibly could have.

There was always an underlying fear of
where we were and what we were doing.

The next morning we woke up, we had
breakfast.

Hey Robert, you all packed?

All packed.

What about your hammock?

And we continued. We knew that we were
probably going to cross into Columbia

that day.

Right around noon we decided to stop for
lunch.

And while we were eating, three men we
knew from Paya passed us.

They were headed to the same village,
and they were moving quite quickly. They

had heavy bags, but they were moving
much faster than we were. We exchanged

pleasantries, and they were off. We knew
we probably wouldn't see them again

until we got there.

So after lunch, we grabbed our stuff,
and we got back underway.

And shortly after that, we were up on a
ridge line.

It was open. There was a storm that had
come in and knocked down a lot of the

trees, and we were kind of all picking
our way through.

And it was at that point where we heard
the gunshots.

We

heard

the gunshots.

They were pretty distinct.

Is that what I think it is?

They were farther up the valley, maybe a
half mile or a mile away.

They were just low births of fire.

My heart's racing. I remember kind of
having my own moment of anxiety, you

At that point, our guides simply said
that they weren't going to continue.

And they dropped everything they were
carrying, and they ran.

There was no discussion. They were going
back to Paya. End of story.

In moments, they were gone, and Robert's
gear and our food and everything were

just on the trail.

Mark, are you okay?

And that was Victor and Meg and Robert
and myself.

Before we could really talk about what
we wanted to do and what our plan was,

Two of the men that had passed us
earlier in the day showed up.

One of them was bleeding, and they were
completely terrified.

Apparently they'd been cutting bamboo,
and people had just started shooting at

them. That's all they could say.

And then one of them sort of showed
where the third man had been shot, that

they'd killed him.

And they continued back to Rupaya.

where our guides had just run off to.

I was trying to delay panic. You know, I
figured there'd be time to panic later

on, but at this point we really just
needed to figure out what we were going

do.

What do you think?

Do you think it's the FARC?

Seems likely, huh?

We didn't want to be trying to outrun
them through the jungle. Their first

response would be to fire on anyone that
was trying to move away from them.

You think we could make it back to Paya?
And then Paya was two days away.

That meant a night in the jungle with...

Whoever else was out there. And those
options didn't seem very appealing.

So what do you think?

I remember being quiet.

I remember not really saying much. I
just kind of went back into myself.

This wasn't really my game.

Robert was the one that suggested... I
think we keep going.

Toward the ambush.

It'll be safer than to, uh...

To turn back.

What about Victor?

We stayed together.

Mark, are you happy with that?

I'm scared.

But this was something I kind of hoped
to encounter.

A true, true, true test.

Okay, so we're all agreed.

It was that important to me that I could
deal with whatever it was down the

trail.

There was a lot of internal monologue.

I was thinking about the fact that maybe
their first response was going to be to

open fire.

Robert suggested that we speak loudly so
they would have ample warning before we

encountered whoever it was that had been
shooting.

All right, where are we going, Victor?

Where are we going?

I was kind of reaching a bit of a
breaking point.

Keep talking.

Louder. After maybe just 15 or 20
minutes, we made our way up to a bluff.

And Robert, I think, actually said, This
would be a really good place for an

ambulance.

And four soldiers just materialized.
They just stood up.

True hair. Young, probably all in their
early 20s.

And I remember very distinctly that the
soldier just directly in front of me had

a green bandana and a single blue
feather right in the middle, kind of

Their arms pointed their guns at us. We
had our hands up, and we took off our

bag, and then we sat down.

At that point, the soldiers were just
immediately on their radios.

We were thinking they were the FARC.

Victor was the one with the FARC
contact, and now we were going to fall

Victor's relationship and then also
Robert as a journalist.

They wanted to kind of figure out who we
were.

Robert had articles, and he kind of
wanted to demonstrate to them that he

actually was a journalist.

But they weren't too interested in our
story.

They started this casual conversation
about tiger meat, tigre.

And they asked Victor if he'd ever had
tigre.

Victor said, yeah, yeah, it's very rich,
it's very rich. And they said, yeah,

yeah, yeah, we really like tigers.

They said, tigers eat tigers.

You know, predators eat predators.

From there, they went on to say that
they'd just seen tiger.

In fact, they'd shot at one in the
jungle.

And they kind of hinted at whether or
not we'd heard the gunfire.

No, no, no.

No, no. We said no. We all had the good
sense to keep our mouths shut.

After about an hour of waiting around,
another group of soldiers arrived.

Now there was maybe 30 or 40 soldiers,
like, right where we were.

We don't know what the hell is going on.

They separate us from Big Sur.

Victor was nervous from the beginning,
and I could kind of see it on his face.

He was too far away to hear what he was
saying, but he was talking to the squad

commander.

Eventually, Victor came back, and the
squad commander launched

into this.

speech about the Revolutionary Armed
Forces of Colombia, the FARC.

They were members of the FARC. They were
there to protect the people of

Colombia.

And we listened.

When he was done speaking, Victor
started speaking to me in English.

He was trying to appear casual, but he
was struggling.

He was really trying to pick his words
carefully.

He told me they didn't trust him, and he

didn't know them, that he was worried.

At that point, I was really confused.

Victor didn't know who they were.

They claimed they were FARC, but they
were making up stories about shooting in

the jungle.

They haven't killed us, that's good, but
it was another story now.

How are we going to get out of this?

They wanted to see our maps, and they
had some questions about Paya and who

there and what was there.

They decided that they were going into
Panama for themselves, but they needed a

guide to retrace our steps.

What did he say?

He said they want to take Victor with
them to Panama.

There was a brief argument.

We were pretty emphatic about it, but
Victor didn't really say much of

on his behalf.

I think at that point he realized that
things were beyond his control.

I mean, we really pleaded with him, but
they assured us, they said, it's not to

worry, we're just going to secure the
area.

The situation that I put myself in.

Decision after decision led me to this
point of running into the park.

This is almost exactly what I thought
might happen. Did I not realize the

seriousness of this?

I was really worried.

I was convinced Victor was probably
dead.

We more or less stayed.

put right where we were.

They put us right in the middle of this
group of soldiers, maybe 20, so we slept

surrounded.

No one was going to sneak off in the
middle of the night.

And I don't remember sleeping a lot that
night.

The soldiers, they would pull guard duty
all night.

Every couple hours, four or five
soldiers would get up and go in and take

and four or five more would come back.

I don't know what they wanted.

I don't know what we would do if we were
permanently held.

To be so foolish as to just stumble
across a border the way we did.

Our ability to make choices ended once
we walked down the trail.

In the morning, they moved us.

It was very warm, and there was a
particular smell in the area.

It could have been anything, but it
smelled like

death.

It's something that happened at that
location.

The two men that had run back and the
third that had been killed, we saw their

things. They were just kind of torn
open, stewing apart.

His body wasn't there. It was just the
bags that the men had been carrying.

But it felt like a body.

Their things felt like a body.

At that point, we were kind of with this
small group of soldiers, kind of made a

camp there in the jungle, and we just
waited.

So I'm thinking, okay, so this is the
FARC, the left wing, you know, the

fighters. They were young, really young.

Kids, really.

16, 17, 18 years old.

I wasn't an expert about the FARC, but I
had some pretty pointed questions, kind

of philosophical stuff.

But any conversation that I tried to
engage them with, it didn't go anywhere.

They were curious about Robert's iPod.
They wanted to talk about music.

They wanted to talk about their
families.

At night, they were kind of jumpy, and I
think that just comes with being in the

jungle for as long as they've been.

It was just on the edge of darkness. I
became aware of this really distinct

noise.

And I asked if anyone else heard it. It
was distant, but it was

low.

It kept building in intensity over the
span of maybe four or five minutes.

The soldiers started to become alarmed
because it continued to get louder and

louder and louder.

Was that a helicopter?

We're thinking maybe it was a
helicopter, but the sound was becoming

complex.

There was this kind of clicking, almost
like a metallic sound.

Now the soldiers are totally spooked,
and their little squad leader is telling

them to take position, and they don't
want to go.

We're all like, what do you think it is?
Robert looks at us, and he says, Sounds

like a column of men coming toward us.
And I listen, and it's just right there.

Yeah.

Of course, it's a massive amount of
soldiers running toward us through the

forest.

And then the noise just rose to a level
where the soldiers just opened up.

Robert, like, get as far away from the
muzzle blast as possible.

I have a very clear memory of trying to
literally, like, bury my head in a

jungle.

And it keeps firing, and there's just
silence.

Just complete silence.

And then someone says, it's pigs, wild
pigs.

And that's exactly what it was.

The days continued to come and go.

It became fatiguing. It was kind of
wearing on my psyche.

It became more and more serious.

because we weren't getting handed over.

We would hear helicopters, you know,
Blackhawks had like a really distinct

to them, kind of real low, throaty.

We'd all kind of look at it, but it's
impossible for them to see us.

We were certainly kind of under guard,
but we weren't restrained.

Our hands were never bound.

We also really didn't talk about
escaping. That was a step that I don't

were prepared to even think about.

There was opportunities.

They were kind of careless with their
weapons. They didn't leave them around.

Sometimes they'd forget them.

But then once you escape, where do you
go?

We didn't have provisions on us. Then we
really would have been on our own.

Frankly, we didn't have a lot of our own
survival skills.

Then, that evening, another group of
soldiers arrived.

They were the soldiers that went into
Panama.

They had heavier mortars, Russian squad
machine guns.

The commander that originally took
Victor reassures us that Victor is going

be coming along any minute.

It's a man. All of our electronic
equipment.

They took our media, our passports.

Everything we had.

The level of anxiety, it's gradually
building.

Like, grab your bag, get your stuff, we
need to leave.

As we were climbing out of this
ridgeline, Robert and I began this

which was basically, how do we really
know these people are who they say they

are?

We thought if we were going to run into
somebody, it would be the part.

But I remember Victor was nervous from
the beginning that he didn't really know

who they were.

When he left, he was really quiet.

I'm certain he feared for his life.

It's possible he was thinking they were
the sworn enemy of the FARC

paramilitaries.

I knew there were rumors about them
using chainsaws on people.

I was familiar with the paramilitaries,
the right wing, death squad.

I was aware that their tactics were
horrifying.

They wanted support in the rural areas,
and they were willing to do anything to

get that.

It was pretty rare that paramilitaries
would take people and then release them.

Now I have no idea what was going to
happen next.

We hiked all night.

Moving at night, you just follow the
soldier in front of you.

You can't see anything.

Just pitch black dark.

Nobody can use a flashlight because
there was potential to run into other

groups.

It just feels like it's never going to
end.

Finally, We arrived at the village that
was kind of our original destination in

Columbia.

We come out onto this really large
soccer field, and there's dozens of

already sacked out on the field, and we
just crashed.

We're all beyond words, just so
fatigued.

I don't remember sleeping. I must have.

But just a couple hours later, 4 or 5 in
the morning, the soldier woke me up.

There was about six soldiers.

I didn't recognize any of them.

These guys were older.

They meant business, and they told us to
get up.

Of course, at that point, it's just
like, what, are you kidding me? Like, we

hiked all night. We've only slept for a
couple hours, and we're moving again.

I'm waking up now, and I'm kind of
realizing that this isn't probably the

situation.

I don't know these guys.

They're not the soldiers that we kind of
had a relationship with.

It just becomes apparent. For whatever
reason, they don't want us to be seen by

anybody in the village.

At this point, I'm consciously fearful
for my life.

They take us to a graveyard, to the Kuna
burial site. It's outside the village.

I look at Megan. I'm just like, what do
you think?

And Meg has this kind of, like, way of
putting things. She's like, I don't

She's like, I think they're going to do
it.

I'm like, really?

I think you're right.

Like, that's exactly how I feel. I mean,
like, is this it? Is it how it's going

to go down?

And she's like, I don't know. That's
what it feels like.

I was like, now I know what's going to
happen. They're going to kill us.

They kept telling us they were going to
release us, and they never did. We've

been in the jungle days.

And now we're in a graveyard.

They took our media.

So there's no evidence now.

They have everything. They have us.

We're going to be shot.

So we waited.

And four or five soldiers showed up, and
they took me.

by myself.

And Meg was just like...

She just said goodbye to me.

They both said goodbye to me.

It was... I went with them. I left.

Now I know what's going to happen.
They're going to kill us.

I don't know why, but they're going to
kill us.

I kind of gave up at that point.

I feel kind of, in a weird way, ready. I
mean, maybe this is how it should have

been. I mean, I'm back in Columbia,
right?

Things have kind of come around, you
know?

You always think you try to run, grab a
weapon or something.

But oddly enough, that wasn't on my
mind.

I just figured that they were going to
take me into the jungle and put me on my

knees and put a bullet in my head.

They took me out onto the riverbank.
Most of the entire guerrilla detachment

right there.

And another superior had showed up.

And they sat me down, like, right in the
middle.

And now it's just like, well, what's
going to happen next?

The commander offered me a cigarette,
and we start this conversation about

politics.

He wants to know what I think about the
paramilitary.

Pretty certain they're not the FARC
anymore.

I told him what I thought about them.

I figured if they wanted to shoot me,
they could shoot me.

I told him that the paramilitary was
probably the biggest problem in Colombia

that time.

the assassinations and the murders and
the massacres.

I just sort of gave him a piece of my
mind.

I think I probably was ranting.

And partway through the rant, this
commander kind of interrupts me

and pulls off his T -shirt

and like, there it is.

We're paramilitary.

Let's go on crossbones with kind of
their little tag. What do you think

that?

He said, I'd take the cigarette now.

I'd just run my mouth off.

That was a big joke.

It became clear that they'd gotten
instruction to play along with his fart

storyline.

And the joke really was on me, but I
laughed too.

Once everybody kind of laughed at me, I
kind of became convinced that they

thought we were completely harmless.

Robert and Meg were down the riverbank
when they saw me.

They were surprised to see me alive.

Tell us that we can go.

I almost couldn't believe it.

The next day, there were some people
here to pick us up.

We thought it was going to be the Red
Cross, but it was a Colombian priest and

nun from a convent.

I hadn't really gotten time to really
think about what had happened.

I was still wound up.

It was just a huge continuum of emotion.
It was like dread and then relief.

I felt like there was going to be a
point where I would have to kind of dump

of the stress and anxiety I was feeling.

But at that point, I was hanging in
there, I think.

I was hanging in there.

We were out of the jungle, and we were
definitely in Columbia.

The U .S. Embassy sent the jet for us.

And then, same day, they fly us to
Bogota.

They sit us right down in office, and
they're just all ears.

They want to know everything.

At that point, the cracks are starting.

I was starting to feel burnout.

And there were a lot of questions about
Victor.

Where did you meet him?

There are questions about how we met
him. He's one of the locals in Kapati.

What he'd done in certain situations.

You okay?

You haven't heard what happened?

It was then that we got the full story
about what had happened after Victor

with the paramilitary.

They got Victor to lead them back into
Panama.

And when they got to Paya, there was
kind of a celebration underway.

For whatever reason, they didn't like
the cooperation they were getting.

The chief was killed by the
paramilitaries.

His son was left for dead.

From there, they left Paya, and they
went even deeper into Panama, all the

to Pucuru.

I'm guessing if Victor wasn't convinced
before that he was a dead man, he's

absolutely convinced now.

So, Victor escapes.

Somewhere between Paya and Pukuru,
there's like a 50 -year -old man trying

outrun an entire squad of hardened,
trained paramilitary soldiers in the

jungle. And he outruns them.

Warns the village. And by the time the
paramilitary show up, the village is

empty. They looted.

Burned a couple of the buildings to the
ground and left. We burned a couple of

buildings to the ground and left.

They took what they wanted.

When I heard about what happened, I
blamed myself.

This was an act of terrorism.

It was the first paramilitary incursion
into Panama.

Our guides were from Paya.

There had been people killed.

I mean, everything kind of fell away.

The room started spinning.

I just felt suddenly really horrible.

I could just feel a fever coming on, and
they asked me, are you okay?

I'm like, no.

I need to lie down.

They sat me down, and this

nurse came in. She just said, what
happened to you?

I completely lost it.

I just cried. It felt really good.

I couldn't explain to her what had
happened to me because I didn't know

happened to me.

but I'd made it to where I wanted to be.

I was back in Columbia.

That in itself was kind of overwhelming.

Literally, I just had this day in
Bogota, and that was it.

I got a cab, and I went to a central
park in the middle of the city.

I walked, I sat on a bench.

I had more questions sitting on that
bench than I did when I left.

There had been people killed.

And maybe it was our fault.

Whether or not the paramilitaries would
have gone into Panama without us is up

for argument, but I felt responsible for
what happened.

Even eight years later, I still think
about it. I still think about the

I made to take that trip.

I'd gotten this idea in my head.

That I would personally pay any cost to
cross the Darien.

But in the end, I didn't have to pay it,
really.

Other people paid for it.